How To Break A Habit - 15 Tips For Success

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How to Break a Habit: 15 Tips for Success

How to Break a Habit (and Make It Stick)


Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD — By Crystal Raypole on
October 29, 2019

Know your triggers Ask why Enlist a friend Be mindful


Swap habits Make reminders Prepare for slipups
Don’t ignore progress Start small Change your space Visualize
Practice self-care Reward yourself Be patient Get support

Everyone has habits, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with them.
Some are pretty useful — maybe you lay out your clothes for work the
night before or automatically turn off the lights when you leave a room.

But other habits, such as biting your nails, drinking caffeine too late in the
day, or hitting snooze too many times, might not be so beneficial.

Breaking unwanted habits can be difficult, especially if you’ve been


engaging in them for a long time. But understanding how habits form in
the first place can ease the process.

The making of a habit


There are a few theories around how habits develop. The idea of
the 3 Rs is one of the main ones:

Reminder. This is a trigger, or cue, that could be a


conscious behavior, such as flushing the toilet, or a
feeling, such as nervousness.
Routine. This is the behavior associated with the trigger.
Flushing the toilet cues you to wash your hands, while
feeling nervous triggers biting your nails. Doing something
over and over can make the behavior routine.
Reward. The reward associated with a behavior also helps
make a habit stick. If you do something that causes
enjoyment or relieves distress, the pleasurable release of
dopamine in your brain can make you want to do it again.

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Identify your triggers


Remember, triggers are the first step in developing a habit. Identifying the
triggers behind your habitual behaviors is the first step in moving past
them.

Spend a few days tracking your habit to see whether it follows any
patterns.

Note things like:

Where does the habitual behavior happen?


What time of day?
How do you feel when it happens?

Are other people involved?


Does it happen right after something else?

Let’s say you want to stop staying up past midnight. After a few days of
tracking your behavior, you realize you tend to stay up later if you start
watching TV or chatting with friends after dinner. But you go to bed earlier
if you read or take a walk.

You decide to stop watching TV and turn off your phone by 9 p.m. on
weeknights. Removing the trigger — watching TV or talking to friends —
makes it harder to carry out the routine of staying up too late.

Focus on why you want to change


Why do you want to break or change a certain habit? Research from 2012

suggests it may be easier to change your behavior when the change
you want to make is valuable or beneficial to you.

Take a few minutes to consider why you want to break the habit and any
benefits you see resulting from the change. Listing these reasons may
help you think of a few that hadn’t occurred to you yet.

For added motivation, write your reasons down on a piece of paper and
keep it on your fridge, bathroom mirror, or another place where you’ll see
it regularly.

Seeing the list can keep the change you’re trying to make fresh in your
mind. If you do happen to fall back into the habit, your list reminds you
why you want to keep trying.

Enlist a friend’s support


If you and a friend or partner both want to break an unwanted habit, try to
do it together.

Say you both want to stop smoking. Dealing with cravings on your own
can be tough. Quitting along with a friend won’t make the cravings go
away. But they might be easier to deal with when facing them with
someone else.

Make it a point to cheer each other’s successes and encourage each


other through setbacks.

A friend can still offer support even if they don’t have any habits they want
to change. Consider telling a trusted friend about the habit you’re trying
to break. They can encourage you in times of doubt and gently remind
you of your goal if they notice you slipping back into old habits.

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Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness can help you develop awareness around your thoughts,
feelings, and actions. This practice involves simply observing impulses
that relate to your habit without judging them or reacting to them.

As you become more aware of these routine behaviors and the triggers
that lead to them, you may find it easier to consider other options, such as
avoiding reminder cues or not acting on the urges.

Practicing mindfulness can also help you notice ways your habit
affects your daily life. As you start to recognize these effects, you
may feel more driven to work on changing the habit.

Replace the habit with a different one


You might have an easier time breaking a habit if you replace the
unwanted behavior with a new behavior, instead of simply trying to stop
the unwanted behavior.

Say you want to stop reaching for candy when you’re hungry at work. If
you simply try to avoid the candy dish, you might fall back into the habit
when you can’t resist hunger. But bringing in a Tupperware of dried fruit
and nuts to keep at your desk gives you another snack option.

As you repeat the new behavior, the impulse to follow the new routine
develops. Eventually, after you see rewards from the new habit — more
energy and less of a sugar crash — the urge to keep doing this behavior
might outweigh the desire to pursue the old habit.

Replacing harmful habits, such as substance misuse, with more


positive ones can have a lot of benefit. But it’s important to
remember “good” habits, such as exercise, can still become
excessive. Even “healthy” eating can have negative effects when
taken to extremes.

Leave yourself reminders


Using stickers, sticky notes, or other visual reminders wherever the habit
behavior happens can help you rethink the action when something
triggers you.

Here are a few ideas:

Want to break the habit of drinking soda with every meal? Try
leaving small stickers on your refrigerator that you’ll see when you
go to reach for a can.
Trying to remember to turn off lights when you leave a room? Leave
a note for yourself on the light switch or door.
Want to start keeping your keys in a designated place so you stop
losing them frequently? Leave a dish for your keys in the first place
you’ll see it when you return home.

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You can also use a smartphone for reminders. Set your alarm and add a
motivating note to yourself, such as “Time to turn off the TV! :)” or “After-
dinner walk — remember how good it feels!”

Prepare for slipups


Breaking a habit can be challenging, though you might find some habits
easier to shake than others.

“It’s very easy to slip back into old patterns, particularly when the new
ones aren’t solidified yet,” said Erika Myers, LPC. “Change is hard.
Remember, it took a while to build up those habits, so you won’t lose
them in a day.”

Try to mentally prepare for slipups so you won’t feel guilty or


discouraged if you do. Maybe you commit to jotting down three
bullet points about how you felt as you were doing the habit, or
do a quick breathing exercise.

Try to learn from your slipups. Be honest with yourself about what led to
the setback, and consider whether changing your approach might help
you stay more on track.

Let go of the all-or-nothing mindset


Accepting you’ll probably slip up a few times when trying to break a habit
and coming up with a plan is one thing. Preventing feelings of frustration
and failure when you do slip up is another story.

If you fall back into an old habit, you might wonder, “Can I really do this?”
You might begin to doubt yourself and feel inclined to give up.

Myers recommends looking at your successes instead. Maybe you’re


trying to quit smoking and you succeed for 3 days in a row. On the fourth
day, you have a cigarette and spend the rest of the night feeling like a
failure.

“Having a cigarette after going a few days without smoking doesn’t take
away those past days,” said Myers. Remember, you can make a different
choice tomorrow.

“You’re looking for movement in a particular direction rather than


perfection,” Myers added. “Instead of focusing on your end goal,
consider this: Anything you do that’s more of what you want is
good.”

Start small
Trying to kick multiple habits in the same go? The image of a new,
improved self can be a powerful motivator, especially when you first
decide to change unwanted habits.

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This can sometimes work. If the habits go together, you might find it
easier to address them at the same time. For example, if you want to stop
smoking and drinking, and you always do those two things together,
quitting both at once may make the most sense.

But experts generally recommend starting small. Aim to change


one habit at a time. Addressing habits in steps can also help,
even if these steps seem too small or easily manageable in the
beginning.

Thinking back to the soda-with-every-meal example, you could start by


not drinking soda with dinner for a week. Then, bump it up to not having it
with dinner or lunch the next week.

Change your environment


Your surroundings can sometimes have a big impact on your habits.

Maybe you’re trying to break the habit of always ordering takeout


because it’s costing you too much money. But every time you go into the
kitchen, you see the to-go menus hanging on your fridge. You could try
replacing the menu with printouts of easy recipes you know you’ll enjoy.

Other examples include:

leaving a journal, book, or hobby items (sketchbooks, crafts, or


games) on your coffee table to encourage you to pick them up
instead of scrolling through social media
spending 10 or 15 minutes tidying up your house each evening to
encourage you to keep things clutter-free
changing up your morning walk to work so you don’t pass the cafe
with the tempting, overpriced latte

Keep in mind that the people you surround yourself with are also part of
your environment. Consider taking a break from spending time with those
who contribute to your habit or don’t support your process of breaking
one.

Visualize yourself breaking the habit


Breaking habits doesn’t have to be an entirely hands-on, physical
process. You can practice new replacement habits mentally, too.

Imagine yourself in a triggering environment or situation, such as the


morning before your performance review. How would you typically react?
You might see yourself anxiously biting your nails or drumming your pen
against your desk.

How could you react instead? Visualize yourself practicing deep


breathing, walking to get a drink of water, sorting through old notes or
files, or tidying desk drawers — anything that keeps your hands busy and
helps calm you.

Practicing a different response in your mind can help it become

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more familiar when you face the situation in reality.

Practice self-care
Many people find it easier to create positive changes in life when they
begin from a place of wellness.

If you’re already dealing with other challenges, such as work stress,


relationship troubles, or health problems, trying to break a habit can lead
to more distress than the actual habit.

When breaking a habit, it’s especially important to prioritize your own


wellness. This not only boosts your chances of success, but it also helps
you keep functioning in the face of challenges.

Try these self-care tips:

Make time for restful sleep.


Eat regular, nutritious meals.
See your healthcare provider for any long-term concerns.
Aim to be physically active most days.
Take at least a little time each day for hobbies, relaxation, or other
things that improve your mood.

Motivate yourself with rewards for success


Remember, breaking a habit can be incredibly difficult. Make sure to
acknowledge how far you’ve come, and try to give yourself rewards along
the way. Even small motivators, like telling yourself what a great job
you’re doing, can boost your confidence and increase your drive to keep
trying.

When you focus on the progress you’ve made, you’re less likely to
become discouraged or engage in negative self-talk, both of which can
do a number on your motivation.

“Celebrate your wins,” Erika recommended. “Maybe you aren’t


ready to run a marathon, but if running a mile this week is easier
than it was last week, that’s success.”

Give it time
There’s a common myth that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. But
where does that figure come from?

It’s likely from a study involving people who had plastic surgery. Most of
them adjusted to their changed appearance within 3 weeks. That’s pretty
different from actively working to break and ingrained habit.

Realistically, experts believe it takes about 10 weeks (2 to 3


months) or more to break an unwanted happen. Of course, some

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habits may take more or less time to break.

The amount of time it takes to break a habit depends on several things,


according to Myers.

These include:

how long you’ve had the habit


the emotional, physical, or social needs the habit fulfills
whether you have support or help breaking the habit
the physical or emotional reward the habit provides

If a few weeks have passed, and you feel you haven’t made much
progress, it can help to revisit your approach. But you might also consider
seeking help from a mental health professional, especially for habits that
are more deeply ingrained in your behavior or cause you a lot of distress

Know that you don’t have to do it alone


You might have success breaking some habits, such as buying lunch
every day or skipping the gym, on your own, with a bit of effort and
dedication.

But if you want to address deeper habits, such as emotional eating,


compulsions, alcohol misuse, or addiction, the support of a trained mental
health professional can make a world of difference.

Working through these issues alone can be tough, and a therapist or


counselor can offer guidance and support.

A mental health professional can help you:

identify changes you want to make


explore anything blocking you from change
identify your motivations for change
get perspective on your progress
learn how to counter and cope with negative self-talk

“The accountability of meeting with someone regularly can also provide


structure that supports the changes you’ve made,” Myers concluded.

It might not seem like it in the moment, but over time, your new habits will
become established in your daily life. Soon enough, they may even feel
as natural as your old habits.

Crystal has previously worked as a writer and


editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest
include Asian languages and literature, Japanese
translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex
positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s
committed to helping decrease stigma around
mental health issues.

Last medically reviewed on October 29, 2019

How we reviewed this article:

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SOURCES HISTORY

Our experts continually monitor the health and wellness space, and we
update our articles when new information becomes available.
Current Version

Oct 29, 2019

Written By
Crystal Raypole

Edited By
Frank Crooks

Medically Reviewed By
Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD

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