VM Worksheet

Worksheet
What’s inside:
VM DAY1 - 4 week progress tracker .........................................................3
VM DAY2 - What do you procrastinate about? .....................................6
VM DAY5 - Procrastination Excuse .........................................................10
VM DAY6 - Procrastination Cycle ............................................................12
VM DAY8 - Trace Back the Pattern .........................................................15
VM DAY10 - Unhelpful Rules & Assumptions ....................................16
VM DAY12 - Sleep Tracker.........................................................................18
VM DAY16 - Encourage Rather Than Criticise ....................................20
VM DAY20 - 4 week progress tracker....................................................22
VM DAY21 - Weekly Tracker.....................................................................25
VM DAY22 - Consequences of Procrastination ..................................23
VM DAY25 - Procrastination action plan...............................................28
VM DAY26 - Self-Esteem Journal ...........................................................31
VM DAY28 - 4 week progress tracker ....................................................32
VM DAY29 - 4 week progress tracker ....................................................32
VM DAY30 - Weekly planner ....................................................................35
VM DAY62 - Habit Tracker .........................................................................37
VM DAY64 - Self-Esteem ...........................................................................39
VM DAY65 - Self-Esteem ...........................................................................40
VM DAY66 - The Self-Esteem Model ....................................................41
VM DAY68 - Model of Low Self-Esteem: The Full Model ..............44
VM DAY70 - Thought Diary for Biased Expectations .......................46
VM DAY71 - Thought Diary for Negative Self-Evaluations ............48
VM DAY72 - Positive Qualities Record ..................................................50
VM DAY73 - Positive You Journal ............................................................51
VM DAY75 - Adjusting the Rules ............................................................52
VM DAY78 - Self- Management Plan ....................................................56
Your 4-week progress
tracker
Hi, and welcome to your journey!
Research shows that people who measure their progress are far more likely to reach their goals.
This applies to procrastination, too. Why?
• It establishes a baseline, which is the first step in determining whether you’re making progress.
• It focuses your attention on the behavior you’re trying to change, and stops it falling down your
list of priorities. It helps you identify potential obstacles and strategies for how to overcome them,
setting more realistic goals and staying positive along the way.
• Simply measuring your procrastination activity can reduce it, just as tracking how much you spend
on food makes you dine out less.
• Measuring progress will keep you accountable and help you stay consistent.
We’ll be tracking four important factors throughout the program: your overall daily productivity level,
setup and completion of your daily to-do list, and completion of your daily Virtue Map tasks. As you’ll
see throughout the program, completing your small daily Virtue Map tasks is extremely important, as
these are the little changes that will lead to big changes in your procrastination behavior.
Let the journey begin!
3
EXAMPLE
HOW TO TRACK YOUR PROGRESS: 1 - Extremely poor

2 - Bad
Mark other daily tasks from 1 to 5. 3 - Average
Calculate the total weekly score and easily track your progress. 4 - Good
5 - Excellent
WEEK 1 WEEK 2
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
My overall My overall
productivity today productivity today
Completed all daily Completed all daily

VM tasks VM tasks
Set a clear daily Set a clear daily

to-do list to-do list
Finished all my Finished all my

personal daily tasks personal daily tasks
READ A BOOK READ A BOOK

.................................. ..................................
DAILY RESULT DAILY RESULT
WEEK 3 WEEK 4
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

VM tasks VM tasks



.................................. ..................................
HOW DID YOU DO THIS MONTH? Your total month score:
0-199 You are on the right path!
200-399 You are doing great. Keep it up!
400-599 Almost there! You can do it.
600+ This is outstanding progress. Don’t stop now!
4
2 - Bad
5 - Excellent
WEEK 1 WEEK 2
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

VM tasks VM tasks


.................................. ..................................
WEEK 3 WEEK 4
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

VM tasks VM tasks


.................................. ..................................
5
EXAMPLE
What do you
procrastinate about?
Having paid more attention to your actions over the week, and also remem-
bering past things you have put off, look through the list below and high-
light the types of Tasks/Goals you tend to procrastinate about:
WORK HOUSEHOLD
Meeting deadlines Daily chores (dishes, tidying, cooking, etc)
Making phone calls Bigger chores (vacuuming, washing, ironing, etc)
Attending meetings Spring cleaning the house
Starting or finishing projects Household projects
Being assertive with colleagues Maintenance and fixing things
Paperwork Grocery shopping
Job applications Gardening
Research or reading Running errands
STUDY HEALTH
Meeting deadlines
Making medical appointments
Attending classes
Attending medical appointments
Homework
Changing diet
Assignments
Starting an exercise routine
Studying for exams
Losing weight
Research or reading
Quitting smoking/alcohol/drugs
Asking questions or requesting help
FINANCIAL SOCIAL, FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

Saving Making phone calls
Paying the bills Replying to invitations
Budgeting Spending time with others
Book keeping Arranging get togethers
Tax return Attending get togethers
Paying back debts Discussing problems
SELF-DEVELOPMENT DECISION MAKING

Starting a course you always wanted to do
Starting a hobby Making plans
Getting involved in something spiritual Committing to something new
Relaxation Choosing between options
Reading a book
OTHERS
Ending a relationship
Firing an employee
Asking that girl on a date
6
EXAMPLE
Now think about which of these causes you the most grief, distress,
negative consequences and problems in your life. We know you may
want to tackle all of them at once. But remember procrastination is an
old habit. To develop a new habit of following through on things, you
need to star t slowly, and take it one step at a time. So choose one task/-
goal to star t and when you have made some progress, you can then
choose another task/goal to tackle. Doing things this way will increase
the likelihood that you will move from ‘procrastinator ’ to ‘doer ’.
Most important tasks/goals I would like to work on:
1. New eCommerce project
2. Childhood issues with my dad affecting my current relationships
3. Personal income: $100k to $200k per annum
4.
5.
7
What do you
procrastinate about?
Having paid more attention to your actions over the week, and also remem-
bering past things you have put off, look through the list below and high-
light the types of Tasks/Goals you tend to procrastinate about:
WORK HOUSEHOLD
Meeting deadlines Daily chores (dishes, tidying, cooking, etc)
Making phone calls Bigger chores (vacuuming, washing, ironing, etc)
Attending meetings Spring cleaning the house
Starting or finishing projects Household projects
Being assertive with colleagues Maintenance and fixing things
Paperwork Grocery shopping
Job applications Gardening
Research or reading Running errands
STUDY HEALTH
Meeting deadlines
Making medical appointments
Attending classes
Attending medical appointments
Homework
Changing diet
Assignments
Starting an exercise routine
Studying for exams
Losing weight
Research or reading
Quitting smoking/alcohol/drugs
Asking questions or requesting help
FINANCIAL SOCIAL, FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

Saving Making phone calls
Paying the bills Replying to invitations
Budgeting Spending time with others
Book keeping Arranging get togethers
Tax return Attending get togethers
Paying back debts Discussing problems
SELF-DEVELOPMENT DECISION MAKING

Starting a course you always wanted to do
Starting a hobby Making plans
Getting involved in something spiritual Committing to something new
Relaxation Choosing between options
Reading a book
OTHERS
Ending a relationship
Firing an employee
Asking that girl on a date
8
Now think about which of these causes you the most grief, distress,
negative consequences and problems in your life. We know you may
want to tackle all of them at once. But remember procrastination is an
old habit. To develop a new habit of following through on things, you
need to star t slowly, and take it one step at a time. So choose one task/-
goal to star t and when you have made some progress, you can then
choose another task/goal to tackle. Doing things this way will increase
the likelihood that you will move from ‘procrastinator ’ to ‘doer ’.
Most important tasks/goals I would like to work on:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
9
EXAMPLE
Procrastination Excuse
THE TRUTH OLD UNHELPFUL
CONCLUSION
I am really tired I am better off doing

it after I have rested
ANSWERS TO DISPUTATION QUESTIONS
It is true I am tired right now and things will be more of an effort.

But, times before when I have done things even though I am tired,
I have felt better for having gotten started and accomplished
something, and usually I end up having more energy rather than
less.
If I delay this, it will just play on my mind, I will just feel worse in
the long run, and things will be harder to get done.
I guess I could make a small start, maybe just 30minutes on it.
END RESULT
THE TRUTH NEW HELPFUL

CONCLUSION
But I can still make a small

I am really tired
start right now and then
rest
10
Procrastination Excuse
THE TRUTH OLD UNHELPFUL
CONCLUSION
ANSWERS TO DISPUTATION QUESTIONS
END RESULT
THE TRUTH NEW HELPFUL

CONCLUSION
11
12
13
14
Trace Back the Pattern
It takes a deliberate effort to recognize and curb any aspect of a general procrasti- By focusing on the point of decision to act and then the actions themselves,
nation pattern. An exercise that allows you to trace back each step of the pattern you might come to break the habit. You can use the initial discomfort as a
can give you a different perspective on understanding and dismantling this catalyst to leapfrog to the decision to act and to the action stage. Skipping
process. In this exercise, you go from the endpoint to the beginning, starting with the preliminary stages of procrastination and getting to the action is a
5 and ending with 1. mental leap, but one that you can profitably practice.
5. At what point do you act to clear up a long-delayed commitment? By putting the procrastination process in reverse, you can accomplish the
(When time is running out?) following:
1. You analyze the process in a different way;

2. You get a different angle on what is happening;
3. You can see that you actually got done what you've put off doing;
4. At what point do you decide to act? (When it is clear that you can 4. You identified the point of decision where you judged that the time had
no longer tolerate the consequences of delay?) come to act.
5. You recognize there is a lot of busywork and distractions that get in the
way and further the delay.
3. How do you lull yourself into complacency so that you further

delay? (Do you tell yourself you have plenty of time?)
2. What do you first tell yourself to start delaying? (Do you tell your-
self you are too tired, not ready, or the activity is a waste of time?)
1. What happens when you are first aware of an urge to procrasti-

nate? (Do you view the activity as tedious, boring, or threatening?)
15
Unhelpful Rules &
Assumptions
WHAT IS THE UNHELPFUL RULE OR ASSUMPTION I WOULD LIKE TO ADJUST ?
- I must be in charge at all times

- Things should be done my way
- I shouldn’t have to do things that I don’t want to
- I shouldn’t have to do things because someone else says so
- If I am not 100% in charge of what I do, then I am weak
WHERE DID THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION COME FROM?
- Messages or sayings I received growing up from either family, others around me, or society (e.g., “you need to be top dog
to get any respect in this world” or “it’s my way or the highway”).
- Past experiences of being dominated by others, and vowing never to be in that same position again.
- Seeing the benefits that people in positions of power received.
IN WHAT WAYS IS THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION UNREASONABLE? UNREALISTIC? UNFAIR? UNHELPFUL?
To get along in society you are going to need to follow someone else’s orders at some point. No matter how high up you
are, there is always going to be someone higher. Give and take is necessary for society to function. We all have to do things
we don’t particularly like doing at certain times, it is a part of life. It is simply not possible to be in control and hold the
power at all times.
WHAT ARE THE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES OF HAVING THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION?
I alienate others, it creates conflict with people around me, I get aggressive, I don’t get promoted because I don’t get along
with others or follow their instructions.
WHAT IS AN ALTERNATIVE MORE HELPFUL (I.E BALANCED, FLEXIBLE, REALISTIC) RULE OR ASSUMPTION?
- I can tolerate doing things I don’t want to

- It is ok to follow other people at times
- Doing things that don’t suit me doesn’t make me weak, but a normal functioning member of society
- Things don’t have to always be my way
WHAT CAN I DO TO PUT THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION INTO PRACTICE ON A DAILY BASIS?
Follow someone else’s orders. Do things I don’t want to. Give some power and control over to someone
else for a change. Don’t be independent and in charge all the time, but instead ask for help at times.
16
Unhelpful Rules &
Assumptions
WHAT IS THE UNHELPFUL RULE OR ASSUMPTION I WOULD LIKE TO ADJUST ?
WHERE DID THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION COME FROM?
IN WHAT WAYS IS THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION UNREASONABLE? UNREALISTIC? UNFAIR? UNHELPFUL?
WHAT ARE THE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES OF HAVING THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION?
WHAT IS AN ALTERNATIVE MORE HELPFUL (I.E BALANCED, FLEXIBLE, REALISTIC) RULE OR ASSUMPTION?
WHAT CAN I DO TO PUT THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION INTO PRACTICE ON A DAILY BASIS?
17
EXAMPLE
Sleep Tracker
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
QUALITY • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
TIME 5 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
6 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
7 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
8 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
9 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
10 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
11 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
0 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
1 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
2 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
3 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
4 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
5 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
6 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
7 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
8 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
9 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
10 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
11 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
12 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
1 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
2 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
3 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
4 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
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Sleep Tracker
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
QUALITY • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
TIME 5 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
6 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
7 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
8 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
9 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
10 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
11 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
0 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
1 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
2 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
3 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
4 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
5 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
6 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
7 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
8 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
9 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
10 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
11 AM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
12 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
1 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
2 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
3 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
4 PM • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
19
EXAMPLE
Encourage Rather Than Criticise

Now that we have dealt with the excuses that lead to procrastination, the other Next time you notice yourself using one of your self-criticisms, ask yourself
type of self-talk that needs to be addressed to overcome procrastination are “How is criticising myself helping me get the job done?” and “What is a more
your self-criticisms. When you criticise yourself for procrastinating, you just motivating way to speak to myself to help me get the job done?”
make it harder for yourself to get on top of things. The more you beat yourself
down, the harder it is going to be to get back up and start doing. You may then say to yourself the more motivational statements you have
come up with, as a way of encouraging yourself to get going and doing. If
Below are some common self-criticisms and the more motivational self-talk that you criticise yourself a lot, it may be helpful to write down your motivational
could be used instead. Notice that what is important about the motivational self-talk on a small card and carry it with you in a wallet or handbag. You
self-talk, is that it separates your behaviour of not getting something done, from won’t be use to talking to yourself in an encouraging way, so you may need
who you are as a person and your personal qualities. these prompts and reminders.
MY SELF-CRITICAL SELF-TALK MY MOTIVATIONAL SELF-TALK
I have to get this done. Suck it up and get going loser! I choose to work on this task. I know I can get it
done if I just focus on one thing at a time.
I should be finished by now. If I can’t even do this I I would prefer to be finished by now. But let’s focus
must be a real idiot! on what I can do to get closer to the finish line.
I choose to work on this task. I know I can get it
I must finish this. Come on stupid...think!
done if I just focus on one thing at a time.
I can’t believe I haven’t started yet. I must Just focus on getting started. Just because I haven’t
be so lazy! started, doesn’t mean anything bad about me.
Common on! Others can get it done faster than this What others do is of no concern. Focusing on what
– I must be a complete moron! I am doing and my task is more helpful.
20
Encourage Rather Than Criticise
Now that we have dealt with the excuses that lead to procrastination, the other Next time you notice yourself using one of your self-criticisms, ask yourself
type of self-talk that needs to be addressed to overcome procrastination are “How is criticising myself helping me get the job done?” and “What is a more
your self-criticisms. When you criticise yourself for procrastinating, you just motivating way to speak to myself to help me get the job done?”
make it harder for yourself to get on top of things. The more you beat yourself
down, the harder it is going to be to get back up and start doing. You may then say to yourself the more motivational statements you have
come up with, as a way of encouraging yourself to get going and doing. If
Below are some common self-criticisms and the more motivational self-talk that you criticise yourself a lot, it may be helpful to write down your motivational
could be used instead. Notice that what is important about the motivational self-talk on a small card and carry it with you in a wallet or handbag. You
self-talk, is that it separates your behaviour of not getting something done, from won’t be use to talking to yourself in an encouraging way, so you may need
who you are as a person and your personal qualities. these prompts and reminders.
MY SELF-CRITICAL SELF-TALK MY MOTIVATIONAL SELF-TALK
21
tracker
22
EXAMPLE

2 - Bad
5 - Excellent
WEEK 1 WEEK 2
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

VM tasks VM tasks



.................................. ..................................
WEEK 3 WEEK 4
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

VM tasks VM tasks



.................................. ..................................
23
2 - Bad
5 - Excellent
WEEK 1 WEEK 2
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

VM tasks VM tasks


.................................. ..................................
WEEK 3 WEEK 4
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

VM tasks VM tasks


.................................. ..................................
24
Weekly Tracker
MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY
5 AM - 6 AM
6 AM - 7 AM
7AM - 8 AM
M ORNI NG
8 AM - 9 AM
9 AM - 10 AM
10 AM - 11 AM
11 AM - 12 AM
12 PM - 1 PM
1 PM - 2 PM
2 PM - 3 PM
AF T E R N OON
3 PM - 4 PM
4 PM - 5 PM
5 PM - 6 PM
6 PM - 7 PM
7 PM - 8 PM
8 PM - 9 PM
E VEN I N G
9 PM - 10 PM
10 PM - 11 PM
11 PM - 12 AM
25
EXAMPLE
Consequences of
Procrastination
POSITIVE CONSEQUENCES NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES
Don't feel overwhelmed anymore Health Issues
Damaged Relationships
Feel better about myself at that Anxiety
moment
HOW DO THESE KEEP ME HOW DO THESE KEEP ME

PROCRASTINATING? PROCRASTINATING?
Don't feel overwhelmed anymore -> Health Issues -> no energy for
feeling even more overwhelmed as critical tasks
the deadline approaches and can't
focus due to subsequent anxiety Damaged relationships ->
daily arguing with my GF distracts
Feel better about myself at that from the important
moment -> hate myself after, and
just can't be bothered to continue Anxiety -> too anxious to start
something new
26
Consequences of
Procrastination
POSITIVE CONSEQUENCES NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES
HOW DO THESE KEEP ME HOW DO THESE KEEP ME

PROCRASTINATING? PROCRASTINATING?
27
Procrastination action plan
TASK OR GOAL:
STEP 1 STEP 2 STEP 3

Being aware & Non-Blaming Adjust Unhelpful Rules & Practice Tolerating Discomfort
At this point, you need to stop and recognize
Assumptions Recognize the discomfort in doing the tasks
that procrastination is there. You shouldn't You need to recognize the unhelpful rule or related to your goal, internalize and observe
judge or blame yourself for that. Just assumption that is being triggered here. it. Watch the discomfort without judgement,
recognize the urge to procrastinate and Then, ask yourself the following: making space for it and hence letting it go
consciously decide you're going to do things when it’s ready. You can imagine riding the
differently now. - Where did it come from? wave of your discomfort until it's not there
- Is it reasonable and realistic? Fair? anymore.
- What are the negative consequences of it?
Then, come up with a more helpful rule or
Then, come up with a more helpful rule or assumption.
assumption.

Reflect & Revise Carry Out Practical Strategies Dismiss Procrastination Excuses
Step back and examine how things are To gain clarity as to what needs to be & Encourage
going. Write down what has been going accomplished, write down all the tasks and Identify your old unhelpful conclusions and
well and the consequences of executing goals, and then prioritize these. Then grade excuses to justify your procrastination. Ask
rather than procrastinating. Also recognize each, and then accurately estimate how long yourself the following:
the areas of improvement. Revisit steps 1-5 each task will take. Then, approach the tasks - What is the evidence behind it? What are the
if needed. using one of the techniques: worst-first, just 5 reasons?
minutes, unschedule. - Am I going to be better off?
- What will the consequences be?
Then, settle on a conclusion that is more helpful
to you (like, for example, something small that
you can start now), dropping any self-criticism
and talking to yourself as if you were your
motivating and encouraging friend.
28
EXAMPLE

TASK OR GOAL: Write an article for this online magazine

Assumptions
Oh, the urge to procrastinate just appeared. I The unhelpful rule of mine is: when I have no Instead of telling myself I'm sick of feeling tired,
consciously choose not to let this get the better motivation, I do a terrible job. This comes from my bored, and angry, I am just aware of the
of me. I will focus on what I can do about it. No childhood. I never succeeded doing things that I sensations and feelings in my body. There is the
need to beat myself up. didn't put effort into. This is NOT reasonable as I feeling of frustration and boredom. Oh, here's
won't get anything done if I put in work ONLY the anger. Hey, anger. I feel it in my body (my
when I have motivation. An adjusted rule: even chest, jaw), and make space for it allowing it to
when I don't feel motivated, I can have at least be. I know it's just temporary, and all I have to
some quality work done. To put this in practice, do is allow it to go when it's ready.
I'm gonna have to internalize that emotions
follow actions, and do a small task at hand to see
if my motivation improves afterwards.

I recognize it's been working out pretty well. I've just graded the tasks for my writing & Encourage
Half of the article is done, and I feel great. One assignment, and 'unscheduled', so now I have Old unhelpful excuse: watching this cat video
thing to change is to schedule more time in the time available to work on the task. If I am really will get me in the flow. It will free me up to
morning for writing. I am grateful. struggling to get started, I tell myself I'll just think clearer and write better.
work on it for 5 minutes, and then see if I can do
more. New helpful conclusion: this cat video is just not
important, and will not affect my writing
capabilities in any way. I am doing it now.
29
TASK OR GOAL:

Assumptions

& Encourage
30
Self-Esteem Journal
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday
I felt good about myself I showed myself compassion when 3 good things about me Today I achieved
Friday Saturday Sunday

Something did for somebody What went well today I am worthy of love because
31
tracker
32
EXAMPLE

2 - Bad
5 - Excellent
WEEK 1 WEEK 2
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

VM tasks VM tasks



.................................. ..................................
WEEK 3 WEEK 4
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

VM tasks VM tasks



.................................. ..................................
33
2 - Bad
5 - Excellent
WEEK 1 WEEK 2
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

VM tasks VM tasks


.................................. ..................................
WEEK 3 WEEK 4
DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 DAY 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

VM tasks VM tasks


.................................. ..................................
34
Weekly planner JAN FEB MAR APR MAY JUN
JUL AUG SEPT OCT NOV DEC
EXAMPLE
To do Schedule Notes
1. Work on the eCommerce project (3x a week)
MONDAY This is the WEEK to start the
2. Grocery shopping and tidying 1. Work on the eCommerce project eCommerce project. Let's do this.
5. Read a book (at least 3 times a week)
3. Pay the bills
Start arranging a get together for my friends TUESDAY
Read a book (at least 3 times a week) 2. Grocery shopping and tidying
Apply for that finance position I saw
Call grandma for her birthday
WEDNESDAY
Study for the exam 1. Work on the eCommerce project
5. Read a book
THURSDAY
3. Pay the bills

HABITS M T W T F S S
FRIDAY 6 glasses of
water + lemon
5. Read a book
Regular sleep
6. Apply for that finance position I saw cycle
No food
SATURDAY after 6PM
7. Call grandma for her birthday Supplements
taken
8. Study for the exam
Expenses tracked
SUNDAY
1. Work on the eCommerce project

29
35
Weekly planner JAN FEB MAR APR MAY JUN
JUL AUG SEPT OCT NOV DEC
To do Schedule Notes
MONDAY
1.
2.
3.
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY
HABITS M T W T F S S
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
30
36
EXAMPLE
Habit Tracker
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
No phones or screens after 8PM + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Regular sleep cycle - 10PM to bed,

5:45AM to wake up. + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Meditation 20mins + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Reading 20mins + + + + + + + + +
Journaling & being thankful + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
Exercise (at least 20min, 3 times

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
a week)
37
Habit Tracker
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
38
Self-esteem
1.Before we go further, take a few minutes to write a short description of yourself.
How did you describe yourself? What words did you use? Is your description of yourself generally
positive, balanced, or negative? What value did you place on yourself or aspects of yourself? Is
that value positive, balanced, or negative?
2. Based on what has been described about low self-esteem, do you think you are
experiencing this problem? Have you often had negative thoughts about yourself
but had not included them in the previous description of yourself? Perhaps you
might like to jot them down now.
3. If you have problems with low self-esteem, take a few minutes to write down
how having low self-esteem has affected your life.
39
Self-esteem
What early experiences did you have that might have contributed to the way you
view, and feel about, yourself? Take some time to write down a brief description
of those experiences.
Have you had any recent stressful life experiences that have negatively affected
how you view yourself?
40
The self-esteem model
This model represents a summary of the material we
covered so far. Low self-esteem could stem from negative
life experiences, particularly throughout childhood and
adolescence.
Negative Life These negative experiences can have an impact on how

experiences we see ourselves, and we may form unfavorable core
beliefs about ourselves as a result of them. (The dotted
arrow in the diagram indicates that unpleasant life
experiences do not always lead to negative core beliefs;
rather, they play a role in their formation.) We construct
norms and assumptions for living in order to protect our
self-esteem and continue to function on a daily basis.
Negative Core
Beliefs about These rules lead us to act in ways that aren't particularly
Yourself beneficial because they serve to maintain our negative
basic beliefs. While we can feel good about ourselves if
we follow these principles for living, our low
self-esteem remains dormant.
Here is a worksheet for you to put all your notes together.
This worksheet provides sections for you to put down your
experiences, negative core beliefs, unhelpful life rules and
Unhelpful Unhelpful Rules assumptions, and the activities you do to try to live up to
Behaviour & Assumptions those rules and assumptions. As you progress through the
modules in this information package, keep this worksheet
with you.
41
EXAMPLE
Low Self-Esteem: How it Begins

Negative Life Experiences
Events, relationships, situations Not fitting in at school, bullying
that may have influenced your
view of yourself
Negative Core Beliefs

Evaluation of worth/value as a
People feel awkward being around me
person; conclusions about yourself
based on experience - this is the
kind of person I am
Unhelpful Behaviour Unhelpful Rules & Assumption

The things I do to try to live up Guidelines, rules, or stategies for
to my rules and assumptions getting by, given the truth of the
negative core beliefs about myself
I skip social gatherings
I can't meet new people or make friends
42
Low Self-Esteem: How it Begins
Negative Life Experiences
Events, relationships, situations
that may have influenced your
view of yourself
Negative Core Beliefs

Evaluation of worth/value as a
person; conclusions about yourself
based on experience - this is the
kind of person I am
Unhelpful Behaviour Unhelpful Rules & Assumption

The things I do to try to live up Guidelines, rules, or stategies for
to my rules and assumptions getting by, given the truth of the
negative core beliefs about myself
43
Model of Low Self-Esteem:
The Full Model
Let’s put what we’ve learned from the last few days together and get it clear in our
minds how low-self-esteem develops and is maintained. Here is the full model:
Negative Life Negative Core Beliefs Unhelpful Rules &

Experiences about yourself Assumptions
Unhelpful Behaviour
(Dormant Low Self-Esteem)
At-Risk Situations
Situations in which unhelpful rules & assumptions are
under threat of being broken or are broken
Activation of Negative Core Beliefs
Biased Expectations Negative Self-Evaluations

Thinking that things Self-critical thoughts
will turn out badly
Unhelpful Behaviour Unhelpful Behaviour

Avoidance, safety Withdrawal, neglecting
precautions, escape self-care
Unhelpful Emotions
Confirmation of Negative Core Beliefs
(Acute Low Self-Esteem)
44
Model of Low Self-Esteem:
The Full Model
This first section of the model demonstrates that poor self-esteem can stem
from negative life experiences that influence how we see and value ourselves
or portions of ourselves. If we have negative core beliefs about ourselves and
see ourselves in a negative way, we are likely to have made some negative
inferences about ourselves. We construct norms and assumptions for living in
order to protect our self-esteem and continue to function on a daily basis.
These rules encourage us to act in ways that are ultimately detrimental since
they serve to maintain our negative core beliefs. While we can feel good about
ourselves if we follow these principles for living, our low self-esteem remains
dormant.
The second part of this model demonstrates that we will face at-risk scenarios
at some point in our life because it is incredibly difficult to live according to our
unrealistic and rigid norms and assumptions. When these rules are about to be
broken or have already been breached, our negative fundamental beliefs are
engaged, and we start thinking negatively. We either expect things to fail
(biased expectations) or we criticize and blame ourselves (negative
self-evaluations). We also participate in unhelpful behaviors, which, when
combined with unhelpful thinking, result in unpleasant unhelpful feelings and
the activation of our negative core beliefs. Low self-esteem becomes acute at
this point.
45
EXAMPLE
Thought Diary for Biased Expectations

Identify Your Biased Expectations
What is the at-risk situation? How much do I believe it will happen
Friends invite me to be on their quiz team 0-100%)?
What am I expecting? What am I predicting? What do I see happening in this 80%

situation? What conclusions am I jumping to?
What emotion(s) am I feeling? (Rate the

I’ll be no good; I will make them lose; intensity 0-100%)
Everyone will see how dump I am;
The others will wish I wasn’t on their team Anxious (70%)
Challenge Your Biased Expectations

What is the evidence for my expectations? What is the evidence against my expectations?
There are times I don’t know the answers to other people’s I have had expderiences where I have known things that
questions other people haven’t
How likely is it that what I am expecting will actually happen (0-100%)?
What is the worst that could happen? What is the best that could happen?
I won’t answer a single question correctly, we will lose, I will know the answers to most questions, and because of
and my team mates won’t talk to me for the rest of the me our team will win
night
What is the most likely thing that will happen? How does it affect me if I expect the worst?
I will be able to answer some questions, and our Expecting it will be a disaster just makes me feel anxious
team will do OK and likely not go to something that is supposed to be fun
If the worst did happen, what could I do to cope?
If I couldn’t answer anything, I could make a joke of it to the others. They probably wouldn’t notice or care that much - they
are my friends after all. I’d feel a bit bad, but I probably wouldn’t remember it in a couple of week’s time.
How else could I view the situation?
It’s just a quiz night. It’s supposed to be for fun. They probably invited people for their company and to have fun, rather than
their intellectual abilities. They probably don’t take it that seriously. Quiz nights are suppose to be tricky - they may ask
questions that are in areas I know little about. That doesn’t mean that I am dumb or know nothing.
Are there any positives in me or the situation I am ignoring?

It’s a team effort. If we lose, it isn’t just one person’s fault. I am good at music and science questions, so it is likely I might
know some of the answers to those types of questions.
Develop Realistic Expectations

What’s a more realistic expectation?
I don’t have to be really good - it’s just a quiz night. They are my friends, they are just there to have fun and don’t really care
about winning or who answers what. It is likely that I will be able to answer some questions that are in my area of interet.
How I do at a quiz night isn’t a reflection of who I am as a person - everyone has their strengths and weakness.
How much do I believe my original biased expectation now How intense are my emotions now (0-100%)?
(0-100%)?
30% 20%
46
Thought Diary for Biased Expectations
Identify Your Biased Expectations
What is the at-risk situation? How much do I believe it will happen
0-100%)?
What am I expecting? What am I predicting? What do I see happening in this

situation? What conclusions am I jumping to?

intensity 0-100%)
Challenge Your Biased Expectations

What is the evidence for my expectations? What is the evidence against my expectations?
How likely is it that what I am expecting will actually happen (0-100%)?
What is the worst that could happen? What is the best that could happen?
What is the most likely thing that will happen? How does it affect me if I expect the worst?
If the worst did happen, what could I do to cope?
How else could I view the situation?
Are there any positives in me or the situation I am ignoring?
Develop Realistic Expectations

What’s a more realistic expectation?
How much do I believe my original biased expectation now How intense are my emotions now (0-100%)?
(0-100%)?
47
EXAMPLE
Thought Diary for Negative Self-Evaluations

Identify Your Negative Self-Evaluations
What is the at-risk situation? How much do I believe these evaluations
Cancelled dinner with a friend due to work commitments of myself (0-100%)?
85%
What am I saying to myself? How am I evaluating myself? Putting myself down?
Criticising myself?
I am a useless and pathetic friend; I don’t deserve to have friends; I shouldn’t let
other people down; I am always being selfish; They are better off without a friend What emotion(s) am I feeling? (Rate the
like me. intensity 0-100%)
Guilt (90%); Depressed (70%)
What unhelpful behaviours did I engage in?

I apologised profusely to my friend and said that I had been a really pathetic friend to her. I also said that I would pay for our
next outting and re-scheduled to a time that wasn’t quite convenient for me.
Challenge Your Negative Self Evaluations

What is the evidence for my evaluations? What is the evidence against my evaluations?
I disappointed a friend by cancelling our dinner. I only cancelled for a very good reason. If I could have made
This is not the first time I have dissapointed a friend. it to dinner, I would have. Most of the time I am very conside-
rate with all my friends.
Are these opinions I have of myself or facts? It’s probably an opinion, not a fact.
How helpful is it for me to evaluate myself in this way?

It is pretty unfair to beat myself up for something that was mostly beyond my control. It just makes me feel really bad and like
I have to overcompensate for being a “bad firend”.
How else could I view the situation? What are other perspectives are there?
Things will often interfere with plans we make, it is a fact of life. It happens to everyone. Cancelling dinner with a friend due to
work commitments doesn’t make me a bad friend. You can’t please everyone all the time - that’s impossible. If the tables were
turned and my friend did this to me, I wouldn’t think badly of them. As long as I show I care and want to still go out with them,
then I am being a good friend.
What advice would I give to a friend in this same situation?

If they are a real friend, they will understand and get over it. They won’t think badly. If they are dissappointed it is probably
because they think you are a good friend and want to spend time with you. Being dissappointed about not spending time
with you doesn’t mean they think you are a bad friend, or are upset with you as a person.
What would be more helpful behaviour I could carry out?

Instead of being overly apologetic and overly keen to make it up, I can just explain the circumstances, apologise once or
even twice, and re-schedule our plans for a time that suits us both. I don’t have to grovel or bend over backwards to prove
I am a good friend.
Balanced Self-Evaluations
A more balanced evaluation of myself is:
I am being the best friend I can be under the circumstances My friends have told me they value me, that must mean I am a
good friend. I am generally considerate to my friends and never set out to hurt people. Disappointing this friend was beyond
my control. Unfortunately, you can’t make everyone happy all the time.
How much do I believe my original negative self-evaluation How intense are my emotions now (0-100%)?
now (0-100%)?
35% Guilt (45%); Depression (20%)
48
Thought Diary for Negative Self-Evaluations
Identify Your Negative Self-Evaluations
What is the at-risk situation? How much do I believe these evaluations
of myself (0-100%)?
What am I saying to myself? How am I evaluating myself? Putting myself down?

Criticising myself?

intensity 0-100%)
What unhelpful behaviours did I engage in?
Challenge Your Negative Self Evaluations

What is the evidence for my evaluations? What is the evidence against my evaluations?
Are these opinions I have of myself or facts?
How helpful is it for me to evaluate myself in this way?
How else could I view the situation? What are other perspectives are there?
What advice would I give to a friend in this same situation?
What would be more helpful behaviour I could carry out?
Balanced Self-Evaluations
A more balanced evaluation of myself is:
How much do I believe my original negative self-evaluation How intense are my emotions now (0-100%)?
now (0-100%)?
49
Positive Qualities Record
To help you make a list of your positive qualities, ask yourself the following questions:
• What do I like about who I am?

• What characteristics do I have that are positive?
• What are some of my achievements?
• What are some skills or talents that I have?
• What do others say they like about me?
• What are some attributes I like in others that I also have in common with?
• If someone shared my identical characteristics, what would I admire in them?
• How might someone who cared about me describe me?
• What do I think are bad qualities? What bad qualities do I not have?
*Remember to include everything no matter how small, insignificant, modest,

or unimportant you think they are
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
50
Positive You Journal
1. For each day of the week, think of 3 examples of positive qualities that you have shown
during the day
2. Write the day and date, what you had done during the day, and what positive qualities
your actions demonstrate
eg. Spent time working on my budget (Organised)
eg. Sitting by the river (Ability to appreciate beauty)
DAY/DATE WHAT YOU DID DURING THE DAY POSITIVE QUALITIES SLOWN
51
EXAMPLE
Adjusting the Rules

Rule and / or assumption I would like to adjust
I must do whatever it takes to stay slim, or else I will never have any friends
What impact has this rule (and / or assumption) had on my life?
I put myself under a lot of pressure to stay slim. I use extreme measures to get rid of
the food I eat and to burn the fat away. I’m always thinking and worrying about my
weight and body. Sometimes I get so sick of it.
How do I know this rule is in operation?
Whenever I eat, I feel guilty. I think, “I should not eat this. It will make me fat!”. If I
happen to have eaten a big meal, I will use laxatives to get rid of the food.
Where did this rule (and / or assumption) come from?
My mother always said I was a fat kid and had to lose weight. Kids at school used to
call me “fat-face” and “whale”. My mother made me go on all sorts of diets.
In what ways is this (and / or assumption) unreasonable?
When I say to myself, “I must do whatever it takes...”. I am being inflexible and

unreasonable. It drives me to use extreme measures that might not be healthy. I don’t
think a lot of people go to such extreme measures to lose weight or stay slim.
Nowadays people talk more about eating a balanced diet and staying healthy. I look
around and I see a lot of overweight people who have friends.
52
EXAMPLE
Advantages of this Rule Disadvantages of this Rule
It makes me conscious of my weight It puts a lot of pressure on me. I am

and my appearance. A lot of people always conscious of my weight and
say that I look very good and my food intake. I can’t be like some
have a nice body. of my friends who don’t seem like I’m
so superficial that I only care about my
weight and appearance.
What is an alternative rule (and / or assumption) that is more balanced and flexible?
I enjoy being slim and wearing nice clothes. However, it’s more helpful if I think about
trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Also, it is unlikely that my friends only like me
because I am slim.
What can I do to put this rule (and / or assumption) into practice on a daily basis?
Check out what healthy portions are and eat that without using laxatives after. Exercise
regularly rather than vigorously. Ask my closest friends what it is that they like
about me.
53
Adjusting the Rules
Rule and / or assumption I would like to adjust
What impact has this rule (and / or assumption) had on my life?
How do I know this rule is in operation?
Where did this rule (and / or assumption) come from?
In what ways is this (and / or assumption) unreasonable?
54
Advantages of this Rule Disadvantages of this Rule
What is an alternative rule (and / or assumption) that is more balanced and flexible?
What can I do to put this rule (and / or assumption) into practice on a daily basis?
55
Self-Management Plan
What are the early warning signs that tell me that I might be heading for a setback and need to do
something about it myself? eg. I am more depressed or anxious OR I am more critical of myself OR I am
expecting the worst more often OR I am avoiding or withdrawing from things.
What are some of my biased expectations, negative self-evaluations, unhelpful behaviours, unhelpful rules
or assumptions, and negative core beliefs I need to watch out for?
If I do experience a setback, what will I do about it?
What are my future support options? Eg. friends, family, GP, other, etc.
What strategies / techniques have I found most helpful and need to continue to Practice?
How can I build on what I have learned in this information the last 7 days?
56

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Let the journey begin!

HOW TO TRACK YOUR PROGRESS: 1 - Extremely poor

Completed all daily Completed all daily

Set a clear daily Set a clear daily

Finished all my Finished all my

READ A BOOK READ A BOOK

DAILY RESULT DAILY RESULT

Completed all daily Completed all daily

Set a clear daily Set a clear daily

Finished all my Finished all my

READ A BOOK READ A BOOK

DAILY RESULT DAILY RESULT

HOW DID YOU DO THIS MONTH? Your total month score:

0-199 You are on the right path!

200-399 You are doing great. Keep it up!

400-599 Almost there! You can do it.

600+ This is outstanding progress. Don’t stop now!

Completed all daily Completed all daily

Set a clear daily Set a clear daily

Finished all my Finished all my

DAILY RESULT DAILY RESULT

Completed all daily Completed all daily

Set a clear daily Set a clear daily

Finished all my Finished all my

DAILY RESULT DAILY RESULT

HOW DID YOU DO THIS MONTH? Your total month score:

0-199 You are on the right path!

200-399 You are doing great. Keep it up!

400-599 Almost there! You can do it.

600+ This is outstanding progress. Don’t stop now!

FINANCIAL SOCIAL, FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

SELF-DEVELOPMENT DECISION MAKING

Most important tasks/goals I would like to work on:

1. New eCommerce project

2. Childhood issues with my dad affecting my current relationships

3. Personal income: $100k to $200k per annum

FINANCIAL SOCIAL, FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

SELF-DEVELOPMENT DECISION MAKING

Most important tasks/goals I would like to work on:

I am really tired I am better off doing

ANSWERS TO DISPUTATION QUESTIONS

It is true I am tired right now and things will be more of an effort.

THE TRUTH NEW HELPFUL

But I can still make a small

ANSWERS TO DISPUTATION QUESTIONS

THE TRUTH NEW HELPFUL

1. You analyze the process in a different way;

3. How do you lull yourself into complacency so that you further

1. What happens when you are first aware of an urge to procrasti-

- I must be in charge at all times

WHERE DID THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION COME FROM?

IN WHAT WAYS IS THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION UNREASONABLE? UNREALISTIC? UNFAIR? UNHELPFUL?

WHAT ARE THE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES OF HAVING THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION?

- I can tolerate doing things I don’t want to

WHERE DID THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION COME FROM?

IN WHAT WAYS IS THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION UNREASONABLE? UNREALISTIC? UNFAIR? UNHELPFUL?

WHAT ARE THE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES OF HAVING THIS RULE OR ASSUMPTION?

Encourage Rather Than Criticise

MY SELF-CRITICAL SELF-TALK MY MOTIVATIONAL SELF-TALK