1.

Self-Awareness GC Seminar Lacks

2. Day 1: Self-Image & Self Esteem
3. Self-Awareness • This topic deals with ways to look at how we feel about
ourselves, the important of high self-esteem to being effective and successful, and
ways to develop positive self-esteem • “Resolve to be thyself, and know that they
who find themselves lose their misery.” Matthew Arnold
4. Self-Awareness • The single major factor determining or limiting your success
and happiness is your self-image, your self-esteem • The word esteem means “to
appreciate the value of” • Your self-image will determine your sensitivity to the
needs of others, your ability to solve problems, your ability to handle
responsibility, and your judgment
5. Self-Awareness • When you have a positive self-image, you have a lot of self-
confidence • Self-confidence is built on your experiences from early childhood on
• Some people undermine their own self-confidence and suffer from poor self-
concept by dwelling on the negatives of the past rather than the positives
6. Self-Awareness • Growing up confident and self-assured is not an easy or natural
thing • You can change your own self-image!
7. Problems of Poor Self-Image • A poor self-image can work against you in two
ways: • A poor self image keeps you from learning how to succeed. (When you
don’t believe that you can do something you will never allow yourself to learn
how, or be comfortable with the way you do it.) • A poor self-image prevents you
from liking and respecting yourself. (When you don’t particularly like yourself, you
communicate it to those around you and keep yourself from making friends,
fitting into groups, developing leadership skills, or even just having fun.)
8. Ingredients For A Positive Self-Image
9. Ingredients for Positive Self-Image • There are seven areas in which we need
competence in order to be positive, self-reliant people. They include: • 1.
Identification with real role models.(What are qualities you look for in a role
model?) • 2. Identification with and respect for “family” processes.(Family, in this
case, can mean your immediate family, or more broadly, an organization or a
group in which you belong.)
10. Ingredients for Positive Self-Image The consequences of your actions affect not
only you, but others. Develop a sense of social responsibility.
11. Ingredients for Positive Self-Image • 3. Faith in personal resources to solve
problems.(To become a self-confident person, you must develop the ability and
attitude that will allow you to work through problems and believe that they can be
solved by applying your own personal resources. Dependent people don’t learn
how to do this and believe that solutions are purely chance. They believe nothing
can be done about the present or future except to accept it.)
12. Ingredients for Positive Self-Image • 4. Development of intrapersonal skills.(You
can use intrapersonal skills to communicate with yourself. These skills include the
ability to recognize and understand your own feelings, self-discipline, self-control,
 and self-assessment. They are important to setting realistic goals and achieving
them.)
13. Ingredients for Positive Self-Image • 5. Development of interpersonal skills.
(Interpersonal skills can be as basic as being able to start and carry on a
conversation, but also include the ability to share ideas and feelings and be
sensitive to the feelings and needs of others, the ability to listen and respond, and
the skills to cooperate, negotiate, and share.)
14. Ingredients for Positive Self-Image • 6. Situational skills(Situational skills are
those skills that help you determine what kind of a situation you are in and how
best to respond to it. When you learn to look at a situation, decide what behavior
best fits the situation according to the results you wish, and then adapt to the
situation, you are showing your maturity.)
15. Ingredients for Positive Self-Image • 7. Judgmental skills.(These skills involve the
ability to recognize, understand, and apply good judgment in your environment.
In many areas, poor judgment is obvious, such as when you become so obsessed
with a sport that it begins to interfere with other activities such as your studies
and responsibilities at home. You must learn to judge the consequences of things
so that you can choose the most successful path for yourself.)
16. Ingredients for Positive Self-Image • Liking yourself and being proud of your
accomplishments and talents doesn’t make you egotistical. • To be the best you
can be you must recognize your own uniqueness and develop your special
qualities and persoanl standards
17. Write down at least two things you are insecure about.
18. What does this insecurity stop you from doing?
19. In what ways do you broadcast this insecurity?
20. What were things other people were insecure about?
21. Did you find many of these insecurities valid?
22. Do you think your insecurity is valid?
23. Last Questions • How can you stop broadcasting it? • How can you logically
overcome this insecurity?
24. Tips for Building Self-Esteem
25. Tips for Building Self-Esteem • 1. Dress and look your best at all times. No
matter what your friends and peers may say, personal grooming provides visible
evidence of how you feel about yourself. • 2. Take inventory of your reasons for
self-esteem today. Write down: what your blessings are, who and what you are
thankful for, what you have done that you are proud of, what your goals are.
26. Tips for Building Self-Esteem • 3. Set your own internal standards. Learn to
accept yourself as you are now, but set your own standards for personal
improvement in lifestyle, participation in school, accomplishments, relationships.
Associate with winners. Do not associate with people who are negative, or bring
you down.
27. Tips for Building Self-Esteem • 4. Volunteer your name first. Whenever you
speak on the phone or meet someone new, giving your name first shows you
value your name and yourself as an individual. • 5. Always respond with “thank
you.” Whenever anyone pays you a compliment of any kind, accept it graciously
without adding anything to make yourself seem unworthy.
28. Tips for Building Self-Esteem • 6. Use encouraging, affirmative language.
Whenever you speak about yourself, use positive, constructive descriptions.
Remember, everything you say about yourself is subconsciously recorded by
yourself and others. • 7. Create your own horoscope. Don’t feel trapped into
repeating patterns you don’t like. List positive alternatives to habits that you
seriously want to change.
29. Tips for Building Self-Esteem • 8. Look people in the eyes. Direct eye contact is
one of the most important non-verbal dictators of self-confidence. (practice) • 9.
Keep an ongoing self-development plan. Write down what you’ll have to learn and
what behavior you’ll have to change in order to become the person you wish to
be.
30. Tips for Building Self-Esteem • 10. Smile! Everyone responds to a smile. It tells us
that this is a person who is happy, caring, and sharing.
31. Day 2: Anxiety, Motivation, & Goal Setting
32. Getting Rid of Negative Beliefs
33. Getting Rid of Negative Beliefs • Take a minute now and think of your negative
programming. • That you cannot be happy because ____________________? • That
you cannot enjoy life fully because ____________________? • That you are not
__________________? • What other beliefs are you holding back?
34. Getting Rid of Negative Beliefs • If you stop and think about them, you will
become more aware of your beliefs, and you will discover the ways your beliefs
sometimes keep you from fully enjoying yourself everyday. • Each time that
happens, ask yourself if its worth holding on to that belief?
35. Personal Feelings • Self-awareness means more than presenting a good image
and feeling good about yourself. • It means looking honestly at your inner self and
learning to deal with your feelings and situations
36. Personal Feelings • We all experience hundreds of different feelings each day
and we may feel differently about the same thing at different times • Many
feelings are neither good nor bad, just part of who you are: how you feel about
your parents, your friends, are all personal reactions that change continually
37. Personal Feelings • The important thing is not how you are feeling, but how you
choose to respond to it. • We must find ways to deal with our feelings so that they
don’t control us.
38. Steps for Handling Feelings • 1. Be aware of your feelings. Try to discover their
meaning. Try to define the feeling in one word (calm, bitter, defensive, frightened,
lonely, guilty, embarrassed, angry, etc.)
39. Steps for Handling Feelings • 2. Don’t allow your feelings to control you. Feelings
are really reactions you choose to have. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can
make you feel inferior without your consent.” This applies to most feelings we
have in reaction to others. If you feel that you just can’t handle something,
remember that you can look for other ways to deal with any situation rather than
simply accepting feeling angry, frustrated, etc.
40. Steps for Handling Feelings • 3. Express your feelings. Learning to control your
feelings doesn’t mean bottling them up. It means learning to express them in a
constructive way. Talk about your feelings. They are normal and they won’t last
forever.
41. Comfort Zones • We all live in an area called the comfort zone • A comfort zone is
a state of mind made up of the actions and behaviors you are comfortable
performing, and results you are comfortable achieving.
42. Comfort Zones • When we do something new, we push against the parameters of
our comfort zone • We might feel uncomfortable • If we do the new thing often
enough, we overcome the fear, and our comfort zone expands • If we back off and
honor our “need” to be comfortable, our comfort zone shrinks
43. Comfort Zones • When you expand your comfort zone in one area, it carries over
to other areas as well • When you succeed at something, your confidence and self-
esteem increase, and you take that confidence and self-esteem into other
endeavors
44. Insecurities & Nervousness • Insecurities and nervousness are emotions that
can be described as little caution flags that come up as we encounter risky
circumstances in life.
45. Insecurities & Nervousness • These feelings become a problem when they are
there all the time or when their presence prevents us from enjoying the
challenges and risks of life. • Risks, like roller coasters, can be enjoyed. • Insecurity
and nervousness must be controlled when the emotions rob you of the joy, limit
your performance, or limit your willingness to participate at all.
46. Controlling & Overcoming Insecurities & Nervousness • Nervousness and
insecurities are like our minds tricking us into thinking there is danger when there
isn't. This gives us tremendous control over our insecurities. • Instead of thinking
'what if?' we learn to think 'So what!'
47. How do I do this? • Work on your ideas for building a positive self-image!
48. Controlling & Overcoming Insecurities & Nervousness • If this isn't enough,
then pull your calendar out and build a task list. • List all of life's normal things
that make you feel nervous or insecure...and do them! • Do them regularly and
repeatedly. The bigger the insecurity, the more you have to confront it. • This will
build your self-esteem like nothing else.
49. The worst insecurity & nervousness… anxiety • What is anxiety?
50. Overcoming Anxiety • 1. Stay in the present moment
51. Overcoming Anxiety • 2. Ground Control to Major Tom • What are the messages
that you give yourself? • Observe the dialogue you have with yourself and the
movies you play in your head, and you may be amazed. Your mind generates
random and often irrelevant thoughts that you can follow for hours on end in
concentric circles. • Follow your worry string sometime and be amazed at your
mind's ability to invent anxiety-inducing scenarios.
52. Overcoming Anxiety • 3. Visualize positive scenarios. • This is not easy, but you
have some rewiring to do. Think of it as counterbalancing all of the negative
outcomes you've been visualizing for years. Challenge yourself to think of every
possible thing that could go right. Get specific, be creative and enjoy yourself.
Have some fun with this: Go overboard!
53. Overcoming Anxiety • 4. Pay attention to your feelings • You know those
moments when you feel that you just can't take it anymore and you absolutely
must escape in some fashion? We all have them. • Your body is trying to
communicate with you at these times, and if you are present in your body, you'll
know that you need to pay attention. • What sequence of events has brought you
to this point? Is it a feeling of powerlessness? Should you be speaking up for
yourself and you are not? It's inevitably not a good feeling that you're having, but
running away from it will not make it go away. • Anxiety is simply another way that
your body tries to communicate with you. After years of you squelching your
feelings, your body has had to up the ante to grab your notice.
54. Overcoming Anxiety • Pay attention to what it is that your body is trying to tell
you and it'll be able to tone the message down. • Never feel good in the presence
of your boyfriend? Guess what? Wrong boyfriend! • If you stifle a feeling over and
over again, you will re-experience that feeling at higher and higher levels of
distress until you finally "get it." • These moments are incredibly powerful teaching
moments if you can tame your desire to get away at all costs and instead, pay
attention.
55. Overcoming Anxiety • 5. Lay off the television • The thousands of heartwarming
events occurring every day around you are not going to make the news while the
stories that distress, frighten and incite do. • Make it your job to focus on the
stories that don't make the news. From casual interactions at the grocery store or
gas station to your interactions with your co-workers, focus on the positives. Even
better, create a few more of these events yourself. Choose to give one genuine
smile to someone who looks like he could use it and begin to change your own
and others' perceptions of the world as an unkind place.
56. Overcoming Anxiety • 6. Let go of blame • We're all familiar with this self-
defeating line of thinking. It goes something like this: "If only my
husband/wife/mother/father/child would do x, y or z, then I would be able to stop
worrying." • Your husband/wife/mother/father/child is not going to do x, y or z,
not now, not tomorrow and not the day after, though you could waste your entire
life waiting for it to happen. • You will never be able to control anyone's behavior
but your own. This line of thinking is really a convenient way for us to avoid taking
responsibility for ourselves.
57. Overcoming Anxiety • 7. Take responsibility • On the plus side, you are able to
control your own behavior! You cannot change anyone else but you can change
yourself. • If you want to improve your life in any way-including lessening your
anxiety-you have to take responsibility for your life first. • Do not give your power
away to anyone else, whether it is a doctor or a guru. • We are all much more
capable than we make ourselves out to be of wresting control of our own
emotional states and improving them.
58. Overcoming Anxiety • 8. Be compassionate with yourself • You won't change old
habits overnight. You've been worrying for a long time, and it is your brain's
fallback response. • Be patient with yourself, and know that just because you don’t
feel better right away, doesn’t mean you won’t eventually
59. Overcoming Anxiety • 9. Celebrate • Just as you need to shift your focus from the
tragedies of the world to its finer points, you need to shift the focus from what is
wrong to what is right in your own life. • You must discipline yourself to see the
many good things in your life even in the midst of the bleak. • You need to
discover things that enable you to lift your own spirits. What you focus on is what
your life becomes, so focus on what there is to celebrate. There is always
something!
60. Overcoming Anxiety • 10. Practice • Again, you've been doing things the old way-
the worried way-for a long time, and it won't be easy to unlearn these habits. •
The point is, you need to create new pathways, you need to train your brain to
process differently. Odds are you've been worrying since childhood: That's a lot of
undoing to be done.
61. Self-Awareness Recap: What are we working on to better ourselves?
62. What we’re working on in our personal lives… • Being more self-aware
(understanding yourself and how others perceive you) • Being more aware of our
feelings, and why we feel a certain way today • Being aware of our insecurities,
and getting rid of negative beliefs about ourselves • Pushing against our comfort
boundaries, and trying new things that might make us happy and motivated •
Being more positive by being aware of our thoughts and statements, and by
surrounding ourselves with positive people • Living in the present, and being
responsible for our own actions and decisions • Working on our relaxed face, and
being more conscientious of our actions towards others
63. Achieving Personal Mastery
64. ______________ deeply understands his or her own strengths and weaknesses
65. What to do… • Constantly monitor your own performance, and make notes on
those areas you excel in, you need improvement in, and processes you might help
streamline or improve • Think and act positively when mistakes occur • Realize
that failures and mistakes are just one step on the road to success
66. What to do… • Recognize that being aware of the impact that your behavior has
on other people is a critical managerial skill • Have the capacity to encourage and
stay open to feedback is essential to the improvement of your managerial skills •
 Know that the feedback you ask for is generally of a higher quality and easier to
receive than if unsolicited – so ask often
67. What to do… • Understand that when criticism is difficult to accept, there is
probably some truth to it • Recognize that providing feedback is difficult for both
the giver and the receiver • Don’t take criticism seriously; its an opportunity for
growth
68. How to do it… • Learn to give yourself and others credit for improving • Adopt a
“can-do” attitude, take a break from the problem, and come back later with a fresh
perspective • Don’t hesitate to ask for help or advice • Be aware of defensiveness,
and avoid arguing, defending, or rationalizing your behavior
69. How do we stay on track? First, we need to determine our levels of
motivation…
70. Assignment • How to Motivate Yourself
71. Goal Setting
72. Why is goal setting important?
73. Why is Goal Setting Important? • They provide us with a sense of direction •
They motivate us • They make us feel good about ourselves and what we do •
They point out strengths, which can be used to overcome obstacles, and make us
aware of weaknesses so we can begin to improve them
74. Why is Goal Setting Important? • They help us visualize what is important, plan
actions to achieve the goals, and then carry them out • They help us make
decisions • They make us responsible for our own lives and make our group
responsible for its own success or failure • They force us to set priorities • They
make us feel committed
75. Why is Goal Setting Important? • They develop better group morale by giving a
sense of past victories and providing a stimulus for present success • They
measure both individual and group progress • They sharpen our leadership skills
76. Reasons People Don’t Set Goals • Predictability (threatened by change) •
Conditioning (might make you change) • Belief in miracles (sit and wait) • Fear of
losing • Fear of winning (changes comfort zone) • Over expectations (“I know I can’t
reach that goal, so I won’t even try”)
77. Defining Goals • Is it realistic, attainable, and feasible, but challenging? • Is there a
target for completion? • Does it have measurable results? • Is it clear, specific, and
understandable? • Is it meaningful and desirable? • Is it beneficial? • Is it flexible?
(more than one level of attainment) • Is it something you are responsible for
making happen? (does it depend on someone else?) • Whose goal is it? • Is this
goal energizing?
78. How to Set Goals: FRAME • Fantasy: Dream your wildest dreams. If you could be
doing anything in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, what would it be? You have to want it! •
Reality: Take a look at the pros and cons. How badly do I want it and how hard am
I willing to work for it? What will I sacrifice, what risks will I have to take?
79. How to Set Goals: FRAME • Aim: Clarify the needs and purposes that are the
basis of your goals. Is it specific? Is it attainable? How will I know its accomplished?
Set the goal high, but be realistic. • Method: Plan your attack. What steps do I take
to accomplish my goal? Don’t let the means become more than the end.
80. How to Set Goals: FRAME • Evaluation: Process the results. It should be
continuous. How can I apply what I’ve learned to future endeavors? Emphasize
the positive! You’ve only failed if you’ve failed to learn. Your biggest obstacle is
yourself.
81. Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting (Lynn Grabhorn) • Grabhorn’s Four Steps to get
goals • Identify what you don't want. • From that, identify what you do want. • Get
into the place of feeling the emotions of what you do want. • Be open to accepting
what the Universe sends you in response.
82. Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting (Lynn Grabhorn) • “Most of us are used to
focusing on the negatives in our lives: lack of money, relationship problems,
unfulfilling work, and health problems. That's what we think about, what we talk
about, what we read about in the papers, and what we see on television.”
83. Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting (Lynn Grabhorn) • This is why our lives aren't as
we would like them to be and we forget about goal setting • We habitually focus
most of our attention on the negatives of our lives with very strong feelings.
84. Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting (Lynn Grabhorn) • Let's take, for example, the
subject of money. While intending to attract more money, we tend to make the
mistake of concentrating our thoughts and energy on our lack of money. • We
complain about the cost of living. We declare that if we just had 10% more,
everything would be terrific. • We think about getting out of debt, getting rid of the
old junker car, and finally taking a vacation. All when we get more money. •
Without knowing it, we're still focusing our thoughts, words, and feelings on our
lack of money. What we attract, therefore, is more lack of money.
85. Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting (Lynn Grabhorn) • The key to success in having
a life we really can enjoy is to strive for positive feelings at all times. • Positive
feelings generate positive energy, which attracts more positive things into our
lives. • We can do this by monitoring how we're feeling. If we're feeling down, blue,
angry, or depressed, Grabhorn tells us to call up a memory or image of something
that brings good feelings with it. • Examples might be: the smile of a child, a pet's
friendly greeting, the joy of a special song, or the image of an inspiring natural
scene.
86. Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting (Lynn Grabhorn) • Conscious creation is a
matter of attracting the things of life we want as opposed to those we don't want.
• Because we habitually focus on the "don't wants" of life, we tend to attract more
of the same. • With conscious attention and practice we can re-focus our thoughts
and feelings on what we truly want.
87. In Order For Something To Be a Goal: • It should positively affect your life. • It
has to be important to you, personally. • It has to be within your power to make it
 happen through your own actions. • It has to be something you have a reasonable
chance of achieving. • It must be clearly defined and have a specific plan of action.
88. Remember… • We can do anything we want to do in life… some things just may
take longer than others
89. Goal Setting Assignment 1 • Directions: Think really hard about goals you have in
your life. Complete the following for each goal: (1) define the goal specifically, (2)
outline the steps needed to achieve it, (3) consider possible blocks and ways of
dealing with them, (4) set deadlines, (5) consider your life now (are you on track to
complete it, and (6) if not, how can I change to be on track), or if so, how do I stay
on track. • Create an outline explaining one (1) goal you want to achieve by next
week, two (2) goals you want to achieve by the end of the summer, four (4) goals
you want to achieve within the next five years, and (6) goals you want to achieve
within the next ten (10) years.
90. Goal Setting Assignment 2 • Imagine that some day you will have children. •
Write a letter of advice for them to read when they reach the age you are right
now. • Tell them about the goals you had at this age, and what those goals did for
you. Tell them about taking risks - what kinds of risks are good to take and what
kind aren't. And tell them how to deal with failure and disappointment so they
won't be discouraged when things don't work out the way they want.
91. Self Organization
92. Self-Organization • Management of your time is vital to your success as a student
leader • 1. Look at your normal time schedule and analyze it • How much
unassigned time do you have? • In what ways do you waste your time? • What
similar activities could be grouped together to save time? • What is the most
productive time of your day?
93. Self-Organization • Write down specific, attainable goals • Schedule blocks of
time to make significant progress on the most important goals. Plan each day the
night before. Think of ways you can reduce distractions. • Use “To Do” lists daily,
weekly, and long term. Rank your tasks in order of priority
94. Self-Organization • Do one thing at a time and resist detours • Break down large
or unpleasant jobs into manageable units. “Being a better student” is too big; start
with “studying math longer each day.” • Establish starting times/dates, review
times/dates, and completion times/dates. Stick to them. Commit yourself and
others to get things done on time.
95. Self-Organization • Plan for the unexpected! Don’t schedule every minute of
every day • Learn to say NO! (to the phone, friends, TV, etc.)
96. Self-Organization • Unclutter your life • Get rid of unused possessions. If you
don’t need it, use it, or enjoy it, why save it? • Balance your priorities between
home and school. Don’t let your home life suffer because your are spending too
much time and energy on school and activities • Don’t be friends with people who
are negative or pull you down
97. Self-Organization • Use sleeping time to let the subconscious work. Keep paper
and pens by your to record ideas as soon as you wake. • Delegate activities to
friends when they can help. Make sure they are reliable, and give them
recognition for the job they do. • Determine which things can be appropriately be
put off or ignored • Regularly ask yourself, “What is the best use of my time right
now?”
98. Hierarchy of your life • Organize your life • At this point in your life, what are
your priorities?
99. Hierarchy of your life • After thought: • Is this the best way to help you with your
future? • Did you keep in mind your goals?
100. Stress Management
101. Stress Management • No matter how hard you try to organize your life,
there always seem to be times when you are overwhelmed with responsibilities,
activities, and demands on your time. • Stress results from too many demands on
too few resources • This stress makes you tense and irritable, and affects the
tasks you do on a daily basis
102. Stress Management • It is vital that you learn to recognize the signs of stress
in yourself. Some common self-observable signs of stress include: • General
irritability, hyper-excitation, or depression • Pounding of heart (high blood
pressure is often due to stress) • Dryness of the throat and mouth • Impulsive
behavior, emotional instability
103. Stress Management • Inability to concentrate, disorientation • “floating
anxiety” (being fearful, but you don’t know of what) • Tendency to be easily
startled • Stuttering • Insomnia and/or nightmares • Hypermotility – increased
tendency to move around without any reason (are you kicking your foot right
now?) • Sweating • Accident proneness
104. How to deal with stress • Look for causes: Who or what is at the bottom of
stress? Dealing directly with the person or issue might be the best approach.
“Worrying is like a rocking chair – it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get
you anywhere.” • Anticipate stressful periods and plan for them: Find the level of
stress that is comfortable for you. How much can you handle while keeping your
performance stellar?
105. How to deal with stress • Do one thing at a time: Don’t overwhelm yourself
by fretting about your entire workload. You end up worrying much more and
getting less accomplished. • Set realistic goals • Pace yourself: You can’t operate
sin high gear all the time. Take a useful break. Go for a walk. • Exercise: Physical
activity helps de-stress your body and gives you more energy.
106. How to deal with stress • Learn how to play: Find an activity that you enjoy
(not what someone else thinks you’ll enjoy) and engage in it regularly. • Go with
the flow: If you can’t fight what’s bothering you, and you can’t flee from it, go with
it. • Create a quiet place.
51.