My brethren and sisters, particularly is it good to have my wife with me I modestly admit that she's perfect

and any compliments directed at her tonight, I'm sure, are all understatements and it's just special to have
her here. Well, I respond to the invitation to speak to college students.
I assume that you're all, for that is for the most part, students at the university here very few of you still in
your teens. If you are, you're in your late teens and that on a Sunday night, even in a fireside, you're rather
serious.
I'd like to approach a subject that is important to college and university students, particularly in the church
the recent legislation in the state made it mandatory for any teenager who wished to purchase a hunting
license that he must first pass successfully a survival course. With two of my sons, I attended much of this
training under the direction of the Utah State Fish and Game Department.
And it's an excellent course and it was instituted because hunting can be not only futile, but dangerous, and
even fatal.
The late President J. Reuben Clark, Jr. once characterized Brigham Young University as the greatest happy
hunting ground this side of eternity.
Sensing that this hunting may also be futile, or dangerous, or spiritually fatal, I thought that a survival
course of sorts may be in order here as well. If the hunting is to be happy, the participants ought to know
something of a different nature.
How do I identify the query? A little, at least, about the choice of weapons something to do when lost.
And maybe just a little training in first day and so...I ventured...
With some real hesitation... to talk about love not the platonic kind not the four-mankind variety not the
parental or familiar kind but the young man, young woman, romantic, moonlight, engagement ring kind
some may question a bit the propriety of... Making it the subject of a sermon, rather than to just talk around
the subject as we usually do but because it's important to young people, and because you are important to
us, I feel it's a perfectly proper subject for a sermon.
However much other kinds of love may satisfy the platonic, charitable, compassionate kinds of love, and
however much one must enjoy a measure of love from his family, from his fellow men, a little love from
many, to be really happy, and to find true joy, it is crucial that we have the complete, unshared, fully
expressed love of one.
The subject matter is so commonplace as to be everywhere in evidence it is so precios it is so prevalent that
we must seek to find any music or art or literature which do not deal directly with it and we must search
diligently to find an example of them that does not deal, at least indirectly, with it the subject of romantic
love occupies more time on television, radio, the bookshelf, the magazine rack, the stage, more by a
thousand times over than any other subject we could name it does not grow old it's both classic and popular
Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote in her sonnets from the Portuguese these lines which express the hope of
all who love, that love may be eternal. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways I love thee to the depth
and breadth and height my soul can reach while feeling out of sight for ends of being and ideal grace I love
thee to the level of every day's most quiet need By sun and candlelight I love thee freely as men strive for
right I love thee purely as men turn from praise I love thee with a passion put to use in my old grief and
with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seem to lose with my lost saints I love thee with the
breath, smiles, tears of all my life, and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.
One surely must have known love to write like this, or I had to understand it I think I understand it It has
always been my feeling that the doctrines of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are not vague,
nor mysterious, nor elusive, but rather the gospel is what we do in our everyday lives Or, perhaps I ought to
say, the gospel is what we ought to do Marriage occupies a significant place in the doctrines of the Church
In Genesis we read, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife,
and they shall be one flesh and then from the Doctrine and Covenants, and again verily I say unto you, that
whoso forbiddeth to marry is not of God for marriage is ordained of God unto man Marriage is eternal,
family life is sacred. The falling in love of a young man and a young woman is the prelude to love, and
staying in love is the vitality, the very breath and life of marriage. Everyone hopes to experience romantic
love, rightly it's not only a part of life, but literally a dominating influence of it. It is deeply and
significantly religious. There is no abundant life without it. Indeed, the highest degree of the celestial
kingdom is unattainable in the absence of it. Truly, it is not good that the man should be alone. A boy ought
to love a girl. He ought to desire with all of the desire a life's companion. He ought to love fully and
completely and righteously. He ought to be preoccupied with finding a sweetheart and having found her to
love her permanently. This power, this yearning to love and to be loved, is something so magnetic, so
powerful, so compelling and so important that it is not to be ignored. Young people sometimes get the
mistaken notion that the religious attitude and spirituality interferes with the experience of love. They
assume that the requirements of the Church are interferences and aggravations which thwart the full
expression of love. Oh, youth, if you could know, the requirements of the Church are the highway to love,
with guardrails securely in place, with guide signs plainly marked, with help along the way. How foolish is
the youth who feels that the Church is a fence around love, to keep him out. How unfortunate to resent
counsel and restraints. How fortunate the young person who follows the standards of the Church, even if
just from sheer obedience or habit, for he will find a rapture and a joy fulfilled. There seems to be the silly
notion around also that if you're good, you're going to miss out on a lot. The preliminary exploration, which
sometimes is occasioned as men and women begin to mature, becomes so appealing that one easily may be
possessed by it. It becomes consuming and grows, if you will, into a passion, a power meant to create, but
used to destroy. You're at an age now as college students when there is a competition and a compelling
urgency for you to be complete. You want to find the fulfillment in life that you know you cannot find
alone. The powers that awakened earlier in your lives have been growing. You have been responding to
them, probably very clumsily, but they now form themselves into a restlessness that cannot be ignored. You
are old enough now to fall in love, not the puppy love, not the elementary years, not the confused love of
the teens, but the full-blown love of eligible men and women, newly matured, ready for life, romantic love
with all the full intense meaning of the word, with all of the power, turbulence, and frustration, the
yearning, the restraining, and all of the peace and beauty and sublimity of love. No experience can be more
beautiful, no power more compelling, more exquisite, or if misused, no suffering more excruciating than
that connected with love. Since at least a little part of your purpose, for being at Brigham Young University,
concerns itself with getting an education for economic independence, I think there's an analogy that we
might draw. In the family unit, children are provided for. All they need, or at least all that's available,
materially, is bestowed upon them gratis, without any contract for its return. Parents hardly keep an account
of the money spent on their children, and then expect as they go to maturity that they should return an
equal amount. Food, clothing, shelter, all that's necessary, are provided by the parents. But they are under
the obligation to teach their youngsters in the early years, how to be responsible for the necessities of life,
and how to use them wisely. Young people begin to earn money for themselves, and gradually become
responsible for their own needs. Finally, when they are of college age, many young men and young women
here are receiving no support at all from their parents. When children become economically independent,
parents ordinarily don't expect a return of, or even a return on, the material things they have invested in
them. One of the responsibilities of parenthood is to prepare To prepare against the day when they are
unable to provide for their children, they must ensure that their son and their daughter will know how to
provide when the parents no longer live. The love we are speaking of is necessary to life. Love, too, is
bestowed upon us gratis by our parents. We are loved and cared for without any actual demand for
reciprocation. But the day comes, as in economics, when that source is no longer available.. A young
person may develop the ability to provide for himself this vital necessity of living, Not only will that source
of love be gone, but then a new kind of love becomes necessary. In our youth we learn how to relate to
other people learning little amounts of love and affection and friendship Earning little amounts of love and
affection, we learn how to relate to other people, and friendship by bestowing them on others. Earning little
amounts of love and affection, by bestowing them on others. When we have reached college age, The first
time we have reached college age, it is assumed that we are prepared to find love for ourselves it is
assumed that we are prepared to find love for ourselves in order that our lives may be normal and full and
rewarding. in order that our lives may be normal and full and rewarding. This then becomes the basic
responsibility of a college, and particularly of Brigham Young University, to teach you how to find love.
You are on your own, and you ought to seriously ponder your qualifications there are some signs evident
when these We have some signs evident when these powers that they don't awaken, they don't begin to
murmur when a boy notices a girl, but when a boy notices that a girl notices, that he notices her. Something
is said in the lyrics of a song about falling in love with love. This is very commonplace. Falling in love
with love is falling for make-believe. Falling in love with love is playing the fool. And then I think the
lyrics also say something about a juvenile fancy. I think almost everyone goes through that courtship, and
it's a courtship that ought to be broken up as soon as possible. This falling in love with love, there are some
very inherent dangers involved therein. There is a phenomenon involved in the human courtship that's as
strange as anything in human behavior. When a boy and a girl start to relate to one another, if the boy feels
a heavy attraction for a girl and pursues her too strongly, surely he'll be repulsed. And if a girl is too
forward with a boy to whom she's attracted, why, he'll reject her immediately. But all she has to do is call
him twice, and that ends that. And while it's absolutely necessary that this deep attraction take place, if one
or the other of the partners make an expression of it too soon, that destroys it. I guess we say something in
the early stages of courtship, if that happens, something like this, I can't stand anybody who really wants
me. It's a little like Groucho Marx, who received an invitation from a prominent San Francisco club to join
the club, and he sent the invitation back with a notation on the bottom, any club that would have people
like me in it isn't fit to join. This strange phenomenon of human behavior I think maybe has a purpose, and
I've wondered if the Lord didn't structure it that way to prevent us from getting together prematurely or too
easily, too early. Fortunately, there comes a time when they both feel the attraction in about the same
intensity, and love is blossomed. Righteous love comes so naturally, so beautifully, that it is apparent that
there's a special providence about it. They were meant for each other, we'll say. While I'm sure some young
couples have some special guidance in getting together, I do not believe in predestined love. If you desire
the inspiration of the Lord in this crucial decision, you must live the standards of the Church, and you must
pray constantly for the wisdom to recognize those qualities upon which a successful union may be based.
You must do the choosing, rather than to seek for some one and only so-called soulmate chosen for you by
someone else and waiting for you. You are to do the choosing, and you must be wise beyond your years
and humbly prayerful, unless you choose amiss. Romance must blossom in the garden, as it were, with
music and dancing and all of the deception that makes a girl more ornamental than useful, and all of the
acting that makes a man a gentleman. But you, young man, will do well to consider if she's useful. It's not
whether she's pretty or witty or whether she dances well, or it's not vital that she wear clothes in fashion
model style. Now, some of these things may add a little to the interest, but they are essentially unessential.
The question is, do you want her as the mother of your children? How wise is the man who does not expect
perfection, but looks for potential? How wise the youth who looks for a mother for his children, not for an
ornament to be admired by his friends, but a girl who wants to be a woman, a domesticated, feminine,
motherly woman? And how wise the girl who looks for a man who will honor his priesthood and who will
be not only willing, to take her to the temple, but indeed insists upon it? Many of the things about a
youthful boy, so appealing to a girl, may fade soon after marriage. She would do well to look deeply at his
qualities and ponder these lines from John Maysfield. I know the woman's portion when she loves. It's hers
to give, my darling, not to take. It isn't Lockett's, dear, or pairs of gloves. It isn't marriage bells or wedding
cakes. It's up and cook although the body ache and bear the child and up and work again and count a sick
man's grumble worth the pain. The power of love between man and woman is not completely defined, but
like electricity, it can be used and controlled and directed even though we don't know exactly what it is. We
know that love has the power to create. Think of that. Just think of that. Love has the power to create life.
When a young husband and young wife live together in love, the product of the most exalted and most
sacred expression of love is life itself. Children are born out of love. Love is to be controlled. Much is said
in our day about learning to control one's passions. There are different kinds of control. The kind we use on
infestations of grace, grasshoppers, or crickets, for instance. We eradicate or stop them completely, literally
kill them. But there is another definition for control that more closely relates to these powers of love. It's
the type of control used on electricity when it is directed through proper channels for worthwhile purposes.
When properly controlled or directed, we can accomplish not only good but miraculous things. Young
people often misunderstand the efforts of their seniors to teach them control of their passions. They
mistakenly assume that we mean to eradicate these impulses. This is not so. These powers are to be
channeled and directed safely to For righteous purposes, not only are they approved, but they are blessed of
the Lord. I quote from the 132nd section of the Doctrine and Covenants, verse 19. And again verily I say
unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, it
is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, and to whom I have appointed
this power and the keys of the priesthood. And it shall be said unto them, Ye shall come forth in the
morning of the first resurrection. And if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection. and shall
inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths. It shall be done
unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time and through all eternity, and
shall be of force when they are out of the world, and they shall pass by the angels and gods which are set
there to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a
fullness and continuation of the seeds forever. The greatest deception foisted upon the human race in our
day is that overemphasis of physical gratification as it's related to romantic love. And it's merely a
repetition of the same delusion that's been impressed on every generation in ages past. When we learn that
physical gratification is only incident to, and not the compelling force of love itself, we have made a
supreme discovery. If only physical gratification should interest you, you need not be selective at all. This
principle is the only way to be successful. This power is possessed by almost everyone. Alone, without
attendant love, this relationship becomes nothing, indeed less and worse than nothing. The adversary would
draw down and make cheap and common and vulgar this sacred, sublime experience of love in its total
expression. And in its total expression, love is the most sacred and most sublime experience of love. And
nothing is his villainy more loathsome, so tragic, as the invitation to man to look upon love with eyes and
hearts and minds that are filthy. Expressions of love are not ugly unless they are used in an ugly way. The
prostitution or misuse of these powers becomes all the more lamentable because the power itself and the
righteous expression of it is pure and beautiful and sanctified. Touch not the functions and powers of life
within your body and do not tamper or explore these powers with any living soul. To seek some satisfaction
by yourself is but to experience guilt, morbidity, and degradation. This exploration was never meant to be. I
know that there are those who say that things like this are to be excused, and some even say they're
necessary. This is a lie. Such indulgence is neither necessary nor desirable. It's part of our religion to be
properly mated. It's important to be in love. It's part of our religion to enter into a courtship that is beautiful
and righteous and leads to temple marriage. All that is important to the children of God and to the gospel of
Jesus Christ is related here too. All of the devices and tempting power and debauchery and cunningness of
Satan is directed thereat. The advisability of Latter-day Saint young men marrying Latter-day Saint young
women is so obvious and the alternative so dangerous as to hardly be the object of any lengthy attention
here. You all understand that, surely. You're of college age. Now a word to those who want to be loved and
to be in love and who are slipping past the usual age for marriage. I'm thinking of many of these lovely,
worthy sisters who feel that life is passing them by. Unfortunately, that sometimes occurs when you're 19.
Now, these suggestions. Don't give up. Hold to your standards. It may well come to you as a September
song, and be twice more precious for the waiting. Stay attractive, And I don't mean the cover girl girl
appeal, but attractive in disposition and in attitude and in service, and then stay available. Don't be so
content with what you do that you cease to care. The summit may not come, but surely there is a
compensation that the Lord has in store for the righteous who have held to his standards but who remain
unmarried through no choice of their own. Not of those who may have unwittingly or in a moment of
supreme temptation made themselves unworthy or less worthy to love. Instruction's simple. See your
bishop. He will tell you what to do. Now don't delay. Get it settled now because mischief grows. It's hard to
keep up. Keep locked up. But the bishop has the keys. The bishop has the keys, and he can lock it up for
good. Now there is forgiveness, complete forgiveness. It's based on repentance, complete repentance. Now
to those who are married and not in love, all are saved. In our society that is not an infrequent
circumstance. The remedy for your dilemma was prescribed in these words by Stephen L. Richards, quote,
I made the statement, and I hope you will approve of it, that the remedy for domestic problems and
irritations is not divorce, but repentance. I'm thoroughly convinced in my heart that that's the way it is. I'm
truly convinced that there's no second love. that this is true, and I hope you will prove that interpretation. I
am sure that there is much that can be done to lessen this evil." You can stumble out of love. Now, I say
stumble because the process of falling in love is so beautiful and so desirable that we ought to use a
different designation for its opposite. If there is trouble, you stay married, both of you. You repent, both of
you. You be worthy, both of you. You be prayerful, both of you. You be forgiving, both of you. And love
can grow again from the same rootstock and bloom again with blossoms sweeter still. It's my conviction
that men are basically good. It's my conviction that young people are basically good. It's my feeling that
young people, that you, all of you here, want to do that which is right. I'm firmly convinced that you want
and desire to find a marriage partner in the righteous way and that you want to have a successful marriage.
And the preliminary to that, that you want and desire to have a courtship that's clean and worthy. And all
I'm trying to say to you is that with all of the don'ts that we heap upon you all of your growing up years,
that there is a positive and a beautiful and a desirable aspect to this subject that is so supernally sacred . It's
my conviction that if you don't achieve these things, you want to, to begin with, that you must be seduced
from or drawn from that path of righteousness. In other words, rather than being basically evil, which is a
doctrine preached by much of Christianity and which is a doctrine that is false, that men are basically good
and must be persuaded to unrighteousness. And I say again that this philosophy that holds that men are
basically evil is not true. Well, in conclusion, I picture you coming to the temple to be sealed for time and
for all eternity. I yearn to talk to you about the sacred sealing ordinance. But this we do not do outside those
sacred walls. But the transcendent nature of what's conferred upon us at the marriage altar is so marvelous,
it's worth all of the waiting and all of the resisting. I picture you, as I have seen you often, the young man,
masculine, clear of vision, stalwart of frame, firm to accept the responsibilities as a husband and as a father,
the bride, unassuming, beautiful, feminine, an inspiration to her sweetheart and dependent upon him. But
this is not the fulfillment of the story of love in the book and the play on stage. The curtain comes down
here. But it's not so in real life or real love. This is not the conclusion, only the beginning. And I quote a
few lines from a young man deeply in love with his bride. You say that I'm 90. There must be some
mistake. For throughout my body, there's no pain or ache. It's true, I respond less keenly to sound and
forget where I put things as I strew them around. But it's no time at all since Tommy and I took Nettie Bell
and Annie our fortunes to try at the U. When seeking apartments where we could stay, I met for the first
time a maiden called Ray. You say that I'm 90. Why is she still by my side as precious and sweet as when
as my bride in the springtime of life with hearts on the glow we faced life together come wail or come woe.
Family cares came heavy but not a complaint. 44 children now praise her as saint. Companion, counselor,
advisor, always, my wife for eternity, my own Emma Ray. This picture then I see and were I an artist, had I
the power, I would paint this picture over and over again, not with oil or canvas or brush. But with counsel
and admonition and encouragement and blessing with forgiveness and reassurance with the truth. I bear
witness that the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is divinely inspired and that the exalted concept
of marriage is the same concept of marriage. And of courtship and of romantic love are ordained of God. I
know as surely as it is my right that God lives to know and I bear witness that Jesus is the Christ. Love is a
promise and there is a Holy Spirit of promise. I cannot frame this picture. I would not if I could for it has
no bounds. Love, like this, may have a beginning but never through all eternity need it have an end. In the
name of Jesus Christ, Amen.