Women Are Like Cats, Men Are Like Dogs

No matter what you do with a dog, he is man’s best friend. A dog will never leave
you, no matter what happens. Dogs will come right up and demand attention from
anyone, even a friendly-looking stranger that appeals to them. They don’t understand
the concept of rejection if a stranger pushes them away. They will come right back for
more. Dogs will feel an instant attraction, an instant affection for a total stranger, and
run around obeying commands at the drop of a hat. When was the last time you saw a
cat take commands from anyone?
Women are like cats. They come and go as they please. They do what they want,
when they want, and with who they want. You can call a cat, but it will only come to
you if it feels like it. Many times they will give you that bored, sleepy stare that says:
Who do you think you’re kidding? Cats look around a crowded room of strangers and
will go only to the one they feel comfortable being with, the one they know for certain
will give them the affection they want.
If a cat doesn’t know you, it will often run and hide. At the very least, it will stay back
and watch you carefully before it decides you are worthy of its approach and
attention. Cats might kind of stroll by and look over and see you, and then pretend to
ignore you and move on. Then the cat may come back a minute or two later, come
into the room and walk around and look at you, and then turn around and leave.
The cat may come back again a few minutes later and walk a little circle around
you, maybe brush up against your leg and then take off. A few minutes later the cat
may come back and go around in between your legs, rubbing up against you with its
tail in the air, and then all of the sudden sit down and start purring. Cats are a lot more
particular about who they will give their affection to. For some strange reason, they
will even decide that the only person in the room that doesn’t like cats is the only one
deserving of their attention.
In order to entice a cat to your side, you have to be patient and let it come to
you. If your moves are too sudden, too quick, or too aggressive, you will send the cat
fleeing from your side and into hiding. Cats have to be encouraged. They let you
know when it’s okay to touch them by rubbing up against you, or coming over to sit
in your lap. If you don’t hold the cat properly, or pet it in the wrong way, it will leave.
Once that happens, it becomes twice as hard to coax it back to you.
Until the cat is coming to you, and letting you know it is okay to engage it, you
have to stand fast and hold your ground. No matter what the cat does, or how it tests
you, you need to be indifferent. You need to let it roll of you as though it does not
bother you, or that you could care less one way or another what it does.
The cat is testing you, much like a woman tests you. If you are aggressive (a
sign of neediness), then you are chasing after the cat, and it is going to run away. If
you come off as weak and needy, then you are no longer worthy of their time.
Women are very much like cats. You have to get to the point where no matter
what a woman does, it doesn’t move you off center. You cannot move quickly, or be
too aggressive. You also have to treat the beautiful woman just like you would treat
the woman you have absolutely no interest in. It is not about being rude to her, but
you have to not let her beauty affect you. Like the cat, she is drawn to the one that
seems to be least affected by her.
The old saying goes: Curiosity killed the cat. Cats are curious creatures. They will
keep checking something out as long as they are curious about it. Once they have
figured out just what that something is, they become bored and walk away. The same
thing is true with women. You need to keep them wondering. You need to keep them
curious. If you tell them everything about you and they can see all there is to know,
the mystery is gone and they move on.
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You are here on this earth to do something wonderful with your life, to experience
happiness and joy, wonderful relationships, excellent health, complete prosperity, and
total fulfillment. So, why aren’t you living the life of your dreams already?
If you want to know the reasons for your happiness or unhappiness, success or lack of
success, wins or losses, look in the nearest mirror. The quality of your thinking about
whom you see in the mirror largely determines the quality of your life. If you change
your thinking about yourself, you change your life—almost immediately.
A Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, according to the fairy tale, a handsome prince was turned into an
ugly frog by a spiteful witch. Her curse could be broken only if he was kissed by a
princess, something the witch was sure would never happen.
Once upon that same time, a beautiful princess longed for a handsome prince she
could marry, but he hadn’t appeared in her life. One day, while walking alone in the
woods by a small lake, she saw an ugly frog who was living in the woods. As the
princess sat quietly by the water, thinking about her situation and longing for a
handsome prince to come along, the frog hopped up to her and spoke.
He told her that he was actually a handsome prince, and if she would just kiss him, he
would turn into the prince that he had been before and he would marry her and love
her forever after.
The idea seemed absurd, but with great reluctance, she summoned up her courage and
character and kissed the frog right on the lips.
As he had promised, he immediately turned into a handsome prince. He kept his word
and married her, and they lived happily ever after.
The Moral of the Story
It seems that almost everyone has a block, or more than one, that holds him or her
back from becoming a truly happy, healthy, joyful person, looking forward to each
new day with excitement and anticipation.
What is the “frog” in your life that you need to “kiss” before you can achieve all that
is possible for you? What are the negative experiences in your life that you need to
embrace, deal with, and use to transform yourself into the amazing person you are
capable of becoming?
The great aim of human life is to enjoy happiness and peace of mind. Every
normal person wants to enjoy and experience the positive emotions of love, pleasure,
satisfaction, and fulfillment.
Perhaps the greatest discovery in psychology and individual fulfillment is that the
biggest obstacles that stand between you and an extraordinary life are usually negative
mental attitudes toward yourself and others. Only when you learn to “kiss that frog,”
continually making it a habit to seek and find something positive and worthwhile in
every person and experience, will you unlock your full potential for success.
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Fully 95 percent of what you do, or fail to do, is determined by your habits. Your
actions are determined by your habits of belief (the way you are programmed as a
result of your lifetime of experience) and your habits of behavior (what you are
accustomed to doing or not doing).
The biggest obstacle to success is that people have negative habits, sometimes
unconsciously, that hold them back, year after year, from realizing their full potential.
The good news is that all habits, first of thought and then of behavior, are learned.
Because your habits are learned, they can be unlearned and replaced with new,
positive, constructive habits that enable you to get going, keep going, and do great
work that gets you paid more and promoted faster.
Develop New, Better Habits
Habits are developed by taking in new information that’s either positive or negative
for us and then repeating actions based on that information until actions become
automatic. Once the habit is locked in, you respond automatically, neither questioning
nor explaining to yourself what you have decided to do.The worst habits of all are
based on your self-limiting beliefs. These are areas where you believe yourself to be
limited in some way even though it may not be true. But as a result, you act as if it
was true, and it then becomes true for you. As the old saying goes: “You are not what
you believe you are, but what you believe, you are.”
Challenge Your Beliefs
The starting point of greater success is for you to take some time to challenge the
automatic assumptions you make that may be holding you back from success. Some
people believe they are lacking in intelligence because they didn’t get good grades in
school. Then they find out that some of the most successful people in the most
complex industries also did poorly in school.
Some people are unsuccessful because they do not believe they are creative, self-
disciplined, good time managers, punctual, or capable of learning and applying new
things. They say, “That’s just the way I am.”
They actually think this is a reason for not growing and improving. The fact is that
most self-limiting beliefs are not true. They are based on information that you have
taken in. Sometimes they come from the opinions or criticisms of others; sometimes,
from something as simple as reading your horoscope.
The Brake on Your Potential
The worst of all self-limiting beliefs is the fear of failure. This is the fear of loss,
poverty, mistakes, or not achieving a goal that you have set for yourself. People who
are preoccupied with the fear of failure continually look for reasons why something
cannot be done, why it’s a bad idea, or why they may lose their time and money. The
fear of failure, like all fears, paralyzes behavior, clouds thinking, and causes a person
to feel like the proverbial deer in headlights.
Taming Elephants
In my seminars, I often ask, “How do you train an Indian elephant?” At one time,
Indian elephants were the “battle tanks” of the Maharajas. Not only did they carry
boxes of bowmen and spear throwers on their backs, but they were also violent and
aggressive, attacking the enemy and impaling them on their sharpened tusks. They
were so terrifying and fearless that enemy armies would run away when they were
confronted by these elephants. Today, these same elephants are beasts of burden.
They calmly and peacefully plow the fields, haul logs, do what their masters tell them
to do, and then stand around quietly in their corrals, waiting for the next day and more
work. They have completely lost their ferocity and their ability to strike fear into the
heart of the enemy. How did this happen?
The Training Begins
When the elephant was a baby, the owner would take the little elephant away from its
mother and tie its leg with a strong rope to a post driven deep into the ground. The
baby elephant would struggle and try to get away to get back to its mother, crying and
bleating and protesting—but to no avail. The rope around its leg was too strong, and
the post was driven too deep. Eventually, the baby elephant would give up struggling.
Each day, the owner would take the baby elephant away and tie it to a post for several
hours. In almost no time at all, the baby elephant would accept that when it was tied to
a post, it was helpless. The baby elephant developed the greatest malaise of the
modern world, what psychologists call learned helplessness.
The Elephant Gives Up
When the elephant grew up into a five-ton beast, the largest land animal in the world,
all the owner had to do was tie a rope the size of a dog leash around the elephant’s leg,
and it would immediately become passive and stop moving or struggling. The owner
could then tie the other end of this rope to a tent post driven a few inches into the
ground.
The elephant, capable of breaking through fences and knocking down houses, would
simply stand and wait quietly until the owner came back to take him to work. As
children, the same thing happens to us. At an early age, our parents begin to tell us
“No!” or “Stop that” or “Get away from there!” or “Don’t touch that!” Sometimes the
parent would back up these words with spanks or other kinds of physical punishment.
The growing child would soon start to feel small, incompetent, incapable, weak, and
afraid to try anything new or different.
The Root of Helplessness
Most people have had these childhood experiences. Just like the elephant, when you
grow up, whenever you are confronted with something new, different, unexpected, or
unsure, your natural reaction is the same: “I can’t! I can’t! I can’t!” This fear of failure
then holds you back from trying new things, making risks, moving out of your
comfort zone, and thinking outside the box. Instead of thinking of all the ways you
could benefit and grow from trying or doing something different, you only think of
the possible downside and the negative things that might happen. Like the Indian
elephant, you become passive. This is the state of mind of fully 80 percent of the
population.
Set Big Goals
Here’s a question for you: Would you like to be happy, healthy, popular, thin, and
rich?
Most people say, “What a dumb question! Of course I would like to be happy,
healthy, popular, thin, and rich.”
You think you do, but in your heart of hearts, you probably don’t believe that it’s
possible for you. How can you tell? By looking at what you are doing. If you
sincerely want to achieve these great goals, you would be out there working on them
all day, every day, and nothing could stop you from achieving them.
Your Actions Tell the Truth
It is not what you say, wish, hope, or intend that matters; it is only what you do. Your
actions on an hour by hour, minute by minute basis tell you and everyone around you
who you really are and what you really want. You are who you are and where you are
today because of all of your previous choices up until now. You cannot change the
past, but you can change the future. You can accomplish more and different things in
the future by making better choices in the present.
The Key to Success
Since 95 percent of what you do, positive or negative, is determined by your habits,
the secret to creating a wonderful future for yourself is to develop new habits that are
consistent with the person you want to be and the things you want to accomplish. The
truth is that bad habits are easy to form but hard to live with. Good habits are hard to
form but easy to live with. The wonderful discovery is that once you develop a new,
positive, life-enhancing habit, it soon becomes automatic and easy. It even becomes
harder to revert to a negative habit than to practice a better one because of the feelings
of happiness and personal satisfaction that the new habit gives you.
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