Oh, look! There's Joey's picture! This is so exciting!

You can spot someone who's

never seen his plays. Notice, no fear. No sense of impending doom. The exclamation
point scares me. It's not just Freud, it's Freud! Magic is about to happen! Well,
Eva we've done some excellent work here. And I would have to say your problem is
quite clear. All you want is a dinkle What you envy's a schwang A thing through
which you can tinkle To play with or simply let hang FRIENDS I feel violated. Did
anybody else feel like peeling their skin off to have something else to do? Ross,
10:00. Is it? It feels like 2. -No, 1 0:00! -What? There's a beautiful woman at 8,
9, 1 0:00! Hello! She's amazing! She makes the women l dream about look like fat,
bald men.

Go over. She's not with anyone. And what would my opening line be? Excuse me. Come
on, she's a person. You can do it. Could she be more out of my league? Back me up.
He couldn't get a woman like that in a million years. You always see these
beautiful women with "nothing" guys. You could be one of those guys. -You could do
that. -You think? Absolutely! I can't believe I'm considering this. -l' m very
aware of my tongue. -Come on. Here goes. -Yes? -Hi. Okay, next word would be
Chandler. Chandler is my name and. Hi! Yes, you said that. Yes! Yes, I did. But
what I didn't say. What I wanted to say was would you like to go out with me? Thank
you. Good night. Chandler? -I didn't know you could dance! -You were in a play!
What'd you think? -I didn't know you could dance! -You were in a play! It wasn't
that bad.

I was the lead.It was better than the troll thing. At least you got to see my
head. -You're right. -We saw your head. She said yes! She said yes! Awful play,
man! Her name's Aurora. She's ltalian and she pronounces my name " Chandler. " I
like that better. The usher gave me this. -What is it? -The Estelle Leonard Talent
Agency. An agency left its card. They wanna sign me! Based on this play? Based on
this play! Hey kids! It's been seven seconds, and you haven't asked me how my date
went. How was your date, Chandler? It was unbelievable! I've never met anyone like
her. She's had an amazing life! She was in the Israeli army. None of the bullets
hit the engine, so we made it to the border. But just barely, and l. I've been
talking about myself all night long.

I'm sorry.What about you? Tell me a story. All right, once I got on the subway.
And it was at night and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn. Just for the hell of it.
We talked until 2:00. It was perfect. More or less. Suddenly, we realized we were
in Yemen. I' m sorry, so "we" is ? "We" is me and Rick. Who's Rick? Who's Rick? My
husband. -Oh, so you' re divorced? -No. I' m sorry. So you' re widowed? Hopefully?
No, l' m still married. So, how would your husband feel about you sitting here with
me sliding your foot so far up my leg you can count the change in my pocket? Don't
worry. He'd be okay with you because he's okay with Ethan. Ethan? There's an Ethan?
Ethan is my boyfriend. What? What kind of relationship do you imagine us having.

if you have a husband and a boyfriend? I suppose, mainly sexual. Sorry it didn't
work out. What, not work out? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen
to the story? Didn't YOU listen? It's twisted! How could you get involved with her?
I had trouble with it at first. But I get the good stuff. All the fun, all the
talking, all the sex and none of the responsibility. This is every guy's fantasy! -
That's not true! -Ross, is this your fantasy? No, of course not. Yeah. Yeah, it is.
You'd go out with someone going out with someone else? I couldn't. Good for you.
When l' m with a woman, I need to know I' m going out with more people than her.
You know. monogamy can be a tricky concept. I mean, anthropologically speaking
Fine.

Now you'll never know.We're kidding. Tell us. -We wanna know. -Come on! All right.
There's a theory put forth by Richard Leakey Are we greeting each other this way
now? I like it. Look! I cleaned! I did the windows. I did the floors. I used all
the vacuum attachments but the round one. What's it for? Nobody knows. And we're
not supposed to ask. What do you think? -It's very clean. -Really, it looks great!
I see you moved the green ottoman. How did that happen? I don't know. It looked
better there. And it's an extra seat around the table. Yeah, it's interesting. But
you know what? Just for fun Iet's see what it looked like in the old spot. Just to
compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's leave it there for a
while. I can't believe you moved the green ottoman.

Be glad you didn't fan the magazines. She'll scratch your eyes out. You guys, I am
not that bad! Yeah, you are. Remember, I lived with you? You were a little. That is
so unfair! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't
raggedy. Okay, so I'm responsible. I'm organized. But hey, I can be a kook! All
right, you madcap gal! Imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it
right away. Why not? Because you're a kook! You wait until they send a notice. I
could do that. Okay, then you let me go grocery shopping And I buy detergent, but
it's not the one with the easy-pour spout. Why would someone do that? One might
wonder. A glass is on the table with no coaster. A cold drink. A hot day. Beads of
condensation are inching closer to the wood.

Stop it! Oh, my God! It's true. Who am l? Monica, you're Mom. Oh, my God! Okay,
I'll be there. That was my agent. My agent has just gotten me a job in the new Al
Pacino movie! That's great! What's the part? Can you believe it? Pacino! This guy's
why I became an actor! " Out of order? You' re out of order! This whole courtroom's
out of order! " Seriously, what's the part? "Just when I thought I was out, they
pull me back in! " Come on. Seriously, Joey, what's the part? You' re. What? I' m
his butt double, okay? I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower,
and then I' m his butt. Oh, my God! Come on, you guys. It's a real Pacino movie and
that's big! It's terrific. You deserve this. After years of struggling you've
cracked your way into show business.

Fine. Make jokes, I don't care. This is a big break for me! So, will you invite us
to the big opening? So, will you invite us to the big opening? -I need some
moisturizer. -For what? Today's the big day! God. Go in the bathroom. Use whatever
you want. Don't ever tell me what you did in there. Thank you. -Joey's mom's on the
phone. -ln the bathroom. -You don't wanna go in there! -Come on, we' re roommates.
My eyes! My eyes! I warned you. 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,159 Who is being loud?
Oh, that would be Monica. Can I borrow stuff? I wanna make Aurora breakfast. You
got the whole night? Well, I only have 20 minutes until Ethan, so. Do I sense
resentment? No. No resentment. Believe me it's worth it, okay? In a relationship,
you have moments you'll remember the rest of your life.

Every single second is like that with Aurora. I've just wasted 35 of them talking
to you. So, Monica, can you help me with the door? The old Monica would remind you
to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush. But l' m not gonna do that.
Everybody ready? I wanna thank you for this opportunity. Lose the robe. Me? That
would work. Right. Okay. Losing the robe! Okay, and the robe is lost. I would like
to get this in one take. Let's roll it. Water's working. And action! And cut! Butt
guy, what are you doing? I'm showering. No, that was clenching. The way I see it,
the guy's upset here, you know? His wife's dead, his brother's missing. I think his
butt would be angry here. I think his butt would like to get the shot before lunch.
Once again, rolling.

Water working.And action! And cut! What was that? I was going for quiet
desperation. But if you have to ask. God, I love these fingers. Thank you. No,
actually, I meant my fingers. Look at them. Look at how happy they are. -Oh, my
God, l' m late! -Oh, no! -Don't go. -Okay. -I have to. -Look, she's leaving. I' m
sorry. He'll be waiting for me. I thought you talked to Rick. It's not Rick. Ethan?
He gets the whole day! No, it's Andrew. I know there'll be moments when I'll regret
asking the following question, but. And Andrew is? He's new. So you' re not
completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself? No, that's not exactly what I was
Most women would kill for three guys like us. So, what do you want? You. -You have
me.

-No. Just you.What do you mean? Lose the other guys. Like, all of them? Come on,
we' re great together. Why not? Can't we have what we have now? Why can't we talk
and make love without feeling obligated to each other? Up until tonight, I thought
that's what you wanted too. Well, part of me wants that but it's like l' m two
guys. One guy's saying, "This is great! " But there's this other guy. The guy who
wells up when the Grinch's heart grows and breaks that measuring device. He's
saying, you know, "This is too hard. Get out! " So, which one of the guys will you
listen to? I have to listen to both. They don't let each other finish. Which one?
The second guy. I see. Call me if you change your mind. Sorry, the first guy runs
the lips.

Look at it this way. You dumped her! Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably
sexy and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable. Tell me why you did this again?
Movie star! Wait! Aren't you the guy who plays the butt in the new Pacino movie?
Nope. No? What happened, big guy? Big guy? It felt like a "big guy" moment. I got
fired! They said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Everybody's
expecting to see me. No one will be able to tell. My mom will. There's something so
sweet and disturbing about that. I've done crappy plays for six years and I finally
get my shot, and I blow it! Maybe this wasn't it. I think when it's your shot, you
know it's your shot. Did it feel like your shot? Hard to tell. I was naked. I don't
think this was it.

I don't think you just get one. I believe things are gonna happen for you. I do.
You've got to think about the day some kid will go: "l got the part! I'm gonna be
Joey Tribbiani's ass! " You think? That's so nice. I' m sorry, Joey. I' m gonna go
to bed, guys. Good night. You' re gonna leave your shoes out here? Really? Just
casually strewn about in that reckless, haphazard manner? It doesn't matter. I'll
get them tomorrow. Or not! Whenever. She is a kook. If it bothers you that much,
just go out and get the shoes. No, don 't do this! This is stupid! I don 't have to
prove anything. I'm gonna get them. But then everyone will know Unless I get them,
then wake up really early and put them back.

I need help!