ACADEMIC WRITING

Prepared by:
Prof. Ma. Concepcion Y. Raymundo and Prof. Ali G. Anudin
Competency:
1. Use English accurately, meaningfully, and appropriately in written discourse.

CONTENT UPDATE
I. COMMON SENTENCE ERRORS
A. Fragments
SENTENCE FRAGMENT fails to be a sentence in the sense that it cannot stand by itself. It
does not contain even one independent clause.

There are several reasons why a group of words may seem to act like a sentence but not
have the wherewithal to make it as a complete thought.

1. It may locate something in time and place with a prepositional phrase or a series of
such phrases, but it’s still lacking a proper subject-verb relationship within an
independent clause:
In Japan, during the last war and just before the armistice.
2. It describes something, but there is no subject-verb relationship:
Working far into the night in an effort to salvage her little boat.
3. It may have most of the makings of a sentence but still be missing an important part
of a verb string:
Some of the students working in Professor Espinoza’s laboratory last semester.
4. It may even have a subject-verb relationship, but it has been subordinated to another
idea by a dependent word and so cannot stand by itself:
Even though he had the better arguments and was by far the more powerful speaker.

Dependent-Word Fragments
Some words that begin with a dependent word are fragments. Following is a list of
common dependent words. Whenever you start a sentence with one of these words, you
must be careful that a fragment does not result.

B. Run-on Sentences and Comma Splice

A run-on is two complete thoughts that are run together with no adequate sign given to
mark the break between them. Some run-ons have no punctuation at all to mark the
break between the thoughts. Such run-ons are known as fused sentences: they are fused,
or joined together as if they were only one thought.
 Three ways to correct run-on sentences:

1. Place a semi-colon in between the two sentences

Jim's father passed the board exam for merchant marine officers; he will be the
captain of the ship next month
2. Add a transitional marker: a subordinating conjunction, or a coordinating conjunction
(it depends upon the nature of the sentence) between the two sentences
Jim’s father passed the board exam for merchant marine officers, and he will be the
captain of the ship next month.
3. Divide the sentence into two.
Jim's father passed the board exam for merchant marine officers. He will be the
captain of the ship next month.
• A comma splice is committed when a writer uses a comma without the
proper connective. This, according to Tiempo and Tiempo, "destroys the
unity of the sentence". (Tiempo & Tiempo, 1980) The sample sentence
below looks almost the same with the sample run-on sentence. The only
difference is the fact that the sentence uses a comma to divide the two
independent clauses.

The crowd cheered loudly when the band emerged from the backstage, Eric
stood quietly.

Fused Sentences
The bus stopped suddenly. I spilled coffee all over my shirt.
Mario told everyone in the room to be quiet his favorite show was on.
In other run-ons, known as comma splices, a comma is used to connect, or “splice"
together, the two complete thoughts. Some stronger connection than a comma alone is
needed.

Comma Splices
The bus stopped suddenly, I spilled coffee all over my shirt.
Mario told everyone in the room to be quiet, his favorite show was on.

C. Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers

We often use phrases to describe words within sentences, and we determine the meaning
of our sentences by placing these descriptive phrases next to the words they point to or
“modify.” For example, the sentence, “I saw a boy running down the street,” indicates
that the “boy" was doing the running. However, if we wrote, “Running down the street, I
saw the boy,” we would be suggesting to readers that “I” was doing the running.

Misplaced Modifier
Sometimes we become careless and place descriptive phrases far away from the words
they modify, making our sentences unclear or inaccurate. We call these phrases
misplaced modifiers. For example, in “I was told that I had been awarded the scholarship
by my professor," does the underlined phrase mean that the professor did the telling or
the awarding? If the professor did the telling, we could make the meaning of this sentence
clearer by repositioning the phrase: “I was told by my professor that I had been awarded
the scholarship.”
Dangling Modifiers
Other times we write descriptive phrases that point to or modify words that are not
clearly stated in our sentences, making our sentences illogical. We call these phrases
dangling modifiers. For example, in "Walking to college on a subzero morning, my left ear
became frozen,” the underlined phrase modifies "my left ear.” This doesn’t make sense;
some person must have been doing the walking. We can clarify the sentence by putting a
logical word after the phrase: for example, “Walking to college on a subzero morning, I
froze my left ear.” Or, we can change the phrase so that it has a logical subject and verb
in it: “When I was walking to college on a subzero morning, my left ear became frozen.'’

Examples of Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers

1. On July 20, 1969, American astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin "Buzz” Aldrin landed
on the moon, watched by nearly a fifth of the world’s population.
Revision
Watched by nearly a fifth of the world’s population, American astronauts Neil
Armstrong and Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin landed on the moon on July 20,1969.

(The world was not watching the moon; the world was watching the astronauts.)

2. After seeing the benefits of reduced employee turnover, absenteeism, and lateness,
onsite daycare, is being provided more frequently as a perk for working parents.
Revision
3. After seeing the benefits of reduced employee turnover, absenteeism, and lateness,
more and more companies are providing onsite daycare as a perk for working parents.

(Onsite daycare is not seeing the benefits of reduced turnover, absenteeism, and
lateness; companies are seeing these benefits as a result of onsite daycare.)

4. An author who did not receive much attention until after her death, readers of all ages
enjoy Emily Dickinson’s poetry today.
or
Readers of all ages enjoy Emily Dickinson’s poetry today, an author who did not
receive much attention until after her death.
Revision
Today, readers of all ages enjoy the poetry of Emily Dickinson, an author who did not
receive much attention until after her death.

(The phrase, an author who did not receive much attention until after her death, should
modify Emily Dickinson rather than readers or Emily Dickinson’s poetry.)

5. Cost-efficient and convenient, many of today’s corporate employees are being trained
through computer-assisted instruction.
Revision
Cost-efficient and convenient, computer-assisted instruction is being used by many
companies to train employees.

(The descriptive words, cost-efficient and convenient, modify computer-assisted

instruction rather than today's corporate employees.)
 6. Having submitted the conference registration form after the deadline, special
permission by the chairperson was needed before she could give her presentation.
Revision
Having submitted the conference registration form after the deadline, Susan needed
special permission from the chairperson before she could give her presentation.

(The example doesn’t make sense as it is written. Someone must have submitted the form
late. According to the revision, Susan submitted the form late.)

7. When purchasing a cellular phone, the wide variety of calling plans and features
overwhelms many people.
Revision
When purchasing a cellular phone, many people become overwhelmed by the wide
variety of calling plans and features.

(The calling plans and features aren’t purchasing cellular phones. People purchase cellular
phones.)

D. Faulty Parallelism
Words in a pair or series should have parallel structure. By balancing the items in a pair
or series so that they have the same kind of structure, you will make the sentences clearer
and easier to read .

Nonparallel (Not Balanced)

My job includes checking the inventories, initialing the order, and to call the
suppliers.
Parallel/Balanced
My job includes checking the inventory, initializing the orders, and calling the
suppliers.
(A balanced series of -in g words: checking, initialling, calling

Nonparallel (Not Balanced)

The game -show contestant was told to be cheerful, charming, and with
enthusiasm.
Parallel/Balanced
The game -show contestant was told to be cheerful, charming, and enthusiastic.
(A balanced series of descriptive words: cheerful, charming, enthusiastic)

Nonparallel (Not Balanced)

Grandmother likes to read mystery novels, to do needle point, and browsing the
Internet on her home computer.
Parallel/Balanced
Grandmother likes to read mystery novels, to do needle point, and to browse the
Internet on her home computer.
(A balanced series of to verbs: to read, to do, to browse)

Nonparallel (Not Balanced)

We painted the trim in the living room; the wallpaper was put up by a professional.
Parallel/Balanced
We painted the trim in the living room; a professional put up the wallpaper.
 (Balanced verbs and word order: We painted. ,.;a professional put up. ..)

E. Faulty Coordination
The Coordinating Conjunction
Coordinating conjunctions connect words, phrases, and clauses. And, but, for, nor, or, so,
and yet— these are the seven coordinating conjunctions.
Look at the examples that follow:
1. The bowl of squid eyeball stew is hot and delicious.
2. The squid eyeball stew is so thick that you can eat it with a fork or spoon.
3. Rocky, my orange tomcat, loves having his head scratched but hates getting his claws
trimmed.
4. Rocky terrorizes the poodles next door yet adores the German shepherd across the
street.
5. Rocky refuses to eat dry cat food, nor will he touch a saucer of squid eyeball stew.
6. I hate to waste a single drop of squid eyeball stew, for it is expensive and time-
consuming to make.
7. Even though I added cream to the squid eyeball stew, Rocky ignored his serving, so I
got a spoon and ate it myself.

F. Subordination
Subordination, however, emphasizes the idea in the main clause more than the one in
the subordinate clause. Generally, the patterns look like these:

Punctuate coordinating conjunctions correctly.

Three patterns in writing use coordinating conjunctions. Add commas when required.

Pattern 1 — Connecting two main clauses

When you connect two main clauses with a coordinating conjunction, use a comma. The
pattern looks like this:

Here is an example:
While I am at work, my dog Floyd sleeps on the bed , and my cat Buster naps in
the bathtub.

Pattern 2 — Connecting two items

You can also use a coordinating conjunction to connect any two items. These items can
be any grammatical unit except main clauses. The pattern looks like this:
 Here are some examples:
My dog Floyd has too many fleas and too much hair.

My cat Buster has beautiful blue eyes but a destructive personality.

Pattern 3 — Connecting three or more items in a series

When you have three or more items in a series, you generally use a comma before the
coordinating conjunction. Some handbooks and style guides will tell you that this comma is
optional, but my advice is to put it in. The pattern looks like this:

Here is an example:
Swatting olives off the kitchen counter, dragging toilet paper streamers through the
house, and terrorizing Jacques Cousteau, the parakeet, have consumed another of
Buster’s days.

Subordinating Conjunctions
A subordinating conjunction joins a subordinate clause to a main clause.

An adverb clause is always introduced by a subordinating conjunction.

A noun clause and adjective clause sometimes are.
Adverb clause: Before you go, sign the log book.
Noun clause: He asked if he could leave early.
Adjective clause: That is the place where he was last seen.

A subordinating conjunction is always followed by a clause.

Many subordinating conjunctions can be other parts of speech.
Adverb: Jill came tumbling after.
Preposition: Jill came tumbling after Jack.
Subordinating Conjunction: Jill came tumbling after Jack had fallen.
II. THE TOPIC SENTENCE AND THE PARAGRAPH
A good paragraph contains several related sentences that support one main idea, which
is limited to and focused in one sentence. This sentence helps guide the reader through
the related sentence in the paragraph. The term used to identify this main idea is topic
sentence.

A topic sentence has two parts:

A topic (key word or phrase)
A direction or general word, which may be a conclusion an opinion, or a statement about
the topic.
For example, the following sentences could be topic sentences:
Doing housework can be very boring.
Browsing in a library is an exciting experience.
My trip to the botanical garden taught me a lot

You could use each one of these sentences as a topic sentence because each main idea is limited
to and focused into two essential parts: a topic (key word or phrase) and a general direction
(conclusion or opinion) about the topic:
 Topic Direction or General Word
Doing housework is very boring.
Browsing in a library is an exciting experience.

The paragraph
A paragraph has three parts:
1. a topic sentence
2. support sentences
3. a conclusion

The following is an example of a paragraph that has these three parts.

My blind date last night was a disaster. l got wet because just as I stopped to pick up my
date, it started raining, and she borrowed my raincoat. At dinner, she ate so much that i
had to use my next day’s lunch money to pay for her meal. I had a terrible time because
she could not dance. To make matters worse, I had a cut on my lip that hurt when I kissed
her. That’s the last blind date I will ever have.

Elements of a Strong Paragraph

Strong paragraphs need to have the following elements: completeness, logical or sensible order,
unity and coherence.

Completeness
A paragraph must have enough information in it to give the reader a clearer picture or a full
discussion of its main idea (the topic sentence). A paragraph without details or examples will be
vague and unconvincing. A paragraph that does not have enough information is called
incomplete or undeveloped.

Example of an undeveloped paragraph.

Dancing can be good exercise. It can be entertaining. It can be lots of fun as well. Dancing
can be very beneficial to everyone. Example of a complete paragraph: Dancing can be
good exercise. The constant arm and leg movements are like aerobics. They can be a really
good workout if the dance lasts long enough. If the dance requires lots of quick
movements, many calories can be used up, and more fat will be burned. Some dances
require movements that are like stretching, so flexibility and muscle tone will be
increased. Dancing can help maintain weight and can be beneficial exercise to everyone.

Logical Order
All the support sentences should be in clear, logical order. Sometimes the order of these
supporting details does not matter. Other times, however, it does matter because if the
sentences are not in logical order, the reader misses the main point of the paragraph.

Illogical Order
I opened the front door of my house and went inside.
I walked up the front steps to my front door.

Logical Order
I walked up the front steps to my front door.
I opened the front door of my house and went inside.
Unity
All sentences in a good paragraph relate to the topic sentence (main idea). When any idea doesn’t
relate specifically to the topic sentence, then that paragraph lacks unity or is not unified.

Example of a unified paragraph:

American scientists are working hard to gather facts about sea turtles called
leatherbacks. The observers work, no matter what the weather is like on clear days or in
pouring rain. They count the turtles as they come ashore. When the turtles lay their egg,
the scientists walk up and down the beaches for many hours at a time. They count the
eggs in the sand. Then, later, they count the eggs that hatch. These biologists know that
they are collecting information that will someday be important to other scientists.

Coherence
One of the most important considerations in writing a paragraph is coherence the way all the
sentences should be clearly connected to each other. Without connecting words or phrases,
supporting ideas may be hard to follow and sometimes may even seem to be unrelated to the
topic sentence and to each other.

The following paragraph has all the coherence it needs:

When Sue was a child, she learned from her dad how to be a hard worker. For example,
she always helped in the yard. Many times they mowed the lawn together. Sue emptied
the grass catcher (which her dad did not overfill), and he did the heavy part by lifting the
barrels full of grass. Working together, they did not quit until the job was done. She and
her dad worked even after the sun was gone, making sure the edges of the lawn were
neat. In this way, Sue learned to stay with a job until she had done well and could feel
proud of her effort.
The Thesis Statement

In a nutshell, a thesis statement:

• tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under
discussion.
• is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to expect from the
rest of the paper.
• directly answers the question asked of you. A thesis is an interpretation of a question or
subject, not the subject itself. The subject, or topic, of an essay, might be on Poverty or a
movie analysis; a thesis must then offer a way to understand the issue or the movie.
• makes a claim that others might dispute.
• is usually a single sentence somewhere in your first paragraph that presents your
argument to the reader. The rest of the paper, the body of the essay, gathers and
organizes evidence that will persuade the reader of the logic of your interpretation.
You can tell if your thesis is strong if you can answer the following:
• Do I answer the question? Re-reading the question prompt after constructing a working
thesis can help you fix an argument that misses the focus of the question.
• Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? If your thesis simply states
facts that no one would, or even could, disagree with, it’s possible that you are simply
providing a summary, rather than making an argument.
• Is my thesis statement specific enough? Thesis statements that are too vague often do
not have a strong argument.
• Does my thesis pass the "So what?” test? If a reader's first response is, “So what?” then
you need to clarify, to forge a relationship, or to connect to a larger issue.
• Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering? If your thesis and
the body of your essay do not seem to go together, one of them has to change.
• Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? If a reader’s first response is “how?” or
“why?" your thesis may be too open-ended and lack guidance for the reader

Broadly, thesis statements can be divided into 3 categories:

• Analytical: An analytical thesis basically provides a comprehensive insight to some
important issue and the tacts that are related to the issue plus the analytical aspects of
the same.
For example, “An analysis of the ferruginous hawk reveals two kinds of flight patterns:
patterns related to hunting prey and patterns related to courtship.”
• Expository: This is the simplest of all types of thesis, the expansionary thesis principally
puts forth some facts and simplified explanations regarding a specific idea, in front of the
people.
Example: Watching too much television may lead to physiological and psychological
problems.
• Argumentative: The third type is that of the argumentative thesis and presents
arguments between two viewpoints.
Example: Smoking should be banned in all public places.
III. PATTERNS OF PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT
There are various Writing Genres or Patterns of Paragraph Development, and each
pattern or genre has a specific function. Often, these genres are merged with each other
to make the written output more effective.

Narration
• Use narration to establish a series of events that tells the reader what happened.
Narration follows a chronological pattern of development. It is a convincing mode of
paragraph development to the extent that it tells a coherent story.

Descriptive Essay
• The descriptive essay reties on concrete, sensory detail to communicate its point.
• When writing a descriptive essay, writers should have a broad fund of modifiers, i.e.,
adjectives. Moreover, writers should be specific in using adjectives and other words that
would describe the topic, i.e., beautiful may be different from pretty, cute, gorgeous, etc.
 Process Essay
• A process essay may either be “How to do” or “How something works”
• In a “How to do” essay the objective of the writer is to tell the reader how a certain
product is produced. Most often, this type of essay uses the first person point of view
because it “demonstrates” how something is does to the reader, (e.g. How to apply for
the Fulbright Scholarship Grant)

Comparison-Contrast
• A comparison-contrast essay presents the relationship between two items; this may be
in the form of similarities and differences.
• This essay may be organized by using either the “point-by-point organization” or the
“block organization”
• In the “block organization”, the focus is on the two topics.
•

Cause-Effect
• The cause-effect essay presents the reasons or results for something.
• There are two possible ways to outline a cause-effect essay: (a) single cause, multiple
effects or (b) multiple causes, single effect.
 Argumentative
• An argumentative essay presents premises and conclusions regarding an issue. It presents
the writer’s stand—-whether he/she agrees or not. However, it should be noted that an
argumentative essay is different from an opinion simply because an argumentative essay
shows evidences and support details, while most opinions are based on beliefs and
personal ideologies.
• Premises are reasons that support conclusions, while a conclusion is the key assertion, or
claim.