GEN 002: Understanding The Self

Module #15 Student Activity Sheet

Lesson title: Healthy interaction with Materials:

others Student Activity Sheet
1. The SELF and family
2. The SELF and friends Reference/s:
3. The SELF and “strangers” http://www.vitanova.co.za/Articles/TabId/877/ArtMID/2636/ArticleID
4. Online Self Vs Offline Self
/100/Social-Needs-%E2%80%93-Our-need-for-interaction-and-
contact-with-friends-and-family-Part-one.aspx
Lesson Objectives: At the end of the
lesson, Students are expected to: https://books.google.com.ph/books?isbn=0761929371
1. Identify the role of family and friends http://empoweredbythem.blogspot.com/2012/09/personal-
to a depressed person. boundaries.html
2. Recognize his/her own personal http://family.jrank.org/pages/1476/Self-Esteem-Family-Interaction-
boundaries and understand Self-Esteem.html
the importance of healthy interaction https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-friendship-
with others. doctor/201110/five-ways-friends-help-build-our-self-confidence
3. Understand the Self with strangers https://sibika.ph/
and detect who are safe strangers https://www.cmasas.org/online-vs-offline-self-who-real-you
and those who are not.
4. Social Media Consciousness

A. LESSON PREVIEW

Introduction (2 mins)

A pleasant day to everyone! How are you? Hope you’re doing well with your studies! Did you do an advance
reading in today’s lessons? It’s all about healthy interactions with others.

� Are you friendly? Do you have online friends aside from your friends who you see regularly?
� Do you have a good relationship with your family and friends?

Are you excited to learn? Let’s start our lesson!

B. MAIN LESSON

Content Notes (13 mins)

You can make use of a highlighter to highlight important details in the text. This will help you study
effectively.

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Module #15 Student Activity Sheet

Having friends increases one’s

The first primary group that we An individual’s anxiety tends
self-esteem and confidence;
experience. The place where some to be high when he/she
Five ways that friends can help
of our most important identities interacts with strangers which
build your self-confidence
takes shape (e.g. male/female, is perceived as stigmatized.
Friends cheer our successes;
boys/girls son/daughter and Stigmatized individuals have a
Friends model new ways of
sister/brother) Assessment of role social identity that is devalued
being- every friends has
performance based on these in a particular social context;
some strengths or skills that
identities become early source of Anxiety will occur most
help us strive to do things a
self-esteem. Mead’s (1934) frequently with people we
better way;
discussion of the early stages of have never met before; and
Friends support every effort
role-playing, role-taking and The anxiety we experience
to grow;
processes essential in the interacts with the situation
Friends wipe out our tears
development of the self, occur which the interaction takes
away; and
within the context of family place to influence our
Friends teach us the value of
interactions. reactions with strangers.
teamwork

Social Needs – Our need for interaction and contact with

friends and family

All people have the need for emotional and interpersonal

relationships with other people. We were born to interact with
others – we are mammalian creatures. In order to avoid problems
such as loneliness, depression, and anxiety, it is important for
people to feel loved and accepted by other people. Personal relationships with friends, family and our partners
play an important role in our day to day functioning. During this article I will talk about our social needs and
how the differences in our social needs can lead to all kinds of communication issues.

Some of the things that can satisfy our social needs include romantic relationships, friendships and family. I will
start this article by talking about friendship. The word friendship can mean different things to different people.
The number of friends and the number of interactions with these friends will also differ for each of us. Making

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friends is something that might come easy for some yet is quite difficult for others. Good friends support you
and give you a platform to be yourself. The amount of social interaction you will need will depend on
you. Once you enter into a relationship, your need for individuality and friendships will not just go away,
especially if you are a very social person. Locking yourself away from friends could do more harm to you
relationship than good.

One of the biggest challenges for couples is to determine how to spend their time. Because we are so busy with
work, we spend less and less time with our family and friends. I am of the opinion that you need to spend time
with yourself, with your family and with your friends. Try to find a healthy balance. I believe that as long as
time apart from your partner does not surpass your time together, spending time with friends is recommended.

During my work with couples, the first problem I encounter with regards to friends is a lack of good
boundaries. You should always remember that people don't have the same boundaries as you. Time with your
friends is important but within acceptable boundaries. Never spend more time with your friends than with your
family. Make sure that the boundaries are reasonable and clear.

The second problem that we encounter is when couples have friends of the opposite sex. It is not recommended
to spend time with friends who you know make your spouse feel uncomfortable – especially if you have friends
of the opposite sex. There can be some high risk areas to avoid. Make sure that you put in clear boundaries with
your friends of the opposite sex. Your number one priority is towards your family. Respect for your relationship
is very important and should never take a back seat.

As a couple it is very important to spend time with each other – quality time. We live in very busy times, and
sometimes we put all our needs aside to take care of work, forgetting that we need to spend quality time with
our partner and children. When you feel that you and your partner spend enough time together, time spent with
friends is more welcomed. You need to make social time for you and your partner to have fun together. You
also need to make time to spend with your children and to have fun as a family. FUN is a very important part of
social interaction and the value of fun should never be overlooked. Also make sure to spend the right amount
of time with yourself.

Remember that as mammalian creatures we need to be part of a group. Isolation from family and friends can
cause harm to your relationship because we need interaction between us and society. With healthy boundaries,
the interaction can be supportive and loving and it can aid to the happiness in your relationship. A word of
caution: don’t let too many people have an impact on your relationship. Too many opinions can only make
things more difficult.

Remember that their opinions and advice can be very subjective and might not be best for you. I would now like
you to take a moment to think about your friends. What does the word friendship mean to you? How many
friends do you have? Are they single or in relationships? Are you currently not spending time with friends, or
are you still going out regularly? Do you go out as a couple or alone? You should also ask yourself whether
your current friendships are life giving or life taking to your romantic relationship. If it’s not life giving you are
going to have to change it. Make sure that you and your partner talk about your social needs. Be sure what you

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 GEN 002: Understanding The Self
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and your partner need – if your needs are not the same, try to negotiate a midway so that both people’s needs
can be met.

Online Self vs The Offline Self: Who is the real you?

“Our generation is stuck in this unique position of trying to create ourselves. As if growing up and making sense
of the world wasn’t enough, we have this second space where we are forging our identities, one where no
generation before us has set the rules.”

You scroll through your Facebook news feed, taking in all the smiling faces, the gorgeous pictures of far-away
travels, the food you’d like to steal through the screen, and yes, it must be said, the myriad of selfie-induced
duck lips. As you scroll, you suddenly feel the grungy stickiness of inadequacy adhering to your skin. You have
no photos to share, no new place to go, your dinner is a cheese sandwich, and your duck-lip looks more like a
sea mollusk.

Today, we have the opportunity to be more connected with the world than we ever have before. This is a
beautiful thing, and an invitation to practice authenticity and mindfulness. Unfortunately, what we are not
always aware of is that the portrait of humanity seen through selfies and screenshots is not real life. It is a
curation. This phenomenon of curating two dueling personas is what philosophers call: The Divided Self.

“While we can share more of ourselves online than ever previously possible, we choose not to. Instead, we
curate.”

Much like an upscale art gallery, we choose what pictures to post, what moments to snap, what statuses to
share. We edit and filter, and why not? In a world where we’re struggling to make our place, we want to-- to
borrow an old adage-- put our best foot forward. There’s nothing wrong with this. So long as we are aware that
what most people propagate online is merely a highlight reel. It has been rigged to appear perfect. As such, it
should not be used as a measuring stick when comparing ourselves to others.

Many young people today find themselves creating two completely different personas: one for online, one for
off. This Division of Self splits the mind, creating a state of uneasiness, one where we never quite feel grounded
in our own person. The more we see the carefully curated reel, the more we begin to believe that that is how our
life should be. It’s similar to hearing the success stories of your heroes without seeing the years of toil and
failures it took to get there: we only see the instant success, and therefore, begin to believe that we, as mere
mortals, could never achieve such greatness. (When, in fact, there is magic hidden within all of us.)

So how can we avoid this Division of Self? While some may choose to delete all social media apps from their
phone, this is unrealistic for most of us. After all, we like connecting with people all around the world. It’s
amazing! The universe is online, and there is incredible beauty to be found at the click of a button. The solution
is simple, although harder to achieve: much like Artificial Intelligence in every Sci-Fi movie ever, you must

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simply become aware. (Cue the Twilight Zone theme song.)

Heed the call to live an authentic life and embrace your inherent awesomeness. It is authenticity that most
attracts us to others: when we see someone’s true self, we connect to them in a way that is deeper than
superficial admiration.

“We should be authentic online, but know that behind the highlight reel, we’re all beautifully imperfect.”

Let’s embrace it.

Check for Understanding (5 mins)

You are doing well! Next, you need to answer the activity below. This will assess your learning about the
lesson.

Comple the profile below by describing your online and offline self.

C. LESSON WRAP-UP

Frequently Asked Questions

Since we know you have

questions about this lesson, we write an
itemand answer it on your behalf so it
will be clear to you. Please read the
following questions and the
corresponding answers to it.

Q: Is social media true?

A: No. Social media is not even close to
reality. It only shows a the “good” in a
life of a person, snippets. Things may
seem perfect but is not. It’s an illusion.
Though it is hard to stay away from
social media, it is not bad to take a break
from time to time. Especially when it
affects your mental health. Do not
believe everything you see on the
internet.

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Thinking about Learning (5 mins)

A). Learning Tracker
As part of the learning tracker, we prepared some questions to reflect on, please carefully read the
question below and give your honest answer.

What felt confusing about what you learned today?

Did you have challenges in today’s learning? How did you overcome those challenges?

Job well done; you have reached the end of this module! We are looking forward to more meaningful learning
with you.

KEY TO CORRECTIONS

Answer may vary from one person to another.

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