Result

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990
to 2012
The line graph illustrates the proportion of Australia’s goods exported to four markets
including Japan, the U.S., China, and India from 1990 to 2012. Overall, the percentage of
products that China imported escalated, otherwise the rest three countries had lower imports
from Australia after the year 2000. From 1990 to 2000, Japan and the U.S. were the two
bigger markets which covered more than a quarter and more than 10% of Australian goods
exported in 1990, respectively. In contrast, China and India just imported a small volume of
Australian merchandise, around 2-3% in India and 3-5% in China from 1990 to 2000. After
the year 2000, there was a significant change in the rank of countries that Australia exported
to. China witnessed a substantial surge and became the largest market for imported
Australia products in 2012. Covering 30%, the number of Australian products exported in
China was more than 6 times of those in the U.S. and India and more than roughly 12%
compared to Japan's share.
Task Achievement
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by presenting an overview of the
trends in Australian exports to four countries from 1990 to 2012. It covers the main trends,
mentioning the rise in China's importation and the decrease in exports to the other three
countries after 2000. The essay highlights key features by specifying percentages and
changes in export quantities over time.
How to improve: To enhance the Task Achievement score, consider expanding on the
explanation of the trends. Provide more specific data where possible, especially concerning
the declines in exports to Japan, the US, and India after 2000. Additionally, focus on a more
structured presentation and precision in language to avoid ambiguity and improve clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally clear organization of ideas with a

discernible overall progression. The introduction effectively introduces the topic, and there is
a reasonable attempt at paragraphing. The essay provides a logical overview of the data and
compares the export percentages of Australia to four countries over the specified period.
The information is presented chronologically, and the conclusion summarizes the key trends.
However, there are areas that prevent it from achieving a higher score. The use of cohesive
devices is effective to some extent, but there are instances where cohesion within sentences
is faulty or mechanical. For example, in the second paragraph, the phrase "percentage of
products that China imported escalated, otherwise" lacks clarity and coherence. Additionally,
there is room for improvement in referencing and substitution. Clearer referencing of
pronouns or synonyms could enhance overall cohesion.
Paragraphing is used, but it is not always logical. The third paragraph could be improved by
breaking it down into smaller, more focused paragraphs for better coherence and emphasis
on specific points.
How to improve:
Pay attention to the use of cohesive devices, ensuring they enhance clarity and logical
progression. Review sentences for potential improvements in phrasing and coherence.
Work on referencing and substitution to enhance clarity. Avoid ambiguous expressions that
may hinder comprehension.
Consider restructuring paragraphs for better logical flow and focus. Each paragraph should
ideally address a specific aspect of the data or analysis.
Overall, with attention to these areas, the essay has the potential to improve its coherence
and cohesion, moving towards a higher band score.
Lexical Resource
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some

flexibility and precision, meeting the criteria for Band 7. The writer employs a mix of common
and less common lexical items, with an attempt at style and collocation awareness. The
essay effectively communicates the key information from the graph, describing trends and
changes over time. However, there are occasional errors in word choice, and some
sentences could be more complex for a higher band score.
How to improve: To move to a higher band score, the writer can focus on using a wider
range of vocabulary with greater precision. This can be achieved by incorporating more
sophisticated and varied terms relevant to the context. Additionally, the writer should aim for
more complex sentence structures to enhance fluency and convey ideas with even greater
clarity. Proofreading for occasional errors in word choice will also contribute to achieving a
higher band score.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation

throughout, with a variety of complex structures used effectively. The writer effectively
conveys the information about the percentage of Australian exports to four countries from
1990 to 2012. The essay is generally free from errors, and any mistakes are minor, not
significantly affecting communication.
How to Improve: To move towards a higher band score, consider incorporating a wider
range of sentence structures for added complexity. Additionally, pay close attention to
precision in expressing quantities and relationships. Proofreading can further eliminate minor
errors and enhance overall clarity. Overall, continue to strive for full flexibility and accuracy in
grammatical usage to achieve a Band 8 score.
Bài chữa tham khảo
The provided line graph delineates the distribution of Australian exports to four key nations—
Japan, the US, China, and India—over the period spanning from 1990 to 2012. Overall, the
proportion of goods exported to China exhibited a remarkable surge, whereas the other
three countries witnessed a decline in imports from Australia after the year 2000.
Between 1990 and 2000, Japan and the US emerged as the dominant markets, constituting
more than a quarter and over 10% of Australian exports in 1990, respectively. In stark
contrast, China and India accounted for a modest share of Australian merchandise,
approximately 2-3% in India and 3-5% in China during the same period.
Post-2000, a noteworthy shift occurred in the hierarchy of countries receiving Australian

exports. China underwent a substantial surge and emerged as the primary destination for
Australian products by 2012. Covering 30% of the total, the volume of Australian goods
exported to China surpassed that of the US and India by more than sixfold and exceeded
approximately 12% of the exports to Japan.

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The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990

Coherence & Cohesion

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally clear organization of ideas with a

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation

Post-2000, a noteworthy shift occurred in the hierarchy of countries receiving Australian

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