A Highway to Humor

Part 1

Take Actioners

Based on shakespearean and modern screenplays

Org. Liev Carlos

 Cast of Characters
__________________

JULLIETA:
________ Karol Xavier

MARTHA:
______ Emilly Lopes

GEORGE:
______ Jhulio Nascimento

CLEOPATRA:
_________ Sarah Morgana

MARK ANTHONY:
____________ Arthur Torres
 1.

ACT I
_____

Scene 1
_______

Jullieta and George are onstage. She's at the

center, He's upstage-right holding his brandy.
Both are just standing. At Their seats are
Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, watching stolidly.

JULLIETA

O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father and refuse thy name.

(George comes nearer her.)

Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love

And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy:

Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.

What's Montague? It is nor hand nor foot

Nor arm nor face nor any other... part

Belonging to a man.

(Jullieta looks at him with a smirky face)

O be some other name.

What's in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet;

So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,

Retain that dear perfection which he owes

Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,

And for that name, which is no part of thee,

Take all myself.

Jullieta leaves to upstage

 2.

Martha busts through the door.

MARTHA
I actually fell for him... It. That. There...

GEORGE
Martha's a romantic at heart.

MARTHA
That I am. So I actually fell for him. And the match
seemed practical too. You know, Daddy was looking for
someone to-

GEORGE
Just a minute, Martha...

MARTHA
-take over, some time, when he was ready to-

GEORGE
(Stony) Just a minute, Martha.

MARTHA
-retire, and so I thought...

GEORGE
STOP IT, MARTHA!

MARTHA
(Irritated) Whadda you want?!

GEORGE
(Too patiently) I'd thought you were telling the
story of our courtship, Martha... I didn't know you
were going to start in on the other business.

MARTHA
(So-thereish) Well, I am!

GEORGE
I wouldn't, if I were you.

MARTHA
Oh... You wouldn't? Well, you're not!

GEORGE
Now, you've already sprung a leak about you-know-
what.

MARTHA
What? What?
 3.

GEORGE
About the apple of our eye... the sprout... the
little bugger, our son, and if you start in on this
other business, I warn you, Martha, it's going to
make me angry.

MARTHA
(Laughing at him) Oh, it is, is it?

GEORGE
(Firmly) I warn you.

MARTHA
(Incredulous) You what?

GEORGE
(Very quietely) I warn you.

MARTHA
I stand warned! (to her audience) So, anyway I
married the S.O.B., and I had it all planned out...
He was the groom, he was going to be groomed. He'd
take over someday... first, he'd take over the
History Department, and then, when Daddy retired,
he'd take over the college, you know? That's the way
it was supposed to be. (To George, who is ashemed)
You getting angry, Baby? Hunh? (Back to the audience)
That's the way it was supposed to be. And Daddy
seemed to think it was a good idea too. For a while.
Until he watched for a couple of years (To George
again) You getting angrier? (Now back) Until he
watched for a couple of years and started thinking
maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all... that
maybe Georgie boy didn't have the stuff... that he
didn't have it in him!

GEORGE
Stop it, Martha.

MARTHA
(Viciously triumphant) The hell I will! You see,
George didn't have much push, he wasn't particularly
aggressive... In fact, he was a sort of a... (spits
the word at George's back)... FLOP! A great, big,
fat, FLOP!

George crashes his drink at the table, facing

back the audience. There is silence. Everyone is
frozen. Then...)
 4.

GEORGE
I said stop.

MARTHA
I hope that wasn't an empty bottle, George. you can't
afford to waste good liquor. Not on your salary, not
on a teacher's salary.

Martha sits. Applause.

END OF ACT I.
 5.

ACT II
______

Scene 1
_______

Cleopatra, who's been watching the whole show

stands up imponently. Mark Anthony is right
behind her, George is with his back turned to
the audience.

CLEOPATRA

No more but e'en a woman, and commanded

By such poor passion (looks at Martha) as the maid that

milks

And does the meanest chares. It were for me

To throw my scepter at the injurious gods,

To tell them that this world did equal theirs

Till they had stol'n our jewel. All's but naught.

Patience is sottish, and impatience does

Become a dog that's mad. Then is it sin

To rush into the secret house of death

Ere death dare come to us? How do you, women?

What, what, good cheer! Why, how now, Charmian?

My noble girls! Ah, women, women! Look,

Our lamp is spent; it's out. Good sirs, take heart.

We'll bury him; and then, what's brave, what's noble,

Let's do't after the high Roman fashion,

And make death proud to take us. Come, away.

This case of that huge spirit now is cold.

Ah women, women! Come, we have no friend

But resolution and the briefest end.

Leaves and sits beside Martha.

 6.

Mark Anthony comes forward and plays his speech.

MARK ANTHONY

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones;

So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus

Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it.

Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest-

For Brutus is an honourable man;

So are they all, all honourable men-

Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral.

He was my friend, faithful and just to me:

But Brutus says he was ambitious;

And Brutus is an honourable man.

He hath brought many captives home to Rome

Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:

Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?

When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:

Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;

And Brutus is an honourable man.

You all did see that on the Lupercal

I thrice presented him a kingly crown,

 7.

Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;

And, sure, he is an honourable man.

I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,

But here I am to speak what I do know.

You all did love him once, not without cause:

What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?

O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,

And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;

My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,

And I must pause till it come back to me.

Mark Anthony is still standing. George who was

listening facing the wall, walks towards him,
touches his shoulder, now assuming his
personality. First Mark Anthony goes upstage and
watches the speech.

MARK ANTHONY

O, pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth,

That I am meek and gentle with these butchers!

Thou art the ruins of the noblest man

That ever lived in the tide of times.

Woe to the hand that shed this costly blood!

Over thy wounds now do I prophesy,-

Which, like dumb mouths, do ope their ruby lips,

To beg the voice and utterance of my tongue-

A curse shall light upon the limbs of men;

Domestic fury and fierce civil strife

Shall cumber all the parts of Italy;

 8.

Blood and destruction shall be so in use

And dreadful objects so familiar

That mothers shall but smile when they behold

Their infants quarter'd with the hands of war;

All pity choked with custom of fell deeds:

And Caesar's spirit, ranging for revenge,

With Ate by his side come hot from hell,

Shall in these confines with a monarch's voice

Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war;

That this foul deed shall smell above the earth

With carrion men, groaning for burial.

Everyone stands, goes center-stage. Curtain

call. Final Bow.

END OF PLAY.

:)