CHAPTER NINE

INTRA-PERSONAL AND INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

9.1 Self-concept and self-awareness
Self: is a reflexive phenomenon that develops in social interaction and is based on the social
character of human beings.
I. Self-concept
 is the concept the individual has of himself/herself as a physical social and spiritual or
moral being. It is composed of relatively permanent self-assessments that of course
changes overtime. Multi-dimensional construct refers to an individual’s perception of
“self” in relation to a number of characteristics such as gender roles, racial identity and
many others.
II. Self-awareness: is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths,
weakness, thoughts, beliefs, motivation and emotions.
High self-awareness can be a solid predicator of good success in life. Knowing your strength and
weakness, opening your mind to new perspectives and practicing mindfulness are some core
points to start building self-awareness.
9.2 Self-esteem and Self-confidence
I. Self-esteem
− It is the matrix through which we think, feel and act, reflects and determines our relation
to ourselves, to others and to the world.
− It is an emotional appraisal of our own worth.
− It refers to an individual’s overall self-evaluation. It’s the extent to which we perceive
ourselves to be two distinct types of self-esteem, one based on a sense of competency and
the other on virtue or moral worth.
There are two distinct types of self-esteem, one based on a sense of competency and the other on
virtue or moral worth.
II. Self-confidence
 Is the belief in oneself and abilities, which describes an internal state, made up of
what we think and feel about ourselves.
Sometimes people use self-confidence and courage interchangeably but they have a difference.
In the absence of confidence, courage takes over. Confidence operates in the realm of the known;
while courage in that of the unknown, the uncertain and the fearsome it’s a nobler attribute than
confidence because it requires greater strength.
9.3 Self-control
 Is achieved by refraining from actions we like and instead performing actions we
prefer not to do as a means of achieving a long term goal.
9.4 Anger Management
Anger: is a state of emotion where a person is irritated by block of interests, loss of possession or
threats to personality.
Anger is more likely to occur when tired, hungry, sick, confused, anxious, preoccupied,
distracted, or overwhelmed.
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So, in order to control one’s anger
 Try to exercise
 Strive to understand other people’s perspectives
 Try to see the complexity of the issue
 Focus on improving and repairing rather than blaming etc. are some ways of anger
management.
9.5 Emotional Intelligence and Managing Emotion
Emotional Intelligence
 Is a self-perceived ability to identify asses and manage the emotions of one’s self,
others, and groups.
There are five domains of emotional intelligence: Personal(self-awareness, self-regulation, and
self-motivation) and social(social awareness and social skills) competences.
9.6 Stress, Coping with Stress and Resilience
I. Stress
 Is the psychological perception of pressure of pressure and the body’s response to it.
There are three categories of stressors: catastrophes, significant life changes and daily
life events.
 Catastrophes: are unpredictable, large scale events, such as war and natural disasters that
nearly everyone appraises as threatening
 Significant life changes: the death of a loved one, loss of a job, marriage divorce etc. Life
transitions and insecurities are often keenly felt during young adulthood.
 Daily life events: this principle works for both positive and negative events.
II. Coping with Stress
There are two ways of dealing with stress: problem focused and emotion focused.
Problem focused: is when we feel a sense of control over a situation and think we can change
the circumstance or change ourselves.
Emotion focused: is when we cannot handle the problem or believe that we cannot change a
situation.
III. Resilience
 Is about getting through pain and disappointment without letting them crush your
spirit.
A positive attitude, optimist, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a
form of helpful feedback are some resilience strategies.
9.7 Critical and Creative Thinking
Critical thinking is a purposeful, self-regulating judgment which results in interpretation
analysis, evaluation and inference, as well as explanation of the evidential, conceptual,
methodological, contextual considerations upon which the judgment is based.
Critical thinking skills includes decision making problem, solving skills and information
gathering skills.

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Critical thinking is seen as analytic. It means for arriving at judgments within a given framework
or context. While creative thinking is seen as imaginable, constructive and generative.

9.8 Problem Solving and Decision Making

I. Problem Solving
 Is a process in which we perceive and resolve a gap between a present situation and a
desired goal, with the path to the goal blocked by known or unknown obstacles.
There are two classes of problems: those that are considered well defined and others that are
considered ill defined.
Well defined problems: are those problems whose goals, path to solution and obstacles to
solution are clear based on the information given.
Ill-defined problems: are characterized by their lack of a clear path to the goal.
II. Decision Making
 Is a selection process where one or two or more possible solutions is chosen to reach
a defined goal.

CHAPTER TEN
ACADEMIC SKILLS
10.1 Time management
 Is the ability to plan and control how someone spends the hours in a day to
accomplish his or her goals effectively.
Time: is a communal non-renewable resource for all human beings but abused by many
individuals.
− Wise utilization of time is very beneficial for success, happiness and peace of mind.
Good time management is essential to success at university.
− Planning your time allows you to spread your work, over sessions, avoid a jam of works
and cope with study stress.
− People who practice good time management techniques often find that they are more
productive; less stressed, and have more energy for things they need to accomplish.
10.2 Note taking and Study skills
Staying organized while taking notes is just as important as studying. There are several strategies
which will help you stay organized and take good notes. Before class determine the lecture topic
and review past reading and notes, during class make your notes brief and focus on the main
points and immediately after class, remain in the classroom or find a quite space close by and
review notes, instead of recopying your notes, record yourself reviewing what you wrote because
speaking out loud is an interactive process that leads to more in-depth understanding.

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Common Note Taking Methods
There are three major note-taking methods.
 Cornell Method: is a systematic and simple method for note taking that breaks the
note page into three sections (Cue column, note-taking column and summary). This
allows for organized recording and review of the main points during lecture while
reading a text book.
 Outlining: is recording the main ideas of the lecture to the left margin of the page in
our exercise book.
 Charting: is a good strategy for courses that require comparisons/contrasts of
specific dates, places, people, events, importance and how the information relates.
10.3 Test-Taking Skill
Depending on what students think is right; they prepare themselves for tests and approach the
tests. Some of these suggestions can help students in doing tests.
 Attend all classes
 Take organized and clear lecture notes
 Ask questions to increase your understanding of course material
 Examine previous tests to ascertain what you did well and what you did not do so well
 Use SQ3R(Survey, Question, Read, Revise and Recite) style

10.4 Test Anxiety and Overcoming Test Anxiety

Test anxiety: is a negative mood state characterized by bodily symptoms of physical tension and
by apprehension about a test/exam going to take place in the future.
Students with test anxiety will experience rushes of adrenaline before and throughout their test.
Adrenaline blocks the brain from thinking and triggers flight/fight responses.
Severe test anxiety can cause a host of problems in students; the symptoms of severe test anxiety
may include physical, emotional, behavioral and cognitive test anxiety.
In order to reduce test anxiety, students should exercise realistic thinking. Realistic thinking
means looking at all aspects of situations (the positive, negative and neutral) before making
conclusions.
The following are steps of realistic thinking that can be applied to reduce test-anxiety:
 Step 1: Pay attention to your self-talk
 Step 2: Identify thoughts that lead to feelings of anxiety
 Step 3: Challenge “anxious” thinking
10.5 Goal Setting
 Is the process imagining, planning and implementing the big picture of one’s destination.
Goal setting gives some one direction and motivation, as well as increasing satisfaction and self-
confidence in their performance.

Some important purposes of goal setting include:

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  Guide and direct behavior
 Reflect on what the goal setters consider important
 Help to improve performance
 Helps to decrease negative attitude
10.6 Career Development Skill
Career: is how individuals live their lives across different contexts and settings, including
education, work, family and leisure time.
Career development: is a lifelong continuous process of planning implementing and managing
one’s learning, work and leisure in order to achieve life objectives.
Career management skill: are competencies which help individuals to identify their existing
skills develop career learning goals and take action to enhance their careers.

CHAPTER ELEVEN
SOCIAL SKILLS
Culture: is the criteria with which we evaluate everything around us.
Ethnicity, nationality, gender, religion, occupation, political affiliation, skin color, profession and
others can define our identity.
Cultural diversity helps us recognize and respect “ways of being” that are not necessarily ours.
People from diverse cultures contribute language skills, new ways of thinking, new knowledge
and different experiences.
The term “culturally diverse” is often used interchangeably with the concept of
“multiculturalism’
Multiculturalism: is a system of beliefs and behaviors that recognizes and respects the presence
of all diverse groups in an organization or society. It acknowledges and values their socio-
cultural differences and encourages and enables their continued contribution.
11.1 Diversity Management
− The key to manage diversity is to capitalize more effectively on our capacity for multiple
social identities.
− To manage diversity, we need to avoid imposing values on one another that may conflict
or be inconsistent with cultures, by being proactive in listening, accepting and welcoming
people, and by increasing the level of understanding about each other’s cultures by
interacting with people outside of one’s own culture.
11.2 Gender and Social Inclusion
Gender: is an organizing principle of all social systems and everyday interactions.
Men and women are viewed as individuals on three levels of analysis:
The individual level: refers to stable traits of men and women that endure overtime in the
process of human life span development.
The interactional level: examines the ways in which social behavior is constrained or facilitated
by the expectations that people have regarding the traits they possess.

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The structural level: addresses how macro level patterns, such as the positions to which people
are assigned in society or the rewards attached to those positions, lead to differences in the
behavior or experiences of men and women.
Excluding or limiting women’s roles and benefits in social, political and economic arena is a part
of human history. Nations have been denying women benefits they should have got despite their
significant contribution for the development. Women should benefit from education, economy,
leadership system, development programs and legal systems.
11.3 Interpersonal and Intra-personal communication skills
I. Interpersonal communication
 Is the process by which people exchange information, feelings and meaning through
verbal or non-verbal messages.
II. Intra-personal communication
 Is the skill in which one needs in order to communicate effectively with another person or
a group of people.
11.4 Social Influences
− It occurs when one person (the source) engages in some behavior such as persuading or
issuing order that causes another person (the target) to behave differently from how the
person used to behave before.
− In some cases the influencing source may produce attitude change.
Attitude change: is a change in which target’s beliefs and attitudes about some issue, person or
situation.
11.5 Peer Pressure
 Is the influence to go along with the beliefs and actions of one’s peers. It can be overt or
less direct
 Is that feeling that you have to do something to fit in, be accepted, or be respected, it can
be tough to deal with.
Positive peer pressure: uses encouraging words and expressions
Negative peer pressure: tries to get a person to do something harmful. It may involve
threats, bribes, teasing and name-calling
How to handle peer pressure
When faced with overt or indirect pressure to do something you are not sure about, try using the
following strategies.
 Recognize unhealthy dynamics: It’s not ok for others to pressure, force or trick
you into doing things you don’t want to or for others to make threats if you don’t
give in.
 Stand up for others when you see them being pressured
 Spend time with people who respect your decisions and won’t put unfair pressure
on you to conform.

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  Ask for advice or support from a parent or other trusted family member, a clergy
person, a mentor or a counselor if you need it.
 Practice saying “No thanks” or “thanks, but I can’t”, if you don’t feel comfortable
directly confronting the person doing the pressuring, try distracting them or
inviting the person to do something else.
11.6 Assertiveness
 Is being able to express your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and opinions in an open manner
that does not violate the right of others.
The main effect of not being assertive is that it can lead to low self-esteem.
Assertive behavior includes:
 Being open in expressing wishes, thoughts and feelings and encouraging others to do
likewise
 Accepting responsibilities and being able to delegate to others
 Behaving as an equal to others
11.7 Conflict and Conflict Resolution
Conflict: is defined as an incompatibility of goals or values between two or more parties in a
relationship, combined with attempts to control each other and antagonize feelings towards each
other.
Conflict by itself is neither good nor bad, but the manner in which it is handled determines
whether it is constructive or destructive.
Sources of Conflict
One of the early theories on conflict, Daniel Katz (1965), created a typology that distinguishes
three main sources of conflicts: economic, value and power.
Economic conflict: involves competing motives to attain scarce resources.
Value conflict: involves incompatibility in ways of life, ideologies the preferences principles
and practices that people believe in.
Power conflict: occurs when each party wishes to maintain or maximize the amount of influence
that it exerts in the relationship and the social setting.
Another important source of conflict is ineffective communication.
Lack of skill in communicating often results in confusion, hurt and anger.
Self-centeredness, self-perception, emotional bias, prejudices etc. are all forces that lead to
perceive situations very differently form the other party.
Levels of Conflicts
Intra-personal conflict- is a conflict in your head between opposing motives or ideas.
Interpersonal conflict- occurs when two people have incompatible needs, goals, or approaches
in their relationship.
Multiparty conflict- occurs in societies when different interest groups and organizations have
varying priorities.
International conflict- occurs between states at the global level.

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Methods of conflict resolution
There are three general strategies in which the parties may take toward dealing with their
conflict;
1. Win lose approach- situations result when only one side perceives the outcome as
positive.
2. Lose-lose strategy- all parties understand that losses are unavoidable and that they will
be evenly distributed.
3. Win-win approach- is a conscious and systematic attempt to maximize the goals of
both parties through collaborative problem solving.
11.8 Team Work
Teams: are groups of people with complementary skills who are committed to a common
purpose and hold themselves mutually accountable for its achievement.
Successful teams are characterized by a team spirit based around trust, mutual respect,
helpfulness and friendliness.
Effective teamwork results from:
 Commitment by team members to understand and identify with one another’s goals.
 Coordinated effort and planned sharing of tasks evenly across the team.
 The open exchange of information within the team.
 Honesty and frankness among team members.
11.9 Overcoming risky behavior
Risky behaviors can be associated with serious, long-term, and in some cases, life threatening
consequences.
A cost-effective approach may be to employ strategies designed to address factors associated
with multiple risky behaviors. Some of these include:
 Support and strengthen family functioning;
 Make communities safe and supportive for children and youth;
 Promote the development of sustained relationships with caring adults;
 Provide children and youth with high quality education during early and middle
childhood.