Index

Note. f following a page number indicates a figure.

Acceptance. See also Radical acceptance Appearance, physical, 86. See also Body image
body image and, 87–89 Appreciation, 89–93, 129. See also Self-appreciation
emotions and, 115–116 Attentional focus
exercises regarding, 96–97 backdraft and, 58
forgiveness and, 154, 155 Compassionate Body Scan meditation, 89–93
mindfulness and, 44 Giving and Receiving Compassion meditation,
overview, 50 112–113
reflections regarding, 98, 99 positive emotions and, 160–161
relationships and, 131 Attitude, 70
resistance and, 51 Avoidance, 51
Activities, everyday, 59. See also Daily life Awareness
Affection, 131 emotions and, 116–117, 119, 120
Affectionate Breathing meditation, 46–47, 47 Giving and Receiving Compassion meditation,
Affirmations, positive, 70 112–113
Agitation, 61 savoring and, 161
Allowing, 115, 128 shame and, 127
Anchoring
addressing backdraft and, 59
Compassionate Movement practice, 36 Backdraft. See also Pain
loving-kindness meditations and, 67–70 addressing, 58–59
Anger informal practices and, 59–63
disconnection and, 130 overview, 57
exercises regarding, 147–151 recognizing, 58
Feeling the Soles of Your Feet practice, 59–60 reflections regarding, 60
fierce compassion and, 150–152 self-compassion in daily life, 60–63
forgiveness and, 153 shame and, 129
overview, 144–146 Balance, 141–143
reflections regarding, 149, 152 Befriending emotions, 115. See also Emotions
relationships and, 130 Bitterness, 145, 153
resistance and, 50 Bodily sensations
self-esteem movement and, 3 addressing backdraft and, 58
Anxiety, 4, 25, 65 Compassionate Body Scan meditation and, 89–93

198
 Index 199

emotions and, 116–117, 119, 120 giving to others and, 111

Feeling the Soles of Your Feet practice, 59–60 motivation and, 77–79
recognizing backdraft and, 58 Compassion, self. See Self-compassion
self-compassion in daily life, 61 Compassion fatigue, 139
Body image Compassion for others, 38–40
Compassionate Body Scan meditation, 89–93 Compassion with Equanimity practice, 141–143
exercises regarding, 86–89 Compassionate Body Scan meditation, 89–93, 93
overview, 85–86 Compassionate Friend meditation, 134–137, 136–137
reflections regarding, 89 Compassionate Letter to Myself exercise, 84
Body scan meditations, 89–93. See also Compassionate listening, 113–114
Meditations Compassionate mess, 98–99
Boundaries, 138 Compassionate Movement practice, 36–37
Brain functions Compassionate voice, 79–84
giving to others and, 110 Compliments, 168
mindfulness and, 45–46 Connection. See also Common humanity;
self-criticism and, 31–32 Relationships
Breath caregiving and, 139
caregiving and, 142 compassionate listening, 113–114
compassionate listening, 114 Giving and Receiving Compassion meditation,
Giving and Receiving Compassion meditation, 111–113
112–113 giving to others and, 111
loving-kindness meditations and, 71 overview, 130
Broaden-and-build theory, 161 self-compassion and, 12, 62
Buddhist meditation, 2. See also Meditations Coping with stress and stressful events, 1–2, 6. See
Burnout, 138–139 also Stress
Core beliefs. See Negative core beliefs
Core values. See also Values
Care system, 31–32 exercises regarding, 101–105, 107–109
Caregivers informal practices and, 106
exercises regarding, 141 overview, 100–101
informal practices and, 141–143 reflections regarding, 105, 106–107, 109
overview, 138–140 Criticism, self. See Self-criticism
reducing stress for, 141
reflections regarding, 143
Challenges, 108–109. See also Obstacles Daily life. See also Everyday activities
Closing process, 6 Mindfulness in Daily Life practice, 48–49
Comforting self-care and, 138–139
addressing backdraft and, 59 self-compassion in, 60–63
caregiving and, 139 Deep living. See Core values
exercises regarding, 41 Default mode network, 45–46. See also Wandering
giving to others and, 110–111 mind
self-compassion in daily life, 62 Denial, 51
Stages of Self-Compassion practice and, 95–96 Depression, 25, 65
yin and yang of self-compassion and, 38, 39f Disconnection, 130, 144. See also Connection
Common humanity Disillusionment, 95, 96–97, 98. See also Stages of
body image and, 88, 89 Self-Compassion practice
exercises regarding, 16 Dissatisfaction with the body. See Body image
forgiveness and, 154 Downward spiral of emotions, 130–131
negative core beliefs and, 124
overview, 10–11, 10f
reflections regarding, 18 Eating mindfully, 163–164
self-appreciation and, 167 Ego-defensive anger, 3
Self-Compassion Break practice and, 34–36 Embarrassment, 126–129
self-compassion journal and, 29 Embodied listening, 113–114
stress response and, 32 Emotions. See also Feelings; Pain; Positive emotions;
Comparisons, 3 individual emotions
Compassion addressing backdraft and, 58
care system and, 32 awareness of, 116–117, 119, 120
compared to empathy, 139 Feeling the Soles of Your Feet practice, 59–60
compared to loving-kindness, 64 informal practices and, 118–120
Compassionate Friend meditation, 134–137 labeling, 116, 119, 120
200 Index

Emotions (continued) Gender, 85

Loving-Kindness for a Loved One meditation, Giving and Receiving Compassion meditation,
66–67 111–113, 132, 141
loving-kindness meditations and, 65 Goals, 21, 100
overview, 115–116 Goodwill, 70
recognizing backdraft and, 58 Gratitude
reflections regarding, 120 Compassionate Body Scan meditation, 89–93
relationships and, 130–131 exercises regarding, 164–165
self-compassion and, 6 overview, 161–162
self-compassion in daily life, 60–63, 62 self-appreciation and, 167
Soften–Soothe–Allow technique, 117–118, Grief, 153
119–120 Grounding, 59–60
Empathic resonance, 110, 138 Guilt, 121–122
Empathy, 139
Encouragement, 10, 78
Endorphins, 31–32 Happiness, 25, 65
Equanimity, 141–143 Hard feelings, 145–146. See also Feelings
Everyday activities, 59. See also Daily life Hardship, 51
Evolutionary processes, 31, 110 Healing, 57
Excuses, 21 Hearing, 45
Exercises Heartbreak, 51
anger, 147–151 Here-and-Now Stone practice, 48
body image and, 86–89 Hormonal functions, 31–32
caregiving and, 141 Humanity, common
core values and, 101–105, 107–109 body image and, 88, 89
gratitude and, 164–165 exercises regarding, 16
loving-kindness meditations and, 71–74 forgiveness and, 154
misgivings about self-compassion, 19 negative core beliefs and, 124
motivation and, 79–84 overview, 10–11, 10f
negative core beliefs and, 123–125 reflections regarding, 18
overview, 7 self-appreciation and, 167
regarding self-compassion, 12–17, 27–28 Self-Compassion Break practice and, 34–36
relationships and, 133–134 self-compassion journal and, 29
resistance, 52–56 stress response and, 32
self-appreciation and, 168–171 Humility, 167
self-compassion and, 174–175 Hurt, 130
self-esteem, 22–24
shame and, 123–125
Stages of Self-Compassion practice and, 96–97 Ice cube exercise, 52–53
yin and yang of self-compassion and, 39f, 40f, Informal practices. See also Meditations
41–43 addressing backdraft and, 59–63
Expectations, 133–134 caregiving and, 141–143
Exploration, 115 Compassionate Letter to Myself exercise, 84
compassionate listening, 113–114
Compassionate Movement practice, 36–37
Failure, 23–24 core values and, 106
Family supports. See Support Feeling the Soles of Your Feet practice, 59–60
Feeling the Soles of Your Feet practice, 59–60 Forgiving Others practice, 155–157
Feelings. See also Emotions Forgiving Ourselves practice, 157–159
disconnection and, 130 Here-and-Now Stone practice, 48
hard and soft feelings, 145–146 Mindfulness in Daily Life practice, 48–49
resistance and, 50, 51 Noticing Resistance practice, 56
self-compassion and, 3 overview, 7
Fierce compassion, 150–152 relationships and, 132
Fight–flight–freeze reaction, 31–32 Savoring Food practice, 163–164
Focusing attention. See Attentional focus self-compassion and, 33–37
Forgiveness Self-Compassion Break practice, 34–36
Forgiving Others practice, 155–157 self-compassion in daily life, 60–63
Forgiving Ourselves practice, 157–159 self-compassion journal, 29–30
overview, 153–155 self-criticism and, 33–37
reflections regarding, 157 Sense and Savor Walk practice, 162–163
Friends. See Support shame and, 126–129
 Index 201

Stages of Self-Compassion practice and, Meditations. See also Informal practices

98–99 Affectionate Breathing meditation, 46–47
Walking in Loving-Kindness practice, 67–68 Compassionate Body Scan meditation, 89–93
yin and yang of self-compassion and, 39f, 40f Compassionate Friend meditation, 134–137
Intention giving to others and, 111–113
core values and, 106–107 Loving-Kindness for a Loved One meditation,
forgiveness and, 154 65–67
Forgiving Others practice, 157 Loving-Kindness for Ourselves meditation, 75–76
Forgiving Ourselves practice, 159 loving-kindness meditations and, 4
positive emotions and, 160–161 overview, 2, 7
Irritation, 50, 130 relationships and, 134–136
Isolation, 32 Walking in Loving-Kindness practice, 67–68
Metta, 64. See also Loving-kindness meditations
Mindful eating, 163–164
Journal, self-compassion, 29–30 Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) program, 2–4, 5–7.
See also Self-compassion
Joy, 65
Judgment Mindfulness
Affectionate Breathing meditation, 46–47
exercises regarding, 17
backdraft and, 58
relationships and, 131
self-compassion and, 3 in daily life, 48–49
emotions and, 116
self-esteem and, 22
informal practices and, 48–49
negative core beliefs and, 124
overview, 3–4, 10f, 11–12, 44–46, 176
K indness towards self reflections regarding, 18, 47, 48, 49
backdraft and, 57 resentfulness, 147–149
body image and, 88–89 resistance and, 51–52
core values and, 104 Savoring Food practice, 163–164
exercises regarding, 17 self-appreciation and, 167
negative core beliefs and, 125 Self-Compassion Break practice and, 34–36
overview, 10, 10f self-compassion journal and, 29
reflections regarding, 18 self-pity and, 20
self-appreciation and, 167 shame and, 127
Self-Compassion Break practice and, 34–36 Soften–Soothe–Allow technique, 117–118
self-compassion journal and, 30 stress response and, 32
stress response and, 32 Mindfulness in Daily Life practice, 48–49
Mirror neurons, 110
Motivation
Labeling of emotions, 116, 119, 120. See also Compassionate Letter to Myself exercise, 84
Emotions compassionate voice and, 79–84
Laziness, 21 exercises regarding, 43, 79–84
Life, daily. See Daily life overview, 77–79
Life satisfaction, 25, 161 yin and yang of self-compassion and, 38, 40f
Listening, compassionate, 113–114
Living deeply. See Core values
Loneliness, 130 Narcissism, 3
Loss, 51, 130 Needs
Love, 31–32, 94 core values and, 100
Loving, 12. See also Self-kindness exercises regarding, 147–149
Loving-kindness, 64–65 loving-kindness meditations and, 70–71
Loving-kindness meditations. See also Meditations; relationships and, 133–134
Self-compassion self-compassion and, 146
exercises regarding, 71–74 yin and yang of self-compassion, 39
Loving-Kindness for a Loved One meditation, Negative core beliefs. See also Thoughts
65–67 exercises regarding, 123–125
Loving-Kindness for Ourselves meditation, informal practices and, 126–128
75–76 labeling, 127
for ourselves, 69–71 reflections regarding, 125, 126–128
overview, 4, 64–65 shame and, 122–123
phrases for, 69–75 Negative emotions. See Emotions
reflections regarding, 67, 75 Negativity bias, 160, 167
Walking in Loving-Kindness practice, 67–68 Nonjudgmental stance, 131
202 Index

Nonresistance, 50. See also Resistance Reflections

Nothingness, feeling of, 129 Affectionate Breathing meditation, 47
Noticing Resistance practice, 56 anger, 149, 152
Numbing out, 50 body image and, 89
caregiving and, 143
Compassionate Body Scan meditation and, 93
Obstacles, 103–105, 108–109 Compassionate Friend meditation, 136–137
Opening process compassionate listening, 114
Compassionate Movement practice, 36 Compassionate Movement practice, 37
forgiveness and, 154 compassionate voice and, 83–84
Forgiving Others practice, 156 core values and, 105, 106–107, 109
Forgiving Ourselves practice, 158 emotions and, 120
loving-kindness meditations and, 71 Feeling the Soles of Your Feet practice, 60
positive emotions and, 160–161 Forgiving Others practice, 157
self-compassion and, 6 Forgiving Ourselves practice, 159
Optimism, 25 Giving and Receiving Compassion meditation, 113
Overeating, 50 gratitude and, 165
Overworking, 50 Here-and-Now Stone practice, 48
Oxytocin, 31–32 informal practices and, 126–128
Loving-Kindness for a Loved One meditation, 67
Loving-Kindness for Ourselves meditation, 76
Pain. See also Backdraft; Emotions loving-kindness meditations and, 75
forgiveness and, 153 misgivings about self-compassion, 19
Forgiving Others practice, 156 motivation and, 83–84
giving to others and, 110–111 negative core beliefs and, 125
resistance and, 51 overview, 7
self-kindness and compassion and, 57 regarding self-compassion, 14, 18, 29, 30, 174–175
Stages of Self-Compassion practice and, 95–96 relationships and, 132, 134, 136–137
Physical appearance, 86 resistance, 53, 56
Physical health, 25 Savoring Food practice, 164
Physical sensations self-appreciation and, 170
addressing backdraft and, 58 Self-Compassion Break practice and, 36
Compassionate Body Scan meditation and, 89–93 self-compassion journal and, 30
emotions and, 116–117, 120 self-esteem, 24
Feeling the Soles of Your Feet practice, 59–60 Sense and Savor Walk practice, 163
recognizing backdraft and, 58 shame and, 125, 128–129
self-compassion in daily life, 61 Soothing Touch practice, 34
Physical touch, 33–34 Stages of Self-Compassion practice and, 98
Physiology, 31–32 Walking in Loving-Kindness practice, 68
Pity, self, 20 yin and yang of self-compassion and, 43
Positive affirmations, 70 Rejection, 130
Positive emotions. See also Emotions Relationship, support from. See Support
exercises regarding, 164–165 Relationships. See also Connection; Support
overview, 160–162 caregiving and, 138
Savoring Food practice, 163–164 Compassionate Friend meditation, 134–137
Sense and Savor Walk practice, 162–163 compassionate listening, 113–114
Potential, 107–109 core values and, 100–101
Prejudice, 3, 22 exercises regarding, 133–134, 147–149
Presence, 12. See also Mindfulness Giving and Receiving Compassion meditation,
Present-moment experience, 44 111–113
Problems, 45 giving to others, 110–111
Projection, 45 overview, 130–132
Protecting, 38, 40f, 42 reflections regarding, 132, 134, 136–137
Providing, 38, 40f, 42 self-compassion break and, 132
Release, 74
Resentment, 145, 147–149
R adical acceptance. See also Acceptance; Stages of Resilience, 1–2, 20, 167
Self-Compassion practice Resistance
exercises regarding, 96–97 emotions and, 115
overview, 95–96 exercises regarding, 52–56
reflections regarding, 98, 99 Noticing Resistance practice, 56
 Index 203

overview, 50–52 Self-discovery, 6

reflections regarding, 53, 56 Self-esteem
Stages of Self-Compassion practice and, 95, 98 compared to self-compassion, 21–22
Responding compassionately exercises regarding, 22–24
Compassionate Movement practice, 36–37 reflections regarding, 24
exercises regarding, 148–149 self-esteem movement and, 2–3
mindfulness and, 46 Selfishness, 20, 131
Soften–Soothe–Allow technique, 117–118 Self-judgment, 6
Responsibility to protect, 154, 157, 159 Self-kindness
Romantic relationships, 131. See also Relationships backdraft and, 57
Rumination body image and, 88–89
fight–flight–freeze reaction and, 32 core values and, 104
mindfulness and, 11 exercises regarding, 17
resistance and, 50 negative core beliefs and, 125
self-pity and, 20 overview, 10, 10f
stress response and, 32 reflections regarding, 18
self-appreciation and, 167
Self-Compassion Break practice and, 34–36
Safety, 31–32, 78 self-compassion journal and, 30
Satisfaction, 25, 133–134 stress response and, 32
Savoring, 161, 162–164 Self-pity, 20
Savoring Food practice, 163–164 Self-talk, 65, 122–123
Self-appreciation. See also Appreciation Self-transformation, 6
exercises regarding, 168–171 Self-worth, 86
overview, 166–168 Sense and Savor Walk practice, 162–163
reflections regarding, 170 Sense of self, 45
Self-care, 60, 138–139 Senses, 45, 48–49
Self-centeredness, 20 Sensitivity, 110–111
Self-compassion. See also Mindful Self-Compassion Shame
(MSC) program anxiety and, 4
backdraft and, 57 body image and, 86
benefits of, 25–27 exercises regarding, 123–125
body image and, 86–89 informal practices and, 126–128
care system and, 32 negative core beliefs and, 122–123
compared to self-esteem, 21–22 overview, 121–122
emotions and, 116 reflections regarding, 125, 126–128
exercises regarding, 12–17, 27–28, 174–175 self-compassion and, 25
forgiveness and, 154 Sight, 45
Forgiving Others practice, 156 Smell, 45
Forgiving Ourselves practice, 158 Social support. See Relationships; Support
informal practices regarding, 33–37 Soft feelings, 145–146, 148. See also Feelings
misgivings regarding, 19–21 Soften–Soothe–Allow technique, 117–118, 119–120,
negative core beliefs and, 122 127–128. See also Emotions; Soothing
overview, 2–4, 9–12, 173–174, 176 Soothing. See also Soften–Soothe–Allow technique
reflections regarding, 14, 18, 29, 30 addressing backdraft and, 59
resistance and, 51–52 caregiving and, 139
resources for, 177–179 emotions and, 118
yin and yang of, 38–41, 38f, 39f, 40f exercises regarding, 41
Self-Compassion Break practice, 34–35, 36, 132 self-compassion in daily life, 62
Self-compassion journal, 29–30 shame and, 128
Self-Compassion Scale, 27–28, 29 yin and yang of self-compassion and, 38, 39f
Self-compassion stages. See Stages of Self-Compassion Soothing Touch practice, 33–34
practice Spirituality, 63
Self-confidence, 78, 167 Stabilizing, 59–60
Self-criticism Stages of Self-Compassion practice. See also
compassionate voice and, 79–84 Disillusionment; Radical acceptance; Strivings
informal practices regarding, 33–37 exercises regarding, 96–97
misgivings about self-compassion and, 21 informal practices and, 98–99
motivation and, 78 overview, 94–96
overview, 31–33 reflections regarding, 98, 99
stress response and, 32 Standards for self, 21
204 Index

Strength, 20 Tolerating, 115

Stress. See also Coping with stress and stressful events Touch
caregiving and, 141, 142 Feeling the Soles of Your Feet practice, 59–60
self-compassion and, 6, 25 Here-and-Now Stone practice and, 48
self-criticism and, 31–32 informal practices and, 33–34
Strivings. See also Stages of Self-Compassion practice mindfulness and, 45
exercises regarding, 96–97
overview, 94–95
reflections regarding, 98, 99 Validating, 38, 39f, 42
Suffering Values, 63, 100–101. See also Core values
caregiving and, 138 Vows, 106–107
exercises regarding, 53–56
relationships and, 130–131
resistance and, 51 Walking in Loving-Kindness practice, 67–68, 70
Stages of Self-Compassion practice and, 95–96 Wandering mind, 48, 66, 90. See also Default mode
Support. See also Relationships network
addressing backdraft and, 59 Wants, 70–71
motivation and, 78 Warmth, 10
from others, 59, 62 Wisdom
self-kindness and, 10 forgiveness and, 154
Suppression, 51 Forgiving Others practice, 156–157
Forgiving Ourselves practice, 159
gratitude and, 161
Taste, 45 self-appreciation and, 167
Teachers. See Support Worry, 50, 51
Therapists. See Support Worth, self, 86
Thoughts. See also Negative core beliefs
mindfulness and, 44
recognizing backdraft and, 58 Yin and yang of self-compassion
resistance and, 51 exercises regarding, 41–43
self-compassion in daily life, 61 overview, 38–41, 39f, 40f
Threat-defense system, 31–32 reflections regarding, 43