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CONTENTS
PART I
Arguments Against the Privilege of Being a Woman
Secular Arguments
Christianity and Arguments Against Privilege
PART II
Arguments for the Privilege of Being a Woman
The Supernatural View
PART III
From Paganism to Modern Values: Denigration of Woman
PART IV
Woman: The Privileged Sex
Cons and Pros of Weakness
Cons
Pros
PART V
The Transfiguration of Weakness: The Incarnation
PART VI
Women's Supernatural Mission
PART VII
Women and Feelings
PART VIII
The Mystery of the Female Body
The Mystery of Femininity
Maternity
PART IX
Mary and the Female Sex
PART I
Arguments Against the Privilege of Being a Woman
SECULAR ARGUMENTS
How can it be a privilege for a woman to be called "the second sex" (sexus
sequior); to be considered less talented, less strong, less creative, less
interesting, less intelligent, less artistic than her male counterpart?
Who would choose to have a body which, from the time of puberty on, can
be burdensome, can cause discomfort and even severe pain? Who would
choose to be nauseated for weeks, and sometimes months, during
pregnancy? Who would choose to give birth in agonizing pain? When the
Old Testament wishes to illustrate severe trials, it usually refers to a woman
in labor.
Men want women to exist, but they do not want to be women themselves.
Simone de Beauvoir writes that "...men are human beings; women are just
females." She claims that women cannot transcend, and that they "produce
nothing. Women are "pure objects" who exist in order to satisfy the cravings
of the male sex. According to her, women are "disgusted by their own sex."
They loathe being women. This is what G. K. Chesterton had in mind when
he wrote that a feminist is someone who "dislikes the chief feminine
characteristics." As a result, the agenda of feminists, while animated by a
hatred of men, aims at virilizing women so that they can gain control over
their bodies, their destiny. Once liberated from biological ties, women will
be able to develop their talents which, for centuries, have been crushed by
social taboos. According to de Beauvoir, the scarcity of female
accomplishments is to be explained "by the general mediocrity of their
situation..."
The Torah does not speak favorably of a woman's intellect: "Rather burn
Torah than try to explain it to a woman." Some Fathers of the Church
follow suit. The great Saint John Chrysostom wrote: "Among all wild
beasts, there is none to be found which is more harmful than the woman."
According to Luther, the meaning of a woman's life is to procreate: "the
work and word of God tell us clearly that women must be used for marriage
or for prostitution. If women get tired and die of bearing, there is no harm in
that: let them die so long as they bear: they are made for that."
Yet feminists carefully refrain from mentioning the beautiful statements that
men have made throughout history such as "she [a good wife] is far more
precious than jewels;" or "do not deprive yourself of a wise and good wife;
for her charm is worth more than gold." Dante sings the praise of the donna
angelicata (woman viewed as an angel). He immortalized Beatrice, his one
great love, whose personality is a light and an inspiration in the poet's life,
and whose mission is to lead him to God. Shakespeare's female characters
are often sublime. Lamartine refers to women as "anges mortels, creation
divine" ("mortal angels, divine creation"). Schiller rhapsodizes about the
female sex. Theodor Haecker claims that nature made woman more perfect
than man because she is more inclined to love and to give herself. The
noblest characters in Claudel's plays are women (e.g., Violaine, Sygne).
Forced to face this truth, de Beauvoir interprets it in her feminist way. She
writes: "But if his women [Claudel's] are thus remarkably devoted to the
heroism of sanctity, it is above all because Claudel still views them in a
masculine perspective." As sanctity is devalued in de Beauvoir's eyes (as a
poor substitute for great achievements), the highest praise that can be given
anyone male or female — namely holiness—is, to her mind, only a left-
handed compliment.
That such divergent statements can be made about women can find sundry
explanations. It is usually true that an impure man, or one hooked on
pornography, will look down upon women. On the other hand, a man
steeped in the supernatural will look up to the sex that was honored to give
birth to the Savior of the world. In the end, unwarranted generalizations are
typical of shallow minds. That some women are "big children their whole
life long," that some women are refinedly wicked, that some are stupid, and
so on are as dull as statements claiming that some men are bestial, some are
brutal, some are stupid (because stupidity, against which the gods
themselves fight in vain, is pretty fairly distributed between the two sexes).
But the negative statements made about the "weaker sex" — highlighted
and endlessly repeated by feminists — have gained currency and are the
water driving their mill. Such words are no doubt partially responsible for
this revolutionary movement that has gained so much impetus in the
contemporary world.
That some women have been abominably treated by some men cannot and
should not be denied. Kierkegaard writes, "What abominations has the
world not seen in the relationship between man and woman—that she,
almost like an animal, was a despised creature compared to the male, a
creature of another species." Chesterton too admits this fact: "I do not deny
that women have been wronged and even tortured; but I doubt if they were
ever tortured so much as they are tortured now by the absurd modern
attempt to make them domestic empresses and competitive clerks at the
same time. " The solution he offers is "...to destroy the tyranny. They [the
feminists] want to destroy the womanhood."
The abuse that many women have been subjected to has often been
illustrated in literature: Let us recall the brutal treatment that the crippled
sister of Lebyadkin, in Dostoevsky's The Possessed, is subjected to by her
ruthless and mostly drunk brother. Obviously the great Russian writer was
referring to real facts. This sad story has often been true in the past and is
still true today. That male chauvinism is nothing but a combination of
childish male pride and brutality cannot be contested. Yet it seems evident
that even in the face of their physical vulnerability, given their greater
sensitivity, their more subtle intuitions, their talent for feeling themselves
into others, women have greater possibilities of uplifting or of hurting
others than those usually granted to the opposite sex.
She was the one who yielded to the serpent's crafty promise; she was the
one who gave the forbidden fruit to her husband and thereby caused his ruin
and ours. Although both culprits were severely punished, by loss of the life
of grace, by loss of preternatural gifts that had been granted to them—
including immortality of the body, freedom from sickness and pain — she
was more severely chastised than her husband. True, he was condemned to
earn his bread with the sweat of his brow (a punishment which millions of
women share with men), but she was punished in the very sphere that was
her glory — maternity. From now on, she was condemned to give birth in
pain and anguish. Moreover, she was declared to be "subject to her
husband.'' Her status of inferiority was sealed.
According to de Beauvoir, this inferiority is confirmed in the New
Testament. Has not Mary declared herself to be "the handmaid of the
Lord?" She writes, "As servant, woman is entitled to the most splendid
deification." Mary is praised for her obedience and submission. She is
rewarded with becoming the mother of the Savior by declaring herself to be
"the handmaid of the Lord." According to the French feminist, her final
defeat is sealed when, after giving birth to a male child, she kneels in front
of Him and adores Him. This act of adoration constitutes the "ultimate male
victory." De Beauvoir takes the freedom of making this kneeling addition to
Saint Luke's Gospel. The Evangelist only tells us that she "...wrapped Him
in swaddling cloths, and put Him in a manger.... " Moreover, the French
feminist "forgets" to mention that Saint Paul tells us that all knees should
bend in front of the Savior and, as knees have no sex, men are definitely
included. The humble shepherds were then informed that "...to you is born
this day in the city of David, a Saviour.... " These simple men hastened to
give homage to the Newborn King. The aristocratic Magi followed suit and
Saint Matthew informs us that "...they fell down and worshiped Him." She
also forgets that if all knees should bend in front of the Savior, all heads
should bow in front of His mother.
PART II
Arguments for the Privilege of Being a Woman
That men and women are perfectly equal in dignity— both being made to
God's image and likeness—cannot be contested. But to be created last does
not indicate inferiority. As a matter of fact, it could be argued that there is
an ascending line in creation: from inanimate matter, to plants, lower
animals, mammals, man, and finally, woman. Obviously we are not
inferring that woman, being created last, is superior to man. We only wish
to show that the argument used to prove her "inferiority" is not valid and
can be turned on its head.
The fact that Eve's body was fashioned from Adam's rib can also easily be
interpreted as a sign of special dignity and preciousness: for to be made
from the body of a human person (made in God's image and likeness) is
definitely nobler than being fashioned from the dust of the earth.
Indeed, the punishment meted out to Eve, as de Beauvoir points out, was
particularly severe. As mentioned above, when referring to excruciating
pains, the Old Testament mentions the pangs of childbirth. But, in the light
of redemption (which has given a sublime meaning to suffering), to suffer
agony to bring another human being into the world is a premonition of the
sufferings of Christ whose blood has redeemed us. It intimates that if Eve
carries a heavy responsibility for the tragedy of original sin, the new Eve
will play a cardinal role in the work of redemption. Saint Andrew of Crete
writes: "The women applaud, for if at another time it was a woman who
was the imprudent occasion of sin, now too it is a woman who brings in the
first fruits of salvation." Kierkegaard writes: "it is my conviction that if it
was a woman that ruined man, it was woman also that has fairly and
honestly made reparation and still does so ..." More will be said about this
later.
In the Apocalypse, once again, the role of women in the New Testament is
gloriously highlighted. Saint John was granted a vision of a woman as
bright as the sun, crowned with stars. Mysterious as this sacred writing is,
once again we are given a chance to see how grossly unfair and utterly
unscholarly it is to accuse Christianity of having denigrated women and
assigned to them an insignificant role.
Granted that women have often been denigrated, humiliated, and looked
down upon in the course of human history, we must keep in mind that the
culprits are always individual men, tainted by original sin and anxious to
place themselves above others, often in order to compensate for their own
mediocrity. One thing is certain: The Catholic Church, she who has elevated
women to an extraordinary dignity, is and always has been a convenient
scapegoat. It is psychologically so satisfying to find an institution to blame
for all the evils afflicting the world, while the accuser wraps himself
comfortably in the mantle of blamelessness! Ignorant people stubbornly
refuse to make a distinction between Her Holiness as Bride of Christ and
Holy Teacher and the often pitiful actions of her wayward and rebellious
children. The Church grants all her children the means of achieving
holiness— but she cannot force them to become holy. It is noteworthy that
the Church is at times censured for abusing her authority by "imposing" her
dogmatic and moral teaching on her children, without consulting them! But
the next moment, her accusers criticize her for not using her authority to
force her children to live according to the Gospel.
PART III
From Paganism to Modern Values: Denigration of Woman
The gravity of their offense was such that it was impossible for our first
parents to recover the priceless gift of supernatural life. God alone could do
so and, in His infinite mercy and goodness, He chose to send us His only
Son to effect our redemption by His death at Calvary. As every sin brings
with it its own punishment, is it surprising that today we have become so
morally blind (for wickedness blinds) that we save baby whales at great
cost, and murder millions of unborn children?
Our first parents' minds were darkened by sin, their wills were weakened,
their judgment became distorted. The hierarchy of values being upset, male
accomplishments became overvalued. Physical strength became glorified
and weakness was looked down upon as a proof of inferiority. This is
written in the book of Wisdom, referring to the language of the ungodly:
"but let our might be our law of right, for what is weak proves itself to be
useless."
Homer's Iliad illustrates this. The Greek heroes are strong, healthy,
victorious. Those who are conquered and defeated deserve to become
slaves; they are plainly inferior. It is noteworthy that the greatest cultures
have often been defeated by primitive tribes that had little or no culture, but
plenty of physical daring and stamina. Hand in hand with the
overestimation of strength and virility goes an overestimation of
accomplishments, feats, performances, success. In our society to be a "self-
made man" calls for awe. A Bill Gates, an Oprah Winfrey, or even a Bill
Clinton inspire people with a totally illegitimate feeling of admiration. But
success does not guarantee authentic greatness. Many scoundrels have been
incredibly successful, too successful for their own good. Original sin blinds
us to the fact that all these feats, often aided by ruthlessness, craftiness, or
even plain luck, have no value in the light of eternity. We should always
raise the question: Quid est hoc ad aeternitatem? (What is this in light of
eternity?). In fact, it is only dust and ashes. No one enters the gates of
heaven because he is a millionaire; no one is worthy to see God because he
is "famous." Indeed, worldly "wisdom" is sheer foolishness. This has been
seen by Socrates, and emphatically repeated by Saint Paul, "for the
foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger
than men." Against the background of the supernatural, the inanity of
human praise becomes evident.
The spirit of the time teaches us that today everything depends upon what is
"in the air," what people want. In this spiritual climate, tradition is doomed.
The past is looked down upon as "dead, " as having nothing to give to
"modern man." As women are weaker than men, and as they do not bask in
the limelight as much as men do, as they are less "creative" than the strong
sex, they are bound to be the victims of this distorted hierarchy of values.
That women have been victimized by this distortion of the hierarchy of
values is deplorable and sad indeed; but that feminists have endorsed this
inversion is still more pitiful. Imprisoned in the spiritual jail of secular
categories, they fail to understand that their true mission is to swim against
the tide and, with God's grace, help restore the proper hierarchy of values.
By living up to their calling, women will succeed in guaranteeing a proper
recognition of the unique value of femininity and its crucial mission in the
world. This is proved by innumerable testimonies. A French writer by the
name of Vinet wrote that "the value of a people is to be gauged by the value
of its women" ("un peuple vaut ce que valent ses femrnes") Strong men are
often cowed by women, particularly by their wives. In his life of Gandhi,
Louis Fisher writes, "Gandhi feared neither man nor government, neither
prison, nor poverty nor death. But he did fear his wife." In the same book,
referring to the conflict that developed between India and Pakistan, he
writes, "Moslem women are the real force behind their men." The fear that
wives can inspire in their husbands is also stressed in Michael Scammell's
life of Solzhenitsyn. He writes, "Seemingly all-powerful in his
confrontation with the Soviet government.. .he was yet helpless when faced
with the wrath of a discarded woman." In her book Catherine the Great,
Joan Haslip writes that "he [Stanislaus] was at his happiest with the
feminine members of his court, for the women were far cleverer and better
educated. Visitors to Poland were always impressed by the
obvious superiority of women and their interest in politics and the arts." In
her book on Adolf von Hildebrand, Isolde Kurz relates that the artist's wife,
Irene, told her that since the death of Fieldler, the friendships that her
husband valued most were those he had with women." In his memoirs,
Erlebte Weltgeschichte, the famous educator F. W. Foerster makes the claim
that in France women are definitely "the strong sex." Pearl Buck writes that
in China "it was true that generally speaking the men were inferior to the
women, and this I suppose was because boys were so spoiled in Chinese
homes... the Chinese woman usually emerges the stronger character...." She
also cites the words of Confucius, "Where the woman is faithful, no evil
can befall. The woman is the root and the man the tree. The tree grows only
as high as the root is strong," and further, "The strongest thing on earth is a
woman ..." Albert Speer, the personal architect of Adolf Hitler, writes in his
memoirs that "in general the wives of the regime's bigwigs resisted the
temptation of power far more than their husbands ... they looked at the often
grotesque antics of their husbands with inner reservation ..."
Obviously the strength that these men note in women refers not to exterior
accomplishments but to the moral power that a woman can possess.
These accolades indicate clearly that the "weakness" of the female sex, as
far as accomplishments and productivity are concerned, can be more than
compensated by her moral strength when she lives up to her calling. That is,
when she loves. The influence that she can exercise over her male partner is
great indeed when it manifests itself not by issuing commands but by
example and gentle persuasion. On the other hand, when she betrays her
mission, she can indeed be man's downfall. Her role is a key one.
Kierkegaard wrote that "woman is the conscience of man." But her
conscience must be illumined by faith and enlivened by true love; it must
not be a conscience distorted by self-centered relativism.
PART IV
Woman: The Privileged Sex
As mentioned above, feminists resent the fact that several great Christian
thinkers, beginning with Saint Peter, have referred to women as being "the
weaker sex." Several Fathers of the Church followed suit. Obviously these
pillars of Christianity have something valid in mind. It would be unwise on
our part to discard it outright as an expression of "male chauvinism."
What can be meant by "weaker?" An obvious answer would be that the "fair
sex" is physically weaker than its male counterpart. This is something so
obvious that we can ignore this explanation as irrelevant. Moreover, there
would be no reason for the most "sensitive" feminist to be offended for it is
an undeniable fact. But the feminists are offended because they assume that
"weaker" means less intelligent, less talented, less reliable, less moral, etc.
As we saw, numerous male sayings support this thesis. It is true that the
word "weak" is often used to refer to things, actions, or attitudes which are
flawed. One speaks of a "weak argument," a "weak defense," a "weak
character," "weak health," a "weak performance." In all these cases,
weakness refers to something defective and unsatisfactory. As we saw,
Greek literature (I am thinking of Homer) glorified strength,
accomplishment, courage, and power. The weak one is defeated, flouted,
and ridiculed. Our contemporary idolization of sports stems from the same
root. He who wins is a hero; this is how President Bush qualified the
Americans who won a gold medal at the Olympic games in Seoul! He who
is defeated is a weakling. The Belgian football team defeated in Paris in
June 1998 was a case in point. Hecklers greeted them when they returned to
Brussels.
Cons
That women are in this sense weaker than men is exemplified by female
tears. If all the tears shed by women had been collected since the beginning
of the world, they would compete with the sea. The tears shed by men
might fill a pond of modest size. Not only do they cry much more than men,
but moreover, they are not ashamed of their tears, whereas there are men
who would rather die than be tearful. More will be said about this later.
Because of "the meld of heart and mind" which characterizes women, they
are more likely to be wounded than men, whose power of abstraction often
shields them from negative feelings. Women have much less control over
their emotions; they usually have greater sensitivity, they are more intuitive.
Their bodies are mirrors of their psyche and seem to be more closely
connected than in men. This innate trait—when not properly guided—may
lead them to yield to seduction and to some serious moral weaknesses, for
example, partisanship, subjectivism in judging situations and persons. More
than men, women are likely to be attracted by magic. This may take the
form of spiritism, tarot cards, or Ouija boards. Fortune-tellers are often
women.
This might be another point Saint Peter and Saint Augustine had in mind
when they called women "the weaker sex." Women take their feelings much
more seriously than men do, and so they have a tendency to dwell upon
them and fall into self-centeredness. They are more likely than men to be
romantic and sentimental (let us think of Madame Bovary), to become prey
to an unhealthy exaltation, to escape into the world of their dreams, and to
be dominated by their imagination and their fancy. Throughout her
autobiography, Saint Teresa of Avila repeatedly refers to the dangers
menacing the spiritual life of "the weak sex": emotionalism, dreaming,
illusions, self-centeredness. She repeatedly stresses how much they are in
need of guidance. Two great spiritual directors, Saint Francis of Sales and
Dom Colomba Marmion, emphasize the fact that "however intellectual or
enlightened a woman may be, God, according to the ordinary rulings of His
providence, wills her to be directed by a man who is His minister." This is a
theme which keeps recurring in his spiritual letters. Women need men
whose mission is to help them to channel their emotions, to distinguish
between those that are valid and those that are tainted by irrationality,
those which are legitimate and those which are illegitimate.
But Saint Teresa —echoing Saint Peter Alcantara—also writes that more
women than men receive extraordinary graces, that they are more receptive
to God's voice and particularly capable of heroic donation when their heart
is purified. The more privileged they are, the more they need guidance.
Saint Teresa had the wisdom of always turning to wise and holy spiritual
directors to help her discern the validity of her mystical experiences.
Without such guidance or grace woman may be weak enough to misuse one
of her great gifts, her beauty, to her own destruction and that of others. The
prostitute (the most tragic of women) has mastered the sad art of seduction.
She knows which buttons to press to catch a client. Since original sin, lust
has entered into the human heart and, unless a person is protected by grace
and a faithful life of prayer, it is, alas, true that most human beings will fall
into the nets of coarse sexual attraction. What is so tragic about this is that
the beauty of the divine plan for the relations between men and women is
thereby trampled upon and badly stained. It is indeed a shameful thing to
use and abuse another human being. Moreover, sexual sins disgrace man's
soul in a way that cannot be understood when our conception of this
mysterious sphere is purely biological. On the other hand, it is
inconceivable for anyone to fall into sexual depravity (another word for
filth) if he remains aware that God sees him at all times. There are deeds
that can only be accomplished in darkness.
But it is not only women who can seduce men. Men can also seduce
women. And even though generalization is risky, we are tempted to say that
women are usually brought to their fall, not so much because of lust, but
because of the promise of eternal love, or because they are told that their
lover will kill himself if she does not yield to his wishes, or because of
sheer vanity, or because they desperately want "to be wanted'' and
protected. How sweet it is to hear, "I have never seen a woman as beautiful
as you are." "You are the only one who has ever touched my heart." The
drama of Faust and Margarete comes to mind. It is so terribly tragic that
when Margarete finds herself pregnant, abandoned, and in a desperate
situation, she utters the words: "it was so good; it was so beautiful." She
nurtured the illusion that the "great" man who conquered her actually loved
her and, when her eyes opened, she was threatened by despair.
Finally, more than men, women speak about their aches and pains. When
sick, men may grumble but dislike making of their discomfort the topic of
conversation. Usually women grieve more than men and worry about
possible dangers before they become actual. If they yield to this tendency,
their behavior can easily become irrational. Women are more likely than
men to panic when they face a practical problem. The latter feel challenged
and often enjoy tackling technological difficulties; they want to find
solutions to problems. Men usually refuse to think about problems until
they actually take place and they can do something about them. They shun
talking about things which they cannot change or influence. On the other
hand, women — more than men — grasp intuitively the meaning and value
of suffering. Chesterton claims that men are more pleasure-seeking than
women. A friend of my husband who, for many years, was chaplain for
both monks and nuns, told him that the latter were much more willing to
make sacrifices over and above what was strictly commanded by the rule.
In all this, no intelligent woman can find ground for offense. As a matter of
fact, to be reminded of one's weakness is, from a supernatural point of view,
a grace. How many mistakes could we all have avoided if we had reminded
ourselves that without God's help we can do nothing? How many blunders
do we make because we act impulsively and overlook our weaknesses and
limitations? How many sins, faults, mistakes, and stupidities can be traced
back to the fact that their perpetrator did not realize (or did not want to
realize) how weak he was and did not ask for advice? Instead of being
offended when reminded of their weakness, supernaturally motivated
women are grateful. To be conscious of one's weakness and to trust in God's
help is the way to authentic strength and victory. This has been etched
admirably by Saint Paul when he wrote: "It is when I am weak that I am
strong." In the liturgy dedicated to Saint Agnes — a young maid who
suffered martyrdom—the Church writes: "O God who chooses what is
feeble in the world" ("qui infirma mundi eligis ..."). A few days after the
feast of Saint Agnes, the Church celebrates another young female saint:
Dorothy, virgin and martyr. Dom Gueranger comments, "The religion of
Christ alone can produce in timid women, like the saint of today, an energy
which at times surpasses that of the most valiant martyrs among men. Thus
does our Lord glorify His infinite power, by crushing Satan's head with
what is by nature so weak." Once again, the key to their victory over their
innate "weakness" is the supernatural.
Pros
Moreover, the very frailly of women can turn out to be their strength. Their
weakness appeals to pity; it can touch men's hearts and appeal to what is
best in them, namely their chivalrous instinct to help those weaker than
themselves. As mentioned above, there is an unwritten law that was
respected (at least officially) until modern warfare took over: In
emergencies, women and children were saved first. They were the first to
go into lifeboats; they were the first to receive medical help. In daily life, it
is rare indeed that a man turns down a woman's cry for help. Men
appreciate being called upon, being given a chance to show their manliness,
to play the role of a mediaeval knight whose glory was to protect the weak
and even to engage in daring deeds to dazzle and conquer the beautiful lady
of his love.
It is true indeed that women can shed "alligator tears," the silly tears of self-
pity, of self-centered-ness, tears that respond to imaginary offenses, to
wounded vanity. (Some men too can fall into this weakness!) But the fact
that some tears are silly and illegitimate should not blind us to the fact that
tears can be expressions of what is best and noblest in man. When
Augustine, conquered by grace, decided to respond to God's call to change
his life, he was not ashamed to sob. "The floods burst from my eyes, an
acceptable sacrifice to you." Not only did he cry, but he made a point of
informing us that his "defeat" found its expression in tears of repentance.
The Church in her motherly wisdom offers her children a prayer for every
need; she has one special one for the gift of tears: educ de cordis nostri
duritia lacrymas compunctionis (draw from our hardened heart tears of
compunction). A deep conversion is usually "baptized" in tears.
Granted that women cry easily, the question is "why do they cry?" This
whole question edges on whether tears are legitimate or illegitimate. We
live in a world in which tears are called for daily. King David wrote, "My
eyes shed tears, because men do not keep thy law." One of the beatitudes is
"Blessed are those that mourn." Woe to those who do not cry when God is
blasphemed, where odious paintings are exhibited and praised as "works of
art," when some priests say sacrilegious masses, when children are daily
abused, when people are tortured, when millions are starving. Tears are the
proper response to brutality, injustice, cruelty, blasphemy, hatred. Christ
wept when He saw Jerusalem, and when He came to Lazarus's tomb. Saint
Francis of Assisi shed tears because "love was too little loved." As Virgil
put it: "Sunt lacrimae rerum" ("these are tearful things," that is, situations
that call for tears).
Christ promises that in heaven all tears will be dried, and Kierkegaard
comments about the sad condition of those who have never shed a tear. We
should cry over the daily offenses to God, cry over our sins, cry over the
ingratitude of man. The most holy of all women, Mary, is called the mater
dolorosa (sorrowful mother). Her immense sorrow has been admirably
expressed by Giacopone da Todi, in his sublime poem dedicated to the
sorrows of Christ's mother. "Is there one who would not weep, whelm'd in
miseries so deep Christ's dear mother behold." A woman's way to holiness
is clearly to purify her God-given sensitivity and to direct it into the proper
channels. She should fight against maudlin tears and pray for holy tears—
tears of love, of gratitude, of contrition.
We have said that women are more attuned to their emotions than men, and
that this can lead to serious faults. There are cases in which the heart is
wrong (hypertrophy of the heart). A woman's heart can degenerate into a
virgin forest which calls for pruning. Nevertheless, there are situations
when the heart is right and "reason" has become derailed, fallen into cheap
rationalism characterized by the stubborn refusal to admit that many great
truths transcend reason. Rationalism is allergic to "mysteries." Pascal must
have had this in mind when he wrote, "The heart has its reasons that reason
does not know of," and "The last proceeding of reason is to recognize that
there is an infinity of things which are beyond it." Finally, "There is nothing
so conformable to reason as this disavowal of reason."
Women, too, have a mission toward the other sex: the one of awakening and
refining man's affectivity, often atrophied by abstractionism. They are
definitely called upon to "humanize him." In his matchless, humorous way,
Chesterton speaks about "feminine dignity against masculine rowdiness." A
man's heart can be a desert desperately in need of water. We all know men
who are "thinking machines" and are dehumanized. The humorous and, at
times, merciless Kierkegaard never missed a chance of making a thrust at
his deadly enemy, Hegel. He hints at the fact that Hegel's "marriage must
therefore have been as impersonal as his thought. " He clearly wishes us to
feel sorry for Mrs. Hegel!
Female interests are centered on the human side of their lives: their family
life, their relationships to those they love, their concern about their health,
their welfare and, if they are Christians, the spiritual welfare of their
children's souls; in other words, about human concerns. Most men speak
about the stock market, politics, and sports; some speak about intellectual
and artistic questions. Chesterton was right when he wrote, "Women speak
to each other; men speak to the subject they are speaking about."
God has indeed created women to be beautiful ("the sons of God saw that
the daughters of men were fair..."). Their charm, lovableness, and beauty
exercise a powerful attraction on the male sex, and it should be so. It is
noteworthy that feminine loveliness contradicts the biological norm:
Usually the male animal is more beautiful than the female one. The lion is
more beautiful than the lioness; the rooster is more beautiful than the hen;
the male duck has brilliant colors which are denied its female partner. This
is one feature, among many, which points to the fact that sexuality in
animals and human beings is radically different. For no one (except
Schopenhauer) would deny that women are or can be beautiful. It is not by
accident that they are called "the fair sex."
Innocent little girls can have a sweetness and charm that most fathers
cannot resist. I know some who can be very stern toward their sons, but
cannot bring themselves to deny the requests of their little girls who do not
know as yet how lovely they are. With age (especially after puberty) most
girls become conscious of the power they can exercise over men. Those
whose hearts are noble or have been purified by grace will never use their
charm to play with the strong sex, or worse to "seduce" it to gain their own
subjective ends. They will put their gift at the service of the good and not at
the service of evil. This was the case with Esther. She was not seeking any
personal advantage. She wanted to save her people, and she accepted the
risk of being sacrificed in order to achieve this noble end. She did not
intend the death of Haman (even though he was, in fact, executed); she
wanted to liberate her people.
We all know that there are women who, conscious of the power that the
female sex has over men, do not hesitate to use it in order to achieve their
own selfish ends. When a man commits fornication or adultery, we say "he
went to his mistress." Clearly the word "mistress" indicates who is in
command. The power that women can wield over men is great indeed. If
they pursue their own selfish aims, women are Satan's slaves. If they put
their charm at God's service, they are God's great allies. How often have I
heard men say, "It is my wife who brought me back to God." "It is, above
all, by means of woman that piety is first awakened and spreads its
mysterious influence over society ... woman is one of the grand instruments
of which Providence makes use to prepare the way for civilization ... should
she prove false to her high mission, society would perish."
"In the whole evangelical history," says M. De Maistre, "women play a very
remarkable part; and in all the celebrated conquests made by Christianity,
either over individuals or over nations, there has always been some
woman's influence."
PART V
The Transfiguration of Weakness: The Incarnation
This mystery is so great that no human mind can exhaust it. Not only does it
illumine the greatness of God's love for His creatures, not only does it give
to matter a dignity which is a radical condemnation of gnosticism in all its
forms, but it gives to woman an unheard-of dignity. Kierkegaard rightly
remarked that a humble laborer would never imagine that a mighty emperor
knew of his existence. And let us imagine that the mighty emperor not only
knew of his existence, but was willing to die in order to redeem him. This is
something that could never have entered a man's head. Christianity is true
because it is above human invention. Poets and writers have expressed
man's longing to ascend higher. But no one, absolutely no one, either in the
Eastern or in the Western world, has ever conceived of the thought that an
infinitely perfect God, the second person of the Holy Trinity, would choose
to assume man's imperfect nature, to be born of a woman (thereby giving to
the female sex an unheard-of dignity), to know hunger, thirst, fatigue,
suffering, and to experience the most brutal, the most terrible form of death
out of love for sinful creatures. This can only be explained by "divine
madness." Christ, the almighty and all-powerful one, chose to become
weak, to teach men humility. For He shared all human traits except sin. His
teaching aims at opening men's minds and hearts to the fact that their
"strength" is mere illusion, "For without Me, you can do nothing." He told
us that "unless we become like little children" we shall not enter into the
kingdom of God. The child becomes the model we are invited to follow: his
weakness, his helplessness, his total dependence upon others, his fragility.
What a lesson for the proud Pharisees who relied heavily upon their
learning and "perfection."
Saint Paul sheds further light upon this theme in his epistles. Both in
Corinthians I and II he praises "weakness." He writes, "Has not God made
foolish the wisdom of the world? The weakness of God is stronger than
men." And in his second epistle, the great apostle develops the same theme:
"If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." After
having hinted at the amazing graces that he has received, he adds: "...but on
my own behalf, I will not boast except of my weaknesses." In view of this
praise of weakness, how can women be offended when they are called "the
weaker sex?"
This might be aptly called "the Christian revolution," a scandal for the Jews
and a foolishness for the gentiles. It is the melody sung by one saint after
another. It finds a particularly moving formulation and fulfillment in Saint
Therese of Lisieux's "little way": To be unknown, to be hidden, to be
regarded as insignificant and mediocre, to welcome one's "smallness," and
misery. She rejoiced when she made a mistake, not because of the mistake,
but because she was given a chance to taste, once again, her weakness and
helplessness without God's grace. The Story of a Soul is a magnificent
praise of weakness joyfully accepted and transformed by grace into
supernatural victory. Let me repeat: It is sweet for someone who loves to
give credit for victory to the beloved, a beloved who is all powerful, and
often chooses "what is weak and helpless" to overcome the proud illusion
that men are strong and do not need help. From a supernatural point of view
there is nothing, absolutely nothing, which cannot be turned to God's glory.
Every defeat can become a victory, every humiliation a precious jewel in
one's crown, every suffering a glorious mark that makes the sufferer
resemble his Savior. The alcoholic declaring publicly at an AA meeting that
he is hooked on booze thereby changes his humiliating defeat into a
magnificent victory.
PART VI
Women's Supernatural Mission
Against the background of what has been said, we can now perceive the
beauty of femininity as coming out of God's loving hand, and the glorious
mission assigned to it when fecundated by the supernatural. In an
enlightening talk which Edith Stein (now known as Saint Edith Stein)
delivered in Salzburg in 1930, she offered a masterful presentation of the
differences which mark the male and the female nature. Women are more
interested in persons than in things, she claims. And this is true indeed. Let
us imagine the following scenario: A group of men and women are gathered
behind a closed door. When the door is opened, they all enter a large room
where only two things are to be found: a cradle with an infant in it on one
side, and a brand new computer on the other. Women will flock to the
cradle; men (after having given a brief glance at the baby) will opt for the
masterpiece of technology and will start "playing" with it with passion.
Women will rush to cuddle the baby and will radiate when the little one
starts cooing. Obviously women are right, for a child is a marvel of God's
creation that no technological accomplishment can match. Deep down, men
must know that women have made the better choice, but it is hard for them
to resist the fascination of technology.
Moreover, women place the concrete over the abstract, individuals over
universals. Once again they are right. To make this claim does not denigrate
the awesome world of abstraction, which certainly deserves our intellectual
admiration. But it should be clear that the one concrete true God, the "Deus
vivens et videns" of Saint Augustine, is metaphysically superior to the noble
Platonic world of ideas. Great metaphysicians have understood that the
ultimate reality cannot be an abstraction. The abstract, however great it
might be, is metaphysically "thin" in that it lacks personhood. It is
luminously clear that the one true God cannot be an "idea," a principle. He
must be a person.
Edith Stein further claims that women are more interested in wholes than in
parts. Their minds do not dissect an object; they grasp it in totality. This is
stated, again, not to denigrate the analytic power of men's minds, but to
show that the female nature is structurally (i.e., without deliberation) geared
to what is metaphysically higher. Because their minds and their hearts are
closely related (their minds work best when animated by their hearts), their
grasp of persons and objects does not fall into the traps which threaten
specialists, who no longer see the forest because of the trees. Many great
minds specialize so much in one facet of reality that they lose sight of the
whole picture. Chesterton might have had this in mind when he wrote that
"Cleverness shall be left for men and wisdom for women." A similar
thought has been expressed by John Bartlett: "Women are wiser than men
because they know less but understand more." For wisdom is not
scholarship and the latter is often the refuge of people who have diplomas,
who spend their lives bent on books but forget to live! A simple Italian
peasant woman, say Mama Margarita — the saintly mother of Don Bosco
— certainly possessed a remarkable wisdom as educator, a wisdom which
is, alas, very often denied to "experts" in child psychology.
Another great gift that God has granted the female nature is the gift of
receptivity. This is not to be confused with passivity as Aristotle does when
he claims that the male is superior to the female because he is "active,"
whereas she is passive. Clearly passivity is inferior to activity, for one is
only being "acted upon." But this is not true of receptivity which involves
an alert, awakened, joyful readiness to be fecundated by another person or
by a beautiful object. All created persons are essentially receptive because
"there is nothing that we have not received." Women feel at home in this
receptivity and move in it with ease and grace. This is already inscribed in
their biological nature: a wife giving herself to her husband accepts joyfully
to be fecundated, to receive. Her receptivity is a self-giving.
But the marvel of childbirth is that even though she has only received a
living seed — so microscopic that it is invisible to the human eye — after
nine months she gives her spouse a human being, with an immortal soul
made to God's image and likeness. The moment of conception takes place
hours after the marital embrace, but when the sperm fecundates the female
egg we can assume (even though it has never formally been taught by the
Church) that at that very moment God creates the child's soul — a totally
new soul which, being immaterial, cannot be produced by human beings.
God therefore "touches" the female body in placing this new soul into the
temple of her womb. This is another incredible privilege that the Creator
grants to women. During pregnancy, she has the extraordinary privilege of
carrying two souls in her body. If those unfortunate women who consider
having an abortion were conscious of this, it is most unlikely that any of
them would consent to the crime.
It is worth mentioning that while it is the husband who fecundates his wife,
one says "she has given herself to him," implying that this receptivity is also
a unique donation: To accept to receive is a very special gift. There are
some unfortunate persons who would prefer to die than to receive, for the
very thought of being indebted is repulsive to them. Kierkegaard writes
about the demonic despair in which a man prefers the torments of hell to
accepting help, "the humiliation of becoming nothing in the hands of the
helper for whom all things are possible ..." To accept her state of
creaturehood is easier for a woman than for a man, who is always tempted
to be in command. How many men revolt at their metaphysical dependence;
how many men resent being sick and weak and therefore forced to rely on
the help of others?
In childbirth, this creative miracle that stems from womanly receptivity is,
as we saw, exemplified in a unique way. It finds its climax in the words of
the Blessed Virgin who only said "yes" to God's offer; she did not "do"
anything, she simply said: "be it done to me according to Thy word." As
soon as she uttered these holy words, she conceived the Savior of the world
in the mystery of her blessed womb. She carried in the temple of her female
organs the King of the Universe Whom the whole universe cannot contain.
Important as the role of the father is, women collaborate in a very special
way with God's creation of new human beings who are called upon to serve
Him in this life and enjoy Him forever in heaven.
At the turn of the century, the French academy offered a prize to the person
who best answered the following question: "Why are there more men than
women in jails?" The award was given to the person who wrote, "because
there are more women than men in churches." One dreads to think of the
possibility that "the pious sex" would let itself be convinced that prayer is
only for the weak and the incompetent, meaningless for those aiming at
greatness. Here is a truth worth meditating upon: Women are more geared
to piety because they have a keener awareness of their weakness. This is
their true strength.
PART VII
Women and Feelings
Feelings can refer secondarily to experiences which are very different from
this first type: We are thinking of "psychic feelings" such as moods,
depression (caused by a physical condition), the jolliness which most
people experience when drinking alcoholic beverages, and so on. These
feelings have no bodily location—as the first clearly do — but they share
with the first their lack of intentionality. One need not know their cause in
order to experience them.
It is noteworthy that these spiritual responses not only share the features
that intellect and will possess, (e.g., one cannot love without knowing the
object of one's love), but surpass them in richness and plenitude. In
spiritual response, man's intellect is fully activated. The role of the will is
also crucial, for our spiritual affective responses must be "sanctioned'' by
our will (in my husband's terminology); this sanctioning makes them truly
to become ours. All feelings which have not been "sealed" by our will, are
likely to wither and die. Like the statues of Daedalus, they must be "nailed"'
to gain their full validity. What a difference exists between a person feeling
compassion and one strengthened by a will to be compassionate and,
therefore, anxious to act compassionately when actions are called for. The
folly of claiming that one is compassionate and yet refusing to help has
been ironically expressed in a play of Nestroy, an Austrian playwright: A
rich man witnessing the abject misery of a beggar orders his servants to
"throw this beggar down the steps; his misery breaks my heart." What a
difference there is between a feeling of contrition and the will to go to
confession and ask for forgiveness.
Feelings are further viewed as "inferior" because they cannot be
commanded. But this argument is unconvincing: Grace cannot be
commanded by the will either, not because it is "inferior" but because it is
"superior." It is an unmerited gift. Those who have experienced moments of
radiant spiritual joy and profound peace know that these feelings are "gifts"
for which we should be grateful, and which God can take away from us
when He so wishes. Saint Teresa of Avila writes emphatically that spiritual
joys should not be "sought" and pursued. When received, they call for
gratitude. But our heart should not rest in them and lose its peace when they
are taken away.
The heart (the tabernacle of affectivity) symbolizes the whole person. When
one falls in love, one says to the beloved, "I give you my heart." It would be
strange indeed if one said "I give you my intellect, or my will, or my
memory." It is written in the Bible: "Give me your heart." But it is also true
that the human heart can incarnate wickedness and corruption. It therefore
symbolizes the best and the worst in man. Man's daily prayer should be
"make my heart like unto yours." In the saints and in the wise, intellect,
will, and heart are fully purified.
The liturgy of the Holy Church gives testimony to the role of the heart in
religious life; she has blessed us with a litany to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
There is no litany dedicated to the divine intellect or the divine will. When
Christ in agony spoke the heartbreaking words — "I am thirsty"—the Holy
One was thirsting for our love. The heart is where love resides. The heart
needs to be vindicated and this can best be achieved by distinguishing
between valid and invalid feelings, legitimate and illegitimate feelings,
"baptized feelings and unbaptized ones." Failing to "discriminate" between
them inevitably leads to a denigration of this rich field of human
experiences, and was bound to have a negative effect on women who,
traditionally, have been called "the heart of the family"
The greatest and deepest religious and human experiences are related to the
heart. It is our heart that makes us vulnerable. The heart of the Savior was
"bruised by our sins." It is the heart that loves, that is merciful, that has
compassion, that feels contrition, that cries over sins, that is wounded by
wickedness. Saint Francis' heart was bleeding "because love was so little
loved." It is the heart that suffers with the beloved and would be happy to
suffer for the beloved. Christ tells us that "He is meek and humble of heart."
Saint Benedict has understood this union so deeply that, in his Rule, he
keeps stressing the importance in religious life of a reverent bodily posture.
It does make a difference whether man kneels or stands, whether one bows
or not, whether one sits straight or yields to "the law of gravity." One of the
regrettable things which have taken place in the wake of Vatican II is that
all these so-called "exterior" manifestations of piety which speak to the
senses of the body have been abolished. Statues have been removed from
our Churches; the violet cloths that used to cover statues from Passion
Sunday onward are no longer used. So many exterior reminders that we are
here on this earth to serve God have been eliminated, with all the deplorable
consequences that we now know. In my home country, what used to be
Catholic Belgium, one could not take a walk in the beautiful forest
surrounding the capital, or in the countryside, without seeing small little
chapels dedicated to Christ, His Holy Mother, or some saint. It was a
constant reminder that faith should animate all our actions. The devil is a
master psychologist and knows exactly how much we depend upon visual
perceptions to buttress our faith. Destroying the physical signs of faith that
move our affective reception certainly was not ordered by the texts of
Vatican II. Who is the culprit?
The great defense of the body and the nobility of its relation to feeling is the
profound fact of the Resurrection. How deeply Christian is the dogma of the
resurrection of the body: To be human is to be a person incarnated in a
body. It is therefore proper and just that this companion of our earthly life
should partake in the glory or ignominy of our eternal fate. Man's soul is
immortal and survives the destruction of his body; but the fullness of
human nature calls for the resurrection of the flesh. The soul can exist
without the body, but is widowed when the body died; it then longs for the
reunion with its companion.
The conclusion we can draw from this brief survey of feelings is that it is
unwarranted to regard women as inferior because feelings play a central
role in their lives. If the feelings vibrating in their hearts are noble,
appropriate, good, legitimate, sanctioned, and pleasing to God, then they are
precious jewels in God's sight.
PART VIII
The Mystery of the Female Body
Saint Bonaventure writes that the world is like a book heralding the
greatness of the Creator, but we must learn to read its message. He who has
mastered this art through grace will discover that the contemplation of
creation provides the soul with rich spiritual food. He whose eyes are
opened will be able to decipher the divine message issuing from inanimate
nature, plants, animals, clouds, the sky. They all sing the praise of the great
King. Natural beauty speaks eloquently about the Beauty of the Creator that
it modestly reflects. They are God's footprints (vestigia), Saint Bonaventure
tells us. Once this truth is grasped, Saint Paul's exhortation that we should
be praying at all times becomes not only understandable, but easy to follow.
For everything in creation speaks of God, provided we are willing to open
our eyes and ears to it. The same thought is expressed in Saint Francis of
Sales. This gentle saint stresses repeatedly that the cosmos is rich in
analogies elevating our minds and souls from the material to the spiritual,
from the created to the Creator.
A contemplation of the female body can yield rich insights into the mission
of women. The first thing that comes to mind is that in her body the
intimate organs are not visible. They are all "hidden" within her. In this, she
differs clearly from her male counterpart. This fact is rich in symbolism:
What is hidden usually refers to something mysterious, something that
should be protected from indiscreet looks. The very structure of her body
symbolizes a garden that should be carefully guarded, for the keys of this
garden belong to God. It is His properly in a special sense and is to be kept
untouched until He allows the bride-to-be to give the keys to her husband-
to-be of what is called, in the Canticle of Canticles, a "hortus conclusus" ("a
closed garden"). How beautiful when, on the night of her wedding, the
young bride can say to the bridegroom: "I have kept this garden unsullied
for you; now that God has received our pledge to live our married life in
His sight (in conspectu Dei), I am granted the permission to give you the
keys to this garden, and I trust that you will approach it with fear and
trembling." How very sad when this garden has already been trampled upon
by impure feet and ravaged by lust. The bridegroom should be reminded
that God's permission is required in order for him to penetrate into this
sacred enclosure, and that he should do so with both reverence and
gratitude.
Not only are the female organs "hidden," they are also veiled. A veil
symbolizes both mystery and sacredness. When Moses came down from
Mount Sinai where he had been permitted to hear God's voice, he veiled his
face as an appropriate response to his overwhelming privilege. In Catholic
churches, the tabernacle is veiled when the divine host is present. This
"veil" is so essential to femininity that Saint Augustine wrote that even
when a female child is the fruit of rape, fornication, or adultery, her little
body is not denied this mysterious covering. The veil of virginity is a very
special female privilege.
On the other hand, those who have been protected by God's grace should
humbly thank Him. They should say in their heart: "Not to us, O Lord, not
to us, but to Thy name give glory." Woe to the virgin whose purity is
stained by pride, who gloats over her virginity, who feels "precious" and
superior because "she is untouched," and harbors the erroneous belief that
her "virtue" is due to her own merit. The words of Christ then come to
mind: "...prostitutes will precede you in heaven."
Husband and wife are called upon to collaborate with God in the creation of
another human being. But they must remember that being creatures they
can only "procreate, " they cannot create. Unless the husbands body has
living seeds, unless the wife's body has eggs, the process of fertilization
cannot take place. Some preexisting matter is not only necessary, it is
essential in order for procreation to be realized. God alone can create the
soul, it cannot originate from either parent. The soul is not made of some
preexisting matter. It is a totally new creation. Human beings cannot
produce something out of nothing.
Our great concern throughout this book has been to eliminate the deeply
rooted prejudice which foolishly asserts that the whole of Judeo-Christian
tradition—and very particularly the Catholic Church — has discriminated
against women. But the news media have been so efficient at propagating
this new "gospel" that many nuns left their convents and joined the unhappy
army of women whose vocation is to fight "sexism"—a newly discovered
capital sin—which, in their eyes, is so grave that other offenses against God
seem to pale by comparison. Such tragic aberrations are possible only in the
souls whose sense of the supernatural has been warped, nay, destroyed.
The woman is more mysterious than her male companion. On the artistic
level, this is strikingly expressed in one of the greatest of all paintings, the
Mona Lisa of Leonardo da Vinci. One can look at this masterpiece for
hours; the more one looks at it, the more one feels the mystery that this
female presence radiates. It is inconceivable that a male portrait could
visibly express such an unfathomable depth. For this reason men often
complain "that they cannot understand the female psyche." Being more
"linear," more guided by rational considerations, less subtle, men must learn
to "transcend" themselves in order to enter into a deep communion with
their female counterpart. Women, too, will have to achieve a similar act of
transcendence to understand man's psyche, but it is probably less difficult
for them to do so than for men to understand women. She is, by nature,
more receptive, more tuned to others. It is easier for her to feel empathy, to
feel herself into others.
We have pointed out that the reproductive organs of the woman are hidden
in her body; they are not "exterior," they are not visible. For these various
reasons, it is justified to say that the "second sex" is wrapped in mystery;
when women betray the mystery confided to them they hurt not only
themselves, but society at large, and very especially the Church. The fearful
sexual decadence that we have witnessed in the course of the last forty
years can be traced back, at least in part, to the fashion world's systematic
attempt to eradicate in girls the "holy bashfulness" which is the proper
response that women should give to what is personal, intimate, and calls for
veiling. To dress modestly is the appropriate response that women should
give to their "mystery." Noblesse oblige. The fashions of the day are all
geared toward destroying women's sensitivity for the dignity of their sex.
Deep sadness is called for when one watches Western girls running around
practically naked and then compare them with how the Hindu or Moslem
women are clothed with modesty grace, and dignity. No doubt, a
mastermind has initiated these decadent fashions which aim at destroying
female modesty. The state of our contemporary society sheds light on the
fact that when women "no longer know how to blush," it is a portent that
this society is on the verge of moral collapse. Women carry a heavy share of
guilt because they betray their human and moral mission. When women are
pure, men will respect, nay, venerate them; they will also hear the call
challenging them to chastity.
Education in modesty should begin at the earliest age. Little girls should be
gently trained to respect their bodies. Saint Benedict understood deeply the
effects that our body language, our bodily postures have on our souls. This
includes one's way of dressing; one's way of sitting; not crossing one's legs
in a manner which can be offensive, not wearing shorts which, although
acceptable for the male sex, are likely to undermine the female respect for
the mystery of her body.
It is noteworthy that whereas there are special masses for apostles, popes,
bishops, confessors, abbots, and martyrs, for women there are only two
categories: virgin and nonvirgin; martyrs and n on martyrs. The Holy Bride
of Christ dedicates a special liturgy for virgins. No such privilege exists for
celibate priests. In so doing, the Church acknowledges the special dignity
God has chosen to give to women. This seems to indicate that virginity
differs from celibacy. Whereas both celibacy and virginity symbolize a total
self-donation to God, virginity has an additional virtue: the consecration of
an organ (namely the female womb) which, through God's infinite mercy,
has sheltered the God-man for nine months. May we suggest that the fact
that the female organs are hidden by a veil was a presaging that, in God's
plans, a female womb was to hide the King of Glory, "Him that the whole
universe cannot contain?"
If little girls were made aware of the great mystery confided to them, their
purity would be guaranteed. The very reverence which they would have
toward their own bodies would inevitably be perceived by the other sex.
Men are talented at reading women's body language, and they are not likely
to risk being humiliated when a refusal is certain. Perceiving women's
modesty, they would take their cue and, in return, approach the female sex
with reverence, instead of with today's brutal irreverence which unleashes
lust and impurity.
In fact, it is not true that sex is an instinct like hunger and thirst. Not only is
sex always deep and serious (which cannot be said of other instincts), it is
definitely meant to be at the service of the deepest human aspiration: love.
It is love alone that gives sex its true meaning, which will forever remain
hidden to the person who only perceives its biological aspect. That sex
differs radically from other instincts should be clear from the fact that
another person is involved. Food is inanimate and so is drink. But in sex
man has a partner and this partner, being a person made to God's image and
likeness, must be approached with reverence. How many persons have been
deeply wounded—maybe for life — because they have been played with!
We use food as a means to satisfy our hunger, we drink water to quench our
thirst, conscious of the fact that these inanimate objects are at our service;
they are there "for us." Water is not "loved" for itself; it is a means to satisfy
a need. But another human being, as Kant has clearly expressed, should
never be used as a means. Because of his dignity as a person, one's partner
should be approached with reverence. He is not a tool; he is not a plaything
which happens to give pleasure. For this reason alone, we can already
understand the seriousness of the sexual sphere.
Moreover, because sex is related to something not only deep but intimate, it
implies a self-revelation; as it is said in Genesis, "Adam knew Eve." This is
a succinct but eloquent way of saying that, in the mutual donation of the
spouses, they "reveal" in a way which is matchless. This self-revelation can
only take place with God's express permission, for we belong to Him. At
the same time, it is a self-donation which by its very nature calls for a total
commitment to another person. One cannot give oneself to many persons
simultaneously. One cannot "reveal" oneself to more than one person: the
person with whom we are bound in the holy sacrament of matrimony.
People cannot live without a minimum of food and drink. True, some
mystics have survived on the Holy Eucharist, but they were fed in a
miraculous fashion. But it is a lie to claim that human beings become
crippled if they have no sexual life. Innumerable saints of both sexes have
led celibate lives or taken and kept a vow of virginity, but they all had
radiant, fulfilled personalities, and often lived to a long, ripe age. Let us
imagine how ludicrous it would be if all of a sudden a young person who
seemed to enjoy a blooming health dropped dead; according to the laws of
certain states, an autopsy must be performed on the corpse. How ridiculous
it would be if, after hours of careful dissection of the dead person, the
doctor would declare virginity to be the cause of her demise! Everyone
knows that this does not make sense. But we all know people who die
young because they have abused sex and caught diseases that unforgiving
nature has linked to these aberrations.
We have mentioned several times that every sin brings with it its own
punishment. Apart from the possibility of serious infections, lewd people
will never taste the true beauty of a sexual union based on mutual love and
lived in reverence. They certainly have tasted the poisonous violence of
passion and an intensity of pleasure which, as Plato wrote centuries ago,
nails the soul to the body. But the sweetness of a mutual self-donation,
accomplished in trembling reverence, will never be theirs. Esau sold his
birthright for a mess of pottage. Such unfortunate individuals place
piggishness above love. Just as Freud devoted his life to the sexual sphere
and never understood its deeper meaning, so the people whose god is sex
will never experience its true meaning and beauty. Like Alberich in
Wagner's ring-cycle, they will experience lust, but their punishment is that
they will never taste the sweetness of true love.
MATERNITY
Whereas few men are called upon to become priests, all women, without
exception, are called upon to be mothers. The saintly Cardinal Mindzenty
has written a book about motherhood which—thanks to the inspiration and
example given him by his holy mother—contains the most sublime
reflections ever made about this topic. Indeed, "maternity is God's
tenderness." Maternity is the great female charism which corresponds to the
charism of priesthood granted to some men. God has decided that these two
charisms are not compatible.
In her book The Eternal Woman, Gertrud von le Fort writes: "To be a
mother, to feel maternally, means to turn especially to the helpless, to
incline lovingly and helpfully to every small and weak thing upon the
earth." The diabolical work that has taken place since the legalization of
abortion is that it has destroyed, in those tragic women who have allowed
their child to be murdered, their sense for the sacredness of maternity.
Abortion not only murders the innocent; it spiritually murders women.
Those who devote their loving attention to these victims of our decadent
society know that the wound created in their souls is so deep that only
God's grace can heal it. The very soul of the woman is meant to be
maternal. Once this sublime calling has been trampled upon, such women
become "unsexed;" they are "sick unto death." Maternity is a sublime
calling, and even though man's ungrateful heart often forgets his mother's
sufferings to bring him into the world and her endless devotion in order to
bring him up, it is well-known that when a man faces death on the
battlefield, his last words, his last thoughts are often directed to his mother.
Dying soldiers scream, "Mother."
PART IX
Mary and the Female Sex
The privilege of being a woman is particularly highlighted by the fact that
Mary—the most perfect creature —was a woman. Every female child is,
like the Holy Virgin, born with a mysterious veil hiding her feminine
organs. Every woman has a womb; and this is a privilege because it was in
a female womb that the Savior of the world was hidden. Every woman has
breasts and every woman should meditate upon the fact that the King of the
Universe was breastfed by the holiest of creatures. Every mother
breastfeeding her child is doing exactly what took place in Bethlehem,
Egypt, and Nazareth centuries ago. Because her female nature creates a
deep bond between woman and the Holy Virgin, women are called upon to
imitate Mary's virtues: first and foremost, her radiant humility. Saint
Augustine tells us that he found some admirable virtues among pagans (let
us think of Socrates), but that never, absolutely never, did he find a pagan
who possessed the virtue of humility. The reason is that this virtue is
possible only on the supernatural plane; it is therefore not accessible to
those whose outlook is limited to natural ethics. The humble person dreads
to be called humble, and actually suffers when someone praises him for
possessing this elusive virtue. The proud person, on the contrary, loves to
hear his "humility" commended and basks in this praise. As long as we
compare ourselves to other human creatures—be it for physical,
intellectual, or spiritual characteristics—we shall always find someone who
is "worse" off than we are. We can easily console ourselves for our lack of
talents by pointing to someone who is more deprived than we are. We all
know persons who are ugly and yet who enjoy pointing to the still greater
ugliness of someone whose "dowry" is more "anemic" than theirs.
But humility refrains from making purely human comparisons. This virtue
teaches us to place ourselves naked in front of our Creator, the infinitely
perfect and Holy One. Such a confrontation must bring us to our knees and
force us to acknowledge that we are "nothing but dust and ashes" as
Abraham said when he begged God to spare Sodom and Gomorrah. It is
inconceivable that someone should stand in front of the one true God and
persist in the illusion that he is "something. " All the gifts we possess come
from God; by ourselves we are nothing, and would fall back into
nothingness if God's hand did not sustain us in existence through the
concursus divinus (divine concurrence). This confrontation between God
and man could be crushing and lead us to metaphysical despair (let us recall
the cry of Saint Peter: "Depart from me, O Lord, for I am a sinful man").
But the recognition of our nothingness should go hand in hand with an
awareness that God, the infinitely good and merciful God, loves his
creatures, these poor beggars that He has knighted by making them to His
image and likeness. The moment that man perceives both his misery and his
greatness, the consciousness that he is loved brings him such overwhelming
joy that, appropriately, he prefers to be nothing because the one who loves
him and whom he has learned to love is everything. A loving spouse
rejoices in acknowledging the superiority of her spouse. What a joy to
contemplate the perfections of the one we love. What a joy it is to sing a
hymn of gratitude because this beautiful being deigns to love us. All the
saints have found their delight in declaring their nothingness and their trust
that "He can make great things in us."
This is the first great lesson that Mary teaches us, for her response to God's
unfathomable gift is the Magnificat. Upon receiving the message that God
had chosen her as the tabernacle in which His Divine Son would be
incarnated, she expresses surprise. The favor offered her was something she
felt so unworthy of. Moreover, she was a virgin: How can a virgin become a
mother? But upon receiving the assurance that the Holy Spirit would cover
her, she humbly declares herself to be the handmaid of the Lord, and
actualizes the feminine charism of receptivity by saying: "be it done to me
according to Thy Word." Knowing that this holy pregnancy will cause
concern to Saint Joseph, who does not know the immense gift that his
fiancée has received, she puts all her trust in God, knowing that He will
protect the honor of His chosen one. Her faith is boundless. Later, she is
told that her heart will be pierced by a sword, and she is given a
premonition that she will have to share her Son's passion. Here her life
echoes the words of Lamentations 1:12, "O all ye that pass by the way,
attend, and see if there be any sorrow like to my sorrow," or of the Canticle
of Canticles, "Depart from me, I will weep bitterly: labour not to comfort
me." Always again, she is prayerful, silent, recollected, loving, seemingly in
the background and yet gloriously in the foreground, through her maternity.
She alone combines two unique privileges given to women: virginity and
maternity. By her virginity, she testifies to her total donation to her God and
creator. She knows that the mysterious garden of her womb is to be kept
untouched by man, so that not only is the veil of her virginity untorn before
she conceives Christ but is kept so after His birth; for no one was worthy to
inhabit in the holy place where He had found a human refuge during nine
months. Women have to choose between biological motherhood and
virginity. Both callings are magnificent, but they are not compatible. Just as
the priesthood and maternity cannot be united in one and the same person,
so God has decided that biological motherhood and virginity cannot be
united. He makes one unique exception: for the sweet flower of Nazareth
that He has chosen to be the mother of His Son. "Thou are blessed and
venerable, O Virgin Mary, who without any violation of purity, wert found
the mother of our Saviour. O virgin mother of God He whom the whole
world is unable to contain being made man, enclosed Himself in thy
womb."
But Mary's virginity and motherhood also manifest the immense spiritual
fecundity of virginity. The virgin who consecrates herself to God in total
donation is not and cannot remain barren. She, too, is called to be called
mother, but her motherhood is of a spiritual nature, and for this reason is
open to the world. A biological mother can, in exceptional cases, bring
twenty-four children into the world (Saint Catherine of Sienna was the
twenty-fourth child of Lapa). A consecrated virgin is called upon to be the
mother of millions of souls whose sorrows she carries in her heart and to
whom she hopes to help give birth in eternal life. Paul Evdokimov writes:
"La femme tient avant tout ce charisme maternel d'enfanter le Christ dans
les ames des hommes" ("The special maternal charism is to give birth to
Christ in men's souls").
No other human being has been given such a power, because no other
human being was more anxious to love and to serve. The liturgy has this
admirable prayer: "Adonai, Domine, Deus magne et mirabilis, qui dedisti
salutem in manu feminae, exaudi preces servorum tuorum" ("O Adonai,
Lord God, great and wonderful, Who didst give salvation by the hand of a
woman; hear the prayers of Thy servants"), the Saturday before the Fourth
Sunday of September. This willingness to give everything and to feel
privileged in doing so explains why Mary is the "one who refutes all
heresies." Fathers of the Church, Doctors of the Church, truly Catholic
theologians, are all called upon to defend Catholic orthodoxy. But it is the
humble Virgin of Nazareth who refutes all the errors that the enemy of man
keeps spreading, and sometimes, alas, through the very theologians, priests,
and others who have the special mission of defending revealed truth. "But
what a mystery that poor, weak humanity, inferior to the angels by nature,
should be chosen to give to the angels their king and their queen." Every
woman should tremble with gratitude when reading these words which
highlight so powerfully the dignity that, through Mary, they have been
given in the economy of redemption.