Eleanor Leahy - 2022 American Dream Essay Template Rubric
Eleanor Leahy - 2022 American Dream Essay Template Rubric
Eleanor Leahy - 2022 American Dream Essay Template Rubric
Mr.Smith
Junior English
10/4/22
Over time the American Dream has not only changed but also has created obstacles for it
to be achievable. There was a time where the American Dream was believed to be achievable for
all and it was the same for everyone, the American Dream was defined as wealth, success, a
college degree, and a happy family. Over time it has changed to being happy and healthy, both
mentally and physically. Over time, the chance to achieve the American Dream has changed due
to obstacles being created; these include wealth, education, race, gender, mental health and
disabilities.
Over time the American Dream has evolved into something a little bit different from
what it used to be. There was a time in American history when the American Dream was all
about going to college, getting a good job, finding a good house and having a happy family. Until
times changed. The American Dream has turned into a want and or need to just be happy and
healthy; mentally and physically. “The house on Mango Street is ours, and we don't have to
pay rent to anybody, or share the yard with the people downstairs, or be careful not to
make too much noise, and there isn't a landlord banging on the ceiling with a
broom.”(House on Mango Street) . She is finally in a place that feels like her own. She explains
that she doesn't have a landlord and how the house finally feels like hers. She is happy about
where she is in life. This is also demonstrated in the poem “I Hear America Singing” by Walt
Whitman. He explains that he hears Americans doing their jobs and how happy they seem. “The
delicious singing of the mother, or of the young wife at work, or of the girl sewing or
washing,/Each singing what belongs to him or her and to none else” Walt Whitman says in the
poem I Hear America Singing. He explains how the people are happy with what they are doing
in life. He explains the people doing their jobs and hearing them sing and it shows them being
happy about not only their lives but where they have found themselves in life. Both Whitman
and Cisneros explain how the definition of the American Dream has changed from being about
education and wealth to being about being happy and healthy. In conclusion the American
The American Dream was believed to be achievable by everyone but the reality if it is
that is anything but true. There are many factors that play into the achievability of the Dream;
wealth, education, living situation, race, gender, disabilities, and mental health. “‘I think the
American Dream for the average man doesn’t exist any more’”, Linden Strandberg says in the
article American Dream Faces Harsh New Reality. Linden explains that the achievability of the
American Dream isn’t for everyone. Only certain groups of people will be able to achieve it. For
example if you grow up in poverty and in a bad school system, it makes it hard to get a good
education and find the money to go to college. This is also demonstrated in the article
“Coronavirus Reminds Asian Americans Like Me That Our Belonging is Conditional”. Cho
explains how people of different races are treated in America. “Vincent Chin, a Chinese
American autoworker, was brutally beaten to death in Detroit in 1982, blamed for the Japanese
“takeover” of the auto industry. And just recently, an Asian woman in Brooklyn had acid thrown
at her while she was taking out the trash, another among the skyrocketing attacks against
Asians.” John Cho writes in the article Coronavirus Reminds Asian Americans Like Me That
Our Belonging is Conditional. These two people were doing day to day things that everyone
does; one was doing his job and the other was taking out her trash. But while they did these two
things they both experienced violence because of the Asian hate created by people that believe
that they are to blame for certain issues. Vincent Chin was beaten to death while he worked at an
auto body shop in 1982, the reason he was killed was because he was blamed for the Japanese
takeover of the auto industry. Chin couldn't even do his job without experiencing extreme
violence that led to death. Both pieces explain how there have been obstacles created so that only
certain groups of people could achieve the American Dream. Race plays a big part in the
In conclusion the American Dream and the achievability of it has changed as time has
gone on. The American Dream has gone from being about wealth and success to being about
being happy and healthy both mentally and physically. Not only has the Dream changed but
obstacles have been created but people in this day and age. Race, gender, disabilities, and health
have been put in place as obstacles. The fact that the obstacles created include things like race
and gender are a serious issue. No one should be held back from anything because of their race
and or gender.
Work Cited
Cho, John. “Coronavirus Reminds Asian Americans Belonging Is Conditional.” Los Angeles
ho-coronavirus.
Cisneros, Sandra. The House on Mango Street. 2nd Vintage Contemporaries ed., 25th
Shapiro, Ari. “The American Dream Faces Harsh New Reality.” NPR, 29 May 2012. NPR,
https://www.npr.org/2012/05/29/153513153/american-dream-faces-harsh-new-reality.
Whitman, Walt. “I Hear America Singing.” Poetry Foundation, Poetry Foundation, 2 Oct. 2022,
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46480/i-hear-america-singing.
Thesis establishes a
topic and a claim
Thesis Comments:
Comments:
Comments:
Comments:
All quotes are correctly Most quotes are correctly Shows evidence of
integrated integrated basic proofreading
Shows evidence of
proofreading
Comments:
Eleanor,
Some revisions for you to consider:
● Review & correct MLA (quote integrations, in text citations, title formatting, etc)
● Avoid repetition when you have already introduced an idea
● Seek to analyze, rather than summarize sources
● Consider how to synthesize sources (how do multiple texts being put together enhance
your ideas)
● Cut back on the ideas in your thesis (there were so many examples listed, but you only
addressed two)
You might want to come see me during Clipper Block, or after school, so that we can go over
some things that might be helpful for future writing assignments.
Grade: C