Riting: English

RITING IN
ENGLISH
A Course Book for Canbbean Students
Hazel Simmons-McDonald · Linda Fields ' Peter Roberts

WRITING IN
ENGLISH
2nd Edition
WRITING IN
ENGLISH
A Course Book for Caribbean Students
2nd Edition
Hazel Simmons-McDonald | Linda Fields | Peter Roberts

First published in Jamaica, 1997
Revised and Reprinted, 2012 by
Ian Randle Publishers
11 Cunningham Avenue
Box 686
Kingston 6
www.ianrandlepublishers.com
© 2012 Hazel Simmons-McDonald, Linda Fields and Peter Roberts
Epub Edition @ July 2013 ISBN: 978-976-637-672-7
NATIONAL LIBRARY OF JAMAICA CATALOGUING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA
Simmons-McDonald, Hazel
Writing in English: A Course Book for Caribbean Students / Hazel
Simmons-McDonald. Linda Fields, Peter Roberts. – 2nd ed.
p. ; cm.
ISBN 978-976-637-396-6 (pbk)
1. English language – Study and teaching (Higher) – Caribbean Area

2. English language – Writing – Study and teaching (Higher) – Caribbean Area
3. Creole dialects, English – Caribbean Area
I. Fields, Linda II. Roberts, Peter III. Titles
421 dc22
Writing in English. Copyright © 2012 by Hazel Simmons-McDonald, Linda Fields and

Peter Roberts. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Conventions.
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Cover and Book Design by Ian Randle Publishers

Printed and bound in the United States
Writing in EnglishWriting in English Writing in English Writing in English Writing in Eng-
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Contents
English Writing in EnglishWriting in English Writing in English Writing in English Writing
in English Writing in EnglishWriting in English Writing in English Writing in English Writ
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Preface vii
Section One – Introduction to Language and Literacy 1

1. Some Functions of Language 3
2. Notions of Language 16
3. Literacy Needs in Today’s Society 31
Section Two – Language Varieties 39

4. Variation in Language 41
5. Varieties Used in Formal Writing 51
6. Speech-related Varieties 64
7. Varieties in the Caribbean 70
Section Three – Discourse Types 82

8. Prose Writing 84
9. Rhetorical Mode 88
10. Purpose 99
11. Structure and Evaluation of Text 104
12. Academic Language Across the Disciplines 126
Section Four – Strategies for Written Discourse 135

13. The Importance of Developing Your Writing Abilities 138
14. Having a Sense of Audience/Keeping Your Readers in Mind 144
15. Pre-writing/lnvention Strategies 149
16. Writing Strategies for Shaping the Draft 161
17. Rewriting Strategies 209
Section Five – Exposition Analysis 224

18. What is Exposition? 226
19. Illustration 235
20. Analysis 245
21. Causal Analysis 268
22. Definition 283
23. Classification and Division 290
24. Comparison and Contrast 398
vi Writing in English
Section Six – Argument 304

25. What is Argument? 306
26. Fallacies of Argument 325
27. Analysing Arguments 336
28. Writing an Argumentative Essay 360
Section Seven – Documenting Research 377

29. Documenting Research 379
30. Note Making from Written Sources 383
31. Documentation Formats 394
32. The Research Process 406
Section Eight – Discourse Across the Academic Disciplines

416
33. The Demands of Academic Writing 418
34. Academic Discourse in the Arts and Humanities 426
35. Discourse in the Sciences 468
36. The Discourse of Business 486
Section Nine – Usage and Diction 516

37. Special Problems of Discourse 518
38. Word Choice – Diction 524
39. Figurative Language 529
40. Style 536
41. Vocabulary 540
Section Ten – Grammar Review 544

42. Subject/Verb Agreement 546
43. Pronouns 559
44. Nouns 572
45. Past Participles 577
46. Passive Constructions 584
47. Tense 587
48. Sentence Structure 595
49. Miscellaneous Confusables 605
50. Mechanics 612
Preface
This book is intended as a self-study and reference text for students studying at university,
but it can be used to teach writing at the higher levels of secondary school and can serve as a
focused text for English language courses at community colleges and first year university level.
The first two sections provide background information on language and specific varieties in the
Caribbean with which students who live in such a linguistically rich and complex region as the
Caribbean should be familiar. The book emphasises analysis and process at every stage. We have
presented an extensive section on the various modes of discourse as well as on the process of
writing. In this edition we have included a complete section on argument. Throughout, we focus
on strategies that build critical reading and writing abilities.
The readings in the text have been drawn from discourse across the disciplines and we hope
they will appeal to you regardless of your area of specialisation. The questions that are presented
after each extract are intended to initiate discussion and you will find them useful in group
work. Some of the tasks we have set require you to work in pairs or small groups as a means
of promoting the sharing of ideas and to provide more opportunities for you to articulate your
views orally, hopefully, using the standard register of academic discourse.
While you may have countless opportunities to use informal registers and non-standard codes
in your everyday interactions, the opportunities for using the standard register for academic
purposes are less frequent and often not insisted upon in classroom environments. Although it
is unlikely that you will adhere rigidly to the use of that register, doing so in formal presentations
is one way in which you can build awareness of the standard as one of the codes that we use to
communicate in the Caribbean.
This book also emphasises peer and self-editing as a means of building awareness of text and
promoting reflection on your writing and on that of your classmates. The reference units will
facilitate checks for grammar, spelling, mechanics, and for usage in different codes and registers.
In presenting the grammar points, we try to show the difference between standard and Caribbean
non-standard varieties, and we use examples from the writing of former students as a basis for
discussing the grammar points. The exercises provide opportunities for additional practice for
those of you who have specific difficulties.
We welcome feedback from you and from your teachers on this new edition. Write to us and let
us know whether the book works for you.
We are grateful to our students whose work provided us with a wealth of examples for this book.
We also thank the instructors who developed the Level I language courses over the years. We
have used some examples from the notes and extracts that have been developed for the course
which form a general corpus of teaching materials. It was not possible to determine the original
sources of some of the older examples; in such cases we have simply indicated the course notes
as a general reference.
Writing in EnglishWriting in English Writing in English Writing in English Writing in En
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Section 1
Introduction to Language and Literacy

Chapter 1: Some Functions of Language
• Reflective Function
• Expressive Function
• Communicative Function
• Ritual Function
• Identifying Function
Chapter 2: Notions of Language

• Five cameos on language which explore its essence by looking at its relationships:
– Language and the Brain
– Language and Society
– Language and Culture
– Language and Communication
– Language and Intelligence
Chapter 3: Literacy Needs in Today’s Society

• Functional Literacy
• University-level Language Competence
• Written and Literate English Versus Speech
Summary of the Section

This section fosters your appreciation of and introduces you to the study of language by
first discussing how it functions, examining more closely what it is and finally, addressing
the language needs of an educated person in today’s world. By first exploring English’s
functions and characteristics, we hope that you will come to understand the need for literacy
2 Writing in English
and communication skills. We also hope that this exploration will give you the rationale for
achievement of proficiency in English, an ability that seems to escape many in academic life.
In addition, the section provides you with a basic understanding of language, a feature that
distinguishes man from all other animals and as such is the essence of humanity.
Aims of the Section

On completion of this section, you should be able to
1. identify and explain the different functions of language;
2. explain what language is and its essential role in various areas of human society;
3. discuss what literacy is and the need for it as well as for communication skills, especially
by university students and graduates.
English Writing in English
1
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Writing in English WritingSome
in EnglishFunctions of Language
Writing in EnglishWriting in English WritingWriting in English Writ-
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Some Functions of Language

If living organisms are not provided with features which allow them to survive, they will become
extinct. Language is one feature in man that has allowed man not only to survive but to develop
and dominate other animals and, to some small extent, nature itself. Language has facilitated
the strengthening of human societies by providing a medium for the instant and immediate
transmission of information (for self-preservation) as well as a medium for reflection and
projection (for growth and development). By allowing
human beings to communicate about the present, to reflect
about the past, and to plan for the future, language has
ensured our survival and has allowed us to prosper far out The word “language” is a
of proportion to our purely physical attributes. basic word in the English
language. Its basic meaning is
One may reasonably distinguish between what language is the communication system of
and does on the one hand and what we use language to do human beings. Even though it
on the other. The difference between these two is a matter is extended by analogy to other
of consciousness and control. While language is part of animals and systems, here we
the functioning of the human brain and as such is always are using it in its basic sense.
being processed as long as a human being is conscious, it
can be brought under deliberate control in concentrated
thinking. It can also be converted into speech for communicative and social functions. One
can say that, in a progressive sequence from inside to outside and back, the first function of
language is reflective (thinking), the second is for giving vent to feelings (expressive), the third
is for conveying and receiving information (communicative), and the fourth is for bonding
others closer to the individual or for creating distance (social). These functions can be virtually
simultaneous and complementary or they can be separate.
The Reflective Function

The starting-point of Cartesian philosophy (from the name of the French philosopher
Descartes) is usually given in the Latin words cogito ergo sum, “I think, therefore I am.” This
can be interpreted to mean that you know that you exist because you can think, but, more
significantly for our purposes, it establishes thinking as the most important element, the root of
human consciousness. Human beings can deliberately focus their attention on and analyse the
past in order to deal with the immediate future (i.e. the present) or the more distant future. This
deliberate form of thought is substantially verbal in nature, that is, like a stream of silent words
passing through the brain. This power of reflection distinguishes us from other animals and
allows us to use experience to avoid past errors and to be more effective and efficient. Language
is therefore used by us to ruminate on past events, on words spoken or written, and to think out
strategies for coping with and controlling the physical world as well as the spiritual.
Reflection also involves the use of language to savour the past. Some memories are preserved
and provoked through specific words. Some visual memories are accompanied by words, or some
may be actual words spoken or written which rekindle some emotion. In any case, the human
being can consciously use language to recall and recapture experiences merely for enjoyment or
indulgence. If you are alone and you close your eyes, you can construct in your head a world
made up of various sights and sounds. You can imagine adventures, activities and conversations.
In all such imaginings, fantasies and reasonings, language plays a fundamental role not only
because the visual is normally accompanied by the oral, but also because the concepts involved
are mediated through your own native language. Also associated with the reflective function of
language is the notion of “a voice inside your head” telling you to do or not to do something.
This voice, which is usually construed to be God, the Devil, your conscience or some other
supernatural force, is conceived of as a separate being but in reality is part of the reflective
process.
Application – The Reflective Function

Read the following passage:
Oh what a time it is when summer come to the city and all them girls throw
away heavy winter coat and wearing light summer frocks so you could see the
legs and shapes that was hiding away from the cold blasts and you could coast
a lime in the park and negotiate ten shillings or a pound with the sports as
the case may be or else they have a particular bench near Hyde Park Corner
that they call the Play Around Section where you could go and sit with one of
them what a time summer is because you bound to meet the boys coasting lime
in the park and you could go walking through the gardens and see all them
pretty pieces of skin taking suntan and how the old geezers like the sun they
would sit on the benches and smile everywhere you turn the English people
smiling isn’t it a lovely day as if the sun burn away all the tightness and
strain that was in their faces for the winter and on a nice day every manjack
and his brother going to the park with his girl and laying down on the green
grass and making love in the winter you would never think that the grass
would ever come green again but if you don’t keep your eyes open it look
like one day the trees naked and the next day they have clothes on sometimes
walking up to Bayswater Road from Queensway you could look on a winter day
and see how grim the trees looking and a sort of fog in the distance....
(Source - Samuel Selvon, The Lonely Londoners, New York: St Martins Press, 1959.)
Some Functions of Language 5
- the writer is reflecting on the arrival of summer;

- the writer is recording his thoughts as they occur;
- the words continue for several lines more without punctuation. This is done to represent
the stream of thoughts flowing through the writer’s head;
- when you read the words, because there is no punctuation, you go on and on until you
become almost out of breath and you have to stop;
- the writer is showing, however, that in reality reflection continues in a ceaseless stream.
What would you say are the differences, if any, between what actually happens (in reflecting) and
what the writer presents here? In other words, if it were possible to make a record of thoughts as
they pass through your brain, would it come out in the way that Selvon presents it in the passage?
•
The Expressive Function
In moments of pain, sorrow, happiness and joy, human beings often utter words which express
their feelings; it is as if speech is a release valve for emotions. In fact, one theory regards cries of
pain and joy as the starting-point of language. Whether or not this is so, it is clear that language
is inseparable from the expression of emotions and feelings. Cries of pain may be crude and
immediate, but poetry and songs require thought and sophistication. In other words, emotional
language can be very refined and its points of stimulation may not be immediately obvious to
the uninitiated. The term “expressive” puts the focus on the speaker/writer and not on his/
her intention to communicate. In other words, the individual is using language in such cases
primarily as a form of self-expression.
Expressive language is initially and fundamentally a release of emotion, but because it is language,
the feelings of the one who produced it can be interpreted and appreciated. While cries of pain
may require a correct interpretation and response by a hearer, more sophisticated forms of
expressive language do not. The context and state of mind which inspire verses of poetry are
often quite different from those of the people who hear or read them, and therefore the feelings
of the author and the reactions of the audience may be far apart. Yet, the reactions of the
audience are no less valid and real than the inspiration of the author. Expressive language does
not belong to its author and the author cannot dictate, or should not even seek to dictate, the
response a hearer or reader should have. Expressive language may have different levels and types
of reaction, not only from various individuals but also from the very author.
To express annoyance a speaker may vary between mild interjections and strong “dirty words.”
To express surprise a speaker may vary between short exclamations and elaborate expressions.
To express joy or pain a person may vary between physical actions, cries and words. What this
means is that emotional reactions can involve almost involuntary and quickly expressed reactions
or ones that are more studied and deliberate.
Annoyance
Mild Interjection Strong Word
Rahtid! Look the

Drats! I dropped
dog wan’ fi bite mi.
my ice cream.
Application – The Expressive Function

The following is a song from the very early years of the 19th century.
Talla ly li oh Talla ly li oh
Freedom a come oh! We nuh wuk no more!
Here we dig, here we hoe. Here we dig, here we hoe.
Talla ly li oh! Talla ly li oh
Slavery a gone oh! Massa he a go.
Here we dig, here we hoe. Here we dig, here we hoe.
King George we a go. Freedom a come oh!
Here we dig, here we hoe. Here we dig, here we sow!
(Source - Paula Burnett (ed). The Penguin Book of Caribbean Verse in English, Middlesex: Penguin
Books, 1986.)
The emotion in this song is captured in the repetition of the phrase Talla ly li oh (which may or
may not be a variation on the English Tallyho). In addition, every line ends with the sound o,
that is, the same as the English exclamation Oh!. After making a number of statements, each of
which involves a different feeling, the song ends with the word sow, a switch from the word hoe,
a word containing a sentiment which signals the happiness that choice or freedom brings. This
is a simple song but one which obviously was very emotionally charged for those who sang it.
(a) What is meant by King George we a go?
(b) What is the meaning and significance of the last line of the song?
(c) Several citations in historical documents which are said to have been songs and verses
composed by slaves were actually composed by the authors themselves. Do you think
that this was really a song composed by slaves? Justify your answer.
•
The Communicative Function
The main function of language is for communicating information, ideas and thoughts. While
words (e.g. dog) and sentences (e.g. The dog is barking.) can have meaning on their own and
without context, it is when they are used in context that they acquire a specific meaning and
affect people and their behaviour. In fact, in context, words can have a meaning exactly opposite
to their non-contextual meaning, depending on inflections of the voice, attitude of the speaker,
and other such elements. People manipulate language to get across the message that they want,
and because of social graces, language used often does not exactly match real feelings and
intentions. The disparity between what is said and what is meant in most cases does not pose
a problem for comprehension because dissimulation is part of the socialisation process which
affects everybody. It is when the effect of context is less, as in written language, that the words
and sentences used more closely match the meaning intended. On the other hand, written
material is more difficult to understand because it is removed from its original or immediate
context.
Communicative language can be subdivided to correspond to both function and form, into
statements, commands and questions. Information is conveyed in statements; commands require
some kind of action from persons spoken to, and questions require some kind of (spoken)
response. However, some questions as well as some statements are actually commands, and
generally it is quite normal for the language form to be performing a function other than what its
grammatical name (i.e. question, statement, command) suggests. In other words, in a grammar
book a question is identified by its form – it has a question mark after it; in actual communication
a question is identified, according to what the speaker really intends, by intonation, tone of
voice, body language or other contextual cues.
In addition to statements, commands and questions, language is used for oaths and curses. These
can be said to be communicative in function because they are addressed to a hearer. Oaths and
curses may be said in the form of statements, commands and questions, but they are different in
that they convey attitudes and not information, and they do not in themselves require responses.
Application – The Communicative Function

Try to make sense of the following passage:
Whereas the Insured described in the Schedule has by the proposal the date of
which is specified in the Schedule which proposal and declaration the Insured
has agreed shall be the basis of this Contract and be held as incorporated
herein applied to The —— Assurance Company Limited (hereinafter called
“the Company”) for insurance against the contingencies hereinafter specified
Now this Policy witnesseth that in consideration of the Insured paying to
the Company for this Insurance the First Premium specified in the schedule
the Company hereby agrees (subject to the conditions contained herein or
endorsed or otherwise expressed hereon which conditions shall so far as the
nature of them respectively will permit be deemed to be conditions precedent
to the right of the Insured to recover hereunder) that in the event of any
of the said contingencies happening...
(Source - Preamble to a current Insurance policy)
The preceding falls within the ambit of communicative language because it is part of a contract
that is signed by at least two parties – the company and the individual. This is an instance of
written communication which to the layman individual is not communication at all. Yet, it is one
of the most common forms of contract which, it is presumed, those who sign will understand.
Like the excerpt from The Lonely Londoners given earlier, it has no punctuation. In this case,
however, the absence of punctuation is a stylistic device which contributes to the difficulty of
the language.
Like the Lord’s Prayer given on page 10, it contains older forms and structures of the English
language. In this case, however, these do not reduce the intelligibility of the text for those who
handle and produce such documents.
Lawyers claim that such texts are clear in their meaning because they have been tested. In other
words, since insurance claims have been the subject of litigation for centuries, the meaning
of the language in the policies has been established by the litigation itself and, presumably, is
familiar to all legal people concerned.
What a legal text of this kind shows is that firstly there are different levels of communication,
some that are basic and others that are for the initiated only. Secondly, there is a difference
between oral, everyday communication and formal written communication. Thirdly, repetition
of words and phrases can lead to loss of literal meaning or it can do the opposite by establishing
meaning unequivocally.
(a) Try to rewrite the passage in normal, everyday English.

(b) What are the major difficulties you encountered trying to rewrite the passage?
•
The Ritual Function
Ritual is closely tied to religion and is normal in religious practice. However, the word “ritual”
is the adjectival form of “rite,” which refers to a marking in some way of the stages in life of
human beings, stages which are recognised as significant in all human societies. Some cultures
also mark changes in social status from one level to another. The main activities with which
rituals are linked are birth, marriage and death. In addition, some cultures also mark changes
from puberty to manhood and others mark initiations, for example, graduations, entrance into
a group, the start of an office such as that of a prime minister or bishop. These are all social
activities and are usually treated as solemn occasions, requiring the intervention or propitiation
or recognition of a supernatural being. Within European and other religions, ritual is also an
integral part of daily practice in that the initiated continually remember and commune with the
deity in their mass.
Rituals are normally a part of ceremonies which involve the repetition of a prescribed, usually
written, form of language in what is called a liturgy in the Christian Church and given other
specific names in the Muslim and Hindu faiths. In the case of activities which are not a part of
religious ceremonies proper, rituals also involve repetition of familiar or set formulaic statements
or questions and their corresponding responses. It is the repetitive nature of ritual that will have
caused the words in the ceremonies to take on a significance of themselves and to lose – to
some extent – their everyday meanings. In fact, it is quite normal for those constantly involved
in a ceremony to recite or repeat the words without paying any attention to their initial or basic
meaning. A child, for example, may say the Lord’s Prayer or the national anthem at school every
morning without understanding fully the words in either.
The function of language in ritual then is not necessarily to communicate or reflect but to
include the individual as a part of a social (i.e. group) activity. The individual, through language,
participates in a ceremony prescribed by the society and thereby becomes or is recognised as
a part of that society. Group repetition of rituals, especially when accompanied by repetitive,
sonorous music, can become a very powerful hypnotic force in conversion of individuals to
group beliefs. The fact that the marking of stages in the life of human beings is a part of all
societies in many cases confers on the language of the rituals involved a kind of sacred or
mystical significance which can lead to superstitions and taboos about its inappropriate use.
Application – The Ritual Function

Consider the Lord’s Prayer:
Our Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy
will be done, in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation; But deliver us from evil: For thine is the
kingdom, the power and the glory, For ever and ever. Amen.
This is a Christian prayer that is said as a part of several different religious ceremonies. It is the
first prayer that Christian children are taught, even before they have any chance of being able to
understand what the words mean and before they are able to read. Consequently, in many cases
the words that are actually memorised by the child do not correspond to those given above.
The prayer is subsequently repeated countless times without modification and without any close
attention to its meaning.
(a) Seeing that, at best, this prayer is only partially understood by most people, what would
you say is the main purpose of the prayer?
(b) In an attempt to make the prayer more intelligible, the church has modernised the
words several times. Find a modernised version and compare it with the traditional one
given here. Do you think such modernisations make the individual think more about its
meaning when it is said?
(c) Say what the following words in the prayer mean:

art, Hallowed, be, in earth, bread, trespasses, thine, Amen.
What does Thy kingdom come mean?

•
The Identifying Function
A person may use a specific language or dialect of a language to express solidarity with someone
or to establish distance. Teenagers often coin words to establish a bond among themselves as
well as to distance themselves from an older generation. On the other hand, older people in St.
Lucia and Dominica who speak both English and French Creole resort to the latter when they
do not want young people and outsiders to understand any private business they may have to
discuss. In-group language, therefore, simultaneously includes and excludes people.
People also use specific dialects of a language to say something about themselves. In some
societies, for example, men believe it is more manly to speak less standard dialects while women
believe it is more ladylike to do the opposite. A politician may use the vernacular in campaigning
in order to assert solidarity and equality with the majority of the electorate, or an individual may
try to use the most standard form of the language in order to show that he/she is educated and
sophisticated.
It is not only what the speaker deliberately tries to do with language that establishes identity, but
also what the hearer concludes from the speaker’s words. Accent is the most obvious and widely
recognised feature of an individual’s speech, even though every individual believes that he/she
does not have an accent. Research shows that people attribute positive and negative qualities to
individuals according to the ethnic peculiarities of their speech. As a result, some individuals try
to eliminate such peculiarities in contexts which they deem to be hostile. An accent establishes
an individual as a native of a specific country and a specific region of a country. While all
individuals have native accents, some individuals cultivate special accents to suit their status or
occupation.
While native accents are acquired unconsciously, group peculiarities are often deliberately
cultivated in both oral and written language. For example, every academic discipline has its own
way of writing and talking about its subject-matter. Lawyers, doctors, engineers, mathematicians,
social scientists, all have their own words and phrases which usually are not easily understood
by outsiders. It would seem as if there is a strong human tendency to include some people and
exclude others through the use of specialised language.
Application – The Identifying Function

Reread all the passages given above. In each case you will notice that you can say something
about the identity of the person who wrote the passage or who is the “narrator” in the passage,
and that through its language it consciously or unconsciously sets up an opposition between
different people. In each case therefore it can be said that there is an in-group type of language
– West Indian, lawyer, Christian, slave. It is by the words chosen and the kind of grammar used
that identification is established in each case.
Give an illustration of the in-group language of each of the types mentioned in the explanatory
remarks above.
Read the section Tips for Answering Questions and Checking Your Own Work on page 14 in conjunction
with the questions in the assignment.
•
ASSIGNMENT
1. Explain the following functions of language and say how they relate to the ones given in
this chapter:
(a) informative (b) directive (c) imprecatory.
2. Explain what you think is meant by the term phatic communion.
3. The following sentences illustrate the fact that language can be put to a variety of
uses. Explain what the function(s) of each of them would be in an ordinary, everyday
context.
(a) I pronounce you man and wife; (b) You are dismissed; (c) Your marriage is hereby
annulled; (d) Am I on the right bus, I wonder? (e) You shall be taken to one of her
Majesty’s prisons and detained there for the next twenty years; (f) Haven’t I seen you
before? (g) I challenge you to supply some proof; (h) How very awful! (i) Take care; (j)
Hello! (k) Come off it! (l) Push the door; (m) A Rolls Royce! (n) Beautiful day, isn’t it? (o)
I do apologise; (p) Tiger! Tiger! burning bright in the forests of the night; (q) Let’s see, four and
four are eight, three and six are nine, and one and four are five, so it’s five dollars ninety-
eight cents, sir; (r) Your salad looks most appetising; (s) Can’t you feel the draught? (t)
You’re the cream in my coffee.
4. Identify three significant functions which language fulfils. Illustrate each function
identified out of your own experience, making sure to outline the social situation in
which each of your illustrations occurred.
5. Discuss the ways in which it would be true to say that language performs the most
important function in the shaping of human society. (This can be done as a small group
task.)
6. Comment on the functional use of the following:

A: Hello!
B: Hello!
A: Nice day isn’t it?
B: Altogether, it’s been a fine summer.
A: Indeed, it has. We had a nice spring too.
B: Yes, it was a lovely spring.
7. Read the following passage and then explain in simple language each point that it
makes, making sure to give an example or illustration of each one where relevant and
possible:
Speech is the great medium through which human cooperation is brought
about. It is the means by which the diverse activities of man are
coordinated and correlated with each other for the attainment of
common and reciprocal ends. Men do not speak simply to relieve their
feelings or to air their views, but to awaken a response in their
fellows and to influence their attitudes and acts. It is further the
means by which men are brought into a new and momentous relationship
with the external world, the very relationship which makes the world
for them an objective order.
(Source - G. M. DeLaguna, Speech, Its Function and Development, Bloomington:
Indiana University Press, 1963.)
8. Explain the function(s) of the following passages. Where appropriate, comment on any
functional varieties used.
(a) Come then: let us to the task, to the battle, to the toil – each to
our part, each to our station. Fill the armies, rule the air, pour out
the munitions, strangle the U-boats, sweep the mines, plow the land,
build the ships, guard the streets, succor the wounded, uplift the
downcast, and honour the brave.
(Source - Winston Churchill)
(b) Give your child better grades by Christmas. Start his school year off
right with a Jones Galaxy portable typewriter. For typing improves
grades ... and report cards prove it. When students start typing
assignments, school work (and grades) start to improve almost
immediately. Educators acknowledge it. Classroom tests have proved
it. But for truly first-class work, a student needs a portable that is
easy to type on, easy to learn on ... a Jones Galaxy.
(Source - An advertisement cited in S. I. Hyakawa, Language in Thought and Action)
(c) To the virgins to make much of time

Gather ye rose-buds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.
The glorious lamp of heaven, the Sun,
The higher he’s a-getting
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he’s to setting.
That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer;

But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times, still succeed the former.
Then be not coy, but use your time;
And while ye may, go marry:
For having lost but once your prime,
You may forever tarry.
(Source - Robert Herrick, England.)
Tips for Answering Questions and Checking Your Own Work

Before you put pen to paper in attempting to answer any of the questions, make sure that you
read the question at least twice. Before you complete your answer, read the question again to
make sure in your own mind that you have answered the question. (Probably the most common
reason for failure is not answering the question you are asked.)
Question 1: In order to answer a question satisfactorily, you have to pinpoint certain words.
In question (1) underline the following words - explain, functions, relate. Deal with (a), (b) and (c)
systematically as you apply the three words underlined to them.
Question 2: In the case of question (2) even if you have some vague idea of the meaning of the
term, you still have to seek more specific information elsewhere. It is not given to you in the text
which means that you have to consult a dictionary and also preferably a book on communication
in which the term is explained. The intention of this question is to make you do some research.
Question 3: This question requires that you first construct in your mind an actual context in
which the words given would occur and then say what the intention or purpose of the speaker/
writer is by relating it to one or more of the functions of language identified.
Question 4: The purpose of question 4 is to get you to relate functions of language to your
own personal experience. A question which asks for your own personal opinion or experience is
based on the theory that learning is more deep-seated and meaningful when it is part of personal
experience. You should not try to supply answers which evade your own emotions and thoughts
by regurgitating what you have read in a text. All material has to be processed through your own
ideas, emotions and beliefs for it to be “learned.”
Question 5: gives you a conclusion, “language performs the most important function…,”
which you are being asked to illustrate. This question does not call for a rebuttal or contrary
opinion. In answering this question, you have to assess importance. The major requirements
of this question are good presentation and argument. You have to convince the reader of the
importance of the “ways” that you identify.
Question 7: This question has two basic functions – it is a

comprehension and paraphrasing exercise and it is also a teaching-
If you are unsure of learning strategy in that if you do the exercise conscientiously
grammar, spelling or you will understand and retain the contents of the passage.
mechanical details,
refer to Section Ten. Questions 6 and 8: Like question 3, questions 6 and 8 contain
excerpts on which you have to comment. It is not only that in
each case the specific question is somewhat different, but also
that it is less discrete and more overlapping.
Proofread and Edit Your Work

1. Reread what you have written to check for coherence and intelligibility.
2. Reread each word (to check for spelling) and sentence (to check for the details of
mechanics).
3. Check in particular to ensure that:
• your sentences are complete and make sense;
• you have answered all parts of the question.

English Writing in EnglishWriting in EnglishWriting in English Writing in English Writing in English Writ-
2
Writing in English Writ- ing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in English Writing in English Writing in
ing in EnglishWriting in English Writing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in English Writing in English
English Writing in EnglishWriting in English Writing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in English Writ-
Writing in English Writ- ing in Notions of inLanguage
English Writing English Writing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in
ing in English Writing in English Writing in English Writing in English Writing in English Writing in Eng-
EnglishWriting in EnglishlishWriting in English Writing in English Writing in English Writing in English
English Writing in English Writing in English Writing in English Writing in Eng
In this chapter we are going to explore what language is by looking at it in five different ways, that
is, under five different headings, each of which is a significant area of study in itself:
Language and the brain

Language and society
Language and culture
Language and communication
Language, literacy and intelligence
While these five topics are identified as important, we should not regard them as having super-
ordinate significance and the division is not
meant to mask the fact that they are all inter-
related. The pairing of language with another
Language changes. The English of
normal element of the individual or society is
Chaucer is not the English of the
meant to underline the fact that language is a
King James version of the Bible.
fundamental element of the practical, everyday
The English of Queen Elizabeth I
world and is not just an academic subject to
is not that of Queen Elizabeth II.
be conscious of in school and to be forgotten
Since languages change slowly, it
thereafter.
may seem as if the forms of English
By the end of the chapter you should come to which were right and standard some
appreciate the complexity and importance to time ago will be so forever. This is
the individual and all human societies of this not so.
natural feature of all normal human beings. As
a result, you should become more sensitive to
the need to hone your language skills (oral and written) in order to improve your chances of
success in today’s world as well as to feel, at any moment, that you can stand up and say “I can
hold my own in any company and show myself to be an educated person.”
First of all, you need to make a distinction between language and a language. The latter is the way
in which the word is most often used, as, for example, when one asks:
“What language do you speak?”
The person here is asking about a specific language. If, on the other hand, the person says:
“Human beings have language, but birds do not,”

Notions of Language 17
in this case, the person may simply mean that human beings can speak whereas birds cannot.
In other words, the person is not referring to a specific language, but to the ability to talk, to
use words, to hear and understand words. So, language refers to a natural ability which all normal
human beings have, while a language means a specific version used by some people who normally
live in the same community. This chpter will be dealing primarily with language, its characteristics
and its importance to human society. By dealing first with language, the general human ability, we
intend to show that your specific language is very important as a tool in your society and in the
educational process generally.
Since language is an ability, it means that it is seated in the human brain. In order to better
understand the nature of this ability, which involves thinking, speaking and listening, read the
following carefully.
Language and the Brain

Language is an activity that is centred in the brain and is virtually inseparable from thought. Like
all other brain activity, it is in its essence not observable. However, this activity manifests itself
in sounds which are produced through the mouth (oral) and nose (nasal), under the instruction
of the brain, and also through the deciphering of sounds received through the ears (aural).
Injury to or defects in the brain can cause language impairment as, for example, in many stroke
victims who lose their power of speech temporarily or for a longer period of time. Deafness and
dumbness also affect language depending on the severity and time of the impairment as well as
the extent to which the impairment obstructs feedback to the brain.
Language is partially dependent on memory, which is also centred in the brain. Although
language is produced with a very high degree of automaticity, simple everyday memory lapses,
such as forgetting a name or word, are reminders that memory is an integral part of language.
Furthermore, languages die through lack of use because the memory of details fades. For
example, if individuals are forced to abandon their native language in favour of another at an
early age, by the time they reach old age, they may no longer be able to produce their once native
language easily because words will have been forgotten and no new words would have been
learnt to keep up with changes in the society.
The brain of every normal infant is “wired” for language, so that language develops in all human
beings no matter what their social circumstances may be. It is only in extreme cases where a
child is completely cut off from other humans and their speech that language will not develop.
An infant will acquire as a native language whatever language it is exposed to in the first few
years of life, and it takes roughly the same length of time for all children to acquire their basic
native language, no matter how easy or difficult that language may seem to adults or people who
are not native speakers of it. This process cannot be hastened by teaching. While it is possible
to acquire more than one language during the critical first years, in most cases one of them is
usually dominant.
Language, in its essence, is made up of isolatable units which can be combined in innumerable
ways. This gives language the powerful element of creativity which human beings explore to the
fullest in assembling or separating the elements of reality and imagination. The brain translates
both the “photograph” of external objects and the ideas of internal thought into arbitrary
sounds. This allows the brain itself to better ponder on those objects and thoughts as well as to
relay information about them to others.
Some researchers have concluded that there are differences between the brains of men and
women, that women have better verbal skills, and that this superiority is the result of the way in
which a woman’s brain works. However, the brain does not reveal its secrets very easily and such
conclusions are not much more than tenuous. Differences in verbal skills between individuals
cannot easily be correlated with differences in the brain, and in most cases may be the result of
factors such as personality, socialisation and formal education.
The most recent research on the brain challenges the conventional view that the brain is a hard
wired system with specialised areas for various functions, such as verbal and spatial abilities.
Through this research it has been discovered that the brain is more plastic than at first thought.
This new concept is called neuroplasticity. Persons whose brains have been damaged by stroke
or trauma with resulting loss of functions can, over a period of time, regain the lost functions
if the brain is given appropriate training related to the lost skill. Apparently, another part of the
brain can assume the functions previously performed by the damaged area if given the relevant
input. This research finding has the ability to change drastically how we have looked at the brain
up to now and the role it plays in many abilities, including language.
Application – Language and the Brain

The passage points out certain specific facts about language:
(a) that it is controlled and affected by the functioning of the brain;
(b) that it is partially dependent on memory;
(c) that because it is basically innate, the stages of acquisition of language in all children are
the same;
(d) that because the brain composes language by combining many small elements, the brain
itself is able to benefit from language;
(e) that it is difficult to attribute differences in language skills between people to differences
in the brain.
(f) and more recently, that the brain is capable of relearning a previously lost language
function even after the critical period for language learning has passed.
It should be evident, then, that the fundamental relationship between language and the brain is
a characteristic of the human species. It is not surprising, therefore, that man’s brain is relatively
bigger in actual size than that of all other animals. It is also significant that one of the main areas
of interest in the study of the evolution of the human species is the identification of changes
in the size of the brain.
1. In the diagnosis of patients, a medical doctor has a major advantage over a veterinarian.
What is this advantage? In what ways is it used by the medical doctor?
2. What options do you think are available to doctors in situations where they do not speak
the same language as the patients?
Over the centuries terms have developed in English as well as in all other languages which show
that human beings have always been curious about and discussed their natural linguistic ability.
Specific names (e.g. Japanese, English, Yoruba, Chinese) are given to systems of communication
(i.e. languages) used in every country and people in all societies make distinctions between the
way they speak and the way others do. More specialised terms (e.g. dialect, register, syntax, and
vocabulary) are used to allow us to talk in a more detailed way about the similarities and differences
in the manifestations of language. The very close relationship between language and God which
is given (John 1:1) as part of Christian theology shows the preeminent position that language can
occupy in philosophical considerations.
3. Why are names of languages very often the same as the names of the people who speak
them? How does this fact affect the English language, which today is spoken across the
world?
Human beings, like many other animals, like to live together in groups, thereby gaining strength
•
and protection from the group as a whole. Animals that live in groups all have a method of
effecting cooperation with each other which involves the use of signals. A bee, for example,
after returning to the hive, may do a “dance” which tells the others that there is a source of
food in a specific direction and at a certain distance from the hive. Other animals use what
may be considered by man to be crude sounds to relay information about imminent danger.
Animals, other than man, apparently cannot make improvements to their signalling systems;
they cannot vary them by creating new features or by modifying the features idiosyncratically.
Because of its flexibility, our system of communication is much more powerful than that of
other animals. In other words, because humans have a flexible system of spreading information
between individuals in the group and across groups, we have been able to benefit immensely
from this species-specific ability, language. However, because of its flexibility, it is subject to
variation from individual to individual and to change from generation to generation. As a result,
thousands of different languages and varieties of languages have evolved over the centuries in
different parts of the world.
Read the following passage carefully, paying close attention to the points made in each paragraph:
Language and Society

Human beings are not the only social animals; bees also work together in a community to
provide food and shelter for themselves and to propagate the species. However, the society of
humans is infinitely more complex than that of bees or any other animals. This higher degree
of complexity is made possible by the greater sophistication of the medium of communication
used by humans in comparison to that used by bees and other animals. The systems of
communication used by all animals other than humans are purely instinctive, that is, they are
in their entirety part of the biological makeup of the animal itself. Human beings’ system of
communication, language, is partly biological and partly learned. Because it is partly learned,
information and knowledge can be passed on cumulatively from generation to generation. No
other animal passes on information and knowledge to its young, even if that knowledge is
learned, as, for example, if animals are taught to do tricks.
The creativity of language results from the fact that it is made up of isolatable units and is
symbolised by arbitrary sounds. This creativity also causes it to vary socially across space and to
change through time. Evidence of variation and change in language is seen in the peculiarities of
its users, peculiarities which can be analysed according to size or separateness of unit. The units
of size in the composition of societies are the individual, the group, the region, and the nation
– each one having its own peculiarities which can be differentiated within and across societies.
In language terms, the peculiarities of these units are captured in the words idiolect (individual),
dialect (group and region), and language (nation). In cases where a language encompasses only part
of a nation or, in contrast, spans across nations, the concept of dialect contracts and expands
accordingly.
Language peculiarities according to separateness of units are seen principally in the distinctions
of age (generation), gender and race. In each case, constant interaction between individuals with
similar human characteristics causes the group to develop specific peculiarities of language,
which then come to identify the group. Language peculiarities according to separateness are
also exhibited in groupings that are not outside the control of human beings, as, for example, in
class. All societies are divided socially into classes and these divisions cause the classes to develop
peculiarities which again are used to identify each class. Social and economic pressures may also
cause individuals or groups to move away physically from the traditional “motherland” and
establish themselves elsewhere. Such migration causes the language of the parent group and the
migrant group to diverge gradually. Over centuries, they may result, especially if the groups see
themselves as politically different, in different languages. Within the same country, geographical
variation is regarded as dialectal.
While migration to virtually uninhabited lands has occurred, most cases of migration have
brought individuals and groups into contact with speakers of other languages. The effect of
language contact has varied, but in all cases some degree of mixing of languages has occurred,
whether it is simple borrowing of words or more extensive changes to the structure of one or
more of the languages involved in the contact.
Application – Language and Society

Here we find, first of all, that though language ability is innate, you learn a specific language
according to the country in which you are born and raised. In addition, your language varies
according to the part of the country that you are from, the social class that you belong to, as
well as the age-group that you are in. One of the conclusions that you should draw from the
last paragraph in the passage is that there is no such thing as a pure language, simply because all
languages have been affected by others with which they have come into contact, a fact which has
caused them to change over time.
1 Check any introductory book on language in order to get more detailed infor mation
on the signalling systems of animals.
2 Check also to see what experiments have been done to teach other animals “language”
and how successful they were.
3 What conclusions would you come to? Do you think that human beings are merely
arrogant in their conclusion that their method of communication is better and more
powerful than all others? If so, what argument would you use to support your position?
The changes that occur in a specific language are also caused by changes in the habits and
•
customs of people. While the plants, animals and elements of weather in a country do not change
substantially over a long period of time (which means that the words for them do not change),
agricultural practices, forms of entertainment and educational practices can alter drastically,
which means that many new words come into the language and many disappear from it.
Read the following and identify the main points:
Language and Culture

Anthropologists study the language of a people to discover their culture because language
reflects the habits, preoccupations, food, methods of government, forms of entertainment,
relationships, beliefs, social graces and many other facets of life of those who use it. A language
conserves a people’s culture in its words and other structures of meaning. The study of the
words of a language used five hundred years ago would show not only what its users knew but
also what they did not know. Such a study would show the kind of technology in use in that
society as well as the level of knowledge at that time. However, comparisons of culture through
language do not have to be historical in nature; a comparison of the language of a people
living in a temperate climate today with that of a people living in a tropical climate would show
differences in flora, fauna, weather, sports and games, housing and all other areas of life affected
by climate.
The characteristic culture of a people which is reflected in regional and social dialects is usually
very dear to the people themselves because such forms of language capture moments which are
part of childhood and growing up, experiences with family and friends, and feelings of pride
in being part of a specific community. At the same time, in many cases there is a contradictory
attitude toward the same dialects for the very reason that they are restricted and “special” and so
tend to convey the idea that their users are “country bumpkins” or unsophisticated. Revelation
of one’s dialectal heritage is very often conditioned by external forces or by degree of self-
confidence.
While it is not difficult to see the ways in which the culture of a people is embodied in their
language, the effect of a language on a child who is acquiring it is much more difficult to assess,
especially because language is culturally loaded. Many researchers in this area have believed
that one’s native language causes one to see the world and interpret reality according to the
distinctions in the language. One of the traditional examples given to illustrate this is the way
in which different languages break up the colour spectrum and consequently the colours which
native speakers of these languages see. Research in this area has led to a better appreciation
of the relationship between culture, language and what is called intelligence, and the fact that
intelligence is not measurable independent of language and culture.
The use and function of language itself among different cultures vary. For example, prolonged
silence between people in some contexts in some cultures is interpreted as negative behaviour,
even between strangers. In other cultures, characteristic silence in individuals is regarded as a
sign of wisdom. Cultures vary in the elaborateness and verbal structure of exchanges between
people greeting each other and leaving each other. The saying “Children should be seen and
not heard” reflects the role of language in some societies in the social separation of adults and
children. The rules of conversation also vary from culture to culture; some of these are
• the appropriate loudness of voice for each context;

• the cues for turn-taking;
• indicators of superiors and inferiors;
• cues of interest, ignorance and comprehension;
• the use and propriety of non-verbal communication.
Application – Language and Culture

In the Bible, Mark 7:15 and 7:20 say respectively:
• ... but the things which proceed out of the man are those things that
defile the man.
• That which proceedeth out of the man, that defileth the man.
1. Consider how these statements can relate to language, in view of the fact that people
form opinions of others according to the way in which they speak, the words they use
and the intelligibility of what they say. What significance do these considerations have
for you as an individual in your daily life? Do young women differ from young men in
their attitudes to language?
2. Two people are having a conversation below:

No, I can’t tell the
John, can’t you hear difference between the
that that’s Jason and two of them, Ann.
not James?
But their
voices are so
different.
The fact that Ann can tell the difference between Jason’s voice and that of his brother while
John cannot means that there are differences and similarities between the two, just as there are
similarities and differences between people of the same regional area in a country, people of
the same class, people of the same age-group and people of the same country. We automatically
try to make distinctions between people and to give each individual an identity. For example, as
soon as a person with whom we are not familiar speaks, we may say to ourselves, even without
realising it: “She is Jamaican; she is educated; she thinks a lot of herself.”
In this way we associate people’s voices and what they say with other features of identification.
Consider your voice as a badge of identity.
3. Discuss the pros and cons of spontaneity and refinement in language.
Face-to-face communication is necessary for the development not only of normal speech but
•
also intelligence. If an infant is not exposed to other human beings talking and talking directly
to him/her, that infant will not develop normal linguistic ability and a normal measure of
intelligence. However, while communication is a necessary prerequisite for learning, it is also
being proposed today as the primary force in conflict resolution. Lack of communication is seen
as being problematic and leading to breakdowns in the relationships between generations (so,
the generation gap), between husband and wife (so, divorce), and between teacher and pupil (so,
drop-outs). It has also been noted that many prisoners have communication problems which
led them to resort to violence to resolve conflicts. Whether or not there is conflict involved,
progress in communcation can be achieved only if there is a medium common to both (or more)
sides. Beyond face-to-face communication, there are also problems created by differences and
disparities in the media, as well as their nature and development.
Language and Communication

Language is initially a brain activity, but it manifests itself in oral and nasal sounds in what is
called speech. Communication is achieved in a basic sense when speech is deciphered and the
information relayed by it is understood by another person. Communication in most cases is
instantaneous and continuous, and for that reason the infinite complexity of it is not conscious
in the mind of the speaker or hearer. It is only if you try to learn a foreign language and you
listen to speakers of that language talking normally that you begin to understand how much is
involved in the production, deciphering and comprehension of speech sounds.
Although it is complex, speech is limited because the human voice at its loudest cannot be heard
beyond a relatively short distance and also because the sound disappears from hearing as soon
as it is produced. Over the years, man developed artificial means of representing language which
overcame the limitations of speech. These artificial means probably started with drawings and
symbols representing language, but they gradually evolved in most cases into alphabetic systems
in which symbols for individual sounds could be put together to represent words. Graphic
representation of language brought permanence to language and facilitated the storage and
retrieval of information and knowledge.
Graphic representation in itself evolved from the individualistic to the mechanical. In other
words, at first it was a matter of individual human beings writing down whatever, using a feather
and dipping it in ink. Language was thus given greater permanence. This was alright when
what was written was intended for one or a few people because it could be read and re-read
and circulated. However, in order to make graphic representation of language accessible to a
greater number of people, multiple copies of the same document had to be prepared and this
was eventually achieved by the printing press. While the printing press could produce multiple
copies, it automatically brought more rigidity to graphic representation – the letters became
fixed in their shape, the words became fixed in their spelling, the sentences became more fixed
in order and style, and punctuation marks became more fixed in what they indicated. The final
printed word in time therefore was the result of reflection as well as obedience of many rules.
Immediate extension of the range of language was achieved by both visual and audible means,
e.g. smoke signals and drums, but these were not sophisticated as information-carriers and were
symbolic in nature. The telegraph improved the speed, range and sophistication of symbolic
representation of language through sound. In more recent times, speech itself has been given
more permanence and range through electronic recording: in this direct (or non-symbolic)
representation, voices can now be preserved and listened to at will, transmitted over any distance,
and amplified.
With the advent of the computer, the speed, range and permanence of communication has
increased greatly. The computer combines different levels of symbolic representation of
language. A person can type language in its normal graphic form on a keyboard. The computer
then interprets it in an even more symbolic form, processes it as such, and reconverts it to
normal writing for the person to see.
More recent developments in this area have made it possible to send text over vast distances
in a matter of minutes. These new technologies include instant messaging and emailing via
the computer, and text messaging via the cell phone. Even more recent developments in
electronic communication allow for the processing and instant transmission not only of text
but also of visuals and speech via webcam technology. This has opened up new interactive
telecommunications such as webinars and video-conferencing. This area of communication is
expanding at a phenomenal rate.
Application – Language and Communication

This passage deals with communication media natural and artificial. It deals with the expansion
from limited, natural communication to artificial, mass communication. Artificial expansion of
language is achieved either through the extension of the voice, that is, by registering, amplifying
or recording it by scientific means, or through symbolisation of speech, that is, by translating its
sounds and meanings so that they can be recovered by one of the other senses (or by the sense
of hearing in a different way). Language is symbolically translated into a visible form principally.
Less general symbolic forms have also been developed for touch and sight (i.e. Braille for the
blind and sign language for the deaf) and, in non-technological societies, for hearing (drum
language) and sight (smoke signals).
1(a). What instruments and machines have been used in the artificial expansion of human
language?
1(b). What improvements or advances in communication media have already been invented
in the 21st century?
2. If it were achievable, what moral and ethical problems would an ESP kind of technology
(a technology that could “read people’s minds”) present?
3. Discuss the differences between the spoken language and the written language.
Does being able to read and write make you more intelligent? No, you may say, but what is
•
intelligence in any case? Today, intelligence is believed to be a large number of overlapping skills,
relating to such abilities as verbal reasoning and power of memory. Intelligence is no longer
thought of simply as innate brain power that is genetic, but as a complex ability that is partly
in-born and partly stimulated and developed through experience. So, if it is partly the result of
experience, can you say categorically that being able to read and write does not affect it? That is
the question you should start out with in your mind as you read the following passage.
Language, Literacy and Intelligence

What effect has literacy had on human beings as individuals and as societies? Plato thought that
writing was a crutch that truly great minds could do without because it aided memory and that
a truly great mind did not need such an artificial aid to realise its full power. Plato believed that
it was in the cut and thrust of debate that intellectual power reached its fullest. Plato, however,
might have been like many others, fearful of new technology and ready to defend the superiority
of the old ways. In addition, at that time writing was primarily used for recording information;
it was not generally disseminated across the population of any country and was not yet seen as
a process which, through reflection, embodied thought that was more sophisticated than that
precipitated by the immediacy of discourse.
As written language developed as a part of formal schooling, it acquired rules and promoted
modes of thought which became an integral part of literate societies. The main example of this
is the essay, which is the basic unit of most books of all types, most letters, and paradoxically
most speeches. The essay was a creation of literacy and schooling, which required rule-governed
and formal language together with a thought-out logical structure of subject matter. It was
the antithesis of natural and spontaneous conversation. Literacy and schooling, because of the
predilection for the logical, developed a liking for establishing relationships between the actual
and the hypothetical, the practical and the theoretical. Competence in analytical and hypothetical
reasoning therefore became a fundamental part of schooling, and educated language (written
and spoken) developed to reflect this kind of reasoning.
Research that has been done on the differences between illiterate individuals in illiterate societies
and literate individuals in literate societies shows that it is schooling rather than literacy itself
that has the most significant effect on modes of thinking. In other words, skill in logical and
hypothetical reasoning is a consequence of schooling and does not simply result from a person
being able to produce and understand written symbols. However, since the acquisition of
literacy is in many societies part of the schooling experience, to make a distinction between
the consequences of literacy and the consequences of schooling is not practically significant.
The effects of literacy and schooling on societies have been enormous. The structured and
continuous transmission of knowledge from the experienced to the inexperienced and the
cultivation of hypothetical and analogical reasoning have not only removed the necessity to
“reinvent the wheel,” but have facilitated creativity and planning for the future by minds that are
not bogged down by the past.
Of course, development cannot be simply equated with happiness. In fact, many religious
organisations have believed that literacy leads to a questioning of secular and divine phenomena
which in turn leads to unhappiness and disruption. There are therefore many historical examples
of books and written materials being burnt or otherwise destroyed or restricted in order to
protect societies. However, general literacy is today seen as desirable by most, if not all, societies,
and the best path to progress for the individual and the society as a whole. Historically, it has
been seen as a liberating force for the individual as for oppressed groups.
While the focus on intelligence as mainly a cognitive ability has held sway for a long time,
more recently, some researchers in the area have proposed that intelligence is a complex of
abilities. One proposition is that emotional intelligence is a necessary aspect of intelligence,
along with cognitive intelligence. Another recent concept of intelligence is that there are several
different types of intelligence, that is, multiple intelligences: linguistic intelligence, mathematical
intelligence, spatial intelligence, musical intelligence, kinesthetic intelligence, interpersonal
intelligence, and intrapersonal intelligence. Obviously, the traditional concept of intelligence is
being challenged; the new thinking is that it is not limited to verbal and mathematical abilities.
Application – Literacy and Intelligence

Many intelligence tests that were constructed unconsciously highlighted written verbal ability
and were culture-biased. It is still difficult to determine an individual’s supposed IQ without
using questions phrased in language that is socially and culturally equal. Forms of intelligence
tests are still used to determine retardation and other disabilities. The notions of “mental age”
and “readiness” are used in the placement of children in the school system because correct
placement is seen as beneficial to the child and for the system in which literacy is the basic point
of departure.
Research and prepare answers for the following questions.
1. Do you agree with Plato that the skills of speaking are superior to the skills of writing?
2. Why has the face-to-face, adversarial, oral method of decision-making remained so

prominent in the government of many countries across the world, and not necessarily
in their commercial businesses?
3. University education historically has been accused of being “ivory tower” and divorced
from the practical world. To what extent has the dependence on written materials (books,
etc.) been responsible for the development of this perception?
4. Is there compatibility between an apprenticeship system (oral education) and a text-

based system in general or mass education today?
5. What is intelligence, anyway? Discuss how you think intelligence should be defined.
Having read these five cameos on language, you should appreciate the fact first of all that the
•
linguistic ability of man is quite different in nature from communication in all other known
beings. The word “language” is loosely used in English in its extended meanings to refer to
non-human systems of communication as well as sub-systems of human communication. For
example, zoologists may talk about the “language” of bees, but this is a metaphorical extension
of the word “language.” Students studying computing have to become familiar with “computer
languages,” but these are essentially sub-systems of human language, no matter how mathematical
and far removed from human language they may appear.
The second fact that you should appreciate is that languages change as societies change.
Languages change in themselves and they change in the status that they are accorded by their
native speakers and others. The notion of a static, uniform language may be a good starting point
for teachers in primary schools where fundamentals are being taught, but it is certainly a naive
and inappropriate notion at university level where change and variety are seen to be fundamental
features in human existence. Words and structures in English which were regarded by Samuel
Johnson and his contemporaries two hundred and fifty years ago as gross and not fit for use in
formal writing would not be recognised today as having been contentious in any way. However,
while change is constant in human society, the need to conform is also constant – there is always
a tug-of-war between old values and new ones. The rate of change in the standard language in
what is regarded as “correct” and “appropriate” is slow and at any one point in time it is only a
few features which can be identified as having equally acceptable alternatives.
Changes in the status of languages are determined by economic and political factors. Additionally,
the status of a language is determined by the volume and nature of literature which is written
and printed in it. Classical Greek is prestigious because of its position in the history of written
literature in modern Europe. Classical Greek, viewed in modern terms, is not a technologically
or philosophically sophisticated language; its prestige has nothing to do with inherent superiority.
Arabic is old and distinguished but is not influential outside the Arab world because Arab
colonial expansion did not move beyond the Old World and did not really last up to modern
times. English is the dominant language of the world today not only because it was the language
of one of the colonial powers which expanded its influence into the New World and Asia, but
also because it has become the premier language of technology and trade. It therefore has an
extensive and varied literature as well as great economic and political power to back it up.
Increasingly today when ethnic rivalries are leading to stronger assertion of regional identities
and threatening national identities, every language is being seen as near and dear to its natives.
Accordingly, what previously may have been regarded as inherently superior in some “world”
languages is more clearly seen today as aspects of self-promotion or propaganda spread through
and during colonial expansion. So, while the usefulness of “world” languages is accepted as a
fact of life, the dignity and validity of regional languages are also being appreciated.
ASSIGNMENT
You will need to do library research to answer most of the questions in this assignment. Read
Tips for Answering Questions before you begin.
1. The notion of linguistic diversity was mentioned in this chapter. What specific factors
contribute to such diversity?
2. It has been said that “Language is a storehouse that preserves many aspects of a society’s
history and culture.” Do you think that this statement is true? Try to find evidence
to support the statement from the linguistic varieties that are used in any Caribbean
territory. Can you explain what characteristics of language account for this?
3. Define brain neuroplasticity and consider its possible implications.
4. What possible effects will the new communication technologies have on the written
language?
5. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of social networks such as Face Book, Twitter
and so on.
Tips for Answering Questions

• Read the questions carefully to determine what each requires you to do.
• Make sure you define any unfamiliar term that is an important aspect of the question,
especially if it is the topic.
• Make sure you are answering all aspects of the question asked.
• Make sure you support your points with specific facts or examples.
• As you read on the subject make notes on all the factors that are relevant to answering
the question.
• Be sure to acknowledge your sources. Use your own words. Provide interesting examples.
Reread Your Work and Check to Ensure That:

• ideas are clearly explained;
• there is internal logic (within sentences, between sentences, between paragraphs);
• the ideas are organised in the most effective way;
• there is no irrelevant material;
• there are no unnecessary words and phrases that are included just because they sound
“nice” but add nothing substantial to the text;
• extraneous material is deleted;
• grammar, spelling and mechanics are correct.
3
Writing inLiteracy
English WritingNeeds
in English in Today’s
Writing Society
in EnglishWriting in English WritingWriting in English Writ-
Functional Literacy
There was a time when literacy was viewed simply as the ability to write one’s own name and
a basic sentence as well as to do simple arithmetical problems. Today that has changed and a
more relevant and expanded concept is being used – functional literacy. Even more recently,
some people have argued that computer literacy should be regarded as a part of functional
literacy. What this means, viewed over a period of time, is that the kind of competence an
individual needed to succeed and prosper in society one hundred years ago, for example, was
much less complex and easier to achieve than what is needed today. In other words, individuals
today are confronted with modern newspapers, television, banks, air travel, listed information
on goods for sale in supermarkets and shops and many other language-deciphering situations
which were not in existence one hundred years ago. In addition, it is not just that one has to
be able to decipher the language in each of these
situations but, more importantly, one has to make
When a society has a language judgements about its truthfulness and the worth
which is not normally written, of its subject-matter.
it first has to standardise that Functional literacy goes beyond language
language or adopt another competence (defined in a simple sense); it
standard language before it can
includes a much wider competence in science
undertake a literacy campaign. A
and mathematics (broadly defined). As far as
language automatically acquires
language competence is concerned, however, the
prestige when it is standardised
perceived goals of functional literacy are that the
and used generally for literate
individual should be able to read and understand
purposes.
what is written in newspapers, be able to express
himself/herself in writing, be able to understand
and evaluate written material that appears in everyday business and social activities, be able
to assess political material and be able to vote without undue assistance in general elections.
Functional literacy also includes work-related competence, that is, the ability to function in
a work environment by being able to read and understand pay slips and information about
retirement and severance, health and safety requirements, stated and implied responsibilities and
details of a job description.
Illiteracy is regarded as the opposite of literacy and as a deficiency, even though in a fundamental
sense it is really a natural state for man. Illiteracy is seen as a deficiency leading to bad health
practices, inability to benefit from information about economic progress, and increased
expenditure by the state for unemployment, health, crime restitution and prisons. It is also seen
as a barrier which prevents the individual from realising his/her full potential. Illiterate societies
are seen as being more easily repressed by their leaders and kept in a state of subjection and
deprivation. On the other hand, societies in which there is a high percentage of people with
functional literacy are seen as progressive and affording more time for leisure and personal
choices. Literacy is seen as an advantage and an ability which gives the individual more choices
and makes the task of governing the society much easier.
Application: – Functional Literacy

Discuss the following in groups.
1. In order to function efficiently in the complex modern world, should functional literacy
include some level of computer literacy? Why?
2. Why is illiteracy costly to a society?
3. Make a list of the economic advantages of being able to read and write.
4. Identify (not by name) one or more illiterate persons that you know who have been
relatively successful in life and account for their success.
•
University-level Language Competence
What are the requirements of university-level language competence? This section focuses on the
following three points:
(a) Requirements for university study
(b) What the society expects of a university graduate
(c) The university student/graduate and the world of work.

In a general sense, these requirements and expectations are related to the concept of an educated
person, a concept which forms part of the ethos of societies. More specifically, in cases where
the tax-payers subsidise the education of university students, the tax-payers have a right to their
expectations and will indirectly exercise this right by influencing government’s policy towards
the university. It is therefore the responsibility of university students either to conform to the
justifiable expectations of society or to move the society forward in its thinking by enunciating
some better plan or method. In the area of language, this has always inevitably meant, and
paradoxically so, that any alternative to the current standard language must be proposed using the
current standard language. Anything else will be regarded as incompetence trying to champion
Literacy Needs in Today’s Society 33
incompetence. One may also take countenance from the fact that leaders of revolutions have
mostly been intelligent, educated people and that peaceful revolution causes less dislocation and
suffering than violent revolution.
The practice of writing involves thinking and planning. Thinking and planning are the basic
requirements of any revolution, whether it is in business, religion, sport or education itself. The
practice of writing is therefore the start of a revolution of the mind and it is also a first step
in moving thought and ideas outside of the individual’s mind thereby giving him/her greater
objective independence. A personal diary read years later causes an individual to reflect on
personal development, to see both intelligence and naiveté, and to treasure the kind of reflection
made possible by writing. An architect transfers plans for a building from his/her mind onto
paper to give them greater objective reality in order to develop them more accurately and fully.
Externalisation of thought through writing not only gives greater objectivity to that thought for
the individual but also greater permanence and range. Objectivity, permanence and range allow
others to assess that thought, to reflect on it, to reject it, to accept it, to admire it, to abhor it,
but, no matter what the reaction, to be affected by it. An accumulation of writing will cause a
ferment in the society’s ethos because individuals will be widely and constantly affected by the
deliberate and measured thoughts of others.
(a) A university student needs:

• to read and understand the books that are given on booklists as required or
recommended reading;
• to write in such a way as to convince examiners that he/she understands the subject
matter of the course;
• to be able to read and understand the rules and regulations of the university
governing courses, examinations, conduct and any other area of student life;
• to speak in class so that those listening can grasp the point of what is being said;
• to interact with students and staff outside the classroom.
(b) The society expects that a university graduate:
• will be able to write and speak correct English when required, especially on formal
occasions, and also when imparting to others the knowledge gained through
university study;
• will be able to vary his/her speech and writing according to the level of understanding
of the person being spoken to;
• will bring credit to himself/herself, the community and the university by competent
language performance, and not embarrass the community, the university, other
university graduates and the notion of a university graduate by incorrect and

ungrammatical language which is the result of incompetence.
(c) There is a common belief that “It is not what you know but who you know” that is
important. While this may be true in some cases, this belief may be a ready-made excuse
for lack of effort and failure. For those who use it as a philosophy of life, it may be
rewarding sometimes but even so, in a basic sense, it means that you have to reach and
convince those people you believe to be powerful. This means communication, which
means language.
Success and satisfaction at work are in most cases related to the ability to communicate, especially
in the medium- and higher-level jobs in a society. The traditional professions – medicine, law, and
teaching – need competence in both the written and spoken word. The world’s oldest profession,
at its highest levels in the world today, is portrayed as something akin to psychotherapy and
seems to require facility in oral communication skills as much as physical skills. Today those who
work in an office almost inevitably come into contact with and are required to use computers
in some way. The computer screen displays words and symbols which need some language
skills to interpret. Offices also use paper and the written word as an alternative medium of
communication. Politicians are generally believed to be good at equivocation in that they are
able to make statements and promises and then by language manipulation deny or modify
what seemed to have been the intended meaning at the time. In any case, their need for good
communicative skills, whether inside or outside of parliament, is almost self-evident. Media
workers, by definition, need skills in the oral language or the written or both.
The world of work therefore requires people who can talk, listen, read and write at a level that
is above the rudimentary and elementary. Not many occupations require equal competence
in all four skills, but higher-level occupations usually require competence in at least two of
them. While there are not many jobs that actually require a high level of competence in writing
extended prose (i.e. long essays), record-keeping, as for example in the writing of minutes for
meetings, is a common activity.
There are very few prestigious jobs that do not require skill in speaking and speech-making.
Paradoxically, good speeches are based on well-thought-out ideas which are usually written
down either in detail or in note form. The notion that a good speaker is born and that the words
just flow from the mouth of such a person is merely an illusion. In many contexts today, the text
of a speech is ready and even given limited circulation before it is delivered. Preparation of a
speech is necessary as much to say what you want to say as to avoid saying what you should not.
It is only practised speakers who after a time may not always require a prepared speech or notes.
Good language skills can earn you success and satisfaction and poor language skills can do the
opposite.
Application – University-Level Language Competence
• It is not what you know but who you know.

• It is better to be lucky than to be rich.
These two statements are used repeatedly to explain the success of people who do not appear to
have any unusual intellectual endowment. In other words, connections and luck are seen as two
paths to personal success. Education is seen as another.
1. State your personal choice from among the three paths (i.e. (i) connections, (ii) luck and
(iii) education) and justify it.
2. Say what order of priority is generally adopted in your society and try to account for it.
3. While the individual may rely on luck or favours, policy makers in a society cannot
present policies in which language development or success is seen to depend on such
ideas. How do governments try to ensure language development in a country?
4. Do employers who hire university graduates in fields other than English have a right to
expect that they have good communication skills in both writing and speaking?
•
Written and Literate English Versus Speech
When you become literate, you not only acquire the skills of reading and writing but also an
increasing command of the written variety of the language. In acquiring literacy, you immediately
realise that there is a difference between what you say and what you write because the person
that you are writing to is not in front of you to benefit from the context of communication.
To give a simple illustration, you cannot point to something as you write “Look there” because
the reader cannot see you pointing. You have to identify the place that you are pointing to in
writing, e.g. “Look under the table.” In other words, writing is generally more explicit and fuller
than speech in terms of the actual words used. In addition, the less familiar the writer is with the
reader the more explicit the writer has to be.
Because writing has been a part of the English language for centuries now, English has acquired
several written varieties which have to be mastered especially as one moves from functional
literacy into the academic world of writing. The first problem in mastering literate or academic
English is realising that there is no absolute difference between spoken English and written
English – the two overlap because written English is based on and constantly affected by spoken
English. What is often conceived of as written English in academic circles is extended prose
not containing direct speech, but this is obviously a very restricted notion of written English.
Written English also includes poems, the dialogue of plays, the text of speeches and lectures
and creative/artistic representations of speech (regional dialect) as would be found in novels.
Note, for example, that the words that a novelist puts into the mouth of a character are not
identical to a transcription of what a comparable person says in real life, and a dialogue between
two characters in a novel or play is not identical to the words of an actual conversation between
two people. What the novelist or dramatist produces is a variety of written English which
approximates spoken English in some respects but is not identical with it.
In spite of the lack of absolute distinction between writing and speech, there are certain
characteristics of the former that tend to be less prominent in the latter. Writing has the
sentence as the basic unit, whereas in speech it is the utterance. What this means is that formality
(e.g. punctuation), grammatical structure (e.g. subject + verb), and coherence are greater
preoccupations in writing than in speech, in which communication is usually the prime concern.
There is generally more deliberate construction in writing than in speech, which means that
sentences can become very long and complex. Such sentences would not be readily understood
if spoken but can be deciphered when written because the reader can reread and break down
the sentence to get the meaning. Speech is quite normally characterised by contractions, mazes,
hedges, stops and starts, and changes in midstream. Such features are not typical of writing
and in fact would lead to unintelligibility. Conversations between two or more people are often
characterised by interruptions, ellipsis, short utterances which in no way resemble sentences,
repetitions, and simultaneous speakers. Written dialogue can only try to approximate these, if
they are deemed necessary, but is constrained by formality and the need for intelligibility.
Extended writing usually reflects planning – sentences are combined into paragraphs and
paragraphs into essays or chapters, and chapters into books. This kind of construction is used
to present and build ideas in a systematic way into arguments and theses. It is this kind of
writing that characterises academic English, that is, the kind of English used in the humanities,
the social and natural sciences, medicine, law, education, technology and engineering. In the
many disciplines, points have to be explained, cases have to be made, theories have to be set
out, research has to be documented and conclusions drawn, and decisions have to be taken
after logical exposition. This variety of written English requires constant and long practice if
it is to be mastered. Beyond the correctness of grammar, decisions have to be made about the
appropriateness of specific words, the length of sentences, the cohesiveness of paragraphs, the
level of formality and the tone that the writing creates. Although English for academic purposes
varies according to the subject and level of specialisation, the kind of writing that is required of
students in most disciplines is clear, formal, unpretentious prose.
Academic prose in English is very dense when compared with speech in that it packs a lot
more semantic information into a smaller space. It does this by utilising the following features
in compound and complex sentences: passives, impersonals, nominalisations, participles,

attributive adjectives, a series of prepositional phrases.
The first two are sentence structures which allow the writer to present information in a non-
involved way, while the others are parts of sentences which are used to condense information
and present it as part of longer, more complex sentences. Academic prose is also characterised
by references, citations, appendices and bibliographies, the setting out of which is controlled by
conventions which have to be respected. Of course, within each discipline there are methods of
presentation (e.g. laboratory experiments, research projects) and the use of technical vocabulary
which are an integral part of the discipline.
Application – Written and Literate English Versus

Speech
1. Written English is used in the following: the media, official documents, speeches, the
academic disciplines. How does written English differ in these various areas?
2. Consult an English grammar book and say what is meant by a passive construction,
an impersonal construction, a nominalization, a participle, an attributive adjective and
a prepositional phrase. You may also check Section Ten for information on these
constructions.
3. Say briefly what is meant by each of the following: a reference, a citation, an appendix,
and a bibliography.
4. Where (in what kind of book) would you find the conventions governing the presentation
of or format for references, citations, appendices and bibliographies? Is there a single,
universal format for presentation? If there is not, why is this so?
•
ASSIGNMENT
1. The word “language,” which was initially used to refer to an ability which human
beings have, has been extended by analogy to other animals and other systems of
communication. What kinds of confusion does this extension cause in discussions on
language?
2. Animals, like human beings, have brains and vocal cords, and they communicate with
each other, yet they are said not to have language. Using relevant examples, identify and
discuss three reasons which can be advanced to support this position.
3. Discuss the role of language in making us specifically human and different from the
animals.
4. Discuss the view that human society would never have progressed to its present stage of
development if man had not had the benefit of his gift of language.
5. “Language is not merely a means of communication, but a social phenomenon which
has the ability to unify us as well as to separate us.” Discuss.
Tips For Answering Questions And Checking Your Own Work

Read each question carefully and (i) circle key words or phrases; (ii) determine the focus the
question requires; that is, if you are asked to discuss or explain particular points, do so; (iii)
provide evidence and supporting examples to illustrate points where relevant.
Review the points for checking your work in the previous chapter. Apply all the points here also.
Suggestions for Further Readings:

Andersen, Wallace, and Norman C. Stageberg, eds, Introductory Readings on Language, New York:
Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1970.
Fromkin, Victoria and Robert Rodman, Introduction to Language, New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1974.
Hayakawa, S. I., Language in Thought and Action, New York: Harcourt, Brace and Jovonavich, 1963.
Roberts, Peter. West Indians and Their Language, Cambridge University Press, 1988.
Section 2
Language Varieties
Chapter 4: Variation in Language
• Reasons for Choice of Variety
• Attitude, Levels of Formality, Tone
• Effectiveness in Writing
• The Varieties and the Relationships Among Them
Chapter 5: Varieties Used in Formal Writing

• Standard English
• Standard and Caribbean Standard
• Jargon
Chapter 6: Speech-related Varieties

• Colloquial English
• Slang
• Colloquial and Slang
Chapter 7: Varieties in the Caribbean

• Dialect
• Standard and Dialect
• Non-standard Dialect
• Patois
• Creole
• Some Features of English-based Creoles in the Caribbean
• Special Varieties in West Indian Speechmaking
Summary
This section introduces and explains the different language varieties that are used generally every
day in the Caribbean with the explicit intention of dispelling the notion that there is one single
correct form of the English language which should be used at all times. All communication
involves a relationship, conscious or unconscious, between the speaker and the listener. The
most efficient communication takes into account the social and intellectual features of the one
and the other. Furthermore, every academic discipline has its own terminology for purposes of
efficiency, and it is the responsibility of every student to master the terminology of each subject
as well as to recognise that used in other subjects and terminology commonly used in the society
generally.
While effective writing can be accomplished without an explicit knowledge of the terminology
used to discuss different varieties, such knowledge provides an additional benefit in that it allows
you to focus on specific elements of language in order to improve your competence. It allows you
also to assess the virtues and failures of speakers and writers. Whether it is a teacher, politician,
journalist or lowly citizen on a “callin” programme, you react in some way to the appropriateness
of what is said or written and to its effectiveness. You will better be able to fathom your own
reactions and discuss those of others if you are familiar with and understand the terminology
used to discuss language.
Aims of the Section

On completion of the section, we expect that you will be able to:
1. identify the different varieties of language and explain why and when they are used
2. explain the characteristics of each variety
3. explain the relationship between jargon and subject
4. describe how speech influences writing
5. identify the varieties typical of the anglophone Caribbean
6. explain the cultural, social and historical significance of Caribbean varieties.

4
Writing inVariation
English Writing in Language
in English Writing in EnglishWriting in English WritingWriting in English Writ-
Mr Arthur at the Market

How much for this yam? Wha? So Mr Arthur at a Graduation
much? You makin’ joke. Fuh true Never allow yourself to be distracted
doh, tell me how much? from the goals you have set to achieve
success. Always be diligent, always be
focused and you will succeed.
What differences do you notice between the speech of Mr. Arthur at the market and his speech
at the graduation? List at least three differences. Then read the following text.
When one person speaks to another in a close, intimate conversation, the words, structures and
expressions used are not the same as those that the person would use if delivering a speech at a
public graduation ceremony. As you noticed from the example above, there are differences in the
words chosen, the structures, the length of sentences, the articulation of words, the completion
of utterances and the use of non-verbal communication. All languages have alternative words,
structures and expressions which allow for variation to indicate closeness, distance, formality
and informality. Even within the same context there is no one single way in which any specific
meaning must be expressed – all speakers are able to express themselves according to their
own linguistic idiosyncracies. However, even though the language provides for variation and the
individual expresses himself/herself according to personality and ability, the society demands
compliance with certain standards and over the years smaller groups within the society have
developed terms and styles of presentation which are mandatory for those who want to
participate within these groups.
There are rules of use which individuals must learn for normal participation in society. This
point is easily appreciated by a comparison of the naive and often indiscreet statements of
children and the constant dissimulation of adults, a comparison which shows that experience
teaches the individual to comply with the requirements of social mores. There are likewise
rules of writing which you as a student must learn in order to comply with the standards and
practices of your discipline if you want to be effective. In most cases this learning is done almost
unconsciously, but the more you progress in an area of study, the more you have to become
conscious of language and the more you have to be able to manipulate language. Above all, to
be most effective, the variety chosen must be appropriate for the specific context.
Reasons for Choice of Variety

The variety of English one chooses in a specific context may depend on one or a number of
factors:
• the audience – one may pitch one’s speech at a high level or a low level depending on
the perceived level of understanding of the audience.
• the subject-matter – matters that are considered serious are usually discussed in more
standard forms of the language whereas jokes are often told in the non-standard variety.
• the medium itself – direct, face-to-face speech allows for gestures and other elements
of non-verbal communication which cannot be put on a written page as part of
communication. In writing, therefore, one has to be more explicit since the reader is not
necessarily there present and able to benefit from all the contextual clues.
• the writer’s attitude – the writer may think it important to be formal and impersonal
or the opposite, that is, friendly and warm.
For each of the above (audience, subject-matter, medium, attitude) the fundamental assumption
is that the variety one chooses has to be correct and appropriate. The following passage develops
the notion of correctness and appropriateness:
Correctness in language has two aspects to it: socio-linguistic correctness
and grammatical correctness. Socio-linguistic correctness relates to the use
of the appropriate variety according to the context of use. Each society has
conventions about which variety is appropriate according to factors such as
audience, subject matter, medium and attitude. The question of grammatical
correctness comes into play when a language has reached a certain degree
of sophistication and respect by its users. This is when users worry about
whether they applied the right rule, or whether they are spelling the word
correctly.
(Source - Author’s notes)
Attitude, Level of Formality, Tone

The relationship between the writer’s attitude and the variety chosen is an important topic in
the study of written language usage. In face-to-face speech the listener can “read” the attitude
of the speaker from the tone of voice used, from facial expressions and from body language
generally. This is not possible in writing. The writer has to use literate features to convey or
mask attitude and part of the reader’s task then, which is more difficult than that of a listener,
is to interpret correctly the writer’s attitude, tone and level of formality. The reader has to pay
attention to the fact that grammatical structures and word choice vary according to the level of
formality intended.
Variation in Language 43
Levels of formality can be set out on a scale ranging from the most formal to the most informal.
These levels have been given the following names by the linguist Martin Joos:
frozen, formal, consultative, casual, intimate.
They can be explained in the following way:
Frozen: for print and declamation, in which no direct response from a reader/listener is expected
Formal: for use in socially formal contexts, for example, conversations between strangers on
ceremonial occasions
Consultative: the speaker supplies background information, assuming it to be necessary for full
comprehension by a listener who is expected to participate continuously
Casual: for dialogue between friends, acquaintances or insiders in which ellipsis and slang are
used
Intimate: for communication between people who are very close and employ minimal sentence
structure and jargon which may be restricted to and understood only by such people.
The following variants of the same sentence illustrate the changes from one extreme of formality
to the other of informality:
Everyone should go
All visitors are asked to
upstairs at once.
proceed upstairs at once. OK fellas, time
we go up now.
Would everyone please Let’s go upstairs.

go upstairs right away?
What formality levels are represented in the expressions?
It is not in all cases that judgements of experienced persons will be identical in identifying
whether a level is “formal” or “consultative” or any of the other descriptive words given. These
terms are meant to be guides to the understanding and appreciation of differences in formality
levels; they are not and cannot be used with absolute precision.
In choosing one word rather than another, a writer has to pay attention to the tone that each
word chosen creates and the compatibility of different words. The overall effect of a passage
may be very clear to a reader who can then sum up the tone by one of the following words:
cynical : good-natured
facetious : sincere
sympathetic : unsympathetic
sincere : tongue-in-cheek
sarcastic : complimentary
emotional : restrained
formal : informal
friendly : hostile
abrasive : comforting
In addition to these contrasting pairs, the following words are also used to sum up the tone of
a passage:
comic, hilarious, funny

intimate, passionate, heightened
rhetorical, grand, dignified, distant
urgent, frightened, tense
forthright, frank, genuine
reassuring, comforting
condescending, patronising
Inexperienced writers are often so limited in their choices that they do not seem conscious
of the idea of choosing between different ways of saying things. Experienced writers, on the
other hand, are conscious of many ways of saying the same thing and for the most part choose
specific words and sentence structures consciously. You can observe conscious choices made
by experienced writers as they move from rough draft (to second and other drafts) to fair copy.
Effectiveness in Writing
For writing to be effective it must achieve its purpose. For it to achieve its purpose it must be
appropriate; it must reflect the writer’s intentions and it must be intelligible to the reader. A
writer can learn to improve his/her writing skills firstly by being aware of the different varieties
of written language and secondly by choosing carefully those features that make the reader’s task
less arduous. A reader can improve his/her level of comprehension by being aware of linguistic
devices used by writers and by being able to separate substance from medium. If you want to be
a good reader you should try to develop a critical acumen.
To produce a good piece of informative writing, for example, you should have:
i. adequate knowledge of the subject matter
ii. command of the terms and expressions of the subject
iii. a determination to make your language clear, precise and effective.

It is natural when you do not know what you should, to make all kinds of attempts to disguise
your ignorance. The most common way this is done is by vagueness. Therefore, in order to
improve your chances of writing well, you have to improve your knowledge of the subject matter
by doing some research. In getting more familiar with the subject matter, you will automatically
come to know and remember the terminology of the subject, what is called “technical” words
or “jargon.” If you are writing on English literature, for example, you will come to know and
use such terms as theme, plot, style, story-line. When you begin to write about biology, you start off
with terms such as vertebrate, organism, monocotyledon, photosynthesis. Ignorance of the subject and
vagueness used to try to cover it up will seriously damage an informative essay.
In order to explain a concept which is difficult, a writer may use an analogy (i.e. a comparison)
with something which has a familiar structure, e.g. a man, a bird. Some social science subjects
have used concepts and structures from biology. A simple example is the concept of the family
“tree.” Here the structure of a tree with its branches (drawn upside down) is used to show the
relationship between father, mother, children, grandchildren, cousins, uncles, aunts, etc. The
word morphology was first used in the natural sciences and was then introduced into language
study to refer to the study of words. There is a famous case of an anthropologist, named Claude
Levi-Strauss, who took concepts and relationships developed in a branch of language study,
called Structural Linguistics, and used them to explain relationships in primitive societies. At the
back of most of these analogies is the idea that many structures and relationships in the universe
are basically similar, with differencse only in appearance.
To get an idea of the metaphorical transfer of terms into a scientific subject, read the following
passage:
Metaphor in Immunology
Chemistry students are familiar with atoms that “like” to bond. Physics
students encounter magnetic poles that “repel” or “attract.” Science education
[and science writing, for that matter] depends on metaphor to illustrate
complicated concepts…
The role of metaphor in science is well recognised and for the most part
unquestioned by its perpetrators…. Immunologist Fred Karush of the University
of Pennsylvania has questioned metaphor’s role in his field, one of the more
complicated disciplines of medicine. At a recent conference on the history
of immunology, he said that metaphorical language has been the “primary
vehicle” for explaining the basic concepts of immunology and in so doing has
been both helpful and harmful.
Immunology, perhaps because of its complexity, lends itself to metaphors.

And the bulk of the metaphors utilized in the popular press are military in
nature: A foreign organism invades, perhaps camouflaged as something else.
The body, if its advanced warning system detects the enemy, puts up a line
of defense. Antibodies attack. A lot of killing goes on. Researchers look
for magic bullets or guided missiles. The metaphors make it sound as though
we each provide a battleground for our own internal Star Wars.
Immunologists themselves employ metaphors, though, says Karush, “immunologists

are more peacefully inclined.” There are such “metaphorical fossils” as the
lock-and-key analogy used to illustrate the specificity of the interaction
between antibodies and antigens. Other metaphors popular among immunologists
imbue immune system components with the ability to think, recognize and act
– tolerance, surveillance, foreignness, helper T cells, rejection. Karush
counts as many as three or four dozen. “It… may be argued,” he says, “that
the only way we can name and characterize a new phenomenon or idea is by
reference to concepts with which we are already familiar, that is, by the
use of analogy and metaphor.”
But on the other hand, he says, metaphors can limit thinking…. Take killer T
cells. “The killer T cell creates a picture of shooting or bombing, and people
begin to use it as though that is the reality. It makes it more difficult to
describe the process,” says Karush. Killer T cells are not actually out there
committing murder – what actually happens is that the cells secrete chemicals
that burst nearby cells….
“The difference between being a victim of metaphor and using it is whether

you go beyond it in experimental analysis,” Karush says. A metaphor can be
a general organizing principle for an otherwise-unwieldy scheme. Take away
metaphor from science teaching or reporting and you’re left with mostly dry
data. Then again, take away certain metaphors such as avidity from science
research and researchers might think more precisely.
(Source - J. Silberner, Science News, 130, 1986, p. 254.)
What you come to understand from the passage above is that metaphors are a part of scientific
writing just as they are a part of artistic writing. In the case of artistic writing, however, the
purpose of the writer in many cases is to awaken an emotional response in the reader rather
than simply to give information. In such cases the writer may be more original and creative in the
use of metaphors. Read the following extract from Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream”
speech, paying careful attention to the speaker’s metaphors:
But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm
threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining
our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek
to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and
hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plain of dignity
and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into
physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of
meeting physical force with soul force; and the marvelous new militancy,
which has engulfed the Negro community, must not lead us to a distrust of
all white people.
(Source - Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech. August 1963.)
Note the following metaphors in the speech:
the warm threshold

the palace of justice
thirst for freedom
the cup of bitterness and hatred
the high plain of dignity and discipline
we must rise to the majestic heights
soul force
the marvelous new militancy, which has engulfed the Negro community
These metaphors do not give the feeling that they have been borrowed from previous speakers;
they show some amount of newness and creativity. They are effective because they convey the
speaker’s ideas in a more appealing way.
Application: Choice of Variety

Analyse the following three passages, making reference to the factors which influence the choice
of varieties.
1. (a) Ain’t done it? Don’t gimme no lies. Man, I jes knows you done it! I ain’t seen you,
but I don’t got to. What you tellin’ me? Ain’t nobody else been in dere! Got to be
you! I sez, ‘s you’!
(b) Didn’t do what? What d’you think I’m giddy or nuts or something? Okay, so I didn’t
actually see you, but so what? You alone were in there, so who else could have done
it if it wasn’t you? I say it’s you, and, brother, you’ve got a load o’proving before I
could change my mind!
(c) Didn’t do it indeed! Can you expect anyone to believe that? Although I didn’t
actually see you I’m certain it’s you because you were the only person in fact there.
If you’re not the culprit who else may one possibly blame?
(d) I’m afraid one is simply not persuaded of your innocence by your mere denial of
the accusation. On the contrary circumstance of your being the sole person present
almost suffices to convince one of your guilt. Indeed the conclusion is inescapable!
2. Henderson (over newspaper): How about the Globe tomorrow?

Grace (from kitchen): Wednesday? Cyn and Bob are coming for dinner.
H: Again?
G: They’re leaving on Saturday.
H: Oh (pause). Friday?
G: Why not Thursday?
H: Meeting with Benskin.
G: Oh. (pause) His place?
H: Uh? Oh, no. Jackie’s this week.
G: (pause) Tom will be there?
H: Guess so.
G: Ask him about the bayhouse.
H: Where’s that coffee?
G: Just a min. Just let me finish … (pause) Isn’t your insurance due soon?
H: Yeah. Remind me. (pause) Thursday morning. Too busy tomorrow.
G: Usual rounds?
H: Longer than usual - right down to Maxwell.
3. Tohave faith in the dignity and worth of the individual man as an end in
himself, to believe that it is better to be governed by persuasion than
by coercion, to believe that fraternal goodwill is more worthy than a
selfish and contentious spirit, to believe that in the long run all values
are inseparable from the love of truth and the disinterested search for
it, to believe that knowledge and the power it confers should be used to
promote the welfare and happiness of all men rather than to serve the
interests of those individuals and classes whom fortune and intelligence
endow with temporary advantage - these are the values which are affirmed
by the traditional democratic ideology…. The case of democracy is that it
accepts the rational and humane values as ends, and proposes as the means
of realizing them the minimum of coercion and the maximum of voluntary
assent. We may well abandon the cosmological temple in which the democratic
ideology originally enshrined these values without renouncing the faith

it was designed to celebrate. The essence of that faith is belief in the
capacity of man, as a rational and humane creature, to achieve the good
life by rational and humane means. The chief virtue of democracy, and
the sole reason for cherishing it, is that with all its faults it still
provides the most favourable conditions for achieving that end by those
means.
(Source - Carl L. Becker, New Liberties for Old.)
4. Say in not more than fifty words what the main point is in the passage “Metaphor in
Immunology” on pages 45 and 46.
5. “Many invalid judgements as to the ‘correctness’ of language are due to a misunderstanding

of the nature and characteristics of language itself.” Remembering what you read about
language in Section One, say what merit this statement has.
•
The Varieties and the Relationships Among Them
The following are some of the more common words used to refer to different varieties of
language:
standard, jargon, colloquial, slang, dialect, patois, Creole.
In none of these terms is the meaning one-dimensional and simple. Principally because of the
lack of distinction between specialised and nonspecialised usage, these terms have developed a
measure of vagueness and in some cases overlap. It is therefore important to come to understand
the specialised meanings and to separate them from the casual usages of the terms.
The only term given above which cannot be used to refer to language variation in almost any
country is the last one (i.e. Creole). All the others are words used generally in the English language
to refer to varieties which form a part of normal human societies. In other words, every speaker
in whatever country can vary his/her language in such a way that the different varieties become
clear. However, speech, more so than writing, does not proceed in such a manner that these
identifiable varieties are kept separate – speakers shift backward and forward at will to suit their
own purposes and intentions. So, what are here identified as if they are separate entities equal in
size are not. They are, in speech especially, integral and necessary parts of the communication
system of a community. It would therefore be absurd for a speaker in an English-speaking
country, for example, to make the claim “I speak only Standard English.”
Such a one-dimensional person would be constantly out of place and incongruous.
For purposes of clearer presentation, the varieties are divided up in the next three parts of the
section as follows:
• standard and jargon are taken together to represent what is typical of the formal context;
• slang and colloquial are taken together because they are varieties which reflect speech more
than the first two;
• dialect, patois and Creole are taken together because they are terms generally used and
understood to refer to non-standard language varieties in the Caribbean region.
These divisions, which are here made for convenience, do not and are not meant to create an
artificial separation of the varieties.
5
Writing inVarieties
English WritingUsed
in Englishin Formal
Writing Writing
Writing for a general audience in a formal context normally requires the use of Standard
English. However, when the audience is a specialised one, that is, an association of engineers or
cosmetologists, for example, the Standard English used includes technical words, expressions
and other features peculiar to the specific group. These peculiarities are identified as the jargon
of the subject. “Standard English” is therefore a broader term than “jargon” and refers to
what a layman conceives of as the correct, grammatical forms and structures of the language.
Jargon is usually limited to vocabulary and special ways of representing the subject matter of
the discipline.
Standard English
The following extracts give information about what is called Standard English and attitudes
towards it.
a. The immediate problem centres on Standard English, or what is popularly

known as “good English.” As defined by the linguist, this is a dialect
that originated in the region of London some five to six centuries ago and
has since spread, with variations, all over the English-speaking world.
It is the English used by educated people when carrying on their affairs
publicly. It is therefore the language of not only literature and learning
but also church and school, government and law, all the professions. It is
so familiar that in a sense it is easy to recognize - the reader is reading
it right now. Yet there is no single, fixed, “right” form of Standard
English. It embraces many forms, varying with country, profession, and
purpose. In particular it has two distinct major varieties, written and
spoken English. It is always fluid, growing, changing with usage, which
determines its correctness. And though as the language of the educated and
the ruling classes it is a “prestige dialect,” well for all the ambitious
to master, it is not necessarily, intrinsically superior in all respects
to other dialects. Often it borrows from them, in time making many a slang
expression respectable English.
The popular idea of it, however, is quite different. To most people

its chief distinction is correctness, and correctness is supposedly
determined by a fixed, uniform, permanent standard, comparable in authority
to the Ten Commandments. The standard is set by a dictionary, whose
editors are regarded as legislators of language when not dictators. The
notion produced the recent furore over Webster’s Third New International
Dictionary, which admitted much common usage that had not been considered
respectable. English professors led the attack on its policy as “an
outrage” or “a very great calamity.” In a commencement address one orated

that such failures to maintain standards of good English were sins against
our whole heritage, even crimes against humanity.
In the schools, misconceptions of Standard English have produced

“Schoolmarm English,” taught as if it were a dead language, like
Latin. In particular teachers have treated spoken English as simply
an inferior form of written English, instead of a properly different
form, and assumed that “Colloquial” means corrupt. They have taught
their students never to write in the natural ways they talked; they
have even tried to make them talk more in the way they were supposed
to write. Likewise they have “corrected” much natural pronunciation,
teaching that interesting, for example, must have four syllables.
(Source - H. J. Muller, The Uses of English: Guidelines for the teaching of English, New York:
Holt, Rinehart, 1967, p. 58.)
b. Among the varieties of English there is one that in the opinion of many is
the only variety that matters. This is Standard English. We have got into
the way of speaking about Standard English, but it does not follow that
anyone speaks it. The term is a convenient abstraction, like the average
man or the identikit portrait of a wanted criminal. This statement will be
disputed by many people who claim that they always speak Standard English,
but a careful listener will usually be able to notice many ways in which
they diverge from the norm.
Standard English is sometimes defined as the speech which is least

likely to attract attention to itself as being peculiar to any class
or locality. The objection to this definition is that the likelihood of
attracting attention to itself depends on environment. In a Yorkshire
mining village Standard English would be more likely to attract
attention as being peculiar than would the dialect of the village.
(Source - G. L. Brook, Varieties of English, London: Macmillan, 1973.)
c.
The different varieties of English in use overseas, as well as British
English, are all regional dialects of the same language, which it is
convenient to call English, and each of them has many sub-dialects, both
regional and social. The view of dialect that should be resisted is that
it involves deviation from a norm. Standard English, which, as its name
implies, is regarded by many as a norm, is simply one sub-dialect of
English, which, for various historical reasons, has come to enjoy special
prestige in some circles while in others it arouses dislike or amusement.
(Source - Author’s notes)
Varieties Used in Formal Writing 53
Standard and Caribbean Standard

It is best to remember the notion of “standard” in this context by relating it to the process of
standardisation and to see it as the result of this process. Standardisation is both a conscious and
an unconscious process. Editors of newspapers and publishers of books may take conscious
decisions to eliminate certain words, phrases and structures from their publications as unsuitable
in “proper” writing. When decisions of this type are taken by editors generally, the result is that
over a period of time a distinction is made between what is “proper” and what is not “proper.”
Those features which are regarded as “proper” fall within the standard language; the others fall
outside. In formal education, teachers, especially language teachers, will also make decisions about
what is suitable for writing and what is not. As a result, those who go through the educational
system will form impressions, usually very strong ones, about what is “good” and “correct” and
fit to be written and what is not. The written variety of the language consequently acquires a
dominant aspect of having to conform to rules of propriety and correctness prescribed by the
educated and the influential in the society. Societies vary in what they accept as “correct” and
standard. For instance, in the USA “color” is correct and standard while “colour” is not.
Societies with a long history of mass education and publication of printed material usually have a
relatively fixed standard which has evolved out of this experience. Societies with a much shorter
history of mass education and publication usually demonstrate an incipient standard or depend
on external standards for guidance. Books and other printed materials written and published
in the Caribbean are very recent and not abundant enough to constitute an authority on what is
standard and what is not. The percentage of the population in the anglophone Caribbean that
has been exposed to secondary and tertiary level education is still not large and its experience is
not long enough to supply a voice of authority to determine what is standard and what is not.
The notion of Caribbean Standard English is important because in accepting it, you recognise
the right of Caribbean people to make their own decisions about what is “good,” “proper,” “fit”
and “correct” English in their societies. In other words, when children in school are asked to
write about their experiences, they will have “good,” “fit,” “proper” and “correct” words to talk
about the flora and fauna around them, and they will have sayings and idioms which are familiar
to them and related to their daily lives. Caribbean Standard English is mutually intelligible with
standard varieties of English elsewhere in grammar and syntax. One might find differences,
however, in the lexicon and pronunciation.
In the case of a language such as English which has major standard varieties in Britain and the
USA, evolution or development of a standard elsewhere does not mean relaxation of rules
governing the structure of grammatically correct English sentences or any such deviation from
what is accepted internationally as English. Caribbean Standard English has no such implication.
It is the peculiarities of Caribbean societies – the trees, fruits, cultural manifestations, social
relationships, lore – which must be represented in a standard way in writing and formal
intercourse.
Application: Standard and Caribbean Standard

1. What are the functions of Standard English in the Caribbean?
2. From your own experience, what is it about Standard English that makes it difficult to
learn, if indeed you think that it is difficult to learn?
3. How do you respond to the claim that Standard English marginalises the masses in the
Jargon
anglophone Caribbean?
•
A professional group can develop its own terms to refer to the subject-matter of its own
area. Such specialised language is called “jargon.” For example, lawyers and doctors have their
own jargon; disc jockeys very often have their own words and phrases which they use when
presenting their programmes; truck drivers in the USA are said to use their own jargon when
communicating by CB radio; television shows, especially those dealing with police, detectives,
doctors and lawyers, have their own jargon which does not necessarily reflect the everyday
language of these professions. Institutions and governments have over the years developed a
kind of jargon which is clear to people within these bodies because it has a familiar format and
uses well-known words and phrases. For example, the civil service and banks have many pre-set
letters or parts of letters which they send out to the public. The jargon of such letters is very
often disconcerting and not easily understood by people outside these bodies. However, major
institutions are not inclined to change the language of their letters because it is tried and tested;
it is for the outsider to get to understand this language in order to benefit from the information
in such correspondence.
Jargon, when used within a group, is a shorthand way of saying things and is usually precise in
that the specific meanings of the words and phrases are clear to the members of the group. If,
for example, doctors had to use everyday language to refer to operations, treatments, predictions
and equipment in medicine, it would be time-consuming and much less precise because everyday
words do not often have clear meanings for all concerned. On the other hand, jargon used by a
member of a group to someone who is not a member is inappropriate and inconsiderate; jargon
Used In This Way Is Usually Meant To Impress And Not To Communicate.
The Jargon of a Subject – Words

The words used in a specific subject can have special meanings or their everyday meanings. Words
used to classify, for example, class, kind, division, type, in some subjects are not interchangeable.
In other words, in sociology there is a term social class, but there is no specific term social kind
or social division. In biology, on the other hand, there is a term phenotype, but there is no term
phenoclass or phenokind. There is, in a number of subjects the term prototype, but no protoclass or
protokind. Common words, therefore, are also technical words in some subjects. A problem that
arises out of this is deciding when the word is being used with its common meaning and when
it has a specialised meaning. In most cases, the context should help in determining this. The
word general sometimes means “all” and sometimes “most.” A general election is an election of all
members and a general practitioner considers all ailments. In such set expressions, you have to pay
attention to specialised meanings.
Common words can also be used with specialised meanings which really start as metaphors and
have not completely lost all of their metaphorical associations. Meteorologists talk about the eye
of a hurricane and a trough on the chart, terms which have a meaning in the subject, but are still
related to their common meanings. Metaphorical extension of everyday words is a commonplace
in many subjects.
Technical words in a subject are often “converted” or “derived” words, typical of what is called
the “noun” style. A word may start as a verb (play) and is converted into a noun (a play) and then
an adjective (a play ground).
Can you come over to play I saw a wonderful I’ve just put the baby to sit
with me this afternoon? play last week. in her play pen.

Verb Noun Adjective
It is this process of conversion that gives trouble because people are not always sure what noun
ending to add to convert a verb and also how to spell the word correctly when conversion
involves leaving out and putting on letters. On the other hand, you may be aware of two or more
nouns which are related to a verb, but you are not too sure of the exact context and meaning of
the derived nouns e.g.
sense, sensation, sensitivity, sensibility, sensuality.

It is of course a very good habit to use your dictionary constantly and carefully to try to
distinguish between words, but this is an area in which general reading and careful listening to
educated speech will help. You should never be cowed into silence or avoidance in order not to
make mistakes. Writing is a learning process and learning often involves making mistakes.
The Jargon of a Subject – Sentence Structure

In order to make an event or situation seem less immediate, less direct and less personal, what
are called “impersonal constructions” can be used. Impersonal constructions begin with it or
there. Here are a few examples:
It is necessary that…
It is advisable that …
It is said that …
It is possible that …
There must be …
There should be …
There is the possibility that …
Such sentences which begin with the word it are called impersonal because the it does not refer
back to a noun previously mentioned as it does if you say
The bread is in the oven: I put it there myself.
Generally, then, constructions are regarded as impersonal when they are not introduced by (i.e.
do not start off with) a specific “I” or “you” or “he/she/it” or their plurals.
In addition to impersonal constructions, passive constructions can also be used to present

information in an impersonal way. A passive construction is one which contains some part of
the verb “to be” followed by an “ed” or past participle form of the verb and, in some cases, by
the word “by” plus a noun for example, He was struck by the ball.
“be” + past participle of “strike” + by + noun
In the sentence above, the last part (by the ball) can be left off, in which case, the hearer has to
guess who or what struck the person. Notice that if the sentence is turned around (i.e. The ball
struck him) no part of the sentence can be left off.
Here are a few other examples of passives:
You are reminded to go early.

They have been asked to continue.
The chairman is expected to make an address.
Passive constructions, since they make statements in an indirect way, create the impression of
distance and formality. These constructions are a normal part of formal English and occur, for
example, in business letters and official documents.
Application: Jargon
1.(a) Identify the tone of the following greetings (at the beginning of a speech or letter)
using the words given in Chapter 4 in the section Attitude, formality level and tone. (You
may use more than one word in each case.)
(b) Who would you say is speaking to whom?
(c) What would be the corresponding words to use in each case to end the speech/letter?
i. Dear Sir
ii. Hi
iii. Brothers and Sisters
iv. Dear Mr Medford
v. Hail Dread!
vi. Mikey
vii. Distinguished Guests, Ladies and Gentlemen
viii. Comrades
2. Explain the likely circumstances, sender and recipient of each of the following:
(a) We regret to inform you that …
(b) We are pleased to inform you that …
(c) We are giving active consideration to your letter of 2012-05-29.
(d) We have put your letter on file and will deal with it in due course. Please note that
requests are dealt with on a first-come first-served basis.
(e) Your application cannot be processed until you submit evidence of a) resident status
b) income tax clearance.
(f) We are awaiting letters from your referees and a transcript of your school record
before we make a final determination in your case.
3. Consider the Civil Service circular below. It is written in an impersonal, formal tone.
Identify all the passive and impersonal constructions used to achieve this effect.
FROM: CHIEF PERSONNEL OFFICER

PERMANENT SECRETARIES AND HEADS OF
TO:
DEPARTMENTS
DATE: 30th May 2011
Personnel Census in the Public Service
1. The Cabinet has concluded that as an aspect of Manpower Planning in the Public
Service, a Census should be conducted of personnel in the Service to identify their
skills and competencies and to indicate shortfalls in training requirements. The Census
will also be used as the beginning of a computer-based Personnel Management
Information System.
2. Census Date has been fixed for 11th October 2012 and the Census will be conducted in
the first instance for all personnel - temporary and permanent - who hold established
posts.
3. Liaison Officers in each Ministry/Department will be responsible for the distribution,

completion and return of questionnaires to be used in the Census.
4. In order to have the Census conducted smoothly, it will be necessary to train the
Liaison Officers to assist personnel in completing the Census questionnaire as well as
to code questionnaires.
5. In this regard, you are asked to identify suitable personnel in your Ministry/Department
to be trained as Liaison Officers and persons performing personnel functions. It is
proposed to have a ratio of one Liaison Officer up to every 25 members of staff.
6. Training of Liaison officers is expected to commence during the month of August,

2012.
7. You are asked to submit to this Division not later than 30th July 2012, the names and
grades of personnel in your Ministry /Department who should be trained as Liaison
Officers and to bring the provisions of this circular to the attention of all members
of staff.
•
Computer Jargon
A great number of people, adults especially, are afraid to use and are uncomfortable with
computer technology. In order to conquer this fear and uneasiness, those who develop and
market this technology try to make it as “user-friendly” as possible. They provide “interface”
between the highly sophisticated technology and the “scared” adult, so that the adult can use
the technology as quickly and as easily as possible without having to know how it works. Part of
this “interface” is the language that is used. Not only do the parts of the electronic equipment in
front of you on the desk have names that are normal English words (e.g. keyboard, monitor/screen,
mouse, joy-stick, printer), but also the pre-packaged programs require understanding of only simple
words (e.g. command, file, edit, escape).
However, these words are somewhat deceptive, for in computer use, unlike in their normal
traditional use, they have special and singular meanings directly related to keys on a keyboard.
You are probably very familiar with the use of computers and have developed precision and
orderliness in using them.
You are probably familiar with the jargon used in computer technology. For example, the
following are still common usage: computers “talk to each other,” “viruses,” “boot-up,” “reboot.”
Because of the general dominance of computers in the world today, some of these computer
meanings become more and more familiar and are used in non-computer contexts.
Application: Jargon
Read the following passage from the book The State of the Language by Philip Howard and answer
the questions following:
But the latest and fastest growing of the technical jargons, as we move into
the age of the silicon chip, is Computerese. It has already given us such
popularized technicalities as ‘interface’ and ‘input’. Like many new jargons,
deficient of vocabulary, it converts nouns into verbs, as ‘to access’ and ‘to
format’. It then converts the verb back into a gerund noun again by adding
- ing. For example, ‘window’ is a vogue word and metaphor of Computerese. It
refers to the latest technology that allows a computerist to keep a dozen or
more items on his screen at the same time, as on a crowded desk. This has
created the verb ‘to window’, and then the gerund ‘windowing’, or keeping
a cluttered VDU screen. The bright new word has already been picked up by
the bower-birds of marketing, who have, characteristically, got the jargon
slightly wrong. ‘Our window for this product is very small’ is used to mean
that the product will be obsolete very quickly ….
Computerese is an instructive example of how fast jargon is changing in

the present English revolution. Computers are a field where technology is
moving extremely fast: too fast, in fact, for language to keep up with it.
You frequently hear computer people talking about ‘Core Store.’ They are
referring to the memory of the computer, that is, the part of the computer
that holds data that is being processed …. Computerese still widely uses the
term Core Store for the memory of a computer, even though it has become an
anachronism in ten years. Since the early seventies the ferrite cores that
were the basis of memory have become obsolete, and are no longer used. They
have been replaced by silicon chips ….
Computerese is a classic example of how the vast and hurried strides of modem
science and technology are changing the English language. The strides are so
fast that even that swift runner, language, cannot keep up.
i) What is a silicon chip and what is meant by “the age of the silicon chip”?
ii) What does -ese at the end of Computerese mean? Write down as many other words as
possible which have the same ending -ese.
iii) What, according to the author, do deficient jargons do?
iv) Here is a definition of “bower-bird”:
a family of birds, the males of which build a decorated shelter of leafy branches to attract the females.
What meaning and impression is the author trying to convey by the phrase “the bower-
birds of marketing”?
v) Explain in your own words in a paragraph the relationship between the development of
computer technology and the development of language.
Newspaper Jargon
•
The word “journalese” is used to describe the style of language found in newspapers. However,
it is not easy to identify the precise characteristics of “journalese.” Following are some possible
reasons for the notion that newspapers have their own kind of jargon:
• a general impression created by the kind of language used in newspaper headlines

• the tendency towards sensationalism and bias common in many newspapers
• a habit of making up words and using punctuation in a creative way
• the belief that since the newspaper has to cater to the average person, the language cannot
be too difficult, the sentences cannot be too long, and the content must be made
palatable and interesting.
Although a newspaper contains contributions from many different people in many different
contexts, it is the editor who makes decisions about the form and suitability of the language in
each contribution. (In actual fact, it is not a single editor making these decisions, but a number
of them assigned to supervise different parts of the newspaper.) Journalese, then, may very well
be the direct result of commercial demands – the need to sell and make a profit – as well as the
reading and intellectual level of newspaper readers.
Newspapers are dominated by headlines. They catch the reader’s interest either because they are
puzzling, amusing or provocative. The headline is used to make the reader read the article, not
to give a summary of the article, because if this is done, the reader will go on to something else,
unless there is something very appealing in the subject itself. There is a difference between the
title given to an academic essay and the headline in a newspaper or magazine. In an essay the
title gives the topic, but in a newspaper the headline attracts and causes the reader to read on.
Headlines have to be short and fit on one line normally. In order to do this, headlines omit words
which the average reader automatically fills in from knowledge of the language and the situation.
Jargon – Foreign Words

The English language uses many words from other languages. Words like rendezvous and ad hoc
are used in everyday speech without any hint that they are not normal English words or that
they are being used to impress the listener. On the other hand, certain professions have foreign
words and phrases, some of which are understood by the layman and some of which are not.
For instance, law has kept phrases from Latin, some of which are supposed to be generally
understood e.g.
decree nisi (in divorce)

sine die (a case can be put off without a date set for resumption)
prima facie (a case in which there is enough evidence to merit a trial).
Even in these cases the phrases are regarded as normal, even though many people do not
understand their meaning.
However, in the areas of food and fashion, English has for centuries used French words, not
only as normal, everyday words, but to give an air of sophistication, to suggest special features.
For example, fashionable shops, in advertising their goods and services, may make use of such
words as boutique, ambience, a la mode, objets d’art, chef d’oeuvre, carte blanche.
Many products are given foreign names, especially French ones. Some English words are even
made to look French e.g. L’eggs (panty hose). It is important to know and understand these words,
not merely to save yourself embarrassment if you find yourself in “sophisticated” company, but
because tourism today brings many normal citizens into contact with “sophisticated” living
generally and specifically into contact with the terms used in the preparation and serving of
food. As is to be expected, when restaurants advertise their menus and services, those which
regard themselves as sophisticated make sure to include appropriate French words.
It is just as important to be able to recognize the written word, for example, on a menu, as it is
to know its pronunciation. Here are a number of French words used in the area of dining:
restaurant hors d’oeuvres

café entrée
cuisine entremets
chef pâté de foie gras
Maitre d’ les petits fours
buffet consommé
à la carte flambé
bon appétit puree
gourmet fondue
cordon bleu sauté
au gratin rosé
Some of these words are no longer even seen as foreign.
Even in some non-specialised contexts, speakers and writers like to impress their audiences by
using Latin words and phrases or words from other languages. As a result, many foreign words
and phrases have thus become a part of English and are used every day. Here are a few words
taken from Latin which are now common in English usage:
bona fide sine qua non in situ

de facto quasi ex officio
ad hoc in memoriam terra firma
inter alia status quo post mortem
per se quid pro quo quantum
Application: Jargon (Foreign Words)

1. Make up ten well-structured and meaningful sentences illustrating the use of all fifteen
of the Latin words/phrases given at the end of the section Jargon – foreign words. Do not
use more than two of the words/phrases in any one sentence.
2. Latin words listed at the end of the foreign jargon word section are not pronounced
like English. They are pronounced with the phonology of Latin. For example, sine die
is pronounced [si –ne] [di – e] (or to use common English equivalents for the Latin
pronunciation it would be like this (see nay) (dee ay). Go to a dictionary and check the
phonetic representation of how these terms are pronounced.
3. Whereas Latin words originally were used to give the impression of learning, French
words have always been used to give an air of sophistication. Here are some French
words which are commonly used today in English:
carte blanche esprit de corps exposé

coup en passant tête-à-tête
resumé debris en route
vis-à-vis par excellence laissez-faire
You should notice that, by and large, these words retain their French sound and this is
where sophistication is involved, for correct pronunciation of the words suggests that
the speaker is familiar with French and all that this implies.
(a) Are there good equivalents of these words in English?
(b) Account for the relationship between Latin and learning on the one hand and French
and sophistication on the other.
•
ASSIGNMENT
1. More hours are assigned to the formal teaching of English in schools in the Caribbean
than to any other subject. Yet, by the time most children leave school, they have not
mastered Standard English either in its spoken or its written form in any subject. What
are some possible reasons for this lack of achievement and what would you propose as
a solution to this problem?
2. In order to improve their performance in public examinations, a science teacher once

advised his students not to answer questions with too many words, but to choose those
questions which had mostly science words, letters and symbols. What is your reaction to
this kind of advice?
3. Examiners in several subjects believe that it is not their job to correct English language
problems and that as long as they can decipher what a student meant they will award full
marks to the answer. What is your reaction to this belief and practice?
6
Writing in English Writ- ing in Speech-related
English Writing in EnglishVarieties
Writing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in
Even though all written English is constantly affected by speech, there are some varieties in
which the features of speech are much more evident than others. An author of a novel, for
example, may try to create an atmosphere of informality by using dialogue which contains
features of direct speech. A fashion editor of a newspaper or magazine may insert some of the
latest fashionable words into a review of a recent show. A sports reporter may try to enliven
his version of a football match with expressions current among the players. In these and all
such cases, features of speech are being used prominently in written material to bring the
writing closer to the live situation. The general term that is used to identify Standard English
which deliberately intends to reflect current speech is “colloquial English.” The term “slang” is
narrower in its meaning in that it refers to words and expressions used in colloquial English that
are fashionable and novel.
Colloquial English
The following extracts give information on and definitions of the term “colloquial” which
should help to make the term clearer.
a. Colloquial English does not mean English that is not Standard. It means
the accepted spoken idiom, in contrast to a formal, literary [variety]….
A Grammar published in 1930 lists Do you have a Swordfish? as a colloquial
construction; the literary form is given as Have you a Swordfish? Many of
the best contemporary writers and public speakers use colloquial English
by preference. They avoid the literary forms that could not be used in
conversation.
It therefore used to be said that Colloquial English was like a good

business suit and Literary English like formal dress. The analogy still
holds. But one should remember that times have changed, that a good
business suit is seldom out of place and that formal dress, where not
required, at a picnic, for example, may be ridiculous.
(Source - B. Evans and C. Evans, A Dictionary of Contemporary American Usage, New York:
Random House, 1957.)
b. “The colloquial” - “colloquialisms” - is the name applied to that large

tract of English which lies between Standard English and slang; it is of
a higher status than that of slang, and, at its highest, it is scarcely
distinquishable from familiar English (Informal Standard English). Every
educated person has at least two ways of speaking his mother tongue. The
first is that which he employs in his family, among his familiar friends,
Speech-related Varieties 65
and on ordinary occasions. The second is that which he uses in discoursing

on more complicated subjects, and in addressing persons with whom he
is less intimately acquainted. The difference between these two forms
consists, in great measure, in a difference of vocabulary.
(Source - J. Greenough and G. L. Kittredge, Words and Their Ways in English, London: Penguin
1969, p. 75.)
c.
Colloquial. a. pert. to, or used in, ordinary conversation.
Colloquialism, n. an expression used in an ordinary conversation, but not

regarded as slang.
(Source - The Webster Universal Dictionary. Toronto: Collins, 1963.)
d. Colloquial English is conversational English, more often spoken than

written, which has the short sentences and the casual constructions and
vocabulary of the everyday, relaxed speech of educated people. Abundant
use of contractions, as in informal talk, incomplete sentences, some
use of slang, and the use of colloquial expressions like “let’s don’t,”
“rarely ever,” “Can’t seem to” are frequent characteristics of this
conversational English. Formal structures are often simplified: “I’m sure
she’ll be there” instead of the more formal “I am sure that she will be
there.” Colloquial English is personal and familiar in tone.
(Source - Genevieve B. Birk and Newman P. Birk, Using English Effectively, 1965 p. 62.)
From the extracts above one can conclude that “colloquial” is a term used to refer to the kind
of language used in conversations, especially among people who are familiar with each other. It
is usually casual in tone and the speaker does not pay as much attention to speech as if it were a
formal occasion. Colloquial language differs from formal language in
• the words used (everyday words rather than learned words)
• the length of sentences (shorter, simpler sentences)
• the shortening of words (for example, haven’t, can’t, he’s)
• the use of elliptical as opposed to full sentences (i.e. not saying the whole sentence or
leaving out parts because the person listening understands).
Slang
The word “cool” has been a normal word in the English language for a long time, but when it is
used in an expression like “that’s cool” with the meaning “all right,” “good,” “acceptable,” then
it becomes slang. The word “nerd” came into the language as a slang term but it has continued
to be used and is now an accepted word. Slang is popular and fashionable use of words and
phrases which may be either old words given new meanings or new, made-up words. Fashion
changes and so do slang expressions – what was fashionable and novel a few generations ago
may have become normal Standard English today or it may be now completely forgotten.
Slang is a normal part of speech, but it may be frowned on in writing, especially formal writing.
When such expressions are used in writing, they are normally put in inverted commas to indicate
that they are not normal. Of course, in personal letters written to close friends in which very often
one writes in the same way one speaks, if one’s normal conversation contains slang expressions,
then most likely one’s letters will, and these expressions will not be in inverted commas.
Each generation develops its own slang expressions and even groups within each generation
(for example, the “jet set” or the middle class) try to have expressions which are different from
others. So, to demonstrate that one belongs to the group or that one is “with it,” one has to use
the code words of the group. Slang is more important to teenagers than to any other age group
in society.
Following are a few definitions and comments on the term “slang”:
a.
Slang is language regarded as unsuitable for standard, cultivated and
especially formal writing. In slang the creative forces that shape
language are often exceedingly active and much slang is vivid and clever
and forceful. Slang ages quickly and nothing so stamps a total lack of
force or originality upon a man or woman as the steady use of outmoded
slang.
(Source - B. Evans and C. Evans, A Dictionary of Contemporary American Usage.)
b. One characteristic of slang which arises from the attribute of novelty is

that slang words have a very short life in the language.
c.
Slang is defined as “A variety of speech characterized by the newly
coined and rapidly changing vocabulary used by the young, social and
professional groups for “in-group” communication, and thus tending to
prevent understanding by most of the speech community.”
(Source - Dictionary of Language and Linguistics.)
d.
The nonstandard vocabulary of a given culture or subculture, consisting
typically of arbitrary and often ephemeral coinages and figures of speech
characterized by spontaneity and raciness.
(Source - American Heritage Dictionary, New York: Dell Publishing Co Inc., 1983.)
To further explain the term, one can suggest the following life history for a slang expression:
(a) first stage

An individual (e.g., a disc jockey) uses an expression.
(b) second stage

The expression becomes popular with a certain group and is used and over-used.
(c) next stage

The expression is gradually used less frequently as an in-group word and becomes
a normal word used by everybody, or it goes out of active use and is forgotten (as
for example words such as “craft,” “nirkle”).
The most important characteristic to look for in determining whether expressions are slang is
the motive or intention of the speaker/writer. If the speaker is giving the impression that he/
she is up with the latest trends or is a trend setter, or if the speaker is using the language of an
in-group or of the “jet-set” type, or if the speaker makes it seem as if his/her language is the
normal language of artists, actors, athletes, entertainers, singers, then the language will have a
slangy tone and contain many slang expressions. Critics and connoisseurs, in order to establish
their credentials, usually use slang expressions.
Colloquial and Slang

Read the following extract which tries to make the distinction between “colloquial” and “slang”
clearer:
It is in fact usual to find that the status of a word is to be decided only
from the way it is used on a particular occasion. There is nothing colloquial
or slangy or American or British about ‘old’, ‘boy’, ‘jerk’ (‘the car stopped
with a jerk’), ‘angel’, ‘smoking’, ‘ears’ – so far as the words themselves
are concerned. But when ‘angel’ is used to describe a doctor it is colloquial
and when people are said to be ‘smoking their ears off’ this is slang; when a
person is referred to as an ‘old boy’, these words are being used in a way
that is recognisably colloquial (and chiefly British): and when ‘jerk’ is used
in the sense of ‘odd person’, it is both slang and American.
It will be noticed that we are distinguishing between ‘colloquial’ (also

called ‘informal’ and ‘familiar’) and slang. There is, of course, some
overlap; that is to say, it is unusual to find slang outside colloquial
speech. But describing a usage as ‘colloquial’ means only that it tends not
to be used on formal occasions, though perfectly polite and acceptable in
informal conversation. A slang usage, on the other hand, is not generally
introduced into formal conversation unless speakers are on very intimate
terms: slang embraces precisely those racy, daring and at their best,
fairly new expressions that have not been accepted by the majority of us as
“standard English.”
(Source - Quirk, The Use of English, London: English Language Book Society, 1972.)
Application: Speech-related Varieties

1.
Read the following passage and answer the questions following:
‘Now you just watch yourself. Anything you need just ask Bertram, and
don’t be trying to do too much.’
Bertram looked around at the kitchen and saw that the dog was no longer
there. Then he heard Mrs Sutton slowly tiptoeing her way down the three
steps and into the yard.
‘Come,’ she said. ‘You can escort me back up the gate to my house. You
seen the new place I’m living in?’
Bertram smiled and nodded. ‘It seems very handsome to me. Just the sort
of place you deserve after all these years.’
Mrs Sutton looked pleased and took his arm. Then she pointed her stick
toward the gate, indicating the way they should move off.
As soon as they started to trudge their way up the dusty incline, Mrs
Sutton turned to look at him. ‘Your mother’s not in too good health, you
know.’
Bertram looked back at her. He wondered why she was wasting her breath on
telling him the obvious. Mrs Sutton went on. ‘Your brother passing on so
suddenly seemed to take the spirit from her.’ She paused. ‘And not hearing
from you didn’t do her much good either.
(Source - Caryl Phillips, A State of Independence, New York: Macmillan Publishing Company;
Collier Books, pp.79-80.)
a) Are the words, phrases and clauses in the dialogue above identical to what a real-life
character in the context would produce? Justify your answer by referring directly to
the text.
b) Suggest factors which caused the writer to present the speech of the characters in
the form that he does.
2. In the following passage the character is talking to himself. Identify those words and
phrases which are typical of the everyday speech of the country. Identify any that are
clearly not. Comment on the tone of the passage.
He wasn’t a tourist and he didn’t want anyone taking him for a tourist. He
was from here and he wanted to be seen and known for that. It would have to
emanate from him, himself inhabit a costume which would come alive when he
moved. He saw wings, the wings of the red devil and the butterfly Papillon,
Moco Jumbie reaching for the sky on his long stilt legs. He would have to
come out and be, be from here. He didn’t want anyone to say that he was
moving like a tourist, and yet, he didn’t want anyone to suspect that he
was forcing it, trying to be a local and being anyone but himself.
Like this morning self outside Mr. Elcock’s parlour when he went to
buy the Express: ‘Honky.’ He didn’t acknowledge it. His eyes slit and
he kept looking straight ahead into the parlour at the pile of Express
newspapers on the counter. He felt the blood rising into his cheeks. When
he turned around he would have to face the fellas. He would have to walk
the gauntlet of the fellas on the bridge. ‘Honky.’
‘Reds.’ Did that feel better? A red skin for a white skin? You couldn’t
belong if you were white. He didn’t believe that, and was that the point
anyway? Colour. ‘Reds.’ He felt a tinge of, well at least they think I
belong.
(Source - Lawrence Scott, “King Sailor One j’Ouvert Morning,” Caribbean New Wave, 154.)
3. Comment on the language of the following passage, saying whether there are any
elements of speech and informal English in it:
Everybody in the district knew Miss Dorcas was the best looking among all
other girls. All the men of his father’s time said so. Knowing how to be
warm and modest, rounded and curved in all the right places, she was the
most appealing from Negril to Morant Point, they all said. Her deep brown
eyes, her voice, her smiles and slim legs carried her like a princess.
Though living alone with her poor granny, she was kept and shaped with a
certain kind of pride, everybody said.
Miss Dorcas could have married Mr. Felix King, the Parochial Board
representative, a man who these days owned lands from mountain to sea and
took truckfuls of coconuts and bananas to market, but her granny threw
him out. She could have married Mr. Walter Hoffman the tax collector but
her granny threw him out. The Reverend’s son had eyes on Miss Dorcas
but her granny put him off. All the other men who hung around with their
favours and gifts practically came to blows with Granny. Then Granny
got Miss Dorcas a place at the backra-house, saying: she wants her only
person in the world to do things nicely, to learn to be respectable and
be respected, to get away from all no-good man-hawks.
(Source - James Berry, Miss Dorcas.)
4. Identify as many slang words and expressions as you can that are currently used by
teenagers in your country. Identify as many slang words and expressions as possible
that are no longer current. From your two lists try to determine the area of life/activity
which seems to produce the most slang.
•
7
Varieties
Writing in English Writ- ing in inin the
English Writing Caribbean
English Writing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in
(English) Jamaican Creole French Creole
This is my book / Liv sala sé sa mwen /

A fi mi book dat
This book is mine Sa sé liv mwen
In the Caribbean the words dialect, patois and creole conjure up ideas of nonstandard speech,
the language of uneducated people, language used by older people, the language of comic and
light-hearted situations, quaint language, and the language of conversation as opposed to that
used in writing. The first two words are known by most people whereas the last one, in refer-
ence to language, is much less so and may be interpreted by some of those who have heard it
used as a word concocted by linguists to dress up or disguise what is meant by one or both of
the other two. However, the fact of the matter is that neither of the three words is restricted
to the Caribbean and all three of them, especially the first one, have “respectable” meanings in
linguistic studies.
Consequently, it is important to approach an explanation of the three words with the preliminary
information that their meanings are not as simple and restricted as lay interpretation would
suggest.
Dialect
The word “dialect” is generally used in two ways which to some extent overlap. There is a
popular, lay usage and there is also a linguistic usage of the word. In popular usage the word
“dialect” refers to a variety of language that is regarded as the typical speech of uneducated, rural
people. Although this variety is associated with the rural and uneducated, it is also thought to be
the characteristic “substandard,” “incorrect,” “corrupt” or “relaxed” speech of the population
generally. In the popular, lay usage, “dialect” is contrasted with “standard” in value – the latter is
given a high, prestigious value and the former is given a low, non-prestigious value. Yet, the native
dialect is dear to the heart of the people generally because it captures deep-seated emotions and
feelings powerfully and directly.
When the word “dialect” is used by linguists, it is not set up against “standard” in a contrastive
scale of value judgment: it is used as an objective term to mean simply “a variety of a language.”
Varieties in the Caribbean 71
Language is seen by linguists as having two kinds of varieties – geographical and social. When
the linguist talks about a “regional dialect,” this is taken to mean a variety spoken in and typical
of a specific geographical area. When the linguist talks about a “social dialect,” this is taken
to mean a variety spoken by and typical of a specific social class. Any country may then be
divided up according to the different regional dialects spoken across the whole country, and the
population can be divided up according to different social dialects. Every person would then be
regarded as having a specific geographical dialect as well as a specific social dialect according
to the characteristics of his/her speech. The word “dialect” is therefore a very useful word in
the study of languages in that it allows the linguist to highlight and account for the differences
within a single language. This kind of analysis stretches beyond a single country if a language is
used by the people of more than one country. For instance, Spanish, French and English, among
other languages, are spoken in several countries. In order to distinguish between the French of
Canada and the French of France, you may talk about Canadian French and European French
or you may talk about the Canadian dialect of French and the French dialect of French. In the
same way, the linguist talks about the dialects of the English language, which may be identified as
British, American, Canadian, Australian, West Indian, and so forth. In order to illustrate dialectal
differences between American and British English, you will be told that there are:
i. spelling differences, for example
American British
check cheque
program programme
catalog catalogue
ax axe
tire tyre
judgment judgement
words ending with -or -our
color colour
words ending with -er -re
center centre
words ending with -ize -ise
realize realise
words ending with -ll -l
instill instil
fulfill fulfil
skilfull skilful
ii. vocabulary differences, for example
parking lot car park
bus coach
service station garage
elevator lift
telephone booth call box
drugstore chemist
Dialectal differences also exist across the anglophone Caribbean e.g.

Barbados Guyana Jamaica St Lucia
gossip talkname cass-cass roro
meeting-turn box pardner sou-sou
firefly candlefly peenie-wallie firefly
buller (homosexual) antiman battyman buller/antiman
In the case of vocabulary differences, the situation in each individual country is more complicated
than what is suggested by the above. In other words, not all the people in a country use the same
word all the time – there is regional and social variation within each country.
In spite of the differences in pronunciation, spelling and vocabulary, there is overwhelming

similarity and identity across countries which allow people to understand each other and to
believe that they are speaking the same language and to give that language the same name, for
example “English.” However, in the case of the two most populous countries in the world,
China and India, not all people who are said to be speaking the same language can understand
each other. In fact, what has happened in these countries is that for political and social reasons,
people are grouped together linguistically in spite of significant differences in the languages that
they actually speak.
Standard and Dialect

For the linguist, there is no conflict or necessary contrast between “standard” and “dialect.” All
varieties are identified as dialects, including the standard variety. The standard may be seen as a
special variety because in the society it is accorded special privileges. It is normally the subject
of more literary work and it is also the medium of more literary work than any other variety.
As a result of its constant subjection to the written medium, it will have acquired more rules
of use than any other variety. As a result of its use as an instrument of mass education, it will
have acquired a greater amount of rigidity/uniformity, to ensure wider comprehension, than
any other variety. In addition, as a result of its use as a medium of instruction throughout the
educational system, it acquires a much greater technical vocabulary than any other variety. What
becomes the standard language of a country starts off as a regional and social dialect, usually
of an influential group in the society, and gradually is accepted across the society. It is then
officially identified as the national language, meaning that it has to be used in official government
documents, in the law courts, in schools, in various types of literature and on other occasions
and in other contexts deemed to be official.
While standardisation of a specific dialect may seem today to have been historically a “natural”
process in some (European) countries and the “standard” to have been always an unparalleled
and superior variety, this is more of an illusion than a reality. The conflicts and problems of
the standardisation process are more clearly seen in countries which today must make a choice
among the different varieties spoken within the country. From such cases it becomes clear that
there are winners and losers, among the different groups and dialects in the society, and that
those speakers whose dialect is selected for standardisation have a real advantage over those who
have to learn the dialect (now “future national standard”) of another group.
Non-standard Dialect
All dialects of a language which contrast in status with the standard are referred to by the
linguist as non-standard. In the West Indies, Standard English stands in contrast to the variety
of language which most people grow up speaking normally. This native speech is usually called
“the dialect” and results from the circumstances in which European languages were learnt in
the West Indies. Many people think of this native speech as “broken” English, coming from
the mouths of people who either will not try to do better or cannot do better because of some
physical defect or because they do not have any intelligence. Such beliefs are hard to eradicate
because they are a part of human prejudice and ignorance. There are non-standard dialects in
all countries, and this points to the fact that one of the major functions of the school system
everywhere is to teach the standard version of the language.
Patois
In the West Indies, the word “patois” is used to mean the non-standard vernacular of the people,
but it actually ends up referring to two different languages or language varieties. In Jamaica,
people use the word “patois” as an alternative to “the dialect,” meaning the English-based creole
varieties which are typical in everyday conversation. In most of the other territories the word
“patois” is used to refer to the language spoken by St. Lucians and Dominicans. Patois, in the
latter sense, has the same kind of early social history as the vernacular of Jamaica except that
instead of the slaves learning English from English speakers they were learning French from
French speakers. In addition, there are patois speakers in Martinique, Guadeloupe and Haiti,
who can all understand each other without much difficulty, even though each patois differs from
the others. Trinidad and Grenada also had many (French) patois speakers at the beginning of
this century, but the old speakers have died out and not many of the present generation can
speak patois. When St. Lucia and Dominica were eventually taken over by the British, patois was
already well established and it has remained the language of the people in spite of strenuous
efforts by teachers and others to eradicate it. After English became the official language of
education in St. Lucia and Dominica, two processes started simultaneously – English began to
influence the patois of St. Lucians and Dominicans and patois in turn began to shape and affect
their English.
Creole
There is no single generally acceptable definition of a creole language and the very origin
(i.e. etymology) of the word is the subject of contention. The name criollo was first applied,
in the middle of the 16th century, to the children of the Spanish colonists and those of their
African slaves who were born in the New World. The name was subsequently extended to
the characteristics of these new natives and to animals and plants transplanted in the New
World. One of the first languages to be named creol, in the 18th century, was the language of
the people of Haiti. The name was then also applied to the languages of other islands which
had a preponderance of Africans whose native languages had caused the native speech of the
respective islands in each case to be different from the colonial European languages.
Much more recently, that is, in the 20th century, the name Creole was applied by linguists to
languages in other parts of the world – in the Indian Ocean, in the Pacific, in Africa and
elsewhere. There are two basic aspects of [the linguistic definition of] Creole languages – one
is social and the other linguistic. Socially, Creole languages emerged out of situations of social
dominance, in most of the early cases slavery, in which the majority group had to learn the
language of the dominant minority. Linguistically, Creole languages exhibit features of the main
languages in contact in the social situation and presumably some others arising out of the nature
of the situation itself. Creole languages across the Caribbean, whether in Haiti or in Jamaica,
for example, are seen to exhibit certain similarities. However, some of these same features are
present in languages in Hawaii where no Africans were ever present. Creole languages gained
prominence in linguistic circles in the 1980s when it was suggested that they were, more or less,
closest to the basic language of man.
Creole languages in the Caribbean have always coexisted with European languages and since
they were spoken by the powerless masses who originally were slaves and later continued to be
dominated by the upper class, they had little or no prestige. They suffered also because it was the
European language that was used for literate and formal purposes. Creole speakers, as a result of
social and educational pressure, have always been forced to modify their speech in the direction
of the (European) standard language. This process of decreolisation has produced a spectrum
or continuum of varieties ranging from the creole or most non-standard variety at one pole to
the standard at the other.
Some Features of English-based Creoles in the

Caribbean
Creole English
Pronunciation
t tink th think
tin thin
d dis th this
dere there
b bex v vex
neba never
t tick st stick
t+n tan st + nd stand
s bes st best
Word endings and sentence structure
two pikni two children

di boy dem the boys
dis a fi mi buk this is my book
me no nuo I do not know
unu no mus kan do it You (pl) ought to be able to do it
Run go tek it up carry it fo me Run and take it up and bring it for me
im tek tik lik di ada boy He hit the other boy with a stick
trow di ball giv me Throw the ball for me
di boy lazy too bad The boy is very lazy
Is lazy im lazy so or is fool im fool? Is he lazy or foolish?
im de a yaad He is at home
im de de He/she/it is there
Application: Varieties in the Caribbean

1. Explain the terms dialect and Creole as they apply to the West Indies so that all aspects of
their meaning and usage become clear.
2. What is the meaning of the word “vernacular”? Say whether vernacular is the same as or
different from (a) dialect (b) Creole (c) patois.
3. Identify differences in dialects within your own country.
4. Identify the ways in which the dialects of the various West Indian territories differ. Try
to account for the differences.
5. In what ways does the term “Creole” help or hinder an understanding and appreciation
of the language varieties in the Caribbean?
6. Comment on the dialectal/Creole/patois features of the following passages:

a. “Girl, I in big trouble. Big, big trouble. If you know what Tiger go
and do! He go and invite two Americans he does work with to come for
Indian food tonight!”
”Is wat happen to him at all? He crack? He is ah damn fool in truth.

He bringing wite people to eat in dat hut? Tiger must be really going
out of he head, yes. Gul, yuh making joke!”
“Man, Rita, I tell you is true! My head hot! I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, yes,” Rita mused. “Ah did know he chupid, but not so chupid!
Well, all you have to do is do yuh best, gul.”
“Rita, you go have to help me, girl.”
“But sure, man. Wat yuh want me to do?”
“Yuh have to lend me plenty tinge I want glass. Plate. Cup. Spoon.
Knife. Fork. Tablecloth.”
“Take ease, keep cool! Between the two ah we we go fix up everyting

good. Don’t look so frighten. Why de hell All yuh fraid so? Yuh Indian
people have some funny ways, oui.”
(Source - Samuel Selvon, A Brighter Sun, London: Longman Dreamboat, 1979.)
b. Lub is an awful ting, anyways de kine me ah tark about. De way it mek

me heart pulpitate, an me loss sleep ah nite time, and me caan wuk
ah day time, an me caan eben nyam me roas coco an sal ting wid any
satisfaction - I tell you man, dere is nutten in this wuld laka it,
when you gat it bad.
Smadey sey, ‘Ah lub mek de wuld go roun’, but ah me ah go round tel
me giddy wid it, me no noa whey me tan wid a Tomazina, dat yellow gal
wid de trait hair, an de flashin yie. When she luk pon me it wuss dan
lectric shack, only dis kinda nicer. It trill me to me marrow bone. Ah
wander doah ef she lub me laka me lub she, and ow me gwine find out. Me
feel dat distressful cause me noa sey she ah de kine ob chile gwine
fe hab plenty ob admirers dem.
(Source - Inez K. Sibley, Quashie’s Reflections, Jamaica: Bolivar Press, 1968.)
•
Special Varieties in West Indian Speechmaking

Erudite English, Ornate English, “Big” English or “Talking Sweet”
During the second half of the 19th century in the West Indies a number of social events began
to become a well-known part of the culture of the former slaves and their children, events
for which formal speaking was required. Some of these events (e.g., tea meetings, wedding
receptions) were held at homes and others (e.g., services of song, harvest festivals) were held
in church. These cultural events among West Indians were greatly influenced by British culture
which had a great love for eloquence and lofty style. A good example of British eloquence of
the 19th century was an orator and politician named Macaulay, whose English was so admired
that it was used in schools as a good example for children to learn by heart. The practice of
memorising passages and poems was also used in the West Indies, imitating the British love for
classical (Greek and Roman) references and metaphorical and ornate language. In many cases
the speeches produced by West Indians for weddings, tea meetings and other formal occasions
only partly succeeded in matching the original and very often the words were not understood
by speaker or audience. However, this did not prevent them from being very impressive to
listeners and from gaining great admiration for the speaker. Of course today school children
are encouraged to try to produce their own writing and speeches and not to learn by heart and
reproduce in part or wholesale speeches of other people.
Following is a part of a wedding speech in the traditional style, after which there is a part of a
tea meeting speech.
Wedding Speech
My friends, it is with feelings of no ordinary nature which have actuated
my inmost heart on this present occasion, for on such festivities so full
of mirth and aggrandisement, when the Bridegroom and Bride in all their
splendour repair to the house of reception, and there we find familiar friends
and neighbours heralding the consummation of their enterprise, it fills me with
that enthusiasm which otherwise would fail to draw out our congratulations ….
And now I must close, and take the phrase no quid nomis – “too much of one
thing is good for nothing.” Trusting these few remarks may be found multum
in parvo, as I am now attacked with cacoethes loquendi. I shall resort to my
ex cathedra asking the ladies present melodiously to sing for me a verse of
the hymn – How welcome was the call, And sweet the festal day.
The Tea Meeting Speech

Ladies and gentlemen of this social assemblage, a pleasant evening to
you all. Likewise to these great men of justice, whilst not omitting Sir
Presenter and his melodious choir.
Mr. Chairman, sir, the facts of which I shall deal this evening are mainly
old and familiar. Nor is there anything new in the general use I shall make
of them. If there be any novelty, it will be in the mode of presentation.
Sir, when I entered this hall this evening, I was touched at once by the
feeling attaching that compelled me to choose a subject through the English
prose that would bring light out of darkness, and for the edification of my
audience. The subject of my discourse tonight is one fraught with momentous
importance, not only to the citizens of this community, but to every Negro
lover of liberty and ambition, and of every free institution throughout the
West Indies. I invite your closest attention to my topic, for it concerns
your personal, social, political, and religious welfare as much as it does
mine. It concerns your children’s children’s welfare in the future.
Mr. Chairman, sir, I was informed that you were the orator of scope. To whom
must I compare you? Should I say that you are like Jeremy Bentham from the
school of political philosophy, the principles of morals and politics, who
expounded utilitarian system with great facility? Should I say that you are
like Jeremy Bentham, founder of this school of political philosophy? Or shall
I say that you are like Nicholas Copernicus, the famous astronomer who became
doctor and canon of the Chapel of Frankfurt? No, I think you are greater, I
shall now compare you to the great illustrious statesman Abraham Lincoln, a
man whose name is immortal and stands as a shining light to mankind, for he
believed justice must be done to all, even to the servants and all.
Your honor, the judges, I see that you are fully impregnated with love
for your people. I see that you are willing to fulfill the great duties of
teachers, as spiritual guides. I see your love for your country. Your motto,
sir, is to let those who have light give unto others. Sirs, tongues fail me,
to consult my Webster for words to compare you, but I do hope that you will
give justice unto whom justice belongs, when this meeting shall have come
to its close.
[Turning to Mr. Presenter and to the choir] Sir, as I came around the road
this evening I was listening to the singing of birds skipping from tree to
tree, calling their mates in a language no one can understand but themselves
and their recourse. Looking at the beautiful landscapes of the Rockford
Mountains, folding their arms at the command of nature, then I knew that
I was coming here to listen to Jubal’s harp. So, to whom must I compare
your choir? Should I say that you are like Mendelssohn, who was director of
concerts in Leipzig? Should I say that you are like Mozart, that celebrated
composer of the imperial courts of Europe? No, I shall now compare you to
Walter Damrosch, head of the American Conservatory of Music, he who toured
the European countries and was honored by nobility.
Mr. Chairman, your honor, the judges, ladies and gentlemen, fearing that
the time would keep me away from my darlings so long, I shall now turn your
attention to my topic, which is on the birth of Christ.
Charles Jack, St Vincent.
In the two preceding speeches it is quite clear that one of the main aims of the speaker in each
case is to impress the audience by his command of words or knowledge of famous people and
things. In the first speech (the wedding speech) the speaker uses a string of big words in English
followed by several Latin phrases to display a command of language. The second speaker refers
to a number of famous names (Jeremy Bentham, Nicholas Copernicus, Jubal, Mendelssohn,
Mozart, Walter Damrosch) to impress his audience with his breadth of knowledge. In both of
these cases there is a blatant attempt to overpower the listener by personal display of words
and knowledge, as if that were the major purpose of public speaking. There is nothing subtle
about it and many of the phrases and references would have been memorised or borrowed from
previous speakers. At the same time, however, remember that for many people opportunities for
public speaking did not come often and when they came, one had to show off one’s ability and
knowledge to underline one’s level of education and social position in the community. To do
otherwise would have been to risk being regarded as uneducated and unintelligent. To this day
many people still have the same views about public speaking and a speaker who succeeds in this
kind of public speaking is said to be able to “talk sweet.” In some parts of the West Indies this
erudite and ornate English is called “Big” English.
Application
1. (Wedding speech)
a. Give suitable simple equivalents to the following:
i. of no ordinary nature
ii. festivities so full of mirth
iii. repair to the house of reception
iv. heralding the consummation of their enterprise
b. What do you think the speaker means by the Latin words
i. no quid nomis
ii. multum in parvo
iii. cacoethes loquendi
iv. ex cathedra
2. (Tea meeting speech)
a. Give suitable simple equivalents to the following:
i. assemblage
ii. melodious
iii. mode
iv. edification
v. fraught
vi. utilitarian
vii. facility
viii. impregnated
b. What do you think the speaker means by
i. the orator of scope

ii. stands as a shining light to mankind
iii. let those who have light give unto others
iv. tongues fail me
v. my Webster
vi. Jubal’s harp
c. List all of the famous people identified by the speaker and say who they are or what
they are said to be famous for.
d. How would you describe the style of the speech?
e. What do you think the speaker is trying to achieve by this style of speaking?
f. In the last paragraph the speaker says that he is now going to go on to his main
topic. What is the purpose of all that he said before, that is, his introduction?
g. List all of the people identified by the speaker in his introduction.
3. In what ways, if any, have speeches at weddings and other social events changed? What
are the major reasons for the (lack of) change?
4. Should attempts be made to revive these kinds of events and speeches? Justify your
answer.
•
ASSIGNMENT
1. Identify and explain three factors which contribute to variation in language. Introduce
relevant examples to support your explanation.
2. Define fully the two terms Standard English and Creole, making sure to illustrate your
answer with relevant examples.
3. With specific reference to the Caribbean linguistic situation, show how the culture and
history of a people are reflected in their language. Make sure to illustrate your answer
with examples.
4. Lawyers, doctors, writers and politicians in the Caribbean have to be familiar with the
various language varieties used in their respective countries. Why is this so and what
steps would you take to ensure that the first three, at least, be well trained in this respect?
5. What emphasis do you think should be placed on competence in written language today,
in view of the fact that the world today appears to be dominated by the computer and
television?
Suggestions for Further Reading:

Allsopp, Richard, Dictionary of Caribbean English Usage, Cambridge; New York: Cambridge
University Press, 1988.
Quirk, Randolph, and Gabrielle Stein, English in Use, Longman Group, 1990.
Roberts, Peter, West Indians and their Language, Cambridge University Press, 1968.
Roberts, Peter, From Oral to Literate Culture: Colonial Experience in the English West Indies, Jamaica:
University of the West Indies Press, 1997.
Section 3
Discourse Types
Chapter 8: Prose Writing
• Technical/Scientific Discourse
• Artistic Discourse
Chapter 9: Rhetorical Modes

• Description
• Narration
• Exposition
• Argument
• Combination of Discourse Types
Chapter 10: Purpose

• Purpose of the Types of Discourse
• Purpose of the Author
Chapter 11: Structure and Evaluation of Text

• General Structure of Text
• Specific Devices and Techniques
– Language Register
– Sentence Structure
– Word Choice
– Tone
– Figurative Language
– Contrast
– Devices Characteristic of the Individual Types of Discourse:
Description, Narration, Exposition, Argument, Persuasion
• Evaluation of the Text
- Section 3
83
g
t- Chapter 12: Academic Language Across the Disciplines
- • Academic Language in the Arts
• Academic Language in the Sciences
• Academic Language in Law
• Academic Language in Business

This section introduces you to the general type of discourse called prose writing, and the specific
rhetorical modes of description, narration, exposition and argument found within this type
of discourse. It then introduces the purpose that is intrinsic to each of these modes as well as
that of the writer in relation to how he wants to communicate with his audience. The specific
strategies that are available to the writer, depending on his purpose, and the purposes of the
different types of discourse are discussed. How writers use and combine these strategies in order
to achieve their purpose and the basis on which you may judge whether the purpose has been
achieved successfully is then explored. While these resources are available to all writers in any
field, the section concludes by giving you a brief summary of the specific devices and techniques
which are characteristic of writing in the various disciplines within the academic world.
Aims of the Section

On completion of this section we expect that you will be able to:
1. identify a piece of prose writing and differentiate it from poetry or drama;

2. differentiate between the two types of prose, artistic and technical/scientific;
3. identify which of the four types of discourse modes is being used in a piece of prose
writing;
4. indicate when the discourse types are being used in combination;
5. indicate the purpose of each type;
6. identify the purpose of the writer and evaluate whether his choice of discourse type is
appropriate;
7. identify a range of specific devices, techniques and strategies used by the author in
structuring the text;
8. judge whether the author’s purpose has been achieved considering the specific strategies
used.
8
Prose
Writing in English Writ- ing in Writing
English Writing in English Writing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in
Prose Poetry Drama
But there is something that Pet’s Death Romeo: I take thee at thy
I must say to my people, A truck crept word:
who stand on the warm into our driveway,
threshold which leads into but caught him Call me but love, and I’ll be
the palace of justice. In in its rear wheels. new baptized;
the process of gaining our Henceforth I never will be
rightful place, we must not Romeo.
be guilty of wrongful deeds. We buried him
Let us not seek to satisfy under the twin maples Juliet: What man art thou
our thirst for freedom by in our back yard. Let this that thus bescreen’d in night
drinking from the cup of be a lesson, So stumblest on my
bitterness and hatred. We
counsel?
must forever conduct our
struggle on the high plain Romeo: By a name
my father said,
of dignity and discipline. We
but for nights I heard I know not how to tell thee
must not allow our creative
my dog clawing his way out who I am:
protest to degenerate into
until,
physical violence. Again My name, dear saint, is
one morning, his grave
and again we must rise to hateful to myself,
the majestic heights of
meeting physical force Because it is an enemy to
with soul force; and the was sunken thee;
marvelous new militancy, …
which engulfed the negro Had I it written, I would
community, must not lead tear the word.
us to a distrust of all white Juliet: My ears have not yet
people. drunk a hundred words
Of that tongue’s utterance,

yet I know the sound:
Art thou not Romeo and a

Montague?
(Sources - Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech; William Heyen, “Pet’s Death”;
Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet)
Prose Writing 85
Written discourse can be classified into three broad types: prose, poetry and drama. The type
which concerns us in this section and in the text generally, however, is prose writing. Prose writing
is a literary medium which has a close identification with the patterns and rhythms of everyday
speech. It is easily differentiated from poetry, which has its own characteristic patterns (stanzas
and rhyme, for example) and rhythms which are different from those of everyday speech. It is
a general term that covers all the rhetorical modes of written discourse (description, narration,
exposition and argument) which will be discussed later in this section. The functions of prose,
therefore, are related to the functions of the rhetorical modes: to give information, to describe
things seen or perceived, to relate events, to communicate ideas and opinions and to reason. It
is not only found in novels and short stories, but can be found in almost every sphere of life.
For example, it can be found in your textbooks and your essay assignments, on cereal boxes in
the supermarket, in the print media, in science journals and in business communication such as
letters and reports.
From the brief list of the types of written discourse that can be classed as prose writing given
above, broadly speaking, there are two types of prose writing: one that is technical/scientific in
nature and one that is artistic in nature.
Technical/Scientific Discourse
Technical/scientific writing will reflect the intention of the writers to be as objective as possible
in their approach to their subject. Objectivity is important because the primary function of this
type of discourse is to allow writers to communicate with the audience through the medium
of intellect. All devices and strategies that would short-circuit an appeal to the intellect, such
as emotional appeals and bias, are kept out of this type of prose. The writer is not in any way
trying to affect the reader. Some devices that are characteristic of this type are predominantly
denotative vocabulary, precise language, verifiable facts, statistical data and a neutral tone. The
writers do not want to interpose themselves between the text and the reader. Consider the
following description:
The man was 5 feet 3½ inches tall, weighed 100 pounds and had a pale complexion.
This is a technical/scientific statement. It is precise and contains statistical data that can be
verified. The writer is not giving a subjective interpretation of what the man looked like, which
might colour the perception of the reader; the writer is mainly conveying objective information
to the reader about the subject.
Artistic Discourse
Artistic discourse is the opposite. An artistic piece of prose writing will reflect a subjective
orientation of the writer to the subject. This subjectivity is a strategy writers use if their purpose is
an expressive one. In this case, writers are usually either trying to express their feelings, opinions,
and/or biases (regardless of whether they affect the audience or not), or they specifically intend
to affect the audience/reader. As such, they do not appeal to the intellect of the reader, but to
the reader’s imagination or emotions. Other devices which are typical of artistic discourse are
connotative word choice, richness of expression, subjective interpretation of the material, and
sometimes an affective tone (ironic, sarcastic, humorous, condescending, and the like). Consider
the following description:
He was a short, emaciated-looking guy.
This is a transformation of the technical/scientific description given above into an artistic

description. It is not precise and gives a subjective interpretation of the facts. The intent of the
writer seems to be to give a negative impression of the subject to the reader. Consequently, the
author is appealing to the reader’s imagination by use of the words “short” and “emaciated,”
which are connotative in the context.
The specific devices that are characteristic of these two types will be discussed in detail later in
the section. At this point, you merely need to be aware of them to support your classification of
a piece of prose writing as either technical/scientific or artistic.
Application: Prose writing

Read the following two passages, say what the subject of each passage is, and classify each
passage as being technical/scientific discourse or artistic discourse. Make sure to support your
classification with evidence from the passage.
1. TheWest Indies are a number of islands and islets, some of them mere
rocks, situated between 10 to 27 North and 30 to 85 West. The whole
archipelago extends in a curve from the Florida Channel (North America) to
within 7 miles of the coast of Venezuela (South America), and is divided
into three main groups:
(i) GREATER ANTILLES, which contain the largest islands, Cuba (44,000 sq.
miles) and Hispaniola (Haiti and the Dominican Republic) (30,000 sq.
miles), Jamaica and Puerto Rico;
(ii) BAHAMAS, which is now independent;
(iii)LESSER ANTILLES, which are variously divided; the British Islands in

Prose Writing 87
the Lesser Antilles are the Leeward and Windward Islands. The total
area of the archipelago is nearly 100,000 square miles, of which
72,000 square miles are independent, 12,300 British, 3,390 United
States, 1350 French, 430 Netherlands, and 90 Venezuelan.
The West Indian islands which lie nearest the East have been called
the Windward Islands; the others the Leeward Islands, on account of
the winds which in this area generally blow from the east.
(Source - “The West Indies” in Whittaker’s Almanac, London: J. Whitaker & Sons Ltd.)
2. TheCaribbean … the most magic and evocative of holiday words. An arc of

islands, 1,700 miles long stretching from the coast of South America to
offshore Florida. Sun, sea, sand, palm trees and dusky maidens - that’s
the postcard image for most people, but the Caribbean is more, far more,
than this.
Its 25 million people are separated by the language of their colonisers -

English, French, Spanish and Dutch - and united by a delight of African-
based dialects and a common heritage.
The dazzling variety of their flora and fauna is no more exotic than
the physical, cultural, psychological and racial melange which for many
centuries has fascinated travellers.
Among this relative handful of people you may find every conceivable
system of government: from Cuba, the Western Hemisphere’s only communist
nation; through the Bahamas, a stamp-sized “Switzerland of the Caribbean”
where millions of Euro dollars pass yearly; to extreme, even bizarre,
dictatorships.
Nature was in a frivolous mood when she came to the Caribbean, throwing
together monolithic black boulders over pools of clear water in Virgin
Gorda, British Virgin Islands; hollowing cavernous but bewitching volcanoes
like Montserrat’s steamy La Soufriere; anchoring rainbow-coloured fish on
a knee-deep reef out in the ocean off Tobago; and so the list goes on.
Even the sands on the innumerable beaches fringing the transparent blue
or green seas are colourful and peculiar, some pink, some silver, some
shimmering black, dazzling white or golden.
(Source - Travellers’ Guide to the Caribbean.)
•
9
Writing in English Writ- ing in Rhetorical
English Writing inMode
There are four rhetorical modes of discourse which writers may use individually or in combination
depending on the purpose they want to achieve. The four modes are classified as description,
narration, exposition and argument. Each of these modes will be discussed in turn so that you
may be able to recognise when they are being used as the primary type of discourse in a text.
Description
The verb “describe” that
The controlling function or purpose of a piece of
corresponds to the noun
descriptive prose is to express what a thing looks like,
“description” is often used
sounds like, feels like, smells like or tastes like, in short,
loosely in normal discourse. how we perceive the world through our five senses of
One may hear “She described sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste. It gives sensuous
what happened,” but details about people, places, times of day, feelings and so
what happened cannot be on. It presents its subject – which could be an Arabian
described; it must be related. It camel, a Bridgetown intersection or a tropical sunset
is important to note, therefore, – so that the reader can perceive that subject clearly.
that the word “description” as The sense that is normally predominant in description
discussed here is being used in is the visual sense; it normally calls up a visual image
its more specific and technical of the thing described. If after reading a discourse on a
concrete subject you cannot visualise what it looks like
sense (within the field of
or perceive what it feels, sounds, tastes or smells like,
language) and not with its
then that piece of prose is not description.
popular meaning.
There are particular questions

you may ask yourself when trying to identify each type of discourse. The ones that may help you
identify description are as follows: What is it like? What is he/she like?
In order to describe what a thing or person looks like, it is necessary to move spatially over your
subject to describe its various parts. For example, to describe a male character, one may start by
describing what his face looks like, then moving to his physique and stature, then to his hands
and feet, then to his clothes and so on. In the case of a landscape, one may start to describe the
scene from the background and move to the foreground, or vice versa, or one may start from
the right and move to the left. It is very important to understand that this movement is a spatial
one. In fact, the organising principle of description is spatial. While the world is organised in terms of
an interaction between time and space, both existing simultaneously, and while in reality we are
able to perceive them simultaneously, when we go to record in writing what we perceive, we are
Rhetorical Mode 89
presented with the problem of not being able to express elements of both time and space at
the same time. Consequently, when we attempt to describe an object or person, we are forced
to freeze a moment in time (stop the object from moving) in order to describe it. The object or
person described is treated with motions arrested, as in a painting or photograph. The path we
take with our eyes through space when we describe the object is therefore essentially arbitrary,
though it can be logical.
Note that descriptive prose can be either of the artistic type or the technical/scientific type.
However, the artistic type is more typical and characteristic of description. In the artistic type,
all the affective factors associated with the senses will be exploited, whereas these will be down-
played in the technical/scientific type; only the unembellished descriptive facts will be given.
Application: Description
After reading the following descriptive passage, do the following:
(a) give evidence to support the conclusion that it is a descriptive passage; and
(b) indicate whether the passage is artistic description or technical/scientific description

and why you think so.
Leamas was a short man with close, iron-grey hair, and the physique of a
swimmer. He was very strong. This strength was discernible in his back and
shoulders, in his neck, and in the stubby formation of his hands and fingers.
He had a utilitarian approach to clothes, as he did to most other things and

even the spectacles he occasionally wore had steel rims. Most of his suits
were of artificial fibre, none of them had waistcoats. He favoured shirts of
the American kind with buttons on the points of the collars, and suede shoes
with rubber soles.
He had an attractive face, muscular, and a stubborn line to his thin mouth.
His eyes were brown and small; Irish, some said. It was hard to place Leamas.
If he were to walk into a London club, the porter would certainly not mistake
him for a member; in a Berlin night club, they usually gave him the best
table. He looked like a man who could make trouble, a man who looked after
his money, a man who was not quite a gentleman.
(Source - John Le Carré, The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, Thorpe, 1963, 1991.)
•
Narration
The lay person associates the word “narration” with telling a story and this is a common type
of narration. However, the word “narration” in the context of language has a more general
meaning that covers any type of discourse that relates events in time. This more general category
may include short stories, novels, the relating of history, or the giving of instructions on how to
do something which involves a process.
Time, therefore, controls the structure of

narration. Whenever there is evidence that
Narration is concerned with events are taking place in a temporal sequence,
actions in a temporal sequence, narration is present. The natural sequence in
with life in motion. Typically, it which events occur in time is called chronological
seeks to present an event to the order, and some types of narration would not
reader, a sense of witnessing an make sense if they were related in any other
action. A test that can be used to order (instructions on how to do a process, for
determine whether a discourse is instance). However, the writer of some types of
of the narrative type is to check narration may choose for a particular purpose
if the passage can answer the to relate the sequence of events not as they
question: What happened? happened in reality but may start relating the
events at the most dramatic point of the action.
The author then goes back in time to the previous events that led up to the high point of
the story. This is called the flashback technique. This manner of handling time in a narrative
heightens the dramatic effect and so is more typical of narratives of the story type (short stories,
novels, thrillers, and so on).
Narration, like description, can be artistic or technical/scientific, as can all the modes. However,
since narration, like description, more often than not appeals to the imagination rather than
the intellect, the artistic type is more typical of narrative discourse than the technical/scientific
type. Most short stories or novels are of the artistic narrative type, and these are the types of
narration with which we are most familiar; however, the writing of history would be considered
a technical/scientific narration, since the writer is not appealing to our imagination but to our
intellect. You should note that the narrative mode in the case of reporting historical events is not
the primary mode of the text, since the primary purpose is to inform or explain and the ultimate
purpose is expository. In reality, however, the discourse types are often found in combination.
Rhetorical Mode 91
Application: Narration
After reading the narrative extract below, do the following:
a) give evidence to support the conclusion that it is a narrative; and
b) indicate whether it is an artistic narrative or a technical/scientific narrative and give

evidence from the passage to support your choice.
“Soldiers!” He thundered, hysterically. “Shoot me down that devil. Blast
him! Blast him!”
Hardin turned about in his chair to face the soldiers and smiled. One
aimed his atom blast and then lowered it. The others never budged. Salvor
Hardin, mayor of Terminus, surrounded by that soft aura, smiling so
confidently, and before whom all the power of Anacreon had crumbled to
powder, was too much for them, despite the orders of the shrieking maniac
just beyond.
Wienis screamed a curse and staggered to the nearest soldier. Wildly,

he wrestled the atom blast from the man’s hand, aimed it at Hardin, who
didn’t stir, shoved the lever and held it contacted.
The pale continuous beam impinged upon the force-field that surrounded the
mayor of Terminus and was sucked harmlessly to neutralization. Wienis
pressed harder and laughed tearingly.
Hardin still smiled and his force-field aura scarcely brightened as it

absorbed the energies of the atom blast. From his corner Lepold covered
his eyes and moaned.
And, with a yell of despair, Wienis changed his aim and shot again, and
toppled to the floor with his head blown into nothingness.
Exposition
(Source - Isaac Asimov, Foundation, Bantam Books, 1951.)
•
Exposition, like argument, is the type of discourse that is most often used by everybody. These
two modes are the ones commonly used in the academic world, in the world of work and in
everyday life. We will therefore be focusing on exposition in more detail later on in this text. At
this point, as with description and narration, the discussion remains cursory: just enough for
you to be able to recognise and differentiate among the discourse types, to be acquainted with
the characteristics of each and to be sensitive to how writers manipulate them to achieve their
purpose. Even though description and narration are not often used as primary forms within
the academic world or the world of work, you still need to be able to recognise and use these
types of discourse because they are often used as support within the context of exposition and
argument.
While the structural underpinnings of a

description are spatial and those of narration
are temporal, there is not one single method
of organising exposition but a variety of Expository discourse is concerned
methods, most of them based on logic. This is
with making an idea clear, analysing
so because the three forms deal with differing
a situation, defining a term, giving
instructions and the like. Its primary
aspects of the world: description and narration
function is to inform and to explain.
deal with the space/time continuum, but
The types of questions that a piece
exposition (as well as argument) typically deals
of exposition may answer are as
with ideas, which are essentially abstract and
follows: What is it? How does it work?
have no space/time dimensions. What are its constituent parts? What is its
To give you an idea of the types of resources importance?
available to writers of expository prose,
here is a list of the structural devices at their
disposal:
classification, analysis, definition, comparison and contrast, illustration, cause and effect
and analogy.
We discuss these devices in more detail in Section 5. You should note, however, that description
and narration may also be used as structural devices in a piece that is primarily expository in
intent. For example, instructions on how to do anything involving a process will involve narration
and be structured chronologically.
As with the other two modes discussed earlier, one may have both technical/scientific exposition
and artistic exposition. However, The technical/scientific type is more typical of exposition,
since its main purpose is to inform or to explain, which usually implies an appeal to the intellect
or understanding. For example, in giving instructions, one would not want to obscure the clarity
of the information being conveyed by bringing in artistic devices appealing to the imagination
or the emotions. However, if a writer is explaining a difficult topic to an audience who might be
bored by the subject matter, the writer may choose to present the topic artistically in order to
capture the attention of the audience. There is also the option of combining technical/scientific
devices with artistic devices.
Rhetorical Mode 93
Application: Exposition
Read the expository passage below and do the following:
a) give evidence to support the conclusion that it is expository; and
b) indicate whether it is a technical/scientific exposition, an artistic exposition or a

combination of the two, and give evidence from the passage to support your choices.
Secondary schools are for children aged 11 to 16 and over. The largest
have over 2,000 pupils but more than half the schools take between 300
and 600 pupils. In January 1974 when there were 3,550,598 full-time
pupils in maintained secondary schools, the main types were:
(a) comprehensive schools (2,136,958 pupils), whose admission

arrangements are without reference to ability or aptitude and
cater for the secondary education of all pupils in an area;
(b) secondary modern schools (856,749 pupils) providing mainly a general

education with a practical bias, with an increasing number of
pupils staying on after the school leaving age;
(c) grammar schools (411,195 pupils) providing an academic course from

11 to 16-18 years; and
(d) technical schools (21,144 pupils) providing an integrated academic

and technical course.
By 1976, 70% of the maintained secondary school population was in

comprehensive schools. The policy of the Government is to develop a
fully comprehensive system of secondary education and to end selection
at eleven plus or at any other stage.
(Source - “British State Education,” in Whittaker’s Almanac, London: J. Whittaker & Sons Ltd.)
Argument
•
There are many people who think that an argument is a heated discussion where tempers fly and
emotions get the better of reason. This is how the word is often used colloquially. This, however,
is only one type of argument. A broader definition of this discourse type, therefore, would be
more appropriate for our purpose.
Argument as a form of discourse, then, is the kind of writing which centres on beliefs, attitudes,
ideas and conceptions, and is akin to exposition in this respect. One major difference between
exposition and argument is the nature of the topic. The topic of exposition lacks controversy
and the intent of the writer is to explain or inform. In argument, the topic is usually an issue that
reasonable people may disagree on. Recognising the presence or absence of controversy in the
topic, therefore, is often the first way to differentiate between the two types.
While there are different types of arguments and various ways of structuring arguments, there
are certain common structural elements to all arguments. An argument has a set of claims (at
least two) one of which is the major claim or conclusion while the other claim(s) are the grounds
which supposedly support or justify the conclusion. Both short and long arguments will reflect
these basic structural elements. Let us look at the structural elements of a couple of short
arguments.
But tourism also has unfortunate side-effects. Look what has happened in
other parts of the world where tourists congregate: the crime rate soars,
moral standards become lower and social problems arise.
In this argument, there are two claims; one is the conclusion, “But tourism also has unfortunate
side-effects,” and the other (the rest of the argument) is the grounds on which the conclusion is
based. Here is another one.
How can you agree that a foetus is human from the moment of conception? A
man is legally dead when he is brain dead. A foetus shouldn’t be considered
alive until it has a fully developed brain.
In this argument,
there are three
claims; one is the
conclusion, the first An argument is an attempt to convince or persuade an audience
sentence, and the that a claim is true by means of appeals to reason or to emotion.
other two sentences An appeal to reason means that we cite evidence or reasons to
are two claims support or justify our claim and this type is, more specifically,
which constitute the logical argument (referred to as argument after this). The nature
grounds given by the of the evidence is such that it appeals to the audience’s rational
thought processes or to their understanding rather than to their
speaker to justify the
emotions. One can also attempt to persuade an audience that
conclusion.
a claim is true through an appeal to emotions; this type of
Within this broad argument is called psychological argument or persuasion (referred
structural pattern, to as persuasion after this).
however, there are In this case, no actual support for the claim is presented, but an
various types of attempt is made to change the audience’s mind or to motivate
arguments having the audience to act by means of manipulation of their emotions.
their own structural Argument answers the question: Why is this so?
characteristics.
Rhetorical Mode 95
Specifically, there are inductive arguments (generalisation, analogy and cause and effect) and
deductive arguments, which have fairly complex formal patterns and means of testing. We will
not be going into the specifics of these two types here, however. The ability to recognise whether
a piece of prose is an argument or not (and this can be done by identification of the basic
structural pattern discussed above) is the only ability we are attempting to foster at this point.
In practice, some students have difficulty in differentiating expository discourse from

argumentative discourse. This is more a problem with logical arguments, which are not emotive,
than with persuasive arguments, which are usually emotive. Much argument may seem like
exposition in that it may be said to explain, and there is evidence of support for the points made.
However, when you want to distinguish exposition from argument, remember that exposition
will take for granted the reader’s acceptance of the writer’s opinion while argument will give an
awareness of disagreement or conflict. In short, exposition is usually about topics on which
reasonable people agree, but argument is usually about topics on which reasonable people do
not agree.
In relation to technical/scientific argument and artistic argument, you should recognise that
what we are calling logical argument is the equivalent of technical/scientific argument and what
we are calling persuasion is the equivalent of artistic argument. Logical argument appeals to the
intellect (reason) and persuasive argument appeals to the emotions.
Application: Argument
Read the following argumentative passage and do the following:
(a) give reasons to support the conclusion that it is an argumentative passage; and
(b) indicate whether the passage is a logical argument or a piece of persuasion and give
evidence to support your choice.
Whenever men argue that women after all are biologically different, they
really don’t mean different; they mean inferior - in terms of stamina,
stability, and cerebration. The term “biologically different” has the neat
effect of taking the whole subject out of the realm of personal masculine
prejudice and landing it squarely in the lap of impartial science: it’s not
a man’s fault that women are relegated to less important, less interesting
occupations; it’s just the way the evolutionary cookie crumbled. And, as
Freud exclaimed, “Dear God! What does a woman want? Why should some women
get upset by this natural stacking of the deck when they have so many
other attractive biologic attributes? Besides, they make such great wives
and mothers.”

As a child of my culture, I don’t mind getting involved occasionally

in the fun and games of being treated like a fragile flower. But as a
physiologist working with the unromantic scientific facts of life, I find
it hard to delude myself about feminine frailty.
I know that when it comes to survival, it should have been a French-woman

rather than a Frenchman who cried: “Vive la difference!” Men have big
muscles; but in the game of durability their “delicate” wives hold the
protoplasmic aces. Any insurance actuary knows that men collapse faster
under the psychic and physical stresses of livving. Men are a dear and
wonderful tribe, and they often make great husbands and fathers; but we
all must face the fact that genetically they are the weaker sex. That
well-advertised Y chromosome of theirs is, literally, almost a blank.
(Source - “A Remarkable and Wonderful Sex,” article in McCall’s Magazine, 1971.)
•
Combination of Discourse Types
Though each rhetorical mode has been discussed above separately, and each mode was found
to have its separate purpose or function, in reality, the modes are, more often than not, found in
combination. Nearly every narration has some description intertwined with it, and nearly every
argument has some exposition. When different forms of discourse are being used in combination,
one mode will usually be controlling the primary function of the text and the others performing
secondary functions. For example, in attempting to explain something concrete to you (primary
function), because of the nature of the object, I may need to describe it, but my description is
not solely being used in order that you may perceive the object (secondary function), but that
you may understand it or be informed about it. Remember that the two broad classifications of
prose (technical/scientific and artistic) may also be combined in one discourse, as pointed out
earlier.
ASSIGNMENT
Read the three passages below and do the following:
(a) indicate whether the extract is technical/scientific or artistic and support your choice;
(b) identify the rhetorical mode or modes used in the extract; and
(c) say which mode is performing the primary function of the extract if more than one
mode is used.
1. The heart is a complicated mechanism. Essentially it is a muscular pump

composed of four chambers and their incoming and outgoing blood vessels.
Rhetorical Mode 97
The motion of these chambers is coordinated and controlled by an intricate

nervous mechanism. The chambers are paired into a right half and a left
half. The upper chamber on each side is called the auricle; the lower,
the ventricle. Each auricle is separated from its ventricle by a muscular
valve which permits the flow of blood downward but prevents the leakage
of blood backward.
(Source - Louis I. Dublin, The Problem of Heart Disease, Harper’s Magazine, 1927.)
2. Access to the Citadel from inside the perimeter wall is by the last
stretch of road, then the flight of stone steps I’d just run up. This view
from the top is breath-taking. You can see the whole western seaboard of
St. Kitts and on a clear day you can see the islands of St. Eustatius and
Saba to the North and Nevis to the South.
But right now, I wasn’t looking at the scenery. The only view I was
interested in was the road below. I reached the top of the steps with
sweat pouring off me and ran to one of the battlements. Both the big white
car and the Buick were making their way slowly up the hill. I froze and
watched them, hoping my head looked like one of the restored cannons
dotted along the ramparts.
The cars stopped by the deserted souvenir hut. Challese, Larry and Black
Power got out of the white one and walked unhurriedly into the cover of
the remains of the outer perimeter wall. Alberto jumped out of the Buick
and joined them.
For several long minutes nothing happened.

(Source - Brian Lecomber, Turn Killer, Simon & Schuster, 1975.)
3. I have been driving fast most of the afternoon. Not really at the car’s
limit, but well above the posted speed. I enjoy fast driving for its own
sake, and this new and isolated environment seemed to urge me on. After
all, Australia’s wide open spaces are exactly that, and we’d encountered
less than one car an hour in either direction of the towns. And besides,
Baker, my passenger, didn’t seem to mind. We were in the middle of a
long, sweeping righthander when suddenly the windshield was filled with
another set of headlights. Coming at us, in the middle of the road, was a
monstrous truck. The left front corner of the truck cab buried itself in
the left front door of our car. The sound was absolutely deafening. Bits
of metal and glass were everywhere. The impact ripped the watch off my
wrist and the lenses out of my glasses. But I was lucky. Because it was
a righthand-drive car, as the driver I was at least three feet away from
the point of impact. Passenger Baker, however, was not. The true violence
of the crash took place almost in his lap. Part of his seat was torn up
and out of its mount. The door and a section of the roof were battered in
toward his head and left shoulder. We were both wearing lap-and-shoulder
seat belts at the time. Mine saved my life. Baker’s did too, but in the
process broke his collarbone and badly bruised a few essential internal
organs. A grisly tradeoff.
How and why had the accident happened? What exactly had been my mistake?
Long after I’d returned to the United States, long after Baker had
recovered from his injuries, I was still asking myself those questions.
Now, almost a year later, the answers are clear. And they go far beyond
any chance encounter on a strange road in a strange land, even beyond the
crushing sense of remorse I felt at the time. And they tell me something
about who I was and what I might be. I enjoyed driving, and a big part of
that enjoyment came from taking a number of risks. Risks I thought were
calculated, but in truth were not. Rather they were part of a glorious
game, imbued with notions of independence, willful mobility and a heavy
dose of virility. I’d had more than my share of near misses, but they
merely served to prove the range of my skills at the wheel – my ability
to judge relative speed and distance, the speed of my reflexes, the
correctness of my kinesthetic instincts. In my car at speed, there was
never any hint of my own mortality. Or of anyone else’s. So the accident
had to happen. Maybe not with that truck on that blind curve on the far
side of the Earth, but somewhere.
I now see, as I did not before, that my survival (and that of others
who choose to ride with me) is at stake. I’ve never seen myself as a
particularly courageous person, but I’ve always enjoyed sports containing
an element of risk: parachuting, scuba-diving, alpine skiing and the
like. Strange that something as mundane as an auto accident should, at
age 30, give me my first glimpse of my own mortality. Thinking back to
that evening south of Bombala, I am certain that I never want to hear that
awful sound again. But I also never want to forget it.
(Source - David Abrahamson, A Drive in the Outback, with Second Chances.)
10
English Writing inPurpose
English Writing in EnglishWriting in English Writing in EnglishEnglish Writing in English
Writing in English Writing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in English WritingWriting in English Writ-
Purpose of the Types of Discourse

As you might have gathered from the discussion of the types of discourse in the previous
chapter, each type has its particular function or purpose. Since description and narration, generally
speaking, serve to express our experiences within the dimensions of space and time, they bear a
close relationship to each other and are often found together because these two dimensions are
often experienced simultaneously in reality. Specifically, though, description characteristically functions
to convey to the audience the sense of what a thing (a person, a scene, a feeling) looks like, sounds like, feels
like, smells like or tastes like. In short, description is the vehicle through which we express our
perception of the world as we apprehend it through our senses. Narration, on the other hand, is the
vehicle through which we express our experience of the world within the time dimension. We generally use this
type of discourse to relate to a reader a sequence of events as they happened or a sequence of
acts as they should be performed.
The purposes of exposition and argument are quite different from those of description and
narration but are related to each other because they encompass a similar dimension of reality –
the mind – the repository of our thoughts, ideas, beliefs and conceptions. Within this common
context, however, they have somewhat different specific purposes or functions. Exposition is
the form of discourse used to perform that basic function of language, to pass on information
to an audience/reader, but is also used to explain an idea, belief and so on. On the other
hand, while argument may be said also to explain, it is also used by the writer to convince the
audience/reader to change a conception or belief about the topic or to get the reader to take
some sort of action.
Purpose of the Author

The types of discourse provide writers with a variety of resources and strategies for
communicating with an audience in different ways. If they want to convey a picture of the
world as they perceive it through their senses, they will use the descriptive form; if they want
to relate to you something that happened to them, an experience of an event, they will use the
narrative form; if they want to explain to you something that they are experts at but you have
no knowledge of, they will use exposition; and if they want to convince you that an action you
propose to take is not a good idea, they will use argument. However, the situation is often not
as simple as this, and writers invariably find it necessary to use more than one type at a time. In
this case, one of the types is usually dominant and the others perform a secondary purpose. For
example, in attempting to convince you that you should do something about your mother, who
has suddenly begun to show evidence of senility, it might be necessary for me to explain to you
some of the specifics of senility to support my contention that you should do something. In
this case, while my primary purpose is to convince you to do something, an argumentative one,
I also need to explain something to you, so I need to use exposition in presenting my evidence,
a secondary purpose.
It should be noted that the writer’s purpose is not considered in isolation from the audience or
subject matter, but that these three things (subject, audience and purpose) are interrelated and
may influence how writers combine discourse types to achieve their objectives. For instance, a
scientist writing about new techniques in cloning to an audience of geneticists would probably
have a purely expository purpose, passing on new knowledge. However, if this same scientist
were to address a general audience of non-scientists on this topic, he/she might need to write
on a different aspect of the topic and perhaps be more persuasive in purpose than expository.
The non-scientists would perhaps not be interested in the purely technical details but in the
controversial aspects of the topic, such as the ethics of it.
Subject matter and audience not only affect the choice of discourse, but affect many other
strategies that writers use in their attempt to communicate successfully. For instance, should
they present their subject in technical/scientific prose or artistic prose? Should they use formal
language or informal language? Should their tone be neutral or sarcastic? Should the word choice
be modified to be compatible with the level of education of the reader? What the subject is and
what writers are trying to achieve with a particular audience will often influence their choices.
For instance, if the author is writing for children, word choice and complexity of language will
certainly have to be modified.
We have already looked at the two broad types of prose writing, and in the next chapter we will
examine in detail some of the other specific devices and techniques which are at the disposal of
the writer.
Application: Purpose of the Author

What prose and discourse types are likely to characterise a piece of writing with the following
purposes:
(a) explaining to a general audience how to change a tyre;
(b) conveying to a general audience the feelings that a beautiful sunset had evoked in
the author;
(c) relating to a friend an incident that had happened to the writer some time earlier;
(d) reporting the results of research on a scientific topic to a scientific audience.

•
Purpose 101
ASSIGNMENT
With the aid of the checklist that follows this assignment, do brief analyses of the following two
passages, making sure to:
(a) specify the subject matter of the extract;
(b) state the type of prose (artistic or technical/scientific) and reasons for your choice;
(c) state the likely audience for the extract and give supporting evidence; and
(d) indicate the purpose of the writer and the discourse types used.
1.
An air conditioner takes heat from one place, say the living room, and
puts it into another, usually outside the house. To do this, it uses the
principle of evaporation. (Remember how the evaporation of perspiration
cools your face?) But in the air conditioner things are a little more
complicated. A liquid called a refrigerant runs through pipes and acts
like a messenger, carrying heat from inside the house to outside.
In the hot room, the air conditioner fan blows the hot room air around
the pipes. The refrigerant in the pipes evaporates (changes into a gas),
absorbing the heat from the air, which gets cool and is blown back into
the room. This is the cooling part of the cycle.
Now the hot refrigerant goes to the outside pipes where a compressor
squeezes it, making it hotter even than the heat out of the refrigerant.
The result of this is that the heat goes into the outside air, and the
refrigerant turns back into a liquid. It is ready to start cooling your
room again.
(Source - Joe Kaufman, What Makes It Go, U.K.: Reed, 1975.)
2. Men usually get their mates by this process of falling in love; save
among the aristocracies of the North and Latin men, the marriage of
convenience is relatively rare; a hundred men marry “beneath” them to
every woman who perpetrates the same folly. And what is meant by falling
in love? What is meant by it is a procedure whereby a man accounts for
the fact of his marriage, after feminine initiative and generalship have
made it inevitable, by enshrouding it in a purple maze of romance - in
brief, by setting up the doctrine that an obviously self-possessed and
mammalian woman, engaged deliberately in the most important adventure of
her life, and with the keenest understanding of its utmost implications,
is a naive, tender, moony and almost disembodied creature, enchanted and
made perfect by emotions that have stolen upon her unawares, and which
she could not acknowledge, even to herself, without blushing to death. By
this preposterous doctrine, the defeat and enslavement of the man is made
glorious, and even gifted with a touch of flattering naughtiness. The sheer
horsepower of his wooing has assailed and overcome her maiden modesty;
she trembles in his arms; he has been granted a free franchise to work
his wicked will upon her. Thus do the ambulant images of God cloak their
shackles proudly, and divert the judicious with their boastful shouts.
Women are much more cautious about embracing the conventional hocus-pocus
of the situation. They seldom acknowledge that they have fallen in love,
as the phrase is, until the man has revealed his delusion, and so cut off
his retreat; to do otherwise would be to bring down upon their heads the
mocking and contumely of all their sisters. With them, falling in love
thus appears in the light of an afterthought, or, perhaps more accurately,
in the light of a contagion. The theory, it would seem, is that the love
of the man, laboriously avowed, has inspired it instantly, and by some
unintelligible magic; that it was non-existent until the heat of his own
flames set it off. This theory, it must be acknowledged, has a certain
element of fact in it. A woman seldom allows herself to be swayed by
emotion while the principal business is yet afoot and its issue still in
doubt; to do so would be to expose a degree of imbecility that is confined
only to the half-wits of the sex. But once the man is definitely committed,
she frequently unbends a bit, if only as a relief from the strain of a
fixed purpose, and so, throwing off her customary inhibitions, indulges in
the luxury of a more or less forced and mawkish sentiment. It is, however,
almost unheard of for her to permit herself this relaxation before the
sentimental intoxication of the man is assured. To do otherwise - that is,
to confess, even post facto, to an anterior descent - would expose her to
the scorn of all other women. Such a confession would be an admission that
emotion had got the better of her at a critical intellectual moment, and
in the eyes of women, as in the eyes of the small minority of genuinely
intelligent men, no treason to the higher cerebral centers could be more
disgraceful.
(Source - H.L. Mencken, “The War Between Man and Woman,” in Critical Eye: Thematic Readings
for Writers, ed. by Sally T. Taylor, Harcourt Brace Publishers, 1994.)
Check Your Own Work

Here is a list of questions to guide you when doing your brief analysis:
• What is the subject of the piece?

• Who is the intended audience? Why do you think so?
• What is the purpose of the writer? Why do you think so?
• What is the primary rhetorical mode used by the writer? Support your conclusion with
evidence.
Purpose 103
• Why has the author chosen this form of discourse?

• Are there any secondary discourse types used? Why?
• What general type of prose (artistic or technical/scientific) has the author used? Why?
11
Structure
Writing in English Writ- ing in English Writingand Evaluation
in English ofWriting
Writing in English Textin EnglishWriting in
General Structure of the Text
Each type of discourse has a characteristic way in which material is organised and which typifies
it. These characteristics are considered to be the general organising principle of the respective
discourse types, and they are often used as evidence for claiming that a piece of writing is one
type or the other. The basic organising principle of description is spatial and the basic organising
principle of narration is temporal. However, the organisational methods of exposition are various:
analysis, classification, definition, illustration, cause and effect, comparison and contrast and sometimes analogy.
Argument is organised by way of formal elements (at least two claims) and logic. How writers
structure their discourse, then, will give us a clue as to the type of discourse they have used
and their purpose in writing the piece. There are also choices writers have to make within each
of these structural patterns. We have already indicated (in Chapter 9) that they have choices in
relation to how they move through space and time. There are also choices to be made among the
various expository elements and among the resources of logic (inductive and deductive). We are,
however, not going into the details of these logical argumentative choices here, nor expecting
you to differentiate between the two. Argumentative discourse will be addressed in more detail
in Section Six.
Specific Devices and Techniques

There are specific devices and techniques which are among the resources and strategies that
writers have at their disposal and which they manipulate in order to achieve their purpose
successfully. We will first discuss some devices that can be used in the context of any of the
forms of discourse, and then we will examine some devices that are unique to specific forms.
You should remember that, as in the case of the choice of discourse, the particular set of devices
writers choose is dependent on their particular purpose, as well as the factors of audience,
subject matter, medium (spoken or written), and the writer’s attitude, as explained in Section 4.
Language Register
In Section Two, you were introduced to the varieties of English that are part of the resources
available to the Caribbean writer (Standard English, colloquial English, non-standard dialects
of English, slang, jargon and Caribbean creoles). You were also introduced to the formality
levels that language can range over (frozen, formal, consultative, casual and intimate) and their
conventionalised relationships to the varieties within the society. Which variety and formality
level of English a writer chooses will depend on the factors mentioned above. For instance,
Structure and Evaluation of Text 105
if a writer wants to convey to a friend the essence of a conversation between two Caribbean
teenagers on the topic of their boyfriends, he/she will choose an informal register (casual or
intimate) and a variety that is appropriate to that level of formality, such as a non-standard
dialect or Creole. However, if a writer wants to write an annual report in the context of his/her
profession as an economist, that writer will certainly choose a formal register and the Standard
English variety.
Sentence Structure
The level of complexity of sentence structure as well as the length of sentences writers use
will also be influenced by these factors. Complexity of sentence structure refers to the types of
clauses used in a sentence and how often they are used. For example, prose that is densely packed
with complex and compound-complex sentences involving subordinate clauses is more difficult
to process than prose containing predominantly simple and compound sentences involving
independent clauses. Consequently, one can use discourse that is composed of mainly simple
and compound sentences to reflect the level of language of a child. Length of sentence also
correlates with degree of complexity or difficulty. The simple structures tend to be short and the
complex structures tend to be long. Note, though, that length of sentence can also reflect other
things besides simplicity and complexity. A string of short sentences can reflect breathlessness
or a buildup of tension in a narration.
The tense of a prose extract may also be used as a device by the writer. When it does not draw
attention to itself, it is not being used as a device, but if a writer chooses to report an incident
in what is called the historic present (the event actually took place in the past, but it is being
reported in the present tense as though it is happening now), then the writer is usually attempting
to intensify the dramatic effect of the event.
So he grabs her bag, runs off with it,

and bolts around the corner. She starts
shouting when she realises what has
happened, and goes up to the police and
says, “Aren’t you going to do anything? I thought that happened a long time
Didn’t you see him grab my bag?” ago, didn’t it? I guess you’re using the
historic present because you are such
a dramatist!
Chapter 5 looks at other aspects such as the use of impersonal sentence structures (those
beginning with it + the verb to be or there + the verb to be and passive constructions), which are often
found in formal and/or academic writing. You should refer to these in addition to the aspects
discussed above.
Application: Language Register and Sentence Structure
Consider the sentence length, complexity and also the tense of the following short report of an
accident. What is the author trying to achieve?
The car’s front 24 inches have been completely demolished, but the rear end
is still travelling at an estimated speed of 35 miles an hour. The driver’s
body is still travelling at 55. The half ton motor block crunches into the
tree. The rear of the car, like a bucking horse, rises high enough to scrape
bark off low branches. The driver’s fear-frozen hands bend the steering column
into an almost vertical position. The force of gravity impales him on the
steering wheel shaft. Jagged steel punctures lung and intercostal arteries.
Blood spurts into his lungs.
(Source - E.A. Walz and C. Wall, Slow-Motion Picture of High-Speed Death.)

•
Word Choice
There are various attributes of words which writers can use as devices to assist them in achieving
their purpose in writing. Following is a list of some aspects of word choice with which you
should be familiar. If you are not familiar with these aspects of word choice, refer to Section
Nine for detailed explanations of them and practice applications:
• abstract/concrete word choice

• general/specific word choice
• denotative/connotative word choice
• euphemisms
• allusions
In addition to the elements of word choice listed above, you should see Chapters 5 and 6
for further discussion on other aspects of word choice such as technical words, specialised
vocabulary of a subject (computer jargon, newspaper jargon, etc.), and foreign words.
Tone
Related to denotative and connotative word choice is the notion of tone. Students often miss
the tone of a piece of writing because it is not as concrete a device as some of the others we
have been discussing. It is often something that is conveyed in the subtext. As we pointed
out in a previous reference to word choice and tone in Chapter 5, word choice is perhaps the
most concrete evidence you can use to support your contention that a piece of writing has a
particular tone. It is often not use of specific words that will reflect the tone of the piece but the
cumulative effect of the word choice, how some words are contrasted to other words and their
use in specific contexts. It is often necessary to read the extract aloud to pick up the tone, which
in speech is assisted by intonation. While a long list of words that can be used to identify the
tone of a piece of writing has been given to you in Chapter 5, the most common ones and the
ones you should be able to recognise are the following:
• sarcastic
• facetious/tongue-in-cheek
• hostile
• restrained
• emotional
• humorous
• condescending/patronising
Condescending/patronising Hostile
Men are a dear and wonderful

tribe, and they often make great Your apology is accepted
husbands and fathers, but we all but you certainly didn’t
must face the fact that genetically seem to mean it!
they are the weaker sex.
If the extract seems devoid of any tone that draws attention to itself, then you can say that it
has a neutral tone.
Application: Tone and Word Choice
1. Read the following passage and comment on the word choice, and the use of tone and
allusion by the author.
2. Give reasons why you think the author used these devices in the particular way they were
used.
It is difficult not to feel sorry for those who have inherited poor
intelligence, who are born with little talent for anything, and whose
personalities are weak and uninteresting. Within the limits of our
national ability, we should certainly do what we can to bring such people
up to the top of what their limited intellect can tolerate without forcing
on unwilling souls what we think would be good for them. But we must
refuse to be stampeded into providing an education less than adequate for
those most able to benefit from it, on the grounds that others are born
less fortunate. We are not responsible for nature’s genetic games, but
we go counter to her dictates at our peril. The conscious cultivation
of a mediocracy in which the bright, the original, the innovators, the
geniuses are held back in order to spare the mediocre the spectacle of
outstanding success is to me an abomination; an abomination which goes
counter to the desideratum stated at the beginning of this chapter, which
stresses the desirability of a policy “to secure the adult citizen’s right
to have been educated to the limit of his natural capacities.” This right
extends to the bright as well as the dull; we have no business to adjust
our bed of Procrustes in such a way as to hamstring our fastest runners.
Compassion for the halt and the lame, bodily and mentally, is right and
good; it is the hallmark of an advanced civilization. But we must take
care that it does not exceed what is right and proper, and lead to the
suppression of high intellect and great merit. Even the able have their
inalienable rights and a society disregards these at its peril.
There is nothing wrong with a meritocracy, as long as the merits in question

are relevant to the job in hand; the alternative is not Utopia, but a
land of the dull, governed by the dull, for the dull, a country where the
term “Art” refers to television programmes made by the untalented for the
Philistine; a country where science means nothing but the unimaginative
churning out of small technological advances in aid of the principle of
built-in obsolescence. Perhaps this Utopia of the mediocrats is not so far
off; perhaps it is time for the meritocracy to assert itself. It is later
than you think.
(Source - H. J. Eysenck, Psychology is About People, Harmondsworth: Penguin, 1977.)
•
Figurative Language
Speaking broadly, figurative language refers to the use of comparisons. These comparisons,
however, are of a particular kind, and are unlike logical comparisons, which explore the
similarities between objects/ ideas of the same class. For example, if the various aspects of
two hospitals are being compared, this is a logical comparison. What we call figurative language,
on the other hand, compares objects/ideas of different classes. If we say “the heart is like a
pump,” this is figurative language because the heart and a pump are objects belonging to two
different classes of things. In this type of comparison we transfer the significance of a simple
or familiar image to an object or idea to which it does not literally apply. Speaking specifically,
however, we can differentiate among various ways of presenting these comparisons, the most
common of which are called metaphor, simile, personification and analogy. In a way, these four are all
related. The difference between a metaphor and a simile is in the particular structural way we
present the comparison. In simile we say something is “like” something else, while in metaphor
we say it more directly as something “is” something else. The difference between these two and
personification is that in personification the comparison involves an animate and an inanimate
thing, characteristically giving the inanimate thing animate and human qualities. Metaphor is
often used as an umbrella term covering all three of these types. Metaphor and analogy are also
similar, but they are usually differentiated according to what the writer intends the comparison
to do vis-à-vis the reader. If the writer intends the comparison to affect the reader and appeal to
his/her imagination, we usually call this metaphor, but if the writer uses a comparison to appeal
to the intellect of the reader and help understanding, then we usually call the comparison an
analogy. See Section Nine for further detailed discussion on figurative language and metaphor.
Contrast
In addition to comparisons, contrast is often used as a device in all types of writing. As well as
showing how things are similar to each other, we often need to show how things are different
from each other, or to emphasise a thing or characteristic by juxtaposing it next to its opposite,
or sometimes to build up tension through conflict. We do not only use contrast in expository
writing (comparing and contrasting), but we can also find it in artistic description (contrasting
colours, feelings, etc.) and in narration (contrasting characters or motivations of characters).
Application: Figurative Language and Contrast

Read the following passage and comment on the author’s use of figurative language and contrast.
Simultaneously the teacher takes over occupancy of the other houses in

the street, the minds of the other children in his class, so that now
we have the same kind of imagery in everyone of the houses, all copies
of the teacher, in a street named Conformity. As for all the former

native occupants of the houses, now deceased, it’s what I call murder
of the imagery. Spiritually speaking, millions of children are murdered
annually. Trained and paid to do it.
On the other hand, here is the enlightened skillful teacher strolling in

the street, agog with interest in whom he meets, engaging in conversation.
An interesting person at the least, so that people from the houses, the
native inhabitants, are disposed to come out and meet him, exchange
greetings and ideas with him. Sometimes with him and often without him,
they feel free to think and do things…outside in the world. A street
named Variation.
(Source - Sylvia Ashton-Warner, “Gate Crashing a Child’s Mind,” in Patterns of Exposition,
Book 4, ed. by Randall E. Decker, Boston: Little, Brown & Co, 1974.)
•
Devices Characteristic of the Individual Types of
Discourse
In addition to the devices discussed above that can be found in any of the forms of discourse,
each of these forms has devices that are unique to it and that characterise it. These devices can
also be cited as evidence that the particular type of discourse is being used.
Devices Characteristic of Description

After you have identified that a piece of writing is descriptive, you can reinforce your classification
by looking for the other specific devices which are characteristic of description. The typical
devices are as follows:
• adjectives
• sense data
• spatial sequence
Firstly, the presence of many adjectives is characteristic of description. This makes sense because
the function of adjectives is to give you a sense of the quality of things (modify nouns) and
this is exactly what writers are attempting to do in description. Writers may choose particular
details in their description of a scene, which, cumulatively, give a dominant impression of the
scene. In short, writers may be attempting to give a theme to their description. It is important
then, in evaluating a description, to see if the cumulative effect of the adjectives used add up to
a dominant impression of decay, serenity, chaos, and so forth. As with tone, students often miss
the theme of an extract because in taking a close look at details, one often misses the overall
picture which the cumulative details convey.
The second device typical of description is the presence of sense data, that is, words, phrases
and expressions that play to the five senses: sight, touch, hearing, smell and taste. A description
will not necessarily appeal to all five senses, but the one that is invariably present is the sense of
sight. In many instances, the colours of objects are specified, or the details of the facial features
of a character are given. However, you should note that in a blind person’s work, such as that of
Helen Keller, visual images are not likely to be present, but expressions that appeal to the other
senses will be dominant. How much sense data writers use in a piece of writing and how many
senses they appeal to will depend on what they want to achieve. In some instances, they may
want you to experience the total sense of the place, but in others they may want to convey only
a general impression of it.
The third device which is unique to description is the particular descriptive sequence that writers use
in describing a person, thing or scene. We mentioned this device when we introduced description
in connection with the spatial organising principle. Writers may choose to take a logical path:
from front to back, right to left, top to bottom, they may trace a circle, or they may describe
from a moving point of view. They may also choose to move randomly when describing a
scene or person. In the latter case, these writers may be deliberately attempting to fragment their
description of the subject. This is sometimes called the “impressionistic” style, and is akin to a
camera moving randomly over the scene. Writers who use this random sequence usually have
some theme they are trying to reinforce which is compatible with this method, and they use
other methods of achieving unity in the discourse. You should not use this sequence arbitrarily,
purely for stylistic purposes, but you should have some more significant reason which should be
consistent with the writer’s overall purpose and with the other devices you choose.
Application: Description
Comment on the descriptive devices which are used by the writer of the following extract.
This building stood on the south side. A row of barrack-like shacks at back,
another row of barrack-like shacks to the north, with the crazily-leaning
fence out front, enclosed what was once a brick-paved court-yard in the
middle of which there was an ancient circular cement cistern and above it a
standpipe with a cock leaning all to one side and leaking continually with
a weary trickle of water that was sometimes stronger than others, depending
on the pressure from the main outside. In the middle of the crazy front
fence, on top of the dilapidated brick step that had belonged to the premises
before the great earthquake, was a little paint-blistered, wry-hinged, buck-
toothed, obscenely grinning, tin-patched, green-and-white gate.
(Source - Roger Mais, The Hills were Joyful Together, Heinemann, 1981.)
•
Devices Characteristic of Narration

The following are the devices which are typical of narration:
• action or dynamic verbs

• dialogue
• point of view of the narrator
• first person narrator
• third person narrator
The first device that is a marker of narration is the use of action or dynamic verbs. The verbs that
are typical of description are stative and do not call attention to themselves; however, in other
discourse types one will find a combination of stative and dynamic verbs. In narration, however,
action verbs are predominant because narration recounts events happening in time, and people
doing things.
The second device that is unique to narration is the presence of dialogue. Since narration is used
to tell a story, one is likely to find characters using direct speech.
Another device found in narration is narrative point of view. This concerns the relationship of the
narrator to the action, the characters and the audience. Depending on the subject matter, the
purpose of the writer and the type of narration (artistic or technical/scientific), the writer can
choose to use first person narration or third-person narration. In first person narration, the narrator
(not necessarily the author speaking personally, but often a fictitious “I”) is telling the audience
about an experience in which the narrator is directly involved. He is often the main character in
the story who is a participant in the action at the same time that he is relating the story. Robinson
Crusoe by Daniel Defoe is an example of an “I” (the persona), who is the main character of the
story and at the same time tells his own tale. The persona’s voice may be distinct from the voice
of the writer and you must not confuse the voice of the persona with that of the writer.
Autobiographies are also of the first-person type, since the main character and the person telling
the tale are the same. A first-person narrator may also recount the action of which he is an
observer, that is, he may be a minor character in the event, but is reporting the action from
his point of view. In typical first-person narration, there is a great deal of involvement of the
narrator with the action, which makes it a somewhat subjective point of view. The concrete
evidence that you will always find in first person narration is the presence of the first person
pronoun “I.”
In third-person narration, on the other hand, the narrator is telling about an experience in which
he himself is not involved directly. In third-person narration, then, the point of view is that
of an observer; there is a certain amount of detachment of the narrator from the action and
so this is a more objective point of view than first person narration. Authors use this point of
view when their purpose dictates that there should be some distancing of the narrator from the
action. Here again, there is some variation that authors can exploit since this observer can have
varying relationships to the action. The third-person narrator can be an omniscient narrator, that
is, the point of view can be panoramic. This type of narrator may report any or all aspects of
the action, and may even “go into the head” of any or all of the characters and describe their
thoughts. This means that the narrator can be different places at the same time, in short, playing
God. Alternatively, a third-person narrator can narrow the focus of vision and take the sharp
focus point of view. Here the narrator does not sweep the entire field of action, but focuses
attention on one of the characters and this character’s relationship to the action and the other
characters. Note that structurally, third-person pronouns will be used frequently, and first person
pronouns will be absent.
Frame 1 – Original – 3rd person Frame 2 – Modified version – lst person
The pale continuous beam impinged upon The pale continuous beam impinged upon
the force-field that surrounded the mayor the force-field that surrounded me and
of Terminus and was sucked harmlessly was sucked harmlessly to neutralization.
to neutralization. Wienis pressed harder Wienis pressed harder and laughed
and laughed tearingly. tearingly.
Hardin still smiled and his force-field aura I still smiled and my force-field aura
scarcely brightened as it absorbed the scarcely brightened as it absorbed the
energies of the atom blast. energies of the atom blast.
Devices Characteristic of Exposition

There are not really any specific devices that are unique to exposition outside of the organising
methods mentioned earlier (analysis, classification, definition, illustration, cause and effect, comparison and
contrast and analogy). This is probably because it is the most flexible discourse type, and writers can
utilise the resources of all the other types in writing exposition. For example, when writers are
called upon to analyse a subject that involves a process, though their intention is to explain or
inform, they will call on the resources of narration to assist them in explaining the process. The
methods listed above are explained in Section Five, which focuses on exposition.
Devices Characteristic of Argument

The techniques of argument are varied and we will therefore discuss the more common devices
that are characteristic of argument, enough for you to be able to do a simple evaluation of a
written argument. We will first discuss some devices typical of logical argument and then discuss
a few typical of persuasion; the devices are not necessarily the same in these two subtypes. Some
devices typical of argument are as follows:
• evidence
• facts
• authoritative opinion
• personal experience
• refutation of the counterargument
Once you have identified an argument by using the formal criteria discussed earlier in this section,
you then need to identify and evaluate the evidence that the writer has presented in support
of his major claim. In a logical argument, claims always need support, but there are different
types of support that writers may use, some of them stronger than others. Factual evidence is
the strongest type you can present in support of a claim, and this is the type of support that
writers of logical arguments most often use. Facts are the things we can verify ourselves through
observation (using our senses), or through reliable witnesses who do the observations for us.
An example of the first type would be names of people, dates of events, particular places, overt
behaviour, and so forth. Examples of facts which we accept because they have been observed
by reliable witnesses are verification of different events, for instance, that the accused was at
a different location when the murder was committed and that water boils at 100°C. However,
some points do not lend themselves to this type of support, and in these circumstances, writers
may be unable to do any better than resort to other types of support.
After facts, the second strongest type of evidence is authoritative opinion. Opinions are beliefs we
individually hold based on subjective or insufficient evidence. Opinions generally, and certainly
those of the writer or the average man, are weak support for claims made in the context of an
argument because they are thought to be subjective. Opinions of authorities in a particular field,
however, are acceptable as evidence since we assume that the authorities are giving us informed
opinions and that these opinions are objective. The third and weakest type of evidence that
writers use in arguments is personal experience. Again, this is considered to be weak evidence
because of the aspect of subjectivity. Even though this type is thought to be the least strong
of the three types, and an argument should not rely totally on this type of evidence, it is often
used to give colour and lend immediacy to the argument. This immediacy is achieved because
the reader may identify more with this type of evidence than the others. One should also note
that emotional appeals presented as evidence to support a point in logical argument is not valid
evidence but, used sparingly, is often employed to appeal to the reader’s emotions and thus keep
his attention.
The second device that is characteristic of argument and that writers should use if they want to
have an unbiased argument is refuting the counterargument. If a writer only considers his side of the
argument and totally ignores the counterargument, then as strong and as true as his argument is,
it is a biased (one-sided) argument.
Devices Characteristic of Persuasion

As we said earlier, the devices characteristic of persuasion are different from those characteristic
of logical argument. Remember also that the ones we are discussing here are only a sample of
the devices used in persuasion. Some of the most common of these are as follows:
• repetition
• rhetorical questions
• emotional appeals
One of the most common devices used in persuasive discourse is repetition. In the case of
repetition of words and phrases, the function is to hammer home the important points being
made. In the case of repetition of structure, the function is to set up a rhythm that lulls the
audience into acceptance of what is being said without giving it too much thought.
The second device that is characteristic of persuasion is the use of the rhetorical question. A
rhetorical question is one that is asked in order to make a statement rather than to elicit an
answer. It is often used to dramatise the argument and get the attention of the audience. A third
device which is frequently used in persuasion is the emotional or psychological appeal. In persuasion,
these emotional appeals are the substitute for the solid support we expect in logical argument.
There are many appeals of this sort, ranging from those that appeal to our basic needs to those
that appeal to higher order needs, but we will only mention a sample of those that are most often
used by writers of persuasive discourse. Those who wish to persuade us often use appeals to
health, sex, economy, comfort, quality, luxury, love, status, patriotism, progress and so on. While
all of these seem in a way to be positive appeals, persuaders are not beyond using appeals to fear
or making us feel guilty in order to persuade us about something.
Application: Devices Characteristic of Persuasion

Consider the function of repetition, rhetorical questions and emotional appeals in the following
short extract.
What kind of men can afford to make the streets of their towns and cities
hideous with neon at night, and their roadways with signs by day, wasting
beauty; who leave the carcasses of cars to rot in heaps; who spill their
trash into ravines and make smoking mountains of refuse for the town’s rats?
What manner of men choke off the life in rivers, streams and lakes with the
waste of their produce, making poison of water?
Who is as rich as that? Slowly the wasters and despoilers are impoverishing
our land, our nature, and our beauty, so that there will not be one beach,
one hill, one lane, one meadow, one forest free from the debris of man and
the stigma of his improvidence.
Who is so rich that he can squander forever the wealth of earth and water
for the trivial needs of vanity or the compulsive demands of greed; or so
prosperous in land that he can sacrifice nature for unnatural desires? The
earth we abuse and the living things we kill will, in the end, take their
revenge; for in exploiting their presence we are diminishing our future.
(Source - Myrna Mannes, Wasteland.)
Note that while you may have a written discourse that is purely a logical argument (in scientific
research), and one that is purely persuasion (an advertisement), the most successful pieces
of argumentative discourse often display a combination of the devices of logical argument
interspersed with persuasive devices.
2. Read the following extract and do the following:
(a) state the major purpose of the writer in writing this extract,
(b) identify the dominant type of discourse and others used,
(e) identify the audience for whom the extract is intended, and
(d) comment on the major devices and techniques used by the writer to achieve the
purpose identified above (identify at least 5 devices).
Imagine that we stand on any ordinary seaside pier, and watch the waves
rolling in and striking against the iron columns of the pier. Large waves pay
very little attention to the columns - they divide right and left and reunite
after passing each column, much as a regiment of soldiers would if a tree
stood in their road; it is almost as though the columns had not been there.
But the short waves and ripples find the columns of the pier a much more
formidable obstacle. When the short waves impinge on the column, they are
reflected back and spread as new ripples in all directions. To use a technical
term, they are “scattered.” The obstacle provided by the iron columns hardly
affects the long waves at all, but scatters the short ripples.
We have been watching a sort of working model of the way in which

sunlight struggles through the earth’s atmosphere. Between us on earth
and outer space the atmosphere interposes innumerable obstacles in the
form of molecules of air, tiny droplets of water, and small particles of
dust. These are represented by the columns of the pier.
The waves of the sea represent the sunlight. We know that sunlight is
a blend of lights of many colors - as we can prove for ourselves by
passing it through a prism, or even through a jug of water, or as Nature
demonstrates to us when she passes it through the raindrops of a summer
shower and produces a rainbow. We also know that light consists of waves
of different lengths, red light by long waves and blue light by short
waves. The mixture of waves which constitutes sunlight has to struggle
through the obstacles it meets in the atmosphere, just as the mixture of
waves at the seaside has to struggle past the columns of the pier. And
these obstacles treat the light-waves much as the columns of the pier
treat the sea-waves. The long waves which constitute red light are hardly
affected, but the short waves which constitute blue light are scattered
in all directions.
Thus, the different constituents of sunlight are treated in different ways

as they struggle through the earth’s atmosphere. A wave of blue light
may be scattered by a dust particle, and turned out of its course. After
a time a second dust particle again turns it out of its course, and so
on, until finally it enters our eyes by a path as zigzag as that of a flash of
lightning. Consequently, the blue waves of the sunlight enter our eyes from
all directions. And that is why the sky looks blue.
(Source - Sir James Jeans, “Why the Sky Is Blue,” in The Stars in Their Courses, Cambridge
University Press.)
•
Evaluation of the Text
You have been given a catalogue of the resources that prose writers have at their fingertips,
broken down into their various classes, and looked at in isolation. In practice, however, these
devices are always used in combination and the trick of writers is to meld them into a unified and
coherent whole that will succeed in achieving their purpose. If you have been following the text
in this section sequentially, you will already have done some cumulative practice doing a partial
analysis of written discourse. In effect, you have been breaking the text down into its constituent
parts by identifying those devices and techniques that the writer has used in the specific piece,
and perhaps looking at why the writer chose to use these specific devices taking account of
the subject matter, the audience, the author’s attitude to the topic and what the writer wanted
to achieve. In addition to breaking the text down into its constituent parts, and saying why the
writer chose the particular devices used, you now need to add to your analysis an evaluation
of whether you think the writer has achieved the goals both in regard to use of the particular
devices, as well as whether the piece as a whole has achieved the primary purpose of the writer.
You, of course, need to back up your evaluation constantly with evidence from the text of the
passage and/or give reasons. Here are some questions which establish the criteria you should use
when assessing whether the extract is successful or not:
• Are the intentions or purpose of the writer clear?

• Is the extract intelligible to the reader?
• Are the individual devices used appropriate or relevant to the author’s purpose?
• Does the extract reflect the overall purpose of the author in relation to the subject and
the intended audience?
It is especially important when dealing with the last question to take the audience into
consideration. For example, if you are not a person with a science background, but you are
asked to evaluate a paper that has a scientific subject and is intended for a scientific audience, you
should not evaluate the text on the basis of whether you found it successful or not, but whether
it is suitable for and likely to be successful with a reader with a science background.
Application: Evaluation of Text

Here is an example of a good student analysis of the following passage called “The Five Rings”
by Richard Saul Wurman. Read the passage first, then read the analysis and discuss its strengths
and weaknesses:
We are surrounded by information that operates at varying degrees of
immediacy to our lives. These degrees can be roughly divided into five rings,
although what constitutes information on one level for one person may operate
on another level for someone else. The rings radiate out from the most
personal information that is essential for our physical survival to the most
abstract form of information that encompasses our personal myths, cultural
development, and sociological perspective.
The first ring is internal information - the messages that run our internal
systems and enable our bodies to function. Here, information takes the form
of cerebral messages. We have perhaps the least control over this level of
information, but are the most affected by it.
The second ring is conversational information. It is the formal and informal

exchanges and conversations that we have with the people around us, be
they friends, relatives, coworkers, strangers in checkout lines, or clients
in business meetings. Conversation is a prominent source of information,
although we tend to play down or ignore its role, perhaps because of the
informality of its nature. Yet this is the source of information over which
we have the most control, both as givers and receivers of information.
The third ring is reference information. This is where we turn for the
information that runs the systems of the world - science and technology -
and, more immediately, the reference materials to which we turn in our own
lives. Reference information can be anything from a textbook on quantum
physics to the telephone book or dictionary.
The fourth ring is news information. This encompasses current events - the
information that is transmitted via the media about people, places and events
that may not directly affect our lives, but can influence our vision of the
world.
The fifth ring is cultural information, the least quantifiable form. It

encompasses history, philosophy, and the arts, any expression that represents
an attempt to understand and come to terms with our civilization. Information
garnered from other rings is incorporated here to build the body of information
that determines our own attitudes and beliefs, as well as the nature of our
society as a whole.
Although there are specific characteristics inherent to the transmission of

information at each of these levels, their systems are remarkably similar and
often they are fraught with the same problems and pitfalls. Within each is
the potential for anxiety. And, cumulatively, the grappling with information
at each of these levels can weigh us down and induce a state of helplessness.
It can paralyze thinking and prevent learning.
Information anxiety can afflict us at any level and is as likely to result

from too much as too little information.
There are several general situations likely to induce information anxiety: not
understanding information; feeling overwhelmed by the amount of information
to be understood; not knowing if certain information exists; not knowing
where to find information; and, perhaps the most frustrating, knowing exactly
where to find the information, but not having the key to access it. You are
sitting in front of your computer which contains all of the spread sheets
that will justify the money you are spending to develop a new product, but
you can’t remember the name of the file. The information remains just out of
your grasp.
You are trying to describe yourself as a lover of wine, but you have no idea
how to spell the word “oenophile.” Now dictionaries are quite useful if you
know how to spell, but if you can’t remember how the word starts, you’re in
trouble. This is the nightmare of inaccessibility - trying to find something
if you don’t know how to spell it or you don’t know what it’s called. This is
information anxiety. We are surrounded by reference materials, but without
the ability to use them, they are just another source of anxiety. I think of
them as buddhas, sitting on my shelf with all that information and a knowing
smile. It’s a challenge for me to get access to them and to make them more
accessible to others.
(Source - Richard Saul Wurman, “The Five Rings,” in Information Anxiety, ed. by, R. S. Wurman,
New York: Doubleday, 1989, 42–45.)
Student Analysis
The writer’s dual purpose is captured in the need for two thesis statements
(para. 1 and para. 8): it is to classify the various levels of information
that surround humans and to explain how together they can create a state
of anxiety and helplessness. He addresses an educated audience in formal
Standard English, but supposes some degree of knowledge about the experience
with modern information systems like the computer. This assumption allows
the use of the first person inclusive “we” and the descriptions of scenarios
involving a “you” that is the reader.
The writing is expository, but borrows from narration and description to

include rare artistic touches that enliven an essentially technical piece.
The prominent devices are analogy, analysis, division and classification,
definition, illustration, comparison and contrast and cause and effect. These
are appropriate to his explanatory function and are exemplified throughout
the extract.
The metaphor of five concentric rings is an analogy that captures the inner
and outer circles of information levels. It is more scientific in its allusion
to the planetary orbits than the lighter comparison, wrought through simile,
of reference materials to buddhas. Comparison and contrast of the levels with
each other is implied in “We have ... least control over this level,” and
“their systems are remarkably similar.” There is some irony in the comments
that the level (internal) which we least control most controls us and that
the least valued level (conversational) is the one “over which we have the
most control.” There is an overall irony in the cause and effect relationship
between our immersion in and dependence on information and its tendency to
overwhelm and frustrate us.
The levels of information are classified and divided into “internal,”

“conversational,” “reference,” “news,” and “cultural.” This is the writer’s
specialized language or jargon for the extract so he defines each term as used.
These definitions, each handled in a separate paragraph, are supplemented by
illustration or exemplification of its type, for example, “formal and informal
exchanges...with ... relatives, coworkers ...” as instances of conversational

information and “a textbook...or dictionary,” as reference information.
More creative use is made of definition with supporting illustration in the
explanation of the term “information anxiety.” The language heightens almost
to the artistic to show how this state “can weigh us down and induce a state
of helplessness.” The metaphor of being paralyzed and the brief narrations
of an imaginary subject before a computer, a dictionary or any reference
material are vivid and personal. In this definition, the relationship of
the levels described to the induced state of “information anxiety” is a
cause and effect one, as the greatest frustration is the knowledge that the
information surrounds one but is inaccessible. This is likened by metaphor
to a “nightmare.”
The tone and diction vary pleasantly between remotely technical and playfully
personal. Terms like “cultural development,” “sociological perspective,”
“cerebral,” “civilization”. are highly abstract and “spread sheets” and
“oenophile” are special terms known only by enthusiasts in their areas
(though the former is leaking into Standard English). These, though, are
balanced by the personalized “you” and the familiar, concrete referents
“coworkers,” “checkout,” “telephone book.” The rhetorical questions in the
final paragraph do even more to close the distance as does the dramatic use
of the present tense, “we are surrounded,” “you are sitting....”
Overall, the tight organization of the passage, with its brief, well divided
paragraphs and clear thesis statements serve the expository function
admirably. The proliferation of expository techniques is made accessible
by their interrelationships - for example, illustration to definition - and
their softening with artistic touches. The writer yields much information
without inducing the dreaded phenomenon of information anxiety.
ASSIGNMENT
Using the checklist that follows this assignment as a guide, do full analyses of the following
three passages:
1. Let us compare the physiological processes involved in laughter and weeping. Laughter
is triggered by the adrenal-sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system,
weeping by the parasympathetic branch. The first, as we have seen, serves to energize
the body, tensing it for action; the second has the opposite effect: it lowers blood
pressure, neutralizes excesses of blood-sugar, facilitates the elimination of body-waste
and generally tends towards quietude and catharsis - literally the ‘purging’ of tensions.
This physiological contrast is clearly reflected in the visible manifestations of laughter

and weeping. The laugher’s eyes sparkle, the corners are wrinkled, but brow and cheeks
are taut and smooth, which lends the face an expression of radiance; the lips are parted,
the corners lifted. In weeping, the eyes are ‘blinded by tears,’ they lose their focus and
lustre; the features seem to crumble; even when weeping for joy as in aesthetic rapture,
the transfigured face reflects a serene languidness.
A similar contrast is noticeable in bodily postures and motions. In laughter the head
is thrown back by a vigorous contraction of the muscles in the neck; the person who
weeps ‘lets the head drop’ (into the hands, on the table or on somebody’s shoulder).
Laughter contracts the muscles and begets agitated movements; in weeping the muscles
go flabby, the shoulders slump forward, the whole posture reflects a ‘letting go.’
(Source - Arthur Koestler, Janus: A Summing Up, A. D. Peters & Co Ltd.)
2. Tojo and Hector were both nearly sixteen but they were as different as
an Eskimo is from a Zulu tribesman. The fact that they had grown up in
the same household had made the difference more defined, more absolute.
Tojo knew what he wanted from life - a speck of land under the sun, a
wife, long cool evenings when he could make bacchanal and fete away the
hours. He had no other ambitions. Hector, on the other hand, had so
much to look forward to that he did not know what he wanted. Tojo was a
merry rascal-boy with the face and body of a gnome, a big-mouth laughing
boy with a thick skin, and the ability to bounce like a rubber ball out
of any trouble that befell him. He was mid-night black and a brilliant
smile could split his face quicker than a cutlass could open a green
coconut. He spent most of his days being a buffoon because this was an
effective way of deceiving those above him, but underneath the buffoonery
he was growing up wily and cunning. Because he had many weaknesses, he
had an instinct for the failings of others, and could exploit them to
advantage. He lived in a sub-world, in which his ancestors had existed
since they had been brought from Africa as slaves. They were a plastic
race, a resilient people and they had survived by living secret lives
among themselves acting a servile role while they corrupted, absorbed and
destroyed their master: disciplining themselves and their children to a
point of implacable docility all the time knowing that time was on their
side. Occasionally, they had erupted out of their sub-world when their
discipline had cracked. Their frightened masters had then mashed them
under hobbled heels and the survivors had retreated to their stockades of
testing his declining strength and every time they tried to emerge they
had realised that in order to keep them in a ditch their masters had to
sit on top of them in it.
(Source - Jan Carew, The Wild Coast, Longman Caribbean; The Longman Horizon Series, 1983.)
3. What is intelligence, anyway? When I was in the army, I received a kind of

aptitude test that all soldiers took and, against a normal of 100, scored
160. No one at the base had ever seen a figure like that, and for two hours
they made a big fuss over me. (It didn’t mean anything. The next day I
was still a buck private with KP - kitchen police - as my highest duty.)
All my life I’ve been registering scores like that, so that I expect other
people to think so too. Actually, though, don’t such scores simply mean
that I am very good at answering the type of academic questions that are
considered worthy of answers by the people who make up the intelligence
tests, people with intellectual bents similar to mine?
For instance, I had an auto-repair man once, who, on these intelligence

tests, could not possibly have scored more than 80, by my estimate. I
always took it for granted that I was far more intelligent than he was.
Yet, when anything went wrong with my car I hastened to him with it,
watched him anxiously as he explored its vitals, and listened to his
pronouncements as though they were divine oracles - and he always fixed my
car.
Well, then, suppose my auto-repair man devised questions for an intelligence

test. Or suppose a carpenter did, or a farmer, or, indeed, almost anyone
but an academician. By every one of those tests, I’d prove myself a moron.
And I’d be a moron, too. In a world where I could not use my academic
training and my verbal talents but had to do something intricate or hard,
working with my hands, I would do poorly. My intelligence, then, is not
absolute but is a function of the society I live in and of the fact that a
small subsection of that society has managed to foist itself on the rest
as an arbiter of such matters.
Consider my auto-repairman, again. He had a habit of telling me jokes

whenever he saw me. One time he raised his head from under the automobile
hood to say: “Doc, a deaf-and-mute guy went into a hardware store to
ask for some nails. He put two fingers together on the counter and made
hammering motions with the other hand. The clerk brought him a hammer. He
shook his head and pointed to the two fingers he was hammering. The clerk
brought him nails. He picked out the sizes he wanted, and left. Well, doc,
the next guy who came in was a blind man. He wanted scissors. How do you
suppose he asked for them?”
Indulgently, I lifted my right hand and made scissoring motions with my

first two fingers. Whereupon my auto-repair man laughed raucously and said,
“Why, you dumb jerk, he used his voice and asked for them.” Then he said
smugly, “I’ve been trying that on all my customers today.” “Did you catch
many?” I asked. “Quite a few,” he said, “but I knew for sure I’d catch
you.” “Why is that?” I asked. “Because you’re so goddamned educated, doc,
I knew you couldn’t be very smart.”
And I had an uneasy feeling he had something there.

(Source - Isaac Asimov, What is Intelligence, Anyway?)
Check Your Own Work

Here is a complete checklist which you should use when doing a full analysis of an extract:
• What is the subject of the extract?

• Who is the intended audience? Why do you think so?
• What is the purpose of the writer? Why do you think so?
• What is the primary type of discourse used by the writer? Support your conclusion with
evidence.
• Why has the author chosen this form of discourse?
• Are there any secondary forms used? Why?
• What general type of prose (artistic or technical/scientific) has the author used? Why?
• What language variety has the author used? Why?
• What is the level of formality of the language used? Why?
• How is the text organised? How does this relate to the discourse type(s) used?
• What are the major devices and techniques used by the writer to achieve his purpose
(identify at least 5) and why has he used these particular devices?
• Was the writer’s use of these individual devices successful?
• Using the criteria given in the section on evaluation above, give an overall assessment of
how successful you think the writer has been in achieving his primary purpose in writing
the piece.
Summary of Checklist of Possible Devices
Categories with Subset
Independent Word Figurative Devices Devices Devices Devices Devices

categories Choice language Typical of Typical of Typical of Typical of Typical of
Description Narration Exposition Argument Persuasion
Sentence Abstract/ Metaphor Adjectives Action Analysis Evidence (facts, Repetition

structure Concrete verbs authoritative
opinions,
personal
experience)
Tone General/ Simile Sense data Dialogue Classification Refutation Rhetorical

Specific of counter- questions
argument
Contrast Denotative/ Analogy Spatial Narrative Definition Emotional

Connotative sequence point-of- appeals
view
Euphemisms Illustration
Structure and Evaluation of Text
125
12
Academic
Writing in English Writ- ing in English Writing Language
in English Writing Across thein EnglishWriting in
in English Writing
Disciplines
You have already been introduced to the general characteristics of academic language in Chapter
3. We will, however, remind you of what those characteristics are. Firstly, academic language is
essentially written language rather than spoken language, since even when it is delivered orally,
as in a lecture or paper, there is usually some prior preparation on the part of the speaker. The
overall expectations of academic language are that it be clear, formal and unpretentious. Clarity
is a very important characteristic because the main purpose of this type of discourse is usually to
explain or clarify something, or to present a logical, reasoned argument. Most academic writing is
also formal because the writer is attempting to be as objective as possible in his presentation and
formal language tends to reflect this more than informal language. While in previous times, good
style was thought to include use of a great many polysyllabic, esoteric and pretentious words,
arbiters of modern good style do not advocate this practice. The two reasons for this change are
that pretentious language does not take the audience into consideration, and it hampers clarity
since the reader has to do too much work to uncover the meaning.
In addition to these general characteristics, there are some more specific ones that are typical of
academic writing. Because of the primary purpose of academic writing mentioned above, the two
rhetorical modes most often found in writing of this type are exposition and argument. One also
expects academic discourse to display evidence of planning as reflected in good organisation,
both within paragraphs and in the logical sequencing of paragraphs. One also expects that
academic discourse will adhere to the grammatical conventions of formal written English.
As regards the options available within word choice and tone, there are also certain types that are
characteristic of academic discourse. Abstract and denotative words will be more prominent in
academic writing than concrete, connotative words. Abstract words are often necessary because
of the topics being discussed, which are often abstract, and denotative words are used because
of the goals of objectivity and clarity. However, while connotative words are avoided, concrete
words are not taboo in academic discourse since it is often necessary to illustrate an abstract
concept by comparing it to a concrete, familiar object. You will also often find technical words
and the use of jargon peculiar to the particular field in academic writing. This type of word
choice is appropriate here because the audience for the writing normally has expertise in the area
and is familiar with the technical words and jargon. Additionally, the tone of academic discourse
is often formal and neutral rather than informal, sarcastic, humorous, etc. Again, this has to do
with objectivity and the consequent back-grounding of the personality of the writer.
Academic Language Across the Disciplines 127
There are also a couple of specific devices used in academic discourse which, in addition to the
ones mentioned above, aid in maintaining formality and objectivity. These are the use of passive
constructions to avoid overuse of the first person pronouns (which tend to suggest subjectivity)
and the use of impersonal constructions which raise the formality level of the discourse. These
two devices were already explained in some detail in Chapter 5.
More specifically, academic writing is more densely packed with semantic information than
non-academic writing. In order to achieve this, one will find that academic writing is full of
nominalisations (noun-centred constructions), participles, attributive adjectives, a series of
prepositional phrases and long, complex sentences. One will also find that factual evidence is
valued more in academic writing than anecdotal evidence or opinion and so is more common
than the other types. This factual evidence is often in the form of statistics.
While there is variation in format and presentation according to the discipline, most academic
writing will evidence the use of references and citations within the text and also carry appendices
and bibliographies as evidence of good scholarship. There are fairly rigid conventions as to how
these should be done and one needs to be consistent in following the particular style manual
accepted within a discipline. See Section Seven for further information on how to document a
paper.
Academic Language in the Arts

Within the area of the arts, writers can write academic prose displaying all the characteristics
listed above. This type of discourse can be found in critical analyses of literary works (short
stories, novels, poems, and plays), as well as in the reporting of history. In these cases, one still
needs to be formal and to maintain objectivity. However, a writer is often dealing with very
subjective and artistic subject matter in the case of literary works and so keeping artistic word
choice out of the critical analysis is not always possible. The type of evidence a writer may
present in this case may also not be factual, but be based on subjective opinions. As in all the
other areas, one will find jargon in this area as well. In addition to writing about literary works,
you may also try writing short stories, poems, and the like within the academic context. In
this case, all the subjective elements of prose writing will be called into play and any aspect of
language that lends itself to multiple meanings will be exploited to the fullest. Within the arts,
therefore, a student may exploit all the resources of language.
Application: The Arts

Comment on the characteristics of academic language within the arts in the following passage:
Rhetoric has from the beginning meant two things: ornamental speech and
persuasive speech. These two things seem psychologically opposed to each
other, as the desire to ornament is essentially disinterested, and the

desire to persuade essentially the reverse. In fact ornamental rhetoric is
inseparable from literature itself, or what we have called the hypothetical
verbal structure which exists for its own sake. Persuasive rhetoric is
applied literature, or the use of literary art to reinforce the power of
argument. Ornamental rhetoric acts on its hearers statically, leading them
to admire its own beauty or wit; persuasive rhetoric tries to lead them
kinetically toward a course of action. One articulates emotion; the other
manipulates it. And whatever we decide about the ultimate literary status
of oratory, there seems little doubt that ornamental rhetoric is the lexis
or verbal texture of poetry. Aristotle remarks, when he comes to lexis in
the Poetics, that that subject belongs more properly to rhetoric. We may,
then, adopt the following tentative postulate: that if the direct union
of grammar and logic is characteristic of non-literary verbal structures,
literature may be described as the rhetorical organization of grammar and
logic. Most of the features characteristic of literary form, such as rhyme,
alliteration, metre, antithetical balance, the use of exempla, are also
rhetorical schemata.
(Source - Northrop Frye, Anatomy of Criticism: Four Essays, Princeton University Press, 1957.)
The word “Art/art” has many meanings and associations in English. It can be used negatively to
•
convey the idea of deception and trickery and it can be used positively to refer to that peculiarly
human sense of aesthetics which pleases the spirit and uplifts societies and civilisations. As
a result of its extensive use, the word is written as both a common and a proper noun. Art,
therefore, is like language; it can vary from the mundane to the sublime. The passage below gives
three features of Art/art and the relationship between these and language.
Language and Art

Art in all its forms involves the element of creativity. In its verbal form, art has words which are
manipulated and used in the construction of genres which contain expressions of feelings of all
kinds, imagined worlds, and notions of a prospective audience or readership. No matter how real
the world may seem in some writings, it is actually the product of an individual’s interpretation
mediated through language and no two individuals will present the world identically. Since a total
picture of any slice of reality is not possible, each presentation of that reality shows the writer’s
conscious as well as unconscious preferences. Furthermore, the words and sentences chosen to
present that reality will create images and provoke interpretations peculiar to that work. Images
and their interpretations become the more special the more the writer’s work is removed from
reality. Reactions to art, and specifically verbal art, vary from individual to individual, but often
reactions are negative when what is presented is somehow not appealing in itself, or when
individuals cannot easily make sense of what is presented as art, or if the meaning suggested
differs from the individual’s own.
Art in all its forms involves the element of style. Style relates to aesthetics or beauty, which, as
a sense, is a part of the consciousness of all human beings, but which, in its details, is to a great
extent culturally determined. Style is partly conscious and partly unconscious. A writer may with
deliberateness choose certain words, idioms and expressions, but choice is being made from only
that part of the language that is known to and preferred by the writer, which is the result of that
specific writer’s life experiences. The total choice of a writer, or, in other words, the writer’s style,
will reflect the writer’s community, region, education and culture. It will also be determined by
the writer’s concept of an intended audience. Although styles may vary quickly and significantly,
great literary works have managed to rise above these variations and to preserve an appeal to
many people through different eras. There is, however, no formula which can identify what
combinations of choices are characteristic of great literary works, and there will be no universal
agreement on the effectiveness of the style of any literary work.
Art in all its forms has some purpose. A piece of creative writing may be didactic in purpose,
or it may be entertaining or it may simply be an expression of the writer’s feelings without an
intended audience. Purpose and genre often go hand in hand. Folktales, for instance, are mostly
entertaining, but in their original context they bring people together, and almost invariably by
conveying historical or educational information are didactic in purpose. On the other hand,
songs and poems, from the author’s point of view, may simply be expressions of emotion, even
if users find other purposes in them. Longer works of art, such as novels and plays, usually are
produced for multiple purposes (for example, entertainment, education, money), and especially
today such works are the product of a process of editing in which there is really more than a
single “author.” Verbal art, as an element of the visual media and multi-media, has become more
familiar to more people than any other genre.
Academic Language in the Sciences

The primary goal of academic language within the sciences is objectivity and so language that
is formal and that conveys singular meanings is paramount. All of the characteristics that were
mentioned as typical of academic prose generally are therefore also typical of academic prose
within the sciences. In addition to these, however, one will find the use of graphic symbols that
have singular meanings across linguistic barriers, as in mathematical symbols; the use of Latin
terminology (a dead language whose words will not change in meaning as those of a living
language might); factual support, often in the form of statistics; and scientific jargon.
Application: The Sciences

Identify as many characteristics of scientific prose in the following extract as you can:
The early descriptions of prosopagnosia indicated that the condition was
associated with the bilateral damage to the occipital lobes. But when after
decades of neglect, there was a resurgence of interest in prosopagnosia,
several investigators conceptualized it as a sign of unilateral damage of
the right hemisphere. At the time, the 1960s, fresh neuropsychological
investigations had revealed the major role of the right hemisphere in visual
processing and it appeared reasonable to assume that the right hemisphere might
possess the sole key to a refined visual process such as facial recognition.
Hecaen and Angelergues added strength to this hypothesis by noting that
most prosopagnosic patients had exclusive left visual field defects and
suggesting that this was due to exclusive right hemisphere damage. Later, in
a comprehensive review of the data available in 1974, Meadows concluded “that
patients with prosopagnosia have right anterior inferior occipital lesions
in the region of the occipital temporal junction. Many if not all cases have
an additional lesion in the left hemisphere.” Although these interpretations
were consonant with the anatomical localization methods at the time, the
evidence uncovered in the years that followed revealed that they were
not supportable. The current view is that bilateral lesions are indeed
necessary, a notion that is based on: (1) a critical review of the meaning of
visual field data; (2) a reassessment of post-mortem studies of prosopagnosic
patients; (3) Computed Tomography (CT), Nuclear Magnetic Resonance (NMR) and
Emission Tomography (ET) studies of patients with and without prosopagnosia;
(4) a study of patients with cerebral hemispherectomy, callosal surgery and
amnesic syndromes.
(Source - Antonio R. Damasio, “Face erception Without Recognition,” Trends in Neuroscience,

1985.)
•
Academic Language in Law
You do not have to commit a crime or be a lawyer to be involved with the law. You may not
necessarily find yourself in a court of law at any time during your lifetime, but you will definitely
find yourself confronted with legal language at some time. At a simple level, most government
forms relating to nationality; citizenship, birth, death and wills contain questions or statements
phrased in legal language. Major purchases, that is, of houses and property, normally involve
lawyers and legal language. There is also a possibility, as long as you are a registered voter, that
at any time you may be summoned to the law court to carry out your civic duty as a juror. The
newspapers and television are full of court cases, real and imagined, which whip up the fireside
lawyer in most of us. As a worker, you have to know your legal rights, which are in part written
down in some document which in some cases is given to you and which you are expected
to read. As a worker, you will have to know what constitutes a breach of contract and what
constitutes sexual harassment. There is no avoiding the law, even if you wanted to. The more you
know about it, the better. The passage below, in an introductory way, looks at the relationship
between language and the law.
Language and the Law

It may be said that the practice of law is the practice of the formal use and interpretation
of language, for lawyers in their daily practice deal with statements, briefs, affidavits, wills,
conveyances, precedents, interrogations, summations, and many other such things, all of which
have to pay special and detailed attention to language. The practice of law requires books and
records much more so than any other profession and it produces more documents than any
other profession. It seems at first as if for anything to be legal, it has to be recorded or is
recorded. In actual cases, lawyers may be successful and become famous because of their facility
with words. Yet, lawyers are not automatically associated with words, but with the dispensation
of justice and with legality, because the seriousness of the law supersedes and masks the medium
that serves it.
However, when the layman thinks of language in the context of the law, the layman has familiar
and usually negative reactions to the kind of language that is used in legal documents such as
wills, deeds and titles. Such language is thought to be difficult, if not impossible, to understand.
Lawyers, on the other hand, agree that such language, because it is tested and familiar to lawyers,
is less subject to misinterpretation in the case of disputes than is everyday language. The long
tradition of written law preserves old words and phrases which have disappeared from normal
everyday language as well as terms from Latin which convey a tone of formality and importance.
Specialist lawyers are required to write laws and constitutions to make sure that they say all
and only that which is intended. Lawyers are also required to check the terms and conditions
of business agreements and documents of all kinds to make sure that what is written down
conforms to the law of the land. All such formality and attention to language clearly indicates
that what lawyers write is more guarded and within the law than what lay persons say and write.
In fact, the words of lay persons often bring them before the courts to face charges of libel and
slander, which means that words can be just as costly legally as actions.
In all countries the law makes certain stipulations about language usage. First of all, it identifies
the official language(s) of the country and specifies when it/they must be used, as, for example,
in government documents and in schools. Secondly, in the regulation of the conduct of citizens,
certain words and expressions are deemed to be improper in certain contexts, and disregard of
these stipulations can result in punishment. Thirdly, in a court of law provision must be made
for an accused person to have an interpreter if that person does not understand the normal
language of the court. In addition to these stipulations, the law protects the illiterate person
against exploitation by specifying that for any kind of written contract with an illiterate person
to be valid, it must be clear that the illiterate person fully understands the contract. The law also
ensures that illiterate persons are not disenfranchised by allowing a literate person to cast their
votes for them as instructed, but, on the other hand, in many countries today illiteracy legally
excludes a person from being a juror.
In addition to the general characteristics of academic writing, which are also characteristic of
language within the field of law, there are certain characteristics which are unique to this area.
The over-riding principles here are that the language should have an interpretation and that it
should cover all eventualities. Because of this, words and phrases that have proved their worth
in this respect are maintained within the language of the law even though they are considered
archaic in relation to everyday usage. Words such as “heretofore,” “hereinafter,” and “hereunto”
have no currency in everyday usage, but are often found in legal documents. As in the sciences,
Latin words and expressions are also found in the field of law, for the same reason. The sentences
in legal documents are sometimes very long and do not necessarily follow the conventions of
punctuation that we accept in academic writing in other areas. All of these characteristics add
up to a very formal prose to the point of seeming unnatural in comparison to other types of
academic prose.
Application: The Law

Identify the specific characteristics that make the following passage recognisable as the language
of the law:
Reserving nevertheless to the Mortgagee and the Vendor their respective
executors administrators successors and assigns mortgagee or owner or owners
for the time being of the several other lots of land forming part of the
said building estate and their respective tenants agents and servants and
all other persons authorised by them or either of them the same and similar
rights of way and licences at all times by day and by night over along and
under the portions or areas of the said road reserves (including carriageways)
included in the areas of the said lot or parcel of land first hereby assured
and the parcel of land secondly hereinbefore described as are hereinbefore
granted to the Purchaser her heirs and assigns over along and under the area
of the said road reserves (including carriageways) delineated and shown on
the said Key Plan and not included in the areas of either the said lot or
parcel of land first hereby assured or the parcel of land secondly hereinbefore
described And all ways rights of way trees lights rights easements privileges
hereditaments and appurtenances whatsoever to the same belonging and being
or in anywise appertaining or usually held and enjoyed therewith And the
reversions remainders rents issues proceeds and profits thereof And all the
estate right title interest use trust possession property benefit claim and
demand whatsoever both at law and in equity of the Mortgagee and the Vendor
respectively of in to out of and from the same.
•
Academic Language in Business

While much of the written language in business concerns very practical matters and is often
rather informal and cannot be considered to be (strictly speaking) academic discourse, long
formal reports are often used as a management tool within businesses and follow the same
guidelines as reports within the other disciplines. They are required to be objective, to present
factual evidence, to be clear and complete. In addition to the general characteristics mentioned
above, however, reports in business need to be readable and the information in them needs
to be easily accessible. Because of this, they are usually full of graphic illustrations and sub-
headings within the text to breakup dense areas of text and, additionally in the case of sub-
headings, to allow the easy identification of specific information without having to reread the
whole document to find it. As in all the other areas, one will find the relevant jargon within
business reports. There is further discussion about the specifics of language use in all these areas
in Section Eight.
Application: Business
Comment on the characteristics of writing within the area of business found in the following
passage:
Reserve tranche subscription to IMF: As a consequence of the second amendment
of the Articles of Agreement of the IMF (April 1978) the gold tranche,
which is that 25% of a member’s quota in the IMF subscribed in gold or in
convertible currencies, was re-named the reserve tranche. Subscriptions can
now be made in the national currency, in SDRs or in the currency of other
members as determined by the Fund.
Barbados was given a quota of SDR 13.0 million on becoming a member of

the IMF in 1970. At that time only 15.4% of the quota (SDR 2.0 million)
was subscribed in convertible currencies, consequently the Fund’s holding
of Barbados dollars were 84.6% of quotas. As a result of the build-up of
foreign reserves in 1975, Government was required, under Article V of the IMF
Agreement, to repurchase the Fund’s holdings of Barbados dollars in excess
of 75% of quota. This obligation was discharged in November and the reserve
tranche in the IMF rose by SDR 1.237 million (BDS$3.1 million). The quota
was increased to SDR 17.0 million in 1978 and Government opted to make the
reserve tranche contribution in local currency.
(Source - Annual Report of “Balance of Payments of Barbados,” Central Bank of Barbados.)
•
ASSIGNMENT
Find samples of academic discourse from two of the areas discussed above and compare
and contrast the characteristics of the two passages, making sure to explain why particular
characteristics are typical of each specific area.

Brooks, Cleanth and Robert Penn Warren, Modern Rhetoric, New York: Harcourt, Brace &
Jovonavich, 1979.
Kennedy, X. J., and Dorothy M. Kennedy, The Bedford Guide for College Writers, Boston: St Martin’s
Press, 1990, 2008.
Section 4
Strategies for Written Discourse

Chapter 13: The Importance of Developing Your Writing Abilities
• Why is it important to learn to write well?
• Learn to write by writing
• What are the characteristics of good writing?
• Writing as process
Chapter 14: Having a Sense of Audience/Keeping Your

Readers in Mind
• Teacher as audience
• Why have an audience in mind?
• Adjusting to suit the audience
• Questions you can ask to get a clear idea of your audience
Chapter 15: Pre-writing/Invention Strategies

• Getting started - planning the writing task
• Brainstorming
• Free writing
• Grouping ideas: clustering and semantic maps
• Asking questions
Chapter 16: Writing – Strategies for Shaping the Draft

• Narrowing a subject and formulating a thesis statement
• Outlining
• Paragraphs
– The Topic Sentence
– Unity
– Coherence
– Ordering Ideas
– Transitions and Discourse Connectives
– Emphasis
– Completeness
– Beginning and Ending Paragraphs
Chapter 17: Rewriting Strategies

• Sharing
• Revising main or macroscopic elements
• Revising microscopic elements
• Proofreading and Editing
• A note on computers in revision

This section presents you with an overview of what is involved in the writing process. It describes
the stages through which you develop an essay or research paper from an idea to a polished
product. In addition, it presents a detailed discussion of strategies that you can use at each stage,
and checklists that you can apply when you review your work thereby helping you to become a
critical reader of your own writing and giving you the tools to become a more proficient writer
and editor.
Aims of the Section

Upon completion of this section we expect that you will be able to
1. explain in writing the steps involved in the writing process;
2. adjust your language and tone to suit the audience you have identified for your writing;
3. use the pre-writing strategies presented in this section to develop your ideas and plan
your essay or research paper;
4. write a clear thesis statement;
5. prepare a scratch outline;

Section 4
137
6. prepare a full formal outline
7. group your ideas into coherent paragraphs
8. use appropriate transitional and discourse connectives to link ideas within and between
paragraphs
9. write an evaluation of a classmate’s writing
10. apply checklists to a first draft of an essay to improve its content, organization,
development, diction, grammar and mechanics
11. use the rewriting strategies presented in this section to rewrite a polished version of an
essay
12. proofread and edit a piece of writing to eliminate its errors of language.
13
The
Writing in English Writ- ing in Importance
English Writing in English of Developing
Writing Your
in English Writing in EnglishWriting in
Writing
ing in English Writing in English Writing inAbilities
English Writing in English Writing in English Writing in Eng-
Why is it Important to Learn to Write Well?
Teacher Student Teacher
Dana, you need to revise Why? I’ve said all I wanted

this essay. It isn’t well to say. Besides I always tell
organised and you didn’t my students to write clean
do much research drafts to hand in by the
end of the lesson.
• Think about the comments of both speakers. If you were to give a response to the
student teacher. What would you say?
• Why do you think it is important to research a topic?
Some of you are probably asking, as did the student teacher, why it is necessary to take the
trouble to write more than one draft. The truth is that the first draft is only the beginning of the
writing process. Most of the work that will make a difference to your essay is done after you have
produced that first draft and you begin to revise it. It can be time consuming, but the benefits
are worth the effort. The following are some good reasons why you should learn to write well.
1. As a student at university you will need to do extended writing for some of the courses that you are
going to take. While most of the writing you will be asked to do is likely to be expository
or argumentative in nature, each academic discipline has special requirements and if
you become proficient in the forms of discourse they require, it will be easier for you to
achieve mastery of the particular writing demands of your discipline.
2. Your academic success depends on how well you can express your ideas in writing. You may be an
articulate speaker, but as we pointed out in Section Two Chapter 5, written discourse is
much more complex than spoken discourse and as a writer you need to pay attention
to several details that are taken for granted in spoken discourse. The formal written
discourse that you need for your academic work requires practice. Regardless of whether
your writing assignments call for only one short paragraph, you are still expected to
The Importance of Developing Your Writing Abilities 139
express your ideas clearly and organise them in the best way. If you are able to explain
a scientific concept clearly in language that is grammatical you are more likely to get a
better grade than someone else who may understand the concept but cannot present it
clearly and in the most appropriate sequence. As a scientist or an engineer you must be
as committed to developing your abilities as a writer as the student of the humanities is
expected to be.
3. Your ability to write well will also determine, to a very large extent, your success in your chosen profession
after you have graduated from university. Increasingly, employers are demanding good oral and
written communication skills of their employees, and someone who is unable to write a
good proposal for a project or a good business report is less likely to be promoted than
another employee who has these abilities.
4. Writing is one of the ways in which we can acquire knowledge although we rarely
consider that it has this function. If you think about it, you will realise that one of the
ways in which you can gain a deeper understanding of a text is by attempting to express
in writing what it is about, how it is organised, and what its main and subordinate ideas
are. Writing a summary of a text and writing your reactions in note form as you read
are ways of learning. You are forced to clarify your thinking about the material, and as
you review your notes on the text or as you write an analysis of it, you will find that you
remember more about the subject matter than if you had read through the material in a
passive way. When, as readers, we write down our responses to a text and ask ourselves
questions about it, we interact actively with the writer’s ideas and with the subject matter
of the text; this is an important form of learning. Your writing reflects you. If academic
and professional success depend on being able to write well, then it is important to
invest time in learning to become a proficient writer.
Learn to Write by Writing

To the students who ask us, “Can I learn to become a good writer?” we answer “Yes!” but
stress three things that are necessary in this regard. The first is you must be willing to receive guidance
through instruction. You can get instruction from your teacher or from a designated tutor online or
in discussion with your peers or working through self-directed material. Many of us often fall
in love with our ideas when we first set them down on the page and we are reluctant to change
them because we think it may be difficult to find a different way of expressing them. However,
an objective assessment of those ideas by a competent writer who may be either an instructor or
a peer can help us become aware of flaws in the organisation or the logic of the ideas. As you
read the critical comments your instructor makes and act on them, you will know what to look
for as you reread your work.
The second point is that you must be willing to practise writing. We learn to write by writing, and if
you want to become a good writer you must be willing to write often. The third point we stress
is that you must be willing to revise your writing as often as necessary to produce a good final draft.
Professional writers cite revision as one of the more important steps of the writing process. It is
rare even for professional writers to produce a perfect first draft in entirety. Good writers revise
to produce a better finished product.
There are several strategies that you can learn to use in order to improve your writing. We will
explore these strategies in Chapter 15. Try to remember the importance of making good use
of the feedback you receive from your instructor, practising to write and revising your writing.
What are the Characteristics of Good Writing?

When writers revise their work they do so with some notions as to what constitutes good
writing, and they strive to incorporate those characteristics in their writing. As you begin to
work more independently, you will need to be able to distinguish the difference between good
writing and poor writing. A good writer is usually also a good reader with a heightened critical
awareness. Good writing is clear, intelligible, sincere, unpretentious and free of error. Writing
that is clear presents the writer’s ideas in words that convey the desired meanings. The sentences
are well-formed, there is a logical relationship between the clauses in a sentence and between
the sentences. Intelligible writing is comprehensible; it makes good sense and is accessible to
the reader. In writing that is sincere the writer’s voice is identifiable and the reader has the
impression that the writer is aware of the audience for whom the writing is intended. The
diction of unpretentious writing is clear. Carefully revised and edited writing is usually well
organised and errors of grammar, spelling and punctuation are few or non-existent. The reader
derives some satisfaction from the writing, even though the ideas may be provocative and the
reader may disagree with the writer’s perspective.
Writing as a Process
How can a writer achieve these effects? We have already stressed the importance of practice and
the need for the writer to revise carefully. We now need to consider what practising and revising
involve. Practising and revising can be thought of as a series of steps that can assist the writer at
different stages of writing. These steps constitute a process which is referred to in the literature
as the writing process. Although it is usually neatly outlined in most texts on writing as a sequence
of stages, writers can adapt the process to their own needs. The process has three main stages:
(a) prewriting, (b) writing or drafting, and (c) rewriting. We will outline these stages briefly here
and in Chapters 15, 16 and 17 we will present a more detailed discussion of the strategies you
can use in these stages to help you to become a better writer.
(a) Pre-writing
Pre-writing includes all the activities that
are associated with planning the writing The process approach is one of many methods that
assignment. These are (i) selection of a topic, are used to teach writing. Unlike some methods
that focus on producing a finished piece without
(ii) delimiting or narrowing the topic, (iii)
working through drafts, the process approach
considering questions related to purpose and allows the writer to pay attention to every stage of
audience, (iv) generating ideas for writing, the development of a paper from generating ideas
and (v) making preliminary decisions about to producing a fair copy. It is learning by doing,
and there are several strategies that you can use to
organisation. If you allow yourself enough facilitate writing. The process is usually described
time before your paper is due, you should as consisting of three stages: prewriting, writing
prepare a rough draft and set it aside for a few and rewriting, and the text books usually present
days. When you return to it to revise and edit the activities that happen at these three stages
sequentially. However, the process is more recursive
it, you will be able to do so with a critical eye. rather than linear.
(b) Writing
Writing or drafting involves putting your ideas down on paper. Even though you may have taken
the trouble to organise your points in a full formal outline or by using clustering or a semantic
map during the prewriting stage, several new ideas may emerge as you begin to write and you
may want to include them. It is better to write freely at this stage, focusing on getting the ideas
down on paper, than to worry about a misspelled word or missing comma. You will spend some
considerable time editing and polishing the draft later on, and you can take care of problems of
mechanics as you prepare successive drafts. If you have planned your time carefully you will be
able to set aside your first draft as we suggested above.
Many teachers of writing stress the importance of comfort as one writes. Find out what works
best for you and cultivate an environment in which you can write freely and without disturbance.
Some people work better with soft background music while others prefer absolute quiet.
Individuals vary and there is no rule of thumb that you can apply. Find out the situations and
settings that are best suited to you and establish them when you have to write.
(c) Rewriting
Rewriting consists of (i) revising, (ii) proofreading and (iii) editing the drafts that you produce. As
you revise the first draft of your work, try to examine it as a critical reader would by determining
whether the ideas are well-organised, whether they are developed as fully as they ought to be,
whether there is internal logic within the sentences and between sentences in a paragraph, and
whether you have provided all the information that is needed to make your subject clear to the
reader. At this stage you can use checklists that will help you to become a better critic of your
own work. These checklists help you to examine your writing in the light of a series of questions
that focus on significant aspects of development. The following are examples.
• Have I presented all the information that is necessary for my readers to understand
the message I want to convey?
• Have I included sufficient supporting details to make the main points clear?
• Did I organise my ideas well and present them in the best sequence?
As you ask each question, focus on the relevant areas of the essay to which it applies. Identify
weaknesses and revise the draft accordingly. At the revision stage, focus first on the larger issues
related to content, the soundness of the ideas, the paragraph organisation and the links between
paragraphs. Later, you can return to the writing and focus on the nuts and bolts of language such
as the sentence structure and grammar. During the editing stage you can pay special attention
to matters related to the correctness of spelling and mechanics although you will probably have
already begun to make these corrections at an earlier stage. Although we suggest that you focus
on the global macroscopic elements first and then proofread and edit the paper carefully to
improve the diction, correct the spelling errors and clean up the typographical errors, you will
find yourself making adjustments to idiom, sentence structure and grammar even as you work
on the macroscopic elements of the paper. If you get into the habit of revising your work in
this way, you will begin to find it hard to ignore an error or leave a badly constructed sentence
unchanged once you detect it. The important point is that by attempting to focus on specific
elements of the writing, you train yourself to be a critical reader, and you fine hone your writing
skills at the same time. By the time you are ready to submit the final draft to your instructor, you
should have done a thorough job of revising, editing and proofreading to present the best effort
of which you are capable at that point in time.
Application: Developing Writing Abilities

1. Think about the kinds of writing that you are required to do and consider each of the
following questions, jotting down your thoughts (responses) to each one. What kind of
writing (essays, poetry, fiction, journal, etc.) do you enjoy doing? Do you enjoy some
kinds more than others? Why? What are some of the things that you do well when you
write? What things give you trouble? What are your reactions when you are given writing
assignments as part of your course work?
2. Based on the ideas you have jotted down, prepare a first draft of a short essay in which
you express your attitude to writing. Give your reader some idea of what you consider
to be your strengths and weaknesses and discuss your response to academic writing tasks
in particular.
3. Do you agree with the view expressed in this chapter, namely, that writing is essential to
academic success and to success in some professions? Discuss your views with a group
of students. Be sure to indicate whether or not you think good writing skills will be an
advantage in the particular career that you have chosen.
4. Form small groups of four or five and compare your experiences with writing in
secondary school. In what ways were your experiences different from those of other
people in your group? In what ways were they different from those listed in this chapter
as being important parts of the process of learning to write well?
•
14
Having
Writing in English Writ- ing in a Sense
English Writing in Englishof Audience/Keeping
Your
ing in English Writing in English Reader
Writing in Mind
in English Writing in English Writing in English Writing in Eng-
Teacher as audience?
Student Teacher
No one else is going to read

this. Why do I have to go Think about someone or
through all this trouble? What a group who may want to
do you want me to write? read your essay and shape it
with them in mind.
The student in the cartoon may not have taken a writing course and probably does not
understand the word audience to mean reader(s) of your work. Some students assume that because
an assignment was given by a particular teacher that teacher is the sole audience, and they try to
tailor their writing to what they believe the teacher wants them to write. A few may even ask the
teacher ‘What do you want me to write? What are you looking for?’ in the hope that the teacher
will provide them with a blueprint for content and ideas, and usually the teacher will indicate the
particular audience for which the paper is intended. Writing without a clear sense of audience
can result in dull prose. Your audience is the reader or readers of your writing. If you constantly
use the teacher as the audience for your writing this can also lead to passionless prose and to
sameness of expression because you are less likely to make the adjustments to tone, language,
register and diction that become necessary if you imagined different readers for your work.
It is difficult to think of a situation in which one would write without a reader in mind. Even
though we may not think of a particular individual or individuals, we often have some general
notions about those who will be reading our work. If you are writing for a newspaper or
magazine, for example, you probably will not have one particular individual in mind, but you will
have a sense of a generalised audience based on the readerhsip of the particular newspaper or
magazine to which you intend to submit your writing. You pitch the content and tone of the
article for that imagined audience about whom you have formed certain assumptions.
Some teachers of writing suggest that when you write it is a good thing to think of yourself
as a teacher writing for an audience who knows a little less than you do about the subject. In
Having a Sense of Audience/Keeping Your Writing Abilities 145
such a case you are likely to exercise greater care with your expression and the information you
select for presentation. Your task will be easier if a specific audience is indicated in the writing
assignment. All you need to do in that case is to select the appropriate level of formality, and
make adjustments to tone, diction and language based on your assumptions about the audience.
It is difficult to write in a vacuum, and even inexperienced writers are not likely to do so. When
we are not writing for ourselves, we usually have in mind some other(s) whom we imagine as
reader(s). It is important to always imagine a reader for your work even though you imagine only
an idealised reader.
Why Have an Audience in Mind?

Even when you write for yourself, you write because you have something to say and you want to
record it for later use. Sometimes we write just for ourselves in journals or when we write poetry
that we do not wish to share. More often we write because we want to share our ideas with
others. When you write with an audience in mind, you are better able to make decisions about
the scope of your subject, the amount of information you need to include and the language
you should use. You are also more likely to pay attention to being informative and clear. In
Section One we discussed the differences between speech and writing. In spoken discourse we
are interacting with another person who is present and we take several things for granted that
we cannot when we write. We make adjustments while speaking to ensure that our message is
understood. We rely on gesture and kinesics in conveying our message and we depend less on
the completeness of language. In writing, on the other hand, our audience is not immediately
present so we have a special responsibility to express ourselves clearly and to provide sufficient
details so that the reader can understand the message. Writing personal letters is closer to a well-
managed speech situation. However, writing for academic purposes is different from writing
personal letters and you will have to be concerned with all the complexities of formal writing
to ensure that your language is complete, that is, not fragmented, and that you present sufficient
details to allow your message to be understood by an audience who must rely on your writing
for meaning and clarification.
Adjusting to Suit the Audience

We make choices about the language we use based on the audience for whom our writing is
intended, on our attitudes towards that audience and the subject matter of our discourse. As a
university student in a writing class you will be expected to imagine a general audience which is
one that consists of educated people who have varied interests. The tone, diction and complexity
of the language you will use for an audience such as this will be similar to the language one finds
in introductory texts about special subjects. As a student in one of the specialised disciplines
such as linguistics, for example, you will be expected to have in mind an audience that consists of
people who know a great deal about the subject, and this will require an adjustment of language
that includes technical terminology and particularised information that a lay person might
consider esoteric. As an example, compare the two following explanations of the classification
of morphemes. The first excerpt is intended for an initiated audience, while the second comes
from an introductory text and is directed at a less expert (more general) audience than the first.
I. The distinction
between derivational and
inflectional morphology,
which must be treated in
As a student at university you are in some ways any book on morphology,
expected to address a “wide” audience. Your is seen as a gradual
history paper, your English literature essay, rather than a discrete
distinction, the basis of
your biology report will each be addressed to a
which is relevance, the same
different audience. Each discipline has certain principle that can be used
expectations about purpose, tone and style. The to predict differences among
disciplines have specialised audiences who have inflectional categories.
specific expectations in writing. This means that That is, all morphological
you must know what the specific requirements of categories must be high in
relevance, but differences
each are, what are the idiosyncracies of expression
in degrees of relevance
and how evidence should be presented and data yield the derivational/
incorporated into the paper. When you pay attention inflectional distinction,
to these matters, you, like the professional writer, as well as the hierarchical
are attempting to please the audience. relations within these two
broad types. Two other
factors are identified
as important to the
derivational/inflectional distinction: the first is the necessity that
inflections have full generality of applicability to lexical items of the
appropriate class. The various causes of the lack of complete generality
among derivational morphemes can be attributed to their meanings. At the
same time, the necessity of full generality puts certain constraints on
content of inflectional categories. The final contributing factor is the
amount of semantic change made by the application of the affix to the
greater radical: the greater the difference between the meanings of the
derived word and the meaning of the base, the greater the likelihood that
the affix is derivational.
(Source - Joan Bybee, Morphology, John Benjamins Publishing Company, 1985.)
II.
The classification of morphemes as derivational morphemes is usually
made to distinguish them from those known as inflectional morphemes.
Inflectional morphemes never change the grammatical category of the words
to which they are applied. Their addition to words is dictated by the
Having a Sense of Audience/Keeping Your Writing Abilities 147
syntactic rules of the language. The plural morpheme is inflectional. It

does not change grammatical class, nor does the past-tense morpheme. Thus
boys may be segmented into two morphemes boy + plural, and jumped into
jump + past. Other inflectional morphemes are the -er of comparison (big/
bigger) and the -est of superlative (big/biggest). Clearly in talking of
such morphemes, we are using the notion of morphemes in a broad sense to
include what may be called grammatical meaning.
(Source - Victoria Fromkin and Rodman Fromkin, Introduction to Language, New York: Holt,
Rinehart & Winston, 1974.)
Because you will be shaping the writing to meet the needs of a specified audience, it is important
to keep that audience in mind as you write.
Application: Keeping Your Readers in Mind

1. Reread the two extracts on the morpheme. Describe the differences that indicate the
audiences that writers are considering.
2. Consider a situation in which you and a classmate are in the library searching through
the index catalogue. Your classmate seems distracted and begins to tear the cards in
the catalogue into small pieces. S/He destroys an entire drawer of cards before you
can stop him/her. Imagine that you have to write to the Chief Librarian, the Dean and
your classmate’s parents about this incident, and you also decide to write to another
classmate who is a mutual friend and who is away to tell him or her about the incident.
In what ways do you think your accounts will differ? Write the opening paragraph of the
versions of the account then reread and compare the adjustments you made in respect
of the different audiences.
Questions You Can Ask to Get a Clear Idea of Your

•
Audience
You can ask yourself several questions about your audience and about your writing in relation to
that audience at different stages of composing to help you maintain control over content, tone
and level of formality. For example, after you have selected a topic you will need to determine
what and how much information your audience will need about the subject. If you assume that
you and your readers share a common background of knowledge about some aspects of the
topic, you will need to decide whether it is worthwhile repeating the known information. You
can draw up a checklist of questions that will help you to remember the important points that
you need to consider as you write for a specific audience.
In our discussion on rewriting in Chapter 13 of this section, we have included three sample
questions that you might find on a checklist for revising a first draft of an essay. The information
presented in the foregoing paragraph focuses on the issues with which you will be concerned at
the stage of prewriting. These can be rephrased as follows.
• How much is my audience likely to know about this topic?

• What aspect(s) of this subject might the readers of my essay want to know more about?
Asking yourself directed questions about your audience, your material and your own attitudes
towards these will help you to remain focused on your task.
Application: Audience
Reread the paragraphs on pre-writing, writing and rewriting in Chapter 13 and draw up three
separate checklists consisting of questions that focus on the essential elements of the writing
task that you need to consider. Decide whether your document is for a generalised or a specialised
audience and then formulate the questions with the audience you have chosen in mind.
•
15
Writing inPre-writing/Invention
English Writing in English Writing in Strategies
EnglishWriting in English WritingWriting in English Writ-
Getting Started – Planning the Writing Task

For many people, getting started with a writing assignment is the most difficult stage of the
process. If you are asked to write about a topic that is not of your own choosing you may be
worried about the approach you should take, the audience to whom you should direct it and
what you should say. We often hear comments like the following when we assign writing tasks
to students. “I don’t know what to write.” “Just how much information do you want me to
include?” “What exactly are you looking for?” “Should I do extensive research on this?” Most
writers will sometimes ask themselves these questions because the content, type of discourse,
scope of treatment of the subject, attitude to the subject all depend on the ways in which
we answer these questions. Getting started may not be a straightforward matter, but you can
minimise your perplexity about a writing assignment if you have a plan for getting started and if
you use one or more strategies to help you begin to write down your ideas about the subject. If
you are aware of even a few of the strategies that writers use at the stage of invention or generating
ideas you will find that getting started can be just as interesting as the other stages of writing, and
you will be better equipped to work out a plan to help you through the drafting of your paper.
Planning the task involves finding some initial answers to questions like the ones in the previous
paragraph about the assignment. The following are examples.
• How should I approach this topic?

• On which aspect(s) of it should I focus?
• How much do I know about this subject?
• Do I need to do some extra reading about it?
• Just how much reading do I need to do?
• For whom am I going to write this paper?
• What form of discourse should I use?
Making conscious decisions in response to questions like these can mean the difference between
the production of a well thought out, well-researched paper and one that is superficial in the
treatment of subject. The strategies that we outline in this chapter are intended to help you
to make better plans for your writing and to begin to write without wasting too much time
pondering how you should get started.
Brainstorming
We usually think about brainstorming as a group activity, but it can be just as successful when
done by an individual. This invention strategy is useful to the writer who may want to narrow
a subject or find an interesting angle from which to write about the subject. The procedure is
simple; you begin with a topic if you have one, or with a key idea related to that topic; jot down
in the form of a list all the ideas that come to your mind about the topic. This involves making
associations between the idea and others that emerge from your prior knowledge about the
subject, or from your imagination. Your effort may be more productive if you give yourself a
limited time for this activity – about ten minutes – then take a break before you review the list.
From the list select those ideas that kindle your interest and that seem promising for further
development. You can begin the process of brainstorming successively over the ideas that you
want to develop further. You can then group those ideas and begin to flesh them out and
organise them as you shape the first draft of your paper. Some writers first ask questions that
come to mind about the topic or the key idea and then list the answers that they come up with
in the process of brainstorming.
A student whom we will simply call Amanda J. selected the topic euthanasia to write an 800-word
essay for a writing class. She had recently read a series of articles on the subject in a special issue
of The Economist and she thought that she knew a great deal about it. She began to write the
essay directly but found herself rambling over a wide range of ideas, and she was having some
difficulty pulling the information together in a coherent fashion. Amanda decided to use the
brainstorming strategy to narrow her topic. This was the result of her brainstorming.
Is euthenasia Amanda’s Thought Process • We have Kevorkian as

a form of an example. Does he
murder? • It’s compassionate killing; have a point?
it must be an extenuating
circumstance.
Got it. • Is this different from
Cases are murder?
• Country Perspectives
the clues! • Strong resistance in
the USA
• Canada allows it –
Pro argument – reformed some laws.
Moral and ethical issues • Other countries also
an end to pain
• Individual cases – some instituted reforms
patients asked for death Con argument – • Why possible in some
• What happens to families? No human being countries & not
others.
• Difficult decision – what has the right
• Cases influenced
determines it? to take the
decisions in some
• Perhaps love? life of another places.
• Perhaps not wanting to care for any reason. • Definitely opposing
for a vegetable? views on the issue.
Pre-writing/Invention Strategies 151
She jotted the ideas she had and when she reviewed her notes, Amanda underlined the points she
had made about reform. She brainstormed about them further and came up with the following
title which gave her some direction for her essay. “Euthanasia: the Cases That Effected Change.”
Application: Brainstorming
1. Select one of the topics listed and, using the brainstorming strategy, find a focus for the
topic to enable you to write an essay of approximately 800 words.
(a) Genetic engineering
(b) Caribbean integration
(c) Overpopulation
2. Work in pairs on this exercise. Together, decide on a topic from those listed below.
Brainstorm on your own for a few minutes then compare the list of ideas that each
person generated. Agree on one item from the list – be sure to choose a topic in which
you are both interested – and brainstorm together on that item for a few more minutes.
Using the list of ideas that you generated from the second brainstorming session write
a short essay on your own. Read each other’s essay and compare it with your own to
determine how they differ in terms of content and development. Note especially whether
either of you added any further ideas that were not on the original list.
Topics:
(a) Modern fashions
(b) The changing roles of the sexes
(c) AIDS
Freewriting
•
Like brainstorming, freewriting is another invention technique that can help you to unlock ideas
for a subject which initially you may think you know nothing about. Freewriting is therefore one
way of eliminating writer’s block. It is a strategy that individuals use on their own. When you
are given an assignment but no specific topic and you have difficulty finding something to write
about, you can use the strategy of freewriting to help you focus on a topic.
Freewriting is like brainstorming in some ways, but it is more focused in the sense that it allows
you to get a clear idea of the subject. As the name implies, freewriting involves a period of
uninterrupted writing during which the writer pays no attention to the other aspects of writing
with which writers are normally concerned. The descriptions of freewriting that you will find in
most texts are similar; they differ only in very minor details. The procedure that we describe here
in the following application is one that you will find useful when you want to decide on a subject
for your paper; it is also useful for generating further ideas about the subject. The only way that
you will be able to appreciate how freewriting works is to actually do it. When you try to use it
you will discover whether it is a strategy that can work for you.
Application: Freewriting
Select one of the topics from the previous exercise or (choose a different one) and use it as a
basis for working through the following application of freewriting. First, read the description of
the procedure from beginning to end to find out what you need to do; then follow the directions
to (a) develop a specific focus for the topic you have chosen and (b) to generate further ideas
on the topic.
Procedure:
1. With the topic you have chosen in mind, write for 10 to 15 minutes without stopping.
If you don’t know where to begin, write down the topic and proceed to write down
everything that comes into your mind. If you cannot think of something to say, write
that down. Let us suppose you selected the topic AIDS and you didn’t know what to
write; you might begin with something like this: AIDS… I can’t think of anything to say
about AIDS… - and proceed to write down whatever comes into your mind next. The
main point is to write without stopping.
2. After writing for the time you have set yourself (i.e. 10-15 minutes), stop and read over
what you wrote. Look for any ideas that seem promising as a topic, that is, any idea that
begins to suggest a particular focus for the topic AIDS.
3. Delete all the ideas you think are useless; go over the promising ones and with these in
mind you can begin the process of freewriting once again. This time you can start with
one of the ideas that you think is promising. Set yourself another ten to fifteen minute
period for uninterrupted writing. Do not stop at all during that time; jot down all the
ideas that come into your mind.
You may go through this procedure two or three times. After each period of writing sort
out the ideas that you have written down to find out whether you have begun to develop
a particular line of thought.
4. When you have ideas that seem to suggest a particular focus, group them; you may
choose to freewrite to generate further ideas at this point, but you may prefer to develop
these ideas systematically. This can be done in several ways; for example, you can begin
to ask yourself specific questions about the points that you have listed, and jot down
the answers that come to mind. Some of the reporter’s questions (who, what, when,
where, why) may be useful in helping you to discover what you need to find out about
the subject and also how you might develop the ideas.
It is important to remember that the writing you do when you use the strategy of freewriting is
for yourself. You are not writing to communicate these ideas to anyone at that stage. However,
once you have a clear subject and some ideas about it written down, you can shape and develop
these ideas deliberately with an audience in mind.
Now – try to apply the procedure using the topic you have selected.
Clustering
•
Clustering is a strategy that can be used both to generate ideas and organise them once you have
written them down. This strategy is more systematic than the other two that have been discussed
thus far. If you have a topic but you cannot think of how to begin, clustering will work as well
as the other two. As an invention strategy it can be used in conjunction with brainstorming to
generate ideas, and it imposes order at the stage of grouping ideas. We present the strategy as a
series of steps.
(1) On a blank page write down the topic for the essay in one word or as a phrase and
circle it.
(2) Brainstorm about the topic, jotting down the ideas that come to mind.
(3) After you have jotted down as many ideas as you can, circle the ones that seem most
promising and interesting. At this stage you may group the points that seem related or
draw lines between them to show that there is a link. You may brainstorm further about
the relationship between the ideas that you have linked or grouped.
(4) Brainstorm about the ideas that you circled, and make clusters around each one.
This procedure results in the development of a network of main and subordinate ideas in your
cluster which can form the basis for the different paragraphs of your essay. As you look at
the clustered ideas you can see at a glance those areas that are scant and need to be developed
further. You can tag these clusters as areas for which you need to do research. It is possible to
add several networks of clusters on one sheet or you can select those that you want to pursue,
put them on a new page and begin the process over again.
An alternative approach is first to determine what the main subdivisions of the topic are. Write
those down, drawing circles around them; next begin to brainstorm about each one and build
clusters around each. This procedure will work well if you already have some specific ideas about
the topic.
Suppose that the student Amanda had chosen clustering as the invention strategy that she would
use to generate ideas for the topic euthanasia. What might her initial attempts have produced?
Using the notes that Amanda produced from brainstorming as definite ideas she had about the
topic, we can use clustering to develop these ideas further. Figure 1 shows one possible outcome.
Figure 1: Semantic Mapping
Personal Inﬂuences on
Choice A form Legal in some legal systems
of murder countries
Legal Illegal in
Issues others
Some cases are
extenuating
Euthanasia
Views of
Moral Medical science
Issues
Ethical
Issues Dr Kervorskian’s
Mission
For assignments that require a significant amount of information, clustering works well as a
graphic for setting out the information at the planning stage; it also allows for experimentation
with different ways of developing a writing task.
Semantic mapping is a form of clustering. This strategy allows you to use prior knowledge to further
your understanding of new subject matter. Although semantic mapping has been developed
primarily as a vocabulary and reading strategy, it is useful as a prewriting strategy and can be
an effective way of organising ideas for a critical essay or book report. If you were planning to
write a book review, for example, you could activate your prior knowledge about text structure
and use a semantic map to make associations between that structure and details of the text and
the relationships between them. For example, a map for the structure of a novel might look
something like the representation in Figure 2. The map presents only the general text structure,
and the writer will have to fill in the details specific to the particular text being discussed. Each
writer will develop different clusters based on his or her interpretations of the text and the
details that are incorporated on the map. However, one expects that accurate analyses of texts
will result in maps that are similar. Despite this, the strategy does not constrain writers to a
predetermined format for writing. The essays produced by individual writers will bear the stamp
of their distinctive styles: they will vary in tone, diction, argumentation and other features and
the texture of the prose will reflect each writer’s characteristics.
Figure 2: Structure of a Novel
1
Introduction I
I Action
structure
w Rising action •
• 1
L J Climax •
1
Setting 1 For Whom The
• 1
I I Bell Tolls
Situation 1 1 Characters 1
\
1
001 Themes 1 1
1
Denouement
Techniques
1
You can manipulate any of the features of structure, omit those that are not relevant, add
1 I: 1
relevant ones and so on. However, your prior knowledge of the text will determine the wealth
of ideas that will be included and the details of the text that will be added. Other individual
characteristics will determine the product, that is, whether the texture of the writing is rich or
pedestrian. However, the average writer stands a better chance of producing work that is better
organised with the use of invention strategies.
Application: Clustering
1. Look at Figure 1. Based on the topic that Amanda finally selected, indicate those clusters
on which you think she was more likely to focus. Based on the notes from her first
freewriting application, indicate which of the clusters and relationships she would have
had to develop further.
2. Select one of the other topics presented in this chapter – you should choose one that
you have not previously discussed. Using the strategy of clustering in conjunction with
brainstorming, generate and group ideas for an essay on it.
3. Select a text from one of your courses and draw a semantic map that you can use as a
basis for analysing that text and writing a review of it. Fill in the details particular to the
text under the general captions. You will need a long sheet of paper for this.
4. Cluster ideas around the topic Caribbean Integration. From the first set of clusters that you
have generated select one idea in which you are interested and which seems promising
for further development. Build another set of clusters around that idea. Select one idea
from the second set and build a third set of clusters. From this third set group ideas as
you would if you were going to write the essay.
Asking Questions
•
In any text on writing you are likely to find a chapter on the use of questions as an invention
strategy. A good writer asks questions at all stages of the writing process, but questioning is
an effective tool for getting started on a writing assignment. In Chapter 14 we have already
examined questions that writers can ask to get a better sense of audience. The questions you ask
about your intended audience also help you to gain a clearer idea of how you might develop the
essay or paper.
As part of their training, journalists are taught to use six questions as a means of helping them
follow through on stories and for checking the stories later on to determine whether they have
included all the relevant details. The journalist’s questions are: (i) who (ii) what (iii) when (iv)
where (v) why and (vi) how.
Let us suppose that the student Amanda wanted to use the journalistic questions as an invention
strategy for the topic euthanasia. What are some of the questions she might have asked? The
following are some suggestions.
• What is euthanasia?
• Why has it become a popular option in recent times?
• Why are some countries opposed to it and others permit it?
• What are the prevailing views on the subject in the medical profession?
• What landmark cases have been heard in the courts of law?
• What were the judicial rulings on these cases?
• What are some of the moral and ethical issues involved?
• Who decides on the methods chosen? Are some methods more “merciful” than others?
• Why did Dr Kevorkian do it? What did he get out of it?
• How do the families of the patients/victims feel?
• What views did Dr. Kevorkian express on the subject?

• Are there other views that support Dr. Kevorkian’s position?
• Do my own opinions differ? In what ways?
Most of the questions will only result in the production of a skeleton of an essay. However, some
will lead you to generate substantial ideas which you can then follow up with additional research.
Asking questions either in the simple form of the journalistic questions or in the slightly more
complex form of the pentad (see the cameo on writing which follows) is a productive way of
accessing ideas for writing. There are several other questions that can be asked about the topic
euthanasia. Can you generate some additional ones?
The Pentad and the Classical Method as Invention Strategies

The pentad is a heuristic developed by Kenneth Burke, a critic and philosopher.
Kennedy and Kennedy (1990:481) present an outline of this heuristic as
developed by Burke. He illustrated how a modification of the journalistic
questions can help readers/writers to arrive at a better understanding of
any human act. The five questions are: (i) What was done? (ii) Who did it?
(iii) By what means did the actor make it happen? (iv)Where and when did
it happen, and what were the circumstances in which it happened? (v) What
possible motives did the person have? Burke named five components of the act
that correspond to these questions; they are: (i) The act – what happened,
what was done (ii) The actor-who acted, (iii) The agency – what instrument
or means did the actor use to make the act happen, (iv) the scene – where the
act took place, when and in what circumstances (v) the purpose – what were
the motives for the action. Kennedy and Kennedy explain that by combining
these components in different ways (10 combinations are possible) one can see
how each affects the other thereby leading to a deeper analysis of motives.
For instance, a combination like actor to purpose would allow the reader/
writer to probe the reasons for the actor’s actions; another like actor to
scene would lead to a probing of the connections of the actor to the scene of
the action. Finding answers to the questions generated from the combinations
presented in the pentad heuristic allows a writer to begin writing almost
immediately.
The classical method refers to the use of definition, comparison, relation and
testimony, rhetorical devices that were used by the ancient Greeks and Romans
to analyse a topic. These devices are discussed in connection with expository
discourse as ways of developing paragraphs. As an invention strategy the
classical method allows the writer to ask questions about the subject during
the planning and drafting stages, and the answers result in ideas about the
subject that are used to develop the paper. Definition is concerned with what
a thing is; it also indicates the limits of application of the word (or topic
in this case). In order to define something one must know something about it;
the process of defining leads to knowledge about the subject, and the person
who is defining is able to clarify his or her thinking about the subject. In
this way, the writer, in the process of defining the subject, extends his or
her knowledge about it, and discovers ideas for writing. As a strategy that
is used in invention, comparison helps the writer to get a clear idea of the
subject through the indication of the ways in which the subject is similar
to or different from something else. Relation has to do with the relationship
of the subject to others. Exploring these relationships allows the writer to
see the connections between the subject and other relevant events. The last
device, testimony, is relevant to any kind of inquiry. If you are writing a
historical essay, or if you simply want to purchase a commodity, you rely
on testimony to help you assess the facts of a situation or the worth of
the object. When we apply testimony as a means of analysing a subject, we
are concerned with finding out whether anything has been said or written
about the subject; we want to find out the current thinking about it, and
we also want to assess our own views in the light of those that exist. As
we think about these things, we try to arrive at an understanding of our
own viewpoint in the light of what we have discovered about the subject.
We generate substantial ideas about it and these contribute to the content
of the paper. Using the rhetorical devices will involve asking a series of
questions about the subject very much like those questions we considered
earlier in this chapter. We will discuss these devices in Section Five in
expository discourse.
(Source - Lennedy, X.J. Dorothy M. Kennedy, Marcia F. Muth, Sylvia A. Halladay. The Bedford
Guide for College Writers, Boston: St Martin’s Press. )
ASSIGNMENT: Asking Questions

1. Read the following article on Cuban art by Tina Spiro. Using the journalist’s questions,
see whether you can generate answers that will provide you with a framework for
developing a critical commentary on Spiro’s article. For instance, you can begin with
a question like: “What led Spiro to write this article?” Ask relevant questions about (a)
the text (b) the writer’s purpose (c) the reasons, opinions and arguments presented by
the writer (d) what the writer means by certain words/phrases as you read through the
article and try to answer the questions. They should provide you with a nucleus of ideas
for your commentary.
Cuban Art from Ashes
Contemporary Cuban Art seems to be defying gravity. While the society is

sinking, literally and figuratively, the art work is taking wing, indeed
soaring. How can Cuba in its depths of decline generate such a high
quality and inspirational art movement?
There is, first of all, a tremendous commitment on the part of the Cuban
Government to the arts, which is being sustained even in this time of
hunger and hardship. The most fundamental and extensive commitment is
in the area of art education, with 21 art schools to a population of 11
million people. Art education and marketing are organized regionally,
with at least one art school to each province.
The Cuban Art educational system is both traditional and modern, with
fundamental classical drawing and painting techniques at the heart of
the programmes. On attaining mastery of these skills, the artists are
encouraged to depart on experiments in expression to the extent of their
imaginations. As a result, most Cuban artwork regardless of its style is
informed by a precision of line and a beautiful technical finish.
Upon matriculation from art school, the artists receive the support of
the Cuban Cultural Fund in marketing and presenting their work to the
public. The Cuban “Fondo”, as it is called, is also organized regionally
by province and offers gallery exhibitions, cataloguing services, shipping
and transportation and critical analysis by in-house or independent
“criticos”.
At present, the Cuban Fondo is seeking to transform itself into a more

market-oriented entity, but is still poorly informed regarding international
art market practices. Still, it provides essential experience to the
artists in professional behaviour and art marketing. This high degree
of professionalism, coupled with prolific, high quality art work, is
giving Cuba a prominent place in world art despite the country’s dire
circumstances.
Some may think this is polishing the brass while the ship is sinking.
“Ars Longam Vita brevis”, must surely be the motto of contemporary Cuban
art. But the truth is art does endure long past the events of its day,
and remains a testimony to its era. Much of current Cuban art subtly (or
not so subtly) criticizes and exposes the follies of its socio-political
environment, but also translates these events into universal statements
of the irony in human existence.
This artistic dissent is not censored in Cuba, the result of long-standing

policies established by the Cuban Government. The Minister of Culture has
maintained this policy throughout his lengthy tenure from the revolution
to the present day.
So, the magic ingredients of a cultural Renaissance reveal themselves

to be long-term planning and policies; widely available, high quality
artistic training; post matriculation professional support and artistic
freedom.

The other Caribbean Nations would do well to analyze and adopt these
aspects of the Cuban model that have surfaced and flourished under the
worst of circumstances. Imagine what could be achieved for Caribbean Art
under less punitive conditions!
(Source -Tina Spiro, Caribbean Week, 6,1995, p. 41.)
2. The Kennedys (1990:482) present a set of ten combinations based on Burke’s method.
These are:
(a) actor to act
(b) actor to scene
(c) actor to agency
(d) actor to purpose
(e) act to scene
(f) act to agency
(g) act to purpose
(h) scene to agency
(i) scene to purpose
(j) agency to purpose
Select a text which you are currently reading in a history or literature course and for each
combination listed, generate questions the answers to which should provide some analytical
insights about the text.
16
Writing inWriting Strategies
English Writing for
in English Writing Shaping inthe
in EnglishWriting English WritingWriting in English Writ-
in English Draft
Writing in English Writing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in Eng- ing in English Writing in
In this chapter we examine some of the strategies that writers use as they set about the task of
putting their thoughts down on paper. Some of the topics that we discuss, such as formulating
a thesis statement and outlining, are preparatory activities and are part of the planning of the
composition. They are activities that usually take place after a writer has generated ideas and
before drafting begins. In that sense, they are like bridging activities between invention and
extended drafting. For most writers, however, plans can change as the writing progresses –
thesis statements may be modified and outlines changed as writers gain new insights from the
writing that they do. For many writers drafting is a discovery process that sometimes results
in the modification of original plans. The strategies we focus on in this chapter are concerned
with ways of grouping ideas into coherent outlines, ways of developing paragraphs and creating
interesting beginnings and endings for essays.
Narrowing a Subject and Formulating a Thesis

Statement
Often the assignments that are given for courses are broad and need to be limited. The limit on
length that is given for the assignment can be taken as an indicator of how much information
you can include in your paper. Subjects like AIDS or euthanasia have several dimensions and it
would not be possible to cover either subject in sufficient depth in a 500 to 1000-word essay. A
writer would have to consider ways of limiting or narrowing the subject to find a topic that is
manageable in the assigned word limit.
We have seen in Chapter 15 how one might arrive at a specific topic at the stage of invention. If
you only generate ideas about the subject without attempting to find a particular focus, narrowing
the subject will have to be done afterwards. Some of the invention strategies lend themselves
to topic limitation also. One application of clustering, for example, is suited to that purpose.
This would involve an initial analysis of the subject, that is, an examination of all its parts. If
you decide on one aspect, you can then proceed to generate ideas about that aspect and develop
them into an essay. The point is, whether you decide to use one of the invention strategies or
not, you must still limit or narrow the subject.
Broad subjects require much more information and discussion; they must be organised carefully
and presented within the stipulated word limit. If the word limit is restricted to 500 words, it is
hardly likely that the subject will be covered in sufficient depth. Narrowing the subject allows you
to focus on a specific aspect (topic) and to examine and discuss it in some depth; this may also
help you to find an interesting angle on the subject. If you elect to write on a broad subject, you
are committing yourself to write about the different aspects of that subject (probably of wide
scope), and you will be expected to do so in the number of words indicated in the assignment.
Some lengthy assignments are given, for that reason, to allow you to present a discussion on the
several aspects of the subject. This will be different in scope and depth from the assignment
that requires you to focus on one subdivision of the subject and to discuss it in a detailed way.
It is not enough to narrow a topic for the sake of doing so. This is not a mechanical exercise,
but one that should engage the writer who is on a quest for a topic of interest. Writers may find
it difficult to interest an audience in a topic unless they themselves have a genuine interest in it.
The reader(s) of your work must feel that you are interested in and committed to what you are
doing and saying, and that you are writing honestly about the subject. Even as you engage in
the task of narrowing the subject, you need to think about your intended audience and of what
will interest them. Above all, however, you must have a genuine interest in the subject, as your
attitude to the subject is likely to reveal itself in your writing.
Narrowing a subject is a prerequisite to the formulation of a good thesis statement. In order to

have a strong, clear thesis, you must have a good, manageable topic that is interesting to you and
your audience. The thesis statement is an indicative statement of what the composition is about
(that is, it is the central idea of the composition), of the areas on which you will focus, and the
context(s) in which the central idea will be discussed. In this sense, the thesis statement gives a
summary of the composition and the main interests and emphases of the writer.
Application: Narrowing a Subject

The following are examples of broad subjects with corresponding narrow topics. Read through
the ones that have been completed and then narrow those subjects that follow by listing at least
three specific topics for each.
Broad Subject Narrow Topic
Euthanasia • Is euthanasia a matter of personal choice?
• The fight to transform a country’s laws on euthanasia.

Making euthanasia legal: the first step to crumbling
• ethics in the medical field.
• Can euthanasia be considered a form of murder?
• Euthanasia and one man’s mission to end suffering.
Writing Strategies for Shaping the Draft 163
Broad Subject Narrow Topic
AIDS • Fallen heroes: the plight of athletes afflicted by AIDS

• AIDS victims
• A patchwork quilt: celebrating the lives and deaths of

• Is AIDS just another in a series of sexually transmitted
diseases?
• The effects of AIDS on the newly born.
Before you limit the following broad topics read the excerpt Points to remember, which immediately
follows.
• University education • Caribbean integration

• The changing roles of the sexes • Banking in the 21st century
• The threat of terror • The technological revolution
Points to Remember When you Narrow a Subject

•
• find an interesting angle for the subject. This means you must analyse the subject, divide it into
its several components then find topics for each. Some of the topics you come up with
may not be good ones, that is, they may not lend themselves to interesting discussion.
Ask yourself: “How narrow can I get?” You want to establish a sufficiently broad scope
to allow you to present an interesting discussion about the subject;
• look for the built-in limits of the subject. Subjects have implicit and explicit limits. Find the
limits and then formulate the topics that are possible;
• focus on specifics of the subject (you can use a prewriting strategy as a discovery process for
the specifics).
As a central or controlling idea of the composition, the thesis will determine the ideas that
are incorporated into the essay (the content) and the way in which the ideas are presented
(the organisation). The thesis may not always be explicitly stated but if it is not, it must be
implied. Most of the assignments that university students are given require either expository
or argumentative forms of discourse, and it is useful to state the thesis explicitly in both these
forms of discourse. Other discourse types (like personal letters or the writing one does for
oneself in journals) do not need an explicit thesis.
In exposition and argument the thesis statement gives direction to the writing. It makes an
assertion which the writer must go on to explain or prove. The composition is going to be
judged on whether your expressed intent as presented in the thesis statement is achieved. If
the thesis is implied, it has to be clear to you and the reader. It must be clear to you because the
development of the essay in the direction that you wants it to go depends on the thesis. You
must keep it in mind because whether it is stated or implied it is the expression of your views on
the subject. Explicit theses usually come at the beginning or at the end of a composition. This is
a matter of the writer’s choice; regardless of where it appears, it has the important function of
enabling the reader to understand the central point of the composition.
How does one set about the task of formulating an appropriate thesis for a composition? Some
students are often not honest in stating a thesis because they are primarily concerned with
writing what they believe the teacher wants them to write; they believe that by doing so they will
get better grades so they suppress their thoughts on the subject and produce an essay that is
lacking in conviction. It is more important for writers to say what they think about the subject than to
say what they believe the teacher or other readers want them to say.
Originality is an ingredient of interesting writing. In formulating a thesis statement it is important

that you be original and try to find a fresh perspective on the subject. A good thesis statement is one that
provokes thought. Presenting statements that are superficial, emotionally charged or bizarre will
most likely alienate readers. Suppose an assignment is given on the subject family relationships,
how do you develop a specific topic and clear thesis statement from that subject for an essay of
approximately 800 words? A simple chart can allow you to set out the essential parts clearly and
arrive at an acceptable topic and thesis.
Topic Possible Subjects Notes
1. Family (a) Problems Several exist, e.g. divorce, abuse,

Relationships within families insufficient income, absent fathers.
Too much territory to cover in an
800-word essay. Too broad, need to
limit further.
(b) Divorce in Causes of divorce – there are several

families causes, impossible to cover all; can
give a sample such as infidelity,
alcoholism, abuse, loss of interest.
Much can be said about anyone of
these. The subject is still too wide,
needs further limitation.
Topic Cont. Possible Subjects Notes Cont.

Cont.
(c) The absent Of social interest – more specific

father: a cause than (a) or (b)
of insecurity in
families
(d) The effects More specific than (a) or (b). As good

of divorce on as (c). Either (c) or (d) would be a
young children good topic
in the family
Possible thesis statement for (c): The absence of a father is a major cause of insecurity in
a family.
The following is a checklist of points you can use as guides for narrowing a subject and
formulating a thesis statement.
• Is the topic sufficiently broad to allow me to present all the necessary information in the
word limit given?
• Does the topic present the subject in an interesting, fresh way?
• Is the audience likely to be interested in the aspect of the subject that I have selected?
• Does the thesis statement make specific points about a specific limited subject?
• Does the thesis statement indicate the central idea of the composition?
• Does the thesis statement reflect my original thoughts about the subject?
• Do I use precise language (e.g. exact verbs) in stating the thesis?
• Does the thesis include more points than I can (or intend to) cover in the composition?
• Is the thesis statement superficial, too emotional or bizarre?
• Did I include unnecessary phrases like “I think” and “I feel!”?
Application: Formulating a Thesis Statement

1. The following are two opening paragraphs from the work of two Caribbean writers.
See whether you can find a thesis statement in each. If you cannot identify the thesis
statement, formulate one on the basis of what is said in the paragraph.
I The common history of domination and the struggle for political
freedom, economic viability and cultural identity and, within that
framework, the common experiences in the process of creolisation
offer a logical basis for ease of communication between the different
communities of what is sometimes referred to as a ‘sub-region’ (i.e.
the insular Caribbean) or a ‘region’ (i.e. Continental Latin America
and the insular Caribbean combined). Yet there are divisive forces
rooted in that very history that keep the territories culturally
apart. There are, as well, the realities of geography evident in the
wide expanses of water and mountain ranges, forests and rivers which
separate community from community. The dominant and European colonising
forces have also bequeathed imprints of language, religion and other
cultural forms to their different spheres of influence, placing Caracas
nearer to Madrid than to Port-of-Spain and Kingston nearer to London
than to Havana, Cuba, St John’s, Antigua, or Bridgetown, Barbados.
(Source - Rex Nettleford, Inward Stretch Outward Reach, London: MacMillan, 1993, p. 131.)
II The Party of Oceania, in George Orwell’s 1984, had three slogans:

WAR IS PEACE; FREEDOM IS SLAVERY; IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH. The entire
apparatus of the Oceania Government was divided into four Ministries:
Truth, Peace, Love and Plenty, known respectively as Minitrue, Minipax,
Miniluv and Miniplenty. The Ministry of Truth concerned itself with
news, entertainment, education and the fine arts; the Ministry of Peace
concerned itself with war; and the Ministry of Love maintained law
and order. For its part, the Ministry of Plenty was responsible for
economic affairs. Oceania had its inversions; in Trinidad and Tobago
we have our mini-inversions, called mininversions.
(Source - J. R. P. Dumas, ‘1976, with apologies to M. Orwell’, in Service of the Public,

Jamaica: Canoe Press, University of the West Indies, p. 346.)
2. The following two paragraphs are openings from papers by first-year university students.
Identify the thesis statement, and if there is no identifiable statement, formulate one on
the basis of the information given in the paragraph.
I Caribbean countries must adopt a unified and coordinated strategy for
development in order to survive in today’s world environment. As
long as each country continues to pursue an independent path towards
development, there will continue to be a waste of resources, and
duplication of effort with very little being achieved in terms of
sustainable economic, [political, social and cultural] development.

“Only when there is meaningful integration will the Caribbean survive
as a viable economic and political entity and not slide into the
margin of history.”
II Jurassic Park is a highly acclaimed film, which recently drew large

crowds to the Globe Drive-in and cinema. It exposed us to the idea
of dinosaurs, animals that roamed the earth millions of years ago,
being revived from mere drops of blood extracted from their fossilized
bones. The DNA contained in this blood was extracted and used to
produce a new population of dinosaurs in present times. This procedure
simulates precisely the concept of genetic engineering.
3. Assume that as a peer editor (a reader of a classmate’s paper) you have been assigned
the task of evaluating the following topics and thesis statements from the essays of
classmates. Use the checklist provided at the end of the foregoing section (page 167)
as a guide in writing statements which you will give as feedback to your classmates. The
word limit for these essays is 500 to 800 words.
(I) Topic: The Computer
Thesis statement: Let us consider the early twentieth century and

take a brief look at the history of computing; then let us consider
the uses of the computer and the consequences of its use in the world
society today.
(II)Topic: Euthanasia
Thesis statement: Recently, the activities of Dr. Jack Kevorkian have

revived the controversy of euthanasia and the legalisation of this
practice.
(III) Topic: Genetic Engineering
Thesis statement: Genetic engineering is the biological manipulation

of genes. Genes are the principal agents controlling the natural
development of an organism. Genetic engineering, also known as
recombinant DNA technology, has many beneficial uses today, as well as
many implications for the future. As in any scientific process there
are potential dangers and genetic engineering is no exception.
•
Outlining
We begin this section with an application to get you to think critically about the subject matter
that we are considering and also to do a bit of analysis before you read the discussion.
Application: Outlining
The following are three different types of outlines prepared by first year university students.
(1) Examine them carefully then explain the differences between them.
(2) Indicate the approximate length of assignment for which each would be suitable.
1. Topic: The computer, history of the computer, its uses, future possibilities,
consequences of its use
2.
Topic: Divorce through the eyes of a child. The experience of divorce
meant pain and rejection. There was a constant wondering of how life
would continue, and an uncomfortable feeling of being caught in the
middle. One felt deprived of love. Blaming self and parents was one of
the consequences. The child is left with a constant feeling of aloneness.
In order to go on there must be first an overcoming of the grief and a
determination to survive the ordeal.
3.
Topic: Euthanasia – the cases that effected change
Thesis statement: The laws governing euthanasia have been revised due to
the occurrence in recent times of controversial cases.
I. Acknowledgement of a need for euthanasia by those suffering.
II. The Karen Anne Quinlan case and its influence in establishing passive
euthanasia.
III.Tony Bland’s case and its fortifying effects on laws governing passive
euthanasia.
IV. Dr. Quill and the “Diane” case which proved most controversial and
significant in the revision of laws governing active euthanasia.
V. Nigel Coe and how his case further defined the parameters allowing
aided suicide.
VI. Reforms in the legal systems of Canada, Germany and Holland in reply
to the needs of suffering patients requesting euthanasia.
VII. Euthanasia and barbiturates: the law revised.

VIII. Conclusion: Euthanasia is a growing concern which the legal

systems must address in order to deal with the ever increasing cases
in society.
4.
Topic: Over-population
Thesis statement: The basic causes of overpopulation are natural increase,

culture and immigration which lead to negative effects on the economy and
the environment although family planning, education and de-urbanisation
are some solutions to reduce these problems.
I. Causes of overpopulation
A. Natural increase
1. Birth rates outnumber death rates
2. Average life expectancy increased
3. Improved health care
B. Culture
1. High fertility
2. Youthful population
3. Built-in momentum
C. Immigration
1. International
2. Within boundaries of countries
3. Densely populated
II. Negative effects
A. Economy
1. Modern medical technology
2. Demands on goods and services
3. Migration
4. Crime and punishment
B. Environment
1. Spread of infectious diseases
2. Depletion of natural resources
3. Loss in natural ecosystems
4. Pollution
III. Solutions
A. Education
1. Programmes implemented
2. Fewer children and improved welfare
3. Improved health care and nutrition
B. Family planning
1. Distribution of contraceptives
2. Improved socio-economic welfare
3. Cost effective investment
C. De-urbanization
1. Develop rural areas
2. Take stress from overcrowded cities
3. Less occurrence of infectious diseases and pollution
IV. Conclusion: Everyone is a member of a given population, and as such
overpopulation affects each and every one of us in one way or another.
All good writers plan and organise their writing. Some writers discover a plan as they write and
•
they make notes to keep them on track. Other writers jot down phrases that capture the ideas
they want to include in each paragraph; others feel more comfortable with a full formal outline
(see Application and Section Six). The differences between the examples in the application are
differences based on the preferences of the individual writers, but they are also differences that
are determined by the nature of the writing task.
A writer may prefer a scratch or informal outline for a short paper of 500 - 800 words. This outline
is simple (see example 1– in the Application at the start of the section on Outlining) and lists the
main points or topics that are to be covered in the order that the writer intends to cover them.
The writer revises and rearranges the order to present the items in the most logical and effective
way. This scratch outline is sketchy in detail and is intended to help the writer keep the points
in mind. A written outline (example 2) can be as sketchy or as detailed as the writer wishes.
This presents the writer’s thoughts written out in sentences, and it serves as a guide to keep the
writer on track during the writing of the essay. The points may not be as immediately salient in
this form as they would be if they were presented in a list. These informal outlines are the least
a writer will do in the way of organisation, and they may be suited to experienced writers who
are able to chart the detailed course of the writing in their minds as they write. In a paragraph
outline the writer usually presents the thesis statement and a list of statements that are either the
actual phrasing of the topic sentence of each paragraph or a phrase that summarises the topic
sentence. Roman numerals are used to indicate these topics (see example 3).
All outlines provide the writer with a way of organising the information that is to be included
in the composition. The scratch outline is not intended for the reader and it is usually discarded
after the writing is complete. However, the writer must check the finished draft to ensure that
the information is presented in the most effective way, that there is unity and coherence in the
paragraphing, and fluency in the expression of the ideas. These elements are partly achieved
through the use of appropriate cohesive ties/transitional words and phrases (See discussion later
in this section and in Section Eight).
The fourth example is one of a full formal outline. You will have noted that this type of outline
includes much more detail than the others. The formal outline can be set out with topics or full
sentences. The sentence outline provides more information about each topic that is included.
This type of outline is written to show how the ideas in the composition are related to each other
(and to the controlling idea or thesis), and to distinguish between the main and subordinate
subdivisions and ideas in the essay. It is therefore useful for longer writing tasks. There is an
accepted convention for the format of formal outlines (refer to example 4). This is an example
of a topic formal outline. Note that the main points that the writer intends to deal with in the
composition are set out in words or short phrases.
The capital Roman numerals (I, II, III, etc.) indicate the major divisions of the essay. All of these
divisions are related to the points (or divisions) in the thesis statement.
Example: I. (major division - 1)
II. (major division - 2)
Main divisions within these major parts are indicated with upper case letters (A, B, C, etc.) which
are indented and set off from the capital Roman numerals (the major parts) resulting in a format
like the following:
Example: I. (Major division)
A. (Main division)
B. (Main division)
C. (Main division)
Subdivisions within these are indicated by Arabic numerals (1, 2, 3, etc.) which are indented
further and set off from the Main and Major divisions as in the following example.
A. (Main division)
1. (Subdivision)
2. (Subdivision)
B. (Main division)
1. (Subdivision)
2. (Subdivision)
Yet another subdivision can be indicated by using lower case letters that are further indented.
It is also possible to include minor points which would be indicated by lower case Roman
numerals, but to include those would be to include a level of detail that is usually incorporated
in the drafting. The format resulting from the fourth subdivision would be as follows:
A. (Main subdivision)
1. (Subdivision)
a.
b.
c.
II. (Major division)
A. (Main subdivision)
1. (Subdivision)
a.
b.
c.
2. (Subdivision)
a.
b.
c.
The formal outline set out in this way allows the writer to analyse the topic and account for all
the possible subdivisions in the thesis statement. Use of the indented format permits the writer
to see at a glance those items that are main and subordinate. They also allow the writer to see
the extent to which ideas have been duplicated thus making reorganising simpler. Subdivisions
consist of more than one item. There must be at least two; one item alone cannot make up
a subdivision. If a writer has only one item this is an indication that some reorganisation is
necessary; the item can be reworked into one of the other existing subdivisions, usually the one
immediately preceding.
The formal sentence outline indicates each item or topic in a complete sentence. For example,
if the outline presented in Example 4 of the foregoing application had used sentences, the main
subdivisions of Part II would have looked something like the following:
Thesis: ...
I.
A.
B.
II. Integration is considered the only hope for the future development of the Caribbean
region.
A. Individual countries in the Caribbean encounter difficulty in achieving

bilateral agreements with the international community.
1. Necessity for collective action when negotiating
2. Achievement of economic and social progress dependent on

integration
B. Other countries of the world have already merged to form large trading
blocks.
The following is a summary of the purposes of outlines:
• they provide you with a map of the paper

• they help you write a proper plan for the essay and from which you can chart your way
through the paper
• they show the relationships between the divisions of the thesis
• they help you see at a glance what the main and subdivisions are
• they help you to assess and revise the draft(s) of the paper
• they reveal the information gaps in the paper
Formal outlines can be developed at different stages of the writing. Before drafting and after
ideas have been generated, the formal outline can be used to help you group your ideas into a
logical and effective framework, and to help you ensure that all aspects of the topic are covered,
that is, that you have analysed the topic adequately and taken all its subdivisions into account.
The outline is thus a map or a blueprint for the composition, but adjustments can be made as
the writing progresses and you modify your thinking about the task. After a first draft has been
written, it can be checked against the outline and if necessary a new one can be prepared to
reflect improvements that were made during writing. The original outline allows you to make
appropriate revisions to the first draft of the essay. Some writers make modifications to their
outlines as they write while others find them restrictive and prefer not to adhere to them; still
other writers prepare several outlines during the drafting process and make revisions after
successive drafts. However, it is always necessary to check the draft(s) carefully for completeness,
coherence and unity. The outline is a useful tool for checking (a) content, (b) organisation, (c)
relationships between ideas and (d) logical/effective order of presentation of the ideas in the
composition. Putting too much detail into an outline and adhering to it slavishly can sometimes
lead to a stilted composition. It is important to include all the salient points but allow for the
creativity of expression that comes with fluency during composing.
Application: Outlines
1. Go back to the previous application exercise and examine the third outline carefully.
Based on the topic that was given, write a critique of the outline which you will give to the
student to help him/her revise it. In your critique comment specifically on the following:
(a) limiting the topic, (b) the clarity of the thesis statement, (c) the subdivisions selected
for the topic/essay, (d) the smaller subdivisions (do they follow logically?). Suggest a
reorganisation that in your opinion will result in a more coherent essay.
2. Some writers do not prepare formal outlines for their writing, but if a paper is well-
written it is possible to construct a formal outline from an analysis of the text. The
following is the essay that was written by the student Amanda on euthanasia. Read the
essay carefully and (a) write out a full formal outline to determine how Amanda charted
her essay, (b) write notes to indicate the strengths and weaknesses of the essay in terms
of (i) content – the ideas presented, their soundness, logic and relationship to each other,
(ii) the effectiveness of the organisation - coherence within and between sentences and
paragraphs.
3. Use your notes to write a brief commentary on the essay which you will give to Amanda
as feedback.
Here is the essay:
Euthanasia: The Cases That Effected Change
‘1968 - Ramon Sanpedro can move only his head. He wants someone to help
him commit suicide .... Two Spanish courts have refused their consent.’l
‘1992 - Sue Rodrigue, a Canadian, was suffering from an incurable disease

which attacks the brain and spinal cord. She died in February 1994 with
the help of an anonymous doctor.’2
‘1993 - Mr Hyde, by then in the late stages of degenerative, fatal nerve

disease: “I want to end this: I want to die ...”3
The many recurring instances of both passive euthanasia and active

euthanasia - that is, assisted suicide - have forced legislators to
re-evaluate the laws governing the “painless killing of people who are
incurably ill or very old.”4
In 1976 the parents of Karen Anne Quinlan sought the assistance of the
court in terminating their daughter’s life. Karen was diagnosed as being
in an irreversible coma. Though the hospital at first refused to disconnect
the machine which perpetuated Karen’s life, they were later obligated to
unplug the life support apparatus when the court granted the Quinlan’s
request.5 This was one of the first of many cases that forced the courts to
revise previous laws regarding euthanasia.6 The case of Karen Anne Quinlan
had established legal footing for the act of passive euthanasia.
In April 1989 a similar case occurred which served to fortify the legality
of passive euthanasia. Tony Bland sustained extensive brain injuries
which left him in a vegetative state with no hope of recovering. It was
not until March 1993 that Britain’s highest judicial authority granted
permission to disconnect Bland from the machine which fed him.
While the cause of passive euthanasia was being furthered by Bland, an

American, Dr. Quill, was challenging the laws that governed the more
active form of euthanasia, that of assisted suicide.
In 1991 the case of “Diane” (who was a woman suffering from recurring
cancer and had only a 25% chance of survival after treatment) caused much
controversy when it became known that Quill had not only supplied Diane
with the barbiturates (which she subsequently used to commit suicide) but
also informed her of the required amount to make the dosage fatal. The
public’s reaction was mixed. In 1992 when a grand jury refused to indict
him, Quill knew reform was finally taking place.7
In that same year, however, Nigel Cox, a British rheumatologist, gave a

lethal injection of potassium cyanide to an agonizing patient who had
begged him to. Nigel Cox was convicted of attempted murder. A fine and
clear line had been drawn; “between injecting a dose of pain-killer that
is likely to cause death (and some doctors do) and injecting a drug that
is certain to kill (which is a crime in most places)”8
The Law Reform Commission of Canada also felt the need to clarify the
responsibilities of those involved. The Commission “recommended that
a physician not be deemed to have committed a criminal act because he
discontinues treatment considered medically useless.”9
Revisions were made in other territories also as legislation sought to

deal with the increase of known euthanasia. In Germany doctors were
previously allowed only to withdraw life support systems from patients
who were actually dying. However, in September 1994, German courts ruled
that terminally ill patients could also be allowed to die. In 1993 the
Dutch parliament went so far as to grant doctors permission to kill
acutely ill patients in certain qualifying conditions.
It is ironic to note that in a world where elaborate medical apparatus

has prolonged life, it was the under-treatment of pain among the dying
that posed a more significant problem than the over-treatment. It had
previously been accepted that the distribution of pain killers should
not be in doses that would expose a patient to possible addiction. This
was absurd, especially in the case of patients whose life expectancy had
been considerably shortened due to a terminal illness. The revised law
recognized that in such cases pain relief took precedence over addiction
even if administering it might accelerate the process of death.10
The idea of life’s qualitative value had finally begun to be recognised on

a global scale in the courts.
Undoubtedly the cases we have reviewed and the resulting revisions in the
law are just the beginning. Each generation to come will probably have
its radical Dr. Quills and “Doctor Deaths”11 who will continue to force
legislative bodies to clarify the blurred lines of the law. The law cannot
remain a spectator for as Ian Kennedy so clearly pointed out:
“It cannot be fair to doctors to present them with a situation in which

they have to guess whether people will subsequently endorse what they have
done or whether, if they guess wrong, the law will be applied in all its
rigor and they will face charges of murder.”12
1. John Smith, “Euthanasia” in The Economist. 17 September, 1994:21.
2. John Smith, 21.
3. Joan Brown, “The kindly gas” in The Economist. 7 May, 1994:13.
4. Longman’s Dictionary of Contemporary English. Harlow, Essex.: Clays
Ltd., St. Ives plc. 1987.
5. Smith, “Euthanasia”, p. 21.
6. Ibid
7. Smith, “Euthanasia”, p. 22.
8. Ibid
9. Law Reform Commission of Canada. “Euthanasia, aiding suicide and
cessation of treatment.” The Law Reform Commission of Canada 20.
27-28.
10.Smith, “Euthanasia”, p. 21.
11. Joan Brown, “The kindly gas”, p.13.
12.Smith, “Euthanasia”, p. 25.
•
Paragraphs
The idea of paragraphs and their structure and organisation is not new to you. One of the things
that we are taught from early when we write compositions is how to organise our thoughts into
chunks called paragraphs. The reader finds it helpful to follow the development of the writer’s
ideas in the essay when these ideas are presented in paragraphs. Paragraph organisation is not
arbitrary; it is more than putting a series of sentences together to form a uniform chunk of
discourse.
The appearance of paragraphs on a page gives a sense of measured breaks, of pauses between
one chunk of text and another. The indentation of each paragraph seems to emphasise the
pause between one set of ideas and another set which follows. Although formats for presenting
text on a page vary and the block format is sometimes used instead of the indented format, the
paragraphs are nevertheless made distinct by the empty line spacing between the end of one
paragraph and the beginning of the other; the effect is the same as for the indented format.
Some writers indicate the number and focus of the paragraphs they will include in their
compositions at the planning stage (see paragraph outlines in the previous chapter). However,
others write without giving thought to paragraph breaks until they have completed their first
draft at which stage they impose order by separating the text into paragraphs.
Paragraphs vary in length. Some may consist of one sentence as in the example that follows,
while others consist of several sentences that may extend over most of a page.
Again he could not see, whirling; there was a face in a red haze, moonlike,
bigger than the full moon, the owner of it half again his size, he leaping
in the red haze toward the face, feeling no blow, feeling no shock when his
head struck the earth, scrabbling up and leaping again, feeling no blow this
time either and tasting no blood, scrabbling up to see the other boy in full
flight and himself already leaping into pursuit as his father’s hand jerked
him back, the harsh, cold voice speaking above him “Go get in the wagon.”
(Source - Faulkner, William, “Bear Burning”, in Collected Stories of William Faulkner, Random
House Inc., 1939.)
There is no fixed rule that determines the length of paragraphs. This depends
on what and how much the writer needs to say, on the complexity of the
ideas being presented in the paragraph, on the medium in which the article
will appear and the audience for whom the writing is intended. A writer is
likely to use shorter paragraphs when writing for a newspaper or magazine,
for example, than for another medium. Sometimes a short paragraph is used
to bridge the ideas between longer paragraphs. As such, they function as
transitions in much the same way that words, phrases and sentences are used
for that purpose. The following example from the writing of Rex Nettleford
illustrates this. In the previous paragraph Nettleford had been discussing
the idea of artistic culture as a manifestation of Caribbean identity, and
he ended that paragraph with the following question.
“The question is, are such things seen as proper ingredients of Caribbean
identity?”
Now consider the use of the short paragraph which follows.
The answer is not easy. Bob Marley, the genius of Jamaican reggae, is an icon
‘of the people’. Another generation worshipped Louise Bennett of Jamaica.
The Mighty Sparrow (Slinger, Francisco) awarded an honorary Doctorate of
Letters in 1987 by the UWI is the region’s longest reigning King of Calypso.
(Source - Rex Nettleford, Inward Stretch, Outward Reach)
Nettleford goes on to answer the question in the lengthy paragraph that follows which begins
with the sentence:
“While Papiamento finds full legitimacy in neighbouring Curacao, the creole languages of
Jamaica, St. Lucia and Dominica are still regarded as illegitimate and backward;”
the paragraph ends with:

“The cultural inventions of the people from below are what invest the society with cultural
meaning and purpose; yet they continue to exist on the margin or as sub-culture.”
The purpose of the transitional paragraph, then, is to indicate the complexity of the question
and to cite examples of Caribbean artistes who have given “purpose and meaning” to Caribbean
culture but who “exist on the margin”. This is the main point that is made in the paragraph
and stated in the concluding sentence. The short paragraph functions both as a transition and
illustration. From this example one can see that even when we talk about the function and
structure of individual paragraphs they have to be considered in the context of the larger essay
or paper because they are integral to the whole.
Quite apart from length, writers are usually careful to observe certain principles when they
construct paragraphs. One important principle is that of ensuring that the paragraph has a
controlling idea. This is sometimes expressed in a topic sentence that gives the writer a focus for
developing the rest of the paragraph. The other principles are unity, coherence, order, emphasis
and completeness; we will discuss them and attempt to show their usefulness in writing good
paragraphs.
The Topic Sentence

Experienced writers consciously or unconsciously use the principles mentioned
in the previous paragraph as a means of organising their ideas. Students
who are developing their writing abilities will find it useful to use these
principles as they shape the drafts of their compositions and to keep them in
mind as they revise. Expressing the controlling idea of a paragraph explicitly
in a topic sentence helps the writer to focus on that idea as the paragraph
is developed. All the other sentences in the paragraph relate to the central
thought and provide support for it in the form of facts, illustrations and
details. The topic sentence can occur anywhere in a paragraph. The following
is an example of its occurrence at the beginning of the paragraph.
For the fourth year in a row, the Caribbean subregion experienced a growth rate
of less than 1 percent. As a result, Caribbean per capita income continued to
fall, as unemployment remained high in many of the countries. Any prospect
of rapid recovery of economic growth in the subregion was hampered by such
factors as the need to continue with fiscal and monetary austerity programs
in the Bahamas, Barbados, Jamaica, and Trinidad and Tobago, the uncertainty
of preferential access to the US and European markets, and depressed overall
levels of investment.
(Source – “The Caribbean - IDB Overview”, The Caribbean Voice, 2, 1995.

The information presented in the rest of the paragraph consists of supporting details that
illustrate the main point. In this case, several reasons are given for the low growth rate in the
region. Note that supporting details given by this writer consist of specific examples and facts
that substantiate the main point.
When it occurs at the end of a paragraph the topic sentence follows several details that the writer
presents, or it summarises the points presented in the paragraph. The following is an example
of this.
Just as the breeders selected those individuals best suited to the breeders’
needs to be the parents of the next generation, so, Darwin argued, nature
selected those organisms that were best fitted to survive the struggle for
existence. In that way evolution would inevitably occur. And so there it
was: a sort of improving machine inevitably at work in nature, “daily and
hourly scrutinizing,” Darwin wrote, “silently and insensibly working ... at
the improvement of each organic being.” In this way, Darwin thought, one type
of organism could be transformed into another - for instance, he suggested,
bears into whales. So that was how we came to have horses and tigers and
things - by natural selection.
(Source - Tom Bethel, “Darwin’s Mistake”, Harper’s Magazine, 1976.)
The details, examples and explanations of Darwin’s views that are presented in the paragraph
lead up to the topic sentence at the end. The reader is given a chance to evaluate the information
before the summative point is given.
When it occurs in the middle of a paragraph, the topic sentence acts as a hinge that pulls
together the ideas that precede and follow it. The following is an illustration of this.
There is a story by Unamuno in which a priest, living in a small Spanish
village, is adored by all the people for his piety, kindness, and the majesty
with which he celebrates the Mass each Sunday. To them he is already a
saint. It is a foregone conclusion, and they speak of him as Saint Immanuel.
He helps them with their ploughing and planting, tends them when they are
sick, confesses them, comforts them in death, and every Sunday, in his rich
thrilling voice, transports them to paradise with his chanting. The fact
is that Don Immanuel is not so much a saint as a martyr. Long ago his own
faith left him. He is an atheist, a good man doomed to suffer the life of a
hypocrite, pretending to a faith he does not have. As he raises the chalice
of wine, his hands tremble, and a cold sweat pours from him. He cannot stop
for he knows that the people need this of him, that their need is greater
than his sacrifice. Still... still... could it be that Don Immanuel’s whole
life is a kind of prayer, a paean to God?
(Source - Richard Selzer, ‘Why a Surgeon Would Write’, in Mortal Lessons, Simon & Schuster Ltd.)
The topic sentence: The fact is that Don Immanuel is not so much a saint as a martyr sets up the opposition
between the first part of the paragraph (what the people believe about Don Immanuel, that is
Don Immanuel as saint) and the second part of the paragraph (what Don Immanuel is in
reality, that is, Don Immanuel as martyr). By placing the topic sentence in the middle of the
paragraph, the writer is able to set up this opposition between the imagined or what is believed,
and reality. Selzer could have used either of the other two kinds of structure that have been
discussed, but consider the differences in effect that would have been achieved. Try shifting the
sentences around and compare the effects. Certainly, placing the topic sentence in the middle of
the paragraph requires skill because the writer needs to create a balance in which the relationship
of the first part to the second is clear.
In some instances the first sentence of a paragraph acts as a transition between the preceding
paragraph and the one following it, but it is not the topic sentence. This comes after the
transitional sentence as the second sentence in the paragraph, or it may occur elsewhere. Consider
the following example from Naipaul in which one paragraph ends with the following statement:
But on the coast, aware only of the colonial apparatus of the country and the
nearness of the Caribbean islands, you can still forget that British Guiana
has a border with Brazil. For most Guianese the coast is Guiana; everything
beyond is bush.
Then the following paragraph begins with a transitional sentence which is followed by the topic
sentence of that paragraph.
And so it is. The bush begins at Atkinson Airfield which is just twenty miles
south of Georgetown.
(Source - V. S. Naipaul, The Middle Passage, London: Andre Deutsch, 1962.)
Do all paragraphs have a clearly identifiable topic sentence? The answer is, no. Some paragraphs
do not have explicit topic sentences, yet they are unified, well-ordered and organised. Paragraphs
like these still have a controlling topic idea which is not explicit yet which controls the organisation
of the entire paragraph. In order to write such a paragraph you need to keep the topic idea in
mind. Read the following example to determine whether it has an explicit topic sentence.
These are morning matters, pictures you dream as the final wave heaves you up
on the sand to the bright light and drying air. You remember pressure, and a
curved sleep you rested against, soft, like a scallop in its shell. But the
air hardens your skin; you stand; you leave the lighted shore to explore some
dim headland, and soon you’re lost in the leafy interior, intent, remembering
nothing.
(Source - Annie Dillard, “Heaven and Earth in Jest”, in Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, Harper & Row.)
One might wish to make a case for the first sentence as the topic sentence, but it no more
contains a main idea than the others. All the sentences in the paragraph relate to the experience,
specifically the dream quality of the writer’s experience which is the unifying idea of the
paragraph.
Not all writers state topic sentences as a starting point for writing. Most experienced writers
employ the principles of organisation automatically as they write; it is enough that they have
the controlling idea in mind. Other writers find it useful to organise their paragraphs around
an explicit topic sentence and vary the paragraph organisation on the basis of their purpose. If
you have difficulty with organisation you can begin by writing a clear, interesting topic sentence
which is explicitly stated and around which you can develop the paragraph.
Application: The Topic Sentence

1. Read the following paragraphs and (a) identify the topic sentence (if any) in each, and (b)
write a brief paragraph in which you support your choice. If you find no explicit topic
sentence, indicate what you think the controlling idea is and justify your choice.
(i)
A watch implies a watchmaker, say the creationists. If you were to find
a beautifully intricate watch in the desert, far from habitation, you
would be sure that it had been fashioned by human hands and somehow left
there. It would pass the bounds of credibility that it had simply formed,
spontaneously, from the sands of the desert.
(Source -Issac Asimov, “Armies of the Night”, in “Threat of Creationists” The New York Times,
June 14, 1981.)
(ii) “Mother, Mother,” said Gregor in a low voice, and looked up at her. The
chief clerk, for the moment, had quite slipped from his mind; instead he
could not resist snapping his jaws together at the sight of the steaming
coffee. That made his mother scream again, she fled from the table and fell
into the arms of his father, who hastened to catch her. But Gregor had
now no time to spare for his parents; the chief clerk was already on the
stairs; with his chin on the banister he was taking one last backward
look. Gregor made a spring, to be as sure as possible of overtaking him;
the chief clerk must have divined his intention, for he leaped down
several steps and vanished; he was still yelling “Ugh!” and it echoed
through the whole staircase.
(Source - Franz Kafka, ‘The Metamorphosis’, in The Penal Colony translated by, W. E. Muir,
reprinted Schoken Books Inc., 1976.)
(iii) A very queer, composite being thus emerges. Imaginatively she is of

the highest importance. Practically she is completely insignificant. She
pervades poetry from cover to cover; she is all but absent from history.
She dominates the lives of kings and conquerors in fiction; in fact she was
the slave of any boy whose parents forced a ring upon her finger. Some of
the most inspired words, some of the most profound thoughts in literature
fall from her lips; in real life she could hardly read, could scarcely
spell, and was the property of her husband.
(Source - Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own, New York: Harcourt, Brace and Jovonavich, 1981.)
2. The following are possible topics for compositions. Write down topic sentences for
paragraphs based on these topics and then develop the paragraphs. Plan the topic
sentences for placement at (a) the beginning, (b) the middle and (c) the end of the
paragraph; (d) write a paragraph without a topic sentence but which has an identifiable
controlling idea. Topics: (i) Childhood, (ii) Youth and morality, (iii) My future career, (iv)
Caribbean festivals, (v) University education
3. Use the following checklist to help you revise your topic sentences and paragraphs.
• Is the topic sentence clear?
• Is the topic sentence interesting and lively?
• Does the topic sentence give an indication of the focus of the paragraph?
• Is the topic sentence placed in the most effective position in the paragraph?
Unity
• If there is no topic sentence, is the main idea clear from the rest of the paragraph?
•
A paragraph that has unity is one in which all parts of it, the topic sentence and the supporting
details, contribute to the clarity of the main or controlling idea. It is not sufficient simply to
include supporting details. Although they function to make the main point clear to the reader,
the writer must have certain abilities to be able to use those details in such a way that a unified
paragraph is created. These abilities include one that we have already discussed, namely, (1)
stating the main idea clearly and unambiguously in a topic sentence, or keeping the topic idea in
mind as a guide while the paragraph is being developed. The other abilities are (2) to determine
the difference between significant and trivial details, (3) to select those details that are interesting
to the reader and relevant to the main idea and (4) to treat supportive details as such and not
allow the discussion of one or two to become elaborate to the extent that the reader is distracted
and loses track of the main idea. This is not to suggest that a paragraph must make one point
only. On the contrary, a writer can make several points in a paragraph as long as the relationship
between them and the main idea is clear to the reader. The following paragraph, for example, has
a main idea and supporting details, but it is not as unified as it could be.
The professor was probably a returning immigrant judging from the trace of a
North American accent he still maintained. This accent seemed to impress the
group and he used it advantageously to press home his points. The majority
of the group seemed to be there as a studio audience, with the intermittent
appropriate guffaws, sniggers, head nods or comments, except for Longman, who
only raised his head from the business of getting drunk with the occasional
admonition to Reds to “drink up man.” I suspected that the air of seriousness
and intelligence coupled with his silver hair and beard accorded him the
nickname Professor. His thin lips were nestled between his black and silver
moustache and goatee, matching in colour his thick eyebrows which danced as
he spoke. His otherwise pointed nose flared slightly at the nostrils; his hair
was a mixture of curls and straight hair and his complexion was dark curry.
Doleen, B.
The paragraph presents a description of the professor; the first two sentences mention his
accent and its effect on the group. The third sentence presents a detail about the group and two
characters in particular, and the rest of the paragraph reverts to a detailed description of the
physical characteristics of the professor. Given the focus of the paragraph, the third sentence is
misplaced. The writer deleted it in a revised version and used it in the third paragraph following
this one. The effect on this paragraph was to make it more unified. Compare the following
revised version with the original.
The professor was probably a returning immigrant judging from the trace of a
North American accent he still maintained. This accent seemed to impress the
group and he used it advantageously to press home his points. I suspected
that the air of seriousness and intelligence coupled with his silver hair
and beard accorded him the nickname Professor. His thin lips were nestled
between his black and silver moustache and goatee, matching in colour his
thick eyebrows which danced as he spoke. His otherwise pointed nose flared
slightly at the nostrils; his hair was a mixture of curls and straight hair
and his complexion was dark curry.
Doleen, B.
It is also not enough simply to include a list of details. The details have to be integrated into the
discussion of the paragraph as well as their relationship to the topic sentence (or topic idea). The
following are questions you can ask when you check for unity in paragraphs.
• Do the supporting points in the paragraph relate to, clarify, explain, and illustrate the
topic sentence?
• Are the supporting details interesting?
• Do all the supporting details serve to make the main point clear to the reader?
• Are the supporting details merely listed, or are they integrated into the discussion in such
a way as to elaborate on, or make clear the topic sentence or idea?
Application: Unity
1. The following are two versions of a paragraph from a composition written by a first-
year university student. In the first draft the writer has one paragraph which she splits
into two in the second version. Comment on whether the writer achieves unity in both
paragraphs as a result of the changes made. Provide written feedback for the writer in
which you comment specifically on the differences between the two versions.
[First draft]
North of the airport, deep in the countryside, the small village of Mesopotamia
lay nestled in a valley, surrounded by banana cultivations. The way of life
was simple. Like most remote settlements, electricity and running water had
not reached the area. People washed by the river, beating the clothes against
the stones to remove the banana stains and spreading them on the same rocks
to dry or bleach in the natural sunlight. Washday meant a day at the river,
which was only a ten minute walk downhill through a brown muddy path that
meandered through dasheen, coconuts, breadfruit and of course banana fields,
that were an intense green. We washed, swam, cooked and ate, then we slept,
our heads propped up against the stones, and our bodies partly submerged in
the warm water of the river where it too lay still, trapped between the rocks
on the banks of the river. I remember my uncle cooking breadfruit, which he
picked from one of the nearby trees and crayfish caught from the river, in
a powdered milk tin perched precariously on the makeshift stone fireplace.
He used a broken twig to stir and afterwards we ate on plates cut from the
green umbrella-type tops of the dasheen plant. The land fed us and the river
sustained us.
Sandra, G. A.
[Second draft]
North of the airport, deep in the countryside, the small village of Mesopotamia
lay nestled in a valley, surrounded by banana cultivations. The way of
life was simple. Electricity and running water had not reached the remote
settlement. People washed by the river, beating the banana-stained clothes
against the rocks then spreading them on the same stones to dry or to bleach
in the natural sunlight.
A brown, muddy track meandered to the river, through dasheen, coconuts,

breadfruit and, of course, banana fields that were an intense green. We
washed, swam, cooked and ate, then we slept, our heads propped against the
stones, and our bodies partly submerged in the warm water of the river where
it lay still, trapped between the rocks on the banks of the river as the
water swelled. My uncle cooked breadfruit, picked from one of the nearby
trees, and crayfish caught from the river, in a charred milk tin perched
precariously on the makeshift stone fireplace. His pot-spoon was carved from a
broken twig and afterwards we ate on plates cut from the green umbrella tops
of the dasheen plant. The land fed us and the river sustained us.
Sandra, G. A.
2. The following are two paragraphs from the writing of another first year student. Using
the checklists that have been given for the paragraph thus far, evaluate the paragraphs as
a peer editing exercise and write a critique for the student. Comment on the good points
and shortcomings of the paragraphs, and on other features of the writing that are not
specifically addressed in the checklists. Include concrete suggestions for improvement
of all aspects of the writing.
The use of the computer has resulted in both good and bad consequences.
Some of those good consequences are: the constant availability of updated
records and files; the ability of business places to have transactions
occurring outside of normal working hours; the lowering of safety hazards by
instituting a computer system in industry where manual labour once was; the
ability to keep employee records and records of stock without much paper to
be filed; the ability to provide constant watchcare to a patient; being able to
simulate (using computer aided design) a real life situation in a model when
designing ships, roads, automobiles and electric circuits; and being able to
keep records of reservations, and accounts. In these cases, the absence of
the computer provided much risk to man or simply so much “paper work” that a
task was often avoided or thought of as a logical impossibility.l
Some bad consequences of the computer’s use have mostly played on the
psychological and social side of the society. Such include: less “family
time” as the computer becomes the “babysitter” of the family; a loss of
intuition as solving problems become limited to the problem solving cases of
the computer and not the real-world; a loss of jobs for those people who are
apt to do manual labour; a quickened pace of information processing and a
consequent “up-beat” way of life to which most people are unable to mentally
adapt.
Alison S.
•
Coherence
What are the characteristics of a coherent paragraph? They are (a) effective and logical ordering
of details and (b) inclusion of appropriate transitions and discourse connectives. It is possible
to write a paragraph that is unified and fully developed but which lacks coherence because the
ideas are not properly sequenced and there are no transitions or cohesive ties to bridge them.
Coherence is a reflection of the logic and clarity of the writer’s thoughts. A writer may have a
set of ideas or an argument clear in his or her mind, but the relationships must be shown clearly
in sentences on the page before the reader can follow the development or the line of reasoning.
The order in which the sentences are presented and the cohesion of the textual elements must
therefore be logical and effective if the writing is to be coherent.
In the following paragraph, which we have altered for illustrative purposes, the development of
the ideas is difficult to follow because the sentences are not placed in the best sequence.
[1] The lament that “women cannot understand politics” or that “women and
politics don’t mix” has become something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. [2]
To enter the political realm successfully, women need a helping hand to
counter the subtle and not so subtle discrimination from male politicians.
[3] On the “demand” side, women have had to be spurred into exercising their
voting rights independently; on the “supply” side, they have had to be
encouraged to enter political life. [4] On the affirmative action front, more
can be done to set targets or establish quotas for female representation, to
ensure equal gender representation in all political bodies and to recruit
females specifically into parties and unions. [5] Besides building informal
networks for women, steps need to be taken at the national and local levels
to facilitate their institutional political participation.
The first sentence makes a statement that the perception that women are apolitical has become
a self-fulfilling prophecy. The rest of the paragraph proceeds to present ideas as to what is
required to facilitate greater participation of women in politics. Sentence 2 states that women
need help in battling discrimination from male politicians and the third sentence goes on
to show how women have had to be helped to exercise their franchises. The point made in
Sentence 4 addresses the larger issue of what can be done from the point of affirmative action
(it presents a concrete solution) and the last sentence considers what might be done at local and
national levels. One way of reordering the paragraph to make it more coherent, might involve a
movement from what existed in the past [S3] to what should obtain in the future [S2]; shifting
the order of these two sentences would effect such a change; in the rest of the paragraph, the
points that reflect what ought to happen locally and nationally [S5] might precede the larger
point of affirmative action and the specific recommendation which is made in sentence 4. The
new structuring would reflect the following sequence of the published version.
The lament that “women cannot understand politics” or that “women and
politics don’t mix” has become something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. On
the “demand” side, women have had to be spurred into exercising their voting
rights independently; on the “supply” side, they have had to be encouraged to
enter political life. To enter the political realm successfully, women need a
helping hand to counter the subtle and not so subtle discrimination from male
politicians. Besides building informal networks for women, steps need to be
taken at the national and local levels to facilitate their institutional
political participation. On the affirmative action front, more can be done
to set targets or establish quotas for female representation, to ensure
equal gender representation in all political bodies and to recruit females

specifically into parties and unions.
(Source - ‘Women - Challenges to the year 2000’, New York: United Nations Publications, 1991,
p. 59.)
Ordering Ideas
Time
There are several devices that writers can consciously employ to present their ideas in the most
effective order in paragraphs and essays. One commonly used in narrative discourse, reporting
events and process analysis is temporal ordering, or the ordering of details according to chronology
or the time sequence of events. This ordering allows one to say what happened first, second,
third and so on. In process analysis the ordering is straightforward as in the following excerpt
from a recipe for cake.
First cream the butter and sugar until smooth, then in a bowl, whisk eggs
until light and fluffy. Add the eggs to the creamed mixture, then add the
vanilla and cinnamon. Next, add the flour ...
The order of the process analysis is the order in which the reader can logically go about the task
of making a cake that should match the one described in the recipe in taste and consistency.
Quite apart from reflecting the writer’s logic, ordering in this way is a convenience to the reader.
In the following paragraphs, the events are ordered primarily by time. Note the temporal markers
and transitional words that signal the events and mark each in relation to the other.
For an hour David feasted at the termite mound and then he wandered slowly
away. When I was sure he had gone I went over to examine the mound. I found a
few crushed insects strewn about, and a swarm of worker termites sealing the
entrances of the nest passages into which David had obviously been poking his
stems. I picked up one of his discarded tools and carefully pushed it into a
hole myself. Immediately I felt the pull of several termites as they seized
the grass, and when I pulled it out there were a number of worker termites
and a few soldiers, with big red heads, clinging on with their mandibles.
There they remained, sticking out at right angles to the stem with their legs
waving in the air.
Before I left I trampled down some of the tall dry grass and constructed a
rough hide - just a few palm fronds leaned up against the low branch of a
tree and tied together at the top. I planned to wait there the next day.
But it was another week before I was able to watch a chimpanzee “fishing”
for termites again. Twice chimps arrived, but each time they saw me and
moved off immediately. Once a swarm of fertile winged termites - the princes
and princesses, as they are called - flew off on their nuptial flight, their
huge white wings fluttering frantically as they carried the insects higher
and higher. Later I realized that it is at this time of year, during the
short rains, when the worker termites extend the passages of the nest to
the surface, preparing for these emigrations. Several such swarms emerge
between October and January. It is principally during these months that the
chimpanzees feed on termites.
(Source - Jane Van Lawick-Goodall, First Observations)
The use of time markers like for an hour, and then, when ..., immediately, before, another week mark the
order in which the events occurred and help the reader follow the sequence.
Another way in which the details of the paragraph can be ordered is spatially: With spatial
organisation the writer describes scenes or objects from his or her vantage point. The ordering
can be from left to right, top to bottom, far to near or vice versa. It can also be from a moving
point of view, but the reader ‘sees’ the scene or object through the eyes of the writer. As with
temporal ordering, there are words and phrases that are used to signal shifts from one detail to
another. Try to determine the movement in the paragraph below, and as you read underline all
the words and phrases that tie the descriptive details for you.
With that she sent the car swerving round a sharp turn in the road, and
through a sudden break in the high wall of canes they saw that they had been
climbing all along without being aware of it. The broad sweep of open country
through which they had just travelled, with its neat orderly fields, tiny
villages and great sugar mills, with New Bristol moored at its southern end,
lay below them in the distance. And now as the cane fields lining the road
began to drop back as the land sloped sharply up, they were within view of
the sea for the first time. Wide, smooth, reproducing faithfully the unflawed
blue of the sky, glittering with gold snatched from the sun, it bridged the
two ends of the land and meeting with the sky at the horizon sealed off the
island from the rest of the world.
(Source - Paule Marshall, The Chosen Place, the Timeless People, Vintage Books, 1969.)
Other methods of ordering detail is by presenting the information from difficult to complex, from the
particular to the general – as in the paragraph by Bethel (pages 181 and 182) or from the general to the
particular which is a common type of ordering used in expository discourse. In paragraphs like
these the writer states the topic sentence first and proceeds to provide the supporting details that
explain or elaborate it. The following paragraph is an example of the latter type.
Our species evolved in Africa from earlier forms and eventually spread out
around the planet. Over time, human populations that were geographically
separated from one another came to differ in physical appearance. They came by
these differences through three major pathways: mutation, natural selection,
and genetic drift. Since genetic mutations occur randomly, different mutations
occur and accumulate over time in geographically separated populations. Also,
as we have known since Darwin, different geographical environments select for

different physical traits that confer a survival advantage. But the largest
proportion of variability among populations may well result from purely
random factors; this random change in the frequencies of already existing
genes is known as genetic drift.
(Source - Jefferson M. Fish, ‘Mixed Blood’, Psychology Today, 1995.)
Some paragraphs are ordered by question and answer. They may not have a clearly stated topic
sentence, but the question serves as the controlling idea and the answer is provided in the rest
of the paragraph. The following paragraph illustrates.
Why do puffins matter? To Icelanders and Faroe Islanders, who hunt these
birds for meat, there is a practical motive to conserve them. For me, a more
compelling reason lies in what we can learn from the link between puffins
and the sea. In studying puffin societies - how they function, evolve, and
decline - we also find out about the well-being of the oceans. Such knowledge
is crucial, for ocean waters are to the planet as blood is to the human body.
(Source - Kenneth Taylor, ‘Puffins’. National Geographic, 189, 1996.)
The choice of sequencing depends to some extent on the subject, its complexity and its familiarity
to the audience. However, regardless of the kind of ordering that is selected, the writer has to
lead the reader gradually to an understanding of the topic idea. The following paragraphs by
Hemingway provide a good example of a step by step explanation of a bull fight.
The three absolute acts of the tragedy are first the entry of the bull when
the picadors receive the shock of his attacks and attempt to protect their
horses with their lances. Then the horses go out and the second act is
the planting of the banderillos. This is one of the most interesting and
difficult parts but among the easiest for a new bull fight fan to appreciate in
technique. The banderillos are three-foot, gaily colored darts with a small
fish hook prong in the end. The man who is going to plant them walks out into
the arena alone and points them toward the bull. Then he calls “Toro! Toro!”
The bull charges and the banderillaro rises to his toes, bends in a curve
forward and just as the bull is about to hit him drops the darts into the
bull’s hump just back of his horns.
They must go in evenly, one on each side. They must not be shoved, or thrown
or stuck in from the side. This is the first time the bull has been completely
baffled, there is the prick of the darts that he cannot escape and there are
no horses for him to charge into. But he charges the man again and again and
each time he gets a pair of the long banderillos that hang from his hump by
their tiny barbs and flop like porcupine quills.
Last is the death of the bull, which is in the hands of the matador who
has had charge of the bull since his first attack. Each matador has two
bulls in the afternoon. The death of the bull is most formal and can only
be brought about in one way, directly from the front by the matador who
must receive the bull in full charge and kill him with a sword thrust
between the shoulders just back of the neck and between the horns. Before
killing the bull he must first do a series of passes with the muleta, a
piece of red cloth he carries about the size of a large napkin. With the
muleta the torero must show his complete mastery of the bull, must make
the bull miss him again and again by inches, before he is allowed to kill
him. It is in this phase that most of the fatal accidents occur.
(Source - Ernest Hemingway, “The Bull fight as symbolism”, in Patterns of Exposition, ed. by, Randal E.
Decker Boston: Little, Brown & Co Ltd.)
Application: Ordering Ideas

1. In this chapter we provided examples of all but two kinds of organisation, namely,
difficult to complex and particular to general. Conduct a search and find one example
of each of these two types. Present them to your class and explain the effects achieved
by the writer from the organisation used.
2. For the following topics, write three paragraphs in which you select either one of the
following sequencing patterns for each: temporal, spatial, particular to general, general
to particular, question - answer.
(a) West Indies cricket in 1996
(b) Minibuses as a form of public transportation
(c) Carnival is carnival only right before lent.
Add the following question to the checklists provided in previous chapters of this section and
use the set to evaluate your paragraphs.
• Is the sequence or order in which I present the ideas/sentences in my paragraph

logical/consistent?
• Does the order that I have selected allow me to present the details in the most
effective way?
•
Transitions and Discourse Connectives
We have said that unity and effective ordering are not enough to create a good paragraph. In
addition to these, the writer needs to use transitions to effect a smooth flow from one sentence
to another and to contribute to the cohesion of the text. When we omit transitions, the reading
process is slowed down as the reader seeks to make the connections between the ideas.
In a coherent paragraph several devices are used to link the ideas and sentences together. These
devices are repetition of a word or idea, using pronoun reference for an antecedent that was
mentioned in an earlier sentence, using demonstrative adjectives, modifying a thought that
was previously expressed. By the use of devices such as these the writer enables the reader to
follow the connectedness of his or her thoughts. In the following paragraph we have removed
the transitions and discourse connectives and amended the text slightly. Note the effect that is
created by the absence of these.
It is the day of the operation. I stand by; the anaesthetist administers the
drugs. I watch the tense familiar body relax into narcosis. I turn to uncover
the leg. Upon her kneecap, she has drawn, blindly, upside down for me to see,
a face; a circle with two ears, two eyes, a nose, a smiling upturned mouth.
She had printed SMILE, DOCTOR. I listen to the sound of the saw, a little
crack at the end tells me it’s done.
There is an abruptness to the way in which the sentences read. We are forced to pause in places
as we try to connect the ideas between sentences. Now read the paragraph with the transitions
and cohesive ties that had been included in the original version.
Now it is the day of the operation. I stand by while the anaesthetist
administers the drugs, watch as the tense familiar body relaxes into narcosis.
I turn then to uncover the leg. There, upon her kneecap, she has drawn,
blindly, upside down for me to see, a face; just a circle with two ears, two
eyes, a nose and a smiling upturned mouth. Under it she had printed SMILE,
DOCTOR. Minutes later I listen to the sound of the saw, until a little crack
at the end tells me it is done.
(Source - Richard Selzer, ‘Why a Surgeon would Write’, in Mortal Lessons.)
If you look at the italicised words in the paragraph, you will observe that the transitions
and discourse connectives are of different type and function. However, the examples in this
paragraph are not illustrative of the entire range. Devices that can be used to create cohesion in
writing are the following.
1. The use of time markers: for example, now and while in line 1, then (line 3), minutes later
(line 6) and until (line7).
2. The use of demonstrative adjectives like this, that, those and such all perform similar
functions. In the extract written by Lawick-Goodall, we have examples of two of these.
Note the italicised words in the brief excerpt following.
Several such swarms emerge between October and January. It is principally

during these months that the chimpanzees feed on termites.
3. Repetition of a word or a phrase from a preceding sentence as well as the use of

synonyms. One effect of the use of this device is that it helps readers keep the subject
or topic idea in mind. In this way, they avoid the monotony of using the same word
repeatedly. Using pronoun reference and demonstratives also fulfil that function. If we
turn once again to the example from Hemingway in the last application, we note the
use of repetitions and synonyms to create cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
First, note the repetition of the word bull throughout the three paragraphs. This occurs
often enough to keep the reader focused on the subject. To avoid monotony, the writer
shifts at appropriate points to the use of personal pronouns, he, him, his as in the last line
of paragraph 2. Note also the use of darts for banderillos and the interchangeable use of
both of these words in the first and second paragraphs. The man is used for banderillaro
(paragraph 1), torero for matador (paragraph 3).
Another effect of using repetition and synonyms is to cement the connections between
the sentences within paragraphs and between one paragraph and another so the
relationships between them are clear to the reader.
4. Use of discourse and transitional markers. There is a common set of transitional

words that we often use at the beginning or close to the beginning of a sentence to
show its relationship to one that precedes it; we also use connectives to join clauses
in sentences. These connectives are and, but, or, nor. Other discourse markers can be
classified according to the functions that they serve in the text. You will recall that we
said that in a coherent paragraph we are able to follow the logic of the writer’s thoughts.
It is through the discourse markers that the writer can show the logical relationships
between one idea and another. Student writers sometimes write incoherently because
they have chosen an inappropriate discourse marker to join two clauses, or to show how
one sentence relates to another. In the following sentence, for instance, the use of an
inappropriate marker mars the logic. In companies such as these, the computer not only helps to
schedule weekly activities, and it also helps to keep a daily log of events. The use of “and” is not an
appropriate connective in this context. In the first clause the writer uses the construction
not only which calls for a parallel connective but also. The grammatical forms do not match
and the result is an odd sentence.
One can say, then, that to be a good writer, you must know the functions or appropriate
uses of the transitional or discourse markers. They are as follows.
(a) To signal temporal (time) relationships.

(Examples: first, second, then, afterwards, meanwhile. Note the examples listed in
1 above from the passage by Selzer.)
(b) To signal spatial (space) relationships.
(Examples: north, south, to the right, left of, in the distance, nearby ...)
(c) To introduce examples or illustrations.
(Examples: for example, for instance, specifically, to illustrate ...)
(d) To introduce comparisons.
(Examples: likewise, in the same way, similarly ...)
(e) To extend or add to a point or idea that has been already stated.
(Examples: in addition, furthermore, moreover ...)
(f) To introduce a qualification or to indicate a contrast.
(Examples: However, on the other hand, nevertheless ...)
(g) To signal concession.
(Examples: of course, surely, certainly, given that ...)
(h) To signal a conclusion.
(Examples: finally, thus, so, therefore, to conclude, in conclusion ...)
(i) To summarise.
(Examples: In summary, in conclusion, to sum up, in sum, in short, briefly ...)
Sometimes we can overuse of discourse markers. A paragraph with too many

therefores, thuses, sos can be extremely tedious to read and will have the effect of
marring the text just as a total lack of discourse markers will. They are not intended
for use between every sentence and clause. Judicious use of appropriate markers
within a paragraph will create the appropriate link that the writer needs and provide
the emphasis that helps to make a point clear that may not otherwise be so. In
Section Eight we again take up the topic of connectives. There we provide further
discussion and examples.
5. The use of parallel constructions. This is one other device that helps to create cohesion
in text. Parallel constructions are sentences or clauses with matching grammatical form.
Let us use the sentence that we presented in 4 to illustrate this. In companies such as these,
the computer not only helps to schedule weekly activities, but it also helps to keep a daily log of events.
The use of “not only” in the first clause sets up the expectation of a logical construct
of opposition. For instance, we say, not this but that; in positive constructions when we
want to indicate a series of things we say: this and that, but in negative constructions we
say not this, or this, or that. The connective that is logical in the context, then, is but, not
and. In Section Nine we discuss parallel constructions in greater detail.
Application: Transitional and Discourse Connectives

1. Return to one of the paragraphs that you wrote as a response to a question in one of the
early applications in this section. Check it carefully to determine whether it is coherent.
Do you use repetition where necessary to keep your reader on track? Have you used the
appropriate transitions and discourse markers to link sentences and ideas? Revise the
paragraph and any others to make them more coherent.
2. Here are two (slightly amended) paragraphs from the essay of a first-year student.
Read them to determine whether they are coherent, then write a commentary for the
student indicating the parts where the writer is able to effect smooth transitions between
sentences and ideas, and where coherence is lacking. Explain how the student might
improve coherence in the paragraph. Rewrite the paragraphs and include the devices that
would result in cohesion of the text and make any other amendments to the paragraph
that you think will improve it.
Before euthanasia can be legitimised a proper working definition for the act
must be agreed upon. Does a doctor withholding food from a patient whilst
administering medical treatment constitute mercy killing? Would assisting a
terminally ill person, who has not entered the rigours of the disease, to
commit suicide be classified as euthanasia? The general consensus world-wide
is that euthanasia connotes “killing” and not “allowing to die”. Euthanasia
may be defined as killing a person painlessly to release that person from
incurable suffering. The intent of the person collaborating in the act
should be investigated. Sanction has been given to a form of euthanasia by
the Swiss government, since the nineteen sixties. Under this federal code
lending assistance with a view to suicide is punishable if the assister is
impelled by selfish motives. In Switzerland a physician may provide, but not
administer, poison at the request of a suffering patient.
Arguments put forward for the legislation of euthanasia are of two main
types - psychological and economical. Studies have shown that in practice
younger persons are the ones who when suffering from brain damage, are put
on life support systems. For the friends and relatives of these patients
it is a traumatic experience for them to see their loved ones reduced to
lifeless bodies kept alive by machines. The ‘emotional turmoil increasing with
subsequent visits. Another scenario develops when the patient’s condition
results from an accident of some sort owing to the negligence of the third
party. In keeping the patient alive, the family members are provided with
a constant reminder of the third party’s negligence. Relatives may breed
feelings of anger and resentment towards the person responsible for the
accident. If euthanasia were constitutionalised families would be spared
such psychological hardships. The patient’s death would provide a chance for
the healing process to occur in the lives of relatives.
Add the following to the checklist that we have been developing to evaluate paragraphs, and use
the entire set to help you in making your commentary to the student.
• Is the development of thought clear from one sentence to another?

• Are transitions and discourse markers used where they are needed?
• Has the writer used too many discourse markers like therefore and so?
• Are the discourse markers that have been used the appropriate and logical ones that
Emphasis
should be used in these contexts?
•
What is emphasis and how does a writer create it in a paragraph? Most writers agree that emphasis
is giving prominence to the main idea and providing the appropriate amount of discussion for
the ideas in the paragraph based on their importance. In some ways, if one pays attention to
the other elements of paragraphing that we have discussed so far, one will be closer to creating
emphasis within the paragraph. How is this so? In addition to giving prominence, emphasis is
concerned primarily with two things. The first is with how much information we present about
the main or more important points and the less important or minor details in the paragraph; the
second is with the arrangement of these points in the paragraph to create the best effect.
It is easy for inexperienced writers to get sidetracked into lengthy discussions of minor details
because they seem to be interesting. This is not necessarily a bad thing always because sometimes
the supporting details have to be fully sketched out so that the full meaning of the main point
can be gleaned. However, it is when the discussion of the minor points takes over to the extent
that the main idea fades into obscurity and is no longer central that the paragraph becomes
lopsided as a result of faulty emphasis. One way of ensuring that this does not happen is to keep
the main points at the forefront so that the reader is clear as to what is more and less important
in the paragraph.
The way in which main and subordinate ideas are organised in the paragraph is the second
way in which emphasis can be created in a paragraph. Two of the procedures for developing
a paragraph that we have discussed in this section, namely, beginning and ending with the
topic sentence coincide with recommended placement of the main idea for creating emphasis.
Beginning a paragraph with the main idea is to begin boldly, to capture the reader’s interest and
emphasise the idea. Ending the paragraph with the topic sentence also contributes to emphasis.
A writer may have all the necessary ingredients for a good paragraph yet produce a dull piece
of writing because he or she has not shown the relative importance of the points in relation to
each other, and because the opening and closing sentences are lacklustre. We need to remember
that the last sentence is the one that will remain with the reader and we should therefore try to
let that sentence have a lasting impression. In order to do this, we need to make it emphatic. It is
also important to remember that emphasis must relate to content. If we write emphatic opening
and closing sentences that sound good but bear no relation to the content, they serve no useful
purpose and, in fact, mar the paragraph. The following are check questions we can add to the
checklist and use to review for emphasis.
• Does the paragraph begin and end with an emphatic sentence?

• Has sufficient prominence been given to the main point in the discussion?
• Are there any trivial details that clutter the paragraph and are distracting?
• Is the discussion of minor detail too extensive?
Application: Emphasis
Revise one of the paragraphs that you have written and check it for emphasis. Use the questions
as a guide.
Completeness
•
Completeness is the characteristic that writers consider at the end of drafting because it is like
checking a garment and tying off threads to ensure that it is well stitched. One gets a sense that
the discourse is finished and that the writer has said all that needed to be said. If the reader is
left with questions and has to fill in gaps of information, then the paragraph is too sketchy and
it is incomplete. The writer needs to determine whether enough examples and other supporting
information have been included. Like a badly made garment, a sketchy, incomplete paragraph
leaves one with a sense of dissatisfaction.
Look at the following paragraph which comes from the first draft of a composition by a first-
year student.
Learning about your vehicle and understanding the way it operates will help
you appreciate it and take care of it. Check your brakes before every journey
so you can stop in an emergency without inflicting harm on anyone.
The ideas are sketchy indeed. How, for example, does checking the brakes relate to the idea of
appreciation for the vehicle? How will understanding the way it operates lead one to take better
care of it? Much information is missing between the first and the second sentence. The writer
has not provided the linking ideas that the reader needs to get from the first to the second
sentence.
Application: Completeness
The example of the paragraph given above requires a great deal of revision. Not only is the
content sketchy, but most of the elements of good paragraph construction are missing. Here
are additional questions on completeness to add to the checklist. Use the complete list to guide
you in revising the paragraph.
Check questions for completeness.
• Have I provided all the information that is necessary to make the main point clear?
• Are the ideas in the paragraph brought to a natural, logical conclusion?
• Is the closing sentence appropriate/effective?
Beginning and Ending Paragraphs

•
Writers pay special attention to opening and closing paragraphs because they are, perhaps, the
ones likely to be best remembered. The opening paragraph is the reader’s first encounter with
the writer’s thought on the subject, and the way in which these thoughts are expressed determine,
to a large extent, whether the reader will continue reading the essay. Writers try to capture the
interest of readers by writing interesting and effective opening paragraphs. It is not surprising
that many writers find the opening paragraph one of the more difficult ones to write because
the witty, catchy first sentence, the apt quotation or the appropriate generalisation that will do
the trick is not always immediately obvious or forthcoming. Many writers work around the
difficulty of getting stuck with the drafting of the introductory paragraph by either writing it last
or writing down whatever ideas come to mind and by doing deep revision and rewriting after
they have completed the essay. One of the advantages of proceeding in this way is that writers
can produce a focused introduction to the essay. It is important to stress, however, that a strategy
that works well for one person may not work well for another. If you have difficulty getting
started, there are strategies that you can use to create good beginning and ending paragraphs.
Beginnings
The opening paragraph has the role of capturing the attention of the reader and of making clear
the main point of the essay. There are several traps that inexperienced writers fall into as they
try to find a starting point for their essays. One of these is the use of generalisations that are not
particularly insightful and are already well-known to the reader. A first-year student began an
essay with the following first paragraph.
Throughout his years of existence, man has always sought the easiest route to
a solution when faced with a problem. It is this love for ease and simplicity
that has been the driving force behind the invention of electrical machines.
Let us consider the early twentieth century and take a brief look at the
history of computing, then let us consider the uses of the computer and the
consequences of its use in the world society of today.
The first sentence is not particularly arresting. The second sentence goes on to make a point
about love of ease and simplicity, which implies something different from what was mentioned
in the first sentence. The rest of the paragraph goes on to say what the writer will consider
in the essay. Note the weak cohesion which results from inappropriate choice of discourse
connectives. This first paragraph also signals to readers that they can expect an essay with a
sprinkling of platitudes and unimportant observations. This is not an invitation to read further.
Another trap is stating the obvious as does the following example which also has other problems.
Driving a car is an experience. A novice can get into the driver seat of a
car and go places. In the driver seat you get this feeling of control whereby
you change the gears, turn the steering and apply the brakes. A good working
car does not entail much, providing it undergoes its annual services. Even
after a car has been serviced, it can still disappoint you. There are certain
things on a car that the average man or woman can fix.
Driving a car is an experience and so are most other things. Nothing new or interesting here.
What is the point about the novice and how does it relate to the rest of the paragraph? What
exactly is the focus of the paragraph? Here is another opening paragraph of an essay on the
effects of divorce on family life that the writer would have done well to rewrite.
For the past nineteen years of my life, proper morals, manners rules of
etiquette and positive vibes were constantly moulded in myself and my other
siblings by two very important role models:- my parents.
The writer has an idea that can make an interesting beginning but the expression and focus result
in another dull and seemingly pointless wordy and roundabout opening.
Another kind of opening that should be avoided is one which includes an apology from the
writer for his or her lack of knowledge about the subject. The following example from an essay
by a first-year student must have irritated the reader.
Genetic engineering is an interesting subject, especially to a science
student. However, since I am new to the field I cannot pretend that I know as
much as I should about the subject.
The reader is not likely to read beyond these first two sentences. The apology for limited
knowledge about the subject is likely to result in lack of confidence in the reader for anything
else that the student is likely to write in this essay. The suggestion we made at the beginning of
this section, namely, that the student should imagine himself or herself to be a teacher when he
or she writes would be useful to this writer who should perceive doing the required research as a
necessary task before writing. It would also suggest the need for finding an interesting angle for
presenting this subject. The reader is not likely to read an essay which rehashes old ideas, but an
essay that offers an original perspective on some aspect of the subject is likely to be of interest.
Apologising for inadequate information or knowledge is not an acceptable excuse; it were better
that the writer avoid writing on the subject altogether.
The students who penned the two following openings were more in tune with what is expected.
The first is from an essay on overpopulation.
In the thirty seconds it takes you to read this paragraph, some one hundred
and thirty-six live babies were born into the world, and although fifty-eight
people died during the same half minute, the world experienced a net increase
of eighty-eight new inhabitants.
We may question the statistics initially, but our interest is nevertheless captured.
In an essay with a topic Rules are rules, another student begins in the following way.
When you argue with a Bajan man, you may insult his intelligence, his
appearance or even his wife with impunity, but if you dread an encounter with
an evolving beast, do not mention his mother.
As reader, you wonder what this statement has to do with rules; you read on, and the writer’s
first objective is achieved.
There are several strategies that an unprofessional writer can use to create interesting beginnings.
We present some of them in the following pages.
(1) Use of quotation

Beginning with a quotation can provide the interesting opening that will attract the
reader’s attention. The writer must also choose the quotation carefully. A guiding
principle is that it must be relevant to the subject of the essay, and it should not itself be
dull because it will set a dull tone for the essay and turn the reader off. The following is
an example of the use of a quotation by a student writing on the topic God created man ...
and the media created women. The opening paragraph follows the quotation.
Look in the mirror. If you are a woman, what do you see?
A woman waxing a floor? Feeding children? Spraying her hair? Scribbling on a steno
pad? Gazing at a man with mixed reverence and awe? The simple mirrors that hang over
our bureaus and on the backs of closet doors only tell superficial things about ourselves.
The real-life mirrors are the media ...
(Source - L. Kosimar. “The image of women in advertising” in Woman in Sexist Society ..., ed.
by V. Gormic and B. Moran.)
The media do not simply mirror the images of women in society. On the
contrary, they more often create these images and attach subjective
values to them, the negative or positive nature of which depends largely
on the particular motives of those who control what we see, hear and read.
Helen C.
This student qualifies and extends the observation made in the quotation by indicating
her perspective of the issue, namely, that the media do not merely mirror images of
women but create and attach subjective values to them. This statement, which is also the
thesis statement, is elaborated in the rest of the essay.
(2) Use of a question
Another interesting way to begin is with a focused question. In his essay A Silver Dish,
Saul Bellow does this.
What do you do about death - in this case, the death of an old father?
The question at once indicates the focus of the essay and prepares us for the answer
which, in this case, is given in the form of a narration of a personal experience. The title
and the opening sentence catch the reader’s interest. All sorts of questions arise at the
first reading, for example, ‘What does a silver dish have to do with death?’ and the reader
is enticed to go on.
(3) Giving some important background information
Providing pertinent background information that establishes a point of departure for

the essay is another interesting way of opening. The following opening paragraph from
an essay by Antonio Damasio does this.
The early descriptions of prosopagnosia indicated that the condition
was associated with the bilateral damage to the occipital lobes. But
when after decades of neglect, there was a resurgence of interest in
prosopagnosia, several investigators conceptualized it as a sign of
unilateral damage of the right hemisphere.
(Source - Antonio Damasio, Face perception without recognition.)
(4) Use of anecdotes
Good stories are always appealing to listeners and readers. Anecdotes, or longer stories
used for illustrative purposes make good beginnings for essays and other kinds of
writing. However, as a good writer you must show the relationship between an anecdote
and the main point of the essay. It makes no sense to use an anecdote and then go on
without making further reference to it. Either explicitly or implicitly, the relevance of
the anecdote to the subject must be clear to the reader. The following appeared as an
opening for a chapter entitled “Our picture of the Universe”; it is an example of an
anecdote put to good use.
A well-known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell) once gave a
public lecture on astronomy. He described how the earth orbits around
the sun and how the sun, in turn, orbits around the center of a vast
collection of stars called our galaxy. At the end of the lecture, a little
old lady at the back of the room got up and said: “What you have told
us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of
a giant tortoise.” The scientist gave a superior smile before replying,
“What is the tortoise standing on?” “You’re very clever, young man, very
clever,” said the old lady. “But it’s turtles all the way down!”
,
(Source - Stephen Hawking, “Our Picture of the Universe” in A Brief History of Time Bantam Books,
1988.)
Hawking makes the connection between the anecdote and the rest of the essay with the
following sentence which begins the next paragraph.
Most people would find the picture of our universe as an infinite tower of tortoises
rather ridiculous, but why do we think we know better?
(5) Use of description
If well done, description can leave a strong impression as an opening for an essay. Isak
Dinesen uses description with good effect in an opening chapter from An Immigrant’s
Notebook.
In the reserve I have sometimes come upon the Iguana, the big lizards, as
they were sunning themselves upon a flat stone in a river bed. They are
not pretty in shape but nothing can be imagined more beautiful than their
coloring. They shine like a heap of precious stones or like a pane cut out
of an old church window. When, as you approach, they swish away, there is
a flash of azure, green and purple over the stones, the color seems to be
standing behind them in the air, like a comet’s luminous tail.
(Source - Isak Dinesen, Out of Africa, London, Penguin Books, 1954.)
(6) Use of definition
While definition is an effective opening, one has to be careful to use relevant and
interesting definitions and not those that are overused or obvious to the reader. Use of
definition as an opening is common, and it should be easy to find several examples.
Application: Beginnings
1. Use of definition (6) and (7) providing interesting detail about the subject is another
strategy for creating interesting beginnings. Conduct a survey of various texts including
those used in your courses and find at least one example of (4) and (6). Look also for
examples of the other strategies discussed in this chapter.
2. Return to the first two examples of opening paragraphs written by students that we
included in this chapter. Both of these paragraphs need a significant amount of work.
The topics for the paragraphs are The computer, and Knowing your automobile. (a) Write
a critique consisting of one paragraph on each of these openings, pointing out their
shortcomings. (b) Revise the topics, (c) state a clear thesis for each topic and rewrite
the paragraphs using anyone of the strategies discussed in this chapter for creating
interesting openings. Use the questions below and other relevant ones from the checklist
we have been developing to evaluate the paragraphs that you rewrite.
•
The following are points that the student writer should keep in mind about the opening paragraph.
• It should be interesting and aim to capture the reader’s attention.

• It should indicate the focus of the essay through explicit or implicit thesis statement.
• It should avoid trite observations, worn out generalisations and the use of platitudes.
The use of the following questions can be added to the checklist for paragraphs.
• Does the opening paragraph present the main issue of the essay?
• Is the opening paragraph interesting?
• Is the strategy that I have used appropriate and effective? (if one has been used)
• Is the strategy relevant to the subject of my essay? If it isn’t how can I make it so?
Endings
For much of the writing that we do it is not always necessary to create special effects in a
concluding paragraph. Most of our closings come naturally, after we have said all that we
want and need to say on the subject. In descriptive and expository discourse in particular, a
well-constructed last sentence that closes off appropriately often suffices. However, the final
paragraph draws as much attention as the opening one, and for this reason we pay special
attention to it and decide whether a formal closing paragraph in which we use a strategy to create
a special effect will be better than a straightforward closing. There is a list of “prohibitions” that
are responsible for dull and uninteresting endings and they should be avoided. Each item in the
following list that we present should be prefaced with the words.
DO NOT
(1) ... introduce new ideas into the closing paragraph. This is one of the first things that we
are taught in composition class in secondary school. If it was not possible to address all
the points adequately in the body of the essay, then it is pointless to mention them in the
closing paragraph. This only conveys the impression that the essay is unfinished, that the
writer rushed the ending, and this can be confusing for the reader. This is not to say, of
course, that the writer cannot make an inference in the last paragraph that is based on
the material that was presented in the body of the essay. Such an inference can provide
a new insight that the writer may choose to share deliberately at that point to leave the
reader with something further to think about.
(2) ... restate the entire thesis which was expressed at the beginning of the essay. Repeating
the thesis verbatim can be boring and dull. However, you can restate the main point in
different words, or provide a brief summary of the main points of a particularly long
paper in which the writer may have some difficulty recalling the significant ones in a
lengthy discussion. The student who wrote the opening paragraph to the essay “Know
Your Automobile” concluded the essay with the following closing paragraph.
Learn about your vehicles. Apart from gaining knowledge about cars you
will know what to do when you are in a situation where knowledge of your
car will help you.
Although this restatement of the ideas presented in the opening paragraph uses different
words, the main point is restated in such a flat and uninteresting way that the reader is
not likely to pay much attention to them. This brings us to the third prohibition.
(3) ... end flatly or with an anticlimax or with an unfinished thought that leaves the reader
with several unanswered questions. In the essay on the effects of divorce on family life,
the opening paragraph of which was included on page 201 the student concluded with
the following:
Different situations arise, different and special cases, but the extent of
emotional and sometimes physical damage is not worth it.
Several ideas are missing here, but as a closing, one wonders why different situations and special
cases are mentioned if the writer has said nothing about them in the body of the essay and
seems to have no intention of saying anything further about them here. In fact, they are new
ideas and should be left out altogether. Further, the thought that is expressed about these is not
finished; we are not sure to what it refers. Is it staying with the marriage? The writer leaves us
dissatisfied because we have to be guessing at what is being suggested in the final paragraph.
The last point we want to mention is not so much a prohibition as a caution. We have discussed
the usefulness of using appropriate transitional flags and discourse markers. However, the use
of these can sometimes be done to death, and never more so than in signalling our closings. We
caution that it is not always necessary to end with “in conclusion” or “to sum up” or “my last
word on this is” because inclusion of these can mar what may be an otherwise natural effective
closing paragraph.
What, then, are effective ways of closing? Positing the opposite of the points 1, 2, and 3 would
constitute satisfactory approaches. However, as with openings, there are strategies that a writer
can use. For the most part, these are identical with the ones we have suggested for openings.
For example, the use of a question can make an effective closing. The student (Helen C.), whose
opening paragraph to the essay on women and the media we included on page 202, ended her
essay with the following paragraph.
The evidence to prove the media’s manipulation of society’s image of women
and their own perception of what they should be, wear, and how they should
act is undeniably overwhelming. Every image carries a subtle or explicit
message which in the majority of cases seek to undermine the advancement of
women in the world. All in all, it seems that the media have not got the
message sent by women - our progress means the progress of the human race; we
are equal partners in a changing world, not sex objects, bitches and passive
helpmates of men. After all, where would science be if all Marie Curie could
think about was serving her husband or curling her hair?
Not only is the question used effectively, it incorporates a good example of a woman who
portrayed a different image from those presented in the media and with which Helen takes issue
in her essay.
Some writers end effectively with the use of a quotation as in this example from a professional
writer.
Lawlessness and debauchery accompanied the plague as they had during the
great plague of Athens of 430 b.c., when according to Thucydides, men grew
bold in the indulgence of pleasure: “For seeing how the rich died in a
moment and those who had nothing immediately inherited their property, they
reflected that life and riches were alike transitory and they resolved to
enjoy themselves while they could.” Human behaviour is timeless. When St.
John had his vision of plague in Revelation, he knew from some experience or
race memory that those who survived “repented not of the work of their hands
... Neither repented they of their murders, nor of their sorceries, nor of
their fornication, not of their thefts.”
(Source - Barbara Tuchman. “This is the End of the World: the Black Death”, in A Distant Mirror: The
Calamitous 14th Century, Alfred K. Knopf Inc., 1978.)
The point that you must bear in mind is that the closing of the essay, whether formal or not,
must be satisfactory, and the reader must feel that the essay or article has been brought to a
natural and effective conclusion.
Add the following questions to the checklist and use them in your evaluation.
• Does the closing paragraph merely repeat the words of the opening paragraph?
• Is the ending complete and satisfying?
ASSIGNMENT
Beginning and ending paragraphs
1. The following are the opening and closing paragraphs of two essays written by first-year
students. The thesis of each composition is given. Evaluate each sample and write a
commentary for the student in which you do the following:
(a) comment on the effectiveness of the opening and closing

(b) make suggestions for ways of improving them (if you think this is necessary)
(c) comment on the use (or lack of use) of transitional and discourse markers within
the paragraphs and indicate how these can be used to link the ideas more effectively.
Sample 1.
Thesis: In a civilized society, the death penalty has no place. It is

cruel and inhumane punishment.
OPENING:
When I hear about some of the heinous crimes committed, like the rape
and murder of an eight year old girl in Barbados, the hacking to pieces
of an elderly lady in New Jersey, or the bombing in Oklahoma, I get
angry too. However, I do not support the death penalty since unlike
many individuals who see no other suitable punishment for such crimes, I
believe that demanding the death penalty makes us no more civilized than
the perpetrators.
CLOSING:
Considering the lack of basis for the death penalty as a deterrent
against crime, the unlikelihood of fair and equitable administration of
punishment, the effect on the executioner, and above all, the degrading,
cruel and inhumane act of implementing death, there is no place in a
civilized society for the death penalty.
Doleen B.
Sample 2.
Thesis: The basic causes of overpopulation are natural increase, culture

and immigration, which lead to negative effects on the economy and the
environment, although family planning, education and de-urbanization are
some solutions to reduce these problems.
OPENING:
In the thirty seconds it takes you to read this paragraph, some one
hundred and thirty six live babies were born into the world, and although
some forty-eight people died during the same half minute, the world
thus experienced a net increase of eighty-eight new inhabitants. This
translates into an addition of about ninety-three million people each
year, on a planet which in 1993 had an estimated population of 5572 million
inhabitants. The basic causes of overpopulation are natural increase,
culture and immigration, which lead to negative effects on the economy and
the environment, although education, family planning and de-urbanization
are some solutions to reduce these problems.
CLOSING:
Everyone is a member of a given population, as such, overpopulation affects

each and every one of us in one way or another. It affects every facet of
life, from where we live to what we eat and under what conditions this is
done, to how much housing, employment opportunities and food production
is needed in future years. It is predicted that by the year 2025, the
world’s population will exceed 9.1 billion inhabitants.8 Imagine that,
with a present population of 5572 billion, there is so much desolation
and despair! What will happen in the next thirty years with even more
inhabitants in a world that cannot physically expand to meet the needs of
the individuals already on it?
Amanda J.
Following, we have listed all the checklists that we have introduced on the paragraph. Most of
them are also relevant for evaluating longer extracts.
Checklists for Use During Drafting

• Does the topic present the subject in an interesting and fresh way?
• Does the thesis statement make specific points about a specific subject?
• Does the thesis statement indicate the central idea of the paragraph/composition?
• Does the thesis statement reflect my original thoughts about the subject?
• Is the language of the thesis statement clear and grammatically accurate?
• Does the thesis statement include more points than I can cover in the composition?
• Is the thesis statement superficial? How can I make it more substantial?
• Is/Are the topic sentence(s) of the paragraph(s) clear?
• Is/Are the topic sentence(s) interesting and lively?
• Does each topic sentence give an indication of the focus of the paragraph?
• Is the topic sentence placed in the most effective position in the paragraph?
• If there is no explicit topic sentence, is the main or controlling idea clear from the rest
of the paragraph?
• Do the supporting points relate to, clarify, explain and illustrate the topic sentence?
• Are the supporting details interesting?
• Do the supporting details serve to make the main point clear to the reader?
• Are the supporting details merely listed, or are they integrated into the discussion?
• Is the sequence or order in which I present the ideas logical/consistent?
• Does the order I have chosen allow me to present the details in the most effective way?
• Is the development of thought clear from one sentence to another?
• Do I use transitions and discourse markers where they are needed (within sentences and
paragraphs, between paragraphs)?
• Have I used too many discourse markers like therefore, so?
• Are the discourse markers that I have used the appropriate and logical ones for the
contexts?
• Does/Do the paragraph(s) begin and end with an emphatic sentence?
• Have I given prominence to the main point in my discussion?
• Are there any trivial details that clutter the paragraph and are they distracting?
• Is the discussion of minor details too extensive?
• Have I provided all the information that is necessary to make the main point clear?
• Do I bring the ideas in the paragraph (and essay) to a natural, logical conclusion?
• Is the closing sentence appropriate and effective?
17
Writing inRewriting
English Writing inStrategies
English Writing in EnglishWriting in English WritingWriting in English Writ-
In the overview of the writing process at the beginning of this section we said that rewriting
consists of three main activities, rewriting, proofreading and editing. It also includes the actual
rewriting of a fair copy. Writers sometimes find it difficult to stand back and review their writing
objectively. In order to review our writing objectively we need to be critical readers, to ask
ourselves questions, and to subject the writing to the same rigorous analysis that we apply to
the writing of others. We must also be willing to be ruthless, to pare the text and remove words
and sentences that sound good to our ears if they serve no useful purpose in the text. Getting a
second and third opinion is always helpful. We suggest peer editing as a procedure that can help
you revise in a more focused way. Sharing, or allowing a classmate or some other person to read
your work and discuss it with you, can lead you to a new perspective of the writing. Professional
writers usually have a support group (one or two people) on whom they rely for honest feedback.
Another suggestion is that you learn to develop your abilities as a critical reader. This means
that you have to be able to stand back from your writing and analyse it as you would the writing
of another. You must be able to evaluate the content, to determine whether it is sufficiently
informative and substantial; the logic to determine whether it is sound; the usefulness of
strategies that you have used and so on. A third suggestion is that you learn to become a good
editor. You must be able to spot the errors of grammar, spelling and mechanics, to find the
awkward sentence and to change it, to spot monotony of expression and to vary the sentence
structure and diction. The activities and exercises in this and subsequent sections of this text will
help you to develop these abilities.
It is necessary to make one further comment on the process we have described. Proficiency
is not immediate. Do not think that you can develop one essay using the strategies we have
suggested and that the old habits will automatically disappear. Professional writers with years
of experience have developed their abilities over time, and for most, writing is still a recursive
process. They return to parts that they have written and refine them. They may not necessarily
apply the stages in the sequence in which we have presented them, but they revise and rewrite.
These are necessary steps to better final products.
Sharing
Several instructors of writing provide opportunities for sharing as a normal class routine. They
may ask you to form small groups or work in pairs for the purpose of reading and evaluating
each other’s writing. They may also provide you with an assessment sheet with specific points
to look for. As a reviewer of your classmates’ work you function as a peer editor and you will
be required to give your honest opinion of the paper that you have read. Your opinion will not
be sought if you consistently offer trite or superficial remarks that do not help your classmate
to think critically about the work or if you tactlessly make negative judgements about it. It
usually helps if you can mention specifics and make concrete suggestions for improvement. The
following are examples of excerpts of comments that were made on a paper by two different
student editors.
1. This paper is confused. By the time I got to the end of the second
paragraph I had lost sight of the thesis. The writer did not seem to have
a controlling idea to begin with and therefore tried to cover up the
inadequacies of content by putting in several pointless examples that add
clutter to an already disorganized piece of writing. I suggest that the
writer scrap this paper and try for something different.
2. The writer has some good ideas in this paper, but they are isolated and it
is difficult to see how one relates to another. Perhaps a clear statement
of the purpose of the essay at the beginning will help the writer to find
the direction he wants to go in. I liked many of the examples that the
writer used, but it was hard to separate the important details from the
not so important ones. Perhaps if the writer tried to pick out the main
ideas for the essay and work each one in a separate paragraph that might
help. I liked the anecdote in the fourth paragraph, and I think that the
writer can use it earlier to make the point. Its effect is minimised,
I think, because of where it is in the essay.... The sentences are
grammatical so the writer will have to work mostly on organizing the ideas
to get a better paper.
If you were the writer of the paper, which of these two comments would you be more willing
to accept and more likely to make use of ? Why?
As a peer editor your goal is to give objective and helpful feedback. Just as you ask questions
of yourself as a writer (see the checklists throughout the text), you also ask questions of the
essay you are asked to read. The following checklist is a guide for the main areas with which you
should be concerned. The answers you come up with will form the basis for your commentary.
1. Reader’s reaction
• What is my main reaction to this paper?

• What are the strengths of the paper?
• Are there any weaknesses? What are they?
• Have I gained any new insights from reading this paper?
2. Content
• Does the writer cover this topic adequately? Is the writer aiming to do too much or
too little in this paper?
Rewriting Strategies 211
• Is the topic too broad or too narrow?

• Is there a clear controlling idea? Is it explicitly stated or is it implicit?
• Are the ideas in this paper original?
• Are the ideas creative?
• Is the focus that the writer has used for this paper appropriate?
• Is the interpretation of the topic sensible?
• Does the writer use sufficient examples (illustrative material/evidence) to support
the main point(s) made in this essay?
• Are the examples relevant?
• Do the examples enrich the paper or are they presented in a way that distracts (and
detracts from) the paper?
• Are the ideas substantial – or are they superficial?
3. Structure and organisation
• Are the ideas (sentences, points) within paragraphs organised logically?
• Are the paragraphs in the best, most logical order?
• Is the organisation effective overall?
• Is the paper brought to a natural, suitable and satisfying closing?
• Is the conclusion drawn (if any) logical? Does it emerge as a natural logical
consequence of the discussion (and arguments) presented in the body of the essay?
4. Style, grammar and diction
• Are the sentences of this essay clear and meaningful?
• Do the sentences present a logical development of thought? Do they flow smoothly
within paragraphs?
• Does the writer use transitional and discourse markers to link the ideas in and
between sentences and paragraphs?
• Are the discourse and transitional markers appropriate for the contexts in which
they are used?
• Are all the words used in the essay meaningful in the contexts in which they occur?
• Are there any examples of misuse of words?
• Does the writer use a small number of words repeatedly – or is the diction varied
and interesting?
• Are all the sentences well-formed? Are the correct grammatical structures used?
• Does the writer observe parallelism of structure where it is required?
• Does the writer use tense and aspect in a consistent way? Is there logic to the time
reference in the paper?
• Does the writer select the appropriate register (or voice) for this paper? Would
another be better suited to the subject and the audience for whom it is intended?
• Is the tone of this paper appropriate?
5. Spelling and mechanics
• Are all the words in this essay spelled correctly?

• Has the writer used punctuation marks correctly? Are they included in the correct
places?
• Does the writer use capital letters in the appropriate places?
• Has the writer indicated in the appropriate way all quotations used?
• Has the writer cited all the references (sources for examples, statistics, ideas, direct
quotations and so on)?
No doubt, as you read through the checklist you realised that they are useful as self edit checklists
also. You can apply them to your own work after you have completed a first draft in the same
way that you would use them to evaluate the writing of a classmate.
Sharing your work implies an exchange of some sort, so, we want to stress the reciprocal
nature of the evaluation exercise. It might be useful for the writer of the paper to list some
specific questions that he or she wants the peer editor to address. The questions may relate
to an uncertainty about a part of the essay or to choice of topic or something of this nature.
The student whose work is being evaluated is likely to be wary of the procedure the first time,
but it will help if an open attitude is maintained, and the student tries not to be defensive. A
defensive attitude may prevent you from giving serious consideration to a perceptive comment
or suggestion. Of course, you do not have to accept every comment that is made on the paper.
In fact, you may disagree with several of the opinions that are expressed. It is your essay and
you have the final word on what goes into it. You should therefore make use of only those
comments that you think will help you improve your paper. Further, it is not fair to expect your
peers to write your paper for you, and you should not submit for peer evaluation work that is
unfinished or sketchily developed. Remember that the goals of peer editing are (1) to help you
respond to criticism in a positive way so that you benefit from it and (2) to help you become a
better critical reader of your own writing and that of others.
Application: Peer Editing

1. The following is a complete commentary written by a first-year student during a peer
editing activity. Read it carefully and comment on the observations made and the advice
given by the student. Try to determine the following: (a) Is the student being objective
in this assessment? Do you detect any biases? (b) Does the peer editor comment on the
significant points in the essay? (c) Does the peer editor cover all the relevant points in the
checklist? (d) Are the register and tone of the commentary appropriate? (e) Is the peer
editor tactful?
Commentary on an essay entitled An Unforgettable Experience
My initial reaction to your essay was that it did not move smoothly.
Since I was not au fait with most of the jargon used, I found that I was
repeatedly re-reading the same sentence to get a better understanding.
By not tying in the relationship of the loud music, obscene language and
over-crowding to other ZRs, you seemed to be implying that these themes
were exclusive to ZR119.
Your strong points were the logical sequence of embarking to disembarking

and your emphatic conclusion. However, the overuse of informal words,
lack of concrete terms and your limited description rendered your essay
weak and vague. Too much was left to my interpretation. Your feelings
about the experience did not come through except at the end where you
vowed not to ride in ZR119 again after three o’clock. As a result of lack
of personal input and description, your essay was more of a narrative than
an observation.
Organization: Your sequence was logical since you included movement in

time from your boarding the bus to your getting off, highlighting major
stops along the way. I was not keen on the introductory sentence because
it did not appeal to a wider audience. A better possible beginning would
have been where the ten children rushed to the van since overcrowding
seemed to be the main idea. If overcrowding is your thesis then the
emphasis on the music downplayed it - except you find a way to alert your
audience that the music was a reason for the overcrowding.
The body of your essay, though it had a few highlights was weakened by
your lack of description. The title of your essay does not live up to its
name. Including your personal feelings would have made this experience
memorable - otherwise it is an everyday happening. Your conclusion,
however, was strong and emphatic.
Content: Your essay was too limited in description; considering that it

was to be an observation. One example was where you gave an exciting
build-up about the conductor’s ring and then let it fizzle into an anti-
climax without telling us about the inscription on the ring.
Where you stated “there was nothing glamorous about this van” a description
would have been appropriate and interesting. In the scene with the
conductor and the policeman, a little conversation or informative summary
of their conversation would have been better. Your summary ”no amount of
begging could convince the officer not to report him” left us guessing
as to what happened. The initial conversation between the driver and
conductor could be omitted except the purpose of it is later explained.
Style: I found your language to be too general. More concrete words would
have strengthened your essay, [examples are provided by the peer editor]
The slang was overused. Formal words work better while commenting though
slang is okay in conversation. You need to omit the unnecessary words
like “actually raised the volume” and “if possible their language...” You
vaguely touched on the senses but they could have been used to strengthen
your essay - for example smell and touch.
Grammar and word choice: You use vivid words that conjure up the desired
effect in the reader’s mind [examples provided]
Overall comment: I think you need to rethink and rework this essay in
terms of language, style, description and content. Such corrections would
make this interesting subject of ZRs come alive in your reader’s mind, to
match your conclusion. (Peer editor, Doleen B.)
2. The following is an essay written by a student in a first-year writing course. Use the
editing checklist provided in this chapter to help you write a commentary for the student.
Be tactful and be sure to indicate the strengths and weaknesses of the paper.
Title: The Computer
Thesis: Let us consider the early twentieth century and take a brief look
at the history of computing; then let us consider the uses of the computer
and the consequences of its use in the world society today.
Throughout his years of existence, man has always sought the easiest
route to a solution when faced with a problem. It is this love for ease
and simplicity that has been the driving force behind the invention of
electronic machines. Let us consider the early twentieth century and take
a brief look at the history of computing, then let us consider the uses
of the computer and the consequences of its use in the world society of
today.
The history of computing evolved based on two fundamental ideas, the

mechanization of arithmetic and the stored program concept.1
Arithmetic was mechanized almost as soon as it was recognised as a

computing discipline. From ancient civilizations to as late as the early
twentieth century, mechanical devices such as the quipas, the abacus and
the slide rule were used to assist in computing. These mechanical devices
later gave way to devices such as the Pascal adder, and the Leibniz
calculator which were able to perform some or all of the basic arithmetic
operations, addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Next came
the concept of the stored program.2
The second fundamental idea in the history of computing emerged in

the form of a weaving loom which used metal cards punched with holes
to position threads for the weaving process. A group of such cards

consequently made up a program which directed the weaving of the loom
and which enabled its operation to be fully automatic. These cards were
then applied to other machines giving them too automatic operations.3 As
the years passed, the two fundamental ideas of computing were combined
giving rise to various types of machines, which, by means of stored
instructions and information, performed rapid often complex calculations
or rapidly compiled, correlated and selected data, such machines came to
be known as computers. Such machines were first mechanical then they became
electronic, next the electronic computers were made even more efficient
by improvements in the way they accepted information, processed it and
returned it to their user and thus were referred to by the term “modern
computers”.4
The scope of the use of the modern computer extends to all aspects of
life, indeed sometimes to its very existence and sustenance. Let us now
consider some of the uses of the computer today.
Whilst when it first appeared in 1946, the computer was used mainly in
commercial enterprises to perform calculations and to store data, it is
now used in the retailing business, in banks, offices, travel agencies and
libraries to perform similar functions. In these businesses the computer
not only assists in the control of daily activities but it also assists
in storing personal information, maintaining employee records, keeping
updated files of accounts payable and receivable and keeping a record of
stock.5
The computer is also used in industry where it can monitor the processes
deemed to occur for certain products to be produced. It can also be used
in a similar manner in hospitals where a patient’s condition may need to
be continuously monitored.6
The field of artificial intelligence is also another area where the use
of the computer is invaluable. Here computer systems are designed which
exhibit characteristics associated with human intelligence, eg. Learning
deductive reasoning, problem solving, the recognition of visual images
and language understanding. Such systems are able to provide service by
manipulating objects analyzing problems and providing advice.7
In the medical field, computers are used extensively when making diagnosis
of a patient’s condition. This is done by the provision of visual images,
scans and the results of some tests which would have been impossible to
acquire without the aid of a computerized system.8
Alas, the computer has made a significant impact on the world today, both
for the better and for the worse. Let us examine some of the consequences
of the computer’s use upon our world society.
The use of the computer has resulted in both good and bad consequences.
Some of those good consequences are: the constant availability of updated
records and files; the ability of business places to have transactions
occurring outside of normal working hours; the lowering of safety hazards
by instituting a computer system in industry where manual labour once
was; the ability to keep employee records and records of stock without
much paper to be filed; the ability to provide constant watchcare to a
patient; being able to simulate (using computer aided design) a real
life situation in a model when designing ships, roads, automobiles and
electric circuits; and being able to keep records of reservations, and
accounts. In these cases, the absence of the computer provided much risk
to man or simply so much “paper work” that a task was often avoided or
thought of as a logical impossibility.9
Some bad consequences of the computer’s use have mostly played on the
psychological and social side of the society. Such include: less “family
time” as the computer becomes the “babysitter” of the family; a loss
of intuition as solving problems become limited to the problem solving
cases of the computer and not the real-world; a loss of jobs for those
people who are apt to do manual labour; a quickened pace of information
processing and a consequent “up-beat” way of life to which most persons
are unable to mentally adapt.
In the future, the computer will no doubt continue to be adjusted and

maintained, being able to perform even more complex tasks. Already its
efficiency and reliability has caused it to be the most sought after
commodity in each individual’s home, second only to cash. In effect, it has
been man’s usher from the industrial age into this age of technology and
information revolution and it will no doubt be the forerunner into many
other heights of the process called technological development. (Alison
S.)
References:
1. Kalicharan, Noel. An Introduction to Computer Studies. New York. Press syndicate of the
University of Cambridge, 1989.
2. Webster’s New Twentieth Century Dictionary of the English Language. Unabridged, 2nd ed.
William Collins Publishers Inc. 1979.
3. Nyhoff, Larry, and Sandford Leestma. Pascal Programming and Problem Solving. Fourth edition.
New York: Macmillan Publishing Company. 1993.
4. Galler, Bernard A. “Computer” McGraw Hill Encyclopedia of Science and Technology. Volume
•
4. 1987 ed. 259-261
Revising Main or Macroscopic Elements

Too often when students revise, they read over their work superficially, changing only the glaring
grammatical and spelling errors, but hardly modifying the ideas or the organisation. Revision
is the stage at which a mediocre paper can be transformed into a good one. However, such a
transformation comes from deep revision of the major (or macroscopic) elements of the paper,
and from thorough editing of the microscopic elements. It is better to distance yourself from
the writing before revising, as we have suggested in an earlier chapter in this section. In order to
be able to make the kinds of changes that will result in the improvement of the paper, you must
be able to look at the work objectively, and this will happen after you have achieved distance
from the work. The checklists that we provide in this section will help you to revise your writing
thoroughly. We recommend the approach to revision as a two-part process as this will help you
to focus initially on the specific aspects of the paper as you gain skill and experience in using
rewriting strategies.
A revision of the macroscopic elements of the text involves an examination of the content and
its organisation. In the chapter on outlining, we mentioned that some writers use the formal
outline to examine the content of their work after they have completed a first draft. This is one
way of determining whether the draft is complete or whether there are information gaps that
you need to fill. It also allows you to check the order in which the ideas are presented and to see
more easily where changes need to be made than if you attempted to reread the essay sentence
by sentence. Using checklists in conjunction with outlines is therefore likely to result in a more
thorough revision.
Beyond checking for order and information gaps it is important to check the internal logic
of the ideas. In this chapter we outline some checks for logical consistency of ideas, and in
Section Ten we present checks for the grammar and sentence structure. When we test for logic,
we look for common fallacies that are found in both argumentative and expository discourse.
Here, we present a sketch of those that we often find in our students’ essays; we will provide an
elaboration of the full set in the section on argument.
1. Oversimplification: This is one of the more common fallacies in which a writer (or
speaker) presents a simple, one-sided solution to what, in reality, is a complex problem.
For instance, a student’s solution to drug trafficking in Barbados is the following.
There is no doubt that the ‘drug mules’ contribute significantly to the
problem. They are often difficult to detect because they are well-dressed
“respected” individuals who seem set for a genuine holiday or a serious
business meeting. Since their dress seems to be the factor that allows
them to blend with the crowd there is no easy way of detecting the bags
of marijuana and cocaine that are strapped to strategic parts of their
anatomies. In this case it seems that the authorities have no choice but
to strip search all those who arrive here from recognised drug trafficking
countries. This is a sure way to catch the perpetrators.
The writer‘s remarks about how drugs are hidden and the dress of the “drug mules”
may be accurate; but how practical and realistic is the solution presented? It is simplistic
at best and does not consider other possible alternatives that may exist. Is the answer to
the problem this simple?
2. Either-or Reasoning is the kind of oversimplification that allows one to assume that
only one of two extremes is possible. This kind of thinking does not allow for a choice
other than one of the two extremes. Here is an example.
The trend towards ethnic cleansing tells us that groups are no longer willing to tolerate
the differences that they were forced to accept under the repressive rule of totalitarian
governments. To ask what is the solution to the conflict between the Serbs and the
Muslims in Croatia is to ask the obvious. The solution is either to return to the repression
of a totaliarian state under which both groups will survive or to permit them to resolve
the conflict in the only way that they know how, through war in which one or both will
be destroyed.
3. Drawing a Hasty or False Conclusion (the non sequitur): The English translation of
the Latin term which means “it does not follow” gives us indication of another kind
of error in logic that is common in students’ writing. Stating a false claim or drawing
a hasty conclusion often happens when we either do not have sufficient evidence or
support for the conclusion, or when we have the support but fail to work through it and
its implications. One often hears reasoning like this in everyday life, as in the following
example.
Situation: Frances sees Lucy sometimes when Lucy walks by her house on her warm-up
for her run. Frances decides she would like to walk with Lucy because this will give her
the motivation for going every day. One morning she stops Lucy and says: “My name is
Frances. I see you when you walk by and I need to lose weight. I’d like to go walking with
you. Call me when you pass by tomorrow.” Lucy says “I usually run quite a distance.”
Frances runs off saying “Call me.” Lucy does not call Frances the next morning or on
any subsequent morning. Peeved, Frances gives this account to a friend of hers: “I asked
her to call me when she goes walking in the morning, but she never called me. I suppose
she thinks she’s too important to walk with the likes of me. Since she lives in that big
house on the hill and I’m down here she feels she can’t waste time with me.”
Frances is guilty of drawing a hasty conclusion. Think of other plausible reasons for
Lucy not calling her to accompany her on her walk.
4. Contradiction: It is easy to detect contradictions in short discourse but it may be

overlooked in longer essays. Contradiction occurs when we make a statement that is
opposite to another that we made before. The following example of a contradiction
comes from a student’s essay.
Most societies have laws that are based on the belief that taking a
human life deliberately is morally wrong, although the courts seem to
suggest degrees of wrongness by having different charges for murder and
manslaughter. Even so, the basic idea that it is wrong prevails. Based
on this, we can say that hanging those who are convicted of murder is
morally wrong.
Towards the end of the essay the student writes the following:
There are extenuating circumstances such as lack of remorse by the
murderer. In such cases hanging seems to be a fair alternative and is
acceptable.
The question is, can hanging be both morally wrong and “acceptable” which seems
to imply “not wrong”? A revision of the argument would help to clarify the writer’s
position on the issue.
5. Overgeneralisation
When we make a generalisation we do so, on the basis of an examination of several cases.

Our generalisation, which is a statement about the entire class based on the examples we
have examined, can then be taken to be representative of the class. However, when we
over generalise, we make a statement based on insufficient evidence. Here is an example
of this kind of reasoning.
I have been a student monitor in this writing group from the beginning
of the year. Every student I have worked with uses faulty grammar. The
majority of their grammar errors seem to reflect creole structures. This
shows that they probably think in creole when they write Standard English.
Other monitors tell me that they find the same thing in their groups.
I really think that first year students at this university cannot write
better essays in Standard English because they think in creole.
Do all students think in Creole? Do all have the problem described by the monitor?
One way of avoiding overgeneralisations is to match the generalisation to the amount
of evidence that is available. For instance, in this case it would be better to restrict the
comment by using a qualification such as “some first year students”.
In addition to checks for logic, revision of the content must also involve an examination
of the ideas presented to determine whether they are sufficiently substantial or too
flimsy. If the ideas are sketchy you will need elaboration that is based on substance, and
this means you will have to conduct further research and read around the subject.
Revision of the organisation of ideas involves looking at the placement or ordering

of the paragraphs and sentences in the essay. You need to ask yourself whether the
ordering of the ideas is the most logical or whether the essay would make better sense if
you started at a different point, say, the middle paragraph. If you make the change, the
order of the other paragraphs will have to be changed. Moving chunks of text around
to create coherence and fluency is something which writers do when they revise deeply.
Reading the paper aloud before and after you make the changes will give you a sense as
to which is the better order. Also, using formal outlines of both versions will help you
to make a judgement based on the comparison of both sequences as they appear in the
outlines. The following checklist can be used as a guide for content. You should add it to
the other points listed under content (item 2) in the checklist given earlier in this chapter.
Checklist for Content and Logic of Ideas

• Are there other sides to the argument I have presented in this paper?
• Is the conclusion that I have drawn too simplistic?
• Does the evidence that I have presented support the conclusion?
• Is my interpretation of the evidence sound? Did I make the correct inferences?
• Are there any contradictions in my argument?
• Have I made any sweeping generalisations which are not substantiated by the information
(evidence) I have presented?
Application: Revising Macroscopic Elements
1. For each of the examples of errors of reasoning presented at 1 through 5 in this chapter,
(a) point out the flaws in the argumentation and (b) rewrite each to correct these flaws.
2. Choose any essay that you have written recently and revise it deeply to improve the
content and organisation. Use the checklists provided in this section as a guide. Rewrite
the essay.
Revising Microscopic Elements

•
After you have revised the major elements of the paper, return to it to revise the microscopic
elements. In Section Ten we provide explanations and examples of grammatical elements of the
language. Refer to that section when you revise the microscopic elements of your paper. You will
be concerned with the following as you do so.
1. Sentence structure – ensuring that the sentences are
(a) grammatical, that the correct tenses are used
(b) that there is subject and verb agreement
(c) that pronouns agree with antecedents
2. Clarity and exactness of expression – ensuring that
(d) you observe parallelism of grammatical structure
(e) the diction is appropriate and that you do not use slang and colloquial words and
phrases for formal standard usage
(f) you select words that convey the precise meanings that you want them to in the
specified contexts
(g) that you do not confuse homonyms and use the wrong one in the specified context
(h) that you avoid clichés, hackneyed expressions and general imprecise words
(i) that you use active constructions where they are better suited than passive.
3. Conciseness – ensuring that you
(j) prune unnecessary words and phrases that merely pad your writing and do not
contribute to meaning
(k) trim long-winded and circular sentences and that you rewrite them in a straightforward
way (e.g. “I am desirous of....” “I would like”; “The principal is of the opinion that”
‘The principal thinks that’)
4. Internal logic – ensuring that sentences have internal logic, that is, that there are no
empty conclusions, for instance, In Naipaul’s early novels the comic element is important. Why is
it important? What exactly makes it so? Driving a car is an experience. What exactly is the
nature of the experience? In other words, rather than give an empty unspecific word (or
phrase) in the context find exact ones that convey the quality you want to describe.
Application: Revising Microscopic Elements

For each of the items presented under 1, 2, 3 and 4 formulate a question for a checklist that will
serve as a guide for revision of the microscopic elements described.
Proofreading and Editing

•
Proofreading and editing are the last stages of revision. The chances are that you will have
corrected several errors as you made other adjustments to your paper. However, before you
rewrite the final draft, you should proofread to check for spelling and punctuation errors.
A Note on Computers in Revision

If you do not own a computer, you should visit a computer centre and become familiar with one
of the word processing software systems in use. These are designed to make certain aspects of
writing, particularly revision, easier. While many writers prefer the feel of pen in hand to create
their rough drafts, most agree that the computer makes revision less of a chore than it used to
be. You can dispense with scissors, and glue and the accompanying mess. All word processing
programmes have editing features that allow you to cut chunks of text and relocate them in any
other part of the document that you indicate. They also include features that allow you to merge
text, figures, diagrams from one document on which you might have been working previously to
another, thus saving much time in re-typing text or re-designing a diagram. One can also correct
typographical errors easily. You no longer need correcting fluids or tapes that leave smears on
your paper.
Most programmes also provide assistance with proofreading in the form of spelling and grammar
checks. You should not become reliant on these, however, but should aim to master all the skills
of usage. Some computers use a particular convention, for example American spelling as the
default system. You change the system to a British one, if you wish, by clicking on the language
tool and change the default setting.
The computer also allows you to present a clean, professional-looking paper to your instructor.
After you have made all your corrections on the monitor, you can print out a clean document
that has no traces of erasure or strikeouts. Your final draft should reflect the effort you put
into the work. Instructors are usually less inclined to read a paper that is written in illegible
handwriting than one that is neatly typed. The final draft printed off the computer can be one
such, if you have done your revision carefully. These are only some of the reasons why you
should explore the possibility of using the technology for preparing your papers.
ASSIGNMENT
1. Select one of the following topics and write an essay of 500 to 800 words. Use selected
pre-writing, writing and rewriting strategies described in this section to help you develop
a first draft and revise it.
• Changing roles of women
• The future of the Caribbean: tourism versus agriculture
• The lottery (or gambling/casinos) as a viable source of revenue for Caribbean

governments
• The advantages and disadvantages of national universities in the OECS countries.
2. Exchange your essay with a peer and conduct an evaluation of your peer’s essay using
the checklists provided to do so. Write a commentary providing feedback for your peer.
3. Revise your essay after having used the comments and suggestions made by your peer.
Section 5
Exposition Analysis
Chapter 18: What is Exposition?
• Types of Exposition Reviewed
• The Language of Exposition
• The Expository Paragraph and Essay
Chapter 19: Illustration

• How Illustration Works
• The Uses of Illustration
• Developing Paragraphs and Essays Using Illustration
Chapter 20: Analysis

• Types of Analysis: Subject Analysis; Process Analysis
• Writing Different Kinds of Analyses
Chapter 21: Causal Analysis

• The Characteristics of Cause and Effect Analysis
• Writing Paragraphs and Papers Using Cause and Effect
Chapter 22: Definition

• Definition – an Overview and Types of Definition
• Strategies for Writing Definitions
Chapter 23: Classification and Division

• What are Classification and Division?
• Organising Principles of Classification
• Classification and Division as a Strategy in Writing
- Section 5
225
g
t- Chapter 24: Comparison and Contrast
- • Characteristics of Comparison and Contrast
• Writing Essays Using Comparison and Contrast

In this section we focus on the different kinds of expository discourse. The chapters of the
section have two main emphases. The first is to examine the characteristics of the particular
type of expository discourse that is being presented and to analyse samples of it. We ask you to
consider specific questions about the text as a means of enhancing your ability to interpret and
analyse what you read beyond the merely superficial level, and so to become better critical readers
and thinkers. The second is to discuss strategies for writing that particular type of exposition
within the framework of the process approach that we have adopted in this text.
Aims of the Section

1. identify the different types of expository discourse;
2. read and critically analyse writing which uses the different types of expository discourse;
3. write paragraphs and essays in which you use the types of exposition discussed in the
section.
18
What
Writing in English Writ- ing in English is Exposition?
Writing in English Writing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in
Types of Exposition Reviewed
Exposition is the discourse type that we most often use in everyday situations. We use it when we
are giving information to someone; when we explain how something works or how something
was done; when we narrate where an event took place, what happened and who were the people
involved; when we give directions to get from one place to another; and so forth. When we use
language for the purposes of informing and explaining, we are using language in an objective
way and this is a characteristic of expository discourse.
In Section Three we named the different rhetorical strategies of exposition, and in Section Four,
we presented a set of journalists’ questions and discussed the ways in which they can be used for
critical reading and to generate ideas for writing. Here we relate these two sets of elements to
show that when we develop a paragraph or extended composition using the rhetorical strategies,
we are providing responses to one (or more) of the questions. For instance, when we ask how
something is done, how it works, or how it is put together, we are using process analysis which
provides a step-by-step explanation of a process, and in so doing, it answers the question how. In
answer to the question what we provide explanations as to what something is (a subject analysis),
or we explain what happened at an event. The question why requires us to examine causes and
effects (causal analysis). The discourse that we generate in response to these questions informs
and explains; this is expository discourse. We can use the different rhetorical strategies on their
own as strategies for developing a paragraph or paragraphs within a larger work, or we can
use them in combination and with other types of discourse in a longer work. We can think of
exposition then, as controlled writing that responds to specific questions framed by the question
words who, what, when, where and why.
We also think of expository discourse as being factual; it presents an objective perspective about
a subject or topic and clarifies it. As such, this type of discourse appeals to the understanding and
to reason. It involves interpretation and analysis and it is developed according to one or more
of the rhetorical methods mentioned in Section Three, namely, (i) illustration, (ii) analysis, (iii)
cause and effect, (iv) definition, (v) classification, (vi) comparison and contrast. If you examine a
selection of good essays and articles, you will observe that the writers use one or more of these
six rhetorical strategies to organise their writing. These strategies exemplify different patterns
of organisation and your development as a good writer depends in some measure upon your
knowing which patterns of organisation are best suited to specific purposes.
What is Exposition? 227
The following statements briefly indicate what the different types involve. In subsequent chapters
of this section, we discuss the purposes for which the rhetorical strategies are used and present
samples of each type.
(i) Illustration is a pattern of organisation that attempts to clarify a thesis or topic or

subject through the presentation of examples that illustrate it. This pattern moves
from the general to the particular with the examples or illustrations constituting
specific instances of the point being made.
(ii) There are different types of analysis, but in general this pattern is basic to all the
others and it involves dividing a subject into its various parts so that it may be better
understood. Some kinds of analysis – such as a process analysis – involve a step by
step explanation of how something is done, and others – such as a subject analysis
– require an explanation of what something is like and may also require technical
description. Classification, division, and cause and effect are also types of analysis.
(iii) In cause and effect (or causal) analysis we are concerned with why something happens,
with finding reasons for things that happen. This strategy may be used in a paragraph
in a larger essay but sometimes an entire essay may use this pattern of organisation.
It is common in argumentative discourse, but one frequently finds expository
paragraphs and essays that use causal analysis.
(iv) Clarifying the meanings of terms that we use involves definition. When we use a term
in a special sense that is different from its accepted and commonly understood
senses, we are also using definition. Through extended definition one can make a
subject clear to the reader. Much discussion in the academic disciplines proceeds on
the basis of commonly accepted definitions of specialised words and concepts.
(v) Classification is the process of putting items into categories so that they are ordered
and can be dealt with systematically.
(vi) Comparison and contrast, as the name suggests, involves an examination of two subjects
and comparing and contrasting them systematically so as to show their similarities
and differences. This rhetorical strategy is effective when the things that are being
compared have some similarities.
Just as properly developed questions can result in controlled expository discourse that exemplifies
the different patterns of organisation, we can also ask questions about the patterns as prompts
in evaluating expository text and to generate ideas for writing expository paragraphs and essays.
As evaluation prompts we have the following examples:
• How is the subject defined and characterised by the writer?

• What kinds of illustrations are used? Are they relevant?
• Are the effects related to the causes that have been indicated?
As questions for generating ideas for writing one can ask:
• What examples will best illustrate the subject?

• In what ways are the two subjects that I am comparing similar? In what ways are they
different? What are the most striking similarities?
The Language of Exposition

Because the primary purpose of exposition is to inform, you need to be concerned in a more
particular way about the audience for an expository work than perhaps for other types of
discourse. For one thing, readers who take the trouble to seek information expect the language
of exposition to be clear and objective and the facts to be presented without emotional colouring
or the bias of the writer. If you worked on the first application of Section Three, you will have
observed the differences between the two descriptions of the Caribbean islands. Recall that the
second extract is labelled artistic and the first is labelled technical. One of the main differences
between the two extracts is that the second description is coloured by the writer’s perceptions
and emotional reactions, whereas the first is objective and devoid of emotional colour. The
details in the first are selected primarily to elucidate the subject. Consider the following as
another example.
The Aurora Borealis, also called the Northern Lights, is a broad display of
rather faint light in the northern skies at night. The Aurora Australis, a
similar phenomenon, appears at the same time in southern skies. The aurora
appears in a wide variety of forms. Sometimes it is seen as a quiet glow,
almost foglike in character; sometimes as vertical streamers in which there
may be considerable motion; sometimes as a series of luminous expanding arcs.
There are many colors, with white, yellow and red predominating.
(Source - Aurora Borealis and Aurora Australis, The World Almanac and Book of Facts 1994, p.
242.)
Note the directness of the language used. The first two sentences state what the aurora are and
identify the difference between Aurora Borealis and Aurora Australis. The rest of the paragraph
presents informative details about the lights indicating their characteristics in a straightforward
way. The tone and language of the writer can be described as emotionally neutral or matter-
of-fact. The descriptive details are sketched in for their informational content rather than as a
reflection of the writer’s interest; they are economical and exact. The excerpt which follows is
also a description. As you read it, jot down the ways in which you think the language differs from
the first excerpt.
The room was as simple as the carpenter’s room. Indeed as he looked he could
not help reflecting it was simpler still. Bare, unfurnished, save for a crib
in a stall that might have been an animal’s trough. Yet it all looked so
remarkable – every thread and straw on the ground, the merest touch in the
woman’s smile and dress – that the light of the room turned into the wealth
of dreams.
The whole room reflected this threadbare glistening garment. The insubstantial
straw in the cradle, the skeleton line of boards made into an animal’s trough,
the gleaming outline of the floor and the wall, and the shift the child wore
standing against the woman’s knee - all were drawn with such slenderness and
everlasting impulse one knew it was richer than all the images of seduction
combined to the treasuries of the east....
(Source - Wilson Harris, The Guyana Quartet 1985, p.106.)
The impressions of the writer or persona from whose point of view the scene is described
intrude in the second excerpt. One gets a sense of the observer’s attitude to the subject, of
subjective perceptions and judgements as in the following: the light of the room turned into a wealth
of dreams; skeleton line of boards; all were drawn with such slenderness ... it was richer than all the images of
seduction ....
Note the difference in the diction, and the selections made for connotative effect, for conveying
impressionistic detail, and so on. Note also the difference in sentence length of the two excerpts,
the former being characterised by shorter sentences whereas in the second the sentences
succeeding the first short opening sentence of each paragraph are longer. In the former, note
the distance of the speaking voice, the description of the lights as they are, and the frequent use
of the verb be. These contribute to the creation of the objective language that is required for
expository discourse.
Application: The Language of Exposition

Read the two excerpts again. Using the notes you jotted down on your first reading as well as
the ideas presented in the brief commentary in the preceding paragraphs, write a comparative
analysis of the two excerpts and comment on the differences between them.
The Expository Paragraph and Essay

•
Review the chapter on the paragraph in Section Four. There we discussed the structure of
paragraphs and indicated that a paragraph consists of a topic idea which is either explicitly
stated or implied, and supporting details which serve to make the topic sentence clear. We also
indicated that the structure of the paragraph will vary depending on where the topic sentence
is placed. That general description of the structure of paragraphs also applies to the expository
paragraph. It consists of a topic sentence the focus of which is indicated usually in the wording
of the sentence; the rest of the paragraph presents informative details that explain, clarify and
illustrate the topic. Examine the structure of the following paragraph.
The last great wellspring of reggae is Rastafarian music. The Rastafarians are
members of Jamaica’s spiritual nationality – millenarian in outlook, esoteric
and fundamentalist in origin, Back-to-Africa/Redemptionist in temperament,
worshipers of Haile Selassie as the living God, the predominant cultural
force in Jamaica for the past thirty years. Their contribution to reggae is
seminal. The basic Rasta rhythm is a sustained two-beat riff that swells and
hypnotizes like a heartbeat. (An example is the Wailers’ version of “Rastaman
Chant.”) Rastafarian drumming stems from one of the older Jamaican musical
forms, burra, now practised almost exclusively in Trench Town and other West
Kingston areas. Burra uses three large double-membrane drums usually made of
rum kegs and goatskin. The largest is the bass drum; the repeater and the
funde are smaller and higher pitched. The repeater plays the melody, the bass
lays out the rhythm, and the funde provides a darting syncopation. The effect
on the listener is the same trancelike quality supplied by reggae. The burra
and akete drumming shared the same outlaw philosophy and Trench Town stomping
ground as reggae, and the two musics are mutually inclusive.
(Source - Stephen Davis and Peter Simon, Reggae Bloodlines: In Search of the Music and Culture
of Jamaica, New York: Doubleday, 1977.)
The topic sentence is placed at the beginning; it presents the subject of the paragraph (reggae)
and indicates the scope of the discussion on the subject or the particular focus that will be dealt
with in the paragraph (Rastafarian music as the wellspring of reggae). In this case, the topic
sentence presents the subject and focus of the paragraph and the rest presents informative
details which consist of (i) an explanation of who the originators of the music are, and (ii) an
explanation of the musical forms and instruments that gave birth to reggae. In this way the
subject is divided and each part serves to clarify the relationship between Rastafarian music and
reggae, and to explain how the rhythm is created. On a smaller scale there is use of comparisons
and use of specific examples. All the informative material serves the purpose of making the
subject of the paragraph clear, and it is illustrative.
Application: The Expository Paragraph

Read the following paragraph and (i) identify the topic sentence and state whether it indicates
the way in which the subject of the paragraph is limited; (ii) comment on the structure of the
paragraph noting the kind of supportive details that are used to develop the paragraph and (iii)
discuss the rhetorical strategy or strategies that are used to develop the paragraph and its/their
suitability in this case.
Rastas think of themselves as the lost tribes of Israel sold into the slavery
of a Caribbean Babylon, and when the children of Israel fly away home to
Zion at last, the throne of Babylon - colonial Jamaica and the whole of
white civilization - will tumble down in a hail of blood and brimstone.
Careful attention is paid to esoteric biblical texts to justify the Rasta
cosmology, and arcane Rasta oral history explains what the Bible neglects.
So a Dread after a couple of spliffs will tell you that the black race sinned
in primeval days and was punished by Jah in the form of the conquest and
enslavement of Africa by white men. The four great pirates (John Hawkins,
Cecil Rhodes, Stanley Livingstone, and U.S. Grant) brought the slaves to the
New World to enrich the Babylonian Queen Elizabeth I, currently reincarnate
as Elizabeth II. The golden Scepter of the House of Judah in Ethiopia,
magically empowered with the dominion of the world, was stolen from Ethiopia
by Marc Antony and Julius Caesar, who used it to build the Roman Empire. From
Rome the Scepter was stolen by Britain, which inherited the Roman world.
When Haile Selassie was crowned in 1930, King George V of England sent his
son, the Duke of Gloucester, to Ethiopia with the Scepter as a gift to the
Emperor. While he was in Ethiopia the Duke became drunk and wandered off in
the wilderness and ate tall grass, revealing himself to be the reincarnate
King of Babylon, Nebuchadnezzar. When the Duke gave Selassie the Scepter,
the Emperor regained his powers. Selassie sent a mysterious emblem back to
England with the Duke to give to his father, but when King George saw the
emblem he was paralyzed and died shortly after. Gloucester became king and,
to fulfill the prophecies, abdicated in the knowledge that he would resume the
throne after the reincarnate Elizabeth I to rule as the final king of Babylon
and preside over its utter destruction.
(Source - Stephen Davis and Peter Simon, Reggae Bloodlines: In Search of The Music and Culture
of Jamaica, N.Y.: Doubleday, 1977.)
The expository essay has a structure similar to that of the expository paragraph but on an
•
extended scale. The subject of the essay or paper is expressed in a thesis statement (review
relevant chapter of Section Four) which is usually part of the introduction of the paper. As with
the topic sentence, the thesis indicates the way in which the subject will be limited or restricted
in the paper. As with the topic sentence also, the thesis statement may be explicit or implicit.
The thesis statement makes an assertion and the rest of the paper provides information in the
form of supporting details, illustrations or examples that may consist of statistical information,
the opinions of others, particularly those who are considered to be experts or authorities on
the subject and anecdotes. The main part (or body) of the essay may be developed by means of
any one of the rhetorical strategies or a combination of them. In the chapters that follow we
examine how the topic sentences and the structure of paragraphs developed by means of the
different rhetorical strategies will vary. In the following application we ask you to consider in
its entirety the essay of Helen C., one of our students. We used two short parts of the essay in
Section Four for illustrative purposes.
ASSIGNMENT
Read the following essay and evaluate it using the questions at the end as prompts. Use examples
from the essay to illustrate the points you make.
God Created Man... and the Media Created Women
Look in the mirror. If you are a woman, what do you see? A woman waxing a
floor? Feeding children? Spraying her hair? Scribbling on a steno pad? Gazing
at a man with mixed reverence and awe? The simple mirrors that hang over
bureaus and on the backs of closet doors only tell superficial things about
ourselves. The real-life mirrors are the media... (Komisar, 1971:304)
The media does not simply mirror the images of women in society. On the
contrary, they more often create these images and attach subjective values
to them, the negative or positive nature of which depends largely on the
particular motives of those who control what we see, hear and read. Although
few Western societies are governed by a totalitarian state, our perceptions
can still be seen as controlled in that the media are often highly selective
of the images they present to the public. In other cases the media may
demonstrate a gross irresponsibility, a damaging lack of discrimination in
their treatment of the concerns of a certain group in society leading to
derision of or lack of interest in their plight. Whether it is a deliberately
calculated image or one created due to a myopic, careless attitude, there
can be little doubt that the visual, audio and print media determine, to a
large extent, what men think about women and, above all, what women think
about themselves.
The dissemination of information and ideas in our advanced technological

age has far outstripped the now comparatively feeble imaginings of Johannes
Guttenberg, but the basic principles remain the same: reach as many people
as possible, change, reinforce or develop their views. Advertising today
utilizes these principles to great effect; James Laver in The Changing Shape
of Things series on Dress shrewdly remarks that, “... we may dislike a new
fashion when first we see it, but once it is firmly established we find it
difficult to believe that anything very different ever completely pleased us”
(James Laver, 1950). In this indisputably billion-dollar industry, however,
it is not unusual to hear advertising corporations defend their ‘democratic
prerogative’ to project whatever images they consider will generate the
largest profit, by claiming that they are exploiting the present situation
and attitudes but are not to be blamed for their creation. This argument
is specious at best; no serious advertiser can operate on the premise of a
permanently static environment and a fixed consumer demand. The birth and
persistence of the many women’s movements over the centuries which rejected
and still reject the immutability of the traditional roles of women clearly
contradict this concept. If advertisers invariably target women when they
want to sell household cleaning equipment they are prolonging a mind-set

which says ’cleaning house is woman’s work’ and creating this very response
in the minds of children of both genders.
Similarly, the majority of car commercials on television are addressed to

a male audience. In Car and Driver magazine there is a distinct brand of
language-based sexism which excludes female participation in the ‘male’
pursuit of car appreciation and perpetuates damaging stereotypes of men and
women. To illustrate, John Phillips writes in his article Thrills and Agony:
the ERA GT: “The first thing tourists do when they encounter Michelangelo’s
Pieta is to touch it. Also, this is the first thing every male child attempts
when he encounters Stephanie Seymour or an ERA GT ....” (John Phillips,
1993:107. - my italics). Obviously this alienates women; it is showing them
where they belong (in the fantasies of young boys) and where they don’t
(touching an ERA GT with ‘male’ admiration).
The most common methods the media employ to create myths about women or to
ensure that a particular trend in female behaviour is followed, relate not
only to advertising but to journalism and film. In a recent newspaper article
a columnist opened with, “She’s attractive ... smart and she even likes
football and basketball.” (Sun on Saturday, 1993:21) (my italics). However,
the almost unconscious gender stereotyping in this article is innocuous when
compared to the images of women seen in films such as Basic Instinct, Sliver
and the apparently irrepressible pornographic movies. The roles for women in
film today are only slightly less negative and limited than those listed in
Molly Haskell’s book From Reverence to Rape. According to her, women in the
thirty year period between 1920 and 1950 were portrayed as:
Whores, quasi-whores, jilted mistresses,

Emotional cripples, daffy i n g e n u e s ,
Lolitas, kooks, sex-starved s p i n s t e r s ,
psychotics
She ends bitterly, saying, “Icebergs, zombies and ball breakers. That’s what
little girls of the sixties and seventies are made of.” (Molly Haskell, From
Reverence to Rape, 1973:327-328). Perhaps even more damning than this is the
personal account of the actress Demi Moore who claimed that in the movie A
Few Good Men, “...there’s no romantic relationship with Tom [Cruise]. We
don’t have to kiss-nothing. When this project was at Tri-Star in the previous
administration, they read the script and the first notes back to [screen-
writer] Aaron Sorkin were, “why is Jo [Moore’s character] female? She doesn’t
take her clothes off and there’s no love scene” (Nancy Gordon, 1993).

message which in the majority of cases seeks to undermine the advancement
of women in the world. All in all, it seems that the media have not got
the message sent by women - our progress means the progress of the human
race; we are equal partners in a changing world, not sex objects, bitches
and passive helpmates of men. After all, where would science be if all
Marie Curie could think about was serving her husband or curling her hair?
(Helen C. Year 1 paper)
References
“Fighting the Feeling.” In Sun on Saturday, October 23, 1993.
Gordon, Nancy. Interview, Table Talk, Premiere. Women in Hollywood, Special Issue,
1993.
Haskell, Molly (1973). From Reverence to Rape: The Treatment of Women in the Movies.
New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston.
Komisar, L. 1971. “The Image of Women in Advertising.” In V. Gornick and B. Moran

(Eds.), Woman in Sexist Society: Studies in Power and Powerlessness. New York: Basic
Books, 1971, p.304 cited by Matilda Butler, and William Paisley, Women and the Mass
Media. New York: Human Sciences, 1980. p. 148.
Laver, James (1950). The Changing Shape of Things: Dress. London: W.S. Cowell Ltd.
Paisley, William. (1980). Women and the Mass Media. New York. Human Sciences.
Phillips, John (1993). “Thrills and Agony: The ERA GT” In Car and Driver, Vol. 38:11,
May 1993.
Answer the following questions.
1. What is the subject of Helen’s essay? Is the subject (and its restriction) clearly indicated?
2. Read each paragraph carefully and state whether and in what ways each one elucidates
the subject.
3. Comment on the structure of individual paragraphs. Are the topics dealt with in each
relevant to the overall subject?
4. What are the techniques that Helen uses to illustrate and make the subject clear to the
reader?
5. Indicate whether the illustrative/supportive material is relevant to the subject.
6. Comment on the effectiveness of the techniques used in the essay.
7. Using the responses to 1 through 6, write a commentary (about 500 words) on the paper.
19
Writing inIllustration
English Writing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in English WritingWriting in English Writ-
How Illustration Works

Among the rhetorical strategies used for developing paragraphs, illustration is perhaps the most
commonly used. This method involves stating a thesis, clarifying it, explaining any important
terminology that is being used in the essay, and then presenting supporting information in the
form of examples that serve to illustrate the thesis or subject. The types of illustrative material
vary. One can use statistics, the opinions of those considered to be experts or authorities on
the subject, anecdotes or examples. When used as illustrations, these are supposed to serve
the purpose of clarifying the subject and making clear the meaning of the thesis statement. In
other words, this pattern of development presents particular (or specific) examples as a means
of making clear, representing or explaining a general statement. It is as important for students
to develop the critical ability of evaluating and analysing discourse that uses this method of
development as it is to learn how to use the method effectively in writing.
Let us begin by reading and thinking critically about an essay Dance and Survival by Rex Nettleford,
an eminent West Indian scholar. In the essay, Nettleford explores the ways in which dance
has been a form of survival for Caribbean peoples. He focuses on the Jamaican experience in
particular. Note the way in which his thesis statement indicates the subject and its restriction. As
you read, try to determine which strategies Nettleford uses to present the subject.
Dance and Survival
As a foremost creative activity serving Jamaican cultural resistance – not

only throughout the periods of slavery and colonialism but also following
independence – dance was a primary instrument of survival. First, it is a
skill that depends on the physical and mental capacities of the survivor.
One’s body belongs only to oneself, despite the laws governing chattel slavery
in the English-speaking Caribbean, which until 1834 allowed a person to be
the “property” of another.1 Second, the language, least of all the master’s.
Even when there are borrowings, which are inescapable in a multicultural
environment, they can be given shape and form on the borrower’s own terms.
These strategies are crucial in a situation of pervasive dependency, where
all influences are dictated by the overlord. It is the exercise of the
imagination – manifest in all forms of creative activities, from a dance or
a few bars of music to the invention of various forms of worship – that has
proved the best guarantee of survival, from the period of chattel slavery
and colonial domination to the conditions of post-colonial geopolitical and
economic encirclement. To function in the modern world, Caribbean citizens,
despite the presence of expressive Creole tongues, may indeed have to write
and speak in the master’s language (French, English, Spanish or Dutch); yet
they can survive, dancing their own movements and singing their own music.
Because of such modes of existence, this civilisation may be unique. Such a
claim to cultural uniqueness was conceded by the West Indian Nobel laureate
and political economist Arthur Lewis, who stated that the creative products
of the Caribbean imagination constitute the one contribution “above all
others we know we can make to the common human heritage.”2
This ability to contribute is both the cause and result of survival, and
the jealous preservation of the means to do so becomes part of the common
heritage. Consequently the majority of Jamaicans discover a flexibility in
coping with a society that is yet to be organised in the interests of that
majority. A hold on any activity beyond the control of a cynical power
structure is a valuable weapon of cultural self-defence. The art of dance,
comprising the dancer’s own body movements informed by his own spiritual
and emotional states, is such a weapon. Allied with music – which utilises
various African-derived drums and idiophones as well as European instruments
such as piano and strings – the dance takes on compounded energy as a source
for survival.
Reaching beyond mere survival, the dance in Jamaica long ago refused to get stuck
in genres of light-hearted entertainment, despite the ring games, lancers,
schottische, and quadrille suitably adapted from the court and country dance
of Europe. Instead the dance preserved its force through integrated links
with religion in the ownership of forbidden but persistent gods, divination
rituals, and the configurations of a nether world beyond the master’s laws.
It has given to the cultural heritage of Jamaica such enduring life sources
as kumina, pukkumina (popularly known as pocomania), etu, tambu, gerreh,
dinkimini, Zion revivalism, and Rastafarianism.3 Many of these rituals have
their counterparts in other parts of the fragmented Caribbean, carrying names
such as voodoo (Haiti and Santo Domingo), santeria (Cuba), shango (Trinidad),
and cumfah (Guyana).4 The cunning survival strategies may be well-concealed
in religious rites reserved for the initiated, but they are no less effective
when exercised openly in dance-filled jonkonnu masquerades, burru, dinkimini,
bruckin party, or pre-Lenten Carnival. Such seemingly harmless merrymaking
activities offer appropriate vehicles for the oppressed masses to comment
freely, often in the form of wicked wit and ribald punning, on a society
that gives them short shrift socially, politically, and economically. Such
activities involve energies that are released through otherwise forbidden
behaviour, especially in what may appear to be uninhibited and suggestive
movements. Mimicry, artistic licence, understatement, and ironic metaphors
certainly were not lost on the originators of formal Caribbean dance theatre,
as the repertoire of the National Dance Theatre Company of Jamaica clearly
illustrates.
In an effort to escape the negative effects of persistent poverty and psychological

and cultural isolation, Jamaicans historically found refuge in collective
Illustration 237
endeavours. Circles of protection – whether provided through community co-

operation, configurations of the extended family, or ritual dances performed
in the round to exorcise evil or celebrate communal achievements – offered
the African-in-exile some kind of solace. Dance, which took the form of
recreational ring games played under the full moon or the ceremonial worship
of votaries moving around a table (pukkumina and Zion revival) or around
drummers invoking ancestral spirits (kumina), reinforced the protective
aspects of group activities. Dance was the organic link with Africa, helping
to alleviate the isolation that threatened the cultural heritage of the
individuals who ended up in the Caribbean. Life itself continued to be
viewed in cyclical terms, involving the dead, the living, and those unborn.
Ancestors close the circle when libations are poured.
The dance is not only a performing art, it is also an art of community effort
that proclaims the virtue of co-operation. Traditionally, government leaders
have dismissed the sensitive intellectual gifts of peasant experiences,
precisely because they have been regarded as too mundane or folkloric to
guide affairs of state. Yet it is the peasant who realises that the individual
dancer usually has little to offer outside of community ritual. Even when he
performs alone, the ritual dancer must have either a responsive audience
or acceptance by the community spirits. Votaries, whose religious functions
are clear-cut, must operate within a large framework, which invests such
functions with purpose and meaning. Rivermaid, cooing Dove, Engine Spirit,
Bell Ringer, Indian Spirit – all such ritual participants relate not only
to one another but also to the overall pukkumina rite. The characters of a
masquerade band are always members of a team. What the violated individual
is deprived of by the wider society is provided in ancestral rituals or
contemporary ceremonies organised by the people themselves. Opportunity is
given for social interaction which invests each actor with the dignity of a
persona, even if it is as a “king” or a “queen” for only a short period of
time. The slave, the denigrated African, the exploited proletarian, or the
powerless worker in a factory – all with the lowest status during most of
the year – can be shepherd, captain, king, queen, or courtier for a night or
two in pukkumina, kumina, or bruckin party.
An inevitable interdependence is found in all social activity; such activity

draws on the mobilised energies of a wide range of participants in creative
inter-action, which is not only the essence of nation building and other forms
of communal organisation but also the essence of the efforts of a performing
group, whether dancers, actors, singers, or musicians. The choreographer,
for example, is nothing without the dancer, who participates in the creation
of the final product. A writer can discard material that doesn’t work, but
a choreographer cannot ignore the dancer, who is an instrument of his
expression. A dance company – employing, besides dancers, the varied skills
of singers, musicians, creative technicians, and stagehands – by definition
offers a valuable example of the creative moulding of energies and skills
into an organic whole. Joan McCulloch, an English-woman residing in Jamaica,
wrote in 1946 from her experiences as a ballet dancer and teacher in English:
“The ballet brings together so much artistic talent – apart from the dancers
and choreographers there are the composers, musicians, writers and artists.
It is this artistic cooperation all working together, not for themselves,
but for the whole, which gives us something for enjoyment that few other arts
can equal.”5 McCulloch’s claim may be a trifle exaggerated. But the dance as a
multidisciplinary art does offer opportunities for the development of talent
through participation in a larger community. A sense of individuality is
formed in the crucible of social interaction.
It is the collective experiences of the common people that are usually

ignored by economic and political strategists of postcolonial Third World
countries like Jamaica. These new power brokers in the Third World continue
to look for solutions within the context of metropolitan centres, where they
may have gained their formal education. Thus cultural activities are still
afflicted by the externalisation of consciousness; metropolitan dance culture
continues to dazzle Third World devotees into uncritical imitation or artistic
paralysis. Such aping cannot be the basis of participatory democracy, which
is the battle hymn of every republic seeking political stability as well as
the judicious balance between social and economic justice for the individual
and the responsibilities of collective action. Nor can it be the basis of
any serious Caribbean effort at self-definition through artistic achievement.
As a traditional survival technique in the ordinary Jamaican’s self-made

design for social living, the dance offers an excellent tool for human
development as part of the nation’s strategies to shape a new society.
Contemporary dance expression, rooted in a traditional-ancestral dance
culture, encourages patriotic commitment, therefore avoiding the alienation
and anomie that result from colonial dependency. Sustained structured
training in preparing the body for performance – as well as the obvious
rewards derived from the expenditure of energies – fosters productive work
attitudes, self-discipline, and physical stamina. The by-products – not only
increased health, body awareness, and physical and mental co-ordination but
also a better appreciation of the nation’s cultural history through music and
folklore studies – will add to the quality of life by transporting society
beyond a preoccupation with mere survival to social concerns, such as the
creative ordering of contemporary life. The dance as a force in the overall
cultural development of Jamaica during the first two decades of independence
has served to enrich the infrastructures of cultural life, taking the country
from colonial outpost for commercial profit to an aspiringly self-reliant and
self-respecting social organism.
(Source - Rex Nettleford, “Dance and Survival,” in Inward Stretch, Outward Reach.)
Illustration 239
Notes
1. Slavery was legally abolished on August 1, 1834, but an apprenticeship period, lasting until 1838, was set
by the Abolition Act as a timetable for ultimate liberation.
2. Lewis, Arthur: “Striving to be West Indian,” The Sunday Gleaner (February 20, 1983), p.18.
3. All of these names refer to African-derived rituals extant in Jamaica. Kumina embraces the dominant
elements of music, dance, spirit possession, healing, and the use of herbs; as a rite it is practised on
auspicious occasions mainly in the parish of Saint Thomas and to a lesser extent in the parishes of
Portland, Saint Mary, Saint Catherine, and Saint Andrew. Pukkumina and Zion together represent the
syncretised cults of Jamaican religious worship. The former has retained African elements of worship; the
latter is more Euro-Christian in orientation, sharing with orthodox Christianity the authority of the Bible.
Closely related to pukkumina are bongo, convince, and flenkee cults. Zion, which has its historical roots
in Christian revivalism known as the Great Revival movement of 1860, deals with heavenly spirits such
as angels, archangels, and apostles. Pukkumina involves ground spirits regarded as evil by the Zionists.
The distinction between the two movements reveals the persistent dialectical relationship in the society
between Africanisms and the culture of the colonising power. Since the 1970s Zion revivalism has again
inspired evangelicalism.
Tambu is a recreational rite derived from African customs, and in terms of dance it bears strong
resemblances to kumina, which, it is believed, is a secular variant of it. Tambu is danced in Trelawny in the
Wakefield and Friendship districts. Etu is claimed to be yoruba-derived and danced at wakes in the parish
of Hanover. Etu is also danced on festive occasions such as weddings and dinner parties. African cuisine
is featured and the most proficient performers in the circle are rewarded with shawls; hence the shawling
dance in the National Dance Theatre Company’s 1983 work Gerrehbenta. Gerreh is another recreational
dance best known in western Jamaica. As a “deadyard ceremony,” performed at wakes, gerreh utilises
ring games and dances of skill; for example, the calembe stick dance, featuring a dancer walking on two
poles horizontally held by two men while in motion. Dinkimini, also a deadyard ceremony, is recreational,
offering the dancers a wide range of innovation. According to Cheryl Ryman, “the aim is to defy death
by life – great activity with marked sexual overtones, a prelude to new life is a display of man’s re-creative
capacity” (see NDTC Newsletter [July 1983], p. 11c).
Rastafarianism is a popular religious movement flourishing in Jamaica since the early 1930s; it has spread
throughout the world by means of its music and a life style that appeals to nature. Its beliefs are centred on
human dignity and the brotherhood of man as well as on the divinity of the former emperor of Ethopia,
Haile Selassie, and the repatriation to Africa of the uprooted black man. Rastafarianism has been a source
of energy for creative expressions in language, music, art (painting and ceramics), dance, fashion (clothes
and hairdos), and diet (natural foods). See the excellent article by Cheryl Ryman, “The Jamaican Heritage
in Dance,” Jamaica Journal 44 (June 1980), p.2-14.
4. For information on voodoo see Harold Courlander: The Drum and the Hoe: Life and Lore of the Haitian
people (Los Angeles: University of California Press, 1960); Lavinia Williams: Haiti-Dance (Frankfurt:
Bronners Druckeri, 1959); Fradirique Liardo: Danzas y Bailes Folkloricos Dominicos (Santo Domingo: Museo
del Hombre Dominicano, 1982). For santeria see William Bascom: “A Focus of Cuban Santeria,” in
Southwestern Journal of Anthropology 6, No.1 (1950): pp. 64-68. For shango see George Easton Simpson:
“Religious Cults of the Caribbean: Trinidad, Jamaica and Haiti,” rev. ed., Caribbean Monograph Series No.
7 (San Juan: Institute of Caribbean Studies, University of Puerto Rico, 1970). For cumfah see Frank
Pilgrim: “Some folk Dances of Guyana.” Paper presented at the UNESCO Cultural and Conservation
Conference, July – August, 1970, Kingston, University of the West Indies.
5. Quoted in Wycliffe Bennett, “The History of Dance Theatre in Jamaica.” Paper presented at the
symposium on the collaboration between the National Dance Theatre Company and the Jamaica School
of Dance, May 25-26, 1982, Kingston, Cultural Training Centre. See also Ivy Baxter: The Arts of an Island:
The Development of the Culture and of the Folk and Creative Arts in Jamaica, 1494-1962 (Methuchen, N. 1:
Scarecrow Press, 1970), especially Chapter 20, “The Dance Renaissance.”
Questions for Critical Reading and Thinking

1. What, as far as you are able to determine, is Nettleford’s purpose in writing? Does he
deviate from that purpose at any point in the essay? Read through the essay again before
you answer the question.
2. In what way(s) does each paragraph extend the discussion and clarify the subject?
3. Go through the essay and jot down the types of illustrative material that the writer uses.
Say whether (and in what way) the illustrations contribute to the effectiveness of the
essay.
4. What insights does Nettleford provide about the Third World experience in general and
the Jamaican consciousness in particular as evidenced through attitudes to dance?
5. In what ways is dance considered to be a form of survival in the Caribbean? Do you

agree with the writer’s assertions in this regard? Say why or why not.
6. In not more than 300 words summarise the essay. Revise and then exchange your
summary with a classmate. Do you agree on what are the major points of the essay? Did
you include any of the illustrative material in your summary? Review the essay to check
what you omitted – are the omissions essential to an understanding of (a) the summary
(b) the essay?
7. Build your vocabulary by checking the usage of the following words:

geopolitical votary choreographer genre
idiophone judicious infrastructure
Illustration 241
The Uses of Illustration

The important points to remember about illustration as a method of development are that the
illustrative material selected by the writer for inclusion in the essay must:
• be relevant to the subject;

• explain, clarify or delineate the subject;
• support the statements made by providing justification and evidence for them.
The use of examples to illustrate the subject is a straightforward pattern of development.

The following paragraphs which are simple and straightforward in form and content serve as
examples.
I. Everyone in Jamaica has an opinion of Rastafari. The middle and upper

classes think of Rastas as violent hippies who should be wiped out. The
government tolerates and tries to use them to its political advantage.
The police wage limited war on it. But every year Rasta accumulates more
prestige in Jamaican life. One night a young engineer put it to me this
way: “For years Jamaicans feared the Rasta as a voluntary ascetic who
didn’t vote and just smoked herb all day long. Then, after many years,
people realized that the Rastas have contributed more to Jamaican culture
than any other group. In time, they’ve become the conscience of the
country. We feel we need them more than they need us.”
(Source – Stephen Davis and Peter Simon, Reggae Bloodlines: In Search of the Music and
Culture of Jamaica, N.Y.: Doubleday, 1977.)
II.There are a number of words still in use in Saint Lucia that are of Arawak
or Carib origin. These words are the names of things, mostly plants, fish,
animals and insects. In spite of two centuries of the French patois, and
more recently the increasing use of English, many things still bear their
aboriginal names. Perhaps the one article that is in universal use and
sti4ll carries its Indian name is the kanari or cooking pot. The gourmet
looks forward to the season of the year when titiri, the diminutive fry
of a translucent grey colour are caught in the mouths of our rivers. When
bathing, you may have your toes gently nipped by the ciriques, a yellow
and black sea crab, or chase on the beaches the pink tourourou (in Patois
called touloulou). In the markets, fish vendors offer for sale wataberi,
balaou, coulirou (both gros and ti). The mountain streams abound in the
crab known as bak, which the Caribs called ba’khu, and in the forests
manicou and agouti are becoming rarer.
(Source – Harold Simmons, “The Debt of Language,” in Pulse: A Collection of Essays by
St Lucian Writers. A Source publication, 1980.)
In both instances the topics indicate the subject matter and the focus or restriction of the
paragraphs. In Passage I, it is that everyone (restricted to Jamaica) has an opinion about the
Rastafarians. The rest of the paragraph goes on to give particular examples about this general
assertion – middle and upper classes, government, police, and ending with the specific quotation
of a Jamaican engineer. In Passage II, it is that there are remnants of Carib and Arawak words
in St. Lucia. The rest of the paragraph goes on to provide specific examples of these words.
In using statistics, one must be careful in the selection of statistical details and the way in which
they are presented. Because statistics can be tedious to read through, you can present them in
a more interesting way to the reader by integrating them with the discussion on the subject.
Consider the following example.
III. Even in the formal sector, notwithstanding equal pay legislation, women
almost always earn less than men for the same work or work of comparable
value. Take agriculture in most of Asia and Africa, for example, where
women’s average daily wages for the main crops are 25 to 33 per cent less
than those earned by men; or Bangkok, where female wages in the informal
sector are one third lower than those of males; or Manila, where almost
half the enterprises employing women pay them below the minimum wage.
Even in developed countries like Switzerland, women earn only 67 per cent
of men’s wages, while in Cyprus, the figure is 59 per cent. And in Japan,
women are paid only 52 cents for every dollar earned by men. Although
translating the law into practice is often the major stumbling block,
there may be some good news in that roughly 100 countries have adopted
equal pay legislation, compared to only 28 countries in 1978.
(Source – “Legislating for Women in the Workplace,” in Women: Challenges to the Year 2000.
United Nations, New York, 1991.)
Note the way in which the figures are incorporated into the discussion to show comparisons
between nations. This is one way of using statistics within a paragraph as illustrative material which
is an integral part of its development. There are other ways in which statistics are incorporated
into expository discourse, for instance as a distinct table with accompanying commentary. Find
other examples of the ways in which writers present statistical information in texts. Section
Seven presents a discussion of some formats.
One of the most popular kinds of examples that students use is citing the opinions of experts or
authority on the subject. This may take a variety of forms, from a passing or informal reference
to the author, or a formal citation which gives full documentation; it may be a paraphrase, brief
summary of the writer’s views, or it may be a short or lengthy quotation. Go back to the essay
by Nettleford and find examples of such citations used by the author. Note the author’s use of
the citations, that is, whether to support a point that he makes or to provide a springboard for
expressing a different viewpoint.
Illustration 243
Developing Paragraphs and Essays Using Illustration

A review of the process of writing in Section Four will remind you that the prewriting and
revision stages require as much attention as the drafting or actual writing of the essay. In writing
expository discourse, it is important to pay particular attention to the prewriting activities because
a successful paragraph or essay will depend on the form of the paragraph or essay, the clarity of
the presentation of subject matter and the effective use of relevant supporting material. When
you write expository discourse in which you use illustration as a pattern of development, check
your work at the different stages. The following are points that you will find useful to consider.
• Is the assertion or statement made in the thesis (essay) or the topic idea (paragraph) one
that can be justified or demonstrated to be true or reasonable through the presentation
of concrete instances?
• Is the illustrative material that has been selected as support for the assertion relevant to
the assertive statement?
• Is the illustrative material likely to be of interest to the intended audience?
• Will the audience understand the illustrative material or must further clarification be
provided to illustrate the illustrations?
As you work within the framework of the prewriting activities that we suggest in Section Four,
you must give careful thought to the selection and restriction of your subject. Use one of the
strategies we present (for instance, clustering or freewriting) to help you refine and restrict the
subject. The questions we provide for this purpose will help you check the clarity of thesis
statement or the topic idea. Also useful are the questions we provide about the audience; for
example, ask yourself how much background information you need to provide for the reader.
Another important prewriting activity that you should take the time to work through is the
preparation of a suitable plan for writing. It may be simple (a sketch outline) or elaborate (a
full formal outline or a well developed semantic map), but whichever you use, be sure to check
successive drafts against your original and later plans as a means of critically assessing the
completeness of the finished draft. Finally, determine the kind of illustrative materials you want
to include; consider whether examples, and/or an anecdote, and/or statistics or any of the other
methods that we discuss in this chapter would be suitable. Analyse the task with care and then
proceed to do it using the strategies we have suggested for prewriting, drafting and revising.
ASSIGNMENT
1. Select one or two of the following topics and develop a paragraph by using any of
the types of illustration (individually or in combination) that we have discussed in this
section. Use the checklist of questions presented here and in Unit 4 to check your work
at the different stages. Pay particular attention to revising and editing.
2. Write an extended essay of approximately 800 words on one of the topics; incorporate
the paragraph you have developed (if relevant to the topic) into the essay. Pay special
attention to the selection and restriction of a subject.
Topics
• Dub music
• America’s influence in the Caribbean
• Racism in the Caribbean: fact or fiction?
• The boundaries of computer technology
• After cell phones, what?
20
Writing inAnalysis
Analysis is central to exposition. Most of the rhetorical methods require some form of analysis.
As a student at university, you will use analysis when you read and try to understand complicated
concepts and material, and also when you attempt to show your understanding of concepts and
material in your writing. Analysis helps one to understand a subject better; it involves dividing
the subject into its component parts and looking at each part to determine how it relates to the
whole.
There are two main types of analysis – subject and process analysis. Subject analysis involves
explanations of what things are, how they are put together, how they work. In a subject analysis
a writer will present a systematic explanation of the subject and its components. Process analysis
can be directional or informational. It can provide a step by step explanation of how to do
something - directional; a recipe is an example of a simple directional process. Process analysis
can also explain how something happens – informational; for instance, how volcanoes come into
being or what causes tidal waves are examples of this type. The object is to present a procedure
in such a way that a reader can understand and follow the directions in the case of the former, or
to reconstruct the event so as to be able to provide a clear explanation in the case of the latter.
The patterns of organisation that writers use for the various forms of analysis are the same.
In Section Three, we introduced some of the main patterns, for instance, chronological and
sequential; ordering by progression is another pattern in which the writer explains how one
proceeds from one step of a process to the next. The following extract explains the phenomenon
of twilight. First, read it through to get a sense of what the subject is, and then read it a second
time with greater care to analyse it. In your second reading, note, for instance, how the writer
breaks the subject into sub-topics; note the other rhetorical strategies that are used to help clarify
the subject. Pay attention to the pattern of organisation so that you can explain to someone who
has not read the extract what the subject is and how the writer presents the subject. It is useful
to jot down notes as you read (refer to the section on critical reading in Section Seven).
I. Twilight
Twilight is that evening period of waning light from the time of sunset to
dark, often termed dusk. Morning twilight, a time of increasing light, is
called dawn. The source of this light is the sun shining on the atmosphere
above the observer. Twilight is a time of very slowly changing sky illumination
with no abrupt variations. Nevertheless, there are three commonly accepted
divisions in this smooth continuum defined by the distance the sun lies below
the astronomical horizon: civil twilight, nautical twilight, and astronomical
twilight. The astronomical horizon is that great circle lying 90° from the
zenith, the point directly over the observer’s head. Twilight ends in the
evening or begins in the morning at a particular time. Nominally, evening
events are repeated in reverse order in the morning.
Civil twilight is the time between the moment of sunset, when the sun’s
apparent upper edge is just at the horizon until the center of the sun is 6°
directly below the horizon. In many states, this is the time in the evening
when automobile headlights must be turned on, not to see better, but to be
seen by other drivers. After this time, a newspaper becomes increasingly
difficult to read.
Nautical twilight ends when the sun’s center is 12° below the horizon. By
this time in the evening, the bright stars used by navigators have appeared
and the horizon may still be seen. After this time, the horizon is more
difficult to perceive, preventing navigators from making star sights.
Astronomical twilight ends in the evening when the sun is 18° below the
horizon, and the sky is dark enough, at least away from the sun’s location,
to allow astronomical work to proceed. Sunlight, however, is still shining on
the higher levels of the atmosphere from the observer’s zenith to the horizon
toward the sun. Although not named as a period of twilight, when the sun is
24° below the horizon, no part of the observer’s atmosphere even toward the
sun, receives any sunlight.
In the tropics, the sun moves nearly vertically accomplishing its 6°, 12°, or
18° depression very quickly. In the polar regions, the sun’s diurnal motion
may actually be nearly along the horizon, prolonging the twilight period, or
even not permitting darkness to fall at all. In mid-latitudes, civil twilight
may last about a half hour, nautical, an hour, and astronomers can go to work
in about 90 minutes.
(Source - “The World Almanac and Book of Facts,” in World Almanak Books, New York: Funk and
Wagnalls Corporation, 1994.)
The second extract is an adaptation of an article about the use of inhalers, and it is a simple
directional process analysis. As you read, determine whether the writer’s explanation of the
differences between the two kinds of inhalation systems is clear.
II. The Use of Inhalers
The inhaler is an extremely good way of taking Asthma medicines. It sprays

a measured dose of medication which is delivered directly to the airways in
the lungs. Inhalers work faster than medicines taken by mouth; it takes only
5 to 10 minutes for the medicine to have an effect, compared with more than an
hour for oral medicines. Also, because hardly any medication gets into the
blood and the rest of the body, inhaler treatment avoids the unwanted side
effects of medicines which are taken orally.
Analysis 247
It is clear that inhalers are safe, fast-acting and effective. They are also
compact, spill-proof and convenient to carry around.
Inhaler medications fall into two broad groups: the relievers, and the
preventers. The reliever type of inhaler (egg, ventolin, berotec, salbulin)
will stop an asthmatic attack after it has started. It does this by relaxing
the muscles around the airways: the airways open up, and allow you to breathe
more easily. Asthmatics should have their reliever type of inhaler with them
at all times – at home, school, work, etc. Another type of reliever inhaler
(for example, serevent) is useful for exercise induced asthma and night time
symptoms of asthma. This inhaler should not be used in an acute attack.
Preventer inhalers help to prevent asthma attacks. They work by preventing

the airways from getting tight and inflamed in the first place. They need to
be taken every day, even when you feel perfectly well. Locally available
preventive inhalers include becotide, becloforte, intal, tilade. Some very
mild asthmatics may not require the use of preventer inhalers.
Inhalers must be used correctly to allow the medication to get into the
airways of the lung. The most common reason for lack of benefit from inhalers
is incorrect technique in their use. There are two different methods of using
an inhaler: the open mouth technique and the closed mouth technique. In both
cases, remember to remove the cap and shake the inhaler before use.
The open mouth technique:
1. Breathe out.
2. Hold the inhaler upright, 1 to 2 inches away from your open mouth.
3. Press down on the metal canister to release ONE puff of medicine, as you
start to breathe in SLOWLY.
4. Continue to breathe in SLOWLY until your lungs are full.
5. Hold your breath for about 10 seconds to allow the medicine to reach
deeply into your lungs.
The closed mouth technique
The sequence is exactly the same except for Step 2.
2. Hold inhaler upright and close your lips around the mouthpiece. If you
have trouble doing two things at once in Step 3 – pressing the inhaler AND
breathing in – simply press first and then start breathing in. Wait one
minute between puffs as this may permit the second puff to go deeper into the
lungs. Ask your doctor to SHOW you how to use the inhaler. Patients who have
difficulty using an inhaler properly may need to use a spacer. A spacer makes
it easy to use the inhaler, especially for young children. It also helps to
prevent coughing when using an inhaler.
The spacer attaches to the inhaler and holds the medicine long enough to be
inhaled in one or two slow deep breaths. A spacer may prove to be expensive,
but it is well worth the price if it is needed. However, if you can use an
inhaler properly, you do not need a spacer.
(Source - Tina Spiro, in Caribbean Week, 7, 1996.)
The Language of Analysis

The language of exposition and analysis is objective but adjustments are made by writers
depending on the subject, the audience and the purpose of the writing. In presenting a subject
or process analysis, the tone assumed by the writer is impersonal for the most part, but in some
directional process analyses writers use the pronoun you which makes the writing seem more
personal than if the more distant one is used. The manipulation of tone is based on conscious
decisions made by the writer. Scientific and technical discourse is often used to exemplify
language that is objective and matter-of-fact. However, one finds adjustments to tone and voice
even in scientific discourse and objectivity is not lost even though the tone may be more or
less impersonal depending on the audience. In the following brief excerpt the subject matter is
scientific, but the article is intended for a general rather than specialised audience, and the writer
makes adjustments to cater to the wider readership.
Focus for reading: Consider the kinds of adjustments that are made. Compare the first excerpt
with the second which is also a subject analysis. Are there differences in (a) expository form (b)
voice (c) rhetorical strategies used?
I. The Emotional Brain
The idea that the brain’s left and right hemispheres are specialized for
different kinds of thinking is a familiar one, backed by lots of research.
Now it’s beginning to look as if the hemispheres are also specialized for
different emotional experiences. It’s not as simple as, say, a sad side and a
happy side, but there’s growing evidence that parts of the two hemispheres
play different roles in our emotions and moods.
Support for this idea comes from research on some people with brain disorders
and on some with apparently perfectly functioning brains. The research
is still controversial and sketchy, but the picture that’s emerging is
intriguing and may lead to new ways of helping people whose emotional lives
are out of control.
One line of evidence comes from research on people with neurological problems
such as epilepsy, in which storms of abnormal electrical activity occur
in certain parts of the brain. If the seizures happen in areas involved
in movement, twitches and convulsions may result; if sensory areas are
involved, patients may feel tinglings, see flashes or hear strange noises. But
Analysis 249
if the seizures affect the brain structures involved in emotions and memory,
patients may feel rage, or fear, have déjà vu sensations or dreamy states or
even have mystical experiences.
In most people who suffer seizures, the abnormal electrical activity only
occurs within one hemisphere. But this was not true of a woman we’ll call
Mary, who had a trouble spot in each hemisphere. The staff of a Canadian
neuropsychiatric clinic found her to be depressed and suicidal, although she
lacked some of the classic symptoms of major depression such as disturbed
appetite. She also had periods of almost manic elation.
Following left-hemisphere attacks, Mary became depressed and agitated,

suffered from insomnia and considered suicide. Voices were telling her she was
bad, and her radio kept saying “googli googli.” After right-sided attacks,
her mood became manic and her behavior flighty; she danced on her bed and
behaved seductively toward the hospital staff. It was as if the left side of
her brain had a different mood, even a different personality from the right.
( Source - Laurence Miller, “The Emotional Brain,” Psychology Today, 1988.)
II. Oil
Oil, like coal, formed many ages ago. It may have formed from tiny sea
creatures which died and were buried in the ooze of shallow sea bottoms. The
fatty parts of the cells of these creatures collected and, over the years,
changed into oil.
Oil contains carbon, as coal does. It also contains hydrogen. The carbon
and hydrogen, combined together, form very tiny collections of atoms called
“molecules.” Because only hydrogen and carbon are present in the molecules,
they are known as “hydrocarbon molecules.” Oil is a mixture of hydro-carbon
molecules of various sizes. The larger the molecule, the more sludgy the
hydrocarbon is, and the harder it is to heat it and make a gas of it.
In oil, there are very big molecules that produce a kind of tar when
separated out. There are smaller molecules which produce a thick liquid that
doesn’t evaporate much when it is heated. There are still smaller molecules
which produce a thinner liquid that evaporates easily when it is heated, and
it then becomes a gas. And there are very small molecules that bubble off as
“natural gas” at once, even when it is cold.
All these different kinds of hydrocarbons have their uses and all can burn.
The smaller the molecule, the more easily it can burn. When oil is treated
in such a way that the different kinds of hydrocarbon are separated, each for
its own use, the oil is “refined.”
Oil is lighter than water, so it slowly makes its way up through the water in
the soil and through tiny cracks and holes in rock. Sometimes the oil reaches
the surface and collects there as a kind of sticky, thick, black liquid. Even
ancient man knew about oil that reaches the surface in that way. He made use
of it sometimes.
Most oil, however, rose upward till it reached a layer of solid rock with no
tiny holes in it. Then it could rise no further and just stayed there. If a
hole was bored through that solid rock, oil from the trapped pool would shoot
up to the surface. This was an “oil well.”
Once an oil well is located, the oil is much easier to handle than coal is. No
one has to go deep underground in order to chip out solid chunks of material.
A hole is drilled, and the oil then comes up by itself. Instead of having to
carry it here and there by railroad, oil can pour through pipes to wherever
you want it to go. (If you want to send oil overseas, however, you have to
use big ships called tankers.)
The biggest difficulty in dealing with oil is finding those places where there
are pools of oil underground. People didn’t try very hard to do this at first,
because there didn’t seem to be many uses for oil. In the second half of the
1800s, oil was used mostly for lighting. Oil was slowly burned in special
lamps. Usually it was some sort of animal oil that was used. In the early
1800s men hunted whales and used “whale oil” for lamps.
It was easier to get oil from the ground, though, and separate the molecules
that formed a liquid called “kerosene.” Kerosene lamps became quite popular.
(Source - Isaac Asimov, “Oil” in Earth Our Crowded Spaceship, Greenwich, Connecticut: Fawcett
Publications.)
In the following essay, author Joan Didion writes about self-respect. This essay appeared in the
magazine Vogue in 1961, and Didion clearly has that readership in mind as she writes.
Focus for reading: Note the tone and adjustments to objectivity of voice that result from the
writer’s concern for her audience. As you read consider the tone and voice used by the writer,
the effect of the use of the pronoun “I,” as well as the following questions:
(1) What purpose does the narrative serve?
(2) What are the primary strategies used by the writer to develop the essay?
On Self-Respect
Once, in a dry season, I wrote in large letters across two pages of a

notebook that innocence ends when one is stripped of the illusion that one
likes oneself. Although now, some years later, I marvel that a mind on the
outs with itself should have nonetheless made painstaking record of its every
tremor, I recall with embarrassing clarity the flavor of those particular
ashes. It was a matter of misplaced self-respect.
Analysis 251
I had not been elected to Phi Beta Kappa. This failure could scarcely have
been more predictable or less ambiguous (I simply did not have the grades),
but I was unnerved by it; I had somehow thought myself a kind of academic
Raskolnikov, curiously exempt from the cause-effect relationships which
hampered others. Although even the humorless nineteen-year-old that I was
must have recognized that the situation lacked real tragic stature, the day
that I did not make Phi Beta Kappa nonetheless marked the end of something,
and innocence may well be the word for it. I lost the conviction that lights
would always turn green for me, the pleasant certainty that those rather
passive virtues which had won me approval as a child automatically guaranteed
me not only Phi Beta Kappa keys but happiness, honor, and the love of a good
man; lost a certain touching faith in the totem power of good manners, clean
hair, and proven competence on the Stanford-Binet scale. To such doubtful
amulets had my self-respect been pinned, and I faced myself that day with
the nonplused apprehension of someone who has come across a vampire and has
no crucifix at hand.
Although to be driven back upon oneself is an uneasy affair at best, rather

like trying to cross a border with borrowed credentials, it seems to me now
the one condition necessary to the beginnings of real self-respect. Most
of our platitudes notwithstanding, self-deception remains the most difficult
deception. The tricks that work on others count for nothing in that very
well-lit back alley where one keeps assignations with oneself: no winning
smiles will do here, no prettily drawn lists of good intentions. One shuffles
flashily but in vain through one’s marked cards – the kindness done for
the wrong reason, the apparent triumph which involved no real effort, the
seemingly heroic act into which one had been shamed. The dismal fact is that
self-respect has nothing to do with the approval of others - who are, after
all, deceived easily enough; has nothing to do with reputation, which, as
Rhett Butler told Scarlett O’Hara, is something people with courage can do
without.
To do without self-respect, on the other hand, is to be an unwilling audience

of one to an interminable documentary that details one’s failings, both real
and imagined, with fresh footage spliced in for every screening. There’s
the glass you broke in anger, there’s the hurt on X’s face; watch now, this
next scene, the night Y came back from Houston, see how you muff this one.
To live without self-respect is to lie awake some night beyond the reach of
warm milk, phenobarbital, and the sleeping hand on the coverlet, counting
up the sins of commission and omission, the trusts betrayed, the promises
subtly broken, the gifts irrevocably wasted through sloth or cowardice or
carelessness. However long we postpone it, we eventually lie down alone in
that notoriously uncomfortable bed, the one we make ourselves. Whether or not
we sleep in it depends, of course, on whether or not we respect ourselves.
To protest that some fairly improbable people, some people who could not
possibly respect themselves, seem to sleep easily enough is to miss the point
entirely, as surely as those people miss it who think that self-respect has
necessarily to do with not having safety pins in one’s underwear. There is a
common superstition that “self-respect” is a kind of charm against snakes,
something that keeps those who have it locked in some unblighted Eden, out of
strange beds, ambivalent conversations, and trouble in general. It does not
at all. It has nothing to do with the face of things, but concerns instead
a separate peace, a private reconciliation. Although the careless, suicidal
Julian English in Appointment in Samarra and the careless, incurably dishonest
Jordan Baker in The Great Gatsby seem equally improbable candidates for
self-respect, Jordan Baker had it, Julian English did not. With that genius
for accommodation more often seen in women than in men, Jordan took her own
measure, made her own peace, avoided threats to that peace: “I hate careless
people,” she told Nick Carraway. “It takes two to make an accident.”
Like Jordan Baker, people with self-respect have the courage of their
mistakes. They know the price of things. If they choose to commit adultery,
they do not then go running, in an excess of bad conscience, to receive
absolution from the wronged parties; nor do they complain unduly of the
unfairness, the undeserved embarrassment, of being named co-respondent. In
brief, people with self-respect exhibit a certain toughness, a kind of moral
nerve; they display what was once called character, a quality which, although
approved in the abstract, sometimes loses ground to other, more instantly
negotiable virtues. The measure of its slipping prestige is that one tends
to think of it only in connection with homely children and United States
senators who have been defeated, preferably in the primary, for reelection.
Nonetheless, character – the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s
own life – is the source from which self-respect springs.
Self-respect is something that our grandparents, whether or not they had it,
knew all about. They had instilled in them, young, a certain discipline, the
sense that one lives by doing things one does not particularly want to do, by
putting fears and doubts to one side, by weighing immediate comforts against
the possibility of larger, even intangible, comforts. It seemed to the
nineteenth century admirable, but not remarkable, that Chinese Gordon put
on a clean white suit and held Khartoum against the Mahdi; it did not seem
unjust that the way to free land in California involved death and difficulty
and dirt. In a diary kept during the winter of 1846, an emigrating twelve-
year-old named Narcissa Cornwall noted coolly: “Father was busy reading and
did not notice that the house was being filled with strange Indians until
Mother spoke about it.” Even lacking any clue as to what Mother said, one can
scarcely fail to be impressed by the entire incident: the father reading,
the Indians filing in, the mother choosing the words that would not alarm,
the child duly recording the event and noting further that those particular
Indians were not, “fortunately for us,” hostile. Indians were simply part
of the donnée.
Analysis 253
In one guise or another, Indians always are. Again, it is a question of

recognizing that anything worth having has its price. People who respect
themselves are willing to accept the risk that the Indians will be hostile,
that the venture will go bankrupt, that the liaison may not turn out to be
one in which every day is a holiday because you’re married to me. They are
willing to invest something of themselves; they may not play at all, but when
they do play, they know the odds.
That kind of self-respect is a discipline, a habit of mind that can never

be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth. It was once suggested
to me that, as an antidote to crying, I put my head in a paper bag. As it
happens, there is a sound physiological reason, something to do with oxygen,
for doing exactly that, but the psychological effect alone is incalculable:
it is difficult in the extreme to continue fancying oneself Cathy in Wuthering
Heights with one’s head in a Food Fair bag. There is a similar case for all
the small disciplines, unimportant in themselves; imagine maintaining any
kind of swoon, commiserative or carnal, in a cold shower.
But those small disciplines are valuable only insofar as they represent
larger ones. To say that Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton is not
to say that Napoleon might have been saved by a crash program in cricket;
to give formal dinners in the rain forest would be pointless did not the
candlelight flickering on the liana call forth deeper, stronger disciplines,
values instilled long before. It is a kind of ritual, helping us to remember
who and what we are. In order to remember it, one must have known it.
To have that sense of one’s intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is

potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to
remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically
incapable of either love or indifference. If we do not respect ourselves, we
are on the one hand forced to despise those who have so few resources as
to consort with us, so little perception as to remain blind to our fatal
weaknesses. On the other, we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see,
curiously determined to live out – since our self-image is untenable – their
false notions of us. We flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion to
please others an attractive trait: a gist for imaginative empathy, evidence
of our willingness to give. Of course I will play Francesca to your Paolo,
Helen Keller to anyone’s Annie Sullivan: no expectation is too misplaced, no
role too ludicrous. At the mercy of those we cannot but hold in contempt, we
play roles doomed to failure before they are begun, each defeat generating
fresh despair at the urgency of divining and meeting the next demand made
upon us.
It is the phenomenon sometimes called “alienation from self.” In its advanced

stages, we no longer answer the telephone, because someone might want
something; that we could say no without drowning in self-reproach is an
idea alien to this game. Every encounter demands too much, tears the nerves,
drains the will, and the specter of something as small as an unanswered

letter arouses such disproportionate guilt that answering it becomes out of
the question. To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us
from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves – there lies
the great, the singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually
discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds
no one at home.
(Source - Joan Didion, “On Self-Respect,” in Slouching Towards Bethlehem, Farrar, Straus and
Giroux, Inc., 1961, 1968.)

1. At the end of paragraph three the writer lists two things that, in her view, self respect
has nothing to do with. Do you agree that reputation and approval of others are not
important considerations?
2. Didion assumes a well-read audience. Several of the allusions are pertinent and necessary
for a fuller understanding of the essay. Most of the allusions are to characters in novels
and other literary works. For example, Raskolnikov is the main character in Dostoevsky’s
Crime and Punishment. As part of your reading find out more about this character (and the
novel). Find out about the following also: Phi Beta Kappa; Stanford-Binet Scale; Helen
Keller; Napoleon and Waterloo; the novels: Appointment in Samarra, The Great Gatsby,
Wuthering Heights.
3. What purpose is served by the use of these allusions and other examples in the essay?
4. Discuss the assertion that self-respect springs from character. How is this assertion
supported in the essay?
5. The essay falls into three sections. What is the particular focus of each?
6. Compare the tone, voice and style of Didion’s essay with that of Asimov’s; what
similarities and differences can you detect?
7. Build your vocabulary by checking on the usage of the following words.

amulets assignation commiserative
interminable platitudes ambivalent
8. Based on your reading notes and any additional thoughts you generated during class
discussion, write an analysis of the essay, paying particular attention to (i) the subject
matter (content), the thesis and supporting information; (ii) the rhetorical strategies
Analysis 255
used to develop the essay; (iii) the effectiveness of the various strategies; (iv) the logical
development of ideas; (v) the tone, voice and style of the writer.
We can summarise at this point by noting that expository discourse, because it serves the primary
purpose of informing, is more objective than other kinds of discourse, notably narration and
artistic description, which use language that is primarily suggestive. Although Didion’s tone
is less impersonal than that of the writer of the extract on twilight, and much of what she
has to say is based on a subjective perspective, she maintains an objective voice in presenting
that subjective view, for the most part. Objectivity has as much to do with the writer’s attitude
to the subject as to the actual language that is used. We extend the discussion on language
by looking at other examples of analysis that maintain an objective voice but vary in tone.
The language of analysis, of academic studies in the humanities and the sciences is objective
and impersonal; however, there are differences in the various disciplines that have to do with
technical vocabularies. For instance, in explaining how research was conducted, the writer of the
following excerpt is concerned with presenting complete information in a straightforward way:
The sample for this study was drawn at random from a group of fifteen-year-old
males in the “high risk” category. The sample was screened to eliminate any
subject who had been previously subjected to a similar intervention, or who
had had counselling prior to the study. The data for the study were collected
over a period of twenty four months ….
Application: The Language of Analysis

Read the following excerpts and in each case write a commentary for someone who has not read
the excerpt. Your commentary should include the following: (a) a summary of the subject as it
is presented by the writer, (b) a discussion of (i) the writer’s treatment of the subject and the
writer’s attitude to it, (ii) the voice, tone and purpose of the writer, (iii) the rhetorical strategies
that are used by the writer to make the subject clear to the reader and (iv) a comment on the
relevance and effectiveness of these strategies.
I.
Discipline Through Dancing
Dance is an emblem of cultural identity, an expression of religious worship,

cultural mores, and expression of social order and power.
Discipline is acquired or achieved to its highest level through dancing.

Dance helps to strengthen the connection between your mind and body by
developing your ability to concentrate allowing energy to flow back and forth.
One gains imaginary motivation, is able to maintain the right mental state
by concentrating on inner impulses, and with rhythmic interactions, feelings
and emotions are transferred to us, leading into earth bound passions or the
most celestial ecstasies beyond all treasures of mankind.
Ballet, which is the quintessentially European form of dance drama, has its
origins in the court entertainments of Renaissance Italy and France. Out of
the court spectacles of Europe’s grandest monarch Louis XIV of France evolved
the wordless dance drama known as “ballet.”
The ancient Hebrews were surrounded by people for whom, in the words of
historian E. Louis Backman, “dance was a means of influencing the invisible
powers and of establishing contact with them.”
The classical Javanese court dance, the Bedayo, suggests dance as “the public
projection of the disciplined self.”
In India dance has been used as a vehicle of worship. As an expression

of man’s most profound emotions, his various states of mind. The basic
strategy of Indian dance was laid down some two thousand years ago in the
Natya Shastra which is the 5th Veda (the Sanskrit word for knowledge). It
asserts that dance drama properly performed, emboldens the weak, energizes
the heroic, enlightens the ignorant and imparts erudition to the scholars by
showing humanity and divinity as they really are.
Nataraja, the cosmic dancer, as an example or as supreme manifestation of

the essence of Indian dance, is the Image of Shiva, a true example of a
disciplined image. The jewelled ornament of the crescent moon on the forehead
as symbol of complete control of the senses.
The serpents wound around his arms and wrists, proof of his control over
vital life forces. His foot raised high over the wicked demon a symbol of
triumph over the ego. Using from the smallest eye muscle to arms, hands,
legs, feet, torso and face – gestures of the body are followed by glance,
concentration of mind, mood and sentiment.
If one applied the five main characteristics of a good dance choreograph

into their daily lives, one would achieve the same discipline as that of
a dancer. 1. Unity: with people flowing together; 2. Continuity: developing
with a logical conclusion; 3. Transition: making progression from one phrase
to another; 4. Variety: to maintain interest and involvement; 5. Projection:
involves sensitivity and awareness.
New generations must be nurtured and educated through dance. Young people
can be taught how men and women behave in society. Long ago parents felt
that instruction in dancing made children acquire the skill they needed to
succeed in society. When people leave the society they were born in, dance is
one of the things they take with them; as soon as they arrive in a new place
and start dancing, they recreate consciously or unconsciously an important
part of their heritage.
(Source - Marilyn Bose, “Discipline Through Dancing,” The Caribbean Voice, 2, 1995.)
Analysis 257
II. For many fish species, survival means fellowship with others of their
kind – whether in tightly organized schools or looser aggregations. The way
they stick together and the varied behaviors they exhibit have delighted,
perplexed and amused observers for centuries (Smithsonian, January 1974).
Some species gather in groups of no more than half a dozen, and may be
sociable for only a few days or weeks a year. Others spend almost their
entire lives swimming in formation with thousands of their fellows, packed
together so tightly that they nearly rub fins as they swim.
To coordinate their activities, fishes communicate in many and sometimes most

unusual ways. Some rely on sight and distinctive body-color patterns. Most
have special sense organs on their skins that can “hear” the movement of
their cohorts through the water around them. Others talk to one another in
private languages of clicks, grunts and growls. And still others communicate
with electric pulses that they generate in highly specialized muscles.
Different kinds of fish schools can be both similar to and different from
other kinds of animal groups. We’ve learned over the past 20 years or so,
for example, that many animal societies are collections of close relatives;
the 22 million members of the African driver ant colonies are all sisters
(though they may have different fathers), and members of many mammal groups
– such as lion prides and certain monkey troops – are at least as closely
related as cousins. Not surprisingly, many intricate, fascinating and often
savage things that these animals do – ranging from aggression and infanticide
to food sharing and caring for the young of others – are based on the
individual’s ability to keep track of who is related to whom.
Among fishes, though, familial relationships are looser. Many schooling

species engage in group sex during spawning – a wild affair during which mad
dashes and gyrations by ensembles of males and females lead to the release
of countless invisible sperm and nearly invisible eggs. Unlike birds (and
some solitary or pair-forming fish species), who feed or shelter their young,
and mammals, who suckle them, schooling fishes abandon eggs and larvae to
float away on the currents. This drifting makes it unlikely that the fish in
large schools are closely related to one another, and the lack of interaction
between parents and offspring makes it equally unlikely that they themselves
can tell whether they are related or not.
Yet fish schools can have the same sorts of “personalities” as more familiar
animal groups. Some, like large flocks of many birds, appear to be egalitarian.
Large schools of open-water fishes and the small clusters of minnows you’re
apt to see in shallow water may not have predetermined “leaders.” Instead,
decisions are somehow made by one or more individuals within the school
signaling by behavior changes that they have detected food, predators or
better water conditions. The message spreads from those individuals like a
wave across the group, gradually affecting everyone in the crowd.
(Source - S. Levine, “For Fish in Schools Togetherness Is the Only Way To Go,”
Smithsonian, 4, pp. 89-92.)
III. When writers and linguistic researchers describe writing as a process,

they are attempting to describe the incredibly complex system of transforming
thought into written communication. This description has had a significant
impact on the composition teacher whose demand for a product has been replaced
by a concern for the series of stages, both focused and unfocused, conscious
as well as unconscious, which make up the writing process. It has meant
utilizing the stage-process model – prewriting, writing, sharing/responding,
revising, editing, and evaluating – as a teaching tool to facilitate student
writing. To do so, the composition teacher has had to reassess his or her
goals and determine how to marry his or her process as a teacher with that
of the student writer to improve the ultimate product.
The stage-process model begins by focusing on prewriting. Prewriting activities

are designed to stimulate the flow of ideas before any structured writing
begins. Writing arises out of a sense of having something to communicate. Any
exercise which stimulates the writer’s inner voice to seek verbalization is a
prewriting activity. Brainstorming, clustering, debating, free writing, and
fantasizing are a few of the infinite possibilities. Prewriting activities
generate ideas; they encourage a free flow of thoughts and help students
discover both what they want to say and how to communicate it on paper.
In other words, prewriting activities facilitate the planning for both the
product and the process.
With a desire to communicate, students move to the next stage, writing.

They allow their ideas to take shape by putting words to paper. However,
the writers may lack any conscious awareness of what they specifically want
to communicate. Writing then becomes a discovery on the conscious level.
This movement of an idea to the conscious level allows for spontaneity and
creativity and must not be impeded by concerns over correctness. Writing
is simplified as the writers let go and disappear into the act of writing.
As Sondra Perl says in her article, “Understanding Composing” (College
Composition and Communication, December, 1980), “Writing is a
process of coming into being.”
Having expressed themselves, the students move to the next stage called
sharing. Writing can be a very lonely process; some of the difficulty in
writing comes from the fact that it is one-way communication. Unlike speech,
a writer’s words often go untested. The writers use their own reactions to
their words for primary feedback. Frequently, writers become so engrossed in
what they are saying that it is impossible to distinguish between what they
want to say and what they said. Given a chance to share with others, student
writers gain a sense of the power of their words to impact others. They gain
a sense of audience, a significant trusted other, who will be influenced by the
words of the writer. It is not unusual at this phase for writers to discover
an incongruity between the purpose and the effect of their writing; writers
may have intended to communicate a specific idea but, through the feedback of
peers, learn that they did not do so. Then writers are at liberty to revise
or possibly reassess their intention.
Analysis 259
Besides providing an audience and reactions to the writing, sharing generates

enthusiasm about writing. Writers are inspired by effective student models
to improve their own communication. Moreover, in responding to the writing
being shared by others, writers gain a clearer sense of what distinguishes
effective from ineffective writing. Once the students have discovered that they
can write, the instructor can now teach revising and editing skills because
the student writers will not only need them but will also request them.
Revising, then, is a re-viewing of the writing in light of the feedback. It is a

reworking of the composition on both semantic and lexical levels; the writers
are concerned not only with the words they have chosen to express their ideas
but also with how these words work together. The student writers’ scratch
out, mark over, add, rephrase, and reorder to make their words consistent
with the intended meaning. It is a focused and conscious manipulation of
words. Changes may be in words, phrases, sentences, paragraphs, or in the
total composition.
Revision actually can occur at any time during the writing process because of
the recursive nature of the act of composing. Sondra Perl further explains
that writing is not simply a linear process but a “forward-moving action
that exists by virtue of a backward-moving action.” Writers put words to
a page and immediately go back to see what they have created. Sondra Perl
contends that writers not only go back to bits of discourse but also return
to their notion of the topic as well as to the “non-verbalized perceptions
that surround the words.” Student writers go backward to discover what they
said and move forward to elaborate on it. The impulse to revise could occur
at any time.
After addressing meaning, writers focus on correctness. This next stage in

the writing process is editing, the imposing of correctness. Editing is a
focused, deliberate, grammatical concern. The writers continue to rework
their papers by adding and deleting and by correcting punctuation, spelling
and grammar. In keeping with the purpose of their work, the writers conform
to the standards of written English.
During this altering and refining phase, the teacher will be called on to
use his or her linguistic expertise. Appropriately, the composition teacher
addresses grammar when it is relevant. Rather than using arbitrary grammar
and punctuation exercises, the teacher is able to draw on the students’ own
writing to illustrate polishing techniques. Within that context, the writers
utilize and increase their knowledge of the structure of the language to
improve communication.
(Source - Cathy D’Aoust, “Teaching Writing as Process,” in Practical Ideas for Teaching Writing,
California State Department of Education, 1987.)
•
Writing Subject and Process Analyses

Most of the writing that students at university are asked to do involves analysis. In all the
disciplines, writing assignments will involve subject analysis. In the sciences, perhaps more than
in other disciplines, students are required to write process analysis. Explaining the steps that
are to be followed in setting up an experiment is just one example of an informative process
analysis. You will find the strategies that we recommended in Section Four useful as you draft
and revise the analysis that you have written.
Subject Analysis
The main purpose in writing an analysis is to inform your audience in such a way that the subject
is clear to them. It is important at the outset to find a focus for the analysis. Assuming that a
topic has been assigned, the writer’s task is to shape the topic, select an interesting angle for
presentation and find the relevant information that is to be presented. If a topic has not been
assigned, the first task is to find one in which you are interested and which is worth analysing.
Once you have found a worthy topic, you can then proceed to shape it according to interest and
with a specific audience in mind. Try to determine the best way in which the information can be
presented and how it can be divided.
As with most other stages in writing, you can ask questions to help you focus on the task.
• What is my reason for writing this analysis?

• Am I clear about my purpose for writing it?
• Is the method of development that I plan to use clear to me?
• Will the subject be clear to my reader if I use this method of development?
• Have I thought about all aspects of this topic that the reader will want to know about?
• What do I want to achieve in this essay?
You can probably think of other pertinent questions that you can add to this list. The next
important task is to plan your essay, decide on your thesis and begin to sketch the main points or
subtopics that you want to include and a rough indication of the organisation. You can revise the
organisation later on if you need to do so; at this point try to decide on the parts or subdivisions
that you will include. As you write down the main ideas that you will use to support your thesis,
you may find it necessary to refine the thesis statement itself. The points that you write will more
or less correspond to the main divisions of the subject and essay. There are different ways in
which you can develop a subject analysis. Responses to the questions who, what, when, where, how
and why can be one basis for generating information and organising.
Analysis 261
Another way in which you can prepare an outline is to represent the information graphically
in the form of an organisation chart or a simple pie diagram (see Figure 1) on which you can
show the importance of each subtopic relative to the others. The size of each labelled portion
on the chart represents the proportion of attention and information which that sub part will
be given. Let us suppose you wanted to write about field sports in the Caribbean. You might
have generated the following list: cricket, football, basketball, netball, volleyball, hockey, rugby,
lacrosse, baseball, croquet and so on. Your pie diagram or organisation wheel will show roughly
the proportion of space to be given to each sport in the essay. In the diagram cricket and football
have been given larger portions because in the Caribbean they are the more popular sports and
much is known about them. The smaller sections identify less well-known sports that are played
in one or two territories only. You can continue your planning using the diagram in the following
ways. You can add subtopics based on the focus that you have decided upon (see Figure 2). For
example, if you have chosen a historical focus, you would include information that indicated
when the sport was introduced and trace its major developments over a period that you have
selected. If you wanted to provide an explanation of the different sports, you would need to
add other kinds of information. You could also use the diagram for comparing and contrasting
selected sports.
Figure 1: Field Sports in the Caribbean
Cricket
Croquet
Players
Referee Lacrosse
Rules
Players Gear, etc. Rugby
Referee
Rules
Gear, etc.
Football
Golf
Hockey
Netball
Basketball
Figure 2: Field Sports in the Caribbean
Cricket
Croquet
Lacrosse
Rugby
Football
Golf
Hockey
Netball
Basketball
Another way in which you can organise your paper is by discussing larger divisions first and
then proceeding to deal with the others in descending order. Alternatively, you can begin with
the smallest one first and end with the largest one. You must remember to discuss each part,
to show how it relates to the whole and to follow a pattern of organisation that is consistent
and sensible. The reader must be able to follow your thinking on the subject, so it is helpful to
include supporting information, such as illustrations that will help to clarify the subject. After
you have planned your essay, write a draft of it. The suggestions and lists of questions that we
have included in Section Four for drafting, revising and editing will be useful for this purpose. In
order to examine how other writers develop their paragraphs and essays, use the lists we provide
to check some of the analysis extracts that are incorporated in this text.
Application: Subject Analysis

1. Select one of the following topics and write an analysis of about 500 words being careful
to show the different components of the subject.
(a) A reggae band
(b) A symphony orchestra
(c) Caribbean music

Analysis 263
(d) Forms of government
(e) The human body
(f) Popular sports in the Caribbean
(g) Road tennis
2. Peer editing activity. After you have produced a first draft, exchange your paper with
a classmate or someone with whom you share your work. Let the peer editor use the
following set of questions as a basis for providing you with feedback on your essay. Edit
your classmate’s essay also, using the questions as a guide.
• Are you able to determine the writer’s purpose in writing this essay?
• If the writer has provided subdivisions of the subject, are they clear?
• Has the writer provided sufficient information about each subdivision or subtopic?
• If one or two subdivisions are given more (or less) attention than the others, are the
reasons for doing so clear?
• Are there any sentences that are not well-formed or grammatical structures that are
problematic? If there are, underline them.
• Underline any spelling and punctuation that you think are problematic.
• Write a general comment in which you inform your classmate of your reactions to
the essay. Comment on specific parts that you think the writer ought to give special
attention in revising.
3. Revise the essay, taking into consideration those comments made by the peer editor that
you think are useful. Use the following questions as a guide for editing the essay yourself.
Self-editing questions.
• Is the thesis of my essay clear to the reader?
• Have I explained the subtopics in sufficient detail?
• Are the subdivisions clearly delineated in the essay?
• Have I made it clear how the subparts relate to the entire subject?
• Have I included transitional elements and cohesive ties to make the relationships
within and between paragraphs clear to the reader?
• Is the ending of the essay satisfactory? Does it give a sense of completeness – that
the subject has been dealt with thoroughly?
4. Revise the draft and proofread it for errors of spelling and mechanics before you submit
it.
Process Analysis
•
Your instructor may want to find out whether you have understood certain concepts that were
taught in a course, and may ask you to write a process analysis in which you explain how a certain
phenomenon works or is created, or how to perform a certain task. For example, in your geology
class you may be asked to explain how volcanoes come into being, or in physics, how power
can be generated from solar heat for a specific purpose. If the choice of topic has been left to
you and you have some initial difficulty deciding on a suitable one, use the techniques we have
suggested for getting started. For example, if there is a subject that you wanted to find out more
about, but did not have sufficient time to pursue in the course, you can conduct research on it
and brainstorm to find an appropriate focus for it. Choose a topic in which you are genuinely
interested, because your attitude towards your topic will filter through the essay, and if you are
lukewarm about the topic, your reader is likely to respond to the essay in a similar way or may
not bother to read it at all.
You also need to be familiar with the subject matter in order to write a directive process analysis.
If you were assigned a botany task which required you to explain how to protect plants against
leaf spot or some other disease or how to graft different plant species to get a particular result,
you would first have to understand these processes thoroughly in order to be able to explain
them well. As we have suggested elsewhere, you could begin with generating ideas about the
topic you selected by brainstorming or using one of the other strategies outlined in this text.
Jot down the information that you know about the subject; you will have a good indication of
the areas in which you lack knowledge, and you can then go on and do further research in these
areas. You should also jot down your ideas for developing the essay. Particularly important in
writing a process analysis is to keep the needs of the audience in mind. People read process
analyses because they have a need for the information, and they expect to find it presented in an
appropriate format and written in language that they can understand. If it is a directive process
analysis, they must be able to duplicate the procedures based on the directions that you have
provided. The order in which you present the information must therefore be logical and the
steps clear to the reader.
After you have generated some ideas, list the essential information that you need to present.
For instance, for a directive process you should list the tools and materials that are needed to
complete the process in a satisfactory way. Ask yourself what is involved in the process, how it
Analysis 265
is done and why, and jot down your responses to these questions. Determine the best order of
presenting the information that you have generated. Think of examples and illustrations that
will help to make your explanations clear to the reader. If, for instance, a particular procedure is
unfamiliar, you can refer to a familiar one that will help to clarify the unfamiliar one. Consider
what is the best order of presentation; list the stages (informational process) and steps (directive
process) that are involved and that you will follow in your presentation. Write down definitions
of technical terms that your reader is not likely to know, and be sure to clarify them in your
paragraph or essay. Note how the writer of the following extract on sunspots is careful to clarify
unfamiliar terms for the reader.
Solar maximum is the peak of the sunspot cycle when there may be dozens and
dozens of sunspots – highly magnetized dark areas in the Sun’s turbulent
surface layer. Many of the spots are clustered in large “active regions,”
where solar flares explode and prominences – glowing arches tens of thousands
of miles across – erupt, propelling huge masses of magnetized, electrified gas
far into interplanetary space. The flares reach temperatures of millions of
degrees in the corona, the tenuous outermost layer of the solar atmosphere,
sparking intense ultraviolet light, x rays and gamma rays.
(Source - “When All Hell Breaks Loose on the Sun, Astronomers Scramble to Understand,”
Smithsonian, 1990.)
Draft a thesis statement that brings the subject of writing into focus. The article on inhalers does
this: “The inhaler is a good way of taking asthma medicine.” At once we expect that information
will be given on ways of taking asthma medicine with inhalers. As you write, use transitions that
will help the reader follow the steps or stages that you present. Time markers will help to make
the chronological sequence or progression of steps clear. Edit and revise your work so that the
final copy is a product with which you are satisfied.
ASSIGNMENT
Answer either question 1 or 2 and then proceed to questions 3, 4, and 5.
1. Write an informative process analysis on one of the following topics.
(a) How the aurora come into being
(b) How a road is built in your territory
(c) How earth warming happens
(d) How weight can be lost effectively

2. Write a directive process analysis on one of the following topics.
(a) How to put a newsletter together
(b) How to set up and conduct a favourite experiment
(c) How to play your favourite game
3. Exchange your paper with a classmate and use the following questions as guides in
preparing a commentary for your classmate on his or her essay. Seek feedback for your
essay by asking your classmate to use the question guides also.
• Has the writer presented the steps/stages of the process in the most logical order?
• If not, what changes will lead to a clearer presentation?
• Is there any part of the process where you lose interest? If so, mark the places.
• Are the directions clear to you, or do you need further explanations for any of
them?
• Has the writer answered all the questions you have about the process? Are there any
gaps of information? Indicate where if any, and say what they are.
• Mark any sentences or grammatical structures that are not well-formed.
• Mark any instances where the writer does not observe agreement of subject and
verb, and pronouns and antecedents.
• Mark any instances of inconsistency in the use of pronouns and tenses.
• Mark any instances of spelling and punctuation that are problematic.
• Write a general comment for your classmate on your reaction to the paper.
4. Revise your paper using those comments made by your classmate with which you agree
and that you find useful. Focus on the following (a) content: the substance/quality of
ideas (b) the accuracy of information (c) the organisation, (d) the language and mechanics.
Use the following list of questions as a guide for editing and checking your own work.
• Have I covered all the steps/stages in the process?
• Is every step clear and complete? Have I omitted any information that is necessary
for the reader to understand the process?
Analysis 267
• Are all the directions clear and unambiguous?
• Are the words that I have chosen the most appropriate in the context?
• Do I use appropriate techniques/devices to maintain the reader’s interest? Will an

illustration or an example or analogy help to make the more difficult steps clearer?
• Have I used appropriate and sufficient transitional and cohesive markers to make the
relationships between steps/stages (sentences and paragraphs) clear to the reader?
• (If a directive process) Have I presented any additional tips to make the process
clear – for example, do I indicate any possible snags that may be encountered in
duplicating the process?
• Have I explained any technical terms that may be unfamiliar to the reader?
5. Rewrite your essay and then proofread, checking carefully for grammar, spelling,
mechanics, and any other errors you may have overlooked at the first revision.
21
Causal
Writing in English Writ- ing in Analysis
The Characteristics of Cause and Effect Analysis
When we ask the question “Why did this happen?” or “What caused this?” we expect to be given
reasons or explanations of causes of the things or events that led to a particular occurrence or
effect. When we ask the question “What will happen if X takes place?” we expect an answer that
will inform us about the effect(s) that result from a particular action or event. We can reason
from cause to effect or from effect to cause depending on how we pose the question. When
we ask about the cause of something, we first look at effects and try to determine the cause
or causes on the basis of the effects that we can observe. On the other hand, if we ask about
effects, we look at the causes and work from there. As an example – if someone asks us what
will happen if a hurricane like Marilyn or Luis comes through the region again, we are likely
to be able to give a list of possible occurrences based on what we know about hurricanes and
what they do; if we have experienced a hurricane or seen its aftermath, we can draw up a list of
effects.
It is an easier task to indicate effects than causes. In some instances it may not be possible to
state categorically that one particular thing caused a specific effect. In reality there are likely to
be several related causes some of which are more significant than others, some more immediate
(or proximate) and others more distant (or remote). Writers will usually include the immediate
causes for a particular effect, but they may not include the more remote causes. Let us consider
an everyday example. Carol is frying plantains for dinner when the telephone rings. She leaves
the plantains and rushes to the telephone probably expecting a brief call or certain that she
can make it brief. However, her daughter is on the line, calling long distance to tell her about
an accident in which Carol’s grandchild was seriously hurt and had to be taken to the intensive
care unit. That chases all thoughts of plantains from Carol’s mind and they burn. What caused
this? The proximate cause is that they were left on the burner while Carol went to answer the
telephone. One might cite Carol’s carelessness as a more immediate cause than the answering
of the telephone or any of the other events described. A writer would be more likely to cite the
burner left on, Carol’s carelessness in leaving the burner on and the ringing of the telephone as
immediate causes for the burning of the plantains. Depending on the purpose and the amount
of information that the writer wished to include, other details that have to do with the nature of
the call that detained Carol for longer than she intended and caused her to forget the plantains
would be included.
When we try to find causes and effects we are involved in a reasoning process of finding inferences,
of tracing the logical relationship(s) between one thing and another. One may represent causes
Causal Analysis 269
and effects in different ways. Depending on the purpose of the writing, some may list the effects
while others may integrate them in the text and the reader has to read carefully to find out what
they are. The following excerpt first appeared in a local newspaper; how does the writer present
the effects? Why does he present them in the particular way that he does?
Achoo! Is a Doctor in the House?
Is your building sick? Far from being able to answer that question, many
people wanted to know what was building sickness or Sick Building Syndrome.
“It has to do with industrial relations,” one person ventured. “It is when
employees are frequently reporting sick.” Others thought it had to do with
dust mites in old buildings and someone said that it is when the building is
sick. However, Sick Building Syndrome is the high prevalence of complaints
and sickness among workers, for which there is no apparent cause and which
cannot be attributed to any industrial action.
When ten employees go on sick leave with complaints about ten different
ailments ranging from headaches to lethargy and fatigue, it could mean that
Sick Building Syndrome has arrived.
Just how many people are afflicted every year in Barbados is anyone’s guess.
It could be hundreds, even thousands, but that is not reflected in the official
figures. That’s because it is under-reported. According to the occupational
hygienist at the Labour Department, occupational diseases and sicknesses are
classified as notifiable diseases under the law. That is, doctors must notify
the Chief Labour Officer of any cases, while employers who know or suspect
that there may be such cases in their businesses must notify the Chief Labour
Officer and the Chief Medical Officer. Yet only 11 cases were reported in the
ten year period 1984 to 1994.
Sick Building Syndrome may be characterised by headaches, eye irritation,

runny noses, dry throats, itchy/burning skin, lethargy, fatigue, muscle
and joint pains, chest restrictions and respiratory diseases. Recognised
diseases are not part of Sick Building Syndrome. The occupational hygienist
said that contrary to widespread perceptions, Sick Building Syndrome is
often reported in new or newly renovated buildings and not old buildings.
The indoor environment in which Sick Building Syndrome thrives includes

buildings which are fully air conditioned, have low humidity and artificial
lighting, and where workers have little access to fresh air and no control
over the opening of windows.
Sick Building Syndrome remains a controversial topic in the medical

profession. It was originally thought to be psychosomatic but is now being
generally accepted as a real condition. Causes may fall into one or more of
the following six broad areas:
Gaseous air contaminants:
• ozone which is found in photocopiers;

• carbon dioxide accumulations which result from exhalation by humans or from
machinery using hydrocarbon fuels;
• carbon monoxide and nitrous oxides which may be sucked in from the outside
through the air conditioning system;
• formaldehyde from insulation materials in walls or ceilings;
• isocyanates, a cyanide-based compound which comes from paints or from new
foam or sponge;
• organic solvents from fresh paints or cleaning agents;
• ammonia, chlorine from chemicals;
• perfumes and air fresheners;
• exterminator’s pesticides.
Particular Air Contaminants:
• dust from carpets, shelves and stored materials;

• fibres from carpets, drapes and clothing;
• proteinaceous fragments from disintegrating insects, birds and rodent
droppings, and crustacea (such as wood lice).
Poor ventilation:
• inadequate oxygen – little access to fresh air and no control by employees

over the opening of windows.
Biological:
• spores (reproductive bodies of fungi, algae and bacteria).
Electrostatic:
• static electricity such as from computer screens. Charged particles of dust

may be attracted to computer screens; some particles of dust may be repelled
from the screen and may be breathed in by the computer user.
Radiant energy:
• non-ionising radiation, for example ultraviolet and infrared radiation

from some devices, microwave and radio waves from transmission equipment.
Under normal circumstances, some people may not feel well within a building
and this may be a hint of Sick Building Syndrome. People react differently to
various pollutants. Some may not be able to tolerate paints, others may be
Causal Analysis 271
hypersensitive to any kind of paint, glue or solvents while sinuses may be

triggered by a particular perfume.
Finding the source is the beginning of the trail in learning how to beat Sick
Building Syndrome which is silently robbing businesses of many man-hours and
negatively affecting productivity.
(Source - Terry Ally, “Achoo! Is a doctor in the House?” in Caribbean Conservation

News, 8, 1995.)
The writer defines Sick Building Syndrome, discusses its prevalence in Barbados and then goes
on to list the causes. Notice that no attempt is made to distinguish between the more and less
important causes; Ally simply classifies them under six broad categories.
In the following essay on global warming, Carl Sagan explains the phenomenon and traces the
causes and effects of it. As you read, jot down the causes and effects as you encounter them in
the article.
The Warming of the World
When humans first evolved – in the savannahs of East Africa a few million years
ago – our numbers were few and our powers feeble. We knew almost nothing
about controlling our environment – even clothing had yet to be invented. We
were creatures of the climate, utterly dependent upon it.
A few degrees hotter or colder on average, and our ancestors were in trouble.
The toll taken much later by the ice ages, in which average land temperatures
dropped some 8°C (centigrade or Celsius), must have been horrific. And yet, it
is exactly such climatic change that pushed our ancestors to develop tools
and technology, science and civilization. Certainly, skills in hunting,
skinning, tanning, building shelters and refurbishing caves must owe much to
the terrors of the deep ice age.
Today, we live in a balmy epoch, 10,000 years after the last major glaciation.
In this climatic spring, our species has flourished; we now cover the entire
planet and are altering the very appearance of our world. Lately within the
last century or so – humans have acquired, in more ways than one, the ability
to make major changes in that climate upon which we are so dependent. The
Nuclear Winter findings are one dramatic indication that we can change the
climate – in this case, in the spasm of nuclear war. But I wish here to
describe a different kind of climatic danger, this one slower, more subtle
and arising from intentions that are wholly benign.
It is warm down here on Earth because the Sun shines. If the Sun were somehow
turned off, the Earth would rapidly cool. The oceans would freeze, eventually
the atmosphere itself would condense out and our planet would be covered
everywhere by snowbanks of solid oxygen and nitrogen 10 meters (about 30
feet) high. Only the tiny trickle of heat from the Earth’s interior and the
faint starlight would save our world from a temperature of absolute zero.
We know how bright the Sun is; we know how far from it we are; and we
know what fraction of the sunlight reaching the Earth is reflected back to
space (about 30 percent). So we can calculate - with a simple mathematical
equation – what the average temperature of the Earth should be. But when we
do the calculation, we find that the Earth’s temperature should be about 20°C
below the freezing point of water, in stark contradiction to our everyday
experience. What have we done wrong?
As in many such cases in science, what we’ve done wrong is to forget something
– in this case, the atmosphere. Every object in the universe radiates some
kind of light to space; the colder the object, the longer the wavelength of
radiation it emits. The Earth – much colder than the Sun – radiates to space
mainly in the infrared part of the spectrum, not the visible. Were the Sun
turned off, the Earth would soon be indetectable in ordinary visible light,
though it would be brilliantly illuminated in infrared light.
When sunlight strikes the Earth, part is reflected back into the sky; much
of the rest is absorbed by the ground and heats it – the darker the ground,
the greater the heating. The ground radiates back upward in the infrared.
Thus, for an airless Earth, the temperature would be set solely by a balance
between the incoming sunlight absorbed by the surface and the infrared
radiation that the surface emits back to space.
When you put air on a planet, the situation changes. The Earth’s atmosphere
is, generally, still transparent to visible light. That’s why we can see each
other when we talk, glimpse distant mountains and view the stars.
But in the infrared, all that is different. While the oxygen and nitrogen
in the air are transparent in both the infrared and the visible, minor
constituents such as water vapor (H2O) and carbon dioxide (CO2) tend to be
much more opaque in the infrared. It would be useless for us to have eyes
that could see at a wavelength, say, of 15 microns in the infrared, because
the air is murky black there.
Accordingly, if you add air to a world, you heat it: The surface now has
difficulty when it tries to radiate back to space in the infrared. The
atmosphere tends to absorb the infrared radiation, keeping heat near the
surface and providing an infrared blanket for the world. There is very little
CO2 in the Earth’s atmosphere – only 0.03 percent. But that small amount is
enough to make the Earth’s atmosphere opaque in important regions of the
infrared spectrum. CO2 and H2O are the reason the global temperature is not
well below freezing. We owe our comfort – indeed, our very existence - to
the fact that these gases are present and are much more transparent in the
visible than in the infrared. Our lives depend on a delicate balance of
invisible gases. Too much blanket, or too little, and we’re in trouble.
Causal Analysis 273
This property of many gases to absorb strongly in the infrared but not in
the visible, and thereby to heat their surroundings, is called the “green-
house effect.” A florist’s greenhouse keeps its plenty inhabitants warm. The
phrase “greenhouse effect” is widely used and has an instructive ring to it,
reminding us that we live in a planetary-scale greenhouse and recalling the
admonition about living in glass houses and throwing stones. But, in fact,
florists’ greenhouses do not keep warm by the greenhouse effect; they work
mainly by inhibiting the movement of air inside, another matter altogether.
We need look only as far as the nearest planet to see an example of

an atmospheric greenhouse effect gone wild. Venus has in its atmosphere
an enormous quantity of carbon dioxide (roughly as much as is buried as
carbonates in all the rocks of the Earth’s crust). There is an atmosphere of
CO2 on Venus 90 times thicker than the atmosphere of the Earth and containing
some 200,000 times more CO2 than in our air. With water vapor and other minor
atmospheric constituents, this is enough to make a greenhouse effect that
keeps the surface of Venus around 470°C (900°F) - enough to melt tin or lead.
When humans burn wood or “fossil fuels” (coal, oil, natural gas, etc.), they
put carbon dioxide into the air. One carbon atom (C) combines with a molecule
of oxygen (O2) to produce CO2. The development of agriculture, the conversion
of dense forest to comparatively sparsely vegetated farms, has moved carbon
atoms from plants on the ground to carbon dioxide in the air. About half
of this new CO2 is removed by plants or by the layering down of carbonates
in the oceans. On human time-scales, these changes are irreversible: once
the CO2 is in the atmosphere, human technology is helpless to remove it. So
the overall amount of CO2 in the air has been growing at least since the
industrial revolution. If no other factors operate, and if enough CO2 is
put into the atmosphere, eventually the average surface temperature will
increase perceptibly.
There are other greenhouse gases that are increasingly abundant in the
Earth’s atmosphere — halocarbons, such as the freon used in refrigerator
cooling systems; or nitrous oxide (N2O), produced by automobile exhausts and
nitrogenous fertilizers; or methane (CH4), produced partly in the intestines
of cows and other ruminants.
But let’s for the moment concentrate on carbon dioxide: How long, at the
present rates of burning wood and fossil fuels, before the global climate
becomes significantly warmer? And what would the consequences be?
It is relatively simple to calculate the immediate warming from a given

increase in the CO2 abundance, and all competent calculations seem to be in
good agreement. More difficult to estimate are (1) the rate at which carbon
dioxide will continue to be put into the atmosphere (it depends on population
growth rates, economic styles, alternative energy sources and the like) and
(2) feedbacks – ways in which a slight warming might produce other, more
drastic, effects.
The recent increase in atmospheric CO2 is well documented. Over the last
century, this CO2 buildup should have resulted in a few tenths of a degree of
global warming, and there is some evidence that such a warming has occurred.
The National Academy of Sciences estimates that the present atmospheric

abundance of CO2 is likely to double by the year 2065, although experts at the
academy predict a one-in-20 chance that it will double before 2035 – when an
infant born today becomes 50 years old. Such a doubling would warm the air
near the surface of the Earth by 2°C or 3°C – maybe by as much as 4°C. These
are average temperature values; there would naturally be considerable local
variation. High latitudes would be warmed much more, although a baked Alaska
will be some time coming.
There would be some mitigating effects; for example, where plant growth is not
otherwise limited, more CO2 should aid photosynthesis and make more luxuriant
growth (of weeds as well as crops). If the present CO2 injection into the
atmosphere continued over a few centuries, the warming would be greater than
from all other causes over the last 100,000 years.
As the climate warms, glacial ice melts. Over the last 100 years, the level
of the world’s oceans has risen by 15 centimeters (6 inches). An increase of
this magnitude could produce major damage to ports all over the world and
induce fundamental changes in the patterns of land development. A serious
speculation is that greenhouse temperature increases of 3°C or 4°C could,
in addition, trigger the disintegration of the West Antarctic Ice Sheet,
with huge quantities of polar ice falling into the ocean. This would raise
sea level by some 6 meters (20 feet) over a period of centuries, with the
eventual inundation of all coastal cities on the planet.
There are many other possibilities that are poorly understood, including
the release of other greenhouse gases (for example, methane from peat bogs)
accelerated by the warming climate. The circulation of the oceans might be an
important aspect of the problem. The scientific community is attempting to make
an environmental-impact statement for the entire planet on the consequences
of continued burning of fossil fuels. Despite the uncertainties, a kind of
consensus is in: over the next century or more, with projected rates of
burning of coal, oil and gas, there is trouble ahead.
The problem is difficult for at least three different reasons:
1. We do not yet fully understand how severe the greenhouse consequences will
be.
2. Although the effects are not yet strikingly noticeable in everyday life, to
deal with the problem the present generation might have to make sacrifices
for the next.
3.
The problem cannot be solved except on an international scale: The
atmosphere is ignorant of national boundaries. South African carbon dioxide
Causal Analysis 275
warms Taiwan, and Soviet coal-burning practices affect productivity in

America. The largest coal resources in the world are found in the Soviet
Union, the United States and China, in that order. What incentives are
there for a nation such as China, with vast coal reserves and a commitment
to rapid economic development, to hold back on the burning of fossil fuels
because the result might, decades later, be a parched American sunbelt
or still more ghastly starvation in sub-Saharan Africa? Would countries
that might benefit from a warmer climate be as vigorous in restraining the
burning of fossil fuels as nations likely to suffer greatly?
Fortunately, we have a little time. A great deal can be done in decades. Some
argue that government subsidies lower the price of fossil fuels, inviting
waste; more efficient usage, besides its economic advantage, could greatly
ameliorate the CO2 greenhouse problem. Parts of the solution might involve
alternative energy sources, where appropriate: solar power, for example, or
safer nuclear fission reactors, which, whatever their other dangers, produce
no greenhouse gases of importance. Conceivably the long-awaited advent of
commercial nuclear fusion power might happen before the middle of the next
century.
However, any technological solution to the looming greenhouse problem must

be worldwide. It would not be sufficient for the United States or the Soviet
Union, say, to develop safe and commercially feasible fusion power plants:
That technology would have to be diffused worldwide, on terms of cost and
reliability that would be more attractive to developing nations than a
reliance on fossil fuel reserves or imports. A serious, very high-level look
at patterns of U.S. and world energy development in light of the greenhouse
problem seems overdue.
During the last few million years, human technology, spurred in part by
climatic change, has made our species a force to be reckoned with on a
planetary scale. We now find, to our astonishment, that we pose a danger to
ourselves. The present world order is, unfortunately, not designed to deal
with global-scale dangers. Nations tend to be concerned about themselves,
not about the planet; they tend to have short-term rather than long-term
objectives. In problems such as the increasing greenhouse effect, one nation
or region might benefit while another suffers. In other global environmental
issues, such as nuclear war, all nations lose. The problems are connected:
Constructive international efforts to understand and resolve one will benefit
the others.
Further study and better public understanding are needed, of course. But what
is essential is a global consciousness – a view that transcends our exclusive
identification with the generational and political groupings into which,
by accident, we have been born. The solution to these problems requires
a perspective that embraces the planet and the future. We are all in this
greenhouse together.
(Source - Carl Sagan, “The Warming of the World,” in Parade, 1985.)


1. Sagan begins the essay by presenting us with some historical information. Why does he
do so? How is the information relevant to the subject of the essay?
2. List the effects that you found as you read through the essay. What are the specific
effects of each cause identified by the author?
3. What kinds of support does Sagan use in the essay? Consider specifically the purpose
served by the example of Venus.
4. Do you agree with the author’s contention that technological solutions to the greenhouse
problem must be worldwide? Why or why not?
5. What are the solutions that Sagan proposes for the problems he identifies? Are these
solutions, in your opinion, practical in light of the tendencies by countries mentioned in
the last two paragraphs?
6. Discuss with your classmates ways in which the global consciousness mentioned by
Sagan might be brought about.
7. Discuss with your classmates some practical approaches that can be adopted in your
country to minimise the emissions that contribute directly to the depletion of the ozone
layer of the earth’s atmosphere.
Application: Cause and Effect Analysis

1. Some of the scientific terms are explained by Sagan but others are not. There are
also other terms that you might need to check. With the aid of a suitable dictionary,
encyclopaedia and other appropriate reference material from the library, check on the
following.
(a) infrared and visible light

(b) photosynthesis
(c) carbonates
(d) nuclear fission reactors
(e) halocarbons – freon
(f) National Academy of Sciences
Causal Analysis 277
2. Check the meanings of the following words and try using them in sentences of your
own.
• mitigating
• ameliorate
• inundation
• inhibiting
• constituents
• admonition
3. Based on the points that were raised in your discussion, and on any other information
you found in completing Question 1, write an article for a newspaper in which you
present the solutions you suggested and explain their necessity.
•
Writing Paragraphs and Papers Using Cause and Effect
When a writer develops a paragraph or a paper by cause and effect, one of the important
considerations must be which causes are significant and proximate to particular effects. The
decision as to which causes are to be included depends on an analysis of the ones that contribute
directly to a specific effect. The writer must also decide whether to include and discuss more
remote or less proximate causes and if so how many should be included. Refer once again to our
everyday example of the burning of the plantains. A decision as to whether mention should be
made of the accident that led to the telephone call to Carol which was indirectly related to the
neglect of the plantains would be based on notions of importance depending on the purpose
for writing.
The criterion of importance or significance of causes provides a guideline of sorts as to the

nature and number of details to be included. Too many causes that do not directly impinge on
the effects that are identified can sometimes result in unfocused writing. It is useful at the start
to decide on those causes and effects that are more and less important.
The development of a paragraph can begin with causes and proceed to discuss effects or, the
writer may first present effects and work backwards to the cause or causes of these effects. In
a longer paper, there is more scope for using both approaches. Consider the following excerpts
and determine the pattern of development used by the writers in each case.
I. Homelessness has three related causes: the profit structure of housing,
the distribution of income, and government policy. Briefly, housing is
supplied for profit, as a commodity. There is no profit in supplying housing
for those now homeless. The cost of provision has increased, and alternate
uses are more profitable. Changes in the economy have deprived many people
of the income with which to pay for housing. The government only acts
to provide housing for people unable to pay the market price when the
economy may need such people in the future or when those people threaten
the status quo. Neither situation prevails today….
(Source - Peter Marcuse, “Economic Factors Cause Homelessness,” in The Homeless: Opposing Viewpoints ed.
by Lisa Orr, Greenhaven Press Inc.)
II. When sunspots build to large numbers, the storms on the Sun are felt all
over Earth. Solar particles, plasma flows and high energy radiation strike
Earth’s first line of defense, the magnetosphere. Our home planet has a
magnetic field, just like a simple bar magnet. The magnetic poles are offset
from the rotational poles: the North magnetic pole, for example, lies near
the northwest tip of Greenland, almost 800 miles from the geographic North
Pole. If they were visible, the lines of magnetic force would appear to
emerge from Earth at these poles and form great arcs through space as they
stretch from one pole to the other. The “wind” of particles coming from
the Sun tends to compress this magnetosphere on the sunward side of Earth
and to stretch it out into a long tail on the side away from the Sun. When
charged particles coming from the Sun encounter Earth’s magnetic field
lines, they tend to follow the lines, sometimes all the way down to the
atmosphere around the magnetic poles. That is why Montreal, relatively
close to the North magnetic pole, has more trouble during solar storms
than do cities farther away.
The magnetosphere is a sort of magnetic umbrella around Earth, loaded

with electrified particles in two concentric, doughnut-shaped zones called
the Van Allen radiation belts. Although it deflects some incoming solar
material, the impact of the plasma flows and so-called solar wind compresses
the magnetosphere inward toward Earth, sets it shimmying and causes it
to dump lots of those particles downward into the atmosphere toward the
planet’s magnetic poles. The main effects: the upper atmosphere is heated
and expands, magnetic storms are triggered at the ground, and auroras, or
northern and southern lights, appear in the sky. Ultraviolet light and x
rays from solar flares also heat the atmosphere.
(Source - Stephen P. Maran, “When All Hell Breaks Loose on the Sun, Astronomers Scramble to
Understand,” Smithsonian, 1990.)
In the first excerpt the writer lists the significant causes of homelessness and then proceeds to
elaborate on each one, indicating some of the effects that are related to the causes mentioned.
In the two paragraphs of excerpt II the writer is concerned with describing the effects on Earth
of sunspots that occur on the surface of the Sun. The writer explains technical terms as they
are encountered and presents minor effects throughout both paragraphs – the main ones are
listed towards the end of paragraph 2. More careful reading is required in the case of II to find
the relationships between specific causes and effects and to determine a hierarchy of cause and
Causal Analysis 279
effect relationships. The overall effect, however, is a richly detailed description of the factors
that cause the auroras.
There are some guidelines that one can follow when planning a cause and effect paragraph or
paper. These are as follows:
1. Determine the difference between causes and effects that are important and those that
are not. This means making some inferences about proximate and remote causes and the
effects to which they are related.
2. Just as important as 1 is the necessity of distinguishing between causes and effects. In

the actual process of writing, it is easy to get confused between the relationships we set
up as cause and effect. It is useful if, at the planning stage, you trace the relationships
between causes and particular effects and determine those causes that are related to
specific effects.
3. In organising the paragraph try to distinguish between cause and effect by establishing
clear links between related elements. You may wish to work forward from cause to effect
or to present effects and trace backwards to the related causes.
4. As with all other kinds of writing, use techniques for establishing logical links between
the ideas in sentences; this is particularly important as you try to present the cause and
effect relationships within the paragraph.
The suggestions we have made elsewhere for generating ideas, drafting and revising also apply
and you will find them useful. In writing the thesis statement, try to capture the generalisation
that you have formed from looking at several detailed examples. The generalisation is likely
to be the result of inferences that you have drawn as you examined a specific situation or
phenomenon.
Application: Writing Papers Using Cause and Effect

In this application we present a student essay which was written under examination conditions.
The essay is about the effects of global warming. Use the set of guidelines above and the specific
list below to prepare a commentary for the student on the essay. Be sure to comment on the
things that work well in the essay, and also make suggestions for improvement.
The Effects of Global Warming
The industrial revolution has completely changed man’s lifestyle, seemingly

for the better. Unfortunately, this revolution has probably triggered off
an ecological apocalypse that may lead to the ultimate demise of the human
race - global warming.
The concentration of carbon dioxide has risen drastically since the beginning
of the industrial revolution. This gas, along with other traces of gases such
as methane, chlorofluorocarbons, troposphericozone and nitrous oxide trap
incoming infrared radiation (heat) from the sun in the atmosphere preventing
the heat from escaping back into space. This increased amount of radiation
in the atmosphere warms the land and sea, thus causing an increase in the
global temperature.
An increase in temperature would mean an increase in evaporation. In arid

regions where there is little moisture, an increase in temperature would lead
to prolonged and widespread drought of even greater severity than before. In
coastal regions, the increased rate of evaporation would cause more moisture
to accumulate in the atmosphere. Scientists say that this moisture would not
be released in light downpours but in torrential downpours, liable to cause
flooding in the low lying coastal regions. The increased temperatures and
moisture-laden air would be ideal for the formation of low-pressure weather
systems, such as hurricanes and typhoons whose reach is expected to extend
well into the present day temperate zone. The frequency and intensity of
these storms would also be expected to increase.
The majority of the world’s water is ‘locked away’ in the polar icecaps.
An increase in mean temperature by more than 50°C could cause the majority
of the ice to melt. The increase in temperature would also lead to oceanic
expansion since water, like most other substances, expands when heated.
These two factors could combine to cause an overall rise of 3 metres in sea
levels, resulting in the complete inundation of low lying areas and small
islands.
Global warming will suit some types of organisms while others are expected to
become extinct. Eco-systems most at risk are coral reefs, boreal forests, and
the tundra. The effects on animals would not be very great since they could
migrate and adapt. Plants, however, are immobile. Though seed dispersal
takes place, this will not facilitate the rate of migration necessary for
the survival of the species. Pests and disease carrying organisms are set
to prosper. When the tropical zone expands, malaria carrying mosquitoes
and encephalitis infected flies would no longer be restrained by unsuitable
living conditions.
Agriculture would be hard hit by global warming. Agricultural zones will

shift and weeds and disease carrying organisms will abound. The rise in sea
levels would flood outlying deltas destroying some of the world’s best arable
land.
Many methods have been proposed to combat global warming, some as ridiculous
as putting giant mirrors into orbit to reflect the heat. Some countries have
cut back on their greenhouse gas emissions per capita, but this is being
cancelled out by world population growth. The use of alternative sources
Causal Analysis 281
of energy, such as nuclear, wind, or solar power, has also been proposed.
However, these alternatives are beyond the means of most of the world’s
economies.
Global warming is a global problem, thus calling for a global solution. The
governments of the world should all work together in earnest to come to a
solution before it is too late.
•
Peer Editing Checklist
1. Remember the following points.
• Does the writer clearly distinguish between those things that are causes and those
that are effects?
• Is a hierarchy of elements established?
• Has the writer distinguished between important/significant elements and less
significant ones?
• Are the relationships between causes and effects clear to the reader?
• If the writer has included non-essential elements, what are they?
• Is the organisation of ideas in the essay logical?
• Are the sentences well-formed?
• Does the writer overuse any words?
• Is the diction appropriate?
• Note any errors of grammar, spelling and punctuation that you can find.
2. Write out a brief commentary for the student in which you discuss the strengths and
weaknesses of the essay and make suggestions for improvement.
3. Using causal analysis, write a short paper (of approximately 500 words) on one of the
following topics.
a) How computers have changed the world

b) Decline in common courtesy and good manners among the younger generation
c) Changing roles of males and females
d) Reasons for increases in physical exercise
ASSIGNMENT
1. Write a cause and effect essay of about 500 words on one of the following topics.
(a) Why has the West Indies cricket team lost most of their recent matches?
(b) Why does an economic recession in the developed world affect the economies of
Caribbean countries?
(c) There have been several reports in recent times about the erosion of beaches in the
Caribbean. What are the likely causes of this?
2. Exchange your paper with a classmate and use the peer editing checklist given above to
prepare a critical commentary on your classmate’s essay.
3. Revise your essay using those comments from your classmate which you agree with and
that you find useful.
4. Rewrite your essay paying attention to grammar, spelling, mechanics.

22
Writing inDefinition
Definition – An Overview of Types

Throughout this book you will find several examples of definition. In The Debt of Language, the
following definition is provided parenthetically to clarify the term titiri: “titiri, the diminutive fry
of a translucent grey colour...” In the article Twilight, a similar kind of definition is presented:
“Twilight is that period of waning light from the time of sunset to dark, often termed dusk.”
This example clarifies the term twilight, by providing an explanatory statement which includes
the use of another word or a synonym: “often termed dusk.” Synonyms are sometimes used
for the purpose of presenting an alternative term with which the reader may be more familiar.
Semanticists argue that there is no true synonymy (absolute synonyms), that is, there is no word
that has exactly the same meaning as another. However, there are very close approximations and
we can use one term with which one may be familiar to explain the meaning of another that is
not known. You are likely to encounter definition by synonym as a type of definition in several texts
on exposition.
When a writer uses a synonym to define, it is a way of saying “this – the thing I am writing
about – is like that, this other word which is familiar to you.” Definitions help us as readers to
understand the subject of the discourse more fully. When the subject or the term that is being
used is complex, it will take more than a synonym to help us grasp its meaning. In an essay
on global warming written under examination conditions a student defined global warming
as follows: “Global warming is the heating up of the earth resulting from excess short wave
radiation on the earth’s surface.” In his article on global warming it takes Carl Sagan several
paragraphs to explain the phenomenon of global warming and to define the greenhouse effect –
“This property of many gases to absorb strongly in the infrared but not the visible, and thereby
to heat their surroundings, is called ‘the greenhouse effect.’” In order to write this definition,
which itself contains technical terms, Sagan also had to establish the meaning of these terms in
preceding paragraphs (refer to the full article in Chapter 21). His is an example of an extended
definition.
An extended definition provides a fuller, more detailed explanation of the meaning of a term
than does a synonym or a parenthetical statement. Refer once again to Joan Didion’s essay
on self-respect, which is an example of an extended definition of that concept. Within that
extended definition we can also find examples of illustrative definition, that is, the use of specific
examples that clarify the term, and of negative definition also. The latter is a way of explaining what
something is by indicating what it is not. Read the following excerpts from the Didion essay and
try to determine the kinds of definition in them.
The dismal fact is that self-respect has nothing to do with the approval of
others – who are, after all, deceived easily enough; has nothing to do with
reputation, which, as Rhett Butler told Scarlett O’Hara, is something people
with courage can do without.
There is a common superstition that “self-respect” is a kind of charm against

snakes, something that keeps those who have it locked in some unblighted
Eden, out of strange beds, ambivalent conversations, and trouble in general.
It does not at all. It has nothing to do with the face of things, but concerns
instead a separate peace, a private reconciliation.
In these excerpts we get an example of definition by negation – saying what self-respect is not.
The second also points out a misconception that some people may have about the subject. Didion
goes on to give us examples of two characters from literature who, in her view, respectively
illustrate what it means to have and not have self-respect.
Although the careless, suicidal Julian English in Appointment in Samarra
and the careless, incurably dishonest Jordan Baker in The Great Gatsby seem
equally improbable candidates for self-respect, Jordan Baker had it, Julian
English did not.... Like Jordan Baker, people with self-respect have the
courage of their mistakes. They know the price of things.... In brief: people
with self-respect exhibit a certain toughness, a kind of moral nerve; they
display what was once called character....
Even as she provides these illustrations, Didion invokes another term character to clarify the
particular kind of self-respect to which she refers. In the paragraphs that follow in her essay
she expands on the meaning by giving further examples of different kinds of self-respect and
elaborating each one. Following one such illustration she writes: “That kind of self-respect is
discipline, a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed” (para. 9), and “To
have that sense of one’s intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have
everything.... “
Using a stipulative definition, Didion defines character as follows: “Nonetheless, character – the
willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect
springs.” Because character may mean different things to different people and may be defined in
different ways, Didion indicates the precise sense in which she uses the word. Stipulative definition,
then, presents the sense in which a writer uses a word in a particular context.
When one uses stipulative definition, it limits the scope of the discussion of the term to exactly
what has been stipulated. In the case of the example just cited, we expect some discussion of
character in terms of “willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life” and a link between
the concepts self-respect and character in the specific kind of relationship that has been posited by
the writer. Consider another example of stipulative definition:
Definition 285
So the word wild here is not used in its modern pejorative sense, meaning
out of control, but in its original sense, which means to live a natural
life, one in which the criatura, creature, has innate integrity and healthy
boundaries.
(Source - Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D., Women Who Run with the Wolves. New York: Ballantine
Books, 1992.)
In this example, Estes establishes one particular sense in which she will use the word wild in her
book.
From the examples we have cited thus far, it is clear that a writer will select the type of definition
that is appropriate to the nature of the discourse. It is also clear that definitions can vary in
length, from one word to an entire essay. Some concepts, like self-respect for example, are too
complex to be defined in a phrase or a sentence. As Didion’s essay illustrates, it is necessary
to provide a full examination of what the term implies, in some instances to examine how its
meaning has changed over time, and to establish the sense or senses in which we understand it
in the particular context of the discourse in which it occurs. It is not possible to achieve this in
a brief definition.
One other observation that can be made from the examples in this section is that none of the
writers repeats the word being defined in the defining statement. Consider an example from a
student’s essay on the same topic global warming. “Global warming is the warming of the earth
caused by an accumulation of gases which are trapped in the earth’s atmosphere.” The writer
identifies a cause of global warming, but in effect says that global warming is the warming of the
earth. This is a circular definition which is not informative. Compare it with the other examples
at the beginning of this chapter.
In addition to the types of definition we have discussed there are formal definitions like those found
in dictionaries and technical/scientific encyclopaedia. Here is an example from the recently
published Dictionary of Caribbean English Usage.
manchineel (man.chi.neal) [man_ini.l ~ man_ini.l] n (Car A) An evergreen
tree which can exceed 30 feet in height, usually found near the sea or swampy
ground; its fissured bark, shiny green leaves and small apple-like fruit all
contain a highly poisonous, skin-blistering latex; its wood is used to a
limited extent in furniture making; Hippomane mancinella (Euphorbiaceae)
[OED < Fr mancenille a. Sp, Manzanilla, dim. of manzana ‘apple’ in ref to
its fruit]
(Source - R. Allsopp, ed., Dictionary of Caribbean English Usage. Oxford University Press,
1996.)
In the formal definition there is the term to be defined and the defining statement. In the
dictionary entries we also get standard information such as the phonetic representation of the
word that indicates its pronunciation and in the case of flora and fauna we are usually given the
biological name. The defining statement gives an indication of the class of things to which the
concept belongs, its particular characteristics, its distinguishing features which point out how
it differs from others in the same class. In ordinary, informal definitions we are not likely to
provide the genus (the class or family) of the thing defined, nor its biological (or botanical) Latin
name.
In distinguishing the thing that is defined from others in the same class, some classification (see
the following chapter) is involved as in the case of the example above which locates manchineel as
a member of the family of evergreens and then presents its specific characteristics that will help
us to identify the manchineel as a particular kind of evergreen (poisonous, found near the beach
or swampy ground, having a small apple-like fruit and so on).
Application: Definition
Some concepts, words or terms like self-respect require extended definitions so that their various
complexities can be presented. Sometimes, however, we may be asked to present a brief definition
of a complex term. In such instances we must be careful not to make the definition too narrow
– that is, providing information that is too sketchy – or too broad – that is, too general to allow
us to pin down the precise characteristics of the term or concept. The list in this application
contains examples of such terms.
a. Try to define each one briefly in one sentence, being sure to include the class of things
to which it belongs and to indicate defining characteristics. Avoid circularity in your
definition.
b. Read over your definitions and for each one, jot down those implications that you believe
are essential to an understanding of the concept but which you were unable to capture
in your brief definition.
(i) democracy
(ii) socialism
(iii) Christianity
(iv) love
(v) religion
•
Definition 287
Strategies for Writing Definitions

When we communicate, we are concerned about conveying our thoughts and ideas clearly to
those who listen to us or read our writing. In order to do so, we must be clear in our minds about
what words mean so that we can use them to convey the meanings that we intend. Definition
allows us to make clear to our listeners and readers precisely what we mean. While a dictionary
provides knowledge about a term or concept and it presents different senses of a word, we may
need to go beyond the dictionary and provide a stipulative definition that indicates the special
sense in which we use a word and to circumscribe our discussion.
If you were making a note of some of the key points that we made in the discussion of definition
in the first part of this chapter, you would probably have listed several important characteristics
that one should observe in writing a good definition. In the rest of this chapter we will simply
provide a list of suggestions for using definitions in your writing. We will refer to examples,
some of which we may have used already and some that are new, in order to illustrate.
1. Select the best type of definition for your essay. Based on your subject matter and your purpose,
a word or phrase may be sufficient to clarify a term or concept. If you are defining a
complex concept, you may need to use an extended definition, which may extend over
one or two paragraphs or an entire essay. Be clear about your purpose for writing and
select the appropriate definitions for your essay.
2. Clarify all terms or concepts in your essay that may be unfamiliar to your audience. A parenthetical
statement may suffice in some instances as in the following example from Debt of
Language: “When bathing, you may have your toes gently nipped by the ciriques, a yellow
and black sea crab....” or a word that gives an approximate meaning: “An important stage
in the composing process is drafting or writing out your ideas....”
3. Avoid lengthy explicit statements that signal the definition. We have found several examples
in which students overdo the signalling of a definition and the definition of terms.
For example in an essay with the topic The Effects of Global Warming a student writes as
follows:
Global warming is a threat to man’s existence on this planet. However,
before I discuss the dangers of global warming I will first define the
terms; ‘effects’ is the result or results of one thing causing a reaction
or reactions on another; ‘global’ refers to the universe and ‘warming’ is
the process of heating the earth.
This approach results in stilted prose; in this case the student need not have defined
“effects” because it is not likely to be problematic for the reader. The key term in the
topic is global warming which could have been defined as a single term rather than as
separate words. Compare this example with others on the same topic that we have
presented in this chapter. In the following example note how the writer introduces the
definition effortlessly:
These days, every day is a field day for entomologists in Trinidad and
Tobago with the sudden appearance of thousands of white-tailed page moths
(Urbana leilus), which are believed to be migrating across the Gulf of
Paria from the neighboring republic of Venezuela. The gorgeous black
insects, decorated with bars of iridescent green and trailing white
tails, have been utterly ubiquitous in Trinidad in recent weeks.
4. If you are writing a more formal definition, relate the concept or term to others that are like it, and show
how it differs from others in the same group or class. As you do so, take care to present those
particular characteristics or features that distinguish it from other concepts in the group
or class of which it is a member.
In an extended definition there are strategies that you can use to present a full discussion
of the concept. The following are some examples.
5. Use information from the dictionary to present the etymology of the word.
6. Discuss the senses in which the term has been used over time and include discussion of the sense or senses
in which you are using the term; make use of stipulative definitions for this purpose.
7. Compare and contrast the term with others that are similar so as to make its meaning clear.
8. Use examples that illustrate the meaning of the term or concept. Refer to Didion’s essay in which
there are several examples of illustrations that serve this purpose.
9. Classify where necessary to show how the term you are defining relates to others in the same
category or class to which it belongs.
10. Do not use circular definitions; go over your definition(s) carefully to ensure that you have
not used the word you are defining in the defining statement.
ASSIGNMENT
1. Reread the essay by Joan Didion and write down all the examples of definition that you
can find. Compare your list with that of a classmate. Note any differences and justify
your selections on the strength of what you understand definition to be.
Definition 289
2. Based on the information presented in the first part of this chapter, prepare a set of
guided questions that you can use for checking and revising your definitions (short
and extended). Include questions for essays that are extended definitions. Refer to the
samples of question guides that we have included elsewhere in this text.
3. Select one of the terms in the Application box in this chapter, and using the notes
that you made in that application, plan and draft an essay in which you use extended
definition to explain the concept that you have chosen; be sure to discuss all the relevant
implications of the concept.
4. Revise the first draft of your essay using the question guides that you have prepared.
23
Classification
Writing in English Writ- ing in and
English Writing in English Division
What are Classification and Division?
In most textbooks on rhetoric you are likely to find classification discussed as an expository
strategy. These two strategies are usually discussed together because division is central to
classification yet they differ in an important way and must be distinguished. Division is breaking
an entity or unit or subject into smaller parts without establishing any specific criteria or
organising principle for so doing. We use division when we analyse and divide a subject into
its component parts so that we can better understand it and present it to our audience. The
discussion of all the strategies of exposition in this section either explicitly or implicitly refers
to division as an underlying principle of analysis, and as an important initial step in planning an
essay. Classification is division on the basis of a principle or set of characteristics by which we
can distinguish one subdivided component or category from another. Classification imposes a
kind of order or organisation on the divisions; it allows us to group entities that are similar in
specified ways thus distinguishing them from those entities that are different. In this way we are
able to create categories that consist of elements that are similar to those within the category
but different in specified ways from elements in other categories within the same classification
system.
Characteristics of Classification and Division

When we create categories we must ensure that they are mutually exclusive; in order to accomplish
this we need to classify on the basis of criteria that are clear and consistent. If you give it some
thought, you will realise that the disciplines are characterised by the ways in which they classify
the body of knowledge that forms the core of the discipline, and all disciplines require students
to be able to classify information in different ways and for different purposes. Classification is a
means by which we can enhance our understanding of complex concepts, and when we use it to
analyse, it facilitates our acquisition of new knowledge.
The main categories that are created when we classify can be further divided into subcategories
that are themselves created according to clear and consistent criteria or characteristics. The
subcategories are usually discrete and there should be no overlapping between them. Writers
use classification in conjunction with other rhetorical strategies to develop paragraphs and
sometimes entire essays are developed predominantly by means of this strategy. Such is the case
in the following example.
Focus for reading: Read the article carefully and pay particular attention to the classification
system that is used by the writer.
Classification and Division 291
Three Kinds of Fatigue
Fatigue is one of the more common complaints brought to doctors, friends, and
relatives. You’d think in this era of labor-saving devices and convenient
transportation that few people would have reason to be so tired. But probably
more people complain of fatigue today than in the days when hay was baled by
hand and laundry scrubbed on a washboard. Witness these typical complaints:
“It doesn’t seem to matter how long I sleep – I’m more tired when I wake up
than when I went to bed.”
“Some of my friends come home from work and jog for several miles or swim
laps. I don’t know how they do it. I’m completely exhausted at the end of a
day at the office.”
“I thought I was weary because of the holidays, but now that they’re over,
I’m even worse. I can barely get through the week, and on the weekend I don’t
even have the strength to get dressed. I wonder if I’m anaemic or something.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, but I’ve been so collapsed that I
haven’t made a proper meal for the family in weeks. We’ve been living on TV
dinners and packaged mixes. I was finally forced to do a laundry because the
kids ran out of underwear.”
The causes of modern-day fatigue are diverse and only rarely related to
excessive physical exertion. The relatively few people who do heavy labor all
day long almost never complain about being tired, perhaps because they expect
to be. Today, physicians report, tiredness is more likely a consequence of
under-exertion than of wearing yourself down with over-activity. In fact,
increased physical activity is often prescribed as a cure for sagging energy.
There are three main categories of fatigue:
Physical. This is the well-known result of overworking your muscles to the

point where metabolic waste products – carbon dioxide and lactic acid –
accumulate in your blood and sap your strength. Your muscles can’t continue
to work efficiently in a bath of these chemicals. Physical fatigue is usually
a pleasant tiredness, such as that which you might experience after playing a
hard set of tennis, chopping wood, or climbing a mountain. The cure is simple
and fast: You rest, giving your body a chance to get rid of accumulated
wastes and restore muscle fuel.
Pathological. Here fatigue is a warning sign or consequence of some underlying

physical disorder, perhaps the common cold or flu or something more serious
like diabetes or cancer. Usually other symptoms besides fatigue are present
that suggest the true cause.
Even after an illness has passed, you’re likely to feel dragged out for a
week or more. Take your fatigue as a signal to go slow while your body has
a chance to recover fully even if all you had was a cold. Pushing yourself
to resume full activity too soon could precipitate a relapse and almost
certainly will prolong your period of fatigue.
Even though illness is not a frequent cause of prolonged fatigue, it’s very
important that it not be overlooked. Therefore, anyone who feels drained of
energy for weeks on end should have a thorough physical checkup. But even if
nothing shows up as a result of the various medical tests, that doesn’t mean
there’s nothing wrong with you. Unfortunately too often a medical work-up
ends with a battery of negative test results, the patient is dismissed, and
the true cause of serious fatigue goes undetected. As Dr. John Bulette, a
psychiatrist at the Medical College of Pennsylvania Hospital in Philadelphia,
tells it, this is what happened to a Pennsylvania woman who had lost nearly
fifty pounds and was “almost dead – so tired she could hardly lift her head
up.” The doctors who first examined the woman were sure she had cancer. But
no matter how hard they looked, they could find no sign of malignancy or of
any other disease that could account for the wasting away. Finally, she was
brought to the college hospital, where doctors noted that she was severely
depressed.
They questioned her about her life and discovered that her troubles had begun
two years earlier, after her husband died. Once treated for depression, the
woman quickly perked up, gained ten pounds in just a few weeks, then returned
home to continue her recovery with the aid of psychotherapy.
Psychological. Emotional problems and conflicts, especially depression and

anxiety, are by far the most common causes of prolonged fatigue. Fatigue may
represent a defense mechanism that prevents you from having to face the true
cause of your depression, such as the fact that you hate your job. It is also
your body’s safety valve for expressing repressed emotional conflicts, such
as feeling trapped in an ungratifying role or an unhappy marriage. When such
feelings are not expressed openly, they often come out as physical symptoms,
with fatigue as one of the most common manifestations. “Many people who are
extremely fatigued don’t even know they’re depressed,” Dr. Bulette says.
“They’re so busy distracting themselves or just worrying about being tired
that they don’t recognize their depression.”
One of these situations is so common it’s been given a name – tired housewife
syndrome. The victims are commonly young mothers who day in and day out face
the predictable tedium of caring for a home and small children, fixing meals,
dealing with repairmen, and generally having no one interesting to talk to
and nothing enjoyable to look forward to at the end of their boring and
unrewarding day. The tired housewife may be inwardly resentful, envious of
her husband’s job, and guilty about her feelings. But rather than face them
head-on, she becomes extremely fatigued. Today, with nearly half the mothers
of young children working outside the home, the tired housewife syndrome
has taken on a new twist: that of conflicting roles and responsibilities and
guilt over leaving the children, often with an overlay of genuine physical
exhaustion from trying to be all things to all people.
Emotionally induced fatigue may be compounded by sleep disturbance that

results from the underlying psychological conflict. A person may develop
insomnia or may sleep the requisite number of hours but fitfully, tossing and
turning all night, having disturbing dreams, and awakening, as one woman put
it, feeling as if she “had been run over by a truck.”
Understanding the underlying emotional problem is the crucial first step toward
curing psychological fatigue and by itself often results in considerable
lessening of the tiredness. Professional psychological help or career or
marriage counseling may be needed.
There is a great deal you can do on your own to deal with both severe
prolonged fatigue and those periodic washed-out feelings. Vitamins and
tranquilizers are almost never the right answer, sleeping pills and alcohol
are counterproductive, and caffeine is at best a temporary solution that can
backfire with abuse and cause life-disrupting symptoms of anxiety. Instead,
you might try:
Diet. If you eat a skimpy breakfast or none at all, you’re likely to

experience midmorning fatigue, the result of a drop in blood sugar, which
your body and brain depend on for energy. For peak energy in the morning,
be sure to eat a proper breakfast, low in sugar and fairly high in protein,
which will provide a steady supply of blood sugar throughout the morning.
Coffee and a doughnut are almost worse than nothing, providing a brief boost
and then letting you down with a thud.
The same goes for the rest of the day: frequent snacking on sweets is a false
pick-me up that soon leaves you lower than you were to begin with. Stick
to regular, satisfying, well-balanced meals that help you maintain a trim
figure. Extra weight is tiring both physically and psychologically. Getting
your weight down to normal can go a long way toward revitalizing you.
Exercise. Contrary to what you may think, exercise enhances, rather than
saps, energy. Regular conditioning exercises, such as jogging, cycling,
or swimming, help you to resist fatigue by increasing your body’s ability
to handle more of a work load. You get tired less quickly because your
capability is greater.
Exercise also has a well-recognized tranquilizing effect, which helps you

work in a more relaxed fashion and be less dragged down by the tensions of
your day. At the end of a day exercise can relieve accumulated tensions, give
you more energy in the evening, and help you sleep more restfully.
Sleep. If you know you’re tired because you haven’t been getting enough
sleep, the solution is simple: get to bed earlier. There’s no right amount
of sleep for everyone, and generally sleep requirements decline with age.
Find the amount that suits you best, and aim for it. Insomnia and other
sleep disorders should not be treated with sleeping pills, alcohol, or
tranquilizers, which can actually make the problem worse.
Know yourself. Try to schedule your most taxing jobs for the time of day when
you’re at your peak. Some are “morning people” who tire by mid-afternoon;
others do their best work in the evening. Don’t overextend yourself, trying to
climb the ladder of success at a record pace or to meet everyone’s demands or
expectations. Decide what you want to do and what you can handle comfortably,
and learn to say no to additional requests. Recognize your energy cycles and
plan accordingly. Many women have a low point pre-menstrually, during which
time extra sleep may be needed and demanding activities are particularly
exhausting.
Take breaks. No matter how interesting or demanding your work, you’ll be able
to do it with more vigor if now and again you stop, stretch, and change the
scenery. Instead of coffee and a sweet roll on your break, try meditation,
yoga, calisthenics, or a brisk walk. Even running up and down the staircase
can provide refreshment from a sedentary job. If your job is physically
demanding, relax in a quiet place for a while. The do-something-different rule
also applies to vacation; “getting away from it all” for a week or two or
longer can be highly revitalizing, helping you to put things in perspective
and enabling you to take your job more in stride upon your return.
(Source - Jane Brody, “Three Kinds of Fatigue,” The New York Times. January 23, 1980.)

1. Using either a semantic map or a formal outline, chart the main divisions used by
the writer. What is the system of classification used in the essay? What are the main
categories? Are there subcategories?
2. Examine the information that you have included in each category. Is there any overlapping
between categories?
3. Can you determine a particular logic for the order in which the writer presents the
categories? What is it?
4. The writer presents five solutions to the problem of fatigue. Read the information
she presents in each one, then devise a different classification system into which you
categorise the information presented as solutions. In devising your system take special
note of the following points.
• Ensure that the categories and subcategories are mutually exclusive.

• If you create subcategories, you must have at least two (division presupposes
breaking up into two parts at least).
• Ensure that all the items of information can fit into the categories you have devised.
If any are left out, it means that you have not set up the best or most suitable
categories.
• Compare and discuss your system with a classmate. Did you come up with similar
categories? What are the differences – if any? Evaluate your partner’s system and
ensure that the categories are mutually exclusive and the divisions based on a logical
and consistent principle.
5. Broaden your vocabulary: check the meanings of the following words and practice using
them.
pathological diabetes precipitate relapse malignancy
depressed repressed ungratifying syndrome tedium
insomnia revitalize
Classification and Division as a Strategy in Writing

Earlier in this section we mentioned that we use division in most kinds of analysis. When we
isolate the component parts of a subject or when we examine the parts of an essay to determine
how they contribute to the whole, we use division. Division is therefore an essential tool that
we can use for general learning and particularly for reading and writing. Classification serves
these purposes also. Through classification we can plan an entire essay and impose order on the
information we want to present in it.
We can set up a two-part classification system, a binary one that simply categorises elements
on the basis of those with specified characteristics and those that lack these characteristics. Let
us suppose, for instance, that we wanted to classify the different types of telephones. A simple
binary system would look like the following:
Telephones
Rotary Non-rotary
The two categories can then be further subdivided, the category rotary to indicate the different
types or models of rotary dial telephones and non-rotary to include every other type (example,
pushbutton, crank and so on). This simple binary system may be useful if you wanted to focus
on differences in dialling systems but it might not be as useful if you wanted to indicate the
historical development of telephones. The purpose for writing, then, becomes an important
determiner of the classification system we adopt. Let us suppose that you wanted to present
a historical perspective; one possible set of super-ordinate categories might be desk, wall and
transport models. In each of these categories you would need to include all the models exemplified
in each category from the earliest to the most recent. The following graphic representation is a
partial development of one possible system.
Telephones
I I
desk wall transport
I
I
pushbutton rotary
I
I I
crank card
Application: Classification
1. Conduct some research and find out the different types of horror movies that have
been made, and set up a classification system that can serve as the basis for an essay
on the subject. Remember to have a clear idea of the principle you are using to
categorise the horror movies. Ensure that there is no overlapping between categories.
Include all the elements that are relevant to the main category.
2. Through group brainstorming, identify a possible principle of division and set up a

classification system for one of the following topics:
a) Pop music b) Extreme sports c) Web sites d) Advertising appeals
Determine what your thesis might be if you were writing an essay on the topic.
•
When you set up a classification system as you have done for the foregoing application, you are
able to perceive a framework or structure for the essay. If the categories are well-organised, you
will be well on your way with the planning, that is, to the extent that you have established the
main divisions and subdivisions and the characteristics that define them. If you are writing in the
physical and social sciences, you will find that you have need for the strategy of classification.
Some subjects (topics) seem to suggest natural lines of division while others require more careful
analysis and classification. The following set of guided questions will help you check and revise
your essays in which you use classification.
Guided Questions for Self-edit of Classification Essays

• Is there a discernible principle or basis for the classification I have used?
• Are the categories I have created mutually exclusive?
• Do all the items fit into a specific category?
• Have I used clearly distinct characteristics to differentiate between one category and the
next?
• Are all the subcategories relevant to the main categories and are all categories relevant to
the subject?
• Have I used illustrations and examples to develop each category?
• Do I use appropriate cohesive ties between clauses and transitional links between
paragraphs to emphasise the distinctions between categories and subcategories?
ASSIGNMENT
1. Write a classification essay on one of the following topics.
(a) Pop music

(b) Video games
(c) Web sites
(d) Cell phones
(e) I-Pods
(f) Advertising appeals
2. Use the guided questions above to check your classification and other elements of the
essay.
3. Exchange your paper with a classmate and use the guided questions to prepare a critical
commentary on your classmate’s essay.
4. Revise your essay using those comments made by your classmate that you agree with.
5. Rewrite your essay and then proofread it checking for grammar, spelling and mechanics.
24
Comparison
Writing in English Writ- ing in andWriting
English Writing in English Contrast
Characteristics of Comparison and Contrast
As we go about our everyday routines, we often use comparison and contrast. When we select
the clothes we should wear at the beginning of a given day and we vacillate between this shirt
or that and select the first over the second because the colour goes better with this particular
skirt or pair of trousers than it does with that, we are using comparison and contrast. When
we go shopping and select fruit and vegetables and choose this particular watermelon over that
because it is heavier and likely to be sweeter and juicier, we are using comparison and contrast.
As we compare and contrast in this way, we are taking note of observable characteristics, drawing
inferences about them and making judgments and decisions on the strength of these inferences.
Formal comparison and contrast is much the same thing. We discuss one item by assessing it in
terms of another item or we assess both items by considering them in relation to some general
standards. For example, when we are in the process of choosing a new car or other commodity,
we may assess two models in relation to some general standards, features or principles that we
consider ideal or desirable. We may choose one car over the other because after assessing each
in terms of the relevant features, we decide that one has more of the desirable features than the
other and it is comparable in price or less expensive than the other.
In making comparisons such as these, we proceed in a more or less systematic manner until
we exhaust the possibilities and then make a decision or judgement. Let us illustrate the use of
comparison and contrast in writing by examining the following excerpt from an essay entitled
Active and Passive Euthanasia by James Rachels.
Focus for reading: try to determine the system that Rachels uses in setting up the comparison.
What are the methods used? Trace the development and jot down the points compared.
One reason why so many people think that there is an important moral
difference between active and passive euthanasia is that they think killing
someone is morally worse than letting someone die. But is it? Is killing, in
itself, worse than letting die? To investigate this issue, two cases may be
considered that are exactly alike except that one involves killing whereas
the other involves letting someone die. Then, it can be asked whether this
difference makes any difference to the moral assessments. It is important that
the cases be exactly alike, except for this one difference, since otherwise
one cannot be confident that it is this difference and not some other that
accounts for any variation in the assessments of the two cases. So, let us
consider this pair of cases.
Comparison and Contrast 299
In the first, Smith stands to gain a large inheritance if anything should

happen to his six-year-old cousin. One evening while the child is taking his
bath, Smith sneaks into the bathroom and drowns the child, and then arranges
things so that it will look like an accident.
In the second, Jones also stands to gain if anything should happen to his
six-year-old cousin. Like Smith, Jones sneaks in planning to drown the child
in his bath. However, just as he enters the bathroom Jones sees the child
slip and hit his head, and fall face down in the water. Jones is delighted;
he stands by, ready to push the child’s head back under if it is necessary,
but it is not necessary. With only a little thrashing about, the child drowns
all by himself, “accidentally,” as Jones watches and does nothing.
Now Smith killed the child, whereas Jones “merely” let the child die. That
is the only difference between them. Did either man behave better, from a
moral point of view? If the difference between killing and letting die were
in itself a morally important matter, one should say that Jones’s behavior
was less reprehensible than Smith’s. But does one really want to say that?
I think not. In the first place, both men acted from the same motive,
personal gain, and both had exactly the same end in view when they acted.
It may be inferred from Smith’s conduct that he is a bad man, although that
judgement may be withdrawn or modified if certain further facts are learned
about him – for example, that he is mentally deranged. But would not the
very same thing be inferred about Jones from his conduct? And would not the
same further considerations also be relevant to any modification of this
judgement? Moreover, suppose Jones pleaded, in his own defense, “After all,
I didn’t do anything except just stand there and watch the child drown. I
didn’t kill him; I only let him die.” Again, if letting die were in itself
less bad than killing, this defense should have at least some weight. But it
does not. Such a “defense” can only be regarded as a grotesque perversion of
moral reasoning. Morally speaking, it is no defense at all.
Now, it may be pointed out, quite properly, that the cases of euthanasia
with which doctors are concerned are not like this at all. They do not
involve personal gain or the destruction of normal healthy children. Doctors
are concerned only with cases in which the patient’s life is of no further
use to him, or in which the patient’s life has become or will soon become
a terrible burden. However, the point is the same in these cases: the bare
difference between killing and letting die does not, in itself, make a moral
difference. If a doctor lets a patient die, for humane reasons, he is in the
same moral position as if he had given the patient a lethal injection for
humane reasons. If his decision was wrong – if, for example, the patient’s
illness was in fact curable – the decision would be equally regrettable no
matter which method was used to carry it out. And if the doctor’s decision
was the right one, the method used is not in itself important.
The AMA policy statement isolates the crucial issue very well; the crucial
issue is the “intentional termination of the life of one human being by
another.” But after identifying this issue, and forbidding “mercy killing,”
the statement goes on to deny that the cessation of treatment is the
intentional termination of a life. This is where the mistake comes in, for
what is the cessation of treatment, in these circumstances, if it is not
“the intentional termination of the life of one human being by another?” Of
course it is exactly that, and if it were not, there would be no point to it.
Many people will find this judgement hard to accept. One reason, I think,
is that it is very easy to conflate the question of whether killing is, in
itself, worse than letting die, with the very different question of whether
most actual cases of killing are more reprehensible than most actual cases
of letting die. Most actual cases of killing are clearly terrible (think,
for example, of all the murders reported in the newspapers), and one hears
of such cases every day. On the other hand, one hardly ever hears of a case
of letting die, except for the actions of doctors who are motivated by
humanitarian reasons. So one learns to think of killing in a much worse light
than of letting die. But this does not mean that there is something about
killing that makes it, in itself, worse than letting die, for it is not the
bare difference between killing and letting die that makes the difference in
these cases. Rather, the other factors – the murderer’s motive of personal
gain, for example, contrasted with the doctor’s humanitarian motivation –
account for different reactions to the different cases….
(Source - James Rachels, “Active and Passive Euthanasia,” New England Journal of
Medicine, 292, 1975.)

1. In your opinion, does the writer present an objective and systematic comparison of the
two sides of the issue? Why or why not?
2. The writer presents illustrations to explain the difference between “killing” and “letting
die” and these involve comparisons of motives. How effective are the illustrations and
the writer’s discussion of them in helping the reader weigh one position over the other?
3. Does the comparison presented allow you to make a judgement? Is the comparison
systematic?
4. Write a response to the doctor in which you draw your own comparisons to either
support his view or to present a different viewpoint.
Writing Essays Using Comparison and Contrast

There are different methods one can use in writing comparison and contrast. Like the writer of
the excerpt, one can focus on one point of difference in two otherwise similar situations, events
or objects and compare on that basis. Another method of developing a paragraph or essay using
comparison and contrast is to present the points for one entity and systematically compare
each one with the corresponding point of the other. This format can help both the writer
and the reader to focus on each point of similarity or difference in a stepwise or progressive
manner. Yet another method of comparing and contrasting is to present all the relevant items
that are to be compared for one entity, pointing out their characteristics and then presenting the
series of corresponding points for the other entity until all the points have been systematically
discussed. A third method of organising the comparison and contrast is to present all the points
of similarity between the two entities exhaustively and then proceed to compare the differences.
This method of organisation would require the reader to carefully link the two sections to avoid
the likelihood of a dichotomy between the two parts that makes the essay read like two separate
discussions.
In one of our rhetoric classes in which we used the text Practical Guide to Writing (5th edition)
by Barnet & Stubbs (Little Brown), the authors set a comparison and contrast task in which
students were required to compare a sketch and water colour done by Goya. We allowed our
students to do this assignment and the following is a student example.
Analysis (Goya’s El Amor y la muerte)
The two pictures being compared share some similarities; they are both works
of Francisco Goya and they both depict a similar scene – a woman holding her
lover who was fatally wounded in a duel he fought for her. Also, both bear
the same title “El amor y la muerte” but it is here that the similarities
end.
Firstly, the water colour is a more detailed picture, a closer approximation

to an actual photograph. In this drawing the figures are more clearly defined
and closer attention has been paid to detail than in the chalk sketch. The
lady is wearing a full length black and white dress, her boots are clearly
visible as are those of the man, and there is a full length wall against
which the lady has braced the obviously heavy body of her lover.
The chalk drawing, on the other hand, seems a less refined version of the
water colour. The figures are blurred and their clothes and shoes are less
clearly defined. However, this picture can better lay claim to the title of
“El amor y la muerte” than the water colour, since the faces of the couple
depicted here register deeper anguish and pain than the remote expressions on
the faces of the couple in the water colour. The water colour version lacks
intensity and passion both of which are clearly visible in the chalk version.
There is no mistaking the expression of pain on the young lady’s face and the
prone posture of a man in the throes of an agonizing death, evident in the
chalk drawing. Here the lady appears to share her lover’s pain and suffering,
and she clutches him tightly as though refusing to relinquish him to the arms
of death. Her grief is obviously profound and there is no attempt to mask it.
In the water colour, on the other hand, the lady seems to have a tight rein
on her emotions. Though she too may be grief-stricken, she is more dignified
and composed in her suffering. She seems to have submitted to the inevitable
and to be simply praying for her loved one.
Finally, in the water colour, the couple must share the spotlight with the
long, high wall in the background, but in the chalk sketch where the wall is
broken, lower and much shorter, the central focus is on the couple and their
tormented expressions.
Carlene M. 1st year
Application: Comparison and Contrast

1. Imagine that you are a peer editor of Carlene’s essay. Write a commentary of the essay
in which you assess its merits in using the strategy of comparison and contrast.
2. Use the following question guides to begin; add your own questions to the list. Make
comments also on grammar, spelling and punctuation, and suggest ways in which
Carlene might improve the draft.
• Does the writer present a systematic comparison of the characteristics evident in

the photographs?
• Is the order of presentation logical?
• Does the writer compare similarities and differences?
• Does the writer draw interesting inferences and conclusions from the comparisons
made?
• Is the method of organisation selected by the writer consistent?
• Does the writer present similar items for comparison and contrast?
• Has the writer presented any trivial points that clutter the essay? What are they if
any?
• Has the writer selected all the most salient points for comparison? What, if anything
has been left out?
• Comment specifically on (i) paragraph and sentence structure, (ii) grammar, (iii)
spelling and punctuation.
•
ASSIGNMENTS
1. Write a comparison and contrast essay on one of the following topics:
(a) Upper secondary education to university education.
(b) Text messaging to face-to-face communication.
(c) Calypso to reggae
2. Set your essay aside for a while, then return to it and use the various checklists and
guidelines for comparison and contrast to revise your essay.
3. Rewrite the essay and proofread it paying attention to grammar, spelling, and mechanics.

Barnett & Stubbs, Practical Guide to Writing, Boston: Little Brown, 1986.
Kennedy, X.J., Dorothy M. Kennedy, Marcia F. Muth, and Sylvia A. Halladay. The Bedford Guide for College
Writers, Boston: St. Martin’s Press, 2005.
Section 6
Argument Analysis
Chapter 25: What Is Argument?
• The Basic Elements of an Argument
• Ways in Which We Reason
Chapter 26: Fallacies of Argument

• Material Fallacies
• Unfair Emotional Appeals
Chapter 27: Analysing Argument

• The Characteristics of a Critical Analysis
• Critically Reading an Argument
• Writing a Critical Analysis of an Argument.
Chapter 28: Writing an Argumentative Essay

• Applying Process Strategies to Writing an Argument

In this section we explain the basic elements of an argument and the way in which we reason.
Chapter 26 treats the various fallacies of argument as well as the emotional appeals that a writer
can use to persuade and to convince. Chapter 27 focuses on the critical reading of arguments
and writing an analysis of an argument as well as a critique of an analysis of an argument. The
final chapter deals with writing an argumentative essay. Each chapter includes several exercises
for the development of skills related to the reading and writing of arguments.
- Section 6
305
g
t-
Aims of the Section
- On completion of the study of this chapter you should be able to:
• identify and describe the elements of an argument;

• describe the various ways of reasoning;
• identify arguments that are valid and sound and those that are not;
• recognize the appeals used in arguments;
• explain the characteristics of a critical analysis of an argument;
• write a critical analysis of an argument;
• write an argumentative essay.
25
Writing in English Writ- ing inWhat
English is Argument?
All of us have used argument as a communication strategy in our lives and from quite a young
age. It has been essential to our survival in the past and is even more essential for success
(personally and professionally) in the modern world. The arguments that you are most familiar
with are considered informal verbal arguments usually involving two people. Some of you have
used argument to convince your parents to lend you the car or to stay out late. Some of you have
also used argument to convince your lecturers to accept late assignments. The type of argument
we are going to discuss in this section, however, is formal academic argument of the written
type. This type of argument has a more complicated structure than your informal arguments
and a range of strategies to pull from to convince your readers to agree with the claim you are
making.
In this section, we are making a distinction between persuasion and argument. While they
both share the purpose of changing the readers’ minds on a controversial issue by presenting
premises in support of a claim or proposition, they are different in the means used to achieve
that end. In persuasion, the arguer uses appeals to the emotions of the readers to bring them over
to his/her side of the issue. In formal argument, on the other hand, the arguer largely uses appeals
to reason to convince readers to change their views on the issue.
Academic writing of all types is to some extent argumentative because it is based on stating a
thesis and supporting that thesis with evidence (facts, examples, and so on). The logic of this
relationship between the thesis and the support is that in order to convince readers that your
opinion is reasonable, you use facts and examples to support the thesis and if readers believe
that your support is relevant, credible, and sufficient, they will agree with the thesis. For example,
this underlying purpose to convince readers of the truth of the thesis exists even in expository
writing even though its primary purpose is to inform an audience who is not necessarily
antagonistic. A piece of academic writing that is considered a formal argument, however, goes
a step further. Its primary purpose is to convince readers to change their opinions or beliefs on
an issue that is controversial. The writer of an argument therefore assumes that most of his/her
readers have an antagonistic attitude to the thesis and so he/she has to use specific strategies not
used in exposition to bring the readers over to the writer’s side of the issue.
The Basic Elements of an Argument

The overriding aim of formal argument is to arrive at the truth of the issue. The problem is that
on many issues, one can only arrive at what is probably true, not what is absolutely true. This
underlying goal and the obstacles to achieving it determine many of the structural elements of
formal argument.
What is Argument? 307
1. A Controversial Issue
To be considered an argument, a piece of writing has to be about a controversial issue. This
means that some perfectly reasonable people may agree with one side of the controversy and
other reasonable people may agree with the other side. This is why the main purpose of the
writer in a formal argument is to convince the reasonable believers of the opposite side of the
argument to come over to his/her side. An example of a current controversial issue would be
global warming. While the majority of climate scientists acknowledge its existence, there are a
few climate scientists who do not. As a result, some reasonable people argue that it exists while
others argue that it does not exist and arguers from each side cite the relevant group of scientists
to support their argument.
Application: A Controversial Issue

Using the definition of an argument as reasons supporting a claim, which of the following are
arguments and which are not? A good way to check for the presence of a claim is to check if
“therefore” or “so” can be used before one of the statements.
1. Cell phones are disruptive to the environment of the people in earshot, they are a health
risk and they distract drivers and cause road accidents. They should be strictly regulated.
2. The Income Tax Department requires that completed tax forms and payments be
received by 30th April. If these are not received by that date, you will be charged a late
fee of 100 dollars.
3. Henry is the only person with a key to the safe besides Ms. Johnson. The money was
discovered missing right after she was alone in the building. The police are sure to
consider her a suspect.
4. We need to be at the airport at 8:00am. It will probably take us about 50 minutes to

get from here to the airport because of the rush hour traffic. We should leave home by
7:00am.
2. Argumentative Claims
•
The particular side of the controversial issue an arguer takes in an argument is called the claim,
which is equivalent to the thesis in expository writing. Claims can be of different types. There
are claims of fact, claims of value, and claims of policy. The type of claim you are making
usually determines the types of strategies you will need to use to convince your readers.
The claim of fact involves topics that are about things that can be proved or verified. Some
examples of arguments that are claims of fact are disputes about causes or effects, disputes about
definitions, disputes about the extent of a problem, disputes about whether events happened
or not, and disputes about whether processes in nature exist or not. The best types of support
for claims of fact are usually facts, statistics, examples, and expert opinion. The following are
examples of claims of fact.
(a) Global warming has already had several negative effects on the environment.
(b) Global warming is caused by man-made pollution.
(c) Teaching foreign languages by the total immersion method is not as

effective as proponents of the method profess.
The claim of value has to do with matters of right and wrong, good and bad, appropriate or
not appropriate, and so on. In short, this type of claim makes a value judgment about things
or people. Claims of value cannot always be proved absolutely unless the particular value is a
common value that everyone shares. However, people often do not agree about what is right
or wrong, good or bad, beautiful or ugly. Arguments in these cases are hard to prove. The kind
of evidence or support that is appropriate for this kind of claim is not necessarily factual. The
writer of the argument often sets up the criteria for judging or assessing the claim and uses as
support how the topic meets or does not meet the criteria. Claims of value are often about
competing values, such as the rights of the unborn versus the rights of the mother. Examples
of controversial topics that usually lead to claims of value are stem cell research, abortion, and
torture. Here are some examples of claims of value.
a) Stem cell research using fetal tissue is unethical.
b) Abortion is never right.
c) Under certain circumstances, torture is justified.
The final type of claim is the claim of policy. These claims usually defend or challenge
established or proposed policies of government, companies, schools and so on. The types of
support used in this type of argument are facts, explanations, and examples of how the policies
have met or will meet the stated goals or not. Some examples of claims of policy are as follows:
a) The age at which one can start to receive a national insurance pension should be
raised.
b) The minimum drinking age should be lowered.
c) Corporal punishment should not be used as a form of punishment in schools.

Note that a single topic does not always lead to one particular type of claim. The topic of
teaching sex education in schools, for example, lends itself to claims of all three types.
a) Policy claim: Sex education in schools should be optional, not mandatory.
b) Value claim: Teaching sex education in schools is wrong.
c) Factual claim: Teaching sex education in schools results in an increase in teenage

pregnancies.
Application: Claims
Identify which of the three types of claims (fact, value, or policy) each of the following
propositions exemplify and explain why you think so.
1. Global warming is having a deleterious effect on the Earth’s weather patterns.
2. Smoking should be prohibited in public spaces.
3. Even though they deny it, religious cults use brainwashing techniques to retain their
followers.
4. The use of corporal punishment to discipline children is wrong.
5. Using subliminal messages in television advertisements and in recorded music should

be prohibited by law.
6. The one-chance 11+ common entrance examination is unfair to children who are late-
developers.
3. Definitions
•
It is often very important in argument to define the terms involved in your claim, especially if
any of your terms are ambiguous and are likely to cloud the issue for your audience. Some of
your readers might have one definition for a term and others might have another definition. If
there is any ambiguity in a term, give the definition you are using in the argument. Clarifying
definitions are usually given in the introduction before introducing the claim, but this is not cast
in stone. If the definition is involved, perhaps you need to devote the first body paragraph to
establishing it. Some arguments are actually entirely about competing definitions of a word or
term. Arguments about abortion, for example, often turn on how the arguers define “when life
begins,” and arguments on euthanasia often turn on competing definitions of “death.” Note
that if there is no ambiguity about any of the terms in the argument, it is not necessary to define
terms that both the arguer and the readers agree on.
4. Audience
Often, the type of claim you choose to use in an argument will be influenced by the type of
audience you are trying to convince. It is very important in writing an argument to consider the
characteristics of your readers if you want to have a chance of changing their minds. You should
analyse your readers’ point-of-view before you begin writing by asking the following questions:
• Who are my readers?

• What values do they feel strongly about?
• What is my readers’ biggest point of disagreement on the issue?
• What do my readers need to know about the issue in order to change their views?
• What common ground do we share?
(See also Section Four, Chapter 14)
When you find out where your readers are on the issue after doing the analysis, you will have
a better idea what types of claims and what types of appeals will work with them. Note that
in order to convince someone who does not share your point-of-view, you at least need to
acknowledge their point-of-view or, if possible, refute it. If you ignore their point of view, they
are not going to listen to your argument. The part of the argument where you take care of the
readers’ point-of-view is called the counterargument or rebuttal. We will give more details on
this aspect later on in the chapter. It is also necessary to establish if there is any way in which
you and your readers have common ground on the issue. Use of this strategy can prevent your
readers from being totally antagonistic to your views on the topic and suggest that you are a
reasonable person. Here is an example of establishing common ground with the audience as a
lead-in to the claim.
During most of my school years, corporal punishment was used in the schools
which I attended. I accepted it as the norm and did not give it a second
thought. Even after I left school and before I had children, I thought it was
an effective way to discipline children. However, now that I am a parent with
some experience using it as a way to discipline my children, I have thought
deeply about it and changed my mind. Corporal punishment is not an effective
way to discipline children and should not be used in schools.
In effect, the writer is suggesting that at one point in her life, she shared the same point-of-
view on corporal punishment as her readers. Doing this establishes some understanding of the
readers’ point-of-view, and is designed to put them at ease right away.
5. Types of Support
One type of support for the claim that is absolutely necessary in argument is reasons. Reasons
are general statements that link the support to the claim. They may be explicitly expressed or
may be implied. An argument follows where the reason which links the support to the claim is
explicit.
a) Any adult who reads at only a primary school level must be pretty dumb. I don’t think
Tyrone is qualified for the job; he can’t read above a primary school level.
The reason that links the claim “Tyrone is not qualified for the job” to the factual evidence “He
can’t read above a primary school level” is “Any adult who reads at only a primary school level
must be pretty dumb.”
Here is a modified version of the above argument with the support and the claim expressed but
with the reason left implicit.
b) Tyrone is not qualified for the job; he can’t read above a primary
school level.
It is quite easy for the reader to figure out that the speaker is implying that anyone who can’t read
above a primary school level is deficient in some way.
All the other types of support constitute evidence to back up the claim. The strongest and
best type of supporting evidence is facts. Facts are those statements that have been verified or
proved through experience, observation, or experimentation. The following is an example of a
fact that has been established through experimentation:
c) Water boils at 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
Another type of support that is considered strong support is statistics. Statistics are the
presentation of information in the form of numerical data. There are rules for the collection
of this numerical data and if they are followed, statistical data can be relied on. Most people
believe that this type of support is factual and is one of the best types of support one can use
in argument. However, the most common way of collecting data is by the sampling method,
which is essentially an inductive argument based on probability, not absolute proof. In inductive
arguments and statistics one looks at a part of the population and what is true for that part (the
sample) is inferred to be true of the whole population. Consequently, the conclusion is never
absolutely proven but is a matter of probability. You need to use statistics with the fact that they
are inductive arguments in mind. There can be errors introduced into the data if the sampling
method is faulty: too small, not representative of the entire population, biased, and so on. Note
that how one presents the data can also be manipulated. Statistics can be presented as simply
numbers in the form of averages, percentages and medians, but they can also be presented as
tables, charts, and graphs. The attractiveness of graphic presentations is that they are visually
appealing to the reader and can be used to make the relationships among the different sets of
data clear. However, beware of scales being manipulated to present a false picture of those
relationships. In short, just as one can lie with words, one can lie with numbers. Here is an
example of statistical support that could be used in an argument about underage drinking.
d) A 2005 US national survey found that 28% of youth under the drinking age
of 21 reported drinking alcohol and the majority of them (24.8%) were
either binge drinkers or heavy drinkers.
(Source of statistics: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration of
the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. “Results from the 2005 National
Survey on Drug Use and Health: National Findings.” September 2006. Web.)
Another type of evidence used as support is examples. Examples are not as strong support
as straightforward facts, but some of them that are based on real occurrences can actually be
checked for veracity and are factual in that sense. Note that some issues are about values and
straightforward factual support is usually not appropriate support in these cases so arguers resort
to examples. Examples are the most familiar type of evidence and can enliven an argument that
would otherwise be dull if the arguer used purely dry facts. Note that in political campaigns,
candidates often attack the credibility of their opponents by using negative examples from their
lives. For example,
a) Candidate Cadogan is known to have misused government funds for her
personal use in 1999.
b) He is not trustworthy; he was unfaithful to his wife during his first
marriage.
These types of examples, even though they are sometimes lies, are often very effective in tainting
the opposing candidate and affecting the result of the election. As a critical reader or writer,
check these types of examples for veracity and do not use them in your writing to manipulate
your readers, even if true.
Another type of example that you need to be aware of is the hypothetical example.
Sometimes arguers use made-up examples to illustrate a claim and if the hypothetical example
is emotionally charged, it can be rather persuasive support to the uncritical reader. To the critical
reader, however, hypothetical examples are not based on real events and even though they may
perform the function of an acceptable appeal to pathos, they cannot be used as solid evidence
to support a generalisation. They are often used to personalise an argument and force the reader
to reconsider his/her point-of-view; however, they should not be considered strong support for
the claim. For example, in an argument for using animals in experimental research, the arguer
might use the following hypothetical example to convince a reader who is against it.
What would you say if you were told that an experiment on a monkey that would
result in the taking of the life of the monkey might result in a finding that
would save the life of your only child? Would that change your mind about
using animals for experimental research?
Another type of support that comes under the umbrella of an example is the analogy. This type
of example is not as strong support as the example based on real events. It involves comparing
one thing to another but the two things compared are from different categories. In this way it is
different from logical comparison, which involves comparing two things that are similar because
they are from the same category. An analogy works in the following way. A similarity between
the two different things is pointed out and it is suggested that if the two things being compared
are similar in this way, one can therefore assume that they are similar in other ways. Since they
are from two different categories, one cannot assume that because they are similar in one way,
they are also similar in other ways. Whether they are similar in the other way suggested is what
a critical reader has to evaluate in an analogy. Here is a common analogy made when discussing
whether the confidentiality of the journalist and his sources should be legally protected.
The confidentiality between the journalist and his source is similar to the
confidentiality between the doctor and his patient and the lawyer and his
client; therefore, journalists should have the same confidentiality protection
as doctors and lawyers have.
A critical reader might look carefully at the nature of the confidentiality in the relationship of
the journalist to his source as opposed to the nature of the confidentiality in the relationship of
the doctor to his client. What is confidential is not really the same in both cases. The thing that
is confidential between the doctor and the patient is the patient’s medical information, not the
patient. What is confidential between the journalist and the source is not the information given
but the identity of the source. Analogies can be effective in convincing readers because they tend
to make complex relationships simple, but in doing that, they can obscure important information.
They can also be emotionally-charged as in the example above. As a thoughtful writer, be careful
to use analogies that clarify abstract concepts but avoid analogies that manipulate your audience.
Besides facts, statistics and examples, the other type of evidence is that based on opinion. There
is only one type of opinion that is accepted as valid support of a claim in formal argument and
that is expert opinion. All of us in our daily lives respect the opinion of authorities. We rely
on doctors’ opinions when they give us advice about our health and we rely on lawyers’ advice
in legal matters. On a daily basis, we also rely on the weather forecasters to give us information
on what weather we should expect. Expert testimony is also acceptable in court cases. In using
this type of support, you need to make sure that the expert’s credentials are genuine, that his/
her opinions are respected by peers, that the credentials are relevant to the issue being addressed,
and that the expert is not biased on the issue. An expert who gives an opinion on a controversial
topic and whose research is being funded by one of the companies involved in the controversy
might be suspected of being biased. Also note that experts sometimes disagree on a controversial
issue. For example, one psychiatrist might be of the opinion that the defendant was insane when
he committed the crime and another psychiatrist might be of the opinion that the defendant
was perfectly sane.
Another type of support of the opinion type is personal opinion. This is the weakest of all
the types of support because of the subjective nature of personal opinion. However, on certain
topics, you as writer may have relevant personal experience of the issue and so be qualified to
give your opinion on the issue. For example, in supporting an argument on whether high school
students should be allowed to work part-time or not, you might include your personal opinions
on the matter, based on your personal experiences as a high school student. However, this
should not be your major support because of its subjectivity.
The value of any support, including opinion, depends on its relevance to the issue, its reliability
as evidence, and the credibility of the author. More detailed guidelines for evaluating evidence
presented in support of a claim will be given to you in the chapters on writing. Here you are
merely being introduced to the various types of evidence used in argument, their relative
strengths as evidence, and some drawbacks of each type.
Application: Types of Support

Identify the type of support each of the following statements exemplifies. The possible types of
support are reasons, facts, statistics, examples, hypothetical examples, analogy, expert opinion,
personal opinion.
1. Some people are turning to alternative medicine to get the equivalent effects received
from conventional medicine but without the negative side effects.
2. My aunt, who is a successful lawyer, sought alternative medicine treatments for

cancer when conventional methods did not work. Luckily, she was able to pay out-
of-pocket for the treatment since her health insurance did not cover it.
3. My brother is very intelligent; he graduated from a reputable high school with a GPA
of 4.0 and got a scholarship to Yale.
4. Corn is not the only raw material for producing ethanol; it is produced from sugar
cane in Brazil.
5. Coping with life is like walking on a tightrope. If you do not develop strategies to keep
your balance, you are likely to fall off the tightrope when you lose your footing or when
outside forces shake the rope. That balance is achieved by maintaining all three aspects
of life: your mind, your body, and your spirit.
6. Rhetorical Appeals
•
Support can also be looked at from the point of view of appeals. The classical rhetoricians
thought that for an argument to be successful, it needed to contain three types of appeals:
appeals to logic or reason, which they called logos; appeals to needs and values, which they called
pathos; and appeals to credibility, which they called ethos. Their views are still very influential
today.
The types of support discussed earlier (reasons and evidence) constitute the logical support
for the argument using reason. When an author uses this type of support for the claim, he is
appealing to logos. There should be a clear line of reasoning linking this type of support to
the claim, and the logical support should be strong and reliable. In a formal argument, this type
of appeal is absolutely necessary to convince your readers that your claim is a reasonable one.
While the bulk of your appeals in a formal argument should be logical because appeals to logic
maintain the objectivity of the argument, an argument that merely uses appeals to reason can be
dull or boring and might not motivate readers to change their minds or act.
It is therefore necessary, even in a largely objective argument, to include an appeal or two to

emotion. This type of appeal to the emotions is called the appeal to pathos in classical argument.
Appealing to the needs and values of the readers often touches them in an emotional way and
can be the clincher in the argument that brings them over to your side and motivates them to act.
According to the well-known psychologist Abraham Maslow, we all have a hierarchy of needs
ranging from those that are basic to those that are of a higher order. Our basic physiological
needs necessary for survival are for food and drink, shelter, and sex. After these needs are
fulfilled, then higher order psychological needs become prominent. These are safety needs,
love and belonging needs, esteem needs (self and others), and the highest order need, self-
actualization, which includes creativity and self-expression. Advertisers who are selling products
that they want to persuade you to buy often use appeals to these needs to help them sell their
products.
An appeal to the values of readers is also considered an appeal to emotion or pathos. A value
is a principle that a person considers worthwhile or even necessary for his/her happiness. Some
common values shared by Western societies are freedom, justice, loyalty, patriotism, equality
and so on. Even though these are shared values, the individual person’s definition of what these
abstract concepts mean might not be exactly the same, so some arguments are about definitions
of values such as freedom. Often too, an issue might involve appeals to two competing values
and the success of the argument depends on which of these values is more important to the
audience. For example, since 9/11 some people have argued that torture of those involved is
justified by appealing to the terrible suffering of the families of those who were lost in the act
and their need to feel that justice has been done. Those who oppose torture believe that it is
inhumane treatment of one human being by another and believe that it is never justified even
given circumstances such as 9/11. Both sides appeal to values, so whether a reader is convinced
by one side or the other depends on which value is more important to him/her. Despite these
complications, appealing to the shared values of readers will often touch the emotions of the
readers and motivate them to accept your claim. On the whole, you should be careful when
using the appeal to pathos in a formal argument. Do not use too many emotional appeals which
would transform your argument to persuasion, and do not use any unfair emotional appeals that
manipulate your readers by short-circuiting their ability to reason.
The third type of support that is considered necessary to achieve your purpose of convincing
your readers is the appeal to credibility or ethos. It is very important that you as a writer of
an argument show your readers that you are a credible writer by demonstrating that you are
qualified to speak on the issue (by being well-informed); that you are fair (by considering the
counterargument or refuting it, and by not trying to manipulate your readers by using unfair
emotional appeals), and that you have respect for yourself and your readers (by trying to eliminate
all grammatical errors in your presentation of the argument). All the above listed factors affect
credibility. Using evidence from credible sources to support your argument is also an appeal to
ethos. If you are not a credible arguer, your readers will not be inclined to believe your appeals
to logic or your appeals to values.
7. The Counterargument
To avoid bias, as an arguer, you must address the counterargument because it is the most likely
point or points that will be used to challenge your claim. The counterargument is one or more
of the most important points made by readers who oppose your views. These are the readers
whose minds you want to change so you need to consider the views they already have on the
issue. There are several ways of dealing with the counterargument. The best way is to show that
it is not true, but this is not always possible in arguments based on values. If it is possible to
prove it is not true, this is considered a rebuttal of the counterargument. Another way to deal
with it if the former is not possible is to recognize that the counterargument has some merit,
but balance that with a point of your own that has equal merit. A final way of dealing with the
counterargument is to acknowledge that it has merit, but point out that it does not have as much
merit as a point of your own. Here is an example of handling the counterargument by claiming
that your point has more merit than the point made in the counterargument.
Although all-year schooling, where students get only a one-month break

in the summer, will significantly increase the cost of operating schools,
the additional expense will be worth it. The additional time spent in the
classroom will result in students being better qualified to enter college
when they graduate as is exemplified by the KIPP charter schools in America,
whose students attend all-year school and 80% of their graduates make it to
college.
(Source of statistics: Mona Mourshed and Fenton Whelan. “How to Close the Achievement Gap.”
Newsweek. August 2010.)
Application: Rhetorical Appeal

Identify which of the three rhetorical appeals (logical, ethical, and emotional) each of the
following reasons/support exemplifies. There may be more than one answer to some of these.
1. Drivers playing music on their car stereos at excessively loud volumes are being
inconsiderate and unfair to pedestrians and other drivers on the road.
2. Those who play their music at such loud volumes while driving are noise polluters who
can cause harm to others, especially senior citizens whose hearing might already be at
risk.
3. According to WHO, there are several adverse health effects of noise pollution on humans:
hearing impairment, sleep disturbances, cardio-vascular disturbances, disturbances in
mental health, and impaired task performance.
(Lois Goines and Louis Hagler. “Noise Pollution: A Modern Plague: Adverse Health Effects of
Noise.” Medscape Today. 2007. 6 September 2010. Web.)
4. My grandmother came from Trinidad to visit us a few years ago when we lived near
the airport. While she was here, she had a heart attack. We discovered that she had
undetected cardiac problems and the noise from the planes had caused the attack.
Ways in Which We Reason

•
Logic is a very complex area of study and one can spend an entire philosophy course or two
trying to cover all its complexity. However, the purpose of this section on argument is not
meant to give you all that is involved in logic. Nevertheless, you need to understand certain
basic concepts involved in reasoning in order to come to grips with what is going on when we
argue. Having this knowledge will help you analyse other people’s arguments and will help you
write well-reasoned arguments. There are basically two ways in which we argue: by induction
and by deduction. In inductive reasoning, we move from specific evidence we have collected
to a general conclusion based on that evidence; in deductive reasoning, we begin with a broad
generalisation and draw out a more specific conclusion that logically follows from it.
1. Induction
In inductive arguments, we reach a conclusion about an issue by inferring from a sampling of
specific examples that we have looked at that what is true of those examined examples is also
true of all unobserved similar examples, that is, the whole group. Here is a simple example of
how we use inductive argument in our daily lives. Your car has broken down and you have to
take the bus to class for a while. For five days in a row, a bus has stopped at your bus stop at 8:15
a.m. (give or take a few minutes) so you infer from this specific sample of bus arrivals that you
can expect a bus to be at your bus stop around the same time every day.
Because an inductive argument is based on observing only some examples, the conclusion is
not a fact that has been absolutely proven; the strength of an inductive conclusion is based
on its probable truth. Consequently, testing to see if an inductive argument is good or not is
based on first examining the observed evidence carefully to see if a large enough number of
cases has been examined in relation to the size of all possible examples. For instance, if the size
of the entire group is 5,000 and you look at a sample size of 25 (.5%), the probability of your
conclusion being true is slim. Note that many people make generalisations about issues based on
only one example. This is a fallacy in argument called a hasty generalisation because an inductive
leap has been made and the probability of the generalisation being true is nil.
Another factor that needs to be checked in evaluating the probable truth of an inductive
conclusion is if the sample has been collected randomly from the population so that any
variation in the population has a likelihood of being captured in the sample. For example, if you
wanted to know how many people in a particular area bake their own bread and your method
of collecting your sample was telephone calls to households during the day, you are biasing the
sample towards housewives and against working men and women. Note that statistics are often
based on inductive arguments so they are often based on probability, not absolute truth.
In addition to the above, if the person refuting your inductive argument finds one example that
counters it, that forces you to modify your claim from “all” to “most” or “some.” For example, if
you made a claim that “All swans are white,” and your refuter brought evidence of the existence
of one rare black swan, you are forced to change your generalisation to “Most swans are white.”
It is therefore important for you to know when you are making an inductive argument and to be
careful about the nature of the evidence you use to support it. Even though the conclusion of
an inductive argument is based on probability, it is a method that is often used in experimental
research to discover new knowledge. Here are a couple of examples of inductive arguments.
a) I know three redheads who have terrible tempers, and since your new girlfriend Evelyn
has red hair, you had better watch out for her bad temper.
b) According to many environmental scientists, not recycling paper, glass and plastic waste
does damage to the environment. We therefore need to protect the environment by
developing a mandatory recycling program.
Another form an inductive argument can take is that of an analogy suggesting that if two things
from different categories are similar in one respect, they are similar in other respects. One can
have logical analogies or false analogies. Each analogy, therefore, needs to be assessed on its
merits.
2. Deduction
In deductive arguments, we arrive at a logical conclusion deduced from two premises. One of
these premises is a broad generalisation that purports to be true (the major premise) and the other
is a narrower concrete example (the minor premise). The type of reasoning involved in moving
from the two premises to the conclusion is called deduction. The conclusion of a deductive
argument is not really new knowledge. If the premises (old knowledge) are true, the conclusion
should logically follow from them. One is merely “drawing out” the conclusion inherent in the
premises. This relationship between two premises and the conclusion drawn out of them in a
deductive argument is called a syllogism in classical argument. This syllogism makes the form
of the deductive argument clear. The well-known classical example of a syllogism follows:
Major premise: All human beings are mortal.
Minor premise: Socrates is a human being.
Conclusion: Socrates is mortal.
The logic goes thus: if all human beings are mortal and Socrates is a member of the class of
human beings, then it is logical to conclude that Socrates shares the characteristics of all human
beings, one of them being mortality. A deductive argument can be tested for the validity of the
logic of the argument but even though the logic might be valid, it is not necessarily a sound
argument if the premises are not true. A sound argument, the final evaluation of a deductive
argument, has to have valid logic and true premises. One can use Venn diagrams to graphically
illustrate the logic of the relationship among the terms of the argument to see if the conclusion
naturally flows from them. The classical syllogism given above would be diagrammed as follows:
This diagram demonstrates that the logical relationship among the three terms in the argument
proves the conclusion and so the argument is valid. To test if it is a sound argument, one has to
ask if the major and minor premises are true. It is generally accepted that all human beings are
mortal and that Socrates was a human being,

Mortality
so the argument is an example of a sound
argument.
Human Beings
Not all arguments are presented to us in
normal discourse as syllogisms. We often
Socrates have to pull the parts of the syllogism out of
normal discourse. Sometimes, this is made
more difficult by the arguer not making the
major premise explicit. Here is an example
of a deductive argument in normal discourse
where the major premise is implicit.
a) Clifford has a degree in English so he is a good writer.
Here the implied major premise is “All people who have degrees in English are good writers.” A
deductive argument with one of the premises unstated is called an enthymeme. The syllogism
is as follows:
Implied major premise: All people who have degrees in English are
good writers.
Minor premise: Clifford has a degree in English.
Conclusion: Clifford is a good writer.
If we tested this argument for the validity of the logic using Venn diagrams, the pattern of the
diagram would be the same as the one used in the earlier argument; “good writers” would be the
term in the widest circle, “people who have degrees in English” would be in the second largest
circle, and “Clifford” would be in the smallest circle. The logic in this argument is therefore
valid. In order to find out if this argument is a sound argument, we need to test if the premises
are true. The major premise is questionable. Can we absolutely say that “all” people who have
degrees in English are good writers? Remember that this is an inductive generalisation based on
probability. We might be able to say “some” or even “most” people who have degrees in English
are good writers, but it is questionable to assert that all are good writers. This is therefore not a
sound argument, despite the valid logic and the truth of the minor premise.
Here is an example of a deductive argument where the logic is questionable.
b) Candidate Black is a socialist; he has supported government-subsidised social programs.

All socialists do.
Implied major premise: All socialists support government-subsidised social programs.
Minor premise: Candidate Black has supported government-subsidised social

programs.
Conclusion: Candidate Black is a socialist.
Government-subsidised
programs
Human Socialites
Candidate Black (?)
The minor premise does not demonstrate the conclusion that Candidate Black is definitely
a socialist. Some government-subsidised programs are not necessarily socialist. Saying that
all socialists support government-subsidised programs does not imply its opposite that all
government-subsidised programs are supported by socialists. It implies that some government-
subsidised programs are supported by socialists. The logic of this argument is not valid. Testing
for the truth of the premises, we find that both premises are likely true, but the argument is not
a sound one because of the invalid logic.
Application: Induction and Deduction

Identify the following short arguments as either inductive or deductive. Explain why you think
so.
1. Physical education should be required in schools because physical activity promotes

health.
2. I helped you clean your room last week so you should help me cheat on my math test
tomorrow. After all, one good turn deserves another.
3. Anything that helps in the elimination of human diseases should be promoted. Animal
research has helped in the elimination of many human diseases; it should be promoted.
4. Ethanol is not as environmentally-friendly an alternative fuel as most people
5. think. It requires more energy to produce than fossil fuels and the production of it
contributes to global warming.
6. Dogs are just like people. They can differentiate between an angry tone of voice and a
playful tone of voice.
3. An Alternative Analysis
•
In more recent times, the British philosopher Stephen Toulmin has proposed another method of
analysing how we reason that has become popular as an alternative way to check the reasoning
in an argument. This method is less complicated than the classical method and is an easier way
to analyse long arguments than using the classical method. Long arguments usually contain
a series of shorter arguments as grounds for the wider claim/thesis and checking each one
using the classical method would be cumbersome. Arguments are still analysed as inductive
or deductive, but the Toulmin model replaces the syllogism as a way to test the validity of a
deductive argument with a new method which can be used for testing both types. The three
parts of the Toulmin model of analysing an argument neatly correspond to the three parts of
the deductive syllogism. In the Toulmin model, however, they are renamed the claim, the support,
and the warrant. In this method, the test for the validity of the argument is not separated from
the evaluation of the support and the warrant. Often in evaluating a deductive argument using
the classical method, because the validity of the logic is separated from the evaluation of the
premises, we are seduced into thinking that if the logic is valid therefore the argument is a good
argument. We know now that if the logic is valid but the premises from which the conclusion
is drawn are not true, then the argument is not sound. In the Toulmin model of analysis, you
evaluate the logic, the quality of the support and the quality of the warrant at the same time.
In this method, the warrant is considered to be the reason that links the support to the claim.
It corresponds to the major premise of the syllogism and like it is sometimes not explicitly
expressed. In addition to the three basic parts of claim, support and warrant, which correspond
to the three parts of the syllogism, the Toulmin model adds three other aspects that one needs
to consider in analysing an argument: the backing, the qualifiers and the rebuttal.
In checking the quality of the warrant and the support, one needs to check if any additional
evidence is presented to shore up either the support or the warrant. Warrants can be of different
types and those that are based on values, for example, may need additional backing. More
often than not, the backing is an implicit assumption. In the argument discussed earlier about
Candidate Black being a socialist, an implied backing underlying the warrant is that to do anything
that can be considered socialist in a capitalist society is bad. Those readers who believe this are
likely to accept the warrant and the conclusion without question. Here is another occasion
where it would be smart of the arguer to provide backing. In an argument claiming that global
warming does not exist, why should readers accept the expert opinion of a small percentage of
scientists over the expert opinion of the majority of scientists who believe it does exist? The
arguer coming from the point-of-view of the non-existence of global warming might need to
provide backing for his/her support that would preempt the above challenge.
Another factor involved in the Toulmin model is consideration of aspects of the argument that
could affect the quality of the argument, in short, qualifiers. Very few claims can be stated in
absolute terms in argument; it is largely about probability. As a critical reader, do you see any
statement in the argument that needs to be qualified? Often statements about “all,” whether
support, warrant, or conclusion, are over-generalising and need to be qualified and changed to
“some” or “most.” For instance, an arguer who asserts that ”All women are bad drivers” can be
challenged by readers by merely presenting one woman who is a good driver to make the arguer
qualify his/her statement to “Some women are bad drivers.” In looking for possible areas in an
argument that might need to be qualified, check for the use of words such as “always,” “never,”
“the best,” the “worst,” and so on. As a writer of arguments, avoid expressing your claims in
absolute terms; be careful to qualify your claims if the qualification will make your claim nearer
to the truth.
The final part of the Toulmin model of analysis is the rebuttal. As a writer, if you want to be
considered a credible (fair) arguer, you should always consider any challenges your audience can
make to your claim and so always anticipate your readers’ points on the issue and rebut them. As
an evaluator of someone else’s argument, you should always check if the arguer has addressed
and rebutted any counterarguments. In addition, think of a strong counterargument or rebuttal
to the writer’s argument that the arguer has not acknowledged because that counterargument
might contradict what he/she is claiming. Consideration of rebuttals stated or omitted is very
important in analysing your own arguments or other people’s arguments.
While the three parts of the Toulmin model in a deductive argument correspond quite neatly to
the syllogism, how does the Toulmin model work with an inductive argument? In an inductive
argument, which usually has only two expressed parts, the claim and the support, the warrant
is implied. The warrant is the representativeness and size of the sample that is necessary (a
guarantee) for the argument to have a strong probability of being true. So checking the quality
of the evidence presented to back up the claim is checking to see if the guarantee implied in a
warrant has been fulfilled. In the case of an analogy, which is another form an inductive argument
can take, one needs to check whether the similarities suggested between the two different things
compared really do have a high probability of supporting the claim. The warrant then is the
probable quality of the analogy.
Here is an analysis of a short deductive argument using the Toulmin model.
c) Why are you so surprised that Brian is accused of taking a bribe? After all, he is a
politician.
The claim: You should not be surprised that Brian is accused of taking a bribe.
Support: He is a politician.
Implied warrant: All politicians take bribes.

The support premise is factual (can be proved). However, the truth of the warrant is questionable.
Even if we accept that “some” or “most” politicians take bribes, we cannot absolutely prove
that “all” politicians take bribes. This warrant can be challenged by citing one politician who
has never taken a bribe. Modifying the warrant immediately affects the logic of the argument
because the claim does not necessarily follow from “Some politicians take bribes.” Brian could
be one of the few who do not take bribes. This is a short written argument, but in a longer verbal
argument, the listener could have rebutted by pointing out that Brian is only accused of taking a
bribe; he has not been found guilty yet. The listener could also have cited a politician they both
know who has never taken a bribe to make the speaker qualify her implied warrant.
(Sources that informed the section on the Toulmin model:
Sylvan Barnet and Hugo Bedau. From Critical Thinking to Argument. New York: Bedford/St.
Martin’s, 2005. Print;
Nancy Wood. Essentials of Argument. New Jersey: Pearson, 2009. Print.)
ASSIGNMENT
1. Choose a deductive argument and an inductive argument from the previous application
and evaluate whether each argument chosen is a logical or illogical argument. For the
deductive argument, use either the formal method to test it for validity or the informal
Toulmin method.
2. Choose a print or electronic advertisement (either commercial or political) and discuss

the rhetorical appeals to needs and values used in the advertisement.
26
Writing inFallacies
English Writing of Argument
in English Writing in EnglishWriting in English WritingWriting in English Writ-
In addition to all the pitfalls of inductive and deductive arguments that were discussed in the
previous chapter, there are several other fallacious strategies that a critical reader or consumer of
other people’s arguments needs to be aware of. The particular fallacies discussed in this chapter
are not only characteristic of formal arguments but can also be found in informal arguments,
in political campaigns, and in advertising since all these vehicles are really arguments trying to
convince or persuade you to change your mind about something or to take action. The average
person is therefore vulnerable to being constantly bombarded by these fallacious methods and
if you are not aware that they are fallacies, you are open to being manipulated. In addition, as a
writer of sound arguments, you also need to be aware of these fallacies in order not to use them
when you write arguments.
Fallacies of Reasoning
This group of fallacies involves errors in logic. Because the methods of reasoning are so complex,
it is easy to commit some of these fallacies without realising that they are fallacies. Becoming
aware of fallacies of faulty logic can help you avoid them in your own work and also help you
identify what to rebut in other people’s arguments.
Equivocation or the Fallacy of the Fourth Term

The fallacy of equivocation can be found in both inductive and deductive arguments. It involves,
intentionally or unintentionally, changing the meaning of a word or a term in the middle of the
argument. In induction, the arguer is, in effect, using a word or term and is not being consistent
with the meaning of the term within the argument. Here is an example of a word that changes
meaning in the middle of the argument.
a) I do not see why you are accusing me and my neighbours of discrimination when
we decide who should live in our neighbourhood. If people were not allowed to
discriminate, they could not make decisions between good and bad, right and wrong
and this would lead to a loss of our basic freedoms.
In this argument, there is equivocation on the term “discrimination.” In its first appearance as
the noun, it means an act of prejudice against a group of people and the word with this meaning
has a negative connotation. In its second appearance in the argument in the form of the verb
“to discriminate,” it means to exercise judgment on the basis of clear distinctions between things
and the word with this meaning has a neutral connotation. In short, the person making this
argument has tried to make something that is negative seem to appear positive or at least neutral,
by using the word in both of its meanings and pretending that it has only one meaning.
When equivocation on a term is used in a deductive argument, it causes the syllogism to have
four terms instead of three. There is a rule of logic which says that each syllogism, to be valid,
needs to have only three terms, each one mentioned twice. Following is a syllogism in which a
term is used with two different meanings, causing four terms in the syllogism instead of three.
b) Major premise: Designing persons are not trustworthy.
Minor premise: Engravers are designers.
Conclusion: Engravers are not trustworthy.

Here what the arguer means by “designing persons” has a different meaning than the use of
the word “designers.” In its first appearance, the word means “conniving persons;” in its second
appearance, it means “creative persons.” Uncritical readers might consider this to be the same
term and therefore consider this to be a valid argument. Critical readers, however, will notice
that the term is ambiguous, that is, it has changed meaning in the middle of the argument giving
the syllogism four terms instead of three. This makes the logic invalid.
2. Non Sequitur
This is a Latin term which means “it does not follow.” Clearly then, this occurs when the
conclusion in an argument does not logically follow from the premise or premises given. Here
is an example of a non sequitur.
c) My friend Charmaine will make a good parent; she is a financially independent

professional.
This is a non sequitur because no logical relationship exists between the premise “She is a
financially independent professional” and the conclusion “My friend Charmaine will make a
good parent.” One does not need to be financially independent to be a good parent. One can be
quite poor and be a good parent.
3. False Dilemma or the Either-or Fallacy

There are such things as true dilemmas where there are only two options in a situation. For
instance, if you are told “Your options are pay the fine or go to jail,” there are only two options
to this dilemma. There are no other options but these two. However, the fallacy of false dilemma
involves suggesting that a situation has two and only two options when, in reality, the situation
is more complex and there are other options between the two extremes. In this case, the arguer
Fallacies of Argument 327
is simplifying a complex issue and presenting it in black and white terms. Here is an example
of a false dilemma.
d) You can’t have it both ways: killing is either right or wrong.

It is not always as simple as that. Even the law courts consider extenuating circumstances when
deciding on guilt or innocence and treat certain instances of killing as justifiable homicide. The
state can also legitimately execute (note we do not call it “kill” here) certain criminals for serious
crimes.
4. The Post Hoc Fallacy

The complete Latin term for this fallacy is post hoc, ergo propter hoc with the meaning “after this,
therefore because of it.” It is often referred to as simply the post hoc fallacy. This occurs when
a person suggests a causal link between two things just because one occurred after the other.
The first is considered to be the cause and the thing that follows is considered the effect. In
reality, proving a causal link between two things is very difficult. Often, the most we can establish
logically is a high correlation between the two things. For example, after much research, all we
can say about the link between smoking and cancer is that there is a high correlation between the
two. We cannot say definitely that smoking causes cancer in all cases. In a post hoc fallacy, the mere
sequence of events is being suggested as proof positive of a causal link. Here is an example of
the post hoc fallacy.
e) This year I sent my son who is studying at Cave Hill more money than last year and his
grades were lower. I am not going to send him any more extra money because it makes
him idle.
There is no logical reason to come to the conclusion that the extra money caused his lower
grades simply because his lower grades occurred shortly after his mother gave him extra money.
5. Hasty Generalisation
A hasty generalisation occurs when one makes an inductive leap to a premature conclusion
from insufficient evidence. Often people make hasty generalisations from only one example,
but looking at only a small sample when the population involved is very large can also result in
a hasty generalisation. Here is an example of a hasty generalisation made from only one piece
of evidence.
f) Mail order clothes never fit well. I once ordered a jacket in my size and when I received
it and tried it on, it was too small. I had to return it. I will never buy any clothes by mail
again.
It is never logical to make a sweeping generalisation from one piece of evidence because the
likelihood of your conclusion being true is extremely low. Beware of assertions using or implying
such words as “all,” “everyone,” “everything,” “no one,” “nothing,” or “always.” Examine them
carefully to see if there is enough evidence to justify a generalisation about the whole group.
6. Slippery Slope
In the fallacy of the slippery slope, there is the suggestion that if one takes the first step in a
certain direction one will of necessity be forced to take a series of other steps which will lead
to disaster of some sort. The logical fallacy here is the suggestion that taking that first step will
put you on a slippery slope (where you lose control of the situation) and you will not be able to
stop when you want to or turn back. While there might be genuine slippery slopes where one
does lose control as in addiction to drugs, there are other situations where one can use discretion
about, for example, how much we need to regulate the financial sector without stifling growth.
Suggesting that if the government imposes any regulation on the financial sector at all it will
automatically lead to over-regulation and ruin is not a reasonable argument to make because
human beings are capable of exercising discretion. The following is an example of a slippery
slope fallacy.
g) I do not support any type of gun control. If we allow the government to impose any
control on guns, soon it will lead to guns being banned altogether.
If the government imposes some control on guns (for example, making lethal weapons such
as the AK47 illegal) that does not mean that it is logical to assume that the government will of
necessity go on to make all guns illegal.
7. Begging the Question or Circular Reasoning

Often in question begging, the argument expresses a conclusion that requires proving or testing
as though the proof has already been established when it has not. The question being begged is
the missing proof. The arguer is asking the reader to accept the missing proof on faith. Here is
a question begging argument.
h) All obscene books, like Lady Chatterley’s Lover, should be banned.

The question being begged here is the proof that Lady Chatterley’s Lover is an obscene book.
Another type of question begging is the circular argument. In this type, the conclusion merely
restates one of the premises. Here is an example of question begging of the circular type:
i) Of course the Bible is true. St. Paul says, “All scripture is given by inspiration from
God.”
In this argument, what is being proved in the conclusion is also being used as a premise in the
argument. The Bible is true because it says so in the Bible.
8. Red Herring
The red herring fallacy involves the attempt of the arguer to distract the reader away from the
real issue he/she does not want to address. The arguer does this by raising an irrelevant side issue
to throw the reader off-track. The following is an argument which uses the red herring fallacy.
j) I agree that the high school needs money to upgrade the badly deteriorating facilities,
but in our present hard economic conditions, we should be thankful that the school has
a winning cricket team that often brings credit to the school.
In the argument, rather than addressing the issue of the money needed to repair the facilities,
the arguer raises an irrelevant aspect of the school (the winning cricket team) as a diversion away
from the real issue.
9. False Analogy
As you learned in Chapter 25, analogy is an indispensable mode of inductive argument. However,
you need to be careful in using analogy because you can easily stray into the fallacy of false
analogy. Consequently, you should examine analogies closely when you encounter them in other
people’s arguments, and also use them with care in your own arguments. In a good analogy,
even though the two situations compared are from different categories, the analogy is based on
some similarities they share. In a false analogy, the two situations compared do not share enough
similarities to constitute a good analogy. Just because the two items are alike in one way does not
mean they are alike in all ways. Here is an example of a false analogy.
k) I pay for my college education in the same way I pay for my groceries in a supermarket.
Why does the college I attend insist on telling me what courses I have to take?
Here the two things compared are similar in the sense that you pay for each item you select in the
supermarket and you also pay for each individual course you do at college. However, to suggest
that food items in a supermarket are similar to the courses one does in college is questionable.
In the supermarket, one takes a concrete item and hands over money in exchange; in college
one does not “buy” education. One pays in advance for a service whose success depends on
participation on your part and each course plays a part in a wider whole, a college degree which
is intended to give the participants a rounded education. Selecting only the courses you want to
do in college will not result in a rounded education.
Ethical Fallacies
This group of fallacies involves errors related to ethical considerations. Several of them attack
the credibility of the opposing arguer with the intent of having people not even consider the
arguer’s views on the issue. Others use material that seems credible but that is, in reality, false.
This type of material, if recognised as false, negatively affects the credibility of the arguer. You
should therefore be aware of what some arguers are trying to do when they use ethical arguments
and also be aware of the ones that will negatively affect your own credibility if you use them.
1. Ad Hominem
This is a Latin term meaning “to the person.” It involves a writer who, in refuting another’s
argument, tries to question his/her credibility by indulging in a personal attack on the person’s
character instead of addressing his/her argument. It is a diversionary tactic which is meant to
tell readers to ignore the points made by the attacked person. The following is an example of
an ad hominem argument.
a) I cannot vote for him for the position of city councilman. He was once accused of
stealing money from the bank where he works.
In the argument, the author is using negative information about the person, which he was not
found guilty of (he still works for the bank) to justify not voting for him.
2. Guilt by Association
The assumption underlying this fallacy is that you are always like the persons you associate
with. This is, of course, not necessarily true, but if you associate with people who have negative
characteristics, you are often accused of having the same characteristics as your friends. A critical
thinker should not make the assumption that if a person has a friend who has a questionable
character that he also has one. There are many sayings which reinforce the view that you are like
the people you associate with. A well-known one is the cliché “Birds of a feather flock together.”
Here is an example of this fallacy.
b) Carl’s best friend in college was a socialist who liked to discuss Marxist ideas with anyone
who would listen. You can be sure he is one too. I would not associate with him if I were
you.
A critical thinker would not place much store in this argument. There is no reason to believe that
Carl is a socialist because he had a friend who was one. The author is using this to discredit him.
3. False or Vague Authority

Even though using the expert opinion of someone who is qualified to speak on an issue is
considered credible support, be careful of the use of authorities who are not qualified or not
clearly identified. This hampers your own credibility as a writer. Some arguers are vague to
the point where their authorities cannot be checked. When an argument begins “Research says
that…,” this is a vague reference to the authority of research. It cannot be verified and thus
diminishes your credibility rather than enhancing it. Here is an example of the false use of
authority.
c) According to Dr. Carlton Black, a well-known surgeon at John Hopkins University,

global warming does not exist.
This is the use of the fallacy of false authority because the authority’s expertise is not in the
area of global warming but in surgery. He is therefore not qualified to speak as an authority on
global warming.
4. Tu Quoque
This Latin term means “you also.” In this fallacy, the arguers are saying to their opponents that
they cannot accuse the arguers of a particular wrong-doing because the opponents have done
the same thing also. This fallacy is really an attack on the credibility of opponents on the grounds
that they are also guilty of the same thing. Here is an example of a tu quoque argument.
d) How can you tell me not to smoke marijuana when I know you smoked it in the 70’s?
Here the writer is challenging the opponent’s authority to tell the speaker that he/she should not
smoke marijuana based on the fact that the opponent has smoked it in the past. It is a fallacy
because the opponent might not have known its effects at that time, but now he/she does and
so has more authority to give advice about smoking or not smoking it than if he/she had never
smoked it.
Emotional Fallacies (Unfair Emotional Appeals)

Here again, all appeals to emotion are not fallacious. One is advised to include some appeals to
emotion (pathos) in a largely logical argument to hold the interest of the reader and to prevent
a totally dry presentation. However, appeals to emotion, if carried too far, can result in the
manipulation of the readers by short-circuiting their ability to reason and seducing them to make
decisions on the issue based totally on emotion. The following are some unfair emotional appeals
which are fallacious. Note that many of these appeals are used not only in formal arguments but
also in politics and in advertising.
1. Bandwagon Appeal
In this fallacy, the underlying assumption is that if most people are doing a particular thing,
it is alright for you to do it too. This is basically the fallacy involved in peer pressure. This
assumption, of course, omits the question of whether the thing everyone is doing is right or
wrong, legal or illegal. In your classes, you might see several students cheating and this might
give you the impression that everyone (except you) cheats. It is not logical to conclude that even
though cheating is wrong, it is fine for you to do it because everyone else is doing it. The fact
that many people are doing something does not change it from being wrong or illegal to being
right or legal. Critical thinkers should never do or agree with anything solely because others are
doing it. Here is an example of a bandwagon appeal.
a) It is okay to drive over the speed limit in the left hand lane of a multi-lane highway.
Everyone does it. After all, that is why it is called the fast lane.
It is not okay to drive over the speed limit in the fast lane, but this person believes that if most
drivers drive over the speed limit in the fast lane, then others should join the bandwagon and do
it as well. It is questionable whether the law officer who gives him/her a ticket will accept this
argument.
2. Appeals to Fear
In this fallacy, the arguer uses an excessive appeal to some fear you might have and then tries to
persuade you that you need to take some sort of action to allay this fear. Fear is a very strong
emotion and an appeal to fear can often stray into an unfair appeal to emotion. Do not be
manipulated by it when others use it in their arguments and do not use excessive appeals to fear
in your own arguments. Here is an example of a strong appeal to fear to convince readers that it
is justified to do something drastic to allay this fear.
b) In light of the evil act that occurred on 9/11, the government is justified in attacking
Iraq, whose leaders are supporters of terrorism, to prevent Iraq and other Muslim
extremists from killing people here on our own soil.
Here the fear of Americans connected with 9/11 is being used to justify going to war. That fear
appeal can override questions that need to be asked about whether Iraq was really a supporter
of terrorism.
3. Ad Misericordiam (Appeals to Pity)

Appeals to pity can very easily become manipulative because pity appeals to the emotions rather
than logic. This fallacy works by using hard-luck or excessively sentimental stories to arouse the
sympathy of the readers/listeners. Here is an example of an argument that appeals to the pity
of the listener.
c) Professor Green, I have been absent from the last three classes and did not hand in my
essay assignment because my best friend in Trinidad was threatening to commit suicide.
I had to spend hours on the phone the first day trying to convince her not to do it, but I
eventually had to go to Trinidad for a few days to be with her to convince her not to do
it. I just came back to Barbados yesterday.
Here the arguer is depending on her appeal to pity to convince her professor to excuse her
absence from class and to accept a late assignment. If her excuse is true, it is not a fallacy, but if
it is not true, it is a fallacy. But how is the professor to know whether the excuse is true or not?
The professor in this case should ask for some sort of proof that this actually occurred.
4. Special Pleading
A person is guilty of special pleading if he/she has a vested interest in the issue and is making
excuses as to why his/her case is different from other similar cases. A totally biased or one-sided
argument is often special pleading. Here is an example of special pleading.
d) It is against the law to dodge the draft. A person who does it is a criminal. A draft evader,
however, is someone who avoids being drafted by using legal means. My son evaded the
draft by legal means. He is a draft evader, not a draft dodger.
Here the arguer has a vested interest in the issue because of her son and is extending the
meaning of the term “draft dodger,” giving it two variations, one negative and one positive.
She wants to protect her son from the negative label of “draft dodger.”
5. Plain Folks
In this type of fallacy, the arguer urges readers to accept his/her position on an issue because it
comes from someone who is just like the readers. The arguer hopes that the readers will identify
with him/her and accept the argument. Here is an example of a plain folks argument.
e) Vote for me. I am just a regular guy just like you. I am not one of those do-nothing
politicians, who have no idea how the average person lives and what your problems are.
In this argument, the arguer is appealing to the readers’ emotions by suggesting that he/she
identifies with the readers and will support actions that are in their interest. In reality, when the
readers vote for the arguer, resulting in a win, he/she often becomes one of those “do-nothing”
politicians.
Logical, ethical and emotional fallacies in an argument can affect the validity and reliability of the
argument. It is therefore important that you educate yourself about these fallacies so that you, as
a reader of other people’s arguments, are armed with knowledge that allows you to be a critical
reader and not be manipulated into accepting an argument as valid when it is not. You also need
to be aware of these fallacies as a writer of arguments so that you can avoid committing them
and affecting the reliability of your arguments, which in turn may affect your credibility as an
arguer in the eyes of your readers.
Application: Fallacies of Argument

Identify any fallacies (logical, ethical, or emotional) you find in the following statements. Explain
why each statement is an error in reasoning. There may be more than one answer to some of
these.
1. The last time I ate at that restaurant, the next day I had an upset stomach. The food
there is obviously not properly prepared.
2. There is no question that Professor Mayers is an excellent teacher. He graduated from a

first-class Ivy League university and has published several articles in his field in reputable
journals.
3. Far too much fuss has been made of a few voting irregularities in the last election. Many
other countries have had voting irregularities. Even the United States is suspected of
being guilty of it as we saw in Florida when President George W. Bush was elected.
4. Anyone who calls a set of blueprints a house is foolish. Why should we call a fertilised egg
or tiny embryo a human being? Those who campaign against abortion are sentimental
and irrational.
5. The countries of the Caribbean need to face up to the fact that we must either learn to
resolve our differences and unite or fall prey to neo-colonialism, which is even worse
than colonialism.
6. I cannot support the nomination of that candidate. It is well-known that he has been a
guest of her Majesty’s prison. It is true that he has paid his price to society, but in the
present circumstances, we need a statesman of integrity and strength.
7. I did not steal your pen. I merely borrowed it to sign a cheque I was mailing yesterday
and inadvertently put it in my bag without thinking. I intended to return it to you.
8. Since the purpose of prison is to rehabilitate criminals, it is reasonable to conclude that

after a convict has served out his sentence he will not return to a life of crime.
9. After finding out that she had failed math, Sandra cried and complained that it was not
her fault because Professor Strickland’s tests were too hard and he did not like her.
10. When I saw all those starving, sickly children from Africa on the television, I convinced
my parents to contribute some money to the program. I felt guilty about my family
having more than enough food to eat while children in the world are starving.
11. I am just like you folks. I know what it is to grow up poor and have to struggle to make
ends meet. Vote for me and I will make sure your concerns are addressed.
12. All your friends are slackers without jobs goofing off all day playing video games. They
are not even interested in attending college. Before you know it, you will be dropping
out of college and doing the same thing. I haven’t seen you doing any studying recently.
13. Our country is divided into two kinds of people: those who work and those who do not
want to work. People who do not want to work should not be given welfare.
14. Once we decide to begin the process of human genetic engineering, there is no logical
place to stop. It will lead to human cloning and our eventual destruction as a species.
15. Women score higher on vocabulary tests than men.

•
ASSIGNMENT
Research the following fallacies in your library or on the Internet. Write explanations for three
of them and create a sample statement to illustrate each of the three you have chosen.
1. Card stacking
2. Ad populum
3. Genetic fallacy
4. Poisoning the well
5. Ad ignorantiam
27
Writing in English Writ- ing in Analysing
English Writing in Arguments
Analysing an essay requires critical reading and thinking. As you have seen from Chapters 25 and
26, arguments can be complex, and a critical analysis of an argument will require deep reading
as well as an assessment of the strategies and methods used by the writer. You have already
learned some of the strategies for critical reading in earlier chapters of this book and they will
be useful as you read arguments. In this chapter we will review the characteristics of critical
analysis, focusing more attention on strategies for reading an argument critically and writing an
analysis of an argument.
Characteristics of a Critical Analysis

Let us begin with a short example from the New York Times (June 4, 1990) by Jeanne Mager
Stellman and Joan E. Bertin and presented in the Opposing Viewpoints Series, Greenhaven Press
(1991, p.116). Read the brief excerpt which comments critically on an article that had appeared
in the New York Times.
Child I.Q.: The Real Factors
Women’s drinking and birth defects are big news. The New York Times ran
a front page story and a Sunday magazine piece promoting the proposition
that “as little as one drink” during pregnancy can lead to intellectual and
physical defects. But the research upon which these broad generalizations
are based shows no such thing.
In one set of these studies, the authors clearly state that their data could
not be interpreted below a three drink per day level. They noted, moreover,
that the “strongest predictors of child I.Q.” were other factors: “maternal
education, mother-infant interactions, paternal education, race and birth
order.” Is it the occasional glass of wine or social factors, like education
and poverty, that should have been highlighted?...
Alcohol abuse is one of the major public health hazards today – to the
drinkers, their families and innocent bystanders. Indeed, it is reported to
have accounted for more than 100,000 deaths in 1987 in the U.S. alone. But
modest occasional drinking, during pregnancy or at other times, has not been
shown to be a threat to an otherwise healthy person.
(Source - Jeanne Mager Stellman and Joan E. Bertin, The New York Times, June 4, 1990. Presented
in Chemical Dependency: Opposing Viewpoints, Charles Cozic and Karin Swisher (Eds.) San Diego:
Greenhaven Press.)
Analysing Arguments 337
1. In the first paragraph, the authors take issue with the thesis statement or the claim in the

original article (“as little as one drink” during pregnancy can lead to intellectual and physical defects).
2. They then claim that the authors make “broad generalizations” that are not supported
by the research (the evidence) presented.
3. In the second paragraph, they refer to the actual research presented as evidence by the
authors of the original article to show that they had not been able to interpret their own
data below a certain point (“below a three drink per day level.”) and they refer to additional
evidence (other factors) from the research that the authors had cited as being “strongest
predictors” of “child IQ”.
4. In the final paragraph, they acknowledge the negative effects of the abuse of alcohol
and present a statistic on the number of deaths caused by alcohol abuse. They end with
a statement that questions the soundness of the claim (that alcohol causes intellectual and
physical defects).
Although this is an abbreviated critique, it presents some of the main characteristics of an

analysis which is summarised in the following points. Read them carefully.
• The authors refer to the claim very early in the piece and identify it for the reader.
• They indicate very early that they disagree with the thesis and suggest that the evidence
also does not support the claim. In doing this, they are indicating to the reader their
viewpoint on the subject.
• They present something of a definition for social factors by giving as an example of this
“education” and “poverty” (paragraph 2).
• They summarise the evidence presented by the authors in “one set of studies” that, in
their view, could not have led to the generalisation made in the claim or thesis.
• In summarising the evidence, they imply a weakness in the reasoning of the writers of
the original article (a comment on logos – see Chapter 25) and question their correctness
(Is it the occasional glass of wine or social factors, like education and poverty, that should have been
highlighted?...). Their question also raises some doubt in the reader’s mind about the
trustworthiness of the writers (their ethos).
• They use a few quotations from the original article to present the reader with an idea of
the tone and voice of the original authors (paragraphs 1 and 2).
• In the final paragraph, there is the hint of an appeal to pathos in the reference to “innocent
bystanders” and in the number of deaths (100,000 in one year) resulting from alcohol
abuse. (Why do you think they mention these details?)
• The final paragraph presents a view counter to that of the writers of the article they are
critiquing and the phrasing also suggests that the original argument was weak.
• Overall, the critique is well organised and it incorporates the main characteristics of an
analysis.
Application: Critical Analysis of an Argument

1. Review the information presented in points 1 to 4 and also in the bulleted list and
for each description given of what the authors have done in the critique, write out a
statement that explains the characteristic. For example: (i) Identify the claim / thesis
and present it impartially to the reader. Go on and prepare similar statements for all the
bulleted points given.
2. Read the following critique, identify the characteristics and comment on how the author
uses them. Refer to the discussion points of the critique in this section and the list of
statements you have prepared.
The Correct Perspective
In Feminism Unmodified: Discourses on Life and Law, [feminist lawyer Catharine]

MacKinnon tries to distinguish the “male morality of liberalism and obscenity
law from a feminist critique of pornography.” The former, she writes, would
cite Judge Potter Stewart’s controversial statement “I know it when I see
it” (referring to how an obscenity law could be enforced) as evidence of the
inherent arbitrariness and unenforceability of any such law. On the other
hand, according to MacKinnon, a feminist critique of pornography would not
object to the idea Stewart expressed but to the male standpoint from which
he expressed it. Thus, he would not know what he sees but she would and so,
by extension, would any feminist called upon to evaluate pornography from
the standpoint of women as an oppressed class. The glaring inconsistency of
this contention is that it demonstrates the arbitrary nature of censorship.
For, if Stewart’s “male” perspective is not correct but MacKinnon’s is, what
is to stop another group (say for argument’s sake, other feminists who feel
they have suffered even greater oppression than MacKinnon, perhaps class and
racial oppression as well) from claiming that theirs, not hers, is the more
genuine standpoint from which to make such judgments? And, further, what
is to stop some subgroup within this subgroup? The argument rapidly recedes
into the realm of the absurd, leaving one more, rather than less, convinced
that censorship is not the answer to the problem.
(Source - Lynn Chancer, “ New Poliltics,” Summer 1988.In Cencorship: Opposing

Viewpoints, Lisa Orr (Ed.) San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 1990 p. 200.)
•
Critically Reading an Argument

Theses/Claims, Assumptions and Definitions
When we read an article or an essay to get the gist of it or a general understanding of the writer’s
point, we may read quickly, returning to parts to pick up the thread of the discussion or for
clarification. When we are reading for the purpose of writing an analysis of the article we have
to read carefully, more than once, and we have to think critically as we read. It is useful to read
through the entire article once and then go back to it for a second reading, at which point we
engage more intimately with the text. Such an engagement is facilitated if we make notes as we
read, so it is useful to have a pencil or a highlighter available. If the book is not yours, you should
not write in it but you can use a pad for making notes as you read. It is always a good strategy to
ask questions of yourself and of the text (the author) as you read, as this helps to clarify issues
and foster your understanding.
As you read through the first time, you can highlight the phrase or sentence or make a mark
in the margin or note the page and paragraph number on your pad to identify issues that you
want to revisit in detail on the second reading. At the second reading, look for specific use of
the characteristics of an argument. Identify the thesis and claims made, and write down your
comments as to whether the thesis is clearly stated and gives an indication of the direction that
the author will take in developing the argument. Look for assumptions that the writer may make
explicitly or determine whether there are underlying assumptions that are not stated. Make a
note of any implicit or unstated assumptions that come to mind. You must examine these as
well as the explicit assumptions in the article to determine whether they are commonly held
beliefs or whether they can be challenged. A writer may acknowledge implicit assumptions in
the argument but if you detect any that the writer does not seem to be aware of, it is important
to note what these are and to discuss their implications for the case the writer makes. You
should consider whether the evidence presented can support the assumptions made by the
writer. There may be some assumptions that you share with the author and you do not need
to challenge these. But it may well be that a writer with a different viewpoint may not share
these assumptions and may have some opposing ones. You can determine whether the author
anticipates such opposition and deals with it and whether the evidence presented is sufficiently
adequate to support the thesis and not cast doubt about the assumptions.
Application: Analysing Theses and Assumptions

Read the following introductory paragraphs to arguments to
1. identify the thesis and

2. identify and examine any explicit and implicit assumptions contained in the extract.
i. Hamburgers and ketchup. Movies and popcorn. Drugs and crime.
Drugs and crime are so thoroughly intertwined in the public mind that
to most people a large crime problem seems an inevitable consequence of
widespread drug use. But the historical link between the two is more a
product of drug laws and crime and three of them would be much diminished
if drugs were legalized. This fact doesn’t by itself make the case for
legalization persuasive, of course, but it deserves careful attention in
the emerging debate over whether the prohibition of drugs is worth the
trouble.
(Source - Ethan Nadelmann, “Shooting Up.” The New Republic, June 13, 1988)
ii. The chimpanzee is more like us, genetically, than any other animal. It
is because of similarities in physiology, in biochemistry, in the immune
system, that medical science makes use of the living bodies of chimpanzees
in its search for cures and vaccines for a variety of human diseases.
There are also behavioural, psychological and emotional similarities

between chimpanzees and humans, resemblances so striking that they raise
a serious ethical question: are we justified in using an animal so close to
us – an animal, moreover, that is highly endangered in its African forest
home – as a human substitute in medical experimentation?
In the long run, we can hope that scientists will find ways of exploring
human physiology and disease, and of testing cures and vaccines that do
not depend on the use of living animals of any sort. A number of steps
in this direction already have been taken, prompted in large part by
a growing public awareness of the suffering that is being inflicted on
millions of animals. More and more people are beginning to realize that
nonhuman animals – even rats and guinea pigs – are not just unfeeling
machines but are capable of enjoying their lives, and of feeling fear,
pain and despair.
But until alternatives have been found, medical science will continue to
use animals in the battle against human disease and suffering. And some
of those animals will continue to be chimpanzees.
(Source - Jane Goodall “A Plea for the Chimps” The New York Times Magazine, May 17, 1987.)
•
Definitions
In Chapter 25, we introduced the use of definition and noted the importance of defining any
terms related to the claim to make clear to the reader how the writer intends the term to be
understood in the article. As you read, you should try to determine whether the writer has
provided a definition for key terms and whether the definition is adequate. In the first critique
we examined, you may recall the writer’s reference to “social factors” and providing examples of
social factors, “education” and “poverty.” You may well question whether these are sufficiently
broad to cover the term in the context of the argument in question. The writers have used
definition by example in this instance to provide an idea of the meanings they ascribe to “social
factors” but you can decide whether the example is inadequate to illustrate the point they are
making. You should therefore make notes on the writer’s definition of terms in the article as you
will need to comment on the writer’s use of definition (or lack thereof if a definition is needed)
in your critique.
Since there are different ways of defining other than by example, you need to be familiar with
these ways so you can identify them when you encounter them as you read. For example, the
writer may define by giving a specification for the term; this is referred to as definition by stipulation,
or the writer can use another word with a similar meaning, a synonym to define the term or set
a very specific frame of reference, necessary and sufficient conditions in which the term is to be
understood. You will need to identify the definition and ask yourself whether the definition is
adequate and sufficient for the purposes of the argument. As you read, consider and make notes
on the ways in which the argument may be affected by a definition that may be too narrow or too
broad or inadequate in some way, and you will need to discuss this in your critique.
Application: Analysing Definitions

Read the following short critique of a proposal based on a definition of death. Consider the
following questions.
Is the definition given for death adequate or limited?
What issues does the critique raise about the definition?
Do you agree with the writer of the critique? Explain why or why not.
“The condition of permanent vegetative state... is today pressing the law
for yet another supplement to the legal definition of death,” writes Robyn S.
Shapiro in an issue of the Ohio State Law Review. The article, “The Case
of L.W.: An Argument for a Permanent Vegetative State Treatment Statute,”
favourably reviews a proposal to define “permanently unconscious” human beings
as “dead” in order to cease providing them with medical care, and offers an
alternative proposal to achieve the same end.
Unconscious patients are not dead. A law defining them as “dead” would be a
mockery of truth, a convenient legal fiction. As ludicrous as this sounds
such a law would mandate the termination of all medical care and treatment in
order to make a “dead” person die! Even a child knows that it is not possible
to kill a dead person, and equally impossible for a person to be both living
and dead at the same time....
A fundamental truth is that dead bodies are no longer persons, which is

precisely the truth distorted by a proposal to declare certain living human
beings “dead.” In the event that this insane proposal is enacted into law,
a mere diagnosis of permanent vegetative state – even if erroneous – would
strip the patient of legal personhood and permit others to kill him or her
straightaway, no questions asked.
(Source - “Proposals to Treat the Unconscious as Corpses”. Julie Grimstad, Center for the
Rights of the terminally ill. Reprinted in Death and Dying, William Dudley (Ed) Greenhaven
Press, 1992, p. 38.)
•
Summary
A useful strategy you can use as you read is to summarise the points being made in the article.
After you have read the entire article write a brief summary of what it was about. This will help
you to focus on the main point of the piece. To gather the information for your critique, and to
work through the points presented by the writer, you can write a summary of each paragraph as
you read, in a sentence or two to capture the main points being made.
Paraphrase
You may also paraphrase by restating the point or idea in your own words. Remember, the
paraphrase must reflect the meaning of the original text. Whether you use a summary or
paraphrase as part of your presentation, you must acknowledge the original and indicate that
you have summarised or paraphrased. However, it is better to be original in your writing by
commenting on the way the writer presents and develops the argument and by examining the
strategies used to determine whether the argument is sound. Making notes in the way we suggest
will help you record your thoughts and views which will form the basis for the critique.
Application: Using Summary and Paraphrase

1. Read the following paragraphs and write a summary of each in one sentence.
How to Make Oatmeal ... Wrong
There’s a feeling of inevitability in writing about McDonald’s latest

offering, their “bowl full of wholesome” – also known as oatmeal...
From a marketing perspective, they can do almost nothing wrong; from a
nutritional perspective, they can do almost nothing right, as the oatmeal
fiasco demonstrates.
One “positive” often raised about McDonald’s is that it sells calories

cheap. But since many of these calories are in forms detrimental rather
than beneficial to our health and to the environment, they’re actually

quite expensive – the costs aren’t seen at the cash register but in the
form of high health care bills and environmental degradation.
Oatmeal is on the other end of the food spectrum. Real oatmeal contains
no ingredients; rather, it is an ingredient. As such, it’s a promising
lifesaver; oats are easy to grow in almost any non-extreme climate,
and, minimally processed, they’re profoundly nourishing, inexpensive and
ridiculously easy to cook. They can even be eaten raw...
The oatmeal and McDonald’s story broke late last year, when Mickey D’s, in
its ongoing effort to tell us that it’s offering “a selection of balanced
choices” (and to keep in step with arch-rival Starbucks) began to sell
the cereal. Yet in typical McDonald’s fashion, the company is doing
everything it can to turn oatmeal into yet another bad choice. (Not only
that, they’ve made it more expensive than a double-cheeseburger: $2.38
per serving in New York.) “Cream” (which contains seven ingredients, two
of them actual dairy) is automatically added; brown sugar is ostensibly
optional, but it’s also added routinely unless a customer specifically
requests otherwise. There are also diced apples, dried cranberries
and raisins, the least processed of the ingredients (even the oatmeal
contains seen ingredients, including “natural flavour.”
2. Read the following paragraphs and write a paraphrase for each one.
The bottom-line question is, “Why?” Why would McDonald’s, which appears
every now and then to try to persuade us that it is adding “healthier”
foods to its menu, take a venerable ingredient like oatmeal and turn
it into expensive junk food? Why create a hideous concoction of 21
ingredients, many of them chemical and/or unnecessary? Why not try, for
once, to keep it honest? ...
Oh, please. Here’s the thing: McDonald’s wants to get people in the
store. Once a day, once a week, once a month, the more the better, of
course, but routinely. And if you buy oatmeal, they’re o.k. with that.
But they know that, once inside, you’ll probably opt for a sausage and
biscuit anyway. And you won’t be much worse off.
Source - Adapted from “How to Make Oatmeal...Wrong” Mark Bittman, The New York Times,
Opinionator. Online, February 22, 2011. Accessed at 8:30p.m.
•
Reasoning
In Chapter 25, we present various ways of reasoning which represent the logic a writer may use
in making an argument. Review the different types given and work through the examples so
that you are familiar with each type. As you read critically, you are going to have to examine the
reasoning of the writer and the forms of argument used. You must examine the logic used by
the writer in presenting the argument and determine whether it is inductive or deductive. With
inductive reasoning the writer will present examples and draw a conclusion on the basis of these
examples. The writer makes an assumption that what is true about each of the examples will be
true of other similar examples, so a generalisation is made about the entire group. In examining
induction, you need to determine whether the examples (or sample) are enough to allow for a
conclusion to be made about other unobserved examples in the group. In research which seeks
to make generalisations, researchers take care to select a random sample that is large enough and
representative of the larger group to allow for certain conclusions to be drawn about the latter
based on the sample that was examined. As we noted in the section on induction in Chapter
25, if one counter example can be found by someone who is refuting your argument, you will be forced to modify
your claim from “all” to “most” or “some. The example of swans which we use illustrates this point
clearly. Review that example under the section on Induction in Chapter 25.
With deductive reasoning, the conclusion is made based on the premises presented by the writer.
The premises are in effect assumptions that the writer makes. If the relationship between the
premises and the conclusion follows the rules of syllogistic logic, then the argument is valid.
However, it may be the case that one or both premises are not true and even though the logic
is valid, the argument will not be sound because the conclusion has been drawn from premises
that are false. You can determine whether a premise is true based on whether it represents what
actually exists in reality. Review the section on deduction given in Chapter 25 and the diagram
which illustrates how you can evaluate a deductive argument. In Chapter 25, we also describe
a model, the Toulmin model, as an alternative way of testing for the validity of a deductive
argument. This model uses the terms “the claim”, “the support” and “the warrant” which
correspond more closely to the presentation of a long argument. In addition, the model adds
three other components which are applied in an analysis of the argument; these are the backing,
the qualifiers and the rebuttal. Review the explanation and examples given of this model in
Section 6, An alternative analysis in Chapter 25.
As you read and prepare notes for your critique, it is useful for you first to determine the type of
reasoning used and carefully examine the form of the argument. If the argument is inductive,
you need to determine whether the examples given are sufficient to allow for a conclusion that
can be generalised to all such other examples or whether there are possible counter examples
that require a modification to the conclusion. For deductive arguments, you should check for
both the validity and the soundness of the argument and you can use the Toulmin criteria to
determine whether the writer presents enough backing for the claim made in the argument and
whether any of the statements made by the writer need to be qualified. You should also note
any possible counter arguments that you can think of and examine the article to determine
whether the writer does address these counter arguments. If the writer does, then you can assess
the strength of the counter argument or the rebuttal to determine whether the writer refutes
possible counter arguments soundly, with good backing. If there are no counter arguments
where you determine there should be, you can discuss those. In both instances, it is important
that you discuss these aspects in your critique.
One other area that you need to examine carefully is the evidence that the writer uses to support
the argument. There are several types of support material that a writer can use: statistics,
statements by experts or authorities on the subject, evidence from research (refer as an example
to the very first extract in Application 1 of this chapter), examples that illustrate the point being
made, comparisons to other like instances and analogies which are comparisons of different
entities that share similar attributes. In assessing the examples used by the writer you must
determine whether they are pertinent and applicable and related to the argument being made.
Writers can sometimes make up hypothetical cases to illustrate a point. However, you must
remember that while such a case can be used for illustrative purposes, it cannot be used as hard
evidence to prove a point or to draw a conclusion.
In explaining samples (refer to the Induction section in Chapter 25) we indicated that the size of
the sample has to be representative of the entire group. We used as an example a group size
of 5,000 and made the point that if you chose a sample of 25 from this group – which would
give you a percentage of .5% - the conclusion you draw on the basis of that sample may not be
generalised to the larger group. We also noted that drawing a conclusion in such an instance
would result in the fallacy of making a hasty generalisation.
Statistics are sometimes used to support arguments but the form in which the information is
given can mislead. We have already noted the importance of using samples that are random and
large enough to allow for a reasonable conclusion to be drawn. It is important to determine
whether the form of presentation is appropriate. Often, percentages do not present the most
accurate reflection of what may obtain in a population, particularly if the numbers used to
calculate these percentages are small relative to the size of the larger group. Depending on
whether the writer is using the mean or median, a different picture will be presented. You need
to determine what would be the most appropriate statistic in the particular instance. Where small
numbers are used, you may want to question whether the statistics lead to bias in the argument.
Some writers may present statistical information in tables, graphs or charts. These, the graphs
and charts particularly, transform the figures used into a graphic that makes it easier to compare
similarities and differences. However, the same issues that relate to the sampling and the method
of working out percentages will apply to graphics. Two opposing arguments may use the same
statistics in different ways to support their point of view. You need to assess which is the more
plausible interpretation. In the following extract, which we have amended from an article by
Stanton Peele who is arguing that “Drinking During Pregnancy May Not Cause Fetal Alcohol
Syndrome”, note the writer’s references to the use of statistics made by two different authors.
Application: Analysing Reasoning in Argument

Read and discuss the following excerpt. Consider the following two questions in your discussion.
1. What is the major point being made by the writer?
2. Based on his discussion of the Brody and Rosenthal articles, what are some of the
critical issues he raises about the statistics?
3. From his discussion, what conclusions can you draw about the reports that he is
commenting on in the article?
A growing number of pregnant women in the United States avoid alcohol as if
it were thalidomide. The pronouncements of government officials, journalists
and other professional alarmists have convinced them that drinking any
amount of alcohol during pregnancy endangers the fetus. ...
The success of the campaign against drinking during pregnancy demonstrates

that any attacks on alcohol, no matter how far-fetched, misleading, or
counterproductive, are nowadays immune from criticism. By blurring important
distinctions, reports on FAS have generated needless worry among occasional
or moderate drinkers while distracting attention from real problems of
prenatal care....
Given the rush to condemn any drinking during pregnancy despite the dearth
of research evidence to support such a policy, you might guess that fetal
alcohol effect, if not FAS itself, is a widespread phenomenon. But the
Centers for Disease Control estimate that 8,000 “alcohol damaged babies” are
born each year, which works out to a rate of 2.7 for every 1,000 live births
(0.27 percent).
Yet New York Times health columnist Jane Brody offered a much higher figure
in 1986, when she announced “An estimated 50,000 babies born last year
suffered from prenatal alcohol exposure.” (Brody, by the way, does not think
it’s enough merely to abstain from alcohol during pregnancy: “Even drinking
before pregnancy [as little as one drink a day] may have an untoward result,”
she reported.)
Rosenthal does not offer her own estimate, but she says the CDC figure seems
low, apparently because “on some Indian reservations, 23 percent of all
children are reportedly afflicted.” But as she later notes, “The CDC data show
that the syndrome is 30 times more commonly reported in Native Americans than
it is in whites, and six times more common in blacks.” These figures indicate
that alcohol-related damage among babies of white, middle-class women is
actually less common than 2.7 cases per 1,000, since all groups are averaged
together in producing the overall rate....
A 1982 study by Boston University researcher Ralph Hingson suggests that

other factors in the lives of poor, ghetto-dwelling women contribute to birth
defects that have been ascribed solely to alcohol. After studying a sample
of 1,700 women in Boston City Hospital, Hingson concluded that “neither level
of drinking prior to pregnancy nor during pregnancy was significantly related
to infant growth measures, congenital abnormality, or [other] features
compatible with fetal alcohol syndrome.”
Rather, a combination of factors – including smoking, malnutrition, and

poor health care – seems to be responsible for low birth weight and other
problems often attributed to drinking. “The results underline the difficulty
in isolating and proclaiming single factors as the cause of abnormal fetal
development,” Hingson and his colleagues wrote.
(Source - Stanton Peele, “The New Thalidomide.” Reason Magazine, July 1990 and reprinted in
Chemical Dependency: Opposing Viewpoints, Charles Cozic & Karin Swisher (Eds.) Greenhaven Press,
1991, pp112–117.
•
Evidence by Authority and Analogy
Another type of evidence we mentioned is use of experts or the views of authorities on the
subject. In Chapter 25 we cautioned that in using authoritative statements as evidence to
support an argument, writers need to ensure that the authorities to whom they refer are qualified.
It is important also that the authority is clearly identified and they should be experts in the field
in question. In the example we presented, we demonstrated that false use of authority occurs
when a person who may be well qualified in one area is used as an authority in another in which
he or she may not have any expertise. In the case of our example, a surgeon is being used as an
expert on global warming.
We also drew your attention to the proper use of analogy in an argument. We noted, however,
that writers can unwittingly use false analogies in their arguments and so weaken them. As you
assess the use of analogy in an argument, check to ensure that there are sufficient similarities in
the two things being compared.
Critical reading of an Argument

We have covered the main characteristics that you need to look for and address when you read
an argument for the purpose of writing a critical analysis of it. In the following exercise you will
apply the strategies we have suggested to make notes and comments on an argument.
Application: Critical Reading of an Argument

Read the following article once through and then do a second more careful reading in which
you make notes and comments on all aspects of the argument e.g.: thesis / claim, definition(s)
of term(s), forms of argument used, evidence used to support the argument (refer as needed
to examples earlier in this chapter and in chapter 25, assess the validity and soundness of the
argument, check for appeals and fallacies (see Chapters 25 and 26).
The Case for Torture – Michael E. Levin
It is generally assumed that torture is impermissible, a throwback to a more

brutal age. Enlightened societies reject it outright, and regimes suspected
of using it risk the wrath of the United States.
I believe this attitude is unwise. There are situations in which torture is

not merely permissible but morally mandatory. Moreover, these situations
are moving from the realm of imagination to fact.
Suppose a terrorist has hidden an atomic bomb on Manhattan Island which will
detonate at noon on July 4 unless... (here follow the usual demands for money
and release of his friends from jail). Suppose, further, that he is caught
at 10 a.m. of the fateful day, but – preferring death to failure – won’t
disclose where the bomb is. What do we do? If we follow due process – wait
for his lawyer, arraign him – millions of people will die. If the only way
to save those lives is to subject the terrorist to the most excruciating
possible pain, what grounds can there be for not doing so? I suggest there
are none. In any case, I ask you to face the question with an open mind.
Torturing the terrorist is unconstitutional? Probably. But millions of

lives surely outweigh constitutionality. Torture is barbaric? Mass murder is
far more barbaric. Indeed, letting millions of innocents die in deference to
one who flaunts his guilt is moral cowardice, an unwillingness to dirty one’s
hands. If you caught the terrorist, could you sleep nights knowing that
millions died because you couldn’t bring yourself to apply the electrodes?
Once you concede that torture is justified in extreme cases, you have admitted
that the decision to use torture is a matter of balancing innocent lives
against the means needed to save them. You must now face more realistic
cases involving more modest numbers. Someone plants a bomb on a jumbo jet.
He alone can disarm it, and his demands cannot be met (or if they can, we
refuse to set a precedent by yielding to his threats). Surely we can, we
must, do anything to the extortionist to save the passengers. How can we
tell 300, or 100, or 10 people who never asked to be put in danger, “I’m
sorry, you’ll have to die in agony, we just couldn’t bring ourselves to...”
Here are the results of an informal poll about a third, hypothetical case.
Suppose a terrorist group kidnapped a newborn baby from a hospital. I asked
four mothers if they would approve of torturing kidnappers if that were
necessary to get their own newborns back. All said yes, the most “liberal”
adding that she would administer it herself.
I am not advocating torture as punishment. Punishment is addressed to deeds

irrevocably past. Rather, I am advocating torture as an acceptable measure
for preventing future evils. So understood, it is far less objectionable than
many extant punishments. Opponents of the death penalty, for example, are
forever insisting that executing a murderer will not bring back his victim
(as if the purpose of capital punishment were supposed to be resurrection,
not deterrence or retribution). But torture, in the cases described, is
intended not to bring anyone back but to keep innocents from being dispatched.
The most powerful argument against using torture as a punishment or to
secure confessions is that such practices disregard the rights of the
individual. Well, if the individual is all that important – and he is – it
is correspondingly important to protect the rights of individuals threatened
by terrorists. If life is so valuable that it must never be taken, the
lives of innocents must be saved even at the price of hurting the one who
endangers them.
Better precedents for torture are assassinations and preemptive attack. No

allied leader would have flinched at assassinating Hitler, had that been
possible. (The allies did assassinate Heydrich.) Americans would be angered
to learn that Roosevelt could have had Hitler killed in 1943 – thereby
shortening the war and saving millions of lives – but refused on moral
grounds. Similarly, if nation A learns that nation B is about to launch an
unprovoked attack A has a right to save itself by destroying B’s military
capability first. In the same way, if the police can by torture save those
who would otherwise die at the hands of kidnappers or terrorists, they must.
There is an important difference between terrorists and their victims that

should mute talk of the terrorists’ “rights.” The terrorist’s victims are at
risk unintentionally, not having asked to be endangered. But the terrorist
knowingly initiated his actions. Unlike his victims, he volunteered for the
risks of his deed. By threatening to kill for profit or idealism, he renounces
civilized standards, and he can have no complaint if civilization tries to
thwart him by whatever means necessary.
Just as torture is justified only to save lives (not extort confessions or

recantations), it is justifiably administered only to those known to hold
innocent lives in their hands. Ah, but how can the authorities ever be sure
they have the right malefactor? Isn’t there a danger of error and abuse?
Won’t We turn into Them?
Questions like these are disingenuous in a world in which terrorists proclaim

themselves and perform for television. The name of their game is public
recognition. After all, you can’t very well intimidate a government into
releasing your freedom fighters unless you announce that it is your group
that has seized its embassy. “Clear guilt” is difficult to define, but when
40 million people see a group of masked gunmen seize an airplane on the
evening news, there is not much question about who the perpetrators are.
There will be hard cases where the situation is murkier. Nonetheless, a
line demarcating the legitimate use of torture can be drawn. Torture only
the obviously guilty, and only for the sake of saving innocents, and the line
between Us and Them will remain clear.
There is little danger that the Western democracies will lose their way if
they choose to inflict pain as one way of preserving order. Paralysis in the
face of evil is the greater danger. Some day soon a terrorist will threaten
tens of thousands of lives, and torture will be the only way to save them.
We had better start thinking about this.
(Source : Michael E. Levin. “The Case for Torture”, Newsweek, June 7, 1982.)
2. Discuss your notes with the class. Consider the following questions (use the statements
you prepared earlier as a guide):
i) Is the writer’s purpose clear? What is his major claim?

ii) State an analytical thesis you would use for a critical analysis of this essay.
iii) Is the essay well organized? What forms of argument does the writer use?
iv) Is the reasoning sound? Does the writer provide adequate evidence to support his
claim?
v) Are there any instances of fallacies?
vi) Does the writer take into account any possible counter arguments and does he
address them?
vii) How would you evaluate the writer’s argument?
vii) Would the evaluation you have given support your thesis?
viii) Were you able to identify any questionable assumptions?
ix) Did you think of any important points that the writer might have addressed but did
not?
ix) What is your own view of the issue?
3. After the discussion use the notes you prepared and the guiding questions under 2 to
write a short analysis of the essay by Levin. Share your analysis with your group or the
class and be prepared to explain and clarify any issues.
•
Writing a Critical Analysis of an Argument
The reading and exercises you have done in Chapters 25, 26 and this chapter will help you to
analyse arguments, identify the characteristics of good arguments that you can use in your own
arguments and will also help you to write a critical analysis of an argument. In this section we
will focus particularly on the writing of a critical analysis. The following chart presents the
elements you need to include in a critical analysis. On the one hand, you will be reading an
argument to determine how these strategies are used by the writer and on the other hand, you
will be making notes that indicate your own assessment as to how well the writer has met these
requirements. Study the chart below and return to your short analysis of the Levin article to
determine whether you may have left out any critical parts that you should have considered in
your analysis.
Main Parts of the Specific Aspects for Inclusion in a Critical Analysis

Critique of an Argument
INTRODUCTION • Present a short summary of the argument
• State the author’s purpose
• Identify the audience the author addresses
• Identify the author’s major claim
• State a clear analytical thesis
STRUCTURE • The analysis uses the structure of an academic
essay, that is, it has an introduction, a body and
conclusion, and it is organised in paragraphs
• The analytical points are organised logically
• Appropriate transitions are used in the analysis
Main Parts of the Specific Aspects for Inclusion in a Critical Analysis

Critique (cont.) of an Argument (cont.)
CONTENT – • Identify and assess the significant reasons made
Supporting Material by the author in support of the claim
• Identify the types of support used (facts,
statistics, expert opinion, examples)
• Use quotations from the text to illustrate
significant features used by the author
CONTENT – • Identify use of logic (logos) by the author
Strategies (logical support and / or logical fallacies)
• Identify use of ethos (i.e. determine the

credibility of the author)
• Identify pathos (i.e. fair or unfair use of

emotional appeals)
• Identify the author’s treatment of the

counterargument
CONCLUSION • Evaluate the author’s argument
• Your evaluation must support your thesis clearly
• Identify any significant points not addressed by
the author
• Identify any questionable assumptions made by
the author
• Present your view of the issue
STYLE • The writing is fluent
• The writing is clear and coherent
• The tone of the analysis is appropriate
GRAMMAR AND • Well formed sentences
MECHANICS • Good grammar
• Appropriate choice of words
• Correct spelling
• Good punctuation
Application: Writing a Critical Analysis

1. The following is a critical analysis of the Levin article written by a student. Using the
chart above and the points as guiding questions, read the essay to assess how well the
student has analysed the essay.
In “The Case for Torture”, Michael E. Levin insists that torture has
received a bad reputation due to modern human morals. His argument is
definitely interesting, as he states that torture can actually save lives.
Levin’s target audience is from Western society, which has countless
morals compared to the rest of the world. Western society generally
considers torture to be inhumane and unjustified. However, Levin makes a
unique case for torture, stating that it can actually save innocent lives.
After reading his logical and moving article, the reader can actually
think that torture, when used for the right reasons, can keep a country
safe.
First, Levin makes the reader reflect on an analogy of New York being
threatened by terrorists with a hidden atomic bomb. With the terrorist
being caught on the day the bomb is to go off, what should our government
do? Levin states that following due process would lead to the deaths of
millions whereas utilizing torture could lead to the situation being
resolved. Although torturing the terrorist has a chance to succeed in
disarming the bomb, it is not guaranteed. Levin fails to mention that
most terrorists are willing to die for their causes. He does, however,
make an attempt to reach out to the opponents of torture by saying, “I ask
you to face the question with an open mind.” This is his way of saying,
“Although it is not guaranteed, it has a chance to save lives.”
Next, he begins to explain that while torture might be evil and illegal,
it is a necessary evil that should be used. Levin makes two arguments
that an opponent of torture would use and counters them. He basically
outweighs the illegality of torture with the possibility of national
security. One of his few flaws in this article is when he makes the unfair
emotional appeal to the reader by stating “If you caught the terrorist,
could you sleep nights knowing that millions died because you couldn’t
bring yourself to apply the electrodes?” Another flaw he has is when he
made an informal poll about a terrorist group kidnapping a newborn baby.
The poll comes off as being made up, whether it is true or not. Levin
also made an underlying assumption when he stated “All said yes, the most
‘liberal’ adding that she would like to administer it herself” as if a
liberal would be less likely to utilize torture.
Eventually, Levin states that he is “not advocating torture as punishment.”

His definition of punishment is clearly explained, as well as his definition
of the proper use of torture. Levin mentions “The most powerful argument
against using torture as a punishment or to secure confessions is that

such practices disregard the rights of the individual” which is somewhat
true. However, Levin basically says that the lives of the innocent
outweigh the rights of the individual.
Once Levin has made a base for his argument for torture, he raised the
question that most opponents of torture make: Won’t we turn into them (the
terrorists)? Levin brushes off this question and others like it by calling
them “disingenuous”. One thing that leaves his argument open to criticism
from the opposing side is when he says “clear guilt” is difficult to define.
He fails to mention the definition of terrorism. By doing this, he slightly
contradicts his argument for torture. If a person has ties to terrorism
and a terrorist plot, then clearly he or she would be eligible for torture
under Levin’s article.
In conclusion, Levin’s argument for torture was quite enlightening. Before

I read this article, I was against the use of torture. However, the way
that Levin used common sense and analogies allowed me to understand that
while torture is dark, it is a necessary evil. Besides flaws I mentioned
already, Levin didn’t have much refutation in his argument. When he
did mention the opponent’s arguments, he was basically brushing them off
as nonsensical and/ or misinformed. While his conclusion was effective,
I found his addition of “We had better start thinking about this” as
unnecessary. All in all, it was a highly informative article. (Robert
S.)
2. Discuss your assessment of this essay with the class. Using the chart as a guide, indicate
whether Robert S. covered all the critical points. Consider whether there were any salient
points that you had raised in your own analysis that he does not mention. Were they
important? Share your views with the class.
•
ASSIGNMENT
Now that you have had several opportunities to examine how authors present critiques of
arguments and you have also had an opportunity to assess a complete analysis, you can approach
an analysis of a longer essay. The following essay by Martin Luther King, “Letter from a
Birmingham Jail” has been abbreviated for purposes of this exercise. Write a critical analysis of
this essay, using the chart as a guide. After you have done the assignment, you may refer to the
full article as it makes for very interesting reading. It is available online.
Letter from a Birmingham Jail [King, Jr]
My Dear Fellow Clergymen:
While confined here in the Birmingham city jail, I came across your recent
statement calling my present activities “unwise and untimely.” Seldom do I
pause to answer criticism of my work and ideas. If I sought to answer all
the criticisms that cross my desk, my secretaries would have little time
for anything other than such correspondence in the course of the day, and
I would have no time for constructive work. But since I feel that you are
men of genuine good will and that your criticisms are sincerely set forth,
I want to try to answer your statement in what I hope will be patient and
reasonable terms.
I think I should indicate why I am here in Birmingham, since you have been
influenced by the view which argues against “outsiders coming in.” I have the
honor of serving as president of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference,
an organization operating in every southern state, with headquarters in
Atlanta, Georgia. We have some eighty five affiliated organizations across
the South, and one of them is the Alabama Christian Movement for Human
Rights. Frequently we share staff, educational and financial resources with
our affiliates. Several months ago the affiliate here in Birmingham asked us
to be on call to engage in a nonviolent direct action program if such were
deemed necessary. We readily consented, and when the hour came we lived up
to our promise. So I, along with several members of my staff, am here because
I was invited here. I am here because I have organizational ties here.
But more basically, I am in Birmingham because injustice is here. Just as the

prophets of the eighth century B.C. left their villages and carried their
“thus saith the Lord” far beyond the boundaries of their home towns, and
just as the Apostle Paul left his village of Tarsus and carried the gospel of
Jesus Christ to the far corners of the Greco Roman world, so am I compelled
to carry the gospel of freedom beyond my own home town. Like Paul, I must
constantly respond to the Macedonian call for aid.
Moreover, I am cognizant of the interrelatedness of all communities and

states. I cannot sit idly by in Atlanta and not be concerned about what
happens in Birmingham. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment
of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. Never again
can we afford to live with the narrow, provincial “outside agitator” idea.
Anyone who lives inside the United States can never be considered an outsider
anywhere within its bounds.
You deplore the demonstrations taking place in Birmingham. But your statement,
I am sorry to say, fails to express a similar concern for the conditions that
brought about the demonstrations. I am sure that none of you would want to
rest content with the superficial kind of social analysis that deals merely
with effects and does not grapple with underlying causes. It is unfortunate
that demonstrations are taking place in Birmingham, but it is even more
unfortunate that the city’s white power structure left the Negro community
with no alternative.
We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given

by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet
to engage in a direct action campaign that was “well timed” in the view of
those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years
now I have heard the word “Wait!” It rings in the ear of every Negro with
piercing familiarity. This “Wait” has almost always meant “Never.” We must
come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that “justice too long
delayed is justice denied.”
You speak of our activity in Birmingham as extreme. At first I was rather

disappointed that fellow clergymen would see my nonviolent efforts as those
of an extremist. I began thinking about the fact that I stand in the middle
of two opposing forces in the Negro community. One is a force of complacency,
made up in part of Negroes who, as a result of long years of oppression,
are so drained of self respect and a sense of “somebodiness” that they have
adjusted to segregation; and in part of a few middle-class Negroes who,
because of a degree of academic and economic security and because in some
ways they profit by segregation, have become insensitive to the problems of
the masses. The other force is one of bitterness and hatred, and it comes
perilously close to advocating violence. It is expressed in the various black
nationalist groups that are springing up across the nation, the largest
and best known being Elijah Muhammad’s Muslim movement. Nourished by the
Negro’s frustration over the continued existence of racial discrimination,
this movement is made up of people who have lost faith in America, who have
absolutely repudiated Christianity, and who have concluded that the white
man is an incorrigible “devil.”
I have tried to stand between these two forces, saying that we need emulate
neither the “do nothingism” of the complacent nor the hatred and despair
of the black nationalist. For there is the more excellent way of love and
nonviolent protest. I am grateful to God that, through the influence of the
Negro church, the way of nonviolence became an integral part of our struggle.
If this philosophy had not emerged, by now many streets of the South would,
I am convinced, be flowing with blood. And I am further convinced that if our
white brothers dismiss as “rabble rousers” and “outside agitators” those of
us who employ nonviolent direct action, and if they refuse to support our
nonviolent efforts, millions of Negroes will, out of frustration and despair,
seek solace and security in black nationalist ideologies--a development that
would inevitably lead to a frightening racial nightmare.
Oppressed people cannot remain oppressed forever. The yearning for freedom
eventually manifests itself, and that is what has happened to the American
Negro. Something within has reminded him of his birthright of freedom, and
something without has reminded him that it can be gained. Consciously or
unconsciously, he has been caught up by the Zeitgeist, and with his black
brothers of Africa and his brown and yellow brothers of Asia, South America
and the Caribbean, the United States Negro is moving with a sense of great
urgency toward the promised land of racial justice. If one recognizes
this vital urge that has engulfed the Negro community, one should readily
understand why public demonstrations are taking place. The Negro has many
pent up resentments and latent frustrations, and he must release them. So
let him march; let him make prayer pilgrimages to the city hall; let him go
on freedom rides -and try to understand why he must do so. If his repressed
emotions are not released in nonviolent ways, they will seek expression
through violence; this is not a threat but a fact of history. So I have not
said to my people: “Get rid of your discontent.” Rather, I have tried to say
that this normal and healthy discontent can be channeled into the creative
outlet of nonviolent direct action. And now this approach is being termed
extremist. But though I was initially disappointed at being categorized as
an extremist, as I continued to think about the matter I gradually gained a
measure of satisfaction from the label. Was not Jesus an extremist for love:
“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate
you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” Was
not Amos an extremist for justice: “Let justice roll down like waters and
righteousness like an ever flowing stream.” Was not Paul an extremist for the
Christian gospel: “I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.” Was not
Martin Luther an extremist: “Here I stand; I cannot do otherwise, so help me
God.” And John Bunyan: “I will stay in jail to the end of my days before I
make a butchery of my conscience.” And Abraham Lincoln: “This nation cannot
survive half slave and half free.” And Thomas Jefferson: “We hold these truths
to be self evident, that all men are created equal . . .” So the question is
not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be.
Will we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremists for the
preservation of injustice or for the extension of justice? In that dramatic
scene on Calvary’s hill three men were crucified. We must never forget that
all three were crucified for the same crime--the crime of extremism. Two were
extremists for immorality, and thus fell below their environment. The other,
Jesus Christ, was an extremist for love, truth and goodness, and thereby rose
above his environment. Perhaps the South, the nation and the world are in
dire need of creative extremists.
I have traveled the length and breadth of Alabama, Mississippi and all the
other southern states. On sweltering summer days and crisp autumn mornings
I have looked at the South’s beautiful churches with their lofty spires
pointing heavenward. I have beheld the impressive outlines of her massive
religious education buildings. Over and over I have found myself asking:
“What kind of people worship here? Who is their God? Where were their voices
when the lips of Governor Barnett dripped with words of interposition and
nullification? Where were they when Governor Wallace gave a clarion call for
defiance and hatred? Where were their voices of support when bruised and weary
Negro men and women decided to rise from the dark dungeons of complacency to
the bright hills of creative protest?”
Before closing I feel impelled to mention one other point in your statement
that has troubled me profoundly. You warmly commended the Birmingham police
force for keeping “order” and “preventing violence.” I doubt that you would
have so warmly commended the police force if you had seen its dogs sinking
their teeth into unarmed, nonviolent Negroes. I doubt that you would so
quickly commend the policemen if you were to observe their ugly and inhumane
treatment of Negroes here in the city jail; if you were to watch them push
and curse old Negro women and young Negro girls; if you were to see them slap
and kick old Negro men and young boys; if you were to observe them, as they
did on two occasions, refuse to give us food because we wanted to sing our
grace together. I cannot join you in your praise of the Birmingham police
department.
It is true that the police have exercised a degree of discipline in handling

the demonstrators. In this sense they have conducted themselves rather
“nonviolently” in public. But for what purpose? To preserve the evil system
of segregation. Over the past few years I have consistently preached that
nonviolence demands that the means we use must be as pure as the ends we
seek. I have tried to make clear that it is wrong to use immoral means
to attain moral ends. But now I must affirm that it is just as wrong, or
perhaps even more so, to use moral means to preserve immoral ends. Perhaps
Mr. Connor and his policemen have been rather nonviolent in public, as was
Chief Pritchett in Albany, Georgia, but they have used the moral means of
nonviolence to maintain the immoral end of racial injustice. As T. S. Eliot
has said: “The last temptation is the greatest treason: To do the right deed
for the wrong reason.”
I wish you had commended the Negro sit inners and demonstrators of Birmingham
for their sublime courage, their willingness to suffer and their amazing
discipline in the midst of great provocation. One day the South will recognize
its real heroes. They will be the James Merediths, with the noble sense of
purpose that enables them to face jeering and hostile mobs, and with the
agonizing loneliness that characterizes the life of the pioneer. They will
be old, oppressed, battered Negro women, symbolized in a seventy two year
old woman in Montgomery, Alabama, who rose up with a sense of dignity and
with her people decided not to ride segregated buses, and who responded
with ungrammatical profundity to one who inquired about her weariness: “My
feets is tired, but my soul is at rest.” They will be the young high school
and college students, the young ministers of the gospel and a host of their
elders, courageously and nonviolently sitting in at lunch counters and
willingly going to jail for conscience’ sake. One day the South will know
that when these disinherited children of God sat down at lunch counters,
they were in reality standing up for what is best in the American dream and
for the most sacred values in our Judeo Christian heritage, thereby bringing
our nation back to those great wells of democracy which were dug deep by the
founding fathers in their formulation of the Constitution and the Declaration
of Independence.
Never before have I written so long a letter. I’m afraid it is much too long
to take your precious time. I can assure you that it would have been much
shorter if I had been writing from a comfortable desk, but what else can one
do when he is alone in a narrow jail cell, other than write long letters,
think long thoughts and pray long prayers?
If I have said anything in this letter that overstates the truth and indicates
an unreasonable impatience, I beg you to forgive me. If I have said anything
that understates the truth and indicates my having a patience that allows me
to settle for anything less than brotherhood, I beg God to forgive me.
I hope this letter finds you strong in the faith. I also hope that circumstances
will soon make it possible for me to meet each of you, not as an integrationist
or a civil-rights leader but as a fellow clergyman and a Christian brother.
Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away
and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear drenched
communities, and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love
and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating
beauty.
Yours for the cause of Peace and Brotherhood, Martin Luther King, Jr.
Published in: Martin Luther King Speeches in the Public Domain. MLK Online > Speeches > The
Martin Luther King Jr. Public Domain Resource Site
King, Martin Luther Jr.

28
Writing
Writing in English Writ- ing in an inArgumentative
English Writing Essay
Applying Process Strategies to Writing and Argument
Getting Started
Before you read and work on the exercises in this chapter, return to Chapters 14 and 15 in
Section Four to review the characteristics of good writing and procedures in the writing process.
When you have a topic, you will need to determine how much you know about the topic and
read up on it to get information, to determine whether others have written about it and to assess
their views. You need to think critically about the material you read, using the strategies we have
suggested in the foregoing chapters. As you assess the information you gather, you can begin to
jot down your ideas, using clustering or any of the invention strategies presented in Chapter 15
to generate and organise your ideas.
Clustering will help you to see those ideas that make a case for the claim, and thus can be linked,
and those that are opposing. You can use your cluster to begin to plan the essay. The exploration
and organisation you do at this stage will also help you to begin to formulate a thesis statement
which will express the position you want to argue in relation to the topic. Let us suppose, as an
example, the topic you are asked to consider is “The cell phone revolution;” you may decide to
focus on the benefits of the cell phone and its contribution to making communication easier or
you may decide to take a more limited perspective and focus on the cell phone as a distracting
element for students in school.
You may also use free-writing to get started, in which case, before you begin to read up on
sources, you can write down what you know about the topic. Free-writing will give you an idea
of how much you know about the subject and you can determine how much more reading and
research you need to do.
Application: Prewriting
1. Assume that the topic you are asked to write about is “The cell phone revolution.” List
some sources that you can use to get reliable information about the cell phone.
2. Do a search on the Internet for views posted about the cell phone.
3. Return to the ideas you generated in your free-writing session and, based on information
you have gathered, begin to organise and shape them to form the skeleton of your essay.
•
Writing an Argumentative Essay 361
Audience and Purpose

In the section on Audience in Chapter 15, we discussed the importance of shaping your writing
for an audience as that would determine the approach you take, your choice of language, and
the level of formality you would use in the essay. Since you are going to be required to write for
academic purposes at university, you will need to practice writing essays or papers which require
specific approaches. For example, you will be expected to cite your sources carefully, indicating
each source specifically, using the recommended format for citation (APA /MLA), depending
on the requirements of your particular Faculty. You will also be required to use a formal tone
and use the language that is specific to your discipline. Articles for a general educated audience
and which are likely to appear in the local newspaper or a popular magazine will be less formal in
tone; the language will be more accessible to the lay person and you can refer to the source in the
body of the text without giving an elaborate citation as an end note or footnote. The academic
paper requires special features.
There are several questions you can ask yourself as you prepare to write. In an earlier chapter
we addressed the notion of your teacher as your audience, but you need to think more broadly
than this and consider an audience of your peers, for example. You can ask yourself what this
audience may already know about the topic, what they may not know and what they may wish
to know. This will give you some ideas about the details you will need to include and the tone
of your argument. Some idea about the general beliefs your audience holds about the topic will
determine how you present your argument. You can assume that not everyone will share the
point of view that you are going to present, but at least there may be some common or shared
views that you can refer to and present as a shared belief. However, you will need to ask why
some of your readers have opposite views to those for which you are going to make a case,
and what are the arguments they may advance to support their views. This will allow you to
anticipate the opposing or counterarguments and address them in your essay. Let us again turn
to the topic of the cell phone. Recently, in some countries in the Caribbean, there were calls
for the cell phone to be banned in secondary schools because they allegedly distracted students
from their work. Can you think of any counterarguments that can be presented? Is there some
middle ground that can be considered to mitigate an outright ban? You need to consider the
various arguments that may be presented for and against the thesis or the claim you will defend.
Organising and Drafting

You have gone through the invention process and generated ideas, done some free-writing and
you have checked relevant sources on the Internet and in the library, and you have a better
understanding of views for and against the topic. Based on your own reasoning about the topic,
you formulate a thesis statement which you are going to defend in your essay. The thesis or the
claim will embody the major point you are going to make in the essay and it will indicate the
position you are going to argue. For example, if you are going to focus on the cell phone issue,
you may come up with a thesis that states “Banning cell phones in schools limits the possibilities
for learning” or “Cell phones can be a valuable asset to teaching and learning in school” or “Cell
phones are disruptive in classrooms and should be prohibited in schools.” The point is that the
thesis statement must be clear; it should indicate your purpose and suggest the line of argument
you are going to take.
Having determined the thesis for your argument, you need to consider the general organisation
of the essay. We discussed the basic structure of an academic essay in Section Four and this is
also applicable to argument. You need an introduction in which you present your thesis and the
key issue. In your earlier reading you will have noted that writing is a recursive process so you
may need to revisit paragraphs you have already written. Sometimes you may need to return to
the introduction after you have written the essay to refine it. But for starters, you need to set out
some introductory points to the piece. The following chart provides some guidelines that will
help you with organisation.
Essay (Beginning) Points for Inclusion

Introduction (opening • State your thesis or present
paragraph) your claim; what is the major
point you are making? Is it
clearly stated?
• Present the problem
• Provide enough background
information for your readers
(audience) to understand the
issue and the claim you are
making.
• Define important terms
In Chapter 16 we presented examples of good opening paragraphs and the rhetorical strategies
you can use in the opening paragraphs. The opening paragraph is the reader’s first encounter
with your thought on the subject. The way in which you express these thoughts will determine
whether the reader will want to continue reading the essay. Try to capture your readers’ attention
by writing opening paragraphs that are interesting and effective. Some writers find the opening
paragraph or the introduction one of the more difficult ones to write but there is no hard and
fast rule which says you must write it first. As we said before, writing is a recursive process and
you can return to the opening paragraph to revise and refine it after you have written others or
the whole essay.
Rhetorical Strategies for Opening Paragraphs

There are several rhetorical strategies you can use in your opening paragraphs. Review those
presented in Chapter 16.
An interesting quotation incorporated in your opening sentence can introduce an element of

surprise that compels the reader to continue reading. Consider the following opening paragraph.
America’s prisons have been called “graduate schools for crime.” It stands to
reason: Take a group of people, strip them of possessions and privacy, expose
them to constant threats of violence, overcrowd their cellblock, deprive
them of meaningful work – and the result is an embittered underclass more
intent on getting even with society than on contributing to it. Prisons take
the nonviolent offender and make him live by violence. They take the violent
offender and make him a hardened killer.
(Source - Charles Colson, “Crime and Restitution”, The Policy Review, Heritage Foundation, 214
Massachusetts Ave, NE.Washington DC).
What makes the quotation interesting (note the analogy), and how does the rest of the paragraph
substantiate the point being made?
The following example is one which incorporates some humour directed by the author at himself.
The reader begins to read what appears to be an anecdote but notices that the circumstances
described by the writer should not be taken literally. But the metaphor- if it can be so considered
– aptly describes the position in which the writer finds himself for espousing a particular point
of view.
Lately I’ve been finding myself in stocks. I wish it were the Dow Jones
variety, but it’s not. It’s the scaffolding variety. You are all familiar
with that medieval instrument of torture in which your head and hands are
clamped tight and you’re placed on a wooden scaffolding and exposed to public
ridicule. Generally you get a lot of garbage thrown at you.
The point of this predicament is made clear in the paragraph immediately following.
Actually that description of my punishment is more metaphorical than real.
I’ve simply been on the wrong end of a number of intellectual freedom
debates. As far as I know, I’m the only person in the library profession
who publicly espouses the cause of censorship, which makes me something of
an aberrant or as a zoologist might say, “the only one left in captivity.”
(Source - Will Manley, “Facing the Public”. Wilson Library Bulletin, February 1987.
Reprinted in Censorship: Opposing Viewpoints, Lisa Orr (Ed.) Greenhaven Press.)
In another type of opening, the writer wades directly into the argument, presenting the position
emphatically as in the following example.
For those who still don’t know – let me emphatically state that cigarette
smoking is a true addiction, more powerful than a dependence on alcohol,
heroin or cocaine. To grasp this well-documented fact, one really doesn’t
have to study all the supporting scientific evidence. One simply needs to
consider that no other drug is self-administered with the persistence,
regularity and frequency of a cigarette. At an average rate of ten puffs
per cigarette, a one to three pack-a-day smoker inhales 70,000 to 200,000
individual doses of mainstream smoke during a single year. Ever since its
large-scale industrial production early in this century, the popularity of
the modern cigarette has been spreading like wildfire. Here is the first and
perhaps the most significant answer to the question [What’s in a cigarette?]:
Addiction is in a cigarette.
(Source - K.H.Ginzel, “What’s in a Cigarette,” Priorities... Fall 1990, The American Council on
Science and Health).
The vigour of the discussion draws the reader directly into the analysis of the thesis which he
immediately supports with statistics.
The use of a question can be another interesting beginning

“What do you think would happen if, every time a woman wore a fur coat in
public, no one thought she looked beautiful? What if, whenever she walked
down the street, she got disapproving glances instead of admiring looks?
What if, whenever this woman asked acquaintances how they liked her new
fur, they averted their eyes, shook their heads, and said nothing? What if
someone finally said, “How can a coat made of animals who suffered and died
be beautiful?”
Do you think this woman would wear her fur coat in public again? Would she
buy another fur coat?
(Source - The Humane Society of the United States. “Close-up Report: Fur Shame”, October 1988.)
You will need to decide what would be the best type of opening for your argument. To some
extent, that will depend on your purpose and your audience. Remember, you can always return
to the opening or introductory paragraph to amend it and ensure that it is the most appropriate
opening for the argument you have developed.
Application: Introductory Paragraph

Consider the following three statements about cell phones that we generated earlier. Select
one of them and write an opening paragraph for your selection, using one of the strategies for
openings we discussed.
a) Banning cell phones in schools limits possibilities for students’ learning.
b) Cell phones can be a valuable asset to teaching and learning in school.
c) Cell phones are disruptive in classrooms and should be prohibited in schools.

•
Writing the Main Part of the Argument
In drafting the body of the argument, you need to elaborate on key issues and present the
evidence that will support the case you are presenting. This is where you pay special attention
to the form of the argument, to logos, provide evidence to support your argument and use the
appeals that will convince your readers of the merit of your claim. In the body of the essay,
you need to be concerned not only about the arguments and support you are presenting but
also the structure of the arguments as well as the structure of your paragraphs and the flow of
ideas between the paragraphs. The following chart provides the points you need to address in
the body of the argument.
Essay (Body) Points for Inclusion
CONTENT – Supporting • Present significant reasons to support your claim

Material • Select from among the various types of evidence those
that will most appropriately support your argument e.g.
facts, statistics, expert opinion, examples, illustrations
• Address any implicit assumptions
• Use logical and emotional appeals that will help you
to present a strong argument
• Check your arguments to ensure that they are logical
• Anticipate opposing views that may be presented
and present points that treat the counterargument(s)
effectively
Writing Conclusions
The closing paragraphs should bring the argument to a satisfactory conclusion. The reader should
feel that you have argued the issues effectively and thoroughly and should end with a sense that
your argument was sound. Review the examples of closing paragraphs given in Chapter 16. The
strategies suggested in that chapter can all be used effectively in closing paragraphs. Try to end
the argument strongly and restate the pertinent points that you wish to emphasise. The chart
below reviews the points for good closing paragraphs.
Essay (Body) Points for Inclusion
CONCLUSION • Close the argument strongly

• You may raise a pertinent question about
the points you presented
• You may summarise some main points to
emphasise them particularly or
• You may point to a desirable resolution
Application: Conclusions
Read the following examples of closing paragraphs. The opening paragraphs for three of these
articles were presented in the previous section. Re-read the relevant opening paragraph and then
read the closing paragraph. In each case assess and explain their effectiveness (or lack thereof).
1. Conclusion to the argument on cigarettes by K.H.Ginzel, “What’s in a Cigarette”

Priorities... Fall 1990, The American Council on Science and Health.
In summary, no drug ever ingested by humans can rival the long-term debilitating effects
of tobacco; the carnage perpetuated by its purveyors; the merciless irreversibility of
destiny once the victim contracts lung cancer or emphysema; the militant denial on the
part of those who, with the support of stock holders and the sanction of governments,
legally push their lethal merchandise across borders and continents killing every year two
and one-half to three million people worldwide. All things added together: death is in a
cigarette.
• What effect does the writer gain by the closing phrase? How does this compare
with the writer’s opening paragraph?
• Note the use of summary in the paragraph. What effect on the reader does this
have? Do you consider this to be a good technique?
2. This is the closing paragraph of the argument by Charles Colson.
Crime is the result of morally responsible people making wrong moral decisions, for
which they must be held accountable. The just and necessary response to such behaviour
is punishment, which may include restitution for community service, stiff fines, or, in
cases where the offender is dangerous, prison. But let’s not kid ourselves any longer.
Prison isn’t to cure the individual. It’s to lock him up.
3. This is the closing paragraph for the article “Fur-Shame”...
In addition to the 17 million wild animals trapped for their fur each year in the United
States, an estimated 5 million so-called “trash animals” – including domestic animals and
unwanted wild species are accidentally trapped and thrown away. Included in this figure
are thousands of endangered or threatened species such as bald eagles and grizzly bears.
All this agony, all this waste – for what? You should be ashamed to wear fur!
Revising and Editing

•
After you have written the draft you will need to go over it, to revise and edit. At this stage you
need to check for the soundness of the logic and the validity of the arguments as well as the
fluency of the argument, the structure of the paragraphs, and the grammar and mechanics. Use
your pencil freely to amend sentences, strike out information that is not relevant, add examples
that will strengthen your case, refine the thesis if necessary, ensure that you have a strong closing
and check for the stylistic appropriateness and grammatical accuracy.
Another area that is important in all forms of writing but which can affect the overall presentation
of an argument is the tone of the writer, or the way in which the writer presents himself or herself,
that is, the tone and voice of the writer that comes through as you read and also the personality
of the writer or what Aristotle referred to as the “ethos” or the “character” of the writer. You
are more likely to impress your readers if you present yourself as being knowledgeable and
informed about the subject you are writing about and if you are honest in your presentation.
Your tone, choice of words, your attitude to the subject matter, the audience and yes, yourself,
convey an overall impression about you as a writer. Let us refer to the following example which
we used earlier.
Lately I’ve been finding myself in stocks. I wish it were the Dow Jones
variety, but it’s not. It’s the scaffolding variety. You are all familiar
with that medieval instrument of torture in which your head and hands are
clamped tight and you’re placed on a wooden scaffolding and exposed to public
ridicule. Generally you get a lot of garbage thrown at you.
Actually that description of my punishment is more metaphorical than real.

I’ve simply been on the wrong end of a number of intellectual freedom
debates. As far as I know, I’m the only person in the library profession
who publicly espouses the cause of censorship, which makes me something of
an aberrant or as a zoologist might say, “the only one left in captivity.”
(Source - Will Manley, “Facing the Public”. Wilson Library Bulletin, February 1987.
Reprinted in Censorship: Opposing Viewpoints, Lisa Orr (Ed.) Greenhaven Press.)
The impression we get of Manley’s persona is that he can make fun of himself, engage his
reader in some humour at his expense, but he also presents himself as honest, thoughtful and
clever. His use of the image of himself in stocks, as the recipient of criticism for his position
on censorship evokes some sympathy for him from the reader, but at the same time, he asserts
the claim he wants to make.
Application: Tone and Ethos of the Writer

Examine the following extracts and in each case comment on the tone and ethos of the writer.
Focus on such aspects as the choice of words, the expressions used and the argument presented.
1. I want to propose a partial solution to the crime problem – one that will
help strengthen informal social controls and perhaps change the thinking
of some who may be only beginning to commit criminal acts. I propose
that we T.H.I.N.K. (Tell Him/Her It’s Not Kool). In many cases we do
know of criminal activity in our midst but we ignore it. Why don’t we
get involved in the crime problem by anonymously informing the offender
that we do not think his/her behaviour is “Kool” (appropriate)? We can
send that person a T.H.I.N.K. card that suggests that there are persons
who do not approve of his behaviour and that the self that he thinks he
is projecting is not consistent with how others perceive him.
(Source - William Wilbanks, “You Can Do Something About Crime... You Can T.H.I.N.K.”
In Crime and Criminals, William Dudley (Ed.) Greenhaven Press, 1989, p. 140.)
2. For those who feel that we should be purists and remove all zoos from our
civilisation, let me state a few brutal facts. The human population of
Africa is doubling with every generation. This means that in 60 years’
time, when our children have reached retiring age, the wild animals of
Africa will have only a quarter of the space they now enjoy. And so it
will go on until Africa, like Europe, will have nearly eliminated all
its large fauna. Similar trends will occur elsewhere in the world. The
wild places everywhere will, by then, have shrunk to the size of, dare I
say it, large zoos. In a few centuries, wild animals will survive only
in zoos, because that is all the space they will have left, anywhere.
So perhaps we should start now to plan our “ideal zoos” rather than be
emotional about the concept of captivity.
(Source - Desmond Morris, BBC Wildlife, December 1987. In “Zoos are Necessary for Animal
Conservation” by Jon R. Luoma. Animal Rights: Opposing Viewpoints. Greenhaven Press, 1989,
p.149.).
3. Stories of persons with AIDS must not become occasions for stereotyping
or prejudice, for anger or recrimination, for rejection or isolation,
for injustice or condemnation. They provide us with an opportunity to
walk with those who are suffering, to be compassionate toward those whom
we might otherwise fear, to bring strength and courage both to those who
face the prospect of dying as well as to their loved ones.
(Source - “The Many Faces of AIDS: A Gospel Response”. US Catholic Conference Administrative
Board. In AIDS: Opposing Viewpoints, Michael Biskup and Karin Swisher (Eds.) Greenhaven Press,
1992, p,71.).
A careful revision of your writing will help you to discover gaps in the ideas you presented and
errors you may not have noticed during drafting. It also allows you to focus more closely on the
quality of the ideas you have presented and on the organisation of the paper.
Proofreading
•
After you have revised the essay, it is good practice to return to it and proofread to ensure
that you have considered all the important aspects of content, structure, style, grammar and
mechanics. As you become a critical reader of your own writing you will find that you will
become a better writer.
The following chart provides some guides for checking the structural and stylistic aspects of an
argument.
Essay (Structure) Points for Inclusion

STRUCTURE • Check to determine that your argumentative essay
has an introduction, a body and a conclusion
• Check for paragraph organization
• Check to determine that the analytical points are
organised logically
• Check to ensure that you have used appropriate
transitions between paragraphs and discourse
markers between sentences
STYLE • Check to determine if the writing is fluent
• Check to determine if the writing is clear and
coherent
• Check for appropriate tone
Essay (Structure) Points for Inclusion

LANGUAGE • Check for use of appropriate and effective
discourse markers and logical connectives:
therefore, so, thus, it follows, hence, consequently,
as a result
• Illustration: Consider, for instance, for example,
to illustrate
• Summary: to summarise, in summary, in short,
to sum up, finally, thus
• Compare/amplify: similarly, likewise, just as,
further, furthermore
• Emphasis: Indeed, more/most important,
primarily
• Contrast ideas: whereas, nevertheless, on the
other hand, but, in contrast, on the contrary,
however
GRAMMAR & • Check to ensure that sentences are well formed
MECHANICS • Check for the accuracy of your grammar
TONE & ETHOS • Is the tone of the writer courteous and
respectful?
• Does the writer seem to be knowledgeable and
informed about the subject?
• What is the attitude presented towards the
subject, the audience and also the writer?
Sharing and Discussing Your Work/Peer Review

Sharing your work for purposes of discussing it and listening to others’ views (critiques) of it
will help you to focus on specifics that you may not have thought about before. Working in
small groups or pairs to discuss your work can be beneficial to you and your classmates and we
recommend it as an exercise you can engage in. The purpose of these discussions is to provide
constructive comments about each other’s work to give constructive feedback to each other
based on an objective reading of the work. Using guides for this purpose will help you to focus
on the main elements of writing that you should discuss. The discussions in the peer review
sessions allow the writer to hear the views of others about the work and to think about the
comments made. All in the group get the opportunity to work constructively on articles, read
and think critically about the articles and make comments that can help all the members of the
group focus on ways in which they can improve their writing.
We made up a checklist from the charts we presented in the chapter and framed the items
as questions which you may use during a peer review session. You may amend the list as
you determine and in discussion with your instructor after you review it. The guidelines are
presented on the following pages.
Peer Review Guidelines

Essay (Overall Points for Checking and Discussion
Considerations)
Audience • Does the writer keep the audience

in mind by defining terms, providing
sufficient and adequate examples for
clarification and illustrative purposes and
is the presentation clear and readable
overall?
Essay (Beginning) Points for Checking and Discussion
• Introduction (opening paragraph) Does

the writer state a thesis/make a claim?
• Is the main point in the thesis clearly
stated?
• Does the writer present the problem
clearly? Is it explained well?
• Does the writer provide enough
background information to present the
issue clearly and to support the claim?
• Does the writer define important
terms? Are the definitions adequate
and appropriate for the purposes of the
essay?
Essay (Body) Points for Checking and Discussion
CONTENT • Supporting Material: Has the writer

presented significant reasons to support
the claim that is being made?
• What types of evidence does the writer
present? Is the evidence appropriate
to support the argument being made?
(Types of possible evidence: facts,
statistics, expert opinion, examples,
illustrations)
• Does the writer make any explicit
assumptions? Are they reasonable
assumptions?
• Do you detect any implicit assumptions?
Does the writer indicate awareness of
these in any way, and are they adequately
addressed?
Techniques / Strategies • Is the reasoning sound?

• Does the writer use logical (logos)
appeals in presenting the argument?
• Does the writer use emotional appeals
that are appropriate and effective?
• Does the writer anticipate opposing
views and present points that treat
effectively with counterarguments that
may be presented?
Essay (Structure) Points for Checking and Discussion
STRUCTURE • Does the essay have an introduction, a

body and conclusion?
• Are the paragraphs well organized?
• Are appropriate transitions used to link
paragraphs fluently?
• Are the analytical points organised
logically?
• Does the writer use appropriate linking
words (discourse markers) between
sentences?
CONCLUSION • Does the essay end on a strong note?

• Does the writer point to a resolution
or use some strategy to strengthen the
argument that was presented?
• Language – Use appropriate and effective
discourse markers:
• Logical connectives: therefore, so, thus, it
follows, hence, consequently, as a result
• Illustration: Consider, for instance, for
example, to illustrate
• Summary: to summarise, in summary, in
short, to sum up, finally, thus
• Compare / amplify: similarly, likewise, just
as, further, furthermore
• Emphasis: Indeed, more /most important,
primarily
• Contrast ideas: whereas, nevertheless, on the
other hand, but, in contrast, on the contrary,
howeve.
GRAMMAR & • Check to ensure that your sentences are

MECHANICS well formed
• Check for accuracy of grammar
STYLE, TONE & ETHOS • Is the writing fluent?

• Is the writing clear and coherent?
• Is the tone of the writer courteous and
respectful (appropriate given the purpose
for writing)?
• Does the writer seem to be knowledgeable
and informed about the subject?
• What is the attitude presented towards
the subject, the audience and also the
writer?
Application: Peer Review

Using the guidelines given for peer review, read the following student essay, discuss the essay in
a small group and write comments that you would give to this student on her essay.
God Created Man...and the Media Created Women
Look in the mirror. If you are a woman, what do you see? A woman waxing
a floor? Feeding children? Spraying her hair? Scribbling on a steno pad?
Gazing at a man with mixed reverence and awe? The simple mirrors that
hang over bureaus and on the backs of closet doors only tell superficial
things about ourselves. The real-life mirrors are the media... (Komisar,
1971:304)
The media do not simply mirror the images of women in society. On the contrary,
they more often create these images and attach subjective values to them,
the negative or positive nature of which depends largely on the particular
motives of those who control what we see, hear and read. Although few Western
societies are governed by a totalitarian state, our perceptions can still be
seen as controlled in that the media are often highly selective of the images
they present to the public. In other cases the media may demonstrate a gross
irresponsibility, a damaging lack of discrimination in their treatment of
the concerns of a certain group in society leading to derision of or lack of
interest in their plight. Whether it is a deliberately calculated image or
one created due to a myopic, careless attitude, there can be little doubt
that the visual, audio and print media determine, to a large extent, what men
think about women and, above all, what women think about themselves.
The dissemination of information and ideas in our advanced technological

age has far outstripped the now comparatively feeble imaginings of Johannes
Guttenberg, but the basic principles remain the same: reach as many people
as possible, change, reinforce or develop their views. Advertising today
utilizes these principles to great effect; James Laver in The Changing Shape
of Things series on Dress shrewdly remarks that, “... we may dislike a new
fashion when first we see it, but once it is firmly established we find it
difficult to believe that anything very different ever completely pleased us”
(James Laver, 1950). In this indisputably billion-dollar industry, however,
it is not unusual to hear advertising corporations defend their ‘democratic
prerogative’ to project whatever images they consider will generate the
largest profit, by claiming that they are exploiting the present situation
and attitudes but are not to be blamed for their creation. This argument
is specious at best; no serious advertiser can operate on the premise of a
permanently static environment and a fixed consumer demand. The birth and
persistence of the many women’s movements over the centuries which rejected
and still reject the immutability of the traditional roles of women clearly
contradict this concept. If advertisers invariably target women when they
want to sell household cleaning equipment they are prolonging a mind-set
which says ’cleaning house is woman’s work’ and creating this very response
in the minds of children of both genders.
Similarly, the majority of car commercials on television are addressed to

a male audience. In Car and Driver magazine there is a distinct brand of
language-based sexism which excludes female participation in the ‘male’
pursuit of car appreciation and perpetuates damaging stereotypes of men and
women. To illustrate, John Phillips writes in his article Thrills and Agony:
the ERA GT: “The first thing tourists do when they encounter Michelangelo’s
Pieta is to touch it. Also, this is the first thing every male child attempts
when he encounters Stephanie Seymour or an ERA GT ....” (John Phillips,
1993:107. - my italics). Obviously this alienates women; it is showing them
where they belong (in the fantasies of young boys) and where they don’t
(touching an ERA GT with ‘male’ admiration).
The most common methods the media employ to create myths about women or to
ensure that a particular trend in female behaviour is followed, relate not
only to advertising but to journalism and film. In a recent newspaper article
a columnist opened with, “She’s attractive ... smart and she even likes
football and basketball.” (Sun on Saturday, 1993:21) (my italics). However,
the almost unconscious gender stereotyping in this article is innocuous when
compared to the images of women seen in films such as Basic Instinct, Sliver
and the apparently irrepressible pornographic movies. The roles for women in
film today are only slightly less negative and limited than those listed in
Molly Haskell’s book From Reverence to Rape. According to her, women in the
thirty year period between 1920 and 1950 were portrayed as:
Whores, quasi-whores, jilted mistresses,

Emotional cripples, daffy ingenues, Lolitas,
kooks, sex-starved spinsters, psychotics
She ends bitterly, saying, “Icebergs, zombies and ball breakers. That’s what
little girls of the sixties and seventies are made of.” (Molly Haskell, From
Reverence to Rape, 1973:327-328). Perhaps even more damning than this is the
personal account of the actress Demi Moore who claimed that in the movie A
Few Good Men, “...there’s no romantic relationship with Tom [Cruise]. We
don’t have to kiss-nothing. When this project was at Tri-Star in the previous
administration, they read the script and the first notes back to [screen-
writer] Aaron Sorkin were, ‘why is Jo [Moore’s character] female? She doesn’t
take her clothes off and there’s no love scene” (Nancy Gordon, 1993).

message which in the majority of cases seeks to undermine the advancement
of women in the world. All in all, it seems that the media have not got
the message sent by women - our progress means the progress of the human
race; we are equal partners in a changing world, not sex objects, bitches
and passive helpmates of men. After all, where would science be if all
Marie Curie could think about was serving her husband or curling her hair?
(Helen C. Year 1 paper)
References
“Fighting the Feeling.” In Sun on Saturday, October 23, 1993.

Gordon, Nancy. Interview, Table Talk, Premiere. Women in Hollywood, Special Issue, 1993.
Haskell, Molly (1973). From Reverence to Rape: The Treatment of Women in the Movies. New York:
Holt, Rinehart and Winston.
Komisar, L. 1971. “The image of women in advertising.” In V. Gornick and B. Moran (Eds.),
Woman in Sexist Society: Studies in Power and Powerlessness. New York: Basic Books, 1971,
p.304 cited by Matilda Butler, and William Paisley, Women and the Mass Media. New York:
Human Sciences, 1980. p. 148.
Laver, James (1950). The Changing Shape of Things: Dress. London: W.S. Cowell Ltd.
Lunsford, Andrea and John J. Ruszkiewicz. Everything’s an Argument, 2nd ed. New York: Bedford/
St. Martins, 2001.
Mayberry, Katherine J. For Argument’s Sake, 4th ed. New York: Addison Wesley Longman, 2002.
Paisley, William. (1980). Women and the Mass Media. New York. Human Sciences.
Phillips, John (1993). “Thrills and Agony: The ERA GT” In Car and Driver, Vol. 38:11, May 1993.
•
ASSIGNMENT
Choose one of the following topics and in an essay of 500 words write an argument to support
a claim which you make. If these topics do not appeal to you, discuss an alternative with your
instructor.
1. Ipad and Kindle versus paper books?

2. Cell phones have transformed our world.
3. Beauty contests should not be for females only.
4. The world beyond the age of computers.
5. Education and new age technology.
Suggestions for Further Reading

Lunsford, Andrea and John J. Ruszkiewicz. Everything’s an Argument, 2nd e. N.Y.: Bedford/St. Martins, 20012.
Maybeerry, J. For Argument’s Sake, 4th ed. N.Y.: Addison Wesley Longman, 2002.
White, Fred D. and Simone J. Billings. The Well-Crafted Argument: A Guide and Reader, 4th ed. Wadsworth
Publishing, 2010.
Section 7
Documenting Research
Chapter 29: Documenting Research
• What is Research?
• Why We Need to Document Research
• What to Document
• Library Resources
– Types of Resources
– Search Strategy
Chapter 30: Note Making from Written Sources

• Evaluating Sources
• Types of Sources
• Scanning Sources for Relevant Material
• Types of Notes
– Paraphrase
– Summary
– Direct Quotation
• Method of Note Making
– The Parts of a Note
– Conventions Concerning Titles
– Using Note Cards
– Avoiding Plagiarism
Chapter 31: Documentation formats

• Integrating Quotations within the Text
• The Modern Language Associate Format – MLA
• The Chicago Manual of Style Format – CMS
• Types of Notes
– Bibliography
– Parenthetical Citation and References/Bibliography Format
– Integrating Quotations within the Text
Chapter 32: The Research Process

• Choosing and Narrowing a Topic
• Preparing a Research Proposal
• Doing Research and Making a Working Bibliography
• Identifying Your Audience and Establishing a Purpose
• Developing a Tentative Thesis
• Making an Outline
• Drafting the Paper
• Revising and Editing the Paper
• Preparing the Bibliography
• Typing and Proofreading the Final Draft

This section outlines the research process from research to final draft as it relates to writing a
library research paper. Part of this process involves skills that have already been discussed in
Section Four on the writing process, so the focus here is on the skills involved in researching a
topic such as using the library, note making and documenting references.
Aims of the Section

1. make better use of the library’s resources;

2. make effective notes from written sources;
3. use your notes in your paper in acceptable ways, avoiding plagiarism;
4. document your use of other people’s material in the paper according to the Modern
Language; Association (MLA) style of documentation;
5. write a well-researched and documented paper.
29
Documenting Research
What is Research?
The word “research” itself gives you a clue as to what we do when we do research. The root
word is “search” and the prefix “re” means “again.” When we do research we search again and
again until we find the information we are looking for or the answer to a question. Generally
speaking, we have all been doing informal research all our lives. As children we explored the
world around us and learned that if we put our hands in fire it burns. When we are older and we
want to buy a car, we usually read consumer reports, check car dealerships and talk to our friends
about their cars before we make a decision. As a student, however, the kind of research we are
called on to conduct is formal research. In formal research we go through a sequential process:
we identify questions we need answered; we explore to find the answers; we make a record of
what we have found; we try to make sense of the information in order to reach conclusions and
we report what we have found.
The type of research we do depends on the nature of the information we are researching. There
are various levels of information in the world: easily accessible general information known
by most people; information that has been researched and reported on and that is available,
but we need to search to find it; and unexplored information/knowledge which is yet to be
researched. As a university undergraduate student, the type of knowledge you are usually called
on to research is the second type, which usually results in library research. The third type of
information is usually the province of graduate students and professional researchers. This type
of research is usually called original research and involves going beyond the library.
Why We Need to Document Research

Ideas are considered to belong to the person who first documents them. When you locate
information from library sources that has been discovered and documented by someone
(usually under copyright) and you use it in your research paper, copyright law requires that
you acknowledge the original source of that information. Another reason why you need to
acknowledge and document your sources is that readers of your research paper can evaluate
the credibility of these sources and judge whether your conclusions are valid and supported by
authoritative, reliable and unbiased evidence.
What to Document
All ideas, facts and opinions used in your paper that are not your own need to be documented.
Most students tend to believe that only direct quotes should be documented, but all material
that is not your own, whether paraphrased, summarised or quoted should be acknowledged. The
only kinds of information you do not need to acknowledge are the kinds known as common
knowledge or uncontested knowledge. Common knowledge is knowledge that is widely known
among educated people. Who the president of the United States is or that Shakespeare is the
author of Macbeth is of this type and need not be documented. Uncontested knowledge is not
necessarily common knowledge, but it nevertheless need not be documented. An example of
this type of knowledge would be the dates of historical events.
Library Resources
Types of Sources:
The main resources of an academic library are as follows: a reference section for books
that cannot be taken out of the library; a collection of periodicals (newspapers, magazines,
professional journals); a card catalogue and/or a computer catalogue, which lists all the material
available in the library; a section of books in circulation usually called ‘the stacks’ and special
collections. Most academic libraries also have electronic data bases which usually provide access
to articles in peer reviewed periodicals and journals. In researching a topic you may use only
some or all of these resources. Which ones you use will depend on the type of topic you are
researching and how much information is available on the topic.
Many of the books found in the reference section (such as dictionaries) are intended to provide
small pieces of information quickly: the definition of a term or the spelling of a word, for
instance. Others, such as encyclopaedias, give a general overview of broad topics and others,
such as indexes and bibliographies, help you find other sources of information on a topic. If
you have difficulty locating information in this section, there is usually a reference librarian who
can advise you.
The periodicals section is the place where you will find the most up-to-date information on
some topics, since current research on a topic is usually published first in scholarly journals. You
should check whether your library catalogues periodicals in a separate periodicals catalogue or in
the main card catalogue, or in an online database reference list. You need to check the relevant
catalogue to find out which journals the library subscribes to and which issues the library actually
has.
You are probably familiar with the online databases which provide you with information on
the resources that are available in the library. With the development of technology more search
resources are now available online and you should check these. You can also check the card
catalogue which is a useful alternative resource. You can do your preliminary search online or in
the part of the card catalogue listed under ‘subject’ or that listed under ‘author/title.’ You should
Documenting Research 381
familiarise yourself with the classification system of your library (Dewey decimal system or
Library of Congress system). Knowing the system will tell you where to find particular subject
areas in the open stacks and browsing in the stacks can sometimes be a very productive exercise
in your search.
The Search Strategy

Before you begin to search for sources on a topic, you should have an idea of where you are
going to begin looking and what sequence you are going to follow after that. It is a good strategy
to start with the more general sources and move to the more specific. Encyclopaedias are a good
place to start your search, since they give you an overview of the topic in articles often written
by experts in the field. These articles may also carry bibliographies which can direct you to other
sources. Using only encyclopaedias as your sources when you are asked to do research at the
tertiary level, however, is not good enough, because the resulting paper will be too general and
superficial.
In practice, you will often find that whatever sequence you plan, it is often necessary to backtrack
to resources you have already checked, to go back to the card catalogue, for instance. Always
keep a record of your progress, noting sources you have checked and whether they have proved
useful or not. Here is a list you can use to help you plan a search strategy. Depending on your
topic, and the length of the research paper you have to write, not all of these steps may be
necessary in a particular search.
• Find and read articles in general encyclopaedias and specialised reference books.
• Make source cards for books and articles from those sources which seem promising.
• Consult the list of subjects in your library’s cataloguing system and identify relevant
subject areas.
• Do an online search to find out what relevant materials are available in the online
resources and record any promising sources.
• Consult the card catalogue and record titles and call numbers of promising books.
• Check out the books you have sourced so far.
• Check the bibliographies of these books for other possible sources.
• Browse the stacks in the appropriate subject area.
• Consult other book catalogues and bibliographies for additional sources.
• Consult general periodical indexes for magazines and newspapers in the library and
online.
• Explore specialised periodical indexes for scholarly journals.
• Find out which periodicals are in your library and locate the ones of interest to you.
• Make a card for each source using an appropriate bibliographic style.
For a short research paper in your first year, it may be adequate to locate a couple of encyclopaedia
articles in the reference section to begin your search, then do an online search, consult the card
catalogue, browse the stacks and finally locate a couple of recent journal articles on your topic.
For a longer and more in-depth research paper in your third year, however, you may want to
search all possible resource areas.
30
Writing inNote Making
English Writing from
in English Written
Writing Sources
After choosing your topic for research, the next step is to do some research and make notes.
The biggest problem with note making from sources is that you can waste a great deal of time
reading material that you do not end up using. This is likely to happen if you have only a broad
general topic when you begin your research. In order to avoid this, you might first have to do
some preliminary reading, perhaps in an encyclopedia, to give yourself some sense of the scope
of your topic. You should then narrow your topic to match the length of the paper you are
required to write and create a specific research question you want to answer before you begin
researching in earnest. In addition to a research question, you might also create a tentative thesis,
which would be subject to change as you go through the research process but would keep your
research focused (see Section Four).
If your instructor has allowed you to choose your own topic to research, he/she may ask you
to write a one-page research proposal identifying your topic, to say why you have chosen this
topic, to present your narrowed research question, and, if possible at this time, to create a
working thesis. You are sometimes required to say what you already knew about the topic before
researching it, what you have found out so far through your preliminary research, and what else
you need to find out through further research. Your instructor will usually give you feedback on
this proposal and let you know whether your topic is a viable one to research or not.
After your research topic has been approved, the next step is to begin researching in earnest,
making notes of the information you might use in your paper. In the act of making notes,
you are not only recording information, but you are also selecting, analysing and interpreting
this material. It is important to make a note of the source and page references of the original
because you must include this information in your list of references in case you use it in your
paper. You need to decide as you are reading over the material what is likely to be important
and/or relevant to your particular question. In this regard, it is better to take more notes than
you will actually need than to realise later that some material that you decided not to take down
was important. On the other hand, you should not rely solely on the duplicating machine to do
your note making for you. Certainly duplicating is useful if you want to check the accuracy of
your quotations or spend more time with materials such as periodical articles or reference book
material, both of which cannot be taken out of the library. However, you will still need to make
notes from these later before incorporating any paraphrased material into your paper. The same
goes for material from the Internet or electronic databases available in your library.
Evaluating Sources
Having found a source that appears to be worth your time and effort and that is relevant to
your thesis, before you begin making notes from it, especially if, at a glance, it seems to contain
important material, you should try to find out how reliable the source is. Below are two lists of
questions you can try to answer about your sources. One list is for all sources and the other is
specifically for Internet sources. At least some of these questions should be answered about all
sources, and all of them should be answered for your major sources.
All Sources
• Is it up-to-date information or information that has been superseded?
• Is the source from a respected journal or publisher?
• What are the author’s credentials? (Sometimes this information can be found on the title
page of the book. Otherwise, you might check with the librarian about where to locate
this information.)
• Does the language of the source show any bias?
• If there seems to be bias by the author, will that affect objectivity?
• Is the source from a book or a journal that is peer-reviewed or refereed?
• Is the source adequately documented with evidence such as facts, observations, surveys
or experiments rather than with unsupported and emotional opinions?
• Does the source present a balanced view of the argument, acknowledging and addressing
counterarguments?
• Are statistics used fairly and sources given?
• Are there logical fallacies in the source’s argument?
Anyone, from a reputable scholar to a secondary school student, can publish on the Internet.
Consequently, you have to be especially careful about whether your Internet sources are reliable
and credible. Please note in this regard that online databases subscribed to by your university
are reliable academic sources because the material offered there has been written by reputable
authors and are from refereed journals. Using this resource, therefore, saves you having to
evaluate the sources yourself.
Internet Sources
All questions from the above list, as well as the following.
Note Making from Written Sources 385
• Is the website a hidden advertisement for a product or service? Checking the URL
of the website might help you here. A .com site is a for-profit source, a .gov site is a
governmental source, a .edu site is an educational source, and a .org site is a non-profit
organisation source. In general, stay away from .com sites as sources.
• If the source is a .org source, find out which organisation sponsors the website. Is this
organisation likely to have a biased view?
• Is there an identifiable author? If there is no author given, there is no way of checking
credentials, so this type of source should not be used unless it is from a reputable
organisation or publisher.
• Are the author’s credentials given? Can they be checked?
• Is the author a student? Do not use students as sources, only experts in their field.
• Has the information on the website been updated recently?
• Is the writer’s tone highly emotional rather than calm and reasonable?
• Are references or links given for the supporting evidence? If not, the source is suspect.
• Do you suspect errors of fact? If so, cross-check the information with sources that you
know are reputable.
• Is the writing sloppy and full of grammatical errors? If it is, the credibility of the source
is questionable.
Types of Sources
In doing research on a topic, there are two kinds of evidence you may consult. One type is called
primary evidence and the other secondary evidence. Primary evidence consists of eyewitness evidence
and the writings of actual participants in an event. This type of source would therefore include
letters, diaries, autobiographical writings and essays, and poetry and fiction which reflect the
conditions of the age. Reports of original experimental research in the natural sciences and
social sciences are also primary evidence.
Secondary evidence is interpretation of this primary evidence by researchers and commentators.

Secondary sources therefore include articles within periodicals and books, books, theses,
dissertations and other writings that interpret and evaluate eyewitness and other primary
evidence. At this stage in your academic career, you will probably be consulting mostly secondary
evidence. Primary evidence becomes more important in research at the postgraduate level.
Scanning Sources for Relevant Material

In order to find out if a book has material that is relevant to your topic, you should scan it
before beginning to read. You can use the contents and index sections of the book to do this.
The contents section is basically an outline of the topics and subtopics covered in the book. A
check of it can tell you if the topic you are interested in is dealt with in the book and at what
point in the book. If your topic is very specific and is not likely to be found in the headings and
subheadings of the contents section, then the index section might be of help in checking if it
is covered in the book at all. Another technique that gives you an idea of what a book is about
without reading the book from cover to cover is reading the summary paragraphs at the end of
each chapter if the book is organised in this way. If not, reading the first and last paragraphs of
each chapter might give you a good idea of what the book covers.
Types of Notes
After finding material that is relevant to your topic, there are three types of notes you can make
of the material: paraphrase it, summarise it, or copy it word-for-word as a possible quotation in
your final paper.
Paraphrase
In a paraphrase, you reword what the author said by putting it into your own words, making sure
to retain the author’s original meaning. A paraphrase is therefore not necessarily shorter than the
original. Because a paraphrase should be in your own words, it should be written from memory
and not taken directly from the source. Writing it directly from the source tempts you to use the
words of the author. Using the exact words of the author without quoting them is not a legal
way of documenting material. If you use even three or four consecutive words from the original
source, you need to put those words in quotation marks. In addition to using your own words,
you should also change the sentence structure of the original to avoid plagiarism.
One reason for using a paraphrase is to rephrase a point that is expressed in difficult or complex
language so your reader will more easily understand the point being made. Make sure you do not
change the meaning of the original in the process. Here is a sample paraphrase of a paragraph
to give you an idea of what a paraphrase looks like in practice:
Passage
The utterances of language, in general, are considered in isolation for
analytical purposes, because the policy of science is to divide and conquer,
but one cannot lose sight of the intimacies and interconnections of all
phases of cultural life and the enormous importance of a wise synthesis
of human experience. A sentence, no less than each of its parts, is a
creature of social convention and part of a larger and grander sociocultural
perspective.
(Source - Herbert Landar, Language and Culture)

Paraphrase
Because scientific analysis involves breaking a thing down into its constituent
parts in order to analyse it, the sentences of a language are broken down into
their constituent parts and these are studied in isolation. But important
cultural lessons can be missed if we do not also look at the interconnections
among the parts as well as the sentence as a whole, which itself mirrors and
is part of a larger sociocultural environment.
(Source - Herbert Landar, Language and Culture)
Summary
In a summary, you only give the main points and the important supporting points and you
leave out the specific details. In short, you give only the gist of the passage. The summary of
a passage, therefore, is always shorter than the original passage. Here again, the note should be
written from memory since a summary should be expressed in your own words. The skill of
summarising material is such an important one in the academic world that we discuss the process
in detail in Section Eight. If your skills in this area need upgrading, check Section Eight, Chapter
33, for further discussion of the process of summarising a passage and a sample summary.
Direct Quotation
The third type of note you can make from written sources is a direct quotation. When making a
direct quotation note, you copy exactly what the author said, even if you recognise mistakes of
grammar or spelling in the extract. To be sure you know later that the note is a direct quotation,
you should use quotation marks when copying the note or in some way indicate that it is a direct
quotation.
In the matter of what to quote, quote material only when you cannot put a statement into your
own words without a substantial loss of meaning, or when an author has summed up his/her
main point so clearly and succinctly that you could not state it in any other way without loss of
impact.
Method of Note Making

Parts of a Note
When making notes, it is important to record all the information you will need if you later use
the note in your essay and have to document it. Depending on the type of source, the following
is information you need to record in order to keep track of your source material. Make sure you
record this information before relinquishing your source.
Book (Print)
• Author’s name
• Title and subtitle of book
• Edition or volume number
• Place of publication
• Name of publisher
• Date of publication
• Page number of passage from which note was made
• Medium of publication: Print
Print Periodical Article

• All authors
• Title and subtitle of article
• Title of magazine, journal or newspaper
• Date
• Volume
• Issue
• Page numbers of article (beginning and ending)
• Specific page number of note
• Medium of publication: Print
Electronic Database Article

• Same as for print periodicals given above, and
• Name of database and an item number
• URL of the subscription service
• Library where you retrieved the source
• Medium of publication: Web
• Date you retrieved the source
Web Sources
• All authors, editors or creators of source
• Editor of the website (if any)
• Title and subtitle of work

• Title of Web site
• Publisher or sponsor of the site (if any)
• Page or paragraph number if available
• Date of online publication or latest update
• The site’s URL
• Medium of publication: Web
• Date you accessed the source
There are so many different types of websites, it is a good idea to check a recent publisher’s
handbook for the information you need to record for the various types.
When you actually make the note from your source, you should always remember to record the
page number of the source from which the note was taken. This is very important because you will need
the page number when documenting your citation in the text of your paper. Remembering to
do this when you make your note can save you having to go back to the library to search for the
passage again just to find the page number. This is especially important with hard copy print
sources such as books. The source may not be in the library when you go back.
Conventions Concerning Titles

The conventions about which titles are italicised and which titles are quoted apply to titles used
in the text of your paper as well as titles used in works-cited lists and bibliographies. For long
works, underlining is an alternative option to italics in the CMS style of documentation, but
italics is the preferred option in MLA and APA styles of documentation. The titles of published
books, plays, long poems, pamphlets, periodicals, newspapers, magazines, works of classical
literature, films, radio and television programmes, ballets, operas, instrumental music, paintings,
sculpture, and names of ships and aircraft are italicised. But titles of short works such as articles;
essays; short stories; short poems; songs; chapters of books; unpublished works such as theses,
even though of book length; lectures and speeches; course notes; and individual episodes of
radio and television programmes are put in double quotation marks.
Using Note Cards

Writing your notes on note cards is often recommended as the most effective method of note
making. It is best to use one note card for the complete information needed to document your
sources (listed above), and another note card for the actual paraphrased, summarised or quoted
note. A cross reference should be made to the card with the source information by noting the
author’s name on the card with the actual note. If you can also indicate what aspect of the topic
the note is about, this can be of assistance to you when you come to organise your paper. As
mentioned already, you should also remember to record the page number of the passage from
which the note was made. It is also a good idea to make a record of whether your note is a
quotation (Q), a paraphrase (P), a summary (S), or your own original idea (MI). You should also
follow the conventions about titles when you are writing up your cards. Here are two sample
cards, one with the reference information and a cross-referenced one with the actual note:
Authors: Figueroa, Peter M. E. and Ganga Persaud
Title: Sociology of Education
Place of publication.: Oxford
Publisher: Oxford University Press
Year of pub.: 1976
Type of Source - Print
FIGUEROA - p. 47 (Q)
“... because the educational system is an agent, even where

it is seen to facilitate changes in the order, it is merely
facilitating and perpetuating changes that have already been
created in the social order by economic, political or other
means.”
Re: Relationship of education to social change
The logic behind using note cards is that the ones with the reference sources will help you when
you are compiling your works cited list or bibliography after you have written your paper. This
list has to be alphabetised. If you have a long list of citations, the ability to shuffle the cards saves
a great deal of time in this exercise. The cards with the actual notes may also help you when you
come to organise your paper. You can sort your cards into groups according to the subsections
of your topic, for example: definitions, present uses, projected uses, and so forth. To be able to
use the cards in this way, you should only put one note on a card.
Instead of making your notes on cards, you may prefer to use the computer to record your notes.
The information you need to record and the format of the bibliographic information as well as
the actual note is the same. You should keep a computer file for your notes (hard drive or travel
drive) as well as a backup hard copy. The advantage of this way of making notes is that when
you are writing your paper, you can cut and paste your notes into it instead of retyping them.
Avoiding Plagiarism
Plagiarism is the appropriation of another writer’s words and/or ideas without acknowledging
that you have “borrowed” them, thus suggesting that they are your own. One example of this
type is unacknowledged borrowing of parts of your paper. However, it also refers to handing
in as your own work a complete paper bought from an Internet site or a paper written by
a friend or another student. Intentional plagiarism is an act of dishonesty and authors are
protected from this type of plagiarism by copyright law. Colleges and universities also consider
plagiarism to be a serious academic offence. Furthermore, careless note making and imprecise
documentation can lead to unintentional plagiarism, which also carries serious penalties. It is
therefore very important to be meticulous in your note making and in following the conventions
of documentation. Check that you are not committing any of the errors leading to unintentional
plagiarism. These are listed in the following section.
Common Errors Leading to Plagiarism

• Missing acknowledgement of source – no author given for quotation, paraphrase, or
summary.
• Missing quotation marks even though source acknowledged - suggests that the material
is not a quote but is a paraphrase or a summary and is therefore in your own words.
• Incomplete citation – no page number given for a print source.
• Faulty paraphrase or summary – relies too heavily on the wording or sentence structure
of the source.
• Missing works cited entry – parenthetical citation in text having no corresponding
works cited entry (often caused by not properly documenting indirect sources).
• Distortion of meaning – often caused by a paraphrase changing the meaning of the
source or taking a note out of context resulting in distortion of meaning.
ASSIGNMENT
1 (a) Paraphrase the following passage.
(b) Summarise the following passage.

The reason why so much attention has been directed of late to the question
of language and its meaning is the plain and alarming fact that, as the
field of human knowledge widens and the various branches of that knowledge
become more specialized, and as (at the same time and as a direct result
of this) the whole structure of human society becomes more tightly locked
together in a reciprocal interdependence of all its parts, so it is
rapidly becoming more and more difficult for individual men to understand
each other. Whenever two persons attempt to converse on any subject more
abstruse than the weather or the wearing properties of nylon, a point may
be reached – and reached only too quickly – when the speakers cease to
communicate, and merely utter mutually unintelligible sounds.
(Source - Dorothy L. Sayers, The Poetry of Search and the Poetry of Statement, London:
Gollanez, 1963.)
2. Evaluate the following real and fictional sources and decide whether each work named
is a fully qualified source which you would accept or an unqualified source which you
would suspect. Explain your reasons.
a) Cindy Milbank is well-known for her performances on screen and television. She
is currently appearing on TV talk shows to publicise her self-published book The
Advantages of Eating a Raw Food Diet.
b) You have found what looks to be a very good analysis of the function of art in
primitive cultures in a book called Aboriginal Art written by Wally Caruana, who is
the Curator of Aboriginal Art at the National Gallery of Australia, Canberra. It was
published in 1997.
c) Malcolm Gladwell, a business and science journalist and a best-selling author, has
recently published his most recent best-selling book, Outliers: The Story of Success. It
was published in 2008 by Little, Brown and Co. There are references given for the
facts he uses in the book.
d) Cathie Norris and Elliot Soloway wrote an article in January 2009 on the website of
the magazine Business Week called “Get Cell Phones into Schools” in which they argue
for the use of cell phones in schools instead of laptops. The URL of the site is http://
www.businessweek.com/technology/content/jan2009/tc20090114_741903.htm.
e) An author who goes by the pseudonym of Zagrow has posted a provocative

opinion on a list serve website called Political Forum.com under the title “Teachers
Wanting to Ban Cell Phones in Schools.” It was posted on 16 April 2009 and has
solicited many subsequent postings in reaction to his or her opinion. The URL of
the site is http://www.politicalforum.com/education/75172-teachers-wanting-ban-
cell phones-schools.html.
31
Writing in English Writ- ing in Documentation
English Writing in EnglishFormats
At the point in drafting your paper where you have to cite and document your sources, you need
to choose a particular style of documentation for documenting sources used in your paper. There
are several styles of documentation usually associated with specific fields of study. The style of
documentation known as the Modern Language Association style of documentation (MLA)
is used in English and the humanities; the Chicago Manual of Style (CMS) is used in the field
of history and some humanities courses such as the fine arts; and the American Psychological
Association (APA) style of documentation is used in the social sciences and education. There
are others, but these are the three styles most commonly used. The principle behind using these
different styles is that you should use one style consistently throughout your paper. We will be
giving samples of the first two styles: MLA and CMS. If you are writing papers in fields not
covered by these two styles, ask your lecturer which style he/she recommends you should use
and get a recent publisher’s handbook from your library which includes a section on the style
needed, and follow it meticulously.
Integrating Quotations within the Text

While paraphrases and summaries are easily integrated into the text of your paper, the integration
of quotations needs a little more care, no matter which style of documentation you are using.
They must conform exactly to the original in spelling, capitalization, accents and internal
punctuation. The only exceptions to this are that you may underline words for emphasis and you
may modernise spellings. However, any changes have to be clearly indicated in a note in square
brackets. For example, if you underline something for emphasis, you should put the words
“my emphasis” in square brackets after the underlined word. In addition, it may sometimes be
necessary to use “sic” in square brackets to indicate that an error in spelling, grammar, or logic
was there in the original and was not an error made by you.
Up to about three lines of prose quotation may be incorporated into the running lines of the text
within quotation marks. You are allowed to alter a capital letter to a common letter in the first
word of the quotation if this is necessary to accommodate the quotation. Longer quotations,
however, must be separated from the text; introduced by a colon or comma, depending on the
sense; indented as a block; and should not be enclosed in quotation marks unless quotation
marks are part of the original.
Documentation Formats 395
The Modern Language Association Format (MLA)

The MLA format of documentation dispenses with notes outside the text and instead includes
shortened citations, within parentheses, within the text. These shortened citations refer you to
the full citations in the alphabetised works cited list at the end of the paper. In this format, works
consulted but not used in the paper are not listed. Specifically, each source used in the text (direct
quotation, paraphrase, or summary) is cited by an indication of the source in parentheses at the
end of the borrowed material. The works-cited list, which gives the full information needed to
locate the source, comes at the end of the paper.
In-text Citations
The in-text parenthetical reference usually includes the last name of the author and the page
number of the source from which the material was borrowed. Note that there is no comma
between the author’s name and the page number. Also note that the period to end the sentence
comes outside the parenthetical information, not before it. For example,
In careful speech, women use fewer stigmatised forms than men (Labov 288).
However, note that after long blocked quotations, the period comes before the
parenthetical information, not after it. In addition, be careful to put commas and periods
inside end quotation marks and put semicolons and colons outside end quotation marks. The
following example illustrates the period within end quotes.
This poetic form is aptly illustrated by Mark McWatt’s poem “The Language of
Eldorado.”
If there is more than one work by an author, a shortened title may be used, along with the last
name of the author, to distinguish between the two sources. For example:
This point has been argued before (Frye, Anatomy 178-85).
This is a leitmotif in his work (Frye, Critical 10).
There are variations in the information given in parentheses in in-text citations. One variation
is using the author’s name in a signal phrase before the quote or paraphrase. This is often
recommended as a way to signal the boundaries between the writer’s words and the words of
the cited material. If you do use a signal phrase, only the page number of the original source
needs to be put in parentheses at the end of the borrowed material. Check any recent publisher’s
handbook for common verbs used in signal phrases. For example,
Frye has argued this point before (178-85).

Another variation in the parenthetical information occurs when the source has no indicated
author. You have a choice of using the complete title of the source in a signal phrase or using
a shortened form of the title in parentheses at the end. Note that titles of published books are
put in italics and titles of articles and short works (poems, short stories) are put in quotation
marks. If an Internet source has no stated author but is a site sponsored by an organisation or
a corporation, use the organisation or the corporation as the author. Here is an example of an
in-text citation that has no stated author.
One source claims that a diet without any carbohydrates is bad for your health (“Diets
and Health”).
A third variation in the in-text parenthetical information is required when you use an indirect
source in your paper. If you have found a quote by one author used in a source by a second
author but you cannot find the original source of the quote, you need to indicate to your reader
that you did not get the quote directly from the original source. One way of doing this is to use
the name of the author of the quote in a signal phrase in the text and use the abbreviation “qtd.
in” and the last name of the indirect source in the parentheses: (qtd. in Carrington 24). This
indicates to your reader that he/she will not find a listing of the direct source in the works cited
list. The quote will be listed under the indirect source. Another way of doing this is to use both
the direct and indirect source in the parentheses: (Smith qtd. in Carrington 24). If the material
you want to use is not a quote but a paraphrase, use “para. in” instead of “qtd. in.”
A fourth variation in the parenthetical information is citing web sources without page numbers
indicated. If this is so, you do not have to include the page number in the parentheses. If,
however, paragraphs are numbered in the web source, you may use the paragraph number in
the parentheses: (Holligan, par.13). If there are no paragraph numbers, use the last name of the
author only.
Works Cited List

In format, your works-cited list is arranged in alphabetical order, the list is double spaced and
begins at the margin on the first line and the second and subsequent lines are indented. There
are several revisions in the MLA rules concerning the works-cited list.
• One is that the medium of publication should be indicated at the end of each citation.
For example, you should indicate whether your source is from a print source, from
the web, from a film, from a CD-ROM, from television, from a videocassette, from a
lecture/performance and so on.
• Another revision is that all titles for long published works should be italicised, not
underlined.
• If a source has no publisher or sponsor, use the abbreviation “n.p.”

• If a source has no date of publication, use the abbreviation “n.d.”
• If a source has no page number (common for web sources), use the abbreviation “n.
pag.”
• When citing sources from electronic databases, the name of the database should be
given as usual, but the location of the database (the library name) is no longer required.
• MLA no longer requires the URL for online sources unless the source could not be
located without it. Note, however, that the medium of publication needs to be indicated
and you still need to give the date you accessed the source.
Note that some online databases offer a tool that will format the citations you use from the
database. In addition, there are Internet sites that offer tools that format works-cited lists or
bibliographies for you in whichever style you desire. These can be used to format any type of
source, print or web. Some universities and colleges offer students easy access to some of these
tools on their web pages. Check if your university offers this resource. If you use one of these
sites, make sure that it is offering you the current format for the particular style, not an out-of-
date version.
Here are samples of the types of sources commonly used by undergraduates in the MLA
style of documentation required for the works-cited list. If you use a type of source not listed
below, please consult a publisher’s handbook which includes a section on the MLA format of
documentation.
Book: One Author

Coulthard, Gabriel. Race and Colour in Caribbean Literature. London: OUP, 1962. Print.
Book: Two Authors

Houghton, Walter E., and G. Robert Stange. Victorian Poetry and Poetics. Cambridge, Mass.:
Harvard U.P., l969. Print.
Book: Edited
Roberts, Peter. “Linguistics and Language Teaching,” Studies in Caribbean Language. Ed. Lawrence
D. Carrington. St. Augustine, Trinidad: Society for Caribbean Linguistics, 1983. 230-244.
Print.
Dictionary
“Collage.” The American Heritage Dictionary, 4th ed. 2001. Print.
Article in an Encyclopedia
Archibald, Kenneth. “Cerebral Palsy.” Encyclopedia Americana. 1976 ed. Print.
Article in a Journal
Paterson, Katherine. “Creativity Limited.” The Writer 93.12 (1980): 10-20. Print.
Magazine Article
Obama, Barack. “Why Haiti Matters.” Newsweek 25 Jan. 2010: 20-27. Print.
Newspaper Article
Brody, Jane. “Heart Attacks: Turmoil Beneath the Calm.” New York Times 21 June 1983, late ed.:
Cl. Print.
Course Handout
Lewis, Anthony. “Varieties of English.” Handout from a course in language, University of the
West Indies, 1994. Print.
Web Sources
Online Periodical Article (no author)

Times Online. “Forty Acres: A Poem for Barack Obama from Nobel Winner Derek Walcott.” 5
November 2008. Web. 5 May 2009.
Online Article from a Database Service

Gillis, Cathy. “On Regulating the Internet.” 30 November 1995. Infotech. Web. 5 May 2009.
Online Government Document

Federal Trade Commission. Privacy Initiatives. n.d., n. pag. Web. 5 May 2009.
The Chicago Manual of Style Format (CMS)

This documentation style uses a note (footnote or endnote) and bibliography format. In this
style, consecutive numbers are placed in the text of your paper – raised slightly above the line –
at the end of the quoted, paraphrased or summarised material you have incorporated into your
text. A numbered set of notes is then made outside the text in footnotes or endnotes giving the
specific details of the source. The other part of this format is a list of works cited and consulted,
positioned at the end of the paper. This type of list is called a bibliography. This list is sorted
in alphabetical order according to the last names of the authors. Even though the information
included in the notes and the bibliography might be the same, the formats for writing them
up are different and should be followed meticulously, paying special attention to punctuation.
Recent CMS style allows omission of a bibliography page if full data has been given in the
footnotes. Alternatively, you may provide comprehensive information in the bibliography and
abbreviate all footnotes to author, title of work, and page number. If you are required to use this
style, check with your instructor which variation he/she prefers.
Notes
There are four main purposes of notes:
(i) to cite the sources of information in order to establish the validity of evidence which
can be verified by your readers
(ii) to make cross references within the paper
(iii) to acknowledge indebtedness to sources other than the ones cited under (i); and
(iv) to make incidental comments on, to amplify, or to qualify textual discussion.

Notes then are of two kinds: reference, (i) and (ii); and content, (iii) and (iv). The type of note you
will use most often is the reference type. Content notes should be kept to a minimum since they
tend to distract your reader’s attention from the main body of your work.
While there is one format for the note itself there are two ways of presenting them vis-à-vis the
text: as footnotes or as endnotes. The footnote is so called because it is placed at the foot of the
page where you have cited the material being referenced (by a number superscripted in the text).
The corresponding footnote carries the same number. There is usually a twelve-space line from
the left margin separating the text from the footnote, and while the text is usually double spaced,
the footnote is single spaced.
With endnotes, you collect all the notes that correspond to the numbered references in the text
at the end of the paper. This list is usually headed “Notes” rather than “Endnotes.” While the
actual note is formatted exactly like a footnote, the list is double spaced. Here is a sample note,
whether footnote or endnote. You will observe that it makes use of all the information you were
asked to record on your note cards as well as the page number of the extract.
1. Derek Walcott, “Islands,” In a Green Night (London: Jonathan Cape, 1962), 77.
Please take special note of the following in regard to endnotes and footnotes: the note carries
a corresponding number to the numbered reference in the text; the note is indented 5 spaces
on the first line, and the second and subsequent lines, if needed, come back to the margin; the
author’s name is given in the natural sequence; a comma follows the author’s name; there is a
comma between titles but no punctuation after the title; the publishing information is within
parentheses; a colon separates the place of publication from the publisher and a comma separates
this from the date. All notes end with a period.
If a work is cited more than once in the text, subsequent references after the first may be
shortened by using the author’s last name plus the page number, thus:
Walcott, 77.
If more than one text by the same author is cited, the following shortened forms may be
used:
Walcott, Green Night, 77.
Walcott, Dream, 22.
Bibliography
As stated earlier, the bibliography is a list of references placed at the end of the paper. It must
contain every work cited in the text and referenced in the notes. However, it may also contain
works consulted in your research but not actually cited in the text. For easy reference, all entries
(primary and secondary printed sources, journals, occasional manuscripts, and so on) can usually
be put in a single section, but a separation of disparate material is desirable if the number of
references is large. Items are arranged in alphabetical order by the surnames of the authors or
by the first letter of the title if the work has no stated author.
If you are referencing more than one source from an author in your bibliography, sequence
them by time before going on to the next author alphabetically. Here is a sample of the same
text used in the sample footnote, written as a bibliographic entry:
Walcott, Derek. “Islands.” In a Green Night. London: Jonathan Cape, 1962.

Please take special note of the following: the first line of the entry is not indented; if an entry
occupies more than one line, indent the second and subsequent lines; the last name is listed first,
followed by a comma and then the author’s first name or initials followed by a period; if there
is more than one author, reverse the name of the first author only, separating the names by a
comma; a period comes after the title; a colon comes between the place of publication and the
publisher; a comma comes before the date of publication; and a period ends the citation. Note
that there are no parentheses around the publishing information. The only time page numbers
are cited in the bibliography is for articles, poems, and extracts which are parts of a longer
work. In such cases, give the beginning and ending page numbers for the entire article, poem,
or extract.
Here is a sample of the types of sources often used by undergraduates. For each source, you are
given the format of the note as well as the format of the bibliographic entry. Remember that,
in this format, you need to list the notes as well as compile a bibliography unless your instructor
advises otherwise. If you need to use a source which is not covered here, refer to a recent
publisher’s handbook which includes a section on the CMS style of documentation.
Book: One Author:

Note citation (N):
2. Gabriel Coulthard, Race and Colour in Caribbean Literature (London: OUP, 1962), 21.
Bibliography citation (B):
Coulthard, Gabriel. Race and Colour in Caribbean Literature. London: OUP, 1962.
Book: Two Authors:

N.
3. Walter E. Houghton and G. Robert Stange, Victorian Poetry and Poetics (Cambridge,
Mass.: Harvard U.P., 1969), 27.
B.
Houghton, Walter E., and G. Robert Stange. Victorian Poetry and Poetics. Cambridge, Mass.:
Harvard UP., 1969.

Section from Fdited Book:

N.
4. Peter Roberts, “Linguistics and Language Teaching,” Studies in Caribbean Language, ed.
Lawrence D. Carrington (St Augustine, Trinidad: Society for Caribbean Linguistics, 1983), 230.
B.
Roberts, Peter. “Linguistics and Language Teaching.” Studies in Caribbean Language. Ed.
Lawrence D. Carrington. St. Augustine, Trinidad: Society for Caribbean Linguistics,
1983. 230–244.
Dictionary
N.
5. Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary, 1973 8th ed. , s.v. “collage.”
B.
“Collage.” Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary. 8th ed. Springfield, Mass.: G & C. Merriam
Co., 1973.
Article in an Encyclopedia
N.
6. Kenneth Archibald, Encyclopedia Americana, 1976 ed., s.v. “Cerebral Palsy.”
B.
Archibald, Kenneth. “Cerebral Palsy.” Encyclopedia Americana, 1976.
Article in a Journal (h4)

N.
7. Katherine Paterson, “Creativity Limited,” The Writer 93.12 (1980): 12.

B.
Paterson, Katherine. “Creativity Limited.” The Writer 93.12 (1980): 10-20.
Magazine Article
N.
8. Fareed Zakaria, “America’s Fatal Flaw: If It’s Not a Crisis, We Can’t Fix It,” Newsweek,
24 August 2009, 26.
B.
Zakaria, Fareed. “America’s Fatal Flaw: If it’s Not a Crisis, We Can’t Fix It.” Newsweek
24 August 2009, 26.
Newspaper Article
N.
9. Jane Brody, “Heart Attacks: Turmoil Beneath the Calm,” New York Times, 21 June
1983 late ed., Cl.
B.
Brody, Jane. “Heart Attacks: Turmoil Beneath the Calm.” New York Times, 21 June 1983 late
ed., Cl.
Course Handout
N.
10. Anthony Lewis, “Varieties of English,” Handout for Use of English course,
University of the West Indies, 1994.
B.
Lewis, Anthony, “Varieties of English.” Handout for Use of English course, University of the
West Indies, 1994.

Web Sources
Online Periodical Article (no author)

N.
11. Times Online, “Forty Acres: A Poem for Barack Obama from Nobel Winner Derek
Walcott,” 5 Nov. 2008, http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/us.
B.
Times Online. “Forty Acres: A Poem for Barack Obama from Nobel Winner Derek Walcott.”
5 Nov.2008. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/us.
Online Article from a Database Service

N.
12. Cathy Gillis, “On Regulating the Internet,” 30 November 1995, http://www.csua.
berkeley.edu/~cathyg/infotech_writing/internet_reg.html.
B.
Gillis, Cathy. “On Regulating the Internet.” 30 November 1995.
http://www.csua.berkeley.edu/~cathyg/infotech_writing/internet_reg.html.
Online Government Document

N.
13. Federal Trade Commission, Privacy Initiatives, 5 May 2009, http://www.ftc.gov/

privacy/.
B.
Federal Trade Commission. Privacy Initiatives. 5 May 2009. http://www.ftc.gov/privacy/.

Application: Citations
Choose one of the two documentation styles given above (MLA or CMS) and do the following:
Choose three of your textbooks and, depending on the documentation style you choose,
practice writing up one set of notes and bibliographic entries or in-text citations and
works cited entries for each of them.
•
ASSIGNMENT
Go on the Internet and find the following types of publications and write up bibliographic or
works cited entries for each of them.
• an article written by someone from a site with a URL ending in .edu,

• an academic journal article from a database offered by your library,
• a definition of a word of your choosing from a reputable online encyclopedia.
Check with your tutor/instructor to see if you are doing the exercise correctly.
32
Writing in English Writ- ing in The Research
English Process
In this chapter we present the entire research process from initial search to final draft. This
process is a combination of the stages of the writing process with the stages of the process of
researching and documenting. This outline of the process will only touch briefly on the various
stages of the process here because both of these processes have already been covered in detail:
the writing process in Section Four and the process of research and documentation earlier in this
section. The purpose here is to integrate the two parts of the process for you. The following is a
suggested sequence of steps for you to follow. The sequence is not absolute; there is some room
for varying the order of some of the steps according to your preferred methods, but some steps
definitely have to be done before others.
• Choosing and narrowing a topic

• Preparing a research proposal
• Doing library research and making a working bibliography
• Identifying your audience and establishing a purpose
• Developing a tentative thesis
• Making an outline
• Drafting the paper
• Revising and editing the paper
• Preparing the bibliography
• Typing and proofreading the final draft
Choosing and Narrowing a Topic

The first step in the research process is choosing and narrowing a topic. If the topic for a
research paper is completely open, you need to make sure when you choose your topic that
it is one amenable to being researched. If you choose a topic that is so specific or esoteric
that you will not find a great deal of information on it in your library, you are setting yourself
an unnecessarily hard task. There are also topics about which you cannot easily come to any
definitive conclusions through library research. Some subjects in the social sciences fall into
this category. For instance, you may find a great deal of evidence to back up the assertion that
many religious cults end in tragedy. However, the question as to why this phenomenon happens
is much harder to come to definitive answers about. You should therefore choose questions to
research that do not make the task harder for yourself.
The Research Process 407
Sometimes you may be given a general topic to research and a word-limit to your research paper.
In this case, you need to develop your own research question on a particular aspect of the topic,
taking into consideration the word-limit you have been given and the fact that at tertiary level
you are expected to explore a topic in some measure of depth rather than superficially. Framing
your question on too broad an aspect of the topic tends to lead to trying to cover so much in
the word-limit that you merely skim the surface of the topic. You should therefore narrow your
topic so that you can adequately explore it in the word-limit given. For example, if you are given
the general topic “pollution” and are asked to do a research paper on an aspect of this topic,
with a word-limit of between 800-1000 words, and you try to cover the entire topic – causes,
effects and solutions – in this word limit, you will surely produce a superficial paper. It would
be better under the circumstances to write only on the causes of pollution or the effects of
pollution, exploring one of these aspects in as much depth as you can. Angelica, the student who
wrote the sample research paper at the end of this section, was given the broad topic “global
warming” and she narrowed the topic to “The effects of global warming in the Caribbean” so
that she could cover the topic adequately in 800-1000 words (review Section Four, Chapter 16).
Preparing a Research Proposal

A research proposal is a useful tool that you can use to help you identify and narrow your topic.
Your instructor will normally ask you to submit this proposal for approval of your topic before
your begin research in earnest. Your proposal should include information to indicate why you
have chosen the topic. You will also have to include the research question that you propose to
answer by doing research. You are also expected to indicate what you know about the topic in
the proposal, as well as any information you have already found out in doing your preliminary
research. Sometimes, by this stage you will already have an idea about the focus of the paper
and you can set this out as a working thesis statement in the proposal. Based on the information
you have provided you will have some idea as to how much more you need to learn or find out
about the topic. You can then include this in a summary statement in the proposal so that your
instructor can provide you with helpful feedback on the plan for your paper.
Doing Research and Making a Working Bibliography

After narrowing your topic to manageable proportions, you should turn the topic into a question
you want your research to answer. The next step is to do online and library research in order to
gather information relevant to the particular question you want to answer. Earlier in this section
you were given the nuts and bolts of what is involved in doing research, namely, guidelines as to
the resources of the library, guidelines for online research, and advice about a search strategy.
You were also given advice about the types of notes you can make and a suggested method of
recording important information about your sources on note cards or in a computer file.
Besides these note cards of the sources on which you have made notes for possible use in
your paper, from the beginning of your search to the end, you should be keeping a record
(not necessarily on note cards) of all sources you have checked, with a note as to whether they
were useful or not. This is your working bibliography. Not all of these will end up in your final
bibliography, but if you do not keep a record of those books checked but not found useful, you
may find yourself wasting time rechecking books you did not realise you had already checked.
Identifying Your Audience and Establishing a Purpose

The next step after you have gathered information on the topic is to identify your audience,
since the intended audience may determine your choice of the rhetorical mode you select for
the paper, (e.g. expository or argumentative). It will also influence your selection of detail and
your level of language and word choice. Some writers decide on an audience even before they
research their topic, but you might save yourself extra work if you at least do it before you begin
to write. We explained in detail why you need to identify your audience and how you can shape
your paper for the chosen audience in Section Four on the writing process. If you need further
guidance in this area, please reread that section.
It is also important for you to have a clear sense of what you hope to achieve in writing the
paper; that is, your purpose, since this will also influence the character of your paper. A writer’s
purpose can affect methods of development and order of ideas. An informative paper on the
uses of the computer will certainly contain different information and be organised differently
from a persuasive paper about the benefits of the computer. Like audience, purpose should be
determined early so you do not have to do a great deal of rewriting at a later stage.
One of our students, Angelica E., has identified fellow students who are not science majors as
the audience for her paper and since her topic is a science topic, she will have to modify her
technical vocabulary or explain any technical terms that she does use. Considering her audience,
she has decided that her purpose in writing the paper is an informative/expository one.
Developing a Tentative Thesis

If you have not already come up with a tentative thesis statement in your proposal, you should
do so at this stage. If you have presented one in the proposal, you should spend some time
refining the statement so that it reflects the focus of your paper. If the purpose of your paper is
an argumentative or persuasive one, this will certainly affect how you organise it, but you should
know what your thesis is, no matter what your purpose is. In an expository paper, your thesis
may come out of your effort to organise your points into some sort of sub-groupings and so
making an outline (the next suggested step) and this one may be done simultaneously. Angelica’s
thesis for her paper on “The effects of global warming in the Caribbean” is a reflection of how
she has organised her paper; the thesis is:
The impact of this atmospheric warming on the Caribbean is mirrored in three

effects: the rise in temperature, the rise in sea levels and extreme weather
patterns. These effects can lead in turn to other negative consequences.
Making an Outline
The next step is organising your ideas into some sort of plan before you start writing. No matter
how worthwhile your ideas are, if a reader cannot understand how they relate to each other
and follow on one from the next, then much of the paper’s effectiveness will be lost. The two
methods most often used by writers to organise their ideas are a thesis statement and an outline.
The thesis statement keeps you focused and relevant and the outline forces you to have a plan
before you write.
There are of course various types of outlines, some more formal than others. The informal
types – the scratch outline, the paragraph outline and clustering – are appropriate for short
essays and papers, but for a longer research paper which is more detailed and involved the
formal outline is better because you can organise your paper to any number of hierarchical levels
necessary. Formal outlining was explained in detail in Section Four on the writing process. If
you need further information on how to make a formal outline, reread the relevant chapter of
Section Four. Angelica chose to write a formal sentence outline to her paper and to use three
levels of organisation.
Drafting the Paper

The next stage in the process is to use your outline and flesh it out with the specific information
you have gathered from your research in a first attempt at writing up your paper. Different
writers handle their first drafts differently. You must discover the drafting procedure that works
best for you. Some writers may begin with the introductory paragraph and work through the
body to the conclusion. Others may start with whatever part they find easiest and work through
to the hardest part, or vice versa.
A first draft is meant for the writer and not the reader, so do not feel discouraged if your
first draft needs work – even a great deal of work. In general, the more detailed an outline
developed prior to drafting, the less idea generation is required while drafting and the more
quickly drafting proceeds. However, new ideas may occur to you as you prepare your first drafts
and it is important for you to be responsive to them. If this means returning to an earlier stage
of the writing process, then you should do so.
Make sure you indicate the sources of the material you use right from this stage, so that you
do not unintentionally plagiarise by the time you write your final draft by not realising that the
information was taken from a source. You should do this either by numbering the borrowed
material sequentially in your draft and keeping a list of the corresponding notes, or by indicating
the author’s last name and the page number of the source in parentheses after the borrowed
material, depending on which format of documentation you have chosen to use.
Revising and Editing the Paper

The next stage is revising the paper. Before doing this, however, remember our suggestion that
you set the paper aside for a day or two before attempting to revise it. The reason for putting
the draft aside is to distance yourself from it. This allows you to return to it with somewhat
more detachment and objectivity than before and consequently you are better able to look at it
critically. Giving your draft to a fellow student who is willing to read it and to give you critical
comments is also a good idea at this point. As a reader a fellow student may be able to see things
you yourself as a writer may be unaware of.
Revision means that the writer takes a look again at the draft, this time from the reader’s point-
of-view. You should evaluate the paper in light of the audience and purpose to determine what
changes must be made and then make those changes. Revision is the most important (and often
most time-consuming) aspect of any writing process, because it is during this stage that writers
labour over their drafts – adding, deleting, changing, shaping and refining – to create writing that
achieves the intended purpose.
As you revise, concern yourself with the content, organisation, logic, presentation of ideas and
clear expression. Turn to Section Four, Chapter 17 for more information on revising and review
the detailed checklists you use when revising your first draft.
After revising your first draft, it is important for you to edit your work carefully to find and
correct errors in grammar, spelling, capitalisation and punctuation. Firstly, errors of this type will
cause your readers to doubt your ability and thus question your competence and distrust what
you say. Secondly, errors may be distracting, making your readers more aware of your errors than
your message. If you have good language skills, you may edit and revise all at once. However, if
you tend to make grammatical mistakes regularly, you should edit in a separate stage following
revision. For details about grammar that can help you in the editing process, see SectionTen.
Preparing the Bibliography

After you have revised and edited your paper, you need to pay attention to the documentation of
your sources. Check that your sources are all acknowledged and that your notes or parenthetical
citations are all accurate so you do not unintentionally plagiarise. You should also check that you
are following the conventions of documentation meticulously. For instance, if you are using
footnotes, you should make sure that your notes follow the MLA format to the letter and place
them on the relevant pages.
At this point, you also need to compile your bibliography. Make sure you have included all
works cited in the text of your paper and also include references for any works on the topic you
consulted during your research, and perhaps made notes on, but did not actually use in your
paper. This is a stage in the process where you need to pay particular attention to detail. Refer
to Chapter 31 of this section for guidance on formats of documentation and the specifics on
citations and compiling a bibliography. For an example of the use of the notes and bibliography
format of documentation, see Angelica’s research paper at the end of this section.
Typing and Proofreading the Final Draft

After editing your text, checking your citations and compiling your bibliography, you need to
write out or type your final draft. However, while typing or rewriting, it is possible to make
mistakes (typographical or otherwise), so the final copy must be checked and proofread carefully
so that the copy you present to your lecturer is a clear, neat, well-presented copy, free of errors.
Here is Angelica’s sample sentence outline and research paper:

The Effects of Global Warming in the Caribbean
OUTLINE
I Introduction: Thesis statement: The impact of this atmospheric warming on the

Caribbean is mirrored in three effects: the rise in temperature, the rise in sea
levels and extreme weather patterns. These effects can lead in turn to other
negative consequences.
II The consequent rise in sea temperature has had negative effects.
(a) Marine life has been affected.
1. Aquatic organisms and micro-organisms have been affected.
2. Coral reefs have been affected.
(b) Man has been affected.
1. Skin cancers in man have increased.
2. Man’s immune system has been impaired.
III The consequent rise in sea levels can have negative effects.
(a) This rise can affect coastal wetlands.
1. This, in turn, can affect terrestrial plants.

2. This, in turn, can affect commercial fish.
(b) This rise can affect beaches.
(c) This rise can affect aquifers.
IV There are negative effects evidenced in extreme weather conditions.
(a) Droughts have resulted.
(b) Floods have resulted.
(c) Severe hurricanes have resulted.
V Conclusion: Man’s activities have contributed to global warming, which in turn

has led to many negative effects. Fortunately, man has now realised that the
earth’s atmosphere is a closed system; therefore, simply venting emissions into
it does not get rid of them. Now he can make amends.
A major focus of world debate today is the global environment and its apparent
changes. Global warming, the rise in temperature of the entire earth’s surface
and atmosphere, is one such change. The warmth of the earth’s surface and
atmosphere is directly related to the concentration of water vapour, carbon
dioxide, methane, tropospheric ozone, nitrous oxide and chlorofluorocarbons
in the atmosphere, without which the world would be colder and therefore
uninhabitable.1 The problem, however, arises from the excessive amount of these
gases in the atmosphere, which contributes to the depletion of the ozone and
further results in the atmospheric warming now being experienced. The impact
of this atmospheric warming on the Caribbean is mirrored in three effects: the
rise in temperature, the rise in sea levels and extreme weather patterns. These
effects can in turn lead to other negative consequences.
One effect of global warming in the Caribbean is a rise in temperature which

causes this region to experience a warmer climate. This increased warmth has
major implications for marine life as aquatic and micro-organisms are very
sensitive to temperature changes. Experimental studies have shown decreases
in growth, reproduction, survival and other functions of these organisms, thus
indicating that these plants and animals are “torn apart by the stresses of
adapting to a quickly changing environment.”2 This effect is also reflected in the
Caribbean region where it has been noted that sea grasses and other planktonic
forms have fallen prey to the temperature rise.3
Similarly, coral reefs also suffer from elevated temperatures. Zooxanthellae,

the single-celled algae which live inside corals, die as a result of this extra
warmth, and so delete the colour effect from the corals. Evidence of this has
been collected from the reefs around Jamaica; these appear “white or bleached.”4
Furthermore, scientists have also recorded extensive deaths of corals throughout

the Caribbean in 1987 and in 1990. This, they concluded, was due to a slight
warming in the water during those periods.5
In addition to the danger faced by plant and animal species, man also faces
an element of danger. Scientists have concluded that certain illnesses which
are contracted nowadays are influenced by global warming. These include skin
cancers, evidenced only in light-skinned populations; cataracts, a leading
cause of blindness; and a suppression of the immune system. Though no studies
can be cited specific to the Caribbean, studies done elsewhere indicate that a
5% increase in temperature could be expected to generate a 22% to 33% increase
in these cancers.6
The law of multiple effects indicates that the percentages above would translate
into an annual worldwide increase of new cases of skin cancers among the light-
skinned populations. This of course, would include that population living in
the Caribbean region as well. Likewise, populations within the Caribbean region
would also be affected by the weakening of the immune system. This condition
leaves man prone to a higher incidence of all infectious diseases and this,
scientists feel, would affect more diverse populations to a greater extent.
Another widely felt and easily recognised effect of global warming in the
Caribbean is the rise in sea levels. This can be effected in two ways: the
addition of melted ice from the land and expansion of the ocean as it gets
warmer. Over the past 30 years, a rise in sea levels for the Caribbean region
has been noticed at Port au Prince, Haiti and at Port Royal, Jamaica.7 The long
term impact of a rise in sea levels would destroy coastal wetlands which are
known to be the feeding, nesting and nursery area for many terrestrial plants
and species of commercial fish.
The rise in sea level also affects beaches, making them prone to coastal erosion
and storm damage. Within the Caribbean, where revenue from tourism is a major
source of foreign exchange and employment, beach erosion could result in a loss
of this revenue. This was particularly evidenced in countries such as Nevis and
Montserrat where tourist arrivals decreased immediately after the passage of
Hurricane Hugo in 1989.
Additionally, the rise in sea levels creates problems through the salination
of coastal aquifers. Many Caribbean countries – Barbados and Anguilla, for
example – obtain their drinking water from aquifers near the sea. With a rise
in sea levels, salt can seep into the underground sources of fresh water, thus
contaminating the aquifers.
A final effect of global warming in the Caribbean is seen in extreme weather

patterns. These are related to climatic variables such as precipitation,
evaporation, wind velocity and ocean currents. Over the years, these variables
have changed pattern and propelled incidences of drought, flooding and storms in
the Caribbean region. Statistical analysis of seasonal precipitation indicates

that there has been a trend towards decreasing levels of rainfall in the Caribbean
Basin. A continuance of this trend would give rise to a greater probability of
droughts for this region, which in turn would result in reduced crop yields and
a loss of vegetation.
Whereas lack of precipitation may trigger droughts, evaporation could cause

an increase in rainfall over some Caribbean islands. Trinidad, for example,
has experienced flooding, while other territories – for example Anguilla – have
experienced extremely hot and dry conditions. Scientists postulate that as
more water evaporates from the oceans with higher global temperatures average
rainfall worldwide will increase.8 In agricultural systems, however, too much
rainfall is just as damaging as too little; therefore, the former is likely
to affect the growing and reaping seasons and also influence the harvesting of
crops.
In addition to droughts and floods, the Caribbean has also experienced an

increase in the overall frequency and strength of tropical storms and hurricanes.
Hurricane Gilbert in 1988 was termed ‘the largest cyclone system ever observed
in the western hemisphere.’9 However, this was followed one year later by one
even more powerful, Hurricane Hugo. Records for this present century show an
average of about four hurricanes in the Caribbean during any year.10
Global warming therefore has impacted the Caribbean through a rise in temperature,
a rise in sea level and extreme weather patterns. When we consider why we are
faced with these consequences, it becomes evident that man’s activities have
contributed to global warming, which in turn has led to negative effects.
Fortunately, man has now realised that the earth’s atmosphere is a closed
system; therefore, simply venting emissions into it does not get rid of them.
Now he can make amends.

NOTES
1. Cheryl S. Silver and C.S. De Fries, One Earth, One Future: Our Changing
Global Environment (Washington D.C.: National Academy Press, 1990) 65.
2. Silver and De Fries, 77.
3. Paul R. Erlich and Ann H. Erlich, Healing the Planet (New York: Addison
Wesley Publication Corp., 1991) 74.
4. Sharon Begley, “A Bigger Hole in the Ozone”, Newsweek April 15, 1991:48.
5. Erlich and Erlich, 91.5
6. Lydia Dotto, “Dangerous Holes in the Sky Above Us”, University of Toronto
Magazine, Autumn 1988:10.
7. Susan Mahon and Calvin Howell, “The Green House Effect: Impacts on the
Caribbean”, Caribbean Conservation Association Fact Sheet 3.3 (1991):1-8.
8. Erlich and Erlich, 87.
9. Mahon and Howell, 6.
10. Mahon and Howell, 6.

BIBLIOGRAPHY
1. Begley, Sharon. “A Bigger Hole in the Ozone.” Newsweek April 15, 1991:48.
2. Biswas, Asit K., and Margaret Biswas. “The Ozone Layer,” Environmental
Sciences and Applications Vol.4, Pergamon Press, 1979.
3. Dotto, Lydia. “Dangerous Holes in the Sky Above Us,” University of

Toronto Magazine, Autumn 1988:10.
4. Erlich, Paul R., and Ann H. Erlich. Healing the Planet. New York: Addison
Wesley Publication Corp., 1991.
5. Mahon, Susan, and Calvin Howell. “The Green House Effect: Impacts on the
Caribbean.” Caribbean Conservation Fact Sheet 3.3 (1991):1-8.
6. Silver, Cheryl S., and R.S. De Fries. One Earth, One Future: Our Changing
Global Environment. Washington D.C.: National Academy Press, 1990.
Suggestions for Further Reading

Hackler, Diana. Rules for Writers, 6th ed. New York: Bedford/St. Martins, 2008.
Lester, James D. and James D. Lester Jr. Writing Research Papers: A Complete Guide, 13th ed. New
York: Longman, 2010.
ASSIGNMENT
Write a fully documented research paper of between 800-1000 words in length on one of the
following topics:
• Genetic engineering
• Religious cults
• Caribbean integration
• Overpopulation
• Aids
• Global warming
• Internet privacy
Section 8
Discourse Across the Academic

Disciplines
Chapter 33: The Demands of Academic Writing
• Overview
• Summary Writing
Chapter 34: Academic Discourse in the Arts and Humanities

• Interpreting Literature – the Critical Reader
• Critical Analysis of an Essay
• Critical Analysis of a Poem
• The Literary Essay
• The Book Report and the Book Review
• Comparing Two Texts
Chapter 35: Discourse in the Sciences

• Writing in the Social and Natural Sciences
• The Report Based on Library Research
• The Report Based on Field Research
• The Laboratory Report
Chapter 36: The Discourse of Business

• The Business Report
• (A) Preliminary Material (B) The Main Body
– Use of Visual Aids: Pictograms; Pie Charts; Line Graphs; Bar Charts; Tables;
Diagrams and Charts; Organisational and Flow Charts
– Abuse of Visual Aids
- Section 8 417
g
t- – Information and Statistics Presented in Essay Form
– The Language to Use in Presenting Statistics
-
• The Resumé
• Memos and Letters

This section provides you with an introduction to the demands of writing in four academic
disciplines. Chapter 33 includes an overview of what is required in writing for academic purposes
as well as a component on the summary since it is required for all of the disciplines. In Chapter 34
we survey some of the demands of the arts and humanities and include components on writing
a critique of an essay, a poem and a literary essay. We then go on to explore the requirements for
book reviews and reports in that section. In Chapter 35 we focus on discourse in the sciences,
emphasising laboratory reports and reports that are based on library research and a survey. In
Chapter 36 we discuss the language of business and examine selected formats for business
documents. Each of the chapters can be subjects of separate books; the constraints on space do
not allow us to do more than introduce some fundamental concepts in the selected areas.
Aims of the Section

1. use strategies for critical reading and analysis of different texts;
2. use the appropriate discourse for the selected disciplines;
3. use different formats for writing letters of application and resumés.

33
The
Writing in English Writ- ing in Demands
English of Writing
Writing in English Academic Writing
Overview
In Section Three, Chapter 12, we described the general characteristics of discourse across the
disciplines. There, as well as in other parts of the book (see Section One, Chapter 3; Section
Three, Chapter 12; and Section Four, Chapter 14), we stressed the differences between spoken
and written discourse. The point that we want you to remember is that writing for academic
purposes requires the use of a formal standard register. This means that you should not use
colloquial, slang or non-standard varieties in your papers unless, of course, you are given an
assignment in which you are asked specifically to use one of these for a particular purpose. We
expect that by the time you have completed your first degree you will be a good writer with
the ability to write in a variety of situations, using the appropriate registers, tone and diction
demanded by the situations, and with an awareness of the needs of the audience in these
situations. In order to be a good writer you must be familiar with the particular demands of
different situations.
In your first year at university you will probably read courses across different disciplines and you
will be expected to show mastery of the discourse in the respective disciplines in the assignments
that you write. The language of the biology report, the literary critique, the business analysis
report is different in respect of style, organisation and diction. You are not likely to be given
formal lectures on the language of biology when you take courses in that department. The
lecturers will assume that you have a good ability to use language and that you will be able to
acquire the jargon and special features of usage from being exposed to the literature in the field,
and from your attempts to write papers in the discipline. However, a focused examination of the
characteristics of the language you need for writing in the respective disciplines will be to your
advantage.
Let us begin with an application in which you review the characteristics of the formal language
you will need for academic writing. We have included information on the subject in several
places in this text. You will find direct statements about formal language and you will also find
implications that emerge as a result of comparisons with other registers. To recap briefly, we
said that formal language is characterised by grammatical usage, well-formed sentences, and a
tone which is not flippant or too familiar. This does not mean that formal language must be
dry or stuffy. Most academic text books nowadays use a language that is appropriate for an
educated audience; this means that they are likely to have a complex sentence structure and wide
vocabulary and phrasing that is straightforward and unpretentious. One is likely to find different
levels of formality from a high to low scale, but the level of formality is likely to be a reflection
The Demands of Academic Writing 419
of the preferred writing style of different authors. For instance, the following examples of the
same sentence reflect different levels of formality.
1. “Overuse of connotative words is an impediment to clear thinking; however, the deletion

of emotional diction from an extract would result in the elimination of colour from the
language.”
This utterance would fall towards the ‘high’ end of the scale. An utterance falling
somewhere in the mid-section of the scale would probably read like the following.
2. “Overuse of connotative words impedes clear thinking, but if all emotional language is
deleted from a text it loses colour.”
A rendering of the same sentence that would be classified as low on the scale of formality
would read like the following.
3. “An overuse of connotative words prevents clear thinking, but take away the emotional
language from a piece of writing and it loses colour.”
Notice that the language is standard and grammatical in all three instances, but the levels
of formality differ. One varies level of formality, tone and diction according to audience
and purpose. An academic would be more likely to use 3 in a casual chat with a colleague,
but would be more likely to use 1 in a paper intended for presentation on the subject of
language. One would not find in formal academic discourse a phrasing of the sentence
as follows.
4. “Too much use of these fancy feeling words can keep a person from thinking straight.
But if you diss them from the language you diss the colour too.”
The use of slang, the diction and the tone of the expression are not characteristic of
the formal register, even if the sentence is grammatical. One will not find language like
4 in academic journals or textbooks (novels and short fiction in which characters speak
are excluded). The language of 4 will also not be the selected register for writing an
assignment for one of your courses.
The forms of discourse most frequently used in academic writing are exposition and
argument.
Application: Levels of Formality

1. Using the following format, write down (one item to a line) all the features that characterise
formal language in the left hand column and the features that do not characterise formal
language in the right hand column. As a test of how much you remember on the subject,
first try to fill the columns without referring to the text. Then read the relevant sections
(Three and Four) carefully, jot down notes on the characteristics and then complete the
columns.
Formal Standard English Non-formal English
is characterised by these features does not contain these features
_____________________________ ___________________________
_____________________________ ___________________________
_____________________________ ___________________________
_____________________________ ___________________________
_____________________________ ___________________________
_____________________________ ___________________________
2. In Section Three, Chapter 12 we describe the characteristics of academic discourse in

the following disciplines: Arts/Humanities, Sciences, Law and Business. Write a brief
summary (one paragraph) in which you present the characteristics of language in these
disciplines. Do not copy verbatim from the text; use your own words to describe.
3. Read the following sentences and indicate (a) where they fall on a scale of formality
using high and low as polarities, and (b) where (the situation in which) each one is most
likely to occur.
a) “The prosecution alleged that the defendant had abrogated his responsibilities and
that the counsel for the defense wittingly suppressed the evidence to that effect.”
b) “The fellas didn’t even bother to explain why they had taken that decision.”
c) “Commonly, they feed off the barks of trees and can destroy an entire plantation
within a week.”
d) “While reading the poem, take notes that reflect your first impressions about it.”
e) “Who says there’s no cure for the virus?”
f) “Debilitating virus my foot! All he needs is a strong dose of white rum to flush it
out of his system.”
g) “Nobility is rare and less endemic to mediocrity than it is to excellence.”
h) “During that period, piracy in the Caribbean waters militated against further
developments in the region.”
i) “I wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole if I were you.”

•
Summary Writing
In the academic world you are often called on to write summaries of written material. You may
sometimes be called on to read an article and present the main points of it to the rest of the class.
Even if you can avoid doing this, every student needs to do research at some point. Summarising
written material is one of the basic techniques of note taking, which is a preliminary stage in the
process of researching a topic.
In writing a summary of written material, your objective is to record an author’s main points
and major supporting details. The essence of the summary is conciseness, objectivity and
completeness. Conciseness is reflected in the brevity of the summary in comparison to the
original passage (one-third to one-quarter of the original); objectivity is reflected in the inclusion
of only the author’s ideas and in neutral tone; and completeness is reflected in the inclusion of
all the important points made by the author. A summary should also be written in your own
words.
Here is a suggested procedure you can follow when writing a summary of a paragraph. After
reading the passage to make sure you understand the ideas expressed in it,
1. make a note of the purpose or intent of the author;
2. make an outline of the main point and supporting points;
3. write a draft summary using your outline, making sure to:
• keep the same general order of ideas as the original;

• keep the same proportions;
• use your own words;
• keep the same tone as the original.
4. check your draft against the original to make sure you have included all the important
points made by the author;
5. revise your draft paying particular attention to:
• further ways in which the draft may be shortened;
• matters of style (check that your summary has appropriate transitions which meld it
into a unified and coherent whole).
Here are some techniques you can use to cut down on the length of the original material:
1. omit illustrative material;
2. state figurative language more simply and directly;
3. delete repetitions;
4. rephrase and rearrange sentences by replacing clauses and phrases with single words.
Here is an example of the summary process as it was worked through for the following paragraph.
There is nothing in women’s chemical or biological makeup that should
preclude deep loyalty to those of the same sex. The sensitivity is certainly
there, as is the capacity for warmth and love and fidelity. But until women
cease to see themselves strictly in terms of men’s eyes and to value men
more highly than women, friendship with other women will remain a sometime
thing, an expedient among competitors of inferior station that can be lightly
discarded. I, for one, would much rather compete with men than for them. This
affliction of competition between women for the attention of men – the only
kind of women’s competition that is encouraged by society – also affects the
liberated women who manage to secure an equal footing with men in this man’s
world. (129 words)
(Source - Susan Brownmiller, ‘Woman is Often Her Own Worst Enemy’, Mademoiselle, 1970.)
1. Writer’s Intent: The intent of the author is to explain why women do not have other
women as friends.
2. Outline of Main Point and Supporting Points:
• No biological barriers to friendships between women, yet they do not develop.
• Reasons why friendships between women do not develop:
– women see themselves through men’s eyes

– women value the attention of men more than that of women

Results in competition between women rather than friendship.
3. First Draft of Summary from Outline:
Even though women have the biological attributes for the development of friendships,
they do not develop friendships with other women because they see themselves through
men’s eyes and value the attention of men more highly. This results in socially acceptable
competition between women rather than friendship. (45 words)
4. Draft Checked for Inclusion of All Important Points.
5. Revise and Shorten.
Even though the biological attributes for friendship exist in women, they do not develop
friendships with other women because they value the attention of men more highly; this
results in competition between women rather than friendship. (36 words)
In the revision, the initial clause has been rephrased and shortened, one of the reasons
has been left out because it was a repetition of the other one; the idea that the competition
between women is socially acceptable has also been left out because it is a peripheral
comment. The final summary conveys the important points and supporting details of
the original in one third to one quarter of the number of words. Following are a set of
guidelines to help you summarise longer passages.
Guidelines for Summarising Longer Passages

• Write one-sentence summaries of each paragraph (usually the topic sentence).
• Write a one-sentence summary of the entire passage. (Check the author’s thesis statement
for the passage).
• Write a draft paragraph beginning with the overall summary sentence from guideline #2
and continue with the summaries of the paragraphs.
• Reread the passage and draft summary to make sure you have not omitted any important
points.
• Revise the paragraph for clarity, conciseness, repetition, and so forth; make sure that the
final version has transitional devices that create a unified and coherent whole.
ASSIGNMENT
Summarise the following two passages using the procedures demonstrated above. Reduce the
passages to between one-third and one-quarter of the original.
I This two-dimensional approach, advancing on expanded membership and

economic co-operation agreements simultaneously, has two very important
implications. Firstly, the Community would have to direct its attention
to its own deepening process before it could be strong enough to take on
new or associate membership or even economic co-operation agreements of a
demanding nature. For we regard the need for the achievement of greater
internal and external cohesiveness in the Community (and Common Market)
as taking priority over its widening. Secondly, as part of this deepening,
before any agreements are entered into for associate membership or looser
economic co-operation, the new Rules of Origin should have been fully
implemented and the “Common” External Tariff should have embraced all of
the member countries’ tariffs, resulting in a single tariff on all imported
inputs, capital goods and final consumer goods.
(Source - Report by a group of Caribbean experts, The Caribbean Community in the 1980s,
Georgetown: Caribbean Community Secretariat, 1981.
II
The character of our newer communities is a stereotype of the same kind
of house and of parallel income levels. The houses and the people in them
take on a mass packaged look; nevertheless, these very communities are
the roots of young married people in what is called the family-formation
period.
As these families mature and their incomes increase, the natural desire
to keep their roots is overcome by the need to reflect their new status.
They move. As a result, we have a ‘lonely crowd’ of people milling about
in impersonal space in unfamiliar neighborhoods. It is the inadequacy
of the house as a people-container and the failure of the community to
hold onto people which brings about so much of the migration. The social
implications in such mass uprootings are disquieting.
The family is the central social unit in a stable society. Few things
are as important to the family as their home. It is the center and focus
of their life, the setting for the events of their collective human
existence. It is the repository of all the family’s joint and individual
memories, its possessions and memorabilia. It is an essential physical
ingredient in the cohesive which keeps a family together.
It is a tragedy for the individual, for the family, indeed for society,
when people are forced to uproot themselves. For implicit in that uprooting
is the separation from place. A home is a unit which exists in a finite
relationship to place. Belonging to a place is a central concept which runs
through man’s history, art and poetry. He is from Devonshire, Brittany,

Boston or Dallas. A man is identified with his land, his community, his
neighborhood, its institutions and customs. It is part of his dress and
his attitudes.
(Source - William Snaith, The Irresponsible Arts, London: William Gollanez Ltd.)
34
Academic Discourse in the Arts and
Writing in English Writ- ing in English Writing in English Writing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in
Humanities
Interpreting Literature – The Critical Reader
The assignments that are usually given in literature courses are intended to help students to
become better critical readers and writers of literary criticism. In Section Four we mentioned
the importance of critical reading and we stressed the idea of active reading and of the necessity
for you, the reader, to become engaged with the text by asking questions of it and checking
your understanding while reading. We develop these ideas further here and outline more specific
activities that you as a first-year student should practise to develop your critical reading abilities.
We begin by reiterating the following points:
1. critical readers are active readers

2. critical readers ask questions of the text and of themselves as they read
3. critical readers analyse what they read.
1. Critical readers are active readers. Much of our casual, everyday reading does not usually
involve critical reading. We tend to read the daily newspaper in a more superficial way
than we would read a manual with instructions on how to set up a worktable, and the
way in which we approach that would be different from our approach to a novel or
Shakespearian play on which we need to write a review or literary essay. The purposes
of these kinds of reading are obviously different and our level of involvement is likely
to be different also. When we read as a basis for preparing a written assignment, there
is an integration of reading and writing processes in several ways. The reading becomes
pre-reading for the writing task, and it involves a deep analysis of the text that results in
the generation of ideas for the writing. The interaction of reader with the text facilitates
a better understanding of the text and makes the generation of ideas easier.
In order for such interaction to take place, the reader/writer must become engaged with
the text, and must be an active participant in the reading process. Passive readers simply
read and turn pages without stopping to reflect on what they have read, or without
asking questions about the material. Active readers, on the other hand, activate their
existing schemata (prior knowledge), which they bring to bear on the subject; this helps
them to make associations between new and existing knowledge, and it also helps them
to remember what they read. As they read they make notes about relationships between
ideas within the text, about their reactions to the text, and they make comparisons
between significant points in the text and other relevant remembered texts. They also
Academic Discourse in the Arts and Humanities 427
anticipate outcomes in the text, guessing ahead, figuring out the motives of characters
and so forth.
2. Critical readers evaluate what they read and they ask questions of the text and of themselves as they
read. Critical readers do not read and memorise simply to regurgitate what they have
memorised in an assignment. They closely scrutinize the text for consistency in the
discussion and they constantly assess the ideas in the text for the soundness of the logic
in the arguments. They look for stated and hidden assumptions, and assess them also.
3. Critical readers analyse what they read. They divide the material into manageable chunks, and
they simplify complex ideas so that they may better understand them. They summarise
parts of the text; they paraphrase and they write explanatory notes on the text. All of
these techniques help readers to evaluate and analyse the text and help them to be better
prepared for the writing task.
In this section we present lists of questions that you can ask yourself and notes that will help
you to evaluate (a) an essay, (b) a poem and (c) a longer literary text.
Critiqcal Analysis of an Essay

In Sections Three, Four, Five, Six and Seven we have presented information on discourse types,
the essay and the research paper. Several of the checklists for writing that we provide in these
sections can be transformed into questions for reading. As we mentioned earlier, there is a link
between the reading and writing processes, and if you write with an audience in mind you will
anticipate the questions that the audience (reader) will ask of the text. How can you approach
the reading of an essay as preparation for writing a critical evaluation of it? Depending on how
long the essay is, you may want to read it in segments, taking short breaks in between reading.
This will allow you to assimilate information as you go along.
1. Read the entire text to get a sense of its scope. Get basic questions about author out of the way
by noting the name and by reading any biographical notes that may be provided.
2. Go through the essay looking at subsections (if there are any) and making notes on the subheadings of
sections. This will give you an idea of the ground that the author covers in the essay.
3. Ask questions of the text as you read. Write notes in pencil in the margins or on a notepad.
Underline or highlight important parts to which you want to refer later. However,
remember that you ought not to deface library books or books that belong to someone
else.
4. Write down your reactions to what you read. If you disagree with a point the author has
made, note that and also say why you disagree; jot down counter-evidence if you have it
available.
5. Make summaries of parts of the text as you read. In particular, summarise the main ideas and
note the points that are presented in support of them.
6. Paraphrase, restate points and ideas in your own words to test your understanding of them.
7. Reread the essay to determine how the writer develops the argument. If you did so when you first
read the essay, you may not have to reread to do this; you may simply check specific
points where there are gaps in your notes. It is always good to read a text (or parts of a
text) twice if you are preparing to write about it.
Refer to the checklists that we presented in Section Four as guides for writing your essays. Note
the correspondence between these and the questions that you ask as you read.
I. The subject
• What is this essay about?

• Can I determine the subject from the title?
(Note: If the subject is not clear from the title, look through the subheadings and read the
opening paragraphs to determine what the essay is about. Make notes to yourself to indicate
what you think it is about.)
II. Purpose and thesis
• What is the purpose of the writer? (Is it to inform, persuade, entertain, or explain?)
• Who is the intended audience for this essay?
• Does the writer state the purpose explicitly?
• What is the thesis of this essay?
• Is the thesis (explicit or implicit) clear and unambiguous?
• Does the writer qualify it in any way?
• Does the writer indicate hesitance about the subject in the wording of the thesis? (For
example, does the writer suggest uncertainty through the use of words like probably,
perhaps, maybe, might, may and so on?)
III. The supporting points
• How sound/valid is the evidence that is presented in support of the main ideas in the
essay?
• Do the supporting points substantiate the thesis?

• Are there conflicting or contradictory ideas?
• Are all the supporting ideas relevant to, and do they support, the thesis?
• Are there sufficient supporting points or is the evidence adequate?
• Is the discussion/argument too sketchy?
• How exactly do the ideas in the essay support the thesis?
• Does the essay contain unnecessary digressions?
IV. Assumptions
• Are there strong assumptions in the essay?

• Are the assumptions well-founded? Do I agree with them?
• Are there underlying assumptions? What are they?
V. Writing strategies/techniques
• Does the writer use techniques (strategies) to present the material in an interesting way?
• Are these strategies superfluous or overdone or merely ornamental?
• Do the techniques contribute to the overall effectiveness of the essay?
VI. Conclusion
• Is/Are the conclusion(s) drawn by the writer logical and do they proceed naturally from
the main arguments/discussion of the essay?
You can also ask yourself
• Was this essay worth reading?

• Did I learn anything from it?
• Was it satisfying to read?
Before you attempt to write your critique of the essay, you will find it useful to go over it and
make a formal outline of it to see how it is organised and to assess whether the ideas are logically
presented (refer to Section Four). Make notes on your observations then look them over and
the answers to the questions that you asked. Use a formal outline or any of the other strategies
discussed in this text to map how you will develop your ideas.
Application: Critical Analysis of an Essay

1. Read the following essay and use the suggestions we have presented in this section to
guide your reading and to evaluate it.
2. Make a formal outline of the essay, noting its pattern of organisation and sequencing of
ideas.
3. Write a critical analysis of the essay in approximately 300 words.
Nelson’s (and Other) Readers
J. R. P. Dumas
Reginald Dumas was born in Trinidad and Tobago in 1935 and attended Queen’s Royal College, Port of
Spain, Cambridge University and the Institut Universitaire de Hautes Etudes Internationales, Geneva.
He spent more than 30 years in the Public Service, both at home and abroad, and is the only person from
Trinidad and Tobago to have been Ambassador to Washington (the country’s top diplomatic post) and to the
Organization of American States. Uniquely among Caribbean writers, Dumas looks at the region and the
world as diplomat, public servant and citizen.
In a bookshop not so long ago I came upon copies of Books IV and V of Nelson’s
West Indian Readers. I went rapidly through them and was struck almost
immediately by three things: first, that Thomas Nelson & Sons Ltd., publishers
of the books, had representatives in Trinidad and Tobago (at 77 Coffee Street,
San Fernando); secondly, that the editions of the books I was looking at had
appeared as recently as 1972; and thirdly, that these editions appeared not
to vary one iota from the ones I remembered having to use more than thirty
years ago at elementary school in rural Trinidad. My curiosity whetted, I
bought a copy of each of the books.
I have now read the books and indeed discovered their texts unchanged. I have
learnt, to my horror, that the books (and Books I, II and III as well) are
not only still in use in schools in Trinidad and Tobago, they are positively
sought after by teachers and pupils. I am horrified because although the books
do contain matters that are of general value to a child growing up in Trinidad
and Tobago they cannot, it seems to me, given the era and circumstances in
which they were written and the consequent attitudes and motives of their
author, logically be of psychological benefit to the young citizen of Trinidad
and Tobago in the context of the development of a national Republicanism.
Let me give you one example.
At pages 247-48 of Book IV appears the text of one of the archetypal colonial
songs, ‘Rule Britannia!’ We are reminded that when Britain first ‘arose
from out the azure main’ it was ‘at Heaven’s command’ and that ‘the Muses
… shall to [her] happy coast repair’– that ‘Blest Isle, with matchless
beauty crown’d, And manly hearts to guard the fair.’ The introduction to
the song, which is on page 247, tells us that the ‘sun never sets on the
British Empire’ and that the song itself ‘although not the finest poetry … is
full of pride for Britain’s greatness, and expresses thoughts we should all
cherish.’ Of course.
But worse, far worse than the absurd and patronizing Euro-centricity of the
books is the subtle incitement to racial separation and contempt (and self-
contempt), and we can perhaps understand a little better when we read the
books as carefully and dispassionately as possible how influenced, indeed
distorted, our minds have been over the years, given especially that the
whole series of books is and has been used precisely at the most receptive
stage of a child’s psychological formation. On pages 130-32 of Book V we read
(the extract is from a lesson entitled ‘Port of Spain in 1869’, itself an
extract from Kingsley’s ‘At Last’):
On the doorsteps sit negresses in gaudy print dresses, with stiff turbans
(which are, according to this year’s fashion, of chocolate and yellow silk
plaid painted with thick yellow paint, and cost in all some four dollars),
all aiding in the general work of doing nothing; save where here and there
one sells, or tries to sell, sweetmeats, strange fruits and junks of
sugar-cane, to be gnawed by the dawdlers in mid-street, while they carry
on their heads everything and anything, from half a barrow-load of yams
to a saucer or a beer-bottle.
When you have ceased looking at the women and their ways, you become aware
of the strange variety of races which people the city. Here passes a coolie
Hindu, with nothing on but his dhoti round his loins, and a scarf over his
head; a white-bearded, delicate-featured old gentleman, his thin limbs and
small hands and feet contrasting strangely with the brawny negroes round.
There comes a bright-eyed young lady, probably his daughter-in-law, hung
all over with bangles, in a white muslin petticoat, crimson cotton-velvet
jacket, and green gauze veil, with her naked brown baby astride on her
hip; a clever, smiling, delicate little woman, who is quite aware of the
brightness of her own eyes.
And who are these three boys in dark blue coatees and trousers, one of whom
carries, hanging at one end of a long bamboo, a couple of sweet potatoes,
at the other possibly a pebble to balance them? As they approach, their
doleful visage betrays them. Chinese they are without a doubt.
There, again, is a group of coloured men of all ranks, talking eagerly,

business, or even politics; some of them as well dressed as if they
were fresh from Europe; some of them, too, six feet high, and broad in
proportion; as fine a race, physically, as one would wish to look upon;
and with no want of shrewdness either, or determination, on their faces:

a race who ought, if they will be wise and virtuous, to have before them
a great future.
See how many points are made in the first paragraph of the above extract: the
alleged penchant for vivid colours on the part of Africans and persons of
African origin; the apparent insistence of these people on keeping up with
fashion trends no matter how much such trends cost ($4.00 must have been
quite a bit of money in 1869) and how little work is done to be able to afford
them; the laziness, indeed the unthinking (hence non-European) reactions
of these people, these Pavlovian automata, in that they place ‘everything
and anything’ on their heads when often it might be so much better to hold
the things in their hands (all the foregoing perpetuating the myth of the
shiftless black with his animal reactions – does one remember how often the
late Baron Constantine was said to have ‘animal reflexes’ on the cricket field?
– unable to reason well, if at all. And happy with his up-to-date ‘threads’
of many colours costing money that he cannot afford. And this was 1869. And
Kingsley was a man of God, a clergyman. What is the position in 1976?) But
that is not all.
We read of the ‘coolie Hindu’. It may be argued that the word ‘coolie’ has
been used to apply not only to Indians and to persons of Indian origin but
generally to unskilled labourers (usually porters) from China, say, or from
Africa. But an argument as remarkable as that, which would appear to ignore
or play down the essential offensiveness of the term ‘coolie’, would in any
event be even more remarkable when applied to Trinidad and Tobago society,
and the following extract from Donald Wood’s Trinidad in Transition (Oxford
University Press, 1968) is directly relevant here:
But the real difference between Indian immigration and the others was a
cultural and not an administrative one. Concealed behind the term ‘coolie,’
with its derogatory undertones of ignorance and abject poverty, were men in
a social system which had only been touched superficially by their three and a
half centuries of European influence…. If Africans were regarded as clay which
could easily be moulded into a Christian and Western shape, the Hindus (and
Muslims) of India were more like a stone that could only be worked painfully
and with much toil. This was a reason, incidentally, why Christian ministers
in Trinidad looked at the influx of Indians with forebodings. Their pastoral
work seemed to have become infinitely complicated by the aloof obstinacy of
the Hindus whose practices would be a sad example to the Creoles ….
And Wood goes on:
There was another novelty that no one in Trinidad seems to have pointed
out. The balance of race relations was to be disturbed as the two existing
cultures, which were basically European and African, were joined by a
completely new one from Asia. The Indians, although Caucasians, were not
white; although sometimes darker-skinned than many Africans, they were not
negroid. They could not fit into the traditional interplay of European and
African in any predictable way. A new set of assumptions and antipathies was
brought into an already complicated situation when an alien high culture,
satisfied with its own values, was imported into a society where the dominant
Europeans were wanting, whether consciously or not, to fashion the Negroes
in their own image.
Do we need to continue to wonder why people of African origin in Trinidad

and Tobago persist in believing themselves to be the true ‘Trinidadians’
or ‘Creoles’ or ‘West Indians,” while those of Indian origin are held to
be ‘Indians’ or ‘East Indians’, with all the attendant connotations of
inferiority and alienness? Do we need to continue to wonder at the gap in
cultural perceptions between the two groups? Do we need to continue to wonder
why people of Indian origin were so jubilant at the recent Test Match victory
at the Queen’s Park Oval of the Indian cricket team? And why people of
African origin reacted in the way they did to such jubilation? Have we asked
ourselves how many young doglas2 we have seen recently? And I say nothing of
Kingsley’s ‘doleful’ Chinese and of his ‘coloured men… who ought, if they
will be wise and virtuous (my emphasis), to have before them a great future.’
We may no doubt hear that primary school Readers (Nelson’s New West Indian
Readers) have been prepared since independence by citizens of Trinidad
and Tobago and that these Readers, with their contemporary foci, are also
available for use. But several points at once arise: do these Readers cover
the full range of the original West Indian Readers? If not, why not? Why would
this not have been achieved in the nearly fourteen years since independence?
Why have the original Readers not been withdrawn from use pari passu with
the appearance of the new? Are the latter not good enough? If they are not,
why are they being used, merely to supplement the former or to satisfy what
may pass as national pride? Is such an attitude beneficial to the principle
and practice of nation-building?
And the young citizen has to absorb not only the original West Indian Readers
but also now the Caribbean Readers and the Trinidad and Tobago Readers.
The Caribbean Readers were apparently written by a Briton, certainly by
an Anglo-Saxon: the preface to Book V of the Readers tells us that the
Book’s purpose ‘is to present a connected story of the changing current
of influence which originally set in from east to west across the Atlantic,
with the discovery of America, became stronger and deeper during the next
two and a half centuries, then gradually began to change its direction,
and is now growing progressively stronger from west to east’. No one can
fail to understand what that statement means. Equally, no one can fail not
to understand why ‘the changing current of influence’ should inspire the
inclusion in the book of lessons on The Discovery of the North Pole, Hannah
Bint (from ‘Our Village’ by Mary Mitford, written in 1819 and glorifying
‘the lovely English countryside’), Darius’s First Week at Work (about the
‘sufferings of a child in an English factory in the nineteenth century) and

Winston Churchill, extracts from four of whose speeches to the British people
in 1940 and 1941 are given to ‘show what manner of man’ he was as a leader. It
was, I believe, the same Winston Churchill who in 1941 traded the use of the
Northwest peninsula of Trinidad for a few dilapidated American destroyers.
In 1976 (and the thirteenth impression of Book V of the Caribbean Readers
appeared in 1974) a child in Trinidad and Tobago is taught how great that
hyperimperialist was – he must be giggling in his grave at the irony of the
thing; he must be having another brandy, another cigar. His apologists will
of course say that it was he and his noble leadership that kept at bay, and
eventually turned back, the approaching menace of Fascism and ‘preserved
democracy’ for many parts of the world, including Trinidad and Tobago.
Perhaps, but should the child in Trinidad and Tobago not hear a little bit
more about Butler and Guppy and Marryshow and Bogle as well?
As for the Trinidad and Tobago Readers, any continuing and coherent relationship
between their texts and Trinidad is not always apparent – perhaps such a
relationship is not considered necessary. So that one reads of oil and the
Pitch Lake but in Book V (it is instructive to look, where possible, closely
at Book V of whatever series of Readers one is confronted with, though other
Books are enlightening too), in the section ‘Trinidad joins the World of
Flight’ (Tobago was apparently still doing its own thing with fishing-boats),
one hears of Pan American Airways and the Light Aeroplane Club – nothing of
Mikey Cipriani or of BWIA. And this book was reprinted in 1975. The author,
incidentally, is described as having ‘spent many years in the West Indies as
Head Teacher of a most progressive school and as a Lecturer at a Teachers’
College. This West Indian experience was the climax of sound professional
training and experience in England’. Which means, I suppose, that he or she
is non-West Indian, probably British. It is therefore not entirely surprising
that the anthology of poems in Book V contains not a single poem by a West
Indian. Poetry, I shall be told, is universal. Yes, but does the universe
now exclude the Caribbean?
Independence is not only a matter of a flag, an anthem, a motto and such

things as attendance at international conferences. Political independence
is to a large degree without value unless there is, to the extent possible,
economic, cultural and, above all, psychological independence. If we do not
all of us (it is no good speaking only of, and castigating, the government)
concentrate much more of our efforts on trying to understand our country and
our region and trying to maximize their resources, be such resources natural,
financial, human or other, we increase the risk of perpetuating the self-
contempt and self-denigration at which we are already so adept and of opening
the door wider to other aspects of the very destabilization process which so
exercises our minds these days.
In short, we allow the continuation of colonialism in a different guise. It

is what Sparrow was really singing about in ‘Dan is the man in the van’ and
what the Prime Minister was writing about in British historians and the West
Indies.
It is colonialism in a different guise, but it is still colonialism.
Notes
1. Book IV, for instance, contains interesting articles on tobacco and cigars and on
arrowroot in St. Vincent.
2. In Trinidad and Tobago, the offspring of a person of African origin and one of Indian
origin.
(Source - J. R. P. Dumas, ‘Nelson’s (and Other) Readers’, in In the Service of the Public,
Jamaica: Canoe Press, University of the West Indies, 1995, pp. 325-331.)
•
Critical Analysis of a Poem
Literary criticism has a long history and one might say that it has a two-fold purpose, namely
(i) to stimulate an appreciation of the intellectual productions of a society and (ii) to shape the
aesthetics and intellectual pursuits of the society. Constructive criticism of literary works is
therefore intended to make readers more sophisticated in their reading as well as to make writers
write better. Writing a literary essay also involves a process like that described in Section Four.
However, the student of literature is expected to know more about the subject than non-majors.
The student must be able to recognise, for instance, the differences between genres and to know
the features that characterise them. In addition, the student of literature is expected to have well
developed critical reading abilities and analytical skills.
When writing in literature courses, you must assume that the audience has some knowledge
about the subject but not the text in question. This will prevent the writer from getting bogged
down with the tedious retelling of the story or play in minute detail so that he or she can focus
on the evaluation of the text and how the different parts contribute to the meaning of the
whole. In doing so, the writer tries to find support from the text to substantiate the analysis
and appropriately sketches in the details about the action. The evaluation of the text must be
objective, so you must set aside biases in the interest of giving an honest appraisal of the text.
Poetry is written in a special language that is characterised by terseness, with diction rich in
connotative meaning, and figurative language that contributes to the meaning of the text. The
patterns are also rhythmic, and these features work together to create the dominant impression
or mood of the poem. In order to read poetry beyond a superficial level, the student of literature
must understand how subject, form, rhythm, diction, imagery and mood are integrated into an
artistic wholeness.
You must also know the difference between the different forms of poetry, e.g., narrative,
descriptive, lyrical, epic and so on. Knowledge of the terms commonly used in literary discourse
can help with the articulation of concepts; this is an ability that develops with increased exposure
to and familiarity with the discipline. More than this, however, you must be able to recognise the
features and characteristics, and to discuss their contribution to the work in an intelligent way.
Reading poetry for purposes of analysis demands a deep engagement with the text. As with the
essay, you should read the poem more than once before beginning to write.
• At the first reading try to get an idea of what the poem is about.
• Read the poem a second time and try to get a feel for the rhythm. The rhythm of the
poem results from the strong and weak stresses on the syllables of words in a line of
verse.
• Read a third time, more closely this time, paying attention to the meaning, to the words
used, the images and how these contribute to meaning.
You will need to reread the poem several times as you interrogate the text; the following are
questions you can ask as you read the poem.1
I. Subject of the poem
• Who is the speaker of the poem?

• To whom is the poem addressed?
• Is the subject matter public or private?
• What is the theme of the poem? (The controlling idea/message)
• What ideas (explicit and implicit) make the theme clear?
• Is the theme universal?
II. The sound pattern(s) of the poem
• Is there a distinctive rhythm in the poem?

• What is the rhythm like?
• Is the rhythm suited to the subject?
(Source - L M. McWatt and H. Simmons-McDonald, A World of Poetry for CXC, Heinemann, 2nd edition,
2003.)
• Has the poet used rhyme? (internal and end rhyme)

• Are there devices like alliteration and assonance in the poem?
• Does the rhyme help to make the meaning more transparent? How does it do so?
• Is the effect created by the rhyme satisfying to you?
III. The language of the poem
• Are the words in the poem mostly monosyllabic or polysyllabic?

• How does the choice of words affect the rhythm?
• Is the diction of the poem simple or complex? (i.e., level of sophistication of vocabulary
and phrasing)
• Does the poet use imagery in the poem?
• Is the imagery striking?
• Are the images integrated in the poem – or do they seem contrived?
• What functions does the imagery serve?
• Is the imagery original – or is it conventional (public)?
• Does the imagery contribute to the meaning and thematic content of the poem?
III. The mood and tone of the poem
• What is the dominant mood of the poem?

• Does the mood change? When? From what to what? How are the changes signalled?
• Is the mood reflective/thoughtful or emotional?
• Does the poet achieve a balance between reflection (thoughtfulness) and emotion?
• Is the tone conversational or formal?
• Is it light/flippant or serious?
• Is the tone ironic?
• Is it satirical or sincere?
General
• How do all the elements contribute to the effectiveness of the poem?

• Did you find the poem satisfying to read? Did you enjoy it?
If you ask these questions and jot down your reactions as you read, you will have several notes
from which you can begin to shape a draft for your critique. The next step is to organise your
ideas so that you can present a coherent discussion of the poem. The order in which we have
included the questions more or less follow a sequence for presenting the information. Use
the ideas for drafting, revising, proofreading and editing that are included in Section Four. In
addition to those mentioned for drafting, you will need to use quotations from the poem, make
reference to it and support your ideas so that the reader can evaluate your analysis.
The following example that we present was written by an unidentified student under examination
conditions. Specific questions were set on the poem and the responses reflect the focus of the
subparts of those questions for which the corresponding answers are given. Note the directness
of the responses; the student gets to the point immediately. Note also the use of supporting
detail from the text of the poem. We present the responses to part (b), (ii) (iii) and (v). The poem
is by Ian McDonald, a Guyanese poet.
God’s Work
Mister Edwards, more my good friend
Than gardener and handyman at home,
Served me well for half my life.
Prince, they called him, born about that colonial time:
I called him Mister Edwards until the hour he died. 5
Strong black face, handsome old man,
Ashy cap of curled short hair,
Never sick a day until a day he sick.
“Wind by the heart”, he said
But the heart was sound, too sound 10
It took months of agony to kill him
Ripping his guts away slowly
Until that strong, good man was nothing.
“God’s work”, he would say
When the rain pelted down 15
And floods rushed in the rivers
And storms lashed the tree-tops.
And “God’s work” now he said
When the pain wracked him
Spasms crumpling up his face 20

Sweat dripping in the effort to hold back
The gut-contracting cry not quite escaping.
“Prince Edwards, he too strong for cry”,
But his last day in my arms he cried.
“God’s work!” 25
God should play more.
(Source – “God’s Work”, in Mercy Ward, Cornwall: Peterloo Poets, 1988.)
The questions are:
b) With the help of a few brief quotes, show that the persona considered his relationship
with the sick man to have gone beyond the formal.
ii) What does the detailed physical description of the gardener (lines 6-13) have to do
with the rest of the poem?
iii) What can you tell about the character and the understanding of the gardener from
his own words as quoted in the poem?
v) What do the last lines (lines 25-26) mean, and how appropriate are they as a summary
of the persona’s feeling about the dying man?
The student’s analysis:
b)
The general tone of the poem - affection and respect for the sick man,
and a certain bitterness about his end - suggests a deeper relationship
than the mere employer-employee one. The persona describes Mister Edwards
as “more my good friend/Than gardener and handyman . . . .” in the first
couple of lines. The relationship is long-standing, “half [the] Life”
(1.3) of the persona. Further, the description of Mister Edwards in
health, and the account of his physical decay (11. 6-13) are full of
feeling for the “strong”, “handsome”, “good” person who accepts with
stoicism his undeserved fate. The most compelling evidence, though, that
the persona considered the association as more than a formal one is that
he (the persona) held the dying Edwards “in [his] arms” (1.23), a position
of some intimacy.
ii) The physical description in the second stanza serves several functions in
the poem. It develops the ideas introduced in the first stanza by revealing
more of this “good friend” and of “the hour he died”. The description
of Mister Edwards’ “strong black face” (1. 7) and “Ashy cap of curled
short hair” (1.8) echo and reinforce the moral attributes with which he
is endowed as one who was a “good friend” (1.1) who “served . . . well”
(1.3). The last line of the description combines the two aspects of his
nature-physical and moral-with the simple phrase “that strong, good man”
(1. 13). The account of his slow, painful death - “It took months of agony
to kill him” (1.11) is made the more poignant because of the picture of
Mister Edwards in health. His former vigour and beauty, combined with his
personal qualities cause the persona, and, I daresay, the reader, to see
the slow “ripping. . . away” of this man to “nothing” as the more awful
and unjust. This creates the right context for the final, bitter note of
the poem, “God should play more.”
iii) The gardener, judging from his language as quoted in the second stanza
and in line twenty-two, has not had much formal education. “Wind by the
heart” (1.9) is almost comical in the Caribbean context (of the reader in
this case) where persons of a certain generation and social class believe
‘gas’ or ‘wind’ in unlikely places to be the cause of most ailments. In
the poem, it is a touching addition to the suggestion that Mister Edwards
is a simple (that is, unsophisticated by Western standards) man with an
ironically mild sense of his condition. The resistance to pain and the
pride in his own fortitude is clear in “Prince Edwards, he too strong for
cry” (1.23) and here his level of education or superficial ‘simplicity’ is
made unimportant by the nobility of his sentiment and his “effort to hold
back/The gut contracting cry . . . .” (1.23) and probably death itself.
It is the repeated “God’s work”, however, that reveals most about Mister
Edwards – his faith, his optimism, and his Job-like stoicism in the face
of pain and misfortune.
v) “God’s work!” (1.24) is the persona’s cynical, perhaps even accusatory

cry at Heaven for having rewarded a good man with pain and death. The
epigrammatic, “God should play more” (1.25) is even more laden with
feeling. It suggests that the persona does not subscribe to the simple
faith of his employee-friend, and is almost contemptuous of the imagined
architect of such misfortune. The last lines are a rather laconic, abrupt
end to the story of Mister Edwards’ death, suggesting that his feelings
about the man are not, perhaps, what the poem is finally about. Rather,
through this particular personal tragedy he experiences the tragic irony
of existence.
Application: Critical Analysis of a Poem

1. Use the guide and checklist for reading a poem that we presented in this section to read
the following poem. Jot down notes as you read, then organise your ideas before you
write out the analysis which should be approximately 300 to 400 words.
Visions of Us …
as an old couple
soft in each other’s presence,
A living humming with the quality
of those village stores you hardly see now.
Bags of sugar with clusters of bees on them, 5
A smell that is the smell of everything:
onions and flour, saltfish, rice from Guyana,
the light – if i could just describe the light
and how protecting it was when i was a child,
how magical an onion bulb could look 10
on the grained gleaming counter.
Shops like these buzzed with conversation, hefting of boxes,
the thwack of hatchets into codfish bristling with salt,
stories continuing from the day before, the deep dizzying
smell of women full of man and child, their skin shiny with life, 15
dark in a golden light just beyond touching.
The shops held all that – comfortably,
like a sack casually holding 100 lb. of potatoes.
There’s no word for the subtle grandeur of such places.
Always, you miss it, like you miss 20
the ordinary massive beauty of the diurnal world.
But that quality,
vast richnesses in ordinary things,
is what I see
in visions of us, years from now,
as an old couple.
(Source - Kendel Hippolyte, St Lucia)
2. The following poem is written in a Caribbean dialect. Read the poem carefully and write
a critical analysis of it. The checklist of questions is also relevant in this case. Consider
among other things who the speaker is, the speaker’s feelings about the subject, what is
the occasion for the poem; what is the mood; consider in particular the language of the
poem and whether any special effects are gained by the use of a dialect in this case.
Grampa
Look him. As quiet as a July river-

bed, asleep, an’ trim’ down like a tree.
Jesus! I never know the Lord could
squeeze so dry. When I was four
foot small I used to say 5
Grampa, how come you t’in so?
An’ him tell me, is so I stay
me chile, is so I stay
laughing, an’ fine
emptying on me – 10
laughing? It running from him
like a flood, that old molasses
man. Lord, how I never see?
I never know a man could sweet so, cool
as rain; same way him laugh, 15
I cry now. Wash him. Lay him out.
I know the earth going burn
all him limb dem
as smooth as bone,
clean as a tree under the river 20
skin, an’ gather us
beside that distant Shore
bright as a river stone.
(Source - Dennis Scott, Jamaica, in Uncle Time, University of Pittsburgh Press.)
3. You may sometimes be asked to compare poems, perhaps for different treatment of
the same subject. The two poems that follow are both about the death of a pet. Read
both poems and write an analysis in which you compare how each poem deals with the
subject matter. Consider also the other features that you would normally consider in
analysing poetry. Use the questions listed to check your work.
Pet’s Death Ted
A truck crept The rabbit died this morning,
into our driveway, To be precise, it was killed –
but caught him murdered by some unknown predator
in its rear wheels. invading its sacred space.
And even while we slept 5
IT shred its perfect head to ribbons.
5 We buried him
under the twin maples The children called it Ted.
in our back yard. Not an interesting name for a rabbit
Let this be a lesson, not as colourful as Silky, Flopsy,
Cottontail or Mopsy; or 10
my father said, some such name for others of its kind.
10 but for nights I heard
my dog clawing his way out until, But he responded with dignity
one morning, his grave standing on his hind legs
when we called TED.
was sunken
But it was only rain Until that day he’d romped unchallenged.
15 during the night, I’d watch him sitting in the citrus shade
my father said, and threw down his jowls cascading to his paws
a few shovels of dirt. beneath a bored yawn, 15
But I continued. then a streak of white and he’d be gone.
to dream him:
20 he was dirty and wet, I had not thought that such a mind less soul
could hook its paws around my heart,
but he slept but as I stood and watched his scattered fur
as he slept in his shed, the torrents came 20
curled in his corner and all that day it rained.
like a possum
(Source - William Heyen, U.K., (Source - Hazel Simmons-McDonald, St

in Long Island Light: Poems Lucia, in The Literary Review, 4, p.
and a Memoir, Vanguard Press, 1979.)

The Literary Essay

547.)
•
A good critical analysis of a literary work, a novel or a play or a poem depends partly on the
student’s knowledge of the structure of texts. Everyone who has read literary texts has, over
time, developed schemata of the structure of the novel or play. As a student of literature you are
likely to have more highly developed schemata and prior knowledge about literary genres. When
you pick up a new novel or play to read, you activate prior knowledge about the genre in question
and about the structure of literary texts. This knowledge can facilitate the understanding of the
new text that you are going to study. You can place the new, unfamiliar work within a general
context in which you can approach the analysis.
If one were to draw a diagram or a semantic map of the structure of such a work it might
look something like the map (Figure 2) in Section Four. Familiarity with a basic structure such
as we have represented in the map can help you to determine whether the work that you are
reading has a conventional structural pattern or whether the writer has manipulated some of
the structural features to create different effects. Let us discuss the basic structural features that
you must know. We will use Figure 1 on page 448 in this chapter, as our frame of reference.
The numbers in the boxes are not intended to indicate an order of importance or a sequence
for discussion. They are merely to facilitate cross referencing with the text discussion. Box 1
simply indicates that the text in question may be a novel or a play. The work has several parts or
components.
2. Characters - the people in the play or the novel, the ‘actors’ (who) behave in certain ways
and do certain things.
3. The plot - (what) happens in the drama or narrative fiction. This will be the events which
include or are determined by the actions of the people in the story or the play. There
is usually a discernible arrangement of events that characterise the development of
the action in the literary work. The elements of the structure (3) of the work are the
exposition (3a) which consists of the setting (where) and time (when). The action structure
which in a play (typically) has a complication (3b) that might have its origins in the
exposition and marks the start of the rising action (3c), the climax which is the high
point of the action and the denouement (3e) or the resolution of the conflict.
4. The term theme is used to refer to the central message or idea of the text, and this is often
implicitly conveyed through character and/or plot.
5. The language of the text is a component that we have added. It is not usually indicated as a
separate feature of a literary work, but we have included it since it is the vehicle through
which writers express their ideas and which they manipulate to create a rich texture.
Some writers use more sophisticated diction than others and a good analysis of a literary
work will normally contain a commentary on the writer’s use of language.
You will observe in the diagram that we have included the ‘reporter’s questions’ (who, what, when,
where, why and how) in relevant boxes. This is because, as we have suggested earlier, one can always
ask questions as a starting point for exploring a text. Recall that in the previous section we
stressed the necessity of critical reading as a pre-writing activity. We start with characters here
(although you may begin at any point of the plot structure that you wish) and ask:
• who are the characters (the people) in the literary work?

• how are they portrayed by the writer?
A literary work usually has principal (major) and less important (minor) characters. The hero or
heroine (referred to as ‘the protagonist’) in literary discourse is usually a major character whose
fortunes we follow throughout the story or play. In analysing character we are interested in
finding out what kind of people they are, what values they have. As readers, we pay attention to
the dialogue, to what the characters say and to what others say about them. We also examine how
they are revealed in their relationships with others.
We tend to identify with certain characters and we dislike others; in other words, we react to
them in much the same way that we do to people in real life. The more believable the characters
are, the easier it is for us to accept them and their actions. Characters that are complex (round)
are easier to believe in than two-dimensional (or flat) characters. Complex characters usually
change as the action progresses and as a result of the events in the narrative or play (consider,
for example, Macbeth’s progressive change to evil or the change in Dorian Grey); in other
characters the change may be from innocence to experience, or from being passive and accepting
to becoming more assertive. Annie John is an example of the latter. Annie John shifts from a
girl who identified with her mother at the beginning of the novel to one who asserts herself in
reaction to her mother by the end of it.
As readers, we expect the actions of the characters to be motivated and to seem plausible and
consistent with what has been established in the work. The events that transpire in the literary
work can trigger change in character, but we must be able to see the motivation for change. If
characters change suddenly, we are less likely to believe in them; they become less believable.
Readers need to understand the motivation for change. Asking questions about the changes that
have occurred and why they have occurred can lead to a better understanding of characters.
Some of the minor characters serve as contrasts or foils to the major character. For example,
in Hamlet, Laertes is a foil to Hamlet. Other minor characters serve to make the setting more
realistic; they provide background, to make the world which is being described seem more real.
Often, the clarity with which some of these minor characters are drawn is effective enough to
make them memorable. One can generate a list of questions that can be asked about character
as a means of gaining some insight into them.
I. Checklist of questions for characters
• Who are the characters in this work?

• Which ones are the major and which the minor characters?
• Who is the protagonist in this work?

• Is there someone (an antagonist) opposed to the main character?
• Is there a conflict between the protagonist and antagonist?
• What is the nature of the conflict between them?
• How are the characters portrayed by the writer?
• What are the qualities (traits) of the characters?
• What are their values and beliefs?
• Are all the characters believable?
• Do they act in ways that we can understand and accept?
• What are the motivations for their actions – why do they behave in the ways that they
do?
(1)
TEXT
(Play/Novel)
(2) (3) (4) (5)

Characters Plot (What) Techniques Language of
(Who) (How) the text
Plot structure
• point of view • syntax
Theme • irony symbol • diction
(Why) • symbol • imagery
• figurative
• language
I I
3 (a) 3 (b) 3 (c)
Exposition Complication Rising action
I I I I
I • events • action/characters
I I • increasing tension
Setting/Place Time (when)

(where) • historical I
• sequential 3 (d) Climax
• high point
• decisiive action
3 (e) Denouncement
• resolution of conflict
• conclusion
Figure 1
If you refer to Figure 1 once more, you will note that the question word what relates primarily
to plot, to what happens in the literary work. In analysing the plot we seek to understand what
happened and why the events took place; we also try to determine how the events are sequenced.
Writing a good critical analysis of a literary work will depend partially upon knowing the
difference between retelling the story, giving a chronological regurgitation of the events, and
being able to discuss how the writer has structured the plot and why certain things happen.
In literary discourse, the following terms (a) exposition, (b) complication, (c) rising action,
(d) climax and (e) denouement are used to label the components of plot or action structure
of a play or novel. If you look at Figure 1, you will see this represented as the entire set of
clusters emerging from the plot/plot structure node, and graphically set off below the other
components. This is not to suggest a subordinate position. Remember that the entire work is
(or should be) integrated, that characters make action/events happen, that as we read about the
events and characters we get a sense of the theme, and that the techniques are the ways in which
the writer chooses to present the various elements of the work. The diagram allows you to see
the significant parts on which you need to focus. It gives you a framework for examining a text.
As you read critically to evaluate the text, ask questions about the components and jot down
your reactions about the specific text that you are reading. Technically, you should be able to
subsume specific points under each note that will spell out the details for a given text. We will
now summarise the essential features of the other components.
The exposition (3a) refers to the background events that are necessary for the reader to
understand the main event of the work. The writer usually presents the characters, the place
(setting) and (time) in the exposition. For a work that begins in medias res (in the middle of the
action), the writer will sketch in the important background information as the opening scene
or series of events unfold. For example, in Shakespeare’s As You Like It, the characters are in
the forest of Arden and, through Adam, we learn much of the background information that
we need to understand why the characters are in that setting. The same structure is evident in
Romeo and Juliet which begins with a street fight between servants of the Montagues and Capulets
and the audience/reader learns about the feud through dialogue. In the exposition, then, we
get a sense of who the characters are, of the time and place of the action and of the essential
background information that we need to understand the main event.
The setting is the place where the action takes place. There may be a general setting, for example,
a particular country, and localised settings where individual scenes take place. The action happens
somewhere; scenes shift from one locale to another. Most of the action of As You Like It takes
place in the forest of Arden; for Hamlet, it is Denmark, mostly the castle in which Claudius,
Gertrude and Hamlet and their courtiers live. In the novel The Chosen Place, the Timeless People, by
Paule Marshall, the setting is the island of Barbados. The physical setting of a literary work is
important not only because it helps us to imagine the scene of the action, but also because in
some literary works the writers use the setting to create the dominant atmosphere of the story
or play.
The time establishes when the action takes place. We can refer to historical time, that is, the
period in which the action took place – e.g., in The Chosen Place, the Timeless People it is fairly
modern times, in A House for Mr Biswas it is Trinidad in the 1930s or so, in The Miller’s Tale it is
Medieval England. We can also refer to sequential time, that is, the time sequence of the events
of the particular text. The literary essay must comment on these elements of the work being
evaluated. You can ask several questions to help you focus more closely on these elements.
II. Checklist of questions for exposition (setting: place & time)
• Where does this story/play take place?

• When does the action happen?
• How are the events of the action sequenced?
• How much of the background information does the writer present in the opening
scenes?
• How is this information presented?
Application: The Literary Essay

Select any two texts (2 plays or 2 novels) that you have to study for one of your literature
courses and compare the authors’ treatment of setting. Which characters are introduced in the
exposition? What do you learn about them in the opening scenes/chapter(s)? Where and when
does the action take place?
The terms we use in Figure 1 have been in existence for a long time – Aristotle, for instance, used
•
the term ‘complication’ to refer to the rising action of a drama. The terms were first coined with
reference to drama, but they have been used increasingly to refer to a wider variety of literary
works from other genres, the novel in particular. The complication (3b) signals the introduction
of conflict, a disruption with which the protagonist must come to terms. One often gets hints of
an emerging conflict from early in the work. The rising action presents the developing conflict
and is characterised by an increase in tension between characters. For example, in Julius Caesar it
involves the conspiracy to kill Caesar, commencing with the efforts of Cassius to turn Brutus
against Caesar by convincing him that Caesar is ambitious, of the danger of this. The action
becomes more intense with the meeting of the conspirators at the house of Brutus on a night
on which several portents are seen (these foreshadow Caesar’s death) and climaxes in the death
of Brutus in Philippi. There are different kinds of conflict; in some works the conflict is internal,
within the protagonist – a conflict that might involve a choice between good and evil or the
overcoming of seemingly insurmountable odds. Other conflicts are like those that real people
face in real life, for instance gender issues male/female relationships.
The denouement involves the resolution of the conflict: it shows what happens to the characters.
It may be brief or it may run for several scenes (as in the case of Julius Caesar). In some works
the climax may come at the very end, but even when it does, the reader has some idea of what
the resolution is.
Foreshadowing is a device used by the writer as a means of increasing the tension of a literary
work. Foreshadowed events serve the purpose of signalling to readers the events that are to
follow. In some instances they are ominous, as in the case of Julius Caesar in which Caesar’s
death is foreshadowed by several events which include the portents that are commented on:
“…the heav’ns themselves blaze forth the death of princes” (Calpurnia’s dream). Sometimes,
the foreshadowing comes in the form of prophetic comments. When doing a critical analysis
of a text, it is important to examine the plot to determine whether the writer has included these
features and to assess their function and effectiveness in the literary work.
III. Checklist of questions for exposition
• Does the writer use setting to create a dominant atmosphere or mood?

• What is the atmosphere?
• In what ways is the setting significant to the work?
• Is it critical to the lives and experiences of the characters? How is it so?
• What is the overall contribution of the setting to the literary work?
Other questions that can be asked about plot structure
• Are the events that are included relevant and essential to the development of the plot?
• Are the characters manipulated by the writer?
• Is the plot unified?
• Is the ending contrived – or does it emerge naturally from the events that the writer
presents?
Theme
The theme is often implied in a literary work or it may also be explicit. The theme is the writer’s
comment on life, living, on human existence in general. The theme may be indirectly revealed
through any of the components of the work such as character and plot. The theme can be
about anything that concerns us as human beings. It is very often about love, death, birth, and
sometimes it is about redemption, sex, guilt, etc. Some thematic concerns are also social and
moral issues. The theme is the means by which we gain insight into the meaning of the story or
play. Discovering why the characters and events are presented in the way that they are and what
is the significance of the actions of the characters and the events can help you to focus on the
theme, to find out what comment is being made about the human condition by the writer. We
can determine the writer’s outlook on life from the events that are presented, from the way in
which they are presented, from the attitudes of the characters, from the ending of the story or
play. The following questions can help you get at the theme of a literary work.
IV. Checklist of questions for determining the theme.
• What is the essential message that the writer is sending in this work?
• Is it a statement about love, life, sex, guilt?
• Is the writer making a comment about a social, ethical or political issue?
• How is the theme being underscored in the work?
• Does the writer reveal the theme through characterisation or plot?
• What are the events that affect the main character?
• Does the protagonist change, and if so, what is the nature of that change?
• What is to be learned from the ‘fortunes’ of the protagonist?
• Are there forces to be overcome by the protagonist? What is the nature of these forces?
• Do other characters struggle against the same forces?
• How do they compare with the protagonist in the handling of these forces?
• What view of life is being portrayed in the work? Is it optimistic or pessimistic?
• Is there more than one theme? What are the other themes? Which are the primary ones?
Application: Theme
Apply the questions in the checklist to the two works that you selected for the previous
application and jot down the answers that you come up with. Write a statement in which you
indicate your understanding about the themes of the two works. Compare your comments with
those of a classmate. Do you agree on what the themes are? If you do not, where do you differ?
Find appropriate evidence from the texts to justify your statement about the thematic content.
•
Technique
The question word how, as it relates to what the writer does with the literary work, helps us to
focus on the narrative or dramatic techniques used by the writer. Perhaps the most obvious
question is – How is the story told? A story is always told by someone, and writers can select the
someone to whom they wish to narrate their stories. You will recall from Section Three that we
presented information about point of view. Work through the following application before you
continue reading.
Application: Point-of-view
1. Review Section Three, Chapter 11 on point of view and write an account of the
different types of point of view commonly found in narration; indicate the advantages
and disadvantages of each.
2. Write out brief definitions of the following:
(a) omniscient narrator (b) third-person limited point of view.
3. Refer to two novels that you need to study in one of your literature courses and
determine the point of view which is employed. Add the following checklist to those
already provided in this section and use them to evaluate the texts for point of view.
• What point of view has the author selected in this text?
• What is gained from the particular point of view that is used?
• Does the writer use multiple perspectives?
• Is the narrator of the work reliable?
• Is the point of view that is used plausible and consistent?
Irony
•
Irony is a technique that is achieved through various means, and different types of irony are
referred to in literary discourse. The utterances we use can have literal and non-literal meaning,
and irony is an example of the latter. Basically, irony is the difference between what is and what
seems to be. Writers use verbal irony – a form of irony in which what is implied in the statement
is different in meaning from what is actually said. The audience and the speaker of the ironic
utterance are aware of the double meaning of the utterance but others involved in the action are
not. In another form of irony structural irony – the events, circumstances or actions carry the
irony. Writers can use character in ironic ways, as, e.g., in the case where the narrator of events
of the story is not perceptive and misjudges others and their actions, including his or her own.
Some writers may create a character with such simplicity that his or her naivete becomes the
vehicle through which the irony is expressed. The narrator may be unaware of the wisdom of
some of his or her observations and in making pronouncements presents a point of view that
is consistent with that of the author. This kind of character is referred to in literary discourse as
the fallible narrator. The difference between this kind of irony and verbal irony lies in the fact
that the audience is aware of the author’s intention but the naive speaker is not.
In dramatic irony which is yet another kind of irony found mostly in plays, the audience and
the author share knowledge in a given situation and this knowledge is not shared by a character.
This is the case in Oedipus Rex and also in several of Shakespeare’s works. In your analysis of a
text you must develop a critical acumen which will allow you to recognise the devices that are
used by the author. Become engaged in the text and interrogate it to probe the deeper meanings.
Writing the Literary Essay

The pre-writing activity involves a critical reading of the text along the lines that we have
suggested. If you asked yourself questions as you read, you should have copious notes which
you must sort out and organise for shaping into a first draft of your essay. You can use outlining
or any of the other strategies we discuss in Section Four to organise your ideas. Before you
actually begin to write, you should go over your notes and reread parts of the text on which you
are not clear. Then you can proceed to develop your ideas for the essay.
1. Select a manageable topic if your instructor did not assign one.

2. Formulate a thesis for the essay (use the guides for thesis statement).
3. Draft the essay, being sure to use supporting examples from the text.
4. Be consistent in your use of reporting tense. You may use the historic present or the
past, but you should use one or the other consistently. For instance, if you use the
historic present, your text will read something like the following: Merle Kimbona, the heroine
of Paule Marshall’s The Chosen Place, the Timeless People is an enigmatic character. She is
the epitome of… If you decided to use the past your text would read something like the
following: Merle Kimbona, the heroine of … was an enigmatic character who epitomised….
5. Revise, proofread and edit the first draft of your essay and rewrite sections that need to
be rewritten until the essay is in a good shape to be submitted.
The following literary essay was written by a student. In the essay Helen C. compares two tragic
heroes. As you read the essay, see whether you can determine the following.
• What is the thesis of Helen’s paper?

• What strategies does she use for effective presentation?
• What questions must she have asked of the texts to derive the focus for the essay?
• What comments would you make to Helen as a peer editor who was asked to provide
feedback on this essay?
Student essay: Othello and Willy Loman – tragic heroes or tragic fools?
Discuss.
... Captain Ahab stood erect, looking straight out beyond the ship’s ever-
pitching prow. There was an infinity of firmest fortitude, a determinate,
unsurrenderable wilfulness, in the fixed and fearless, forward dedication
of that glance. Not a word he spoke. Nor did his officers say aught to him
.... But those wild eyes met his, as the bloodshot eyes of the prairie
wolves meet the eye of their leader, ere he rushes on at their head in
the trail of the bison; but, alas! Only to fall into the hidden snare of
the Indian. .... moody stricken Ahab stood before them with a crucifixion
in his face; in all the nameless regal overbearing dignity of some mighty
woe.1
In this description of Ahab, Melville has managed to capture many of the

elements which most forcefully impress me as the main elements of tragic
heroism versus folly in Othello2 and Death of a Salesman:3 an almost insane
and definitely sincere determination in the face of seemingly insurmountable
and soul-destroying odds; a nobility of cause or character; a susceptibility
to erroneous courses due to his noble nature; a capacity to retain a
completeness of spirit and a dedication to his ideals at the end of the play,
as well as the capacity to convey movingly and convincingly to an audience
the tragedy of his predicament.
It is this type of character that the playwright selects for the position of
principal tragic character and even this selection is very important. Laertes,
Cleopatra and Gloucester, et al, are all tragic figures, all may be said to
initiate and/or make significant contributions to their personal tragedy in
the plays, and certainly, all are portrayed as strong and determined, but
the plays only concentrate on the fate, actions and character of a Hamlet,
Antony, or Lear.4 Many readers, more so than audiences, tend to forget that,
despite Willy Loman’s relatively insignificant status in life, he and he
alone is the character whose thoughts, feelings and actions must necessarily
dominate the play; this fact in itself gives him the stature of a king, or
of any person who is singled out for greatness. The fact that he is the main
character allows the tragic hero the opportunity to persuade the audience
of his tragic status. To this end, he must possess a relatively sympathetic
personality, and, unlike the Shakespearean Fool and the ordinary fool, a
capacity to elicit strong emotional responses from the audience. He must
demonstrate intensity, sincerity and profundity of feeling, desire or love

for someone or something so that the audience recognises and enters into his
agony over the loss or death of the person or thing to which this profound
feeling was directed. Similarly, they should feel, among other things, that
when he dies “The breaking of so great a thing/ Should make/ A greater
crack.” (Antony and Cleopatra: Act IV:xv.)5
Few critics find it difficult to acknowledge that Othello elicits strong

sympathetic responses from an audience or that he loves Desdemona passionately:
Oth. It gives me wonder great as my content

To see you here before me: my soul’s joy,
If after every tempest come such calms,
May the winds blow, till they have waken’d death,
... If it were now to die,

’Twere now to be most happy, for I fear
My soul hath her content so absolute,
That not another comfort, like to this
Succeeds in unknown fate. (Act 11.1. 183-186,
189-193.)
For those who would contest this we can point out that the torment that
Iago puts Othello through could not exist without this great love. Also, few
tragic characters in Shakespeare have been given speeches which can rival this
moving cri de coeur of Othello’s. The knowledge of Desdemona’s infidelity, the
mistaken belief of Othello’s which initiates the tragic sequence and ends in
his suicide, is at the heart of the tragedy of Othello. But the agony that
this ‘knowledge’ brings with it would be either ludicrous as is Roderigo’s
declaration that he will kill himself because he cannot have Desdemona (Act
I. III. 305-310) – or non-existent if Othello were not torn apart by the
agonising choice between love and duty. He even links the idea of jealousy
with love (Act III. iii. 196.) as if the two were equally tormenting in his
dilemma, for the one is contingent on the other. Othello does actually kill
himself when Desdemona is out of his reach forever, providing a valuable
contrast with the insincerity of the character who is the real tragic fool
of the play – Roderigo.
There are two types of tragic fool that concern us. Firstly, there is the
Shakespearean Fool who is shrewd, a good judge of character and irrepressibly
witty but who is caught in the tragic dramatic action. The Fool in King
Lear is an example of this type; one critic has suggested that he approaches
heroic status:
And in remaining by Lear, the fool violates his own sense of prudence. If
this is not devotion, it is the next best thing. Walking clear-eyed into
the stormy night and to his probable death on the heath he comes as close
as any fool ever does to the heroic.6
However, the Fool sees too clearly and experiences much less agony than does
Lear, the real tragic hero. We can say that the tragic hero’s admirable
and sympathetic qualities do not include common sense and cool detachment
from the misery around or within him. He is “wrought,/Perplex’d in the
extreme” (Act V. ii. 346-347)7 and he conveys his distress convincingly to
the audience. The Fool’s glib attitude in the face of catastrophic adversity
and his short-lived appearance in the play disqualify him for the role of
tragic hero.
The ordinary fool is simply a character whose stupidity is laughable to the

audience though perhaps embarrassing to him. Unlike the Shakespearean Fool
he takes himself seriously but unlike the tragic hero, he does not have
the playwright’s help in persuading the audience that he should be taken
seriously. It follows that the playwright draws the tragic character in such
a way that he and his preoccupations will be taken seriously by the audience.
Shakespeare provides us with a valuable point of comparison within the play.
We can see that Roderigo deserves much more than Othello the epithets “gull”
and “dolt” that Emilia throws at Othello. We feel, even though we realise
Othello has murdered a perfectly innocent woman who was devoted to him, that
someone needs to defend him from Emilia’s harsh and uncomprehending insults,
and perhaps point out to her the part her own ‘folly’ of not clarifying the
‘handkerchief incident’ has played in the tragedy.
Shakespeare has constructed the play in such a way that we are unable to call
Othello a tragic fool in the sense that Roderigo and Polonius would be tragic
fools. Roderigo even more than Polonius, for Roderigo alone is privy to the
vindictive, cunning side of Iago’s nature in a way that Othello is not. It
is to Roderigo that Iago says:
I follow him to serve my turn upon him:

You shall mark
Many a duteous and knee-crooking knave …
Whip me such honest knaves: others there are,
Who, trimm’d in forms, and visages of duty,
Keep yet their hearts attending on themselves,
…
and when they have lim’d
their coats,
Do themselves homage …
And such a one do I profess myself, …
Heaven is my judge, not I for love and duty,
But seeming so, for my peculiar.
For when my outward action does demonstrate
The native act, and figure of my heart,
In complement extern, ‘tis not long after,
But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve,
For doves to peck at: I am not what I am. (Act I.
i. 42-45, 49-55, 59-65).
Even after this extraordinarily disturbing revelation of character, Roderigo

still follows Iago’s dictates! It is a loyalty based on an ignoble infatuation
with Desdemona (she is, after all, married to another man; even Richard of
Gloster did not approach Anne until after he had engineered the death of
her husband!) Which results – quite properly – in his death. We cannot ever
be charitable and call him simply blind, for he has the true Iago revealed
before him in both word and deed. Roderigo is truly a fool in its most
derogatory sense, a fool who, stupidly, does not realise that he is a crucial
cog in a greater tragic machinery created by Iago. In short, when this type
of fool dies he merits only the contempt of the audience: we feel he is too
foolish to be deliberately and dangerously evil and so he would only be a
waste of energy to hate, conversely, he is too narrow-minded to be admired.
This reaction is the opposite of what Shakespeare wishes us to feel about
Othello as a character and about his death. We don’t laugh at him alive or
dead, though we may experience a sense of relief when he dies, which is part
of the Aristotelian theory of catharsis; we are glad that his torment (and
ours) is at an end and we realise he would not be a fully tragic hero, in
the strictly dramatic sense, if he could go on living after such a horrific
and agonising experience. Above all, we must have an “agonistic sense of his
tragedy”.8
Similarly, the suicide of Willy Loman creates a release which is linked to

our experience of tragic moments on the stage. In a very real sense, whenever
the tragic hero dies or realises the extent of the consequences arising from
his actions – therefore leaving him only two contingencies: death or suicide
- we are released from the horror-after-horror tragic sequence.
Another important element of the tragic hero (briefly mentioned in the second
paragraph of this essay) is that he must initiate the tragic dramatic action
or significantly contribute to this action. Also, if Fate determines the
course of events, then the tragic hero must be the character whose life
is targeted for tragedy. This, among other things, is why Willy and not
Charley, although a salesman, experiences tragedy. We can also determine
whether a character is a tragic hero by examining the magnitude of the “sea
of troubles”9 that assails him. The playwright or author and life as they
represent it, single the tragic hero out for ‘trials and tribulations’ and,
implied in this selection is the assumption that he is, if not equal to
the task of surmounting his problems, at least able to put up a good fight
however futile and/or express his pain eloquently. Both Willy and Othello
have formidable dilemmas to deal with. Willy’s situation is more complex
than Othello’s – and for this reason I find it hard to believe that any critic
would think Willy any less a tragic hero than Othello. Heroism is measured
by the difficulty of the situation with which the tragic hero has to contend
and how heroically he deals with this situation. That Willy Loman can say,
at the end of his broken life and various humiliations at the hands of his
children and his former employer, “I am not a dime a dozen! I am Willy Loman
…!” is not a delusion; it is an achievement and a heroic commitment to the
preservation of identity in a system which dehumanises men who do not achieve

outstanding material success.
Charley, a man whose advice to Willy about his sons is:
You take it too hard. To hell with it. When a deposit bottle is broken
you don’t get your nickel back. (Act 1. P.28.)
will not achieve heroic status in this play. Willy’s views are expressed in
his distress over the defects in his children:
Loaded with it. Loaded! Why is he stealing? He’s giving back, isn’t he?
Why is he stealing? What did I tell him? I never in my life told him
anything but decent things (Act 1. P. 26.)
The point here is not that he comes to an erroneous conclusion about his
actions but that he questions his actions at all. For this he is heroic. Only
he and Biff question the authenticity of promise of success and fulfilment
through approval endorsed by his society. Yet the tragic hero is not average
in either his dreams, his loves, his assailants, his mistakes or his agonised
repentance. Here, we can cite Willy’s “massive dreams” (Act I. P.2.), dreams
which are not simply dreams of a business or of his son’s material success,
but dreams of the fruition of the promise and potential of the Capitalist-All
American boy-salesman world order in which he lives and, more importantly,
which he has lived by and trusted implicitly all his life. He is never
successfully persuaded by any of the other characters in the play “to take
that phoney dream and burn it before something happens” (Act 11. p. 102.)
because it is inextricably linked to his understanding of his purpose in
life. He sacrifices himself for his sons and for the American Dream, what F.
Scott Fitzgerald called “the orgiastic future that year by year, recedes
before us.”10 Now, whether it is a dream to which he is sincerely dedicated,
which carries with it its own ancient code of honour and as such we call
Willy a tragic hero; he is a hero who shames the very order for which he gives
life by his questioning yet ultimately unselfish loyalty.
The tragic tale of Willy Loman, is in some degree, to use A.C. Bradley’s
words, “A tale … of a man worn slowly to death by … little cares, sordid
vices, petty persecutions.”11 They are, however, cares and persecutions which
are not “little” and “petty” to Willy Loman. His situation is actually
very complex. It is more accurately a tale of a man who still feels “kind
of temporary about [him]self” (Act I. P. 35.) And who, despite this, is
struggling heroically to achieve success and immortality (through his sons)
of a personal kind:
Willy: Like a young god. Hercules – something like that. And the sun,
the sun all around him. Remember how he waved to me? Right up from
the field, with representatives of three colleges standing by? And
the buyers I brought, and the cheers when he came out – Loman, Loman,
Loman! God Almighty he’ll be great yet. A star like that, magnificent,
can never really fade away! (Act I. P.49.)
It is difficult for the audience not to become caught up in the intensity

of Willy’s desperate dreams and this is at the core of my definition of the
tragic hero. If we learn nothing at the end of the play we learn that Willy
Loman loves his sons, that his life revolves around them. His last thoughts
are for Biff:
Willy: Oh Ben, I always knew one way or another we were gonna Make it,
Biff and I! (Act II. P 104.)
It is precisely because of this great love, the fact that he too is a victim
of the system that he reveres and his great conscience – his memories are
vivid reminders of the guilt he feels – that we can call him heroic. Also,
in Arthur Miller’s own “analysis of what it is that makes Willy into an
effective tragic hero”12:
… the fact that this man is actually a very brave spirit who cannot
settle for half but must pursue his dream of himself to the end …. Had
Willy been unaware of this separation from values that endure he would
have died contentedly while polishing his car,…. But he was agonized by
his awareness of being in a false position, so constantly haunted by the
hollowness of all he had placed his faith in, so aware, in short, that he
must somehow be filled in his spirit or fly apart, that he staked his life
on the ultimate assertion.
We also take into account the tragic dramatic irony inherent in the solitude
of the tragic hero on the stage. We must not forget that only the audience
and the readers can really know what he is experiencing at all times, whereas
the other characters – on whose reactions some critics too often judge him –
have a necessarily and comparatively limited knowledge and/or understanding
of the character. This is true of Othello whose profound sorrow can only
be fully understood by the audience who have seen both Iago’s brilliant
machinations and Othello’s agony over having to kill the woman he thought he
knew and whom he certainly loves. To know that Willy Loman alone has to bear
the burden of his decayed dreams and the memories of happier times that mock
his attempts to escape from reality, heightens the pathos.
Those critics who believe Willy Loman is a tragic fool rather than a tragic
hero will cite as his main follies his tendency to dwell in the past and
his obstinate refusal to admit to little facts such as Biff’s low rank in
Bill Oliver’s company (Act II. Pp. 80-82.), and large realities such as
his inability to produce effectively and provide for his family. Also,
his refusal to accept the job from Charley when he still accepts Charley’s
money. Why can’t he simply let go of the past, his perverse pride and his
children? We may as well ask, why can’t Hamlet forget about the ghost, return
to Wittenberg and just enjoy being a prince? Why can’t Othello ignore Iago
or leave Desdemona and start a new life somewhere else? But Willy cannot
forget the memories because his dreams are part of the past and part of him
and if he is unable to succeed he knows something must be wrong and this
causes him a great deal of anguish and painful self-examination. He alone,

at sixty-five years old, has to face the fact that things will not be achieved
in his lifetime because they are his dreams for him to perform, and even his
sons’ dreams depend on his failure or success as a father. For this reason
he declines Charley’s offer, because this acceptance would, for him seal the
tomb forever, giving an element of permanence to his failed existence. It is
also pride, a pride which even Charley comes to understand: “No man needs
only a little salary.” (Requiem p. 106.). In the same way, no man like Willy
needs only a little job, a little success, a little and belittling existence.
Othello’s problems do not relate to social status, but he is of “a free and

open nature” (Act I. iii. 397.) And this quality is used to his disadvantage.
However, the reasons for which Othello could be “as tenderly led by the
nose …./As asses are.” – which is often the most disturbing charge of folly
levelled at him – lie in a combination of understandable ignorance, great love,
masterful manipulation, understandable insecurity and unfortunate accidents
of Fate, some of which worked against him without Iago’s assistance, others
of which Iago exploited fully. It is also possible to counter those critics
who believe that Othello was guilty of gross folly in accepting Iago’s
‘proof’ of the lost handkerchief. Iago successfully ensures that Desdemona
will be speaking of Cassio and his reinstatement whenever she meets Othello.
He then prepares Othello, like any good director, for his role as jealous
husband:
That cuckold lives in bliss,

Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger:
But O, what damnéd minutes tells he o’er
Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!
(Act III. iii.171-174.)
He tells Othello that Cassio has the handkerchief and implies that this
is added proof that he and Desdemona have been intimate. This use of
the association technique – wherein Desdemona’s alleged infidelity becomes
associated strongly with the handkerchief – is crucial to Iago’s success.
Othello’s distracted speech in Act IV is exemplary:
Oth: Lie with, lie on her? – We say lie on her, when

they belie her, – lie with her, zounds, that’s
fulsome!
Handkerchief-confessions-handkerchief! To confess,
and be hanged for his labour. First, to be hanged,
and then to confess; I tremble at it. Nature would
not invest herself in such shadowing passion
without some instruction. Is it not words that
shake me thus? Pish! Noses, ears and lips. Is’t
possible?-Confess?-Handkerchief?-O devil! (Sc.i. 35-43.)
We see also in this speech, that Othello is heroically struggling to make sense
of the confusion and misery that is caused by what seems to be overwhelming
evidence against the woman he loves. Previously, Iago made another important
association, that if Desdemona does not have the handkerchief (and she does
not, he knows this) then Cassio must have it and if Cassio has it he must
have wiped his beard with it (Act III. ii. 445-446) and if he wiped his beard
with it then they must have been intimate. This is the logic that he has
prepared by hints and suggestions. Othello is, very humanly, convinced by the
sequence; and the confirmation of a certain event in the sequence (Desdemona’s
lack of the handkerchief) has the effect of making him think that the other
events are equally true. Added to this, are Desdemona’s persistent pleading
of Cassio’s suit and the universal belief that Iago is, if nothing else,
honest.
For my part I cannot call Othello a fool for believing in the honesty of a man
who is by all accounts honest. We have no reason to suspect that Othello is a
student of critical analysis or is privy to Iago’s true nature. Othello knows
five things: (1) Iago is honest even to a fault (Act II. iii. 212-215). – this
is the main premise upon which Othello’s credulity is based; (2) Desdemona
deceived her father, she is therefore indisputably capable of deception;
(3) their love is based on: “She lov’d me for the dangers I had pass’d/ And
I lov’d her that she did pity them.” (Act I. iii. 167-168); (4) Iago is a
Venetian and therefore knows Venetian women; and (5) white women of any class
– let alone the daughter of a senator respected by the Duke of Venice – do
not marry black mercenaries of their father’s age. (At least, they certainly
do not in the sixteenth century and not in The Merchant of Venice.) But from
justifiable suspicion to murder? Is not this folly? No, because for Othello it
is not murder but justice (Act V. ii. 16-17.) His reasons and his conflict lie
in that phrase, “Away at once with love or jealousy!” Othello sees Desdemona
as a Circe figure, a woman so well versed in the art of cunning deception that
she can persuade him to love her even in his moments of most bitter resolve:
A balmy breath, that doth almost persuade

Justice herself to break her sword …
Be thus, when thou are dead, and I will kill thee,
And love thee after …
So sweet was ne’er so fatal: I must weep.
But they are cruel tears; this sorrow’s heavenly,
It strikes when it does love ...(Act V. ii 16-22.)
To allow such a woman to live would not only be a torment to him but to other
men (Act v.ii.6.).
This of course would all be ludicrous and tragic only for Desdemona, if
Othello did not truly believe it; he believes truth is stranger than fiction
in this case. It is so irrational and impossible to his heart that he feels
he must not allow his blood to guide his safer rules. He kills her not in
rage and jealousy but in sorrow at his loss and anger that she still persists
in what he knows to be a lie. The ultimate tragedy and irony is that she is
innocent; he has destroyed his “soul’s joy” (Act II. i 184.) For nothing but
Iago’s perverted amusement.
For the audience to be amused at his ‘folly’ of making himself ‘“egregiously

an ass”’ (Act II. i. 304.) would demonstrate that their sympathies really lie
with Iago. Though, somehow I doubt that normal audiences would be inclined
to laugh with Iago at this great, tormented tragic hero. Perhaps the most
convincing proof of Othello’s status as a tragic hero is his death. Neither
he nor Willy allows himself “to fall into his grave like an old dog.” (D. S.
Act I. p.39.). Othello prefaces his self-inflicted demise with a resurgence
of “the old confidence” (D. S. Act I. P. 9.) which is evidenced by the
fluency with which he speaks. This speech has too often been misinterpreted
as Othello showing conceit. It is, in point of fact the apotheosis, via
words, of his character’s delineation in the play. He does not remind the
dignitaries that he championed the rights of a Venetian in Aleppo in order
to elicit sympathy, he already has their sympathy (Act V. ii. 284, 292-294.).
He does this to draw a comparison between himself and the very man whom he
killed so vengefully. He therefore, while asking for fairness and honesty as
principles which he honours, (Act V. ii. 343-344.) he makes a final comment
on himself which is full of humility and self-chastisement; a humility which
ennobles him in our eyes. And, like Willy Loman, whose suicide gains tragic
status in the eyes of the audience if not the society, he never asks “Why,
should I play the Roman fool,/ and die/ on my own sword?” (Macbeth. Act
V. vii.)14. We can answer that quotation with a quotation and say that for
Othello and Willy there was only one absolute: “When the fall is all there
is, it matters.”15 (Helen C.)
NOTES
1. Herman Melville, Moby Dick; or The Whale, ed. Harold Beaver. London:
Penguin books, 1986, 220 and 263.
2. William Shakespeare, The Arden Shakespeare: Othello, eds. Richard

Proudfoot and M. R. Ridley. London: Routledge, 1990.
3. Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman, ed. E.R. Wood. Oxford: Heinemann

Educational Books Ltd.
4. Ophelia and Desdemona are both victimized by Fate and both contribute
to their demise, one by her ill-fated love for Hamlet and conflicting attachment
to her father, the other by her unwitting lie and tragic devotion to Othello.
Laertes has all the qualities of a tragic hero; in an interesting parallel he,
like Hamlet, dies in an attempt to avenge his father’s and sister’s deaths.
Cordelia, a very sympathetic character, is a pawn of Fate and inadvertently sets
in train a tragic sequence of events by refusing to stroke Lear’s inflated ego.
5. William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, The Complete Works of William

Shakespeare. New Jersey: Gramercy Books, 1990.
6. Robert Hillis Goldsmith, Wise Fools in Shakespeare (Liverpool: Liverpool

UP, 1958) 65.
7. William Shakespeare, The Arden Shakespeare: Othello, eds. Richard

Proudfoot and M.R. Ridley. London: Routledge, 1990.
8. Robert Egan, Drama Within Drama: Shakespeare’s sense of his art in

KingLear, The Winter’s Tale and The Tempest. New York: Columbia University
Press, 1972. 31.
9. William Shakespeare, The Arden Shakespeare: Hamlet, ed. Harold Jenkins.

London: Methuen & Co. Ltd.. 1982. 278.
10. F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby. New York: Charles Scribner’s
Son’s, 1968, 228.
11. A. C. Bradley, Shakespearean Tragedy. London: Macmillan Education, 1985.
12. Ronald Hayman, Contemporary Playwright. London: Heinemann, 1977. 42.
13. Hayman, 42.
14. William Shakespeare, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. New

Jersey: Gramercy Books. 1069.
15. The Lion in Winter, dir. Anthony Harvey, Haworth Productions, 1968.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Bradley, A. C. Shakespearean Tragedy. London: Macmillan Education, 1985.
Brooke, Nicholas. Shakespeare and the Natural Condition. Cambridge Mass.:

Harvard Univ. Press., 1956.
Bush, Geoffrey. Shakespeare’s Early Tragedies. London: Methuen & Co. Ltd.
1968.
Fitzgerald, F. Scott. The Great Gatsby. New York: Charles Scribner’s Son’s,
1968.
Goldsmith, Robert Hillis. Wise Fools in Shakespeare. Liverpool: Liverpool

Univ. Press.. 1958.
Hayman, Ronald. Contemporary Playwrights. London: Cos & Wyman Ltd., 1970.
LeWinter, Owald. Shakespeare in Europe. Cleveland, Ohio: The World Publishing

Company, 1963.
The Lion in Winter. Videocassette. Dir. Anthony Harvey. Haworth Productions,

1968. 134 mins.
Melville, Herman. Moby Dick; or The Whale. Ed. Harold Beaver. London:
Penguin Books, 1972.
Miller. Arthur. Death of a Salesman. Ed. E.R. Wood. Oxford: Heinemann

Educational Books Ltd., 1968.
Shakespeare, William. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. New York:

Gramercy Books, 1990.
Shakespeare, William. Hamlet. Arden Shakespeare. Ed. Harold Jenkins. London:

Ethuen & Co. Ltd., 1982.
Shakespeare, William. Othello. Arden Shakespeare. Ed. Richard Proudfoot and

M. R. Ridley. London: Routledge, 1990.
Stewart. J. I. M. Character and Motive in Shakespeare. London: Longmans,

Green & Co. Ltd., 1965.
Waith, Eugene M. The Herculean Hero. London: Chatto & Windus Ltd., 1962.
Application: Writing the Literary Essay

Select one of the texts which you are reading in one of your literature courses and write a literary
essay of approximately 1,000 words on it. Refer to the checklists provided to guide you through
difficult parts. Be sure to document your work carefully.
The Book Report and the Book Review

•
There is no essential difference in the procedure to be adopted in the writing of a book
report and the writing of a book review except to the extent that since one may require more
“sophistication” than the other, certain aspects are highlighted more than others. The difference
between these two tasks is that a book report is a student exercise, that is, an exercise done in
school or university for assessment purposes whereas a book review is done by an ‘expert’ for
a newspaper or magazine or journal. This difference will normally determine the length and
tone of the two. Reviews that occur in widely read and generally circulated publications tend
to contain clearly stated preferences and views which are as much a “policy statement” from
the reviewer as they are attempts to influence the choices, reactions and subsequent actions of
those who read them before they have actually read the book in question. In such reviews there
is almost always a statement of evaluation which says that the book is bad, moderate or good.
In contrast, reviews that occur in specialised journals are written for a more sophisticated and
specialist reader and are meant to display the critical acumen of those who write them even more
so than to provide readers with a summative evaluation of the book in question.
When book reports are set as an academic exercise, the purpose is to get students to read
primarily and secondarily to write an assignment of some length. In some classes individual
book reports are assigned in such a way that when all the reports are done the class as a whole
will have covered all the texts set for the course. It is quite clear that in such cases each book
report must be done conscientiously if the class as a whole is to benefit. Book reports done for a
classroom setting are therefore part of the teaching-learning exercise. The books selected by the
teacher for the purpose are normally seen to be of some value for the class or to be among the
set texts for the class. In contrast, book reviews are done on recently published books with the
intention of giving the relevant reading public information about the book and an assessment
of it. It is quite normal for newspapers, magazines and journals to request book reviews to keep
their readers up to date on new works, ideas and trends.
Book reports and book reviews fall within the general area of literary criticism, which is begun
from the earliest stages of school when children have reached the stage where they can read
short stories. This training in criticism then continues later in school with novels and plays. Book
reports are therefore an advanced stage of criticism in the sense that the student will have moved
from shorter, simpler tasks of criticism, that is, from parts of the book, to criticism of the entire
book, as a single task. Book reports therefore do not involve new skills in criticism, but rather
skills in organisation and coverage as well as writing.
Book reports vary in length and scope, but they usually contain sections which cover the
following areas:
• identification of the book (its author, publisher, year and place of publication, its size
and price, if relevant)
• summary of the structure and contents of the book
• interpretation of its themes and purpose
• assessment of the author’s skills as a writer whether a reader can follow and appreciate
the language and ideas of the writer
• assessment of the (importance of the) book
whether it is enjoyable or edifying or helpful
whether it offers anything new
whether it constitutes a step forward in its area
You must assume, when you are preparing your report, that the reader does not know the book.
(This is usually the case when a book report is to be presented to your peers in a class.) You may
therefore assume the role and adopt the attitude of a (favourite) teacher who carefully explains
and evaluates a book for his/her students. However, the final draft of your report need not
sound like the words of a teacher.
For many people in the Caribbean the printed word takes on an aura of fact and importance
that is difficult to overcome, especially when it occurs in a book written by an unfamiliar person
and published by an old established press in a distant country. If, on the other hand, the book is
written by somebody that you know, your reaction may be much less reverential. Even though
you can assume that some books have been much more scrupulously vetted in the publication
process than others, it is also important to remember that prejudice and ignorance exist at all
levels of society in all societies and are not absent among the educated. You must train yourself
to approach the task with an open mind, which means that you use your own knowledge and
reason to agree and disagree according to your own judgement. (Making mistakes and recognising
mistakes is a part of the learning process – you cannot learn without making mistakes). Of
course, your own knowledge increases by wider reading, research and experience.
As is the case with any other piece of written work, the first step is to make a plan in which you
logically set out the headings for the review. Under each heading you set out the subheadings
(refer to guidelines for outlining that we present elsewhere in this book). Depending on the book
in question, some topics will be more important than others and will require more time and
thought. In the areas listed above, the subheading “author” may be very important if the book
is apparently autobiographical, but unimportant if entirely unrelated to the author’s life. The
size of a thick book may be forbidding if it is meant for light reading but the opposite if it is a
reference-type book which is useful during a course and long afterwards. The print and layout
of a book may help or hinder reading. In short, elements listed above under identification of the
book should be examined carefully before they are eliminated or included in a book review. The
other headings identified contain subjects which are not usually expendable in a book report or
review.
In order to get a “feel” for tone, language and approach normally adopted in reports on books
similar to the one on which you are asked to report, you should read reviews and critiques done
by competent people. This may involve a trip to the library and consultation with a librarian or
a teacher who can provide you with appropriate models. In some cases there is a format and
length limitations provided to you beforehand and which you should observe. As you develop
familiarity with the practice of criticism, you will notice that the following are some concerns of
critics of “serious” works:
• the author’s life, personality, philosophy, attitudes and experience

• the work as representative of a stage/period in the author’s development
• the work as an example of its genre
• the social setting and mores of the work
• the story as realistic, fantastic, and so forth
• the characters as stereotypical, symbolic or realistic; their [lack of] development
• the writer’s use of language according to context and characters
• the way in which the author deals with time and the sequence of events
• the work as art and the work as message

• the impact of the work.
Of course, books written for light reading can be analysed in the same way, but this is not
normally thought to be appropriate. In other words, the criticism of a book has to be in concert
with the intentions of its writer and the expectations of its readers.
How to Avoid Poor Book Reports and Reviews

The major weakness of student book reports is over-concentration on the contents of the book.
Summarising and paraphrasing the words of the author are absolutely not what a good book
report is about. This may be a pitfall into which students fall when they do not set themselves
limits for this section of the report. It therefore can be avoided if you set yourself a clear limit
of two pages, a page, a half page or whatever length is appropriate for the summary of the
contents/story. Your report or review, if it is to concentrate on any one area, must concentrate
on an assessment of the strengths and weaknesses of the book.
Another problem with student book reports results from unwillingness to do what is a big
task by looking for shortcuts. For instance, instead of reading the book and making a sincere
attempt to write an assessment, a student may seek out reviews done by other critics and try
to rewrite them into a single report. This usually results in an uneven book report in which the
work and ideas of the student can easily be differentiated from those of “expert” critics. Such
an approach displays dishonesty and at a professional level can result in charges of plagiarism.
Do not underestimate your own reactions and feelings about a book. Your task is to try to justify
them by reason and an indication of knowledge.
Concerns about subjectivity and objectivity have always been a part of critical reviews. Some
critics have even become famous because of their acerbic comments and some critics are
perceived as parasitic, hostile and dysfunctional. It is usually only after a critic has proved himself
or herself or has some access to power that the critic is allowed to be extravagant and eccentric.
Extreme comments, favourable or unfavourable, detract from a report or review unless they
can be substantiated. At the same time a report or review will fall flat if there is no sense of
judgement and preference. It is therefore necessary to express opinions and give judgements that
are supported by arguments which do not appear to be the result of prejudice and ignorance.
Comparing Two Texts

There are themes that recur in literature and there are also stories that recur. There are characters
that recur, for example, characters such as Frankenstein, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Cinderella, that
recur in books, plays and movies. Two authors may have lived and worked at the same time and
are therefore seen to be comparable in some respects. Whenever there is similarity in literary
works, there is also difference and it is for this reason that the comparison of two works is seen
as a good and productive exercise. Very often comparisons are made to show the superiority
of one author over another, but it is also the case that comparisons are made to identify the
strengths and weaknesses of the works themselves as well as their authors. Comparisons of
contemporary writers and books are also made to show the philosophy and morality of the day
as well as the level of sophistication and technology. Comparisons of works from different eras
are made to show the differences and development in these same aspects. Comparison is one
of the most common techniques used in teaching to illustrate, on the one hand, progress and
development in human society as well as, on the other, to show constancy in human nature,
attitudes and emotions.
Comparison of two works is a triple task - you have to identify the features of one work, then
those of the other, and then compare and contrast the features which you have identified. (Refer
to Section Five.) While you have to follow this exercise through in a methodical manner, paying
attention to all headings and subheadings that are relevant, the greatest difficulty is to select
and highlight those elements which deserve the highest focus and establish their importance in
the comparison. In other words, the reader should come away not just with a list of similarities
and differences, but with a notion that childhood experience or clarity of expression or creative
imagination or familiarity with the subject matter or some such feature or combination of
features is the major difference between the one writer and the other or between the one work
and the other.
ASSIGNMENT
Comparing Two Texts
Reread Helen’s literary essay. Note the balance between commentary and the sketching in of
details about the text. Select two texts that you have to study and write a literary essay comparing
them on a significant aspect of your choice.
35
Discourse
Writing in English Writ- ing in inEnglish
English Writing in the Writing
Sciences
Writing in the Sciences
Scientific discourse requires writing skills that are common to other disciplines, but there are
special emphases that the natural and social sciences require. The cameos on language and
science and language and technology in this chapter give you an indication of some of the
requirements of scientific discourse. The term technical writing is generally used to apply to the
discourse of science and technology as well as linguistics and medicine. If you conducted a
survey of journals in the natural sciences and compared them with some in the arts, you would
observe the difference in the language used. The literature in the social and natural sciences (and
other disciplines as well) is written for specialised audiences, but the styles are likely to vary based
on the specific requirements of the respective journals.
Language and Science

Statements about language as brain activity as well as about the physiology of speech and hearing
come out of scientific research. Language, according to such research, is said to be a rather
recent development in the evolution of man. The development of language, as it is today, and
speech can be dated back respectively to changes in the size of the brain and the appearance of
a specific bone in the throat. In everyday practice, doctors have to address many disorders and
diseases of the brain, lungs, throat, ears, nose and mouth which adversely affect language. In
addition, changes in speech are used as indicators of state of consciousness, control and health
generally. The study of language, then, is a crucial and integral part of the study of human
beings.
Scientific language is in a sense the opposite of artistic language in that it strives toward singular
meaning and wide application. The most widely understood written symbols are those used in
mathematics (that is, numbers and alphabetic letters) and the reason for this is that though each
symbol has its own name in every language, its meaning remains the same. The meaning that
each symbol represents is clear and unambiguous. Scientists have tried to transfer the precision,
wide application and objectivity of mathematical symbols to all other science subjects. In botany
and zoology, for example, Latin is used to construct official names for plants and animals. Latin,
because it was once the most prestigious language, suggests formality, and, because it is a ‘dead’
language, creates a sense of objectivity.
Even when the normal language is used, science texts try to preserve the sense of objectivity by
avoiding certain words and structures and choosing others. For example, science textbooks do
Discourse in the Sciences 469
not usually contain sentences with the pronouns I and we, or introductory verbs such as believe
and feel or adjectives like beautiful and happy. In contrast, the pronoun it and adjectives of colour
are very common in science texts. Science texts are often taxonomic in their structure because
science is preoccupied with the elements and construction of beings and things. The naming of
details creates an awareness of distinctiveness and therefore allows the scientist to move beyond
the layman’s vision, to better explore structures, and to achieve improvements to them.
However, good scientists are aware of the difference between the apparent objectivity of
scientific language and actual truth. Over the years, many scientific statements have been
discarded because they have been shown to be erroneous beliefs rather than verifiable truths. At
some time in most societies medicine was not distinct from superstition, the roles of ‘doctor’
and ‘priest’ were not separable, and remedies for human illnesses depended heavily on belief. In
many cases, scientific or foreign sounding language has been used to confound and impress the
uninitiated, or used as a shield to conceal ignorance. Nevertheless, scientific language, like any
other language of a specialised group, allows its users to communicate among themselves more
efficiently, and within the group it does not mask ignorance very well. Some ‘scientists’ would
like to generalise the sharp distinctions of scientific language to all areas of life while some
‘artists’ like to hide behind the ambiguities of artistic language.
A survey of some scientific journals will reveal several things about the writing.
1. That the language and style are direct. The language is primarily denotative; one is not
likely to find much figurative language in scientific documents.
2. The vocabulary is technical; precise terms are used for concepts in the discipline. In
some scientific articles that are intended for an unspecialised audience, one is likely to
find the use of many examples and illustrative comments that clarify the concept being
presented. Such is the case in James Jeans’ essay Why the Sky is Blue. In Section Three, you
analysed this passage and you will have noted the effective use of analogy by Jeans. In
order to make the concept clear to the reader, Jeans uses an analogy based on a familiar
phenomenon to explain the scientific one. We reprint the text of the essay here for your
convenience.
Why the Sky is Blue
Imagine that we stand on any ordinary seaside pier, and watch the waves
rolling in and striking against the iron columns of the pier. Large waves
pay very little attention to the columns – they divide right and left and
re-unite after passing each column, much as a regiment of soldiers would
if a tree stood in their road; it is almost as though the columns had not
been there. But the short waves and ripples find the columns of the pier a
much more formidable obstacle. When the short waves impinge on the columns,
they are reflected back and spread as new ripples in all directions. To use
the technical term, they are “scattered.” The obstacle provided by the iron
columns hardly affects the long waves at all, but scatters the short ripples.
We have been watching a sort of working model of the way in which sunlight
struggles through the earth’s atmosphere. Between us on earth and outer space
the atmosphere interposes innumerable obstacles in the form of molecules
of air, tiny droplets of water, and small particles of dust. These are
represented by the columns of the pier.
The waves of the sea represent the sunlight. We know that sunlight is a blend
of lights of many colours – as we can prove for ourselves by passing it
through a prism, or even through a jug of water, or as Nature demonstrates to
us when she passes it through the raindrops of a summer shower and produces
a rainbow. We also know that light consists of waves, and that the different
colours of light are produced by waves of different lengths, red light by long
waves and blue light by short waves. The mixture of waves which constitutes
sunlight has to struggle through the obstacles it meets in the atmosphere,
just as the mixture of waves at the seaside has to struggle past the columns
of the pier. And these obstacles treat the light-waves much as the columns of
the pier treat the sea-waves. The long waves which constitute red light are
hardly affected, but the short waves which constitute blue light are scattered
in all directions.
Thus, the different constituents of sunlight are treated in different ways

as they struggle through the earth’s atmosphere. A wave of blue light may
be scattered by a dust particle, and turned out of its course. After a
time a second dust particle again turns it out of its course, and so on,
until finally it enters our eyes by a path as zigzag as that of a flash of
lightning. Consequently the blue waves of the sunlight enter our eyes from
all directions. And that is why the sky looks blue.
(Source - James Jeans, The Stars in their Courses, Cambridge University Press, 1931.)
One would expect that an explanation of the same phenomenon for a scientific
audience would utilise more technical vocabulary. The explanation of neuraminic
acid is intended for an audience that is specialised. The writer assumes that
the audience has some familiarity with the concepts being discussed.
Neuraminic acid in the form of its alkali-stable methoxy derivative was

first isolated by Klenk from gangliosides and more recently from bovine
sub-maxillary gland mucin and from a urine muco-protein, its composition
being (C11 H21 NO9 or perhaps (C10 H19 NO8. This substance has no reducing
power, but is ninhydrin-positive. Sialic acid and the methoxy derivative of
neuraminic acid are characterised by the purple colour they give on heating
with Ehrlich’s p-dimethylaminobenzaldehyde reagent even without alkali pre-
treatment (direct Erlich reaction), by the violet colour they produce on
treatment with Bial’s orcinel reagent and by the considerable humin formation
on heating with dilute mineral acid…. Neuraminic acid may be regarded as an
aldol type of condensation product of 2-amino-2-deoxy-hexose with pyruvic
acid, the aldol type of linkage rendering recovery of the amino sugar by acid
treatment impossible.
(Source - Letter in Nature. November, 1955.
Note, for example, the writer’s use of one technical term to explain another.
3. The information presented must be accurate. Scientists place a high premium on accuracy
of content. In publishing houses, scientific and technical journals are edited carefully for
language, content and style. The acceptance of an article or paper for publication will
depend on the significance of the content, on its contribution to the body of knowledge
of the discipline, on the clarity of the writer’s presentation, and on the organisation of
ideas. The editors are more likely to work on stylistic matters if the other requirements
are met. A paper that is not well-written and clear will not be accepted for publication.
During the undergraduate years at university, students in technology and the sciences
should aim at mastering the specific characteristics of the discourse of these disciplines.
It is a matter of knowing how to present scientific and technological concepts accurately
(using the accepted technical terminology of the disciplines) in clear and concise
language.
4. In the social and natural sciences, in technology and in the arts, clarity of expression is
emphasised. Whether one is writing for a specialised audience or not, a basic requirement
is that the content must be presented clearly so that it can be understood. There are several
guides that a writer in any discipline can follow to create clarity in written discourse. The
following are some tips that the student can use.
• Use language that is concrete and specific. One’s understanding of concepts will
depend to some extent upon the use of precise terms in some instances. Note,
however, that effective use of a strategy like analogy (as in Jeans’ essay) or the
judiciously placed connotative word may assist you in making a particular concept
clear to the reader. The choice of audience will determine the choice of diction
for the most part. We must be clear about what we mean when we refer to ‘clarity’.
Clarity does not imply simple or simplistic language use. It means that the writer
must present the subject matter in the simplest way (this relates to organisation)
without diluting the subject matter. This might involve dividing the subject into
manageable chunks, sub-topics, for example, and it may also mean organising the
ideas from a low to a high level of difficulty – from simple to complex.
• Write sentences and paragraphs that are shorter and therefore easier to digest. The
shorter paragraphs allow the reader to focus on smaller chunks of information at a
given time.
• While the use of technical and scientific terms is necessary, particularly in documents
intended for a specialised audience, you must nevertheless be careful not to use
technical jargon for the whim of it. Too much jargon is pretentious and it can be
frustrating to the reader. The writer must be able to find the right balance between
the use of regular diction and a specialised vocabulary. Again, keeping the intended
audience in mind will influence what you say and how you say it.
• The use of illustrations to present an abstract idea can be more explicit than two
paragraphs of dense text explaining the abstraction. In science and technology, as in
business, graphics can be used to present data in a straightforward and comprehensible
way. If you turn to Chapter 36, on the discourse of business, you will see several
illustrations of different type that we recommend as visual aids for the business
report. These graphics are just as useful for the technological report and some may
be adapted to serve different purposes in a scientific report. However, there are a
few considerations to which you must give attention in regard to the inclusion of
graphics in a report. The first is whether the information can be presented more
effectively as a graphic than in explanatory text. The second consideration is which
type of graphic is best suited to the information that has to be presented. (Examine
the visual aids and read the accompanying text in Chapter 36). We present several
examples of different types of graphics (pie charts, pictograms, line graphs, bar
charts/histograms and tables) that can be used to present information in a report
with explanatory notes.
• Follow the conventions of spelling, punctuation and mechanics accurately. Clarity

and coherence of text depend on one’s ability to use these features of writing
accurately. Being a major in the sciences does not provide you with a license to
abandon the conventions of written communication any more than it permits the
use of inaccurate grammar. Writing in the sciences and technology requires the
use of appropriate punctuation and the other accepted conventions of written
discourse.
Language and Technology

If there is one way in which languages actually differ, it is in the size of their vocabularies.
Languages that are used in all domains of life and by many different types of people have larger
vocabularies than those that are more restricted in their use. More specifically, when a language
is used formally by different groups, it automatically acquires the words, terminologies and
structures typical, for example of teachers, scientists and technicians. Some languages therefore
have much more extensive and sophisticated technological vocabularies than others. English is
one of these languages – it is used by peoples of various cultures for several different purposes,
as a result of which not only has it acquired words that reflect its wide usage but it has also a
vast technological vocabulary. The vocabularies of most languages have been affected by the
explosion of scientific development within the last fifty years, but languages which are used
internationally show this much more so than those that are not. From the point of view of
the individual, the number of words known and used by educated people today is substantially
greater than fifty years ago.
Because of the sudden increase in technological vocabulary and its origin and predominant use
in specific languages, a large gap has developed between what may be seen as ‘sophisticated’
and ‘unsophisticated’ languages. To make matters worse, technology itself often carries its
vocabulary with it and if your native language is not one of the ‘sophisticated’ languages of the
world, you may find yourself having to learn a (foreign) technological language or you will have
to borrow extensively from these languages. The ‘sophisticated’ languages of the world have
therefore established a technological and cultural dominance over the other languages which is
extremely difficult to overcome. This dominance has led to the belief that the ‘unsophisticated’
languages, or at least some of them, do not have the linguistic equipment (not just words) to
handle the thinking that is behind and is the source of the technology. What this suggests is that
abstract thinking and hypothetical and logical reasoning are made less attainable by languages
which rely on circumlocutions or have orthographies which are too elaborate and difficult to
learn. It is indeed a problem when a language itself has to expand at the same time that its users
are expanding into higher levels of education.
Even when your native language is one of the ‘sophisticated’ languages of the world, mastery
and familiarity with technological language is in itself a forbidding prospect. An educated person
today is expected to understand and discuss matters involving the environment, medicine and the
computer, three areas which are vast in themselves and abound in technical terms. There are two
types of response to this forbidding vastness and complexity – simplification and indulgence.
The concept of ‘user-friendly’ technology has developed to make the language of technology
more easily understood by the layman and so to get the products of technology into the hands
of more people. At the same time, in order for individuals themselves to move ahead in the
market place, they have to demonstrate a familiarity with technological language which is now
seen as a passport to advancement. In a sense, then, the layman and the scientist are approaching
each other.
5. Throughout this text we have referred to the importance of audience (refer to Section
Four). The examples that we have used in this section, Jeans’ article Why the Sky is Blue
and the extract from a letter printed in Nature, are clearly written for different audiences.
In the first, a physicist is writing with a general audience in mind, while the second
extract is intended for a more specialised audience. It is important for the writer of
scientific and technological discourse to have a clear sense of audience. The student of
sociology writing a report based on a telephone survey must decide on the audience for
whom that report is intended. Is it the lecturer of the course? Is it the general public, or
is it others within the field? The shaping of the report and the language that the student
uses to write it (the diction) will depend on the audience. There are two simple guidelines
that you can follow in determining the choice of language, specifically the inclusion of
technical vocabulary in a paper. If the paper or article is for a specialised audience, you
can include more technical terminology and can keep explanation of terms (those that
are assumed to be known by others in the discipline) brief and set out in parenthetical
statements. However, if the paper is for a non-specialised audience, the terms must be
explained and the use of technical vocabulary should be minimised. You should also use
examples and illustrations (note the effective use of analogy in Jeans’ paper) and other
devices that will make the material easier for a general audience to understand.
The assignments that students in the sciences are likely to be given will include the
following three types:
a) one based on experimentation in the laboratory in which the student will be asked
to observe particular reactions of specified chemical agents in an experiment, or to
conduct an experiment and observe the results. In each case the student must write
a laboratory report describing what was observed, explaining the procedure and
reporting the results of the experiment;
b) a second may be to conduct an inquiry (or experiment) in the field which will involve
working with human subjects who may have to be interviewed or given questionnaires.
This kind of task is more common in the social sciences and linguistics. The student
learns, as part of course work, how to prepare various schedules, for example the
questionnaire and interview schedule, how to conduct a simple survey and how to
analyse the data and write a report of the findings. This type of task is also more
common in the upper levels of undergraduate programmes and it is common at the
postgraduate level;
c) a third type of task is to write a report that is based on library research. In this
section we will focus on the report based on library research, the laboratory report,
and we will give a general overview of some of the requirements of writing a report
based on a survey. In Section Four we also discuss the business report in some
detail. Section Seven provides detailed information on the research paper and we
will ask you to review that section since the information there is fundamental for
research involving documents from the library.
Whether the report is based on library research (reading books, articles and studies on
a subject) or one based on empirical research (direct observation of a phenomenon,
an experiment in a laboratory or a survey involving people), you must present the
facts accurately and record the findings faithfully and without bias. Falsifying results
is taboo in academic circles.
The Report Based on Library Research

Read this section in conjunction with Section Seven. We will discuss the process that you can
follow in preparing to write a report on a specific subject in Sociology.
Pre-writing Tasks
1. In most instances the lecturer provides a topic or a set of topics from which the student
can choose. If a specific topic has not been assigned, the first task is to find a suitable topic
on which to write the report. Remember that if you select a topic in which you are interested,
you are likely to be more highly motivated to work on it. Use any of the strategies we
have discussed in this text to select and narrow (limit) the topic.
2. Read around the subject. This task should be approached systematically once you have
decided on a topic. Let us assume that the topic is drug dependency among young adults. One
way to proceed is to search the subject index in the library and make a note of the texts
on the subject. Read through the brief abstract printed on the library card to help you
decide if the text is what you are interested in. Also, search through the index of journals
in sociology on the subject.
3. Take notes on the subject. Refer to the guidelines for note taking in Section Seven. Be
sure to use all appropriate procedures for documentation so that you can cite your
sources accurately when you write the report. Use the different strategies we suggested
(e.g., paraphrasing, quoting, summarising) when you make notes for your report. Also
remember to ‘interact’ with the text as you read. The analytical component of your report
is going to depend upon the critical depth of your reading. For instance, what inferences
can you draw from the results that are reported in the papers/articles? Do you detect any
biases in the writer’s position? Are there any flaws in the research that you can find? Are
the conclusions relevant and sound, and are they based on the evidence presented? Has
the evidence been interpreted appropriately? If figures and other graphics were used to
present data, did they obscure any important facts?
4. Decide on an audience. When you have read widely enough on the subject, you need
to organise your paper. First, decide on the audience for whom you are writing the
paper. Since this is a serious academic assignment in your particular discipline, you will
probably want to write for a specialised audience consisting of peers and others within
the discipline. The approach you take, the diction you use will be a scholarly one that will
reflect the particular emphases of your discipline.
5. Organise your report. Refer to the section on the book report and review to get additional
information on another format that you can use. However, your report is not going to be
based on one book only, but on a variety of texts on the subject; in other words, you will
be carrying out a review of the literature and your task will be to provide a comprehensive
account of the work that has been done on the subject. One strategy that will help you
to organise your report is the formal outline. You can begin by preparing a temporary
scratch outline to indicate the sequence in which you will present the information; this
can be modified after you have done the preliminary work and planned the writing task.
There are several methods of organisation that you can use (refer to Section Five) such
as (i) chronology – presenting a discussion of earlier works first and more recent ones
later, (ii) dividing and classifying - which involves a discussion of the literature according
to the different parts of the subject. Within this format the information can also be
arranged chronologically.
Sketch the main section headings of the report. For instance, you will need (i) an abstract that
will provide a summary of the report, indicate the area of focus, the methods used, the
main findings and the conclusions, (ii) an introduction which will include a rationale or
opening discussion; in this section you will indicate the relevance and significance of
your subject to the particular theory or theories and point out any problems that may
be related to the work you are undertaking. The thesis statement (refer to Sections Four
and Six) or the hypothesis (for scientific studies) will also be included in this section.
The thesis statement or the hypothesis (or hypotheses) of the report should be clear and
should provide an exact indication of what you intend to cover in the report. For the
subject drug dependency among young adults you may, in a report of wide focus, consider the
following:
• reported causes of dependency
• the effects of dependency
• rehabilitation programmes and varying methods of treatment
• conclusions reached by studies on the subject

• your own conclusions indicating areas of weakness in the studies you have surveyed,
gaps of information, areas requiring more research and so forth.
6. Write the first draft of your report. Be careful to use academic language (that is, the
appropriate formal register, style and diction). As you write from your prepared notes,
indicate clearly what the literature has shown, citing references appropriately as you go
along. The following is a mock example of how one of the opening paragraphs might
read.
Several studies have been conducted on drug dependency among young
adults; for example, Appleby, 1965; Carlson, 1976; John, 1982; Waithe,
1995. Carlson’s study focused on behaviours in a commune of the so called
“flower children” of the mid 1960s in a community in North Carolina in the
United States of America. This was a diary study based on observations
carried out by the researcher over a period of two months. Carlson found
that availability of drugs and lack of restriction in their use minimised
dependency in that culture. However, the methods used by Carlson are
questionable because they permitted a certain amount of subjectivity in
the recording of information. Also, because of the context of this study
and the special conditions surrounding drug use within the culture of the
hippy commune, the results of his study may not be generalisable to other
situations. Waithe’s 1995 study on the effects of drug use among young
people of the 16 to 18 age group in Grenada produces different findings.
Based on a sample of 100 young adults drawn from different communities in
Grenada, Waithe found that availability of drugs increased the incidence
of dependency.
7. Revise and edit the paper. After writing the first draft, follow the procedures for rewriting,
proofreading and editing that we have suggested elsewhere in this text. Document
your sources carefully, and be consistent in the style that you use for documentation
(that is, either MLA or APA), and edit the text thoroughly using the checklists that we
have provided for this purpose. We recommend that you type your report. Use a word
processing programme that will allow you to edit with minimum difficulty. The final
presentation of your paper should reflect the effort that you put into it. Lecturers are
more inclined to read a paper that is neatly typed and presented than one that is written
in a careless scrawl.
The Report Based on Field Research

Usually, assignments based on field research are given more frequently in the second and third
year. Several faculties require students in their final year to conduct a fairly extensive study on a
subject in the relevant discipline. Most students do not plan their studies; once they have decided
on a topic they read, take notes and begin to write. We have stressed the importance of planning
your academic writing tasks. Proficiency in preparing complicated papers and reports later on
results from learning how to do them properly in the first instance. The need for planning (at
either undergraduate or postgraduate level) is even more crucial when you are preparing a report
that is based on empirical research. The planning is part of the pre-writing activities that must be
done, and a careful plan of field research is a blueprint which the researcher/writer may use as a
guide for conducting the actual research. In fact, there are two plans – one for the actual research
(which may be an experiment) and another for the report. The first plan outlines the procedures
that will be followed in conducting the research and analysing the data, and the second is a plan
for presenting the information in the report; the two complement each other.
In this section we will discuss both types of plans in relation to a general topic requiring a
simple survey. We have selected a topic that is likely to be of general interest to all students for
illustrative purposes. The topic is The attitudes of university students towards paying tuition fees.
A. Plan for the Research – Research Design

1. A survey of the literature. When one sets out to conduct research of any kind, one must
first decide on a subject and specific topic. In the case of an empirical study, it is
important that the topic be framed in such a way that it is unambiguous and suitable
for empirical study. For most topics it is useful to conduct a library search to determine
what has been done on the subject, what studies were conducted, what their findings
were and recommendations that were made. A survey of the literature will allow you to
get a sense of whether the selected topic has already been covered adequately, in which
case you might wish to modify the topic, and also to determine which areas have been
recommended for further study. The determination of a specific topic may well depend
upon the thoroughness of the preliminary library search along the lines that we have
suggested in Section Six.
2. The sample. Empirical research may involve direct observation of a phenomenon,

collection of data or conducting an experiment. In linguistics one usually collects speech
samples, in psychology it may be the results from tests that were administered, in biology
it may be the results based on the observation of the reaction of a given species to a
particular kind of treatment. How this data is to be collected is a matter that must be
given careful thought. First a decision must be made about the kinds of data that are
needed. It may be that you will have to conduct a survey (with human subjects) or you
may have to collect samples of sea urchins and observe their behaviour under specified
conditions. In either case, decisions have to be made about the sample, for example, its
size and composition. In the case of our survey we need to decide the following: (a) how
many students ought to be included in the survey – we need a representative sample,
preferably students from each faculty on the campus. If we choose 20 students out of a
population of 5,000 we know that this is not a fair sample; (b) whether one should have
a random sample; (c) the proportion of males and females to be included and (e) the size
of the subsamples (from each faculty).
3. Methods and materials of data collection. Once a decision has been made about the sample,
consideration must be given to the method of data collection. If the study requires
observation, you will simply have to determine the conditions for observation – whether
special schedules will be needed to record different behaviours or whether you will
simply use observer notes. In the case of our survey we must decide whether we will
distribute a questionnaire or whether an interview is preferred. In this case, the latter
is the better option because of the nature of the study and the size of the sample. The
decision we must then make is whether we will record the interview or write down
the responses. The former is preferable in this case because we are not likely to omit
important information. Regardless of the method that is used, the actual report must
contain a description of materials and the methods of data gathering.
4. Analysis of data. When the data has been collected, it must be analysed and put into a
form in which it can be presented in the report. If you have observation notes, they
cannot be presented as notes. You are going to have to draw up a system for categorising,
simplifying and presenting the information in such a way that it will be transparent for
the reader. In our survey we are interested primarily in finding out whether students
support or are opposed to paying fees. We are likely to have three major categories of
response. These are: (i) for, (ii) against and (iii) undecided. If we wanted elaboration in
any of these areas, for instance reasons for indecision, we would need to design guided
questions to probe further and we would then need to analyse the category further to
account for the responses given.
Doing a tally of the number of responses in each category is a first step in sorting out
the data. We can then calculate the percentages in each category as a proportion of the
total number of responses. This information can be presented in a table or as a bar
chart (refer to the graphics in Chapter 36). We can further refine the data by showing
differences according to faculty, gender, gender and faculty and so on. For each of these
points it is possible to construct a graphic that will show the results.
Points 1 to 4 are all pre-writing tasks related to conducting the field experiment. Once these tasks
have been completed, the report will have to be written. The literature survey will have yielded
some information that the writer will be able to use in the report. The steps that follow have to
do with (i) planning the report (ii) drafting the report, (iii) revising (iv) proofreading and editing
and (v) preparation of a fair copy.
We now go on to discuss the second type of plan which is the planning of the report and
presentation of the information.
B. Planning the Report

1. Formal reports or academic papers usually consist of the following parts: (a) an abstract,
(b) an introduction, (c) a description of the data collecting procedures which will include
a description of both the methods and materials used in the gathering of the data, (d)
a description of the procedures used to analyse the data, (e) the presentation of the
results, (f) a discussion of the results, (g) conclusion, (h) notes and bibliography.
a) The abstract consists of a summary of the paper and includes a statement about the
nature of the investigation, the thesis or hypothesis (or hypotheses), the summary
of the methods used in the investigation, the main findings and conclusions of the
study.
b) The introductory material usually contains an explanation of the problem – it gives

an indication of what the study and report are about. Longer reports will sometimes
include a rationale, reasons why the study is being undertaken. The introduction
should also include a discussion of the literature on the subject, a report of studies
that have been conducted, their findings and the relevance to your study, how your
study differs from others. An indication of the questions the study seeks to answer,
or a statement of the thesis or hypothesis that is being tested should also be included
in this section.
c) A description of the data collecting procedures – including a description of

the methods and materials that were used to collect data normally follows the
introductory material. This part of the study is, perhaps, the most straightforward,
and we recommend that you begin by writing this and the section which immediately
follows (methods of analysing the data) before you write the other parts of the
study.
d) In the fourth section a description of how the data was analysed is presented. Here
the concern is with how you arrived at the percentages and any other calculations that
are included in the report. For instance, if the percentages for different categories
were obtained as a proportion of the total number of items, then this must be
explained so that the reader will know exactly what the numbers represent when he
or she examines the graphics in which the results are presented.
e) The presentation of the results shows the findings, and you must try to present these
in the most interesting ways with illustrations (tables, figures and other visual aids
that facilitate the reader’s understanding). Ideally, the graphics are prepared during
the data analysis so that when the report is being written, you can concentrate on
explaining the results that were obtained. Of course, you might need to go back
to the original data to clarify a point or to prepare a further graphic that may be
considered necessary as you write. Let us suppose that for our survey we wanted to
show the results according to faculty, and we obtained the following information.
We can summarise the information in the following way as a basis for making further
calculations.
M F For Against Undecided N
Arts 20 30 15 20 15 = 50
Soc Sci. 30 45 10 30 10 = 75
Law 30 20 10 30 10 = 50
Nat. Sci. 15 10 5 20 0 = 25
Educ. 10 10 0 18 2 = 20
Medic. 15 15 0 25 5 = 30
Total
= 250
We can construct a table based on the information on the worksheet in which we show the
percentages for each faculty as a proportion of the total number of respondents. Such a table
might look like the following:
Table Showing % of Respondents by Faculty
Faculty For Against Undecided Percentage

Arts 6 8 6 20
Social Science 4 24 2 30
Natural Science 2 8 0 10
Law 4 12 4 20
Education 0 7.2 0.8 8
Medicine 0 10 2 12
Total = 250
(f) Some reports present the results and discuss them simultaneously, while others
present the results and include a discussion section afterwards.
(g) In these sections, the findings of the report must be clearly presented and explained.
In the discussion section the writer will make inferences based on the figures and
will also relate the findings to others (similar or different) from other studies on the
subject. The significance of the findings must also be explained.
(h) Finally, the report must include end notes – if specific texts were cited in the text
of the report (see the methods discussed in Section Six) – and a bibliography that
consists of all the texts to which the writer referred.
The format and final presentation of the report are important. You should therefore also include
a title page which will indicate the title of the report and the author and, following that, a table
of contents and a list of tables and figures.
The Laboratory Report

Much of what we have written about reports so far is relevant in many ways to the laboratory
report that the science student will be required to write. Some reports require students to record
their findings in note form, but others, particularly formal reports, require students to write in
complete sentences and to present the information in clearly defined sections. The scientific
report will usually be based on experiments conducted in the laboratory or in the field. In
either case, the student is required to observe specific reactions or behaviours and to record
procedures and/or results systematically. For some assignments you may be asked to refer to
relevant theories on the subject. In this case, the methods for conducting library research will
also have to be used and the conventions for documentation observed.
Science students are usually asked to keep a laboratory notebook in which they record their
experiments. It should be possible for someone who picks up the notebook to follow the
explanation of procedures and the discussion. Sometimes the lecturer will provide a description
of the procedures to be followed in a laboratory experiment and the student conducts the
experiment and records the results in the report. The student may make reference to the
procedures used without outlining them in detail. Notice that in the laboratory report written by
a student, Andrea B., she refers to the procedures without providing a detailed discussion. This
is because the procedures were provided in a two page manual by the lecturer.
The formal laboratory report will consist of the subdivisions that we have discussed in the
previous section. The descriptions that we have given for those subdivisions will also apply in
this case, except that the graphics will differ. Andrea uses a graph that plots the results she first
presents in a table. Andrea’s report is not formal, that is, it does not have an abstract or literature
review. Her report is an example of the kind that science students would be required to submit
regularly from their laboratory work. This report involves two experiments with riboflavin. Each
has an introduction as well as a list of materials. Reference is made to the procedures which were
provided. The results of the experiment with supporting figures and discussion are also part of
the reports. We present only the first of the two reports and we have omitted instructor’s notes
and comments.
Andrea B.
Biology 10C Lab.
Experiment 1
Title: The absorption spectrum of riboflavin
Introduction
Many compounds have characteristic absorption spectra in the visible region

so that identification of these materials in a mixture is possible. Riboflavin
is a compound which absorbs light in the visible region. The absorption
spectrum of this compound refers to the pattern of absorption maxima and
minima unique to it.
Colorimetry is a technique used to determine the absorption spectrum. It

makes use of the property - that when white light passes through a coloured
solution some wavelengths are absorbed more than others. When a ray of
monochromatic light of initial intensity 10 passes through a solution in
a transparent vessel, some of the light is absorbed so that the intensity
of the transmitted light 1 is less than 10. There is some loss of light
intensity from scattering by particles in the solution and reflection from
the interfaces, but mainly from absorption by the solution. The relationship
between 1 and 10 depends on the path length of the absorbing medium, and the
concentration of the absorbing solution C. These factors are related in the
laws of Lambert and Beer and these laws combine together to give the Beer-
Lambert law.
The application of this law in the equation as shown Q - EC1, where A =

Absorbence, E = Malon Extinction coefficient, C = Concentration, I = Optical
light path, allows for the determination of the absorbence spectrum of
compounds.
Materials
A colorimeter
2 colorimeter tubes
Riboflavin solution
Distilled water
Procedure
Refer to lab schedule.
Results of Experiment 1
Table showing the absorbence of light in riboflavin at different wavelengths
Wavelength Absorbence
(nm)
340 0.333
350 0.413
360 0.457
370 0.475
380 0.447
390 0.395
400 0.340
410 0.342
420 0.345
430 0.366
440 0.384
450 0.381
460 0.348
470 0.301
480 0.234
490 0.134
500 0.578
510 0.020
520 0.007
530 0.003
540 0.016
550 0.017
560 0.015
570 0.006
580 0.009
590 0.016
600 0.003
Discussion
The graphic results of the absorption spectrum of riboflavin show differences in

the absorption minima and maxima at changes in wavelength. These differences
can be attributed to the fact that the absorption of light passing through a
solution is exponentially related to the length of the absorbing solution.
The absorption maximum is at wavelength 500nm. This is a slight increase in
the maximum solvent band of riboflavin known to be 445nm.
These results illustrate that measurement of true absorbence in a scattering

system requires placement of the sample close to the photomultiplier, so that
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Both optical and chemical properties of absorbing species are modified by
temperature change. These changes include effects upon the apparent optical
path length and the intensity of absorption bands. Optical path length
can be increased upon freezing a sample if, instead of a glass, a semi-
transparent micro crystalline mass is obtained. The result is a considerable
intensification of the absorption bands of the frozen sample superimposed
upon the changes due to temperature itself.
Also, biomolecules that are soluble in more than one type of solvent system
will show very different spectral intensities in different solvents. Hence
the absorption spectra of riboflavin may show deviations.
Andrea B.
36
The
Writing in English Writ- ing in Discourse
English ofWriting
Writing in English Business
The Business Report
Since the word “business” refers to a multitude of activities, it means that business reports
are varied in their subject matter, scope, length and importance. The intention here is not
to try to include comments and guidance on all kinds of business reports but to highlight
features common in a wide range of business reports. Business reports are done principally for
planning purposes. For example, the annual report on the activities of a netball club is not just a
historical document; it provides information about the club and its members which is supposed
to guide decision-making about the future of the club. The financial statement and budgetary
proposals or budget which a minister of finance presents to parliament is a grander version of
the same, which includes both the report and the plans for the immediate future. The report of
a commission of enquiry into some happenings or some state of affairs is also meant to inform
decisions about what is to be done about the people involved or to resolve a problem arising out
of the matter.
The one essential component of business reports is data or information. It is not in all cases
that analysis and conclusions form part of the report itself – they may be left to other people
and contexts. However, it is better here to treat a business report not only as a statement about
the past but also as projections into the future and include all three sections (data, analysis,
conclusions) as integral parts of a business report. What this implies is that a business report
can be deemed to be an elaborate argument in which both general and specific comments and
recommendations are made based on information gathered and analysis of that information.
A business report can vary in length from a few pages to hundreds of pages depending on
the nature of the subject matter, the resources available and the terms of reference of those
compiling the report. For example, for internal and decision-making purposes, an officer in a
bank may prepare a credit worthiness report on an individual or small company and this report
may be no longer than three or four pages. On the other hand, a government may set up a
commission of enquiry into the business dealings of a failed bank and this report may be two
hundred pages long. A business report can also vary in its appearance - an audit of a company
will be dominated by numbers and symbols while a personnel report will be mostly prose.
The subject matter of a report almost invariably involves information on people, time, money
and activities.
The terms of reference are stated by those authorising and funding the report or are determined
or bounded by convention or practice. When a report goes beyond its bounds, the report or
The Discourse of Business 487
its compiler(s) may be said to be ultra vires, out of order, exceeding the mandate or some other
similar expression, and therefore may be rejected in total or in part.
Long reports are usually set out in sections under headings. For example, a report may contain
all or some of the following headings, which can be divided into (A) preliminary material, the
(B) body or main component and (C) reference material:
(A) Title page
Table of Contents
(Executive) summary
Introduction
Terms of reference of the committee
Members of the committee
Statement of task
Resources
Method and procedures
(B) Statement of findings/Statement of activities
Financial statement
Analysis of findings/Analysis of finances
Analysis of achievements
Conclusions and recommendations
(C) Appendices
Bibliography
(A) Preliminary Material

The extent of the preliminary material clearly depends on the nature of the report. Preliminary
material is necessary for purposes of record keeping and for an understanding of the limits,
limitations and other determining factors of the report itself. Although subheadings in the
introduction may vary, the intention in this section is to provide the reader with information on
why, how, when and where the report was done. It may also give some historical background, an
explanation of terms and comments on the structure of the report itself. In the case of a short
report, all this may be implicit or self-evident or very briefly stated. Where the report is very
long and involved, it normally carries a summary or an executive summary (a longer summary)
in which the main points of the report are summarised, especially for those who do not have the
time or the inclination to read the entire report.
(B) The Main Body
Data
Data can be true, false or reconstructed as well as first-hand or second-hand. In the law courts
second-hand or hearsay evidence is not normally allowed, but this is in contrast to what happens
generally in everyday life. You believe most of what your friends and neighbours say and
especially what you read in newspapers and books. In fact, it would be impossible for a single
individual to verify all the information which he/she hears and reads. It is normal to trust your
sources, that is, to believe that your neighbour is truthful, that your newspaper is accurate, that
editors and authors are reliable. Reports, generally speaking, present data in an objective way to
appear factual. Where there is no explicit statement on the data gathering operation, there is an
assumption that it is reliable or collected and compiled according to statistical principles.
Analysis
Analysis can be done without conclusions if you merely report the changes or absence of
changes seen in the data. However, it is normal for the analyst to have in mind or to be curious
about reasons for changes during the examination of the data. Yet it is good discipline to
examine evidence carefully, noting variations involved before ‘jumping’ to conclusions. Analysis
is basically selection, comparison and contrast of details with the intention of identifying trends
and, in some cases, making projections into the future. When you listen to economists and rival
politicians analysing data, several interpretations and perspectives emerge, and you will see that
the element of choice in what is highlighted makes it seem as if each person is using different
data. Analysis therefore involves an element of choice which may result in ordinary and obvious
conclusions on the one hand or perceptive and revealing conclusions on the other.
Conclusions
Conclusions deal with reasons, explanations, evaluations, implications and predictions.
Conclusions are, where relevant, followed by recommendations. In fact, in many cases,
recommendations are the highlight of reports and are read before all other parts of the report.
Human interest in solutions and punishment or exoneration, rewards and award of contracts,
approval of projects and grants is very often the overriding factor. This means that where the
report is needed for decision making purposes, recommendations are the most prominent part
of a report for those involved.
Presentation
One of the major considerations in constructing a report is the format to be used for the
presentation of data, analysis and conclusions. It is a matter of choosing the most appealing,
attractive and convincing way of visually communicating information so that a reader can follow
trends and understand conclusions as easily and as quickly as possible. Formatting involves
choice between different layouts for the entire document; choice between different print sizes
for highlighting; choice between words, symbols, graphics and numbers; and choice between
colour and black and white. Decisions in all these cases are determined by costs and attitudes,
advice about which is, for the most part, outside the scope of this book. Following is information
on the strengths and weaknesses of certain visual aids used in reports.
Use of Visual Aids

It should be pointed out first of all that it is advisable to use visual aids when you have space to
insert them and time to refer to them. Visual aids are used in reports to aid verbal explanation
as well as to attract and keep attention.
The word “figure” will be used here to mean numbers, pictures, graphs, charts, tables, diagrams
and maps. Figures are “shorthand” means of presenting information. They can be presented and
interpreted in a simple way or they can be detailed and specialised. We can distinguish between
figures which present information relating one thing to another, and figures which do not.
For the layman the relation of one thing to another in a systematic way is “correlation” and
any two or more things can be correlated, as long as there seems to be some connection
between them. However, statisticians and mathematicians have a more specialised definition of
“correlation” in which the basic idea is that there is correlation between two things when (the
value of) one changes in a predictable way as (the value of) the other changes. Here are a few
examples of things which are often correlated
• time/distance, for example, the longer you travel, the further you go
• amount/year, for example, the amount of sugar produced varies from year to year
• age/wages & insurance, for example, as you grow older, your wages and insurance costs
tend to increase.
Each one of the things correlated is called a variable. The most common figures used for
correlations are:
• pictograms
• pie charts
• line graphs
• bar charts/histograms
• tables.
Following is a brief definition of these figures together with comments on usefulness and
shortcomings.
Pictograms
A pictogram is a figure which presents in varying sizes a stylised picture of an item in order to
show increases, decreases or differences. Figure 1 is an example of a pictogram.
A pictogram is probably the easiest figure to understand because it is the least abstract – the
picture is clear and the size is obvious. The comparison/contrast is immediately striking.
A pictogram cannot be used to show detailed differences because the human eye cannot readily
pick up minor differences in pictures. In addition, although you can see obvious differences
in sizes, you cannot accurately tell, for example, whether one picture is twice or twice-and-a-
quarter as big as another. Sometimes, as in Figure 1, a pictogram includes numbers, which are
used to give a more accurate idea of the varying sizes. Pictograms are used to make statistics
simple for the general public, for whom they are usually attractive and appealing.
Figure 1: Adapted from Campbell, Ken. 1980. The Caribbean. p. 54.
Sugar
Exports in 1977 *Antigua, St Kitts and Nevis, Anguilla,
(thousand tonnes) Dominica, Grenada, St Lucia, St Vincent
*Leeward and
Windward Islands
Rest of world 39 Trinidad and Tobago
20,353
141
Barbados
Cuba
106
6,238
Jamaica Dominican
222 Republic
1,117
Pie Charts
A pie chart is a figure based on the picture of a round pie cut up into pieces. A pizza cut up into
slices creates the same kind of picture. Each slice represents a different item, but all the slices
together represent a whole. Each slice, according to its size, is a certain percentage of the whole
and all the slices together add up to 100%. Figure 2 is an example of a pie chart.
Figure 2
Transportation &
Communication Services
Trade & 8.0%
Commerce 23.8%
8.0%
Construction 7.9%
Others
2.9%
20.2%
29.2%
Mining &
Manufacturing
Agriculture
& Fisheries
A pie chart is easy to understand because, as in the case of the pictogram, you can see the
differences in the sizes of the slices and consciously or unconsciously you know that it is a
matter of a whole cut up into parts. In everyday language people talk about “getting a piece of
the pie/slice of the cake” and “dividing up the cake”, expressions which are directly related to
the concept of a pie chart.
Unless each slice carries a number indicating the percentage of the whole, detailed differences
are difficult to identify. Since the pie chart’s slices are expressed as percentages you have no idea
of the actual volume or number involved, for example, in terms of tons or dollars.
Line Graphs
A line graph, like a bar chart, is a figure relating horizontal and vertical items. A line graph is
usually a part of early mathematics and so is familiar to many people.
A line graph is used to show, e.g., how an item changes over a period of time or from one
class to another. In popular literature line graphs demonstrate success/rise or failure/decline in
companies and in sales of products.
Line graphs vary according to the purpose for which they are intended. There are line graphs
with straight lines, with various types of curved lines, which can be plotted in minute detail on
different types of graph paper, and there are line graphs which are meant just to give a rough
picture. Of course, the more specialised the graph is, the more knowledge it requires to interpret
it.
Bar Charts
A bar chart is a figure with rectangles side by side which normally have the same width but which
vary in height to show different values (that is, amounts/numbers) of items (Fig. 3). The term
block diagram is sometimes used for bar chart. Bar charts can be drawn to look three-dimensional
(Fig. 4) and they can also be coloured or shaded to compare more than one item at a time (Fig.
5). The scientific-looking word histogram is used for the simple kind of bar chart. However, some
books and specialists in statistics use the word “histogram” not only for the simple bar chart but
for one in which the information in the figure is organized in a specific way (see Fig. 6).
Figure 3
2500
2,220
2000
*Grenada, St Vincent, St Lucia, Domonica
1500
1,056 1,080
1000 801
500
169
0 Domonican Guadeloupe Jamaica Martinique *Windward

Republic Islands
Figure 4
1,318,360
I":I~
Bahamas
1,400,000 LI
Bermuda
1,200,000
1,000,000
Trinidad and Tobago

Martinique
Jamaica
800,000 I572,855
Barbados
600,000 385,903
I i i I c::=:::J
372,391
St Lucia
4000,000 c::::
270,500 I
244,300 I
2000,000 -+-0
142,000 .....
Bar charts and line graphs can display the same information, but whereas the line graph gives
a sense of movement, the bar chart gives the appearance of separate segments and highlights
differences in heights of these separate segments. Bar charts are not as deceptive and simplistic
as pictograms; on the other hand they are not as appealing and not
*Grenada, as easySttoLucia,
St Vincent, understand.
DomonicaAs in
the case of line graphs, the reader always has to be looking at the numbers/items on the vertical
line on the left together with the numbers/items on the horizontal line at the bottom.
Figure 5: Histogram
FISHING
Data for 20XX
7,230
1,010
425 430
374 400
356
334
100
84
55
46
11
Bahamas Barbados Cuba Dom. Republic Grenada Jamaica Trinidad & Tobago
D Annual catch (tonnesx10)
• Annual catch per head of population (kilos)

*Grenada, St Vincent, St Lucia, Domonica

Figure 6
80
70
60
50
40
30
20
10
Tables
The most common form in which statistics are presented is by the use of a table. Every book,
for example, contains a table of contents which gives chapter headings (and subheadings) and
the page on which they start. Every secondary school student who has done mathematics will
have used a book of mathematical tables containing logs, square roots, sine, cosine, tan, and so
on. A table presents information vertically and horizontally with headings and numbers.
The disadvantage of a table is that it has to be read and understood. You may say that whereas
pictorial figures (pie chart, bar chart, line graph, pictogram) thrust information and interpretations
at you, tables are passive in that they require a greater effort on your part. They tend to be
discouraging when they are dense, that is having a lot of numbers and headings concentrated in
a small area. It requires a measure of concentration to follow information line by line, column
by column, to make calculations and to come to conclusions.
The main advantage of a table is its flexibility. In pictorial figures there is not a lot of room for
headings and subheadings, but in a table there is. In addition, a table can be dense and detailed
or simple and selective. It allows you to present more information in a smaller space than any
other figure does. It is easier to construct than a pictorial figure.
Diagrams and Charts

In addition to the above, figures used in reports which are not necessarily for the purpose of
correlation are diagrams and charts. Diagrams are often used to show the structure or parts of
an item and vary from being detailed to being very simple. Diagrams are common in technical
reports which form part of bigger reports on proposals submitted to banks for funding. On
a smaller scale, diagrams for proposed new houses and buildings are included in reports on
requests for loans and in progress reports.
Organisational and Flow Charts

An organisational chart is mostly used to show the hierarchical structure of the divisions of a
company or institution, or of the people in a company or institution.
A flow chart to some extent looks like an organisational chart. A flow chart usually has arrows
which are used to show sequence and relationship between elements identified on the chart. A
flow chart usually explains a process or development and can be used for various subjects.
Abuse of Visual Aids

While all visual aids can be useful for reducing data to simplicity, they can be deceptive, regardless
of whether they are deliberately constructed to be so or not. Although authors sometimes give
false data, it is distortion in presentation which is a greater problem. Optical illusions with
simple figures are quite common and so is dishonesty on the part of those who draw figures.
A salesman trying to impress a client about performance of his company may use a line graph
constructed to make the line climb steeply, thereby suggesting a dramatic increase. For example,
in Figures 7 and 8 the same numbers (data) are plotted on two graphs, one giving a selected
view (Fig. 7 gives 36-54) the other a bigger view (Fig. 8 gives 0-100). The visual effect is quite
different. Pictograms create the greatest illusion of difference because, unlike bar charts, the
figure multiplies not only vertically but also horizontally.
Figure 7 Figure 8
SALES
100
58 90
/' 80
54
70
50 ~ 60 ;:;;.
46 ~ 50
40
42 / 30
38 ,.-
/ 20
10
34 , , , T , 0 , , , , T , -,
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89
- - YEARS - - YEARS
Information and Statistics Presented in Essay Form

If data, analysis and conclusions are the three components of a report, the three should be
differentiated even though in most everyday arguments they are not. In addition, they should
be given in a logical order. Statistical information occurs not only as sections set apart in long
reports but also in descriptions of places, narration of events, as parts of advertisements,
in commentaries on games and in countless other situations. In reports, however, statistical
information should be clear even when it is not separate and distinct from descriptive material.
In a report instead of numbers (digits) there may be words; instead of graphs and charts there
may be words like “more than”, “better than”, “the greatest”, “normal”, “common”. Such
information may be less graphic but is not less valid than that presented in distinct figures and
charts.
Raw Numbers and Percentages

In many cases whether you present information as raw numbers (that is, dollars and cents,
pounds, and so forth) or as percentages depends on which serves your purpose better, especially
if you are in commercial business. For example, suppose you and your competitor quote prices
as follows:
Your competitor’s prices:
Item 1 - $ .55; Item 2 - $ .50; Item 3 - $ .19; Item 4 - $ .15;

Your prices: $.49; $.47; $. 17; $. 10.
You may tell the consumer that he/she will be saving
11% 6% 11% 33%
respectively, if your items are bought, and that overall your store/service is 15% cheaper than
your competitor’s. The use of percentages in this way seems to inflate the difference in prices,
but this kind of statement is not treated as dishonest or illegal. It is assumed that the consumer
can tell the difference between numbers and percentages.
It is important therefore to be aware of the different ways of presenting data so that when you
are the presenter you choose the way which suits your purpose best, and when you are the reader
you realise how the data would look if presented otherwise. It is not possible to point out all
the flaws which can occur in data. You should look out for the following when examining data:
• oversimplification in figures or in vague headings

• distortions in presentation
• pseudo-accuracy e.g. totals giving you numbers down to the last fraction of a cent or
pound
• spurious comparisons
• use of percentages sometimes and raw numbers sometimes
• use of percentages when small numbers are involved e.g. saying that the change from 1
to 2 is 100% increase
• selection of statistics which support and suppression of those which do not
• using bad samples.
The Language to Use in Presenting Statistics

Remember that each subject area has developed its own jargon. There is no one style of English
that is perfect and appropriate for all subjects. Whether the purists of English like it or not,
being able to produce the jargon of the subject is much more impressive in real life (as opposed
to classroom) situations than it seems healthy to admit. It is foolhardy, however, to concentrate
on jargon, unless you intend to be a con artist. Neither consistently simple language nor an
overdose of jargon is recommended. Choice of key words in the subject, strategic placement of
these and use of English structures which suggest objectivity rather than personal opinions or
subjectivity is what is recommended, if your intention is to create confidence in those who read
or hear what you say.
“The mean annual rainfall in Barbuda” seems more precise and impressive than “the average
amount of rain that falls in Barbuda every year”. It suggests that you know how to use the term
mean in a sentence and not simply that you have learnt by heart the definition of mean. You
should demonstrate your familiarity with the use of terms rather than announce or continually
define what they mean. If you want to make sure that the reader understands the term, use an
alternative, simpler term when it occurs a second or third time.
In your sentences you should be conscious of the structures which suggest subjectivity and
those which suggest objectivity. Note the difference between
I conclude that... The evidence leads to the conclusion that...
A possible conclusion is that...
I would argue that... There is the justifiable argument that...
Summary of Points
• Be aware of the jargon of the subject.
• Do not be too simple but avoid too much jargon.
• Fit the jargon smoothly into the sentence – show that you can use it; do not try to
impress the reader that you know the meaning.
• Use figures where appropriate, but also be able to explain and argue with words alone.
• Be subjective where necessary; be objective where necessary.
Comparison and Contrast

In comparison you are identifying things that are alike.
In contrast you are identifying things that are different (reread the section on comparison and
contrast in Section Five).
The following are a few tips on the organisation of a report in which there are comparisons and
contrasts.
• List the points that are to be included.

• Arrange them under headings according to:
– visible and concrete features, for example, colour, number, size, weight
– value, for example, cost, usefulness, worth, performance, achievement.
• Choose one of the two methods of comparing/contrasting in an essay.
(i) one thing completely + other thing completely + synthesis

(Note: This is a simple method in which you describe/analyse one of the things
which you are dealing with completely, then you describe the other, and, as an
ending, conclude with an assessment in which you look at crucial points in the
two.)
(ii) point by point + summary
(This is a more difficult method in which you pick out crucial points in the two
things for comparison/contrast, deal with them one by one, after which you
summarise and conclude.)
• Pay attention to parallelism in sentence structure.
Compare/contrast like with like (= parallelism) noun with noun, verb with verb, adjective with
adjective, theory with theory, people with people, argument with argument.
Examples:
Not Democracy is good whereas anarchists are bad.
but Democracy is good whereas anarchy is bad.
Not St Lucians live in a small island but China is a big country.

but St Lucia is a small country but China is a big country.
Not My point is that AIDS sufferers should be isolated but your opinion is that AIDS is not
contracted casually.
but My point is that AIDS sufferers should be isolated but yours is that they should not be
because AIDS is not contracted casually.
Reference Material
Material placed after the body of the report is included for purposes of reference. It may include
questionnaires, relevant documents, or building plans which are too long or bulky to be included
in the main part of the document. Such additional material is identified as appendices and given
numbers in sequence.
Where other works are mentioned or quoted in the report, they have to be assembled together
and included as a bibliography, if they are not already identified in detail in footnotes or endnotes.
The Resumé
The resumé, which is also referred to as the curriculum vitae, is a document that every one, the
university student in particular, needs when applying for a job. It is a record of one’s educational
and professional experience, and it reveals much more than one can comfortably include in
a letter of application. Decisions about jobs are often made on the strength of the resumé.
Therefore it is important that the resumé contain all the pertinent information that is required,
that it is well organised and that the presentation is neat and attractive. The resumé is usually
sent with a letter of application or a cover letter, and the information that is provided in both
should be consistent.
Pre-writing Activities
As with the writing of most other kinds of documents, there are pre-writing activities that one
must engage in when preparing a resumé. One must compile a list with the information that
has to be included in the resumé. This consists of information about educational background,
employment history, work experience (where it is different from employment history) special
achievements or accomplishments, awards, honours and other interests or hobbies. The
significant dates that correspond to education and employment history must also be noted. You
should examine different formats for the resume and decide which is the best one for your needs
in the particular instance.
Organising and Writing the Resumé

The organisation of the resumé will depend on the format that is selected. In this section
we present three samples that represent three different formats. You will find that the first
resumé you prepare will be useful to you in the preparation of subsequent versions. Most
people keep a file with their basic resumé and they update it as they add to their experience and
accomplishments. This makes the task of preparing subsequent versions much simpler; for one
thing one does not have to try to remember all the details that were included in the first version.
For the most part, they will remain relevant to the resumé so that the task becomes one of
adding and reorganising information.
The three formats that can be used for the resumé are (i) the traditional format (see sample
A), (ii) the functional format (sample B) and (iii) one that we call the format of selective focus
(sample C).
i) The traditional format is commonly used, and the information is set out chronologically,
with the more recent accomplishments presented first. In the traditional resumé the
development of one’s career is given prominence, and it is possible to follow the career
path of an individual from examining the traditional resumé. The styles of organisation
may vary slightly, but the type and order of information is standard.
ii) The second format – the functional format (see sample B) – sets out the information in
such a way that the skills and experience are given prominence. This kind of format is
slightly more flexible than the traditional format since one can vary the organisation to
some extent. The functional resumé is useful in a situation in which one has a chequered
career path and there are gaps in the chronological listing that would look odd and might
raise questions on a traditional resumé.
iii) The third format is the one that we call the format of selective focus (see sample C)
and this is similar in some ways to the functional resumé, the difference being that
the former is organised to show the strengths of an individual for a specific job. The
skills and accomplishments that are considered relevant for the job in question are given
prominence in this type of resumé. Also, the employment goal of the individual is clearly
stated at the beginning of the resumé. This item is optional in the other two formats.
The resumé of selective focus is not as common as the two other types of resumé and
it is only likely to be used when an individual believes that he or she has a very good
chance for the job in question.
The samples that we provide give an indication of the order in which the information is usually
presented. However, you should note the following points and use them as guides as you prepare
your resumé.
• Do not clutter the page
• Use section headings and present the information systematically under each.
• Include only the information that is essential; leave out trivial details.
• Use clear and concise language and use structures without the subject; this means
that sentences will be truncated. For instance: Conducted research on marketing strategies of
pharmaceutical companies. Not: I conducted research on the marketing strategies that are used by
pharmaceutical companies.
• Omit all unnecessary words and phrases; in the example above the following are omitted:
I, the, that are used by.
• Do not include your current salary or the salary that you hope to get in the new job;
these are matters that are negotiated in interview if you become a serious contender for
the position.
The following are the main sections of the resumé.
• The heading. This part of the resumé will include personal information such as your
name, address and telephone number. If you expect to move to a different address and
you have that information, you should provide it and indicate the date at which you may
be contacted at the new address. Other personal information that may be included is
your marital status.
• The employment goal. This is usually included in the resumé of selective focus, but it is
optional in the other two.
• Educational background. Those who have attended university will usually begin the
educational history from that point. Here, all the qualifications must be listed beginning
with the more recent qualifications first. Others who do not have a university education
list their high school qualifications (CXC, O and A levels and any other certificates).
• Employment history/work experience. In this section all work experience should be included.
The title of each job held and the period for which it was held must be included. The
address of the employer must also be provided. It is important to provide information
on both part and full-time employment so that the employer will get a good sense of
your experience.
• Publications. For those pursuing academic careers this is an important section since
jobs are often given on the basis of whether one is contributing to one’s profession by
conducting research and writing papers.
• Other professional interests. Here, list any activities that are related to your career, for
example, membership in professional groups. Some make a distinction between other
professional interests and activities of general interest. It is neater to keep two distinct
categories.
• Other activities/hobbies. As this heading suggests, you may list any activities in which you
are engaged so as to give an indication of your broader interests.
• References.
Here, you may simply indicate that the names of referees will be provided
upon request.
The following three samples represent the formats that we have discussed. Each sample is for the
same individual, Anthony Rocheford. A sample letter of application which would accompany
the first resumé is presented on page 516. When you prepare your resumé you should try as
far as possible to present all the information on one page. However, as your experience grows
and you publish more papers, the length will increase. Always strive for brevity and clarity of
presentation and expression.
Sample A – Traditional Format

Resumé
I. Personal data:
Name: Anthony Rocheford
Permanent Address: #23 Tulip Drive Temporary address (until May, 2011)
Oxnards c/o School of Business Administration
St James University of Miami
Barbados Coral Gables, Miami 33124-4632
Telephone: 424-1234 United States of America
Marital Status: Married, with 2 children
II. Educational background:

1994 – MBA Programme with specialisation in marketing and research strategies
1992-1993 Diploma in Business Administration, College of Arts, Science and Technology,
Kingston, Jamaica
1983-1986 B.Sc. Business Administration (with Upper Second Class honours) University
of the West Indies, Cave Hill
III. Work experience:

1993-1994 Manager, Marketing Systems, Better Business Deals Ltd., Bridgetown,
Barbados
1987-1992 Systems Analyst, Barbados Business Machines, Bridgetown, Barbados
Summer, 1985 Sales representative, Pharmaceuticals Distributors Inc., Bridgetown,
Barbados
August-Dec. 1984 Research Assistant, pharmaceuticals research. With Professor H.
Mayers
Summer, 1983 Intern, Computer Analysts Ltd, Wildey, Barbados
IV. Other activities:

1993 – Member, Business Managers Association, Barbados
1991 -1992 President, Pharmaceutical Marketing Group, Eastern Caribbean
1990 – Member, the Rotary Club, Barbados chapter.
V. Hobbies/other interests: Football, cricket, jet skiing.

VI. References: Available upon request
Sample B – Functional Format
I. Personal data:
Permanent Address: #23 Tulip Drive Temporary address (until May, 2011)
Oxnards c/o School of Business Administration
St James University of Miami
Barbados Coral Gables, Miami 33124-4632
Telephone: 424-1234 United States of America
II Employment goal: Work in marketing research – emphasis on pharmaceuticals –

interest in management
III. Education: MBA with specialisation in marketing and research strategies

(graduated with distinction). Degree awarded June 1996.
Diploma in Business Administration, College of Arts, Science
and Technology, Kingston, Jamaica, 1992-1993
B. Sc. Business Administration (with Upper Second Class
honours) University of the West Indies, Cave Hill, 1983-1986
IV. Skills: • Published several articles on marketing management and

research; the two most recent: “The fair market share.” In Business
Week, Vol. 2:3,1995 and “Systems management and marketing
practices in the promotion of Pharmaceuticals.” In The Business
Manager, No. 7. Pgs. 10 - 20.
• Organised local and regional seminars for Business
Managers Association – March, May, September 1993; July –
August, 1994.
• Successfully completed two marketing research projects in
collaboration with Regional Marketing Inc. (St Lucia)
• Consultant to Better Business Machines, Blades
Pharmaceuticals, and The Better Burger.
V. Honours and Awards: Best marketing manager, 1992

Rotary scholarship for MBA, 1993
Merit award for excellence in research, 1994
VI. References: Available upon request.

Sample C – Selective Focus Format
I. Personal data:
Permanent Address: #23 Tulip Drive
Oxnards, St James
Telephone: 424-1234
II. Employment goal: Director of Marketing and Research
III. Education: MBA with specialisation in marketing and research strategies

(graduated with distinction). Degree awarded June 1996.
Diploma in Business Administration, College of Arts, Science
and Technology, Kingston, Jamaica, 1992-1993. Self financed.
B. Sc. Business Administration (with Upper Second Class
honours) University of the West Indies, Cave Hill, 1983-1986.
IV. Special skills/abilities: • Appropriate educational training and qualifications in

the field
• Several years of work experience in the relevant fields.
• Practical experience in research and marketing
procedures
• Good organisational skills
• Completed several courses in business communication
V. Achievements: • Rotary scholar, 1993

• Award for excellence in marketing research
• President of Pharmaceutical Marketing Group, Eastern
Caribbean
• Business consultant to several companies
VI. Work experience: Manager, Marketing Systems, Better Business Deals Ltd.,
Bridgetown, Barbados, 1993-1994
Systems Analyst, Barbados Business Machines, Bridgetown,
1987-1992
Sales representative, Pharmaceuticals Distributors Inc.,
Bridgetown, Barbados, Summer, 1985
Research Assistant, pharmaceuticals research. With Professor H.
Mayers, August - Dec. 1984
Intern, Computer Analysts Ltd, Wildey, Barbados, Summer 1983
VII. Other activities: Member, Business Managers Association, Barbados, 1993-

1994.
President, Pharmaceutical Marketing Group, Eastern
Caribbean, 1991-1992
Member, the Rotary Club, Barbados chapter, 1990 – current.
VIII. Hobbies/ Football, cricket, jet skiing, reading and gardening

other interests:
IX. References: Available upon request
Application: The Resumé

Think about the job that you would like to do after you have graduated from university and
prepare a resumé using each of the three formats presented in this section. Use the following
checklist to check your work after you have written them.
• Have you included all the essential information about yourself ?

• Check the headings under each format to ensure that you have listed them all and
included the appropriate information under each.
• Check the organisation of the information; have you included the more recent
achievements first?
• Have you used truncated sentences?
• Check your grammar, punctuation and spelling for accuracy.
• Check for any typographical errors. If you have not typed the resumé, be sure to do so.
• Proofread the three documents carefully before you submit them.
•
Memos and Letters
Memos and letters are the lifeblood of business organisations. They are the communication
tools within the business organisation and between the business and the public. The quality
of this communication affects the quality of the management of the business. What is more,
whether this communication is effective or not can make a difference to the success or failure of
the company. To be effective in a highly competitive environment, therefore, letters and memos
need to be accurate, concise, clear and complete. Lack of these characteristics is likely to cost
the company time and money. Specifically, I am in the market for a product and I write two
companies for information on two different brands, receive replies from both, but one packet
of information is clear, concise, accurate and complete and the other is not. I decide, from the
information I have been sent, to buy the product from the company which has communicated
the product information more effectively, despite the fact that, in reality, the product from the
other company is a better product. This, however, was not communicated to me. This is an
instance of ineffective communication causing a company to lose business, despite having a
better product.
Memos and letters are similar in that they are both short in length and they both treat a single
issue. However, they have different characteristics and are used for different functions. Memos
are informal in nature and are used for internal communications between people who work in
the same company/institution, have a working relationship and communicate on a continuing
basis. Letters, on the other hand, are more formal, detached and impersonal in nature and are
generally used for communications to people outside the company/institution. The writer often
does not know the recipient. Because of these last two factors, writers of letters have to be more
careful in their communications since letters are essentially a public relations medium for the
company/institution. An inaccurate, unclear, sloppy letter containing many grammatical errors
can reflect badly on the writer and the company and may lead to lack of credibility.
Memos and letters are also different in format. Following is a sample memo in the typical memo
format. The only variation in this format one may find is in the sequence of the four headings
at the top left. Sometimes the date is put last instead of first.
MINISTRY OF HEALTH
MEMORANDUM
Date: 21 June 2012

To: Roy Cadogan, Chief, Psychiatry Service
From: Joyce Walters, Coordinator, Rock Dundo Polyclinic
Subject: Need for Additional Staff
I hope that you will support my request to the Board at its meeting next week that we add an
additional clinician to our staff at the Rock Dundo Polyclinic. The three clinicians presently on
staff have been carrying much heavier caseloads than normal and this has resulted in low staff
morale, an increase in the staff turnover rate and a subsequent decrease in patient services. The
norm for the patient/clinician ratio that has been established over the years is 90-100:1 per week.
Our present ratio is 131:1 per week.
I have surveyed three of the other polyclinics which are of comparable size to the Rock Dundo
Polyclinic. They are all within the norm. Their patient/clinician ratios are as follows:
Brighton Polyclinic, St. Michael – 96:1 per week
Salters Polyclinic, St. George – 98:1 per week
Boscobelle Polyclinic, St. Peter – 100:1 per week
To raise staff morale, I have tried lowering individual caseloads to 100:1 per week, but this has
resulted in a waiting list and dissatisfaction on the part of patients because of the consequent
delays in the delivery of services that have ensued. Patients sometimes have to wait for a month
after intake before they can receive treatment. This delay in treatment can be disastrous for
patients needing psychiatric help.
It is clear that our patient intake has grown and in order to continue to deliver a satisfactory level
of service at the Rock Dundo Polyclinic the addition of another clinician to our staff is crucial.
With your support, I hope the Board will approve funds to hire this additional clinician.
Note that there is no formal complimentary opening or closing and that the memo is signed
on the ‘From’ line; often initials are enough. Sometimes it may be signed at the end of the text.
The following are the three conventional formats of letters. Your choice of format (traditional,
semi-block or full block) will depend on the company‘s/institution’s preferences and/or your
own style.
Traditional Format
KINGSTON COMMUNITY COLLEGE

Office of the Dean
Kingston, Jamaica
Tel: (809) 998-2213
2 May 2012
Miss Stephanie Butler
Stony Hill
St. Thomas.
Dear Miss Butler,
I enjoyed speaking with you in March regarding your application to be admitted as a student
at Kingston Community College.
As I discussed with you at that time, our Admissions Committee has established a policy that
prospective students of Kingston Community College must receive a score of 50/100 or better
on our entry-level English and Math Proficiency Test to be admitted to the College. Since your
test score was below 50, we will not be able to admit you at this time.
However, you can re-sit the test again in the summer, and if you pass it at that time, we would
be happy to reconsider your application for the September term. It might interest you to know
that we offer a summer course which can help you to improve your basic skills in these areas.
Jean Blades in our Testing Office (Ext.431) can send you information on this course.
Thank you again for applying to Kingston Community College.
Yours sincerely,
Peter Joseph
Admissions Officer
PJ/dk
cc: Jean Blades
Semi-block Format

Office of the Dean
Kingston, Jamaica
Tel: (809) 998-2213
2 May 2012
Stony Hill
St. Thomas.
Dear Miss Butler,
I enjoyed speaking with you in March regarding your application to be admitted as a student at
Kingston Community College.
However, you can re-sit the test again in the summer, and if you pass it at that time, we would be
happy to reconsider your application for the September term. It might interest you to know that
we offer a summer course which can help you to improve your basic skills in these areas. Jean
Blades in our Testing Office (Ext.431) can send you information on this course.
Yours sincerely,
Peter Joseph
Admissions Officer
PJ/dk
cc: Jean Blades
Full-block Format

Office of the Dean
Kingston, Jamaica
Tel: (809) 998-2213
2 May 2012

Stony Hill
St. Thomas.
Dear Miss Butler,
I enjoyed speaking with you in March regarding your application to be admitted as a student at
Kingston Community College.
However, you can re-sit the test again in the summer, and if you pass it at that time, we would be
happy to reconsider your application for the September term. It might interest you to know that
we offer a summer course which can help you to improve your basic skills in these areas. Jean
Blades in our Testing Office (Ext.431) can send you information on this course.
Yours sincerely,
Peter Joseph
Admissions Officer
PJ/dk
cc: Jean Blades
While memos are informal and dispense with preliminaries and formal closings, letters include
salutations, complimentary closings and full signatures. The following is a list of the various
parts of a letter:
Date
Inside Address:
• name of person you are writing to and title, if known
• company name and full address without abbreviations
• if writing within a country, no need to put country’s name in address.
Salutation:
• include the name of the person you are writing to, if this is known, and the title Mr.
Miss, Ms, Mrs. as appropriate
• if the name is not known, you can use one of the following:
Dear Sir
Gentlemen
Dear Madam
Dear Sir or Madam
• Follow the greeting with a comma.
The Body:
• single space the body and double space between paragraphs
• indent the first word of a paragraph or not, depending on format chosen
• be brief, courteous, accurate.
Complimentary Closing:
• standard business closings include:
Yours faithfully, (with Dear Sir)
Yours sincerely, (with Dear Mr. Jones)
Sincerely,
Yours truly,
Cordially,
• capitalise the first word only.
The Signature:
• your name is typed four spaces below the complimentary closing;
• if applicable, your title may be typed below your typed name.
End Matter:
• type initials of both writer and the person who typed the letter;
• list of people you are sending copies to (cc: John Jones, Liz Smith);
• list of items attached or enclosed if not specified in the body of the letter. If specified,
simply “Enclosures”.
The following is a brief outline of the procedure you should follow when writing a letter or
memo:
• define your objectives

• profile your reader(s)
• organise your content
• write your first draft
• revise for style, tone, format and grammar.
These procedures are not very different from the ones you were given in Section Four on the
writing process. Two aspects that are particularly important in letter writing, however, are the
necessity to know what you want to achieve with your letter or memo and to profile your reader.
These two factors together will control how you organise your letter/memo. For example, if
your objective is persuasive rather than informative only, then you will need to consider whether
your reader will be receptive to your persuasion or not. This consideration will certainly affect
how you write your letter. Tone is also very important in a letter. You have to be careful not to be
brusque, discourteous or accusatory. The right tone of a letter can make the difference between
getting what you want or not getting it.
There are many kinds of letters you may be called on to write in your working life. The most
common types found in the business world are inquiries and requests, giving information,
procedures, instructions, bad news letters (as in the sample format letter) and of course letters
of application.
When you apply for a job, you should submit your resumé (discussed in the previous section)
with a covering letter of application. This letter should be brief (no more than one page) and
courteous. It should specify the job you are applying for, highlight the details in your resumé
that make you a good candidate for the job, and note relevant aspects of your background not
covered in the resumé. You should also note when and where you can be reached by telephone
to schedule an interview. An effective letter of application can impress the reader with your
professionalism and present you as a credible applicant. The letter should follow one of the
standard business formats. A sample application letter is given below for your information.
Letter of Application
25 November 2012
#23 Tulip Drive
Oxnards
St. James.
Mr. Clennel Brathwaite
General Manager
Blades Pharmaceuticals
Hincks Street
Bridgetown.
Dear Mr. Brathwaite,
I am pleased to answer your advertisement in this morning’s Advocate newspaper for an entry-
level position in Marketing at Blades Pharmaceuticals. My qualifications are a recent Bachelor
of Science degree in Business Administration with a concentration in marketing, experience in
sales and an interest in the pharmaceutical field. I believe these would be valuable assets to a
company such as yours.
My educational background has prepared me well for a career in marketing. My concentration
was in the areas of accounting, marketing and sales management. In addition, I explored my
interest in the pharmaceutical field by initiating an independent research project with Professor
Mayers to learn more about pharmacy and how it interacts with the business world.
My employment experience has sharpened my analytical and interpersonal skills. As a Computer
Analyst at Systems Ltd., I have designed and conducted market research and, as Customer Service
Representative at Barbados Business Machines, I have developed an ability to communicate with
all levels of management and to handle effectively interactions with customers.
The attached resumé provides you with the facts about my education and experience, but I would
welcome the opportunity to discuss with you how these might benefit Blades Pharmaceuticals.
Please contact me at the above address or at 496-3122 if you are interested in my application and
would like to arrange an interview.
Yours sincerely,
Anthony Rocheford
ASSIGNMENT: Letter of Application
Imagine that you have just graduated and you have seen an advertisement in the newspaper for
a job in the type of firm/institution that is appropriate to your training. Using the advice given
above, write a letter of application to the firm/institution.
Section 9
Usage and Diction

Chapter 37: Special Problems of Discourse
• Paragraph Structure and Organisation – The Element of Cohesion
• Discourse Connectives – The Element of Coherence
Chapter 38: Word Choice – Diction

• Abstract and Concrete Words
• General and Specific Words
• Denotative and Connotative Words
• Euphemisms
• Idiomatic Expressions
Chapter 39: Figurative Language

• Analogy
• Simile and Metaphor
• Allusions
• Words with Sensory Appeal
Chapter 40: Style

• Formal and Informal Styles
Chapter 41: Vocabulary

• Overused Words and Clichés
- Section 9
517
g
t-
- In this section we discuss special problems of discourse. In Chapter 37 we take another look
at paragraph structure, this time from the point of view of cohesion; we also discuss discourse
connectives and their contribution to coherence. The discussion in this section supplements
information that we provided in Section Four. In Chapter 38 we focus on problems of diction,
and cover six areas with which you should be familiar. Chapter 39 examines some aspects of
figurative language and words with sensory appeal; we discuss only four of the more common
figures of speech in this section. Chapter 40 is short. We return in this section to the question
of style, again with particular reference to formal and informal styles and written discourse.
Chapter 41 deals with special topics of diction, namely, overuse of words. As we have done in
other sections, we include applications on selected topics discussed in the section.
Aims of the Section

• edit paragraphs to make them more coherent;

• use appropriate discourse connectives in paragraphs;
• explain the difference between different figures of speech and comment on their
effectiveness and contribution to the extracts in which they occur;
• use practical strategies for checking your diction.
37
Special
Writing in English Writ- ing in Problems
English Writing of Discourse
in English Writing in English Writing in EnglishWriting in
Paragraph Structure and Organisation – The Element of
Cohesion
As you become more proficient as a writer, you will develop your own ways of approaching the
writing task. For most writers, a plan, however sketchy, is a guide for staying on track with subject
and topic. In Section Four, we discussed ways in which you can use a plan during the pre-writing,
drafting and revision stages of composing to create a paper that is well-developed and in which
the ideas are properly sequenced. You may change plans during the writing process, and you
need not adhere to the original outline or plan. However, it is always necessary in such instances
to review the completed first draft of the essay in the light of the original plan and to draw up a
new plan based on the draft. A comparison of these plans will indicate areas of weakness in the
organisation of the essay, including gaps in information and a lack of continuity of ideas within
and across paragraphs.
One common misconception about paragraphs is that they are used merely to highlight breaks
in the text visually. Every paragraph has a topic which is developed through thand women. To
illustrate, Johne use of subordinate points and/or illustrations, all of which relate directly to the
topic. It is unlikely, therefore, that a one-line or two-line paragraph can be justifiable unless it is
a short transitional paragraph to bridge the ideas between two longer paragraphs. The use of
transitional paragraphs such as these is not haphazard; a good writer will insert such paragraphs
if and when necessary to create cohesion in the work.
One of the elements that contribute to cohesion is continuity in the development of the ideas
in the text. This involves continuity from sentence to sentence, and it is achieved by explicit
markers which can be categorised according to function; by semantic links, for example, the use
of pronominal reference which links a pronoun to its antecedent (usually a noun); and it is also
achieved by organisational structure. Common weaknesses in student essays involve missing
links which are necessary to continue the development of an idea from one sentence to another.
In the rush to put ideas down on paper, you may mistakenly think that an idea that was held in
the mind has been stated and a clear link established between it and others in the paragraph,
only to discover during revision that the idea is not there and that the relationships between
the points are not clear to the reader. Thorough revision of successive drafts of your essay will
eliminate problems such as this. In examinations in which your time for revision is limited, you
need to work quickly, so you are more likely to have gaps in the development of your ideas.
Good time management with sufficient time left for revision of all questions towards the end of
the examination should provide the break that you need from the text to allow you to read it with
a bit more of the objectivity that is required for revision and to ensure that the text is cohesive.
Special Problems of Discourse 519
Other elements that create cohesion are those we discussed in Section Four, namely, (i) the use of
repetition of words and phrases in paragraphs, (ii) maintaining parallelism of sentence structure,
(iii) using anaphoric reference (for example, pronouns that refer to antecedents in earlier text),
and (iv) using transitional and discourse markers, also referred to as cohesive ties. In the section
that follows we amplify the discussion of transitions which we presented in Section Four.
Cohesiveness created through continuity is, in some sense, determined by discourse type.
In narration, for example, the most important factors are time and sequence of events, but
you need not stick slavishly to a chronological time sequence. Many writers make use of the
flashback technique and other changes in time sequence to hold the reader’s interest (refer to
Section Four, Chapter 16). However, changes in the normal time sequence must be planned if
they are not to cause confusion. In exposition, you may develop the paragraphs in the essay
along any of the lines that we have suggested in Section Five, but you need to maintain clear
lines of development. For instance, you may develop your first paragraph by moving from a
general statement that gives the reader an idea of the subject of the essay, and then proceed in
the rest of the paragraph to narrow the subject and end with the thesis of the essay. This kind
of development is referred to as the funnel (the term provides a visual image of the shape of
the paragraph), which is discussed in most texts on writing. You may also use classification and
division, or development by cause and effect, or you may have different patterns of organisation
in different paragraphs. However, you must develop the paragraphs in such a way that they
serve the purpose of making the subject clear, and enable the reader to follow the organisational
structure of the entire essay. The effectiveness of the organisation of your essay should be such
that the reader may be moved to say at the end of it, “This reads well.”
Application: Cohesion
Read through the following paragraphs which are taken from the work of first year students and
check to determine whether there is continuity in the development of ideas from one sentence
to another (or between paragraphs – where relevant) and note the devices through which this
is achieved. If there is a lack of cohesion, indicate the gaps in the text and suggest concrete
revisions which will eliminate the difficulty. No amendments have been made to the students’
original work.
I.
You ask of my mother? Well, she abandoned us when I was only five months
old. Can you imagine that? She claims my father paid more attention to
me than her. I don’t think I’ve suffered because of this neglect like so
many others do; I think it has made me stronger. After her departure my
father put his all into making me what I am today. One would think that
after all the pain she saw my father endure during birth, she would at
least be sympathetic. Father was in labour for months and as he told me,
was overjoyed when he heard that final word “push.” Tears streamed down
his eyes as he watched me – a bouncing baby book roll off the publishing
press. One look at me told him his labour was not in vain. He was even
happier when the publishing house presented him with flowers, pen and a
note pad – a sign that they truly liked his work. If my mother was the one
to give birth [it was not popular then for women to bear children, but it
happens on a large scale today] she would be able to understand the pain
my father endured.
Dawn, C. My Life as a Book
II. Though the symptoms are identifiable and some causes, such as neurofibrillary
tangles and neuritic plaques, have been noted, tracking down the real
cause of the disease remains a monumental task. Researchers have suggested
some possible causes.
For a long time aluminium had been flagged as the cause of the disease. As
noted by Mace and Rabins, recent research has shown that the aluminium
deposits in the brain of some Alzheimer’s victims are the results rather
than the reason for whatever is causing the disease (383-84). Some other
researchers suggest that aluminium may be a trigger for those who are
genetically susceptible to the disease.
Scientific research posits two kinds of Alzheimer’s disease; Familial and

Sporadic. In Familial Alzheimer’s the victim seems to have inherited a
pre-disposition to the disease from immediate family members. Rabins
(a Professor of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Medical Institution), in
discussing the research effort into Alzheimer’s disease, states that
specific abnormalities have been identified on chromosomes 4, 14 and 19.
If a definitive gene marker could be found it would be possible to alert
people early if they are carriers of the disease. Sporadic Alzheimer’s,
on the other hand, comes with old age. Since there are substantially
more people living to an older age (because of improved health care),
Alzheimer’s disease can develop normally in the absence of the accelerator
gene (Cutler 34-39).
Discourse Connectives – The Element of Coherence

•
An essay is made up of paragraphs and paragraphs are made up of sentences. The sentences
should be connected to each other in a logical and meaningful way, with connecting words and
phrases, such as in conclusion, first of all, as a result of this, as transitional markers between sentences.
In argumentative discourse, for example, you have to present your topic and proposition, and
you must present evidence to substantiate the proposition and draw appropriate conclusions.
You must do all this in such a way that the reader is clear about each stage of your argument as
it is presented and also why and how you move from one point to the other.
The reader is moved from stage to stage by discourse and transitional markers that act as key
words, which make the task of following the argument easier. These discourse and transitional
markers can be categorised according to the functions that they serve in the text. In the following
chart, we present examples of words and phrases that exemplify the different categories.
Discourse/transitional markers Examples
1. To signal and introduce time sequence first, next, as soon as, then, later,
before, finally, last, afterwards, during,
in 1990, in the beginning
2. To introduce examples for example, for instance, to illustrate,

as an example, as in the following
example, this is as follows, these are
as follows, consider the following
examples, to illustrate
3. To introduce contrasting ideas whereas, but, on the other hand,

however, by contrast, nevertheless, on
the contrary
4. To signal cause and effect/result therefore, as a result, so, hence,

consequently, as a consequence, in
light of this
5. To signal place close by, in the distance, in the

background, in the foreground,
nearby, further away, to the right,
north, south
6. To signal a comparison/to amplify similarly, in like manner, likewise, just

as, again, further, furthermore, in
addition, also, moreover
7. To emphasise indeed, more/most important,

primarily, precisely because…
8 .To conclude/summarise in conclusion, to sum up, finally, thus,

therefore, in summary
These words are not decorative, that is, they are not used simply to make the sentence sound
impressive. They connect what you are going to say to what you have said before and at the
same time inform the reader that you are going to give more information, you are going to
say something different, you are going to explain something, or that you are going to show the
relationship between one thing and another.
It is also important to pay close attention to the function of some of these words when you read,
because understanding of a specific point may depend upon your interpretation of the function
of these cohesive markers. For instance, it is necessary in summary writing where you need to
distinguish between the main point, subordinate points and the examples given to illustrate or
explain a point; the meaning relationship between these is often established through the use of
cohesive ties such as we have been discussing.
Application: Transitional and Discourse Connectives

For each of the following extracts, (a) underline all the words and phrases that function as
transitional and discourse markers, and comment on their effectiveness in the work; (b)
determine whether there are any places in the text that the writer might have used transitions
to create cohesion; (c) comment on any other aspects of the work that you think particularly
commendable or that require some special attention. After you do this, compare your notes
with a classmate to see whether you agree in your assessments of the writing. As with the other
extracts in this section, the writing is from the portfolios of first-year students.
I.
In both drawings the women cling to their dying lovers. The woman in the
drawing on the left, however, appears to be more resigned to her lover’s
death as is reflected in her face which is raised passively towards heaven.
This is in contrast to the woman in the drawing on the right whose
contorted face highlights the depth of grief felt by her, as well as her
unwillingness to accept her lover’s death.
The drawing on the left is done in watercolour while that on the right
is a chalk version. This also tends to accentuate the lovers’ emotions.
The watercolour version with its smooth lines make for a neat effect,
thus highlighting the quiet acceptance of death; an acceptance which is
further reflected in the height of the wall which extends above the height
of the lovers and adds to their complacency. In the chalk version the
lines are less clearly defined, and this, coupled with the broken wall
symbolises the depth of the emotions – the resistance towards death.
II. Fixing a flat tyre is one of the simple things that can be done by anyone.
After noticing that one of the tyres on the vehicle has gone flat, quickly,
but cautiously move to the shoulder of the road or to an area where you
will not obstruct other vehicles. When you have come to a complete stop,
put your hazard lights on and pull your hand brakes up. Observe from which
direction cars are approaching and place a bright object ten feet away
from your car in that direction. Get the tools that you need to make this
change, tools being jack, wheel spanner and spare tyre. Take the wheel
spanner and loosen the nuts on the damaged wheel. Then place the jack in
the space provided beneath the vehicle. Turn the jack’s handle until the
damaged wheel is an inch or two off the ground. Then completely remove the
nuts and the wheel. Replace the space with the spare wheel. Be sure to
align the holes on the wheel with the bolts on the hub. When this is in
place replace the nuts and tighten until the wheel begins to spin. Lower
the vehicle and again tighten the nuts. Place the tools back in the trunk
of the vehicle and you may proceed to your original destination. Hopefully
another tyre will not go flat before you get the damaged tyre fixed.
III. Similarly, the majority of car commercials on television are addressed

to a male audience. In Car and Driver magazine there is a distinct brand
of language-based sexism which excludes female participation in the “male”
pursuit of car appreciation and perpetuates damaging stereotypes of men
and women. To illustrate, John Phillips writes in his article Thrills
and Agony: the ERA GT: “The first thing tourists do when they encounter
Michelangelo’s Pieta is to touch it. Also, this is the first thing every
male child attempts when he encounters Stephanie Seymour or an ERA GT....”
Obviously this alienates women; it is showing them where they belong (in
the fantasies of young boys) and where they don’t (touching an ERA GT with
‘male’ admiration).
IV. Read each of the following sentences and in each case fill the blank with an appropriate
cohesive marker. You may refer to the selection of transitional discourse markers given
earlier in this section.
1. The principal suspended the student for a month; ___________, he said that if the
student did some community service, he might consider reinstating him earlier.
2. I thought the penalty was too harsh; __________, the requirement for community
service could well be considered as additional punishment.
3. I did not do the things he accused me of and __________saw no reason why I

should be punished.
4. He had not attended classes for an entire semester _________the dean assumed
that he had withdrawn voluntarily from the programme.
5. __________ these circumstances, I don’t think that I will return to that college.
•
38
Word Choice – Diction
Writers can manipulate words in different ways in discourse to achieve their purpose. Some
writers have a sophisticated diction and are able to master the use of words for their literal and
non-literal meanings. Some writers strive for effect and sometimes use words inappropriately.
Good diction and appropriate usage depend on how developed the writer’s vocabulary is, and
on his or her ability to choose the right word for a particular context. Appropriate diction also
depends on the purpose of the writer, subject matter, audience and the attitude of the author
to his or her material.
Abstract/Concrete Words
Words can be sorted into abstract and concrete types. Abstract words are those that have as their
referents ideas, qualities, attitudes and characteristics, concepts that we know only intellectually,
not through our senses. The word loyalty is abstract, so are love, tolerance, and any other word that
stands for something we cannot see or perceive. Concrete words, on the other hand, refer to
objects, living things, and activities that we can see and/or know through our senses. Swimming
and running are concrete terms, as are kitten, girl, tree, rough and pink. We perceive the concrete
through our senses; we conceive the abstract through our intellect.
Besides sorting words into abstract and concrete types, we also need to recognise degrees and
levels within each category. House is a concrete term, but it is much less exclusive than two-storey
bungalow. Philosophy is more inclusive than existentialism and literature is more inclusive than poetry.
General/Specific Words
It is important to distinguish between general and specific words. General words have as their
referents large groups or broad categories – for example, people, country and history. Specific words
have as their referents individuals, particular items or groups and so forth. For instance, Maya
Angelou, Trinidad and Rastafarians are all specific words.
If we consider these categories we can say that generally speaking, specific words tend to be
concrete and general words tend to be abstract, but there is not a direct binary relationship
between them. While the word religion is both abstract and general, the term creative people is
general but it is not abstract. However, because there is an area of overlap between these
categories, discourse that is predominantly general tends towards abstraction, and discourse that
is predominantly specific tends towards concreteness.
Most books on writing will advise writers to “Be as concrete as possible,” and to “be more
specific,” however, one cannot adhere rigidly to this advice because we must often use abstract
Word Choice – Diction 525
language if we want to write about anything more important than the weather. To discuss values,
beliefs and theories (which are usually the types of subject matter of academic discourse), we
have to employ conceptual, abstract language. However, discourse that is totally abstract and/
or general is often dull, and in many cases not easy to comprehend. The ideal then, is often a
combination of the two types rather than one or the other exclusively.
Denotative/Connotative Words
Words are also classed as denotative or connotative. Denotation is the referring function of words,
that is, one can point to a thing or object and that would be the referent or the thing that the
word denotes. Dictionaries list the denotative meanings of words, and when we use the word for
its denotation we generally agree on its meaning. Words also have connotations in addition to
their denotative meanings. The connotations refer to the other associations that come to mind
when we use a word; these have different shades of meaning and carry emotional nuances which
might be either positive or negative. When we describe a person as thin we are using the word
neutrally and in its literal sense to refer to the fact that the person “has little fat or flesh.” In
this sense, we have used the word for its denotative meaning or to refer to something to which
we can point and say “thin” and generally agree upon as being thin. However, we could convey
this same basic meaning (of having little fat...) in other ways. We could say, for example, that
the person was slender, skinny, slim or svelte. These words have the same general meaning as thin;
however, slender and svelte are complimentary; skinny tends to be negative and slim is neutral. These
three words therefore connote thinness but they also carry an overlay or nuance of positive or
negative feelings associated with thin. Connotation therefore refers to the emotional overtones
that words carry with them, and connotation is often used for persuasive and poetic purposes.
A word can have both a denotative and a connotative use. Whether a particular word has a
positive or negative connotation sometimes depends on the individual’s orientation or on the
context in which it is used. To someone who is politically liberal the word conservative is negative
and socialist is positive, but to someone who is politically conservative the negative and positive
connotations of these two words are reversed.
The use of the word free in the following contexts is positive and negative, respectively. (i) John
has a free hand. (ii) John advocates free love.
Overuse of connotative words can result in lack of clarity, but to eliminate emotional language
from certain kinds of writing would result in language that is dull and flat. What you have to
remember is that connotative words are more appropriate to certain types of discourse (artistic
discourse, expressive writing, persuasive discourse), but are not appropriate to others (for
example, scientific and technical discourse). We need to be careful when we use words that are
overloaded because they may not be interpreted by two listeners to mean exactly the same thing.
Some use connotative words and emotionally charged language as a means of persuasion, so it
is important to recognise when words are being used for this purpose. We also need to develop
sensitivity to connotation so that we do not misuse words in our own writing. Most dictionaries
will list some connotative meanings of words and you can always check to determine whether
the use of the word would be appropriate in the context in which you intend to use it. A
thesaurus will also present a list of synonyms and antonyms for a given word. Our choice of
words will depend on our purpose, on the context of use and on our audience. It is important
to pay attention to diction and to choose words for their clarity, appropriateness, usefulness (and
flair) in the contexts that we use them.
Euphemisms
A euphemism is an expression with positive or favourable connotations that we use instead of
a word or expression with unpleasant or unfavourable connotations. We use euphemisms in
circumstances when we want to refer to a particular idea or concept that is considered socially
unacceptable, embarrassing, offensive or “politically incorrect.” In certain contexts we tend to
avoid direct reference conveyed by the use of toilet so instead we use restroom, or powder room, or
the more general bathroom. Many people avoid using the word died and will substitute the phrase
passed on, or made his/her transition (more frequently used nowadays). It is clear that some uses of
words or expressions, like made his/her transition for died are closely tied to changing beliefs. This
explains usage like exceptional child or intellectually challenged for retarded. It has become unacceptable
in several quarters to use retarded to refer to people born with Down’s syndrome. One of the
authors recently heard on an international broadcast media the term factually challenged to mean
liar, you may well ask, can the use of euphemisms be taken too far?
Idiomatic Expressions
The idioms of a language constitute non-literal use of language. Idioms are expressions with
set meanings that cannot be determined by examining the meaning of individual words in the
expression. Idiomatic expressions are widely used in some languages and are understood by
the native speakers of the language in question. Second-language learners make mistakes with
idiomatic expressions because they try to impose literal interpretations on them. An example
often cited in some second language learning texts is that of a second language learner who,
trying to express the fact that he had been lost, said “I lost my road” using “road” inappropriately
in the idiom “I lost my way.” The meanings of idioms do not follow “normal logic” of linguistic
expressions and therefore cannot be worked out in the way that the second language learner
attempted to do.
Word Choice – Diction 527
The following are some idiomatic expressions in English.
• kick the bucket

• hard and fast
• to give in
• to be hard done by
• in the guise of
• with a view to
One cannot be “creative” with idiomatic expressions in the same way that one can be with other
aspects of usage. Consider, for instance, the error made by the second-language learner. Native
Creole speakers also make errors when they attempt to be creative with idioms and take one part
of one expression and part of another to create a new one. Here are some common examples
that we have found in the writing of some students in our classes.
Idiomatic Expressions Creative Error
in/with regard to
as regards * with regards to
on the whole
as a whole * on a whole
Application: Word Choice

1. Arrange the following two lists of words into ladders of abstraction/generalization
from most concrete/specific to most abstract/general:
academic subjects cat

slavery domesticated animal
the Emancipation Act feline species
West Indian History mammal
history kitten
2. What associations do you think manufacturers wanted to establish when they chose the
following names for their cars?
Mustang Altima Infinity

Xtrail Jaguar Firebird
3. What stereotyped connotations do the following labels evoke?

hard hat egghead
bleeding heart Banana Republic

•
ASSIGNMENT
Certain racial, national, social, religious, ideological, occupational and sexual groups have pointed
to the fact that terms used to refer to them are “contemptuous, unjust or inadequate.” In some
cases, they have been able to bring about revisions in usage. Find examples of unfavourable/
inadequate terms from each of the categories listed above and say which groups have been
responsible for bringing about revisions in usage.
39
Writing inFigurative
English Writing inLanguage
English Writing in EnglishWriting in English WritingWriting in English Writ-
In previous sections we have discussed the necessity for using language that is clear, and diction
that is specific and appropriate. There are obvious merits for doing so, but we cannot ignore the
fact that when we use language to describe, to create images for the reader, we need language that
has colour, that will evoke the experience or recreate the object so that the reader can visualise
it as a result of our having recreated it. This recreation calls for the use of figurative language
or figures of speech and words with sensory appeal. When we use figurative language we are
making comparisons, likening one thing to another either overtly or explicitly as with simile or
by saying that one thing is another thereby implying a comparison as in metaphor. Unlike logical
comparisons, which make comparisons between objects and ideas from similar classes, figurative
language makes comparisons between items, objects or ideas that are dissimilar.
Figurative language and words with sensory appeal have an exactness of their own that make
them effective in description. Consider the expression: The heart is like a pump. This is an
example of figurative language – a simile – because we are comparing two things that belong to
different classes and stating explicitly that one is like the other. In this kind of comparison we are
transferring an attribute of a familiar object to another to which it cannot apply in a literal sense,
and in doing so, we invite the reader to imagine the likeness (or difference) between the things
that are being compared. The most common figures of speech are analogy, simile, metaphor,
personification and allusions.
Analogy
One may say that analogy is the most fundamental figure of speech because it is a comparison
and all the other figures of speech mentioned here involve comparison of some kind. If you
refer to the essay by Sir James Jeans (see Section 3, Chapter 11) and the discussion on it, you
will recall that we said an analogy had been used for the purpose of making an unfamiliar
phenomenon understood by using a familiar concept to explain it. In that essay, Sir James Jeans
used an extended analogy in which he systematically set out the points of comparison between the
two concepts. The following is also an example of an analogy.
Sound is a disturbance which one molecule passes on to another when it
collides with it, rather like a set of box cars when the engineer suddenly
applies the brakes and each car passes on the jolt to the next.
(Source - Sir James Jeans, Exploring the Atom.)

The concrete image of the box-cars makes the unobservable phenomenon of what happens
when we hear sounds much more accessible to us through the comparison to a more familiar
visual image. Analogies are frequently used in the Bible, particularly in the parables of Christ.
The parables of the sower and the prodigal son are good examples of analogies.
Simile and Metaphor

Simile and metaphor are both comparisons that differ from each other in the way in which the
comparison is presented. In simile we liken one thing to another and use the words like or as.
Consider the following example.
O, my luve’s like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June;
O, my luve’s like the melodie
That’s sweetly played in tune.
Robert Burns, Scotland.
Simply to illustrate the point, we will do the unthinkable and tamper with Mr Burns’s verse. Let
us suppose that instead of a simile – luve’s like a red, red rose/luve’s like the melodie – Burns had used
a metaphor; the verse would read as follow:
O, My luve’s a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June;
O, my luve’s the melodie
That’s sweetly played in tune.
In the first example love is explicitly being compared to two things, the red rose and the melody. In
our amended example the comparison suggests that the things are the same – love is a rose; love is a
melody. In the literature metaphor has been presented as having two parts, for example, tenor and
vehicle (I.A. Richards (1936), The Philosophy of Rhetoric, OUP). In the example from Burns’ poem
which we have modified to present as a metaphor, the word luve would be the tenor and red rose
the vehicle. The tenor in this case is the subject to which the attributes of the vehicle (the red
rose) are assigned. Other referents used for vehicle and tenor are the ‘figure’ and the ‘ground’
respectively (Wikipedia – Metaphor. Accessed on 26 March 2012). You may want to discuss as
a brief class exercise why Burns selected simile rather than metaphor in this case. What effect
does the use of simile have that is not conveyed quite as delicately by the use of the metaphor?
Good metaphors can be graphic and startling. Shakespeare’s work abounds in figurative language,
similes and metaphors in particular. Consider the lines from King Lear, in which his extreme
disenchantment with his daughter Goneril is expressed in terms of disease.
Figurative Language 531
But yet thou art my flesh, my blood, my daughter;

Or rather a disease that’s in my flesh,
Which I must needs call mine: thou art a boil,
A plague-sore, an embossed carbuncle,
In my corrupted blood.
(Source - The Globe Illustrated Shakespeare, Act II Sc.iv.
In the following example, Selzer uses metaphor to convey the grossness of an ulcer on the foot
of a diabetic.
She could not see the great shaggy black ulcer upon her foot and ankle that
threatened to encroach upon the rest of her body, for she was blind as well.
There upon her foot was a Mississippi Delta brimming with corruption, sending
its raw tributaries down between her toes. Gone were all the little web
spaces that when fresh and whole are such a delight to loving men.
(Source - Richard Selzer, “Why a Surgeon Would Write,” in Mortal Lessons.)
The images associated with a delta (tributaries and all) are transferred by analogy to the ulcer
on the woman’s foot to create a powerful image of corrupt flesh. Metaphor, then, gets its effect
from the transference of meaning from one thing to another thing that is dissimilar.
We often hear students say that figurative language is literary as though to suggest that scientists
or non-literary folks never use simile or metaphor. The truth is that we often use metaphors in our
everyday speech without realising that we are doing so. Some of the most colourful expressions
in language that are used for imprecatory purposes (to curse someone) are metaphorical. When
Harbans, in V. S. Naipaul’s The Suffrage of Elvira turns and curses the small town with the words
“You is a bitch, Elvira,” he, like all who swear in that fashion, uses metaphor. When a parent
makes the comment “This room is like a pigsty/This room is a pigsty,” this is an example of
simile and metaphor and conveys the image of dirt and untidiness more starkly than ordinary
language might in the same context. Some metaphors have been used so often that they have
become clichés or are hackneyed. Others have become part of regular usage, and we refer to
them as dead metaphors because they have lost their freshness and their power to startle. The
following are examples of some of these follow:
the face of a cliff the head of the company
the hands of the watch the eye of a needle
the brow of a hill
Some metaphors are ineffective because the things compared are incompatible or somehow
“contradictory” – too odd because of the collocations of the words to make sense to us.
Consider the following example which comes from the writing of a first-year student.
As a result the moral fabric of society becomes eroded.
We usually speak of fabric as being torn, worn, or frayed, but not as being eroded. Another
expression commonly used is “His meteoric rise to success.” Meteors usually have a falling
not rising trajectory so its use in that expression is odd. That expression focuses solely on the
speed with which success was attained and ignores the direction associated with meteors. Usage
like this is often the result of carelessness, of not paying sufficient attention to what is being
said or written, of not giving sufficient thought to the meanings of words and their use in a
particular context. Good writers do not use figures of speech simply for effect, but because they
contribute to the overall meaning and texture of a work.
Application: Figurative Language

Read the following extracts and comment on the use of figurative language in them. Consider
whether the figures of speech that are used contribute to meaning or whether they are superficial
or cosmetic in the contexts in which they occur.
I. It had started swelling in the bowels of the thick grey clouds, straining
in its wild convulsions to tear the heavens loose.
The rain had come to the mountains of Trinidad, to the parched peaks that
dug their searching fingers deep into the clouds, probing for the damp,
drenching flow of life when August came. The wind was high in the sky yet
the trees in Woodford Square stood motionless on the face of a strange
and darkened earth that seemed to have lost its orbit.
(Source - Ismith Khan, The Jumbie Bird, Trinidad: Longman Caribbean, Longman Group, 1974.)
II.
It was December – a bright frozen day in the early morning. Far out in
the country there was an old Negro woman with her head tied in a red
rag, coming along a path through the pinewoods. Her name was Phoenix
Jackson. She was very old and small and she walked slowly in the dark pine
shadows, moving a little from side to side in her steps, with the balanced
heaviness and lightness of a pendulum in a grandfather clock. She carried
a thin small cane made from an umbrella, and with this she kept tapping
the frozen earth in front of her. This made a grave and persistent noise
in the still air that seemed meditative like the chirping of a solitary
little bird.
She wore a dark striped dress reaching down to her shoe tops, and an
equally long apron of bleached sugar sacks, with a full pocket: all neat
and tidy, but every time she took a step she might have fallen over her
shoelaces, which dragged from her unlaced shoes. She looked straight
ahead. Her eyes were blue with age. Her skin had a pattern all its own
of numberless branching wrinkles and as though a whole little tree stood

in the middle of her forehead, but a golden color ran underneath, and
the two knobs of her cheeks were illumined by a yellow burning under the
dark. Under the red rag her hair came down on her neck in the frailest of
ringlets, still black, and with an odor like copper.
(Source - Eudora Welty, “A Worn Path,” in A Curtain of Green and Other Stories, Harcourt, Brace
Jovanovich, 1969.)
III.Literature, then, is not a dream-world: it’s two dreams, a wish-fulfillment

dream and an anxiety dream, that are focused together, like a pair of
glasses, and become a fully conscious vision. Art, according to Plato, is
a dream for awakened minds, a work of imagination withdrawn from ordinary
life, dominated by the same forces that dominate the dream, and yet
giving us a perspective and dimension on reality that we don’t get from
any other approach to reality. So the poet and the dreamer are distinct,
as Keats says. Ordinary life forms a community, and literature is among
other things an art of communication, so it forms a community too. In
ordinary life we fall into a private and separate subconsciousness every
night, where we reshape the world according to a private and separate
imagination. Underneath literature there’s another kind of subconscious
which is social and not private, a need for forming a community around
certain symbols, like the Queen and the flag, or around certain gods that
represent order and stability, or becoming and change, or death and
rebirth to a new life. This is the myth-making power of the human mind,
which throws up and dissolves one civilization after another.
(Source - Northrop Frye, “The Keys to Dreamland,” in The Educated Imagination,
Indiana University Press, 1969.)
•
Allusions
An allusion is a passing reference to a person, event, story, or place, or written work which is
used in a particular context to enhance a subject being discussed. In literature, allusions are often
used ironically to show the discrepancy between the subject being discussed and the allusion
or reference. Allusions usually come from literary, biblical and historical works with which the
audience is expected to be familiar. Some writers use allusions that are based on special topics
and they assume a well-read audience. Most allusions will be missed if the audience is unfamiliar
with the history, literature and other subjects to which the writer alludes. The following are more
common allusions.
cry wolf - the reference is to a fable written for children

a good Samaritan – the reference is to a parable in the Bible
Achilles’ heel – the reference is to a story from Greek mythology
Machiavellian tactics – the reference is to a character in history
Words with Sensory Appeal

Figures of speech are tools that the writer uses to create images that the reader can visualise
or imagine. The use of words which appeal to the senses is a means by which writers make
scenes and people come alive for the reader, and through which experience is recreated so that
it is conveyed with a sense of immediacy. The use of sensory words in a description allows
the reader to apprehend the thing described in a palpable way. The word sensory suggests the
evocation of the senses, touch, sight, smell, taste and hearing. It is, after all, mostly through our
senses that we apprehend the world. Through the use of words with sensory appeal the writer
draws readers into the experience. Compare the two descriptions that follow. In the first we have
removed all the words with sensory appeal and all figures of speech, and we have replaced them
in the second. Try to determine the effects that are created by the inclusion of the words with
sensory appeal and the use of figurative language. The sentence structure of the first version is
amended slightly to accommodate the changes we have made.
I. I stepped out on the verandah of the cottage and shut the door behind me.
The morning was crisp and clear. The beach curved ahead ending at two
rocky headlands that protruded into the bay, resisting the waves that hit
against them. There was a mist over the headlands. The sun, now beginning
to rise in the east reflected on the sea.
A stiff breeze began to blow through the leaves of the coconut trees on
the beach. I could feel the light spray of sea water on my arms and face,
and I could taste it. In the bay beyond the reef, the tops of the waves
were white as they broke over the rocks. I could hear them as they rushed
into the caves at the base of the headland. On the shore the waves broke
gently.
II.
I stepped out on the uneven verandah of the cottage and shut the door
gently behind me. The morning was as crisp and clear as a newly-blown
bubble. Ahead, the beach curved like a crescent, ending at two rocky
headlands that protruded into the bay, stubbornly resisting the powerful
surge of the waves that pounded against them. The headlands were shrouded
in a light mist. A crimson hue was slowly tinting the eastern sky and
reflecting on the sea’s face that now shimmered like thousands of yards of
billowing silk.
A stiff breeze began to blow, whipping the fronds of the coconut trees
lining the beach into tangled braids. I could feel the light spray that
soon dried in little flecks of salt on my arms and face, and I relished
the salty tang on my lips. Out in the bay, beyond the reef, the waves
were making white caps and looked like teams of horses with manes flying
as they charged across the rocks, only to subside in a wash of foam. I
could hear the roar and thud as some stormed into the caves and crevices
at the base of the headlands. Inside the reef, the sea’s surface was like
polished glass. Light waves lapped the shore, ebbing away with a hiss.
(Source - Simmons-McDonald, Hazel (n.d.) “At the Beach Early One Morning.” Retrospectives
Manuscript.)
Words with sensory appeal add flair to the language. They also have an exactness that dictates
the choices writers make in specific contexts. We must dispel the notion that when we use
words with sensory appeal or when we use figures of speech anything will do. On the contrary,
we need to select words carefully for our descriptions so that the exact nuance and shade of
meaning is conveyed. Just as the appropriate selection of words leaves the reader with a sense
of satisfaction, the use of none at all, or the misuse of some can frustrate readers to the extent
that they will stop reading. As a student at university you will be expected to recognise figurative
language and words with sensory appeal in the narratives, plays and poetry that you read, and
you must also be able to evaluate their effectiveness in the work. In your creative writing courses
you also will be expected to use figures of speech and sensory words judiciously and effectively.
Application: Words with Sensory Appeal

1. For each of the senses (sight, smell, hearing, taste, touch) list words that have sensory
appeal. We have begun the list for you in each case; add as many more as you can.
Sight: burnished, ebony, inky …
Smell: musty, rancid …
Hearing: hiss, roar, rustle, thud …
Taste: bitter, salty, spicy …
Touch: cold, grainy, smooth …
2. Write short paragraphs in which you use some of the words in your list to describe
a scene, person or experience. (Reread the extract from Eudora Welty’s essay in the
previous Application and note the effects she creates with words that have sensory
appeal).
•
40
Style
Formal and Informal Styles
Style manuals for writing are in a sense like manuals of good manners; one may scoff at them
and the people who write them but one cannot completely ignore them. People usually dislike
manuals of “proper” behaviour because they seem to insist on not letting you be yourself and
not letting you do things in your own way. The fact is that in doing things in your own way,
you may inadvertently offend others and consequently not achieve your purpose. Good style
manuals therefore give you suggestions for writing that make what you write unoffensive, not
unintelligible and not simplistic. They stress that what you write must be appropriate for the
occasion and for the intended reader.
Not all style manuals are good. Not all modern style manuals are good and not all old ones are
bad. Be careful with manuals which claim to be giving “simple” and “straightforward” advice
of the type which suggests uniform solutions for all occasions. It is just as inappropriate to say
“Always write simply” as it is to say “Always dress simply.” All human societies require changes
in behaviour to suit the formality of the occasion, and changes in behaviour involve changes
in language forms and structures. Bad style manuals often give you simplistic advice like the
following:
Use plain words Avoid pompous words

Use concrete words Avoid derived/abstract words
Use short words Avoid polysyllabic words
Use active constructions Avoid passives
Use short sentences Avoid involved sentences
Be direct Avoid indefinite constructions
The problem with such advice is that it oversimplifies the solution to good style. Such advice may
be appropriate sometimes, but is clearly not always so. For instance, the following will provoke
different reactions from a client who owes you money, if you are a businessman, especially
depending on how familiar you are with the person and how long the person has been a client:
Pay me what you owe me right away.

Pay your bill immediately.
It would be appreciated if you could settle your account as soon as possible.
A letter to an old familiar client has to be different from one written to a new client, if you are a
small businessman operating in a competitive area of business.
Style 537
Another problem with simplistic advice is that it overlooks the situation in which you have to
write lengthy essays, reports or documents in which the same items/elements recur and you have
to vary your words in order to avoid repetition and sameness. You also have to vary your sentence
structure in order to avoid monotony. In any case, from your first years in secondary school at
least, you are taught to combine simple sentences into compound and complex sentences so
that your writing moves beyond childlike simplicity. A style manual that suggests that simple,
short sentences are always better than long, complex ones is giving inaccurate advice which is a
denial of much of what you have been taught. This comment does not mean, however, that the
opposite is true, that is, that long, complex sentences are always better than short, simple ones.
In Section Two we identified and demonstrated the use of different varieties according to tone,
level of formality, context and other factors which cause variation. After reading the section
carefully and doing the exercises, you should be able to relate language form, structure and
variety to reader, tone and context. This means that you must be conscious always of choice and
appropriateness when you write. You will have seen that levels of formality vary from “frozen”
to “intimate,” that some varieties reflect speech and informality more than others, and that
every profession and discipline develops its own jargon. Attention to these factors must precede
preoccupation with less basic and personal features of style.
In addition to the general problem of choice of appropriate word, phrase and sentence, there are
more specific problems which affect the tone of what you write. The first major one is whether
you as a writer should use an “I”, “we”, “you” or “one” style, or a style in which the writer seems
to be absent. For example, the following are variations of a way to present an argument:
I would argue that … My argument is that …

Our position is that … You may say that …
One can argue that … A good argument is that …
Note that when a writer uses “you” and “one,” as in the examples above, the writer is not
necessarily putting forward someone else’s argument. In other words, “you” and “one” can be
used as an indirect way of saying “I.” (“You” and “one” are also quite normally used to mean
“the reader”)
Traditionally, students have been advised to avoid the “I” style. The “we” style often sounds
pompous and still retains links with what is called “the royal ‘we,’” (that is, a characteristic of the
speech of the British monarch). The one style tends to create distance between the writer and
the reader and has a tone of formality. The “you” style may sometimes retain some degree of
familiarity and informality, but it seems more neutral than the other pronouns. Of all these styles
the one that is most neutral in tone is the one that does not directly refer to the writer or reader.
The best advice to follow here in the choice between these styles is make sure that the one that
you choose creates the right tone for the context and reader. If you are in doubt, remember that
in the Caribbean neutrality is less problematic in various contexts than the others. However,
whichever you choose for a specific context, make sure that you use it consistently, unless you
want to create some special effect. In this book we use “you”, “we” and “one” variably in
specific contexts.
Another problem in writing in English today is the use of nouns and pronouns that discriminate
against women. The English language, as a reflection of the attitudes and practices of the societies
in which it developed, has historically used the masculine (noun and pronoun) as the generic
word (for example, man = human beings and him = him and her). It also uses the masculine
pronoun to replace common words like doctor, teacher, when such words are used in a generic
sense. The most common solution proposed today to try to get around the pronoun problem
is to rephrase what you are saying so that you avoid the need for it. You can use the plural of
the noun, in which case the pronoun (that is, “they/them”) no longer has a specified gender.
Another solution, in the case of the singular pronoun, is to use both, for example, “him/her,”
but this can become cumbersome and many editors do not like this as a solution. The use of the
feminine form alone is usually interpreted as provocative and is seen as reverse discrimination.
The problem of gender bias in word choice is more acute in some English-speaking societies
than others and you should also be conscious of the intensity of the reaction of readers at
different levels of society. It is not in all cases that choice of a masculine noun or pronoun is
going to be harmless. Where women are the decision makers and you show no sensitivity by
constantly assuming that all heads and departmental heads of companies and institutions are
men and you refer to them as “Sir” and “him,” your business with the company or institution
may not be as successful as you expect.
Another problem, a Caribbean one, is the extent to which you should reflect yourself in your
writing. There are words and expressions in every territory which give character to artistic writing
and in scientific and business writing, when highlighted by inverted commas, for example, bring
clarity to an otherwise vague interpretation. West Indian literature, as a body of literature, has
become a significant part of literature written in English and world literature. It is in this literature
that West Indian writers have made their mark on the world stage by reflecting the language and
culture of their people. While not all contexts are appropriate for the use of local cultural items,
phrases and idioms, there is no really good reason for you to suppress your natural modes of
expression in search of a purified English. Englishmen, Australians, Indians and West Indians
all play cricket, but their styles are different. The same formative and cultural factors that cause
these differences also cause differences in linguistic expression. Playing well does not mean
adopting someone else’s style. The same is true for writing.
Style 539
Application: Style
Read the following and eliminate instances of sexist language; rewrite the sentences to make
them more neutral. Comment on the ideas that contribute to their being sexist.
1. Man must always be conscious of the dangers that threaten from worlds unknown to
him. Space is a frontier yet to be understood, yet to be conquered by man.
2. The students from Jamaica performed exceptionally well in the last semester. Harold
Johnson and Claire White both won top awards at the prize-giving ceremony. Johnson’s
was for excellence in cricket and athletics, and White’s, was, not surprisingly, for excellent
organisation of the student summer camp.
3. When Mrs Otley got her degree in law she immediately got a job in a respectable law
firm but had to work late hours. The tedious job of doing after-school pick-up fell to Mr
Otley.
4. It depends on who does the swearing, really; when a man does it, one says he’s one of
the boys, but when a woman does it, she is rude and vulgar.
•
41
Vocabulary
Overused Words and Clichés
Let us suppose that you have written an essay in which you used what you thought was colourful
language only to have it returned with the comment cliché and trite written in several places next
to expressions like: we woke bright and early, hers was a heavy burden; his better half. These have been
used so often that they are no longer fresh and do not evoke any vivid images in the mind of
the reader. Furthermore, when writers use expressions like these, it reveals a laziness of mind
that suggests that the writer could not be bothered to think of a specific word or expression for
the context. Overused words and clichés block one’s thoughts; they are ready-made expressions
that seem to fit neatly into a sentence, but in reality they make reading tedious and they lack the
exactness that writers should strive for.
Clichés consist of words and expressions, including some figures of speech, that have become
overused to the extent that they sound trite. The term hackneyed is also used to refer to words
and expressions of this kind. The temptation to slip clichés and trite expressions into writing
results from the fact that they exist as ready-made chunks that seem to say much. However, the
reason that they have become worn in the first place is that they are widely used and cease to
hold any special meaning or provide colour in the contexts in which they tend to be used. It is
better to find a specific word that may not be colourful but will be more meaningful and exact
in the context than a trite expression or cliché.
Expressions such as busy as a bee, last but not least and adjective + noun combinations like fatal flaw
and crushing blow were vivid and fresh when they were first used. Over the years frequent usage
has caused them to become worn, and readers are no longer responsive to them, that is, they
no longer stimulate the imagination. One of the objectives in writing is to evoke a favourable
response in readers. Since overused vocabulary creates the opposite effect, it seems logical to
suggest to you that you should remove such overused expressions from your writing. However,
this presupposes that you are familiar with those words and expressions that are clichés or
trite. If you are not, you will not be able to revise and edit for the purpose of eliminating these
expressions from your writing. It also means that you must be able to recognise the difference
between those expressions that are routine in social discourse, such as How are you today?, and
Please pass the salt, and those that are overused. These expressions make no claim to be colourful
and are established as expressions that govern certain aspects of social intercourse. On the other
hand, clichés and overused words are worn because they were once colourful and contributed
to the vividness of language but they have ceased to do so. At the risk of sounding trite, we will
suggest that one way of avoiding the use of clichés, trite expressions, and overused expressions
is to be specific in your choice of diction.
Vocabulary 541
The following is a checklist that you can use to help you revise for diction.
• Do I use unnecessary jargon that obscures meaning?

• Is my phrasing clear and does the language present the ideas clearly?
• Are there any examples of clichés, overused words or other trite expressions?
• Do I use exact and vivid nouns and verbs?
• Did I use any slang expressions?
• Is the language that I have used sexist?
Check your writing carefully for each of the characteristics mentioned and revise the text to
eliminate the negative features, that is, all but the second and fourth points.
ASSIGNMENT
Read the following essay written by a first-year student and evaluate it (using checklists provided
in earlier sections). Comment especially on the elements of style and diction, including the use
of sexist language, if any, and the choice of words and their appropriateness to context and for
evoking images in the reader’s mind; look for any examples of clichés, overused words and trite
expressions. Write a commentary in which you incorporate your comments as feedback for the
writer.
We humans have a unique way of dealing with problems. Unlike animals, which
usually react to a problem instinctively, we have the ability to choose one
of a number of options. If life gives us some sort of dilemma, we may decide
that the best method to solve it may be to ignore it, or focus on it. Or, we
may call on instinct.
University life can often deal harsh blows. Many react by going straight
to the library, or by writing for advice. Others relieve their burden by
consuming alcohol. But I, along with a small group of similar-minded people,
choose an alternative.
Tonight is Friday night, and every Friday is similar in nature. The chosen
event starts in mid-afternoon and runs through until after nightfall. The
activity is almost compulsive; one can become easily addicted. A lot of
control is wielded not by that big guy over there, or that female in the
tights, but by fifty-two 3” by 2” pieces of card with pictures upon them.
I arrive a little after three o’clock at the cafeteria where my group is

entrenched. The cafeteria is only one quarter full, the majority in a small
area surrounding a small table. The sun shines brightly through the windows,
highlighting the alertness of the people involved; for this select few, the
only mild distraction is the faint aroma coming from the kitchen. The four
at the table seem as if they have been hypnotised: silent but very conscious.
The guy wearing the cap places a seven on the table, his face crinkling up
enough to indicate that he is in jeopardy. The player on his left, a dark
female, looks cautiously at the first guy, trying not to purse her lips, then
carefully glances at her other opponents, slightly squinting as if trying
to see through their cards. Suddenly, a smile emerges as a five is played. A
loud whelp emerges from the other onlookers as the guy that the female was
glancing at lays the queen of spades – the Bird – on the table with quiet
authority, a smug grin. The girl starts congratulating herself; after a
slight sulk, the guy with the cap also congratulates her play, for in this
game, good moves are respected by all. The silence is over, as everybody
starts to talk, the noise similar in loudness to bees swarming over a fallen
snow-cone. Here, accounting class is not welcome as part of the discussion.
Physics has no ticket either, but the game of hearts is welcome.
Soon, more people arrive. The enthusiasm of those unfortunate enough not to
partake in the game is seen in their anxiety to play. I get another deck
and then two games are in progress, no one table superior to the other. The
object in this game is not necessarily to win, but to not lose and not hold
all the “counts.” Every now and then, someone brings up the matter of an
important meeting, or the big test tomorrow. But nobody leaves the game to
check the meeting or to do some revision. The game is foremost in importance.
Time passes. The cafeteria is almost empty, except for us. The shadows
lengthen as the sun sets and noise emerges from outside where people are
gathering for the Happy Hour. It is getting a little musty and sweaty, the
air is thickening, and our expressions show that many of us are tiring. But
nobody dares leave. At least, not until they witness an opponent hold all
the counts, since besides the humiliation of leaving, their deed becomes
engraved in “the Book” – actually a small notepad containing the names of
people who were unfortunate enough to have “shot the moon.” I now sit to the
left of the girl who had such good fortune before. Her luck has shifted to
bad. The guy with the cap is to my left, his luck having improved. As the
guy opposite me deals, small talk passes across the table. We joke about the
latest guy to have his name recorded for eternity. The guy shrugs it off. His
eyes say one thing – revenge. And due to the laws of probability, eventually
he will obtain his revenge.
I politely ask the girl how her hand is. She says some obscene words. I
laugh – she has had bad luck, but one can tell she means no ill-will. The
game commences with the play of a diamond. This game is relaxed - at least to
the guys. The girl gets more and more frustrated as it becomes more and more
evident that yes, she’s shot the moon! Between the three guys, an unspoken
message is transferred. There is male bonding occurring as our victim is made
humble by her poor hand. When the last round is played out, I shout “Book!”
and all turn around to face this table, huge grins upon their faces, anxious
Vocabulary 543
to learn about this addition to the Book. The girl is still angry, but by her
determination to get vengeance, we can see that all’s fair in love and cards.
The cafeteria is about to close, and the matches seem to have concluded.
There is no sole victor nor sore loser. All of us are united by the games.
What a far cry from alcohol consumption, where when the drinking is over,
the consumers are left alone and often in a worse state of mind, a definite
contrast to solitary confinement in a cubicle force-feeding yourself Political
Science.
The Friday night hearts games provide a feeling of euphoria that seems to
last through the weekend, and inspiration to succeed the next time. Yes,
I can suggest an alternative way to welcome the weekend after a grueling
week of non-stop work. It lies in a set of fifty-two rectangular cards with
pictures upon them.
(Source - G. David, A Better Alternative)

Section 10
Grammar Review
Chapter 42: Subject/Verb Agreement
• Some Causes of Error in the Writing of Standard English
• Rule
• Problematic Subjects
Chapter 43: Pronouns

• Reference
• Agreement
• Case
Chapter 44: Nouns

• Plurals
• Possession
• Quantity Words with Nouns
Chapter 45: Past Participles

• Indicating Perfect Aspect
• Indicating Passive Voice
• Functioning as Adjectives
Chapter 46: Passive Constructions

• When to Use
Chapter 47: Tense

• Sequence of Tenses
• Use of Will/Would
• Conditionals
- Section 10
545
g
t- Chapter 48: Sentence Structure
• Sentence Structure Problems
-
• Multi-clause Sentences
• Fragments
• Fused Sentences
• Comma Splices
• Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
• Faulty Parallel Structure
Chapter 49: Miscellaneous Confusables

• Its/It’s
• Effect/Affect
• There/Their/They
• Than/Then
• Lead/Led
Chapter 50: Mechanics

• Capitalisation
• Punctuation
• Spelling rules

This section is included as a reference guide that you can use when you edit your work. We
review the grammar rules of those structures of Standard English that are problematic for
some Caribbean students. It is not an exhaustive review of the grammar of Standard English
but the areas we cover are those grammatical constructions which students seem to have the
most difficulty mastering such as subject/ verb agreement, tense and aspect and mechanics. In
the first section we present a brief overview of some of the reasons that have been presented in
the literature for the occurrence of error in students’ written work. We also include checklists for
each area of grammar that we discuss; these are intended to raise your consciousness about the
grammar of written Standard English and we hope that through constant use of the checklists
when you edit your work, you will learn the rules and internalise them so that you can produce
them automatically when you write.
42
Subject/Verb
Writing in English Writ- ing in Agreement
A Why do we have to
According to my English professor, as
learn all this grammar
anyway?
college graduates, if we make mistakes B
in writing or oral presentations in our
professional lives, it will affect our
credibility and competitiveness, no
matter what our field of expertise is.
C I guess that
makes sense.
Some Reasons for Errors in the Writing of Standard

English
Several factors contribute to grammatical errors in written English. Over the years, we have
collected many samples of errors from student essays and the same types of errors recur over
time. We will use examples of these common errors for illustrative purposes in this section.
One of the reasons most often cited as a cause of error is linguistic interference. This explanation is based on
the premise that the majority of people in the Caribbean speak more than one variety of English
(say, two dialects – Bajan and standard English) or a Creole and English (for example, French
Creole and English or Jamaican Creole and English) and that the Creole sometimes intrudes
when one is attempting to use Standard English, and this causes error. The discussion on this
goes something like the following.
For many people the non-standard dialect or the Creole is the dominant
language, that is, the one which they use most often in private and public
situations. The language that is dominant sometimes intrudes when the other
less dominant language is being used and this causes some errors. Those who
are conscious of the differences in the grammar of the two varieties can self-
correct, that is, edit their writing to eliminate the errors. However, the
unfortunate thing is that many are not conscious of some of the structural
differences between the grammar of standard written English and the grammar
of the Creole or dialect. Therefore, they do not always recognise the errors
Subject/Verb Agreement 547
when they occur. This means that students need to raise their consciousness
about the rules of grammar of Standard English and must edit their work
specifically to check for the occurrence of errors.
While it is true that some errors result from the interference of one grammar system in the
use of another, this is not the only cause of error in the writing of students. In several of
the samples we have examined, some of the errors seem to result from students’ inability to
differentiate between the norms and requirements of spoken and written English. In other
words, many students write as they speak and import into their writing several expressions that are suitable for
informal or casual discourse but not appropriate in formal written English. This suggests that students not
only need to be aware of the differences between the spoken and written registers, but they also
need to know what is appropriate for one and not the other.
Another reason for the occurrence of error is carelessness. Often, students are not mindful of what they
write, not careful to work through the logic of a thought or an idea, and they create discrepancies
between the expression of a proposition in one part of a sentence and the conclusion or
predication of the sentence. Consider the following as an example.
These distractions from studies sometimes assist the female with gaining a
more varied intellect, but the academic merit of football only goes so far.
The reader of this sentence must search for the relationship between the proposition expressed
in the first clause and the idea in the second that seeks to conclude it. The proposition in the
first posits that distraction from studies assists the female by helping her to develop her intellect.
The way in which the proposition is expressed leads to different expectations (i) that there may
be a difference with males or (ii) that the female may sometimes suffer negative effects (that is,
not gain intellectually) or (iii) since the distractions assist only sometimes, we expect something
to be told about other times. However, the focus of the second part of the sentence shifts and
we are asked to consider the limited academic merit of football. In processing the meaning of
the sentence, we can make several inferences, one of them being that football is one of the
distractions. Starting with that, we can then go on to deduce from what is said that football is of
questionable academic merit. However, what the writer does not make clear is the connection
between females and football. Do they watch or play football as a distraction? Or is the implied
comparison with males to be taken further (that is, women benefit from distractions sometimes,
but sometimes do not, and those, including men, who have something (unspecified) to do with
football cannot gain much intellectually from it? The point is that the reader cannot be sure
about the writer’s intended meaning because it is not clear in the context. The writer has not
been careful in thinking through the underlying propositions of the utterance, so the semantics
are fuzzy.
Another reason for the occurrence of errors in the writing of students is that most do not revise or edit their
writing. Let us suppose that a student knows the difference between the grammar rules of two
varieties and makes an error in writing Standard English; if the student revises and edits the
writing, he or she is more likely to detect the error and correct it. The error will remain for the
teacher to find if it is not revised and edited.
Practice in writing formal Standard English with consistent revision and editing can help you to
raise your consciousness about the grammar of the standard variety that you need to master for
academic purposes. In addition to this, you need to select your words more carefully so that they
convey the meanings that you want them to convey.
Subject/Verb Agreement
The Rule
In Standard English, the verb must agree with the subject in number when the verb is in the
present tense and the subject is a 3rd person subject. This means that under these circumstances,
if the subject of the sentence is singular, the verb must also be singular, and if the subject is
plural, the verb must be plural. Consider the following examples. Note that the singular verb
ends with -s and the plural verb does not end with -s. You should note that -s on a verb means
the opposite of what -s on a noun means. An -s on a noun means plural, but an -s on a verb
means singular.
a) The boy in Class 1 likes bread. - Singular
b) The boys in Class 1 like bread. - Plural

In Creole varieties, agreement is not marked by inflexion in the verb as it is in Standard English.
Note the -s on the verb like for the singular subject in (a) boy + likes and the absence of the -s
on the verb which has a plural subject in (b) boys + like. In Creole (a) and (b) would be rendered
as follows:
c) Da boy like bread - Singular
d) De bwoy like bread - ”
e) Dem boys like bread - Plural
f) De bwoy dem like bread - ”

The absence of subject/verb agreement in the writing of most people occurs mainly in the
present tense. Most verbs other than the verb to be do not change to show agreement in tenses
other than the present. For instance, compare the past tense forms of (g), (h).
g) The boy liked bread - Singular (past)
h) The boys liked bread - Plural (past)

In both cases the form of the verb liked remains unchanged. Consider the following examples
with the verbs be, which is the only verb in English that requires the subject/verb agreement rule
to be applied in the past tense.
The flower on the table is dry - Singular (present)
j) The flower on the table was dry - Singular (past)
k) The flowers on the table are dry - Plural (present)
l) The flowers on the table were dry - Plural (past)

Note that the verb also agrees with the subject in the present perfect tense because it has a
present aspect to it. The present perfect tense uses the auxiliary verb have (in its singular or plural
forms has or have) followed by the past participle of the main verb.
m) The boy has eaten the bread.
n) The boys have eaten the bread.

Compare the use of have in Creoles, which remains invariable in present and past as in the
following examples.
o) De boy have it.
p) De bwoy dem have it.

The rule for number is that we add an -s or -es to the third-person singular verb to make it agree
with a singular subject. Consider:
q) The girl eats cassava bread for breakfast. - Singular
r) The dog buries the bones. - Singular

Compare the plural forms:
s) The girls eat cassava bread for breakfast. - Plural
t) The dogs bury the bones. - Plural

Note that the Standard English verb does not change when the subject is a 1st or 2nd person
subject. Compare the singular and plural forms of the following:
u) I walk to school every day. - 1st person singular
v) We walk to school every day. - 1st person plural
w) You need new shoes. - 2nd person singular and plural
Problematic Subjects
In this section we review some subjects that can be problematic; these include the following.
1. Coordinated Subjects with “and”

When there are two or more subjects in a sentence and they are joined by and, the subject
is usually plural and the verb must therefore be in the plural form to agree with the subject.
Consider the following examples.
a) The man and woman are walking quickly.
b) Frank and Alice run every morning.
Compare the above with the following sentence, which has two clauses, each with its own singular
subject and verb. Therefore, the singular verb agrees with the singular subject in each clause.
c) Frank runs every morning and Alice runs every morning.
When a compound subject has the same referent, that is, when it refers to the same entity (a
person or thing) then the verb will be singular. For example:
d) The leader of the party and Prime Minister promises no tax increase.
In this case the leader of the party and the prime minister are assumed to be one and the same
person. Compare the sentence above with the following sentence:
e) The leader of the opposition and the Prime Minister promise to discuss it.
Note the absence of the -s on the verb makes it plural so it agrees with the plural subject, that
is, two different people are assumed to be referents: the leader of the opposition and the prime
minister. Also note that both nouns here have separate articles. Consider another example in
which the subject is compound but the reference is to the same entity which requires a singular
verb for agreement.
f) The heart and soul of creation is man.

Compare the varied structure:
g) Man is the heart and soul of creation.
Another instance of a type of subject that looks compound but is in actuality one entity, not two,
occurs in the case of some food items:
h) Rum and coke is my favourite drink.
i) Macaroni and cheese is an easy dish to make.
2. Other Coordinated Subjects

Other coordinated subjects can be joined by or, nor, neither…nor, either…or, not only…but also.
When two singular subjects are joined by any of the above coordinators, a singular verb must
be used.
a) Lara or Hooper is responsible for this.

Compare
b) Lara and Hooper are responsible for this.
c) Either Lara or Hooper was given the award.
d) Neither Lara nor Hooper bats with a helmet on.
When one of the subjects is singular and one is plural, the verb will agree in number with the
subject that is nearer to it; for example,
e) Neither the bat nor the balls were found.
f) Neither the balls nor the bat was found.
In a compound subject which uses or, nor, neither…or, either…or, not only…but also, a simple rule of
thumb is to let the verb agree with the noun that immediately precedes it.
3. Words Intervening between the Subject and the Verb

When the subject and the verb are separated by a phrase or string of words, be careful to choose
the correct noun or pronoun as subject. Be especially careful of intervening prepositional
phrases because they usually include a noun or pronoun object of the preposition which can
easily be confused with the real subject.
a) The jar with the plums is on the shelf.
b) All of the king’s horses are loose.
c) One of the king’s horses is loose.
4. Verbs before Subjects

In most statements in English, the subject comes before the verb. However, when the order of
the subject and the verb is inverted (verb + subject) in a sentence, the agreement rule must still
apply and you should check to ensure that it does. Consider the following examples.
a) Damaged in the floods at Weston were the houses built on low ground.
In the subject before verb order, this reads – The houses built... were damaged in the floods.
b) Among the significant computer innovations of the last fifty years is the Internet,
which has revolutionised communication.
c) Foremost among inventions of the twentieth century is the computer.
The rules that have been outlined above will also apply in the case of constructions which begin
with here or there followed by the verb, then the subject. They should be checked carefully for
subject and verb agreement. The following examples illustrate.
d) Here lies the body of King Kong, infamous Hollywood star.
e) Here lie the bodies of Tarzan and Cheetah, inseparable in death as in life.
f) There is a citation somewhere in the paper.
g) There are citations on every page.
h) There were honour and glory in it for everyone willing to fight.
Formal questions in English also require us to invert the subject and the verb. You should also
carefully check the agreement of subject and verb here. Note that the verb often has two parts in
questions and when this happens, the subject comes between the two parts as in the (i) example
below. In the other two examples involving the verb “to be” as main verb, the subject and verb
merely change places.
i) Has Jamal eaten all his ackee and salt fish?
j) Is Shireen as beautiful as her sister?
k) Are both Brent and Sara doctors ?
Note: Verb endings that are not clearly pronounced in speech must be properly inflected to
agree with the subject. These will include verbs like ask. For example,
l) Dave asks Lorna for a ride to the airport.
NOT (m) Dave ask Lorna for a ride to the airport. X

NOT (n) Dave ask’s Lorna ....X
5. Plural Subjects where the Plural Ending -s is Not Pronounced in Fast Speech
This occurs in words such as “tourists,” “scientists,” and “bicyclists” when we speak. Because
the plural -s is not clearly enunciated in speech, we often omit it when we write. You need to be
careful when writing the plural of this type of word. (See Chapter 44 on plurals).
(a) Tourists prefer guided tours.
NOT (b) Tourist prefer guided tours. X
(c) Psychologists say that a negative outcome often results.
NOT (d) Psychologist say that a negative outcome often results. X
6. Subjects Qualified by Expressions Such as as well as, accompanied by, along

with, in addition to
Subjects do not change in number when followed by these expressions (which seem to suggest
addition) because they are parts of prepositional phrases and the subject is never in a prepositional
phrase. Consider the following examples:
a) The boy, along with his dog, treks five miles each day.
b) The child, accompanied by her mother, visits the dentist every six months.
c) Port duties, not to mention inflation, threaten the survival of small companies.
d) Inflation, in addition to high port duties, threatens the survival of small companies.
7. Relative Pronoun Subjects

The verb must also agree in number with the relative pronoun subject, which takes on the
number of its antecedent. Consider the following examples.
a) This is the man who eats five fish cutters for lunch.
b) These are the people who visit every year.
c) My mother is one of those people who insist on baking everything from scratch.
d) He is one of the boys who pick cotton.
In the case of (c) who refers to people and the verb agrees in number with people not mother or one.
In d) the antecedent of the subject who is boys (not one), to be read or understood as: The boys pick
cotton and he is one of them.
8. Collective Nouns
Some collective nouns can be either singular or plural depending on whether they are used to
refer to individuals or items in a group or to the group as a unit. When the reference is to the
group as a unit, the verb will be singular, but when the reference is to individuals or items in a
group, the verb will be plural.
a) The jury has reached a verdict. (singular)
b) The jury are arguing over the verdict. (plural)
c) The number does not matter. (singular)
d) A number of tables were needed for the event. (plural)
e) The majority are to blame for the decline. (plural)
9. Linking Verbs
Linking verbs such as is, are and seem agree with the subject, not the complement.
a) The problem is lice.
NOT (b) The problem are lice. X
Compare:
c) Lice are the problem.

10. Indefinite Pronouns Such as some, all, any, and most

Sometimes words such as some, all, any, and most take singular or plural verbs depending on
whether the referent noun is singular or plural. Consider as examples:
a) Some of the flour was contaminated; we had to dump it.
b) He has a wonderful stamp collection; some of the stamps are priceless.
11. Names of Fields of Study Ending in -s

Some nouns referring to fields of study, such as politics, statistics, and athletics, are used as singular
or plural depending on whether they are used to refer to different activities or entities (plural) or
as a single entity (field of study).
38 a) Politics is an unrewarding business. (singular field)
b) Company politics are as ruthless as government politics. (plural power plays)
c) Statistics are often used to misrepresent reality. (plural numerical data)
d) Statistics is interesting; it’s my favourite subject this term. (singular field)
12. Some Singular Nouns Ending in –s

There are other nouns ending in –s that are always singular. Examples of these are news, economics,
physics and certain words for diseases such as measles, mumps, diabetes, and so on.
a) The news is depressing. NOT The news are...
b) The economics of the island is such that the government must devalue its currency.
c) Measles is still a widespread disease.
13. Titles
Titles that contain compound subjects but are referred to as titles of a singular referent take
singular verbs; for example,
(a) Bonnie and Clyde was too violent for my taste.
Here the referent is the film Bonnie and Clyde and not the characters in the film.
14. Plural Nouns Referred to as a Word

When a plural word referred to as “a word” acts as the subject of the sentence, it takes a singular
verb.
a) “Guys” is now used in colloquial American speech to refer to both men and women.
15. Indefinite Pronoun Subjects

Indefinite pronouns such as each, every, either, neither, none, everyone and everybody take singular verbs,
for instance,
a) Each has its own habitat.

Here one understands the underlying construction to be Each one has ...
Note that if indefinite pronouns such as each or every come before a compound subject with and,
the subject is singular. Using these words conveys the meaning one at a time.
b) Under these conditions, every man, woman, and child has to be vaccinated.
Edit Guides
You can use the following list of questions to help you edit your writing for mistakes with
subject/ verb agreement.
• Does the verb agree with the subject in number?

• If the subject is singular, have I used a singular verb form? Have I added –s or -es to the
verb?
• Have I used a plural verb form in sentences with two subjects joined by and?
• Have I used a singular verb form in sentences with two singular subjects joined by or?
• In sentences with compound subjects joined by neither…nor, and the like, joining a
singular subject to a plural subject, have I made the verb agree with the part of the
compound nearer to the verb?
• Have I used a singular verb form in sentences with each or every before a compound
subject?
• If I have used a collective noun to refer to a group as a unit, have I used a singular verb
form?
• If I have used a collective noun to refer to individuals in a group or to parts of a group
have I used a plural verb form?
• Have I used a singular verb form in sentences with either, neither, one, each, none, everyone and
everybody as subject?
• In sentences in which I have used a linking verb, does the verb agree with the subject and
not the complement?
The following examples taken from the writing of students show the common errors
that occur with subject/ verb agreement.
Unedited Student Sentence Edited Sentence
(a) All of these electrical All of these electrical
appliances helps the housewife appliances help the housewife
with her daily chores. with her daily chores.
(b) The use of some of the machines The use of some of the machines
in factories give off harmful in factories gives off harmful
emissions which damages the emissions which damage the
environment by enlarging the environment by enlarging the
hole in the ozone layer. hole in the ozone layer. (Read
the following note)
(c) Right choices makes a good Right choices make a good society,
society, but wrong choices but wrong choices bring it
brings it disgrace. disgrace.
Note that (b) has an additional problem – use is the subject of the verb which should be in
the singular form, not the plural (that is, gives and not give). However, the intended meaning
is that machines in factories give off emissions. The phrase the use of is a modifying phrase
that contributes to unnecessary wordiness. We suggest further editing which deletes the phrase,
namely, Some of the machines in factories give off harmful emissions which damage the environment ...
Application: Subject/Verb Agreement

The following are sentences taken from the writing of first-year university students. Correct the
errors of subject/verb agreement in each sentence so that the agreement conforms to the rules
of standard English. Correct any other errors that you can find in the sentences and explain
what they are. Rewrite the sentences if necessary.
1. The final defining characteristic of rap music are the rhyming lyrics.
2. In order to create viewer interest, pre-game shows present celebrities who draws
everyone’s attention.
3. The decisions made by an individual affects many others, whether directly or indirectly.
4. Good societies are made where brotherly love exist, where there is sharing and a genuine
community spirit.
5. The professional actors on these television shows perform stunts that attracts the
attention of the audience and forces them to conclude that these acts are accepted.
6. In conclusion the effects of divorce on family life is there and should not be ignored or
brushed under the carpet.
7. My aunt just sits around and allow her kids to run wild because she does not believe in
beating her kids and anything they want, she give them.
8. I am horrible at math; over the last couple of weeks, my math grade have slipped from
a C to an F.
9. Abortions, the widespread use of contraceptives, and sterilization also attempts and
sometimes tends to lower birth-rate.
10. My sister listens to several rock music stations; she easily relate to what the artists is
singing about.
•
43
Writing inPronouns
Reference
We begin this section by offering two examples for your consideration.
a) When the Prime Minister delivered his speech at the OECS conference, he was
given a standing ovation.
b) Mrs. Thornhill was annoyed because she hadn’t been invited to the brunch.
In these examples, we have used pronouns, words in the second clause of each sentence that can
be said to have the same referent as the noun in the first clause. In (a), the pronoun he has the
same referent as Prime Minister and in (b), she has the same referent as Mrs. Thornhill. The nouns
are antecedents of the pronouns and we can say that there is co-reference between them and
their respective pronouns, or that they are co-referential. Consider the following example.
c) The men evacuated the building because they feared it might collapse.
In this case men is the antecedent of the pronoun they; they and men are co-referential; it refers to
the antecedent building; it and building are co-referential.
In Creole varieties, pronouns function in much the same way that they do in Standard English.
The forms vary, however. Consider the following utterances from Jamaican Creole.
(d) Mas John seh im gaan.
(e) Is wha Melda tink shii go do wid di pickney dem.
(f) Bring di sinting come mek me sii it.
In (d) im is co-referential with Mas John, in (e) shii (she) is co-referential with Melda and in (f) it is
co-referential with sinting (something) which, in the context, would be identified or known to the
speaker and addressee.
In Creoles the pronouns are used as subject and object with no change in morphological form
to indicate the difference. Standard English, on the other hand, differentiates between pronouns
used as subject and those used as object. For example, he is used as a subject pronoun and him as
an object pronoun, and she as subject (feminine) but her as object.
Students make mistakes with pronouns when they do not keep track of the relations between
the various antecedents and pronouns in a sentence and also when they use the wrong form of
the pronoun. Consider the following examples, which illustrate both types of error.
(g) Personally, I do not agree with these advertisements. The best way
to prevent contracting the virus is just to refrain from unnecessary
sexual behavior until they can find a trustworthy partner and spend the
rest of their life with them.
Read through (g) again and try to determine whether there is an antecedent to which each
pronoun refers. The first problem arises with the use of they for which there is no antecedent.
The clause The best way to prevent… is just to refrain… behaviour implies you (in the general sense)
as subject. The pronoun their, like they and them, requires a plural antecedent but none has been
specified. If we adhere to the original sentence structure used by the student, we can eliminate
the problem in the ways indicated in (h) and (i).
h) … I do not agree with these advertisements. The best way to prevent contracting the virus is to refrain
from unnecessary sexual behaviour until you can find a trustworthy partner and spend the rest of your
life with him or her.
i) … I do not agree with these advertisements. The best way that one can prevent contracting the virus is to
refrain from unnecessary sexual behaviour until one can find a trustworthy partner with whom one can
spend the rest of one’s life.
The repetition of one in (i) begins to be a bit awkward. In (h) him and her are coreferential with
partner which is a singular subject (antecedent). Careful editing for diction and other elements,
such as word order to create emphasis, can result in a more effective sentence. Consider:
j) I do not agree with these advertisements. The best safeguard against contracting the virus is to refrain
from unnecessary sexual behaviour until you find a trustworthy partner with whom you can spend the
rest of your life.
Reference Problems
1. Vague Pronoun Reference

Sometimes, we do not obey the restrictions set up for the use of pronouns. One restriction is
that we should not use pronouns in formal Standard English without first mentioning a noun
antecedent for that pronoun. In informal English, however, we often use pronouns without
using an antecedent noun.
*a) When I went to the bus stand, they said the 12:00 o’clock bus had already left.
Pronouns 561
(All sentences marked with asterisks, as in the above example, are incorrect.)
The pronoun they has no antecedent. The reader/hearer has to guess who said that the bus
had left. Leaving out the antecedent in this sentence results in vague pronoun reference. In an
academic context where clarity is of the utmost importance, vagueness should be avoided.
Often, to get rid of this type of reference problem, you need to get rid of the pronoun and
replace it with the missing antecedent noun. For example,
b) When I went to the bus stand, the waiting passengers said the 12:00 o’clock bus had
already left.
2. Ambiguous Reference
Another restriction on the use of pronouns is that there should be only one clear antecedent
for the pronoun. If there are two or more possible antecedents for the pronoun, the sentence
becomes ambiguous. For example,
*a) Omar accidentally dropped his laptop computer on the glass coffee table and broke
it.
It is not clear what broke here because there are two possible antecedents for the pronoun it,
the laptop computer or the glass coffee table. As in vague pronoun reference, one way to correct the
ambiguity is to get rid of the pronoun and replace it with the correct antecedent.
b) Omar accidentally dropped his laptop computer on the glass coffee table and broke the
coffee table.
Even though ambiguity can be exploited to advantage in creative writing, in expository writing,
it affects clarity and should be avoided.
Pronoun Agreement
We now state fully the rule that was partially presented in the previous section, namely, that the
pronoun must agree in number and gender with its antecedent. Sometimes the antecedent is
neutral as to gender. For example,
a) Each student is required to register for his or her classes by a certain date.
If, however, the antecedent is clearly male or female, then the pronoun must agree with the
antecedent in gender. The following examples illustrate gender agreement.
b) The girl stitched her blouse.

c) The man paid his taxes.
d) John didn’t know what hit him. (Where John is assumed to be a male)
e) The man held the rabbit up by its ears.
f) The women of the town mourned his passing and nothing could console them.
In (b), the object pronoun her agrees in gender (feminine) and number (singular) with the noun
(antecedent) girl. In (e), its is neuter and it is co-referential with the antecedent rabbit. In (f) women
is the antecedent to which them refers; his does not have an antecedent but the context suggests
that the referent will have been identified and known to the speaker and hearer of this utterance.
The consistent use of masculine pronouns for antecedents that are not specific as to gender is
considered to be sexist nowadays and should be avoided. Consider the following examples.
e) A doctor can do only so much to help his patient.
f) The first thing a secretary does when she goes to the office is put on the coffee pot.
Example (e) will be considered sexist in a paper in which the writer consistently uses he in
similar contexts. Taken together, (e) and (f) are sexist and reflect stereotypical attitudes about
the occupations of males and females. People sometimes use both masculine and feminine
pronouns (he/she, him/her) to get around this difficulty. However, overuse of these combined
forms makes the writing awkward. One way to avoid the difficulty altogether is to use plural
forms. Compare the following options.
*g) A student should hand in his assignments on time. (Excludes female students)
*h) A student should hand in her assignments on time. (Excludes males)
i) A student should hand in his or her assignments on time. (Includes both males and
females)
The third option is acceptable because both males and females are included. However, we have
mentioned that overuse of this can result in awkwardness. A plural form would avoid the latter
problem.
j) Students should hand in their assignments on time.

Even though antecedents that are singular must have corresponding singular pronouns and
plural antecedents must have plural pronoun forms, we may need to rephrase sentences in
which awkwardness arises because compound antecedents joined by or or nor are masculine and
Pronouns 563
feminine. In such cases we use the rule which says, “Let the pronoun agree with the antecedent
that is closer.” Consider the following examples.
g) Neither Marcia nor Mark brought his book to the rehearsal.

In this context it is awkward to use his and would also be awkward to use the his/her option.
h) Neither Mark nor Marcia brought his or her book to the rehearsal.
Rephrasing the sentence could avoid the difficulty.
i) Mark and Marcia did not bring their books to the rehearsal.
j) Mark did not bring his book to rehearsal and neither did Marcia (bring hers).
Problematic Antecedents
1. Collective Nouns
In the case of collective nouns, the choice of pronoun will depend on whether the noun is
understood as singular or plural in the context. For example:
a) The committee is meeting today to discuss its proposal for the regional exchange.
The linking verb is is singular and the pronoun its is also singular; committee is understood to refer
to the group as a whole.
b) The committee are meeting today to cast their votes for the regional exchange.
The subject committee here is considered to be plural for the subject/verb agreement and the
pronoun agreement. Both the verb are and the pronoun their are plural. Inconsistency in the
use of number creates confusion. Here, the committee is understood to consist of individual
members, each one having a separate vote.
2. Indefinite Pronouns as Antecedents

Some indefinite pronoun antecedents are clearly singular, such as each, every, either, neither, and
one. However, indefinite pronouns such as everyone, everybody, and everything sometimes cause
confusion. When we speak in informal (casual) contexts, we sometimes use everyone as a plural
pronoun, which is understood to mean several individuals as in (a).
a) *Everyone brought their books to the author to be autographed.

However, this is considered lack of pronoun agreement in formal Standard English. Everyone
and similar indefinite pronouns beginning with every have the meaning of every single one, thing
or body and are therefore singular. The correct pronoun agreement in formal English is as
follows:
b) Everyone brought his or her book to the author to be autographed.
3. Conjoined Antecedents
When there are two or more antecedents in a sentence and they are joined by and they are
considered plural and the pronoun that co-refers must also be plural. For example:
a) John and Angie sold their car.
However, as stated in Chapter 42 on subject/verb agreement, sometimes a compound subject or

antecedent does not refer to two separate things, but one. Here is a pronoun agreement example.
b) When the macaroni and cheese is done, take it out of the oven to cool.
Even though the antecedent of the pronoun is macaroni and cheese, this is one dish, so the pronoun
is the singular pronoun it.
When singular antecedents are joined by or or nor, the pronoun that refers must be singular, as
in (c).
c) Neither Marcia nor Lorna brought her book to rehearsal.
The rule that governs pronominal reference in cases where there is a singular and plural
antecedent joined by or or nor is that the pronoun will agree with the antecedent that is closer,
for example,
d) Neither his brothers nor John remembered to bring his shoes for soccer practice.
Switching the order of the antecedents will require a plural pronoun, as in (e).
e) Neither John nor his brothers remembered to bring their shoes for soccer practice.
Note: All the peculiar subjects pointed out in subject/verb agreement act in similar ways in
pronoun agreement because subjects and antecedents of pronouns use the same forms, namely,
nouns or pronouns. One example is the words economics and news, which look plural, but are
singular for both subject/verb agreement and pronoun agreement.
Pronouns 565
Edit Guides
Use the following guides to help you check for pronoun agreement accuracy.
• Is the referent for the pronoun clear from the context?

• Does the pronoun agree in number and gender with the antecedent?
• For sentences in which you use indefinite pronouns as antecedents, such as each, either,
neither, one, everyone, have you used the appropriate singular pronoun?
• Have you used a plural pronoun for antecedents conjoined by and?
• Have you used a singular pronoun for antecedents conjoined by or, neither… nor, either…
or?
• Have you overused the he/she or his/her combination?
• Have you been consistent in your use of singular or plural forms with collective nouns
used as singular or plural antecedents of pronouns?
Pronoun Case
Pronouns, unlike nouns, have different forms of the pronoun depending on whether the
pronoun is functioning as subject or object. There is also a specific set of pronouns hich are
used in a possessive context. When writing, you should make sure you are using the correct form
of the pronoun. Here are the 1st person, 2nd person, and 3rd person singular and plural subjective
and objective pronouns.. The relative pronouns also have subject and object forms: who and
whoever are subject forms and whom and whomever are object forms.
Singular Plural
1st person subject I we
1st person object me us
2nd person subject you you
2nd person object you you
3rd person subject he, she, it they
3rd person object him, her, it them

Rules
1. When a pronoun is used as subject, use the appropriate subjective case pronoun.
For example,
a) Owen and June’s house was broken into while they were overseas.
b) Justin is very happy; he got a scholarship to Princeton University.
2. When a pronoun is used as the predicative complement after the verb to be, use
a subject pronoun when writing in a clearly formal context.
a) It was she who put it there, not I.
b) It was I who called the police.
3. When a pronoun is used as the object of a verb or the object of a preposition, use
an objective case pronoun. For example,
a) Carlene’s professor gave her an A on that paper she worked so hard on.
b) My mother bought a car for me to drive to school.
4. When a pronoun is used to show possession, use the possessive case. There are
possessive pronouns for each person and number. The singular possessive pronouns
are my/mine, your/yours, his, hers, its. The plural possessive pronouns are our/ours, you/
yours, their/theirs. Note that possessive pronouns do not have apostrophes to express
possession.
a) This book is mine, not yours.
NOT b) This book is mine, not your’s.
You also need to be careful of confusion between its and it’s. Its is the possessive pronoun and
it’s is a contracted form of it is.
a) John took his car to get its semi-annual service.
NOT b) John took his car to get it’s semi-annual service.

Pronouns 567
Pronoun Case Problems
1. Compound Subjects and Objects

Students often have problems choosing the correct pronoun in compound subjects and
compound objects involving a pronoun.
a) A lot of incidents have taken place in the past which involved my friends and me.
b) John and I went to our bayhouse in Bathsheba for two weeks in August last year.
c) The day we moved into our new house, my sister brought lunch for Barry and me.
Many people believe that “and I” sounds correct and use it in any context. However, you cannot
use this test (what sounds right) with pronouns because they are context dependent. In the case
of (a) above, the compound is functioning as the object of the verb involved and so an object
pronoun is required. In (b) above, the compound is functioning as the subject, thus I is correct.
In (c) above, the compound is functioning as the object of the preposition for, so the object
pronoun me is required. A simple check you can use to determine what the right form should be
is to eliminate the part of the compound that is not a pronoun and the coordinator and rephrase
the sentence with just the pronoun. After finding out what the case of the pronoun is, replace
the other part of the compound. For example,
d) …which involved me (not I).
e) …which involved my friends and me.
Be careful of the following compound.
f) *Me and my best friend both plan to study medicine.

This compound is the subject of the verb plan, so the pronoun me is incorrect because it is the
object pronoun. Putting this through the test explained above, the sentence would be
g) I and my best friend both plan to study medicine.
However, the two parts of the compound need to be inverted since courtesy requires that you
put yourself last. Thus, the better option is as follows:
h) My best friend and I both plan to study medicine.

2. Pronouns in Prepositional Phrases

The word between is a preposition. Any pronouns following a preposition are the objects of the
preposition and need to be in the objective case. Even though between you and I “sounds” correct,
it is not, because I is the subject pronoun and should be replaced with me, the object pronoun.
a) Between you and me, John failed his calculus final.

NOT b) Between you and I, John…
3. Pronouns in Comparisons
Pay attention to pronouns used in comparisons using the comparative words than and as. These
are not prepositions, so the pronouns following them are not always going to be in the objective
case. In addition, we are allowed to omit part of the comparison, but when a pronoun is
involved, make sure you check the full comparison by calling up what has been left out.
a) My sister can do mathematics better than I (can do mathematics).

NOT b) My sister can do mathematics better than me (can do mathematics).
4. Reflexive Pronouns
The reflexive pronouns generally (myself, yourself, himself, herself and so on) are largely used in
contexts where the subject of the verb and the object of the verb are the same person.
a) My father often gave himself rewards for achieving his goals at work.
Here the subject father and the object himself have the same referent. However, myself is often
used in the place of the subject in very formal situations.
*b) My family and myself thank you for this great honour.
This is not a reflexive situation. The compound at the beginning of the sentence is the subject
of the verb thank. This sentence should be rephrased as
c) My family and I thank you for this great honour.
5. Who and Whom

In clearly formal Standard English, make sure you are using the correct form of who and whom
as well as whoever and whomever. Who and whoever are the subject ronouns and whom and whomever
are the object pronouns.
Pronouns 569
a) Who is the author of that book?
Here who is clearly the subject of the verb is.
b) My mother could not remember whom she had asked to take her to the doctor.
In the dependent clause in this sentence, she is the subject of had asked and whom is the object of
had asked.
c) My mother could not remember who had called her.
In (c) above, the pronoun who is the subject of the verb had called in the dependent clause.
Edit Guide
• Does the form of the pronouns you have used in the subject and object positions match
the functions they are performing in the sentence?
• In sentences where you have used between followed by pronouns, have you used the
object pronoun?
• Have you made sure that pronouns following the verb to be are in the subject case?
• Have you made sure that possessive pronouns do not have apostrophes?
• Have you checked all your compounds involving pronouns to make sure you have used
the correct forms?
• Have you checked all comparisons involving pronouns by calling up the part of the
comparison that might have been left out?
• Have you checked that reflexive pronouns are only used in reflexive contexts?
• Have you checked that all usage of the pronouns who and whom match their functions in
the sentence?
The following are examples of sentences from the writing of students.

1. Mothers will tell her children Mothers will tell their children
that their father is not a that their fathers are not good
good person. people.
2. When one oversteps their When one oversteps one’s

bounds then they should pay bounds then one should pay the
the consequences for their consequences of one’s actions.
actions.
3. Me and my friend disagreed My friend and I disagreed about

about the cause of the the cause of the accident.
accident.
4. To who was the wallet returned? To whom was the lost wallet
returned?
5. When an architact designs a When an architect designs

house, he must first understand a house, he or she must first
the lifestyle of his clients. understand the lifestyle of his
or her clients.
Application: Pronouns
Revise the following sentences from students’ writing to ensure that the pronouns are used
correctly..
1. The company does not allow it’s employees to wear jeans to work.
2. All students should know his or her locker numbers.
3. Neighter the electric saw nor the drill workes as they were supposed to work.
4. You are as talented an actor as me.
5. It could not have been him because he has with me at the time.
6. I found that societal expectations due to my gender differed from that of my brother.
Pronouns 571
7. For instance, studying more for my English test would probably cause me a little less
stress because I would be more prepared for it.
8. My immediate family tree consists of my father, my mother, my brother and myself.
9. A divorced parent may hate their former partner so much that they do not see how they
are adversely affecting their children who they claim to love.
10. Between you and I, John and his sister are both lawyers, but his is not as successful a
lawyer as her.
•
44
Writing in English Writ- ing in Nouns
There are three ways in which nouns usually cause problems for students: in the area of plurals
(omitting the -s on some words); in the expression of possession; and in the use of some
restricted quantity words with nouns. All three of these problems are, to a certain degree,
influenced by Creole factors.
Plurals
1. Plural –s
Creoles do not indicate plurality by the addition of an -s to the noun, but by the same form as
the singular noun (leaving the context or a quantity word such as “two” to indicate plurality), or
by use of a pluraliser such as the word “dem” coming after the noun. This Creole feature causes
some students to leave the -s off plural nouns.
Creole Standard English
Two boy Two boys
De bwoy dem The boys
In addition to the Creole influence, some problems of the plural -s on nouns are caused by
speech patterns. As with other regular nouns, the plural form of nouns ending in -ist (e.g. scientist,
tourist, psychiatrist) is made by adding an -s to the noun (i.e. scientists, tourists, psychiatrists). In speech,
however, the plural endings of these nouns are sometimes not distinctly articulated by the
speaker or not clearly heard by the listener. This lack of distinction is often transferred from
speech to writing by students. For example,
a) *They exploit the fact that many tourist prefer to travel to places like the Caribbean
rather than the United States or Europe.
In this sentence, it is clear that the writer intended to write the plural, but, as if directly following
the pronunciation of the word, has not added the -s onto the word.
Although words ending in -ist are not the only ones whose spelling is influenced by the way in
which the words are pronounced, words ending in -ist are prominent because they tend to occur
often in academic writing. As a result of the frequency of these words and the frequency of the
error, the impression is created that there is a serious problem.
Nouns 573
2. Foreign Plurals
Another problem with plural forms, which is prominent because of the frequency with which
the words are used, occurs with the words phenomenon and media. These are difficult words because
they do not fit into the normal method of indicating plural in English. They are words borrowed
from the classical languages. The fact is that phenomenon is singular and its plural is phenomena,
whereas medium is singular and media is plural. Other words in this category are datum (singular),
data (plural) and criterion (singular), criteria (plural). It is important to know the singular and plural
forms of these words. They are not words that you can avoid in the academic context, but you
may select the form that is often used inappropriately in speech without immediately recognising
that what you are writing may be incorrect.
Edit Guide
Use the following questions as guides in your editing.
• If the noun refers to more than one object or person, does it have an -s to indicate this?
• If the noun sounds the same when you say it (whether it is singular or plural), have you
put an -s on it when writing it if it is meant to be plural?
• If the noun is a foreign word which has been borrowed, does it still have its foreign
singular and plural forms or has it been anglicised? Check your dictionary.
Here are some examples from student writings of errors with plurals on nouns.

1. Since during Jesus’ time no Since during Jesus’ time no
women were priest, only men, women were priests, only men,
then women should not be then women should not be
priest. priests.
2. Psychologist say that what Psychologists say that what

happens in a person’s childhood happens in a person’s childhood
affects him in his adult life. affects him in his adult life.
3. For example, television is a For example, television is a

broadcast media which nearly broadcast medium which nearly
everyone has. everyone has.
Possession
In the case of possession, Creole speakers signal possession by merely juxtaposing the possessor
and the thing possessed. In writing Standard English, however, one needs to indicate the
possession by a marker on the possessor. One needs to add an apostrophe and an -s to regular
nouns (if they are singular), or an apostrophe after the plural -s (if they are plural). In speech,
one also indicates possession by a change in pronunciation.
(a) My sister dress blue. My sister’s dress is blue.
(b) Her two brother bike get steal. Her two brothers’ bikes were stolen.
Nouns with irregular plurals may also cause problems. Students sometimes incorrectly add an -s
to the already plural noun and put the possessive apostrophe outside the -s, for example,
*c) The mens’ hats were all brown.
d) The men’s hats were all brown.
Other words that are in this category are children, women, and people.
Edit Guides
Use the following questions as guides for editing.
• If you are signalling singular possession on regular nouns, have you indicated this by ‘s?
• If you are signalling plural possession on regular nouns, have you indicated this by s’?
• If you are indicating plural possession on nouns with irregular plural forms, have you
signalled it by ‘s?
The following are some student examples of errors in the use of the apostrophe on nouns.
Nouns 575
Unedited student sentence Edited Sentence
1. The writer tries to bring us The writer tries to bring us

closer to understanding the closer to understanding the
tragedy of the moth death. tragedy of the moth’s death.
2. The problem of reconciling the The problem of reconciling the

needs of the tourist industry needs of the tourist industry
with local residents interests with local residents’ interests
is urgent. is urgent.
3. The childrens’ attitudes thus The children’s attitudes thus

become deviant. become deviant.
Quantity Words with Nouns

Where quantity words with nouns are concerned, Standard English makes a distinction between
certain pairs of quantity words, depending on whether the noun is a count noun or a mass noun.
A count noun is one that has a discrete characteristic and so can be distinguished from other
objects of the same class and can be counted; that is, we can say “three tables,” “many apples”
and so on. A mass noun, on the other hand, is one that does not have a discrete characteristic
and so cannot be counted. We say “milk” or “much milk.” In Creoles, however, the quantity
word of the pair which is used with the mass noun in Standard English is usually used with
all types of nouns. This of course influences the use of these quantity words by Caribbean
students. The quantity words involved are much/many, few/little, fewer/less, number/amount.

a) too much people too many people

b) less book fewer books
c) the amount of cars the number of cars
Editing Guides
• If you are using any of the above-listed quantity words, is the noun a count noun or a mass
noun?
• Have you used the correct one of the pair?
• Here are some student examples of errors in the use of quantity words with nouns.
Unedited Sudent Sentence Edited Sentence
1. In the male category, there In the male category, there were

were less deaths of non- fewer deaths of non-smokers than
smokers than smokers from smokers from other causes.
other causes.
2.
Overpopulation is a Overpopulation is a phenomenon
phenomenon whereby too much whereby too many people are
people are concentrated in concentrated in a particular
a particular geographical geographical location.
location.
3. During the period 1981 to During the period 1981 to 1990

1990 the amount of visitors the number of visitors to Antigua
to Antigua increased. increased.
Application: Nouns
Using the edit questions as guides, edit the following sentences for errors in the use of nouns:
1. The first electrical computers had less capabilities than most of our hand-held calculators
of today.
2. Scientist are not sure whether criminals are born or made.
3. Most of these children grow up with very little moral values and show no respect for
other people property and the law.
4. The amount of jobs available would be increased.
5. Women are no longer interested in being the slave or servant of their husband.
6. The only criteria for joining is that you have to be 18 years old.
•
45
Writing inPast Participles
There are problems with the use of past participles both in the sense of not using them where
they should be used and using them where they are not needed. There are three different
functions of past participles in Standard English that cause problems for students: acting as part
of the complex verb phrase expressing perfect aspect, acting as part of the complex verb phrase
expressing the passive voice, and performing an adjectival function (modifying a noun) when
there is no corresponding adjective form from the same stem as a verb.
Indicating Perfect Aspect

Perfect aspect is expressed in the Standard English verb phrase by the auxiliary verb “have”
followed by the past participle of the main verb, for example, have gone, has gone, and had gone.
When the present tense of “have” is used, the verb phrase is expressing the present perfect and
when the past tense of “have” is used, the verb phrase is expressing past perfect. We use the
present perfect when we want to express a past that has some connection with the present – He
has left (just recently); She has played the violin since she was ten (action started in the past but has
continued into the present). We use the past perfect when we want to express a sequence of
two events in the past (no connection with the present) and we want to indicate which of these
two events happened first; we do this by expressing the earlier event in the past perfect – By the
time she arrived, I had finished the job. Some Caribbean students often have problems with what
form of the verb should follow “have” in these constructions because of the influence from
their native Creole. Creoles do not express perfect aspect by an inflection on the verb but by a
particle + the base form of the verb – He done gone, and do not differentiate between present
perfect and past perfect.
Creole Perfect Standard English Perfect
a) He gone; He done gone. He has gone. (present perfect)
He had gone. (past perfect)
b) He resign; He done resign. He has resigned. (present perfect)
He had resigned. (past perfect)
It should be noted that expressing perfect aspect is the only function that the auxiliary “have”
performs in the complex verb phrase in Standard English and so whenever any form of “have”
is present in this context, the verb form that follows it should be the past participle. Caribbean
students also often over-correct and put the past participle in verb phrases where the base form
of the verb is appropriate, such as after the infinitival “to,” after forms of the auxiliary “do,” and
after modals.
*c) Shirley failed to finished it on time.
d) Shirley failed to finish it on time.
*e) Did you received your examination results yet?
f) Did you receive your examination results yet?
Irregular verbs also present problems because the past tense form and the past participle form
of many irregular verbs are not the same. Students often confuse which is the past tense form
and which is the past participle form if they are not familiar with a particular irregular verb. For
example,
*g) The company was fined because the contractors had began the project before receiving
permission from the government.
The past participle of begin is begun. So the correct verb phrase should be
h) The company was fined because the contractors had begun the project before…
Edit Guides
Use the following questions as guides in your editing.
• If there is a form of “have” as part of the complex verb phrase, is it followed by a past
participle?
• If “to” comes before a verb indicating the non-finite infinitive form of the verb, is the
verb in the base form?
• If “do” forms part of the verb phrase (questions and negatives), is the main verb in the
base form?
• If the main verb follows a modal (will, can, may, shall, etc.), is it in the base form?
• What is the correct form of the past participle for this verb? Is it regular or irregular?
The following are student examples of common errors with perfect aspect.
Past Participles 579

1. Technological advancement Technological advancement has
has cause a greater caused a greater percentage of
percentage of people to people to be lacking in exercise
be lacking in exercise and and has also caused a change in
has also cause a change eating habits for the worse.
in eating habits for the
worse.
2. It is extremely important It is extremely important to

to recognised that this recognise that this episode of
episode of Christ’s life Christ’s life is essential to
is essential to Bishop Bishop Tutu’s beliefs.
Tutu’s beliefs.
3. The vehicle takes away The vehicle takes away the normal
the normal everyday everyday walks an individual would
walks an individual would have taken if he did not possess
have taken if he did not one.
possessed one.
4. When the Third World When the Third World countries

countries cannot absorbed cannot absorb these products,
these products, massive massive unemployment results.
unemployment results.
5. The advancement of travel, The advancement of travel, whether

whether by air, into by air, into space, across the
space, across the seas or seas or across land, has led to
across land, has lead to the distribution of carbon monoxide
the distribution of carbon throughout our atmosphere.
monoxide throughout our
atmosphere.
Indicating Passive Voice

Sentences can be written in either the active voice or the passive voice. In the active sentence, the
actor is the subject and performs the action. In the passive sentence, the receiver of the action
is the subject of the sentence and the actor becomes the agent or is sometimes not expressed
in the sentence. In Standard English, the passive meaning of a sentence as expressed in the verb
phrase is formally made up of the verb to be followed by the past participle. However, this is not
the only function of the verb to be in the complex verb phrase. It is also used to form part of
the progressive aspect, followed by the present participle. The problem for Caribbean students
in recognising and using the passive construction is that there is no passive construction in the
Creole and so they tend to be unsure of the form it takes in Standard English. The result is that
they may recognise that they need the verb to be in expressing passive meaning, but they do not
recognise that the form of the verb that follows should be the past participle. Here is an example
of a normal active sentence and its equivalent in the passive voice.
a) Yesterday, a thief broke into the Butterfield Bank in Bridgetown. (Active)
b) Yesterday, the Butterfield Bank in Bridgetown was broken into. (Passive)
The following are some Creole passive equivalents and their Standard English passives.
Creole passive equivalents Standard English passive
He get arrest. He was arrested.
Food cook. The food was cooked.
Furniture unloading. Furniture is being unloaded.
Edit Guides
• If the sense of the sentence suggests that the subject of the sentence is the receiver of
the action, rather than the actor, is the verb phrase in the passive construction?
• If the verb should be in the passive construction is the verb to be followed by a past
participle?
• If be is part of the complex verb phrase and the verb is followed by an agent (by + a
noun phrase) is the main verb in the form of a past participle?
Here are some student examples of errors made involving the use of participles in the passive
voice.

1. If these same people If these same people were
were given the freedom given the freedom to do what
to do what they choose, they choose, the results could
the results could probably be compared to what the
probably compare to Catholics did to people of other
what the Catholics religious denominations during
did to people of the Spanish Inquisition or what
other religious the Nazis did to the Jews under
denominations Hider’s control.
during the Spanish
Inquisition or what
the Nazis under
Hider’s control did
to the Jews.
2. Moreover, human Moreover, human language is

language is pass on passed on from one generation to
from one generation another.
to another.
3. As a result, they As a result, they tend to be

tend to be threaten threatened by outsiders in terms
by outsiders in terms of being told what type of life
of being told what style to adopt.
type of life style to
adopt.
Functioning as Adjectives
The adjectival function (modifying a noun) is often performed by non-finite past participles
in Standard English. When we need to express the same meaning as a verb adjectivally, but
there is no corresponding adjective from the same root word, we tend to resort to this strategy.
Caribbean students often do not recognise when this should be done for two reasons: words in
Creole English do not usually carry inflections that identify them as being a particular part of
speech as in Standard English, and speakers of Creole shift the function of words from one part
of speech to another quite easily.
He did try to prejudice the jury. (V) He tried to prejudice the jury. (V)
She prejudice. (Adj.) She is prejudiced. (Adj.)
She did/bin express she prejudice view. (Adj.) She expressed her prejudiced views. (Adj.)
Note that there are some verbs that also have adjectives from the same root word. An example
of a word like this is the word welcome. There is a verb welcome and there is an adjective welcome.
This means that when you are using this word as an adjective, the past participle form of the
verb should not be used. For example,
a) You are welcome to come in and browse. (Adj.)
NOT b) *You are welcomed to come in and browse.
c) The singer herself welcomed all the guests as they arrived for the concert. (Verb)
Another word in this category is the word “mature,” which is both a verb and an adjective.
Note that the state of being or linking verbs be, become, and seem take complements that are often
normal adjectives. These are often mistaken for verbs and given past participle forms. In the
following example the adjective liable is incorrectly given a past participle form.
NOT d) *Carlene is liabled to do that when she is angry.
Edit Guides
Use the following as editing guides.
• If a word which is the same stem as a verb is being used to modify a noun, and there is
no adjective from the same stem (check your dictionary), is the word in the form of a
past participle?
• If a word which is the same stem as a verb is being used to modify a noun, but there is
also an adjective from the same stem (check your dictionary), is the word not in the past
participle form but the adjectival form?
Following are some student examples of errors in the use of participles as adjectives.
1. This is a result of the This is a result of the

significantly reduce yield significantly reduced yield
of the sugar cane crop in of the sugar cane crop in
Barbados. Barbados.
2. Even though she was very Even though she was very young,
young, she showed a matured she showed a mature sense of
sense of judgement in the judgement in the circumstances.
circumstances.
3. Due to a lack of food, Due to a lack of food, children

children and adults become and adults become more prone to
more proned to illness and illness and diseases.
diseases.
Application: Participles
Using the set of questions given above, edit the following student sentences for past participle
usage:
1. People fool themselves that their lives will not be change in any major way.
2. By the time she married him, she was accustom to his obnoxious behaviour.
3. On the contrary, the men seem contented to look back on their achievements of the past
and keep their hopes alive base on the notion that social equality can never be achieve
since there are certain tasks which men and men alone can perform.
4. This product has proven to be very efficient in our fast-pace life.
5. The interior of the car is suppose to attract you if the outside does not.
6. The person who made this statement is taking a bias look at the faculty.
7. The Church has refuse to let its voice be heard.
8. My bed was nice and cold and a welcomed change from what I had to endure in the
hospital.
9. Children are suffering and the legislators seem not to be concern.
10. Some parents are teenagers and as a result give children too much freedom so they
become indiscipline.
•
46
Writing in English Writ- ing inPassive Constructions
In the previous section we discussed the problems with non-use of past participles in the passive
construction of the verb phrase. But this is not the only problem that Caribbean students
experience with the passive. Because of the lack of a passive equivalent in the Creole, some
students often avoid the use of the passive altogether on occasions when it would normally be
used in Standard English and they often use it when it is not needed. As stated in Chapter 45,
the form the passive verb takes is the verb “to be” as the auxiliary verb followed by the past
participle form of the main verb.
When to Use
One context for the use of the passive construction would be when the person who did the
action is not important or is not known. In a practical sense, when a crime is committed, the
police department does not know who did it, so reporting that a crime has been committed can
be expressed by a passive construction. For example,
a) A pedestrian was killed in a hit-and-run accident on the Spring Garden Highway

last night.
Another context for the use of the passive construction is in academic writing. Students are
often told not to use the 1st person pronoun “I” in formal writing because it is subjective, and
formal writing is supposed to be objective. One way of avoiding the 1st person “I” is to use the
passive construction. For example, instead of saying, “I conducted the experiment…,” you can
use the passive construction.
b) The experiment was conducted over a period of six months.

It should be noted that using too many passive constructions in a piece of writing can make your
writing less spontaneous and so less likely to keep the reader’s attention. Consequently, do not
overuse the passive.
Another instance for the use of the passive is in a situation where diplomacy is needed. For
instance, you may resort to the passive in a situation where you know someone has done
something wrong but you do not want to be confrontational. The following illustration presents
the confrontational version using the active voice, and the less confrontational version using the
passive voice.
Passive Constructions 585
Active Passive
You have not removed The extra charge has not
the extra charge from my been removed from my
account as promised. account as promised.
Activity: Compare the two sentences in the graphic above and explain the differences in the verb
phrases of the active and passive constructions.
As stated in Chapter 45, the passive is also the appropriate verb form for expressing the
telegraphic speech of signs. The following is an example of a hospital sign in which the lack of
a passive construction gives an unintended meaning.
a) Trollies other than patient trollies are not permitted to use these elevators.
While one of the verbs is in the passive construction, “are not permitted,” the second verb “to
use” suggests that trollies themselves can use elevators. There are several ways this sign could be
restated using the passive construction of the verb.
b) Trollies other than patient trollies are not permitted on these elevators.
c) Trollies other than patient trollies should not be transported on these elevators.
For examples of when students use the passive where it is not necessary, such as where the
actor has performed the action or where there is a verb and an adjective from the same root, see
Chapter 45.
Edit Guides
• In telegraphic communications such as signs, where only a subject and a verb is expressed
and the subject is the receiver of the action of the verb, is the verb in the passive
construction (the verb to be + the past participle)?
• If the meaning intended is that a subject/actor has performed the action of the verb, is
the verb form not in the passive but in the active?
• If there is a verb and an adjective from the same root word, and it is a verb that can be
made passive, do I intend a passive meaning or an adjectival complement meaning?
Read the examples below and compare the bolded forms in the unedited and the edited versions.
1. Road repairing. Road being repaired.
2. Lunch is serving. Lunch is being served.
3. Although in order to progress Although in order to progress we

we need technology, we could need technology, we could try to
try to find a way in which find a way in which we can advance
we can be advanced without without damaging human beings,
damaging human beings, animals and the environment.
animals and the environment.
3. Visitors are welcomed to Visitors are welcome to browse.

browse.
Application: Passive Constructions

I. Using the checklist above, edit the following sentences for use of the passive
voice:
1. Furniture unloading.
2. Schools close today.
3. This makes the advertisement easy to be remembered.
4. Even though it was raining, the match was still playing.
5. Extra curricular activities have not shown to stop heart attacks from occurring, but
have shown to prolong life in many individuals.
II. Change the following into actives or passives as appropriate.
1. The seeing-eye dog led the blind girl across the street.
2. The successful cricketer was knighted by the Queen.
3. The teacher told the students to read the passage carefully.
4. The newspaper appointed a new chief editor.
5. The president was criticized by conservative pundits.

•
47
Writing inTense
Sequence of Tenses
As in the other areas discussed in this section, Creole habits influence Caribbean students’ use
of tenses when they write Standard English. Formal written English observes what is called
“sequence of tense” agreement. In Creole, however, one hardly ever distinguishes between
present and past tenses by making any changes in the form of the verb. The context (adverbials)
and immediate feedback (oral variety) can usually make it clear to the hearer whether present or
past is meant. If it is necessary to signal past tense, some Creole speakers add a particle before
the verb rather than change the form of the verb. There is therefore no strict adherence to
maintaining consistency in the sequence of tenses in a discourse in Creole.

a) She see Jane yesterday. She saw Jane yesterday.
b) She did/bin see Jane in town. She saw Jane in town.
In formal written English, if you start a sentence with a verb in the past tense, for example, and
it is followed by another verb in a subordinate clause, the form of the second verb is determined
by the first verb. Consider the following:
c) I say that I will come.
d) I said that I would come.
You will notice that say in (c) has changed to said in (d), and that correspondingly will in (c)
has changed to would in (d). In other words, the past tense form said in sentence (d) has to be
followed by the past tense form of will (i.e. would). Here are a few other examples of sequence
of tense agreements:
e) She thinks that I am going to Mexico tomorrow.
f) She thought that I was going to Mexico tomorrow.
g) In the letter she goes on to say that she will be sending me a parcel.
h) In the letter she went on to say that she would be sending me a parcel.
i) Her main concern is that the world’s energy resources will soon be exhausted.
j) Her main concern was that the world’s energy resources would soon be exhausted.
k) You are advised to check your brakes before a long journey so that you will be able
to stop in sudden emergencies.
l) You were advised to check your brakes before a long journey so that you would be
able to stop in sudden emergencies.
One of the difficulties with the second verb in the second clause of the pairs above is that there
is a temptation to change the form of the verb to suit the tense that you intend, for example,
m) *I said that I will come.
Here you may think that will is more definite than would and is really saying what you want to
say. The problem is, however, that the sentence is dominated by the past tense form said, which
means that, in formal Standard English, all the subsequent dominated verbs have to be in the past
tense. You cannot, therefore, change the second verb to make it seem more positive.
It is important for you to remember these points when you are writing a report of a study or
drafting minutes of a meeting. It is in documents like these it is important that the reporting
tense be consistent.
Dominated verbs occur typically in what is called “reported speech” or “indirect speech.” Sentences
in reported or indirect speech begin with verbs such as:
n) I said that...
o) She told me that...
Dominated verbs also occur in sentences beginning with what are called “psychological” verbs,
for example,
p) I thought that...
q) We knew that ...
r) They believed that...
s) You did not realise that...

Tense 589
In all these cases the verb(s) that follow and are dominated by such verbs have to agree with
them in tense, especially when they are in the past tense.
In relating/reporting a series of events in narrative form to someone, while all the verbs have to
be in the past, note that there are different degrees of pastness. There is an event that definitely
happened in the past (simple past tense); there is an event that happened before another event,
both in the past (first event, past perfect; second event, simple past); and there is an event that
happened in the recent past and still has some effect on or continues into the present (present
perfect). All of these can be found in the narrative reported in the past tense. For example:
t) He went (simple past) to carnival even though he knew (simple past) that his mother had
died (past perfect) the week before and his father has been grieving (present perfect)
since then.
Students usually have particular problems with the present perfect (past with a connection to
the present). In Creole, speakers often avoid or seldom use have or has while these auxiliaries are
often used in Standard English when the circumstances are appropriate for the present perfect:
u) I eat already. I have already eaten.
If you monitor your own speech or that of a friend in informal situations, you might notice,
unless you try to speak Standard English as much as possible, that have is not used very often as
an auxiliary verb. Because of this difference between the vernacular and formal written English,
students therefore tend to have problems with have especially, as well as its past tense form had.
Here are some examples of has and have used in a present perfect context and had used in a past
perfect context.
v) She has played tennis since childhood. (Present perfect - singular subject)
w) They have gone to Jamaica for vacation for the last ten years. (Present perfect - plural
subject)
x) By the time he and his wife moved back to the Caribbean from the U.S., he had already
received his doctorate in psychology. (The action that occurred before the other action,
receiving the doctorate, is in the past perfect and the action that occurred after that, the
moving, is in the simple past tense.)
Edit Guides
Use these questions to help you with your editing.
• If the sentence is reporting a sequence of events that took place in the past are all the
verbs in the sentence in some form of past tense?
• If the first verb in reported speech is in the past tense are all the dominated verbs in the
past tense?
• If there is an event that began in the past but has a connection with the present, have
you used the present perfect?
Here are some student examples of errors in the use of sequence of tenses.
1. He said that he had been He said that he had been there

there before, but he will before but he would not be
not be going back there going back there again.
again.
2. I did not realise that I did not realise that monkeys

monkeys are used for medical were used for medical research.
research.
3. He is not here now because a He is not here now because a

short while ago he realised short while ago he realised
that he needed a book, so he that he needed a book, so he
went to the library to get has gone to the library to get
it. it.
Application: Sequence of Tenses

As a test of your understanding of the use of have and also of coherence across clauses
and sentences, insert the correct form of the verb in the following:
The manager said that he [be] sorry he [not be] here when you [telephone].
I myself [try] to ring you back straightaway but you [leave]. I’m afraid
you [do] quite a lot of damage to the computer when you [have] that little
outburst last week. The technician [work] on it now. He [try] to repair the
mother board for the last two hours but when he [remove] the connections,
he [realise] he [needed] a new chip. Someone already [go] to buy one. He
[not come] back yet but by the time you [do] your rounds and return, we
[make] everything as good as new. You [speak] to your superiors yet? If they
Tense 591
[accept] liability already, we [not need] to charge you, but here is a copy
I [make] of the statement of the damage it [cost] up to now to repair. I
wish I [not have to] charge so much but this incident now [set] us back more
than a week.
•
Use of Will/Would
The verb form would presents a special problem because it is used in English with several different
meanings and functions. In the sentences in which it occurs in the segment above on sequence
of tenses, it functions as the past tense of will. In the following sentence it has quite a different
meaning:
a) Over a long period of time he would always pass in front of her house just to
annoy her.
Here it is used to get over the meaning of a repeated action in the past. Another function of
would, which is the one that causes confusion in dominated verbs because it raises doubts about
the degree of certainty it conveys, is its use as a polite form, that is, to tone down a request, as in:
b) Would you please speak up a bit?

Instead of c) Will you please speak up?
Because would is frequently used for purposes of toning down or muting, you may get the
impression that you can always use it when you want to tone down and use will when you want
to be more definite or direct. In formal written English, sequence of tense agreements which
require will, as well as clear intention, usually take precedence over the use of would for purposes
of toning down or muting.
Edit Guides
Here are some questions to guide you during editing.
• If the sequence of tenses demands it (the controlling verb is in the present tense), have
you used the present tense form of will instead of would?
• If you want to express clear intention, have you used will instead of would?
The following are student examples of errors in the use of will/would.

1. Her main concern is that Her main concern is that the

the world’s food and energy world’s food and energy resources
resources would soon be will soon be exhausted.
exhausted.
2. You were advised to check your You were advised to check your
brakes before a long journey brakes before a long journey so
so that you will be able to that you would be able to stop
stop in sudden emergencies. in sudden emergencies.
3. After takeoff, we would be After takeoff, we will be

serving Danish pastries and serving Danish pastries and
orange juice. orange juice.
Conditionals
The other frequent use of would is in sentences that are called conditionals or “if ” sentences. In
these conditional or “if ” sentences, there is agreement between the verb in the first clause and
the one in the second clause in the same way that there is agreement between the dominating verb
and the dominated verb in the sentences given above. In reality, the “tense” in these conditional
sentences often signifies not time, but whether the event is possible, unlikely or impossible. So,
(a) if it is possible, the “tense” is usually present, (b) if it is less likely, the tense is simple past
and (c) if it is not possible because the condition was in the past, then the tense is past perfect.
For example,
a) If that trend continues, more and more of our values will be lost.
b) If that trend continued, more and more of our values would be lost.
c) If that trend had continued, more and more of our values would have been lost.
In the vernaculars, this kind of formal agreement between one part of a sentence and another
is not the rule. To a certain extent, in the vernaculars, each verb is more independent and is not
dominated as much, in its form, by other verbs in the sentence.
You should also be aware that not all conditional sentences contain the word “if.” The following
are types of conditional sentences which do not contain the word “if ”:
d) Had I known that you were coming, I would not have come.
Tense 593
e) Without these reinforcements, homes and businesses would not have survived the
hurricane.
These two sentences are conditionals because the first clause in each case is a reduced “if ”
clause:
f) If I had known ...
g) If they had not had reinforcements ...
A reduced “if ” clause, therefore, may still have an unexpressed verb which must be respected
because it affects the verb in the other clause.
Edit Guides
Use the following questions to help you edit your work.
• In a conditional sentence, if the verb in the “if ” clause is in a form of the present
(present or present perfect), is the verb in the main clause in the present tense?
• If the verb in the “if ” clause is in the simple past tense, is the verb in the main clause in
the past tense?
• If the verb in the “if ” clause is past perfect, is the verb in the main clause in the past
perfect?
Here are some student examples of errors in the use of conditionals.
1. If you mix with the wrong If you mix with the wrong
friends, then it is obvious friends, then it is obvious
that you would be persuaded that you will be persuaded to
to do as they do and be like do as they do and be like them.
them.
2. If every individual existed If every individual existed in

in a society where there were a society where there were no
no rules to guide or govern rules to guide or govern them,
them, then anarchy will then anarchy would prevail.
prevail.
3. If she had done that, I would If she had done that, I would
be shocked. have been shocked.
ASSIGNMENT: Verb Tense
Using the checklists given above, edit the following for problems with tense usage:
1. The manual tasks humans usually perform are being taken over by machines; this
situation would leave people unemployed.
2. If those children have not developed a positive self-image, they would begin to take the
situation personally.
3. Not only would they kill each other as soon as someone offends them or does them
some wrong, but because of their greed, they would start killing the other life forms.
4. Misunderstandings sometimes occurred when people of one culture do not understand

the rules of appropriate behaviour in another culture.
5. The meeting was a success because it has been planned carefully.

48
Writing inSentence Structure
Multi-clause Sentences
Errors of sentence structure usually involve a lack of knowledge of the difference between
a phrase and a clause and/or the acceptable ways of joining clauses in English. While some
students intuitively and unconsciously pick up the sentence patterns of English without
specifically being taught the four basic sentence types by clause structure (simple, compound,
complex, and compound-complex), other students seem to have difficulty in this area. Perhaps
one source of the problem for some Caribbean students stems from the fact that their native
Creole is essentially an oral language so there is no need to have an exact/strict knowledge of
when one sentence ends and another one begins. In a written variety, however, you need to know
what constitutes a well-structured sentence and when a sentence comes to an end and another
one begins since you will need to use the appropriate punctuation mark at this point.
Another factor which might influence the Creole speaker’s conception of what a clause/sentence
is in Standard English is that certain Creole clauses/sentences appear not to have what one
would call a finite verb in Standard English.
Standard English Creole
She is sick. She sick.
Here is a short explanation of the underlying structure of the four basic sentence types. These
are the patterns you need to follow when joining clauses to make longer sentences. First, you
need to know the difference between a phrase and a clause. A phrase is a group of words without a
subject and/or a verb. For example,
a) on the table (a prepositional phrase)

b) the big red hat (a noun phrase)
c) wading into the water (a participial phrase)
d) to go to work (an infinitival phrase)
All of these have functions in the sentence, but they do not make complete sense in and of
themselves and so are not sentences but fragments.
Then there is the clause. A clause is a group of words with both a subject and a verb. However, there
are two types of clauses: an independent main clause and a subordinate dependent clause. They
both have subjects and verbs, but the independent main clause makes complete sense. It is
therefore at the same time a sentence. The subordinate dependent clause, however, does not
make complete sense and is not a sentence but a fragment. For example,
e) Jamal has a good grasp of the English language.
This is an independent main clause; it has a subject and a finite verb and it makes complete sense.
f) *Even though Jamal has a good grasp of the English language.
This is a subordinate dependent clause; it has a subject and a verb, but it does not make complete
sense by itself, so it is not a sentence but a fragment. Note that there is always a subordinating
word or phrase (subordinating conjunctions or relative pronouns) at the beginning of each
dependent clause.
Clauses are the basis of the four sentence types in English. Here is a formula for the four types.
The abbreviation IC stands for an independent clause and DC stands for a dependent clause.
Sentence Types Examples
Type #1: The simple sentence – One h) Omar is going to St. Augustine
IC next semester.
Type #2: The compound sentence – i) Omar is going to St. Augustine

next semester but he would
i) IC + coordinating conjunction + IC prefer going to Mona.
ii) IC + semicolon + IC
iii) IC + semicolon +conjunctive adverb
+ comma + IC
Type #3: The complex sentence – j) Even though Omar is going

to St. Augustine next semester,
i) IC + DC he would prefer going to
ii)DC + comma + IC Mona.
Type #4: The compound/complex k) Omar is going to St. Augustine

sentence – IC + semicolon + IC + DC next semester but he would
prefer going to Mona because
his girlfriend is from Jamaica.
Sentence Structure 597
In the compound/complex sentence pattern, the minimum number of clauses needed is (3): the
types of clauses are 2 IC’s and l DC. Note that the two independent clauses in the compound/
complex sentence can be joined in any of the three compound sentence ways. Examples of the
four types are given in the chart above.
In order to check the correctness of your sentences, it is a good idea for you to familiarize
yourself with the most common conjunctions. The coordinating conjunctions are easy because
there are only seven of them, namely, for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so. However, there are many
subordinating conjunctions and conjunctive adverbs. You might check a grammar book in
the library for lists of these two types of words involved in sentence structure. A deficient
knowledge in this area leads to sentence fragments, fused/ run-on sentences, comma splices,
dangling modifiers and faulty parallel structure. You therefore need to be familiar with these
patterns in order to correct these errors.
Sentence Structure Problems

Sentence Fragments
Sentence fragments are ill-formed sentences which are either phrases only (without a finite verb
and/or a subject) or a subordinate clause or set of clauses without any main clause. A finite verb
is a verb that has a subject and is marked for tense. For example,
*a) Going to the USA to study. (No subject or finite verb - Phrase fragment)
*b) Because he has finally found a job. (Dependent clause fragment)
Edit Guides
Ask yourself the following questions as you edit.
• Does your sentence have at least one subject and finite verb pair?
• If your sentence has more than one subject and finite verb pair, and therefore more than
one clause, is at least one of those clauses a main clause which makes complete sense by
itself ?
The following examples are fragment errors from student writings.

1. The biggest problem being its The biggest problem is its

pollution of the atmosphere, pollution of the atmosphere,
of the ozone layer and the depletion of the ozone layer
subsequent exposure of the and the subsequent exposure
earth to higher levels of of the earth to higher levels
ultra-violet rays. of ultra-violet rays.
2. When you realise that you You realise that you can no
can no longer walk your same longer walk your same old path
old path because a monument because a monument of some
of some technological change technological change has been
has been placed there. placed there.
Fused or Run-on Sentences

Fused or run-on sentences are sentences composed of a string of clauses which are run together
one after the other without any joining devices (coordinating or subordinating) between them
or separation devices (a period) which would make them into separate sentences. For example,
*a) Look at that dog his foot is caught in the grate.
Here the first clause is a command, Look at that dog, which is an independent clause. The second
independent clause is His foot is caught in the grate. These two independent clauses are run together
so this is a fused sentence. Here is one way to correct it.
b) Look at that dog; his foot is caught in the grate.
Here is another variation of the fused/run-on sentence:
*c) She kept calling him on his cell phone however he did not answer her calls.
In this sentence, the conjunctive adverb is being used as a joiner, but it is not a conjunction;
according to the formula given above, using a semi-colon before “however” and a comma after
it would be the easiest way to correct it.
d) She kept calling him on his cell phone; however, he did not answer her calls.
Edit Guides
Here are some questions to guide you as you edit.
• If there are several clauses in a sentence, are they either subordinated to other clauses or
coordinated with each other?
• Are you mistaking a conjunctive adverb (therefore, however, consequently, etc.) for a
conjunction? Conjunctive adverbs are not clause-joining devices by themselves.
• Would the clauses be better separated by a period?
Here are some student examples of fused/run on sentences.
1. Personally, I do not agree with I do not agree with these

these advertisements the best advertisements. The best way
way to prevent contracting to prevent contracting the
the virus is just to refrain virus is just to refrain from
from sexual behaviour until sexual behaviour until you can
you can find a trustworthy find a trustworthy partner and
partner and spend the rest of spend the rest of your life
your life with him/her. with him/her.
2. After gaining this “respect,” After gaining this “respect,”

they would not want to lose they would not want to lose
it therefore they have to it; therefore, they have to
continue doing lawless acts continue doing lawless acts to
to keep it. keep it.
Comma Splices
Comma splices are sentences which are composed of two or more independent main clauses
spliced together by a comma. Commas alone are not independent clause joiners in English. For
example, the following is a comma splice error.
*a) I left my history book in your car, I am coming to get it.
Here are two possible ways to correct of this comma splice.
b) I left my history book in your car so I am coming to get it.
c) I left my history book in your car; I am coming to get it.

Here is another variation of the comma splice:
*d) Melissa failed one of her final year courses, as a result, she did not graduate last year.
In this comma splice, the comma before the conjunctive adverb is mistakenly being used to join
the two independent clauses together. The only punctuation mark that can be used to join two
independent clauses together is a semi-colon. To check the correct ways to join two independent
clauses, see the three ways to create compound sentences given above. Alternatively, separate the
two independent clauses with a period, making two simple sentences. Here are two other ways,
other than using a semi-colon, to correct this comma splice.
e) Melissa failed one of her final year courses. As a result, she did not….
f) Melissa failed one of her final year courses so she did not….
Edit Guides
Here are some questions to guide you when you edit.
• If you have more than one main clause in a sentence, are they either coordinated (by
a coordinating conjunction or a semi-colon) or separated into two separate sentences?
(Remember, a comma is not a joining device.)
• In a main clause, subordinate clause, main clause sequence is the subordinate clause
subordinated to the clause before it or after it? (It cannot be subordinated to both. After
deciding which main clause the dependent clause is subordinated to, the two complete
thoughts need to be coordinated in some way).
• If a conjunctive adverb comes between two main clauses are those two main clauses
coordinated by a semi-colon?
The following sentences are student examples of errors involving comma splices.
1. One obvious difference is One obvious difference is that

that in the case of humans, in the case of humans, language
language in most cases can in most cases can be oral as
be oral as well as written, well as written. It may also
it may also be communicated be communicated by means of
by means of actions as in actions as in the case of sign
the case of sign language. language.
2. This lawlessness did not This lawlessness did not

just show its ugly head just show its the ugly head
overnight, instead, the so- overnight; instead, the so-
called parents allowed this called parents allowed this
menace to dominate in our menace to dominate in our
society. society.
3. This factor also affects This factor also affects

global warming, since the global warming. Since the
carbon-dioxide molecule carbon-dioxide molecule takes
takes in more heat than the in more heat than the oxygen
oxygen molecule, it accounts molecule, it accounts for why
for why the average annual the average annual temperature
temperature has increased by has increased by 2-7°C.
2-7°C.
Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers

Dangling modifiers usually occur when a sentence begins with a phrase (usually participial) having
no expressed subject and the subject that begins the following independent clause is not the
thing or person being modified by the initial phrase. A general rule about modifiers in English is
that they should come next to the thing or person being modified. For example,
*a) When a baby, my mother gave me a gold bangle.
“When a baby,” is not meant to modify “my mother” but an “I” that is not expressed in the
sentence. That is why the phrase is dangling. To correct this dangling modifier, the phrase at
the beginning of the sentence can be turned into a dependent clause inserting the missing “I.”
For example,
b) When I was a baby, my mother gave me a gold bangle.
Sometimes, a dangling modifier can be corrected by restating the main clause to bring the missing
element (here “I”) to the front of the clause:
c) When a baby, I was given a gold bangle by my mother.
Note that simply flipping the two parts of the sentence does not correct the dangling modifier.
With misplaced modifiers, both the modifier and the thing modified are expressed in the sentence,
but the modifier is not next to the thing modified and so it appears to be modifying whatever it
is next to. For example,
*d) The woman surrendered a large bag to the police that was full of drugs.
Here the dependent clause that was full of drugs is next to the police, but of course it is meant to
modify a large bag so it should be moved next to bag.
e) The woman surrendered a large bag that was full of drugs to the police.
Edit Guides
Edit your work using the following questions as guides.
• Is the thing or person being modified by a sentence-initial phrase next to the modifying
phrase?
• Is the modifier next to the thing being modified?
Here are some examples of student sentences with problems involving dangling and misplaced
modifiers.
1. After releasing the suspect, After releasing the suspect,

new evidence was found. the police found new
evidence.
2. Some insecticides are still Some insecticides that are

being used on food crops that considered dangerous are
are considered dangerous. still being used on food
crops.
Faulty Parallel Structure

Faulty parallel structure usually occurs in the context of coordinated structures. When two or
more words, phrases or clauses are joined by coordinators, they should be parallel in structure;
they should follow the same structural form. Words should be coordinated with words, phrases
with phrases, and clauses with clauses. In addition, the words, phrases, and clauses must be of
the same type. An adjective cannot be joined to a noun; a noun phrase cannot be joined to a
verb phrase, and so on.
For example,
*a) After I graduate, I want to find a good job, get married, and I am going to buy a house.
Not all three things coordinated are phrases; one is a clause. Here is a correction of the
parallelism in this sentence.
b) After I graduate, I want to find a good job, get married, and buy a house.
Here is another example of faulty parallelism.
*c) When I go to the beach, I like swimming in the ocean, tanning on the shore, and to
collect sea shells.
This faulty parallelism can be corrected in two ways.
d) When I go to the beach, I like to swim in the ocean, tan on the shore, and collect sea
shells.
e) When I go to the beach, I like swimming in the ocean, tanning on the shore, and
collecting sea shells.
Edit Guides
Questions you can use to check your work:
• Are words coordinated with words, phrases with phrases and clauses with clauses?
• Are the phrases or clauses coordinated all following the same structural pattern?
Here are some student examples with errors in parallel structure.
1. I would strongly suggest that I would strongly suggest that

the television be used in the television be used in
moderation and not abuse it. moderation and not be abused.
2. Sometimes, to fit in with persons Sometimes, to fit in with persons

who most people would consider who people would consider
“radical,” the individual is “radical,” the individual is
forced to do things that are not forced to do things that are
right or defiant of authority. not right or are defiant of
authority.
ASSIGNMENT
Using the sentence structure checklists above, edit the following sentences for errors in sentence
structure:
1. The bees have a queen and if there are two queens they battle to the death, whichever
one survives will remain in the hive.
2. Athletics has gone through a familiar pattern in the co-educational schools. A pattern
attributed to the influence of girls in the school.
3. When thoroughly cleaned, you should wash and salt the fish.
4. It seems essential to educate people into (a) accepting the need to limit their families and
(b) in methods of achieving this.
5. The author claims the revolt was caused by corruption in the first chapter.
6. Standards of hygiene and nutrition are also low because of high unemployment many
people cannot afford to buy vitamins and proteins, which are often expensive.
7. In one semester I failed two classes with that I was ready to give up.
8. Most college students go through this fear. The fear of not understanding the material
being taught.
9. Our society uses labels to distinguish between people as a result people have selective
perceptions.
10. The gradual weaning of learners into English does not help them achieve proficiency
in the language, or score better on tests, granted in cases like this there are always
differentiations from the norm, just as there is with all learning.
49
Miscellaneous Confusables
There are quite a few pairs or sets of words that cause students problems in terms of their
correct usage. Many of them sound alike or look alike. Because of these similarities, when you
write, you need to be clear about the context of usage of each of the words in these pairs or
sets. Even if your computer has a grammar check, it cannot choose which one is correct in the
context of a particular sentence because the computer cannot read context. Here are a few that
cause the most problems, but there are many more.
Its/It’s
The forms its and it’s are often confused by students. Its is used to show possession (belonging
to it) as in The dog lay on its side. Its in this case is co-referential with dog and shows that side also
refers to some part of the dog; its is the possessive pronoun form of it. It’s is the contracted form
of it is; that is, it as subject and is as a verb linking the subject with a predicative complement.
Compare the use of the forms in the following sentences.
a) It’s going to rain today.

Here the contracted form of it is is needed.
b) The lioness held its cub by the scruff of its neck.
Here its is possessive in both cases; the first mention refers to the antecedent lioness and the
second mention refers to the antecedent cub.
c) The committee announced its decision at the end of the meeting. (possession)
d) It’s a shame that the committee couldn’t arrive at a decision earlier. (contraction)
The following are examples of student sentences in which these forms are confused.
1. A foetus in it’s mothers’ A foetus in its mother’s womb

womb is in contact with it’s is in contact with its mother
mother, who is female.
In addition to the problem with its, the sentence also has wrong placement of the apostrophe in
mother. The phrase who is female is redundant. Refer to the section on possession in Chapter 44 to
review the use of the apostrophe.
2. Economically, Caribbean Economically, Caribbean

countries may be unable to countries may be unable to
(adequately) provide it’s provide their students with an
student population with an adequate education.
adequate education.
There/Their/They
These forms are often confused, and we suggest that you should note the differences between
them and practise using them appropriately. When there precedes a form of the verb be, it
indicates that the verb is going to precede the subject in that sentence. For example,
a) There were dub artistes from different countries performing at the concert.
In this context, there is an existential construction. It has the same function in similar sentences.
Sentences beginning with there in initial position are weak in comparison with those that do not.
Compare the following.
b) Dub artistes from different countries were performing at the concert.
It is important to vary your sentence structure to avoid monotony. We find many examples in
which students use they or their in the way that there is used in (a); *They were dub artistes ...; *Their
were dub artistes ... Neither they nor their functions as an existential form. They is the third-person
plural pronoun (subjective case) and their is the possessive form of they. Consider the following
example where all three are used correctly.
c) There were dub artistes from different countries performing at the concert. They all
agreed to donate their proceeds to the hospital.
The following are student examples of errors in the use of there, their and they.
Miscellaneous Confusables 607
1. However, they are those However, there are those people

persons to whom the highest to whom the highest educational
educational qualifications qualifications are not that
are not that important. important.
2. Think what would happen if Think what would happen if there

they were no laws. were no laws.
3. In addition to that, the In addition, the family

family are happy; their members are happy; they do
do things together, and go things together, and go places
places together. together.
4. Yet there are willing to give Yet they are willing to give up
up on their first disagreement. on their first disagreement.
The mistakes with there and their probably occur because they are homophones; they sound the
same. Many West Indians pronounce they in the same way as there and their in fast speech. This
may explain the tendency to use they when one of the other two forms is required. In very careful
speech, one may detect a slight difference in the pronunciation of these words.
The only way to ensure that you do not make mistakes with the three forms is to learn them and
the ways in which they function in sentences.
Affect/Effect
The difference between affect and effect is semantic and we must be careful to use them appropriately
to convey the intended meanings. Consider the following examples from a student’s writing.
a) *Psychologists say that what happens in a person’s childhood effects them in their adult
life.
Here the meaning that is intended is that something (experiences in childhood) influences
something else (individuals later in life). In such a context, the choice of word should be affect.
We need the verb form of the word that indicates the meaning that one thing influences another.
Effects cannot carry the predicating function which it is given in (a). As a noun, effect is equivalent
in meaning to result of, for example,
b) The ultimate effect of marijuana may be a deficiency in the nervous system.
As a verb, effect means to produce an effect.
c) They effected several legislative changes but could do nothing to stop the use of
marijuana.
Than/Then
The forms than and then are often confused by students when they write. Than is used when two
people or things are being compared. Then is used to indicate a sequence, most often a time
sequence. It could also be used, however, to indicate items arranged in a sequence. Compare the
use of these two words in the following sentences.
a) My dog Chet is more intelligent than any other dog I have ever had. (comparison}
b) In my twenties, I lived in Dominica for three years; then I moved to Jamaica and lived
there for ten years. (time sequence)
Students often confuse these two words because of the minimal difference between them, only
a vowel. Because of this minimal difference, in fast informal speech, it is often difficult to
distinguish which one is being used. It is therefore important for you to know which one of the
pair is comparison (the “a” one) and which one is time (the “e” one) so that you do not make
this error when you write.
The following are some student sentences with errors in the use of than and then.
1. My brother Tony always got better My brother Tony always got

grades then I did. better grades than I did.
2. Marvin worked in the government Marvin worked in the

service as a clerk for ten years, government as a clerk
than began his college career for ten years, then began
in his thirties. his college career in his
thirties.
Lead/Led
The correct use of these two verbs poses problems for many people, not only students. One
cause of the confusion between these two verbs is thinking that the verb “to lead” acts similarly
to the verb “to read.” The verb “to read” does not change form over the present tense form,
the past tense form, and the past participle form. However, there is a change of pronunciation
between the present tense form and the other two. While the present tense form is pronounced
as though it were spelled “reed,” the past tense and the past participle forms are pronounced as
though they were spelled “red.” The verb “to lead” does not follow this pattern. There is both
a spelling and a pronunciation change in the past tense form and the past participle form. The
present tense form is spelled “lead” but the past tense and the past participle forms are spelled
“led.” Many people, following the verb “to read,” use the word “lead” as the past tense and past
participle forms. Here are examples of this verb used correctly in all three forms.
a) When the blind girl goes out alone, a seeing-eye dog leads her around.
b) A seeing-eye dog led the blind girl across the street at the traffic light.
c) The blind girl was led across the street by a seeing-eye dog.
Further confusion with these two verb forms is caused by the pronunciation of the noun form
lead when it means the metal lead. Consequently, if you are using the verb form, remember the
past tense and the past participle forms have both a spelling and a pronunciation change from
the present tense form.
Here are some examples of unedited sentences from students
1. After twenty minutes of After twenty minutes of

looking for the house looking for the house
without success, a helpful without success, a helpful
pedestrian lead us to the pedestrian led us to the
house at the end of the house at the end of the
street. street.
2. Her previous boyfriend had Her previous boyfriend had

lead her to believe that he led her to believe that he
would marry her, but he would marry her, but he
never did. never did.
ASSIGNMENT: Confusables
1. Select the appropriate form from those in parentheses for each of the following
sentences.
a) (They/their/there) are several benefits to be derived from daily exercise.
b) Never before had (their/there/they) been a hurricane of such strength.
c) Whenever (their/they/there) were called upon to demonstrate the use of (they/

their/there) invention (they/there/their) offered a lame excuse for (there/their/
they) absence.
d) (They/there/their) had never seen such a gadget before, and (their/they/there)

were surprised by (it’s/its) versatility.
e) (It’s/Its) a long, long time from May to December.
f) It had a strange debilitating (effect/affect) on me and I was forced to stay in bed for
the whole day; I must confess that nothing has ever (affected/effected) me in this
way.
g) I had not seen my high school best friend in five years; (than/then) I ran into her
about three times last week.
h) That band (lead/led) the road march to the Stadium at Crop Over last year.
2. Edit the following sentences which were written by first-year university students. You
may rewrite the sentences but without avoiding use of the form that has caused the
problem.
a) Males, on the other hand, would sit back and take things how there were, but would
try to attain the better “perks” of society.
b) In this passage their is a temporal movement which followed a normal chronological

order.
c) I view this as a means of showing people what can come out of these practices and
what affects it can have on they society.
d) Their is creativity within every language.
e) In the past they wasn’t much talk of insecticide, or all those other -cides.
f) For the noise of our engines and various motors which propel the equipment often
emit sound as a form of it’s energy discharge.
g) Studying for a final exam over a period of time is better then cramming at the last
minute.
h) After the arrest at his house, the prominent lawyer, wearing handcuffs, was lead to
the waiting police car.
50
Mechanics
Capitalisation
Knowing what to capitalise and what not to capitalise is a growing problem with many students.
Here is a list of the occasions when you should capitalise and some warnings about when not
to capitalise:
1. Capitalise proper nouns, namely, names of people, places and animals:

Natalie Antigua Lassie
Thomas R. Joseph Port of Spain Fluffy
Mother (name called)
BUT DO NOT capitalise common nouns:

girl, woman, man country, city dog, cat
my mother (relationship)
Note that when the word “mother” is the name you call your mother, it does not have a
possessive word before it and is capitalised but if the word is used to signify relationship, it will
have a possessive word before it and will begin with a lower case letter.
2. Capitalise titles before proper nouns:

Judge Henderson Aunt Rita Father John
Prime Minister Manley Professor Brown Bishop Graham
BUT DO NOT capitalise the title alone:

a judge my aunt a priest
a prime minister a professor a bishop
3. Capitalise months, days of the week and holidays:

Monday January Christmas
Saturday April Good Friday

Mechanics 613
4. Capitalise nationalities, religions, languages:

American Catholicism English
Jamaican Rastafarianism Spanish
5. Capitalise the names of specific mountains, parks, bodies of water and planets:
Soufriere Atlantic Ocean Mars
Queens Park Caribbean Sea Venus
BUT DO NOT capitalise non-specific references:

mountain planet ocean

park river sea
6. Capitalise the names of buildings, companies and institutions/organisations:

Central Bank University of the West Indies Desnoes and Geddes
Taj Mahal Barbados Mutual United Nations
BUT DO NOT capitalise non-specific entities:

building company university

monument bank organisation
7. Capitalise names of political parties and departments and branches of government:

Jamaica Labour Party The Government of Grenada
Ministry of Education
BUT DO NOT capitalise:

government buses political party education
8. Capitalise names of historical events, periods, documents:

Emancipation Act Renaissance World War II
Treaty of Chaguaramas Victorian Age Vietnam War
9. Capitalise names of religious, sacred books and words (including pronouns) that refer to
God and religions:

the Lord Christianity Heaven
Jewish the Bible the Old Testament
Moslem the Koran God (Christian God)
10. Capitalise specific titles of courses:

West Indian History Introductory Physics Beginners’ French
Advanced Mathematics Introduction to Sociology The Moderns
BUT DO NOT capitalise general areas of study unless they are languages:

history physics French

mathematics sociology English
11. Capitalise the first and last words of titles; in between the first and last words of
the title, capitalise everything except articles, coordinating conjunctions and short
prepositions up to 3 letters.
Palace of the Peacock In the Castle of My Skin
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
12. DO NOT capitalise the names of trees, plants, fruits, vegetables, flowers, birds, animals
or musical instruments:

coconut tree mango hibiscus
black bird cassava black belly sheep

piano guitar steel pan
13. DO NOT capitalise seasons:

spring winter summer autumn
14. DO NOT CAPITALISE points of the compass when they refer to a direction, but
DO CAPITALISE them when they name a location (proper noun).

north east south west
BUT: South Africa, the Far East
15. DO NOT capitalise technical/scientific terms unless they include the names of people:
genetic engineering global warming
the greenhouse effect euthanasia
BUT: Parkinson’s disease

Mechanics 615
16. DO NOT CAPITALISE the topics of essays appearing in the text, but DO
CAPITALISE them in the title of the essay.
the computer pollution
over-population religious cults
BUT: The Effects of Noise Pollution on Hearing (title)
Application: Capitalisation
Edit the following student sentences for problems with capitalisation:
1. In fact, many of the lesser developed islands have Agriculture as the backbone of their
economies.
2. In summary, the caribbean should continue to develop agriculture since this has been
and will continue to be the industry we can fall back on when other industries fail.
3. If such a reduction does not occur, the need to go to an International lending body such
as the International Monetary Fund will become inevitable.
4. The law, which is based on christian principles, should rule in favour of abolition of
capital punishment.
5. True love is not the love of material things, but rather it is the love of God; only through
him are we made pure.
6. Another of the diseases aided and abetted by the constant inhalation of cigarette smoke
is that of Coronary Heart Disease.
7. Water pollution, Air pollution and Noise pollution are three of the major forms affecting
us.
8. Standard english is nothing more than a dialect that has gained prestige.
9. In our society, advancements in Technology have in many ways improved the world we
live in.
10. In countries such as india and brasil, farmers view children as a cheap alternative to
expensive equipment or paid labourers.
11. Co-education has been the reason for the failure of boys in our Education System.
12. During the renaissance many Latin words entered the english language to lend more
sophistication to its vocabulary.
•
Punctuation
Many students believe that punctuation is only a cosmetic aspect of written English and that it is
not very important. This, however, is not so. Punctuation is often very important to the correct
interpretation of the sentence.
Here are some brief guidelines about the functions of the various punctuation marks:
The Comma
Because the comma is usually thought to be the least important punctuation mark, it is the
most abused. It is often over-used, breaking sentences at inappropriate points, or under-used,
causing phrases and clauses to crash into each other. But the comma can be such an important
punctuation mark at times that its presence or absence can make a difference to the meaning of
a sentence. For example:
a) Although I wanted to kill Max, I controlled myself.
b) Although I wanted to kill, Max, I controlled myself.
c) Democracies which aim at equality do not reward creativity.
d) Democracies, which aim at equality, do not reward creativity.
Here are the comma rules:
1. Use commas to separate items (words, phrases or sentences) in a list or series; a

list is three or more items:
a) In order to write a good essay, you need to pay attention to content, organisation,
style and mechanics.
2. Especially if needed to clarify meaning, use a comma (optionally) to separate

modifying introductory words, phrases and clauses from the independent clause.
b) Clearly, the students had not been taught how to write an essay. (word)
c) After revising her first draft, she typed it on the computer. (phrase)
d) When she went to buy her textbook, the bookstore did not have it. (clause)
Mechanics 617
3. Use a comma (optionally) to separate two or more adjectives preceding a noun

when each of these adjectives modifies the noun separately.
e) The tall, skinny man…
f) The big black Mercedes car...
However, when the modifiers are modifying each other or are cumulative, no commas
should be used between them:
g) The girl had light brown hair.
Note: You can use a test for whether commas between adjectives are needed or not. If you
verbalise “and” between the two adjectives and it makes sense (a small and skinny guy), then use
a comma between the two adjectives. If “and” does not make sense between the two adjectives,
do not use a comma between them. For example, “and” does not make sense between “light”
and “brown,” so do not use a comma between them.
4. Use commas to set off non-restrictive (non-essential) relative clauses from the
related noun phrase, but do not use commas if the relative clause is restrictive
(essential because it is defining):
h) My maternal grandmother, who died last year, left me a plot of land in her will.
i) Waitresses who give good service get generous tips.
Note: Relative clauses with the relative pronoun “that” are always restrictive and so they never
have commas around them.
j) The hat that I wore last night was bought in London.
5. Words or phrases that are non-essential interrupters in the sentence should be set
off by commas (a weak break):
k) Female students, according to the study, are doing better than male students in co-
educational schools.
6. Use commas to set off appositives (a noun or pronoun that explains the noun
that precedes it):
l) Miss Hackett, my favourite teacher, is wearing a wig.

7. Use commas before tags in tag questions:
m) He went to school, didn’t he?
8. Use commas to separate items in addresses (written in linear fashion), and in

dates and names if you change the normal sequence of the items:
n) 23 Tulip Ave, Husbands, St. James.
o) 2 May 1961 but May 2, 1961
p) John Robinson but Robinson, John
9. DO NOT use one comma to separate a subject from its verb or a verb from its
object:
*
Cultures that rarely experience cold weather and snow, may have only one word to
express several concepts that are differentiated in English. (The comma here separates
the subject from the verb and therefore should be removed).
*
He learned at an early age, the necessity of economy. (The comma here separates
the verb from its object. To correct this sentence, the comma should be removed,
or the phrase “at an early age” should be set off from the verb and its object by
putting two commas around it).
The Period or Full Stop

Use a period at the end of a declarative sentence, a non-emphatic imperative sentence and a
non-emphatic exclamatory sentence. This sounds simple, but it supposes that you know what
constitutes a sentence.
a) She laughed. (declarative)
b) She looked at me but I ignored her. (declarative)
c) Hand me a nail. (non-emphatic imperative)
d) I don’t believe you. (non-emphatic exclamation)
1. Use a period at the end of an indirect question:
e) He asked me where I was going.

Mechanics 619
2. Use a period after most abbreviations:
f) Mr. Green
g) Dr. Cadogan
h) Nov., Dec.
i) Tues., Sat.
j) lb., tsp., etc.
3. Use a period after numbers and letters in a list, except when they are in
parentheses:

1. a. A.

2. b. B.

3. c. C.
The Semi-colon
1. Use a semi-colon to link (coordinate) two independent clauses:
a) When I sold that car, I had had it for six years; it had done nearly eighty thousand
miles.
Note: The two clauses so coordinated should have a close relationship to each other - causal,
sequential, contrasting, etc.
Also note: Do not use a semi-colon between parts of unequal rank such as a clause and a phrase
or a main clause and a subordinate clause.
2. Use a semi-colon to separate elements in a list if the individual items are long, or
if the items themselves have commas within them:
b) Colin went to three medical conferences last summer: one was in Akron, Ohio;
another was in San Francisco, California; and a third was in Orlando, Florida.
The Colon
1. Use a colon to introduce a list or a series:
a) The four strokes of an internal combustion engine are as follows: suction,

compression, ignition, exhaustion.
DO NOT use a colon after an incomplete sentence or fragment when introducing a list:
*b) The documents you need to bring are: your birth certificate, your Trinidadian
passport and your airline ticket.
2. Use a colon to introduce quotations, especially long ones that are set off from the
rest of the text:
c) As Trudgill (1974) said:
Many aspects of the social situation, then, can contribute to deciding which
linguistic variety is to be employed on a particular occasion, while the styles and
registers which make up speakers’ verbal repertoires are the particular version of
their dialects which they use in particular contexts for particular topics.
3. Use a colon to introduce a clause which illustrates, explains or amplifies the first
one:
d) It is safe to predict what prices will do in the next decade: they will go up.
4. Use a colon to separate subtitles from titles:
e) 2001: A Space Odyssey
The Dash
1. Use a dash to separate an aside (a medium break) from the rest of the sentence:
a) I compiled the attached bibliography on the subject – it is not an exhaustive one –

when I was in college.
2. Use a dash to set off a word or phrase for emphasis:
b) And there it was – a white lizard.
Parentheses
Use parentheses to enclose extra material (explanations, asides, etc.) that would
otherwise interrupt the flow of the sentence (a strong break):
a) If you go skin-diving at night (an adventure for only the most experienced divers)
you can observe strange and amazing phenomena.
Mechanics 621
Note: You can set off material inserted in the middle of a clause by putting it between commas,
between dashes or between parentheses. The commas are the weakest break; the parentheses are
the strongest break. You must, however, be consistent: two commas, two dashes or parentheses.
Question Mark
1. Use a question mark after direct questions - with or without change of word
order:
a) Are you going to town?
b) You are going to town?
2. Use a question mark after an interrogative sentence which is part of a larger

sentence:
c) Where can I go? was the question on my mind.
3. Use a question mark within parentheses after a word or phrase to indicate

uncertainty:
d) His funny (?) stories were a cure for insomnia.
Exclamation Mark/Point
Use an exclamation point after emphatic interjections, or to indicate surprise or other
strong emotion:
a) Hey!
b) Stop!
c) How can you believe that!
Apostrophe
1. Use the apostrophe in contractions (to indicate ellipsis of a letter or number):
wasn’t I’ll
it’s ’73
2. Use the apostrophe to indicate possession:

Singular possession: boy’s, country’s, man’s
Plural possession: boys’, countries’, men’s
Note where the apostrophe is placed in irregular noun plurals such as men, women and
children.
3. Use the apostrophe to indicate the plural of letters and numbers (one option):
three A’s four g’s
five 8’s ten 5’s
Quotation Marks
1. Use double quotation marks for direct speech:
a) “I have no intention of staying,” he replied.
2. Use double quotation marks for short passages borrowed from written sources
and integrated within the text of your paper:
b) According to Whittaker (1991), it was “the most important discovery of the the
twentieth century.”
Note: Long quotations are blocked and indented without quotation marks.
3. Use double quotation marks for minor titles (short stories, short poems, articles
in journals, unpublished works, etc.):
c) In his article “The Old Days” in the Advocate News, Clarke supports my views on the
matter.
4. Use quotation marks around words used in a special sense: if you are introducing
the word as a word or term (to define it, for instance); if you are using the word
sarcastically; if the word is not in the linguistic register of the rest of your paper:
d) The word “bias” is often misused in students’ scripts.
5. For quotes within quotes, use double quotation marks for the outer quotation
and single quotation marks for the inner quotation:
e) The director of the play said to the actor: “Don’t forget that I changed those lines
Mechanics 623
last night. In place of ‘Are you going to Alana’s house?’ the question should now be
‘Are you going there again?’”
6. Things to note about quotation marks:
i) The period and the comma are placed before the end quotation marks;
ii) The colon and semi-colon are placed outside the quotation marks;
iii) The dash, question mark, and exclamation mark are placed within the quotation
marks when they apply to the quoted matter only, outside when they refer to the
whole sentence.
Application: Punctuation
Edit the following student sentences for problems with punctuation:
1. One of the major factors affecting most countries today, is the threat of over-population.
2. Unlike broken limbs broken lives and trusts are more difficult to mend for beyond the
shadows of pain lurk scars that may never heal.
3. My sister likes mushy romances, I like science fiction movies so we always argue about
what to see.
4. Families are faced with the problem of locating a doctor who may live several miles
away.
5. After sewage has been dumped in the sea sewage decay utilises oxygen and so deprives
marine life of oxygen.
6. The main purpose of this exercise, is to be able to feed the growing population of the
world.
7. The Trinidad government has introduced a law, that says that anyone found on the
school premises with narcotics or any related substance, covered by the Bill, will be
deemed to be a trafficker.
8. Secondary smoke which is the smoke exhaled by the smoker is just as dangerous as the
inhaled smoke.
9. One of the more irresponsible acts of man,is when he wilfully dumps his garbage, most
of which could be recycled in either a gully or on somebody else’s property.
10. It is important to note, that every individual is different and will react to the law
differently.
11. The country is then saddled with the burden of providing health care in the areas which
are the most costly, neo-natal, post-natal and early childhood.
12. It is equally important to instill in our youth, values which boost their self esteem.
Spelling
•
While there are not enough spelling rules to help you spell every word and the few that there are
all have exceptions, knowing these rules can still help you if you have spelling problems because
they apply to words that are often misspelled. Other words you simply have to learn to spell. If
you know you have spelling problems, always use a dictionary to check your spelling during the
editing phase of the writing process.
Rule 1: Adding prefixes

When adding a prefix (to the beginning of a base word) and the prefix ends with the same letter
that the base word begins with, include both letters:
un + necessary = unnecessary
dis + satisfied = dissatisfied
mis + spelled = misspelled
When a prefix is added to a base word that does not begin with the same letter that the prefix
ends with, you do not double the consonant of the prefix:
dis + appear = disappear

un + usual = unusual
Rule 2: Adding suffixes - no change

When you add a suffix (to the end of the base word) and the base word ends with the same letter
that the suffix begins with, you include both letters:
real + ly = really
incidental + ly = incidentally
book + keeper = bookkeeper
If the final letter of the base word is not the same as the initial letter of the suffix, no double
consonant appears:
sincere + ly = sincerely
clear + ly = clearly
Mechanics 625
Rule 3: Adding suffixes - doubling or not doubling preceding consonants

Under certain circumstances, final consonants before suffixes are doubled:
a) When a word has only one syllable and the word ends with a single consonant preceded
by a single vowel, then the final consonant is doubled:
run +n + ing = running
stop + p + ed = stopped
fit + t + ing = fitting
b) When a word has more than one syllable and the final consonant is preceded by a
single vowel, then the final consonant is doubled if the stress is on the final syllable:
begin + n + ing = beginning
refer + r + ed = referred
occur + r + ed = occurred
commit + t + ed = committed
fulfil + l + ed = fulfilled
Note that if the suffix begins with a consonant and not a vowel, then the final consonant is not
doubled:
commit + ment = commitment
fulfil + ment = fulfilment (British English)
Exception: In American English, “fulfillment” has two l’s because the base word is spelled
“fulfill” in American English.
Note also that if the stress is not on the final syllable but on the first, then the consonant is
generally not doubled, but this is not absolute. There are many exceptions.
differ + ed = differed
falter + ing = faltering
Exception: in British English, “cancelled” and “travelled” are spelled with two l’s.
However, note that in American English, these two words are spelled with only one “i” in them.
c) When the final consonant is preceded by another consonant, the final consonant is not
doubled:
part + ing = parting
walk + ing = walking
surf + ing = surfing
d) When the final consonant is preceded by two vowels, the final consonant is not doubled:
read + ing = reading
eat + ing = eating
steer + ing = steering
Rule 4: Adding suffixes - changing y to i before suffixes

When a word ends in y preceded by a consonant, change the y to an i before all suffixes except
-ing:
study + ed = studied but studying
cry + ed = cried but crying
happy + er = happier
busy + ness = business
Note that if the y is preceded by a vowel, however, do not change the y to an i:
stay + ed = stayed
joy + ful = joyful
Exceptions:
shy + ly = shyly
day + ly = daily
pay + ed = paid
say + ed = said
Rule 5: Adding suffixes – dropping final e before suffixes

Many English words end in an -e that is not itself pronounced, but its presence or absence
affects the pronunciation of the internal vowel sound of the syllable: when it is present, the
vowel sound is long; when it is not present, the vowel sound is short:
Short Long
mat mate
for fore
ton tone
Mechanics 627
When adding a suffix, the final -e should be dropped if it precedes a suffix beginning with a
vowel, but retained if it precedes a suffix beginning with a consonant:
Base word Vowel suffix Consonant suffix
safe
s afe + er = safer safe + ly = safely
love love + able = lovable love + ly = lovely
arrive arrive + ing = arriving
Exceptions:
true tru + ly = truly
argue argue + ment = argument
knowledge knowledge + able = knowledgeable
courage courage + ous = courageous
notice notice + able = noticeable
Rule 6: ie and ei words

The following jingle, which most of us learnt in primary school, can help you spell words with
the sequence IE or EI
I before E, except after C, or when sounded like A, as in neighbour or weigh.
I before E
niece achieve
chief cashier
Except after C
receive
perceive
deceit
When sounded like A
neighbour
weigh
rein
Exceptions:
either seize
foreign their
leisure weird
Here is a list of words, often used in academic writing, which you should learn to spell. The
spelling rules cannot help you here:
professor existence
separate opportunity
repetition portray
relevant dilemma
acquire appropriate
occasion proceed
committee precede
parallel frustration
develop definite
government usage
environment pursue
parliament peruse
benefitted/-fited possess
accommodate embarrass
Mechanics 629
maintenance pronunciation
rhythm psychological
Application: Spelling
Edit the following student sentences for problems with spelling:
1. If the earth were to become uninhabitable, this would simply mean that the earth would
no longer posess the physical properties and vital factors necessary for human life.
2. Over the years, geographers have realised that industrial pollution, along with natural
enviromental factors, has caused the continuing decrease of the ozone layer.
3. Housing is one of the most basic neccessities and the treat of over-population has
signified its importance.
4. They do not express the way they truely feel.
5. The destruction of forests for land usuage is the main cause of the high levels of carbon
dioxide in the atmosphere.
6. This is possible with the use of satelite technology.
7. Air travel is now an every-day occurance with planes crossing the Atlantic in a matter of
hours.
8. Weapons of mass distruction cause a great deal of concern because, in the wrong hands,
millions could loose their lives.
9. A child should not have to choose, but should have the oppurtunity to spend time with
both parents gaining valueable knowledge from both.
10. Theoreticaly, nuclear energy is a finite resource, but in the real world situation, it is
considered to be an infinite resource.
11. Furthermore, there was a drastic increase in the level of enrollment at community
colleges as opposed to other tertiary institutions.
12. Peers often pressure each other to prove loyalties to one another and this could have a
psycological impact.
•
ASSIGNMENT
Edit the following student essay, correcting any grammatical, spelling and punctuation errors:
As a child I had many beliefs that, as I have matured, has changed. Some of
the most important beliefs that have change as I have grown are in the area
of religion. I use to be a Christian, and I went to church every Sunday with
my grandmother but religion was not central to my life. However, I am now a
Rastafarian and I believe that Rastafari leads me to be positive, explains
the truth, and giving me a sense of happiness and unity with people. My
religion is now central to my life.
I convert from Christianity to Rastafari over two years ago. I was in jail
and I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was on the verge of
either spending the rest of my life in prison or sooner or later I would do
something that would result in my own demise. However, I wake up one morning
and found I had a new cellmate, Jah Wise. He would read the Bible and keep
to himself. One day when we were eating lunch, two people begun fighting and
everybody put on lock down. While we were on lock down, Jah Wise ask me a
question, “Do you believe in a higher power?” He start talking to me like
as a father to a son. He would tell me things out of the Bible that would
make me feel good and positive. For example, Jah Wise would read several
Psalms from the Bible which made me feel some sense of purpose in a positive
direction.
Jah Wise also shed the light of truth on things I did not know before. Jesus,
for example, is often portray with blue eyes, straight hair and white skin,
but the Bible says that Jesus hair was like wool and Jesus skin was the
colour of sand. Furthermore, the Bible forbids eating pork. Both Leviticus
and Deuteronomy states that you are not to eat the flesh of the swine or even
touch it’s carcass, yet christian preachers and practitioners still do. I
also grew up believing that when you walk into a church, you had to bow and
kneel before a statue, but the Bible says that you are not to worship false
idols or pictures. That is why I feel Rastafari is a religion that tells the
truth.
Since I converted to Rastafari, I have became a happier person. I have began

to go to college, I became a husband, I work at a better place, I have more
friends of the right caliber, and Jah is at my side. I try to be righteous
and spread my joy onto others. Even though I may have had beliefs when I was
a child in things like the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, and the Easter bunny;
I outgrew it just like I did Christianity. In life, maturity will change
many beliefs.
Mechanics 631
Suggestions for further reading:

Collins Complete Writing Guide. Glasgow: HarperCollins Publishers, 2009. Print and Web.
Hodge, Merle. The Knots in English: A Manual for Caribbean Users, Ian Randle Publishers, 2012.

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RITING IN

Hazel Simmons-McDonald · Linda Fields ' Peter Roberts

Hazel Simmons-McDonald | Linda Fields | Peter Roberts

© 2012 Hazel Simmons-McDonald, Linda Fields and Peter Roberts

Epub Edition @ July 2013 ISBN: 978-976-637-672-7

NATIONAL LIBRARY OF JAMAICA CATALOGUING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

1. English language – Study and teaching (Higher) – Caribbean Area

Writing in English. Copyright © 2012 by Hazel Simmons-McDonald, Linda Fields and

Cover and Book Design by Ian Randle Publishers

Section One – Introduction to Language and Literacy 1

Section Two – Language Varieties 39

Section Three – Discourse Types 82

Section Four – Strategies for Written Discourse 135

Section Five – Exposition Analysis 224

Section Six – Argument 304

Section Seven – Documenting Research 377

Section Eight – Discourse Across the Academic Disciplines

Section Nine – Usage and Diction 516

Section Ten – Grammar Review 544

Introduction to Language and Literacy

Chapter 2: Notions of Language

Chapter 3: Literacy Needs in Today’s Society

Summary of the Section

Aims of the Section

1. identify and explain the different functions of language;

Some Functions of Language

The Reflective Function

Application – The Reflective Function

- the writer is reflecting on the arrival of summer;

Rahtid! Look the

Application – The Expressive Function

(a) What is meant by King George we a go?

Application – The Communicative Function

(Source - Preamble to a current Insurance policy)

(a) Try to rewrite the passage in normal, everyday English.

Application – The Ritual Function

(c) Say what the following words in the prayer mean:

What does Thy kingdom come mean?

Application – The Identifying Function

(a) informative (b) directive (c) imprecatory.

2. Explain what you think is meant by the term phatic communion.

6. Comment on the functional use of the following:

(c) To the virgins to make much of time

When youth and blood are warmer;

(Source - Robert Herrick, England.)

Tips for Answering Questions and Checking Your Own Work

Question 7: This question has two basic functions – it is a

Proofread and Edit Your Work

3. Check in particular to ensure that:

• your sentences are complete and make sense;

• you have answered all parts of the question.

Language and the brain

“What language do you speak?”

“Human beings have language, but birds do not,”

Language and the Brain

Application – Language and the Brain

(a) that it is controlled and affected by the functioning of the brain;

(b) that it is partially dependent on memory;

Language and Society