Aleksandre Mirzashvili

Emmy Irobi
PSY 121 Interpersonal Communication :: Block N :: DF102
22 November, 2021
Skill Building 10

(part I)
I. (A)When we’re talking about intimate relationships, we also need to mention it’s four dimensions.
First dimension is physical – everything from childhood activities (being fed, hugged, held) to
sexual intimacy is a part of this dimension. Second dimension we have comes from intellectual
sharing – an idea-exchanging process, which is exciting, which develops kind of a powerful and
exciting bond. Intimate idea-sharing is a part of this dimension in my opinion. Third dimension of
intimacy is emotional dimension – an act of exchanging important feeling, personal information. As
I said in previous Skill Building Exercises, disclosure plays a huge role in everything, as well as in
intimate relationships, because Emotion-sharing affects interpersonal communication. At last, we
have Shared activities – a close relationship of persons which creates intimacy and transform the
relationship level from impersonal to an interpersonal communication. For example me and my
friend had our ‘special’ greeting which we developed while studying together after classes.
(B)As a research shows, there is a difference in disclosure levels between men and women. Turns
out, female-female disclosure depth is at the top, then comes male-female and at last is male-male,
as they show less disclosure. As it is shown, women disclose more personal information which
might involve feelings (In my opinion, this happens because of the fact that lots of stereotypes exist
that men should not show feelings or act soft as they are masculine side). Recent study also showed
that based on gender, masculine men are most likely to express caring by helping behaviors and
shared activities. Men are also more likely to show direct affection to others, especially other men.
II.1.Conversation orientation is a subject which shows us how open families are to discussing a
range of topics. There is a high level of conversation orientation and low conversation orientation.
Families with a high conversation orientation view communicating as a way to express affection and
pleasure, and to relax. For my example, I believe my family has a high conversation orientation,
because we’re very open about every subject and it’s very common for us to disclose to each other
as a way to relax, to free our minds. In a low conversation orientation, it’s the opposite – many
topics are not discussed or talked about and overall family is not very open.
2.Conformity orientation – a subject which refers to how strongly a family enforce the uniformity of
attitudes, values and beliefs. For example, in my family on of the most important values we have is
not to lie to each other, which we all respect. In the high-conformity families, some members have
more authority than others. For example, in my family, both my parents have higher authority than
me and my brother.
3.Let’s discuss four family communication patterns: Consensual, Pluralistic, Protective, Laisesez-
faire. Let’s start with consensual pattern – a family which is high in both, conversational, as well as
in conformity orientation is consensual. For example, my brother is the first person in my family to
ever get a tattoo and when he stated that he wanted a tattoo, my family respected his opinion and
agreed. Second type is Pluralistic – families with high conversation orientation and low conformity
orientation are discussed as pluralistic. This is a communication type, where a discussion goes on for
example if a family member wants a piercing. The family members talk freely and overall they’re
open, but in this types of families, a consensus would emerge from discussions based on each others
points of views. Third pattern is Protective – families where communication emphasizes obedience
to authority and the reluctance to share thoughts and feelings. For example, my current romantic
partner’s family is protective, even if she wanted to get a tattoo, she would get a small one which
would be easy to hide or wait years to grow up and get it then. Last one is Laissez-Faire (French
word which means “hands off”) – family type where there is a lack of involvement with each other
and everyone is making their own decisions. Each member is independent and there is no authority
in the family.
III. There are lots of types of friendships where different kinds of communication are involved. To
understand it better, I’m going to define six of the types of friendship. Let’s start with Youthful
versus Mature – youthful friendships are mostly formed for a very few purposes: for meeting one’s
needs with a little bit of empathy. In preschool years for example, the only reason for friendship is to
enjoy. As people mature, they start to expand their friend circle, where they stand with certain stable
qualities in friends: for example, for me, it’s loyalty, trust and self-disclosure. Second one is Long
Term versus Short Term – although in todays world it is less likely that the friendship will end
because of long-distance move, for me personally, I feel like my friendship partners will slowly fade
a way after I move to Lithuania. But as I grow old, I will certainly keep stable friendships too. Third
topic is High-disclosure versus Low Disclosure – for me, I have certain close friends who I disclose
almost everything personal too, but to other close friends, not that much, even though I feel like
they’re very close as well. Now we move on to Relationship Oriented versus Task Oriented –
sometimes people choose friends for activities. For example, My friend used to choose me during
class presentations (on paper) because I could draw well on the paper and while he was doing
research I was drawing. This is more of a task Oriented friendship. However this doesn’t mean that
some relationships don’t overlap in both categories. For example me and my friend Barbara (who is
also an LCC student) have both category friendship, we help each other for tasks, as well as in life.
Now let’s discus High Obligation versus Low Obligation – There’s a difference in terms of
obligation between friends. For example, for my close friend, I wouldn’t hesitate to do what needs to
be done as soon as possible without any requests. This is more of a low obligation type of
friendship. At last we have Frequent Contact versus Occasional Contact – With close friends, I try to
keep in touch fairly usually. As for less closer friends, I have less frequent contact, like I might text
them once in a month or even once in a two months.
IV. (A)Love – “love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies”, I liked this definition of
love, however there is still a lot of debate on the topic, because no one understands what the
connection that we call love, truly is. Let’s look at the work of Robert Sternberg – TRIANGULAR
THEORY OF LOVE – he’s view about love. For me, this theory’s name itself creates a spark in my
mind. So basically love has three components: Intimacy; Passion’ Commitment.
Let’s start with Intimacy – closeness, which defines connection in relationship. Intimate relationship
(sex) plays a very huge role as we see in love, as it is physical disclosure (my opinion). I liked how
Robert described intimacy – the “warm” component of love. Second is Passion – physical attraction
and emotional arousal, often including sexuality. This is the “hot” component of love. At last we
have Commitment – Rational side of love, when both members of the relationship try to maintain
the relationship over time. Love’s “cool” component.
(B) Let’s define couple’s conflict styles: Volatile; Avoidant; Validating. Volatile conflict means
when couples have intense, heated argument sometimes even on very small issues. Those conflicts
are more of a contests to be won as it is defined. Avoidant – this involves ignoring the issues rather
than confronting them by minimizing disagreements and steer clear of sensitive topics. Partners
handle problems quickly and dispassionately. At last we have Validating, were couples openly and
together manage issues/conflicts. In my opinion, this is the best conflict style as the couple talk
through the issue and solve it civilly.
(C)Let’s talk about love languages, a notion which counts as love. Let’s start with Words Of
Affirmation – words of support, a way to let the person know that he/she is a valuable person.
People who use this language, they’re easily offended or hurt by insults. Quality time: this means
being available and present for your partner, giving him/her complete attention. Gifts: people who
measure love with gifts, gifts which don’t need to be expensive at all. It’s main point is appreciation.
Acts of Service – taking out trash, washing dishes ( my example, because whenever I wash dishes
my friends make a joke and call me a “husband” material), taking car to a service center or
something. At last we have Physical touch – my kind of love language (I don’t mean sexual activity
only). Actions such as hugging, neck rub, holding hands mean a lot to me, as I feel the warmth of
the partner which is an essential for me.
Part II
I want to talk about my family communication type which I identify as Pluralistic. I believe I said
we have consensual in the beginning, but now that I think of it and the tattoo situation too, I’m
almost confident that communication type is Pluralistic.
Let’s discuss what happened when my brother said he wanted a tattoo. He said that after days of
thinking (maybe even weeks) about the outcome of his sentence. After he said that, every member
(including me) stated their opinion about his idea, and in the end he got a tattoo without any
negativity, but with a certain compromises (for example my mother went with him because she was
nervous about the sterilization of the machine). Now that I think of my case, I want to get a piercing
(just an idea), but I’m not very freely able to say that. I’m also sure that everyone will state their
opinions and we’ll go through a discussion about this topic as well, but in the end I will get a
piercing if I really want to.
Other than that part, we have a high conversation orientation, as we talk very freely about any topic
including topics like sex, politics and others. We’re fairly close to each other which means that we
share experiences, stories and personal feelings to each other. If I have some troubles for example
(could be financial or personal), the first thing I would to is tell my parents about the matter and try
to get the needed help from them if possible.