Audition Monologues For The

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Audition Monologues for The Music Man

Please be ready to perform one of the following short monologues for


your audition. Choose the one that best reflects your character type.
You do not have to be memorized, but we are looking for a complete
vocal and physical characterization of your choice. Take a risk!

WOMEN (Choose one of the following):

MARION: Professor Hill? Professor of what? At what college do they


give a degree for annoying women on the street like a Saturday night
rowdy at a public dance hall? Even if that should happen to be true,
does that give you the right to follow me around wherever I go?
Another thing, Mister Hill, I’m not as easily mesmerized or hoodwinked
as some people in this town and I think it only fair to warn you that I
have a shelf full of reference books in there which may very well give me
some interesting information about you.

MRS. PAROO: (Irish accent) You’ll have to excuse Winthrop, Professor.


We can’t get him to say three words a day even to us. And if you get him
to play in the band you’ll have St. Michael’s own way with you. But if
anyone can do it, I’ll bet you can. Out of a crowd I’ll pick you for a sod-
carrying, pipe-smokin’, shamrock wearin’, harp-playin’, Mavorneen-
pinchin’, Tara’s hall minstrel-singin’ Irishman! Be-gob and be-jabbers!
Where are ye from, me bye?

EULALIE MACKECKNIE SHINN: (As she rehearses her dance) Lovely,


ladies, lovely. Now turn. Take the body with you. Lovely. Now let’s
have a go with our Grecian Urns… One Grecian Urn… Two Grecian
Urns… and a Fountain… trickle, trickle, trickle. Splendid, ladies. I
predict that our Del Sarte display will be the highlight of the Ice Cream
Sociable. And ladies, remember – don’t make me tell you again. Always
keep your face to the audience.
MEN (Choose one of the following):

HAROLD: Just you keep your eye on me for the next four weeks. It still
takes ten days for the instruments to arrive, but it takes four weeks for
the uniforms. And instruction books! I have a revolutionary new
method called the Think System where you don’t bother with notes.
When the uniforms arrive, they forget everything else – at least long
enough for me to collect and leave. Oh, this is a refined operation, and
I’ve got it timed right down to the last wave of the brakeman’s hand on
the last train out of town

MAYOR SHINN: As mayor of River City I welcome you River Citiziens to


the Fourth of July exercises set up for the indoors here in Madison
Gymnasium, on account of the weather. The members of the School
Board will now present a patriotic tableau. Oh – the members of the
School Board will not present a patriotic tableau, some disagreement
about the costumes, I suppose. Instead, the Wa Tan Ye girls of the local
wigwam of Heeawatha will present a spectacle my wife – in which my
wife, Eulalie Mackecknie Shinn, will take a leading part.

CHARLIE COWELL: All right, if you’re all through I’ll tell you about
Harold Hill. Never saw him in my life but I know this much – he’s giving
every one of us a black eye! After he’s worked a town over, the next
salesman to arrive gets automatically tarred and feathered and rode out
to the city limits on a rail. Because in order to sell band instruments, and
uniforms, and instruction books, he has to guarantee to teach the kids to
play. And to form them kids into a band! With himself as the leader! He
don’t know one note from another, and he can’t tell a bass drum from a
pipe organ!

WINTHROP: (With a lisp) My cornet! Gee thankth, Profethor! Thithter!


Thithter! Ithn’t thith the motht thcrumthyuth tholid gold thing you ever
thaw? I never thought I’d ever thee anything tho thcrumpthyth ath thith
thcrumpthyuth tholid gold thing! Oh thithter!

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