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When the hippos roar, start paddling!

Richard Jackson and his wife spent their honeymoon going down the
Zambezi river in a canoe. “They say this is a good test of a
relationship,’ said ‘Tim as he handed me the paddle. I wasn’t sure that
such a tough challenge was what was needed on a honeymoon, but it
was too late to go back. My wife, Leigh, and I were standing with our
guide, Tim Came, on the banks of the Zambezi near the
Zambia/Botswana border. This was to be the highlight of our
honeymoon: a safari downriver, ending at the point where David
Livingstone first ‘saw the Victoria Falls.
1.
Neither of us had any canoeing experience. Tentatively we set off
downstream, paddling with more enthusiasm than expertise. Soon we
heard the first distant rumblings of what seemed like thunder. ‘Is that
Victoria Falls?’ we inquired nalvely. No,’ said Tim dismissively.
‘That's our first rapid.’ Easy, we thought. Wrong!
2.
The canoe plotted a crazed path as we careered from side to side, our
best efforts seeming only to add to our plight. This was the first of
many rapids, all relatively minor, all enjoyably challenging for tourists
like us.
3.
‘The overnight stops would mean mooring at a deserted island in the
middle of the river, where Tim's willing support team would be
waiting, having erected a camp and got the water warm for our bucket
showers. As the ice slowly melted in the drinks, restaurant-quality
food would appear from a cooker using hot coals. Then people would
begin to relax, and the day's stories would take on epic proportions.
4.
One morning, Tim decided to count the number of hippos we
saw, in an attempt to gauge the population in this part of the
river. Most of the wildlife keeps a cautious distance, and we
were assured that, safe in our canoe, any potential threats
would be more scared of us than we were of them ~ but we had
been warned to give these river giants a wide berth. They'd
normally stay in midstream, watching us with some suspicion,
and greeting our departure with a cacophony of grunts.
5.
‘Tim yelled ‘Paddle!’ and over the next 100 metres an Olympic
runner would have struggled to keep up with us. The hippo
gave up the chase, and although Tim said he was just a
youngster showing off, our opinion was that he had
honeymooners on the menu. That would certainly be the way
we told the story by the time we got home.
6.
At some times of the year, you can even enjoy a natural jacuzzi
in one of the rock pools beside the falls. The travel brochures
say it’s the world’s most exclusive picnic spot. It’s certainly
the ideal place to wind down after a near miss with a hippo.
A. Luckily we could make our mistakes in privacy as, apart
from Tim and another couple, for two days we were alone. Our
only other company was the array of bird and animal life. The
paddling was fairly gentle, and when we got tired, Tim would
lead us to the shore and open a cool-box containing a picnic
lunch.
B. If that was the scariest moment, the most romantic was
undoubtedly our final night's campsite. Livingstone Island is
perched literally on top of Victoria Falls. The safari company
we were with have exclusive access to it: it’s just you, a sheer
drop of a few hundred metres and the continual roar as millions
of litres of water pour over the edge.
C. There was plenty of passing traffic to observe on land as
well - giraffes, hippos, elephants and warthogs, while eagles
soared overhead. We even spotted two rare white rhinos. We
paddled closer to get a better look.
D. We had a four-metre aluminium canoe to ourselves. It was
a small craft for such a mighty river, but quite big enough to
house the odd domestic dispute. Couples had, it seemed, ended
similar trips arguing rather than paddling. But it wasn’t just
newly-weds at risk. Tim assured us that a group of comedians
from North America had failed to see the funny side too.
E. But number 150 had other ideas. As we hugged the bank he
dropped under the water. We expected him to resurface in the
same spot, as the others had done. Instead, there was a sudden
roar and he emerged lunging towards the canoe.
F. Over the next hour or so the noise grew to terrifying
dimensions. By the time we edged around the bend to confront
it, we were convinced we would be faced with mountains of
white water. Instead, despite all the sound and fury, the
Zambezi seemed only slightly ruffled by a line of small rocks.
G. When we'd all heard enough, we slept under canvas, right
next to the river bank. Fortunately, we picked a time of year
largely free of mosquitoes, so our nets and various lotions
remained unused. The sounds of unseen animals were our
nightly lullaby.S

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