SKILLS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

1.0 INTRODUCTION
The concept of interpersonal relationship involves social associations, connections, or affiliations
between two or more people. Interpersonal relationships vary in their degree of intimacy or self-
disclosure, but also in their duration, in their reciprocity and in their power distribution, to name
only a few dimensions. The context can vary from family or kinship relations, friendship,
marriage, relations with associates, work, clubs, neighborhoods, and places of worship.
Relationships may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and form the basis of
social groups and of society as a whole.
The scientific study of relationships evolved during the 1990s and came to be referred to as
“relationship science”i, after research done by Ellen Berscheid and Elaine Hatfield. This field of
study distinguishes itself from anecdotal evidence or from pseudo-experts by basing conclusions
on data and on objective analysis.
Here we are going to walk ourselves through the theory of skills on interpersonal relations,
exposing its tenets and how we can make maximum use of the inexhaustible good qualities that
are embedded with this particular area of study in Psychology.
2.0 GENERAL OVERVIEW OF SOME OF THE INTERPERSONAL SKILLS OR
QUALITIES
Stay positive at the workplace: Do not crib over small things. No individual on this earth is
perfect. Do not always find mistakes in others. Respect your colleagues. It is unprofessional to
misbehave with fellow workers. An employee must behave in an acceptable way at the
workplace. Maintain the decorum of the workplace. Being rude to fellow workers spoils the
relationship among employees. Remember the way you behave speaks a lot about your
education, upbringing and family background. Be polite to everyone irrespective of his/her
designation and income.
An individual needs to have effective communication skills (both oral as well as written) for
a healthy interpersonal relationship at workplace: One must be careful about the pitch and
tone of his voice. Never be too loud or too soft. Being loud sometimes is considered rude and
being too soft signifies lack of interest in the other person. Choice of words is also equally
important. Never say anything which you yourself would not like to listen. Avoid using slangs
and foul words at the workplace. Communicate more through emails as they are considered to be
more reliable as compared to verbal communication.
Be cheerful at the workplace: Smile more often. It works. Make your fellow workers feel
important. Show how much you care for them. If they have done something for you, do
remember to thank them. The good work of employees must be acknowledged and appreciated
in front of all. Being jealous does not help and in turn spoils your relationship with your fellow
workers.
Stand by your colleagues at the times of crisis: Lend a sympathetic ear to their troubles and
help them whenever required. Who says you can’t have friends at the workplace? After all you
spend maximum part of your day here. Wish your colleagues on their birthdays, anniversaries
and important festivals. They would feel special.
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Be honest to others: If any of your colleagues is doing something wrong, tell him on his face. It
is better to be straight forward than spreading unnecessary rumours about someone. Criticizing
and making fun of fellow workers spoil relationships and eventually turn friends into foes.
Be a patient listener: Listen to what the other person has to say. Understand the other person’s
point of view as well before jumping to conclusions. Wrong perceptions of people lead to
unnecessary confusion and misunderstandings. Being trustworthy helps you gain confidence of
fellow workers. Learn to keep things to yourself. An individual’s personal interest ought to take
a backseat at workplace. Your office has nothing to do with your personal life and personal
problems. You have no right to shout on your coworkers. Learn to keep a control on your
emotions.
Be a little more understanding and compromising to avoid unnecessary conflicts at the
workplace: Put yourself in your colleague’s shoes before taking any crucial decisions. Be nice
and kind to everyone. Make sure you are not labeled as “brat”. Be a source of inspiration for
others. Remember it is you and only you who can make a difference to the organization. Behave
as a thorough professional.
3.0 STAGES OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
Interpersonal relationships are dynamic systems that change continuously during their existence.
Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a lifespan, and an end. They tend to grow
and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become closer emotionally, or they
gradually deteriorate as people drift apart, move on with their lives and form new relationships
with others.
It takes time for a relationship to grow and pass the test of time. There are two possibilities in a
relationship:
Possibility - 1: Two people might start a relationship as mere strangers. They get to know each
other slowly and become emotionally and mentally attached to their partners gradually. Such
relationships often lead to lasting commitments where individuals decide to be with each other
until death separates them.
Possibility - 2: Two people might start off well but soon face problems. Troubles in relationship
start when people have different opinions, views and fail to reach to a mutually acceptable
solution. In such cases individuals decide to move on from a relationship for a fresh start.
One of the most influential models of relationship development was proposed by a psychologist
George Levingerii. This model was formulated to describe heterosexual, adult romantic
relationships, but it has been applied to other kinds of interpersonal relations as well. According
to the model, the natural development of a relationship follows five stages:

1. Acquaintance and acquaintanceship – Becoming acquainted depends on previous

relationships, physical proximity, first impressions, and a variety of other factors. If two people
begin to like each other, continued interactions may lead to the next stage, but acquaintance can
continue indefinitely. Another example is the association.

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2. Buildup – During this stage, people begin to trust and care about each other. The need for
intimacy, compatibility and such filtering agents as common background and goals will
influence whether or not interaction continues.
3. Continuation – This stage follows a mutual commitment to quite a strong and close long-term
friendship, romantic relationship, or even marriage. It is generally a long, relatively stable period.
Nevertheless, continued growth and development will occur during this time. Mutual trust is
important for sustaining the relationship.
4. Deterioration – Not all relationships deteriorate, but those that do tend to show signs of
trouble. Boredom, resentment, and dissatisfaction may occur, and individuals may communicate
less and avoid self-disclosure. Loss of trust and betrayals may take place as the downward spiral
continues, eventually ending the relationship. (Alternately, the participants may find some way
to resolve the problems and reestablish trust and belief in others.)
5. Ending – The final stage marks the end of the relationship, either by breakups, death or by
spatial separation for quite some time and severing all existing ties of either friendship or
romantic love.
4.0 DIFFERENT TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
When two individuals feel comfortable in each other’s company and decide to be with each
other, they enter into a relationship.
Individuals who are compatible with each other enter into an interpersonal relationship. People
must gel well for a strong and healthy relationship.
Let us go through the various types of interpersonal relationship:
Friendship
Friendship is an unconditional interpersonal relationship where individuals enter into by their
own sweet will and choice. Friendship is a relationship where there are no formalities and
individuals enjoy each other’s presence. Friendship can be between:
Man and a woman
Man and man
Woman and woman
Must have in friendship:
Transparency is the most essential factor for a stable friendship. Do not hide things from your
friends. Be honest to them. Guide them whenever required. Never give them any wrong
suggestions or advice. Feelings like ego, jealousy, hatred, anger do not exist in friendship. The
entire relationship of friendship revolves around trust and give and take. No relationship can be
one sided and same with friendship. Try to do as much as you can for your friends.

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Love
An interpersonal relationship characterized by passion, intimacy, trust and respect is called love.
Individuals in a romantic relationship are deeply attached to each other and share a special bond.
Must have in a Romantic relationship:
Two partners must trust each other in this relationship. A sense of respect and mutual admiration
is essential. Partners must reciprocate each other’s feelings for the charm to stay in the
relationship for a longer period of time.
Case - 1
Marriage happens when two individuals in love decide to take their relationship to the next level.
Marriage is a kind of formalized relationship where two individuals after knowing each other
well decide to enter the wedlock and stay together life-long through thick and thin.
Keys to a successful marriage:
Understanding
Love
Passion
Intimacy
Respect
Trust
Case - 2
Two individuals might love each other but decide not to get married. They are often called as
boyfriend and girlfriend. They may or may not stay together. If they stay together without
formally getting married, they are said to enter a live in relationship. Individuals staying at far off
places but in a relationship are said to be in a long distance relationship.
Case - 3
Individuals not getting along might decide to end the relationship for a better future.
Platonic Relationship
A relationship between two individuals without any feelings or sexual desire for each other is
called a platonic relationship. In such a relationship, a man and a woman are just friends and do
not mix love with friendship. Platonic relationships might end in romantic relationship with both
the partners developing mutual love and falling for each other.
Romantic relationships generally
Romantic relationships have been defined in countless ways, by writers, philosophers, religions,
scientists, and in the modern day, relationship counselors. Two popular definitions of love are
Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love and Fisher's theory of love. Sternberg defines love in
terms of “intimacy, passion, and commitment, which he claims exist in varying levels in

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different romantic relationships”iii. Fisher defines love as composed of three stages: attraction,
romantic love, and attachment. Romantic relationships may exist between two people of any
gender, or among a group of people.
The single defining quality of a romantic relationship is the presence of love. Love is therefore
equally difficult to define. Hazan and Shaver define love, using Ainsworth's attachment theory,
as comprising proximity, emotional support, self-exploration, and separation distress when
parted from the loved one. Other components commonly agreed to be necessary for love are
physical attraction, similarity,reciprocity, and self-disclosure.
Familial relationships
Parent-child
In ancient times, parent-child relationships were often marked by fear, either of rebellion or
abandonment, resulting in the strict filial roles in, for example, ancient Rome and China iv. Freud
conceived of the Oedipal complex, the supposed obsession that young boys have towards their
mother and the accompanying fear and rivalry with their father, and the Electra complex, in
which the young girl feels that her mother has castrated her and therefore becomes obsessed with
her father. Freud's ideas influenced thought on parent-child relationships for decadesv.
Another early conception of parent-child relationships was that love only existed as a biological
drive for survival and comfort on the child's part. In 1958, however, Harry Harlow’s study
comparing rhesus’ reactions to wire "mothers" and cloth "mothers" demonstrated the depth of
emotion felt by infants.
The study laid the groundwork for Mary Ainsworth’s attachment theory, showing how the
infants used their cloth "mothers" as a secure base from which to explore vi. In a series of studies
using the strange situation, a scenario in which an infant is separated from then reunited with the
parent, Ainsworth defined three styles of parent-child relationship. securely attached infants miss
the parent, greet them happily upon return, and show normal exploration and lack of fear when
the parent is present insecure avoidant infants show little distress upon separation and ignore the
caregiver when they return; they explore little when the parent is present insecure ambivalent
infants are highly distressed by separation, but continue to be distressed upon the parent's return;
these infants also explore little and display fear even when the parent is present some
psychologists have suggested a fourth attachment style, disorganized, so called because the
infants’ behavior appeared disorganized or disorientedvii. Secure attachments are linked to better
social and academic outcomes, greater moral internalization, and less delinquency for children,
and have been found to predict later relationship successviii.
Social media
Social media has changed the face of interpersonal relationships. Romantic interpersonal
relationships are no less impacted. For example, in the United States, Facebook has become an
integral part of the dating process for emerging adultsix. Social media can have both positive and
negative impacts on romantic relationships. For example, supportive social networks have been
linked to more stable relationshipsx. However, social media usage can also facilitate conflict,
jealousy, and passive aggressive behaviors such as spying on a partnerxi. Aside from direct
effects on the development, maintenance, and perception of romantic relationships, excessive
social network usage is linked to jealousy and dissatisfaction in relationshipsxii.

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A growing segment of the population is engaging in purely online dating, sometimes but not
always moving towards traditional face-to-face interactions. These online relationships differ
from face-to-face relationships; for example, self-disclosure may be of primary importance in
developing an online relationship. Conflict management differs, since avoidance is easier and
conflict resolution skills may not develop in the same way. Additionally, the definition of
infidelity is both broadened and narrowed, since physical infidelity becomes easier to conceal but
emotional infidelity (e.g. chatting with more than one online partner) becomes a more serious
offense.[69]
5.0 FACTORS AFFECTING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
Let us go through various factors affecting interpersonal relationship:
Compatibility
Two individuals in a relationship must be compatible with each other. There should be no scope
of conflicts and misunderstandings in a relationship. Individuals from similar backgrounds and
similar goals in life do extremely well in relationships. People with different aims, attitudes,
thought processes find it difficult to adjust and hence fail to carry the relationship to the next
level.
Communication
Communication plays a pivotal role in all types of relationships whether it is personal or
professional. Feelings must be expressed and reciprocated in relationships. Individuals need to
communicate with each other effectively for better understanding. Do not stay mum as it leads to
problems and misunderstandings. Two people in love must interact with each other on a regular
basis through various modes of communication such as telephone, emails, letters (though
exchanging letter is now considered an outdated form of communication). Staying in touch is
essential for the love to grow especially in long distance relationships where individuals can’t
meet quite often. In professional relationships as well, colleagues must communicate well for a
better bonding. Sit with your coworkers and discuss issues face to face to reach to a mutually
acceptable solution. The recipient must understand what the sender intends to communicate and
vice a versa. Clarity of thoughts is essential in relationships.
Honesty
Be honest in relationships. Do not lie or hide things from your partner. Remember every problem
has a solution. Think before you speak. Transparency is important in relationships.
Stay calm
Do not overreact on petty things in relationships. Stay calm. Be a little more adjusting. Be the
first one to say “Sorry”. It will solve half of your problems.

Forgiving

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An individual needs to be a little more forgiving in relationships. Do not drag issues
unnecessarily. Fighting over small issues is foolish and makes the situation all the more worse.
Smile
As they say “Smile is a curve that makes everything staright.” Flash your smile more often. It
works. Take care of your facial expressions while interacting with the other person.
Time
Time plays an important role in relationships. Individuals in love must spend adequate time to
know each other better. Frustrations arise when people do not have time to meet or interact with
each other. Even in organization, individuals must spend quality time with their coworkers to
strengthen the bond amongst themselves. Married couples must take time out for each other for
the charm to stay in relationship forever. Make the other person feel important. Appreciate your
partner whenever he/she does something for you. Praise him/her in front of others. Every
relationship needs time and an individual’s effort to grow. Sit with your partner and try to sort
out the differences amicably. Don’t be too rigid.
6.0 ROLE OF COMMUNICATION IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
Communication is said to be the basis of every interpersonal relationship. In fact effective
communication is the key to a healthy and long lasting relationship. If individuals do not
communicate with each other effectively, problems are bound to come. Communication plays a
pivotal role in reducing misunderstandings and eventually strengthens the bond among
individuals.

A relationship loses its charm if individuals do not express and reciprocate their feelings through
various modes of communication. A healthy interaction is essential for a healthy relationship. It
is not always an individual needs to talk to express his /her feelings. Feelings can be expressed
through nonverbal modes of communication as well. Your body movements, gestures, facial
expressions, hand movements communicate something or the other. Make sure you do not make
faces at anyone. You should look happy and contented for the other person to enjoy your
presence. Do not always look sad and irritated. Eye movements also have an important role to
play in relationships. One can make out whether you are angry, unhappy or frustrated through
your eyes only.
Take care of your tone and pitch as well. Make sure you are not too loud or too soft. Being loud
might hurt the other person. Speak softly in a convincing way. The other person must be able to
understand what you intend to communicate. Choice of words is important in relationships.
Think twice before you speak. Remember one wrong word can change the meaning of an entire
conversation. The other person might misinterpret you and spoil the relationship. Be crisp.
Express your feelings clearly. Do not try to confuse the other person. Being straightforward helps
you in relationships.

An individual must interact with the other person regularly for the relationship to grow and reach
to the next level. Speaking over the phone. SMSing are ways of communicating and staying in

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touch especially in long distance relationships where individuals hardly meet. Be polite. Never
ever shout on your partner even if he has done something wrong. Discuss issues and try to sort
out your differences amicably. Abusing, fighting, criticizing spoil the relationship and in adverse
cases might end it as well. Being rude is a crime in relationships.
Try to understand the other person’s point of view as well. Be a patient listener. Unless you
listen carefully, you will never be able to communicate effectively. Individuals can also
communicate through emails. If you do not get the time to call your partner regularly, drop
him/her a mail. The other person would feel happy and important. Emails are also an effective
mode of communication at workplace. For better relations at workplace, try to communicate
through written modes of communication. Be careful about the mail body and make sure they are
self-explanatory. Using capital letters in emails is considered to be rude and loud. Do not share
any information with any of your fellow workers verbally. Mark him a mail and do keep your
Boss in the loop. All the related employees must be marked a cc as well. If discussed orally, the
other person might refuse later on, creating problems for you.
7.0 HOW TO IMPROVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP AT WORKPLACE AND
OTHER PLACES!
An association between individuals working together in the same organization is called
interpersonal relationship. An individual spends around seven to eight hours at his workplace and
it is practically not possible for him to work all alone. One needs people to talk to and discuss
various issues at the workplace. Research says productivity increases manifold when individuals
work in groups as compared to an individual working alone.
Employees must get along well for a healthy ambience at the workplace. Let us go through
various ways of improving interpersonal relationships at workplace:
Employees must communicate with each other effectively for a healthy relationship. Remember
a problem shared is a problem halved.
Interact with your coworkers more often. Discussions must be on an open platform where every
individual has the liberty to express his/her views and opinions. Written mode of communication
is one of the effective ways of communicating at the workplace. Make sure your emails are self-
explanatory and do mark a cc to all related employees. Ignoring any of your co-workers might
hurt him and spoil your relationship with the individual concerned. Avoid hiding things from
your fellow workers.
Even employees from a different team can be your friends. Talk to them. Greet them with a
smile and a “Hi” whenever you meet them. An individual must not take things to heart at
workplace.
Team leaders and supervisors should conduct morning meetings with their team members. Do
not make the meeting too formal. The employees should be allowed to bring their coffee mugs.
Let them interact with each other. Morning meetings go a long way in breaking the ice among
employees and improving interpersonal relationships at workplace.
Do not favour any employee just because he is your relative or you know him personally.
Favoritism spoils the relationship between superiors and subordinates.

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Take your team out for lunch, picnics or get together once in a while. Let the employees bring
their families as well. Ask your team members to exchange contact numbers amongst themselves
for them to interact with each other even after work.
Greet your colleagues on their birthdays or anniversaries. Send them a nice e-card and do ask for
a treat. Such small initiatives go a long way in strengthening the bond among fellow workers.
Important festivals must be celebrated at workplace for employees to come closer to each other.
Individuals should be motivated to work in teams. Work must be equally allocated to team
members to expect the best out of them. No employee should be overburdened. People working
in teams are friendlier and adjust with each other better.
One needs to be a little more adjusting and compromising at the workplace. Don’t expect
everything to be done just the way you like it. You will have all types of people around. Avoid
fighting over petty things. Do not always look at the negative side of things. Accept people as
they are. It is essential to look at the positive side of an individual. Being flexible at work always
helps.
Avoid being jealous. Leave your ego behind the moment you enter the workplace. Appreciate if
someone has performed exceptionally well. Remember only hard work and nothing else pays in
the long run.
Stand by your colleagues when needed. It is only you who can create a healthy atmosphere at the
workplace.
8.0 IMPORTANCE OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP AT WORKPLACE
Interpersonal relationship refers to a strong association among individuals working together in
the same organization. Employees working together ought to share a special bond for them to
deliver their level best. It is essential for individuals to be honest with each other for a healthy
interpersonal relationship and eventually positive ambience at the workplace. Why interpersonal
relationship at workplace? Why do employees need to be cordial to each other?
Let us go through the importance of interpersonal relationship at workplace. An individual
spends around eight to nine hours in his organization and it is practically not possible for him to
work all alone. Human beings are not machines who can work at a stretch. We need people to
talk to and share our feelings. Imagine yourself working in an organization with no friends
around!!!!!!!!We are social animals and we need friends around. An individual working in
isolation is more prone to stress and anxiety. They hardly enjoy their work and attend office just
for the sake of it. Individuals working alone find their job monotonous. It is essential to have
trustworthy fellow workers around with whom one can share all his secrets without the fear of
them getting leaked. We must have friends at the workplace who can give us honest feedback.
A single brain alone can’t take all decisions alone. We need people to discuss various issues,
evaluate pros and cons and reach to solutions benefiting not only the employees but also the
organization on the whole. Employees can brainstorm together and reach to better ideas and
strategies. Strategies must be discussed on an open platform where every individual has the
liberty to express his/her views. Employees must be called for meetings at least once in a week to
promote open communication. Interaction on a regular basis is important for healthy relationship.

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Interpersonal relationship has a direct effect on the organization culture. Misunderstandings and
confusions lead to negativity at the workplace. Conflicts lead you nowhere and in turn spoil the
work environment.
We need people around who can appreciate our hard work and motivate us from time to time. It
is essential to have some trustworthy coworkers at the workplace who not only appreciate us
when we do some good work but also tell us our mistakes. A pat on the back goes a long way in
extracting the best out of individuals. One needs to have people at the workplace who are more
like mentors than mere colleagues.
It always pays to have individuals around who really care for us. We need colleagues to fall back
on at the times of crisis. If you do not talk to anyone at the workplace, no one would come to
your help when you actually need them.
An individual needs to get along with fellow workers to complete assignments within the
stipulated time frame. An Individual working all alone is overburdened and never finishes tasks
within deadlines. Support of fellow workers is important. You just can’t do everything on your
own. Roles and responsibilities must be delegated as per specialization, educational qualification
and interests of employees. An individual needs help of his fellow workers to complete
assignments on time and for better results.
9.0 TIPS TO IMPROVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS AT WORKPLACE
Employees must get along well for a positive and healthy ambience at the workplace.
Let us go through some tips to improve interpersonal relationship at workplace.
Do not treat office as your home. There is a certain way of behaving at the workplace. It is
essential to be professional at work. Never misbehave with any of your colleagues. Legpulling,
criticism, backbiting are a strict no. It is better to avoid someone you don’t like rather than
fighting or arguing with him/her. Your office colleagues can be your friends as well but one must
know where to draw the line. Too much of friendship is harmful and spoils relationship among
employees.
An individual should not interfere in his colleague’s work. Superiors must formulate specific
KRAs for all the employees and make sure job responsibilities do not overlap. Overlapping of
job responsibility leads to employees interfering in each other’s tasks and eventually fighting
over small issues. One should be concerned only with his work rather than trying to find out
what the other employee is up to.
Give space to your fellow workers. Giving space in fact is essential in all relationships.
Overhearing anyone else’s personal conversation is strictly unprofessional. An employee must
not open envelopes, couriers or letters not meant for him. Such practices lead to severe
displeasure among employees and eventually spoil relationships.
Do not spread baseless rumors at workplace. Even if you know something about someone, learn
to keep things to yourself. Discuss it with the individual concerned in private rather than
publicizing the whole thing. Organization has nothing to do with anyone’s private matters.
Pass on correct information to others. If your superior has asked you to share some information
with any of your colleagues, make sure it is shared in its desired form. Data tampering and

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playing with information spoil relationships among colleagues and lead to confusions at the
workplace.
Do not share all your secrets with your coworkers. You never know when they might misuse
them. Even if you do, make sure you are doing it with someone you trust blindly.
Leave your ego behind. Do not bring your personal tensions to work. Think before you speak.
Making fun of colleagues is something which is not at all expected out of a professional.
A team leader should not scold any of his team members in front of others. It might insult
him/her. Call the individual concerned either to your cabin or conference room. Avoid
comparisons among team members. The employees must be strictly judged according to their
work and nothing else. Employees doing well should be suitably rewarded.
Stay away from nasty politics at workplace. Do not try to harm anyone. It is absolutely okay to
appreciate someone who has done something exceptionally well. Avoid being jealous. It will
harm you in the long run. There should be healthy competition among the employees for a
healthy environment at the workplace.
10.0 HOW TO MANAGE CONFLICTS IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP AT
WORKPLACE
Conflicts play an important role in spoiling relationship among employees at the workplace and
must be controlled at the initial stages to expect the best out of individuals.
For individuals, organization should always come first and all other personal interests must take
a backseat. Fighting with fellow workers on petty issues is childish. Be professional. Do not take
things to heart at the workplace as no one is working for himself or herself. You might not like
someone else’s style of working but remember ultimately the organization must benefit out of it.
An individual ought to respect his colleagues. Treat your fellow workers as members of your
extended family. Ignoring minor issues helps in avoiding conflicts in interpersonal relationship.
Try to understand your colleague’s point of view as well.
Avoid lobbying at the workplace. An individual should keep his personal and professional life
separate. Do not favour anyone just because you like the individual concerned or you know him
personally. At work, every employee irrespective of his family background and relation with the
management needs to be treated as one. Ignoring or bad mouthing someone just because you do
not like him is simply not acceptable. Such things give rise to unnecessary stress and eventually
employees fight and spoil relationships amongst themselves. You need people around who can
give you suggestions and help you when required. You can’t work alone.
Remember there is a difference between being aggressive and rude. A sense of competition is
essential among employees but make sure you adopt healthy means to prove yourself. Jealousy,
backbiting, criticism, leg pulling give rise to disagreements among individuals and spoil their
relationships.
Think before you speak. Do not hurt anyone. There are several other ways to express your
displeasure at work. Do not overreact at workplace. Stay calm and composed.

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Avoid being arrogant. Be polite to everyone. Greet people and do enquire about their wellbeing.
A simple smile goes a long way in managing conflicts and strengthening interpersonal
relationships at workplace.
Evaluate issues carefully. Do not jump to conclusions. It is always better to sort out differences
amicably rather than fighting and spoiling relationships. Voice your concerns in an open
platform and try to reach to a conclusion mutually acceptable to all. Do not always see your own
personal interests
Learn to control your emotions.
Communicating effectively reduces the chances of errors and eventually manages conflicts
amongst employees at the workplace.

11.0 INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT

Every relationship needs time to grow. One needs time to come really close to someone and trust
him/her. Miracles do not happen in a single day. One needs to be patient enough to understand
the other person for the relationship to grow and reach to the next level. Various models have
been proposed in the field of interpersonal relationship development. All the models suggest how
relationship grows between friends, partners, couples, colleagues and so on.
Let us go through the models one by one:
Knapp’s Relationship Escalation Model
According to Knapp’s relationship escalation model, every relationship goes through the
following stages:
Every relationship begins with a stage where two individuals not knowing each other before
meet and instantly get attracted towards each other. In this stage, both the participants try their
level best to create an everlasting first impression on the other person. Individuals show their
best side to mark the beginning of a relationship. In this stage physical appearance, grooming,
manners, etiquette play an essential role as individuals do not know each other much.
In the second stage individuals try to know each other more. They share their likes and dislikes
and also try to find out about the other person’s interests. This stage is characterized by extensive
meetings and phone calls so that individuals get to check their compatibility level.
Case 1 - Individuals are not compatible with each other.
Result - Individuals do not take the relationship forward and decide to end it for a better future.
Case - 2 Individuals are compatible with each other
Result - Individuals decide to continue the relationship
In the third stage, individuals make regular efforts to strengthen their relationship. People make
commitments and prepare themselves for a long term relationship.
The fourth stage begins when individuals in a relationship start doing things together. They are
often seen together shopping, dining, and going for movies and so on.
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When individuals are really sure about their relationship, they decide to stay together forever.
Individuals enter the wedlock in the fifth stage.
What is important for relationship Development?
Effective communication between partners - It is important for individuals to stay in touch on a
regular basis.
Trust
Care
Loyalty
Understanding
Respect for each other
A relationship does not survive if any of the above is missing.
Knapp’s Relationship Termination Model
A relationship ends when individuals do not communicate with each other effectively.
Misunderstandings and confusions arise leading to unnecessary conflicts.
Remember there is no place for ego and jealousy in relationships. One needs to be forgiving for
the relationship to grow. The stagnating stage is often characterized by individuals avoiding each
other and not interacting much.
Individuals are no longer interested in each other and physical intimacy also decreases. People
decide to move on from the relationship and opt for mutual separation.
Duck’s Relationship Filtering Model
As the name suggests, Duck’s relationship filtering model consists of many filters, a relationship
has to pass through.
Distance
It is convenient for individuals to start a relationship with someone who stays close by or works
with him/her. Distance does matter in relationships. People staying far off often find it difficult
to meet and eventually their relationship suffers. This explains why long distance relationships
are not very successful.
Perception
What one thinks about the other person also affects relationship. Individuals might make wrong
perception towards someone and not decide to continue the relationship.
Physical appearance
How individuals look, speak and present themselves also affect the relationship. Individuals tend
to get attracted towards someone who is charming and confident.
Theories of Interpersonal Relationship

13
Interpersonal relationship refers to a strong association amongst individuals with similar tastes,
aspirations and interests in life. It is essential for individuals to share a healthy relationship with
each other not only for quicker delivery of results but also for a positive ambience at the
workplace.
Let us go through the theories of interpersonal relationship development in detail:
Social Exchange Theory
Social Exchange Theory was proposed by George Casper Homans in the year 1958.
According to Social Exchange Theory “give and take” forms the basis of almost all relationships
though their proportions might vary as per the intensity of the relationship.
In a relationship, every individual has expectations from his/her partner. A relationship without
expectations is meaningless. According to Social Exchange theory feelings and emotions ought
to be reciprocated for a successful and long lasting relationship. Relationships can never be one
sided. An individual invests his time and energy in relationships only when he gets something
out of it.
There are relationships where an individual receives less than he gives. This leads to situations
where individual starts comparing his relationship with others.
Comparisons sometimes can be really dangerous as it stops individuals from putting their best in
relationships. Don’t always think that you would have a better relationship with someone else.
Understand your partner and do as much as you can for him/her. Don’t always expect the other
person to do things first. Take initiative on your own and value partner.
Uncertainty Reductions Theory
Both Charles R. Berger and Richard J. Calabrese proposed Uncertainty Reductions Theory to
explain the relationship between individuals who do not know each other much or are complete
strangers.
According to Uncertainty Reductions Theory, two unknown individuals meeting for the first
time go through various stages to reduce the level of uncertainty between them and come closer
to each other. Strangers must communicate well to know each other better and find out their
compatibility levelFollowing are the stages individuals go through to reduce the level of
uncertainty in relationships.
Entry Stage
The entry stage is characterized by two individuals trying to know each other better.
Each one tries to find out the other person’s background, family members, educational
qualification, interests, hobbies and so on. Each one discloses his/her likes and dislikes to
strengthen the bond and take the relationship to the next level.
Personal Stage
In the second stage or the personal stage, individuals try to find out more about their partner’s
attitude and beliefs. Individuals try to know more about the other person’s ethics, values,

14
behaviour and nature on the whole. Individuals who are no longer strangers learn more about
each other’s personality traits in the personal stage.
The Exit Stage
The Personal Stage decides the fate of the relationship. Individuals comfortable in each other’s
company decide to enter into long term commitments i.e. either formally get married or stay
together forever. Not all relationships flower into marriages. Individuals failing to understand
and adjust with each other decide to mutually end their relationship for a better future. The exit
stage is characterized by individuals moving out of relationships in search of a more compatible
partner.
Interpersonal Relationship Model
Interpersonal Relationship model explains an individual’s outlook towards relationship and how
one’s perception changes in due course.
Two people come together, like each other and enter into a relationship.
According to interpersonal relationship model, two directional components go a long way in
creating an individual’s perception about relationships.
They are as follows:
Other to Self: The component “other to self” represents an individual’s awareness of his
partner’s attitude, thoughts and beliefs towards himself. The other to self-component is more to
do with the awareness of an individual as to how his/her partner treats him/her.
Self to Other: The “self to other” component signifies an individual’s awareness of his own
behaviour, attitude towards his/her partner. How an individual treats the other person in
relationship is denoted by self to other component.
Interpersonal Relationship Model describes above two directional components as per following
criteria:
Assistive Polarity
Assistive Polarity further consists of the following:
Assistive Attitude: Assistive attitude consists of actions and behaviour which are in favour of the
other person.
Resistive Attitude: Resistive attitude consists of actions and behaviour of an individual which are
against the recipient and tend to make the other person weak.
Level of Intentionality: Level of intentionality further consists of following three levels:
Hypo telic Level of intention: Sometimes an individual is unaware of the other person’s
aspirations and intentions and unknowingly comes in his/her way without realizing its harm.
Hypo telic level signifies resistance to other person’s aspirations unknowingly.
Telic or Meta telic Level of Intention: There are several cases where individuals deliberately stop
the other person from doing something clearly knowing how much it would affect the other

15
person. An individual intentionally obstructing aspirations of an individual comes under telic or
Meta telic level of intention.
Degree of Autonomy: Degrees of autonomy are further classified into the following:
According to interpersonal relationship model, the degree of assistance and obstruction arise out
of following:
Autonomous Agency: Autonomous agency comes into picture when both resistance as well as
acceptances arises out of either of the two partner’s personal wishes, choices and interests. None
of the partners is influenced by a third party.
Proxy Agency: Proxy agency comes into play when resistances and acceptances are due to an
external party often called the third party. Here the third party influences the decisions of the two
individuals in relationship often called as Targets.

12.0 ROLE OF MANAGERS IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

Individuals working together in the same organization tend to come closer to each other.
Interpersonal relationship refers to a strong association among employees with similar taste and
mindset.
Let us go through the role of managers in interpersonal relationship.
A team manager is just like captain of the ship who has the responsibility of taking all his crew
members along. For a team leader, his team is just his baby and he needs to take care of each and
every team member. Never be partial to anyone. Avoid favouritism towards employees.
Interact with your team members on a regular basis. Make sure you speak to everyone, else
individuals might feel ignored. Call your team for meetings at least twice in a week. Enquire
about their well-being. Ensure if everything is going well with them. This way employee feels
happy and shares a healthy relationship with superiors. Interaction is essential as it helps break
ice among people.
Avoid comparisons among your team members. Do not shout on any of your employees in
public. Call the individual concerned to your cabin and make him realize his /her mistakes
without being rude. Speak to your team members directly rather than passing on messages
through someone as information might not reach in its desired form creating misunderstandings
and eventually spoiling relationships.
Remember a manager’s role is not just to sit in closed cabins for the whole day. Sit with your
team members and help them plan their day. Help them in their day to day work.
Managers must be accessible to their team members. Problems start when employees find it
difficult to get in touch with their bosses. Do keep in tough with them through smses if not meet
them regularly. Lend a sympathetic ear to their problems. Your team members must be able to
fall back on you at times of crisis.

16
Intervene immediately in case of conflicts among your subordinates. Your team members might
fight over petty issues but it is your responsibility to guide them and reduce the chances of a
major conflict. Do not ignore even the minor issues. One problem left unattended can become a
major concern later.
Sit with individuals, counsel them and motivate them to discuss issues and reach to something
which would benefit not only the employees but also the organization on the whole.
Ask your team members to have their lunch together. You can also join them once in a while.
Boss’s presence does make a difference. Take them out for picnics and small get together. Such
informal meetings not only bring employees closer to each other but also to their superiors.
Motivate them to celebrate important festivals at workplace. Delegate responsibilities and ask
them to take charge individually. This way they start believing in you and the organization and
eventually share a healthy relationship with all.
Employees performing well must be appreciated and suitably rewarded for them to deliver
results everytime. Do not be harsh to others who did not perform well this time. Being rude to
them will not solve any of your problems; rather individuals would go against you.

13.0 EVALUATION AND CONCLUSION

Skills on interpersonal relationship as we have seen in this our copious discussion can never be
overemphasized. What is man without his relationship and comingling with his fellow men? No
one is an island whole and entire. That is why it becomes very imperative to learn how to relate
and sustain our relationship with people. We have seen above that there are countless of things
that destroy our relationship with others and on the other hand we were able as well to provide
thought provoking things that will help us to, maintain, sustain and nourish our relationship with
people.

17
ENDNOTES

18
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Fox J, Warber KM (January 2013). "Romantic relationship development in the age of Facebook: an exploratory
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Holmes B (October 2007). "In search of my "one and only"; Romance-related media and beliefs in romantic
relationship destiny". Electronic Journal of Communication. 17 (3/4).

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Merkle ER, Richardson RA (2000). "Digital Dating and Virtual Relating: Conceptualizing Computer Mediated Romantic
Relationships". Family Relations. 49 (2): 187–192. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2000.00187.x.
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