Module 5: enables it better to face the challenges of life &

The Christian Vocation of Marriage history

Topic 1: Marriage as a Covenant hence, every family, despite its weaknesses, can
become a light in the darkness of the world
covenant: simply means: agreement Nazareth teaches:
Biblically: God’s sacred promise/vow of • meaning of family life as a loving
faithfulness & fidelity to His People (in the OT: communion
Israel) • the family’s simple & austere beauty
an agreement of belongingness rather than • the family’s sacred & inviolable character
possession: • the sweetness & irreplaceability of family
“I will be your God and you will be my people” (cf training
Ex 6:7) its fundamental & incomparable role in social order
”I am letting myself be yours as you would allow
yourself to be mine” Gaudium et Spes:
marriage: a community of life & love (cf. 48)
JESUS RESTORES AND FULFILS GOD’S PLAN love is at the center of the family
the true love of husband & wife (49):
Marriage is “a gift” from the Lord (1 Cor 7:7) • involves mutual self-giving—a balance (or better
must be taken care of, cherished, valued & yet an outdoing of the other) in the give & take
safeguarded relationship
this divine gift includes human sexuality • includes & integrates the sexual & affective
Jesus speaks of God’s original plan for man & dimensions—accepts & understands the
woman
feelings & urges of the other
reaffirms their indissoluble union (Mt 19:8)
according to God’s plan (cf. 48-49)
the indissolubility of marriage is not a ‘yoke’—a
sort of burden to to carry or a pressure to keep the spouses must be grounded in Christ
Christ makes himself present to the spouses in the
indissolubity is a ‘gift’ since God’s indulgent sacrament of marriage (48) & remains with them
love always accompanies our human journey, through His incarnation, he assumed human love,
especially that of husband & wife purified it & brought it to fulfilment

God’s grace allows us to experience healing & through His incarnation, Christ assumed human love,
transformation in our relationships purified it & brought it to fulfilment
Gospels: clearly present: Jesus’ example: Christian marriage is not just between the two of you
proclaiming: but the three of you—the couples and God
marriage as the fullness of revelation since it fully through His (Holy) Spirit, Jesus gives spouses the
reveals God’s original plan (cf. Mt 19:3) capacity to live that love, permeate every part of their
lives with faith, hope & charity
marriage was redeemed by Christ (cf. Eph 5:21-
32) & restored in the image of the Holy Trinity, the
Bl. Paul VI (Humanae Vitae) Married love requires
mystery of the eternal flow of true love
husband and wife to be fully aware of their obligations
in this mystery one is distinct from the other yet
the same, and they are eternally intertwined in one in the matter of responsible parenthood, which requires
flowing relationship husband & wife (No. 10)
marriage & the family is given the grace to bear • to keep a right order of priorities
witness to the love of God & to live the life of • to recognize their duties towards God,
communion—fully & intimately intertwined as one themselves, their families & human society
true mercy restores the covenant through a • St. John Paul II (Letter to Families Gratissimam
faithfulness that forgives unfaithfulness & betrayal Sane & Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris
we become conscious of our sin through our Consortio)
encounter & experience of Jesus’ gratuitous love
• men & women are called to love
Holy Family of Nazareth: lived: the covenant of love
& fidelity • spouses, in their mutual love, receive the gift
illuminates the principle that gives shape to every of the Spirit of Christ & live their call to holiness
family
 • time spent enjoyably together builds &
strengthens the relationship
Pope Benedict XVI (Encyclical Deus Caritas Est)
• conversely, the lack of companionship in a
the truth of the love of man & woman is fully
marriage can produce deep loneliness
illuminated only in the love of the crucified Christ (cf.
No. 2) participation in novel & exciting activities together
give couples greater satisfaction in their relationships
marriage based on an exclusive & definitive love
becomes an icon of the relationship between God & His trying new, jointly chosen recreational activities
people, and vice versa together help sustain & increase romance

God’s way of loving becomes the measure of human importance of participating together in recreational
love (11) activities they both enjoy

(Encyclical Caritas in Veritate) love is an important partnership: the association of individuals in a

principle of life in society (cf. 44), a place where we cooperative relationship for a specific purpose
learn the experience of the common good
in true partnership, both spouses can
Topic 2. Marriage as a Call to Unity
• express themselves without fear of judgment
Gen 2: 18…a helper suited to him
• work together towards common goals
does not imply subordination (someone lower in
• have equal influence over important decisions
rank)
• are able to grow emotionally, psychologically &
suggests a profound affinity between the man & the
spiritually as a result of their happy marriage
woman & a supportive & nurturing relationship
What it means to be true partners
Gen 2:23…bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh…shall be
called woman for out of man this one has been taken. 1. Equal influence over important decisions
man’s recognition of his affinity with the woman God means: an equal balance of power & influence in
has brought him decision making
the woman is made from his very self no one wants to be in relationship where their
opinions are constantly ignored or their decisions
Gen 2:24…the two of them become one body (literally,
constantly overruled
“one flesh”)
both spouses should be able to express their thoughts
shows how the covenant of marriage establishes
& opinions freely without fear of being shut down
kinship bonds of the first rank between the partners
What it means to be true partners, cont’d…
she is not his blood relative, but marriage makes her
more than one 2.Equal commitment to the relationship
companionship:  feeling of fellowship or friendship, means: both parties are equally committed to the
togetherness, solidarity, intimacy marriage
good companions… must have a similar amount of emotional investment
in the relationship & both want it to succeed
…enjoy spending time together in conversation &
recreational activities if there is a problem in the marriage, they both work
hard to find a solution
…look forward to the next time they will be together,
rather than dread it

in marriage:
 page” and “going to the next chapter” of one’s life, but
certainly is not
not actually good for the kids (psychological statistics
3.Common goals prove this, though there may be a very few exceptions)
—children are actually devastated by the separation of
means: your spouse is both your life partner & your parents, worse they are victims
partner in personal growth & self-actualization • not easy to take care (and bring up children)
you have to deal with each one differently since they
you motivate each other to grow & become better are different & unique individuals
persons
how traditional marriage vows are connected to what
working on your goals together strengthens your
Jordan Peterson is saying
marriage • all marriage vows are a commitment of a
What it means to be true partners, cont’d… lifetime
4.Equal personal responsibility • the commitment deals with both dealing with
means: both parties take equal responsibility for the each other & together dealing with what life
problems in the marriage would offer
the spouses do not waste time blaming each other or • the commitment is not easy because it has to
going over what should/ would/could have happened face challenges & trials
they admit their mistakes & focus on coming up with • the same commitment is a challenge to grow &
possible solutions become a better human being and there is no
5.Honesty giving up on that that is why the married couple
means: true partners are always honest with each is tied to each other
other • as said in an earlier topic, the indissolubility of
they know lying to protect the other person’s feelings marriage must not be seen as a yoke or a
rarely ends well burden but rather a challenge to grow from
they are not brutally honest with each other; they are what is—marriage is a dynamic relationship, the
just kind & honest at the same time growth of persons are constant to it
There is nothing better in marriage than having a true • being tied to another is not to be strangled by
life partner. the other but a commitment to stay with each
other no matter what and when a couple stays
some realities about marriage Jordan Peterson puts to do this, there is growth in both of them
forth
• in marriage, you are stuck with the other person Topic 2.2 Marriage as a Call to Unity
for the rest of your life (an average of 35-40
years) Amoris Laetitia
reason why marriage is supposed to be a sacred act 80. Marriage is firstly an “intimate partnership of life
being stuck with another person can be miserable— and love” (Gaudium et Spes, 48) which is a good for the
conflicts, confrontation, clash of personalities can arise spouses themselves,(Cf. Code of Canon Law, c. 1055 §
marriage tells you not to run away but rather learn to 1) while sexuality is “ordered to the conjugal love of
fix things—try hard to solve whatever problems you man and woman”.(Catechism of the Catholic Church,
may encounter 2360)  It follows that “spouses to whom God has not
• divorce fragments a person & a family—a granted children can have a conjugal life full of
matter of running away meaning, in both human and Christian terms”.(Ibid.,
expensive—you go through a judicial process; not just 1654)
a separation but entails obligations (alimonies &
custody of children) Can companionship and partnership be the end/goal of
marriage? Yes, couples ought to enjoy each other &
divorce does not provide continuity of narrative— enjoy life together
actually forces spouses and much more the children (if
they have any) to “jump into another story book,”
which a lot of people think of as just a “turning of a
 trust, openness & care: the basic & proper attitudes of
true loving
assurance of material & spiritual welfare of the family:
a joint & cooperative venture to see the well-being of
each member of the family
Are companionship and partnership enough an
end/goal of marriage? No Christian view: (Amoris Laetitia, 80) in summary…
80. Nonetheless, the conjugal union is ordered to why companionship and partnership are not enough an
procreation “by its very nature”(Gaudium et Spes, 48) end/goal of marriage
The child who is born “does not come from outside as ordered to procreation by nature: the conjugal union is
something added on to the mutual love of the spouses, consummated though a sexual union brought about by
but springs from the very heart of that mutual giving, the urges of human nature that tends towards the
as its fruit and fulfilment”.(Catechism of the Catholic production of offspring
Church, 2366)  He or she does not appear at the end of child: springs from the very heart of mutual giving as a
a process, but is present from the beginning of love as fruit & fulfillment of conjugal love
an essential feature, one that cannot be denied without openness to fruitfulness: the proper attitude that the
disfiguring that love itself. From the outset, love refuses husband & wife must have in their genital act
every impulse to close in on itself; it is open to a
fruitfulness that draws it beyond itself. Hence no genital Liberative Call of Marriage
act of husband and wife can refuse this meaning. Marriage calls a man & a woman to live a lifetime
(Humanae Vitae, 488-489 even when for various together…
reasons it may not always in fact beget a new life. To live a lifetime together means to be the other’s
companion in that span of time given to them…
Christian view: (Amoris Laetitia, 80) in summary… To be the other’s companion means being…
why companionship & partnership can be the goal/end …the other’s best friend
of marriage …there in the best and worst of times
intimate partnership of life & love: marriage brings …able to fill the emptiness or lack of the other
couples into a very strong bond of union that invites …able to help the other grow as a human person
them to share the stories of life and the experiences of …ready to build a home and a family with the other
love together …always simply there for the other

a good of the spouses themselves: marriage challenges The liberative call & challenge of marriage is to grow in
couples to go through everything in life accompanying companionship, communion & procreation
& supporting each other’s growth & development as a
person God the Creator made man & woman share in the work
of his creation and, at the same time, made them
spouses have a meaningful conjugal life (even if they instruments of his love, entrusting to them the
are not granted children): married couples are to find responsibility for the future of mankind, through the
the significance & purpose of their existence in a joint transmission of human life”
journey through life God the Creator made man and woman
• sharers in the work of creation : empowered by
first purpose of marriage: God to participate in His work and continue it
Unitive purpose: refers to the mutual good of the • instruments of His love: made to be channels of
husband & the wife God’s self-giving, generosity and kindness
mutual good of the husband & the wife • entrusted with the responsibility for the future
mutual rights & obligations of spouses: of mankind, through the transmission of human
solidarity in needs of body & soul: their dedication & life—given the noble role of improving the life
devotion to provide & support each other in physical, of one another
material & spiritual needs how husband & wife fulfill their being image & likeness
common house, table, bed, planning, finances & of God
action: the attitude of not owning something for oneself
but that of sharing everything in life