So I'm A Spider, So What Vol. 9
So I'm A Spider, So What Vol. 9
So I'm A Spider, So What Vol. 9
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E3-20200714-JV-NF-ORI
Contents
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Title Page
Copyright
Zerobooks IOS
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“Humans love to say that boredom kills, but it’s even worse for gods, you
know.”
Such a level voice.
In contrast to that emotionless tone, the bald old man on the screen stomps
angrily.
It’s so surreal to see the stoic-looking old-timer stomping around and the
girl watching him expressionlessly that I can’t even laugh.
Maybe she’s trying to use the movement on the screen to express her
inner irritation, but if anything, it just makes her seem even weirder.
“Being bored is bad enough for humans, but gods live far longer than
mortals, so finding ways to kill time is especially important for us.”
She keeps fiddling with the controller as she speaks, moving the bald guy
around on the screen.
The hairless adventurer kills the monsters that appear one after another.
She makes it look effortless. Because her character isn’t even taking any
damage, one might assume this game is easy, but if I remember correctly, it
was so insanely difficult that it gave even the most hard-core gamers a run for
their money.
Just how many hours has she sunk into this game?
She wasn’t kidding about how desperate she was to avoid being bored.
“But as you can see, if I set my mind to it, I can do just about anything
well.”
On the screen, the bald guy beats the boss monster without taking a point
of damage.
“I’m good at everything. As long as I want to be.”
I bet she really does mean everything, not just video games.
If she wanted to, she really could do just about anything.
“Whew.”
“Good work, my lord.”
When I returned to my office and let slip a sigh, my secretary offered me
words of praise.
“Thank you. I cannot remember when last I was so exhausted.”
The only reason I complain thus is that there is no one else in the room
but my secretary, who has worked at my side for many years.
“However, this is no time to rest.”
I open the desk drawer and grasp the object inside.
A device known as a “mobile telephone,” small enough to be held in one
hand.
The telephone has only one button, which I press now.
I am told that long ago, in an ancient culture, this device was used to
speak with many faraway people. But now, it has no such features.
The device in my hand can contact only one person.
As I hold it to my ear, it makes a dull tone for a while, until finally a beep
indicates that it has connected.
“It is I, Erguner. Can you hear me?”
“Yes, of course I can.”
The voice that comes through is that of a completely emotionless male.
Namely: Potimas Harrifenas.
The patriarch of the elves and a heretic who brings ancient secrets into the
“Ahhh-choo!”
“The hell?! That’s disgusting, Master! You got your gross spit all over
me!”
“Hngh. My apologies. Someone must have been talking about me.”
“All bad things, I’m sure.”
“What nonsense! If you bothered to listen more closely, no doubt the
masses are praising my name!”
“Oh yeah, sure. Wait, Master, are you crying?”
“Hmm? How strange. Perhaps some dust got into my eye during that
sneeze.”
“Must’ve been some big freaking piece of dust to make you cry.”
“Quiet, you. Here, have some extra homework.”
“What?! You demon! Maybe I’ll just kill you and escape from this hell!”
“Wah-ha-ha! There is no time for rest on the path to the heights of
occultism! You won’t see me dying until I reach the top!”
We stayed at the Colonel’s place for a few days, then headed out.
We may have finally reached the demon realm, but it’s a pretty big place,
so we still have to find a place where we can actually settle down. The
Colonel’s lands border human territory, so it’s not an ideal place for royalty
like the Demon Lord to set up camp.
I was feeling pretty low about having to take another long journey in that
stupid bouncy carriage, but it turned out I was wrong. Our destination was
super-close to the border.
I mean, it took us several years to cross the span of humanity’s domain, so
wouldn’t most people assume it would take just as long to cross the demon
realm?
But apparently it takes only a week—just seven days. And that’s going at
a mellow pace, too.
Hmm. Yeah, I guess seven days by carriage is a bit of a distance, but since
I was bracing myself for a year or more, this seems easy by comparison.
“The Demon Lord’s not your average ruler, y’know? I gotta fight on the
front lines. So obviously my castle has to be close to the border for that
reason, among others.”
That’s straight from the Demon Lord’s mouth.
Right. I guess in this world, the Demon Lord doesn’t just wait around in a
castle like the final boss of an RPG.
In fact, this one leaves her castle all the time!
Can you imagine what kind of impossible game would have a demon lord
who leaves the castle and chases you down on the overworld map?
Nighttime.
It is late enough that any normal person should be in bed, but I cannot
sleep.
Since I gained the Exhaustion Nullification skill after extensive training,
nighttime has become an important time for me to work.
The Exhaustion Resistance skill allows one to go without sleep much
longer than the average person, but with the Exhaustion Nullification skill,
one does not need any sleep whatsoever.
The last time I slept was… Goodness, how long has it been? So long that I
cannot even remember.
Of course, it took a great deal of effort to obtain such a valuable skill.
My training, which involved fighting off sleepiness with all my might and
clinging to consciousness by a thread, was quite difficult indeed.
It pains me that young Master Balto has gained the same Exhaustion
Nullification at his age, without even training in order to do so.
The sight of him working so hard with nary an hour to sleep troubles my
heart.
It is for his sake that I must ascertain whether our current guests mean any
harm.
Carrying no lantern, I look around the familiar sights of the duke’s
mansion.
I have no need for a light source thanks to my Night Vision skill. Even
without it, I know this place so well that I could undoubtedly navigate with
my eyes closed.
“Hey, old-timer.”
“What is it, Master Balto?”
“These reports of yours read like genuine horror stories…”
“What a coincidence. I was thinking the very same thing as I wrote them.”
“…I see.”
“At any rate, I must advise that it would be prudent to avoid turning
against the Demon Lord, in my humble opinion.”
“…I see.”
Upon receiving my honest report, Master Balto heaves an exhausted sigh.
Personally, I felt as though my very life was at risk whilst gathering this
information, so I must say I would have appreciated a slightly more favorable
reaction.
We’ve been living in the duke’s mansion for a few days now.
How is it so far? Freakin’ awesome!
I mean, I guess that’s no surprise. I’ve been living on the road for an
eternity, only staying in camps or inns for a day or two at a time.
Obviously that’s not gonna compare to living in a fancy mansion.
So allow me to describe my elegant lifestyle in the duke’s mansion.
First, I wake up.
When? Well, that varies.
I can sleep in a comfy bed for as long as I want, and I can also stay up all
night if I feel like it, so obviously my sleep schedule is all over the place.
You can’t blame me for that!
Next, once I wake up, Riel and Fiel play dress up with me for a while.
Kind of ironic that a couple of dolls are using me as their plaything, isn’t
it?
Not that I mind.
Once they mess around with my clothes and hair and even put makeup on
me and all that junk, it’s time for breakfast.
The staff makes breakfast for me while Riel and Fiel have their fun with
my look for the day.
My wake-up time is pretty random, so of course they have to remake
breakfast for me most days.
Sure, it’s probably inconvenient to the cooks, but just consider it a
necessary sacrifice for the luxurious lifestyle I so deserve.
I eat breakfast in my room with Riel and Fiel.
Being the mansion of a duke and all, the food is of course delicious. A
little bit mass-produced-ish, maybe, but that’s all right.
Later on, I learned that my brother’s first love was likely doomed when
the old-timer told me what had happened at the mansion.
They say first impressions are everything, and I cannot imagine that
anyone would think highly of a man who set fire to their room.
Why would he do such a thing?!
Sleep, wake up, eat, make thread, eat, laze around, sleep.
Is this place heaven?
’Cause it’s everything I ever wanted!
“And what exactly have you been up to while I’ve been studying my
fangs off?”
Ah. Vampy has come, a vein bulging on her forehead, to ruin my perfect
paradise.
“Why don’t you study etiquette and such with me, since you clearly have
nothing better to do?”
Vampy smiles as she forcibly drags me out of the room.
Nooo!
I don’t wanna go to school!
This is kinda sad, though. I’m not even strong enough to pull myself away
from Vampy anymore.
Grrr! Will the loss of my stats ever stop ruining my life?!
Thus, I am forced to go along with Vampy.
By the way, if you’re wondering why the baby bloodsucker was able to
enter my room in the first place, it’s because right after that hooligan attacked
my room, she came and attacked me, too.
Yeah, I said it. She didn’t comfort me. She attacked me.
Sure, she came running when she heard the commotion, but her first
response was to smile like an evil executive and say, “Oh, good. Now I can
come in.”
Then she barged right into my room as if she’d been waiting for this
moment, stared me down, and told me, “I hope you’ve learned your lesson.
Don’t you dare block that door again.”
But on top of these horrible daily etiquette lessons that leave me sore to
the bone, there are two other things that have been driving me up the wall.
One is that I’m not getting anywhere with my efforts to restore my power.
The other… Well, I guess it’s a person, not a thing.
“Yo.”
“Go away.”
It’s our old pal Hooligan, who gets a cold reception from Vampy every
time he arrives.
Yeah, that’s right.
For some reason, this stupid pyromaniac who I thought I’d never have to
see again has been showing up all the damn time.
Uh, Mr. Head Butler?
Didn’t you say you wouldn’t let this guy near me again?
But getting mad at the head butler would be barking up the wrong tree.
This damn hooligan is craftier than he looks, ’cause he’s been making a
…Oof.
Ouch. Uuurgh…
Good morning.
Hoo, boy, my head hurts.
Water…
I make some thread to pull the pitcher of water over to my hand.
<Condition satisfied.
Acquired title [Ruler of Envy].>
<Acquired skills [Divine Scales LV 10] [Root of Evil] as a result of Title [Ruler of Envy].>
Hmm? How very strange.
For some reason, I’ve lost some skill points, and my Jealousy skill turned
into Envy.
Oh dear. I suppose these things do happen.
…All right, I did it.
No, it’s not like that! It was just a little whim, that’s all!
I wonder what White and Miss Ariel would do if they knew I disobeyed
their instructions…
No, it’ll be fine.
Right now, I’m the only one who knows.
Then I remember that there’s someone else in the room.
Whirling around, I see Sael still crouching in the corner, staring at me
with a curious expression.
I-it’s fine.
Sael doesn’t know that I just acquired a skill, I’m sure.
It’s fine. It’ll be fine!
I don’t feel any of the mind-corrupting effects just yet that Miss Ariel
mentioned.
It might be the sort of thing that happens over time without one noticing,
but as long as I don’t overuse the Envy skill, I imagine nothing too terrible
will happen.
The effect of Jealousy is to disable a target’s skills.
And it can’t be blocked by resistance skills, either.
In other words, if I use Envy, I can make it so that my opponent can’t use
their skills.
Jealousy did the same thing, but now it can’t be resisted, and the limit on
how many skills I can disable appears to have been lifted.
Yes, this could definitely be a good trump card against that oni.
Its only really threatening skill was Wrath, so if I disable that skill, I’ll be
Ever since the upside-down-girls incident, Vampy has been in a very bad
mood.
Well, I guess I can’t blame her. She gave me the whole story, and
apparently, I caused that whole debacle while I was drunk.
She tried to calm me down when I went on a drunken rampage, and
instead I went wild. If I were her, I’d get mad, too.
But I don’t know why that means she has to invade my room every
chance she gets.
Even now, while I’m testing out my abilities, she’s sitting there having a
tea party with Sael and company. Plus, since Vampy is the only one of them
who talks, that means their little tea parties consist of sipping tea in silence
and watching something.
Normally, their entertainment is Fiel goofing around when she gets bored
of the stuffy silence or Riel suddenly doing some bizarre activity.
Otherwise, they have to actually just sit there in boredom, or Vampy has
to start talking by herself.
But now, they have the exciting new option of observing ME.
And that’s exactly what they’ve been doing lately.
Four pairs of eyes stare at me expectantly, making it difficult to get
anything done.
But I do feel guilty for putting them through the upside-down incident, so
I can’t be rude to them about it.
So I just try to ignore them as best I can while I test out my abilities.
My powers finally returned to me when I got drunk.
So I’ve been testing out my powers pretty successfully, and guess where I
am now? The Great Elroe Labyrinth.
Why? Because I teleported here.
It’s not like I actually wanted to come here even a little bit, but when I
was trying to decide where to go to test out teleporting, it was the first place
that came to mind.
And as soon as I thought about it, I found myself here.
I teleported so naturally, it’s almost shocking, if I do say so myself.
Just like when I make thread, I don’t even have to think about
constructing runes or anything like that. What’s up with that?
Isn’t teleporting, like, a super-advanced skill?
Well, I guess I did use it all the time.
It was literally my lifeline, y’know?
But I didn’t think it was going to be this easy to use it.
The Spatial Magic skill was always pretty hard, since you had to designate
a destination and use it as a starting point while activating Teleport.
The farther away the destination, the longer it takes to designate it.
And it takes a pretty long time before you can actually teleport there, too.
Again, with an even longer waiting period for faraway places.
In other words, it always took a crazy-long amount of time to activate
Teleport.
Even with my cheat skill Height of Occultism, Teleport took anywhere
from seconds to even minutes to prepare, depending on the distance.
But when I teleported just now, all I had to do was think about a place,
and I found myself there right away.
Seriously, what the hell?
I don’t get it. Why would it be faster to do this without the support of
skills?
In the end, I wound up staying over for the next several days…
It’s all because of those cute little eyes!
But I guess it’s fine, since I’ve managed to do some good experimenting
in the process.
The Great Elroe Labyrinth works pretty well as a space where you can use
dangerous techniques without inconveniencing anyone.
As a result, I’ve been able to figure out some things I couldn’t do in the
duke’s mansion.
This has been a pretty productive span of time.
The white spiders keep presenting me with monster corpses, but…I guess
that’s sorta cute.
Although now that I’m a human, monster meat doesn’t really suit my
tastes anymore.
Huh?
What’s this?
Excuse me?!
Wait a minute!
Where did this power come from?!
I wasn’t told about this!
“Grrraaaaaagh!”
The whelp howls and charges toward me.
So fast!
I can’t dodge in time!
In my panic, I try to take to the skies, but too late—the whelp’s sword cuts
into my torso.
I feel the sword break through not just the scales but the hide and even the
flesh beneath.
This is not good!
“Grrrr!”
Unleashing a roar of my own, I let loose with my Breath at full power.
In the blink of an eye, the village that was on the border freezes over,
shatters, and is destroyed without a trace.
But the brat isn’t there—no, I see in the corner of my eye that it’s trying to
get behind me.
I am not slow-footed by any means, but this creature is far faster than I.
How can it move like this in my cursed ice territory?!
What in the world is going on here?!
Oh dear!
End flashback.
No, my life isn’t flashing before my eyes just yet.
Which means I can still die!
So I quickly dodge Mr. Oni’s attack as he charges me faster than the eye
can follow.
Bwa-ha-ha! This isn’t gonna be like last time! My powers are back!
Although, unlike when I used to have stats and stuff, I can’t just keep my
body perpetually enhanced.
Stats automatically strengthen your body and physique in accordance with
the numbers, but with conjuring, you have to control that stuff manually.
I’m still not used to conjuring, so it’s not easy to keep it all up at once.
Sometimes my attack power goes higher than I intended, and my defense
implodes on itself trying to keep up.
The defense part is especially important. Whether I’m moving or
attacking, I have to maintain defense high enough to withstand my enhanced
speed and strength, or I’ll take some serious recoil damage.
So keeping my defense high is my top priority.
Which means I’ll probably be okay even if Mr. Oni does hit me, but if I
can dodge him, I’d much rather do that.
There are still too many uncertainties when it comes to my conjuring.
“I’ll be your opponent, thank you very much!”
Meanwhile, as I’m getting as far away from Mr. Oni’s attack as possible,
Vampy charges right in with her broadsword.
She seems pretty enthusiastic for someone who got beaten to a pulp last
time.
And hey, wait a minute. You’ve been learning manners and stuff at the
duke’s mansion much more than battle training, so why exactly are you so
confident about this?
Do you think you can beat Mr. Oni now, even though you’ve barely had
enough time to train since our last fight?
Although Mr. Oni definitely seems to have gotten a lot stronger in that
short period of time.
<Condition satisfied.
Acquired title [Ruler of Wrath].>
<Acquired skills [Battle Divinity LV 10] [Enma] as a result of Title [Ruler of Wrath].>
When I think about it now, I can speculate that Raza-Raza was acting that
way only because Buirimus’s control over him had proceeded so far, and that
surely he wouldn’t have wanted to do that if he was still in his right mind.
But at the time, I was too enraged to think about things that deeply.
The anger that built up inside me like scorching red heat burned
everything else away, threatening to singe even my own body.
At the same time, the monster tamer’s binding spell that constricted me
burned away, too.
Ahhh. I’m free.
Now he can’t stop me any longer.
I used the entirety of my strength to create a weapon with as much sheer
destructive power as I could muster.
It created a terrifying flame sword, as if shaped by the ugly thoughts
within me.
Without a moment’s hesitation, I brought it down hard on the shameless
traitor.
Unable to react in time, the one I had once called brother was slashed to
pieces and swallowed by an explosion of flames.
I turned to cut down Buirimus next, but as I should have expected, he had
already moved away from me.
The other men trampled over to surround me.
Buirimus began to summon a new monster.
“Huh?!”
I wake up with a start.
Is it normal in a dream to hit the ground without waking up, realize that
this must be a dream, and only then wake up for real?
I feel awful.
My entire body is drenched in sweat.
But I didn’t sit up sharply when I awoke.
Or rather, I couldn’t, really.
“Huh? What’s going on?”
My body won’t move, even if I put all my effort into sitting up.
Confused, I look around, trying to figure out what is going on.
Luckily, I’m at least able to turn my head, so I can take in my
surroundings.
It looks like I’m lying in a bed.
I’m covered by a blanket, so I can’t tell what state my body is in. But it
definitely feels like I’m being restrained by something.
Next, I look around the room.
It’s a big room, much more impressive than the tumble-down house in the
goblin village or even the one in Buirimus’s village.
Is this a royal palace or something?
My confusion only deepens as I try to figure out why I would be lying in a
room like this.
Then I lock eyes with a little girl sitting near my bed.
Her almost artificial-looking eyes seem to pierce right through me.
For some reason, she reminds me of the girl with six arms.
Wait a minute.
Girl with six arms?
No, that must have been a dream, right?
There couldn’t possibly be a girl with six arms in reality.
I’m having trouble figuring out which parts of those memories are a
dream and which parts are real.
As I think about it, I realize that I have absolutely no idea how in the
world I wound up in this fancy room. My most recent memories are hazy,
After that, Miss Ariel tried to keep talking with me, but Sophia finally lost
control and started raising a fuss, so Ariel wordlessly grabbed her by the
scruff of the neck and dragged her out of the room. Flustered, Merazophis
quickly followed them.
When Güli-güli informed me that I could leave the planet and D told me
immediately afterward to come see her, I had the idea of teleporting to Japan.
I can teleport anywhere I want to now just by thinking about a place, as I
““Let’s eat.””
The next morning.
Our breakfast table is adorned with burnt toast and microwaved side
dishes.
Hooray for this incredible society in which you can eat a proper meal
without having to actually cook at all!
My only regret is that I can’t fit all this food into the tiny stomach of this
body!
D doesn’t care about taste or amount as long as it’s edible.
Maybe our contrasting levels of gluttony is the biggest difference between
D and me.
YAHOO! Hello, this is Okina Baba, writing to you with a bizarre amount of
excitement.
This series has now reached its ninth volume.
Next thing you know, we’ll be in the double digits.
Ah, the number nine.
I think you can learn a lot about people from what they associate with it.
If you think of billiards, then you’re a normie!
Imagine being social enough to have real-life friends to play billiards
with.
If you thought of a certain ice fairy who’s officially labeled as an idiot,
then you’re a nerd!
I don’t know if you’re casual or a hardcore nerd, but if you recognized
that reference at all, then you’re obviously one of us to some extent.
If you thought of a red machine coming to destroy all irregulars, then
you’re a From fan!
I’m sorry, but it’s too late for you. The Kojima particles have taken over
your brain.
Incidentally, these predictions are all based on my own personal biases
and assumptions, so please don’t take them too seriously.
By the way, the first thing I pictured was a red fairy quietly saying, Those
who wield too much power bring only chaos. I guess I’m a nerd and a From
fan.
Anyway, putting the number nine aside, this volume of the series contains
a world full of as many problems as a billiard board has holes and a battle
between a young girl who looks a bit like an ice fairy and a man who gets
fired up like a red machine.
…What’s scary is that none of that is inaccurate.
But that part’s more like the continuation of Volume 8. I’m more excited
Dun-dun-duuuun!
That’s right, this series is getting an anime!
Yaaaay! Clap, clap, clap!
This is totally serious. It’s not a joke or a prank.
Finally, at long last, the time has come!
When the web novel became a printed series, it went from being only text
to having Kiryuu-sensei’s illustrations.
When it became a manga, Kakashi-sensei developed a lively version of
the world.
Thanks to Kiryuu-sensei and Kakashi-sensei, things that were difficult to
convey with text alone can now be beautifully portrayed with images.
And now, motion and sound will be added to the mix.
Kumoko’s going to be moving on the screen!
And talking!
Well, she can’t actually talk, so maybe you’ll be hearing a lot of her inner
thoughts.
At any rate, getting an anime adaptation means achieving a major goal for
creators like me.
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