The Legend of Saleem Haider Zaidi.

Chp #1 : The Background

In the period of Great Darkness, was a man banned from the Celestial Planet living
a life on his own. That man was at the time 68 SaleemIllion Yrs Old (1
SaleemIllion Yr = 2 Billion Trillion Yrs). That man was all alone in the abyss
of the empty universe. He had only his Flying Rock Chair. That man was an Alim
e Mathematics. He studied math and remembered all the formulas.He on a his chair
the SALEEMKURSI travel the universe in hope of finding any life but what he
didn’t know that he had a very comfortable destiny in front of Him. That man was
SALEEM HAIDER ZAIDI.

Chp #2 : The Creation of Universe

Saleem was a man of great fortune But this was the only thing he didn’t know. He
traveled through the Dark Abyss for another SaleemIllion yr. He didn’t know what
to do so he practiced math and invented new ideas and formulas to solve questions. It
was Saleem Haider Zaidi who invented the percentage formulas and other things like
Area and Perimeter. Saleem on one day was feeling something odd in his stomach.
He thought he would get over it and it would end. Sometime later he felt it again and
this time it was more painful. Saleem didn’t know what was going on. Saleem had a
very bad pain in his stomach and was not comfortable with it anymore. He started to
weep his eyes. Saleem did one thing he didn’t do for a SaleemIllion Yr and that was
getting up from the SALEEMKURSI. He got up from that chair but he
couldn’t stand straight due to the pain. He knew the solution but didn’t want to do it.
Saleem had no other way but to do it. Saleem then un-willingly farted in the huge
dark and empty universe. Saleem felt Relaxed but there was a very unfamiliar noise
coming from behind.Saleem couldn’t figure out what was happening. Saleem then saw
sparks and suddenly realised that a Celestials Fart could cause a huge Reaction if done
in space. Saleem covered himself in shields from the SALEEMKURSI. After
a moment or two a huge explosion occurred. An explosion which he saw never ended
and from that explosion came elements which he collected. There he saw huge bodies of
rock which he named Planets but he then after roaming the place saw that they were
collected in a place which he called Solar System. All planets were attracted to a
glowing star which he named Suns. He then calculated and caught in his knowledge
that all the Solar Systems were in collective bodies of other Solar Systems and stars
which he named Galaxies which he then figured out there were millions of them.
Saleem saw all of them but he liked only one of them which was white and was so
beautiful he named it The Milky Way Galaxy and so Saleem decided to roam it.

Chp #3 : Earth
Saleem, roaming the Milky Way Galaxy for millions of years, finally came up to a
Solar System at which he decided to rest. He went to the Sun and choosed the 3rd
planet away from it which he thought to be perfect for him. Saleem landed on that
planet which still had running molten lava on it. Saleem took a nap of 300 million
yrs and when he woke up the planet was cooled. Saleem then burped to make the planet
come into an environment. He then saw dark clouds gather up him and water started
falling from it. In Legends it says that Saleem saw it raining for 40 million yrs.
Saleem Calculated that about 30% of the Planet was left as land and the rest was a
huge body of water. The planet started turning green on the land and was now also
capable for other beings to live on it.

Chp #4 : Life
Saleem was walking the planet to find a place to live. He found a place near shore
with mountains behind. Saleem made a wooden house over there and lived there.
Saleem after 28 days of living there saw something moving there. He went near the
shore to locate it. He made a raft and went to look for it. Saleem saw it again but this
time in a huge number. He felt like they were in a pack moving. Then Saleem took
the ultimate SALEEMBREATH and went underwater to see what was the
matter. Saleem was so shocked to see that there were living things underwater. Saleem
named its fish and also created categories. Saleem studied it for hundreds of years and
divided it into thousands of categories and also studied its biology.

Chp #5 : Jurassic Period, Saleem’s Tharak & The Extinction

Saleem after a long time saw some of the fish coming to land. Saleem figured that they
were now evolving. Saleem took a sample of the evolving species and learned that they
were not only evolving geographically but also biologically. Saleem after a million years
saw reptiles on the land. There were some reptiles completely different from others.
Saleem named it the dinosaur. Saleem also saw mammals. Saleem petted a dinosaur
species which was called Suskityrannus Hazelae. Saleem petted it and its children for
90 million yrs until they turned into the massive Alpha predator we know as the
Tyrannosaurus Rex. Saleem then set them loose. Saleem found them whenever he
traveled. Saleem became very interested in these species. Saleem studied the dinos for
years. One day he saw a female T-rex and fell in love with her. Saleem told her about
his love for her but she refused and her father the Daddy T-rex called him a tharki
buddha which pissed him off. Saleem in rage felt very angered and wanted to take
revenge. Saleem took his SALEEMKURSI and went to the asteroid belt. From
there Saleem pushed it and it went towards the Earth. Saleem didn’t know what he
was doing. Saleem followed the dinosaur and found out that the moon was coming in
they way and it would stop the asteroid. Saleem pushed the asteroid aside and kicked it
which increased its speed in a massive number. The asteroid hit Earth destroying the
life around it. Saleem felt bad for the Dinos and started to weep and cried for a long
time. He didn’t even know the time passed away and he went back to Earth to live
there again but this time he saw all the Dinos dead but he saw the mammels were still
alive.He got interested in them and saw them evolve.

Volume 2: The Human Period

Chp #6 : Early Human Life
Saleem started to study mammals. He learned about their biology and also he saw them
evolve. Saleem saw a category of mammals which were smarter than others. Saleem
named them Hominids. Saleem saw that they negotiated with each other and also
hunted in a plan. Saleem saw them evolving quickly and after a time of 3 million yrs
Saleem saw that they took the Human form. Saleem was more than happy to see the
likes of him. Saleem went to meet them and also talked with them. Saleem hated only
one thing about them and that was that they had a little life span. Saleem saw them
build their homes and live a life with peace. Saleem moved with them and also taught
them about Maths and the other studies that he had done but didn’t tell them about his
evil part in which he almost destroyed the Planet.

Chp #7 : Life in the Middle Earth

Saleem saw more and more humans as he traveled the Earth but in his journey was a
place which he was shocked to see. Over there were people three feet short and those
people called themselves Hobbits. Saleem saw that these people lived in a very little
and a very beautiful town called Shire. Saleem roamed this place further and met
wizards along the way. The wizard that he most liked was named Gandlaf and Saleem
made a very strong friendship bond with him. Saleem gifted him with a staff of great
power. Saleem went further on and met the Elves Eternals. Saleem learned that they
lived forever and was very happy to see someone like him Saleem made them all rings
of great power but there was a Dark King of Mordor named Sauron who wanted to
rule all the other rings and so he made one. Saleem sneaked into Mordor and learned
of this. Saleem saw and told everyone else about Sauron and his evil plan to conquer
Middle Earth. Saleem’s call united the People of Middle Earth and they all fought
against the Dark Power. Saleem also fought in this battle and killed a lot of orcs from
his army. Saleem won this battle and named it The Battle of the Earth Allegiance
and Sauron. Saleem was then gifted with diamonds and gold but he refused because his
Okat wasn’t that high enough. Saleem then moved on to find more.
Chp #8 : Time with the people at History’s Peak
Saleem moved on until he reached the Indus Plain. Saleem saw a settlement there.
People over there called that place Mohenjo Daro. Saleem made fun of them after he
heard that they said that there was a BigFoot under their civilization. The people were
angered at him and wanted to kill him. Saleem ran as fast as he could in the city.
Saleem took a batchi with him to marry. Saleem kissed that bachi and ran away with
her. That bachi’s name was Zahida Basharat Hamid. Saleem impregnated her before
she even could marry him. Saleem became a Tharki Man at this point. Saleem ran
towards Greece. He was the wisest man over there and so he was given a high place
among the Council of Sparta. Saleem fell in love with every woman around him.
Saleem ran then took the King’s wife into bed just to help the king into war. Saleem’s
wife Zahida didn’t know of this yet.She always wrote everything in her diary and also
was very excited to learn about Geography. Saleem was then banned from Sparta so he
went to the Great King Xerxes where Xerxes let Saleem fuck his own wife just to
learn the Greek Secret. With Saleem’s help the Persians defeated the Greek. Then
one day rose from Mesopotaamia a Great King Alexander who was so skilled and
conquered most of the places around him but he couldn’t get through Turkey. Saleem
then went to Alexander and told him that he would help him only if he got Bachian.
The King agreed and gave him bachian. Saleem then went to war with them. The
Border of Turkey was in front of them. Saleem smiled his Bright Yellow Teeth in
front of the Turkish people. The Teeth were so yellow and his smile was so awkward
that the Turkish died due to laughter. The King then conquered Turkey and rewarded
Saleem with more diamonds but he refused due to Okat Problems. Saleem after a
time in the year 1258 helped Ertugrul rise to power by giving him a sword that would
never lose. Ertugrul thanked him and so Saleem moved on. After a time of almost
150 yrs Saleem came back to these people but he then learned that their king
Muhammad-al-Fateh went to conquer a great city. Saleem went to the siege area and
offered to help. Saleem wanted to fuck the wife of the king in order to help. The King
wanted the city to be under his control so much that he allowed him. Saleem after
having sex went to the king and asked him to load him into one of the cannons and
shoot him to the Walls. Saleem was fired at the walls and he hit the walls with his
head breaking them and allowing the people to go through. Saleem made them win but
got a black spot on his forehead that was there forever. Saleem then went on and lived
in the sub-continent. Sometime later at about 73 years later Saleem saw a group of
people with a leader named Babur get to rise. Saleem offered them an empire only if he
would let them become the governor of the Kingdom. Saleem had great schemes in his
mind which helped Babur come to rise. Saleem helped Babur and the other Mughal
Emperors to sustain power as emperor until the time of Aurangzeb who was a powerful
ruler even without Saleem’s help. He banished Saleem. His anger took him to the
British and as he governed the Empire he knew all the secrets and told it to the British
Kings. Saleem’s anger led to the great downfall of the Mughal Empire. Saleem was
then again smiling and was happy for his revenge. Saleem also saw the time of
industrial revolution. Saleem took part in politics. He became a great friend to Jinnah
and hired a man called Gandhi to sew his clothes for him. Saleem took part in the
round table conferences but always disagreed with the decisions so he always farted in
there. His fart had the power to change people's minds and so his farts changed the
outcomes due to which all the round table conferences failed. Saleem was also on the
train on the way to Pakistan after the Separation of the Subcontinent. Saleem then
settled in Lahore. Saleem studied Computer Studies at RABIA READING
CLUB. He worked at Mustansar Park to earn money.

Chp #9 : Life in the 21st Century

Saleem saw the people advancing towards technology. Saleem also thought of buying a
phone to see what it does and he liked it. Saleem after 20 years into the 21st century
thought to teach Maths as it was highly needed at this point. Saleem went to a School
called Learning Alliance and teached math there. Saleem saw two girls named Ayesha
Zeeshan (Handle) and Maruyam Suleman(McDawg). Saleem loved the two girls
and usually gave other students the test and went to Jiba with them. Saleem shiyaried
on these two girls. Saleem taught very slowly just to see these girls. He often said “this
line is 5 cm, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa error 404, and it is a line
which is parallel to the line next to it,aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa error 404,
which is also 5 cm. Saleem always sat on a dildo and told himself that he should be
comfortable with this. Saleem always said yeah yeah yeah yeah even if he was being
abused. He often blamed Rafay and told into the office that the kid used to bully him
and force him into sexual harassment. He used to tell the boys to change their gender if
they wanted to go to the Washroom. Saleem took Handle into his bed and opened his
khapa and chaday. Saleem used to shake people like he shaked his dick. Saleem used to
drink cow piss to survive. Saleem also fucked Miss Huma & Miss Sadia due to love
madness.
Cp #10 : Death
Saleem died due to penchood a snake in his bund, bawasir, malaria, fungus on his teeth
and he broke his penis.