From You To You:

My Path to My Self

By: Kevin Hanson

Needs an introduction! My life, moving to Colombia, applying for but not going to law school, being Free
here in Bogota to just read, relax, Be. I started out reading and as I wanted to remember these amazing
teachings that brought me much peace and happiness, I started writing them down. As I started doing this, I
noticed I was writing quite a bit. I started listening to Zen podcasts and reading much more, even seeing
documentaries online such as Zeitgeist. My lists of books grew and grew as an excitement and vision started
growing within me about whether this all might actually be possible. Could the world really change? Could
we? Could I?

One journal quickly turned into 2, then 3, then 4 and what started out as writing down some quick quotes and
thoughts turned into an intense journey of inner-discovery and self-evaluation. My goal was never to publish
or allow anyone to read any of this (that only occurred to me when I was writing my 3rd journal) so everything
here is completely personal and unfiltered. Everything was from me to me. Ideas started forming about ways
I could share this message, but I had no idea the message would – at least in the beginning – be the journals
themselves.

Now, I have no intent or purpose in sharing this except to reveal what I believe to be true. Also, I think much
understanding can be reached through experiencing my first-hand, unfiltered journey.

What follows is the entirety of my four journals which serve as a base or starting point from which the entire
site unfolds.

Write more later….

Available at:

https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AX6820mxbuZWZGM0cDN2cGhfMzJnMjdnOHRnNw&hl=en

Truthfully, and you’ll see I’m nothing but, this has been extremely difficult to keep to myself. Ive
conceptualized this for long enough, though. It’s funny really. I realized I was succumbing to the exact same
egoic pitfalls as I describe in my writings. I couldn’t share this message because everytime I tried my ego
would arise. Since it did, and I was now present to see that, I could return to presence, allow the ego to
dissolve, then be at peace. The problem was that this kept repeating, over and over. I kept receiving more,
writing more, wanting to share it more, but noticing ego arise again and again. It took – as often it does –
someone else to point this out to me. A friend who I was confiding in and sharing all of this with simply said,
very plainly, that I’m “self-sabotaging” and to wake up and start sharing it.

So rather than waste any more time thinking about how to present this, here it is. The rest, I know, will take
care of itself 

1st Journal:

Entry 1 
Who am I to be speaking with any degree of authority? Simply another fellow soul, seeking, wondering,
insecure and fragile, just like you. Only the recognition of my own dysfunction, the sane acknowledgement of
my own insanity, means I am capable of speaking the truth at all.

My particular dysfunction – or most form manifested aspect of it – is in my strong attachment to ego,

especially in the mind. For the first 20 years of my life I was completely in the control of my mind. I was a
fundamentalist Christian and proud Conservative Republican…1

Entry 2 
Saying a word captures a thought or thing is like saying a picture captures a moment. Both are merely
glimpses of the true miraculous reality behind the label we give it or picture we take of it.

Does your current theology/philosophy/spirituality/belief system/etc. truly give you peace in your life? Does
it cover up your fears and insecurities by providing something better in the future or promising
something…or does it reveal the peace that is deep within you? Does it satiate your fears or reveal that there
is nothing to fear?

• Matthew 11: 28-30: “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my
yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble at heart, and you will find rest for
your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”2
• Religions tell you what you must fear and then that – through them – you can be free from the very
fear they created.

Entry 3 
List stats for world religions:

• 1 billion Muslims, 1 billion Christians, x Buddhists3

• Then subdivisions, especially Christianity
• Does just one of these have it correct and the others are all wrong? Really…? Or does everyone have
a piece?

All religions have 2 central questions:

• Tolle: provide this quote

• Religious atrocities, pg. 120

Entry 4 
“Don’t seek the truth. Just cease to cherish opinions.” – Zen saying4

“Anybody who is one with what he or she does is building the new earth.”5





























































1

Finish
this?

2

This
always
spoke
to
me.
It
was
one
of
my
favorites
even
when
I
was
extremely
conservative.
What
else
could

Jesus
be
referring
to
here?

3

Provide
all
stats

4

Provide
reference

“It is amazing how much emotion a little mental concept like ‘my’ can generate.”6

“There are no ordinary moments.”7

• Every moment deserves your full, centered attention.

Entry 5 
Listening to Dan tell his story, I felt my ego creep in and become envious of Dan’s life. I heard myself think:
“I want a teacher like Socrates!” But then, like a flash of light, I was hit with the realization that I do have a
teacher like Socrates! My Life! My life is exactly what I need to evolve into awareness, into Presence, into the
Ultimate. All my life experiences: good, bad, pain, pleasure, sadness, happiness, all of it was designed to
slowly help me become Aware. My own personal soap opera of life.

Entry 6 
“You’ve always tried to become superior in an ordinary realm. Now you’re going to learn to become ordinary
in a superior realm.”8

Entry 7 
Meditate with full attention at least 30 minutes every day.

Do 2 hour full body massage and stretch at least once a week for the next 6 months.

• Massage the bone. Create muscles like a cat.9

Entry 8 
“Happiness is a full tank.”

The Buddha’s final words to his disciples: “Do your best.”

Satori: Zen for complete moment of concentration (sports, art, etc.)

Aykeedo: A flowing martial art

• “Never struggle with anyone or anything. When you’re pushed, then pull; and when you’re pulled,
then push. Find the natural course and bend with it. Then you join with nature’s power.”

Make your breathing so slow that it wouldn’t disturb a feather in front of your nose.

Meditating in action: When there is no self; you become the action.


































































































































































































5

Ibid,
lol,
I
remember
ibid!

6

Lo
mismo

7

Damn,
now
I
have
to
work
and
find
this….haha

8

Way
of
the
Peaceful
warrior
reference.

9

Explain
how
I
did
all
this
or
provide
a
link
to
x

I know you understand it. I’m asking you to live it.

Body / Mind / Emotion

• When one is “weak” or not functioning, just work on another! You’ll have more energy to do so (just
like a broken angle may be “bad” but allows you to exercise your upper body, etc.)

Entry 9 
“Unreasonable Happiness” 

“The birth of the mind is the death of the senses.”

• Babies experience everything fully and majestically. Only over time, when perceived through the
confines of the mind, does reality become dull and ordinary.
• Jesus: You must become like children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Boredom is a fundamental non-awareness of life. Boredom is awareness trapped in the mind. You’ll have to
lose your mind before you can come to your senses.

• You’ve become bored with x because it only exists to you as a name, a memory, to you.

Entry 10 
What is has become obscured by the mind projections you perceive instead of them. It’s like watching a
movie for the 20th time; you become bored.

Happiness = Satisfaction/Desires

• The secret of happiness is not found in seeking more but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.

Entry 11 
What time is it?...Now

Where are you?...Here

“Socrates, you’re incredible!” – “Yep, I’m never one for false modesty.” 

Story of 2 monks: Are you still carrying her?10

Entry 12 
“Do what you will. It doesn’t matter what you do, only how well you do it.”

For every strength, there is a weakness (house rules!) and vice versa.

No matter how strong we appear, there is always a hidden weakness which may be our undoing.






























































10

Include
story

You haven’t yet opened your heart in a natural way to bring your emotions to life. You’ve learned body
control and even some mind control but your heart is not yet opened. Your goal is not invulnerability, but
vulnerability, to the world, to life and therefore to true Presence.

“Why worry? Better to live until you die.”

“Happiness is the only power that counts and you cannot attain happiness; it attains you. But only after you
surrender everything else.”

“My friend, have no fear. Your path will guide you. You cannot lose your way.”

“There is life and death, either can be wondrous and full of change. Or, if you do not awaken, both may turn
out to be a considerable disappointment.”

“Wake up…You do have a terminal illness: it’s called birth. You don’t have but a few years so be happy now,
without reason, or you never will be at all.”

Peeling an onion until there’s nothing left but the universe.

“It’s like pouring God into God.” (talking about a pouring a glass of milk)

Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream….merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream…

“Enlightenment is not an attainment, it is a realization and when you wake up, everything changes and
nothing changes. If a blind man realizes that he can see, has the world changed?”

Entry 13 
Happiness does not come easy. It’s not that you have to learn or do anything but unlearn and undo so many
things. This takes time and requires great will power and discipline. But have no fear, life will guide you. It’s
impossible not to be precisely where you should be.

“I’ve shown you the way of the peaceful warrior, not the way to it.”

• As long as you tread the way, you are a warrior.

“A fool is happy when his cravings are satisfied. A warrior is happy without reasons. That’s what makes
happiness the ultimate discipline.”

• Just don’t stop and go “looking for it”! 

The way is now. It always has been.

“Act happy. Be happy without a reason in the world, then you can love and do what you will.”i

“It is beyond searching and beyond fear, once it happens you will see that it is only obvious, simple, ordinary,
awake and happy. It is only reality beyond the shadows (of the mind).ii

“And so I awoke to reality, free of any meaning and any search. What could there possibly be to search for?
This was the paradox of it all, the humor of it all and the great change. All searches, all achievements, all
goals, were equally enjoyable and equally unnecessary. Energy coursed through my body. I was overcome and
burst with laughter. It was the laugh of an unreasonably happy man.” iii

“I had lost my mind and fallen into my heart. I had tumbled through the gate, laughing, because it too was a
joke. It was a gateless gate. The path continues without end.”iv

Entry 14 
Start with:

• Where are you? (all that follows)11

• What time is it? (all that follows)12
• Well, who are you?
• Where are you going?
• You don’t even know that?...
• Well then Now we’re getting somewhere 

Everywhere around you is one big distraction aimed at making you forget these questions. Your job,
relationships, hobbies, nearly everything is one big distraction. From what? That life, and all that it entails, is
one big mystery. We don’t know where we are, when we are, why we’re here…etc. And it scares the hell out
of us!

Entry 15 
All stress, tension, argument, war, conflict, etc. is a manifestation of our not being at peace with this mystery.
Even religion’s main point/purpose is to satiate this need!

Ego: the biggest manifestation!

Entry 16 
1 Chapter on the body:

• You are constantly tense and don’t realize it!

• Take a deep breath, focus on your breath, your heart beat, let all energy flow through your body and
release it. Be completely and utterly at ease, at peace. Now, why don’t you always feel this way???
• (reaching for brownie)13

Entry 17 
Chapter on relationships

Chapter on Dying





























































11

Include
info

12

ibid

13

Tell
story
of
reaching
for
a
brownie
realizing
this!
I
was
so
tense!
I
literally
just
“woke
up”
as
I
was
reaching
for
it

to
realize
my
shoulder
were
as
hard
as
rocks.
I
was
gripping,
felt
nervous,
tense,
it
was
crazy.
I
literally
did
what
I

wrote,
relaxed,
felt
peaceful,
then
wrote
it
immediately
after.

 • Why worry? Better to live until you die.

Entry 18 
The secret to happiness isn’t in knowing the answer to such questions, but in accepting not knowing them.
What’s so wrong with a mystery? 

• All conflict is caused by fear of conflict; all stress by fear of stress! Unhappiness by fear of being
unhappy! Embrace the mystery, embrace life! Now!14

All you need to be is in the natural order of things, the natural order of the universe. Look around, everything
works together perfectly to serve a purpose!

• Examples!15

Only we worry, fear, think, debate, etc. about what we “should” do, rather than just be, and do whatever we
love. Even those doing “good” things do so out of fear. Examples of Maria and Fabian always being nice out
of desire to be viewed as nice and liked.16 Even “difference makers,” volunteers, clergy, lawyers, etc. nearly
always have fear/insecurity at the base of their motivation. We need to clear all this mental garbage before
being able to know what we’re meant to do. Be it art, music, playing with children, teaching, sports,
whatever…when you do whatever you’re genuinely passionate about, you permeate yourself, those around
you, and the universe with love and positivity. And the universe rewards this!

• “All things work together for good…”17

• “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs and do that. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and
are genuinely passionate about, because what the world needs is people doing what makes them
come alive and are genuinely passionate about.”

Entry 19 
Head / Heart / Hands

Next entry: Techniques

Techniques:

• Focus on your breathing, on the filling and emptying of your lungs, on this not being in your control,
on the existence-giving energy/power filling you with life.
• Focus on your heartbeat, on the sensation of its pumping blood through your entire body (same as
with breathing..)
• Look up, realize where you are – or that you don’t know where you are. Imagine the entire universe:
planets, stars, galaxies, forever – all existence – then return your focus to the present moment and
ask whether it’s as important as before. Feel the awe of all existence, the mystery and vastness of it all.
Then let that awe permeate your being – thoughts, feelings, everything.





























































14

Ha,
wooo!
Look
at
how
energetic
I
was


15

Provide
these


16

Elaborate
on
this
a
little.

17

Continue

 Entry 20 
Fear

I’m afraid of being wrong about this. Because of the pain, betrayal, feelings of guilt, etc.18 I’m afraid of being
wrong again. This fear causes me to recoil whenever things get serious, whenever I feel truly at peace. I say to
myself: “It’s too good to be true! Don’t let yourself get fooled again!”

But who cares? Just like poker, what’s in the pot is in there, make your best bet and move ahead. All you can
do is your best. No need for emotion!v

So what if I fail again? That’s exactly what I should do. No matter what happens, it will work for the good if
it comes from my heart (or even if it doesn’t!). Everything is part of a bigger plan.

Have no fear. Do what you will.vi

Entry 21 
Your atoms were forged inside of stars!

“This is my secret. I don’t mind what happens.” - J. Krishnamurti (pg. 198)19

As a kid, I always used to love lookingvii out the window of the car when going on family trips. I would always
stare endlessly at the fastly moving objects thinking how interesting it was that objects close to me moved so
rapidly and those far away so slowly. “We were passing them all at the same speed, weren’t we?” I thought,
“so why do the closer ones move so much faster?”

• The answer is perspective.

• Perspective with regard to reality means seeing the events in your life – examples20 - as the close,
seemingly fast moving objects in your car ride of life. Yet all you must do to see the true order of
things, to feel and be aware of the stillness of life, is look through those events to the peace that lies
behind them. Then, when you bring your attention back to the fast moving events, they look the
same, but your perspective has changed. Suddenly they’re just as important quantitatively, just not
qualitatively21. Now you view them with proper perspective, with awareness of the higher order of
things.
• The things in the background are just as important and are moving at the same speed, it’s only your
perspective that changes.

Entry 22 
“One decision changes your entire reality. But that one decision you have to make again and again and again
– until it becomes natural to live in such a way.” – A New Earth, pg. 201






























































18

Of
my
transition
out
of
Christianity
during
college
that
was
extremely
difficult.
Possibly
include
more
on
this.

19

Elaborate,
where
is
this
from?

20

Provide
these…

21

Consider
different,
more
“normal”
language,
lol.

“As long as the ego (time) runs your life, there are two ways of being unhappy: Not getting what you want is
one. Getting what you want is the other.” – A New Earth, pg. 207

Imagine a bird completely unhappy and depressed. When you ask why, it tells you the story of how it was
abused, taken advantage of, cheated, etc. This, obviously, would be silly. But what, truly, is the difference
between a bird doing this and our doing this? Just because we have consciousness and thus are aware of past
and future, doesn’t mean that the past and future have any more reality or significance. Just because we can
do this doesn’t mean we should.

Entry 23 
Getting upset or viewing as “bad” every failure in your life would be like a scientist being upset or viewing as
“bad” any failed experiment. But for the scientist, there is no such thing as failure, only whatever the
experiment taught him/her and then the next experiment and so on. It’s the same for us. All failure is a part
of the process towards your finding purpose, being aware. It all just depends on perspective. Viewing each
moment of your life as individual failures is just like a scientist viewing each experiment as a failure. But it’s all
part of the path and thus neither good nor bad, just exactly what you need.

Entry 24 
Start of the book:

Possible Question: “But I’m Christian. I know God exists and that Jesus died on the cross for me…”

• Do you really? You have faith in these things but you do not know them. In fact, the very nature of
faith requires the lack of knowledge. (Hebrews verse: faith is of things we hope for and do not see.)22
By definition, you do not know these things, nor does anyone, and that’s the most basic realization
you must have before thinking about anything else.
• All we go on is past theories and opinions. We’re born and have no clue who we are, where we are,
when we are, what – if any – is our purpose, etc. All we have is the opinions of people who have
lived before us or currently. All are theories, nothing more.

Entry 25 
Focus on your breath and genuinely look people in the eyes

• Think about randomly catching eyes with a perfect stranger and how awkward that is! You feel
almost violated, naked in a weird way. And you probably did that to them too!23
• These 2 things (focusing on your breath throughout your day and looking at people in the eyes
openly, genuinely) allow you to feel the life energy in both yourself and others. You notice it in
others much easier than in yourself (but can even combine these by looking yourself in the mirror
intently and with full attention.24

Entry 26 





























































22

Hebrews
11:1

23

Expand
on
this.
This
is
a
great
point
–
Plus
looking
a
stranger
in
the
eyes
for
60
seconds
experiment!

24

Re‐think
this?
Expand
on
it?

Double slit experiment:25

• We exist only because we observe. Without observation, electrons are waves of potential that defy all
logic and science that we know of. Literally they go through both, each, and neither –
simultaneously!viii All we are is electrons, thus only by being observed do we have form instead of
mere potential.

Inner and outer space! – A New Earth, pg. 250

• We are 99.99% empty space – perceived form is an illusion created by our senses.
• Relative to size, the distance between our atoms is greater than between stars and galaxies!26
• The speed of light (186,000 miles per second!):
• Light travels from the moon to the earth in 1 second; from the sun to the earth in 8 minutes;
from the nearest star to earth in 4.5 years!; from the nearest galaxy to earth in 2.4 million
years! Past that is literally beyond comprehension.27
• Our body is a microcosm of the universe itself – more spacious, just as mysterious!

Anchor yourself in your body, your inner body awareness. You must go through the body to go beyond it.

Entry 27 
Blink! and Change Blindness28:

• This is how the ego works! How it can manipulate, influence, even largely determine all our
emotions, thoughts and, yes, even actions; all without us knowing a thing! Even with our defending
adamantly our free will and that such a thing could never happen!29ix

(I skip an entry here that didn’t make sense to me, lol)

Entry 28 
The Power of the Unconscious

My biggest “thing” (problem) right now is living in the moment. I say I’m doing it, feel I’m doing it, have
convinced people of it – through my actions and arguments – and everyone that knows me would argue that
I’m doing it. Yet, it just hit me that no matter what I do, I unconsciously think about whether that’s my
purpose; if that’s what I should do, am best at, etc. That thought – although I never am conscious that I think
it – drives the constant background tension and feeling of unease that permeates my existence! It is
determining my happiness and neither I, nor anyone else, knows a thing about it! We all have even been
convinced of the exact opposite!30






























































25

Link!
Woo
hoo!
I
love
that
people
will
be
able
to
watch
everything
like
this


26

Put
what
the
actual
statistic
is
here,
lol.

27

We’ve
seen
15
billion
years,
but
literally
have
no
idea
where,
if
at
all,
the
universe
ends.
Think
about
it.

28

Elaborate/provide
links/info
–
on
blink,
on
the
“awareness
test”
on
youtube
(woo
hoo!)

29

Somehow
we
should
try
and
summarize
the
info
in
Blink
or
just
tell
them
to
read
it,
lol.

30

I
forgot
just
how
angry
I
was…

This power – and Blink – shows how much we don’t know at all about how we think, why we act, our
motivations, fears, passions, everything! This recognition not only helps us respect the mysteries of the
universe, but also open our minds (or hearts) to the truth: that we really are conditioned and controlled by the
voice in our head! It feeds us information that we never even realize we’re thinking or hearing, let alone
allowing to influence and even determine what we do and feel!

• Also, those who are aware/present can know this is going on. When I am present, I sense the
emotions and trace it back to a random thought.
• Those who are aware are present and observing the background functions that you formerly missed
due to all the distractions you no longer have.

Entry 29 
Thinking about Welcometolife.com31:

• I got a clear and confident urge to buy it now, regardless of the price; that I’d even make the money
back eventually. I could start a t-shirt campaign, start a blog, connect those aware or seeking,
exchange ideas and thoughts, suggest “awareness enhancers” (music, movies, books, etc.), tips, and
announce my book, get feedback, etc.
• Every time I start thinking about things like this I immediately begin wondering whether it’s the
“best” idea; what if someone steals my idea for this book, or the title, or beats me to the first type of
book like this – ALL of this is motivated by ego! Why would I care if someone wrote a book before
me? That’d be amazing! I was just thinking about the illusory me I apparently cared about enhancing!
• Really does sound like a great idea though, but $688? Could I make that back? Would I want to care
about making money??
• Just reorganize your entire portfolio!32
• Literally, it’s exactly what you should do! Don’t feel “pot-committed”33 and stick with a hand just
because you’re in it! You’re where you are with what you have. No attachment. What’s the best you
can do now with what you have? So buy the site. It’s the best “investment” of your money – measure
“return” with presence enhancing – with your inner purpose! This enhances your inner/primary
purpose at only a possible, minor, diminishment of one of your secondary purposes: money
enhancement. And you could even enhance that! It’s a no brainer brother!34x

Entry 30 
Do a study on the effects of weed!

• Measure ability to focus all the “high energy” on one task or slowly release it over many; to be
conscious of your unconscious; to witness your emotions; to separate thought, feeling, emotion and
action.
• What’s it enhancing and diminishing in the brain? What part? With what functions?? If we know
these things, we can identify the ego! “Blink” shows we’ve already started. You could expose in your






























































31

Intro
this
idea.
Altho
this
is
shortly
explained.

32

My
financial
info?

33

Define


34

Looking
at
your
life
through
the
same
perspective
of
“investment
return”
How
interesting!
Include
more
here?

 book – and/or website – the connection of different studies (Buddhism!) that lead to the creation of
a new field: understanding True Presence! Issues of time, the ego, etc.!

Entry 31 
Right now, I’m definitely present and able to write my thoughts and feelings – even those “self-serving” –
without it gratifying my ego; or, when it does, I’m present and can thus observe it. In fact, by observing the
(what would otherwise be unconscious) ego, I learn quite a bit about my true motivations, the functioning of
my ego, and – as it’s such a clever and strong example – the universal ego.

Entry 32 
Website idea:

• A forum on how/why/etc. weed helps with awareness. Tough to admit that to everyone I know?!
Can I? Legal issues? But what a great topic to discuss. Maybe a separate (anonymous) project?35

Entry 33 
Website idea:

• Share your inner-most thoughts; expose the workings of your ego to the world thereby introducing
them to their own! Then a blog with tips, stories, etc. An honest celebration of life! Welcome to life!
• Story of its formation (meh, maybe just for me, ha) but tonight’s realization, LEIC making me aware
of websites, eBay business, time here in Colombia, freedom to be and explore and analyze my own
ego, the time here to work comfortably, be happy, and have the time to start this and work on it all
afternoon – it’s all PERFECT! Everything works together when you’re in harmony with what is!36

Entry 34 
Website idea:

• This just makes sense. It combines ALL of my passions, I could even do a movie like the Free
Hugs37 and direct with Kyle like I’ve always dreamed.38 Camilo will do the website just like LEIC but
I’ll have fun learning about how to manage it myself (like freshmen year, haha).39 It makes so much
sense that I’m already defending it – to myself and to other people in my mind! – yet it’s a clear,
undoubtable gut urge – PLUS it actually makes sense logically. It’s actually scary. Everything’s
worked perfectly up to it – who I am, what I’m good at, my experiences, passions, everything. And it
makes sense in the future – call it a vision, but I see myself traveling all over the world, managing the
site, making enough money (though donations and simple good ideas), and living the journey,
walking my path, exploring, loving, everywhere I go. I could report on examples worldwide of






























































35

Ha,
I
gave
up
on
not
being
honest
about
this
awhile
ago


36

Make
sure
ppl
know
the
context
of
this.

37

Link


38

I’ve
always
thought
me
and
my
brother
could
make
a
kick‐ass
movie,
lol.

39

When
I
started
my
eBay
business


 awareness, travel, study, expose the worst areas of the world, the Middle East (Matty Mo!40); help
change it all internally and through exposing it. Partner with people like Gladwell and Tolle for
contributions, endorsement, etc.

Entry 35 
All of this is a vision of a possible future. I’m merely a wave of potentials. The only difference is intensity
with the possibilities. Naturally, the universe has an intended, primary course (the 1 slit) and all gravitates
towards that. All are possibilities, it’s just how in tune/in line with the universe’s natural flow. So when you
have a vision, note the feeling of ease associated with it. This one’s pretty damn at ease, ha.

• Partner with Alison on this IMMEDIATELY! Do this together! She’s Perfect! (well, almost, ha, but
together you could do it!)41
• Itunes podcast, iphone apps, etc. Alison will LOVE this 

Entry 36 
I feel myself getting emotional about the significance of this idea; how it changes my future, is so detailed, has
so much expectation, could all fail, might need to be different, will require too much time, be too difficult,
will eventually become over-bearable and thus unenjoyable. I’m literally overflowed with negativity! I then
take a deep breath, return to the present, and stop the flow of negative thoughts. My heart slows, I release the
tension that was in my entire body (especially my shoulders); I feel lighter, at peace, and genuinely excited
about the possibility of such a cool future with no fear or failure, or change, or anything; just excited to talk
about this tomorrow and take the step in front of me. I see the numerous possible future steps, see the logic
and feel an urge about one in particular, but have no particular personal attachment to it, just objective
analysis. I see all the possible failures but see no reason to imagine those right now. Thus, I move forward, at
peace and grateful for the fun vision and genuine possible future.

Entry 37 
Lifehouse’s “Everything”42:

• Genuine worship; sheer, utter, inner-recognition of oneness with everything.

• “You’re all I want, you’re all I need, you’re everything.” How true! It may not be what’s usually
meant, but it’s the best way I can imagine saying the truth – it’s everything! You, pain, suffering, war,
love, peace, laughter…I picture all religious trances – Pentecostal – dancing – laughing – crying (both
of which I do!), singing, the holocaust, MLK, Tolle, everything…And I’m overwhelmed with true
joy. I laugh, cry, raise my hands – all simultaneously – and I feel (plus visualize) being just like Neo at
the end of the third Matrix, connected to all.
• Think Kyle doing a story on this for the site!

Entry 38 






























































40

Provide
info
and
link.
Also
send
this
to
him,
lol.

41

Background
–
found
out
the
pull
of
“the
norm”
when
she
got
pregnant
and
had
NO
time
for
any
of
this.

42

Link!
Love
iiiit!

Interview leaders (aware ones) all over the world for the site.

How to make it popular?: Youtube video like Free Hugs; send to friends; weekly stories (all your book
material!); start forums, blog, facebook – get the word out!!

• REAL LIFE: examples, stories, people, etc.

• Have them tell their stories, you offer advice – get advice from others – etc.
• Mom’s a great example!
• Kyle, all the types of people doing all the kinds of things; all seeking the same: happiness.
• Show people how to do it! Tell their stories. Share hope and love. Show others who do!

My favorite thing about tonight is that I don’t let the emotional baggage of this vision change “me”! I get all
excited, write it down, realize my negative flow of thoughts, return to the present and feel normal, at peace
(calm, not “ecstatic” or “high”). When I get another vision, I repeat the process, but am always in the natural
flow!

Entry 39 
What the Bleep Do We Know?!?43

• Opening quote:44
• Exact same parts of the brain are used to see with the eyes and to imagine with them closed. So what
is reality? What we actually see or just what we imagine/remember? The brain doesn’t know the
difference.
• The brain takes in 400 billion bits of info a second but we are only aware of 2,000: body,
environment and time, nothing more.
• Fundamental assumption that the past is unchangeable, but the future is completely; that we can
know about the past but nothing about the future. The fact that this epistemic access is so engrained
into our concepts of reality is unquestionable, but not to question these things is to be three-fourths
of the way to being dead.
• Nobody touches nothing!
• Atoms are not things; they’re only tendencies.
• Picture of the same object in 2 places!!!
• 25% drop in crime in Washington D.C. – 4,000 people meditating!
• Pictures of water – thoughts changing
• You and I are literally one.
• If you can’t control your emotional state, you must be addicted to it (difference cells: hunger, pity,
suffering, etc.)
• Heroine is the same as any other neuro-peptide/emotion.
• All aging is the result of improper protein production.
• I don’t think you’re bad; I don’t think you’re good either; I think you’re God.
• I love you! – Change your water! 

Entry 40 





























































43

Link!

44

Provide
this

I don’t think the world needs to change. I don’t see evil or bad or suffering and think it could be better. I
simply see these things and genuinely want them to be different. Whether they were “bad” and I want them
“good” or were “good” and I want them “bad” is all just perspective. It’s only a label. Bad and good simply
do not exist.

I WANT IT – there is no negativity at all; no addiction; no unhappiness; nothing in need of change, I simply
want it.xi

Entry 41 
It’s the Jesus’s and Buddha’s who literally give up all attachment. Everyone else knows but doesn’t know.

Look up all these people! WTL (Welcometolife.com) could be a joining force. All thoughts and fields are
involved because literally all thoughts and fields are designed to go towards one fundamental truth: Life is.
Welcome to it.

Tolle and Buddhism are very far in this understanding but the ego is still yet another illusion.

Entry 42 
Forgiveness is a state of mind, not an action at a particular time.

Creation story – eating of the tree of knowledge of good and evil:

• It’s in thinking things are “good” and “evil” that we fell out of grace with God.
• It’s in creating these concepts that we fell out of the natural order of things and therefore started to
die. Death is the body’s reaction to that which is unhealthy.

Really look at how you feel when you’re telling someone they’re wrong (gay, religion, whatever). I know you
think, genuinely, that you’re trying to help, but really analyze how you feel – what your body is telling you –
when you condemn or judge. The conclusion is obvious.

For Christians, just look at Jesus on forgiveness and ask whether what you’re doing is in line with his actions.
The crucifixion is the ultimate act of love, acceptance, and forgiveness, yet you literally do the exact opposite
in His name!

Being wronged – having something or someone stolen from you, etc: If you truly believe you’re an eternal
soul, what’s the damage? Life is a gift, eternity is yours, who was harmed but the person doing the stealing?
Don’t react with judgment or hate, act with love.

Entry 43 
In Love We Trust

• Imagine this in courthouse, on our money, etc.

• In God We Trust. God is Love. Therefore…

Imagine instead of grounding or spanking our children, we show them the pain what they did caused. This
allows them to truly learn and grow rather than perpetuating the cycle of “getting away with what you can.”
Punishment, of course, might be necessary at times, but only with showing as well. These are not mutually
exclusive.

• Hearing “I’m so disappointed in you” from a parent is so much more hurtful than punishment.
Really think about why that is.

Is this a bad time? There’s no such thing as bad. Or time for that matter 

What is money?? Ask this to a large group of people without any clarification and see what they say. What is
success? What is happiness? What do you want most in life? Ask about sex, drugs, women, men, rape,
murder…whatever. Pass this out and see the assumptions we’re unconsciously making. Rape and Money are
the best two examples!

• Rape: trauma = choice.45

• Money is literally dependent on our willing it to even exist, and yet people die over it, starve over it,
stress over it, do things they hate over it, cheat over it, steal over it, kill because they want more of it
and die because they didn’t have enough of it. The next time we see people suffering – and hell,
realize a majority of the world is NOW! – then remember this is literally just a piece of paper with a
picture on it that we CHOOSE to make worth anything at all!

Do the same for success, family, happiness, relationships, jobs, etc. This would literally be just like “The Ugly
Truth”, only both entertaining AND awareness enhancing!

“Welcome to life!” vs. “Life sucks!” Welcome Test:

• Great duel section humorously showing the two extreme ways of looking at things – The Guru vs.
The Ego!
• “Joe the Guru” is the balanced man in the middle we all want to be. We don’t want spiritually
enlightened bald kung fu dudes walking around, we just wantcha happy  Is that too much to ask?


Entry 44 
Baptism: sprinkling magic water on your head will keep you from burning in a pit of fire for eternity.

Hypnotism – research what’s really going on with this.

• Bleeding on only one side of a wound, for example.

• Could they walk on water if they “truly” believed they could?
• Is “The Secret” from this respect?
• Is what Jesus said about prayer?
• There is no spoon.

Entry 45 
Website ideas:






























































45

Elaborate/give
context.

What is your purpose? How to be happy?

• Actualization
• Fulfilling your true potential
• How to be successful (although redefining success)
• Money, Relationships, Career

What is the ego?

Guru vs. The Ego

Entertainment section

Entry 46 
Joe Madden commentary on life

• With commentary and not story

• Pain -> work -> money -> my life sucks -> I need therapy -> I should meditate -> wow, I am

“He still wasn’t there after two calls” = “Ah, I guess this means I’m not meant to come.”

• No, I think it means he’s not there 

Entry 47 
We live through our interpretations and not what’s actually happening. Feel the world through what’s real
(not philosophically) – through the body.

• My friend came late, that no good loser…But we find out he was hurt and all that anger dissipates.
We were literally living through our interpretation.

Pain

We’ve been conditioned to avoid it at all costs (Tylenol!) but in doing so you ignore the tension in your
body/head that led to the pain/headache in the first place. So we are completely detached from what we feel
and thus never know its cause or truly experience what’s happening.

• Hitting my toe or almost twisting my ankle and saying “Ow!” automatically, then realizing it didn’t
even hurt. I was living in the commentary, not the experience. And the commentary or illusion has
become automatic – it’s really engrained!

Entry 48 
All this teaching isn’t from me, I’m not thinking of it. It’s coming through me, it’s simply truth. I’ve
experienced the grace necessary to having it revealed. I simply share it with love. No pressure, no expectation,
no comparison to others, just sharing, calmly, lovingly, peacefully.

Entry 49 
BUY THE SITE!!!

and meditate sober daily 10 minutes!

Entry 50 
Book

The problem with The Power of Now is the packaging and sensation transference (Gladwell)

• To fix this, WTL is great – it’s unspiritual, practical, fun, yet serious and helpful
• Start with practical questions with practical answers (kind of with a spiritual twist, but light, nothing
too crazy)
• Basically follow my own personal development:
1. Emotional honesty, $ intelligence, poker, etc.
2. Realization of eternity – Christians already believe this
3. Appreciation of mystery – junior year realization46
4. Happiness vs. Peace
5. Power of Now with Gladwell explanation

Example of #1:

• Thinking: not finding glasses on your head, driving and “spacing out,” walking or talking and
forgetting what you’re saying/doing, listening but not hearing anything.
• Money: forgetting it’s only a means to an end – it’s only purpose is to reduce stress and make life
more enriched and enjoyable. Thus, if it causes stress, that’s absurd and counterproductive. Also,
poker example of always only choosing now what to do – no emotional investment!47
• Love: emotional honesty – loving yourself first, not finding happiness in anyone – true patience, etc.
• Success: obsession with materialism – happiness of those in poverty – “Don’t ask yourself what the
world needs” quote

#’s 2, 3, 4, 5: Finally, pull everything together, explain unconscious power – Gladwell science – What the
Bleep stuff, intro Power of Now.

Use real life examples! Interview people!

Marketing examples! – why we don’t understand ourselves!!

Entry 51 
Fear

• How it drives nearly all our actions

• Of failure vs. the unknown
• How it causes insecurity, uneasiness, etc. which then causes all our stress and difficulty with our
relationships with friends, family, lovers and, most importantly, ourselves.





























































46

Of
college.

47

Elaborate.

In the next year, you’ll need to take X # of steps (millions?). Looking at it in this way makes it seem
impossible and a burden. The same is true of your life, relationships, money, etc. You just need to take the
step in front of you. All future is simply in our heads.48

Blooming flowers: Your life will have blooming and wilting, spring and winter – learn from nature that there
is no “good” or “bad,” just change.

Good vs. Bad – eating from the tree – cause of all suffering

• Luck example/story49

Psychology, science, philosophy and religion all agree!

• Show them through illusion of self and how to be happy!

Weather prediction % - poker odds: no need to be “emotional” – it’s not bad luck or good luck, just unlikely
or likely.

• If you view your life this way (I could be rich, could become a famous author, could become…etc.),
you realize how much of life is just chance – likelihoods – being in the right place at the right time
(Buffet quote from Obama)50. Then the personal responsibility diminishes and your identity that
results from it. “Earning” doesn’t mean as much – hard work doesn’t always pay off (examples of
this).51 In that way, what you do becomes important, not the ends it’s a means to.

Action vs. Reaction / Conscious vs. Unconscious

• In college, I thought sex and alcohol were good examples of how I could “do” the same thing but
not “be” as bad (because I “knew” I was doing them).
• Jesus’s “turn the other cheek” forces others to act.

Politics

• Gender issues: objectification is simply normal; all species care about looks. For us that’s perfectly
natural; the difference is that we can choose to be better. It’s not that we were “bad” or “wrong” to
care about looks or money (nature cares about security too!), it’s just we don’t have to anymore (but
you can’t not do it out of fear, shame, etc. You must choose it happily).xii
• Homosexuality: what are we afraid of?? All of us have had thoughts or an experience.

Mark 4: Heaven is Now – we’ve been givin all the information we need!

END OF JOURNAL 1






























































48

The
actual
number
is…

49

Elaborate
–
think
this
is
Tolle’s?

50

Give
it
here
(from
Audacity
of
Hope)

51

Exs
of
this

 Journal 2:

First page:

This Journal Belongs to:

Kevin Hanson, my son who I am SO very proud of and love with all my heart. Write your heart!52

Entry 1 
Don’t worry about what you’re going to do (write a book, go to school, become this or that), what you do
doesn’t determine who you are, it’s a reflection of who you are.

• Be still, be happy, embody love and what you do will take care of itself.

Entry 2 
Science Channel Special: “Geniuses”53

The real “Rain Man” – Kim Peek

• Memorizes 98% of everything he reads – Everything!

• “Seban’s” syndrome? Spelling?

Ariel Landre, 10, pianist in Israel

Ben Pridmore

• Memorized fifty 13# barcodes while shopping

• Can memorize entire deck of cards in less than 30 seconds

Einen Kelly, 8, Singapore

• Genius level in chemistry

Akiana, 13, self-taught artist

• The most beautiful, intricate pictures I’ve ever seen.

• Homeschooled, doesn’t study anything she doesn’t want to – literally no math, paints 5 hours a day,
often days without break.xiii

Entry 3 
Next World: Future Superhuman

Sub-vocal speech






























































52

From
my
Mom,
who
bought
me
the
journal
so
that
I’d
have
something
to
write
my
thoughts
in
(I
had
wanted

one
for
a
long
time
but
refused
to
pay
for
one,
lol).

53

ALL
OF
THIS
WAS
MY
PRECURSOR
TO
TED.COM!
It’s
EXACTLY
what
I
had
in
mind!

 • Developed at NASA now
• Telepathic communication

Contact lens with internet/gps/everything

• Developed at University of Washington now

Dr. Rudolph Linus, NYU

• Nanotech: see without eyes, BE in someone else’s brain

Dr. Sam Stupp, Northwestern

• Uses nanostructures 100,000 times smaller than human hair to regenerate body parts

Craig Venter

• Mapping the human genome

Dr. Steffanson, Iceland: Decode Genetics

• Only 300,000 people in Iceland

• Longest living people in the world

Dr. Howard Chang, Stanford

• Every 28 days, All your skin cells change: so the cells aren’t aging, it’s our genes telling the cells to be
the way they are
• Can deactivate this gene in mice – literally stopping the aging process!

Dr. David Sinclair, Harvard

• Calorie restriction: when a cell scars, it builds up regenerative tissue that lives 30-60% longer; it works
on mice, fish, everything it’s been tested on!
• They’ve identified the molecule that replicates this process and think they can have it in pill form
within 10 years!

Entry 4 
One person’s “strange” is another’s magnificent; one person’s “abnormal/unnatural” another’s exemplary.

We really have no clue the extent to which the human species can go; of the potential – or even workings – of
the human brain or psyche.

We don’t know how we work, why we’re here, where we are, when we are….the list is endless!

Entry 5 
Realization: Understanding doesn’t lead to happiness; happiness leads to understanding.
 • In other words, when I’ve been the happiest is when I’ve experienced more realization, growth,
insight, etc. When focusing on understanding everything, explaining it, really getting to it, well, the
more stressed, egoic, cognitive and overall unhappy I am.
• So it seems both more pleasurable and practical (philosophically, spiritually, physically, etc.) to simply
focus on living each day joyfully. It is in doing so that you will understand.

For me, this means I need to focus all my attention on being at one with the universe, conscious, happy, etc.
It is only in that state that I will be free to experience true realization/awakening. For so easily the
ego/identity takes control and becomes the lens through which I view literally everything. For me, it’s being
the best, standing for something, being a leader, a difference maker, someone IMPORTANT. It’s these
feelings and thoughts that shape my entire human experience: In positive ways by pushing forward, striving
for genuine accomplishment, helping others, etc.; in negative ways by making me selfish, not truly engaging
other humans, being overly cognitive, insecure, afraid, etc. BUT, it’s only when I’m insecure/unhappy in the
first place that the ego has any room to grow. Even more, when I focus and try to understand and dissolve
the ego, the more quickly I become trapped within it again. Those same feelings/thoughts are activated due
to the illusion of self I have being threatened in one way or another. But when I am free of insecurity and
illusion of identity – or at least conscious of my attachments – then the ego never comes and I can see more
clearly the truth and beauty of reality.

Entry 6 
What is possible? A very interesting thing to think about…

Entry 7 
The need to understand vs. needing to understand

• The latter is what we currently experience. I don’t just want to understand, nor do I think it necessary
in any way, yet I need to because I’m addicted to being viewed and of viewing myself as a “Knower.”
In other words, we all fear not-knowing. Really think about that. Without this fear, there is no
religion as we know it – only beliefs, nothing to cling to or defend, compare, exclude, etc.54
• So my “search for truth” is nearly always – in a very unconscious yet influential way – controlled by
my illusion of a self that is insecure about not-knowing.
• Therefore, I am not searching for truth, but am, in fact, simply defending an insecurity.

Thus to truly understand, I must first be free of illusion. This leads to truth. But remember not to look at it as
something to gain/improve you, etc. because those thoughts lead to a self that is gaining/improving which
then leads to ego and thus insecurity.

Be Free. Be Happy. Be Truth.

• And note that “being happy” also involves a self that is happy instead of sad, at peace rather than
suffering, etc. This is polarity because this is still form.






























































54

There
could
and
will,
of
course,
be
beliefs.
However,
the
Institution
of
religion
will
be
unnecessary;
only

communion
with
all
your
fellow
human
beings.

 • No, the “happiness” I’m referring to is beyond all that. It’s not due to this or because of that; it just
is. Tap into the true reality of things not because it changes you or makes you happy or anything like
that, but simply because you know it to be true.

It’s not understanding I seek, it’s understanding what/that I understand; being able to explain it, show it off,
make me special, etc. THESE reactions are due to ego, due to illusion. You cannot change them, you can
only dissolve them. You can go past them to true understanding, but when you try to understand what you
understand, you creep back down a level to an ego finding importance in understanding that which we
understand. It’s an over-identification with mere cognitive ability.

• Going past this dissolves all underlying insecurities to reveal truth.

Entry 8 
If it can be said, it is not true

• The tao that can be spoken of is not the true tao: Tolle, Tao Te Ching.

Entry 9 
Watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 

• Child-like joy in others being happy – Santa Clause too

• Look at the true, unadulterated joy of a child who wants to make another happy. When do we lose
this? Or better, we never lose it because it’s who/what we are – so when do we forget we have/are
it?55

Babies and object permanence

• As babies, we make part of our identity anything we come into contact with: I am this cup, these
clothes, that toy, etc.
• There might be truth to this! Are we really not these things? Are we separate at all?

Entry 10 
What is “I” anyway? Your body, possessions, thoughts, ideas, intellect, personality, accomplishments, abilities,
creations…the list can go on forever!

• I’m not my thoughts, what I can do, have done or will do, what I have, who likes me, what I know,
etc.
• I am I am – TRULY realize this! 

Teaching: Tolle in cafes, park benches, etc: I’m not “teaching,” I’m just being space – yes I say things, people
realize things, etc., yet I am “doing” nothing, I simply am.

Entry 11 





























































55

Show
baby/children
videos.
Allow
them
to
SEE
this.
“Babies”
movie??

Every single time any of this doesn’t make sense, it’s because you are literally identified with some form
(usually thought about it, etc.)

• Even if it doesn’t “makes sense,” that just means that right now, in this moment, you are this way
(not understanding or whatever). Accept that fully, feel the “space” around your situation.
• This isn’t something that you “get” or that “makes sense,” etc. It is literally beyond that, it just is.

Entry 12 
Dr. Lucas suggestions 12/9/0956

“Be As You Are” by David Godman; Ramana Maharshi; Krishnamurti

Advice: Don’t worry about the future or what you’re going to do next. Realize the significance of the
breakthrough you’ve experienced and just abide in it: just be, relax. You’re in the current now, so whatever
you need you’ll know if you’re just present and still.

I think this is exactly what I needed to hear. The reason I’ve been suffering is because I’ve turned this
wonderful realization into another “thing” that I either have or don’t have and I worry about what to do with
“it,” haha.

If I want to know what I “should” do or what’s “next,” first of all realize that’s entirely the ego, lol. Second of
all, know that the only way to receive these answers is to not “think” about them, but to simply be present!

Entry 13 
“Is spaciousness – at this moment – being obscured by things?” (thoughts, emotions, reactions, etc.)

“You become a teacher the moment you meet someone in stillness.” – Tolle

Don’t solve it, dissolve it!

Entry 14 
Ask the series of questions:

• Compared to from your house to your neighbors, how far away is the remote control?
• Close, somewhat close, far, very far (multiple choice)
• Compared to from here to the moon, etc.
• If you win the lottery, is it good or bad?
• What if winning the lottery makes x happen, and so on…
• Show that terms like these are, by definition, relative. SHOW it.

If you’re concerned with doing, you’re not happy with being!

Entry 15 






























































56

One
of
my
Religious
Studies
professors
from
College.

If you can’t sit on a park bench for 30 minutes just looking around and not be filed with joy, then you are still
looking through the lens of the ego.xiv The same with looking at someone deeply, feeling the breeze, smelling
a flower, etc. Really, you should feel the joy of being at all times, a sense of deep inner peace should infuse all
experiences with joy and appreciation.xv

Life really is that simple, it’s just that the ego loves to complicate it. Life is a shared experience with all other
life forms. In human form, we have the culmination of polaric potential; that of extreme love and extreme
hate; joy/unhappiness; peace/war; etc.xvi

Entry 16 
It is in this form that we see the potential to transcend form; to – for the first time – experience life beyond it,
beyond polarity, and go directly to the source of being. Sure, this sounds wishy washy or out of the Matrix or
something, but it really is true. Words don’t suffice when trying to explain the transition in consciousness.
They fail precisely because they are still form. You can’t transcend form with form, nor can you describe the
transcending of form by using form. Yet, we can point to such a change with words and we can feel the truth
of it.

Entry 17 
Art of Happiness Realization:57

• Resistance to change: relationship story of “things just aren’t the same anymore” mentality leading to
divorce. All we must do is recognize that just like in our individual lives, we develop from infancy to
childhood to adulthood to old age, so too do our relationships, emotions, thoughts, etc. All we need
to do is accept change and look to other methods and ways to relate to our partners (or ourselves,
our emotions, etc.) to see that life simply is change.

For me, this is what is happening with my lack of passion about my realization. It’s not as intense anymore,
my emotions seem more varying at times, which had me afraid I had “lost” the realization or had slipped
back into unconsciousness.

BUT, it’s just changed, that’s all. The intensity isn’t the same because that’s natural. It will come and it will go.
Let it be.

My emotions seem more varying because I’m now conscious of them! They used to be unconscious,
underlying influencers of then more conscious thoughts, emotions, etc. leading to action. But now you are
aware of the undercurrent, which makes it seem like you’re always changing. Well, you are, and you were, and
you always will be, you’re just aware of that now is all 

Entry 18 
Hold me tight. Put me down. Leave me alone.58

• All emotional cycles are this.






























































57

Reference.
(Dalia
Lama)

58

Where
is
this
from?
Art
of
Happiness?
Tolle?

 Entry 19 
Random High Thought:

There is no need in Christianity for this “oh woe is me, it should have been me but it had to be you”
mentality; this “I’m so unworthy” attitude…YOU ARE FORGIVEN. You believe it, start acting like it! If
you forgive your friend, you don’t want him thanking you and beating himself up about not “deserving” it all
the time. God’s the same way. Look at Jesus on the cross forgiving with all his heart even those torturing him
and ultimately murdering him. If they were forgiven, surely you are!

“For they know not what they do.” There’s only two possible scenarios here: 1) You’re forgiven. Drop it. Be
happy. Or 2) You’re not guilty because “you know not what you do.” Jesus spoke this truth!

• This will help just like it did Brian 59

Entry 20 
“As we come to understand this, we will no longer react with horror or panic when we first notice ourselves
‘growing apart” from x, any more than we would panic while watching the tide go out at the seashore.”

• I LOVE this analogy.

Entry 21 
You can reconcile the desire for improvement with that you ought to always be in the now, not desiring
change, by the fact that:

1. This is a natural, evolutionary impulse to evolve – not to become better, but simply to continue
existing.
2. Also, we’re not even changing, we’re just realizing what we already are.

This is not something “to get” or that you have, it’s something you ARE! Thus, there’s nothing to remember,
nothing to shout on the rooftops or stress about, it’s something to BE!

Counter this with realizing that thoughts, emotions – all ego – are things you have, not that you are. Your
body, everything. And it’s in confusing these things with what you are that causes nearly all suffering.

Then, once we realize we aren’t these things, we confuse this realization with something we have, something
to obtain or even become, yet we already ARE it!

And it’s in confusing this that suffering continues, even though we “know” we aren’t these things. First we
realize what we’re not, next is to realize what we are.

Entry 22 





























































59

I
had
spoke
about
this
with
a
member
of
my
family’s
church.
He
had
some
trouble
in
the
Church
softball
league

with
not
losing
his
temper
at
other
players
who
didn’t
take
the
game
seriously.
I
told
him
about
emotions
and
how

you
can
become
the
observer
of
the.
Using
Christian
language,
he
was
able
to
understand
the
concept
and
it
really

helped
him
“not
feel
bad/guilty”
about
the
emotions
that
kept
arising.

The Answer to The Question

Why are we here? To evolve.

You can see evolution everywhere; destruction and death leads to sustained life. Threatening existence sparks
evolution, paradigm shifts. Tolle’s examples: butterflies, rocks to diamonds, flowers, and now, human
consciousness. We have evolved to where we have consciousness of ourselves as separate from the whole.
Look at all animals: you can see the evolutionary progression towards consciousness. All are unconsciously
acting out impulses, yet we can become aware of these impulses, choose which to allow, etc. And Now, we’re
moving past seeing ourselves as separate and are beginning to see that we’re all connected, all the same, that
this is all even an illusion. Objects don’t exist, separateness is an illusion created by our minds in order to
make sense of reality for our 3rd dimensional brains. It’s just that we haven’t evolved yet to the point where
our brains can properly process what we’re receiving. 2,000 bits out of 400 billion, that’s all!

So that’s what we’re doing here: evolving. To what? For what reason? We can’t know simply because we
haven’t evolved there yet. Answers exist, we just need to discover them!

Entry 23 
There’s no need to beat yourself up for not being able to keep this state of mind. It’s not only where we are in
the evolutionary process of humankind, but has also been reinforced your whole life as all you’re capable of.
You’ve literally, unconsciously, been your thoughts, emotions, body, etc. and believed that’s all you were.
You’ve realized now you are not these things, but realizing what you are will take much time and work. You
have to deconstruct the barrier’s you’ve inherited and unconsciously reinforced your whole life. You don’t
have to DO anything to be what you are, but you do have to UNDO all the obstacles/layers you’ve put
around what you are.

• Star Wars Death Star example 60

Entry 24 
The entire point of suffering is to point beyond it.

We suffer so that we realize that suffering doesn’t exist.

All evolution in nature occurs out of necessity: a specie’s existence is threatened, thus it has to adapt in order
to survive. We see this in everything!

YET, there are processes beyond this: diamonds, flowers….human consciousness! Our minds are about to
blossom and point beyond what you we’ve always thought ourselves to be. We are consciousness becoming
conscious of itself!

As humans, we are at the evolutionary stage where we no longer have to have our existence threatened in
order to evolve. Just like diamonds and flowers, we can express beauty for its own sake, because we choose to
(although I’m not sure if flowers “choose” this, lol). Yet, you can see we’re doing this, through war, pollution,






























































60

Ha,
tell
this
one.
It’s
awesome


murder (suicide is the ultimate example); we’re not ready to do this, so nature is forcing us to evolve; we’re
forcing ourselves to!

And some have begun the process! Buddha, Jesus, and many along the way, have pointed to these truths, yet
you see what we’ve done with their messages. The virus of the ego is threatening to destroy its host, and
we’re letting it!

Entry 25 
Love is all you need (listening to it now )…we all realize on a very deep, profound level that all we need is
love, to give, that in doing this we find true happiness (I Cor. 13!)…yet the ego convinces us of the opposite
and we allow it and even identify with it. And then we create “good and bad” in order to explain it all away,
create past and future to avoid dealing with the Now….And thus the human drama.

Human biology shows this! (What the Bleep!) We’re addicted to our own mind dramas! (Look at TV to see
how addicted to drama we are!) But most of all is the drama of the mind. We’re literally identified with it!

• This is a chemical, biological addiction, so we’ll go through withdrawal just like any other addiction.
You will become unconscious over and over again while you wean your body of the drug.
• You simply must re-train your brain (meditation) and reorganize your emotional controls in order to
operate as a whole: mind/body/spirit.
• Up until now, we’ve BEEN the mind and all its drama – and we’ve seen movements of shifting
towards other parts: spiritual movements renouncing the body, antispiritual movements renouncing
the spirit for the body, and everything in between.
• Now, we’re realizing the balance of life and how to manage it. We’re evolving!

Entry 26 
Maria: “But won’t I lose my love for my mother, looking for a mate, enjoying life…won’t all this fade away?”

• Yes and no. Much of what you think is positive (love, emotions, etc.) is actually mere attachment,
ease of your insecurities and suffering, it is re-action, not action. These things you will lose.
• But in their place you will discover, for the first time, what true love is; you’ll feel emotions for the
first time (not just unconsciously become them); you’ll experience all the same things, just be able to
choose which to allow. This doesn’t say anything is bad, it just gives you the ability to choose for
yourself (and shows which are factually unhealthy and why).

Entry 27 
I need not worry about writing any of this down, remember it, etc….because it’s something I AM, not
something to have or to show or understand or explain. I just need to BE it. Words will come, evolution will
push me to share it, but because that’s part of its nature, part of what I am: an evolving consciousness striving
to become conscious of itself. But be careful that you don’t confuse what you do with what you are. Focus on
being and the doing will flow naturally. Focus on doing and you become unconscious of being (what you
are!).

Entry 28 
Drugs give us a glimpse of something different. When high, we laugh that we’re afraid, even petrified. We
view these emotions objectively, often literally for the first time in our existence (since being babies, ha).

This is neither good nor bad, it’s just different. But for emotions, thoughts, perceptions (all senses), we can
experience them differently and thus become conscious of them. We begin to think rather than have thinking
happen. Just like becoming conscious of breathing, we can of all thought and emotion, thus viewing them
objectively, thus realizing we are not them, thus finally beginning the journey to discovering what we are.61

But people also go below mind quite easily, become addicted, etc. Thus drugs are neither good nor bad, they
just help us make a better informed decision – and can intensify the consequences either way (presence or
complete unconsciousness). Plus, some drugs are more helpful and others more harmful; some very risky,
others not so much.

Weed for me has been extremely helpful and mildly difficult to manage. I can go below mind at times (lock
up the brownies and mega-queso Doritos if I do, lol), yet this is not really unhealthy, just stupid. Only in
extreme cases do people use weed unhealthily (Steve) and these people would probably have done much
worse to themselves if they did anything instead of weed; so even then, it’s more the lesser of evils.

Plus, it has the extreme upside that I already explained; giving us a glimpse from a higher perspective (another
dimension, if you will).

I don’t know, but imagine LSD is even crazier (in both healthy and unhealthy ways).62

Entry 29 
For Maria: You’re never alone because not only are you connected with everyone and everything, you ARE
them! Separateness is an illusion and loneliness is the mind-made dramatic reaction to it. We feel this
connection most strongly with other similar forms, i.e. other humans, because we’re at a similar level, we can
relate. Yet ALL forms have this same energy, just in different intensities. We experience it sometimes in
flowers, sunsets, puppies, etc. The freshness and beauty intrinsic to ALL things shines through to us in
glimpses. You just need to open your eyes more often 

Entry 30 
My desire for leadership, attention, etc….all this I usually feel bad about, beat myself up over….or, at least,
think is immature. Yet, even these are natural evolutionary impulses. Males seek to be the leader, fight for it,
die for it! Evolutionarily, it makes sense to get power so that you influence most effectively the continuance
of you and your specie’s existence; this is a natural impulse of all forms! So don’t feel bad about it, just
recognize it for what it is: simply a base, evolutionary impulse. You then add to it identity, ego, etc., and yes, it
can become something very unhealthy. Just don’t give it any energy, don’t strengthen your identity with it,
dissolve it. Then all you have left is biology.

From this, I know not to deny these impulses, but embrace them: my DNA wants to be a leader, others want
to be followers, others shown the way, others to lead themselves, but ALL to evolve!xvii





























































61

Breathing
is
semi‐conscious.
In
other
words,
you’ve
been
breathing
all
day…all
your
life…but
do
you
choose
to
do

this
or
does
it
happen
“in
the
background”?
It’s
a
cool
example
because
it
can
be
both.
So
can
everything!

62

Actually,
LSD
is….(gooddrugguide.com)

So just realize all this for what it is; put it in perspective, and it will lose its power. You can then choose what
will influence you and what won’t.

Entry 31 
SO….what do you DO with all this?? You know all this is true, but now what? Ha 

• You BE, Notice, Share, Love. You LIVE, EXIST!

• In every moment, you experience to the furthest extent you can all the beauty in the world, you laugh
and you love and give and spread peace.
• And through this, you experience your purpose, you follow your path and allow the divine destiny of
the universe to unfold. You evolve and transform, all the while being conscious of the entire
experience/process.
• And after it’s all over and this form fades away, you continue the process of constant change, just like
the water becomes steam which become clouds which becomes rain which becomes our water which
becomes steam and so on!!....We, too, change and continue in the evolutionary process of
consciousness becoming conscious of itself.
• John Lennon’s “Imagine” 

We can see in nature that the evolutionary process can take millions of years (in our concept of time)….so
with the Buddha starting this process, we could be in for quite a ride! Yet, in human form we can transcend
the normal process and choose to transform! What a powerful and profound responsibility! With all new
abilities resulting from evolution, we see the ability to use them in healthy or unhealthy ways: consciousness
comes with both the most potential and risk.

We thus need to constantly be on guard – Way of the Peaceful Warrior 63

Entry 32 
It’s amazing just how below mind and unconscious of ourselves we are as a human race. Sex drives so much
of everything! Advertisements and TV reinforce the most mundane, insignificant parts of ourselves and
perpetuates the illusion that it’s ALL we are! Incredible! We’re barely better than gorillas!xviii

Yet we’ve had exceptions! Jesus, Buddha, etc., and we’re seeing a shift! It’s just clear we’re a far way away
from true realization (on dimension 3 of 10, lol)64xix

But only far away as an entire species. Tolle speaks of a shift happening now on a grand scale; and I can feel it
intensely within my own presence.

Be the change you want to see in the world!

Entry 33 
Book ideas:






























































63

Provide
quote/reference.

64

10
Dimension
link
and
explanation

 • Welcome to Life/Living
• The Power of Perspective
• Going Beyond
• The Answer to The Question

Entry 34 
I don’t want to survive, I want to live!!

• Economic policies need to distinguish this! Things may prolong existence, but not life.

Entry 35 
“Do you ever dream about who you’re going to be, Forrest?”

• “Won’t I be me?” – Forrest Gump

Entry 36 
Watching Gustavo clean, thinking “what a good spirit he has of keeping things in order.”

• I need to shift my focus from universal, bigger than life orderliness, to more personal orderliness.
• It’s in focusing inward that we make sense of the outward; in making our world smaller that we make
it bigger 
• My room is always a mess! Everything is dirty and disorganized. I just need to apply my sense of
pride and determination towards big things to smaller ones 

Entry 37 
Sitting, wiggling my toes, I realized I couldn’t move my little toe very well: this, we can relate to the mind!

It may surprise you that you can’t move or use something that you’ve always had (toes, ears, eyebrows, etc.)
or even that you can’t stretch or move in a way that others, who’ve simply practiced, can do. Well, the mind is
exactly like that! We’ve always worked out/exercised our “knowledge” or accumulation of memorized
thoughts, as if it were ALL our minds can do. Yet through concentration, we can begin to isolate and
eventually control all thinking and feeling. We can become much more aware of our own inner workings and
of how to better utilize them both for the betterment of ourselves (happiness, contentment, fulfillment, life of
purpose, etc.) and of others (peace, love, mutual caring, selflessness, etc.). ALL we have to do is try!

You’ve simply not known it was even something you were capable of at all! Well, as Tolle would say, you’ve
been unconscious. In other words, you’ve not even been “You,” but merely the acting out of thoughts and
emotions.

So just try meditation. Begin to witness, for the first time objectively, all your thoughts and emotions. You
don’t have to STOP thinking or feeling anything. All I’m asking is that you become aware of what you already
are thinking and feeling. Then, you can simply make a better-informed decision 

Entry 38 
BUT HOW DO I CHANGE??

• Art of Happiness/Dalai Lama:65

1. Learning
2. Conviction
3. Determination
4. Effort
5. (Sense of urgency)

Entry 39 
At first, my biggest criticism of The Power of Now was that it all seemed like a big trick. Simply change your
perspective, focus on the now, and everything will be okay!

But, you see, we’re always looking at things from a perspective. It IS just a mind trick, because everything is a
mind trick! The point to realize is precisely this: you ALWAYS have a perspective, so why not make it the
most effective one? This changes our understanding of reality as “out there,” constant, certain, and reveals
that reality only exists through the confines (lens) of our interpretation. Thus, it’s just obvious that we should
work on understanding the various perspectives we can take on life and on particular situations in order to
live better and healthier.

Not only will this improve your life, your emotional state, feelings of happiness, etc., but will also increase the
peace around you and your ability to help others!

Entry 40 
Quick Thoughts:

• How “World Peace” literally comes down to simply being happy. What we see in the world today is
countries, ideologies, etc. leading to war, violence, etc….BUT, it all starts with unhappy individuals!
All we need to do is change the momentum (talk about the power of positive momentum, show it!)
• Meditation is the same as intellectual studying: just another aspect of the mind that the West doesn’t
understand. (In other words, seeing someone meditate and think they’re “doing nothing” is the same
as seeing someone study for a test and thinking the same thing.)
• Split personalities? (Primal Fear)
• Show different possible extreme reactions with only one person NOT reacting being changed:66
1. Arguments between couples, friends, criminals, parents, kids, siblings, everything.
2. Show the simple chain of cause and effect that leads to all anger/hate/selfishness/etc.

Entry 41 
The Language of Life






























































65

Reference/elaboration

66

Elaborate.

Learning how to be present is like learning another language. It’s not extremely difficult when we’re young,
we pick it up quite naturally over time and just need a little guidance. Yet, when older, it’s very difficult
because we already have a frame of reference; we compare everything to what we know already.

Being present – not identifying with our thoughts/emotions/ego – not becoming unconsciously these things,
is so extreme only because of how engrained what we’re comparing it to is. With language, we know they’re
just tools and that there are others, so our resistance isn’t a major hindrance. But with presence, we don’t
even know there are other options because we’re unconsciously trapped within our current view of reality.
BUT, it’s only difficult because of the illusion. If taught to us as kids, we’d pick it up gradually quite easily 

This metaphor works perfectly! There’s objective rules, room for creativity – it’s exactly like a language!67

Entry 42 
The goal isn’t to understand what went wrong, it’s to be right.

• So don’t focus so much on understanding, but on being.

• It’s okay to understand – it’s obviously a natural compulsion and ability of mine; just make sure it’s
secondary to being 

Entry 43 
Avatar 3D

• My eyes slowly adjusted to it – realizing it looked more and more “real” until, at the end, I was
unconscious. This shows how we accept the reality we’re given.
• This life is just 4D, but still only an accepted illusion.

Pain realization:

• Catching a hangnail, shaking my hand, thinking “that really hurt!” for about 30-45 seconds before
realizing, in that moment, that I wasn’t hurting at all! The pain was quite short-lived (maybe a second
or two); it only continued to exist in my mind drama.
• Nearly ALL “suffering” is this!

Entry 44 
Balsamico Café Realizations:68

• “Pride and Prejudice” was only 200 years ago; our great grandmother.69
• Guitarist, all musicians, only possible by not “thinking”; it’s only not amazing because so many
people can do it, but miracles are everywhere!
• Women batteries: only need a glimpse of sincerity (passion) to overlook 99.9% of their brain telling
them otherwise.






























































67

Elaborate.

68

Elaborate
on
all…

69



 • Like Monsters, Inc: Males say scream (order, respect, discipline, etc.); Women laugh!
• Lack of presence is the pebble in the shoe of humanity.
• Glimpses into another (7th?) dimension!
• Seeing all of human history as a clear chain of cause and effect, of consciousness evolving to
become conscious of itself.
• Realizing I no longer feel insecure, nor even think about, a girl paying for me. I used to be extremely
insecure about girls paying (examples)
• The thought of what the waiter, or whoever, might think happens without me knowing it
causing the feeling of insecurity and anxiousness. I then notice I feel insecure and wonder
why. Step 1 s realizing it’s because you thought x. Step 2 is beginning to notice your
thoughts and view them objectively, thereby not identifying with them and stopping them
from causing you to feel anything. Step 3 is, like tonight, realizing the thoughts have stopped
and that it’s no longer an issue at all.
• I think it’s the opposite for women: emotions arise which then cause thoughts. This is why,
for me, it made sense to tell Val it’s not reasonable to feel certain ways (because thoughts
cause emotions and thoughts could be unreasonable) yet for her you couldn’t question an
emotion, only thoughts!
• People always ask what I’m “doing” with my life…I’m not doing, I’m being! The doing (working on
LearnEnglishInColombia.com, importing, stocks, RGOS, this) flows naturally when I pay attention
to the flow of the universe!
• I’m also simply being self-aware – being conscious – of my thoughts, emotions, and the
otherwise unconscious chain of cause and effect that results from them.
• People are literally identified with their thoughts; it’s no wonder we all are so unhappy, we
must think we’re horrible because all of us have horrible thoughts! Sexual, selfish, whatever,
they’re bad! So if we’re identified with that, God help us!

Entry 45 
Looking at my joint thinking: “It may not be the answer, but it is the solution!” 

• This is a good metaphor though! Psychology, drugs (medicinal ones!), therapy, consoling each other,
etc. – these are all solutions (bandaids), but the answer is presence!
• So yes, solutions are necessary, but the end to the need for all solutions is the answer – to be present!
Like the pebble in the shoe, dealing with your headache requires a solution, but the answer is taking
out the pebble.70

Entry 46 
In a movie, you either “get lost” in it, or you become bored with it. We even talk about this in reviews; how
you have moments in a movie where you “wake up” and realize you’re in a movie.71 Movies with these
moments bore us. Well, it’s the same in real life! We’re either lost in it – unconsciously identified with ego (in






























































70

Elaborate?

71

Plenty
of
examples
of
this
(including
latest
Cruise
interview
about
his
new
movie;
he
literally
says
the
point
is
to

lose
yourself
for
a
few
hours,
LOL).

the form of thoughts/emotions) – or we’re bored (we’re fundamentally unaware of our reality). Life is like
our movie, the mental drama we perceive as reality.

Entry 47 
Convincing people they’re addicted to drama (nearly everyone will deny it)

Just look at movies: we literally love drama, the more the better. Really look at movies – don’t get caught up –
just observe, specifically the music and how it’s meant – and succeeds – at “lulling” us in!

• Why else would we like them? It’s the DRAMA!xx

Really think about how you “lose yourself” in the movies. This is what I mean by “unconscious.” You’re still
there but you’re not all there! This is exactly the kind of “wake up” you can do but in real life!

• The moments you do wake up in real life are considered “life crisis’s” (mid-life, etc.). Think about it!

Entry 48 
A Few Good Men:

Jack Nicholson talking about looking down the gun of a blood-hungry Cuban.

• It’s amazing how we justify what we do. We look at how evil our enemy is and say it’s because they’re
evil that we must, for our own good, do evil. Then, our enemies say the exact same thing. And before
you know it, both are right! In order to protect themselves, they have to kill the enemy first because,
if they don’t, their enemy will kill them. And both are “justified”!
• All it takes is 1 stupid act to cause this whole process!

What kind of people are running our military, or better, our country??

• Business, politics, government, law: these are the worst examples of the human race, yet they are its
leaders!

Entry 49 
Don’t See, Be Seen.

• It’s like seeing with your ears or hearing with your eyes. Look at everything as if it were looking
directly into your eyes.

Entry 50 
The pain body evolves (has evolved) too. You can see it in animals; they freak out very rarely; and its
intensified with serious events when the animal has not yet evolved past complete unconsciousness
identification with form.
 • Really cool to think about!72

Entry 51 
Just like food critics can train their tongue to distinguish between 14 different aspects of taste, where it
stimulates the tongue and so on…so too can we train the brain, it’s just another muscle!73 It’s only much
more complex and thus much more powerful!

• This is a good follow-up to the boredom/movie line of thought.

Entry 52 
What the Bleep Do We Know (watching with Maria)

Just like my atoms make up my cells which make up my tissue which make up my body which makes up
me…Well, it keeps going! “You” then make up the human species which makes up the Planet Earth which
makes up the Galaxy, the Universe, all possible results from our big bang, infinity! Then all possible infinities
resulting from different primary conditions, then the infinity of all infinities…to the 10th dimension, the final
point, God, You, Me.

And this whole experience is God, us, choosing to become unconscious in order to experience the evolution
of becoming conscious. Thus nothing matters, it all doesn’t exist, is nothing, is insignificant!

And YET, it’s also the entire point of why we’re here, the Now! We’re choosing to experience becoming
conscious through the very realization of its insignificance. Thus our experiences and all that is are
simultaneously completely insignifacnt AND completely significant!

ME (Kevin), my role as a separate entity – as part of the entity of the human species (or even of all that is,
who knows) is to evolve! That is clearly my natural state: pushing, challenging, evolving! And even more, to
share that process, teach it, show the way. Even superficially, I’ve always only enjoyed shared experiences. For
all my life, I’ve “needed,” and even now prefer, to share my experiences and realizations. This is not good or
bad or healthy or unhealthy – it’s just what this manifested form is here to do. Kyle is here to be happy, at
peace, enjoy life. He knows he’s God, he really does, and he’s just chillin . As part of the same entity, we
balance each other out! I rely on him and he on me. PLUS, we see this within each person – thoughts and
emotions, then, are the same: hate, love, etc., all combine to balance each other out. It goes on like this
forever!

Entry 53 
This choosing to become unconscious so that you can experience becoming conscious…is what I’m doing
with weed. I become unconscious because I know that, in doing so, I can experience becoming conscious!
This experience is invigorating and ultimately enlightening. Thus we, God, have chosen to become individual,
separate entities of consciousness that believe themselves to literally be separate; we are unconscious and
evolving to become aware of true reality.






























































72

Not
sure
what
I
meant
here?
Lol.

73

Link
to
this
(mentioned
in
Blink
I
think)

 • The 10 dimension video shows how we, conceptually, come to this realization, step by step. Yet our
brains have not evolved to where it can project that reality yet. You see just like the moonwalking
bear; our brain projects what it wants us to see, thus we are not even “seeing” what we’re actually
“seeing.” And our brains, even though we know what isn’t there, still cannot see what is there. The
“Now” concept is all we can truly “experience” so far…and glimpses into the 4th dimension (ESP)
and memories of past lives (glimpsing other dimensions/realities[omniverse]).
• When we look at a comb, we still see it and think of your mother and think how she just died and
how much you miss her and how lonely you are and wonder how long this will last, will I ever be
happy, God just hates me, and so on and so on…ALL from a comb! In other words, we’re not
“seeing” what we’re “seeing” because so much is still conceptual thinking.

Entry 54 
I keep forgetting that there’s nothing to remember 

I can never remember that there’s nothing to forget 

This isn’t something to remember or understand or get, it’s what I AM, it’s simply True. Thus I can’t “forget”
it because there is no “it” to forget. I either know what I am or I’m unconscious, that’s all.

Entry 55 
Thinking in the shower about how drugs aren’t “bad,” they’re just dangerous if you’re not mature enough to
handle them. So all we need to do is make that distinction in our own minds and in the public forum. Drugs
aren’t “bad” for you, you just need to be very careful. People aren’t “bad” for doing them, just
immature/ignorant. These aren’t “criminals,” nor should they go to jail, they’re immature and need
teaching/counseling.

• The same can be said of people! People are not bad nor do they do “bad” things; they’re just
immature and/or ignorant.

Drugs are thus exactly like emotions and thoughts! Emotions are scientifically the exact same thing as drugs:
chemicals that alter our cells (What The Bleep). Thus emotions and thoughts aren’t “bad,” just dangerous
with the immature. Humanity is simply too immature right now. Just like drug addicts, we can’t get enough,
we identify with our drugs affect on us, we fear losing it, become completely different people, do horrible
things you could never imagine doing…well, that’s how we all are with emotions! We do things we otherwise
never would, we become completely different people! And it’s all because we’re unconscious, addicted to the
drug of drama/emotion/etc.! All we need is help weening ourselves from the addictive pull of becoming
unconscious.

• This is exactly like my doing drugs to become unconscious example the other day
• Equilibrium the movie! I can see people extrapolating that from what I just said. Just like weed,
what’s merely dangerous we say is “bad” and must be outlawed!

Entry 56 
Questions for Tolle:
When I first saw that you charged for this service, I became immediately unconsciously mad at you. This is
the Truth! How could you charge money for simply speaking the truth? Did Jesus or Buddha?? What would
they say about this?! Ha, then I calmed down and at least convinced myself of the value of what you were
offering. I felt comfortable after measuring the value of what you were offering. And ultimately, I found
peace in realizing the hypocrisy of my claim: money doesn’t matter thus you must not charge it. Well, if it
upsets me, obviously it’s important to me! LOL, so now I’m at peace (I also saw you talk about charging
money in Practicing Presence). But, I’d like to hear your answer to this: What do you do with money? And
what do you suggest to do with money? What do you think of charity? Is this not merely putting a bandaid on
a recurring wound? How do we put money to its best use? How can we put it towards presence?

In my experience, I’ve found that thoughts lead to emotions for me, yet is it opposite for women? Use waiter
example and Val fights (Maria, too).

Marriage, sex, drugs, Beatles.

Entry 57 
April 23, 2010

Random Present Thoughts:

• Mutual funds close when having too much money because it hinders current shareholder interests.
Why aren’t ALL business like this? Once your employees become expendable, your original purpose
cannot be sustained. This is common sense. Only a blind hunger/greed would force us to ignore this.
• Resource-based economy: a big criticism is lack of incentive to work; who will clean toilets, for
example? But it’s just like household chores. We do it as families, as friends in an apartment, co-
workers, etc. We can do it for the world!
• Imagine traveling the world, eating gourmet foods, loving and being loved, and seven days a month
doing something for your community. I can imagine the entire economy beautifully functioning,
everyone happy. Money could even still be used for doing extra work. It could even be credits for
future time off, etc.
• Pulling off bringing a bag of cocaine into a grocery store, laughing, being completely normal. You
could do this easily. No one would “see” the coke because what you see is pre-processed by your
brain as what is 1) important (moonwalking bear) and 2) possible (What the Bleep). Thus, the
process of experiencing/interpreting reality is utterly subtle and complex. Hence we will walk on
water when we Know we can. Miracles don’t exist, and are everywhere in everything.

Entry 58 
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band!

Beatles and drugs: google this!

LSD is listed as definitely NOT increasing creativity nor having any positive use…

• You MUST be kidding!

• 4 of the 10 best albums of all time, the #1!, each influencing and shaping an entire culture, each
withstanding the test of time (all heavily influenced by drug use).
 • Tolle says the Beatles music is from a place of presence!

Objectively – truly ignoring all public morals, laws, culture, etc. – how could you NOT try drugs? Just look at
all the significant people in human history who have! Look at the spiritual ramifications!

Listening to this album, I really am overwhelmed with how clear the connections are with drugs and these
types of realizations. “When you come back, it’s really not the same, it’s really not,” is what I just thought,
and it’s not! You view your thoughts and emotions very differently. You experience them differently! Thus
you break the former (unconscious) identification you had with them. You ultimately may decide to keep that
identity, but you become conscious of it!

And we make them illegal?!? Are you fucking kidding me? How immature can we be? How ego-controlled
and fear-based? These open our minds and spirits to the realm of the unknown and mysterious. We fly,
journey, travel through time and space to alternative realities and states of mind; we experience ego-death,
heightened states of senses (including pleasure – we just have to have a little self-control!), and we demonize
it! We put you in JAIL if you use it once!? I literally don’t believe it. We’re so young!

I picture the “New Earth” like this! We dance in fields, experiment with drugs, sing, dance, love everyone and
everything…it’d be so beautiful! All that’s in the way is ego, is unconsciousness!

I can’t believe this album exists! And it’s the #1 album of all time! How did I NOT listen to this? How does
this not make people questions things more? Look at “Within you, without you”! I mean WOW! And drugs,
the songs are clearly about them, and were written on them! Weed, cocaine, LSD: all fundamental in the #1
album of all time’s creation (they even say this about writing it!)

I got to get you in my life!! 

• I should draw more often! Art, music, dance…it’s what we’re here to do!

And oddly enough, I’m not that high at all right now, this is me 

I’m awakened while listening – truly listening – to this music (and watching the videos). They make me feel
alive, smile, be filled with joy. And yet we all miss it; our egos label them as unimportant thus we never truly
hear them, merely analyze them at best – truly unbelievable!

And we say LSD doesn’t increase creativity? What the fuck? This is a joke! Look into how this happened.
And Timothy Leary, the yoga Morahashi (?), where in India the Beatles went (and George Harrison?).

The “feeling” – of connectedness, deepness, aliveness – we get on drugs is the same as we get when seeing art
or listening to music, and especially when creating it! You flow through and lose yourself in it, it’s beautiful!
And they’re connected!

• We’re meant to do this! Experience this! Explore this! I get excited and happy about this while, at the
same time, foreseeing its limits as well, ultimately going beyond even this to true realization. But for
now it’s part of the journey! A necessary – or at least highly beneficial – step in the journey of
existence!

Drugs are like guns: extremely dangerous WHEN you don’t know what you’re doing
 • Making this analogy may reach people!

Hearing “Within you, without you” after coming down from the high, it’s amazing how less deep it sounds.
You hear it through the lens of conceptions, memory, labels; you don’t give it your full attention because your
mind already labeled it, categorized it, and moved on. Thus your mind wonders; you drift into thinking about
“more important” things!

Drugs don’t stop this, in fact at times they make it worse, but they’re portals for those who can or choose to
use them as such!

• Read Timothy Leary’s book about the Tibetan Book of the Dead; and look up Jon Lennon’s
connection to this (and the yogi)

But you don’t need drugs to experience life in this same, deep, more present, non-thinking way! This is
presence! This is our future!

“With a little help from my friends”

• If we need someone to love, that’s okay because we’re all one! Of course we should depend on each
other. The difference is we rely on each other in form, but not in our true essence, since we’re not
actually separate, we didn’t actually lose anything when someone dies; yet we mourn the loss of form,
of companionship, friendship, connection. Yet we mourn consciously, knowing that while we lost
the manifestation of x, we never lose anything!
• Funerals could/should encompass/use this!
• Dad was/is me. What a thought! I am my mother, my father, my brother, uncle, neighbor,
stranger – everyone AND every thing. Amazing!

Entry 59 
Cucunuba Round 3 (Third trip there)

Eating a sandwich after talking intensely to everyone for 2 hours and they’ve gone to bed. So now, I’m along
delving deeply into my thoughts (drifting in and out of them, unconsciously and consciously), then doing the
same with eating – the whole experience I see as just this: Well, it’s a balance between experiencing things,
being amazed by them, then talking about them. It takes experiencing it to explain it, so I want/need to
experience everything. Welcome to life.

• This is why God/Me/Us/Everything decided to become unconscious.

• Yet wait, if God is everything (the 10th dimension, all possibilities in all possible worlds in all possible
infinities), then God, in this moment, is also completely conscious of Him/Her/It/Our self/ves
(haha). Thus even my “justifying”/”explaining” why reality is the way it is – why and how form
works, etc. – even this isn’t the way things are, because it’s just one reality in the simultaneously
existent infinity of all possible realities. Yikes, that’s deep/crazy/true? 
• Try recording this stuff!!

Maria: “My mind noise was too loud.” I hear “Oh, I’m getting tired, I’m going to go to sleep.” But I notice it
this time and say, “No, I’m not tired, shut up!” And it’s easy to do that now! It gets easier with time!
 • I like “mind noise” – “thought” implies a thinker, implies activity; noise just happens, is inactive, is
not you. So you hear noise…ok, what do you do with it? 

Quick thoughts from what I’ve said this weekend:

• We’re so young, so unevolved (from before) yet no, it’s just that we’ve only developed mind first.
Mind, without presence, creates wonderful things: science, technology, etc. Our lives could be easy;
all could be fed. But that’s the high, the low is suffering caused by unconscious identification with
mind, in looking for self where there is no self. Cleverness is wonderful, but very dangerous; it must
be kept in check, placed in perspective.
• This has been the last 2,000 years. We’ve developed science, yet have identified more and more with
mind. And more than simply fail to develop soul/presence, we’ve shunned it! Drugs are bad!
Anything not “rational,” “logical,” “objective,” is immature, etc.
• So we’re both young and old; evolved and unevolved. But we can finally experience presence and
understand it! Even “prove” it with quantum physics!
• This is why I think the Mayans had 2012 right. When I’m present, truly present, I feel the current; the
evolutionary impulse of the universe gripping me and pulling me forward in realization. The Mayans
came out of nowhere with huge breakthroughs in astronomy, etc. How? They became present, were
caught in the current, were propelled to the next dimension of human evolution (they even
apparently could tell and map out when/how this occurs; I want to look into this more!)

Entry 60 
“A soft, well upholstered hell.” 

“It is a good things to experience everything oneself, he thought. As a child I learned that pleasures of the
world and riches were not good. I have known it for a long time, but I have only just experienced it. Now I
know it not only with my intellect, but with my eyes, with my heart, with my stomach. It is a good things to
know this.”  - both from Siddhartha, pg. 98.

Entry 61 
Where are you going? I am going nowhere. I am only on the way.

What are you doing? I am doing nothing. I only am.

Entry 62 
Objectified (Documentary)

Design is amazing! I now know why Apple has succeeded; it’s not performance (or cost! Ha), it’s design!

Emotional energy of products; BMW engineer quote:

• “We’re sculpting artistic products like Michelangelo yet we’re merely bending metal and plastic into a
stagnant, fixed form. What really matters is the way customers perceive products and scan/see them
in a way that reflects the emotional energy they want to feel.”
We’re incredibly intelligent! We truly can understand complex, intricate concepts/things! But there’s also Fox
News, lol. What we see is a disconnect between persons and people. Persons are incredibly smart, but people
are animals (examples of both). The disconnect is psychological only! We don’t hold each other to the same
basic standards of common sense that we do ourselves.74 And we’ve begun not even holding ourselves to it.
First our collective identity was merely dumber than our personal one. Now we’re becoming individually our
collective selves! We’re devolving, not evolving.

So design represents the emotional energy (identity) that is reflected in the product

• You’re making a statement about yourself to yourself!

• This is amazing! We’ve found the ego and instead of avoiding it, we’ve created an entire economy
around feeding it! We market to it!
• We tell a story with and through all objects! Designers know this intimately. Marketers know this,
governments know this, WE know this! We simply need to open our eyes.

What materials you use: we now use recyclable material because we have evolved to know the consequences
of how we make things and use them. We’ve realized the oneness/connectedness of the world.

• Next is to realize this about ourselves! Our products and the world are like our thoughts/emotions
and our lives. We simply need to recognize the consequences!
• We are just like products! We’ve become products – unconscious egos re-acting to the world. We just
need to recognize what thought and emotion does to ourselves – and thus our world – when
unchecked.
• Design for Debate!

Do a marketing campaign on behalf of things you already own. Our brains are so busy thinking about the
new developments (hurricane is coming in 20 minutes, grab your stuff!)

• “Meaningful objects reflect truly the true identity, the true narrative that tells your personal story of
who you are, what kind of person you are, etc. And you tell that story to yourself because that’s the
only audience that matters.”
• That’s the final quote of the documentary. What a great truth! This is the mind story, the current of
thought and emotion that we’re completely identified with, completely caught up in. We’re telling the
story of ourselves to ourselves! For all this to stop, all mind drama and world issues, all we need to
do is recognize it’s merely a story, not reality! All we need to realize is that it’s a choice.

Entry 63 
I don’t think (of) anything. But I listen, and the universe (in nature, other people, whatever) speaks through
me.

Entry 64 
Zeitgeist (first one)






























































74

Carlin
on
airplanes!

I think the whole conspiracy really could be true. In the shower, I thought of my giving a talk to a large group
of people and asking them to send me positive energy, to realize that it isn’t me giving them insight, or them
listening to me (subject/object relationship) but that we were all connected, all part of the same energy; thus
they are participating in a process, not listening to a lecture.

Go one more realm and you are here to listen to yourself! We are literally one, thus this is you thinking, you
living out a role-play game so that you can experience true realization beautifully and consciously!

Thus I think what the ego has done and is doing in each of our individual lives – tricking us into fighting,
suffering, hurting ourselves and each other through illusion and manipulation – I think this could be and
probably is reflected in our collective self of the human race. The ego would do things like start wars and fake
terrorist attacks by justifying it as either a means to an end or what’s fairest for them in an unfair world. It’s
perfectly reasonable!

Yet, instead of being appalled by this, angered by this, we should realize it’s just ourselves, just
unconsciousness. We need only evolve ourselves, have the power of love trump the love of power.

Think about all the thoughts you have in a normal day or week – from picking up the kids, to doing your
homework, to what you’re doing with your life, to whether he/she loves you; but also that you just want to
kill that person, that you hope they get what they deserve…all the horrible things (racist, hateful, criminal,
sexual, violent, whatever). Most of us have evolved to see clearly the consequences of those types of thoughts
and either don’t take action on them or think (Kevin, that’s ridiculous, why would you think something like
that??). We disidentify with them enough not to become them. Well, for every bad thought there’s a person
out there unconsciously becoming it. Just as thoughts are to me, we are to ourselves as a collective identity.
All we need to do is continue to the next realm of evolving to recognize the role of all thought and emotion,
of all ego!

Entry 65 
I can imagine giving a charla (workshop) to designers about all of this. By relating the topic to that which they
know intimately (i.e. can relate to), they’ll understand it all. This is what’s important – relating to your
audience. This is why Jesus used parables – it’s just today’s parables must be much more varied; the truths are
still simple, but the ways in which we must explain/describe them so that people can relate has grown
thousand-fold.

• Jesus’ parable of growing roots in sand, cement or fertile soul; this “roots” metaphor still is so true.
Our entire mind drama, both individually and collectively, is simply the branches of an incredibly
large tree. It all can be immediately cut off and the tree will survive and re-grow. It all depends on our
trunk, our roots.

Every single type of person you see: happy, sad, hateful, loving, jealous, forgiving, cares about $, doesn’t, rich,
poor, selfish, selfless and so on forever…Every person you see is a type of thought in your head. The only
thing that separates us is our identification with different thoughts. This is all personality and all separation!

Entry 66 
Marcela:
“I never really thought of it that way.”

• I thought that, lol, about the realization of looking without thinking; hearing without thinking. And
really, no words, no thoughts, no comparison, analysis, opinion, no thing. What’s there? 

Diagram of Life as the combined “Good” and “Bad,” neither separate from their part in the whole of life.

• It takes feeling bad, doing bad, thinking bad…to truly understand good, Feel it. Know it. LIFE IS.
• This ends all superior thinking! There is no better! There’s just what’s healthier. What’s good. But
perspective ends – or at least we know we always have a perspective.
• It took me thinking how bad Marcie was for me to realize I had become unconscious. When
I “woke up,” I listened and she revealed the image above 

Entry 67 
Nico:

Biting of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil: the fruit is all knowledge, all polarity, all form.
By eating it, we “fell out of grace with God,” realized we were naked (before we were at one with God and
thus did not think of self or separateness in that way) and hated ourselves, wanted to cover up in shame. This
is form, polarity. And all religions aim at going back to paradise, back before biting the fruit and entering
form. For Christians, it’s a paradise “after life,” for Buddhists a return to oneness, all understand it in
different ways, yet they’re all the same! And the Church is all after biting the fruit, so it’s an institution just as
imperfect, just as polar and thus open to “evil.”

The Bible as metaphor is beautiful! Jesus’ teachings are wonderful! And “true”  It’s simply that the cultural
lens through which the metaphors are viewed is interpreting them differently, literally. It’s the ego’s viewing
of them is what it is.

• View the Bible with complete presence – no thinking, no analyzing, just hear the words, or better,
hear their intent. Truly listen (active passivity).
• Do so and you realize the Bible is clearly True, yet neither true nor false.

Entry 68 
Seeing Nico talk to me very presently and then switching to talk to Marcie and become very unconscious! The
same happened earlier with Gerardo and Sandra. At first, I thought it was that Spanish is more intense, made
more for arguing. This may be some of it, but more, I think it’s speaking in another language that’s better. We
have to give more attention, more consciousness to talking in another language, thus it’s easier to remain
conscious of your words. While our mother-tongue just flows, is more unconscious. Interesting to think
about.

Entry 69 
Nico’s Mom story: She wants you to be on your own path. Nico saying he’s on his path, etc. He’s too
“rational,” just like his Mom was. I remember I was very similar.
As you think about the path your life may go, you might have picked up this book hoping it might change
yours for the better. Maybe a friend gave it to you, a family member, or whoever…(go with this). Well, let’s
start, then, with your path. When you think about “my” path…

It’s cool thinking about “my path”…we see the person we are, going through our path; they’re two separate
things: “me” and “my path.” But when we see our rationality, emotions, personality, etc. from a higher
perspective, and see that we can enter into (give energy or conscious attention to) whichever we want, that
“I” have these, I am not these things…then we see that we’re creating our paths, because we are them. We
realize the journey is inward, not outward! That

Entry 70 

3rd Journal:

Entry 1 
“To trace something unknown back to something known is alleviating, soothing, gratifying, and moreover
gives a feeling of power. Danger, disquiet, anxiety attend the unknown – the first instinct is to eliminate these
distressing states. First principle: Any explanation is better than none…The cause-creating drive is thus
conditioned and excited by the feeling of fear…” – Nietzsche

I have been very unconscious for the past few days, delving into investments, staying at the apartment (not
going out) and smoking constantly. However, a lot of the time I’ve “known” I was doing this, yet still doing it
anyway. Some part of me, it seems, “wants” to still be unconscious at times. On some level, I’m even at peace
with being unconscious. Accepting change and the cyclical nature of what is means accepting days or time
periods like this.
The Nietzsche quote jumped out at me because of the fear. I believe this is true, so what fear is motivating
me to allow the unconscious ego to “want” these things?

Looking back at all the “cycles” I’ve been through over the past year, it’s clear that I’m in a stage of intense
change in my life right now, so “going with the flow” makes sense. The fact that I’m thinking this way only
signifies that I truly haven’t “accepted” this on a deep level. Once I do, I will be present.

• Acceptance is the light that immediately transmutes the darkness of fear.

• Fear requires non-acceptance.

Entry 2 
Power of Now, Tolle: The End of Your Life Drama 

“When you are fully conscious, you cease to be in conflict. ‘No one who is at one with himself can even
conceive of conflict’, states A Course in Miracles. This refers not only to conflict with other people but more
fundamentally to conflict within you, which ceases when there is no longer any clash between the demands
and the expectations of your mind and what is.”

I am definitely still at conflict with myself, lol. Saying it proves it, ha.

The process of “letting go”:

• Letting go of yourself – this is a cool way to talk about this experience; the process of disidentifying
from ego and realizing your inner self 
• You must lose yourself to find yourself.

Entry 3 
Tolle: “Nothing can give you joy. Joy is uncaused and arises from within as the joy of Being. It is an essential
part of the inner state of peace, the state that has been called the peace of God. It is your natural state, not
something that you need to work hard for or struggle to attain.” – Power of Now, pg. 187.

Those who realize this – that there can be no “salvation” in any thing you do, possess or attain, are one step
away from despair and one away from enlightenment. Resist this and you have nothing to strive for, nothing
to work for. What is the point anymore? Accept it and you will find a deep inner peace. You then open your
eyes to this beautiful world we have and see – clearly – that you are in paradise. You see that there is no
reason to suffer anymore. Just look around, breathe deeply, and smile 

As for what to do, you’ll see a higher form of curiosity begins to arise within you. Rather than any thing giving
you joy, the joy within begins to express itself in things. We can create a wonderful civilization, explore the
mysteries of our minds, our bodies, our world, our universe…everything.

The biggest problem lies in ignorance of the amazing birthright you have to this beautiful planet, and of your
beautiful body and mind.
The places to visit, sites to see, people to meet, food to eat, art to be seen – whatever you’ve “always dreamt
of doing” (and more!) is possible. Poverty will be eradicated, diseases cured. Without profit, Earth, simply
put, is Heaven. Ignorance of all this leads to fear which leads to ego which leads to suffering.75

Entry 4 

ATTENTION. HERE AND NOW. WAKE UP.

Entry 5 
Tolle: “Even the slightest irritation is significant and needs to be acknowledged and looked at; otherwise,
there will be a cumulative buildup of unobserved reactions.” – Power of Now, pg. 192

Exactly – this is what I’m going through now, the breakdown of cumulative past re-actions. Trapped energy
slowly being released or transmuted (hence all my back pain! lol).xxi

Accept – truly accept – that, at this moment, you are not at peace. When you accept non-peace, it is
immediately transmuted into peace. This is the power of surrender. 

Entry 6 
Tolle: “Albert Einstein called the ego ‘an optical illusion of consciousness’.” A New Earth, pg. 28

I really like this metaphor! Where did he say this??

Look into this more.76

Entry 7 
Tolle: “A mature 1st year student at 25, I saw myself as an intellectual in the making, and I was convinced that
all the answers to the dilemmas of human existence could be found through the intellect, that is to say, by
thinking. I didn’t realize yet that thinking without awareness is the main dilemma of human existence. I
looked upon the professors as sages who had all the answers and upon the Universe as the temple of
knowledge.” A New Earth, pg. 32

I literally could have written this about myself! Crazy! 

Entry 8 






























































75

I
jump
ahead
here.
Plus
ego
doesn’t
arise
due to
any
of
these
things.
It
is
simply
an
outdated
evolved
self‐
defense
mechanism.
I
mean
here
more
the
“unobserved”
ego.

76

Include
link
to
my
looking
into
this
more,
haha.

 “Life isn’t as serious as my mind makes it out to be.”

Entry 9 
“Love and do what you will, “ said St. Augustine. Words cannot get much closer to the Truth than that.” A
New Earth, pg. 72, part of “Truth: Relative or Absolute?” section that is great!77

Entry 10 
Questions for Tolle:

1) How did you learn so intimately about the inner workings of the ego? I’ve come to numerous deep
insights into how the ego works, but mainly through the act of awakening. When I “wake up,” I then
see with striking clarity all that was happening inside me. I then learn from it and can more easily
recognize it when it arises again in the future. But with your “sudden death” of the ego and living for
2 years on park benches in a state of peace, how have you learned about the ego? Is it through
memory of how it used to operate in you? Does it still operate in you, but you can observe it and not
identify with it? Or do you see it clearly in others? I ask because my realizations have come nearly
entirely through self-reflection and observation, but if there are other ways, it’d be very helpful to
hear of them.xxii
2) You say women are closer to enlightenment so why have there been so few female spiritual leaders?
Obviously our male-dominated history plays a part in this, but have there been any? Jesus Buddha,
Zen masters, Krishnamurti, those you quote, everywhere is only men. Why?xxiii
3) In ANE (A New Earth), you talk about the possible futures of humanity and how they are no utopia.
Have you seen or heard of the documentary “Zeitgeist” and The Venus Project? They promote the
phasing out of the monetary system and the establishment of a resource-based economy.78 While our
goal needs not be any thing manifested, but instead a change in consciousness, that then will make
itself manifest, do you believe this is the inevitable outer-evolution of mankind if it wants to
survive?xxiv
a. Does money need to phase out in order for enlightenment to flourish? Is this the truth
behind Jesus’ saying “It’s harder for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven than for a
camel to pass through a…”?xxv

Entry 11 

“The finger pointing to the moon is not the moon.” – Buddhist saying

Entry 12 






























































77

Link
to
this
whole
chapter


78

Link
here
could
give
tons
of
info
on
what
this
is!


Expectation:

Ever had a friend tell you how great a movie was, how all the critics love it, how it really surprised them, blew
them away, etc. and then, when you go see it, it’s only ok but not great? Their telling you about it raised your
expectations and thus the basis upon which you judged how “good” the movie was. When you expect a
movie to be great and it’s only good, you don’t really enjoy it. Conversely, when you expect a movie to be
horrible and it turns out to actually be pretty good, it seems like its “great.” You really enjoy it.79

This is a simple but pertinent example of how expectations change – fundamentally – the way we interpret
our experiences. Life is beautiful. Just look around; look up; look within. It is complex, wonderful, simple, it
is Life! Yet when we have expectations, they obscure the deep beauty concealed in every single moment.
Instead, all we see is how this moment fits into our expectations of how this moment could be or “should”
be. The state of the world, how happy we are, how enlightened we are, whatever “it” is; instead of see what is,
we see everything in comparison to some other way it could or should be. This happens because of the
illusory “I” – or ego – that’s interpreting the experience. The ego is the lens through which you interpret your
experiences and thereby judge them, compare them, etc. This only happens when ego is allowed to arise,
however. You’ll look upon something as “good” if it makes you feel better or “bad” if it does the opposite.
All interpretations are in the service of perpetuating your illusion of “I”. But this can only happen
unconsciously, only when unexamined.

Look at children. They just are. They soak in everything. It’s so simple yet so beautiful, so subtle yet so
profound. It is this simple, subtle “joy of being” that we lose as we develop the interpretive lens of the ego.
Without the ego, you simply soak in life, observe, smile. You sit on a park bench for 2 years, lol.80

The world – and all your experiences – are then not looked to to “make you happy.” Happiness is deep
within you and arises whenever you are still enough to permit it. It then permeates all your experiences and
infuses them with beauty and simple joy. Life becomes very satisfying, not because of what happens or
doesn’t happen, but simply because you are here to experience it all. It’s not what happens in your life that gives
you joy, but that you are alive; that you exist, are breathing, right now, have the ability to think, feel, perceive,
etc. The content is thus unimportant.xxvi

Entry 13 
Life’s Ultimate Secret

It’s the ultimate secret: in trying to be invulnerable, you become vulnerable. But by allowing yourself to be
vulnerable, you realize your invulnerability.






























































79

Even
more
than
this,
I
see
you
describing
your
experience
of
the
movie,
not
the
actual
movie.
And
that’s
the

point.
When
we
“enjoy”
a
movie,
its
because
it
was
above
our
expectations,
whatever
those
expectations
were.

You
all
know
what
Im
talking
about!
This
is
why
if
the
trailers
made
you
think
this
was
a
comedy
but
it
turned
out

to
be
a
drama,
you’re
pissed,
lol
(Click
with
Adam
Sandler!
I
mean,
c’mon!).
Well,
not
pissed,
but
you
don’t
enjoy
it

nearly
as
much,
if
at
all.
The
“surprise”
in
this
case,
is
a
“bad”
one
as
you
had
invested
in
the
anticipation
of
a

particular
future
(a
certain
kind
of
experience).
Can
you
see
how
this
applies
to
your
experience
of
Life
in
every

way!?

80

What
Tolle
did,
just
in
case
you
didn’t
know


 • By trying to stop thinking, you become trapped in thought. But by allowing thought to be, you realize
you’re completely free from them.xxvii

Sex, masturbation, relationships, waiting for people who are late, it all, at its core, makes you feel vulnerable.
Marcy talking about men and liking the vulnerability of aroused men. They’ll do anything. You can give them
complete release or complete frustration. Women thrive on this “power” they have over men….Yet, they
only desire having that power due to the same self-perceived vulnerability. It’s a perpetual cycle!

Masturbation (and orgasm in particular) represents vulnerability to pleasure, to the Now really. It’s pleasure
for no reason, undeserved, unearned, beyond “right” or “wrong,” just pure pleasure. It’s so natural, too. It
feels so raw, so basic, and it’s this precise feeling, this return to the Now, to giving into this moment,
becoming this moment, in fact, that scares us because it makes us feel so vulnerable.xxviii

Way of the Peaceful Warrior Quote:

• “You haven’t yet opened your heart in a natural way to bring your emotions to life. You’ve learned
body control and even some mind control, but your heart is not yet opened. Your goal is not
invulnerability, but vulnerability; to the world, to life and therefore to true presence.”81

What’s crazy is that it’s so wonderful to be vulnerable. It’s something so simple yet so powerful. Be, and
enjoy being. It’s that simple. That it’s so simple scares us and so we eat of the fruit of the knowledge of good
and evil, and suddenly I “shouldn’t” do this or “should” do that. This is “right” or this is “wrong.” What does
any of that even mean?? It is what it is. These labels are just silly. It’s only an ego that would care of such
things.

Sex, like thought, is simply an extremely powerful waterslide82. It’s so intense that we nearly always get caught
up in it, become unconscious in it. And because we’re so unconscious, it makes it that much easier to be used
in the service of the ego. That’s why things like rough sex, dominatrix, etc. become manifestations of the
need to be in control, have power, be invulnerable!! And we know that sex does this to us and thus we “fear”
it. But only because we don’t understand it! Can you see this?

(Referring back to “that its so simple scares us…”):

“My yoke is easy, my burden is light.” “Heaven is in your midst.” What else could Jesus mean? The Joy of
Being, Enlightenment, Presence, The peace that passeth all understanding, Nirvana…all the same thing:
vulnerability to the present moment, to what is.

Look deep to the driving emotion(s) behind your actions and you’ll sense this. Why are you always a bitch or
an asshole to certain people or in certain situations? Why do you get so shy and closed off to the world, even
– and sometimes especially – to those who mean the most to you? Why are you constantly so hard on
yourself and critical of yourself? Why do you obsess about how you look? The list could go on forever! Look
deep and you’ll feel the driving insecurity – the feeling of vulnerability, of not being enough, of being
incomplete, disconnected, alone…all this has arisen due to the expectations of the mind which have,
themselves, arisen due to the illusion of ego (of right and wrong). This all exists only due to your denial of






























































81

I
cannot
stress
the
helpfulness
of
this
book
to
any
who
are
seeking.
This
is
one
of
many
quotes
from
this
book

that
have
stayed
with
me
meaningfully.
(Also
provide
link
to
info/resources/debate?/other
stuff?)

82

Explain
what
these
are,
lol.

now, to trying to be invulnerable. Acceptance, or vulnerability to the present moment, diffuses this entire
process at its root. Consider the lilies! Practice the power of now. Don’t look for yourself in the world of
form…I Am I Am!

Money too! It’s the exact same. Not enough $ and we fear vulnerability! More and more $ and we feel more
powerful, less vulnerable. Yes, as we acquire more and more, we eventually realize that we still, deep down,
feel just as vulnerable. We escape in all that $ can buy: luxury, sex, drugs, houses, cars, whatever…yet it’s still
there, and we face it even more intensely because we’ve been running from it so long. It’s all due to the initial
fear of vulnerability!

Entry 14 
Thoughts while pissing:

Our bodies have to get rid of waste every day, why wouldn’t we assume it reasonable, then, to need to get rid
of emotional, intellectual, even spiritual waste regularly too? Thoughts arise, emotions arise, we either find
them nourishing or wasteful. We use them or allow them to pass through us naturally. This requires no
“effort,” per se, it’s completely natural. We know when to do it, in fact without civilization as we know it, it
really does just happen, lol, like animals. The same could be true with all thought and emotion. Ah there it is,
and ah, there it goes 

Entry 15 
Be Vulnerable Now. Open Yourself Completely to the world. Observe thought and emotion. Observe all you
see and all you experience, even the most mundane detail. Know the miracle that is Life. Be, and enjoy Being.

Entry 16 
Your most basic and most subtle motivating force is the need to prove yourself; to yourself, to the world, to
whoever will notice.

• Even trying to “change the world” – through religion, politics, presence, books, whatever – is even
infused with this “need” to accomplish something important, something consequential, something
noticeable.
• This is the mind and painbody, completely subtle, but very present.
• Observe these emotions.
• Love, and do what you will.

Entry 17 
“Life is a big playground. We know that as kids but forget it along the way somewhere.”83

• This is true ad false. It is if we want it to be. It also can change if we want it to. Some plants flower
and others don’t, some humans will evolve and others won’t. Neither is good and neither is bad.
• Do what brings you deep peace and joy. You’ll find it’s the things you’ve wanted to do all along
anyways.





























































83

Zoey
Dechanel
in
“Yes
Man”

 • Whatever you do that brings that much genuine joy is beyond being a means to an end. It is
consciousness enjoying itself, knowing itself, becoming conscious of itself. That energy, that Joy of
Being, is the light of consciousness that devours all darkness. You can’t fight darkness, you merely
illuminate it and can see what was already there. It was there all along, but now you see it.
• That Joy – think Tolle talking about life being satisfying or the Dalia Lama taking the time to bend
over and look at a flower and watch the sunset – that joy is beyond “changing the world” or anything
else one might “do” or “accomplish.”
• Be the change you wish to see in the world.
• Don’t change the world. Allow change to happen. Be present, be there for it to.

Entry 18 
Tips – Nico talking about remembering exactly how much every person leaves – and I remember this too at
Steak n’ Shake84.

• It’s incredible how ingenious and complex we really are, especially when it’s about something we
deem important (which $ is unconsciously tied to now).
• Imagine…a world where these creative talents were re-channeled to things that aren’t monotonous
and ultimately meaningless.

Entry 19 
Listening to Nico talk about Chiqui – about his not knowing why she wanted to be alone, not accepting her
decision to break up, about her hanging out with other people and his jealousy, about how much screaming,
cursing, and arguing was no typical and normal between them (and thus, I thought, in all relationships!)…

• We really are children, only more complex; we just haven’t grown up spiritually yet.

Entry 20 
Casa de Moneda, April 26, 2010

Nico talking about the Spanish settlement of the Native (South) Americans. To natives, the shaman was the
highest person and even had a vote on the council with the elders. So the wise and those connected with
Nature were revered. The Spaniards valued political power and thus easily dominated and took control.
Money didn’t really exist. Instead, trade of goods was central. What you had, you shipped to who needed it,
and in exchange they shipped what they had that you needed. Money wasn’t necessary and, they believed,
would only lead to centralized power.

So much of our identity is this type of “story.” We view ourselves on this projection, this “path” toward
something. This is both personal and collective, both equally conditioned. Personally, it’s your life, your job,
your family, whether you’ll have kids, when you’ll retire, etc. Collectively, it’s your country, your religion, your
political party, your group of friends, etc. It goes as deep as our feeling of “evolving” as a species. We
continue to study, to explore, to build, to advance…but have we thought about where we’re going? If you see






























































84

A
fast‐food
restaurant
I
served
at
for
a
year
when
I
was
16,
haha.

countries, companies, religions, even job positions or titles, as part of someone’s or something’s intrinsic
identity, that is collectively conditioned and unconscious.

We’ve chosen as a human species to create “money.” It’s nothing more than paper we’ve decided collectively
to value. Have you ever evaluated this decision? It’s the same with countries – not just where the lines are but
even the concept of “countries”. Is it not silly to need someone’s approval to cross a line and see another
portion of this beautiful planet we’re all on together? What do you mean it’s “yours”?

• This is not reality, it’s what we’ve chosen.

• If you had the choice now, in a perfect world, not to have countries or money or whatever else,
would you?
• Do you have that choice?
• Do we have that choice?

But look at the world! Look at people! Terrorism! Crime! Murder! Etc.85

Ok, but why do these things exist? It’s because of the very systems we’ve created! We don’t live in an unfair
world, we live in an unfair system! Money, politics, business, poverty, hunger, etc….all atrocities! All
unacceptable, pure and simple. That these things exist hurt every single one of us on a deep, usually
unexamined level. Those who feel it more intensely – Mom, Marce, Val, me, etc. – react with anger or
whatever else to cover it up, others are sad, depressed, etc. This creates an unending cycle of pain manifesting
in bad action causing pain manifesting…and so on. What needs to change? Money? Inequality? Poverty?
Aids? Reform! No more abortions! And so on!?

• No, these are manifestations of the problem, not the problem. Change these and the same energy
will manifest elsewhere. All that needs to change is that we get out of the story. Look around. See the
paradise we’re all in. Smell the flowers! Taste the coffee, feel emotion, make someone happy for no
reason, discover love and joy. Do we need $? Do we need politics? Economy? Are these things
materially important to our existence? To the amazing wonder of life?

Sure these things can exist, but how?

• Imagine…
• Here show a beautiful picture of a resource-based economy; of a world without “work,” where we
channel our creative, beautiful and powerful energy and intellect into WMCs, Weapons of Mass
Creation!
• We think it’s not possible because people aren’t like that, we think they’ll take advantage of it, etc.
Communism is a perfect example of this!
• But they won’t do it because they won’t let go of the story! We’re all stuck because none of us want
to be the first to out on the limb!
• The only question is when? It’s obvious we’ll have to evolve past this or die, so all that’s left is the
transition.
• I think Obama gets this – read Audacity of Hope again.

For starters, make no $ off the book, none. Have it all donated towards something like the Venus Project.






























































85

The
Arizona
shootings!
9/11!
CEOs!
Murdoff!
All
examples
of
“Evil”!
All
of
them.

Have a way for people to take the leap of faith and join a community that does this, that has its own private
bank, system of trade, housing, schooling, etc. All the best creative ideas for each can be studied, designed
and implemented without any considering of profit or power, only what’s best for each and every individual
and thus what’s best for everyone. It’s that simple. Electricity and power can be provided, healthcare
provided (ha, don’t get caught up in the details now, these will come naturally and beautifully). If we pool
together x amount of $, this could be provided for all. And what do we have to give up for this? The desire to
have more? 6 cars, a mansion, things, things, things. You can live comfortably, happily, joyfully, free from
worry. What needs to change for this to happen? You tell me.

Entry 21 
Habeus Corpus Exhibit (At Modern Art Museum in Bogota)

Seeing a 5 minute video of an entire family, 5 year old boy included, slowly getting naked while playing on a
couch and posing for photos. How great to see the body in a different context, not sexual, but playful. The
boy especially, showing off his penis, truly fascinated by it, happily, playfully.

• Sexual attraction is an extremely powerful, basic, animal drive/waterslide! We resent/fear this

vulnerability, this “animal” in us, so we cover it up, are ashamed of it. This is internal and external.
• Think how liberating it is to be open with your partner. Why limit this to only 1 person? Why be
“open” to only 1?Why feel only open to 1? Some add a close group of friends, but even with them
you’re just more open, not truly open.
• Think about it. Who are you ever truly, openly, completely vulnerable and honest with? Are you even
with your partner? Are you even with yourself?
• What are you afraid of? What are we afraid of?

Louise Bourgeous (Paris, 1911)

• “Su obra escapa todos los ‘ismos’ y utiliza gran diversidad de medios. El cuerpo humano (masculino,
feminino, y dif. combis de generos) esta fuertamente presente. Sus esculturas trainreminiscerias de su
vida y su infancia y aquí sus cuerpos son metáfora y también mensaje directo.”
• “El propósito de arte es el de vencer el miedo, nada mas, nada menos.”

La Mano, Cuerpo Fragmentado

Hans Castorp, al mirar su brazo a través de los rayas X, “..vio lo que ya debía haber esperado, pero que, en
suma, no esta hecho para ser visto por el hombre, y que nunca hubeiera creido que puder a ver: miro dentro
de su propia tumba. Vio el futuro trabajo de la decompasicus, lo vio prefigurado por la fuerza de la luz, vio la
carne, en lo que el vivía, descompuesta, aniquilada, disuelta en una niebla inexistente, y en medio de ella el
esqueleto, cincelado esmeredamente, de su mano derecha […] y por primera vez en su vida compredio que
estaba destinado a morir.” – Thomas Mann, La Montana Magica

Piel

“El desollado. Sensibilidad especial del sujeto amoroso que lo hace vulnerable, ofrecido en carne viva a las
heridas mas ligeras.” – Roland Barthes

• Valery hablada de la piel como lo mas profundo, y Nietzsche de la conciencia común superficie.
Look at the history of how death has been viewed/interpreted.

Entry 22 
You think you can’t do better because you don’t know yourself. You think…(stopped flow)

During the transition, people will want to have fun, let go, travel, take vacations, etc. You won’t “want” to do
something productive, etc. Well 1) it’s just like chores plus reasonable and 2) you’ll find out first that you need
this. And that makes sense, we’ve suffered for quite awhile! When people understand this, sacrifice so that
you don’t have to work etc., you’ll find you do want to work. Everyone wants to do what is helpful and
beneficial! That’s just covered up with a multi-millennia-engrained story saying otherwise. Then, even if you
don’t discover that, you’ll see it’s only temporary; that you really do “get spoiled” and desire to be genuinely
productive.

Entry 23  
“The candle that burns half as long burns twice as profitable.”

-Aasif Manvi, The Daily Show

Entry 24 
At FAU (Florida Atlantic University) with Shelby

Man, going back to college for me is like a recovering alcoholic going to a bar! I really can’t believe just how
ego-driven/controlled nearly everyone is. And unfortunately, I’ve had a harder time than I thought I would
not getting “pulled” back in. The distant yet all-too-familiar stream of insecure thoughts and feelings has
rushed back and “been” me sporadically. Watching Cassie is incredible. Brett and Brenna are a case study in
looking for yourself in another; Brett in being the perfect guy and Brenna in being special. Everyone has to be
constantly entertained (i.e. distracted). Looking around at everyone, I’d say I’ve seen 5-10 people total who
were present at all. Everyone’s in a conceptual reality!

Although, as intense as it is, it’s so innocent, so insignificant. They really do simply “know not what they do.”
When I’m fully present, you can tell everyone notices on an energetic level (although of course not
consciously) and, if even for a second, they feel stillness, calmness. Deep down, I think most are ready, even
wanting to wake up. The world is just too crazy and “making it” is just too ridiculous. The problem is they’re
addicted, truly. Even I feel the pull of this addiction, this momentum. It doesn’t take effort or determination
or self-control, etc. but it does take a deep awareness of all that’s going on. Every time I try to “stop”
thinking, I get caught up in it more (I can’t stop, so I feel bad, so I either start thinking about how to stop
thinking [methods, techniques, Tolle’s teachings, etc.]) or I’m pulled into an emotional reaction to my not
being able to: insecurity, unworthiness, self-defeat, hypocrisy, etc. It truly is a vicious, toxic cycle that only
stops when I observe it intensely. I shift my focus to my breath, release the tension in my muscles (that I
didn’t know was there until I “woke up”), slow everything down, feel the breeze, become aware, etc.
Or there’s Rachel Goodrich86  When I hear or see something beautiful, something present, playful, joyful,
etc. I get pulled into that, into consciousness, even more easily than I got pulled into unconsciousness. I
smile, let go, and breathe deeply, usually smiling like the Buddha . It’s really an incredible sensation when
unconsciousness is transmuted so instantly. I see the thoughts and emotional reactions of “how could you get
pulled into that, aren’t you better than that? Etc.” and I just smile at it. It’s so childish, so innocent, and in that
moment, even beautiful in a way. Ah, human emotion…(as Tolle said ). It’s as if I recognize it, “know” it in
a way. With this perspective, “stopping” it just seems silly. All that would entail is more thoughts like “I need
to stop this,” etc. Instead, it stops on its own or, if it doesn’t, it’s so inconsequential that it doesn’t even
matter. I watch and observe, wondering how and why such a simple process could ever be taken seriously 

And yet, I still do take it seriously, not the majority of the time, but surprisingly frequently.

The Joy of Being – that’s what I feel when observing this whole process. As soon as I “wake up” from it, it
feels so light, so delicate. My smile at this moment is the most genuine I’ve ever felt.

• The universe loves the dream (why else would it be dreaming it!) but it loves waking up even more.
• “Without illusion, there is no Enlightenment.” – Buddhist saying.

(Going back to that I still do take this seriously surprisingly frequently…)

When I read this, or think about it, my immediate reaction is, and words aren’t perfect here, but “shame,”
“unworthiness,” “regret,” “fear,” etc. Reflecting on that reaction now, I see it intensifies my thought of “I.”
This is an incredibly subtle process, but there’s a kind of “closing off” or “retracting into myself” that goes on
here. I think this is a last-ditch effort of the ego to survive. It’s incredibly strong only because the ego is
incredibly desperate (so to speak). This might be why I sense more presence, more genuineness/authenticity
in self-pitying/insecure people than in egoic, self-bolstering people. Maybe the ego is just as strong, maybe –
even usually? – stronger, but only because it’s on the verge of collapse. I think it takes an influx of presence –
a recognition, deep down, of the illusion – for the ego to resort to this. Then again, I might just relate to this
ego-frequency more and thus recognize underlying presence better. Who knows.

(referencing the “closing off” a few sentences ago…)

• This closing off, separating, differentiation, individualization is EVERYWHERE (fashion, $, jobs,

relationships, music, movies, basically our entire culture!)
• Opening up, becoming vulnerable, light, gentle, genuine, etc. is extremely liberating. It’s losing
yourself to find yourself. Even more, the “self” you find is then everywhere in everything! You feel
connected, whole, free. It’s the most wonderful feeling I can imagine and that probably we can feel in
this life. It’s Heaven, Nirvana, Peace. 
• This is beyond your “purpose” or “why you’re here.” When you experience this, you no longer view
life as a means to an end (which is the definition of purpose!) but an end in itself. Life simply is. Be,
and enjoy Being. Fear, as Nietzsche said, is the cause-creating drive that needs “purpose” to satiate
itself. But when you experience this kind of deep awareness and connectedness, fear – and the very
need for purpose – is transmuted immediately. The thought of purpose (and it’s important to note
that any discussion of purpose requires thinking about it, requires questions of “why” this of “why”
that) just isn’t relevant anymore. The question doesn’t even make sense.






























































86

Saw
her
live
with
Shelby
and
just
loved
her.
She’s
an
indie
artist.
Check
out
her
music
here:
provide
links

 • But, I can’t begin to explain how delicate and subtle this realization is. Even now, as I write this, I
feel the pull of thinking about this. “But what do you mean ‘beyond purpose’? Everything has
purpose, even if the purpose it go beyond purpose…that, then, is your purpose, etc.” LOL.
Recognize this process, this re-action, for what it is: more thought. Observe it. Smile at it. Be, and
enjoy Being. Love, and do what you will .
• Is it that simple? Yes, it is that simple 
• You’re discovering this Truth now. You’ll stop caring when you no longer need to ask the question
in the first place. 87
• Luke 17:21 – Heaven is in your midst.

Entry 25 
Be very careful about any thoughts or feelings of needing to share this message, or of desiring to change
people. While genuinely and beautifully motivated, this becomes very easily another medium for the ego to
use. In a flash, this becomes “I know something they don’t” or “they shouldn’t be this way, so I need to
change it.” Etc. (you see what I mean here!...It’s more individualizing/separating in disguise!)

• Trying to change people or the world is exactly like trying to stop thinking. Trying implies an ego
doing the trying. But loving observation and recognition of oneness, well, no words suffice here, but
this type of surrender is beyond the need for any “change,” either in yourself, others, the world, or
whatever else. This is the unconditioned consciousness becoming conscious of itself, taking joy in
itself. This is Jesus on the cross, still not “desiring” anything different, still not trying to “convince”
people or “change” them. And ironically, it is this deep, pure (and profoundly simple) acceptance
that does end up changing things, not through influencing or altering anyone or anything, but in
pointing to what was/is already there. It reveals something much deeper. It is the flowering of
consciousness. True beauty being revealed to the world.
• Even reflecting on this type of acceptance moves something very deep inside me. When I feel it
arising, I almost always start to cry; it truly is wonderful. It’s the most intense sensation I can imagine.
• And oddly, it’s sad too. My tears are of intense joy, but also of intense sadness (for so many don’t
[and may never] feel this). I sense both sides of the same coin: profound joy of being and profound
empathy for human suffering. I sense both simultaneously.

Immediately after writing all this, I “woke up,” looked around and realized where I was. These types of
realizations are very intense. Waking up from them, I feel lighter, almost relieved. Yet, at the same time, as
difficult and intense as they are, they feel very natural. It’s extremely difficult, but in such a beautiful way that
I find deep pleasure in them. It’s so raw, so genuine. I feel alive.

(referring back a few sentences to the profound empathy for human suffering that I feel…)

• This pain is beautiful too, for it implies feeling what others feel: true empathy, recognition of
oneness. I am I am.
• The world as it is – and I say this without emotional reaction – is unacceptable. It’s like my Mom
needing to leave David. No judgment, just plain fact. Pain, then, is a natural, beautiful part of this
process.






























































87

Later:
it’s
not
that
there
is
no
answer,
it’s
that
the
question
is
simply
irrelevant


 • The dichotomy of pain as being both lovely and hurtful is reflected in the world being both exactly as
it should and needing to be different. Words fail here – as always, lol – but you get what I’m saying.

Entry 26 
There’s really a lot more to sex than I think we’re aware. You can literally feel this animal, primal (but very
natural) surge of energy start at the base of your spine and surge out through your genitals. When I try to
direct conscious attention to my head (awareness), it’s literally numb in a way, like I can’t maintain the pure,
primal sexual energy (approximate for orgasm) and, at the same time, “be” there too, be “aware” too.

Entry 27 
“Carl Sagan – The Pale Blue Dot” and “Hubble: The most important picture ever taken”88

• In watching movies about the infinity of space, if you’re really paying attention, you become still, you
reflect that infinity internally, you experience the vast inward dimension that has only begun to be
expressed externally.
• As we look deeper into the universe, we look deeper into ourselves: metaphorically and literally. We
discover, explore, create.
• Use movies like these to create inner stillness. You then have a receptive person to deal directly with,
beyond mind.
• Viewing the Earth as a pale blue dot – if you authentically view it with that perspective – immediately
makes room to view our thoughts and emotions in the same way. Just as the Earth is to the Universe,
so is your ego (and all that makes it up – past, future, thought, emotion, etc.) to your true self, to
Beingness.
• And yes, as vast as the Universe might be, as big and vast and infinite all that is “up there/out there”
is, just as big and vast and infinite inwardly is but one cell in your body. For just as infinity is
expressed outwardly, it is also expressed inwardly. Your skin, muscles, fibers, organs, cells, molecules,
etc. express that same infinity. The deeper we look, the further we explore, the more vast we discover
we are in every way, within and without.
• All that you see and experience is so vast and mysterious and wonderful and beautiful…how can we
not just step back in awe and wonder? And in this state, with these realizations, how can we ever hate
or harm anyone or anything? Life Is Awesome!
• ……

AND YET…”people are the way they are,” you say. Look at terrorism, at crime and murder, etc.

• Show here how and why we are the way we are. Use Zeitgeist (religion, money, fear, television, Fox
News, etc.)
• What are we Beyond these things? What would a world beyond these things look like?
• Zeitgeist 2 and a Resource-based economy!
• Couple all of this with What The Bleep and The Power of Now and the stage is set for the next stage
in human evolution!






























































88

Watch
Sagan’s
“The
Pale
Blue
Dot”
here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pfwY2TNehw
and
the
Hubble

video
here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcBV‐cXVWFw

 Entry 28 
Where does creativity and the insights of technology come from?

• They come, or emerge, as we learn more about ourselves and the Universe.
• As we see how things move, we see the wheel; when we see how the eyes work, we see how conclave
glass could counteract limited vision. Pencils, cars, chemistry, physics, match, etc.
• As we learn and discover more about our surroundings (and we couple that with presence), insights
are received about how to improve our lives and make room for more joy.

Entry 29 
Cucunuba, May 23, 2010

From You, To You:

• Why do flowers exist? Yes, they provide pollen which adds to the current ecosystem, but if they
didn’t exist, all that would do is create another ecosystem, not worse, not better – that doesn’t even
make sense – just different.
• Why would we view our own lives any differently? The very thought of “purpose” only makes sense
from a very limited – or at least transitory – perspective. That’s what we see in flowers though: true
beauty.
• It’s not beautiful because of this or because of that, it’s just beautiful. Look! This we see almost
universally.
• Yet each of us sees this same beauty in an infinite variety of perspectives. To see beauty, for example,
in a flower but not in a wilting, dying plant is limited. Beauty is just as intrinsic to every single thing in
the entire Universe. All that changes is our experience of realizing that beauty.
• Remember, even “beauty” is emotively charged; it’s “positive,” “good,” or whatever else. This is our
experience of what is; wonderfully simple and wonderfully complex. All that changes is perspective.
• Our longing for love is channeled through our need for connection, for oneness. But that this is
positive is only our experience of it.
• We have become divided, too divided, detached from ourselves, our world, your self. You “desire”
oneness and will have it as soon as you “Want” it. Desire and want here is the experience of the
event, but it is what it is. Does the flower “want” to grow, “desire” sunlight?

Everything I say can be contradicted; can be seen in an infinite number of other ways (thus our obsession
with religion, politics, culture, etc.) We have explored these, broken down every “thing” we can. We have
enjoyed it immensely, yet as we’ve “lost” ourself in it, we now seek connection. This is out love for family, for
romance (all limited perspectives on the same desire for connection, oneness, God, Ourself).

ALL of these perspectives, each of our individual lives, histories, personalities, dreams, fears, joys, regrets,
secrets, ALL these beautiful manifestations are like budding pedals seeking sunlight, each beyond “purpose,”
beyond right or wrong. Just look. See the beauty. See what is. See God. See Your Self.

To me: Do you think about this too much? Become unconscious too much? Tense your back and shoulders
to much? Beat yourself up too much? Not do enough? Or literally anything else in the way of you simply
letting go and doing what you truly Want to do? To doing what you do beyond purpose, for no other reason
than it brings you joy in this moment?89 Reading, jogging, traveling, spending time with family and friends,
doing these things together or doing nothing at all but talking, dancing, laughing, enjoying this moment?

Can you imagine a world where this could be your life? Is this or would this be Heaven? Can you imagine
where you could serve or worship your God – whoever or whatever that might be – ALL day, forever, if you
wanted; where you could play music, or travel or love or do any thing…not worry about money, about food,
about where you’ll sleep tonight? Can you imagine a world where you’ll simply do what you enjoy in this
moment?

We’ve needed money to provide incentive. Do we Now? Or can we house and feed everyone and then do
what we enjoy this moment together, in an infinite number of expressions and perspectives; in art,
exploration of our minds, our bodies, our spirits, our Earth, our Universe, our dimension, and so on forever?
ALL of us are interested in something; simple or complex matters not because there is no good or bad
expressions of what is, of God, of Yourself.

Just as a flower’s life would be summed up as “water, sun, earth, grow...” forever, simple, beyond good or
bad…so too are our desires and passions and everything we might do in simply enjoying this moment.

But, we must know what we do enjoy and what we don’t enjoy: Tell Yourself. You’ll need only look deeper.
Remember, looking in others IS looking in yourself. Looking only at your own thoughts or emotions is only
looking at a very limited perspective.

• Look deeply at a flower. View the world from its perspective. See the world, as it were, through its
experience of what is. Don’t project your own experience like in cartoons, but experience for
yourself the flower’s experience of life.
• Emotion doesn’t exist, but imagine, in this case, if it were to. See it enjoying this moment, feeling the
sunlight, drinking the water, sharing its pollen, revealing its individual expression of beauty by
flowing into this world, wilting, and then feeding the entire process with its remains and then
growing and flowering all over again.90
• Through the human experience, we have the conscious capacity to understand and experience
ourselves like nothing else that exists in the world we see and experience…
• So explore them all. See how beauty can manifest in anything and does manifest in everything!

All the above started out leading up to Zeitgeist II and the Venus Project (you know many would probably
move right past why $ done what its done and right to moving past it. So include the first half of Zeitgeist II
as an optional insertion here only for those who need or want it ).

Remember, everything I say is only one perspective of my understanding of the totality of my experience of
this universe, so infinitesimally small….and yet the flower could say the same about even thinking about “the
Universe.” To the flower, the world is the 5x5 feet piece of land and sky. There’s then the bees and the ants
and germs and cells and atoms; and all the way to our galaxy, our universe, and whatever is beyond it as we
literally have no idea where or even if it ends.

• ALL of this has its own perspective.






























































89

Later:
ALL
of
this
is
okay
if
you
enjoy
it.
Do
you?
That’s
all
you
have
to
ask
yourself
always.
Am
I
happy
in
this

moment?
Am
I
at
peace,
truly,
deeply
enjoying
this
moment?

90

Later:
Now
Know
you
are
that
flower,
but
with
emotion,
consciousness,
etc.!

 • Explore for yourself.

Entry 30 
My concept of spiritual leaders has always been “beyond” emotion. Jesus throwing over the tables is a huge
exception for example; and I can’t imagine the Buddha raising his voice, passionately and emotionally getting
carried away in the delivery of a speech. ALL this is illusory; is a limited perspective of what is, of God, of
Yourself.

• To me: Thus don’t conceptualize “your” role in this world or this “movement” or whatever else.
Flower your beauty into this world in whatever form it arises. The only “responsibility” you have
(because I know you feel one – hence guilt, shame, fear, etc!) is to find out for your self what you do
enjoy in this moment and thus what will manifest your own individual beauty into this world most
beautifully and naturally and wondrously!

Entry 31 
I always viewed emotional manipulation (as in jurors and juries, songs eliciting emotional response, etc.) as, in
fact, “negative” in some way, as in exploitation of weakness or of controlling, etc. I had/have this knowledge
of how to “use” it if I wanted. But this is beautiful too! It has a way of focusing our consciousness onto this
moment, fleeting and ephemeral as it is.

• Just as a flowers bloom is to the totality of the Universe, so too is our emotion to the totality of what
we Are – and yet both are incredibly, magnificently beautiful.91
• As you are right now, just as you are, with all your failures, all your regrets, all your could have been
or never will be…all this is wonderfully, uniquely beautiful.
• So use music and film to present all this!!!

Entry 32 
Where you look, you create. As we discover more about ourselves (our bodies, minds, cells, etc.) and about
the Universe (Hubble, Einstein, etc.) we are creating these things collectively. We “see” these things when we
decide to collectively. When we see it individually, we are sick, handicapped, crazy, or visionaries shortly after
assassinated.

Entry 33 
In the development of humankind, museums are interesting to look at. At first, they had the “creations” of
other cultures (Ripley’s Believe It or Not is possibly a modern day extension of this). “Miracles” have existed
forever. Examples of individuals who realized the nature of what is, Now, have existed forever.

• We can understand that, see that through science, technology, even philosophy and religion.
• Imagine what else we can discover! Imagine what else we can create!
• Imagine it and make it be.






























































91

Faithless
–
Last
This
Day


 Entry 34 
Requiem for a Dream Song:

Intro your use of it in depicting the consequences of our lack of presence; not in being “wrong,” “bad,”
“sinful,” or whatever else; just what has been, what remains to be, and what will continue to be unless we
change.

• Not because we “have” to or because if we don’t we’ll be punished.

• No hell, no heaven, just the consequences.
• Do we want to change, then?
• Are we ready to?

All it takes is understanding the consequences in order to not do something that is harmful. You do it
because you don’t “know” yet how harmful it is. We now see how harmful it is so those who know we can
change will change, simple. For the others, they simply don’t understand yet that it is possible to change, thus
they don’t “know” they can. So for you, first, let’s understand how this has developed (this is Zeitgeist and
can be explained for those who need it [FYI teachers will be the new profession!]). For those who know it,
there will be guides for that too, but none more meaningful than your own experience of life through
thought, emotion, and movements of consciousness through varying perspectives. In addition, there’s the
Power of Now and this, for example 

Entry 35 
It’s a bitter-sweet symphony that’s life.

• I’ve taken you down the only road I’ve ever been down.
• Our parents and theirs and so on can say that. Yet we can take our own road, beyond anything else in
the past. We need not continue the roads we’ve inherited.
• Just as the caterpillar leaves behind gravity and all its laws and rules, so too can we leave behind
greed, corruption, our “sinful” nature – as it’s come to be labeled – all a product of our design, the
inevitable end of the roads we’ve been on.
• But for the first time in thousands of years, we can choose a completely different
road/path/direction for humanity.
• We also can understand that we will have to, at some point, move beyond the intrinsic limitations of
our current path. They are inevitable byproducts of the nature of the system, a system we now know
why and how it developed and that we no longer need it.
• We even know that if we keep it, it will hold us back from expansion, evolution, from – to the best
we can – simply enjoying this moment as much as humanly possible 

Entry 36 
Look at the flowering of consciousness on the planet through the evolution of life as we know it. Just look at
the development of indigenous peoples and tribes and civilizations. Watch the budding flowers of love and
curiosity and pain and all that is life. Those connected to the whole and those separate from it. None right,
not wrong, all part of something much bigger, connected, One, God, You.
 Entry 37 
Museo de Oro (from the plaque at the entrance):

“We want active visitors, children, young adults and adults who are surprised by what they see, who enjoy
their own curiosity. We like those who ask questions, observe, make comparisons with their previous
experience and with what experts have written; we want people who express their own opinions and draw
their own conclusions.”

• What a great way to start a museum! It’s not “here is truth: remember it, learn it;” it’s “here’s life;
explore it!”

The study of indigenous peoples shows the evolution of our conscious understanding of our world. Tribes
worked in their system, be it a desert or marsh; they learned how to survive in their world (Go on with this.)
Technology has been those developments which freed man to explore more of his world.

• Zenues in Colombia building canals to attract water; this is technology!

• Desalination, growth of foods and plants, energy and so on.

Indigenous peoples still exist everywhere. The “state of the world” matters not to them and their reality. No,
this transformation is only from our perspective. Every country, region, family, human being…will have their
own perspective of what this transformation will signify or entail. For Christians it’s the Coming of Age, for
Hindus the coming of Nirvana, Buddhists this, Republicans that, America this, Africa that, and so on forever.
But forget about all that, if only for a moment, and see all these perspectives as part of a collective whole, all
points of view a valid path towards the simple realization of this: We Are One.

• Only through this knowledge can we then understand our world in a more unified, holistic way that
will enable us to end scarcity for all peoples, everywhere.
• Leave behind any “label” for what this is – good, bad, etc – or interpretation – it’s significance or
whatever else – and see it as the simple realization that what’s best for me is best for you and what’s
best for you is what’s best for me.

Entry 38 
These realizations are in no way revolutionary, we’ve simply forgotten them. We’ve been detached from
understanding our part in the whole (because of t-shirt factories, outlets, cities, etc.). But as a human species,
we’ve known this: cite incredible indigenous examples!

• Cosmology and Super-Natural exploration have been central, even dominant in the development of
many cultures (This, it seems, is a role I am drawn to quite beautifully, no work, just my function ).
• Plants and Knowledge: “Shamans used to help immerse themselves in the spiritual dimension of
reality and visit other levels of the cosmos. Doing this induced a state of trance that taught the
secrets and powers of the universe and in which the invisible was made visible.”
• This is nothing revolutionary, just forgotten is all!

Myths and Rituals for Renewing the World

 • Time was conceived as being cyclical or like a spiral, inspired by events repeated in nature, such as
the movements of the stars, animals reproducing and women’s periods.
• The metamorphosis that happened in certain animals – insects, butterflies, etc. – represented the
never-ending cycle of life, death, and rebirth that all beings were subjected to.
• We don’t need to “re-learn” these things, per se, only remember them 

Entry 39 
People haven’t the slightest idea just how powerful of creatures they really are. Emotions are an extraordinary
experience that, when properly channeled, have given us our deepest insights into technology, poetry, art,
philosophy, etc. yet we understand only the tip of the iceberg!

Entry 40 
TODAY’S HEADLINE:

“25,684 Dead Today Due to More Than Two Weeks Without Sufficient Food.”

Entry 41 
This is the state of our world

• Statistics, photos, videos, etc.

• This isn’t “dramatic,” this shouldn’t “pull your heart strings.” I do not want you to feel guilty. This is
the state of our world; unemotionally, simply true. Even in countries of affluence, millions are
without jobs, literally unable to work enough to comfortably support their families; they don’t have
enough money to treat a disease they have. Food is thrown away every day at restaurants all over the
world while millions starve. People spend thousands of dollars on suits, millions on cars and on
homes with 14 bathrooms and gold faucets…
• We do not say these things to manipulate your emotions so that we can sell you some product or
idea. This…Is…The State of Our World.
• Is it any wonder then, that deep down, we are all suffering, all searching for happiness, for peace, for
Love, for God….when this is the state of our world?
• You can feel their pain if you look hard enough. Turn off your mind, don’t judge, look for blame,
analyze or do any thing else, just look and feel what you feel. Feel, in fact, what they feel. See for
yourself the sensation and rush of the emotions entering your body at this moment. The ability to
feel such a thing as emotion is an incredible gift and in this case is telling us very plainly, very simply:
The state of our world is unacceptable.

Ok, very good, but you’ve been here before, haven’t you? We all have. “Sure,” you think, “the world sucks,
but what can I do? People are the way they are!”

• You need to let this happen. “You” aren’t doing anything, not “teaching,” or “writing a book” or
whatever else. This is not a change in action, it’s a change in mindset, a change in perspective, a
change in consciousness.
 • You might write a book, you may give lectures, you may start a podcast, and so on forever. What you
do is not important. Shifting away from your conditioned consciousness and allowing something new
to emerge is important; not what emerges, but that it emerges.
• You do not need to convince yourself of this; you already know it. You just have to remember it.

When you get up in the morning, don’t think, “What am I doing to do today?” Focus on your state of being,
on your state of consciousness. Feel all the sensations you feel at this moment; the comfort of the bed,
warmth of the sunlight coming through the window, sound of birds chirping, the joy and peace of breathing,
of being alive! Then, see what happens. If emotions or thoughts arise, allow them to be. Observe them. Have
the same perspective on them as you do on the comfort of your bed. Then listen to their message; see what
desires they cause to arise in you. Do not take them “personally,” but do pay attention to them fully. What
you “do” will then happen naturally.

Remember that the Venus Project was here in April.92 Opportunities like this are everywhere if you’re present
to see them. Don’t get so wrapped up in “what I’m doing” that you miss these. Life is much more complex
than we could ever imagine. Don’t fool yourself into thinking I know where I’m going or what’s best. Speak
and think from the deeper state of awareness, of peace.

Even if you speak or write or share in any way these kinds of realizations, they will only be “received” if
something much deeper is operating within you. Millions have read the Power of Now and the world is no
different. Fresco’s been saying the exact same thing for nearly 50 years and yet technology has not changed.
We already know these things! All of us! The homeless, teachers, CEOs, stay-at-home Moms, Presidents,
everyone knows this, so I don’t need to tell you anything. But, you do need to start listening, not to my
words, but to yourself, to your own body and mind and soul. Look around you at the world. What is it telling
you? Look within at your own deepest thoughts, feelings, fears, insecurities, dreams, etc. What are they telling
you? Listen, now, to this moment. What can you learn now?

• We want a “manual” on life…well you have it: This Moment.

• Start Listening.

Entry 42 
“Argentineans don’t have roaches, man. They just throw away the filter! No ‘roach motel,’ no ‘what do you
do with the roach?’ They don’t exist!”93

• This is how racism, poverty, sexism, hatred, greed, corruption, terrorism…all this will be to future
civilizations. It will be very difficult for them to imagine it even possible to do and allow the things
we do today. Deep down, we already feel this way. This is the underlying cause of depression,
loneliness, sadness, etc. And these feelings – based on that knowledge – are then the cause for crime,
violence, aggression, etc.
• There has been a movement of consciousness for many in the world over the past 2,500 years
(remember how short this is!). Yet aside from a few, we’ve only known the realization that “we are
not our thoughts and feelings, that we are the observer of these.”





























































92

Its
obvious
that
if
I
had
the
chance
to
meet
with
Jacque
Fresco
and
the
Venus
Project,
I’d
have
wanted
to!
Well,

they
actually
came
to
Bogota
literally
while
I
was
there
and
I
simply
didn’t
know,
haha.

93

”Nico talking about “roaches,” or what’s left of a joint made without a filter. In Argentina, they always use filters,
always, so the concept of “roaches” simply doesn’t exist, lol.

 • With this realization, there is deep peace, knowledge of connectedness, of oneness. We Know that
We Are One! Thus any pain we feel – the emotions that arise – are wonderful movements of
consciousness.
• BUT we know that we are One! So there is no “you” suffering and “me” at peace, for We Know
that’s an empty distinction. If we are one, then we are starving every day, hurting every day, dying
every day. I am starving every day, hurting every day, dying every day…
• Emotions are different. We can look at the state of the world and know that 99% of it is created, is
conditioned, is illusory, and yet there is nothing illusory about the suffering of a starving baby crying
or a mother’s grief, etc. This is the 1% of suffering that is very real and completely preventable.
• Not only do we know that we can stop this, that “I” can help “your” suffering, but that it is only I
that is suffering; only what is, that in this moment is suffering, is crying, is wanting to change.
• If through your individual manifestation of consciousness you are able to experience Oneness, God,
than what emotions are arising now, in this moment in the world?
• See the world, not as a concept, not as an illusion, but as the person, physically, who is dying right
now. Need we see this with our physical eyes to feel its significance in our moment, right now?
• Look deep within through the lens of what is.

You’ll see that We Know that we must change, not because it’s bad, not because it’s wrong, unfair, or
whatever; but because We Know there is better.

• We are flowers seeking light.

• We are sick only wanting health.
• We are divided, we want to be One.
• This is what we want.
• This is what I want.

Why have we not been able to see what is clearly before us? As a people, why have we continued to suffer
needlessly, to continue to seek childish, illusory things?

• Because YOU have failed to do the same thing (as the masses!).
• In this moment, YOU ARE SUFFERING. If you do not feel it, then you are not in your own
body; you are not fully present. The suffering you feel is a Global Evolutionary Pointer beyond itself.
You have sought to alleviate suffering, but you’ve only eliminated your “feeling” it, your “being”
it…YOU STILL SUFFER.94
• If the world suffers, you suffer, because You Are the World. You Are what Is.
• YOU KNOW THIS ALREADY!

So as a flower without light wilts and a baby without food dies, so too will you continue to suffer until you
become what you already know you are: One.

This is not a call to the masses. This is a call to whoever truly hears this. Religious leaders, world leaders,
spiritual masters, the Dalai Lama, President Obama, CEOs, Janitors….whoever and wherever you are, You
Know This…so it is you that must change.

• All “you” need to do this is BECOME ONE.






























































94

This
is
not
to
say
that
you
cannot
be
at
peace.
In
fact,
you
must
be.
No,
this
is
like
looking
down
to
see
you
have

a
splinter
or
are
hungry.
Obviously
you
will
act
on
these!

 Entry 43 
Sidenote:

• Set a date for the turning in of all money, doesn’t matter the amount, doesn’t matter if you’re
homeless, bankrupt, or a millionaire…have everyone turn in all their $ for an equal stake in
everyone’s resources.
• As no one has any thing to gain from misleading you, it is impossible for them to “take advantage”
of you. This, as roaches are to the Argentineans, is irrelevant. It doesn’t even make sense. And that’s
the point. Taking advantage of each other truly does not make sense. That we ever even had this as a
concept is difficult to understand. We are happier, live better, have more freedom, are more joyful,
when we are one entity. Every discovery by any human can immediately benefit every human. Every
advance in individual knowledge will be an advance in ALL knowledge. With this new incentive,
there will always be some of us looking forward, dreaming, giving all we have to be better. Just as
there will always be many that simply find deep appreciation, freedom and joy from the
implementation of these advances.
• For if any of us are advancing, ALL of us are advancing, I am advancing.

Of course this won’t make sense from within the perspective of ego. Of course this won’t “make sense” to
the masses. That is of no consequence. The ego is extremely fragile – you know because most of yours has
collapsed. You know the peace beyond illusion, the pointlessness of selfishness, greed, etc., and you see
clearly what is and what needs to be done. So do it! Don’t you see that waiting because no one will
understand it IS still the ego! By believing it has power in the world, you give it power in the world! By
“waiting for people to change,” you are waiting on yourself!

• The one ego is about to collapse, is collapsing, in fact, in this moment, now, as you read this. Now
as I write it. Now….Now….Still Now. Do you feel it?
• The sensation is nothing like you’ve ever felt because you’ve been limited to “your” individual
experience of these realizations.
• We have only, as individuals, realized these things, become these things.
• Now I am ready.
• Now WE are ready.

Entry 44 
By stating nothing more than what is on this Earth is equally all of ours, we have more than enough to
eliminate poverty and hunger from concepts to ever be thought of again by humanity. This is all we have to
do?!?! Nothing else but look around, in this moment, at all the incredible, amazing things we’ve been blessed
with – wonderful foods, technology, beauty, etc. – and that it’s all ours!

• “You” can do this right now!

• You do not need to wait on anyone or anything to change this.
• Simply Know it Now!

Entry 45 
What are you giving up? Things? Computers? Cars? Houses? Clothes?
 • Cars? What? You’d rather be going somewhere and suffering than here, now, at peace?
• Houses? Have faith in the kindness of humanity. I lived for a year in Colombia like this! Be gentle
and ask. And if you don’t have a place and I do, you can have it, that’s a promise!
• But that’s the point! Look around! How many empty houses are there? How much food is being
thrown away?
• We have enough!!

Entry 46 
Offer all of this, unedited, raw, but with explanations later if needed.95 The idea is that what arises, at this
moment, is not personal, just personally experienced. So why be “ashamed,” why fear or even worry about
being hypocritical? So what, then “you” had conflicting thoughts, conflicting emotions…well of course, lol, we
are, after all, human  So allow them to arise; feel the surge of energy, “be” it to whatever extent you can still
observe it; don’t “take it personally,” just talk about it, observe it, go in and out of it, have fun with it!

• Feel the sunlight of thought, the water of emotion.

• Then feed the world with love and observe that blossoming from whatever experience you choose 

Entry 47 

“The emotion always tells the truth.” - Tolle

Entry 48 
5-29-2010

New Dimensions are like:

(Show diagram here)

When you’re in one and enter another, it’s a very small hole, an opening (you can look back now and realize
you were feeling it – you just didn’t know it yet [amazing concept! What do you feel now but don’t “know
you know” yet?]) that you accelerate into an entire new way of understanding things. You bask in this
newness, this freshness, for as long as you want before either staying until the point of attachment and
therefore suffering (the emotion that points beyond itself to the next dimension) or you “change.” We can’t
say it’s “better” to move onto the next dimension or “worse/bad/wrong” to stay behind, but it is against “the
nature” of things, the natural impulse of the universe as we know it (there may be different universes with
entirely different impulses).96






























































95

This
was
the
first
time
I
thought
about
doing
this,
lol.
Whatcha
think?
Is
anyone
reading
this?
Um,
hello?

Anyone??
Oh
Nooo,
I’m alooooone!….Hahahaha


96

Later:
We
can
say
“wrong.”
Suffering
is
a
reaction
to
lack
of
understanding.
Wrong
=
against
what
is;
no
emotion.

We know this negatively through suffering and have seen the “attachment leading to suffering” process that
the Buddha saw reflected in our entire history (as a species and in your individual life) (give examples of
individual life: new job, new relationship, unforeseen opportunities – really think and you’ll see that these
were absolutely the most difficult decisions you ever made – and the best ones. Not best as in your life
circumstances changed, but as in you grew as a human being, stretched beyond, reached beyond where you
thought you could before. You BECOME your “better” self, better as in the next dimension; a new way of
viewing and experiencing the world has been let in - ALLOWED to emerge! Think hard and you’ll feel what
I’m talking about – it’s as if you LET GO of the attachment to keeping things the same, secure, what you’ve
known and are comfortable with. The same job, same relationship, same hobbies, same foods, same whatever
– when you let go of this attachment, one of only two things happens: 1) you realize you have exactly what
you want; that you don’t “need” it – you’re not “attached” to it anymore – but that having it makes you
happy, brings you joy, or 2) you realize this isn’t how you feel so you open up and actually allow new things
to come in (you’re not looking actively, per se, or at least you don’t have to be – this depends on the intensity
of your emotional draw to or away from it – but you can also just be “scanning,” if you will, for mental,
emotional or physical pointers of possible changes/new opportunities/new directions in your life.

You can’t “go wrong” here because whether you “give up” anything is relative to how you feel, deeply,
unfiltered through anyone else’s perception but yours. I’m not telling you how you feel and what to do.
You’re telling yourself.

• So tell yourself. Better, listen to yourself telling you.

• Listen to yourself telling you what changes you need to make.
• And, importantly, don’t look for reward, validation, acceptance, congratulations, even my agreeing or
disagreeing with you that it’s what you “should” or “shouldn’t” have done…
• Your answer will be in your new inner state. What do your emotions tell you now?
• Start the process again.

This applies from every perspective: emotional, intellectual, societal, global, universal.

Entry 49 
Sidenote:

We always get stuck in “deciding what to do” – in business plans, in projects, in relationships, in job
decisions, in “my life,” even as big as “What are humans here for? What is our purpose?” These assume a
static trajectory, a beginning and end, as if we can look forward from where we are now and “see” it from our
current perspectives. That’s not how this Universe operates. Things do not gradually build up, progress,
evolve, etc. it is drastic, immediate, exponential growth; all the time, in everything (examples! Tipping Point!).

We just need to plan with this knowledge. Look at it like we just did (in the previous few entries). You know
what you know now (and look deep to everything the universe is telling you). Based on this knowledge, this
(or these) is best: Let’s start this project, start this “relationship,” do this or that – and keep in the Now,
always “scanning” for new information, new options, new ways to understand the now. If, at any time, you
receive anything new, give it as much conscious energy (in your thinking about it or talking about it or in
making immediate changes, whatever; all of this depends simply on what is being “asked for” by the present
moment). This can be (and is!) a very natural process, but we’ve been resisting it – attached to – what we
currently have – and thus suffering has resulted as has “addiction.”97

Then continue/repeat this process. “Change” is only ever considered bad from the perspective of someone
attached or addicted. How could improvement (or whatever is done in its genuine pursuit) ever be seen
negatively? We again quote these all the time, but never listen to their message: (Abe Lincoln, Ben Franklin,
Emerson, and whoever else!)

There truly is no such thing as “failure.” How could we ever think in this way? You know what you know
now and with that knowledge, you believe this to be best – that’s ALL you can ever do!

• The material difference is in whether you are really listening. You know the answer. Your life is
telling you.
• If you are suffering, look to what that suffering is trying to teach you; to what changes it is pointing
to.
• These can be physical changes in your life, or emotional or psychological…but almost always it is
“letting go” – physically or mentally or emotionally – of something you have become attached or
addicted to.
• You are your own textbook here, your own guide.
• Look. Feel. Learn. Change.
• This is Life.
• Welcome to it.

Entry 50 
Once we do this individually (although don’t just jump to trying to understand this as it applies to others –
you can only understand it if you’re open to it, if you’ve “let go” of your attachment to your current way of
understanding things – you – others – the world – whatever. You can have beliefs – things you believe are
true based on what your life is telling you (in the form of fears, emotions, any suffering or joy pointing
beyond itself). (Intro a little more if needed) (Stopped flow)

Entry 51 
Suffering is pointing beyond itself in the world in many ways. Negatively, I don’t even need to tell you.
(Quote whatever examples – starvation, poverty, inequality, etc.)

• This amount of suffering is reflected – is literally felt – in each and every one of us. It is stronger in
some and weaker in others, but we all feel it.
• There is a collective suffering pointing beyond itself, pointing to collective change.
• Cite whatever else negatively (tons of examples here).

But more importantly, MUCH more importantly, there are new creations, new ways of understanding the
world, new ways of viewing “your life,” of LIVING your life, Now.

• The Venus Project, What the Bleep, 10 Dimensions, Power of Now, tons of others!98






























































97

Explore
our
understanding
of
addiction
as
applied
to
this!

 Entry 52 
You’ll sense the “fear” that arises as you read this and begin even thinking about change – change in
whatever, but especially attachments like religion.

• What is religion?
• It’s a way of explaining yours and others – all of our – experience of life.
• It says this is how life began, here is why, here is what you shouldn’t do; love others – or whatever
else.
• So it is an “understanding” of the world. Great, that’s wonderful!
• Is that how you understand it Now, in this moment?
• Does your life point to continuing that understanding? Do you have joy – are at peace – feel happy –
or does your life point to change? To letting go? To staying the same?

(Show Change Diagram)

Change can be in whatever form; staying the same is a state of deep peace and joy; letting go varies in
intensity – physical or emotional or psychological.

• This is all we must ever do in any area of our lives.

• This is simply the flower seeking light.
• This is all we must do as a human species.

Some have let go of more than others, have come to understand more. Those who do understand need to
push onward. Let us know what you know! Share! We are listening!

• Everyone else: let go and find joy.

• You’ll see you find joy in your own way – true freedom! – and that the collective will combine for the
joy of all.
• Together, we will all find individual joy and collective joy; we will, in fact, learn that these pursuits are
one in the same.
• For my finding joy gives you joy and your finding joy gives me joy.
• This is the most powerful force in the universe as we know it.
• Love: Realization of Oneness.

Entry 53 
This book is not “how I view life” nor is it “my understanding of things,” even “my opinion.” As I am
writing this, it is how I understand things. If you ask me later, maybe – hopefully! – I will have changed.
Knowledge must stop being viewed as static. We are not on a path from A to B; we are here, now, always.
And while we are here, all we can do is understand what we can, improve what we want, and find joy to the
furthest extent possible.

• We have learned – we know – that I find joy when you find joy. We Know This (think Christmas,
bedtime stories, religions, etc.)
• Stop saying it, Start Knowing It – and living based on that knowledge.

































































































































































































98

Later:
Ted.com
videos!!!
(Can
you
believe
I
didn’t
even
know
Ted.com
existed
when
I
wrote
this?
LOL.

 • We must start living based on the knowledge we have now.
• No more fear, no more attachment, plain, simple.
• We do what we know to be best Now.

What does this mean? It means to stop feeling bad, beating yourself up, or anything like this. There is no such
thing as making a bad decision, only an uninformed one.

• You realize, Now, in this moment, that you did something wrong, made a mistake (in your life path,
job, relationship, whatever)?
• Great! That’s wonderful! You Now know differently and have thus improved.
• This can never be seen otherwise.
• Any feeling or thought otherwise is based on attachment or addiction and will lead to suffering if
given conscious attention or energy.
• This is the evolution of consciousness as we know it in this universe.

What about when we know but didn’t change? When we did what we knew we shouldn’t have, etc.?

• Knowing and changing are one in the same.

• If you did something that was bad for you, it is because you did not know better, always.
• I don’t mean “bad” as in wrong – like you stole or lied or cheated (even murdered, raped, etc.) – I
mean that there are consequences for every action, every thought, every emotion you have.
• When you did whatever you did, thought whatever you did, said, felt or whatever you did – it is
because you did not understand the consequences that would result from it.
• You didn’t know it would make you feel so bad, was damaging your body and spirit with toxic
emotions like hate, selfishness or the resulting shame, guilt, etc.
• Your goal, always, is complete joy, deep peace, Now, in this moment.
• If you do anything – allow yourself to continue thinking or feeling negatively even – it is affecting
your state of joy, of deep peace now, in this moment.
• When we think these things, feel these things…they have arisen, there they are.
• You now know they are there.
• Observe them. What are they trying to tell you?
• If listening brings you joy, continue; if not, evaluate whether you should continue giving conscious
attention/energy to them.
• You tell yourself this. Listen to yourself telling you.
• Are you at joy Now?

Why am I telling you this? Because I know it to be true; I understand it; and I want to be happy; I want to be
at peace…And I know I can be at peace only when you are at peace.

• When we don’t fully understand that change is possible, we don’t “want” it, but it is impossible to
want what is bad for you – what will bring you more suffering than joy.
• We can still eat candy, smoke a cigarette (have a Coca-cola, haha) or whatever because that can bring
you more joy than suffering. In other words, your enjoyment of it now can outweigh the
consequences it will have later (cavities, extra weight, shorter life, whatever).
• It is up to how we experience joy to tell others whether what we’re doing now is “right” or “worth
it,” etc.
• Only we know this.
 • And once we know, we change.
• It’s that simple.

Many in the world claim to know that the world must change.

• You now know how they feel.

• What do you feel?

Entry 54 
What’s interesting about applying this new way of thinking to the future is that we see there’s really no reason
to ever simply “stay the same.”

• Our option to “let go” is always there, so why not keep what you have but “let go” to the possibility
of better?
• It’s a no brainer: no downside with infinite upside. Exactly!
• So ask yourself what you haven’t let go of Now?
• What aren’t you open to the infinity of possible “betters”?

Thus why do “the masses” continue as they do? So distracted, so hurtful, so greedy, so EVIL (I hear my
Mom scream so passionately).

• “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

• No words speak more to the power of love, the power of knowing, simply knowing, that love is
more powerful than anything else known in the universe…
• That when you are one, there is literally no end to what you can accomplish.
• No end to what I can accomplish.

When you know this, what is there even to forgive? Would you not simply share it passionately, for your
whole life, in your actions, in your thoughts, your state of being at every moment…Now. Always. LOVE.

• What more could we ever want Now, in this moment?

• What tastes more sweet, bursts our hearts with more joy, than Love. Giving. Letting Go. Now.
• Welcome in. Be open.
• LIVE.

Anyone, at anytime, who is not in this state is simply one who does not know better. It’s still conceptual,
still off in the future, still to be obtained, to be reached, even to be shared.

• If you know this now, you will do, think and feel whatever will lead to more of this joy – for yourself
and then for others as soon as you know they are yourself, that you are one brotherhood, pedals on
the same blossoming flower that we call Planet Earth.

Entry 55 
Crystal Castles – Through the Hosiery99






























































99

Wrote
this
entry
while
listening
to
this
song.

Much energy is being wasted on looking back, on even understanding how we got here. Look where we are
Now! Look, from here, Now, where we can go!

• The Venus Project, space travel, other dimensions of consciousness, quantum physics…
• Iphones? Ipads? HA!! Imagine the combined creations of mankind put in the hands of everyone!
Because that will enable every person to use what we have – Now – to do the same thing, forever!
• Imagine what we can accomplish. Imagine and it will be.
• Look around at those in the audience Now. You have 60 seconds to do so.100
• This is about YOU, not this screen, not these words, not a new way of understanding reality, not a
new you, a new world; these are all thoughts, in our heads, about some possible future – one with
peace or better or whatever.
• We are not there, nor will we ever be.
• We are Here. Now. Always.

Entry 56 
Idea: Get Crystal Castles – or anyone – get all who will do it – and make the soundtrack!

This (the last 15 pages or so101) would be a perfect movie! It needs the concept of $ introduced but this could
be done quickly, undramatically, wow, really, this is the general script. Just go back and fill in the details, lol
xxix

Entry 57 
Crystal Castles: Tell Me What to Swallow102

Doing poorly is not knowing any better. All problems you see in the world – ALL of them – exist because we
didn’t know how to solve them. Your life, your bad decisions, whatever.

WE DO NOW.

Entry 58 
Follow up (after movie experience):

One problem people have in understanding the significance of events in their life is the emotional
intensity/significance of particular experiences. For example, you watch a movie like that (like Zeitgeist, etc.)
and you feel then, in the moment, that you MUST change. Or whatever it is you feel, but things like music
and movies (or any other number of inputs we give ourselves – drugs, caffeine, even emotions are these).
They are the lens through which we experience reality in this moment. Emotions arise and emotions fade
away. When they’re there, listen deeply to what they are saying, listen to what they are pointing to. There is no
“you” that feels this way or that way – that is an illusory conceptual self only existing in your mind. Simply
listen now, always.





























































100

I
was
envisioning
this
being
told
in
a
theatre.
You
could
also
simply
look
around
the
room
wherever
you
are

reading
this.

101

Last
x
entries.

102

This
entry
was
written
while
listening
to
that
song.

 Entry 59 
We may have lived longer, grown bigger, learned much, but humanly speaking, we are children.

• Nothing more do you need to truly understand than that we are all still children.
• We are born into this world – and assuming only that we feel each other’s suffering and often take it
on ourselves, “catch it,” per se – assuming no more than this, we can see why babies cry so much.
• There is suffering everywhere!
• Many absorb this potently, many subtly, all partially.
• Especially considering how vulnerable and influenceable we know babies and children to be; we
know they are vulnerable, susceptible, innocent…that’s why we protect them like we do!
• That’s why we understand when they make mistakes; that they’re still learning, still don’t know about
consequences, still don’t know better – and thus deserve our patience, our gentleness, but also our
discipline, our guiding at times.
• These words are no more than this: guiding teachings, pointers beyond themselves to something
much greater.
• These are not Kevin Hanson’s words, these are your words to yourself.
• This is from the part of you that understands to the part of you that doesn’t.

The part of you that doesn’t is illusory and superficial: the ego; an evolved self-defense mechanism designed
to serve its host’s need to survive in an environment of scarcity.

• Individual attachment to the ego beyond its evolutionary purpose will result in “suffering” pointing
to “letting go” and moving beyond itself.

All the patterns of the ego (and you will feel them all the time – from thoughts about people, to what just
happened, to how unfair that is, etc!), the driving force behind ALL of it is “self” preservation.

• In an environment of scarcity, where the amount of individuals in an environment cannot be

maintained with current resources, individuals must compete for available resources for survival.
• The individual is thus “separate” from others and driven by the “self preservation” impulse to
survive in such an environment.

This is the collective consciousness awakening, this is us awakening, this us YOU awakening.

• Can you feel it?

Entry 60 
Way sidenote, but visions of theatrical trailers like those for Scientology. The music of Crystal Castles is
Perfect.

• Announce a release date, globally, in theatres and released online – this will inspire those….ha, ok,
I’m manipulating the ego again – HA! – GOTCHA!, lol, Buddha laugh 

Release trailers online, only announcing an online release. Have people see it and endorse it – Tolle, Chakra,
Oprah, Obama, the Dalia Lama – LOL, damn, ego Again! Haha.
 • But really, not trying to manipulate but only to get attention, genuinely.
• People who can see will see, who can hear will hear, and then tell others.
• Then release it online globally, for free.xxx

Entry 61 
We don’t want your money, your time, we don’t want any thing. We want you to be happy, to be fed, to be
free to live and to dream.

• And we can do that!

Entry 62 
Before criticizing our entertainment culture and the constant movies, news, television, internet, etc….see the
POWER of the media!

• This is not an obstacle, but an outlet!

• Yes, you’re right, it’s powerful, so use that power!
• You have their attention!

Entry 63 
Think of all your dreams, all your goals, all your prayers….what are they? I want this, let this happen, stop
this from happening, help me this or help them that, ALL so that what?

• So that you and everyone and everything that can be happy and free IS happy and free.
• This, above all else, we dream of, hope for, pray for.
• Now, in this moment, we see that prayer has been answered.
• You want God to provide? Look and see that He has!
• We need only what God has provided.

Entry 64 
All of these are various perspectives you can see things through, different intense states of awareness – of
emotion, thought, whatever you want, whatever fulfills your function. For me, I’ve needed space, time to
myself, energetic silence, stillness (as Nico said about Marce leaving). For those who need this, need space,
time to soak in joy, travel, see the world…Take it. There are many whose function is to “lead”, organize, all
for the benefit of others. You know these people – either in small groups or in large organizations. You know
the people who just genuinely want to help.

Well, in our world you will be free to do any of that. Thus our “leaders” who will “work” and “sacrifice”
much, will do so for no reward but the joy they find in doing it. No bigger house, no more things, not even
“fame.” You know this feeling and you know people in whom it is intense. Imagine having the freedom to
do whatever you want to foster this calling or any other emotion you wish: Joy.

Entry 65 
5-30-2010
There’s no such thing as “sacrificing” now for later – only doing what you think will bring you the most joy.

• Even if you “suffer” now – which could be seen as sacrificing your current state for a future state – if
you suffer due to the knowledge of what will result, that it’s “positive” consequences will be that the
world will experience more joy than suffering – then your “suffering’ is no suffering because you are
operating from a deeper perspective – simply a longer-term knowledge.
• What sacrifice?
• The question is irrelevant.

Entry 66 
The world as we know it is but an external representation of our internal state. The world has evolved
through competition to produce its current state now. Now, there are this many resources, now there is an
intelligent, conscious, feeling, thinking species inhabiting it.

As consciousness has expanded, suffering has intensified.

(Stopped flow)

Entry 67 
(Show Change/New Dimensions Diagram)

1) As we progress, we do so through genuine creativity realized with intense joy and awareness of internal
thoughts and emotions. Joy intensifies the experience of these insights and thus our further joy in pursuing
them.

• It is through this process that we “advance.”

• However, these “advances” in thought, science, things, whatever, can lead to attachment.

2) When attachment occurs, so does suffering. Thus those who have already realized their attachment and
thus Know, can provided peace and understanding to those resisting the return.

• Kyle is this. Tolle is this.

• Show diagram here.

3) Thus I am this. Those who are “driven” to advance, improve, whatever.

• Intensity balances itself out.

Entry 68 
Being in a hurry

Wow, I never realized how engrained this was. The end of the monetary system (of the ego) is the end of this
underlying, persistent feeling driving nearly everything we do. I, even now, feel this. I’m in a hurry to evolve!
To receive the next insight! To put this in words so I can share it! For you it’s getting to work, picking up the
kids, meeting that deadline, finding a job, finding food, finding love. We’ve been running our whole lives only
to realize God has been running after us all along. Happiness is here, now. In a race, we need to run, but
we’re not running against each other anymore; we’re all going the same direction – in our own ways, at our
own pace – but all together, One.

Incentive was needed to always at least be better than those around you, to at least survive. Yet we can all
now survive, and thrive!

Entry 69 
During the transition, we might face some challenges, some who don’t understand yet and require our
patience and our love. We’ll also need to work a lot – communicate with each other, open up to each other –
plus manually we’ll need to build, think, etc. Everything might be “difficult” for awhile…

• But think of getting up every morning knowing that this is what you were working towards – not
your boss or his/her boss, etc. – but to the good of all human beings on Planet Earth!
• Forget Folgers! That’s the best part of waking up!!

Entry 70 
If you knew that I Am God (that I Am I Am), what would you do? What would you ask yourself? What
would you do if you could do anything at all, no matter the limitation, literally anything you could possibly
imagine?

• You would do what brings you Joy, Now, Always.

• You do know this.
• Go ahead: ask yourself the question 

Entry 71 
You think it (the transition) will be difficult to do because no one will want to do what you don’t want to do.
Maria washes and I dry – on a global level! Really!103

• But here’s the thing: even if this wasn’t true and you did have to occasionally “work” – even as you
know it today – realize that that’s what you’re doing NOW!!!!!
• You’re working, now, why?
• Does it bring you joy?
• Are you happy?

Entry 72 
Thinking: you could write such a great poem! You could create such an amazing film! You could this or
that…well, you just did!

• This moment, Now, what more is it?

• Your experience, your thought, your feelings…you, in this moment, IS that creation.






























































103

I’ve
always
hated
to
wash
the
dishes
but
loved
to
dry
them.
When
eating
at
Maria’s
the
first
time,
I
discovered

that
she
hated
to
dry
the
dishes
but
loved
to
wash
them,
lol.
She
and
I
now
love
to
clean
the
dishes
together
since

we
both
get
to
do
what
we
love
and
avoid
what
we
hate.
This,
on
a
global
level,
really


 Entry 73 
I want to create a new world.

• From all “I” perspectives, this is true.

“Life” article104

• Life has evolved due to a brutal dance of survival.

• In the case of humans, the concept of “self” was introduced along with consciousness, thus this
concept or “entity” was due to undergo the same evolutionary process.
• There has always been a “struggle,” if you will, between survival and
creation/exploration/investigation/stillness (look at flowers, dogs, cats, etc.)
• We already understand the ego quite well as a human species.
• Jesus, Buddha and other have understood it, were early pointers.
• More and more spiritual teachers have arisen with a deep understanding of it.
• But what’s not been fully realized is just how well we all understand it (give examples: Objectified
documentary, TV, tons)
• Yet we have not understood its cause.
• This is the final step in fully understanding it in a deep way; in finally disidentifying from it, literally.
• When we discover cause, we have proven, can see, Know that we are not it.
• And thus the evolution of consciousness is finally freed from survival to living, to being; to Heaven.
Now. Always.

Entry 74 
It’s extremely helpful to think back on childhood dreams. These are the most sincere, genuine, heartfelt
dreams.

• Think of how children are.

• Think back to when you were like that.
• Think about how it felt.
• In our lives, these were often shut down, ignored, or simply overlooked due to needing to do this or
that.
• Why couldn’t you pursue your childhood dreams?
• Inevitably, it is due to someone or something convincing you that you couldn’t. Simple.
• And why did they? Why did whoever or whatever convince you of this?
• Because the same thing – worse even – happened to them.
• This is especially true of all parents. ALL of them.
• If they did something to hurt you in any way, it was because someone or something convinced them
of this same thing.
• You can trace this back in all directions as far as you want!

Entry 75 






























































104

Link
to
story:
http://www.newsweek.com/2010/03/17/a‐beautiful‐life.html

Sidenote:105

• This probably started when consciousness had evolved to the point of self-sustainability.
• At this point, consciousness’ trajectory, if you will, or evolutionary path/direction changed from
individual to collective.
• Alongside this is thus evolution in technology and human ingenuity, in creation and in expansion.
• The is evolution as a whole, as the Earth.

Entry 76 
Imagine a mother’s love or a father’s sacrifice. See the power of love. See people dying for each other,
working to support each other, see the true reasons people do what they do every day. See the reasons you do
what you do every day.

• This is simple: what you think brings you joy Now.

• Mothers discipline their children because they think it will help them which would give her joy.
• You study for a test so that you will get good grades so that you will get into a good school so that
you will get a good job, have a good life and so on…so that you will be happy.

Even when terrorists blow up buildings or when Christians yell at “fags”, they think this same thing…

• It seems “hate” is an exception maybe?

• This is very toxic and takes over its host at which point you are still asking the same thing, just from
the point of view of the ego.
• Thus we always ask what brings us joy Now.
• We always say this: I Want Joy Now.106

Each word – “I” “Want” “Joy” “Now” – can be broken down in many steps to show their deeper meanings.

• “I”: Shelby, Emily, Mom, Nico, Me, etc.

• “Want”: This exact process!
• “Joy”: We must first understand the extent of joy that we are capable of experiencing; the same
process as “I” and “Want.”
• “Now”: The same.
• Cool!107

Entry 77 
Scotty G telling me to just find a way for people like him to help out. All that I’ve seen in Colombia! (wow!)108

• Think of firemen, police officers, those in the Army/Military, lawyers and so on.





























































105

Referencing
the
previous
entries
about
evolution
of
consciousness.

106

Later:
Tolle:
“If
evil
has
an
existence,
and
it
does
have
a
relative
one,
it
is
complete
identification
with
ego.”
–

Ha!
Exactly!

107

Obviously
I’m
not
very
clear
here,
although
I
definitely
know
what
I
was
getting
at.
I
can
edit/improve
this
entry

or
just
talk
about
it


108

The
generosity
poured
into
my
life
through
free
food,
free
places
to
say,
meeting
all
sorts
of
volunteers,
and
so

on
and
so
on.
The
people
in
Colombia
are
simply
amazingly
beautiful.

 • Think of WHY these people go into these fields.
• Think of why they do it, not what it becomes.
• Think of doctors, teachers, all your friends, all your family…
• Think why you do what you do!
• It is always to find joy the best you understand how.

Entry 78 
Just as we found with our concept of “self” interest/incentive, we see that our evolutionary drive to “survive”
has remained intact, but has expanded109 (I picture the 4D cube image here, as in time expands into another
dimension, a new “branch,” if you will). (Show image here of branching timeline).

• It’s as if when we can understand our inevitable future, we “wake up” and create a new one.

We all have the same “drive” forward but that drive has now expanded to encompass more joy (and in this
case exponentially more!).xxxi

Entry 79 
Crystal Castles - Reckless110

• Love.
• Do you feel it?
• Lead up to that with the current state of the world.
• Then after with all that is possible.111

Crystal Castles - Vanished112

• “Fixing” life, one step at a time.

• Seeing fire, tools, the wheel, etc. – evolving – expanding.
• Seeing thought – seeing what we can do with it (technology!)
• Just go into deeper and deeper perspectives with “I,” “Want,” “Joy,” “Now,” “Our World,”
whatever.

Knowledge and technology have advanced, but not in line with their evolutionary path of up, way, way up.
Human egos – evolved due to and conditioned by a real or perceived state of scarcity – are no longer
necessary, yet humans have become addicted in a literal sense. After millennia of evolution this way, it only
makes sense to treat thought, emotion and technology in the same way. How can it benefit me? How does it
help me survive?

• You can see that it is within this egoic framework that all our current systems developed.
• School is about more and more memorization, really!
• Law, Medicine, whatever – you have to know what you’re doing.






























































109

Later:
(or
that
our
understanding
of
it
has!)

110

Listen
here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i‐qoBtPEtsc


111

Venus
Project,
Ted.com
(later)

112

Listen
here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOkq‐rsWkRc


 • School is thus job training and even the pursuit of knowledge and intellectual exploration – these
genuine, selfless endeavors – have become “professions” that require X number of years of
memorization.

You see, “the goal” – our direction, our evolutionary impulse – has changed direction. We have
begun a new course. Anyone with inner stillness either senses it directly or at least recognizes it when they
see it.

• This is what has happened with me! I haven’t changed anyone’s course, but I have sat – often for
hours – giving them inner stillness – no resistance – no conflict. It’s only a matter of time before
anyone seeking will find (as Jesus put it!)
• We can’t open any door, but we can direct them to it by simply recognizing our own inner
evolutionary path and allowing it to unfold.
• In other words, some will be led to intervene, others to simply talk, others to give distance or
lovingly ignore/resist all bad energy.
• Only YOU know.

Entry 80 
If I can’t clear my own head, how will I be clear in front of the world? This isn’t to say that I have to think
about the world later and thus invite the future; it’s to say that there is only your mind to clear. If your mind is
clear, you are clear of the world. There is, after all, only You.

Entry 81 
We’ve realized two very important things about thinking: 1) When we think negative, unhealthy thoughts, we
become negative and unhealthy, and 2) That by knowing this and stilling our minds, we can find “peace
beyond understanding.”

• We know these two things, but we have not, until now, Known the true power of thought.
• I don’t mean to think positively or focus on what you want – even on what we want – I’m saying that
you Know the illusion of “wanting” or of ever viewing anything as “positive,” so why are you still
applying these labels to your thoughts of the future?

Entry 82 
To me:

• Remember, if you’re teaching to not take things seriously, not to take teaching it so seriously either!

• Usually,
you
will
have
“personalized”
something
and
have
part
of
“you”
in
the
thought.
• Listen very closely for even the words “me,” “my,” or “I” in your inner thoughts.

Remember your insights/teachings/whatever/lol.

• I Want Joy Now. Always.

• This is through your “self” becoming transparent, light, only part of an infinitly bigger whole.
• Joy is in connection, oneness, Knowledge of what is.
 • So Know what Is, Now, in this moment. Always.

Any talk of “the way things are going to be” or “will be” – words or thoughts like these indicate you are
trapped within a conceptual reality instead of the living one before you now, always.

• If you are, at any time, overwhelmed with stress to where you become irritated (so not just feel but
are unconscious enough to become), then you are not Now.
• The Now is never irritating, only your idea of it is.

These are much more powerful “fountains” of energy that I’m experiencing and exploring. At times you will
become unconscious.

• When you “wake up,” catch the black hole of treating this as problematic in any way.
• You are now awake.
• You now know your “mistake,” so do the best you can Now. Always.113
• Know you are fully awake by observing all emotional, intellectual, physical and energetic input.
• If this seems “difficult,” it is only because you have been conditioned otherwise.
• This is your natural, unconditioned state.

Entry 83 
All you’ve been is “blind” to your emotions.

• In other words, imagine a blind man that keeps running into objects and thus suffering.
• To stop this suffering, he spends time memorizing where these objects are and thus how to avoid
them.
• People even help him do this and support him during the process.
• But…this man is not actually blind; he only thinks he is.
• Would you still help this man? Show him around?

It is the same with emotions. Until now, you’ve been “bumping into” emotions, or they’ve arisen within you
and you’ve not known what to do. Not knowing has caused fear (which you also identify with!) and thus the
current cycle of humanity.

• But if you can see the emotions, observe them, learn from them, take joy in the fact that you feel
them…
• In this case, Life is a very different experience – completely different in fact.
• Not in what your life becomes, but in how you experience it; how you live it.

Entry 84 
Any talk of “the masses” or of how you relate with other people – thinking about “how I relate with others”
– about “how they affect me” – “how I can’t seem to connect” – anything like this requires separation,
requires you and x.

• You Know Oneness.






























































113

Later:
(Awakening
is
true
action.
The
trap
door
is
to
re‐act
to
this
action.)

 • See You.

As for the pull to or push away from people and/or the ego, well, it’s just You, so when you wake up, you
have to watch for the trap door of treating it as personal or serious.

• When you see You in the other, what is there to take seriously, to re-act to at all? 
• If we are One, who is there to judge?

Entry 85 
We see now that suffering has innate purpose. It is not bad, to be overcome, abolished, or anything like that.
Its function is simply to point to change. How it does that is one of the most beautiful displays in the
Universe as we know it. No spiral galaxy or horsehead nebula even compares to the subtle profundity of
suffering pointing to peace. It is separation pointing to unity; it is resistance pointing to acceptance; conflict
to peace. It is also the flower seeking light and the Universe manifesting beauty. And when simply Known, it
is fuel for the power of consciousness! It is the spark of genuine beauty and creativity brought into this world
through Awakening from the dream of conflict.

Entry 86 
George Carlin – Saving the Planet114

• The idea of some grand purpose, some predetermined meaning/significance/responsibility, etc.; we

think that simply finding joy, being at peace in the now, that somehow this goes against that.
• But the belief in this in the first place is all – incredibly, subtly, unbelievably – bolstering of “SELF!”

Entry 87 
Website Ideas

You. Now. Videos115

Every time I “wake up” and realize I’m caught up in an idea about FromYouToYou.com, or Kickstarter, or
about how to raise money, do great ads, ways to invest – Change the World – etc!, I’d feel “bad” for giving
energy to it. Return to Now. Be at Peace.

• It’s FUN!xxxii

Zeitgeist section on site

• Explaining the “you don’t have to win, you make them lose” in Thank You For Smoking116

Open Source. Free Truth.

• Give away knowledge for free!






























































114

Watch
it
here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eScDfYzMEEw

115

The
basic
idea
was
short
webcam
videos
you
record
of
yourself
saying
whatever
you
want
you
to
hear.
Any
of

these
authentic,
beautiful,
funny
or
whatever
would
“emerge”
through
popularity.

116

In
other
words,
explaining
how
the
energy
and
intent/goal
were
misunderstood.

 Entry 88 
George Carlin’s “Guys and Dolls Part 1” from When is Jesus going to bring the porkchops?

Lists of makeup, etc.

• Everyone knows A LOT about something; it’s just whether or not society deems what you know as
important or not.
• These are great examples!
• Shelby and music; Kyle and video games; dude in Tipping Point that forsaw the financial meltdown
(all Mavens in general!).
• You know about these things because you think you find joy in them.
• Look deep and you’ll see a very natural, wonderful “desire” to do these things.
• And if you could know more about why and how you enjoyed these things, you’d naturally “want” to
learn them so that you could enjoy these things even more.
• This is not some things you need to be convinced of, simply something you know yet or you don’t.
• Either way, that’s all this site is about: learning about yourself and the world more fully.
• You’ll see a refreshing openness and complete honesty in the way we talk about things.
• You’ll see that “learning” and sharing in this way is simply more enjoyable.
• It’s easier and more effective at the same time…blah, blah, blah, hahahaha…

I could end entries like www.Fool.com does just bring it back to the overall insights/goal (for them it’s
membership, for us it’s more joy/stillness/freedom from conditioning, whatever ).

Entry 89 
I just had the most incredible experience of my life. White light; deep rising through my lungs?
Under/through my heart? My back kept arching up. I was breathing profoundly, deeply – laughing and crying
at the same time. Intense Joy and intense Suffering, simultaneously.

I WANT JOY NOW.

How can you find the most intense, encompassing joy you can? I bounce between extreme thought and
extreme emotion; between playing with form and receiving deep insight; then between sharing it, explaining
it, becoming it. I even still become unconscious – in fact, quite frequently, just not for long at all anymore
(the first 18 years of my life was seeing 1 second glimpses all the way until now). Every time I’ve clinged to
one and resisted because I thought I “should” do something better or whatever, I’ve lost the flow, per se.
This simply depends on the clinging – to what, who, the intensity with which I cling/resist .This is never
“bad” but I lost joy I could have had. I “think” that won’t be better or I fear loss, etc. and thus I resist a
simple, natural arisen “desire” to do something else, explore elsewhere, etc. Why fear this simplicity? It’s so
obvious: do what you Want.

• It’s the word! “Want” = crave, greed, etc.

• We use it for the beautiful, natural “desire” to help, love, create, explore, teach, learn, etc.

All you want is to do what you want and help others do the same.

• Fuckin A.
 • This includes poetry, art, music, movies, architecture, design, fashion, science, writing, reading,
traveling, and so on forever.

This is perfectly simple except for when “fear” arises. When it arises – often conceptually justified – we
contract – I think it needs to stop – that its unhealthy – toxic – I don’t like it! AT ALL! FUCK!....

• This is how my EXPERIENCE just started – going very profoundly into deep suffering – DEEP.
• I almost panicked – in fact, I did panic, but I was able to observe that – “I” began seeing my whole
panicked body – breathing (gasping, really), crying streaming down the sides of my cheek into my
ear, the feeling of the sheets on my toes…
• And through this I feel incredible joy – excitement, fulfillment – I’m overflowing – I remember
yelling in my mind for everyone to take it – please! – it’s so wonderful – take it all! Empty me!
• It was mildly orgasmic, but not at all sexual.
• I felt myself being “emptied” but never felt I was becoming more empty – it was a constant
stream/fountain coming through/out of me.
• I felt tingling everywhere – it felt healing.
• I felt every hair in my head (and before I was very unconscious, even numb to much of my body)117
• It was all over from my hairs to my toes, literally.

Entry 90 
There are voices.

Me: Tell me what I should/need to know.

The Voice: There is nothing to seek.
Me: Who’s saying this?
The Voice: Who’s asking?
Me: I am.
The Voice: I am.

Entry 91 
You don’t understand: There’s no rush, and there never was.

• You don’t have to find joy anywhere.

• Look where it already is!
• It’s within you manifesting itself in some “thing.”
• What is it for you? (list of art, music, etc.)
• For many it’s just reading, writing, traveling, whatever.
• There is no such thing as insignificant joy. No such thing, I promise you.
• All qualitative judgment of things is ego.
• And that includes your “self,” another “thing,” remember.
• All “concepts,” all ideas of/about this or that. All stuff.
• You. I experience all this stuff; all this thought, emotion, sensation, touch, sound…
• We experience infinity!





























































117

(although
I’ve
been
“feeling”
gravity
lately
–
I
had
never
noticed
that
before
–
the
feeling
of
gravity,
hmm
)

 Entry 92 
I need to divide my joy moving forward (the ones that confuse people, lol) and those bringing people Here,
Now. That’s been a big part of the problem is that as I “teach,” I “learn”; or as I get into the flow and
become a portal through which someone/something invites “teaching,” I also – as myself – learn/receive
personal insights. I think the person that was there might “get it” but no one else will, ha. So just distinguish
between the two! 1) The things I’ve received and find joy in explaining further and 2) The things that will
enable everyone to do the same with their own joy; The process.

• We’ve simply always viewed this as an individual experience.

• What should “I” do?
• What’s “my” purpose?
• Very valid.
• Now, however, You have the Answer.

How can “I” bounce around? What “I?

• I’m in a bad mood today. I’m not in the flow today, or whatever else.
• “I” am everywhere!
• Are the clouds in a bad mood today? Is the breeze?118
• Expand your “I” and I’m not any thing. I’m every thing.

Entry 93 
Why do I want to do acid? There’s really no “reason.” I just really want to! It’s so exciting, so new, so
different; who knows what could happen! Ha, I’m so curious! And look when I was a kid: “What’s that
Mommy? Why this and why that Mommy?” Kyle was the opposite, so he doesn’t want to do things like this;
but we love talking to each other about it. He loves to peacefully experience my enthusiasm and I
enthusiastically experience his peace.

How can this form of joy, in whatever form, be wrong? This is what has caused all the confusion is that many
of us do find joy in these things and others do not. Thus “risk,” “danger,” etc. are not universal. We cannot
make universal judgments about highly personal things.xxxiii

Entry 94 
This Joy kick seems an awfully like the childish fascination theme, doesn’t it? Lol. Seriously though, I feel like
a prototype – that even everything I’ve written and “received” so far is an extreme perspective – such an
incredibly wonderful one!; but one nonetheless 

• (I wonder if Tolle is the expansion even “beyond” this? I’d like to meet him – see HIM – not just
what his editors allowed published.
• What would be “beyond” this?

This is because now (the state of the world energetically) – this is what’s arising – very strongly btdubs, lol.





























































118

“See”
all
that
is
around
you
and
within
you.
Know
it
is
all
there.
If
your
particular
form
is
X,
just
look
deeply
at

yourself
elsewhere


 • This seems a natural balancing of extreme unconsciousness.
• Joy is simply the most effective “transmuter” of such extreme suffering; it’s simply a brighter light;
less a reflection, more pure.
• I still always “return” from that to stillness, Now.
• Then I play, receive insight, dance, listen…I find joy in whatever arises 

Entry 95 
Just started typing! 6/25/2010 lol119

Already my mind races with other ways of doing this. Should I be worrying about this? The thoughts don’t
really survive much anymore, but the emotion does. And this is just enough to kick me “out of the flow,” per
se. But then, I expand 

• Usually, I get up, stretch, shake out all the tension (smoke a j, lol) and ask the question 
• I WANT JOY NOW.

I then stop writing and go back to typing, ha! 

Entry 96 
Looking at a map saying, “So this is what all the fuss is about. This is what we have. Ha.”

Entry 97 
Sam: “Why bring sand to the beach?”

• Words of wisdom!
• Only he said it because he didn’t want to bring a girl to the club when there were already going to be
so many hot, single women, lol.
• For me, it’s any more time spent thinking about this.
• Nothing needs to be thought of for this to happen.
• We must only open our eyes.
• Then, the real fun (thinking for me – who knows for you!) begins. 

Entry 98 
Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater or the weed out with the joint.

• I’m full of it today, lol 

Entry 99 
“So in future lifetimes it’s a certainty, we will again fit together perfectly. You’re the sun to me!”120






























































119

I
finally
decided
to
type
all
that
I
had
written
but
was
still
writing
while
typing,
lol.

120

Faithless
–
Sun
to
Me;
listen
here:

link

 • You ALL are the sun to me!
• All that is is the sun!
• What could be more nourishing than this simple realization?
• That this is ALL From You, To You!

Entry 100 
FoolWatch Weekly:

“Profit from the BP Debacle: Think long term…”

• Every word in this can be broken down to use the exact same “logic” they are using.
• It’s just expansion!

Entry 101 
Great! I have no clue where this will lead, of course I don’t, that’s the only reason we enjoy it! I just know it’s
what I want to do (“want” here deserves much attention). My “want,” in this case, is based on the joy it gives
“me” now vs. the joy “I” know this can manifest – in myself, the world, you. “I,” – me – ENJOY this too!
Even more than the taste of a delicious cheeseburger and ice-cold Coca-Cola (Ahhh, refreshing! ). But
seriously, do you see the distinction here? I want this – I want that – what the fuck does this even mean? I am
literally overwhelmed with an incredible anticipation of all that this could lead to. Even now, writing about
how I feel and seeing it on the paper. I don’t even have words. It’s so exciting! Adrenaline buffs, beware! Do
not enter! Lol. Serious though, what does our concept of “wanting” have anything to do at all with this deep,
profound longing – so powerful, yet so natural? It’s peacefully powerful and powerfully peaceful!

• THIS drive is completely contagious. It works like fire, like a virus, the ultimate weapon of mass
creation.
• Unending Joy. Infinitesimally multiplied. Now. Always.121

Entry 102 
This is crazy; now the last thing I wasn’t to do is type, lol. I want more direct insight! Lol.

• This “gap” keeps getting smaller and smaller.

• I imagine the only inevitable result is infinite joy.
• Can this moment, always, be this? Only this?

The concepts of whatever “this” might be jump into my mind immediately, too 


Heaven, Nirvana, Eternal light…actually, I don’t even know how exactly this has been described by all
religions, but I know whatever “it” is – this is the same “it.”

Actually, now knowing the process of ego arising and “self-sabotaging” my sharing this – it seems this same
process will apply to our concept of utopia, heaven, whatever.






























































121

Not
sure
why,
but
Crystal
Castle’s
“Crimewave”
rode
me
through
this
whole
thing
(entry)
.

 • Recognizing al this as thought about “it” – whatever it is, ha – is good enough.
• Now you know you’re thinking about it.
• Do you want to continue thinking about it?
• Can you see, then, that thinking about it is “it” – at least for you, of course..

I just got back from an orgasmic journey just like last time. I couldn’t keep writing because the thought was
so wonderful. I had to experience it myself first before stopping to share. Sorry to be so selfish, HAHA!

Wow, seriously though, I followed this to: well, we each have our own “it,” so how can we all each have our
own it and have a collective it? I don’t know what yours all is, but my personal, completely selfish – all I could
ever dream of or hope for or imagine is possible – conceptual or actual – is nothing more than to be present
for all of you realizing this with me. I and you – We – All – One – Both and All at the same time.

I literally cannot contain the excitement on any level – spiritual, technological, scientific, within, without, with
only you, with everyone – any possible thing you can imagine! Now. Always. Fuckin A.

Entry 103 
I cry – and this is the first time I’ve realized this – because I feel guilty, literally, for having this much joy. It
must be shared, must be realized by every single electron on this planet, beaming forth its light to this
universe and any other. Even thinking about it now, I cry even more due to the need to share this.

And then I “wake up.” I’m perfectly calm. Here. Now. I can go into this conceptual bliss anytime I wish. Or I
can come back and make it manifest in my action or in whatever way I wish.

I imagine – or ask myself, who knows, lol…

Sam walked in just then to find me, well, as I am, haha.

• Listen, I don’t know how many will “understand” this. I have no clue what this will make manifest,
lol. Truthfully, it’s really funny, but even now, I feel the ego arising – “look how conceited this guy is!
He’s figured ‘it’ out has he??” – hahaha, this whole energy arises (not as thought, though, which is
quite nice )
• But yep, that’s what I’m saying. I’ve figured “it out…
• “It” doesn’t exist! It never did!
• You have Now, only Now, Always.

Entry 104 
Truthfully – and yet again we have another added reason why all of this kicks ass – “I” am in no rush. “I” can
go in and out of this as much as “I” want.

• I, however, see things like this internet kill-switch bill and know we’re at a dangerous time, lol.

Entry 105 
You know, they always said God had a good sense of humor. Well, guess what, I do! 

• That’s probably the last journal entry. Oh fuck! What did I do?!? I have 2 more pages left! LOL!
 • This thought actually came to me. Man, I amuse myself.

Thank you George Carlin for being my tipping point! 

Entry 106 
You know, actually, I take it all back. Ok, well, not all of t, only the last 30 pages or so. HAH! Ok, only that
“it” doesn’t have a name, because guess what? It does:

LIFE.

And ya wanna know the best part of what life is?? It’s what you make of it. 

Last Entry 
Corrections:

• The use of the word “God” was, admittedly, overused.

• The editors will be replacing all use of the word “God” with “Joe Pesci.”
• This is in remembrance of George Carlin, or fuck that, what’s there to remember? Here’s to you
George! 
• There are no more corrections.
• The rest is Perfect, capital P.

Corrected Corrections:

• Sorry, in the corrections section the editors overused the letter P and know that as well.
• They offer their utmost apology.
• Ya know, what’s the fucking problem! Why am I writing this and not the editors themselves?!?
• Remove the middle man! 

Ok, that’s a bad ending so go with the quote before 

End of Journal 3

JOURNAL 4

Entry 1 
Getting it but not getting it.xxxiv

Entry 2 
My “confronting” Marce like Habba does:

• Before I would have not allowed myself to do this because it was “aggressive,” “non-peaceful”, etc.
• How the fuck can we know what’s best??? It’s an endless dance!
• I know because of my fucking blisters, lol.
• It arose. I allowed it to, nothing more.
• Talk to Cesar!!

Entry 3 
Cancer operates exactly like the ego does, wanting more and more until it kills its host.

• We notice tension in our muscles and know by seeing it that we’ve probably been unconscious.
• Tension only arises when I’m unconscious, so I know what to do.
• Is cancer this same thing?
• It points in the exact same way.
• The outer reflecting the inner reflecting the outer.
• Fuckin A.
Entry 4 
My “experiences” of deep, profound joy have been extreme glimpses pointing beyond themselves to what is
possible.

• No one could hold that, they’d literally die.

• It was too much!
• I wanted to share it, had to.
• How amazing. 

I’m now coming to find balance.

• I’ve known I had “lost” it, and then felt the insecurity and fear associated with this.
• Resist this and you’re stuck.
• Let this be, too, and you go even beyond it to find balance.

(Show Diagram)

It is like a pendulum, only I can choose to go in and out. I’m not confined to gravity. 

Hmmm…I want to fly! lol. Seriously, though, wouldn’t this be obvious, too? I mean, it’s all illusory! We know
this, just don’t Know it yet.
Entry 5 
This message is too big and too wonderful to teach it on my own, plus I couldn’t even if I tried, ha.

• This is everyone’s to share.


Entry 6 
You get to receive grace, but I get to give it.

• Not sure what this means yet, but it was wonderful. Not that it says much anymore, lol, but it moved
me to tears.

Man I (and we!) keep listening to the same music. Well, because we still like it! Why? For me, it’s because I
continue to learn more from it.122

• Crystal Castles!
• Faithless!

 I heard: “Why do you think you like it? Where does “enjoyment” come from?123

I’m not sure the significance of this yet

But how AMAZING that I can notice that! What else do I

Know now but don’t know? HA!!

Entry 7 
Mavens? Ha! Try arteries! Connecters? Try nerve fibers! Tolle?! Try health! 

Entry 8 
Time’s going to end on Dec. 21, 2012?? But so soon? LOL!

Entry 9 

Is it a choice? Would I be excited if it were? Am I?

What would I want? What do I want?

Which I?
Entry 10 
I’m the perfect prototype; enough presence and drive to awaken plus enough ego to always keep coming
back. My ego never became strong enough to necessitate collapse (like Tolle or suicide –> but it could have
driven me to any number of future: crime, manipulation, politics!...whatever, though, would have led to
unhappiness.)
By allowing awareness to arise within me, I see incredibly powerful glimpses into what is possible. The nature
of these is beyond words but in themselves necessitate sharing.
(A Course in Miracles is what –I think— will help me understand this)






























































122

Later:
What
Life
is!
We
stay
as
long
as
we
need
to
learn
(About
God/ourselves).

123

Later:
it’s
consciousness
being
conscious
of
itself.


 > I just read this last night out of nowhere. I had had a very dry, tired, uninspiring day and felt the
emotional insecurity arise (that even manifested as unconscious thought - about the future, what I’m
going to do with all this, other BS, lol) but was able to observe it all day and return to a state of
acceptance of Now and allowance/inviting of Love. Of course, I didn’t know I had allowed this –
truthfully, I just felt a little unease and wanted to go to bed, lol – until I picked up A Course in
Miracles and started reading it before lying down.
I’m still processing everything (sickness is only the confusion) misidentification between the bodily
and spiritual realm -> you can raise the dead -> Healing power -> giving and receiving -> Love ->
this came out of nowhere (there weren’t even spiritual at all!) and seem extremely similar to mine ->
even talks A lot about scarcity and abundance! I mean, really? Lol I was surprised by how obvious
all this was last night for about 1.5 second before immediately waking up to say “Well, of course”.
At this point -scientifically, logically, objectively and even more powerfully subjectively!- these things
are clearly not “coincidences”. What they are is definitely up for debate, however there are clear
pointers literally everywhere I look (and even in the places I don’t!). All I have to do is stay in the
flow.

N.E:

-> A good idea to just publish ALL of this and invite the world to figure it out with me? Or is this a little “I”
thought? what world? what “I”? Should you be asking these questions? LOL .

N.E:

Things are coming together very fast (at times) a little too fast/quick for comfort, lol.
Comment: (Lol! This has been in the last 18 hrs. I’ve lost all sense of time, wow -> what does this mean?)
All of this hasn’t been ways to convince or show this to the world, it’s been me convincing myself, showing it
to myself.
Look at the passages even in my 1st journal! I had no idea. How could I be convincing the world of
something I didn’t even know?
-> Because You Know It.

I do think I will release this/ announce (hmm...is thinking like this positive?)

I cannot – as of now – even approach this within myself without hyperventilating/shaking/crying-

laughing/dancing, lol.
I will need reliability and stability, lol!!! How ironic!! HA.

I cry uncontrollably every time I even think deeply about it because I feel unworthy, ashamed, that it’s too
much, please just someone else do it. You! Tolle! Anyone but me, I won’t be able to, I’ll become afraid. I
won’t say it beautifully enough…Don’t you see? This is what’s so beautiful about it! That you don’t
“deserve” it and you know that! On all levels you know it. That’s why it’s so beautiful. That’s why it’s a
miracle.

Suffering is the fuel for consciousness in that, temporarily, it makes it burn even brighter. There is no
inequality in this as ALL find it beautiful. All bask in its glory, mutually grateful and in awe.
Those who have “done” bad things “deserve” punishment, whatever…have already received it in the prison
of their own minds which created it. They will face this knowledge and feel even worse about themselves for
that. And then, they’ll HAVE TO RECEIVE FORGIVENESS, from you, from themselves and from God.
Before all creation, we must all know and accept genuine forgiveness for all that we’ve done. We must
forgive and be forgiven. Together. One. We are forgiven. I am forgiven.

We know that you know you don’t deserve it, and we find that most beautiful of all. SEE that now – get out
of YOUR shame or your unworthiness and see – KNOW – our genuine joy and gratitude in receiving the
ability to grant this. Know that we had to receive it in order to even give it. It is not ours to give, but it is
ours to share and we do so Now Joyfully!

N.E:

I want to release this Now! Type it up, put it on the website – I even see the passage in the 1st journal I can
end it with perfectly, lol. My mind races with what to do, what’s best, could I wait, keep talking, call
Tolle?...On and on and on it goes, where it stops, nobody knows, lol. I then wake up to know this is much
bigger than me. It has been revealed to me in perfect precision – subtly, profoundly, simply beautifully
revealed to me on ALL areas of my soul. So stay in the flow. Consider the lilies, do they stress about what to
do, when to bloom, how high to grow, whether they’ll survive, do they question the worthiness of their
beauty? Do they not find joy in receiving beauty and blooming it? Can you not see that that’s why they
bloom at all? Blooming is the emergence of beauty simultaneously to its host and to the world. All else is
preparation, fuel for the fire, do you feel it?

I have not fully received forgiveness myself and therefore it is not mine yet fully to give.
(Sounds egoic, but came –or at least felt- naturally and from the same source. Hm, oh well.)

N.E:

Atonement – end of time – Course in Miracles -> I only glanced at this and need to read thoroughly. Now, I
have the consciousness being conscious of itself and God Forgiving All. How do these combine/unite? Are
they one in the same? Is this a choice of mine or something already chosen being revealed to me? Can it be
both? Is it?

-Forrest Gump quote

(About Course in Miracles) -> How am I talking about this objectively? HA! Am I crazy or just so much in
the flow that on some level I just know it’s truly, really, not mine to do!
What to do? It’s an irrelevant question.

I’m so confused and at peace simultaneously, lol.

N.E:
 Life is the unity of these. You learning of yourself; God is. I Am I Am. Stay and learn as long as you
wish/WANT.

N.E:

I just took an amazing journey on Crystal Castles’ Baptism and Year of Silence. This was a balance btwn
projection and Insight/Receiving. I see huge, massive celebrations with these bands, myself and masses upon
masses of happy, joyful ppl. I see it as I coming together simply to celebrate. Accept forgiveness and/ receive
it, all together. Music like this speaks to me like that. Is it sad? Is it happy? Does it make you feel suffering?
Feel excited? Want to listen? Want to dance?
 Don’t you see it’s all that at once! Insignificant, independent rhythms and sounds –themselves hardly
impressive - come together to blend perfectly. Were they ever separated at all?

N.E:
GO TO THE BEACH.
ENJOY YOURSELF.
Read A Course In Miracles.

Do what you will.

LOL

OK…

N.E:

Oh God, I’m Joseph. You’re the virgin Marce. And I’m In Hell.

Wait, you’re not pregnant, are you?!?

JESUS CHRIST!

N.E:

All previous : Look! (Finger pointing to the moon) We forgot!

-this is different than remembering (the moon) (ME)

N.E:

I healed her

N.E:

www.clipper.eu

N.E:
I imagine the eyes of all things, like mine, meeting his – LOVE. Enjoy yourself. And knowing that I don’t
have to miss you, that you wait for me within all things.

-Your one, for now (and the infinite here contained)

Marce

N.E:

I’ve been in Barranquilla for the last 5 days without Marce and have been more and more unconscious. Fear,
nervousness and insecurity all have arisen due to everyone’s reaction to “us” being together. It’s amazing the
extent of the social pressure and collective concepts associated with “romance” and even just dating in
general. Also, I’ve seen the incredibly strong (and yet conceptually justified) concept that ppl have of Marce.
My mom, facebook, all her friends, all my friends, being introduced as “Marcy’s boyfriend”, lol, it’s all too
much man, lol. Add to this my lack of sleep, being sick, missing Marce and the extreme concentrated
consciousness I’ve held with Marce over the last 2 weeks and, well, the tide comes in and the tide goes out -
and it’s been out, lol.
I’m waking up now, though, to see the social anxiety and past unobserved pain and emotional/intellectual
cycles/concepts associated with this whole ordeal! Amy, Annie, Ali, Valerie, Katie, Diana, Rochi, good lord,
man, lol. I never realized what a concept this had come for me! I had truly bottled up this portion of me and
compartmentalized it unconsciously. It’s so wonderful to re-examine, learn, discover, GROW, all over again.
And being able to SHARE this with Marce is overwhelmingly joyful for me. Yet the extent of joy causes
much insecurity to arise as well thereby weakening my consciousness more and making me more susceptible
to this whole process. I understand all of this but “waking up” is still required.
> All of this causes me to retract within myself and take all this both personally and problematically.
This is the trap door. Observe all this and it points beyond itself to many lessons and peace.
> Consider just how vulnerable I had become to myself and to the “world”; and simply incredible
how powerful all this is for me. I had no idea it was this important for me (not necessarily to life, to
humanity, etc –although it could be, I don’t know yet-but to ME, to My happiness). I get so excited,
am so filled with childlike joy. I really love love! I want to make someone happy, I want to sacrifice
knowing that for this person there is no such thing as sacrifice. I want to Know I Cor.13, I want to
share my life with another.
> I had NO IDEA I wanted this! Amazing!

And what’s even crazier is ALL of this is – or at least had become for me – a Huge Concept. Because of
being hurt, afraid, insecure, etc, I had bottled all this away which allowed it – even forced it – to become a
huge unobserved source of anxiety/fear.
> When I think about Marce, she gets associated with ALL of this. Yikes, lol. No wonder we argue
with so much intensity in couples! There’s so much of our conceptual selves at stake! So much of
our concept of our own happiness and now just now, but forever! Till death do us part, lol. Crazy!

You must never feel threatened in any way by another human being – or anything for that matter! –What
could possibly be threatened?
Nothing real can be threatened.
 Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the Peace of God.

If you feel threatened, who/what are you indentified with to feel such a way? “Who” is being threatened?

Be the conscious observer of these feelings. What do they feel like? Why are they there? What do they point
to?

Also, I think all of this arose – and only could have arisen – because I was not with Marce when I’m with
her, not her concept but HER, none of this survives, especially now that there’s more consciousness in her,
she’s the light that transmutes all conceptual darkness of the conceptual her.

In her eyes, I see no future only because the Now is too good. The future is irrelevant in the face of so much
peace and joy now.

I just need to read my own journals to remind myself of what I already know, lol .

Thinking back, I was still fine on July 20th with Nico’s family, but I was a little weakened – enough that his
aunt ended up really pulling me in, to her unconsciousness. Obviously none of these things cause
unconsciousness, but they do enable it. It is good to know this.
->Siddhartha quote

To understand happiness, I must first be happy. To understand peace, I must first be peace.
->This shows me I had neither and thought I had both.

Simply Be Now…and observe all experiences within and without.

I don’t want you to be mine.

I want you to be free.


To want this for another and have them want it for you is true romance.

There can be no (true) Love without (true) Freedom.

->You cannot love unless you are free to.

Just as everything else, love arises, you need only be free to know when it does.

She holds the key to the end of suffering. Suffering is beautiful, but it is time to let go of this beauty and
create new beauty. Many have understood suffering very deeply (Nietzsche!) yet we have become addicted
to this one manifestation. Life is beautiful, not just suffering. It is time for us to be Free. Those who want to
continue suffering will be free to, but now, we must free ourselves. We have known suffering very deeply, we
have isolated it, understood it, lived it, loved it, but we have not seen its purpose/its function.
->Fuel for the fire of consciousness.

Suffering is not meant to be (or can be) overcome, it is meant to be (and must be) listened to.

(7-27-10->7-28-10)

Random High Thoughts 

It’s not uncertainty, not suffering, not any concepts…that cause me to become unconscious, to stress,
become anxious or whatever…it’s my not knowing what I want (I bounce between Venus Project, Journals,
Tolle, Marce, Traveling (in other words between competing genuine desires within myself). I genuinely want
all these things (and this is because I understand much and can therefore know how to find more joy – for
those who understand little, they will have little difficulty in finding joy). Understanding is (then) reached
through finding joy. In other words, it is in experiencing joy, becoming intimate with it, even enjoying that
joy, for example being the observer of it, etc…that we then understand how to experience more of it! Please
know this, it is very important!
-> (Felt like I “received” this) -> I did.
->Not knowing what you want – or believing you are not free to discover or do this is ultimately the cause of
all suffering.

Ok, I realize this (lo que sea)…

Don’t realize it, Know it. Be it. (No need to write anything down, lol, only do that if you genuinely Want
to.)

Continuing (the entry before the last)

Therefore do not seek understanding, seek Joy. Better, realize there is nothing to seek at all, Experiencing Joy
is your natural state. It is the collective evolution of consciousness that has experienced much Joy and
therefore can understand how to experience more of it. That knowledge is experienced physically through
the physical manifestation of the human brain, infinitesimal in its capacities and potentiality – so much so
that we have not yet come close to realizing it or understanding it, even discovering it. This is equally and
similarly expressed in the “outer” physical manifestation of the Universe. You’ll see, therefore, that there is
no separation of any of this. All atoms contain this exact same manifestation. All that we see and know and
even that which we do not see and do not know all point beyond itself to this truth: Joy is Now.
->Joy is Now if you want it. The only “problem” is that you do not know this! You simply don’t know your
own innermost desire – natural, powerful, simple and profound – to find Joy Now. There is no “better” or
“worse” form of joy because all simply… (Had a journey here because I already understood the rest -> led to
wiki idea plus intense Joy Now for a good hour or so. I dance around naked, worked out, sang, it was
amazing).

(Wiki How to Find Joy – all this is on there. I can edit, Tolle can edit. All knowledge available to everyone,
everywhere. There is no incentive to lie, no incentive to mislead, no pride or selfishness in making edits – no
self – just collective knowledge, Free.)
I DO NOT WANT (YOU) TO SUFFER ANYMORE!
->Stated positively - I want to be Free (from suffering, etc)
->Laid down for thirty minutes or so just exploring consciousness. This I received after struggling to
understand how to do what “I” want (Marce, travel, etc. AND end suffering). There is no conflict here!

Drugs simply allow you to do what you want. You created them/manifested them for a reason. Now, there is
much energy being received that I do not want (speaking normally – much suffering and bad/toxic energy) so
drugs allow me to isolate this temporarily and go beyond it. The cost is that I’m stretching beyond where I am
Now naturally. Therefore, it is a glimpse into what I possible – it shows me what you (I) can manifest – it is
exploring consciousness – exploring yourself. Thus through this you (I) can experience joy and/or
understand more. However, because this is – speaking normally – “un” natural or beyond what is normal –
there is an equal and opposite “coming down” that expresses the polaric potentiality expressed in all form –
identify with the up or down and you (I) will experience suffering to point beyond your (my) identification.
You (I) tell your(my)self where to go, what to think, how to be happy and so on forever through the
experience of suffering. This is expressed (manifested) in All experiences of every manifestation of
consciousness.

You (I) can heal and raise the dead because you (I) created sickness and death. These both point beyond
themselves.

I find joy in creating, in discovering, in teaching, in traveling, in loving and soon…and therefore I will do All
these things. And I will stop when(if) I know(see) I can find more joy elsewhere.

7-28-10(next morning)

->I direct conscious attention (look from a particular perspective) until I find more Joy or “Suffer”. This is
the emergent nature of physical form. Non-physical form (ha, weird term but I get it) is “beyond” this nature
as it is beyond physical manifestation. Things like time, for example, can be altered or even ignored in other
dimensions of consciousness.

Thinking exists as an analysis of past and projection into future. Through these, physical manifestation is no
longer required when understanding can be reached through thought. All animals simply ARE their
consciousness, becoming all input constantly (think about a relaxed cat seeing a fly, watching it fly off, then
returning to deep sleep). Human form, however, through thought, and the human brain, are conscious of this
process. In other words, consciousness has become (more) conscious of itself (really, for the first time in our
physical dimension as we know it?).

->Thus my insights of writing a book, traveling making enough money to survive happily, the website, Marce,
The Chosen One and so on are all such projections (in my case, possibly even projections of the collective
consciousness through which I “receive” or “perceive” these thoughts).

->In this sense, time and even physical form/manifestation is no longer required for consciousness to
become conscious of itself. What I perceive as “projections into possible futures” in the 3rd dimension, are
also already manifest in higher dimensions, Time, or duration, is the 4th dimension that I am expanding into.
In this dimension – or higher ones (no need for differentiation here) – all possibilities exist simultaneously.
Humans have discovered this in Quantum Physics and the Double Slit Experiment (run with this).
Thus there is never any conflict. Thoughts and Emotion unite to make manifest Love in the form that will
bring You/(Myself)/I the most Joy Now Always.

->”Nothing is wasted. And Life is worth living. Heaven is nowhere. Just look for the Stars. There is a Day
that is Yours for Embracing. Everything’s nothing. And nothing is Ours.”


“Ours” is actually important here because as far as even “I” –Kevin- could possibly go or expand into is but
an infinitesimal fraction of what I –as One- can accomplish.

->Me and Fabian, Maria, Marce, Mom…one hundred, one thousand, one country, one continent, the World
– All creation, All Dimensions, I -> Incredible!

*Not knowing what to do with such realizations causes me much stress and tension. I have felt this
conceptual burden very deeply, but have always been able to go beyond these feelings, deeper within myself
to what they point to. I have only “been able” to do this (make this Knowledge manifest through Thought
and through physical manifestation of my individual perception of consciousness you and “I” know as Kevin
Hanson…) due to my becoming conscious of collective Knowledge-> Tillich, Tolle, Sam, Marce -> my entire
life as I know it is but the process of becoming conscious of these, Knowing these, Being these.

->not knowing all this would literally be conceptually unbearable and I imagine is what Nietzsche, and many
many philosophers, poets, artists, janitors and so on forever have experienced in varying intensities. We All
Know These things to be True. The only difference between any of us is the degree of consciousness we have
experienced in our “individual”(physical) manifestations and the degree to which we have similarly become
conscious of this process. All of this is only relatively true in our collective perception of our 3rd dimensional
manifestation of time as we know it. We may stay in this dimension as long as it’s all we know we want. But it
is, of course, irrelevant and unnecessary –just as it is equally relevant and necessary in so much as it must be
Known, only no longer requires physical manifestation.

I AM FREE I AM I AM

WE ARE NOW FREE

-To explore, to discover, to love, to unite, to create, to share, to do and make manifest whatever we want.

-this has always been True, but we are now being conscious of this Truth, being conscious of consciousness,
conscious of ourselves, of myself, of I.

For me, Kevin, I already know what I want and I wrote it at the end of my last journal…to share this with all
creation, observe your/our/My Knowing this. Love, infinitesimally magnified in every atom of our bodies,
our souls, our universe, dimension and so on forever. These, I now know I want and therefore it is what I
will make manifest.

*Now, Let’s Celebrate!!! (Danced joyfully to “Through the Hosiery” with all my soul! )

In every single town, big or small, if you know this to be true and want to be Free, want to be at Peace, want
to love, and want the same for all fellow human beings, all fellow creations- nothing profound, nothing to
teach, no leader, no follower, nothing to convince or be convinced of – simply a natural desire for Life,
Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, then join and celebrate this desire in whatever form you wish. This
requires no media coverage, no organization, no money, no thing…just your knowing in your own self that
you have this desire…and then your allowing that desire to be made manifest in your life-> in whatever form
you want! Write it, paint it, sing it, or simply know it and be at peace, beaming that energy to the rest of
creation.

Now, the fun part.......

-no concerts, no media coverage, no organizing, no teaching, no thing is(will be) required…BUT IT IS
WANTED!
-Therefore we will have it also, but only as reflections of the Joy we already have. We will not find joy in any
thing, but joy will be expressed in ALL THINGS.
->therefore know and make manifest Joy!

This is the flowering/blooming of human consciousness into physical form. This is Beauty, Love, I, being
made manifest.

My trances to music are like Mozart and the Voice of God. True Creativity being made manifest. Incredible!

Do not try to understand this, do not think about it, say whether you agree with it or disagree with it- Don’t
conceptualize, it at all. There is no it. There is Joy Now. Always.

So make Joy manifest in your conscious perception of this moment. Content is irrelevant. Simply Be Happy
Now. Then allow to arise what arises, observe all that does, and continue to process Now. Always.

Stop thinking about it and make it manifest. Or Don’t .

Imagine Crystal Castles to Blue Man Group to Cirque Du Soleil to Tolle, Me, etc – imagine what we can
create!
-Imagine it and make it so.

I will lead, only if you do not view me as a leader. I will teach, only if you do not view me as a teacher. We are
all together, there is no leader and no follower. I might speak and you might listen, but ultimately there is no
distinction between the two.
(All is received. All is From You To You.)

I can only do these things –only want to do these things- if you do them as well. It’s together or not at all.
This is what I want Now.

“I WANT(YOU) TO BE FREE.” T-shirts, LOL.

->Sell all kinds of amazing, fucking awesome stuff! Even call it this, lol. Money will only be collected as long
as we choose to give value to it, while it is, we will use what we have to.
->People can donate ideas, their time, abilities, etc. No need to “think” much about this – simply allow it to
emerge.

This all works this way because “desires”, as we know them, are simply our conscious experience/perception
of our evolutionary impulse/nature in form. Thus, obviously, it is in doing what you want that you evolve.
Simple.

…as I come down from journeys in consciousness such as this (previous 20 pgs or so, lol). I return to “my”
(Kevin), the “world” (friends, silly thoughts, silly emotions, theme parks, politics, lol) etc and feel the pull of
indentifying with the “up” I just experienced and thus being unconsciously pulled into the “down”. But
neither is me, no need to connect the dots of my experience of the now into a conceptual “self” “having”
such experiences. I am Here. Now. Always.
->And now, I’m hungry, so I’m going to eat, lol. Simple .
-> Same process, just very different content, haha. But remember there is no different, no better or worse-
just Joy Now, in whatever form you (I) choose.

To Marce:
We have been chosen/have chosen ourselves/WANT to do all of this. I am connected with you in a way I
cannot understand or comprehend, but that I can feel and know. You understand all of this, but know only
very little. Know it with me. See that we have seen it in each other’s eyes, seen Truth reflected in each other,
seen it within ourselves, and are discovering now the pointlessness of these distinctions.
I could not have realized these things without you, cannot, do not want to…I want to do this with you and
you want to with me. We want this. I want this. – We need only to observe and listen to this arisen desire
within ourselves.
You’re beyond the need for conceptual/compartmentalized learning. You are Free to do what you want so
do it. Use time if you wish, only Know It is not necessary. Know Love. Know Truth.
Know Thyself.
-in any form you choose.

I do not understand our connection nor do I seek to. Instead, I Know there is much Joy to experience
through and with each other – plus share together with All! It is in so doing that we will then understand (if
we want to). We can do this. We Know we can do this. And we Know we want to. Thus we will. Will you
with me?

(Written on a napkin about 20 pgd ago )

-Marce calling and my thinking that I was stopping one thing for another. My “receiving” –the process- as
well as that which I was receiving…became concepts to me –were conceptualized as some “thing” I could
share with Marce or talk about with her. But I Know that all forms contain the same potentiality of Joy (to be
made manifest in them). Thus my differentiation – my separating and thus conceptualizing of there (as
different)- can similarly point beyond itself to further joy and understanding. You Are Now Always.

(continued to Marce…)
Please know I am not asking you to do any thing with me: only for you to Know Thyself and Be Free. Then
allow to arise what arises. Learn with me of your own inner-most desires that you have shown me within
myself. Now, in this moment, I -Kevin- desire nothing more than for you to be Free to see the Truth of all
this with me. There is no conflict between the types of Joy we manifest with and through each other. If we
want to travel, we will. If we want to teach, we will. We will do what we want, together, what more could I –
Kevin- ever want than this?  than you?

From before:
-Not knowing what you want –or believing you are not free to discover or do this/it- is ultimately the cause
of all current suffering.
-“Suffering” only exists through the interpretive and limited lens of the ego, which itself was created only due
to this same initial misperception. In doing what you Want, you may still encounter “obstacles”, but never
“problems”. You may feel what would normally be considered “bad” emotions, but never will you interpret
(or experience) these as “suffering”. You will simply Do. Learn. Grow. And find as much Joy as you
understand how. Now. Always.

She Knows everything- even knows she knows!

-“You saved me –I just keep getting lost and you have to save me again and again”.
-She sees my (in)humanity! Her “fear” is simply justified – or has been so far – the deeper intelligence in both
of us is providing exactly what the other and ourselves – I – need.
-> It always does but we are being conscious of this! Are being conscious of ourselves, of consciousness, of I.
-She trusts me fully and without conscious reservation.
->Remember, Know all this any time doubt arises.

“Unconsciousness” does not exist except through the lens of our limited perspectives/physical
manifestations. Consciousness is. It cannot be unconscious of itself. However, we can perceive this all to be
true by consciously becoming unconscious. This can be viewed the same way as when “Kevin” is 5 or 10% in
the background during the receipt of all this.
Consciousness is Always Here observing and willing all that is. It is only from our unconscious current state
that we perceive it as otherwise. And we do this because consciousness wants it (we want it. I want it).
Consciousness wants to be conscious of itself. We have only begun to understand what these word point to.
What, really, could mere “words” point to anyways? .
->this is how things should be and shouldn’t be x, must change and must not -> We should and must from
our perspective, but from The Ultimate Perspective, change is irrelevant.

Connecting the dots of our human experiences to form a conceptualized self/identity would be like a
river/the ocean describing itself as rapid or calm, hot or cold, deep or shallow or so on. All of these are part
of a constantly flowing/changing whole; to only look at one point and expand it conceptually to past and
future to form identity is illusory and limited. I am what I am Now.

Conditioning is not to be overcome, simply Known (watching “Life” is incredible. Conditioning, far from
“negative” or “unhealthy” in any way, is the process by which All form as we know it has “evolved”. We are
conditioning in this sense in that our body, ability to think, to feel, to analyze, create, even love, all of this has
been shaped and formed through conditioning – through action and reaction, response to environment –
thus to resist this process would be to resist our self, would be resisting the very process by which even our
desire to overcome conditioning was conditioned within. Do not resist any thing, simple Know Thyself.
Conditioning, then, we can now see, is reaching its end – not because it is bad or that we are capable of better
or anything like that – it just is. We can now see that, Know that.
My projections into what is possible are simply my best understanding of how to fulfill my function (my
perspective of it, at least). I must simply emerge into the world.

Spending time with Nico instead of Marcie in Bogota and my (not) smoking in Marcie’s Aunt’s house ->
issue of being sensitive.
->the fine line between being permissive and delicate -> do I – because I’m conscious – do what I know to
be right (spend time with who I choose/smoke) or do I become sensitive and understanding?
->if you’re conscious, nothing is necessary. Thus you don’t need to smoke or spend time with whomever you
choose. This is a Now decision, completely specific/particular. You know what’s “best”.
-Because you are conscious, you know they are unconscious – you can understand and therefore predict their
unconscious re-action, and thus choose right action. Speaking normally, you know what they can handle and
what they can’t and since proving you know best is not required anymore, you simply do what you Know to
be best for them (and for you -> the “self” and “other” are One).

->I didn’t know Marcie understood this because she argued “permissive” about Nico wholeheartedly and I
thought consciously. Hearing her now I feel freed from a concept I had of her not understanding this. At
first, I thought this allowed me to freely see her more completely, but it’s really just me being more Free (in
this case, of her concept). If (and when!) I am Free, there will be no doubt about any concept of any thing (no
concept of Marce or whatever).

->it’s not – not ever – about “the act”- what you do or don’t do – simply the state of Being out of which it
arises.
->we do not act out of love or fear or attachment etc (although this is how we always explain or justify it to
ourselves) –it is simple Free or not Free Choice.

Me to Marce: It’s such a wonderful experience being taught and I don’t get it often, so Thank You 
(Knowing, of course, there is no Teacher, no Student, etc…)

It’s the unconsciousness in you that responds to the unconsciousness in others. Know that everyone Knows
all of this, and then do what you Know to be best.
->there is no superiority and inferiority, only two equals can Dialogue.

->No one can free anyone...BUT  there is Joy to be had in experiencing freeing people -> just as in art or
music or any thing, every thing that is manifested in form -> we manifest what we know to bring us the most
Joy now -> and I find Joy in sharing this . I find Joy in you waking up and therefore will manifest it! 
->Giving and Receiving are One, literally! (very important)

Don’t look at me, look through me to Yourself.

Being awake between the sleeping (Nietzsche!) is the only pain – pain in loving.
Do not expect them to receive it
-Marcie and Nietzsche
->But I Know it to be true, there is nothing to receive, only Truth. Now. Always.
->This is conceptualizing the other (just like I did with Marcie and she with me) BE TRUTH.
-whether anyone sees the truth will not – and in fact must not – matter.
But  I Know.

I don’t see that I can help wake people up, lof, I see they already are! Know they already are. Truth has
always been there for all who want it (Nietzsche, Jesus, every atom!). I’ve seen, Know that people do want it
now (Tolle, Tipping Point, Dan Milman -> I wasn’t learning, I was Seeing! –now I’ve seen Maria, Mom,
Fabian, Marcie, etc) whether I teach or they see or whatever else I know to be insignificant. But it’s time to
wake up .

(1)I can promise you nothing.

(2)You can promise me nothing.
(3)And we both know this about the other.
This is what scares the hell out of both of us. How can I promise anything when I know I could be
unconscious? How can you believe me when you know I could be? This fear arises in each of us
simultaneously. And, importantly, it is completely conceptually justified. There is literally no way to speak of
this. All words are only themselves concepts. They only exist as pointers beyond themselves. You only know
what you know right now and as long as there is a “now” to even have knowledge in, there will always be
uncertainty. We both, now, know this, and thus we fear. This is what we sense and this is what we must
observe and not become. When become, fear of this intensity manifests in both of us as aggression. This is
like a fire exponentially growing.
We must simply look within ourselves to why we fear this. This is personal in both of our conceptual cases.
My concept of who I am fears this as does yours.

->This fear I have has nothing to do with you. And we can both say this. Know this. We, in fact, Know we
are One, lol. So we must only remember this and Know NEVER to attack or feel attacked. Either the
aggression or the emotional reaction to it (and this can arise completely un-caused!) is enough to start this
entire self-fueling fire/process. All it takes is either of us to allow such emotion even to manifest as words
and damage will be done. In some states, only Love suffices. (And maybe you only need love your
(conceptual) self to know you are demanding too much, pushing too much, etc and need only to take the
slow train ).

I’m attached to you. Fear losing you. And thus need you to understand this is the “problem”.
I’ve become the love I have for you rather than observing it. Lose you? How could this be possible? Only
concepts can ever be lost.

Marce: I feel trapped. Powerless. I cannot move myself. I can move me, but not you. I can’t move beyond
you if you get stuck. If you get stuck, I get stuck too!
Talking about how to “free myself from you”- from a static you. I feel it’s you force keeping me in, so I
respond to you because I want to move through you and so all I do is attack you. Incredible!!!
This is the death of self, my independence, my having a “my” at all!
->I feel as if I am free but with you I am not. Why is my freedom jeopardized by your lack of it? “It makes
no sense”

WE ARE ONE. You are finally Knowing this. Experiencing it. Living it. Being it.

Ears to hear? What ears? There is only I.

We can no longer survive within the illusion of conceptual self.

There is no me at peace when you are suffering because there is no me and no you (only I).

Only one of us needs to let go of self completely, then nothing can survive.

This is my process, Mine and only Mine. I cannot project my experience nor the lessons gained from it onto
anyone. I know what I know now. LOVE. NOW. ALWAYS.

I need only be in alignment with this.

Honestly, I don’t know if she says all this consciously or unconsciously –but it’s only the unconscious “self”
in me that would ever apply such a label. I know her words are exactly what I need to hear in my experience
of this physical manifestation. Mucho of what she says I want to scream is wrong, Know is wrong, (in my
experience of course, lol) but that’s the point! See the re-action. See the fear. Know it. Listen to it.

I literally think she has consciously decided to be unconscious and say these things. I have decided to tell
myself this.

I am Free. And so are You. KNOW THIS.

Something that is not separate cannot want, cannot desire, cannot love.

Can you come back?

From where?
Wherever you are.
What do you need?
Nothing. (Honestly).
What do you want?
You.
-Because it’s the most Joy I can have now->fear arose, deep fear, in fact, when I knew I wanted you. I
immediately justified it by saying it was only because I didn’t know how to find more Joy, i.e. when I did I
would no longer want you. But this fear does not arise due to want, it arises due to need –no actual need
because there is no need, only conceptual need, illusory need. This is the final unconscious assumption of the
illusory self that has such fears.

There is no “you” to even need anything.

What’s crazy is that I’m deeply at peace about all of this being true, yet I still cannot understand its
significance completely. I –as always- must Know this as well. Know that my physical manifestation of
consciousness is thus not required to do anything else, lol. Sound funny, but I really do feel such things.
This is again the trap door of treating this all conceptually. Conceptually, I must do something, yet Now, I
Know I need to be doing exactly what I am doing.

Seeing Nico and talking with him, both of us very Present – laughing genuinely, still enjoying each other’s
company – telling stories about Joe, Purple Haze, Satori in surfing and driving, harvesting (and just thinking
about the people I see every day, normal wonderful people…)…
People are not as intense (although some are) as I am, do not suffer because others suffer, take on other’s
burdens, etc. They just want to be happy, Nothing crazy, nothing profound, just free and happy. We all
have our own beautifully unique and uniquely beautiful way of enjoying our freedom. No need to expect any
thing of any one at any time. Think The Dude, Surfer Dude, Shelby and so on. See that this exists now, in
this moment. They may not see it in themselves, but they can see it through you.

What they ultimately see about themselves is not important, only that they see Truth, Themselves.

High Idea(s)
-Random Acts of Kindness
-No, really, just fix shit, give legal advice, financial, law or maintenance, give money away! Even $1, $5, just
give it to a stranger, buy their lunch give them a trip, pay their bill, smile , Hug, LOVE. Just see how it feels,
that’s all we ask. Give it a try. Give happiness a try. Give Joy. Give Yourself.
-Coordinate this in all major cities simultaneously. No Cause. Just Happiness. Just Me – I like that slogan:
Just Me.
Give it a try.
No Cause. Just Happiness.

-The dangling carrot of Happiness.

-The Joy of Giving (in which gift and receipt are one)

-Being Happy is Giving Happiness.

-Marcie: “He knows this! I know too!”-she says it in philosophy, Nico in waves, everyone sees it in their own
unique way. Truth is manifested in every thing. We manifest/experience Joy in everything, big or small. We
all see Truth. We know Truth, just from our own unique perspectives. We know it, I Know Truth.

-We don’t need to heal blindness, only show people they are not blind.
-Don’t run off with you own thoughts/realizations when she speaks. LISTEN. This is it. What you want is
Now, before you, See her knowing it, know that it is Yours, too. See Fabian’s , Maria’s, Mom’s, every ones.
See My waking up. I AM WAKING UP (and I can even be conscious of this waking up, see it, Know it).

-“The pain says pass but pleasure wants eternity” –Nietzsche! It’s the exact same!
->The flower seeking light…
You must come back. You must submerge yourself in your friends...You free them to create the overman.
And in so doing, you(he) free(s) your(him)self:
->This is exactly what I’ve felt, what I’ve seen, what I’ve wanted…what I Want, what I Know.

-Yes, we can create a new future, but remember! We created the past too! So we are Free, not to create any
thing, but to do through all things. NOW.

-It seems my journals are like “ditirambo” – like Zarathustra! The book for everyone and no one 
->Look this up

I take Joy in every thing! I know because all things exist 

About Marce: You are free in that you are not connected to the other. You Know you are Free and can be it
any time you choose/want. I am free in that I can find Joy in anything I want, because I am connected to
everything. I Know I am Free to do this any time I choose/want. Thus you are Free in a way that I am not
and I am Free in a way you are not. This is what we see in each other that scares us.
->Nietzsche: “You free them to create the overman. And in so doing you free yourself.” Thus I am not free
yet, because I choose not to be.

->You must be free in order to free. I become free by freeing. There is no conflict here.

->Marce to me: Am I creating? What are you holding back?

-This is all, really, truly, literally…is just the dance of consciousness. She and I reverse polaric roles constantly,
taking on complete opposite positions every time it’s necessary. We’re saying –simultaneously- exactly what I
need to hear and exactly what the other needs to, who’s become more “conscious” or “unconscious” this
time is irrelevant. This is what has arisen. This is what I Want. Always.

->With every person I’ve freed, I’ve become more free. These are, in fact, one in the same. In freeing Marce,
I am freeing myself. She is also freeing me by becoming free. These, too, are one in the same. It is only from
our perspective that it is separate. And this is why we become separate in the first place. To see myself being
freed and freeing myself, simultaneously.
Hanging out with Nico again, it’s obvious yet again that I simply find joy in too many things, lol. Truly, every
thing! I love understanding it, seeing it through infinite perspective, seeing it through yours, experimenting,
getting hurt, never hurting, and so on forever.
Marce, unbelievably subtly, had slipped into being a concept for me. Unconsciously, she took up all my focus,
all my attention and all my energy. All my consciousness was directed at her…very weird, but it just hit me as
I wrote that, that it’s only in my perspective that this was in any way “a mistake”. Sure, looking back, I now
Know that “I” could have done better, become more conscious or whatever, but it’s so clearly exactly what
was needed for me and even more for Marce (even the Universe? Lol!). So why the “mistake” label in my
mind? Looking back, why would we ever do that? Because we’re still learning. Thought(Time) still serves as a
learning tool through which consciousness can become conscious of itself in the third dimension.
Thought->One
Time->Now
I will continue to think this way until I Know, through my independent conscious experience of myself, that I
am One (Now). There is no “me” anymore (to even need to think about itself). Just Be.

Just Be And Enjoy Being.

->This process applies to every single regret, every single one. Personal, collective, universal.

-> Future,
It’s the time to think.
Future.
It’s the time to think about the past.

Will they meet again one day?

Will they meet?”
-Cut Copy – Future

I can’t think straight.

Help me now before it’s too late
Now what do I care?
Cause we’re going nowhere
Going nowhere
Going nowhere
Going nowhere
I can go there
I can go there

She just energetically attacked me about weed in front of Nico. I felt like she wanted to kill me again. Her
eyes went cold but she was unemotional, calm –but in that scary way. But what I felt was what was intense.
My heart felt like it was being grabbed and squeezed of lifeblood. I think Nico sensed this and actually spoke
to calm her down, even asked what was going on. Knowing he was there allowed me to trust my instincts
more and trust my perception. I woke up instantly, shook the energy out and spoke her sternly, waking her
up. The illusory conflict ceased (was revealed to have been out creation).

She is my moon, the brightest thing in the entire night sky, brighter than any other star, beautiful as
everything is, she shines brightest on my soul.
But You are the Sun, from which even she is but a reflection.
For eternity I can cherish her as the most meaningful of all the starts, but must remember from where she
received her beauty.

->Marce and I just realized we had directed all focus at each other – we had too much potentiality and it hurt
to focalize it so much. We’re taking a day apart – now apart – only to remember the Source of all this. To find
the Joy within and then to see it most beautifully reflected in each other.
->I had truly forgotten just how intensely toxic and toxically intense she was. Her growth has truly
transcended in time. Her from now needs time within form to adjust (it, of course, needs no thing, but now it
does)
->We have freed each other the most we can for now. Each of us must now find our own perception of
inner Joy and then express/manifest it to the world, each other, and ourselves simultaneously.

My problem is that I feel I should be doing more or less (more when I feel the weight of the world and less
when I feel the same - amazing, really, that I seem to feel this weight so frequently). I need only look around
and look within to see I don’t need to do more or less, for I am doing everything…I am everything! Breathe
deeply, and don’t forget to enjoy the Ride…weeeeeeee…

Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream…merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily…

Life is but a dream…

From You to You…

-Jon Stewart
-Faithless
-Crystal Castles
-President Obama
-Greg Nolan
-Valerie Winship
-My Momma
-My Dad
-Nico, María, David, Jeremy, Heather, Dr. Musser, Lucas, SPB, Hall, Brady, the youth group, Joe, Fig, Amy,
Annie, Ali, Angel, Highschool friends, teachers, coaches, counselors, neighbors, family (even 3rd cousins twice
removed you’ve never even friggin’ met! Ha!), celebrities, musicians, actors (The Dude! Surfer Dude!),
Michael Fuckin’ Jordan, Da Vinci, Jesus Christ, Lao Tsu, Plato, Socrates…strangers, jerks, CEOs, Politicians,
Christians, Muslims, Jews, Agnostics, Atheists, Terrorists, Muhammad Ali, Scarface, Tom Cruise, Bill Fuckin’
Clinton, Hillary too! Ha!, every bad-ass mutha fucka played by Samuel L. Jackson, John Tranvolta and so on!
WE LOVE OURSELF! All of it is in there if you look! It’s all you!

“Love of self born simply out of love for you” –Faithless to Muhammad Ali –this is all jealousy or envy,
worship, idols, who do you love?

Faithless – “Reverence” is simply incredible. All their music is!  See Truth. Calling all the Faithful…
-One Step Too Far -> I’ve been waiting…I’m still waiting. I’m with you…and you…and you…
-Bring My Family Back …
-We need to do relevant, True video to all of these! These could show people themselves (completely
different, but same with Daily Show and nearly all politics and media. So true.)

-Miss you less. See you more. Truth is Fun! Is everything! These are wonderful reminders of this . Think
Michael Jackson meets Buddha meets You.
-I can only imagine so many of these, You show me others!
-Faithless – I want more! Really, so unbelievably true. We simply need to unconceptualize Truth and see it
everywhere in every thing!

1 Giant Leap and What About Me Project.

->This is it!
->Look into this much more and send them to your site

-How do you know when you’re fulfilling your function? You purpose? How do you know when you’re on
the path, when you’re happy? When you’re enlightened? In Heaven?
-When you no longer have to ask.

Mind Open. Heart Enlarged. Soul Receptive.

-Woody Harrelson, Surfer Dude

->this movie really shows the love/hate relationship we have with our “inner demons”, as we call them. It’s
us, all beautiful.
->(Why David loves Two and a Half Men!)
->Also shows the insatiable (and often unavoidable) pull to money!!
->We just want to do what we want, truly, genuinely, beyond any purpose or need, just love, manifested as
best we know now, always. (Peace, joy, bliss, stillness, celebration, happiness, excitement, even frustration,
disappointment, pain, hurt).

It’s in this exact state that love (romance, but I hate all the connotations, ha) becomes obvious. This is when
you see yourself most reflected in another and are allowing the other too to see himself/herself most
reflected through you.
-Do you not see it in my words now? Do you not see yourself? 

-“Let him grow up outside and do what he loved. And he loved to surf.”
->It’s when people do this that we love them; that we see ourselves most purely reflected.

-Wave dances, rain dances, when truly believed…is just concentrated intent, want – as we manifest what we
want , this can and does, of course, work (same with meditation, prayer, and you now, sending that desire
within yourself and without yourself).

“That’s what we need in these dark days, is love, man.” – S.D.

-Manifest your inner beauty to the world, in whatever form! 

-FYI. This is much more true than you probably believe. Really think about the world of contracts, show
business, AIG, Goldman Sachs, etc etc etc.
Is this the best we know now?
Is this the best You Know Now?

Random High Idea:

-Movie guides that reveal the Truth that was always there. Fuck, it could even be the Pot Head Review, lol.
(FYI: I’m not high right now, believe it or not, ha)

->We own his reality, well, we own his image and image is reality, so we own his reality (we just have to
squeeze it more).

-“Charged and Peaceful at the same time, just like the ocean.”

-This sounds corny and cliché, but really, truly, we must do this for all children in the world, every single one,
right now. This transition may – and will – be very difficult at times. It’s difficult to face yourself after being
conditioned – by the world/yourself – for so long. But we can end that conditioning – and that suffering –
for all children. Now.
-We can free al children to be “raised on the outside and do what they love.”
-We can do this Now.

Speaking surfer dude for a sec…can we just forget about money and possession, build whatever we need and
want, then be Free…I want too much shit, man. I’m fuckin’ crazy, loot at me! Steve Addington loves ways, I
love consciousness, adventure, stillness, I love it all and I’m fuckin loco with it all, lol. I literally feel like he
did about waves. I’ll do anything! Dance! Scream, hum, you name it. I’ll do it. Can you please, pretty please
just all be happy? Nothing crazy, nothing profound, just cooool….

I can think of no where else than right here, no when else than right now…that I’d rather be. Is it perfect? Of
course not. I wouldn’t want it that way . When I do want it that way, it will be that way.

Get Up, Stand Up

Stand up for you right
Don’t give up the fight!

->Do you see how I “bounce back and forth”? Completely at peace and then completely excited…completely
happy them completely motivated to do something inspired...It’s (I’m) like the ocean, charged and peaceful at
the same time. I have my calm seas and my storms, my stills and my waves. I am I am.

-No Woman, No cry. Read the lyrics and LISTEN .

-Exodus: “Open your eyes and look within: Are you satisfied with life you’re livin’?”
We know where we’re goin!
We know where we’re from
We’re leaving Babylon
We’re going to out Fatherland!

-I’m waiting without waiting…

-“Surfer Dude” and “Waiting In Vain”
->It’s your love that I’m waiting on. It’s my love that you’re running from.
->To Marce. To the world. To You. To Myself.
-We’re jamming
I wanna jam it with you
Read these entire lyrics.
Jam with me!!
So “Jam by my side”

Don’t you see? THIS IS IT.

(Watch Bob Marley interviews (on drugs, on life, on love), don’t judge or conceptualize. Just see yourself.

-Don’t let them fool ya.

Or even try to school ya, oh no.
We’ve got a mind of our own.
So go to hell if what you thinking is not right
Love would never leave us alone!
And in the darkness there must come out light.
Could you be love and be loved? Entire lyrics!

-Three little birds…

-We need to use ALL of this, politics, music, art, media, YOURSELF (chemistry, quantum, physics, religion)
-simply see yourself, listen to yourself.

From You to You…

-One Love! What more words could ever need to be said?

-Africa Unite. We can unite Africa and the world! We have enough things. Do we have enough Love?

Bob Sinclair – Love Generation!

-We Know This! 

->World, Hold on!!

Tolle, ANE pg. 115

“You don’t live your life, life lives you. Life is the dancer and you are the dance”

With hearts on fire, I reach out to you tonight…!

My “frustration” is that nothing else needs to be written, said or done. I can’t think of any thing I need to do,
say, think, change, share, etc. It’s all there! Just open your eyes and see.
-(Speaking normally) all we need to do is help people see the connections between these truths: we need to
de-conceptualize these and reveal the inter-connectedness of all this. Music, comedy, religion, science, every
thing points to peace, joy, Now.
Interview all these people – Jon Stewart, Faithless, Cut Copy, Radiohead, Malcolm Gladwell, all those in 1
Giant Leap, WTB, Zeitgeist, all those interviewed in those, celebrities, people on the street, students, moms,
politicians, even criminals, Christians, Buddhists, Republicans, Democrats, young, old, American, European,
African, male, female, the animals, the Earth, The Universe, God, You. Interview Yourself.
->Have people do this with webcams, on their own, in whatever form – music, pictures, all of it only towards
this: the Freedom of every human being everywhere with no consideration of age, sex, birthplace,
possessions, etc: All simply free.

Be a stranger to the Present Moment in that you never fully know anything Now. You must learn from the
Present Moment, give it your fullest attention. Never forget or assume what you know and don’t know.
If you already know this moment, then this moment becomes boring, redundant, quickly to be placed in the
background (just like the moonwalking bear!)
Also remember that the present moment includes all things within you and without you – thoughts, feelings,
what you see, hear, smell, taste, every thing Now. Observe Life. Be Life. Allow Life to move through you.
Then direct attention (consciousness, presence, focus, etc) wherever it brings you the simplest, yet natural and
effortless, most profound sense of happiness, peace, joy, stillness, genuine enthusiasm, motivation or
whatever form of combination of these that leads to you Simply Being Now.

Life of Pi – Chapter 4!

Faithless: Comin’ Around on Myself.

-If all you want is out…
->there is not “out” – you create it all…

-Listen to this and follow your inner vision. Be creative – don’t fear yourself – for this is all your thoughts,
emotions, temptations, even fear itself is…YOU. SEE YOURSELF. Know Thyself.

What could there be to fear? (To lose?) (To gain?)

-Tweak your nipple lyrics – have everyone listen to this…truly, you in jail, you ashamed, you scared, you
young, you old (show these people in the movie! – pics, videos – show us all) THAT WE ARE BEAUTIFUL
and capable of anything we want. There is no weak, no unworthy, no “not yet there”.

YOU ARE HERE NOW.

And wonderful, loved and capable of infinite love to give. You are creative, you are, in fact, joyous. Now, in
this moment, Always.

All that changes is your awareness of this joy. You know it or you don’t, but it is there regardless: LET IT
BE.
-No you are not “completely” joyous. You do not “have” fear, have suffering/pain, etc. Look at the world.
Look at your body. Look at each other. Look at yourself.
->Don’t you see the joy and the fear? The peace and the pain? These are what make up You. In and out is the
same. You manifest what you believe to be True. What do you believe? For the answer, simply look at
Yourself, your emotions and thoughts, body, your brothers, your family, the world, etc).

Now, -What do you want to believe?

-What do you want to manifest?

DO WHAT YOU WANT

Believe what you WANT

BE WHAT YOU WANT…

For me: Listen to Flyin’ High. This is all I do high…what is there to fear? You cannot change. This is your
experience of being conscious of yourself. Expansion, by definition, implies the experience of change. Don’t
you see? From this/our/your perspective (all illusory distinctions), “you” become “bigger” per se. What you
perceive yourself to be expands. But do you perceive it correctly? It is your perception of yourself that
changes, not Yourself.
-When high, “I” get lost…what “I”? How could “I” be lost? This fear results from a limited perspective
fearing expansion/death/Freedom.

Drugs are of course unnecessary. Life is unnecessary. Time is! YOU ARE YOURSELF!

So enjoy becoming conscious of yourself. It’s really that simple. Do the birds worry? Do the flowers? Does
any thing in the Universe but humans…DO YOU?

Any worry is of the ego for only an ego, by definition, could ever worry. If you are what you are and cannot,
in fact, change…what change could there even be to fear?
Fear, by definition, requires future, requires time…
IS ILLUSORY.
Don’t you see?

Sidenote: Equally important is to know that only an illusory “I” would want to expand beyond this moment.
So why take drugs? Who/what wants to?
Exactly! And yet, now, in my perception of this moment, I am a limited I. Thus it can of course be genuine to
want to “be”/perceive more (of) myself.

Correct, drugs imply the possibility of losing yourself. Especially if you are inexperienced, don’t have much
conscious awareness – slip into identification with things – anything at any time (which all of us currently do),
then this will similarly – yet more dramatically/extremely – manifest in drug use. OBVIOUSLY.
Of course there is perceived “risk” in perceived “expansion”.
These, by definition, mutually exist. There is no good or bad, right or wrong, there is nothing to fear.

So Love (BE), and do what you will.

Faithless “Feelin Good” lyrics

-I’m making my mistakes…I want the view from the top of the hill.(quote entire lyrics here )
-To see myself. Perceive expansion. Become Aware.

Become conscious of myself. I lift my hands and ask for nothing more!
Now Dance! I’m Feelin’ Good! 

->Have video that capture this perceived dichotomy! I’m happy! I’m sad! I’m at peace! I’m depressed! None
of these Exist. They are merely your perception of yourself – a manifestation of what you Believe – Now, in
this moment.
The world IS – YOU ARE. Thus what could be changing? Of course you know this already. But do you
KNOW IT?

I need not ask, I need only observe what is.

See what is. See yourself.

Don’t you see???.....

We cannot change the world. We can’t even change ourselves. Change implies and ego/limited perspective
attempting to change. Don’t you see that this is, but definition, impossible to “escape”? If you see this
thought, you cannot CHANGE so that You, then, don’t have that thought. This you is illusory. Is merely
your current perception of your self… It is not yourself.

BE YOURSELF.

Later.124

No thought is required, no change is required, no thing is required.

However, your experience of expansion will involve all these things, don’t you see? If you are reading this,
you are still a “you”, a limited perspective within which the experience of reading this can occur. This is not
to be overcome! It is meant to be enjoyed – meant to be experienced.






























































124

This cannot be “known” and it must be experienced. Tell me how to enjoy ice cream, sex, Life, without
actually exploring it. This is an obvious necessity, so merely ask if you’ve experienced happiness, true joy,
freedom…well see it in me – see you in me. Experience yourself. Let Go! There’s beauty in the breakdown! -
> a video could, like What About Me, link these songs together beautifully. I even like this writing ->
whenever the line ends, you see there was no line to even end!
Fearing some thing implies identification with that thing, whatever it is.

If these things sound crazy, to what “you” do they seem this way? How do you currently view yourself?

“If my body was a mirror you’d be able to see exactly what it is about you that makes me shiver…”

You are amazing! (Show this – show Stewart, music, movie, art, but show a wife’s love, everyone’s love! It’s
all you WAIT to do...!!!
(What about me videos are nearly perfect for this!)
O do what you love, what you want! So Let It BE.

Have No Fear…
Be and Enjoy Being…

“They keep on knocking but they can’t come in…”

-this means Truth is everywhere –music, philosophy, art. Your self shows this, is telling you this.
-this is nothing new, nothing you haven’t thought of/seen/experienced at some point in your perception of
“your life”. You’ve seen yourself, been yourself at times. BE YOURSELF NOW. .

There is nothing to learn, no thing to hear, no thing that can change! Only your experience/perception belief
can change. Therefore believe what you wish. And see that manifested through experience.

-You are God. God is Love. Therefore, You are Love. Enjoy Love. Manifest it.

Pain does not exist. You created it. That which you refer to as “pain” is but an experience you have, no? So
don’t “call” it anything...Feel what you feel…know there is no thing, no experience, to ever fear.
Do you see?
->Experience this, try to and you will. You can do any thing.
->pain is literally your experience of fear. Nothing more!
Side note: Go through what you fear and you see there was nothing to ever face. Go through pain/suffering
and you see there was nothing there that could ever hurt you.

-It is your unobserved assumption that you can hurt yourself – That by pushing through pain you can cause
more pain – that the assumption that pain exists is revealed. Cause more pain? I thought you knew it doesn’t
exist, it’s illusory. What is there to fear?

-Push through and you have the self-defense mechanism that pulls you back instantly. Think a hangnail or
stretching too far. This is exactly the experience I mean. You never can go too far.

-Now, you can stretch too far, you can hurt your perceived self! But only due to addiction. Why did you start
stretching the first place? Doing drugs in the first place? Did the natural desire to stretch arise? Answering
this is the key to revealing unconsciously held addictions -> there’s a very limited “you” going through some
sort of expansion (in your body, career, life, current experience of now, in this moment).

Thus do what you want, genuinely, effortlessly, lol, peacefully…

-do art, make music, create, relax, Be, and enjoy Being!

Any experience of “pain” points beyond itself to your previously unconsciously held assumption that “pain”
existed in the first place (or the unconscious identification with some thing, concept of self, which could ever
be hurt, damaged, even changes in the first place.

Thus it’s only in believing pain exists that it does.

->You cannot, by definition, “understand” this, you will know it by experiencing it.

I just Knew this with my current back pain. I stretch very deeply, peacefully, and feel the pain being released
– the “pain” immediately and effortlessly is transmuted. However, at some point, I feel it “hurting” – I
become sore or feel a jolt pushing back – these indicate the desire is no longer natural and effortless, don’t
they?

It hurts? You felt that way? Well then, why keep pushing? You push because of unconscious assumption that,
by pushing uncomfortably, you can “heal” yourself, improve yourself, become better in some way. Don’t you
see this implies a “you” that needs healing or that could even be healed, be changed.

Therefore, when I realize this I see, in this moment, I am no longer in pain…it’s only my assumption that the
pain still exists and needs to change that makes it so…by pushing here, you are identified with a self in need
of change or assume there is pain that, in fact, does not exist. Do you see?

->Quote CIM in fear as children of ghosts and goblins. As adults, all that we fear is still our own created
nightmare. Believe – as a child does his parents – that there is no thing to fear. (MJ’s ghost video seen at
Burger Town) Ha .

->Dance with your inner demons! They are our beautiful creation beyond which we experience expanding.
.

Are you still afraid?

If not, your monster will be revealed as your own creation, with which you now DANCE .

Sections
-Want to think about this more? Here are links to that…
-Want to do this now? Here’s how (volunteering, learn the guitar, be creative, etc)
-Want to share this? Etc...

This is the seed to these connections. From You to You, this site is but how you see yourself.

Do you still want me to go? No? Then I will .

->By knowing there is nothing to fear – nothing that needs changing – then there isn’t any.

Did I scare you? Well yea. Then what was there to fear? Don’t you see? Hello???
->Then MJ, I, get scared too..so what was/is there to Fear?


Don’t you see that he saw?

And that Now, through his seeing it, you see that You see it!

Ted.com!

Dude, really? Too much fun, man, too much fun! 

->look at “about Ted” section
->an intricately interconnected whole!
->well, let’s act like it! 

->Declaration of InterDependence

Write a new Declaration of Independence for all to sign – Let’s be our own Founding Fathers…and mothers
and sons and daughters and soon. Let’s Found this moment, now, within ourselves our right to be free and
happy.
And let us give this right to every human being without consideration of any thing.
Simple.

With this simple consideration, we need only see that what we can offer to ourselves to enable our and
everyone’s – pursuit of happiness.
->Venus Project is the first glimpse at what way to look at answering this.

There is never any conflict that we have not created within ourselves.
Thus let us discuss this as equals, without conflict.
What do we believe? What do we want?

Before answering, Listen. Listen to yourself showing you, first, what is possible.

Fear of pain is resistance. There is nothing to resist, ever, as there is nothing to fear. Thus pain/suffering is
the experience of fear/resistance.

All this points beyond itself to the fact that “it” never existed. Does not, now, exists except in your mind that
created it.

Desire vs. Temptation

-Desire is natural beyond thought. I desire this means I do this. What you do is what you desire (from your
perception of what it is you desire).
-Temptation is “you” thinking about desiring something, whether you “ought” to, per se.

Drugs allow our perceived self to journey within itself, where in we ultimately realize there was no “self”
(independent, separated) to go “beyond”.
We go through ourselves to see there is no self. We are one self. All that is is.

Marce says I lose myself, I feel she is correct and thus fear this myself…
But what is self??? Truly analyze what you think is being lost in these moments……
You lose x (yourself). What x (self)?

This elicits fear because we have not desired this yet. In our perception, we are not One. We are a bunch of
“I’s”. Thus when we experience – through drugs – this insight (more authentic perception of what “is”), we
are – in “my” independent perception – going “beyond” something. And in so doing, we similarly “lose”
something, or “leave behind” something. Interesting assumptions we make here, no?

I believe myself to be Kevin Hanson, much more conscious than he used to be, capable of genuine,
perceivingly “unfiltered” communication with God/Myself (and I genuinely believe these are One…the we
are all one).
-If I believe this about myself, how can I “go beyond” or “lose” anything. This is an inherent contradiction
revealing the unconscious assumption/unexamined belief that I am also not there things, that I am an “I” at
all.
-This perceived contradiction is what genuinely inspires fear. In this context, fear is meant to be listened to
and gone beyond.

You don’t desire NOT to do anything, that is impossible. You fear (not) doing something.

Here we need only be completely, genuinely and utterly honest (with each other and, more importantly, with
ourselves). This is how I feel now. This is what I am thinking now. Here are my uncertainties. Here are my
fears. Here are my passions. HERE ARE MY DREAMS.

I have all of this. Am all of this.

KNOW THYSELF.

We can then judge/see for ourselves the fruit of this journey. See what is. See your inner state, your body, the
quality and enjoyability of all thought, emotion and experience of this moment, now.

Then repeat, what do you desire?

(Has come full circle with I Want Joy Now. Awesome )

I think acid does this to the extreme (senses, objects, vision, self-perception, all perception) is revealed as
illusory/optional. We see what we choose. I am consciousness becoming conscious of my self! I see there is
no self!
As we do not Know this yet, (in our experience of reality as independent “selves”) this elicits “fear”.
Perceived “pain” to a perceived “self” experiencing it. This is the experience of expansion, going beyond self.

Speaking normally, it’s important to know that “pain” will be experienced naturally, in this expansion. These
are things you are, by definition, uncertain of. Thus if there is a “you” journeying in the first place, that “you”
will experience going where it is not familiar, is uncertain, and thus can perceivably get lost. This is the nature
of perceived “exploration”, no? That you don’t know yet, could screw up (which you recognize as an
unnecessary label – all is simply a learning opportunity – all of it ) is precisely what excites you – is the
emotion through which you perceive genuine desire, childlike curiosity, excitement, whatever. You are
children. Don’t try to overcome it. What is there to overcome?

There is nothing to fear!

God, your loving father and mother – You! – is telling his children who He loves beyond measure (for it is
you loving yourself!) this.

There is nothing to fear, little one. Everything will be all right. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I love you, no
matter what you do. I will always love you.

Look at Kyle, Tito, and Tolle. They don’t have this same desire to excel, go forth. And that’s precisely what’s
so beautiful about them. They Know – at least more than other – the peace availably Now Always.

I Know this and yet continue to desire to expand. Genuine childlike enthusiasm to make mistakes, screw up,
dance, have fun, go crazy! I’m a teenager of consciousness among children, lol. (A toddler among babies).
For some reason, I continue to unconsciously believe these are in conflict. I keep judging! Thinking about the
authenticity of my desires. There is nothing to fear. Trust your inner guidance. Trust yourself. Love Yourself
. Enjoy Yourself. Be Yourself .

When we all do this we will then See we are one. We will Know it. I will Know it. I will Know Myself.

ENJOY THE RIDE!

So when taking drugs, the most important question to ask your “self” is why you want to change your current
perception of Now.

If, in any way, you are running away from the now, fear it, etc., then you will only perceive yourself as running
away even more. This is the corrective nature (what we might call “nature”) of yourself.

You search until you see there is nothing to search for.

Then see it is impossible to be honest within the current monetary system. Look at the news. Look at
everyone lying to each other. We are all competing. We are fighting ourselves. Killing ourselves. Why?
Really…WHY?
This was necessary within scarcity. We have enough now! More than we could ever dream! So Give to your
brothers! Give it to yourself!
->Love, Food, shelter, the ability to be Free, in every way, to give to himself/yourself too!

You cannot convince any one of this because there is nothing to convince any one of. Are there many
debates about what 2 + 2 is? Why not?

The nature of the attempt to convince negates Knowledge.

You Become there realizations. They can be seen in you, through you by others. They also will be manifested
in your actions and in your experience of the current moment. Always.

But there can be no argument. This is a non-existing concept.

There is no conflict. Ever.

->Tolle quotes this! (CIM)

-One cannot even conceive of conflict.

I believe, I know, that many have been without conflict! Many are Now, in this moment, even in your current
limited perspective which you Know, in fact, to be limited. You perceive that knowledge with peace and
enjoyment. There simply has been no arisen Desires to change things.

There is Now, Through Me.

And through Many, Fresco! 40 billionaires giving away all their money! Hundreds, maybe thousands, of
millionaires, and millions if not billions. ALL! Of us on the Planet!

It is not profound, not in Need. This can never be a Genuine Desire because it requires, by nature, the
assumption that there is “better”.

There is no better. There is only what we want. And we want to be One! We want to love each other. Share
with each other. Be Happy! Be Free!

Nothing needs to change for this to happen. We have it now. Do you realize you do? Know you Do?

We must Know this for Ourself and that we will not be hurt – cannot, in fact, ever be hurt – by any one else.
We are One.

So permit freedom to you brothers. To you loved one. To YourSelf.

If you fear the other can be hurt, that fear originates only in you.

There is nothing to fear. Ever.

To Myself: (and all others who hear me)
You are a visionary. You enjoy visions of other possibilities. That is all. You have the patience and
discernment to experience these without becoming addicted to them. Thus you can genuinely share them (no
defense, no argument, because there’s no self to do it or need it).

Simply Know what you want and why you want it .

Unicorns of Consciousness

“Argument” does not exist. Neither does “conflict”. This cannot be understood within language because one
cannot say that “x” does not exist when “x” does. One can say unicorns don’t exist because they do not in
the way we communicate. They exist only as a concept in our head, our imagination.
Thus all concepts of “hate”, “conflict”, “argument”, “suffering”, “pain” and so exist only in this same way.
So, in language, to say in conflict does not exist requires us to know these are only concepts (they only exist
as concepts) in the first place. Unicorn(s) of consciousness. Do unicorns exist? Does conflict?

So when we believe they exist, they do (because we manifest what we believe).

->museum’s origin – Ripleys – Angels, healing, miracles)

->all conflict!
-with your parents, boyfriend, between nations, ideologies, everything!
-it exists only if we believe it to.

->Remember, you can never convince anyone of this – including yourself – because it’s always there, being
manifested by others for you and them to point to.
-MJ video!

You cannot tell others it doesn’t exist because that implies you thinking you have to. You only ever convince
yourself. Don’t you see?
“I”, as Kevin, am only experiencing our collective Desire to be free and happy – “I”, as Kevin, feel all of our
wanting this, every single human being alive, in this very moment,…wanting this for themselves and each
other.

I cannot convince you that you desire this. I can only allow the desire to arise within me. You then see it
through me and all that I do and say.
This journal, this site, this life, this (your) experience of this moment is nothing more than this.

Again, this does not mean that you cannot be hurt. Your perceived self can be perceivingly hurt. But this only
happens when you do not Know what you genuinely want. This is discovery, exploration.
->in which “pain” as a concept does not have to exist. Trust your inner guide. Trust Yourself.
->We don’t not touch the kitchen stove out of fear. We don’t because we Know it will hurt. Fear only
arises when we don’t know if it will or won’t.
->Thus it is in fearing being hurt that it exists. If you Knew you couldn’t be hurt, there would be no fear.

The enjoying of uncertainty

Patience, Cautiousness, Humility, these are beautiful and to be practiced so long as you are at Peace, fully,
Now. When a Desire arises, listen to it. Could life not be more simple and easy that this?

-My Yoke is easy. By burden light!

-Heaven is in your midst!

I don’t know if I should do drugs! Woo hoo! Ha!

There is no “down”, just resistance to letting the “up/high” go coupled with tiredness(consciously and
physically) (both of which perpetuate the other, making it difficult). When you resist, you become tired and
when tired you become susceptible to resisting… why I fear Marce is correct and we mutually energize each
other’s fear through mine. I don’t Know .
->the nature of the tiredness will tell you is you “pushed” instead of listen.

Seeing that you just hurt yourself – or that another just hurt him/herself – changes not that You can not be
hurt Now. Pointing to that you or someone else just hurt themself only serves to justify you current fear of
being hurt Now. Do you see?

->This about it! Logically, this is induction/deduction. There is never any proof of pain/conflict in your
immediate experience of Now. There’s only you telling yourself this louder and louder until you listen. Not
listening means the experience of suffering pointing beyond itself. Listen and it is all immediately transmuted.
Note it is only fear of being hurt that could possibly stop you from trying/believing this.

I Listen 
Help me Listen 
Let’s Listen Together 
Do you see how everything ties together yet? We are an interconnected whole! See our beautiful connections
with one another! See us getting it! See us waking up! See Yourself waking up!

WAKE UP
WAKE UP
WAKE UP


You believe you will be (think you might be / could be) hurt by believing you cannot be. Do you see the
contradiction? This must be experienced.

By saying I love you, I’m gay (why even use a label? You aren’t any thing!), I quit, I’m afraid, I’m uncertain,
I’m not ready yet…whatever you fear within yourself is manifested outside yourself. Know there is nothing to
fear and there won’t be.

Say what you will. Feel what you will. Do what you will.

Way different line of thought:

-Venus Project. Fresco Essays.
->Don’t want things to change.
-This is a trap into thinking by changing things we will be more happy.
-Happiness cannot be found in things, therefore a changed state of happiness or joy cannot be achieved
through the change in things.
-There two are one. Happiness will be reflected in things that then free us to be more happy to create more
things and so on forever (as long as we Want).
-This is not how the future will be or how I want it… The future does not and will never exist. Be Happy
Now. Then create what you want. Now planning is ever needed.
-Thinking this way stops being attached to any “ideal” future. Even the time it took to design all Fresco has
indicated he had found much happiness in anticipatory happiness in the future. He can if he is joyful and
effortless Now, in doing so. Are you? Do you want to think about being happy…or be it? Imagine it or create
it? .

->All of this really only needs to be Known. There can be no convincing. No argument. Show This! Then
Dialogue about it!

->I Know no thing, but here is what “I”, Kevin, know now. I want to love, be happy, be free, and I want the
same for you, every single person on the planet. I want a healthy planet no to harm or damage anything
intentionally. I want everything and nothing. I raise my hands and ask for nothing more…and then I’d dream
with love and imagine with my soul all that I CAN DO, never need to, never even “try” to. There is no effort.
Just Joy Now. Always.

->Nothing is wasted and life is worth living! Heaven is nowhere, just look to the stars! There is a day that
is yours for embracing. Everything’s nothing and nothing is OURS!

Watching Habba sleep in the cutest, most comfortable, peaceful state, I couldn’t help but stop and be happy,
at peace with him. This is the slightest smile you can’t help but feel as you notice genuine peace. It can be in
any thing - a sunset, work of art, whatever – but it is mort genuinely reflected in another human being. The
thing is, there have been extremely few – if any! – truly happy, free people. All people have developed within
a system of perceived scarcity. Every single one in existence. Ever. Think about it!
-So we have not experienced this! Thus we have not Known it. Simple.

Thinking about this (the Venus Project, Tipping Point, WTB, Zeitgeist) explaining how change is possible
and how we’ve gotten where we are. All is past and future. Both illusory. Think if it brings you joy now. Do,
feel, be what you will.

Know happiness is yours now.

Know there is nothing to fear.
Know it and it will be so.

Marce: I am at peace. I have no tension. I am not attacking you at all.

->Then 1 minute later: I think you’re doing this wrong (not said but clearly assumed). Me: I feel like you’re
pushing me. Her: I AM pushing you. I think you need to be pushed.
->True or not, this Is created conflict and completely unnecessary. Me? Pushed? Haha . I push myself way
to hard and re-act unconsciously to feeling being pushed (Dad, Christianity, good Lord!)
->I can, however, be in fact “pushed” in that I genuinely am open to anything anyone has to say. But I am
hardly pushed by words, by sounds. Communicate with your presence, with your love.

Side note: You cannot DO anything to me or for me! That you try causes you pain and me to come back to
pain. PAIN DOES NOT EXIST! Let me go. Let yourself go.
Her note – my response: it does not feel threatened – “I” do, Kevin does – I feel this openly, without fear or
any feeling of conflict and you look at me with SUCH fear, such pain, that “I” – Kevin – have left/changed –
Do you remember last night? You cried, had to leave, what was being threatened then? What could you not
face? What make you feel fear?
->When I see this re-action in you, I can only hold peace and non-conflict for so long. You literally pull me
back and I don’t want to be pulled back. I want to be free.
->I suppose all we must both remember is that WE ARE FREE, including not to be without each other. I do
not need you and when you hold on like this, I do not want you.

I’m to the point where it is difficult – if not impossible for me to explain this. Thus I cannot talk to you about
it; I can only be it and hope you see it; share it.
Every time we talk you merely bring up a counterpoint. We both know there are always counterpoints! I need
not think or talk (or even write!) about this ever again. If I do, it is only because I want to – the effortless
desire arises. I want to Know this, Be it.

You say you’ve never seen such beauty in my eyes…then what’s there to push?
Speaking normally, leave me the fuck alone. When you do, when you let me go, I’ll be with you .

I need not “understand” or “learn” anything else…so what could there possibly be to “teach” me? BE it
yourself. THAT I can learn from.

-Don’t you see? This is no longer conceptual consciousness for me. I Experience it. I AM IT. And I’m
beginning to Know it.

Abundance within and without is the same. We do not show people they have inner abundance so that they
will then change the outer world of scarcity nor do we provide outer abundance (Venus project) so that
people will have the freedom to be Free.
We Are Free Now. Inner and outer will reflect simultaneously.

Just watched What About Me’s Wanting, Bombardment, and Grace (the finale).
Marce, Fabian and I were moved to tears, we were so excited. The pain, the loneliness we feel comes from
believing people don’t get it! I catch myself screaming “THEY GET IT! JUST OPEN YOUR EYES AND
SEE!”. And this is true to an extent. Many are becoming aware. But remember there is nothing “to get”.
Having this unobserved assumption that light can hide, that Truth can change, that you or they can “become
better” means you fear they don’t or will not and thus create it.

You’ve seen this CLEARLY in all “fights” or tension/conflict with Marce, between Mom and David, you and
yourself – this is how all pain and all conflict continue to exist. We can create it by fearing it, in ourselves or
ultimately in the other. It is always there to point to until you know it does not exist but within yourself.
There is no “other”.

(later)->Email I wrote about “Evil”*

I’m merely the sperm that makes it through. Of millions, really only 1 goes through to spawn new life. All are
equal, yet only 1 makes it through. (Also meaning I’m the lone nut, the crazy “overachiever”, lol. I PUSH
MYSELF. This is natural for the one sperm that makes it through, no?)
-Think watchmen Dr.Quantum Video (possible 10 dimension version?)
I am a miracle Kevin Hanson! I am beautiful and complex and INSPIRED and have so much LOVE to
Give! I am me! -> Another great slogan. LOL!
Know your conditioning to be a work of Art, unfolded through conscious experience itself. And not only
individual, but multiple, simultaneously (What About Me Quote) All at the same (double slit!). I am I am. The
Ultimate Observer. (WTB).
->this is beginning to make sense from too many angles, ha!

Doing drugs was never the issue. I see that clearly now. It became it conceptually, however, quite easily. I
knew I got lost -> became more unconscious – due to it’s nature of “exploration” – discovery, by definition,
required previous ignorance and therefore limited perspective. Again, to be Enjoyed, not Overcome. But due
to this, Marce was correct to point out I had temporarily become “lost” in a perceived “higher order” of
things. The desire to journey could have been (and I believe was) Genuine, yet I had become attached to this
as a concept. Simply, I was not Now, Listening. I was off analyzing Now in comparison to and expectation I
had created. Not natural, taking much effort. (Why they perceive tension? It’s there! )

I need to be careful with drugs. I think Bob Marley and see that What About Me “Grace” video and am
reminded of this drug’s beautiful inclusion into our human experience. Drugs are not meant to be avoided,
no thing is . We are children seeking grace.

When should I do drugs?

When I don’t even wonder if I “should”. This doesn’t mean I deeply know, therefore, that I should. I mean
I’m beyond caring about that. With no fear. I can clearly, unfiltered, perceive what I want (to relax, be
inspired, write, speak, whatever!). “Should”, as roaches are to the Argentinians, is irrelevant.


REARANGE

The Beatles, Faithless, George Carlin, Crystal Castles, Hot Chip, opening up to try drugs, to try everything!

Really, it’s all very obvious for anyone looking. The thing is, who’s crazy enough to look? For me it was
Power of Now, What the Bleep, Tipping Point, Blink, 10th dimension, Poker, Politics, Fraternity Life,
Intense relationships, Christianity, Moving to Colombia! Not going to Law School! Giving up the concept of
money! Zeitgeist, my mother, my father, multigenerational suffering creating a vast inward potential to feel
coupled with an incredibly gifted mind and, to top it off, the natural genuine Drive of expansion beyond
comprehension (from birth, mind you!)125.

Who’s crazy enough? That sperm that gets through, that’s who, lol!!!!126

And that’s all that is. Ted.com video about Multitouch, Photosynth, Tipping Point, Zeitgeist, Venus Project,
What the Bleep, 10th dimension127, All they do is the same thing!! They’re sperms in their respective fields
only in that they has a rare yet natural drive to expand. They found much Joy! They’re curious! Dedicated128. I
simply saw myself in them and connect the dots. It’s all any of us ever do within ourselves and our experience
of this moment. We experience Joy in expansion, in seeing beyond, through, and in simply Being. Now.
Experiencing the expansion, the experience, as we wish.





























































125 Point being it took a lot of listening. Nothing more. Just complete attention, dedication.
126 So….how did You See it? See Yourself? Tell us, we’re listening ! I’m listening!
127 Later: Tolle, What About Me.


128

We see this genuine dedication and we also see it is obvious to them. No conflict. No convincing. Just joy
in sharing! Hey guys! Look what I found  -> it’s grown up Show and Tell time! Revealing there is no such
thing as “grown up”. WE ARE CHILDREN!
REARANGE

FYTY will grow exactly as Photo Synth does, with info, with Truth. Or not even Truth, Just Genuine
Dialogue. It will Emerge.
Side note: FromYouToYou: Earth which you zoom with Photo Synth into who? You and You and You (taxi
driver, hair stylist, teacher…!).
It sounds so silly to me that I see how “marketable” all this is, lol, but I do. I see marketing campaigns, open
dances with What About Me videos (people there to talk about and explain things openly, my there  - no
teaching, just Dialoguing (this relieves a lot if not all my “fears – as silly as they are – of public speaking ).

FromYouToYou – People will listen to this, will resonate with this. Just Me. No Cause. People will Trust this
. (People will trust each other…themself!)

See Yourself!

FromYouToYou…

Marce to me: George Harrison’s “Learning How to Love You”:

->While waiting on the Light,
How patience129 learned to grow,
Endeavor130 could relieve me.
Left alone131 within my heart,
I know132 that I can love you
Love you like you may have never been
Move you more ways than you have seen
To a point in time when we133 see so much more
Then the ground that we touch
With each step so unsure.
As teardrops cloud the sight,
Your eyes may never know
No truth could ever fear me,
And left alone within my heart,
I’m learning how to love you. (It doesn’t get more beautiful or true than that! Wow)

There is no path to love.

You are the path.





























































129 Be Now
130 FYTY, helping the por, making it, etc. Future.
131 I only want to love and be free.
132 I do.
133


!.

Use Time, Love Now.

Stop Searching, Start Listening.

You ARE a miracle.

My weed use/states of consciousness/ needing to forgive myself is to her what the world is to me. It’s
exactly the same.

The present moment is your child. It is your creation and to be loved and given your fullest attention.
Watch your creation unfold before you!

JOURNAL 5

Entry 1 
Am I completely joyful Now?

• That is the only question I ever must ask myself.

Marce: “I always just want to share this with someone else. Look at it!”

This is the nature of ego. This is the devil: belief in separation. This, by definition, cannot be “overcome,”
“gone past,” “improved” from, etc. because all of these require an ego overcoming, going past, improving,
etc. Do you see?

The present moment IS you! How can “you” be alone?!

Entry 2 
The irony of love (I’m thinking of my love and connection with Marce) is that you CAN and DO overcome,
go past, improve this. It’s not overcoming the ego but going THROUGH it.
It is by embracing your ego, cherishing it as your creation, loving it, that you let it go. And when let go, you
go through it to the other, only to see that there is no “other.” You are sharing yourself with yourself, you are
loving yourself. LOVE: realization, Knowledge of Oneness 

Entry 3 
Marce: “When I let it go, the excitement is too much. There’s too much Joy. And this scares me. It’s too
much!!...That’s what I can do with you (me), feel the excitement without the fear.”

Pain is our experience of Fear, of Resistance. It is us telling ourselves to let go and Be Here Now. Now
includes complete Joy, Excitement, Freedom. Now is Heaven.

Marce: “It’s like I tell the world: ‘I miss you less and see you more!!’ ha, Hellloooooo world!” 

• Hello Now! Hello Joy! Hello God! Hello Me! 

Entry 4 
Experiencing this with each other, we mistakenly – and unconsciously – attribute it to each other. In doing
so, in facing losing each other, we face losing this experience. Ultimately, we face (and fear) losing ourself, of
being “alone.”

Whatever you have this experience with – literally what or whoever it is – Know it is through it that you
experience yourself. Know there is no “it,” is no “other.” Enjoy Yourself. Love Yourself. Be Yourself.

Entry 5 
Similarly, remember You are everywhere because you are everything! Everyone! Not seeing them is not seeing
yourself. Seeing and responding to their ego is seeing and responding to Your ego.

In order to love them, you must see them. In order to love yourself, you must see yourself.

KNOW THYSELF. In this sense, seeing, knowing and loving are one in the same. Have all or have none.

• This has been said many times. PLEASE KNOW IT. Please simply Know Yourself.
• This is the Authority Problem (CIM).134 The ego is nothing more than my attempt to author my self,
to make my self. The ego is simply the “me” I believe myself to be.

Entry 6 
“FLOW: For the love of water” documentary!

This is it!!

It is the common people on Earth that will ultimately make this change! No big political movement, no
dramatic revolution, nothing spiritual, etc.! Simply the firm resolution that all human beings, despite age, race,
sex, birthplace, economic condition, etc….no one is denied adequate food and water. Flow shows this





























































134

Link
to
wikisource
version.

PERFECTLY and yet is still confined to the monetary system. Follow this exact same logic you have for
water to simple Freedom for all. Why “possess” anything?

Tie in Venus Project and simply show what we are capable of.

Entry 7 
It is now obvious all the connections between all of this. Power of Now points to all religious people tired of
conventional religion, to all humans desiring Joy Now. Science, Religion, Politics, all People in all fields from
all backgrounds Know this.

Simply show the connection, show we’re an interconnected whole. Ted.com, technology, Venus Project, 10
dimensions, What the Bleep, Faithless, Bob Marley, Marx, Nietzsche, Buddha, Ghandi, Jesus, Che, Michal
Jackson, College Professors, MLK, Our Founding Fathers, All Global Leaders, Dalai Lama, Jon Stewart…Do
you see this goes on forever?? YOU KNOW THIS.

No “new” material needs to be made. We can all put this together for free. Put it all together with a narrative
showing the connections. “I” need not make this all, it simply needs a platform within which it can Emerge.
Camilo is this! FYTY is this.

Entry 8 
Page 1: Declaration of Human Rights

• Put this together ASAP. Won’t be too difficult.

• Then show how and why each is currently being denied (this will obviously stem from the concept of
profit, creation and system of $...Zeitgeist, Venus Project).
• Explanations of “human nature” and a new way of viewing why we’re here can be introduced.
• This is religious and it is not. It is in that it agrees with the aims (and in fact allows to manifest all
concepts of Heaven, Nirvana, Eternal Life, etc.) and is not in that it is only obvious, only common
sense even if – possibly especially if – no God exists: We simply provide for all humans the rights to
life, freedom, and the pursuit of Happiness. Really, that’s all we’re doing. Nothing else is necessary.

And yet, this is just the news. Now, for the exciting part!.....Here’s what we CAN do!!

• Venus Project again, discover our bodies, our planet, our Universe, each other, all mysteries ever!
Ted.com! What about me! Everything!

Entry 9 
Ironically, part of the problem – possibly the main problem – is that there’s simply too much information out
there. We simply have no way to trust anything or anyone anymore. FYTY can therefore be both simple and
complex. State the Declarations, everything else is optional. Only look, read, explore, etc. for fun, if you want
to, if it helps you, helps you help others, etc. This is simultaneously infinite in nature and simple in nature.

• We Resolve: Rights to Life, Liberty, Pursuit of Happiness for ALL (go into as much detail as you
want to about each).
 Entry 10 
FLOW

Only issue is that there are still perceived “enemies” of profit and corporations, both of which are only
concepts! The CEOs of all these companies MUST not go out of business lest they cost the jobs of
thousands or even millions. Yes it’s their own paycheck, but can’t you see that even more than that it is the
ENTIRE SYSTEM out of which ALL of this arises and on which all of this depends?

ALL of this operates within a profit-based monetary system. SCARCITY DOES NOT EXIST.

• Not physically, not emotionally, not in any way! There is an abundance of air, of water, of
food…..AND OF LOVE. NOW!
• Every human is Equal. Of Equal Worth. Of Equal Right…to Earth and Everything that is.
• Flow shows this. WATER shows this!

Really, seriously, with all your soul if only for this moment….imagine your connection with water. You drink
it every single day in everything you consume, every thing! You cook with it, brush your teeth in it, shower in
it, use the bathroom in it, clean everything with it….ARE 70% IT!

• Need you any other example, any other constant reminder, any other pointer beyond itself….than
water? Than what you ARE? Than YOU?
• All Humans everywhere must unite in this most basic, common, obvious declaration!

Entry 11 
The monetary system need not collapse, for the monetary system does not, in fact, exist. $ literally is nothing
more than pieces of paper and coin (and in the U.S., that’s only 3% of it…97% already only exists as fictitious
#s on computer screens). No thing needs to change, but everything will 

Entry 12 
Random , but to promote this:

• Faithless Tweak Your Nipple and Sun to Me, Bob Marley, Hot Chip – use incredible music with the
lyrics and include the narrative creatively and awesomely. Lets get people’s attention baby!!! 30
second commercials are only a glimpse, have the whole videos online for free – just like What about
me!
• This can be and will be the biggest, baddest, awesomest, most sincere, beautifully True marketing
campaign ever conceived! Why? Because it’s From You, To You, that’s why! No incentive but Yours!
• Be Creative. Be Joyful. Be in Love. Be Happy. Be Sad. Be You.
• Show each of these with different beautiful, honest, raw portrayals (to music, with narrative).
• Have FUN tying all this together! Creating something beautiful! Something miraculous!

Entry 13 
What’s Needed Now
Global Planning Commission

• Happy World Index, Fresco, set up a list of things to accomplish. Do this in conjunction with Tolle,
Dalai Lama, even current World Leaders if they’re willing.
• Ultimate Goal: What’s best for every human being equally and for the Earth and all living things.
(One in the same)
• How to accomplish this? Create a list: infrastructure, mobilization efforts, food/water/medicine to
every person who needs it. NOW. This is a complete re-design of everything and will require
complete honesty and collaboration between everyone.
• “We have the vision. Now let’s have some fun. Yes, it’s overwhelming, but what else can we
do? Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?” – lyrics from MGMT
• Lol  Better than Folgers baby!!

Entry 14 
All this represents our best understanding Now. Nothing is certain. Nothing is concrete. Nothing is constant.
Except Change. So change is incorporated into the Foundation of everything you find here. Openness to
change is the only constant we expect and demand. All else is simply the best we know now. So speak up.
Tell us what you think. This is from you to you!

Entry 15 
Wiki-style editing could involve voting. Edits are always claimed by username, as are compilations of edits put
together by different usernames. The “best” version is displayed first, but all versions are kept and archived.
At anytime, you can alter what it is you see to best reflect what helps you most. Thus the entire site can be
evolving and fluid, never constant. The technology on TED can be used to implement this!

Entry 16 
Jeremy Rifkin’s “The empathic civilization”135

• THIS IS IT!! Wow, so easy to see, so OBVIOUS, no?

• What we’re saying isn’t dramatic, revolutionary, spiritually enlightened, or anything other than
WHAT IS OBVIOUS  This is From You, To You. I am you and you are me. WE ARE ONE.

Entry 17 
I really, truly, do see this Now, in this moment, with perfect clarity. “FYTY is not needed, lol. No thing really
is!” I only ever say this because I don’t Know it yet, don’t you see? Once I Know it, I AM it. I’ve read this
over and over in Tolle, my journals, and now in CIM. I know this (understand it) completely. The only step
left is to Be it. The only thing in my way is my self. I mean this literally. It is “my” concept of “my” “self” –
the ego – illusory “me” and “my” story. Once truly let go, I won’t even think about these things.

EVERYTHING YOU SEE IS YOU. (NOW.)

LOVE YOURSELF. (NOW.)






























































135

Watch
it
here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7AWnfFRc7g

 Entry 18 
What do I want to do now? I’m really thinking deeply about this. I know all this to be true. I know, in fact,
that what I do is unimportant – merely a reflection of what is internal. So…WHAT DO I WANT? I need not
imagine it, I need to create it! NOW. Well duh, lol.

So as silly as it seems, I just want this all typed up so that I can talk about it.136 It’s all mere words, nothing
meaningful in and of itself. But what it all points to within You – whoever is reading this! Literally whoever,
whenever – Now IS meaningful! It points to ME  For I am within you. I am you. And you are with me.
You are me. Now.

This no longer needs to be conceptual. Time does not exist. Do you Know this? Do you want to?

KNOW THYSELF.

Entry 19 
Empathic civilization video:

• Don’t you see? It’s this soft-wiring that results simultaneously alongside our concept of “self” at all.
The belief in “I” means the belief in “you.” They form simultaneously and are one in the same belief.
This is how the end forms simultaneously with the beginning. The end is the beginning.
• And the beginning is illusory. There is no beginning. There is NOW. What else could there ever be?
Think about it.

Now, this is very, very important….You – whoever is reading this – whoever! – already knows this. YOU
KNOW THIS because YOU ARE IT. You are me and I am you. This is not conceptual. It is YOU.

Remember in the video how what you experience IS what I experience? Well, it’s the same with knowing this!
I know it when you know it. You know it when I know it. Because our experience is only one experience.

Our conceptualizing our individual paths along the path of reaching this realization CREATES our inability
to ever reach it. This is because you have unconsciously collapsed yourself into an individual, separate part of
this. How can “you” overcome only being “you” when it is “you” trying and thinking about how to do it?
Don’t you see? It is your concept of self in the first place that is the only hindrance. And it, in fact, is no
hindrance because it does not Exist.

Entry 20 
If you suffer, I suffer and if I suffer, you suffer. This is only obvious. All that changes is how we each show
this suffering – most of us cover it up with “anger,” “depression,” “rebellion,” “escape,” you see the
pattern…

Entry 21 
30,000 of you a day die due to completely preventable deaths (insufficient supply of water, food, etc. Simple)






























































136

Well
yay
me
for
typing
it
now,
lol.

You do not trust each other because you are in competition with every single other person for pieces of paper
you call “money” and require for access to everything in existence. You, in fact, cannot trust each other due
to this requirement.

Half of the entire human population lives on less than $2 a day.

You KNOW all this. Deep down, you suffer because of it. Whoever is reading this, Now, if there is suffering
anywhere in the world, then you, now, are suffering. As soon as you see it, it is your suffering. Haiti proves
this. Proves it.

This does not require every person on the planet to understand. No movement or revolution is necessary. All
that is necessary is that you – reading this Now – Know it. If you know it and experience it, then every single
other person who sees you will experience it to. This is soft-wired into our very nature. We are a self-
correcting, self-healing Being. And this is proof of that. Healing is available Now. All you need do is Know it
is 

Entry 22 
When you see anyone else not get this, it is YOU not getting it, don’t you see?

• This is the only reason we have not changed…because there has only been glimpses into what is
possible by individual parts of us that still view themselves as individual parts (or still view
themselves as individual “selves”) having the glimpse.
• This is revelation instead of miracle (in CIM terms).
• Much has been revealed, very little simply Known.

To Know it, only I need Know it. If I know it, any perceived “other” will see “my” experience and ultimately
see it as “their” experience.

I – as Kevin – am but one part of this, obviously. For some reason, I’ve fallen into the trap of always
wondering about “my” role in all this. I’ve imagined multiple different paths towards this realization – seen
my writing a book, teaching it, talking about it, creating a website about it and so on – even now, I still see
these various possible paths. Yet this is not “my” path, IT IS OUR PATH.

So I never need ask about “my” role, only OUR role. Don’t you see? 

Entry 23 
This is all “you” need do too. Anyone reading this who understands even part of it need only want what’s
best for all of us. If this is what you want now (and I assure you it is), then how to get that will be obvious in
your immediate experience of this moment. This is the only moment there ever is, so this is the only time it
need be obvious. Do you see?

SHOW this to other people. You must not keep it to yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to
be afraid of, simply share this with everyone you encounter. If not in words, just know it to be true and keep
that Knowledge firm in your mind Now, in this moment. Trust me, this knowledge WILL BE SEEN. It will
be felt. “Your” experience is “their” experience. Please remember this. Just as theirs is yours, yours is theirs.
 • Thus Know that you are CREATING their experience.
• If you feel fear, you create fear in their experience of this moment.
• If you feel love, you create love in their experience of this moment.
• If you feel/think/believe X, you create X in their experience of this moment.

This is not optional and is happening now, even as you read this.

• Look around the room wherever you are Now. A café? Library? Your living room? Bedroom? (If
you’re in the bathroom, well, you know, this won’t work and that’s disgusting, ha.)
• See every person in the room, be it a few dozen strangers or your husband/wife, who or how many
doesn’t matter.
• See them and know you feel what they feel. Look deep within and know whatever you feel now, they
feel now.

Remember, this is not some spiritual notion or philosophical possibility, it is actually happening Now. All
that’s changing is your awareness of it. You are becoming aware of yourself. You are feeling yourself in a
deeper, fuller, more holistic way.

This is all I mean by the evolution of consciousness. “Consciousness” is nothing more than our perception of
reality, of our experience of this moment, Now. The extent to which you experience this moment (from
being aware of your breathing, your heartbeat, to a deep sense of Joy arising with you, all the way to your
shared experience with all those you see of the totality of all this) is your state of evolving/expanding Now, to
know more of yourself.

This is all the Oracle at Delphi meant with “Know Thyself” and why it has been understood for centuries to
be meaningful.

Don’t you see that all the examples racing through your head right now (how this is contained within
Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Quantum Physics, Music, Poetry, and so on) are proof that this has been
revealed already, simply not Known.

So what are you waiting on? Really look deep within yourself, now, in this moment, at any fear, any thought
or feeling that arises. Do you want to feel or think it? Expand your “self” and experience more of the totality
of this moment. Experience more of the totality of Yourself. And Know that whatever experience you have is
shared with everyone you ever encounter.

This is what Gandhi meant by “Be the change you want to see in the world,” don’t you see? There can be no
change “out there.” You cannot change “the world” or “the way things/people are.” Thinking this way
CREATES the very separation you are seeking to end. You can only become more aware of what you already
are, now. Knowing this IS changing whatever it is you want to change, don’t you see?

• Knowing and Changing are one (like I said forever ago). It all comes around! 

Entry 24 
I need only SHOW my Knowing this to every person I encounter. There is no “way” to show this (there is
no perfect spaghetti sauce!).137 Show it however you Want  Smile. Give. Simply Listen. Do whatever you
want, don’t you see? It’s really this simple!

Entry 25  
The only thing that needs to change is that MORE OF ME knows this, lol. One white blood cell can’t fight
off an infection, it takes communicating to each other and mobilizing each other.

You might think that deep peace now AND this urge to mobilize are in conflict, but they are one in the same!
Be deeply at peace now but SHOW this to your brothers! Speak up. Say something. Laugh. Breathe Deeply.
Sing. Dance. BE NOW. 

How do you know it AND change it? That’s the trap, remember? Knowing it IS Changing it (because all that
needs to change is our awareness of what already is). You change the “other’s” awareness by being aware
yourself. Be the change you want to see!

Entry 26 
By the way, “work” is going to be the new privilege. Most of you actually have to do very little, if nothing at
all. You simply get to be happy now. But many will be able to create global transportation systems, design
mobilization efforts to every human in need on the planet, plan the mining of Saturn’s moon! Design an
entirely new educational system that promotes genuine creativity and advance in global knowledge.

“Work” is putting your knowledge and natural desire to give, help and create into practice. This is a privilege,
not a responsibility.

Otherwise, you get to learn anything you want, from how to play an instrument to how to best create a brand
new type of instrument; travel anywhere you want (soon at least!) and Be Happy Now. Don’t you see? This
IS what’s best for everyone. We don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to. How could that possibly
benefit us?

“Work” is yet another non-existent concept.

Entry 27 
9/5/2010

Tonight, I Know it again  Know it Now, even. All I can say is:

• “No one who learns from experience that one choice brings peace and joy while another
brings chaos and disaster needs additional convincing.” – CIM
• Being completely vulnerable, loving with all my patience and courage and effortlessness…I FEEL so
much, but none of it could ever be considered suffering. I even “hurt to an extent – I genuinely
empathize, but my Knowledge that this is illusory, easily “overcome,” not your true – current –
nature; that I willed this; that I AM all of it, ha; it’s just too much fun.






























































137

Link
to
video.

 • The intensity comes and goes but “not minding what happens” (as Krishnamurti said was his secret)
brings a constant, deep peace.

Entry 28 
Jeremy Rifkin interview:

The first 3 things you learn in school:

1) Knowledge is Power.
2) Sharing knowledge is cheating.
3) Your goal is to acquire things and skills in order to survive and live a better life than others.

Thus our educational system is Foundationally outdated/incorrect.

• Each individual is no longer an “island unto himself.”

• Knowledge is Collective, not individual.
• Your goal is not to improve you, it is to improve the collective AND you simultaneously.
• This is “Biosphere Consciousness” as Rifkin calls it.
• I simply say: We Are One.
• These are the same exact thing.

Rifkin says that change occurs when energy and communication revolutions occur simultaneously.

• The Venus Project/Zeitgeist II shows there is an abundance of available energy Now.

• The Internet allows global communication like never before.
• The Time is Now. These are occurring Now.
• Imagine Distributive Knowledge. Available to all humans without any consideration whatsoever.
• We are Equal. We are One.

Entry 29 
I really believe this is completely feasible, even likely!

• At first, it seems overwhelming: a complete redesign of our global infrastructure, the cooperation of
every human being on the planet (including Fox News viewers, lol!), an overhaul of the entire
educational system, an expansion of empathic consciousness to include all human beings – equally -
as extended family…these and even more, all simultaneously?? Hmmm….
• Yep, likely!
• 2 polar bears about to drown, the earthquake in Haiti, Flow the documentary…these all reveal the
amount of suffering in the world today. Even terrorists (what seems to be a near insurmountable
concept to most North Americans) point to this; they are not filled with hate, they are suffering!
They are hurting and angry and afraid and thus willing to believe and ultimately do anything to stop
it; even commit suicide.138
• Far from respond with fear or anger (both of which would be justified in a scarce environment) we
must only view them as Family.





























































138

Adam
Curtis’s
documentary
“The
Trap”
basically
reveals
the
concept
of
“terrorism”
as
completely
illusory.

 • Extend to them – to everyone – the same love and understanding you do now to whoever you
consider your family.

All of this suffering is then coupled with the realization of what we are capable of as a human species. Just
spend an hour at www.TED.com and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

• Energy, food, water, shelter – to everyone on the planet!

• Technology beyond our wildest imagination, all easily created and distributed with machines!
• Access to all information and collective knowledge immediately to the entire globe!
• And most excitingly, the infinity – literally – of space that awaits to be discovered and explored!
• This is all possible NOW, in this very moment.
• AND, this has all developed within the utter restrictions of the monetary system.
• Just take a minute and imagine what we can do and provide and achieve and discover and create and
DREAM when we all realize these things and stop requiring fictitious pieces of paper to be
exchanged for what is all equally Ours.
• Is this possible? Likely?
• Why don’t you tell me! 

Even more exciting is that You – whoever is reading this Now, without any consideration whatsoever – is
Equally entitled to help plan and ultimately benefit from ALL of this!

• Every single person stands to benefit from the simple acknowledgement that these things are true.
• No one must lower their lifestyle! Really!
• Think your house and computer and lifestyle are nice now??
• Imagine access to the entire planet and all collective creation! Imagine free travel, incredibly delicious
foods, technology beyond your wildest imagination, the list goes on forever!
• And this is purely selfish, purely what’s best for you and only you.
• Now imagine the excitement and joy that this fills you with inside every human being you encounter!
• Look around and see everyone where you are.
• Do you see the underlying uneasiness and fear?
• This is necessary within a monetary system.
• Everyone you see, ever, is competing with you for “enough” or “more.”
• Just imagine for a second the Shared experience of this type of freedom and relief and excitement.
• Now know that you can CREATE this experience simply by Knowing this yourself, Now, in this
moment.
• Know it, breathe deeply, and smile 

Entry 30 
Incentive

• This is a very important concept you need to examine.

• Underlying nearly all of your thoughts is the fear of your being deceived, lied to, hurt, etc.
• This fear has been “justified” due to what you have experienced and seen in the past regarding all
human behavior and interaction.
• Take a minute and think about this. It’s important you see this is true…
Now, why has this been the case? Why have humans been this way? What incentive did they have?

• In a monetary system, the answer is obvious, no?

• In a scarce environment – real or imagined – the answer is obvious, no?139

We can create a world where this incentive DOES NOT EXIST. It, in fact, does not exist now, in this
moment. However, we continue to create it by believing it already exists.

• Look deep within and you’ll see you do believe this.

• Why do you? Well, because everyone else does!
• This is fundamental to truly realize.
• You believe yourself, currently, right now, to be in competition with everyone you ever encounter
(and even those you don’t).
• And due to the systems of governance and distribution of all things required for Life, Liberty and the
Pursuit of Happiness that we have in place, this is actually – relatively – true.
• You are in competition with everyone, aren’t you?

So the question is: Do you have to be? Do you Want to be? And do you have the incentive to change these
systems so as to remove the fiction of competition that then creates the incentives to lie, cheat, hurt, etc.
currently existent in the minds and hearts of all human beings everywhere?

• Do you see that these incentives are created?

• They are a result of what we choose to believe and thus to create.

So all we need ask ourselves is what we Want to believe and which incentives do we want to create?

• The answer(s) to these questions form the Declarations on this site.

• They are the foundation from which we then all equally and firmly resolve to accomplish them.
• This is nothing more than what we Want; nothing philosophical, nothing spiritual, just what we
want.

Incentive is nothing more than the natural compulsion to do what you want.

• In our current system, it is to acquire and compete.

• This is the very foundational incentive created by the nature of the system.
• So do you Want differently??
• If you do, join us and offer yourself and each other the natural incentive to create a new system that
permits and fosters everyone’s equal ability to do the same thing for themselves.

There are PLENTY of people who already Know this and understand it!

• Collaborate with all of them immediately.

• (All speakers on TED.com, Tolle, Faithless, Bono, Dalai Lama, the list is endless!)
• Literally all we need is an open forum within which we can share – and thus strengthen – this
knowledge and these resolutions.
• We simply need communicate about this openly, honestly and Equally.






























































139

If
these,
for
whatever
reason,
are
not
obvious,
watch
Zeitgeist
II
or
simply
ask
me,
lol.

 Entry 31 
Just watched Zeitgeist II (for, I think, the 3rd time) and want to record my immediate reactions:

• First of all, I feel heavy, bad, even “guilty,” scared, etc.

• This is NOT in any way uplifting; it feels defeating.
• I also feel like I’m trying to be convinced, argued at, etc. This all could be – and most likely is – very
biased.
• Thus it perpetuates the very conditions it seeks to end.
• It also promotes very specific, action-based responses for “social transformation.”
• You need not boycott or quit or change any thing, except yourself.
• You need only love and connect and give; and not how I tell you to or anyone else tells you to, but
how you genuinely, effortlessly, peacefully desire to.
• Anything Zeitgeist says, Fresco says, or any person says is but the result of their doing this same
thing.
• We cannot and must not attempt to end our ideas of separation and division through imposing our
own individual ideas of how to do so.
• Vital is only our sharing individual ideas as part of the whole.
• We are not competing against each other or against anything (including political systems, economic
systems, bankers, CEOs, terrorists, etc. or those supporting them).
• We are Here Now. Together. One.
• The music, voice and overall presentation of Zeitgeist II runs counter to all of this.
• However, it contains much Truth!!
• And it exposes – very well – the underlying assumptions that – when unexamined – allow for the
perpetuation of our foundationally flawed systems of governance and distribution of resources.
• Thus we need a resource/forum within which we can examine such ideas openly – unbiased – and
Equally.
• Remember: there is no “better” world. Thinking this way creates a competition of ideas about what is
and is not “better.”
• All we propose (or all I propose, lol) is a world-system in which all such ideas can be treated equally.
• This, and only this, is true freedom.
• I believe with all my heart and soul and mind that if we merely do this, the universal, natural desire
for the happiness and freedom of all fellow humans and creatures on Planet Earth will Emerge.
• We must only get out of our own way in allowing for it to.
• The difference with FYTY is that it is Free of such bias and, equally, any desire to convince or argue
at all.
• Everything here is humbly and peacefully Shared.

Speaking personally, it’s amazing for me to see the clear pattern of how I piece things like this together.

• All of my successful eBay business, LEIC, all my investment decisions and so on have been formed
through the process of seeing all current ideas and combining and altering them to be more efficient.
• I can recount in specific detail how I’ve done this with all of my business and investments and see
now how I’ve done it in envisioning a new global design for human interaction and views on human
behavior.
 • This is extremely fascinating to step back and view about myself and how, apparently, my mind
operates.
• I am a connector. I think of little, if anything, new and/or revolutionary.
• Instead, I recognize true revelatory ideas and incorporate them immediately into my current way of
understanding things.
• I let go, push forward, and – more importantly – feel compelled to tell everyone I know about the
connections I see and share them.
• This is a natural compulsion of mine beyond my control.
• I listen to it and find joy and peace or I ignore it only to be unhappy and frustrated.
• I truly believe (or at least seriously wonder) if/that every human being operates beautifully and
naturally in this same way.
• I don’t mean as connectors – obviously – but I mean we all serve a very specific purpose/function to
the whole: think inventors, visionaries, connectors, those who only wish to play, to create, to give, to
be at peace, and so on forever.
• Astrology most likely has a piece of this truth.
• Am I a brain waking up to recognize livers and kidneys and hearts in the living organism we call
Earth?
• Lol, or am I just destined for the looney bin?

Entry 32 
• In any case, whatever I say and whatever is presented here on this site is but our best understanding
now. What we understand is meaningless in comparison to how we share it with each other.
• We must love and do what we will.
• We must be happy and joyous Now, despite whatever else happens.
• It is in doing these things – nothing specific or required or prescribed by anyone else – that we will
come to find collective happiness, collective joy and collective Peace.
• We are no longer on individual paths, only a shared one 

Entry 33 
Marce counterpoint:

• Most important of all to realize is that this site is meaningless (not a great pitch for our own site, lol!).
• It is mere words and images and sounds.
• It is pixels on a computer screen.
• All you see and read here are but pointers to what lies within You. Now.
• You are amazing and a miracle to be loved and cherished and Shared.
• This site is but a reflection of You.
• Knowing this, you can read and learn and enjoy everything here. But do so knowing that this
moment – wherever it finds you – is equally as miraculous! 
• Thus do not look at this site but through it to yourself, now, in this moment.

Entry 34 
Morning Realization:
FYTY isn’t my idea! It’s for Camilo!  Really, think about it. LEIC was all “from” me, and yet I was never
passionate about fulfilling it. Fabian just listened and listened and listened and look what he’s accomplished!
Amazing! All I want is for you (Camilo) to listen. See that this is what you WANT to do. It actually, at its
core, isn’t even about “changing the world” anymore, it’s about creating something extraordinary, something
Beautiful, something Miraculous. You have been called to do this by yourself and I am but the messenger (lol,
awesome). Man, I won’t spend 6.000 COP ($3 US) on a beer and I just sent you $1,500 without you even
asking! I’ve given money to LEIC because I genuinely believe in its potential – and actuality Now – to bring
happiness and freedom to many people. But I’ve given money hesitantly. You didn’t even ask! I WANT
YOU TO BE FREE to do this! I believe you were meant to 

Entry 35 
CIM “to have” and “to be” distinction.

• We all need to explore this very intimately.

• What does this mean for You, whoever is reading this?
• It means you are not born into this world “lacking” anything.
• You do not need to go to school to “become” anything you are not already.
• You need only “learn” about what you want to learn about.
• You need only learn to blossom the beautiful, natural, amazingly individual combination of desires
and passions and dreams that you and only you have.
• You need not “do” anything during your lifetime.
• You have no “responsibilities” to me, yourself or anyone.
• What you have is the Gift of Life within which you can explore and discover and celebrate whatever
it is you were born with!
• The Surfer Dude loves to surf, Michael Jordan to play basketball, the Buddha to teach, Tolle to be at
peace, don’t you see?
• This can never be Taught or even Learned, it is their function.
• So what’s yours?
• School is irrelevant. Your “job” is irrelevant. Truly, both are completely and utterly irrelevant.
• Be Happy Now.
• Spend time with your loved ones. Have Fun. Aren’t these what we already know we want?!
• You work – or put up with working – so that you can have fun, spend time with family and friends,
so that you can do what you want!
• Do it Now.
• This is an incredibly beautiful self-perpetuating cycle of Awesomeness.
• You are free to be happy and happy to be free!
• This innately joyful experience is the ultimate Weapon of Mass Creation with which you will then
automatically and naturally bloom more joy into the collective human experience.
• This is no longer conceptual, no longer to be taught or learned or reached or shared or anything.
• This is Now.

This, therefore, is a call to the world. This is a call to You, whoever you are, wherever you are, wherever you
were born, whatever you have, etc….This is a call to You to Be Happy Now, and then see what happens.
 • We’re going to see a funny thing happen: whatever it is we “need” for all of us to be free to be free,
will Emerge on its own.
• Fresco’s Wanted to design your cities for 40 years now!
• People Want to design ways for us all to have free energy.
• CEOs Want to give away what they have (40 billionaires already have!).140
• WE WANT TO BE HAPPY!

So lets friggin do it!

And let’s do it Together! 

Entry 36
Camilo, I can write and say and share these things if you can just create the best goddamn website the world
has ever seen to creatively share it all Now. Whadduya say?? 

Actually, I’ll do all that regardless, lol, but this is part of it! Let’s do it together! 

Entry 37 
“Life is a game that cannot be won, only played.” – Baggar Vance141

Entry 38 
“How can the editor know better than the writer?”

• Marce said this about Nietzche and a bad translation. I took it as me editing God’s writing (Life).
Why would I want to edit creation? 

Entry 39 
It’s been several days since I wrote anything, yet after an amazing day with Fabian and after just now, out of
nowhere, being compelled to read “Adventures in Consciousness” again, these ideas/connections suddenly
came to me:

• Adventures in Consciousness, Change Blindness, Double-slit experiment, water experiment from

What the Bleep, thousands of butterflies born all over the world going to only one tree in a remote
forest (and numerous other examples of utterly mysterious behavior in animals and nature that we
have no explanation for whatsoever)142, how the universe began, how big it is or even if it has an end
– related to these is the concept of time itself about which the greatest human minds have had much
to say (Einstein!), consciousness, what it is, life after death, UFOs (which is utterly reasonable!), 10th






























































140

Link
to
story:
http://www.komonews.com/news/local/99947109.html

141

From
the
movie
“Legend
of
Baggar
Vance”
with
Matt
Damon
and
Will
Smith.
Not
a
life‐changing
movie
but
I

loved
it
when
I
was
younger
and
Tolle
mentioned
it
once
as
an
example
of
“presence”
so
I
watched
it
again.

Actually,
Will
Smith’s
character,
“Baggar
Vance,”
gives
some
incredible
advice


142

Saw
this
in
Life,
the
documentary.
There
are
many
other
examples
in
the
series
plus
an
infinity
of
others

throughout
all
of
nature.

 Dimension, reincarnation, non-physical entities, completely undiscovered portions of our own
Earth!, the complete mystery of the infinity of space all around us waiting to be discovered!
• Use these and many others to show how we have no idea as to the nature of our world or ourselves.
• There are mysteries everywhere!
• Everything is a mystery!
• Really, this is fundamental for us to accept into our current awareness of this moment.
• I feel it’s silly I think of such amazing mysteries within this context, but I’d love to have this be the
opening section of a book or website. This would set the stage simply for opening your mind to new
ways of understanding the world.
• Politics, religion, culture, relationships, TV, nearly everything in our current civilization is designed
precisely to avoid such questions.
• Especially in the case of animals, nature and Quantum Physics, there is no doubt that these things are
true. They MUST be looked at, examined, considered and incorporated into our current view of our
world, each other and our self.
• This is not frightening but encouraging. It is not threatening but liberating.
• There is nothing to fear and everything to explore and discover!

If this can be presented unbiased, without conflict, without any intention to deceive or argue or
convince, just honestly, lovingly...then people might open up to the vastness and amazingness of
their own conscious experiences of the totality of reality as we perceive it.

• Then show the current state of our world, both what is available in the forms of energy, resources,
technology, etc. (Venus Project, etc.) as well as in the suffering experienced currently all over the
planet (Flow and many others).
• Then introduce TED videos showing all the amazing ideas and dreams and abilities and passions and
achievements and possibilities that are existent Now.
• Then show how music and art (poetry, philosophy, etc.) have beautifully shown all this (Nietzsche,
Bob Marley, all the examples from my journals!)
• Then show Jon Stewart, George Carlin and much, much, much more….(the monetary system,
concept of self, etc.)
• Then show “How to start a movement” video, Tipping Point, how changing thinking about the
world is changing the world, how simply loving yourself and all those we encounter is how to “make
a difference,” etc.
• This might take some time to put together, but the stage is set and this will be an exhorbant amount
of fun.
• I can simply Talk about it  Share it 

Entry 40 
All of these are not “separate.” It’s not that understanding one leads to the other or vice versa, it’s all
connected, just as you are to everyone and everything. That’s what’s really beautiful about using the internet
to communicate all of this: these connections can not only be shown, they can Emerge. How to do this I
don’t know, but Camilo does, You do!

As to content, I get overwhelmed about how to provide it all, but once the forum is there, people can do this!

(Graphic of me and my journals expanding to encompass whatever is needed)

By definition, this cannot be “planned,” hahahaha! 

Entry 41 
As I read Adventures in Consciousness again, I’m reminded of the Joy I experience in simply exploring all of
this. I could be perfectly content in a cottage forever exploring the mysteries of my mind, reality,
consciousness and so on. But there is no conflict in sharing this! This is what I meant a long time ago when I
wrote about that which excites “me” and that which I need to share; between that which “pushes me
forward” and that which brings people here/to understanding. There is only Joy to be experienced Now in
whatever form I Want, be it creating, exploring, sharing or anything else.

“Teach only love, for that is what you are.” - CIM

Entry 42 
9/28/2010

Marcie and I just “broke up.” Talking to Nico and Freddie was surreal. Their perspectives, unfiltered and only
their own, were incredible, as in I couldn’t believe them! They saw everything I saw; her tension, her drama,
my calmness and being pulled in.

My perspective underwent a dramatically abrupt shift. I saw Nico as very present – his descriptions of the trip
were utterly insightful. He was NOW. Seeing how I perceived this now and reflecting on all the judgment I
had before, I saw my causing all my perception. I project what I believe then point at it to justify my belief in
it.

• This is the exact process that occurs Always.

• Cause and Effect are one.
• Projection and Perception are one

I am not escaping from myself, you’re escaping in yourself.

• All criticism of Huxley’s “Doors of Perception” and drug use is labeled as “escapism.” Thomas
Mann said this directly. It is only a defender of ego who would ever say this. By definition, there is no
thing to escape.
• Only when separation is introduced can a separate, individual entity even question how to escape
itself. The concept of “self” and “escape” are one.
• It is impossible, literally, to “escape” from this concept, only to realize it does not exist.
• Similarly, it is in the intention/belief of the user that we can see this same “self” in need of perceived
escape!
• Thus the issue truly isn’t the drug use, action, or “fear of escaping” at all, it is merely the belief of the
user/doer/person.

The only question one must ask oneself – or the only awareness one need have of oneself – is concerning the
deep sense of ease and joy you have in this moment.

• The projections you manifest are equal in importance. It is what is.

• Only an ego would “question” what is and it’s only an ego that ever does.
 • Its arisal simultaneously gives rise to the system of inner awareness and joy that points beyond it.
• Beginning and End are One.
• Sin and Healing are One.

Entry 43 
I feel the unbelievable PULL to treat everything with Marcie as problematic in countless ways. Does she love
me? Did I hurt her? Is she right? Is she wrong? Am I? What does she think…It goes on literally forever. I
then wake up to remember/See that THERE IS NO CONFLICT. I am happy Now. “Relationships” don’t
exist! Truly, what changed? “Getting together” doesn’t exist. Love requires none of this and, in fact, is
hindered by any of its projection. The simultaneously infinite distance and closeness/oneness of all is Now.
No labels necessary.

Entry 44 
I had food/seasonings in my closet!!

Waking up to see the absurdity of this mindset was one of the most surreal experiences of my life. A slap in
the face of consciousness!

• All they said was, “That’s SO Marcie!”

I can’t say she “pulled me in” as that’s only collapsing her into the ego doing the pulling. We both were pulled
in by ourselves – by our own beliefs and fears about our created selves…egos…illusions! She did nothing nor
did I.

• This is what I saw I could learn through her. What I could Know through her (as there is no thing to
ever learn!)

Entry 45 

Thinking about whether you are escaping implies you already have (within yourself into a perceived
self to escape from).

The belief in escape is the escape.

Entry 46 
With regard to drugs, it is “escape” once it is wanted instead of what is. It is the desire you have now. Huxley
said that if he were to desire his experiences on drugs instead of what is now, then that would be “escape”. But
it’s not escape to have experienced what he did on drugs nor to have wanted to.

• Desire only what is Now.

• This includes the validity of all genuinely arisen desires (traveling, exploring, sharing, experimenting,
creating, enjoying, celebrating, loving….)
 • It is only in distinguishing between genuine, natural desires and the beliefs in defense of a defense
that we must “learn.”

Entry 47 
Freddie looks at my eyes and laughs genuinely, saying “I haven’t seen your eyes that alive in forever!”

• They’re seeing it only from the perspective of my being “pulled in by her,” but this perspective is
equally limited in that it collapses her into the puller.
• Nonetheless, the significance in the shift of my perspective is simply correct of them to notice.

Entry 48 
The world we have created IS the escape. Marcie consistently tried to convince me energetically that in trying
to be completely at peace now, always, that I was escaping from reality into a fantasy. (She, of course, was
only convincing herself – her ego – through me. My response became her justification.)

This is an incredibly subtle process! It is nearly impossible – in fact, it is impossible – to respond to this.

• Perceived from the point of view of the ego, complete happiness IS an escape…but from what?
From the ego itself. Remember, the belief in escape at all can only occur within an ego perceived
capable of escaping. This is true whether perceived in yourself or another. This is how the
unconscious belief in separation and the need to escape are subtlety manifested.
• This is collective in nature as it is at our brothers that we point in order to justify our own fears and
beliefs. If only 1 person holds the Knowledge that peace and love is Now, that no fear or conflict or
escape exists, than no fear or conflict or perceived escape CAN exist. If a brother introduces it, it
cannot, by definition, survive. It is revealed as our own creation, an illusion.
• I have experienced this many times…
• I need only Know it Now.

Entry 49 
Thus my “escape from this world” is both true and false. While false because there can be no escape, it’s true
because we escape from escape…by realizing that we never left, that there is nothing to even escape; we see
we are already there: in Heaven, reached Nirvana, are Happy, achieved Oneness, became Whole, and so on
forever.

• It is this realization/awareness that must be viewed as “escape” by the ego for it is, in fact, the death
of the ego – the realization that it, too, never existed to escape from or rise above.

This cannot be “understood” as it is only an ego that can even “understand.” It is only an ego that would ever
believe it needed to understand anything. This can only be Known as this is what you Are.

Even understanding yourself requires a self and the self doing the understanding. It is subject and object. You
cannot understand yourself, only Know yourself, Be yourself.

Entry 50 
“Understanding,” “Learning” can, by definition, only occur within time and it is only in time that they can be
needed. The belief in time creates the belief in the need for understanding and/or learning and vice versa.
They are One Belief.

• The introduction of the “error” simultaneously introduces the “correction.” Neither “exist” except in
our perception of our creation.
• This world is that perception for us.

This is why the dichotomy is introduced that the world is perfect as it is and needs to change/be escaped
from. I look around at all I see and hear and am both happy and sad; I feel both at peace and in need of
change (escape from or into).

• When I think I see anger in my brother and react to it, I am collapsing my brother into the belief he
has of himself as an ego that can be angry. Knowing there is no conflict between you and your
brother reveals that there is none; it stops any introduced belief in conflict from ever surviving.
• The same is true of the world you think you perceive. The world is in no more need of change than
your brother is! If you “see” a world in need of change, it is only an ego doing the seeing and with
only the purpose of perpetuating its own perceived existence.

How you see the world depends entirely on what you consider “the world” to be.

• You need to attempt to distinguish between the world and that which you’ve made; between reality
and fantasy; between Now and the Escape.
• It will be revealed to you that the world IS what you’ve made; is your creation; your fantasy; your
Escape.
• You point at pain in the world to justify your belief in pain; you point at suffering in the
world to justify your own suffering, and so on.
• You convince yourself of your own unconscious beliefs by pointing at them.
• But the world IS what you believe.

Entry 51 
The only thing in need of change is the belief in the need for change. The only thing you need to learn is that
you need to learn nothing.

• This is extremely collective because if you believe your brother can change or is in need of changing,
then you have introduced the concept of change in yourself, in your perception of what is.

Thinking about change in your brother rests entirely on what you believe your brother to be.

• You must see Yourself in your brother and as your brother. If you do not, then there, by definition,
must be a self that is doing the perceiving of the other.
• This requires separation and is thus the manifestation of the belief in separation.

Entry 52 
Adam Curtis documentaries (The Trap, Century of the Self, The Power of Nightmares, etc.) show the
collective, systemic nature of all this.143 Our unconscious beliefs and assumptions that alter and shape our
entire lives are, themselves, a product of our own systemic beliefs about human nature as manifested in our
systems of economics, governance, distribution of resources, education, health, business, etc. “The Trap”
shows how this happened in healthcare, how it developed within our families, etc. “Century of the Self”
shows this concept of self arose out of Freud, his nephew Bernys, sister Anne, etc. and has been incorporated
into our entire collective view of humanity (and thus the ways such a collective must be governed and/or
controlled).

The Federal Reserve in 1913; advertising built on emotional manipulation and control…

• Just the concepts of “money at interest” and the possibility to “manipulate people and/or the
masses,” when combined, is enough to give rise to all of our notions of “human nature” as selfish,
greedy, or whatever else.

Entry 53 
The entire human struggle, as we know it, has been one for freedom and happiness, nothing more. As we’ve
discovered more and more resources (i.e. as we’ve discovered more of our Self), we’ve grown in our beliefs as
to how happy/fulfilled we can be. With so much to enjoy (foods, lands, beauty, technology…..love, joy, etc.)
look at all I can do!

• But due to the belief that there is not enough for everyone, we’ve continued to fight, compete, steal,
declare possession, defend, and so on.

This is the pillar on which all else rests, and yet even it is, itself, caused by the world we’ve made. At the heart
of all systems of governance, economy, medicine, education, and so on, is the core assumption that there is
not enough now; not enough money, not enough resources, enough happiness, etc. We believe there is not
enough, we believe that our brothers cannot be trusted; so we design systems within which these assumptions
can be handled/controlled. Our educational systems, economic systems, concept of business, political system
– All of it – is build around these vital assumptions.

We then stand back and point at the world – at crime rates, wars, greed, inequality, etc. – as Proof of the fact
that there is not enough and that our brothers cannot be trusted! Do you see the self-initiated and self-
perpetuated nature of all this?

This is what you constantly do with yourself; it is what we did with the Soviet Union; what we are doing with
Terrorism…this is what we all do now, what I do now, in pointing to all of this as proof for our/My
continuing to believe in it.

There IS enough and you can and Must trust your brother.

Entry 54 






























































143

All
his
documentaries
can
be
downloaded
here:

http://isohunt.com/torrent_details/135637837/adam+curtis+collection?tab=summary

Peace and Freedom do not exist except as concepts, except as negative definitions for the absence of conflict
and of constraint. Positive definitions are of Trust and Joy. If there is peace, it is because there is trust. Only
when there is trust will there then be peace. Similarly, if there is freedom, there will be joy. This is what we
freely choose. If we suffer, it is because we were not free (or thought we weren’t) and thus could not choose
better. If we know we can be joyful but are not, how can we be free? Joy is the only choice, thus when we are
joyful, we are free.

Trust and Joy are available Now, and thus so too are Peace and Freedom. Neither depends on any external
change. Both are nothing more than beliefs projected outwards to their creation/manifestation.

Entry 55 
If you continue to want and strive and work for peace and/or freedom, then you will, by definition, continue
to not have them. For in pursuing them, you must believe that they are in need of pursuit; in other words,
you must believe that you do not have them now.

• Knowing you do have them means that you do. But as we said before, these are only negative
definitions. How can you “have” peace or freedom? What would that even look like?
• Thus you know you have them when you are joyful and trusting.
• Trust and love your brother and you will be Joyous. Be Joyous and love and trust of all will flow
naturally.

Entry 56 
If the entire world is our creation and it is through believing in scarcity and separation that we created it, we
must only believe in abundance and oneness in order to create a world of them. How do we create this? By
believing this.

• BE the change you want to see in the world!

It’s important to note that this is all true regardless of what we “believe,” (in this case, as we normally use the
term indicating “intellectual assent to the existence of”). Thus this is more an awareness than a belief. This is
“enlightenment” in that it is turning on the light only to reveal what was there all along. It wasn’t DARK, for
“darkness” does not exist, only the absence of light.

• Thus all our “sins,” “failures,” “mistakes,” and so on do not exist, only the absence of love.

So how do we find peace? Become free? Be forgiven? Reach Heaven?

• By Loving Now.
• Love IS all of these things.

Entry 57 
Watch the video about how to start a movement.144 This is exactly how this can and must be communicated.
You cannot Know this by yourself. The very nature of these truths is collective. Love only exists between two






























































144

View
it
here:
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/derek_sivers_how_to_start_a_movement.html

“separate” things. This is how love is the end of separation for when there is love of all as self, the concept of
individual, independent selves no longer exists. There is only what is, is only Me.

• You will Know all this in sharing it.

• Be the shirtless dancer of love and trust by simply loving and trusting Now.
• Watch as all those you genuinely love and trust begin to love and trust in return.
• Seeing and feeling the effect of all this will be one of the most meaningful and enjoyable experiences
of your life. It is being and creating love, then watching and feeling the effect this has on every
experience you ever have now.

Entry 58 
This is why this must be put into practice in order to be Known. You cannot only think or debate about it.
You must do it.

Two amazingly beautiful additions to all this is that you can do this in any manner you desire whatsoever.
There are an infinite variety of expressions of love and none are better or worse in any degree. You
experience and manifest maximum love at all times, by nature. And secondly, it is in doing so – in having and
sharing this love as best you know and want how – that all will do the same!

We do not need new systems of governance, politics, distribution of resources, etc. We need only to love
now. In loving, these systems will arise on their own as natural expressions of that love. If you seek only to
love as you peacefully want to now, the expression of love your produce will be both exactly what you want
and exactly what is needed.

• Self-interest and collective interest align perfectly in love.

In other words, those who currently know how to distribute resources will want, naturally, to help express
this. Those who don’t won’t. There can be no conflict in how to do this as no one has a self interest – above
another’s – to do it themselves, only to have it done best. All simply want what’s best for all.

As we begin to simply do this, we will see that there is much more than enough of everything: of resources,
of people wanting to help, of those capable of helping, of Love…in all forms!

• But you cannot simply understand this or wait for people to; you must do it now, in whatever
peaceful, effortless way you want.
• Provide resources/ideas for ways to do this: funtheory.com, Ted.com, ways in your family, your
community, ways by yourself, with strangers, with the poor, within your company, if you’re a
celebrity…all the way to globally: forming a planning committee, designing technology,
providing food, water, healthcare to all immediately, designing all new systems, and so on
forever.
• But above all, simply love and do what you will 

Entry 59 
“Love,” too, does not exist except as a concept. This is very important to realize. What does love look like?
How is it felt?
 • The expressions of love are infinite but none encompass it
• It matters not how love is expressed; there are no “degrees” of love.
• It is thus in experiencing love, in manifesting it, that we finally experience Equality.

A millionaire may give money, one with much power may use it lovingly, but there is no qualitative difference
between love of millions and love of one. Feeding one person on the street is just as meaningful in your
experience of love now as is feeding millions.

If someone gives love to millions, is the experience of that love only theirs? Is it not of all the millions too?
And is it not even yours to see and share in and thus experience as well??

• Love cannot be “possessed,” only shared. This is its intrinsic nature and why and how it serves to
bring us together.
• Love is realization of Oneness. Love is Freedom, is Peace, is God, is You.
• Love can only be given to Yourself because it is seeing everything as yourself.
• This is how all expressions of love are equal because all expressions are from you, to you.
• ALL love is everyone’s to share and experience equally.

Entry 60 
Love is the ultimate fuel for the fire of consciousness. It, literally, spreads like wildfire! 1-2-4-8-16-32-64 and
so on! Think back on the deepest experiences of love that you’ve had. All experiences of completely self-less
love are deeply felt and alter the very way we view the world. It gives us hope and faith in the beautiful and
lovely; it makes us dream. Ultimately, it fills us with love that we then naturally desire to share.

• Love is light being introduced to darkness; truth introduced to illusion.

• Love reveals, by nature, that darkness and illusion never existed to overcome.

Entry 61 
All perceived weakness is only misused strength.

• To be wrapped up by your incessant thinking and not being able to practice regular inner stillness is
NOT weakness.
• The entirety of your incessant thinking is YOUR creation.
• You are blocking out nearly all sensory input, inner awareness, creative impulse, etc.
• The fact that you you’ve done this simply demonstrates the Power you have to do so.

Your Mind, YOU, are very powerful and capable of doing anything you want. Due only to your ignorance of
love did you think you wanted to escape, get away, improve, work, change, etc.

• Marcie when unconscious, my mother as a victim, me as a Christian – this degree of unconsciousness

proves our power to create it.
• We can create whatever we believe, whatever we want. All of us are doing this already, now, in this
moment. Look around at your creations. Look within at your creations – your thoughts. These are
your creations, and all you see is their projection into form, their “creation” into “the world.”
Thinking deeply about this – that perceived weakness is actually strength – it dawned on me just how
powerful women are. If I were to say that women are just as powerful as men, that they are completely equal
in every way, this wouldn’t seem far-fetched at all; hopefully, it is obvious. Yet for all men, every single one
(including me), this is extremely difficult to face. Women have complete power over men in countless ways
(What About Me? Video!145 – advertisements, sex appeal, golddigging, in business, relationships,
psychologically, manipulatively – in every way imaginable).

• This is why men have subjugated and oppressed women for nearly all of human history. Men were
strong physically but felt weaker, more vulnerable, had more fear, and thus attacked.
• Women have always known this – and known men could control and hurt them physically – so
they’ve always felt subservient, inferior, and thus have sought approval, love, equality with men.
• Men seek power because they feel powerless. Women seek equality and love because they feel
unequal and unloved.
• One belief by either side begins the entire process, each then “justifiably” pointing at the other to
justify their current beliefs.
• If you seek power, you believe yourself to be powerless.
• If you seek equality, you believe yourself to be unequal.
• If you seek love, you believe yourself to be without love.

Believing even that your brother, lover, or anyone else is seeking these also means you believe they lack it.
This is a very subtle trap door (that I fell through with Marcie!)

• We each looked within at how we felt and pointed at the other to what they lacked.
• I was escaping. She needed to love. But neither was True, only our creation.

I see in her complete Love. I believe she has found this deep within herself and Knows it passionately. But,
she lacks discipline, discernment, maturity, wisdom. In her loving, she perceives that she hurts people. She
perceives that she’s not prepared/ready to love responsibly. This is what she saw and sees in me (my “beauty”
as she calls it): controlled love, directed, passionate, Known Love. She sees my balance, my cautiousness, my
mature handling of love.

• Yet I tell her that she needs to love and she tells me I need to be more cautious. LOL!!!
• It couldn’t be more obvious what’s happening here. We’re arguing with each other about the one
thing both of us Know within ourselves and yet are aware we’ve not been able to manifest yet. This
cuts straight to the core and creates an unwinnable debate by both sides. She’s had inner love but I’ve
had outer. I’ve had discipline and caution but she’s been “lost.”
• All we need do is see the other as ourself!

In believing her to be separate, I treat her without the patience I give myself. She does the exact same with
me (sometimes, it’s even the exact opposite).

• When thoughts arise within me – or emotions – that I know are illusory, that I know I do not want
to think or feel – I acknowledge they have arisen but do not identify with them or treat them
problematically. Yet I do with her. Or, if she doesn’t with herself – if she does identify with them or






























































145

Link

 defend them – I then look at that as a problem and thus identify her with it (with her
defense/identification itself.)

Either of us can start this, but it takes both of us for it to live on. Only one of us need See what is happening
and/or Know love now.

• Knowing this – that either can stop it and that it takes both for it to exist – means there can NEVER
be any assigned blame.
• There is no “starting it” independent of your “reacting to it.”
• The re-action IS its starting.
• Introduced independently, without re-action, merely reveals it as illusory. It cannot exist without your
empowering it.
• Thus it is always mutually started, by definition.

Entry 62 
How can you tell someone it’s an error for them to have believed error existed?

• There is only the belief in error; in sin, in evil, or in whatever else.

• Pointing within or without, at yourself or another, is indifferent.
• In yourself or out, it either exists or does not.
• Either takes belief and belief creates/produces either.

When you attack anyone or anything, you are attacking only yourself.

• In that he/she/it is yourself, and in that the belief that gave rise to the attack is, itself, an attack on
your own mind that produced it.
• ALL attack – mentally or physically – derives from the belief in or feeling of vulnerability, of
destructibility, of your being able to be attacked!
• It is in trying to be invulnerable that we become vulnerable and in becoming
vulnerable that we realize our true invulnerability.xxxv

Entry 63
I suppose it’s obvious why Marcie and I are so intense together. Both of our egos sees in the other the perfect
(and nearly last!) opportunity to subtly continue its existence.

• She knows my pain body is to seek her approval (I just realized I really do do this! Ha!) and I know
she’s still addicted and capable of pulling me in – my ego knows this and thus tricks me into staying
with her when I know I simply need inner space.
• We both, I think, clearly sensed that we needed only to have some time to ourselves to sort things
out. It was our egos – our addictions – that kept us energetically locked and thus feeding each other’s
need for escape into separation.
• We stayed together only to push each other apart. What we needed – and have now – is to be apart
only to allow the pull of love to bring us Together 
• Love is not given, it is shared.xxxvi
 • We both simply tricked ourselves into thinking that we had to give the other the love we
“had.”
• Of course we both have it, the “error” is unconsciously believing the other does not!
• (Believing the other doesn’t have it means we’ve created the very lack we are seeking to
overcome. It means that we believe “lack” to be possible.)

When you perceive weakness in another – or in yourself – Know that it is strength! It merely demonstrates
the power they and/or you have to be able to create such an illusion.

• All that’s needed is awareness of this power, without fear of it.

• Awareness necessitates there be no fear for fear implies ignorance.
• To be aware is to be without fear for it is to become aware that there is nothing to fear.

Entry 64 
Sitting in a café watching countless businessmen shuffle in and out, I see the women and men outside sitting,
selling lottery tickets; the men bringing them coffee on carts they drag around the city; people at fruit stands,
on horses picking up trash…these people do this every day, all day, for their entire lives. They will never have
a nice home, never be able to travel, to have a gourmet meal, enjoy the benefits of technology, and so on.

• On the surface, this is the main justification for our belief in an unjust world, an unfair system,
ultimately, in the need for change. But simply look more closely. Often, if not usually, it is the person
on the street who is happy Now. The business person with the $500 watch, nice car and mansion
works 70 grueling hours a week to afford them. He/She has been divorced twice and feels
unfulfilled. The person on the street is free from nearly all concerns except earning enough money to
eat their next meal.
• Both of these, you see, are equally beneficial and hurtful, both are empowering and diminishing.
• It is not more projection that we need, it is awareness of what we already have, of what we already
Are. All we need (say it with me!) is LOVE.
• If you believe the world to be unjust or unfair, you are empowering the belief in the power of the
world.
• Do not seek equality or fight inequality, see that we are all already Equal.
• Do not seek love, see that we all already have it, Are it.
• Do not view anyone as a victim since doing so requires the belief that they can be victimized. See
them only as what they are: ignorant of Love, of themselves.

In all situations, in every moment, dealing with all perceived “problems” or “errors,” all that needs to be
acknowledged is the perceived lack of love.

• Someone hurt you? It was only because they believed they lacked love. Someone won’t forgive you?
It is only because they believe they lack love. She did this? He said that? They believe this?...all simply
due to the perceived lack of love.
• And all that is required when love is perceived to be in lack is to give it now.
• Show that love does exist now, within you and within them. If they experience it through you, it has
arisen, by definition, within them!
• This literally solves ALL problems by revealing that no problem actually ever existed.
 Entry 65 
Next day (all above written in the afternoon spent at Oma Café)

Shhh…do you hear the fly’s wings flapping? Haba purring? Do you feel your heart pumping blood through
your entire body? Your lungs filling you with oxygen?

• Enter the Zen from there 

Entry 66 
I’ve gone through intense growth dealing with “Marcela.” Jealousy, anger, argument, frustration, uncertainty,
fear, discomfort, abusive thoughts, attack, hurt – it’s truly incredible all I’ve thought and felt just though the
fiction of “us.”

Literally 3 months ago, she was completely entrapped within her own toxic fiction. She affected (and
attempted to lull in) every person she encountered. She had subtly manipulated Nico exactly as her ego willed
it. She played being a victim only so that she could justifiably victimize herself. She even enticed Nico into
playing the role of perpetrator. She “brought out” the worst in him – and did so mixing the perfect amount
of presence and perceived authenticity as to never enable him to have enough confidence to leave without
feeling doubtful, judgmental, and/or guilty. This may be more a description of what I feel she did to me, but
it definitely appears to operate this way.

• She was completely within the grip of this not 3 months ago.

I, on the other hand, have been almost entirely present. Less and less tension survives and all the people I
spend time with have shown drastic influxes of happiness and stillness: Maria, Mom, Fabian, Camilo, David,
Kyle, Joe, Nico, Marcie…everyone notices it and comments on it. I strike up conversations with anyone
about the most intimate issues with complete ease and peace. I have little to no “conflict.” I feel overflowing
with love and with appreciation for the totality of Life and the experience of Now.

Then, we start dating, lol.146

Our relationship began with a miracle, with my healing her. For the first several weeks, my constant effort
and full attention were put into nothing more than my utter presence now, so that when she attacked I would
respond only with love, with inner-silence and peace. I consistently felt a “pull” to respond in any way. It was
so subtle that any response – even energetically – would satiate its need for sheer validation. It was like fire:
only a little fuel and it’d grow and grow; yet without fuel, it’d go out completely.

What I noticed was that it took less and less time to “withstand” the attacks. At first, it could be an hour or
more; then it was 30 minutes, 15, 5, then – and I remember saying this to her – I noticed that soon it
wouldn’t be how long I had to withstand anything, but how long since I had – that a tipping point would be
reached and we’d simply both be here, now, together.






























































146

I
wrote
the
next
day
at
the
top
of
the
page:
And
I
did
all
of
this,
nearly
exactly,
in
all
of
my
former
relationships!

My
pointing
at
it
in
her
is
really
my
pointing
at
myself.
This
is
the
trap
door.
In
2005,
she
was
in
a
field
holding
love,

deeply,
peacefully,
and
simply
unsure
of
how
to
share
it.
And
I
was
doing
everything
as
toxically
as
she
was
3

months
ago.
Neither
is
“responsible.”

All that seems to have happened is I forgot all of this, lol. I did this due to my pain body.

• Opening up to Marcie was extremely meaningful for me. I had truly locked up a large part of the love
I had to give, and I had forgotten I even did it (this, I imagine, is literally what we’ve all done in
countless ways!)
• Really, I allowed myself to just GIVE. This is what she saw and was so amazed at – true, genuine,
self-less-ness. No “me” with any “expectations,” just love to give now.
• Her ability to help me feel this and become aware of this within myself is what my feelings of “love”
for her center on.
• I see this love within her! I feel it. And it makes me want to give it to her, to make her aware of it
within herself!
• Knowing this is within her is the only way I’d ever be able to withstand her egoic attacks. Her ego is
ruthless and knows exactly what sto say, do and feel to get you to re-act/attack.
• But I Know this love within me and her so I simply hold that knowledge. Everything else, in my
holding it, just fades away.

AND YET, the current situation is one – in a truly uncanny, unbelievable way – that is my EXACT
painbody. She is manipulatable (like my Mom), she has a past with someone I fear she may still like/have a
connection with (exactly as happened in 3 of my most serious relationships, even as recently as with Katie in
2005).

• This person happens to be Nico, my best friend who I also have a very strong connection with and
who has some connection with Marcie that he refuses to face.
• I’m then forced to watch them energetically act this all out, right in front of me, and in a language
they both know I can’t understand perfectly and thus use manipulatively and openly.
• This all occurs triggering a pain body whose strength and significance I had completely forgotten of
that I must then observe so as to not get caught up in. I must to do this while having this be between
my lover and best friend, both of whom are, literally, the most intense, energetically powerful people
I’ve ever encountered (including Marcie whose attacks I could barely withstand not 3 months ago).
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhhhaaaaa!!
• Oh, and she basically forces me to quit pot by energetically judging me every time I use it or mention
it, lol.
• Fast-forward a month and a half and I’m not even talking with Nico, the apartment is utterly toxic,
she and I argue and become petty together, both of us complain of being tense and “needing a
break.” Ha, then we “break up.”
• Lol! What a great story! 

I do to her exactly what I’m trying to tell her not to do. I think/say that she’s being judgmental, she’s being
ruthless, needs to simply love, be here and now, etc. But I “wake up” to see that I’m very judgmental of her. I
push her away and am not simply open and honest about how I feel. I fear losing her. I feel jealous. These
feelings pull me in and make me afraid. In this state, I’m very “on edge” and, I’m sure, invite many types on
conflict – energetically and otherwise.

• From her point of view, Kevin goes from being present, calm, and giving, to being tense, spiteful,
judgmental, etc. She, perfectly reasonably, could attribute this to “my” drug use or “my” pain body,
thus enabling her to project this as “mine” and not “her” issue. “She” then points at “me.”
 • This all forms a perpetual, mutually-energized cycle of both pulling each other in to
believing the other is pulling them in. It’s crazy. Literally, lol.
• And from my viewpoint, it’s all because I’m afraid to tell her how amazing she is, how beautiful I
find her to be in every way! I feel so open and real when I look deep into her eyes. I, in a way even I
don’t want to face and cannot understand, feel as if you complete me. I feel myself when with you.
• This is how I feel. This speaks nothing about what connection is, in fact, present between us. It does
not say you must feel any way at all towards me in order to validate what only I am feeling. This is
how I feel.
• Facing this truth, let alone saying it out-loud, is in a very silly way, really causing me MUCH fear. My
painbody is activated forcing me to close off this love I have and have activated/become aware of
within myself.
• Yet it is my painbody telling me to close off. It is completely controlled by fear of what could or
might happen if I’m simply honest about this.
• Deep down, the painbody is simply a manifestation of the ego, of my own belief about what I am. I
believe I am destructible, vulnerable, at risk of being attacked at all times (including energetically!),
and thus I must “close off” or else “I” will be vulnerable!
• Well, what “I” is in danger? What “I” is being defended? Protected?
• I also must believe “her” to be all of these things also. “She” must be separate from me so that “I”
can even be seeing them in “her.” How could I lose “her”??? She is these things, she need not be
“mine” for me to feel them within myself. I see love in her, LOVE. But do I lack it myself?  Do I
need it? 
• SHARE IT! 

Entry 67 
“Jealousy,” “guilt,” all typical relationship feelings will, of course, still “arise.” These are not you. These are an
energetic ripple from your former belief about your self. They are your connection with all the rest of yourself
you see and engage with (all other humans, especially).

• This will be a part of your present (as experiences/energetic ripples of the past) so long as it is in
anyone else’s present, now, contributing energetically to the belief in this past. You are free only
when all are free. Because You are All.

Your experience of these – what you might now call “suffering” or “ego” – will not change, only your
awareness of what these experiences mean and point to.

• If “you,” these things make “you” happy one day and “you” sad the next. Up and down, good and
bad, a perpetual dance.
• But if pointers that are listened to, “you” are always at peace, and simply listening and loving and
healing 

Entry 68 
If you believe you have a problem, it is a problem for the other. If you believe the other has a problem, it is
you how has the problem.

Everyone simply needs to Know: “I do not have a problem” AND “they don’t have a problem.”
• Then see it is only I and that I am Perfect.

Entry 69 
I know it’s completely lame, but this is officially my song for Marcie:
En el mundo hay gente bruta y astuta,
hay vírgenes y prostitutas,
ricos pobres clase media,
cosas bonitas y un par de tragedias,

Hay personas gordas medianas y flacas,

caballos, gallinas, ovejas y vacas,
hay muchos animales con mucha gente,
personas cuerdas y locos de mente.

En el mundo hay mentiras y falsedades,

hechos, verdades y casualidades,
hay mentalidades horizontales,
verticales y diagonales.

Derrotas y fracasos accidentales,

medallas, trofeos y copas mundiales,
en el mundo hay vitaminas y proteínas,
marihuana, éxtasis y cocaína.

Hay arboles, ramas, hojas y flores,

hay muchas montañas de colores,
en el mundo hay decisiones divididas,
entradas, salidas, debut, despedidas,

Hay inocentes, hay homicidas,

hay muchas bocas, y poca comida,
hay gobernantes y presidentes,
hay agua fría y agua caliente.

En el mundo hay micrófonos,

y altoparlantes,
hay seis mil millones de habitantes,
hay gente ordinaria y gente elegante,
pero pero pero...

No hay nadie como tu,

no hay nadie como tu mi amor,
no hay nadie como tu.
no hay nadie como tu,
no hay nadie como tu mi amor,
no hay nadie como tu.

En el mundo siempre se mueve la tierra,

hay tanques de oxigeno y tanques de guerra,
si el sol y la luna nos dan energía,
se duerme de noche, y se vive de día.

Hay gente que rectifica lo que dice,

hay mucha gente que se contradice,
hay algarrobas y algas marinas,
hay vegetarianos y carnicerías.

Hay tragos amargos y golosinas,

hay enfermedades y medicinas,
hay bolsillos llenos, carteras vacías,
hay mas ladrones que policías.
 Hay religiones, hay ateísmo,
hay capitalismo, y comunismo,
aunque nos parecemos no somos los mismos,
porque porque...

no hay nadie como tu

no hay nadie como tu mi amor
no hay nadie como tu
como tu
no hay nadie como tu
no hay nadie como tu mi amor
no hay nadie como tu
como tu

En el mundo existen muy buenas ideas,

hay don quijotes y dulcineas,
hay sexo en el baño, sexo en la cama,
sexo sin ropa, sexo en piyama.

Hay cosas reales y melodramas,

hay laberintos y crucigramas,
hay chiste en llamadas que nadie contesta,
hay muchas preguntas y pocas respuestas.

Hay gente valiente, gente con miedo,

gente que el mundo no le importa un bledo,
gente parada, gente sentada,
gente soñando y gente despertando.

Hay gente que nace, gente que muere,

hay gente que odia, y gente que quiere,
en este mundo hay mucha gente
pero pero pero....

No hay nadie como tu,

no hay nadie como tu mi amor,
no hay nadie como tu...


Entry 70 
You are completely Powerful in that anything you believe, you create. Ironically, this includes when you
believe “yourself” to be power-less. THAT is how powerful your beliefs, and You, really are.

• It is the completely Powerful who render themselves completely powerless.

Entry 71 
Your role in the atonement is accepting the atonement for yourself – CIM

• Your role in changing the world is changing yourself.

• Your role in forgiving the world is forgiving yourself.
• Your role in loving the world is loving yourself.

How do you teach people? Show people? “Convince” people? Love people?

• By Knowing Now.
• By Loving Now.
• No more will ever or could ever be required.
Knowing this means knowing your True Power, which is precisely why it “scares” you (and thus why we’ve
never faced it!)

• For You, this is Heaven.

• But for “you,” the you believe yourself to be – the ego – it is death.
• It is facing your true power, it is facing your illusions, your creations, it is facing who you really are.

ARE YOU READY? 

Entry 72 

I’M GROWING!!!

Entry 73 
The beauty of this lies in that in order to grow, you must believe yourself to be capable of growth. While we
know we are eternal, God, all-powerful, etc., we must now Know it, or else growth would be impossible.

When it comes, therefore, to our ability to simply recognize the truth, to recognize what is, well, we obviously
have chosen to see illusion over truth, fantasy over reality.

• We need only know that we don’t know.

• We need only recognize our failure to recognize.
• In this perceived “humility,” you are actually becoming stronger.
• In this perceived loss of self, you are actually finding yourself.
• In this perceived vulnerability, you are actually realizing your true invulnerability.

Entry 74 
Think, Know, that we are One, that “you” do not exist, that You Are Everything.

• “You” need only believe that by thinking differently, you cannot be hurt; that by thinking any thing,
now, that “you” cannot be hurt.
• This is clearly true.
• So….Believe, Now, that we are One.
• This cannot be explained, this cannot be “discussed,” it cannot be “understood.”
• It, by definition, must be Experienced.

Know that thinking, thereby believing, thereby Experiencing any thing differently (any experience of this
moment that you have differently) cannot hurt you or change you, cannot change “what” or “who” “you”
are.
Then, See my state of Being when I Believe and Know that we are One. See and Feel my lack of conflict and
Presence of Love. See my Happiness, my Peace, my Joy. And See this exact same Being in all your Brothers
who believe this too.

• Given what you see in me and in your brothers…

• Given that you must only think differently…
• Given that by thinking differently, you cannot be hurt or changed…
• And given that I am only asking you to think differently, that this is all you must do to Experience
this, Know this…
• Given all this…what could there ever be to Fear?
• What reason could you possibly have not to think this?
• And when this and only this is thought, is Known, what could there possibly be to fear from your
Brothers?
• Even if they are violent, even if they could hurt “your” body, what pain is this (to your body) in
comparison to the pain you feel by denying your true power, their true power, by denying what you
really are?
• The pain of denying what You Are, of denying Yourself, denying Love, denying Oneness…is
infinitely more painful than any possible pain “your” body would ever be capable of feeling.
• Even that your “body” exists IS a manifestation of this denial, for when you believe yourself to be
separate, you “are” separate! This is the only reason the body even exists.
• It, as all suffering, simply points beyond itself to the Truth that even it never actually Existed.

“The world” is your creation. It was “made” by you due to the belief in separation and need/lack. The world
and everything in it – including “you” – is simply what you’ve created.

• To me: I keep trying to Know this in my daily experience of Now. I keep trying to simply hold it in
my Awareness of this moment, Now. This is the trap. This requires there to be a “me” to hold it, to
be “aware” of it. I don’t need to “know” it, I need to Be it. Be One. Ha!! 
• Don’t see “the other” in any form – plant, animal, the Sun, the stars, the trees, the President, the
ocean, the USA, or any other person, place or thing! See Yourself. Know Thyself. Be Thyself.

Entry 75 
You can only be or not be what you, in fact, Are. In this respect, there are literally only two options and one
choice. You choose only to be what you Are, or to create/believe otherwise. This is why content is irrelevant
and why there are no degrees at all: no degree of difficulty, no degree of badness (of evil), of error, of sin…

• Because none actually exist!

• They are all illusory, all your creation, all your “belief.”
• And this is where it all comes around!
• If this is ALL your belief – all only what you’ve thought – and you know that thinking differently
cannot hurt or change you….have you been hurt or changed by any of this?
• The world, your past, all “sin,” all you’ve ever known or believed or felt or experienced….has not
hurt you and has not changed you.
• YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE.
• I AM I AM.
This is why Know Thyself is the only lesson and the only curriculum.

• If you Know Yourself, you are at Peace, One, you Love all as Yourself because you Are all and you
Love Yourself.
• Thus “if you know yourself” and “if you love yourself” are One in the same. Knowing Yourself is
Loving Yourself. And Loving Yourself is Knowing Yourself.

You only have two options: Knowing Yourself and not Knowing Yourself. Loving Yourself and not Loving
Yourself. Choose one and you are at Peace, choose the other and you will “suffer.”

• If you ever suffer, you have chosen wrongly. And all you need do to not suffer is to change your
thinking, change your belief. All you need do is treat All as You.
• Please understand: this means you must, by definition, extend this, you must share it, you must
Experience it with everyone and everything you encounter. Simply Love All Now.

This is how ALL problems and ALL suffering derives from the “perceived lack of love,” from the “belief in
the lack of love,” Now.

• In yourself or in the other is no different.

• Love = Belief in All as One, thus there is no “other” for it to be lacking in.
• Whatever “the other” does, says, or believes only exists in your perception of it.
• You can understand it in the context of Love existing or of Love not existing.
• Love either exists or does not, there are no “degrees” of existence.
• Thus Choose to Believe and Know and Love Yourself Now!
• Then see what happens…

Entry 76 
Rally to Restore Sanity Thoughts (10/30/2010)

• Two sides of covering a story – shows the absurdity of “news” coverage.

• Ozzy Osbourne and Yousef (Cat Stevens) – I liked this but it could have been SO much better.
• Mythbusters wave and sounds and jumping experiments – instead, do some REALLY AWESOME
STUFF! Get TED type displays and show people some frickin incredible things they can do.
• The whole rally is still entirely “North American” – very odd. Imagine a rally showing the fiction of
all countries and all labels, really!
• Get real people to talk on stage in front of thousands – showing “nervousness” and sincerity is good,
not “un-professional.” People listen to this, to authenticity, to their self!
• Give TED-like forum (2, 5, 10 minute timeslots) between performances.
• Have “idea section” on FYTY – have people plan and coordinate their own rallies!
• Start rallies with music videos and recordings – have lyrics at the bottom so that all can sing along –
What About Me videos!!
• Include commentary/narrative tying everything together.
• We can start this way – Free but small – and grow/emerge as we want. Eventually, “celebrities” will
start performing live, and so on.
• Acknowledge – SHOW – our current state – of water, energy, poverty, hunger, etc. – in the US and
in the world – nothing to illicit guilt, just the truth.
 • Be Here Now.
• Imagine, Dream, Change, Love, - think about this more but divide into sections showing what’s now,
what’s possible (TED, Venus Project, What About Me, etc.) then show the Power of Love Now
(Funtheory.com, TED, etc) and then Imagine a new way of thinking about yourself, about each
other, and about the world.
• Old and young, citizen and non-citizen, gay and straight, Christian and non-Christian, religious and
non-religious, and so on forever…..ALL HUMANS! All alive, all breathing, feeling, capable of love
and hurt and infinite potentiality, etc.
• Jackass, Mythbusters, Bono, Tolle, Carlin, even Bush, Bin Laden (wow), etc….connect us all and
SHOW that what’s best for me is best for you and vice versa. Let go of labels, embrace your brother!
• Marce: “They’re all observing, not participating.” Great point!! You could even have the rally
unplanned and created by the people! At least have portions of it like this!
• Use Daily Show clips to show the absurdity of “news” and “politics” – then couple this with TED to
show what is possible!
• Have ALL of this on FYTY and allow the program to Emerge online, then show this all in public for
free 
• The news clips they showed were great, I just wish they showed more.
• Just finished watching the rally, and overall I m really disappointed. It was very commercialized, not
sincere, too American. Jon’s final speech was sincere and good, but short – they could and should have
invited guests from all backgrounds – entertainers, authors, politicians – all their guests! – to talk
from their hearts, openly, about the absurdity of our system and the reasons to join together and love
now. I think the problem/difficulty is simply not knowing how to improve things – there’s no
direction, no justified hope – nothing to pull people’s hearts and instill passion!...
• But this CAN BE DONE!! 
• Let’s start doing these live, online so that people can join together simultaneously – all over the world
– we could do it once a month/week/whatever, but do it! Start small and let it Emerge 
• Marce: “Don’t have 1 stage, have multiple!” We could have a TED section, a Dance/Celebration
section, a Relax/Reflection section, a Venus Project/Imagine section, a Daily Show/Absurdity
section, an IDEA section (for this rally, for future rallies, for the world, for everything!), the list is
endless. Lets do what we WANT!147

Entry 77 
Watching “Super High Me” when the DEA agents raid medical marijuana dispensaries in California – seeing
all the protestors – I realize that by protesting, you must believe it in need of protesting.

• This is how the ego is unconsciously perpetuated.

• It is the ego that says there must not be ego!
• It is the protestors that assert the very power they’re seeking to end.
• Marijuana is one of an infinite variety of examples that point to the absurdity of “the system.”
• This includes ALL environmentalists, human rights activists, freedom of speech activists, whatever
activists…those fighting poverty, homelessness, AIDS, genocide, apartheid, racism, sexism, sexual






























































147

Having
since
watched
Woodstock,
that
was
it
baby!
We
need
to
do
these
all
over
the
frickin
world,
completely

free,
and
planned
by
us!

 preference, reproductive rights…all the way to those involved in politics, janitors, teachers, and so on
forever.

In these examples, we see, we Know, that something must change. We’ve listened but not heard. It is not any
thing external that must change. What is external merely reflects your Beliefs. By protesting, by pointing at,
even by trying to “understand,” we’ve asserted the Belief that something needs to be understood, needs to be
changed, that LOVE IS LACKING NOW.

I’m quite high so this jumps around a lot, but this contains many important seeds of thought to consider
later, haha!!

• I just said to reconsider in the future “seeds of thought” that point to the realization that the future
doesn’t exist and there is nothing to ever “understand” or “change.” LOL!!!!!

Where I started with all this was realizing that by even asking the question of whether weed is “bad” means
I’ve believed “bad” possible! My “suffering” only points to this, nothing more.

• …not that weed isn’t bad, but that NO THING IS.

• My relief is only temporary when I smoke “freely,” believing it’s okay to do so, because my listening
was only temporary.

Marce brings all this “out” of me because it’s all there to be brought out. In other words, she serves – on an
almost constant basis – to manifest those beliefs I haven’t yet fully faced in myself.

• I – on an almost constant basis – find myself pointing at her (in my thoughts of these situations).
• I think about what “she has misjudged” or how “she’s incorrect” about this or that.
• This is “good” when I do it peacefully and lovingly, but in the service of the ego whenever I feel
guilty or suffer in any way.
• She is my ultimate prototype for understanding myself.
• I see myself in her – see my own beliefs manifested in her, through her.
• If we fight, I’m fighting with myself.
• If I’m angry or disappointed or frustrated or whatever else at her, I am angry or disappointed or
frustrated or whatever else at myself.
• There is no “self” to have these feelings about. And there is no reason to ever feel these things. It is
all pointing beyond itself to Truth: that there is nothing to fear, Heaven is Now. You Are Free.

Entry 78 
My hesitation to “start” any website, book, project, or whatever else stems from these realizations. Nothing
needs to change so how could I ever “start” anything with this goal? This is what I’ve thought and why I’ve
attempted to “balance” the peace of Now and my genuine desire of change. This is the trap. Do what brings
you joy now. There is no “goal” in this, no means to an end. Talk openly. BE Open. Honest. Unfiltered.

I love when I “wake up” to realize what is so obvious, lol. It’s so liberatingly disorientating. It’s feeling like
you’re falling only to realize you’ve never moved; waking up to realize you never actually slept. Ha! 

Entry 79 
Every other teaching, religion, philosophy, or whatever else has always been exclusive, separate – it’s been an
“it” to agree with or disagree with. Some have understood it, other’s haven’t (they’ve “disagreed”)….

• Except when the teaching IS that you understand it, ARE it.
• You are me and I am you. Simple.
• This is a shared experience, not a separate one.
• “You” cannot therefore understand this or try to share it or teach it or whatever else because there is
no separate “you” to even “do” these things.
• Know it.
• Know Thyself.

Entry 80 
Interactive Concerts!!!! Think guitar hero and Dance Dance Revolution and all those in a collective whole!
Check out the Oprah/BEP video148, this but even better!

• Use this to demonstrate the Experience of moving together, enjoying together, helping each other to
help ourselves, helping ourselves to help each other, One.
• Do this to the entire “Dance” album149, start to finish, just like my vision. This could be surrounded
outside or in a 360 degree dome (Dallas?), but it has to be equal for all, by design.
• SHOW this and involve them in its celebration 
• Show Me!
• Show that by giving to others, I am receiving!

Entry 81 
Rethink how you think about “growth” and “change.” If we imagine how the world is changing and will
continue to change, we need to abandon all concepts of “time.”

• Look at technology: 1 byte, 10 bytes, 10,000 bytes, 1 million (megabyte), 10 million, 100, 1 billion and
so on.
• Everything is nearly obsolete immediately after being “invented.”
• This is how ideas are “growing,” are “changing.”
• The goal is not ownership, or thinking of it first, it is always being ready for the next idea. There’s no
time to even think like that anymore.
• So lets change our goal to: What’s best for everyone equally?
• The only possible reason NOT to give all your ideas freely is fear of not making enough money – of
not having enough. All that needs to change is our collective awareness of what we can do together.
No “collapses” are necessary in government or economics or anything. We can simply join together
and offer all ideas as collectively owned and collectively beneficial.
• As soon as we believe it is possible, it is possible.

What’s really crazy about our current concept of “ideas” is the series of hoops and ladders we all believe we
must go through to implement them.






























































148

Link.

149

Maxi
Jazz!!!

 • How do I fund it? How do I afford to give it my time? Who do I tell it to? How do I know if
someone’s already thought of it? How do I share it? How do I help people with it? How do I
improve things with it? How do I make something easier? How do I make a difference?
• RECEIVE BY GIVING!!!
• It is no longer needed to use “money” to implement our collective human knowledge and creativity.
• We simply have to share it.
• Open Source – Open Life!

From you, to you is the recognition that everything IS from you to you. Ideas cannot be owned, they are
received and given simultaneously.

Entry 82 
“Futuretainment: Yesterday the world changed, Now it’s your Turn!” by Mike Walsh, Phaidon publishing.
GET THIS!!!

A Revolution: The Digital Age – This is exactly what I talk about. The “naturals” make up a third of the
entire human population. Who are they? Those under 15 years old. Make it under 29 and that’s 3.5 billion,
more than half of the entire world.

• To these people, concepts such as “copyright” are meaningless. They do not want to change the
world, they’ve simply never known a different one!
• Access to all human knowledge. Giving is receiving. All is shared because all benefit. This is Natural.
• Broadcast vs. Audience network (Show graphic here!!)

The revolution is not in advancing technology – we use MP3s and watch iPhones instead of those 10 times
more technologically advanced. The new age is in accessibility, mobility, and user-generated networkability.

• The revolution is YOU….access to You and in changing You. This IS the internet – our Network –
our Central Nervous System.

The Factory (Product-based entertainment) vs. The Audience (Information/Access-based entertainment)

• The legal system is the first friction point between existing traditions and the cutting edge.
• Napster, bit-torrent sites, “pirating,” etc. are nothing more than ordinary people seeking new ways in
which to consume entertainment.
• There is no point in fighting the future. People will have and/or get access, despite whose “power” it
undermines or “laws” it breaks.

Seven bridges of Konigsberg – creation of graph theory

• Everyone in an Audience Network is connected to everyone else – we are ALL connected!!

• Netscape was released October 14, 1994.
• Before this, the web did not exist! Think about that!
• And even now, it is growing at this same rate of infinite growth. Just a few years ago it was “logging”
on or off with dial-up, but what if there is no off switch? With wifi (wow, think about it!), and so on,
you Are always connected!
This is all a threat (and illegal) to how it’s been and to whom it’s “benefited,” and yet this is best for ALL of
us, these people included. We are smarter together!!

• “You see children playing. I see future soldiers of the revolution.” – lol!
• This – very literally – gives the power to the people because one person is connected to all others.
• The importance of this cannot be overstated. 1 person can literally change the world. WE ALL
CAN.
• Not like a broadcast network (you to the world), but in an audience network of the world! (show
pictures).150

This is NOW, not in the future. You ARE connected in this way to the entire world!

• I – Kevin – cannot change the world nor can any one person any more. Because we’re all connected,
there’s simply too much access to other ideas and alternatives to ever have a monopoly on Truth. It’s
simply impossible anymore.
• But You – whoever you are and wherever you are, etc. – have the power in your network to change
whatever you want. And since your network is connected to my network and so on, we can all
change whatever we want together!

Life = Change, so it is not changing to this or into that, it’s a new age OF change.

• This is vital to truly understand. We are not replacing any thing with any thing else, we are simply
acknowledging and embracing that change is constant.
• And, in addition, that change is much more enjoyable when embraced rather than resisted, lol!

“Your only power is knowing you now have none.” – Part 3, lol!

• So yea, it’s not that you have power, but that you don’t – or, to say it differently – that we’re all
Equal!
• It’s not 1,2,3 and so on, but 1,2,4,8,16 to infinity – this is how “content” changes now.
• “The future of entertainment is not advertising, the future of advertising is entertainment!”
• This is why I think of ad campaigns, lol 
• Advertising will become the content.
• Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity.

The future is all about ideas. Actually, all existence has been one of ideas. Democracy is simply an idea. All
laws are ideas. Contracts are ideas. Money…only an idea. That ideas govern the world has not changed, what
has is the distribution of and access to those ideas.

• Wars, politics, crime, religion, etc. – all fights over ideas, nothing more.
• TED IS this, ideas worth spreading, free to the world.
• Well, what about the idea that we are all equal; that the resources of this planet are equally ours; and
that the chief human concern need only be what is best for every single one of us now, equally.
• THIS idea needs to BE the new entertainment. Exploring this, sharing this, discussing this,
CREATING this, IS the new entertainment.
• These are my ad campaigns, interactive concerts, movies, music videos, all my visions, etc.





























































150

Show
pictures.

Homelessness, poverty, disease…these are merely the result of ideas. Depression, all human suffering…only
the result of our not embracing the change of these ideas.

• “The world” is merely the external representation of the inner beliefs/ideas of the network that
projects it.
• This is what we call “evolution” – the growth and connection of “separate” networks into a similarly
growing and changing “organism.”
• 1 cell becomes 2, becomes 4…all the way to the human being, billions upon billions of
interconnected, separate organisms (liver, lungs, heart, brain, toenails, etc.) combining to form the
“higher” functioning of the overall organism.
• The internet is the Central Nervous System connecting us all into an interdependent, collective
whole. WE ARE ONE…in that we are all connected, “separate” organisms growing and connecting
to serve the “higher” functioning of Planet Earth.

Anyone reading who understands this, it’s not about changing the world or changing yourself, it’s that
changing the world IS changing yourself and changing yourself IS changing the world.

• It is only because we’ve continued to make this distinction that neither us nor the world has changed.
• So don’t ask yourself how his change will occur, simple BE a part of it.
• Outer and Inner are One.
• You do whatever you WANT, and within your network!
• Speak to no one else you otherwise wouldn’t. Do the same “things” you’ve been doing….or don’t,
lol.
• Do simply what brings you the most peaceful, natural sense of Joy you can imagine.
• Share. Laugh. Create. Be. 

You’ll know what this is by asking what makes you get excited like a kid.

• This is truly, very easily how you can figure out what it is you “should” do….Simply ask yourself,
genuinely, without any judgment, what makes you get excited like a kid! No “reason,” no
justification, just natural, unfiltered joy.
• Obviously for me, it has been this…writing this, experiencing this – all born out of traveling, not
going to law school, volunteering, etc. – all out of genuinely doing what I wanted to do!
• Asking if I “should” have done these things is silly. Asking if I could have done “better” is silly.
These were what I wanted to do, beyond reason, beyond justification. Traveling, volunteering,
learning Spanish, these were what made me get excited like a kid! And it is out of these experiences,
out of my doing what I genuinely Wanted, that I learned how to experience more of it.
• For many of you, it is the redesign of our culture, the education system, the technological advances
and ways to shares this, it is advertising this (or giving ad time for this, lol), it is writing, traveling,
giving, celebrating (in concerts! rallies!), and so on forever.
• And ALL of it is available for Free at FYTY!
• We can share this journey, share our excitement, share our Giving (and thus our Receiving!).
• And we can do it Together. Equal. Now. 

Entry 83 
Inner protest
 • Just as by protesting anything in the world, you are empowering it, so too is this true if you protest
inwardly any feeling or thought at all. This is what you feel. This thought occurred in your mind. It is
what is. Listen.
• There can be no protest, ever.

Entry 84 
1) There is nothing to fear.
2) You are me and I am you. We have no separate existence. Our existence, by nature, is shared.
3) Suffering does not exist. What you call “suffering” is but you telling yourself to listen and change.
Truly listening IS changing.
4) Sin does not exist, only the perceived lack of love.
5) The only way to “solve” or “help” in a perceived lack of love is By Loving Now.
6) You Are Love, thus to Know Yourself is simply to Give Love. This is giving of yourself unto
yourself. It is this and only this that is Love.
7) Nothing is “owned.” All is from you, to you. Its best use is Always its best use for all. “Self” interest
does not Exist.
8) You are here to Blossom. You are here to do nothing more than experience deep bliss, peace,
excitement, joy, love…and then, by nature, to share this experience with the totality of Existence.
Ultimately, You Are the Totality of Existence.
9) Look up.
10) Look within.
11) Know these Infinities as One. Outer IS Inner. And Inner IS Outer.
12) Know Infinity. Know You Are Infinity. Know Thyself.

Entry 85 
You have learned from personal experience that “suffering,” “sin,” “pain,” “right/wrong,” “good/evil,” and
so on do not Exist. They can be perceived, but not Known. They are projection of belief, nothing more.

• You see what you believe you can see. Think about it. Can you see what you believe to be
impossible? This, by definition, cannot occur.

Thus, what you see is simply what you believe projected outwards. Change what you believe and what you see
changes.

• It is in thinking the opposite – that what we see determines what we believe – that nothing can ever
change. How could it if we have misidentified its cause? If, even more, we have categorized it –
unconsciously – as a cause itself, rather than an effect.
• What you see is caused by what you believe.
• All outward events – ALL OF THEM – have an infinite number of interpretations. Every thing is
“good” in countless ways and “bad” in countless others.
• This is always true simply because there are always countless beliefs built into their projection into
existence in the first place.
• What you see is the shared projection of all human beings in existence. ALL business, politics,
religion, philosophy, economics, moral values, concepts of society, of relationships, of human nature,
of time, of cause and effect…EVERYTHING.
 • This includes where you believe yourself to be, when you believe yourself to be, what you believe
yourself to be; this includes all things you believe possible and, more importantly, impossible (such as
travel through “space” and “time,” all concepts of “miracles,” of “death,” of “sickness,”
ANYTHING).
• This is ALL mere projection. It is the collective view of “the world.”
• Differing points of view exist everywhere in everyone. Those that are too extreme and that threaten
our sense of reality are categorized as “abnormal” and medicated or even removed from society.
• SO….what do you see? What is the world to you? What do you believe yourself to be? Do you
believe Joy is possible now? Do you believe “evil” Exists?
• These are the questions you are here to Answer. Everything, every institution, every evil act or deed
in all of human history – from Jesus to the Holocaust to what your friend did yesterday – is but the
projection of beliefs at that time. What do you see Now? What do you believe Now? How do you
choose to interpret these events? What do you feel Now?

Entry 86 
Believing the world needs to change is just like protesting Coca-cola or abortion, etc. The very act of protest
proves you believe in the power of what you’re protesting/attempting to change.

• The same is true about all beliefs of “the world.”

• ALL of these are conditioned, collective projections, nothing more.

Entry 87 
What we’ve done is put ourselves in an impossibly difficult situation: we’ve placed into conflict our “desires”
of individual/self interest with our natural, collective interest.

• Giving to the poor vs. Securing the financial future of your family.
• Taking the time for a vacation vs. Volunteering.
• Trusting and being completely vulnerable to everyone at all times vs. Being smart, cautious,
protective, having common sense, etc.
• These – and many more – are all perfectly justified conceptually!
• Yet these, too, are mere systemic projections we all point at to justify our unconscious beliefs.

ALL of this is the projection of the belief in scarcity, in Hell, in separation.

• The world is merely a reflection of what we all believe, so you tell me: Given what we all believe
about the world and each other, are we not living in Hell?
• This “Hell,” this “world,” cannot, by definition, be “overcome” or “changed.”
• Believing it must be is giving it power it doesn’t have. It is, in fact, creating it.

Entry 88 
Here’s the thing: you have SO much to give! It’s just that you don’t Know it yet, is all 

• You want to give so much! In fact, it’s because you think you can’t give or have nothing to give that
you suffer in the first place at all.
 • Your natural state, your heaven, nirvana, state of peace, etc…is one of continual Giving.
• This is the Now of God of which You Are a Part.
• As Part, You Are Whole.
• But…when you think about giving, you think along antiquated paradigms: of giving money, or
“time,” or physical goods, of “making a difference,” etc.
• Don’t you see that ALL of these are manifestations of ego; they are ILLUSIONS, so these do not
need to change (or be made “amends” for – Guilt), they simply need to be recognized for what they
are: distractions…from facing the Truth, from facing your true power and magnificence and Beauty,
from facing Yourself, from facing God.
• But remember: There is nothing to Fear. Ever.
• This is lesson #1 for a reason! You have countless fears that drive your entire sense of reality in every
way imaginable; yet you have never faced this!
• What’s there to fear in the first place? What is there to fear NOW?

Thus Know Yourself. Now. Know there is nothing to Fear. Face Yourself. See Your Pain. Your Guilt. Your
Love. See Yourself. And Know the Cause of it All.

• See the ego for what it is: “you” born out of fear.
• Fear = the ego.
• Letting go of fear = Letting go of ego.

Seeing can lead to letting go and/or letting go can lead to seeing.

• These are One Act. The distinction is only in our perception.

• What you see is that to give is simply to love.
• To love is to give.
• To whom? To what? To Yourself!
• Giving to “another” is giving unto yourself because of the Joy the act of giving gives you.
• This is fundamental to realize. It is utterly profound and yet entirely obvious: What you seek is what
you believe you lack: Love.
• You Are Love.
• You need no “thing.” You need only love, now.

Here what you consider “love” to be is essential to examine and know.

• Love does not equal the giving of “time” or “money” or any “thing.”
• Love is giving whatever it is you have to give; whatever you Want to give.
• This is the purest, simplest joy you experience when doing, thinking, creating, teaching, sharing, or
whatever else of X.
• It literally matters not what “X” is.
• Love is infinite in its expressions so believe me that you have infinity to choose from when sharing it!

• You can give this, whatever “this” is for you….Now.
 • Nothing needs to “change” in order for you to give this.
• Letting go is Seeing and Seeing is Letting go. You will need to do both and yet both of these is giving
this and giving this is both of these.
• Don’t you see how simple this is?
• Love is Infinite: infinitely available, infinitely abundant, and infinite in its expressions.
• This infinity is available NOW.

This is All Yours to GIVE!!

• This is what you have to Give.

• It is yours to give simply by Knowing it is True for You.
• Let this Knowledge be what governs your perception of reality.
• There is this perspective and there is the perspective of the ego which you’ve seen through your
entire life.
• You are always choosing Now.
• What you choose determines what you see.

So what “world” do you see now? Are you at peace now? Are you giving love now? Do you Know Yourself
Now? These are all the same question!

This is all from you, to you. What you give, you receive. So what are you receiving now? What are you giving
now?

Entry 89 
Personal Notes from Thanksgiving Dinner with Camilo and Ana

Quick reminders:

• There is no us, only what’s above your legs (inside joke)

• Change your concept of change: I am not “this,” nor was I “that.” I’m simply more aware of what I
always was. Therefore, in thinking about change now, I do not need to change, I need only become
more aware of what I already am.
• Language: Ser/Estar – “I am this now but won’t be later” is crazy as a concept.
• THAT words exist point to the beliefs behind them (the more specific/descriptive the language, the
less True).
• Communication beyond language: this is what I’ve been writing but haven’t Known. I haven’t
figured out how to write it or tell it because it cannot be written or told! I teach what I believe = I
communicate what I believe = I AM what I believe.
• Marce: what she says is True, what she communicates/believes is toxic.
• Which I perceive her to BE NOW simply shows what I believe.
• Camilo about Marce: “it’s crazy that she is talking about the now!” Why? Because of her energy
before (learning from the cat!)
 • Listen: Marce teaches me all the time, so does Nico, Camilo, Ana, Mom, Maria, and so on forever.
What you see them to be is what you believe (CIM!).
• When I’m alone, I can explore; when I’m with others, I can listen and share; ultimately, I Know I can
never be “alone.” Ultimately, I AM.

Entry 90 
To Marce: Just like Camilo with Ana, you bring out the “worst” in me. And you’re the only one who does.
The opposite is true conversely: I bring out the “best” in you. This is equally as obvious as your “effect” on
me. Knowing this, I slip into believing that I am causing this, rather than revealing it, thus taking it
“personally.” When I do this, the process begins towards complete unconsciousness/projection.

• My perception is my projection.
• I See what I Believe and I Believe what I See (there is no difference between the two!)

Only one unconscious belief will inevitably start the entire process. The process will only reverse when the
belief is examined and changed (or, instead of “changed,” revealed to have never existed).

• This is how all fear, anger, shame, guilt, or any other form of “suffering” works. And it all starts with
your concept of “self,” of “I” in the first place.

From before: “best” and “worst” here are essential to observe. Is it not her bringing out in me the very ability
to bring out the best in her? These things I refer to as “best” and “worst” literally do not exist as separate
things to judge. Notice the dissociation of everything, the dissection/individualizing/separating that, by
nature, must occur here?

• To Give IS TO Receive.

Entry 91 
Could the idea for FYTY be a platform within which everyone can Give whatever they want to the world?
Can each person list what they need/want and what they can/want to give? You can show love through
combining art, philosophy, music, literature, anything in a page of your design, or you could create something
new and revolutionary. Think facebook profiles, but about Love, not Ego.

From individual pages, you then can have pages that contain combinations of other pages. Everything can be
shown to be connected by actually showing the connections. For me, this would take eternity, but for You,
this will easily and naturally Emerge.

Entry 92 
Students of Life: we all are, and we’re not happy at school!

Entry 93 
Poem to Marce
 Entry 94 
Guilt is Hell

• This is true literally.

• Smoking at Marce’s151 house was literally hell for me. I, by definition, could not do what I genuinely
believe is “right.” I genuinely, passionately, for numerous reasons I can elaborate upon eloquently,
believe I both “should” and “shouldn’t” have smoked.

(Stopped the flow)152

What I call “thinking” is hell in comparison to the peace that is Now. Listening. Being. God.

• THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR!

• Was this not the #1 rule?
• Do you see how subtly deep-rooted, extremely unconscious fear has arisen within you simply due to
smoking some marijuana?
• This is ALL FEAR. EVER.
• Going to the dentist, giving a speech, saying no, saying yes, being what you want to be, doing
what you want to do…
• I WANT JOY NOW.
• What is stopping you Now?...
• …from doing, being, saying exactly what makes your heart explode with a passion so intense
that you literally feel guilty – on this very same, unconscious, yet profound way – for actually
feeling this much joy…
• THAT joy is available NOW.
• There only ever is Now, is there not?

When she came in, I swear to God she wanted to kill me. Her eyes were piercing with a rage so intense that I
couldn’t help but feel 3 years old with my parent screaming at me (not just with words, but with this same
energy).

• I perceive, literally, no Love in this experience of “Now.”

• Is this not the root of all perceived “suffering”?153

Is this beginning to sound too simple to be True? 

Entry 95 
To have faced this fear – head on – took extreme courage. This sounds conceptual because it is 100%
conceptual. Your Now never needs justification. You Are Free. This complete freedom literally overwhelms
you conceptually, and thus you conceptually refuse to “face” it.






























































151

Elaborate
on
what
happened
here.

152

I
was
“journeying”
while
writing
this
entry
and
thus
permited
my
mind
to
run
freely.
Often,
a
thought
simply

“stops,”
and
rather
than
“chasing”
it,
I
simply
let
it
go
and
begin
another
that
often
is
completely
different.

153

Wrote
later:
“That
this
was
my
perception
proves
that
I
was
unconscious;
that
it
was
hers
proves
she
was.”

 • You run from doing this your entire life.
• Your “life,” as you call it, is, in fact, nothing more than this “running away” of sorts.
• That you perceive yourself as separate, in a body, apart from all these “things” you see, is merely your
choosing to deny the Now, unfiltered, before you.
• Do you Believe Love Exists Now?154

You cannot, by definition, understand this. You cannot “agree” with it or “disagree” with it.

• The Now is an Experience.

Entry 96 
I unconsciously fear evil spirits, literally.

• This seems crazy to “wake up” and realize about myself, but I was imagining the “miracles” I “Know
but don’t know” (ha, know what I mean?) that I can perform, and in seeing my wet footprint on the
floor (because I had just showered), I felt an intense fear arise.
• If I perform a miracle like this (the manipulation of form), I will “fear” it.
• This only indicates that I am not “ready” to face my True Power.
• (And there is nothing wrong with this! Let’s take the slow train!)

(Stopped/Changed Flow)

All I’m telling you is that you can do, be, etc. literally whatever you want to do, be, etc. Nothing more.

• I also (lol) am pointing to this ability through my actions, words, state of Being, etc.
• In other words, I am not “telling” you these things, I am showing this truth to you.
• “Yes, ok, but when can I not be this way?” (I think, for example, about talking to Marce’s parents
completely openly, completely honestly, and completely unfiltered about that I just smoked
marijuana in their household, lol)
• You see, my unconsciously Believing that I cannot be honest with them Now, for any “reason,”
reveals I do not Know this Truth NOW.
• THAT I can even make this distinction proves, by definition, that “I” am separate and that I Believe
Love to be lacking NOW.
• This does not mean I say everything to everyone! I don’t mention every time I masturbate, LOL!
• But if asked, I am Now, completely honest.
• If emotions arise, I am honest NOW, about that too.
• This is me.
• FEEL ME NOW! FEEL THE PAIN! TAKE THE BLAME!
• Before a word was spoken, my heart was broken!155

Guilt is my inheritance, and therefore Hell is my inheritance.






























































154

Wrote
later:
“CIM:
This
takes
extreme
effort
and
devotion
simply
because
it
is
undoing
that
which
you’ve

defended
for
so
long
with
such
effort
and
devotion.
All
ego
–
and
all
its
manifestations
–
takes
extreme
effort.
This

is
reversing
this
decision
to
a
state
of
no
effort.

155

Both
of
these
are
from
Faithless
“Feel
Me”

 • I was born in Hell, literally
• Well, at least it was immediately affecting me energetically upon birth.
• Crying upon entering the world!? What does this tell you??

Childbirth can be – it was, will be again, and thus can be NOW – the most conceptually joyful experience
humanly possible.

• Mothers, think only for a second about this and how joyful it was even within this same hell…
• Then imagine how much more intimately, infinitesimally joyful it once was and thus can be NOW.
• Haha, fuckin a.

Don’t you see? Of course you conceptually do not believe this now. By definition, you cannot “understand”
it, for there then must be a “you” that is trying to.

Don’t worry, remember: this is not to be overcome either, lol. Don’t you see?

You Are You

• Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you’ve done and so on forever and ever and
ever.
• Before a word was spoken, your heart was broken.
• You were born into Hell.
• But Heaven is NOW.
• Don’t You See?

What is your experience of NOW?

• Is Love Now?
• Are you Joyful Now?
• Remember: of course this will seem conceptually insane; it must!
• Passively, this is “suffering,” and actively, it is utter aggression – this is facing Death.

It is only – ever – the Ego that dies.

• This is what many have tried to explain in “words” such as “Heaven,” “Eternal Life,” “Nirvana,”
“the Buddha,” “Christ,” “God,” “Brahman,” and so on.
• Don’t you see??
• All change is of the ego, meaning that otherwise it is LIFE.
• Only an ego even calls it “change” because of the attachment to “past” required for the
definition.

Entry 97 
Conceptually to Marce:

Don’t you see? Of course I’m sorry and of course I’m not. You Know and know exactly what I’m talking
about.
 You All Do!
(everyone reading this NOW).

I feel horrible and I am completely joyful.

• I am both NOW.
• I was born into Hell, but Heaven is NOW.
• CIM: God or the Ego; Heaven or Hell; Joy or Guilt.

You Are Free to Choose!

Now.
Always.
“Time” is your experience of choosing Hell.

• I don’t mean that when you choose heaven that – poof! – you cease to exist or get raptured away, lol.
I mean your experience of this moment simply no longer gives any egoic distinction to an individual,
separate, “you” in the first place.
• This is a shared experience.

“You” are not separate to even make this “decision.”  

This is True. Now. Always.

• Has why this has been repeated so redundantly become clear yet?
• Yes, I’m aware you have “understood” it.
• I’m asking you to BE IT.
• SHOW ME THIS TRUTH!
• NOW. ALWAYS.

Remember: “you” will continue to “wake up” to realize this.

• You have done this many, many times in the past (past lives??) and will many, many times in the
future.
• This is True because there is no past nor any future.
• These come into existence in the experience of this moment once there is a “moment” and a “you”
to “experience” them in.
• This is the birth of separation. Simply “your” choosing Hell, Guilt.
• The nature of these decisions is beyond my conscious awareness as of yet.
• I have done this many times: as Christ, as the Buddha, as Lao Tsu, as Me! (but also as Jon Stewart,
Madonna, that tree, this pen, that breeze, that molecule of oxygen, the infinity of space “above”
you).156

If you don’t know where you are, when you are, what you are, why you’re here, and so on
forever…what makes what I’m saying so crazy afterall? What makes anything crazy?





























































156

Notice
there
is
no
such
thing
as
“up”
or
“down,”
etc.
in
infinity!?!
Ha.
Become
aware
of
the
infinity
around
you!

 OTHER THAN HELL NOW
????
You Are Choosing Now.
Always.
• Yes, this will be continued to be repeated.
• Yes, I will continue to say it (I recall saying to Marce so many times).
• Yes, I know this is difficult to hear.
• Remember: nothing is “difficult to hear” except to an ego, because anything “difficult to hear”
requires suffering Now.
• Yes, ok, there might be CHANGE, but remember: only an ego fears this either!

I am not asking you to understand it.

I am asking you to BE IT.
You Are Free to Choose.
Now.
Always.
Entry 98 
To Marce:

Read your poem!  I feel this way about you NOW. Why? Because it brings me JOY NOW. I choose it,
don’t you see? I know you leave sometimes, but I See You 


This is True for ALL FELLOW HUMANS.

• Your mother, father, brother, lover, all criminals, all homeless, all celebrities, all terrorists and so on
forever!
• All our hearts were broken before a word was spoken!
• We were all born into Hell!
• We were all born crying!...so if you don’t cry when Knowing this, you don’t really know it!

All human suffering – depression, aggression, denial, guilt, etc. – is simply our refusal to face our
True Power. It is refusing to face WHO YOU REALLY ARE!

You Are Love!

(And it really is all you need! Da, da, da, da, da! Ha!)

Entry 99 
These are extremely intense states of concentration that give birth to writings like these. Every time I “wake
up”, I look around the room, become aware that I am a body, feel literally “reborn,” I must remind myself:

• There is nothing to fear, nothing to overcome.

• You are a “You.”
• It seems very weird to say, think or read, but we really do unconsciously fear facing this Truth so
much so that we react with aggression, denial, etc. and ultimately “Guilt” and therefore “Hell.”
• We choose Hell because we refuse to face Heaven. Now. Always.
• We choose the ego because we refuse to face our true self. Now. Always.

Remember: by definition, this cannot be understood or experienced independently.

• This is a Shared Experience.

To Marce:

• Don’t you see?

• Don’t You See?
• “I” “leave” sometimes too! Haha!
• My reflection also is dim at times, possibly even Now, Always. (in your experience of this moment,
that is.)
• If you wake up – at anytime – to become aware that you see me as guilty, unworthy, WITHOUT
LOVE – NOW – than you too have become aware that you unconsciously believe all these things
I’ve written about.

To You All:
Do You Perceive Love Now? In me? In Yourself? In “the world” as you perceive it?

Are you guilty? Ashamed? Depressed? In jail? Homeless? Gay? And so on forever…

YOU ARE LOVE!

Just as I cannot independently Know this or Experience this, neither can You!!

You must not see yourself lacking love. You must not see me lacking love. You must not see anyone or
anything lacking love. Ever!

THIS IS FORGIVENESS!
...of all sins, of all guilt, of you, of me, of “the world”…
OF ALL OF US SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Forgiving your brother is forgiving yourself.

Forgiving yourself is forgiving your brother.
Forgiveness is a state of mind, a state of Being. Now.
It is the choice of Heaven over Hell, God over the Ego, Truth over Illusion.
 SURRENDER TO THE VOID.
BE HAPPY NOW.
(These are the same!)

Entry 100 
If you are not happy, you simply need to “change” something. While this will indeed manifest individually in
your life, much more has it already manifested for us collectively in countless ways:

• Earthquakes, hurricanes, cancer, all the way to all sickness, all death, all suffering!
• I mention these because this is the most important point of all.
• Many, many of you already “understand” this!
• All the people I’ve mentioned, artists, comedians, musicians, philosophers, poets…

You reading this Now!

(including me later, lol, believe me!)

Many “spiritual” people especially – Tolle, Krishnamurti, Buddha, Jesus, all those who read and believe in any
religion, etc. – understand this perfectly. Conceptually, these DO point to Heaven, Now. Don’t you see? All
that the “unspiritual” people see that, well, make them choose to be “unspiritual,” is simply of the ego, don’t
you see? Of course the Bible isn’t literally true! (And neither is this!) It is words on paper. Can that contain,
even remotely, God? Infinity? Truth?

You Are Truth!

And you are all that you see, touch, hear, think, smell, become, etc…

“My soul feels the Universe end to end, and I feel myself healing men…”

“She scolds me, stop lyin! And I told her…And I hold her…I’ll never stop tryin!”

For you...and you...and you...and you...157

Entry 101 
There is no such thing as “spiritual” truth. No such thing as “religion.”

• There is only Truth.

• That we’ve continued to make the distinction is our final, unconscious, unobserved assumption!...
• …that there is something “greater than us” to worship, revere, etc. (or fear!)
• This is the ultimate manifestation of the unconscious belief in separation…

That You are Separate from God!






























































157

From
Faithless
“Flyin
High”

 • Again remember: you cannot “understand” this.
• Experience it Now.

Say to yourself. Remind yourself of What You Are:

I am Part of God.
I am Infinite.
I am Eternal.
I AM LOVE.
You either believe this, or you believe:

I am separate from God.

I am insignificant.
I will Die.
I AM WITHOUT LOVE.
Don’t You See?
Entry 102 
I’m going to try and go to bed now, haha. Even after having written all this and read it again, even now I feel
the pull of guilt – of Fear – about facing this power in relation to simply being honest with Marce and her
parents about something this silly.

I remind myself: There is nothing to fear!

I, too, will read this over and over until I Remember. Now. Always.

When I do – whenever in the Now – that I do, I simply will no longer ask any question…

THE END!  LOL!

…of the beginning…of the end…of the beginning…

Entry 103 
You will Know all this only through Sharing it.

• Sharing it IS Knowing it.

• This is in ANY change you make in how you interact with people and all things.
• Do what brings you Joy, what makes you genuinely laugh.
• GIVE (of yourself to yourself).

Conceptually, FYTY could provide a forum within which this is utterly simple and easy.
 • Everyone connecting and seeing in each other the growing commitment to this will create a Global
Tipping Point – energetically and outwardly – that is literally inevitable if only YOU – whoever is
reading this – DO IT NOW.
• There are no requirements, no guilt, no convincing, only LOVE. NOW.

Your sharing this in your personal “audience network” connects you to every other human on the planet in
an interconnected, evolving consciousness.

• Our Minds are not separate!

• WE are not separate!

To believe what we do about each other egoically has taken thousands of years to form. This can completely
and entirely collapse NOW, no time required.

• How much time we actually use is up to us all, it is up to You, Now, whoever is reading this.
• It is up to You, Now, not to see any weakness in your brothers, ever.
• See Them Now.
• Look deep in their eyes. Feel their energy.
• Anything “negative” at all is simply ego, conditioned, illusory.
• You can perceive this in the context of Love or of its absence, of it being separate from you (isolated,
judgeable), or of it being You, too.
• You can Forgive All Now or believe in Judgment and Punishment.
• This literally requires every human on the planet to Believe Now.

Yet as conceptually overwhelming as this might seem, your role is only for YOU to believe it Now.

• Nothing more is or could or will ever be required or asked of you (CIM: your only role in the
atonement is to accept it for yourself).
• Do you see how simple this is?

FYTY is the bridge filling the gap between effort and no effort.

• None of this takes any “effort” to accept and/or believe.

• Yet just as it has taken extreme effort on my part to reverse this decision for myself – it will take
collective effort to reverse this decision collectively

We all have an intense amount of trapped energy within dying to explode into manifestation.

• In this moment, we spend it creating elaborate, complex fictions about each other (think all movies,
all soap operas, etc. as well as ALL of our interpersonal disputes and conflict we continue to
create).158
• THIS IS YOUR AUDIENCE NETWORK!
• This is your energetic network. We all have this for approximately 150 people.159






























































158

Wrote
later:
“All
‘wasted’
energy,
however,
is
but
the
wilting
flower
of
consciousness.
This
is
equally
beautiful
in

that
it
is
the
other
side
of
the
same
coin.
It
is
Duality.
True Freedom.
Beautiful!!
This
is
how
suffering
is
but
fuel
for

the
fire
of
consciousness.
To
even
be
“excited”
about
this
is
completely
unnecessary
(Think
Tolle
or
Tito).

Excitement,
extreme
Joy,
Passion…these
are
transformed
suffering.”

It is impossible for me to change you all or for anyone to change any large group of people simply because
our individual networks are now too complex.

But you can change yours!

People such as Tolle, Jon Stewart, Maxi Jazz, etc. are doing this now, and yet conceptually we will require,
still, much, much “time,” “future,” in order to see any major, collective change (in resource distribution,
global education, concepts of possession, etc.).

• This is only because our emphasis – even in these people’s examples – has only been individual.
• We have not Known that we are not separate, that this is a shared experience.
• Many have believed they individually understood these things and thus tried to “share” them with
others.
• But we know now how this works, don’t we!?!
• This is the trap door.
• You must Believe ALL Your Fellow Human Beings to be filled with Love Now.
• See the spark of life within everyone you encounter.
• If you see it in them, you will reveal themselves to them.
• If you see or respond to them as an “ego,” as “separate,” then we will continue to be separate egos.

The Choice is Ours.

It is Yours.
Now.
Always.
Entry 104 
Right now, in this moment, you are deeply lonely. You feel isolated from all fellow humans and are dying to
reach out and connect with someone.

• This is ALL relationships (with friends, lovers, family, etc.).

• You believe the world to be filled with selfish, lonely people that are too X to simply Give Love
Now.
• That you view life – the world – each other – this way is WHY you are depressed, lonely, angry,
aggressive, anxious, afraid…this is why suffering still exists.
• This will continue to be true for you so long as you believe this about each other.
• This suffering merely points to change.


































































































































































































159

Cite
source
on
this
(I
think
Tipping
Point).

 • This seems a bit conceptually odd, but this will not change unless and until you see no need for
change in any of your brothers.160

We all share a state of Being with one another, a Shared Perception of “the way things and people” are.

• This shared perception cannot, by definition, change unless you see no need for change in your
brothers.
• You can do this in an infinite variety of ways!
• You SHOW this by Giving Love Now, in whatever way or form you Want.

Entry 105 
Personally Knowing this has been extremely difficult. I’ve consistently felt the pull to conceptualize this and
believe I had to type it up, travel and talk, create this or do that. I’ve felt – conceptually – immensely guilty for
staying in Colombia and “doing nothing” to “change the world.” Yet this was the trap door I didn’t fall
through!

• I have been an unhealed healer (CIM).

• All my growth with and through Marcela, my mother, my brother, Nico, Camilo, Fabian, Rochi,
Maria, LEIC, Partners, Law school, drugs, and so on HAS BEEN my changing the world.
• It’s changed the world because it’s completely changed my Perception of it.
• I no longer Fear the world. I no longer Fear Marce. I no longer Fear You – whoever you are. I no
longer Fear God. I no longer Fear my Self!
• And thus I SEE that the world doesn’t need to change!
• And neither do You!

It is thus in healing myself that I have healed you. And now it will be in healing you that I heal myself.

So who wants to change the world???!!!???

NOW YOU KNOW HOW.
(new entry here)
“It’s not over….it’s not over…it’s not over. I’m not going Home till I can take you with me!

Come with me!”161

I am the ultimate resource. Please use me! I have so much to Give! I understand so much! Maxi Jazz, Jon
Stewart, Tolle, President Obama…whoever believes even a piece of this…Ask me! Engage me! Please allow
me to give! Please receive me! I love You!!!






























































160

Wrote
later:
“This
is
the
unity
of
Peace
Now
and
the
Desire
for
Change.
Our
desire
for
change
IS
our
desire
for

Peace
Now.
These
are
the
same.
You
can
always
–
Are
always
–
at
Peace
Now.
If
you
suffer,
you
simply
are

providing
fuel
for
the
inevitable
“transformation.”
You
see,
even
calling
it
this
means
our
egos
are
still
interpreting

this
as
“change.”
This
is
Life.
We
now
simply
get
to
let
the
fuel
of
consciousness
BURN.
(Katy
Perry
–
Firework!
).

161

From
Faithless
“Not
Going
Home”

 Entry 106 
“Do you need it? Hey! I need it to! Alright!
Do you need it? It’s good for you! We gonna move!” – Daft Punk

Dance! Celebrate! Fuck man, do what you want! Move with me!!!

Entry 107 
About my Journals:162

• This is a Dialogue.
• I am telling you nothing, only sharing my journey.
• This is not linear, but fluid.
• It is personal, raw, unfiltered and unedited.
• That is the point.
• I don’t ask you to read this because I think IT is important, I ask you to read it because I know YOU
are!
• I have no “goal” in asking anyone to read this; I only want to Give. I only want to Share.
• I have numerous “ideas.” Tell me yours!
• Ultimately, I don’t want you to “change” what you think or do. I only want you to examine,
understand and Know better what it is You already Want to do.
• As my journey started out, all I did was read numerous books, watch numerous documentaries, listen
to numerous podcasts, etc. The “content” was always secondary to the structure.
• What I noticed (and appreciated!) was genuine authenticity, actual sincerity.
• Life is so full of bullshit and, frankly, it doesn’t have to be!
• I hope my journals are simply this for you: a fellow soul’s authentic, sincere journey.
• I share it with you peacefully and lovingly.
• And honestly, I can’t wait to see where our shared journey will take us next!

Entry 108 
HOLY SHIT!!! LOL!! Hey pot! This is kettle! You’re black!! Haha.

• Do you see how SERIOUS all that sounds??? (my previous entry)
• I sound like Krishnamurti, lol!
• I’m conceptually justified to take it “seriously.” It is, in fact, the Remembrance of True Freedom.
• If America is freedom, than the US of A is the cerveza to my Jack Daniels! LOL!!
• Listen, this is the end of all hospitals, all prisons, all laws, all guilt, all fear, all suffering of any kind…
• It is replacing that with complete Peace Always, complete ease Always, and highlighting this serenity,
this Heaven, this Nirvana, is that…

The Journey Is Shared.






























































162

Wrote
this
after
nearly
finishing
typing
my
5th
journal
and
“worrying”
about
the
need
for
some
type
of

introduction,
explanation,
etc.

 • Complete, utter serenity is – in our experience/perspective – actually “solo,” not “lonely,” but, well, I
don’t know a “word” for this, but there’s no one or any thing “else.”
• Thus to EXPERIENCE this peace more fully, more complexly (consider this to be the
FLOWERING stage of a plant) “form” is created.
• Deep Peace, in order to “blossom,” needs to blossom “into” something, this blossoming then needs
to be “perceived” by someone/thing.
• This is EXTENSIONALITY.
• To extend, to “expand,” is DIMENSIONAL (Sagan has already explained this, so too has 10
Dimensions).163
• This is, in fact, all I’ve been talking about this entire time, lol.
• We are exiting the 3rd Dimension of Consciousness.
• Yikes, this just occurred to me, yet it seems QUITE OBVIOUS.
• This has been my “Transition Course” for myself, which I have now recognized, Known…

AS YOU!!
(whoever is reading this and All that IS)

• To understand this is to EXPERIENCE it.

• It will feel like a complete and utter RELEASE of previously trapped energy.
• It can manifest as increased tension if interpreted with fear (remember: fear = ego) of any kind.
• If you fear or resist this shift in any internal way, you will “suffer” greatly.
• There is nothing I can do to help you with this.
• No spiritual person or doctrine or path will release you from this (no diet, no new year’s resolution,
no promise, no philosophy, accomplishment, NOTHING!)

You Are Coming Around on YOURSELF.

• Maxi Jazz got this exactly.164
• This is a shift, a “change” in your deepest, darkest, most haunting fears, your nightmares, your
skeletons, your guilt, your anger, your depression, your “psychiatric” condition, your sickness, your
cancer, your suffering…

YOUR HELL NOW.

• This is how you Perceive, how you See, how You Experience YOURSELF.
• Your “self” is your experience of this moment. This one! Right now!
• In this moment, you happen to be reading this (well, I happen to be writing it, lol) but back to you,
ahem (lol), this IS…You…Now…Always.
• Look around the room right now, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing.

Look Around Now.

Look Within Now.
See Yourself Now.






























































163

Provide
links
to
these
2
youtube
videos.

164

Faithless
‐
“Comin
Around”
Go
listen
to
it
now,
seriously


 Experience Life Now.
Experience Yourself Now.

This is the 4 th Dimension.

This is Heaven.
This is LOVE.

IF YOU WANT IT TO BE.

• No pressure, no guilt, no hurry, no convincing, no delaying, no running away, NO FEAR…

Just You Now.

• How you experience this glorious gift of Life, of the conscious experience of consciousness, of God,
of You, is completely within YOUR POWER.

That we all find ourselves here together is not by chance.

• WE ALL KNOW EACH OTHER!!

• You’ll see it if you look, really look. You’ll feel it, you’ll Know it.

Entry 109 
Ok, just “came back” a bit and realized I take this stuff a little seriously, lol. I guess that’s where I started,
haha!

• We will face this Together.

• Whatever we Decide, the Experience is Ours.
• So um, I’m still scared sometimes, ok? I’m still normal, lol!
• I’m simply here with you now. This is me.
• And I need you to See Me! (Cool lead in to The Who’s “Tommy,” lol!).
• But seriously, we’re all like this too, we’re literally dying to be seen, aren’t we?
• Isn’t this our deepest egoic drive?
• Love ME!! We scream! We cry like a baby and hurt things we don’t understand!

We are beautiful, lovely, perfect Children of Consciousness.

• And we’re waking up from a nightmare scared. We still believe in monsters, we still are afraid of the
dark, afraid of surrendering to the void, of being vulnerable, of GIVING, always, with all our
hearts!

GOD LOVES YOU VERY MUCH!

YOU LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!
• Look around at your brothers and see it is True.
• See the love of your mother, your lover, your friends, and of complete strangers.
 • SEE GOD LOVING YOU. SEE YOU LOVING YOU.
• Give Love and you will Receive it!
• It is yours for the receiving BECAUSE it is yours for the giving.
• Loving IS Giving.
• It is the Divine Will, God’s Holy Plan, it IS Heaven, extended, created, collectively unfolding before
all of us, Now.

We get to CREATE HEAVEN, NOW.

TOGETHER.
• Each person you encounter gives you this most precious of Gift.
• This Gift is Available Now. Always.

Entry 110 
I am your Guide only in that I am the first. But it’s obvious indeed that this decision is yours as much as it is
mine.

• Yes, this seems conflictive, but it only is if I try to convince you.

• I know that I cannot.
• You can see whatever it is you WANT to see.
• “It is only Infinite Patience that produces Immediate Results.” – CIM! Rock on! Ha!
• This is what we must all GIVE each other.
• This sounds “too much.” “But we must stand up! We must, at the very least, show them we’re serious!!...” I
hear you think and/or say…165
• Do you feel that?
• There is nothing to Fear. Heaven is Now. You can do whatever you Want.
• And I do not want to upset you, to push you, to conflict with you…in any way, ever.

I Love You!
• And it is precisely because I love you, that I have given you Infinity, Eternity, to make, literally,
any Decision You Want.

Entry 111 
Shifted to watch Life with Tito (the BBC series, not the real thing, lol).

• I literally believe all of “nature” would shift – IS shifting, now, with us.
• There have been many, many examples of individuals who have known this, but as they didn’t yet
Know that this was a shared experience, and because there was no means of communication among
all of us simultaneously, the results remained individual.

I, actually, have no clue, no idea what WE are capable of. And neither do we, you see!





























































165

I.e.
Peter
Joseph
and
Zeitgeist.

 Because we’ve never tried!
And don’t feel too bad about this! This, even conceptually, has happened quite quickly, quite recently. You
haven’t “missed” anything, it’s just that we’re all waking up together is all.

My journey has been extremely intense only so that I will have fuel for the return, lol.

We all Do Have Fuel, have LOVE, for the return!

Welcome Home! 
Entry 112 
What you see in me, you Create in me.

• I think I’ve said/written this before, but it just occurred to me just how literal this is.
• I am Infinity!
• And therefore literally whatever you see me, I experience in My experience of this moment.
• Do you see how profound this is??
• I have been CREATED by what you’ve seen in me, and yet my experience of this is my perception
of it, and thus what I SEE as well.166

Our Minds Are Not Separate!

• This is what is meant by this.
• Whatever you choose to see in me, you will, in fact, see, regardless of what I do.
• BUT, my response to your seeing it is then UP TO ME, and proves what it is I SEE.

We all need only ask ourselves genuinely:

• Do I see Love Now?

• Do I have anything to Fear Now?
• Can I be at Peace and Joyful Now?
• Can I Trust and Love My Brothers Now?
• Your answer to these questions literally determines when all world conflict vanishes forever!
• Like roaches to the Argentineans! Haha!

Entry 113 
You see, I was taking this “seriously” before because as I made the decision to finally put this all online, my
ego unconsciously creeped back in and I began “worrying” about how it might be perceived by others; what
expectations people might have of me, if I could – as silly as this seems – “handle the spotlight” – of sorts.

I want people to know this all so badly and yet I can’t deny my deepest fear of actually, finally, Being this.






























































166

This
all
made
me
think
of
Val
and
Pip!


It is this fear I’ve been facing in the past week – hell, in the past X thousands of years! This has been why my
writings have been so clear: I am, in fact, finally facing this fear.

And because I have, and because this is a shared experience, because our minds are not separate…

You have now experienced it too!

• My experience IS your experience just as yours IS mine.
• Many “I’s” have known this.

It’s now time for US to!! 

From You, To You

By:
Kevin Hanson

Let the Dialogue Begin!



Entries
while
typing:


Sister Bliss added that the club culture was something the band members, especially her, were stuck with; "Late-night
DJing will be the death of me but I’m good at it, goddammit. I’ve always found house music deeply absorbing; it
forces you to be in the moment and it’s locked into my DNA. I get riled when dance music gets undervalued as
mindless nonsense because there’s a galvanising force in people getting together to do something positive. There’s
nothing more joyous than people dancing and losing themselves to music."


Radical, man. That’s what I’m talking about!! Haha 


And check this out:


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/4716674/Hard‐to‐describe‐great‐to‐listen‐to.html


“There’s
a
unifying
thing
going
on.”
–
Haha,
there
is
Maxi,
isn’t
there



Entry
2:


FYTY
idea:
These
entries
are
perfect
independently.
I
can
have
one
pop
up
each
day
as
all
you
see
when

you
go
to
www.FYTY.com
I
can
add
or
comment
briefly
to
clarify
or
change
whatever
I
want.
Then
have

all
available
to
be
read
as
the
first
FYTY
Interdependent
Page.
Each
human
is
granted
free
access
and

their
own
profile.
Within
each,
you
can
add
and
combine
all
other
pages
into
Interdependent
Collective

Pages.
These
can
then
be
combined
with
other
collective
pages,
and
so
on
to
infinity.
All
Can
Emerge
as

We
Want,
jajajaja.
Fuckin
a.


Tolle:
let
me
help
you
build
a
page.
Maxi
Jazz,
Jon
Stewart,
Barack
Obama
(not
The
President,
but
you,

the
human
being),
all
children,
all
terrorists,
ALL
OF
US.
EQUAL.


Ha,
ok,
yes
this
is
silly,
but
you
know
what,
FUN
IS
SILLY,
lol!
So
lets
have
some
fun
and
create
–
Together

–
the
best
goddamn
website
the
world
has
ever
seen!
Lets
make
a
website
not
about
change
or
better

or
about
the
past
or
the
future,
but
about
NOW!



What
gives
you
Joy
Now?
What
do
you
Want
to
Give
Now?
WE
ARE
LISTENING!
WE
ARE
HERE.
NOW.

TOGETHER.
ONE.


Entry
3:


I
See
only
Children.
CEOS
are
bullies.
Sports
stars
are,
well,
the
same,
lol.
The
“in‐crowd”
is
celebrities.

The
class
president
is
the
President,
lol.
Billy
pushed
you
in
the
sandbox
today?
AIG
sold
you
an
unfair

deal
today?
Suzie
told
me
I
was
ugly
today?
Your
wife
cheated
on
you
today?
Don’t
you
see
these
are
all

the
same.
The
conceptual
complexity
has
changed,
nothing
more.
We
are
more
intelligent,
more

evolved,
thus
our
illusions
appear
more
“real.”
This
is
especially
the
case
considering
our
collective

nature.
We
do
not
know
our
own
power,
thus
we
do
not
know
each
other’s
power.
Also,
we
do
not

know
each
other’s
power,
thus
we
do
not
know
our
own
power.
These
are
the
same!


That
“systems”
of
government,
money,
education,
business,
politics,
etc.
exist
only
demonstrate
our

Power
to
create
them.
These
are
all
illusions,
all
our
creations.
These
are
all
ideas,
manifested
into
form.

We
believe
scarcity
to
exist,
thus
we
create
it.
We
believe
evil
to
exist,
thus
we
create
it.


This
has
all
been
said.
The
question,
I
suppose,
is
what
we
can
all
do
about
it?
The
question
you
are

asking,
is,
of
course...


WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT???


If
this
site
has
any
“purpose,”
it
is
only
this:
to
demonstrate
YOUR
true
power.
I’m
not
telling
you
or

showing
you
that
you
CAN
create
things
such
as
this;
I
am
telling
you
and
showing
you
that
you
ARE

creating
these
things,
right
now,
in
this
very
moment.

 • Do
countries
Exist?

• Does
money
Exist?

• Does
racism
Exist?

• Does
Evil
Exist?

• Is
there
abundance
Now?

• Is
there
Love
Now?


You are Answering these questions in and through your Experience of this Moment. 

Now. Always. 

So…what
can
YOU
do
about
it?
What
can
YOU
do
to
change
yourself?
To
change
the
world?
To
end
all

poverty?
To
create
an
abundance
of
love
like
never
before
seen
or
even
imagined
in
all
of
human

history?


What
role
could
you
possibly
fulfill
in
this
most
united,
beautiful
of
purpose?


You can Perceive Love Now. 

You can Be Happy Now. 

You can Give Now. 

Please
See
that
in
doing
only
this,
you
are
joining
in
the
realization
of
the
greatest
force
known
in
the

entire
Universe.
By
simply
believing
that
you
have
an
abundance
of
love
to
give
now,
you
will
SEE
that

you
do.
By
believing
that
all
fellow
human
beings
have
an
abundance
of
love
to
give
now,
you
will
SEE

that
they
do.
And,
most
importantly,
by
simply
Believing
and
therefore
Seeing
this
love
in
everyone
and

everything,
you
will
Know
that
Love
is
Abundant
Now.


Love
can
always
be
lacking
in
the
past
and
future
because
these
are
our
creations.
Love
can
and
will
be

lacking
in
the
past
and
it
can
and
will
be
lacking
in
the
future.
This
is
because
neither
exist
except
in
our

imaginations.
And
while
we
can
imagine
love
to
have
been
lacking
in
the
past
or
that
it
will
be
lacking
in

the
future;
Love
has
been,
will
be
and
is
abundant
the
only
time
it
can
be
and
the
only
time
it
must
be:

Now.


It
is
in
Seeing
the
power
that
your
beliefs
have,
and
by
seeing
that
power
in
everyone
and
everything,

that
you
will
begin
to
See,
therefore
to
Experience
and
therefore
to
Know
that
You
can
be,
think,
do,
and

create
anything
you
want!
The
world
IS
our
creation!


So…can
you
see
how
silly
the
question
of
“What
can
I
do?”
really
is?
You
can
create
whatever
you
want

to
in
this
very
perception,
right
now,
always.


You
can
believe
the
world
to
be
filled
with
problems,
to
be
filled
with
violence,
to
be
filled
with

inequality,
and
thus
to
continue
to
question,
wonder,
and
suffer
based
on
your
perceived
“state
of
the

world/reality,”
or
you
can
Know
Truth,
you
can
Know
Love,
you
can
Know
Thyself.

Please
remember,
please
Know:
It
only
takes
One
to
change
All
of
this....


And WE ARE ONE!167































































i

Its
so
obvious
why
all
these
spoke
to
me!

ii

Its
so
incredible
reading
these
again.
I
Know
them
now.
The
confusion
is
all
this
“shadows
of
the
mind”
stuff.
I

know
exactly
what
the
mean
now,
but
this
is
all
so
conceptualized
immediately
upon
receipt.
It’s
so
“wishy‐washy”

to
sound
silly,
lol.

iii

Haha,
wow.
Sounds
a
lot
like
mine
only
not
as
good,
hahahahaha!!!

iv

Incredible.
I
love
reading
these
again
now!
It’s
so
lovely
observing
and
experiencing
the
change
in
perspective.

I’m
reading
the
exact
same
thing
with
an
entirely
different
experience.
How
lovely.

v

Amazing
the
conceptual
conflict
I
still
had
and
was
unaware
of
yet.
Mind
vs
Emotion
vs
Peace
vs
Now
vs
Money,

etc.

vi

Still
just
as
true
Now


vii

Completely
random,
but
I
moved
out
into
the
living
room
to
type
this
today
and
am
doing
so
now
with
Jordan

reading
George
Carlin
on
the
couch,
Marcy
dancing
in
her
chair
to
the
Faithless
and
Crystal
Castles
we’re
listening

to,
and
all
drinking
declicious
tea
Sam
made
while
he
does
laundry.
I
just
can’t
say
how
great
it
is
not
to

“categorize”
my
life
anymore
and
keep
the
“spiritual”
stuff
compartmentalized/separate
from
the
other
parts
of

my
life.
Why
even
look
at
“parts”
at
all?
It’s
always
Now.

viii

This
sounds
eerily
like
my
description
of
“It.”
Wow.
Not
quite
sure
what
to
think
about
that
yet,
ha.

ix

I
remember
now
just
how
much
these
experiments
helped
open
my
eyes
to
the
“reasonability”
of
all
this!

Gladwell’s
Blink
and
Tipping
Point
truly
were
instrumental
in
all
of
this
for
me.
I
really
need
to
talk
to
him!
lol

x

Looking
at
your
life
through
the
same
perspective
of
“investment
return”
How
interesting!

Links
to
articles
like

the
BP
one.
Fool.com.
Lots!

xi

Wow,
things
really
do
come
full
circle,
eh?
Ha,
it
seems
I
“lost”
this
somewhere
along
the
way
only
to
find
it
even

more
beautifully
later.

xii

This
is
so
crazy
to
read
in
hindsight.

xiii

All
animals
in
nature
don’t
need
to
study
teamwork
or
math
or
any
thing
to
express
them
beautifully
in
their

actions.
Memorization
is
no
longer
needed
at
all.
True
growth
is.


xiv

This
is
one
of
the
big
misunderstandings:
Now
is
not
static;
there
is
no
experience
you
“should”
or
“shouldn’t”
be

having.
The
problem
here
is
the
expectation
of
what
enlightment/presence/peace/happiness
is.

xv

When
I
use
the
word
“feel,”
we
again
run
into
a
problem.
“Feel,”
here,
goes
well
beyond
surface
emotions.
It

seems
I’m
equating
very
different
types
of
experiences
when
it
comes
to
things
like
these.
This
is
why
I’m
always

still
“looking”
for
something
even
though
I’m
writing
about
the
exact
opposite.
I
“know”
but
don’t
“Know”;
“get
it”

but
don’t
“Get
it.”

xvi

Blaise
Pascal!
ha

xvii

This
is
only
“problematic”
when
resisted;
and
you
only
resist
it
when
operating
from
the
perspective
of
conflict,

competition,
etc.

xviii

Carlin
video.
And
we
wonder
why
the
UFO
doesn’t
land
and
say
hi?
Ha!

xix

“A
far
way
away
from,”
haha.
Love
that
I
used
to
use
language
like
that
(and
think
like
that).

xx

A
bit
extreme
here.
This
only
applies
to
most
movies
today.
Obviously,
the
power
of
film
(as
I
mention
later)
is
a

powerful,
wonderful
medium.

xxi

Hence
why
people
always
think:
“Man,
I
thought
I
was
so
present
today,
but
my
back
is
killing
me”
or
“I’ve
been

so
good
lately,
but
stuff
keeps
going
wrong,
I
just
can’t
do
it.”
Etc.
All
these
point
to
this
in
that
we
fail
to

acknowledge
that
once
we’ve
stopped
re‐acting
to
our
present,
we
still
must
deal
with
the
cumulative
build
up

from
past
re‐actions.
There
is
nothing
you
have
to
do
to
for
these
to
be
transmuted.
You
simply
must
become






























































167

Ha,
I
thought
of
this
earlier
today
and
loved
it!
“It
only
takes
one.
We
Are
One.”
What
a
cool
slogan
to
play

around
with



































































































































































































aware
of
them
in
the
same
way
that
you’ve
become
aware
of
the
present
(thoughts,
emotions,
etc).
Past
buildup
is

all
the
ego
is,
all
your
concept
of
self
is.
By
definition,
it
is
impossible
to
deal
with
the
past,
because
the
past
does

not
exist
except
for
in
your
mind
Now.
The
“expansion”
process
talked
about
later
is
this
process:
awareness
of

that
which
is
not
you
coupled
with
realization
of
what
is.


xxii

I
answered
this
question
myself
soon
after
writing
this,
lol.
My
realizations
come
from
all
sorts
of
places.

Granted,
they
usually
orginiate
through
my
thoughts,
feelings
and
experiences,
however
quickly
move
beyond
any

“me”
to
simply
observing
how
what is
operates.
The
nature
of
things.
The
process.
More
on
this
later.

xxiii

Reading
this
now
I
actually
feel
disappointed
in
how
blind
I
was
here,
lol.
No
women
spiritual
leaders?
What
is
a

spiritual
leader?
Think
mothers,
wifes,
grandmothers,
think
every
single
woman
everywhere!
No
women
spiritual

leaders?
Where
have
been
the
male
ones??
Haha,
very
funny
really.
I
was
so
closed
within
the
perspective
of

“spiritual
leaders”
being
public;
this
was
all
conceptual
for
me,
not
actual.
Actual
experience
has
no
labels
such
as

these,
just
that
which
you
see,
hear,
share,
experience.
Now.
Always.

xxiv

Wow,
again
amazed
at
the
limited
perspective
I
had
(and
as
always,
in
the
Now,
reminded
that
my
current

perspective
is
most
likely
just
as
limited

‐
doesn’t
stop
me
from
stating
what
I
know
to
be
true
now
and
acting

on
it,
just
on
confusing
that
knowledge
as
static
or
material).

How
can
we
differentiate
between
change
in
the

world
and
change
in
consciousness.
This
is
like
considering
changes
in
the
budget
but
not
money.
They’re
one
and

the
same.
We
see
now
that
our
current
consciousness
has
been
shaped
and
formed
by
the
manifestations
it

produced.
This
is
always
happening.
We
are
producing
the
very
conditions
that
then
shape
its
production.
Think

about
it.

By
making
this
illusory
distinction,
change
never
happens
because
it
cannot.

xxv

This
highlights
the
distinction
again;
between
money
and
Tolle
in
my
mind,
between
the
world
and
its

transcendence.
Even
the
thought
of
“transcendence”
assumes
a
“you”
and
a
“world”
to
transcend.
Do
you
see
the

illusory
nature
of
all
this?
(I
love
thinking
of
the
endnotes
to
these
endnotes
and
so
on
forever.
Can
you
see
how

thinking
like
this
can
never
end?
Can
never
be
”self”
motivated?
We
all
simply
observe
what
is.
Without
fear
and

without
any
“self”
incentive
at
all,
what
possibly
could
stand
in
our
way
from
doing
anything
at
all
we
simply

wanted
to
do?
What’s
stopping
you
now?

xxvi

This
is
true,
and
beautiful,
but
you
can
see
I
hadn’t
experienced
true
joy
yet.
I
still
only
knew
the
space
of
peace

that
permits
such
joy
to
arise.
I
was
so
certain
that
this
all
was
True,
that
joy
does
not
come
from
anything

external,
but
I
hadn’t
yet
truly
experienced
or
Known
that
joy
does
manifest
itself
in
things;
and,
in
fact,
in
every 
thing.
Ha!
How
great


Even
more,
it
is
this
distinction
that
stops
any
real
change,
you
see,
because
you’re
just
sitting
around
waiting
on

the
external
to
match
the
internal.
There
is
no
external
and
internal!
That’s
the
point.
(I
cannot
possibly
stress
the

importance
I
feel
that
this
has,
and
yet
even
I
do
not
fully
Know
it.
I
feel
that
once
I
do,
there
will
be
no…well,
I

don’t
know.
This
will
be
when
everything
goes
green
like
in
the
Matrix.
Stop
bullets?
I’m
saying
you won’t have to!

Fuckin
a.
THIS IS WHAT GIVES ME JOY! THIS IS WHAT “I” WANT TO EXPLORE. So
catch
up
everyone,
will
you?
Lol.

I’m
ready
to
start
creating!!
Are
you?


xxvii

Both
of
these
were
very
pure
moments
that
I
still
look
back
on
and
try
to
fully
Know.
This
simple
realization

about
allowing
vulnerability
and
thereby
realizing
true
invulnerability
applies
in
every
area:
our
thoughts,

emotions,
relationships,
concepts,
selves,
everything!
We are Free, we just don’t know it. I am I am, but “I” have 
forgotton.

xxviii

It’s
important
to
note
the
immediate
change
in
energy
that
arises
when
topics
such
as
sex
arise.
We

immediately
“categorize”
every
single
thing
after
this
shift
much
differently.
It
all
becomes
trapped
within
the

conceptual
whirlwind
of
all
that
is
sex,
that’s
right,
S‐E‐X, SEX BABY! Ha,
more
on
this
all
later,
but
seriously,
did

you
notice
the
shift?

xxix

It’s
incredible
for
me
to
see
how
even
this
is
still
a
clear
“projection”
of
a
possible
“better”
future.
I
envision
all

the
“ways”
that
people
will
“understand”
this,
which
is
precisely
what
I
tell
myself
NOT
to
do,
lol.
I
guess
that’s
the

point
though,
isn’t
it?
Why
I
haven’t
tried
to
“teach”
this
or
even
“share”
it.
YOU
ALREADY
KNOW
IT,
hahahahaha.

xxx

HILARIOUS
that
I
had
all
these
visions
even
before
Zeitgeist
III
at
all.
Seems
as
if
he
and
I
are
on
the
same

wavelength,
lol.


































































































































































































xxxi

This
is
radical,
man.
And
totally
true.
It’s
very
clear
that
consciousness
has
evolved
though
the
same
process
we

see
it
operate
in
everything
else.
6.8
billion
“I’s”
have
become
One
“We.”
We
can
see
this
as
evolution
forward
OR

a
Return
to
what
we
always
have
been.


xxxii

That’s
the
point!
It’s
not
because
of
this
or
in
order
for
that
to
happen,
it’s
in
and
of
itself
enjoyable!
Look
what

I
can
create!
Look
what
WE
can
create!
Haha,
awesome


xxxiii

I
had
actually
crossed
this
part
out
but
decided
to
type
it
anyways.
I
think
this
is
exactly
right:
this
is
True

Freedom,
the
true
freedom
that
scares
us
so
much.
Can
we
afford
this
freedom
to
all
our
brothers?
Can
we
afford

it
to
Ourself?

xxxiv rd

Honestly,
I
thought
the
3 
journal
would
be
my
last.
Lol,
little
did
I
know
I
had
hardly
even
begun!
I
really
did

“get
it
but
not
get
it.”


xxxv

You
are
ALWAYS
teaching
either
vulnerability
or
invulnerability.
The
vulnerability
or
invulnerability
of
yourself

or
another
is
no
different.
Either
we
are
all
vulnerable
or
we
are
all
invulnerable.
Vulnerability
exists
or
does
not.
In

acting
vulnerable
or
in
re‐acting
to
another’s
vulnerability;
we
see
our
own
beliefs
about
this
matter
manifested

clearly.
Invulnerability
=
There
is
nothing
to
fear.
If
you
have
fear
(if
you
fear
something
or
if
you
fear
for
someone

or
something
else),
than
you
must,
be
definition,
believe
in
vulnerability.
This
is
how,
be
it
in
how
you
view
yourself

or
in
how
you
view
others,
you
are
always
teaching/projecting/perceiving
what
you
believe
(these
are
all
the

same!).

xxxvi

This
may
sound
weird
to
hear,
but
we
may
all
need
this
with
each
other,
too.
By
this,
I
mean
that
you
may
need

to
take
a
break
from
your
Audience
Network,
lol.
Don’t
trick
yourself
into
thinking
you
must
or
should
do
anything

(be
it
help
a
specific
person,
do
a
specific
thing,
act
a
specific
way,
etc.)
You
must
only
Be
Joyous
Now.
How
you
are

joyous
is
determined
by
your
specific
conditioning,
only
yours,
that
will
manifest
through
your
emotions
and
state

of
being
(i.e.
your
experience
of
this
moment)
to
essentially
“tell
you”
exactly
what
it
is
you
want
to
do.
What
you

want
is
to
be
happy.
Thus
do
whatever
makes
you
experience
more
happiness.
Be
the
flower
seeking
light,
nothing

more.