Chapter 1: Nightmares

   "Shiiiing! Shiiiing! Shiiiing!" 

 "What are you doing my dear?" 

  

   "I'm...sharpening this blunt knife. You know what, blunt knife cannot produce
enough pressure."

"Come on, stop showing off that you got an A in Physics during your schooldays." 

"No, I'm serious. It won't be sufficient to kill a person." 

"I got it, that's why you have dressed to kill, isn't it?"

"You are too naive my dear." 

"I'm starving! Stop talking nonsense, please. Let's have our dinner." 

In my room...

"No! No! He's going to kill me!" 

   "Melissa! What happened? Has something happened? Are you okay?" 

My ‘naggy’ mother appeared from the other side of my room's door. My mother is
actually not like some old mother with crinkled face. She looks young, pretty with
blonde hair. 

  Blonde? You must be thinking that I'm a white lady too. But nah, my father is a
Malaysian and I'm now residing in Malaysia. Because I am a 'mixture' of genes from
a white lady and a local here; I don't have a fair skin like my mother. But it's quite
okay that many guys in my high school are after me. Back to the scene there. 

"Yes Mum! I'm pretty okay. It's just the stupid nightmare again!" 

" I keep reminding you not to watch horror movies at late night! You just don't listen
to me!" 

Blah! Blah! Blah! She'd started to nag. Even though sometimes it would be annoying
when she nags, I'd never raised my voice at her. Not never actually, I did raise my
voice once when there was a disagreement about my father between my mum and
me. 

I remember that she slapped me at that time when I went too far asking about my
father. That's obvious that I don't like my father yet I hate him a lot. I would just
punch him if I see him. Actually, I couldn't because I had never seen him before. I
could say that he is the most terrible husband but my mother never said so before.
She loved my father a lot that she refused to marry again when my father left her and
me alone here. He dumped my mother just like that so that he could be with some
kind of lady who's even younger but definitely could not be prettier than my mum. My
mother said that she drank poison and committed suicide at the time my father left
her but that's a foolish thing! Luckily, she survived. Well, I'm not intended to evoke
the past! Let bygones be bygones! 

Speaking of the nightmare, it's not something new to me. Having nightmares has
become a part of my sleep at nights. But every night, the nightmares are quite odd
and totally different from the horror movies that I've watched before. Because never
did an apparition appeared in my nightmares. Those nightmares even inspired me to
write some short stories and I earned some money from those before. I'd earned
some bucks and it might seem to be beneficial but it's not. There was the same man
in all my nightmares and even I had blonde hair like my mum. During last night's
nightmare, I called him 'my dear'. And what does that mean? Is he my boyfriend? Or
my husband? What's the relationship between us. My friends at school always made
fun of me whenever I narrated about my nightmares. They even teased me that I am
in love with the 'mysterious' man in my dream. But I didn't take them seriously. I only
wanted to find him no matter what. 
 Chapter 2: 'Atheist' Mum?

"Kring! Kring!" 

  "Mel, have you waken up?" 

My humdrum school life is going to begin again. But, there's no other ways. Only
education can promise us a good future. 

"Yes, mum." 

After freshening myself, I had my breakfast and went to school. My mom went out
long before I stepped into her 'beloved' kitchen. There was only few slices of bread
and a cup of milk but it's just perfect as breakfast. 

At school, …

"Good morning Madam Jossie!" 

"Good morning class! Please be seated. I believe that all of you must have known
about the 'Open Day' in our school next week. Melissa! You are the one that I want
to emphasise. This year, you must bring your mother. I've never seen your mother
before, even on the first day of school you came by yourself. Luckily, you are a good
student but still we as teachers need to meet your parents. " 

"Yes, Madam. I'll try." 

"Ring!... Ring!... Yeah!!..." 

"Hey, Melly! Don't think about what the teacher told this morning. Here, see what I
got for you." 

"Jesus Christ's statue? Thank you!" 

It's been ages since the last time I performed rituals in the church. Well, I am unsure
of my father's religion but my mum is a 'pure' Christian and that's what I saw in my
birth certificate but my father's details were left blank and I never asked anything
about that from my mother. Probably I didn't want to hurt her. But for so many years
my mother didn't go to church or perform prayers. Maybe she had just lost interest in
Gods but definitely she's not an atheist. But I still believe in Gods even I don't carry
out prayers every day. 

After receiving the 'special' present from Anne, my best friend which she bought from
Rome, I walked home 'happily'. I don't understand why I was so happy on that
afternoon. Maybe it's due to the statue. Anne told me that it's a powerful statue and
can get rid any Devil or demon. I think she must be concerned about my nightmares.
I'm lucky to have a good and understanding friend like Anne. As usual, I went
straight to my house. As soon as I arrived at my home, I was searching for a nice
spot to place my Jesus Christ. 

"Mel, what are you doing?" 

That sudden voice made my hair to stand on the end. I was quite shocked and
surprised because my mother usually would come home at night but she was quite
early on that afternoon. 

"I was... trying to put the statue here." 

"A religious 'doll'? Throw it away! You know that I have left my religion!" 

"But mum..." 
"I say throw it away!" 

She was angry and fierce at that moment. I knew that I could not throw it away as it
will be sinful but at the same time I could not go against my mother's words. I was
between the rock and a hard place. Hard-heartedly, I threw my Jesus Christ's statue.
May I be forgiven. I couldn't get it why my mum hate Gods so much. My teachers
always keep reminding us to be religious but it was in the opposite here. I still could
remember last time when I watched some kind of movie in which a religious man
helped the Captain Jack Sparrow to find the Fountain of Youth. Because of his faith
in religion, he was never killed by anyone. And even a mermaid helped him. I know
that's totally fictitious but at least I can be a better person if I become a religious
person like him. 

At the same night, I had a nightmare but it was as though it was a continuation of the
previous nightmare. It's not surprising as all my nightmares are interlinked and had
been 'telecasting' like a drama series. It was that night when the same man stabbed
me. I couldn't breathe! My blood was flowing out from my veins! I was dying! 

Kring! Kring! That annoying bell woke me up! At least I found an ending for my novel.
I have taken up writing a novel since I started to have these strange nightmares. The
publisher seemed to be quite interested in my novel when he read the first 1000
words of my novel. He said it was the most realistic story that he have ever read
before and he even demanded me MYR 10,000 if I finish my novel. Seriously, I've
never seen such huge sum of money. 

At school... 

"Good morning, Madam Lim!" 

"Good morning students. Sit down. Today, we're going to learn a new chapter,
'pressure'." 

The whole class became silent. It's normal that my classmates will be silent and pay
full attention at the beginning of each chapter, especially Physics. Because during
the previous exam we racked our brains to answer the questions. And our results are
results are not satisfying. So, no more playing during Physics classes. 
Without procrastinating, Madam Lim opened a video in front of the lab. 

"Do you know what's the man doing in the video?" 

"Sharpening a knife Ma'm!" The whole class shrieked. However, I was so

flabbergasted with the video projected and unfortunately this had drawn Madam
Lim's attraction. 

"Melissa, you seemed so stunned with the video! What has you seen?" 

"No Ma'm. I recalled my nightmare last night. " 

"I'm not asking you to dream during my class! Stand there during the entire class!" 

She simply punished me when I remembered my nightmare last night! That's

ridiculous! I didn't say anything wrong. I was just being honest. Was it wrong? 
 Chapter 3: A Mysterious Call

In an air-conditioned building somewhere around the city... 

Over the telephone... 

"Sir! I got her information. Her name is Melissa and she’s living with her mum" 

"Mum...? You are not mistaken, are you? " 

"No sir! I'm pretty sure. She's with her mother." 

"Then,...I want to meet her. Arrange for that." 

"But sir, you have a meeting later." 

"I say do it!" 

"Tuhh...." 

The phone was hung up before the man on the other side could respond. He
seemed very serious about the meeting with her daughter. 

"I need to find her! I really to find her!" The man spoke to himself. 
 Chapter 4: Novel to be published!

After that disastrous day, I walked in a leisurely way back home. Oh no! I forgot to
submit my novel to be published. I rushed so that I can hand in my work. Suddenly,
few men approached. They were strange and looked mean! I tried to avoid them but
from their behaviours I could sense that they came for me. 

"Excuse me! I'm in hurry. Can you give me my way?" 

The men replied, "No, young lady. We are looking for you. We're supposed to bring
you to meet someone. " 

"No, I don't who you are. Please let me go!" 

"No, we should bring you there! Bring her!", said one of the men while instructing the
others to bring me into the car. 

"Hel...p.." Just before I could scream for help, I lost my consciousness. They might
have used chloroform. I used it once to make a frog to be fainted so that I can ‘cut
open’ it. I did it during my Biology class but now the same thing happened to me but
they wouldn't cut open my body right? Would they? 

What I could remember the very next moment is me being in a very huge mansion.
Where am I, I wondered at the same time trying to recognise the place.

Out of nowhere, I heard voices from my back. There, stood a man, fit and young
except for a shock of white hair on his head. I still couldn't get the reason why he
kidnapped me. "Is he having some hidden intention? Is he going to rape me? Or kill
me?" There were so many questions came to my mind. But if he wanted to kill or
rape me he would have done it before I gained my consciousness. Moreover, I was
free, not even tied. 
The man approached me. The first sentence came from his mouth. "Hey, my dear,
how have you been?" Well, that question made me feel more awkward. "Who..who..
are..you? Why I'm here? What are you going to do with me? " That's obvious that I
was nervous, yes I was. I was hoping to get a good explanation from him for
abducting me, but what I got is more than what I expected. 

"Calm down, young lady. You don't need to be afraid of me. I'm your mother's
friend." 

I reacted in shocked. "Friend? No! No! You are bluffing! My mum never had a friend
and I strongly believe that she would never befriend a kidnapper. You are heartless!
Cruel!" Before I could finish scolding him, he stopped me but with a smile and calm
voice.

"Wait!...Wait! Please,...listen to me first. Give me few minutes to explain what

happened actually." 

"Well, he's going to cook up a story of 18 years. This is going to be kinda boring but
at least I'm safe at the moment." I thought. 

After shedding 'crocodile tears' for a while, he started his story. "My dear, do you still
remember that you used to calling me 'Dada'? No, you would have forgotten. I used
to be your father. Me and your mum.."

"What do you mean? You mean I'm an 'illegal' child of your affair with my mum? No!
I don't believe, my mum never told me anything about this! You are lying!" 

"Wait! Let me finish first." 

"Your mother came to Malaysia to serve the poor here about 30 years ago. She
came from a rich family in London but her only intention is to help the needy. She
involved in many voluntary activities there before she moved to here. Her family
protested her and kicked her out of her house. But she never gave up and continued
her services in Asia. Unfortunately, she fell for a wrong guy here during her service
and they got married. Her bad days started since then." 

"What happened?" I was quite curious to know about the continuation of the story.
But still I couldn't believe what he was telling me. Is he just shedding crocodile
tears?, I thought. Our conversation was truncated by a ringing of his phone. He took
it and walked away from me, leaving me there but what had drawn my attention was
the gate which had left opened. It would be the best opportunity to run away from
this pesky man. 
 Chapter 5: Rainbow Publications

I ran too far from the luxurious house. I stopped a while to catch my breath. Just
then, I remembered the real reason I was out. I had to submit my work to Rainbow
Publication. Only then, my 'nightmares' will be paid off. Forgetting what had just
happened, I walked towards the office of Rainbow Publication. 

The building was not enormous like that of Iron Man's but it was okay to
accommodate all the printing facilities. I entered the building hoping to publish my
novel. Without hesitating, I approached a morose worker there. 

'Excuse me! May I know where I need to submit my novel?' 

Without giving me a proper response, she just dragged me into the lift. Her action
was quite peculiar and made me speechless. 

'Ting!' The door opened and I went into the lift. But I felt something was amiss even
though I escaped from the man admitting himself as my father. Too much questions
came to my mind. I wasn't sure if I am doing the right thing. The lift led to the
director's office. 

'Tok..Tok...' 

At least she knows the etiquette before entering other's room, I thought in my mind
not having the gut to critic her attitude just then. 

A voice from the inner area of the room gave green light to us. As I was going to step
into the room, I was reminded to mind my p's and q's. This confused me even
greater.  I guess I was stuck in the "sea of confusion". 

After thanking her for her guidance, I entered the chill room. Although her treatment
wasn't nice, I used to practice the daily politeness of pleases and thank yous. 
Inside the room, I saw a lean man sitting in front of me. Soon, I approached him but
his face seemed to be quite familiar but the effect of chloroform was still there and
restricting my brain to think. However, I had to end this curiosity. 

"Sir, have we have ever met before?" 

I thought it was a non-offensive question but he replied me with a mean laughter.

And he added, "Of course we did. My 'beloved' daughter." 

That made me even more anxious and confused. For some seconds, I thought I had
just jumped out of the frying pan into the fire. The very next minute, I tried to flee the
place but there was there a tough guy who hit my head hardly that I just toppled to
the ground. At that moment, everything was blurry and I could sense that darkness
had engulfed me. 
 Chapter 6: Who am I?

"Mel...Mel...It's feeding time. Quick. Wake up." 

A soft voice woke me up at that instance. I tried to ask 'where am I?' but I couldn't
and then only I realised that I had shrunken into a small figure. Then approached a
white lady with blonde hair. And she was my mum! I tried to tell her everything but I
could only cry like a baby. Yes, I had been transformed into a baby. My mum took
me out of the cradle and walked towards a man. I could hardly believe my own eyes
when I saw his face. He was the one who abducted me at first but he looked rather
younger. 

Another problem I faced is that I could not control myself. I even called him 'Dada'
just as what he claimed. 

Ring....Ring....

My mum handed me over to the man she walked into her room to receive the phone
call. 

'No! I'm not coming!' 

My mum's voice was too loud but it became complete silence after that. She came
out of the room with tears on her face. 

She whispered, 'I'm going home.' 

All the confusions were killing me. However, I did not expect that there is a greater
surprise awaiting. 
The moment my mum walked the house presumably to be ours, I started crying at
the sight of Mr. Henry. This was not actually a surprise as I mentioned. It was a
dream in fact and it need not have to make sense. 

My mum put me in a cradle and walked to him who was sharpening a knife. Wait! It
was my earlier nightmare. He was the one who killed 'me' actually. But it was not
'me' it was my mum. She was the one who had been murdered in my nightmare. The
man even tried strangle me to death but something stopped him and he just left the
home. I was crying profusely, trying to get anyone's attention. I did not know for how
long I had been crying but I was seriously lack of energy and I felt as though death
was going to summon me anytime soon. 

Fortunately, someone opened the door. It was a blonde lady but I could hardly see
her face and I was out. 

"Wake up!" The villainous Mr. Henry shouted while splashing me with cold water. 

"Who the hell are you?" 

"Come on. I'm your mum's husband."

"Are you saying that you are my dad?" I wanted to know exactly what the hell is
going on and who am I and who is my real father. 

"How would I acknowledge a daughter of whore to be mine?"

"Don't you dare...." Slap....

Sorry mum, I could not defend you. Without having the courage to offend him again,
I asked him politely, "What do you mean?" I guess that was polite enough for him. 
"You mother had an affair with a beggar. You are his daughter."

"Freeze! Don't move!" 

Police? How did they know about my whereabout? 

"Stand back or I will shoot her!" He said while holding me at gunpoint. 

"Mister, put down your gun and come with us." 

"Kill me if you want! But I am not going to leave this 'disgraceful' child!" 

It was only one second apart for him to pull the trigger but a stroke struck him and he
collapsed to the ground. I could sense that someone was behind me when all this
chaos happened but I could not see him or her. The policemen impulsively
apprehended him. I, on the other hand, was escorted back by the police to the police
station to give a statement. 

At the police station, I recognised two persons. One was Mum and the other one was
my first kidnapper. 

He kidnapped me at first. I wanted to shout it out loud but I couldn't after seeing the
two of them holding hands. 

Is he my real father? They took their hands away as though they understood what I
questioned in my mind. I knew it would be awkward to ask any intimidating question
but I had to get to the bottom of this. 

I interrogated, "Mum, who am I? Who's my real father? And who is this guy sitting
next to you?" 
Being unable to hold the truth any longer, she let the cats out of the bag. I did not
expect the answers to my questions all lied in my nightmares. It was that night that
changed everything, it was because of my existence, my mum's .......
 Chapter 7: A Good Samaritan

There was an affluent family based in London. Ms. Rosy was the youngest yet the
kindest in the family. Despite her young age, she got herself involved in many
charitable works and she devoted part of her life into this. However, her family did
not like this at all, they strongly opposed her for helping the 'untouchable'. It was no
doubt that people then were so narrow-minded, especially those people who were
born with silver in their mouths tend to mock and discriminate people who were just
not well off. 

The resistance that she got from her family got stronger and stronger. However, she
decided to upgrade her social service to the next level. She wanted to contribute to
the international community and she chose Malaysia as the best location. Ms. Rosy
understood how difficult it was for the locals there for being ruled by her nation for so
many years. It was not long after 13 May 1963 incident that she made up her mind to
fulfil her wish. The interaction between the multiracial community was tense at that
time and many were injured from the riot that arisen. That had greatly affected the
country's economic as well as socioeconomic development. The rate of poverty
worsened and many could hardly make ends meet. 

Having a soft spot for the poor community, Ms. Rosy could not turn a deaf ear to
their plights. She decided to break the ice and she conveyed her wish to serve the
Asian community. Just as she had excepted, her parents refused to permit her to do
so. The only option that she had is to leave the house, leave the country without her
parent's support. She was only 18 but she could make such a brave and matured
decision. 

Ms. Rosy booked an one-way flight to Malaysia with the savings that she had. The
lifestyle in Malaysia was totally different from that in London. The racial stiffness and
conflict were still there but she did not care about that and started her social work. At
first, the locals were a bit reluctant to accept her but soon they understood her true
intentions. She developed a bond with the suffering local people. She tried
everything she could to ease their lives. However, without financial support from her
family, she could not help them much. So, she decided to reach out to wealthy locals
for some donation. Most people did not even have the time to listen to her
explanation but there was this guy whose family owned a network of companies
arranged a formal meeting with her. 

"Good morning, Mr...." 

"Henry." 

"Okay, Mr. Henry. Just give me 10 minutes and I'll explain everything that I have
been doing." 

"There is no necessity. Here you go." 

"Ten thousand? Don't you need prove?" 

"No. I trust you. No one betrays me. No one." 

"Ok. Thank you, Mr. Henry. We really appreciate it." 

He gave the money not to help the poor but he had feelings for Ms. Rosy. He got
himself involved in social works with the intention to impress her. They spent more
and more time together and eventually she fell for him. They tied the knot when she
was 20. They lived happily but for some reason Ms. Rosy could not get pregnant.
Doctors believed that Mr. Henry had some problems with his fertility. Heartbroken,
he started to get drunk and returned home at late night as he could not face Ms.
Rosy. He abandoned his responsibility as a husband. Life was difficult for her. She
had to work to earn her daily bread. 

Mr. Henry, on the other hand, slept around. He barely came home after that. It was
then when Ms. Rosy bumped into an ex-convict who had been scavenging for food.
She sympathised him and got him a job. However, he had no home so Rosy asked
him to stay over at her house since Henry was no around for most of the time. 
 Chapter 8: Misunderstanding

The guy, Danny took up Henry's obligations. He was really helpful to Rosy. All the
neighbours suspected her for having an affair with Danny. Soon, Henry heard
through grapevines about these. He immediately confronted them and kicked Danny
out of the house. He even let loose a torrent of profanity that would have made the
most hardened sailor blush. He was drunk and it was obviously the effect of the beer
muscles but it was not right to treat a guest in such way. Disappointed with his
behaviour, Rosy left with Danny. Her action made Henry even more fed up. 

Rosy and Danny managed to rent a house on the outskirts of the city. Both of them
worked hard to look after their welfare. They did almost everything together but there
was no intimacy between them, in fact, they considered themselves as siblings. The
society out there, however, will always think the bad out of anything. 

Soon enough, Rosy got pregnant. Everyone thought it to be Danny's but only Rosy
and Danny knew about the truth. Rosy called her husband to inform him about this
but he hung up on her. Rosy would never have the heart to abort the baby so she
decided to raise her. It was tough for them as they had a lot commitments and the
existence of the newborn added to their burden. Since Henry was not ready to
accept his baby, the father’s information was left blank in the birth certificate.

However, they did not want the child to be deprived of a father's love and care so
they decided to put up an act in front of the baby as though Danny is her father. The
toddler calling him 'Dada' confirmed suspicions that they were having an affair.
Everyone in the town conspired to eject them out of the town. No one was willing
lend a hand to them. They did this because they did not want Danny and Rosy
spread immoral activities to the local people. They jumped into a conclusion without
even asking them in the first place. 

Rosy and Danny could not leave the place as it was the cheapest deal ever. They
had to put up with the predicaments. This the problem faced by most of us. When we
hear a news, we tend to believe not knowing whether it's true or just a concocted
story. The information and news are too much that people fail to analyse it. The
same thing happened in Rosy and Danny's lives. Everyone, including her husband
believed that Rosy and Danny were having an intimate relationship. 
 Chapter 9: Betrayal and Murder

It was one of the difficult days when Henry called up. Rosy were reluctant to start
over but her soft heart melted when he profusely apologised to her. Little did her
know that there was a hidden agenda with that. She believed that he had turned over
a new leaf and went home. Danny could smell something fishy but he could not
speak it out as he knew he was a nobody in a husband-wife relationship. Upon
leaving, Rosy promised that she would pay him a visit every weekend. 

Although Rosy was at her thirties but she was still too naive and she did not know
about the deceptions awaiting her. She entered the home where she used to spend
happy moments with Henry. She was so excited about reliving her life. Henry,
however was all set with his plan to....murder! 

   "Shiiiing! Shiiiing! Shiiiing!" 

   "What are you doing my dear?" 

  

   "I'm...sharpening this blunt knife. You know what, blunt knife cannot produce
enough pressure."

"Come on, stop showing off that you got an A in Physics during your schooldays." 

"No, I'm serious. It won't be sufficient to kill a person." 

"I got it, that's why you have dressed to kill, isn't it?"

"You are too naive my dear." 

"I'm starving! Stop talking nonsense, please. Let's have our dinner." 
"Where's our child anywhere?" 

"She's in the cradle." 

"What we are going to have tonight? There is nothing here." 

"We have been apart for so long and now we are going to make up for it." 

Swish......

With a cunning smile, he whispered, "No one betrays me. No one." 

Rosy collapsed to the floor. He also wanted to kill the child but he couldn't so he let
her to die there alone. Furthermore, he had another plan to cover up his crime by
making the neighbours think that Rosy ran away with Danny and left the child alone
in the house. So, he cleaned up all the evidences and buried the dead body in the
backyard. He left the country afterwards. 
 Chapter 10: The Conclusion

I could not really digest her narration. My inquisition was uncontrollable at the
moment. 

"If Mum is dead, then who you are?" 

She did not speak for a few seconds, then she added, "I am your aunt, your mother's
twin sister. I was away for further studies when all these happened. When I found out
that your mum left to Malaysia, I came here to visit her and to bring her back. Your
mum had a wide network here. Everyone here thought me as her. From there, I got
to know that your mum had ran away with another guy but after seeing me they felt
relieved. Some even asked about the whereabouts of her kid. I went to the house
and was shocked to see you half-dead in the cradle. You were rushed to the
hospital. The whole world, including you believed that I was Rosy and I became your
mum. But I never knew that you mum was murdered and buried in our house until an
hour ago." 

"What do you mean 'until an hour ago'?" 

"I....I saw her. She told me everything and asked me to save you from your cruel
father and that's how we knew about you being kidnapped." 

Mr Danny also added, "I also experienced the same thing and that's why I brought
you to my home to keep you safe for some time." 

I hoped that it was just a nightmare but it wasn't. It was a cold, hard truth but I had to
accept and admit it. I, somehow, understood my prolonged questions has been
hurting her. I embraced her warmly, hoping to make her feel better. 

"Mum. Will you still be my mum?" I begged. 

"Of course. I am your mum and I will always be your mum. Nothing can change that."
She tried to reply nonchalantly but warm tears kept falling down her face. 

I had another question in my mind and I shot my mouth off right then. 

"Mr. Danny, will you be my ...Dad?" 

Both Mum and Mr. Danny stared at each other as though they were asking each
other's opinion on this.

I knew it was a tough decision but I believe he can be my best father. I hated being
treated as an illegitimate daughter. Anyway, he agreed and soon they got married. 

Present day....

It has been two years since the unfortunate incident. I am now standing in front of my
mother's grave. I have spent fifteen years not knowing about my biological mother at
all. However, now I got a complete family - a loving and caring parents. My mum
sacrificed a lot for me and now I need to do something for her. I am going to
reconcile her with her family. Today will be my last day in Malaysia and I am going to
London for further studies and I am confident that I can track down her family.