Sex, Lies and Consent
Sex, Lies and Consent
Sex, Lies and Consent
Tom Dougherty
How wrong is it to deceive someone into sex by lying, say, about one’s profession?
The answer is seriously wrong when the liar’s actual profession would be a deal
breaker for the victim of the deception: this deception vitiates the victim’s sexual
consent, and it is seriously wrong to have sex with someone while lacking his or
her consent.
I. DECEITFUL SEDUCTION
* Many thanks to Elizabeth Barnes, Eamonn Callan, Nathaniel Coleman, Chiara Cor-
delli, Helena DeBres, Corinne Gartner, Dan Halliday, Seth Lazar, RJ Leland, Julia Markovits,
Kristi Olson, James Quedado, Grant Rozeboom, Debra Satz, Paulina Sliwa, Quayshawn
Spencer, Jean Thomas, Ekaterina Vavova, Kenny Walden, Caroline West, classes at Amherst
College and Wellesley College, participants in the 2011 Ethics in Society Post-doc Work-
shop and 2012 Political Theory Workshop at Stanford University, and audiences at the 2011
Rocky Mountain Ethics Conference and 2012 Australasian Association of Philosophy Con-
ference.
1. “The Big Lies People Tell in Online Dating,” http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php
/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/ ðaccessed on February 1, 2013Þ.
717
We should understand this thesis as the claim that there are some trivial
aspects of one’s identity, about which it is not seriously wrong to deceive
4. Some commentators have thought that promises, e.g., of marriage would not con-
stitute deception about the sexual encounter, since the promises concern the future rather
than the present sexual encounter. But this overlooks the fact that “one who makes a
promise of love and marriage to another also conveys something much more concrete—a
statement of fact about a matter of which the speaker has special knowledge. In avowing
such feelings, the speaker represents that his heart and mind are at that moment filled with
the committed intentions and deep emotions of which he speaks.” Moreover, someone’s
intentions affect the nature of the sexual encounter: casual sex is different from sex where
parties have further romantic intentions. Jane E. Larson, “Women Understand So Little,
They Call My Good Nature ‘Deceit’: A Feminist Rethinking of Seduction,” Columbia Law
Review 93 ð1993Þ: 374–472, at 466–67.
5. There is an orthogonal controversy about whether consent consists in one’s mental
attitudes or one’s communications. I will not engage in this debate here, but in passing I
would note that this example shows that if the communications view is correct, then we must
interpret someone’s communications on the basis of her underlying intentions. If I say, “you
may carry out your plans,” then the phrase “your plans” concerns what you actually plan. But
I do not properly consent because I do not intend to permit you to dye my hair pink. For
“mental-attitude” accounts of consent, see Heidi Hurd, “The Moral Magic of Consent,” Legal
Theory 2 ð1996Þ: 121–46; Larry Alexander, “The Moral Magic of Consent II,” Legal Theory 2
ð1996Þ: 165–74. For “communication” accounts, see Wertheimer, Consent to Sexual Relations;
Joan McGregor, Is It Rape? On Acquaintance Rape and Taking Women’s Consent Seriously ðAl-
dershot: Ashgate, 2005Þ.
6. Wertheimer, Consent to Sexual Relations, 199.
7. Although claiming not to have “resolved the question as to when consent to sexual
relations should be regarded as” morally valid ð213Þ, Wertheimer’s position is close to the
one I defend, as he maintains that as “a general principle, we might think that A’s deception
should generally undermine the moral and transformative power of consent because it
precludes B from being able to decide whether engaging in sex with A is in her interests or
compatible with her values. As a moral matter, I think this is basically correct” ð193Þ. Wer-
theimer leaves this judgment about sexual consent at the level of intuition, which is a
controversial dialectical ploy, given the popularity of the Lenient Thesis. I hope to buttress
this judgment by contributing arguments in its defense. However, as we will shortly see,
Wertheimer would disagree with my claim that all nonconsensual sex is seriously wrong;
instead, he maintains that the seriousness of the wrong depends on the expected harm
involved to a victim. Wertheimer, Consent to Sexual Relations.
8. Catharine MacKinnon argues that rape laws should be reformed so that the concept
of consent does not feature in them. On her proposal, rape should be conceived of as forced
sex. MacKinnon, “Feminism, Marxism, Method and the State,” Signs: Journal of Women in
Culture and Society 8 ð1982Þ: 635–58, at 650, 655. However, perhaps the majority position is
that rape should be defined in terms of the absence of consent. See, e.g., Susan Estrich,
“Rape,” Yale Law Journal 95 ð1986Þ: 1087–1184, at 1095–96, 1132–33; David Archard, “The
Wrong of Rape,” Philosophical Quarterly 57 ð2007Þ: 374–93; McGregor, Is It Rape?
9. Stephen Schulhofer argues that there are evidential problems in establishing
whether someone culpably deceived another into sex, and there are difficulties in framing a
law that penalizes only seriously wrong misconduct. Additionally, he suggests that the law
may be influenced by the fact that victims of deception are partially self-deceived, believing
and not believing at the same time, and they may indeed welcome some forms of deception
as part of the fantasy of erotic experience. While these issues remain unresolved, Schulhofer
suggests that “it may be too soon to reach a judgment about the kinds of misleading com-
ments that should be considered illegal in matters of sexual intimacy. . . . It may be pref-
erable ½as a matter of law to leave to the individual the decision whether to believe, whether
to rely, and whether to assume the risk of deception by trusting the other party.” Similarly,
Wertheimer maintains that the “permissive approach to sexual deception embodied in the
law may derive in part from ‘line-drawing’ difficulties” concerning how to distinguish
“morally serious deceptions” from “puffing” or “storytelling,” and in part from “evidentiary
difficulties” in establishing what the deceiver said and whether he was intending to deceive.
In light of these points, with respect to the law, Werthemier suggests that “for ‘administrative
reasons’ it may be sensible to assign the burden of fraud to dispensers of information in the
commercial arena and to the recipients of fraud in the sexual arena.” Stephen Schulhofer,
Unwanted Sex ðCambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1998Þ, 154–58; Wertheimer, Con-
sent to Sexual Relations, 199–204.
10. Thanks to an anonymous reviewer for pressing me to clarify my methodology here.
11. Robin West, “Sex, Law and Consent,” in The Ethics of Consent: Theory and Practice, ed.
Franklin G. Miller and Alan Wertheimer ðOxford: Oxford University Press, 2010Þ, 221–50.
12. Estrich, “Rape”; John Gardner and Stephen Shute, “The Wrongness of Rape,” in
Oxford Essays in Jurisprudence, ed. J. Horder ðOxford: Oxford University Press, 2000Þ; Arch-
ard, “The Wrong of Rape.”
13. Joan McGregor, “Force, Consent, and the Reasonable Woman,” in Coleman and
Buchanan, In Harm’s Way, 236. See also McGregor, Is It Rape?
14. Here I broadly follow Judith Jarvis Thomson’s landmark account in her The Realm
of Rights ðCambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1990Þ.
15. Most rights theorists allow that there are usually some benefits that justify infringing
a right, although they deny that maximizing utility is always a justification. But even when
infringing is permissible, the right leaves a “moral residue” in the need for an apology and
possible compensation; ibid., 84.
16. A fully detailed explanation of rights’ stringency would take us into an orthogonal
controversy between so-called interest theories and will theories about whether rights pro-
tect our interests or our choices. My point is neutral with respect to this debate. Both sides
accept that our rights over our sex lives are more stringent than our rights over our lawns,
and that this is explained in the fact that lawn trespass is less important to us than bodily
trespass. For a recent discussion of the debate between these two theories, see Matthew H.
Kramer, N. E. Simmonds, and Hillel Steiner, A Debate over Rights ðOxford: Oxford University
Press, 1998Þ.
Since it is uncontroversial that Alicia, Dewey Dell, and Milady did not
offer morally valid consent to sex, the Consent Explanation correctly pre-
dicts that Benigno, the assistant, and D’Artagnan acted seriously wrongly.
Are other explanations at least as good? Alan Wertheimer outlines
the main alternative: “As a first approximation, we might say that the wrong-
ness of an act is a function of three factors: ð1Þ its expected or ex ante harm
to a victim, ð2Þ A’s culpability for that act, and ð3Þ the actual harmful con-
sequences of A’s act, although ð3Þ is controversial as it turns on the right
view about moral luck.”21 I will call this view the “Harm Explanation”:
Thus stated, the explanation includes the view that the wrongness of a
sexual offense depends only on harm; and it also includes the view that a
sexual act can be wrong simply because it is nonconsensual, but the se-
riousness of the wrong is determined by the amount of harm. Now if a
friend of the Harm Explanation considers violation of consent as a harm,
then the Harm Explanation and the Consent Explanation are consistent.
Therefore, if someone intends the Harm Explanation to be an alternative
to the Consent Explanation, then the relevant harm cannot simply be the
harm of having unwilling sex. Instead, one would have to point to harms
like physical harms, experiential harms, and ensuing psychological harms.
For Wertheimer, the crucial morally relevant type of harm is experien-
tial harm, and so sexual deception is wrong when the action “is of a type
that is likely to lead to experiential harm even though A’s action has not
harmed B in this case.”22 Consequently, Wertheimer’s view entails a view
of deceiving someone into sex that is different from the one I am defend-
ing. Wertheimer takes a hard line with deception that is likely to result in
experiential distress, but he is unwilling to judge that someone pretend-
ing to have a Harvard degree has committed a serious offense, even if his
lie has “causal impact” on the victim’s decision to have sex.23
The Harm Explanation is particularly attractive with respect to co-
ercive sex, which is typically conceived of as sex obtained by physical force
21. Wertheimer, Consent to Sexual Relations, 96. For another view that ties “moral gravity”
to “differences in degree of harm,” see Joel Feinberg, “Victims’ Excuses: The Case of Fraud-
ulently Procured Consent,” Ethics 96 ð1986Þ: 330–45, at 341.
22. Wertheimer, Consent to Sexual Relations, 203.
23. Ibid., 192.
24. But why only threats of physical harm? For an argument that threats of psychologi-
cal harm can vitiate consent, see Sarah Conly, “Seduction, Rape, and Coercion,” Ethics 115
ð2004Þ: 96–121.
25. Their counterexample to the Harm Explanation is drug-induced “utterly harmless
rape perpetrated on a sexually aroused but somatic victim and leaving no trace on her
memory or body.” Gardner and Shute, “The Wrongness of Rape,” 198.
26. Wertheimer, Consent to Sexual Relations.
27. The same points could be made about deception by means of spousal imperson-
ation. However, cases of undetectable impersonation are rare, with twin impersonation
cases being the most realistic. For an actual example of twin impersonation, see Falk, “Rape
by Fraud,” 67.
And I speculate that people hold this view because they think that the de-
ceiver would have the victim’s morally valid consent. I will offer three sub-
arguments to the contrary.
28. As such, this premise is acceptable to different theorists who operate with distinct
conceptions of morally valid consent. Thanks to an anonymous reviewer for pressing me to
address this point.
29. David Archard adopts an approach along these lines, which is based on a gradable
notion of voluntariness: “There are aspects of a sexual act—what, why, and with whom—
about which, and there are also degrees to which, a person may be misled in respect of that
act. The more completely a person is misled, the less willingly she can be said to engage in
that act, and the more wronged she is if she does engage in that act. She is wronged to the
extent that her will is not implicated in the act and it does not express her free choices” ð50Þ.
This allows Archard to maintain that false proclamations of love need not vitiate sexual
consent, on the grounds that this deception is slight enough that the will of the deceived is
still sufficiently “implicated.” But this analysis is inconsistent with Archard’s own account of
the requirement of informed consent. Here Archard states that “the person does not need
to know everything, only everything that would make a real difference to whether or not she
consented” ð46Þ. This claim is in tension with the gradable voluntariness approach since
the claim implies that all forms of deceiving someone into sex are nonconsensual. This is
because ignorance of any deal-breaker makes “a real difference to whether or not” one
consents. So if false proclamations of love lead to someone being deceived into sex, then
she does not validly consent. Her will is opposed to the encounter, given it is an encounter
with someone who does not love her, and this is enough to make it the case that she does
not validly consent. David Archard, Sexual Consent ðOxford: Westview, 1998Þ.
30. This loosely parallels the legal distinction mentioned by Joel Feinberg between
“deception about what is consented to and deception about collateral matters for the pur-
pose of inducing the victim to consent.” As Rollin Perkins puts it, deception about the na-
ture of the sexual act—“fraud in the factum”—vitiates legal consent, on the grounds that
“what happened is not that for which consent was given.” But deception about collateral
matters of fact—“fraud in the inducement”—does not vitiate legal consent. Stephen Schul-
hofer notes that in practice only two forms of deception are generally recognized as being
punished by law—“fraud as to the nature of the act and impersonation of a woman’s hus-
band.” Spousal impersonation counts on the grounds that it changes the nature of the sex-
ual act into adultery. The law goes wrong, in my view, in ignoring the fact that the other
person is a constituent of the sexual act. Rollin M. Perkins, Perkins on Criminal Law, 1st ed.
ðNew York: Foundation, 1957Þ, 856; Feinberg, “Victims’ Excuses,” 331; Stephen Schulhofer,
“Taking Sexual Autonomy Seriously: Rape Law and Beyond,” Law and Philosophy 11 ð1992Þ:
35–94, at 88.
31. Rick Bragg, “Ex-Wife Is Suing Cuba over a Spy’s Deception,” New York Times, August
15, 1999 ðaccessed on February 1, 2013 at http://www.nytimes.com/1999/08/15/us/ex-wife
-is-suing-cuba-over-a-spy-s-deception.htmlÞ; Rob Evans and Paul Lewis, “Former Lovers of Un-
dercover Officers Sue Police over Deceit,” Guardian, December 16, 2011 ðaccessed on Feb-
ruary 1, 2013, at http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/dec/16/lovers-undercover-officers
-sue-policeÞ; Jo Adetunji and Harriet Sherwood, “Arab Guilty of Rape after Consensual Sex
with Jew,” Guardian, July 21, 2010 ðaccessed on February 1, at http://www.guardian.co.uk
/world/2010/jul/21/arab-guilty-rape-consensual-sex-jewÞ.
32. Considering sex by means of false promises, Murphy tentatively makes this point
explicitly: “We could coherently conceptualize as rape any sex obtained through fraudulent
inducement so long as the nature of the inducement itself does not provide strong evidence
that the victim does not value sexuality in the way characteristic of the norms we seek to
protect. A woman trading sex for the promise of a mink coat would reveal such deviation
and thereby reveal an interest less worthy of protection.” Murphy, “Women, Violence, and
the Criminal Law,” 222 ðitalics removed from the originalÞ. An editor of Ethics has pointed
out that there is a sense in which my own position rests on a moralized conception of sex,
insofar as I take violations of sexual rights to be serious wrongs. But to be clear, what I am
valuing here is not any particular form of sex but rather individuals’ sexual control over
whom they have sex with and how. And I remain neutral on the grounds of this value, so I am
happy to ground it in the contingent fact that people happen to find this control highly
important to them.
33. McGregor also speculates that “often what is at work is the suggestion that if these
women are so gullible, naive, and stupid, then they get what they deserve when they consent
to fraudulent claims,” McGregor, Is It Rape?, 187.
34. Stephen Schulhofer is here discussing the appropriate “legal protection of auton-
omous choice” in his “Taking Sexual Autonomy Seriously,” 70.
But I wish to press this line of objection further. The explicitness of the
communicated consent shoves into the face of the deceiver the fact that
38. For elaboration of this general point, see, e.g., Alexander, “The Moral Magic of
Consent II.”
Intentions Thesis. The rights that we waive are the rights that we in-
tend to waive.39
The animating thought behind this thesis is the familiar one that rights
are intimately linked to our autonomy and agency. They mark out per-
sonal realms over which we have exclusive control, and our decisions
39. As well as waiving rights, we can also forfeit rights. This forfeiture can be uninten-
tional. For example, a would-be murderer would unintentionally forfeit her right not to be
killed if her victim acts in self-defense. Thanks to editors of Ethics for pressing me to address
this point.
40. Explicit communication is unnecessary. If Aisha tells you that she intends to get a
puppy, then you would infer that it is not the case that she wants to get a rabid puppy.
We assume that conversational participants make utterances that are informative but will
not waste everyone’s time with excessive detail. Since it is common ground that I would not
want a rabid Great Dane in my apartment, I need not mention this explicitly to Aisha, when
communicating the range of my consent to Aisha. Thanks to an anonymous reviewer for
prompting me to address this point.
41. This point holds even when someone has bad reasons for refusing to have sex with
someone. We can all agree that racist prejudice is a morally abhorrent reason for any action.
Nonetheless, when racists only decide to have sex with people of their own race on the basis
of this prejudice, then they are consenting only to sex with people of their own race. When it
comes to consent, we must respect other people’s wills as they actually are, not as they ought
to be.
42. An anonymous reviewer has pointed out that one potential cost of this account of
consent is that it would require our having a grip on how to individuate events and identify
their features. But I doubt any full ethical theory can get away without ever having to in-
dividuate events, and in any event, I suggest that this cost is actually quite slight. Moreover, to
make use of this account of consent, we do not need a fancy theory of the metaphysics of
events. For the most part, we can rely simply on our intuitive judgments about what features
an event has, and ask whether someone would have been happy to go along with the event,
given that it has each of these features.
43. This principle often governs the law’s view of consent when the deception amounts
to “fraud in the factum”—deception concerning the “core nature” of the act. See n. 30.
Perkins, Perkins on Criminal Law, 856.
47. Some people are surprised by an implication of the thesis that culpably deceiving
someone into sex is seriously wrong: two individuals can simultaneously seriously wrong each
other by mutually deceiving each other into sex. But even if this implication is unexpected,
we should accept it. For people can simultaneously wrong each other in the same way. By
analogy, consider a fistfight. Each person may lose the right to complain about the other’s
behavior. But from a bystander’s perspective, we can see that each has acted badly in
assaulting the other. We do not judge their behavior as morally neutral simply because the
other is treating them in the same way.
48. Sarah Buss, “Valuing Autonomy and Respecting Persons: Manipulation, Seduction,
and the Basis of Moral Constraints,” Ethics 115 ð2005Þ: 195–235, at 220–21.
49. Ibid., 221.
50. Ibid., 226.
51. Onora O’Neill, “Between Consenting Adults,” Philosophy and Public Affairs 14
ð1985Þ: 252–77, at 269.
52. This touches on an important issue that is linked to our main topic of deception:
concealment. This raises the question of what duties people have to inform their sexual
partners about themselves to avoid false beliefs about deal breakers. But this question is a
nuanced one. Toward the goal of mutually consensual sex, some epistemic labor may be
required on both sides. If someone has a highly idiosyncratic sexual preference—say, he
only wants to sleep with people whose star sign is Pisces—then it may be his responsibility to
disclose this preference, rather than his partner’s responsibility to inquire into whether he
has this preference.
53. Schulhofer, “Taking Sexual Autonomy Seriously,” 54.
54. Thanks to an anonymous reviewer for stressing the need for me to address these
putative disanalogies.
55. Judith Jarvis Thomson, “A Defense of Abortion,” Philosophy and Public Affairs 1
ð1971Þ: 47–66, at 59.
V. CONCLUSION
To summarize, I have argued that deceiving someone into sex vitiates her
consent to sex, and it is seriously wrong to have sex without someone’s
valid consent to sex. Therefore, deceiving someone into sex is seriously
wrong. The seriousness of this wrong is widely recognized when the de-
ception involves, say, spousal impersonation. But it is wrongly overlooked
in the case of run-of-the-mill deception.