Craziest Mother Fucking Story. Ever.

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The story describes a man secretly filming a girl named Heather and witnessing an intimate moment develop between her and another girl named Lexy. It then takes a strange turn involving characters from computer science.

Heather and Lexy develop a romantic relationship after Lexy makes an unexpected visit to Heather's room. The man filming them seems intrigued and aroused by what happens between them.

Lexy kisses Heather and confesses her attraction, leading to an intimate encounter between the two girls under the covers.

It had been a few weeks since I had those cameras installed in her

room without her knowing, and to my surprise I still hadn't seen


anything. I kept the video recording every night just in case, though
generally I would just get some bad angles on schlicking or lots of
sleep. Sometimes it did comfort me to watch her sleep, she was so cute
with her eyes closed and so relaxed, like everything was okay. I was
just sitting down at my computer with a nice warm glass of cocoa,
getting ready to fast forward through the footage of the last day, when
I spotted something I hadn't expected, someone else was in her room for
once! I didn't suspect much, but you never know, so I rewound until the
part where she first came in.

"Heather, you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, wait, what are you doing here, Lexy?"

"Shh, calm down I just wanted to see why you weren't at school
today, some of us were worried about you, you haven't been yourself
lately and when you didn't come back today I just thought I would come
by and see if everything was all right."

"Yeah, it's fine, I've just been a little down lately, I'll be
fine, don't worry about me."

Blah blah blah, the normal shit, I was getting ready to keep moving
when Lexy leaned in and started stroking Heather's perfect black hair.
The smile on her face was telling of something more than care.
Something might be happening here, I nervously sipped my cocoa and
pulled a blanket around me. This might get interesting! Heather's eyes
gaped inquisitively at Lexy, not quite understanding the gesture, when
Lexy leaned in and kissed Heather's forehead, not just a peck, she
lingered. Several moments passed before she pulled away, and even then,
barely a foot. Hanging closely to Heather's face, she stared deeply
into those crystalline pools, those windows to her soul. Heather
stifled a shudder, seemingly trying to avoid jumping on a false chance.
But alas, Lexy moved in, pressing her lips to Heather's she led Heather
back down to laying in the bed. Lexy peeled her soft lips away from
Heather's and left their noses together, she teasingly rubbed hers
across Heather's as she confessed, "Actually I had been wanting this
for a while, I just found the excuse to come over and take what I
wanted." Heather smiled, but still wondered, "You never even made a
move, you never said anything, why now?"

"Nobody knows I like girls and I want to keep it that way, as long
as they don't I can slide through school quietly, no weird girls or
horny guys wanting to see me make out. I thought I could make it
through okay, but you, you introduced yourself. I was fixated, I
couldn't get my eyes or my mind off of you, I had to see you, even if
just like this."

All Heather could do was smile and kiss Lexy again, trying to keep
from thinking it was a dream, I assumed. Lexy's hand moved to Heather's
breast, Heather's hand to Lexy's waist, holding her close, not letting
go. Lexy crawled up on top of Heather, and Heather let her into the
covers with her. I would have been disappointed, but I knew if this is
to go anywhere, those covers will be gone before long. Lexy's own silky
black strands stroked Heather's beautiful face, as their lips met in
unison, the sound of their parting nearly causing me to pine for them,
falling in love with their story, every move that they made.

I could nearly feel their precious lips as they peeled from each
other with each passing kiss, I almost sensed the touching of their
tongues, their hands wherever they went, I could tell, even now they
were in ecstasy. Heather's free hand crept up Lexy's back to finger
that wondrous head of hair. I couldn't believe what I had here, it was
gold. So many angles, so much passion, I had never felt this involved
in a story in my life, I wanted to be a part of it so bad, I couldn't
believe it. This session soon slowed down, and I was becoming
disappointed, hoping that was not where it ended.

"Hold on Heather, this feels wonderful and all, but you know what
would feel better?"

"What?" Asked Heather, invested in the answer.

"If we could feel each other," Lexy breathed, leaning back and
straddling Heather, pulling her black hoody off, then her shirt, all
that was left was her lacy black bra, but she left it on for effect,
"Now your turn, Heather," Lexy helped Heather pull her shirt off, and
grasped her breast in her left hand, bracing herself against the
headboard with her left. She pressed into another kiss, far more
heartfelt than before, I turned my volume up to make sure I could hear
everything, this was amazing. Heather reached back and managed to
unsnap Lexy's bra with one hand, looked almost like she had practiced.
Lexy pulled away and gave Heather the cutest shy grin, and pulled
Heather up so she could help Heather off with hers. Immediately upon
getting her bra off, Heather took both of Lexy's perky breasts in her
small hands and began to massage them, taking one nipple into her
mouth, she toyed with it with her tongue, then she moved to the other
side, biting it.

You could see the chill burst up Lexy's back as she arched from the
pleasure of such tasteful pain. Lexy's wrist bands clanked and shook,
the metal on metal sound of her spikes reminding her they were there.
She brought those spikes around, embracing Heather and pulling tight,
digging them into her back, Heather's back arched, and Lexy's nipple
was still in her teeth, so Lexy screamed, expecting to feel the worst
pain, it instead translated into the most intense pleasure. After
regaining some composure, she grabbed Heather's head and forcefully
pulled her into an incredibly deep kiss, giving ME chills. Lexy stood
up on the bed and unbuttoned her pants. The weight of all the metal on
the pants pulled them off without a hitch, her lacy panties matching
the bra that now lay on the floor.

"I want you Heather, and I want you now," Lexy said, pulling
Heather up onto her feet. Lexy got down and pulled Heather's pajamas
and panties off in one stroke, leading Heather back down to the bed. As
I had figured, the sheets no longer mattered, this had heated up to
where they were not needed. Lexy got on top again and kissed Heather,
she moved to Heather's neck, kissing down to the front, nipping here
and there.

Her hands grasped Heather's breasts as she gave a firm bite to each
one, sending Heather into fits of bliss. Lexy shot a glance up that was
easily read as "just you wait." She moved further down, tonguing
Heather's navel, playing right beneath it, knowing it as a sensitive
area. Her lips caressed Heather's skin in soft touches until she
reached her pelvis. The sweat, however little had been let out so far,
was intoxicating, and Lexy dove in face first, her tongue lashing
accurately about Heather's clitoris, the wonderful sensation unlike
anything she had ever felt, from man OR woman. Lexy's hands graced
Heather's hips, softly stroking them, then gripping them roughly,
scratching with her nails. Heather tried not to scream, but it was too
great a feeling to resist, her passionate wails sending me into a
frenzy...

"Oh shut up you knew this whole time what I was doing." Lexy
quickly took her clawed hands, and pressed Heather's legs further apart
to get a better angle, and to scratch Heather where she knew it would
feel the greatest. In an instant, Heather came, she couldn't hold it in
after that last scratch, Lexy was just too good, and too beautiful,
Lexy came up and gave Heather that cute shy grin again, and Heather
grabbed Lexy by the arm, throwing her into the headboard, and pulling
off that sexy lace piece she was wearing. Heather went in deep, Lexy's
hands were instantly on Heathers head, groping and feeling, trying to
make sense of the sensation that was driving her wild.

Her head bucked back and hit the wall more than once, her wild
black hair flailing against the throes, lashing at the wall. Her body
convulsed, squeezed, tightened, relaxed, twitched, sputtered, and
turned every which way possible, Heather's black magic was a force to
be reckoned with, and Lexy had met her day of reckoning. In mere
moments Heather had her orgasming once, twice, and thrice, one after
the other without pause. Lexy screamed with delight, not even being
able to form a proper word to describe her state. Heather leaned back
up and pressed into a kiss, slamming Lexy's head into the wall just one
last time. They both started to laugh through the kiss, completely
satiated, and completely satisfied.

"That was fucking amazing," Heather exhaled, finally. The first


words in the last ten minutes it seemed.

"I know, you, you really know what you are doing, Heather, I wanted
this badly, but I had no idea what I was getting into."

Heather smiled wide and laughed, "You're not so bad yourself, I


wish you had just said something, we could have started doing this a
lot sooner."

"I almost do, too, but no worries, we are here now, nothing can
change that."
Heather sighed and leaned into Lexy's warm body, curling up and
laying her chest in Lexy's lap. Lexy leaned over and pulled the blanket
over Heather, "Do you think we can do this again?" Lexy asked.

"The fuck kind of question is that?!" Heather exclaimed, "Of


fucking course we can! We have to!"

Lexy just chuckled and yawned, and the two fell asleep together,
quietly and calmly. I watched for a few minutes and figured it was all
over, I was shocked, I was in disbelief, had this just happened? It was
like a wonderful dream, the kind you would be afraid to wake up from,
but it was real. Needless to say I have been watching ever since, it's
like a good soap opera. Fuck, hold up, it is a good soap opera, because
it can't be "like" something that doesn't yet exist. I listen to the
phone conversations, I watch them make love, it's more than a man could
ever dream of. I only wish every man could have this kind of emotional
experience.

A few days had passed since I left my tie at Heather's, and I had
almost forgot when she finally called. "Sakai-kun, you left your tie at
my place, are you going to come pick it up?" She teased, not a question
in my mind that the tie was only the excuse for her to get something
else out of this. It didn't really matter how long it took me, so I
figured I would make her wait a little bit while I got dressed. I
headed on over, by now it was getting a little dark outside. I stepped
in, by now comfortable enough with her house to know I could pass in
and out any time. "Where you at, Heather?" I asked, even though I had a
pretty good idea where she was. "We're in here!" I heard from the
bedr-- wait, we? Oh shit, this again? I wonder who she has with her. I
walked into the room and both Heather and Lexy came up to me, their
hands immediately exploring my chest, they both bit down on my neck, my
knees buckled and I collapsed onto the bed. They sat on either side of
me and stroked my arms, extending them over my head. *Click!*... "What
was that?" I asked, coy, and curious.

"Handcuffs, you've been a naughty boy." Heather curled into my ear.


It was so sexy, but then Lexy walked across the room to pick something
up. I couldn't tell at first, but then she brought it closer.

"Uhhhh, what's that?" I asked, nervously trying to play it off like


I didn't know. It was one of the cameras I had installed in the room.

"Don't play stupid!" Lexy exclaimed, shoving the sharp part of the
camera into my chest. I let out a howl of pain, it hurt so good, I
couldn't contain myself. Heather leaned down, seemingly, to kiss me,
but instead bit my lip as hard as she could, I yelled again. "Damnit
why are you doing this!?" I screamed.

"You invaded my privacy, but I can't exactly give up what we have


going just yet, so I have to make you put up proper punishment for what
you did." She dug her claws deeply into my ribcage right on the last
word. By now I could stifle the screams, but I had to hold my breath.
Lexy started dragging the broken end of the camera across my chest
without mercy, I whimpered but held back tears. Suddenly Heather
grabbed my shirt and ripped it off my chest. I don't mean lifted, I
mean she tore it apart. In moments Heather was dragging her hand up and
down my chest, but what I felt didn't feel like skin.

Suddenly a jolt went through my entire body. Instantly I knew it


was a taser. "DON'T TAZE ME, BRO!" I screamed instinctively. Not fair,
Heather, not fair. She just kept stroking my chest, then shocking me in
different places. First it would be my nipple, then it would be my
underarm, then my kidneys. She was relentless, my body couldn't handle
what she was dishing out, or so I thought, but she kept going, and I
was still conscious.

As a matter of fact, I was more than conscious, unlike Robert


Dziekanski. The dragon beneath the waves was awakening, and in the
midst of all her scratching, Lexy was taking notice. First she took off
her studded belt, folding it over and holding it in one hand, then she
started unbuttoning my pants, Heather was watching, and shocking me,
still. Lexy threw them off me, leaning over my manhood. She breathed on
it at first, just teasing me, then when I exhaled with pleasure she sat
up in anger and whipped my chest with her belt. I could see where this
was going. She instantly went down on me, handing the belt to Heather.
Heather kept her nails dug into my chest, waiting for me to relax, to
look like I was enjoying it, unfortunately Lexy was too good not to,
and Heather was waiting when my face contorted in pleasure. The belt
came down again, this time a little harder. I screamed again, fighting
the cuffs, but not being able to go anywhere. Heather didn't like that
either and whipped me. "You will take it the way we give it, and every
time you try to fight or relax, you will be punished." Heather
explained, I whimpered for effect and she hit me again.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying this, but to say I was


might have also been a stretch, I didn't know what was going on in my
head, but I knew it wasn't over. It was far from over. When Heather was
satisfied that I was being obedient, she slid off the bed and took her
pants off. She climbed over my face and grabbed me by the hair, shoving
my head into her wet pussy. She'd been enjoying this and she wanted
more. I did as I was told and began to eat her out. Her juices dripped
off my chin, and I had no way to stop the drooling, because I had no
control over my own motions. Heather had that. Slowly Lexy slid off me,
then crawled up on the bed, sliding down my meatpole. She started
bouncing, slowly at first, and massaging Heather's shoulders, both as a
balance and to feel her sensuous skin. Lexy had the belt back and was
wasting no time making sure I was still paying attention. I got three
straight slaps to the stomach for moaning into Heather. It hurt, but my
cock was throbbing intensely with each hit. Lexy kept riding and
massaging until she noticed I was about to come. Instantly she pulled
off me and pulled Heather off me. They both WHALED on my chest once,
just to stop me from orgasming. It worked, then they turned to each
other and started kissing. It was so hot but I couldn't reach my own
PENIS to take care of the ecstasy.

First Heather's shirt came off, then Lexy's. Their hands were all
over each other, their tongues swirling like a violent tornado. Heather
led Lexy over to the bed, where she positioned Lexy on her hands and
knees, her head over me. Heather got underneath and began to tongue
Lexy. Instantly Lexy's face fell onto my chest. Her soft, onyx hair
sprawled across my chest was a welcome sensation compared to all the
rest of it. Then suddenly she bit down on me. Not just a wimpy bite,
she chomped on my stomach. I screamed bloody murder practically, and
Lexy came all over Heather's face. Lexy reached down and pulled Heather
up so she was leaning against me, then slid down to Heather's waist.
She flicked her tongue around Heather's sensitive clit, meanwhile
Heather helped herself to digging her claws into my chest to balance
the pleasure. In seconds she was coming. But no, it didn't end there.
Heather crawled up onto me, pulling Lexy up with her.

Lexy lay on top of me on her back, her cute butt right in my face.
Then Heather positioned herself in the 69 on top of Lexy. They started
going at it, and I was feeling vengeful, so I poked my tongue in her
ass to disrupt her sensations. Instead she squealed and ordered me to
do it again. I refused, but Heather grabbed me by the hair and shoved
me into it. I couldn't help it, Lexy's butt was too cute and I couldn't
get out of this, so I went buckwild on her. Heather took care of the
upper half, and soon Lexy was coming again, this time it sprayed all
over the wall behind me. It was so hot, she just squealed with delight,
and Heather, dazzled by the display, let out her own orgasm, though
admittedly not anything like Lexy's. The whole thing slowed down, but
they wouldn't get off me, it was so hot and I couldn't do anything
about it. I couldn't reach to take care of myself. I was stuck.
Eventually, when Lexy noticed I had finally lost my drive, they got off
me and let me go.

"Goddamn, where did you girls learn to hit like that?" I mused,
upset, but still turned on.

"We're just fuckin' strong," Heather bit back, "And we had better
not ever catch another camera in this room, or we're looking for you,
Sakai-kun."

"Well... with that out of the way... is there any chance we


could... uhhh... do this again?" The girls looked at me in shock, not
understanding what I was expressing.

"Are you saying... you liked that?" Lexy asked.

"Well... I can't say I didn't, it was definitely interesting, and I


would be interested in trying it again..."

"Then let's fuckin' do it, damnit!" Heather exclaimed as I stood up


from the bed. "Where are you going?"

"I've got to go rub this one out." Feeling a little bad, the girls
grabbed my hands and threw me back onto the bed, both of them attacking
my once again throbbing rod with their tongues, an all out tonsil
assault on my bag. After all that had just occurred, it took less than
a minute and I was at climax. I fired off and hit the ceiling and
walls. Nothing came back down.

"Wow, that was... that was something."


The girls laughed, and Heather checked, "You still want to do it
again?"

"Definitely," I said, "Now what do I do for a shirt to get home?"

"You don't have to go anywhere, you've served your time," Lexy


said, leaning into me and taking me down to the bed, cuddling into me
like a big teddy bear. Then Heather did the same on my other side.
"I'll need to leave sometime, but I can stick around for this," I
laughed. I kissed each of the girls on their heads as the angels
delicately fell asleep. To see the peace in their eyes was deceiving of
the events that had happened only moments ago, but given how much I
liked it, I was not about to blame them for any of it.

Suddenly, a huge black snake head materialized out of the air and
stared at us with retarded-looking eyes. In a loud booming voice, it
asked

"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?"

I felt lightheaded and my vision blurred into blackness. The last I


felt were their hands frantically grabbing my PENIS and the scream of
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

I opened my eyes to find myself sitting in a lecture theater, with


a pad of notes in one hand and a pencil in the other. Heather and Lexy
were sitting on opposite sides of me, and I hoped they did not notice I
had just fantasized about them both while I was asleep, nor the fact
that something about my lower body seemed moist.

"And for next time, remember your problem sets are due. Be sure to
read SICP," Professor Gerald Jay Sussman spoke as the class prepared to
leave.

Lifting my notepad from my crotch, I noticed it was wet. "I knew I


shouldn't have done that," I thought to myself as I froze and wondered
what I could do to hide it, especially with the two of them so close. I
thought I could cover it with my backpack, and so I rose from the seat
nervously clutching it in front of me.

As I was about to talk to Lexy, everything suddenly froze like an


overclocked processor. The piece of chalk that The Sussman was going to
drop into the tray remained motionless in the air. Strangely enough, I
found that I could still move amidst this strange situation.

"Hello?" I shouted at Lexy. She remained motionless and solid like


an object when I tried physical force. "What now?" I thought to myself,
wondering whether to grope her or Heather first, or to do something
else.

But before I could decide, the windows of the lecture theater burst
and a girl with long blonde hair and large breasts jumped into the
room, landing near the frozen Sussman.

"Who... who are you?" I asked her.


"I am Asakura, the Herder of the Haskell Nomads," she responded.
"You, a Mystes, have something very important that I want."

"What!?!"

It was already too late. She grabbed me by the shoulder and


retrieved a knife with her other hand.

"Let's see if the rumors of you being the bearer of the Reiji Maigo
are true," she mumbled to herself.

I could feel Asakura lifting her knife up. Where would she start?
The throat arteries, heart? If I knew how I was going to die, I could
at least be prepared. At least let me close my eyes...

I suddenly felt the air shake. The knife began to fall upon me. At
this moment, the ceiling gave out a loud cracking noise, followed by
debris falling down. A loud booming hiss which seemed to sound like
"Have you read your SICP today?" filled the air. I lifted my head and
discovered...

Standing in front, catching the blade with his crotch-snake, was


the robed figure of The Sussman. Standing beside him, with flaming red
hair, was Shana.

"You and your forced indentation." The Sussman said in his usual
expressionless tone, "You think you can defy my power?"

"You want to get in my way?" Asakura sounded calm. "Once I open


this Mystes, the Lord Anal Touring is bound to have some sort of
reaction. Only then can we obtain more cudders."

"You are supposed to be my backup." The Sussman said in a mantra-


like tone, "This sort of insubordination is forbidden; you must obey my
commands."

"What if I refuse?"

"Then I will send you to the land of Java."

"Would you like to try? I have the advantage here, since this
classroom belongs to MIT."

The Sussman removed his wizard hat and set it on the floor before
removing a wand from a pocket on his robe. He pointed it at the knife
in her hand and murmured. Shortly after, it started glowing brightly.
Then, like a sugar cube being placed into a cup of tea, it slowly
crystallized and dissolved and fell towards the floor like powder.

Shana walked over to me and told me not to move.

"We're in a fuzetsu," she explained. "You can move because you have
the power of the Reiji Maigo. But hold still, I'll protect you while
Lord Sussman takes care of her."
Asakura released the knife and jumped five meters away. Opening up
the distance in an instant, Asakura landed elegantly and continued
smiling as usual. The Sussman raised his wand and pointed it directly
at the ceiling, not taking his eyes off Asakura. The wand released a
wave of glowing white parentheses and the space around The Sussman
began to distort.

"It's time for some ENTERPRISE QUALITY!" Asakura cheerfully cried


as she conjured the spirits of the JVM, producing a flood of boiling-
hot coffee that rushed its way towards The Sussman, who stood
motionless, parentheses continuing to issue from his wand like
electromagnetic radiation.

"You think your turkey solutions can stop me?" The Sussman said
calmly before lowering his wand, forming the pool of parentheses now
gathered around him into a sharp pointed cone aimed at Asakura.
Suddenly he shouted "LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISP!" and the parentheses shot
forward into the waves of coffee, pushing the boiling hot liquid back
towards where it came.

"Nooooooo..." her cries became weaker as she became engulfed in the


dark brown liquid. Everything turned black and I felt as though I had
fainted.

I opened my eyes and felt the texture of a keyboard on my face. I


raised my head from the keyboard to find an empty bottle of sleeping
pills I had bought this morning, next to a suicide note. /b/ was open
on the screen, and in the comment field were the lines "It had been a
few weeks since I had those cameras installed in her room without her
knowing, and to my surprise I still hadn't seen anything."

"I knew it. The Sussman wasn't going to let me die before I could
achieve Satori." I thought to myself. "But what was that about a Reiji
Maigo? And why was Shana there too?" I had too many questions, but at
the moment my mind was filled with an overwhelming desire to finish my
story. I finished the post and clicked Submit.

'"Heather, you feeling okay?"'

I continued typing out the next post in reply to the thread. I


continued posting the rest of my story:

"All Heather could do was smile and kiss Lexy again..."

I finished typing out the last post and paused, just before I
clicked Submit. Thinking, I knew it would be all over if I did, since
the unbounded recursion would overflow the stack running this world and
end the universe. But if I didn't, the world would not be complete. I
thought about it once more. To submit or not to submit, that was the
question.

In an instinctive decision I clicked the button.


"Updating page."

I sighed in relief of the fact that I was still here and nothing
abnormal seemed to have had happened. The page reloaded the thread, and
I looked at the post I had just posted:

"Updating page."

I sighed in relief of the fact that I was still here and nothing
abnormal seemed to have had happened. The page reloaded the thread, and
I looked at the post I had just posted:

"Updating page."

I sighed in relief of the fact that I was still here and nothing
abnormal seemed to have had happened. The page reloaded the thread, and
I looked at the post I had just post---

"DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!"

Her scream pierced my ears as I sat there staring at the infinitely


recursive fractal, feeling somewhat strange and pleased with myself.
"This must be what it feels like to achieve Satori," I thought to
myself.

I just sat there, content and happy with a smug grin on my face, as
I watched the screen explode into tiny fragments on contact with
Shana's sword. What was she doing here?

"Hey! You just br--"

"Don't do that again, Sakai-kun..."

She placed her arms around me and pulled herself closer.

As incredible a feeling as it was to have a girl that close to me,


I was still boiling with rage over the loss of my new monitor. I wish I
still had my old CRT...

"But you just broke--" I started screaming at her.

"Don't worry, Sakai-kun," she said in a soft voice, and gathered


the fragments with her hand. "We can use your power of existence to
restore it." In a few seconds my monitor stood there unchanged from its
form only moments ago, displaying the picture of Tidus I had as a
wallpaper.

"My... power of existence? But..."

"You have the Reiji Maigo. Your power of existence will not run
out, unlike the other Torches," she answered.

"But why are you...?"

"I have to keep an eye on you. You are a very special Mystes and
the Guze no Tomogara will be wanting that Hougu of yours."
Suddenly, the same incredible feeling I had earlier returned. With
little provocation my mind seemed to know what to do automatically;

"I HAVE ACHIEVED SATORI!" I screamed.

"Yes, you have now learned how to control and use your power of
existence. Too bad you accidentally turned it into an infinite
recursive loop," Shana said, still holding onto me. "I'll have to train
you more to prevent that from happening again."

"I understand," I said as I refreshed the thread.

"Wait, what's this? Who's posting the rest of my story?"

I stared at the page in confusion as I read the posts from my


would-be-self, which seemed to follow my branching thoughts exactly.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" I shouted at Shana.

"Look, he's mocking you!" Shana remarked as we scrolled through the


posts. See that post?

I became both angry and frustrated. What could have caused this
parallel-me to be formed? And why was he denying me?

"Sorry, but the power of the Reiji Maigo is enormous, even I cannot
comprehend it fully," Shana told me. "It's quite likely that the
appearance of that snakelike Guze no Tomogara triggered this event."

"But... that was... when I was..." I paused, not wanting to tell


Shana of my fantasies with those two. It seemed to also have occurred
while I was in my dreamlike state, which made even less sense. "...What
can we do about it?"

"Like I said, I'm not sure what happened either. But what I am sure
of, is that your alternate identity may pose a threat to the balance of
this world," Shana explained. "Did you see how he's denying that you
exist? That is particularly concerning, since it suggests he is
separating from your identity."

I sighed and motioned Shana to go to bed with me, since I still had
a lot to figure out and told her the investigation could continue
tomorrow.

"No. We must solve this. We must find and eliminate that rogue self
of yours," Shana urgently replied. "Let's go. I'm calling The
Manipulator of Instantiated Objects and the Interpreter of Common Lisp.
We'll meet at the Haridan."

"Hold on!" I grabbed onto Shana as she sprouted wings and taxied
across the room. "Attention passenger, please fasten your seatbelt! We
will be taking off shortly!" With a great burst of force and hot air
coming out of her behind, she lifted off into the sky, pulling me
behind her.
"You forgot to pull in your ailerons," I remarked, noticing how she
seemed to be shaking in flight and not going very fast.

She retracted and immediately smoothed out her flight, while


gaining speed rapidly. The roar of her twin engines pierced my ears as
I held on tight.

"Wait... I just felt an existence disappear," I told Shana as we


flew towards the Haridan. She slowed down and stopped, hovering in the
air only kilometers from our eventual destination.

"Really? Do you think it was your other self disappearing?"

"Maybe we should turn back. I can go check."

She did a sudden reverse stall turn and a barrel roll, turning
around and heading back towards my house.

"Watch out!" I shouted as I became aware that there was a large


passenger jet coming towards us rapidly.

"Not a problem!" Shana shouted as she suddenly wielded her sword


and landed a blow on the tail of the Bombardier Dash 8, sending it
spiraling downwards into a house, where it exploded into flames.

"Hey! You weren't..."

"We can fix that later," she remarked as we flew towards my house.
"Quickly, we don't have much time," she urged me as we landed in my
bedroom. I went over to the computer and refreshed the thread.

"Yeah, your other self doesn't seem to be posting anymore," Shana


noted as we read through the posts. "I'll call off the meeting but tell
the others to watch out."

"Sure, but I do know that I have this Reiji Maigo thing in me, so
we still have to be careful."

"I'll stay with you forever until you master your skills," she
replied as we climbed into the bed together. I turned over and realized
I had the biggest boner in my clinical history as far as I could
remember it. I was engorged and thick and I could feel myself
powerfully pressing against the mattress.

Unconsciously I began to push in and out against the bed, slowly


and steadily building up tension, controlling my arousal, not even
caring that Shana was right next to me. I started in on one of my most
common fantasies.

***********

Miko stood uncomfortably in her short skirt and blouse in front of


her new boss. She was scared and embarassed by the unusual alterations
to her body. Her petite breasts were now big and round, with thumb-
sized nipples making little tents in her blouse. Her new PENIS was big
enough to raise up her skirt and just poke out from under the edge of
it. And her belly felt really weird.

"So you just want me to... pee?" she asked hesitantly.

"That's right, just into this cup," said her boss. "Just try it
out."

"All.. All right..." she said. She was flushing a deep red. But
suddenly she actually had to pee. It was tough making her muscles relax
in front of a strange man, but eventually she could feel the liquid
traveling down her PENIS from its base to its tip. It was cold!

Her boss held the cup out and after a couple seconds it filled with
a red liquid. "Good job," he said. "Now see what it tastes like!"

She took a sip and it wasn't bitter at all, like urine, it was
sweet! It tasted just like cranberry juice!

"And if they want ice, you know what to do," her boss said. "Yup,"
said Miko. She was ready to go on the floor.

The first table had a man and two women, probably a couple and a
sister out for a date. She walked up and asked them what they wanted.

"We'll have two cranberry juices and a Pilsner for my sister," the
man said. "Just a second," said Miko. She walked over to the man's
glass and relaxed her muscles. Nothing happened for a couple seconds,
but then her big half-erect PENIS filled with cold juice and out of the
tip came a red splash of juice into the cup. Soon it was full. She used
her hand to squeeze out the last drops.

"Do you want some ice?" she said. She squatted and pulled her skirt
up to reveal her beautiful behind, little pink button right in the
center. She pushed and from behind you could see the clear piece of
ice, completely clean, squeezing through her butthole, falling into the
glass. It was really cold! Two more came out, plop! plop!

She had no idea what they'd done to her gut but it was really
weird. She kinda liked it! The whole situation was making her aroused
and she was getting really stiff!

************

I was holding strong and steady. I felt like I could keep going for
ages. I let myself come almost to orgasm and then reined myself back
in. I wasn't done with this story.

He slowed down as she spurted and when she was done he sucked the
last bit of syrup from her glans. The whole thing had taken around
twenty seconds. She wanted to collapse on top of this young man but
instead she smiled and said, "Have a nice day sir!" and walked to her
next table.
Normally I would have come along with the poor girl in the fantasy,
but I found that today the road stretched further into unimaginable
heights. I passed the normal point of orgasm and the tension kept
building, collecting in my PENIS and all up and down my spinal column
like a spring. The good feeling before orgasm collected and built as if
in a feedback loop, intensifying past the normal pleasure of
ejaculation, towering into a golden frenzy. The fantasy kept on.

************

Miko stood behind a thin plywood wall at the festival outside the
cafe with plugs in her ears. Passers-by looking at the wall would see a
painted picture of a woman at the beach, but Miko's gigantic, creamy
naked breasts stuck out from two holes in the wood through the torso of
the painted woman's svelte swimsuited figure. Miko's erect PENIS stuck
out incongruously and egregiously through another hole in the wall, not
lining up in any aesthetic way with the woman's body. Miko couldn't see
if anybody was looking. Her PENIS hardened further and she flushed
bright red, knowing that everybody could see her most private parts but
nobody knew it was her.

A minute passed in electrically charged silence. Because of her


earplugs, she didn't know whether there was a crowd out there or
anybody at all. Suddenly she felt a hand grab her left breast. She drew
in a sharp intake of breath. Whoever it was began to knead it slowly.
She arched her back in arousal, and imported German beer sprayed out
from her nipples. Then she felt the tongue on the head of her
cranberry-red PENIS...

************

I came. Instead of the usual wave of intense pleasure I was


expecting to experience, an excrutiating shock of pain exploded through
my body and it felt as though everything had frozen. When I opened my
eyes, I saw nothing but a wall of text, and at the very bottom:

Kernel panic - not syncing: Attempted to kill init!

"Shit." I thought to myself. "I have to get to school but instead I


decided to fap and now I think I killed reality." Remembering what had
happened that day, I immediately thought "I exit" and rebooted. I
couldn't express my anxiety through my non-existent body, but I could
feel it. It seemed to take ages for init and fsck to finish. Finally, I
got back to IRL. But is this the life I was in? I wondered to myself.
Something felt different than before I started fapping... Although
there was no time to think about it. My mind knew what I had to do next.

After all my senses had initialized, which seemed to take around


fifteen seconds, I was now aware that my underwear was filled with
spooge. I had to hop quickly out of bed before it soaked through and
stained the sheets. In the bathroom, I slid the wet underwear off my
body and stepped into the shower. My pubic hair was matted pearly-white
and my PENIS was still half hard. I washed myself off and my underwear
too for good measure. The shower felt really good, and by the time I
was done I was sure I was going to be late for class. But after I
toweled myself off, I rushed to the clock and it was only 07:30. Just
enough time!

I threw on some clothes, grabbed some change and my bus pass, and
ran down to the bus. I hopped onto the bus and sat down in the front.

I always love taking furtive looks at my fellow passengers on the


bus. It's one of the few public spaces where people sit down near each
other and actually feel comfortable carrying on conversations, reading
their books, doing homework. I try to figure out their favorite
authors, what subjects they're studying, what patches they have on
their backpacks. But the bus is also a difficult place to start a
conversation with someone: it gets awkward talking to a perfect
stranger after about five minutes, and then you're just staring at each
other for the rest of the ride, the ice having been broken but neither
person having a good idea what to say. So people generally make little
comments about the weather and stay in their pretended privacy, as if
they weren't squinched into a narrow seat between a ponderous juggalo
and an elderly woman who smells of cat food.

Today the bus was mostly empty. Two or three middle-aged women in
sweatsuits. A nervous man with a sport coat and tie. A South Asian
couple, probably high school age, linked arms, the girl immersed in her
cell phone and the boy looking out the window. The bus stopped at a
stop and on walked a young woman. My heart skipped a beat.

She was the spitting image of Miko from my uniquely well-realized


fantasy. Am I dreaming? Is this the world I was always in? Why would
she be here...? Half East Asian, half caucasian, nervous, naive
features, and beautiful large soft round breasts, cradled in a fuzzy
blue sweater. She looked flushed, as if she had run to catch the bus,
and she had dark circles under her eyes. She sat down on my side of the
bus, one seat between us. I forgot to breathe, let alone to worry about
her noticing my unabashed ogling. But amazingly, nobody seemed to see
either of us, and she seemed to be too exhausted to register my
presence. I mastered myself, but not before I stole a curious gaze at
the crotch of her blue jeans. There wasn't any sign of a gigantic
PENIS. I don't know whether I was relieved or disappointed.

A short while later, the bus had stopped at a traffic light outside
of the cemetary when all of a sudden a huge black snake head with
retarded-looking eyes popped through the window and screamed loudly,
"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" I ran off the bus as quickly as
possible, the driver seemingly opening the door in response to my
thoughts; this is quite strange, how could these events...? The snake
head was now chasing me around as I ran among the tombstones, searching
for something that I felt instinctive to. One particular tombstone
caught my attention and I stopped in front of it. On it was inscribed
the huge letter Lambda, and underneath was written

HERE LIES THE CORPSE OF GERALD JAY SUSSMAN


HE READ HIS SICP, HAVE YOU?
"Use this," I heard a voice from behind me say.

I turned around to see that girl standing there, the same one in my
fantasy and on the bus from earlier, holding a purple book. "This is
SICP", the thought came automatically. Instinctively I took it from her
and placed it in front of the tombstone. What I had to do next also
came naturally and without thought. We both crouched down and held each
other, singing the SICP theme song and a short prayer.

Once we had finished, I looked at her and the book resting on the
tombstone, then back at the bus; the snake head was no longer there.

"You? You were that snake?" I asked dubiously, suddenly losing my


sense of what I had to do.

"Yes. I am glad that my master The Sussman has now had a proper
finish to his recursive tail-call. And now I shall go join him. Thank
you for assisting me to reach Satori."

I noticed behind closed eyelids a light getting brighter. Gently I


disengaged and looked into her face. Her entire body was glowing
softly. I released her and, where I had been touching her, where her
breasts had been squished against my shirt, my clothes and skin glowed
for a moment, then quickly faded. She placed her hand on my shoulder
and brought my head down to give me a light kiss on the forehead. Then
she turned towards the lake, looking over her shoulder at me. She began
to evaporate into a cloud of glowing parentheses.

"SNAKE? SNAKE?! SNAAAAAAAAAAKE?!"

In a matter of seconds all traces of her had vanished, leaving only


the purple book next to the tombstone. I picked it up and walked back
to the bus stop to wait for the next bus.

When I arrived at school, there was something noticeably different


about everyone's demeanor. Rika, one of the normally happy and cheerful
students in my 6.006 class, was silent and reluctant to talk.
Similarly, Mion and Rena kept to themselves throughout the day. Is this
the world I've always been in? Have I always known these people? Do I
even remember registering for 6.006? My mind was clouded with thoughts,
but there was little I could do to figure out the situation. Although
there was something certainly different, when I thought again I could
not understand, and it felt like this was the world I had always known.

"Is something wrong?" I asked Mion at the end of the day.

"What?"

"Do you notice... is something different?"

"No."
Her responses were expressionless and short. Was she always like
this? I think so and think not at the same time... Without much success
at figuring out the situation, I began to head home.

Rena, who would usually follow me to the bus stop since she lived
in the same general direction as me, had also changed, as she said that
she had something else to do and stayed behind. As I waited, I
remembered what had happened this morning, and took out that mysterious
purple book, SICP, that that girl had given to me before disappearing.

On its purple leather cover was a picture of a wizard and the words
"Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs, Tenth Edition by
Gerald Jay Sussman and Harold Abelson with Julie Sussman"

Before I could open it to start reading, the bus arrived and I


climbed onboard.

Remembering what had happened in the morning, I cautiously looked


around to assess the situation. Nothing seemed abnormal, so I took a
seat and got out the purple book again. Am I sure? My thoughts
continued to be clouded with doubt.

I could hear other people in my vicinity gasping, and sensed their


feelings of fear. "What could be so... important about this book?" I
wondered as I started reading the first page, trying hard to ignore the
others who I knew were staring at me with amazement.

It seemed to be about computer programming. I remembered now,


computers were those archiac devices that had disappeared in the Fifth
Renaissance, being replaced by biological data processing systems.
"Copyright (c) 2038 MIT Press", the date read. 2038? Fifth Renaissance?
How do I know about this stuff? I don't remember learning about it...
But even I could see that there seemed to be something odd about this
book, and when I got off the bus, everyone else was still staring at me.

When I got home, Shana was already in my room. "Yes, she has always
been with me ever since I met that first Guze no Tomogara. This part
I'm certain about," I thought to myself. I decided to ask her about
what had happened.

"I'm not sure, but I can sense the presence of unusually large
numbers of Guze no Tomogara in this city. There is definitely something
going on," she said.

"And what about this?" I showed her the book. When she saw it her
eyes widened in amazement.

"How did you get that?!?! That is the Book of SICP, a Hougu from
the really early days, even before the Dark Era!"

"Well, I..." I explained to Shana the whole situation about what


had happened on the bus that morning. She seemed unusually shocked at
the events, for I had expected that she would be accustomed to Guze no
Tomogara and their patterns by now, being a Flame Haze and all that.
"Let me tell you about the whole story of how this Hougu came to
be," she replied afterwards.

"Before the Dark Era, there were these things called computers that
humans invented to do the tasks of thinking for them. Now, we have
biological data processors. But back then, computers were all we had.
And they needed software too, just like our BDPs need DNA. Humans wrote
software to tell computers what to do, I think they were called
programmers," Shana explained.

"And just like with Flame Hazes, there were good and bad
programmers, and some were more skilled than others. One programmer,
which was such an excellent one, was Gerald Jay Sussman."

"That's... the guy on the book!" I exclaimed. Did I know this stuff
already? Did she tell me before? Then why... why am I still confused?

"Yes. Him and his accomplice, Harold Abelson, produced the


legendary 6.001 course at MIT. They were EXPERT PROGRAMMERS, being able
to easily and effectively conjure the spirits of the computer with
their spells. They wrote this book, and instilled in it their great
power. Why you have it and why that Guze no Tomogara left it with you,
however, is still a mystery. I thought it had disappeared under the
suppression of knowledge that happened during the Dark Era."

"But we don't have computers now, so why is this still so


important?" I asked. Computers? How did I even know about these things
before Shana told me?

"I don't know yet. But I'm sure it has to be connected somehow with
all the other strange events that have been happening recently."

"You mean that snake and how everyone has been acting weird lately?"

"That, and the Wataganashi festival is going to be taking place


soon."

"Yes, I remember now. Every year something strange happened."

"That too. I've called a meeting with the others. Let's go."

Shana motioned for me to attach to her as she taxied across the


room and we flew out into the sky.

Once we arrived at the Haridan, The Manipulator of Instantiated


Objects and the Interpreter of Common Lisp were already there. I retold
my story of the events to them, and they agreed that something was very
wrong.

"I can only think of one instance in which these events could take
place," The Interpreter of Common Lisp said quite frankly, "and it's
not going to be easy for us. We may have to battle robust enterprise-
quality application software development suite solution architecture
platforms."
"What does that mean?" I asked, not understanding the situation
completely.

"Java." The response from The Manipulator of Instantiated Objects


was short and similarly expressionless.

Everyone else recoiled in disgust at the mention of the word.

"That, and .NET too. It will be a difficult and scary battle. But
we will have help on our side, if that Hougu you got was any
indication," Shana replied.

"You mean, SICP?"

"Yes. We may finally have to unleash its power. And that girl you
told me about, she may be another clue that we are not alone. If I'm
correct, we will have one of the most powerful wizards ever to
specialize in this field."

"The Sussman himself? But didn't he...?" I asked, thinking that


someone from such a long time ago would've certainly perished by now.

"Him, and maybe The Abelson too. If they come, we will be


guaranteed victory. But they currently reside in the same realm as
Alastor, and calling them to this domain will result in other unforseen
consequences too," Shana replied.

"Let's not worry about that for now. You know what to do when
something happens," The Manipulator of Instantiated Objects said, "Just
keep an eye out and be cautious of everything. We are currently in a
very strange situation, and we never know when those purveyors of
enterprise will attack. This meeting is over."

As everyone started their engines and prepared to take off, Shana


told me to keep SICP with me at all times. She then sprouted her wings
and flew me back to my house.

The next day, everyone could be heard whispering to each other


about the book I had. Wanting to find out, I asked Rika.

"Why are you all talking about me?"

"Are we? Mii~"

"I mean, that book..."

Rika's expression suddenly changed into one of anger and


irritation. She grabbed me by the hands and pulled herself up to my
face, looking very serious.

"GET RID OF IT. IT'S CURSED BY OYASHIRO-SAMA. IF YOU CONTINUE TO


HAVE IT IN YOUR POSSESSION BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN."

She released her grip on me and her expression went back to normal.
"But I... Sh--" I paused, not wanting to mention her in front of
Rika and the others.

"Just kidding! Nipah~"

"WHAT'S GOING ON!?!?" I shouted at her and everyone else in the


room, "WHY IS EVERYONE ACTING SO DIFFERENT?"

Everyone stared at me as if I was a Guze no Tomogara. Then, it


came. Everything froze like an overclocked processor as the fuzetsu
enveloped the room. Didn't I experience this before? What is this
feeling of familiarity?

A large headless man in a black suit and tie materialized in front


of me and stared menacingly.

"I am Anonymous... give me... that... book..." it spoke in a hollow


voice as it slowly walked towards me.

I ran towards the door of the room and exited. The headless body
moved swiftly as it chased me down the hallway, attempting to grab me
with its hands. I reached for my communicator and dialed Shana's
number, calling her for help. Within moments she came and stood in
front of me, facing the Guze no Tomogara.

"I guess it has begun," Shana remarked. Without warning, it split


into several hundred, filling the hallway.

"WE ARE ANONYMOUS. WE ARE LEGION." they shouted as they attempted


to grab us, but ended up stumbling over each other and falling to the
ground in a heap.

"That was uneventful," Shana calmly said as she slashed the pile of
struggling bodies, making them disappear and evaporate. "But they could
be Rinne, so the main leader is still alive."

"DAMN RIGHT!"

We heard her distinctive voice as we turned around to face a young


woman, looking at us with an awkward smile. It was her, she-who-must-
not-be-named, for her name, like ``affiliation'', carries a connotation
that some may find unpleasant.

"I see you managed to kill my army of newfags, but I won't die that
easily! They are hopelessly addicted to me that they'll do anything to
protect their queen," she continued. "You want that attention too, I
know it!"

"You bitch!" Shana shouted as she lunged forward into her with her
sword, but she jumped back and released another swarm of headless suit-
wearing newfags, which was easily destroyed by the sword.

"Can't you be any faster? Maybe if you were more beautiful you
could get your own army of newfag worshippers too!"
With one great burst of strength Shana flew forward and grabbed her
by the neck, holding her sword inches from the Tomogara's face.

"I'll slice you up into little pieces. Small enough to fit into
that cardboard box over there. Suits your name, doesn't it!" Shana
shouted.

"You can kill me, but you won't stop the Enterprise. The city is
already being consumed by turnkey solutions."

"What's that? Turkey solutions? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Shana plunged


the sword into her, disintegrating her into nothing as she ran back
towards me with a sense of urgency in her expression.

"Let's go. We've got some work to do," Shana told me as we flew
outside of the building to see that the others were already in battle.

Huge monolithic blocks of ready-to-run robust enterprise-quality


code were raining down from the sky, making loud turkey-like sounds as
they fell, dissolving the buildings and surrounding areas they made
contact with.

"Shana! Go find the source of all this! Quickly!" The Manipulator


of Instantiated Objects shouted as she struggled to catch all of the
turkeys with her ribbons.

We flew upwards into the sky, dodging and slaying the falling
poultry as we headed for the point where they were all coming from. As
we neared, we could see that it was a large shiny silver plateau, with
an office-like building perched on top. The turkeys materialized from
its bottom side, flying out in all directions.

"There we go. That's the land of Enterprise," Shana told me as we


approached the turkey-spewing floating island. We landed on the top of
the island and headed for the entrance of the office building perched
atop. The door opened with little provocation, and we stepped into a
large lobby with hallways leading to all sides. On the back wall hung a
sign with the words "ENTERPRISE CORPORATION".

...

"Where... are we?" Koakuma whispered as she opened her eyes to find
Patchouli lying next to her.

"I think that guy said something about the 'land of Java'"
Patchouli said in a low voice as they both sat up to find themselves in
an empty office cubicle. The sound of mouse clicks and typing could be
heard coming from around them.

They cautiously walked towards the opening of the cubicle, which


lead to a long, brightly lit hallway that seemed to go on forever.

"Let's find a way out of this place," Koakuma said.


They walked into the cubicle beside the one they respawned in, but
it wasn't empty; there was a desk, a computer, and an expressionless,
bald man with startingly white skin sat there, staring into the monitor
and pressing the keys frantically. They could see he was playing
Perfect Cherry Blossom.

"Umm... excuse me? Could you ---" Koakuma began.

The man remained focused on the game.

...

"How do we stop this? Who's the CEO of this place?" I asked


automatically.

"I have no idea. I've never battled them, to be honest." Shana


replied. "But let's see what we can find here."

We ran to the directory listing on the wall and read it as fast as


we could.

"Manufacturing. That must be where those turkeys are getting


produced. Level 42. Let's go." I told her as I instinctively started
leading her towards the elevator.

"We have no time to waste!" she shouted as she grabbed me and flew
out the door, upwards, then broke through a window on level 42 and
entered the room. It was full of strange machinery, and noone appeared
to be around.

--

"Hello?!?!" Patchouli screamed at him while waving her arms across


his eyes. The man remained undisturbed, and continued to graze with
astonishing accuracy. Even when she covered her eyes completely he did
not miss at all.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" she exclaimed, kicking him and then the
monitor; but nothing refused to move --- it was as if there was a
barrier surrounding him.

Seeing that nothing in the cubicle would respond to their attempts


at moving or destroying it, they gave up and walked out into the
hallway.

"This place sure is wierd," Patchouli commented sadly, "let's see


what's in the other ones."

--

"Those are computers! That must be what they're using to produce


those things," she exclaimed.

"Let's destroy them."


"No. We still have to reverse the changes. They'll be very useful
for that. Do you have SICP with you?"

"Yes."

Shana walked over to a display and sat down in front of it.

"It's been at least a hundred years since I've had to use one of
these things... but I recognize it! It's Linux!"

"Linux?"

"Yes, it's this software which was used to control computers and
became dominant around the Fourth Renaissance, that period which we
called 'Year of the Linux Desktop'", she replied as she started typing
at the keyboard.

"I got in now. Time to rm -rf everything," she murmured to herself


as she continued typing.

After several more tense moments she stood up and said "it's done."
We flew out of the room and around to the bottom of the floating
island, to verify that the effluence of turkeys had stopped, then back
into the room again.

***

They visited several more cubicles, but the situation was the same;
in each one was a man playing one of the Touhou series, and none of
them could be disturbed by anything they did. After a while, it became
apparent that almost every one of the cubicles was identical, and the
hallway seemed to go on forever in either direction.

***

"Now, we will have to begin the rebuild process. Get out that SICP
and open it."

At that moment the door to the room burst open and a large man in a
business suit and tie walked in with a furious look on his face.

"How dare you interrupt my operation!" he shouted in a salesman-


like voice. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Oyashiro-sama, CEO of
Enterprise Corporation, where we leverage core skillsets and world-
class team synergy through the collection of power of existence to
provide clients worldwide with robust, scalable, modern turnkey
implementations of flexible, personalized, cutting-edge Internet-
enabled e-business application product suite e-solution architectures
that accelerate response to customer and real-world market demands and
reliably adapt to evolving technology needs, seamlessly and efficiently
integrating and synchronizing with their existing legacy
infrastructure, enhancing the e-readiness capabilities of their e-
commerce production environments across the enterprise while giving
them a critical competitive advantage and taking them to the next
level."
"Enough with that bullshite!" Shana shouted as she withdrew her
sword and made an attempt at stabbing the man.

"Not so fast, little girl," he calmly responded as he caught the


sword with his bear hands. "You shouldn't be playing with weapons at
your age."

Shana jumped back and he grabbed the other end of the sword with
his other hand, effortlessly bending it into a circle as he tossed it
aside.

"Now, do what I tell you and you won't get hurt," he said, grabbing
her and pinning her against the wall with one hand while unzipping his
pants with the other, seemingly ignoring my existence completely.
"Don't worry, it'll only hurt a little bit at first," he said in a
pedophile-like tone as he stripped Shana of her clothes. Although she
struggled, her strength was useless against Oyashiro-sama's godlike
power.

"Yuji! THE BOOK!" she shouted as he forced himself into her.


Oyashiro-sama paused for a moment, glanced around, and continued raping
her. He seemed completely oblivious to my presence.

I grabbed the purple wizard book and, not knowing what to do,
tossed it against him with my greatest force. It bounced off his head
and he did not notice at all.

"Not like that you baka!" she shouted between cries of pain and
moaning. "U... USE IT!"

"How?" was the only thought in my mind as I watched helplessly


Shana getting raped by the man.

"SUMMON THE SUSSMAN!!!" Shana shouted loudly after looking at me


with a puzzled expression.

At the mention of the word "Sussman" Oyashiro-sama stopped


thrusting and a look of fear appeared on his face.

"What did you say, little girl? Who exactly are you going to
summon, and who are you talking to?"

***

They continued to walk in silence, looking into the cubicles on


either side for any sign of escape. One of them seemed to be empty
except for a single purple book lying exactly in the middle, and
aligned perfectly with the four walls.

"This one's different! But... what can we do?" Koakuma said as they
entered it.

Patchouli reached for the book, and to their surprise it moved with
her touch. She picked it up and turned it over.
***

"SUMMON THE SUSSMAN!!!" Shana shouted again, and this time


Oyashiro-sama pulled out of her and looked around with a puzzled,
shocked expression.

"YUJI!!! SUMMON THE SUSSMAN!!!"

"Shut up!" he stared at her and covered her mouth with his
gigantic, bear-like hand. "Do you really think you can summon a dead
lord? You are powerless! I sent him to the land of Java a long time
ago, when time_t was only 32 bits long!"

I ran over to the book and picked it up while Oyashiro-sama


inserted himself into Shana again and resumed his assult on her fragile
body.

"Come... here... Yuji... let's... do... it..." she managed to say


between moaning and whimpering.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" he covered her mouth again. "It's been
a long while since I've enjoyed a little girl, and this time I happen
to get a noisy one!"

***

On the cover was a picture of a wizard and the words "Structure and
Interpretation of Computer Programs".

***

I walked over to him and, deciding to take a risk, punched him hard
on the back. He remained completely unaware, as if I had done nothing
at all. I moved around to where Shana was, and holding the Book of SICP
in one hand and her hand in the other, I knew what to do automatically.
I could feel the line of power issuing forth from the book like a
fractal. Instinctively, I envisioned myself stepping forward, breaking
through the seal that held the great power within.

***

"Structure and Inter--- wait, is this the SICP that snake mentioned
before we ---" Koakuma exclaimed.

"I think I remember now!" Patchouli shouted excitedly. "It said


something about reading SICP!" She opened it and turned to the first
chapter.

***
I knew as soon as I crossed that line that something was
drastically different. Before, walking across the line had been like
walking into a dream, and for a little bit when you were inside you
forgot what things were part of you and which were not, but the feeling
quickly passed. Now it was almost a tangible barrier. I crossed it and
felt like I was walking into water, making a splash that sent out
ripples in unseen directions. Every step was a push through deep fluid,
and as I walked I felt an awareness build up around me, all through
every part of the air, the bushes beside me, the path under my feet,
and I partook in it as well. Everything around me awoke and became more
and more hyperfocused on me. Holding Shana's hand firmly, I brought the
book up to my face and stared into it. I was astonished to see that it
was glowing pearly white and. The world trembled like a wave and the
sky glowed twisty purple and I got the impression of two great eyes
rising over the horizon, bending distance, pulling me into them.

I spoke and the universe spoke with me: "I summon thee, great
wizard and lord, Gerald Jay Sussman!"

***

They started reading the first chapter, and just as they finished
the first section, the lights of the cubicle flickered and the two of
them were once again immersed in darkness.

***

***
"What now?" Koakuma asked, "didn't we read it?"
***

The floor shook and Oyashiro-sama paused and looked around with a
very confused expression, releasing Shana from his grip and quickly
pulling up his pants. The loud booming cry of "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP
TODAY?" filled the room as debris fell from the ceiling and the lights
flickered and went out.

"What... what's the meaning of this?!?!" he shouted and looked


around nervously.

With a bright flash of light and a loud bang the Sussman appeared,
wearing his robe and wizard hat.

"We meet again," The Sussman said with a calm smile as he turned to
face Oyashiro-sama, "and this time will be your last."

"How... how did you..." he stuttered at the sight of the Sussman.


"Didn't I send you to the land of Java?"

"What a pathetic attempt. Your powers were useless. I escaped


through a buffer overflow and now I'm stronger than before. Prepare to
be garbage-collected!"

The Sussman took out a wand and pointed it at Oyashiro-sama.


"Well, well Sussman, I see you've maintained some of your skills
from 6.001. You may have dodged that expression, but how long do you
think you can hold out against my J2EE 3.0?"

"THREE-POINT-OH?!" the Sussman shouted in response, cackling. "You


never understood, Oyashiro-sama; you couldn't defeat me with J2EE
Over9000."

"What are you talking about Gerry. I've seen your powe--" he
stopped, mouth agape as the sudden realization dawned over him. "NO, IT
CANNOT BE!"

"YES. YOUR SUSPICIONS ARE CORRECT. I'VE BEEN SUPPRESSING MY POWER


LEVEL."

"HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE??!" he shouted. In desperation, the god


hurled a fury of list comprehensions, dictionaries and exceptions at
the Sussman, but Gerry easily knocked aside the feeble incantations.

"You never understood, Oyashiro-sama," he chastised as he prepared


his final attack, "it was always as simple as EVAL-APPLY!!!!!!!" he
shouted as he unleashed the ultimate spell at the stunned man.

***

A deep rumbling sound was heard, and the floor began to shake. They
held onto each other as they felt themselves falling through it, then
fainting.

***

The world froze.

Few people have ever seen a spell of such power; few people could
even wield it and even fewer were willing to use it. In this terrible,
suspenseful moment, the world froze. Completely. This isn't just a
literary artifact, something had segfaulted. But in less than a
nanosecond after, there was a gigantic explosion, caused by the power
of existence that had been stored within the building over all the
times it had been alive suddenly releasing itself back into the world
through the now-unchecked buffers.

...

"Yuji! Wake up!"

I opened my eyes to see Shana standing over me. I was lying on the
roof of a building, and when I sat up I could see that everything had
been restored to normal.

***

They woke up to find that they were back where they started, and
the huge black snake head was still staring at them. Patchouli
continued to hold the purple book tightly against her chest.
"You have read your SICP today", the head hissed before
disappearing into the air.

***

"What... happened?"

"The universe was reset after the destruction of the Enterprise,


and the Sussman has gone back to his realm. Everything now seems back
to normal. We don't need to worry about anything."

"And... what I was going to tell you earlier, before... before we


went to sleep... about Lexy and Heather... I did fantasize about them
when it happened."

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

== end ==

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