Live The Life You Desire

Live the Life You Desire
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Copyright © 2016 www.tinagrilc.com

All rights reserved
The views expressed are those of the author

alone and should not be taken as expert
instruction. The reader is responsible for his or
her own action.
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Contents
Who am I? ............................................................................................................ 5
A story about a hamster ....................................................................................... 8
What about our environment? ...................................................................... 11
Listen to yourself!........................................................................................... 12
Everything is possible... .................................................................................. 13
Behind the scenes .............................................................................................. 15
The magic happened... ................................................................................... 17
I believe... ....................................................................................................... 18
Step one: Be yourself! ........................................................................................ 20
1. Find what you really want! ......................................................................... 26
2. Let's go deep! ............................................................................................. 28
3. Be S.M.A.R.T.e.r! ........................................................................................ 29
4. Make a commitment .................................................................................. 32
5. Less information, more focus – faster results!........................................... 33
A 1-MONTH LOW-INFORMATION DIET ...................................................... 33
Step two: Master your time! .............................................................................. 37
1. Plan your day .............................................................................................. 39
2. Set goals! .................................................................................................... 39
3. Batch tasks.................................................................................................. 40
4. Monotasking is the new multitasking! ....................................................... 41
Why is multitasking not effective? ............................................................. 42
5. Get away from any screen, and I do not mean only the computer screen!
........................................................................................................................ 42
6. Listen to your biorhythms and organise your day accordingly .................. 43
7. Set a limited number of priorities and stick to them ................................. 44
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8. Identify time thieves and eliminate them .................................................. 44

Step three: Practise mindfulness ....................................................................... 46
1. Start with a hobby or an activity you enjoy ............................................... 49
2. Be present in a situation or activity that you don’t enjoy as much ........... 50
Step four: Earn money doing something you believe in .................................... 52
1. Why is this so important?........................................................................... 53
2. Believe in what you do! .............................................................................. 53
3. Is this the right job for me? ........................................................................ 54
Step five: Your body is your temple ................................................................... 56
1. Energise your body ..................................................................................... 57
Alkaline diet ................................................................................................ 57
Can I measure it? ........................................................................................ 59
2. We like to move it, move it! ....................................................................... 59
Step six: Improve relationships .......................................................................... 61
1. Don’t take anything personally .................................................................. 62
2. People in your life aren’t there to make you happy .................................. 63
3. Let’s go deeper :) ........................................................................................ 64
Step seven: Make friends with money!.............................................................. 65
First step: Overcome poverty consciousness ................................................. 67
Second step: Reset your beliefs ..................................................................... 68
Third step: Learn how to manage money ...................................................... 69
Fourth step: Live below your means .............................................................. 70
From an average hamster life to the life of her dreams... ................................. 71
Congrats! ............................................................................................................ 73
Connect with me ................................................................................................ 74
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Who am I?
It all started when my father asked me: What do you want to do in life?
That was a question that I was trying to figure out for many years.
However, it was more difficult than I thought due to all the norms in
society and thus all the limits in our brain! It took me many years to find
my inner self and I’m still discovering new parts of my true self every day
– it’s a never-ending journey.
At first, I felt that everything was as it should be in my life – I excelled at

school, received a Master’s degree in Translation, got a permanent job,
got married... I suppose I had what you would call a “normal” life –
stressful job, annoying husband (of course, not because I came stressed
out from work :)), little time for myself and no time or energy to spend on
the question, “Who am I and what do I really want?”. What bothered me
was that I felt my life really sucked! If I wanted to discuss this with a
friend, everybody would tell me that “that’s real life, Tina”. And I just
hated that kind of answer! I would wash my hair on Sunday evening, iron
my fancy clothes and brush my shoes (not every Sunday to be honest :))
for the Monday morning. I would somehow survive through the day and
was soon ticking off the rest of the week for the weekend to finally kick
in!
Fortunately, at least from my current perspective, my body came up with

an auto-immune or stress-related illness every one or two years, so I was
forced to read a lot of literature and tried lots of out-of-the-box techniques
because I wanted to tackle all of the problems from the nutritional and
spiritual side as well, not purely from the medical. Today, I am incredibly
grateful for those experiences, knowing that each and every one of them
has taught me a meaningful lesson and given me a deeper understanding
of life’s purpose as well as my own meaning in life.
Finally, everything started falling into the right place and I realised the
principles I am going to teach you in this book and through which I found
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a greater connection and vibrancy in my life than I ever had before, and
for which I am grateful every single day.
And the good news, my dear friend, is this: you can do this too!
While searching for my own meaning, I came across

valuable lessons which are all part of this book:
- I figured out what I truly want in life (there are no rules for this
one!!) and I didn’t stop there. I took ACTION!
- figured out how to listen to my heart and what it is that my heart is

actually saying;
- started earning money doing something I believed in and thus

decided that setting up my own business would be the best option;
- finally discovered how to trust and overcome my deepest fears, so

that I can live the life I want and that I am passionate about;
- realised that our body is the greatest gift we have received and
found out how to nurture it accordingly in order to have plenty of
energy for my current and future plans;
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- finally understood the power of taking action now – not tomorrow,

not when I have time, not when the right moment comes. Just DO
it!
- overcome my poverty consciousness and started working as a

money & marketing coach in the process, helping “crazy busy”
women entrepreneurs to be the masters of their own finances and
build a profitable online business.
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A story about a hamster
Once upon a time there was a land called Hamsterville, where a hamster
named Tina lived. Hamsterville was a funny place to live. All hamsters
lived together, but every hamster had its own cage with a wheel inside.
When she was born, she would stay in a small cage with no wheel – she
didn’t know how to ride it properly and on the right terms. So everybody
came lecturing her in her cage – parents, teachers, friends, journalists,
they even had a TV show every day on that topic...
After all, she was nothing more than a blank sheet of paper who should as
soon as possible learn to obey and live by the rules of Hamsterville. This
is how she would be happy, successful, and a respected member of the
hamster society. This is how she would progress in her career the fastest
and how she would blend in at her best.
Under Article 1 of the Hamsterville Constitution, each hamster was

required to ride his or her own wheel of (mis)fortune and in exchange for
the wheel-riding received nuggets (they called it pay checks as well) once
a month. The majority of the hamsters didn’t concern themselves much
about Article 1. They seemed to take it as the only viable option. But Tina
was different from other hamsters, although she wasn’t aware of that at
first. She was a fast learner, so she had no difficulties in acquiring the
knowledge of how to ride the wheel in her early days.
There was one problem with our hamster – her heart.
She felt unhappy most of the time – she just didn't know why. After all,
she was supposed to be happy – she was doing exceptionally well at
school, she got a scholarship for gifted students and all teachers loved her.
Of course, she was working her wheel in the top 5 percent! She was doing
exactly as she was told.
But after years, something started to bother her more and more. Her body.
Her body was rebelling at all fronts – she was going from one allergy and
auto-immune illness to another. With doctor hamsters struggling to figure
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out what was going wrong for years – yet with no results, no real
breakthrough.
Her hamster parents were worried and tried to help her. Luckily, she still
managed to cover that “looser part” of her life and was doing very well in
her hamster wheel. Even when she finished university and started
working, everybody was pleased with her. But in the cold and silent
moments of the night she was asking herself difficult questions: What is
wrong with me? Am I doing something wrong? Why do all other
hamsters seem to be happy in their wheels of (mis)fortune when I am
constantly seeking “something more”?
She felt different but didn’t know what to do. Other hamsters told her that
these were difficult times for Hamsterville because one year before her
graduation the international economic crisis had hit! There were
thousands of hamsters with no wheel to ride in return for their monthly
pay checks. They were stuck at home, crying for help and helplessly
wandering around in the daylight and drinking in the night hours.
Even in her town, Tina saw many hamsters with no wheel. About 20%,
they told her. So, she was really scared. At that time, she didn’t know that
95% of everything we are afraid of never actually transpires. “What if all
my efforts at university were for nothing and I end up with no wheel to
ride!? YIKES!! What a shame! I was always among the best at riding
while in the education system, so if I don't get a wheel now, everybody
will tell me I'm a loser.”
So, she started writing applications to get her wheel and picked the first
one, the safest one. It was a public wheel run and paid for by the
government. “Those are the best wheels to run,” everybody told her.
“Now, with the crisis, you should be happy to have a wheel at all. For
now, this is the best solution.”
OK, Tina thought. I could run this wheel for a few years, then everything
will be back to normal, the crisis will be over and I will then get a wheel
of my choice and preferences. She noticed sadly though, at the age of 25,
that she still didn’t have a clue as to what kind of wheel she wanted to
ride. She never really had to ask that question, because the system of
wheels was guiding her all the way. At the end of their studies, hamsters
would even receive a diploma and some guidelines as to which wheels
they could best ride in the future – according to that spreadsheet, she
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could ride the wheel of a teacher, a translator, or work in an international

company.
After one year in the first public wheel with no feeling of fulfillment, she
left the safe wheel and applied for a traineeship in a cage with golden
wheels. It was not in her hometown of Hamsterville, but a much richer
one. There, hamsters received huge pay checks and the wheels were
golden. Before going there, she thought: “This will make me happy. I
should continue working in golden wheels. I will have more nuggets to
travel, have a hamster family and I will be happy.”
Sadly, after 5 months of working there, she realised with huge

disappointment that the other hamsters in golden wheels didn't seem
much happier than the ones she worked with at home. They weren't
complaining about the crisis, because their wheels were golden, but Tina
didn't see them being any happier while riding their wheels.
So, she thought, the material of the wheel and the number of nuggets are
not crucial factors. I must seek happiness elsewhere.
With that in mind, she went back home, proud to have the opportunity to
have been working in a golden cage, but scared again by the situation at
home where everybody was telling her that it was even harder to find a
wheel to ride right then. There was this other option of riding a wheel
outside the cage, by yourself, alone, offering services to other huge and
smaller cages as an entrepreneur. But this is too risky at such times. There
might be other times when this is all right. But not now. You should seek
a stable wheel, so you can then start a family. OK, Tina yet again took the
first wheel that came along – a wheel in a huge international cage.
At the very first moment she entered the position, she knew it was
definitely not a wheel for her. It was impersonal, grey and you needed to
dress up in uncomfortable clothes. Tina felt terrible in that wheel. “But,
hey, this is just for a while, I'll find another wheel when this crisis is over,
so I can start living my life – finally! I really can't wait for that to start. I
wonder who or what will finally approve me to live my life. Maybe my
parents? Or my husband hamster? Or maybe my boss? Or some higher
force will come and take me out of this wheel and say: Hey, Tina, now it
is your time!”.
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What about our environment?

Disappointed after working in the wheel with other hamsters for a year,
Tina realised that nobody will ever approve these decisions in her life.
There is no one to do that for you! So far, there has always been
somebody who approved and rejected your grade, your test paper, your
wheel application… that Tina didn't realise that there is no one after you
enter “real hamster life” to approve it! So, waiting for approval just didn't
seem to be a great idea. She had a look around at what other hamsters
were doing and tried desperately to find some answers to her mind-
boggling questions.
Other hamsters woke up in the morning, drove to the big cage and started
riding their wheels. In between, they had a break for 30 minutes when
they could tell each other about their worries and happy moments. The
hamster race was quite strict about the time schedule. Everybody had to
work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and after that they gave you 2 days off.
Hamsters were always excited and looking forward to those two days.
They even had a countdown every week. On Monday, everybody was
depressed because they had to ride their wheels again, but as the week
progressed they started getting into a better mood and finally, this reached
its crescendo on Friday! They were free to go for whole two days!
YEAH!
OK, so, Tina was observing them and thought: this is all there is to it,
obviously. But after days passed, she was feeling worse and worse. She
missed the feeling of freedom she used to feel every time she went
travelling, backpacking, hiking, out in nature, in the woods. She even had
a small hamster snowboard to ride on. So, during the days of wheel-
riding, that was what she would often draw on pieces of paper... hills,
herself on a snowboard, happy... :) That’s how she would feel better, at
least for a while.
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Listen to yourself!
Her body was rebelling more and more strongly... She couldn’t sleep, she
couldn’t eat, she was exhausted, her heart stopped communicating with
her months ago... But she mustn’t quit the wheel! What would happen to
her if she did? Be a loser in society? Start from the beginning when she
was supposed to be rising? What would other people say? What about the
nuggets? Would she have enough to survive? She is supposed to start
thinking about raising small hamsters at that age – how will she do that?
If she quits the hamster race, she won’t have enough nuggets to help the
small hamsters grow and teach them how to use their own wheels... If she
quits, she is risking so much and getting... seemingly so little? To be more
precise, she had no idea what the benefits of quitting are, except for the
ultimate freedom!
After what seemed like years (but in reality was not even a year), she
went for a vacation and one day her heart spoke to her for the first time
after a year! It was as a silent breeze, a feeling she will never forget. It
overwhelmed her... “WOW! I love that! I love when you speak to me!
Where have you been?”
“You stopped listening to me, so I simply stopped. Sorry, I can only stay
in touch if you will listen to me and what I am telling you. Otherwise, I
am hurt too much, and I defend myself from the pain, so I simply close
my chambers. That’s why you feel so numb, you know. But if you listen
to me, you will experience all the joy that you can imagine! Remember
when you were a small hamster, and you were happy for nothing? That’s
what you can get back if only you listen to me intently and pay attention
to what I am saying!”, her heart said.
So, the hamster Tina returned to her wheel-riding, but was listening to her
heart all the time. It was a disaster! Terrible! For the first time in years,
she felt how much her heart was struggling to meet the demands of the
wheel-riding cage every single day!!! No wonder it shut down all the
chambers...
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That’s when Tina decided to quit the wheel – despite what everyone was
saying. Despite what everyone was doing. Despite all the risks. Despite
the fear.
She was stepping into no man’s land. She was going out of the cage into
the freedom where a few hamsters were walking around with no wheels.
She knew it was a big step with all her four feet together, but she wasn’t
that scared. It was exactly what her heart was telling her to do and she felt
it was the right choice.
The freedom she felt was difficult to describe – it was the ultimate
personal hamster freedom! She could do anything now, be anyone, go
anywhere!
The first challenge she experienced was that there was no map, no
guidelines in the freedom zone. There was nothing. Only the ultimate
hamster freedom. So, figuring out the path was a challenge by itself! She
decided to start her own business, without the wheel, with no previous
business experience whatsoever. With no map, she started digging on one
side of the huge playground of freedom, and then on the other side...
learning and progressing step by step. Sometimes, she still felt confused.
But she kept listening to her heart and kept reading books about how
other hamsters had succeeded after quitting their wheels of (mis)fortune.
During the following years, she struggled a lot to figure out the right way.
Everything is possible...
During the next months, she went to every seminar on business, read
every book on happiness, started meditating, went to countless hours of
coaching sessions, discovered the “magic” of reiki and energy self-
healing techniques... She travelled, talked to people doing different
things, found an inner connection with nature, went tree-hugging, diving,
and climbing high mountains... She spent all the money she had on
seminars all around the world, books and coaching...
She even learned some basics of coding to make simple changes to her
website... She was devoting all her time and energy to continuous
learning about business, life, and passion. How do you fit all of them into
the same place at the same time? How do you have enough money, be
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successful, but at the same have enough time to live your life to the
fullest? Feel each moment? Spend time with your family and friends? It
all seemed so challenging for her, and yet it turned out to be doable!
Above all, she learned the important principles of how to live your life
with passion and joy. She figured out that you need to balance at least 7
principles for that. If you work too much, you feel stressed and don’t have
any time to spend with your family. On the contrary, if you lie on the
beach 365 days a year, you might have money issues (unless you are a
millionaire or have a business that runs without you).
Tina started experiencing joy, fulfillment, and vibrancy on a level she had
never ever imagined to be possible. Her business grew, her relationships
improved, she was deeply happy and grateful for what she had.
However, she often observed other hamsters who didn’t seem able to see
through the walls of their cages. They let their beliefs limit them in what
they thought possible for them – regarding jobs, their health, vitality,
time, money...
“One day,” she told herself, “I’m going to write a book to inspire other
hamsters to live the life they desire. To make a decision to live their life to
the fullest instead of waiting for somebody else to do it for them.”
She opened her laptop and started writing...
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Behind the scenes
“Words may inspire, but only action creates change. Most of us live our
lives by accident — we live life as it happens. Fulfillment comes when we
live our lives on purpose.‖
Simon Sinek
In this time, so many people are unhappy, wandering through the streets
like living zombies. Long have they lost the spark in their eyes, long have
they lost the passion in their hearts. Long has it been since they last felt
that feeling of true joy, simply because they are alive or because they see
a toddler crawling in the shop.
They’re overwhelmed with their everyday tasks, to-do lists, phone calls,
text messages to be answered, emails waiting to be sent, comments to be
posted, photos to be shared with the world, etc.
The challenge in the modern hi-tech world is not to gather food, kill
another mammoth or survive another night in the forest; it is to make
room for passion. To make room for happiness. To make room for
moments to be fully aware of them, before they already drift into the
forgotten past and before we start worrying about that report we need to
hand in tomorrow.
To transform words into action. To live our lives on purpose.
For years I have been planning to write a book, yet I felt that there wasn’t
so much I could share with the world. I wasn’t born into a rich family, I
didn’t go to Harvard, I’m not a model-looking woman, I didn’t invent the
next Facebook... But there was something in me, something I wanted to
share with the world. For years, people have kept asking me the exact
same question: How come you are always so happy? This was weird,
because I wasn’t happy in five out of the six jobs I had, so I always quit
and then started my own business – this is the job I will never ever quit!
Funnily enough, they kept asking me this same question even while I was
in those, from my perspective, very boring jobs. I guess there was a
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different energy I was radiating to the world. I just happened to be able to

be passionate and happy even though my job at the moment sucked.
There was a time when my husband was diagnosed with depression. Even
in those dark times of three years before he fully recovered, people kept
asking me the very same question: How come you are always so happy?
Later in my life, when I started my own business and was neither

financially successful in the first months nor feeling very fit and vibrant
due to working long days and nights, people still kept asking me the very
same question: How come you are always so happy?
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The magic happened...

And now, here I am, staring at the blank computer screen and trying to
figure out what to write about... and believe it or not... my phone starts
ringing. An old family friend that I haven’t seen for at least ten years is on
the line. “Hi Tina,” he says. “A while ago I saw you in the city (well, it’s
a tiny town – 18,000 inhabitants), but you were too far away. So I decided
to call you because you are always in such a good mood.”
In my head I went like “What the heck?! Is the Universe trying to tell me
something?!?!” So, we talked about this and that and nothing important,
he told about some issues that had been bothering him (imagine a friend
of my parents and of their age, calling a young comparatively
inexperienced girl to cheer himself up – that’s how it was). That his
retirement was not getting any nearer but further, that young people
should work but can’t get any jobs, and that he commutes every day and
is getting bored after twenty years of being on the road for too long every
day.
After a few minutes, we finished our phone call, and I stared at the
computer screen again. I am definitely writing THIS book even if it is the
first and last book I ever write. Even if everybody tells me it is crap. Even
if only five people buy it (my husband, my parents – one each – my sister,
her partner / maybe-one-day-husband, and my best friend). Even if I
never publish it – but I’m sure I WILL. This phone call is yet further
proof for me that you should do what feels right in life, not what society
has “laid out” for you when you were still unable to speak your mind.
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I believe...
We shall live the life we feel happy with – even if this means waking at
10 a.m. and working late into the night. Is there a rule or something that
everybody in the world, all 7+ billion people, should have the same body
needs regarding sleep?
We shall live the life we feel passionate about – even if this means living
alone with no spouse and no kids. Again, is there a rule in the Universe
that every living being should get married and have two kids? Do you see
other mammals following the same principle?
We shall do work that we believe in.
We shall surround ourselves with people we care about.
We shall trust. Trust. Trust. That we are on this planet for a good reason.
That the purpose of life is not to be stressed, distracted, angry, but to be
happy. To forgive. To love and to embrace the love of others.
We shall overcome our fears.
We shall listen to ourselves – our body, mind and heart must all work
together. Our life is a team effort by all three of them, not just one.
We shall master our time, even if this means that we have to say no from
time to time.
Yet so many people rush through their lives waiting for days to come that
will be different, more fulfilling. Waiting for the day when they will be
able to retire and they finally have the chance to _________ (fill in the
blank space. Common suggestions: travel, play with the grandkids, take
care of their body...). Yet so many people count down the days of the
week until it is finally the well-deserved weekend – two days of freedom
and life! Yet so many people live in the waiting of a better time to come.
Sadly, we miss out on so many precious moments while waiting for that
elusive “better time” to come.
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We only have one life to live (at least in the form of a human, other forms
are debatable), and yet so many people spend it either regretting the past
or worrying about the future. We tend to forget that those very moments
in the present are our future and will be our past. We tend to forget that
those very moments make together 24 hours of our day, 7 days of our
week and 365 days of our year. They are our whole life!
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Step one: Be yourself!
―Only the truth of who you are, if realised, will set you free.‖
Eckhart Tolle
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We have all probably heard that mantra again and again in our lives: Be
yourself. But who are we really? How can we be ourselves if we don’t
know who we are? As Mike Robbins says in his book Be yourself:
―How do we know what it means to be who we truly are when how we

learn about life is through the filtered perspectives of the people who
raise us and the culture in which we live?‖
What are the most significant influences that stand in our way when we
want to learn about who we are?
These influences derive from:
- family
- school
- religion
- politics
- media
Family
The first one is our family – whether we were born into a perfect loving
family or into an alcohol-driven family, we didn’t learn all the facets of
our selves in the family but we are still profoundly shaped by that first
site of learning. Maybe our beliefs aren’t the same as those of our family.
Often we perceive that expectations of others force us to behave in ways
we think we should instead of in the ways we want.
School
At the age of 6 most of us enrolled in school – which is great because that

means we are fortunate to live in a country where everybody has access to
education. Sadly, most of us learned how to “ride the wheel” at school,
because this is our first real system where you need to ride a wheel. While
learning how to ride the wheel the way “we should”, we become
conformist members of society with enough knowledge to feel clever, but
nowhere near enough to learn how to express ourselves and to be who we
are – to be authentic.
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Of course, we gain a lot of knowledge from various fields and later on at

university even in a specialised field that enables us to pursue our careers.
What I missed at school in general was knowledge on how to express
ourselves (without interfering in the lives of others), how to listen to our
heart and carve out the life we desire, not the life everybody else has and
thus somehow we are supposed to have it as well. To learn how to pursue
our goals and ride our wheel in our own way, not in the way that
everyone else is.
No two people on earth are alike. Each one of us is unique. There are 7+
billion unique people on our little planet. And by forcing them all to ride
the same wheel, we don’t give them the chance to unlock their full
potential. We don’t allow them to express their emotions and thus to feel
that their life has a meaning, a purpose, a purpose that they can fulfill.
Instead we give them a fake feeling of being normal, doing it the right
way, the way everybody does it, doing it all the way down the invisible
checklist and making sure they do the right thing.
The checklist depends on the culture and environment you live in. In my
country this list looks like this:
 get a degree
 get a job
 get a full-time permanent job
 get a partner
 get married
 get a loan for a flat / house
 get pregnant
 optional: get a dog / cat / second child
 complain for the next 20 years about how difficult your life is
 long for a different life
 postpone your dreams for until the time you retire / have more
time / “some time in the future”
 complain for the next 20 years about how much life you
missed out on because you couldn't do what you wanted due
to various mostly self-imposed obligations
 _____________ (here’s the magic point when you can finally
start living your own life).
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Religion
Every religion is based on a set of beliefs and principles and I don’t say
that these are either good or bad. Personally, I grew up in a family with no
religious background, so I don’t believe any religion is better or worse.
For me, they are all sets of beliefs that can make your life better or worse
– depending on what you do with them. They can give you incredible
support and lift you up during times of struggle, or limit you during times
when you are supposed to grow.
Always think critically and don’t buy into everything that’s served up to
you. It is through thinking critically that your mind can grow and your
heart orient itself to the things that really do fulfill you, not to things that
you do only for the approval of others
Media
No matter where you look – in your mail box, on billboards, on the
underground, buses, trains, in public toilets... you see tons of
advertisements everywhere that want to sell you something so that you
can ostensibly become more beautiful, smarter or more successful.
Sensationalised stories about conflicts and scandals outshine the more
important things in our lives – how we feel about and within ourselves.
What is the purpose of our life and where do we want to be in five or ten
years from now? How do we achieve this?
While I don’t believe in conspiracy theories, I can see us being

bombarded with so much negativity through the daily news that an
individual is incapable of casting it aside and being their true self. The
messages that we are fed through the news are based on fear, negativity,
and hypocrisy – and soon this is the way in which most people perceive
and even experience the world.
However, it is not in human nature to live in a constant state of fear,

negativity, and hypocrisy, because in this way we compromise our
personal integrity and feel even more detached from our true and
authentic self.
Lessons we learn while growing up:

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You can’t say that.

Wait your turn.
Be humble.
Don’t talk back.
Who do you think you are?
Don’t interrupt.
Be quiet.
You should look good, not feel good. (Girls being a particular target of
this.)
So, the first logical step would be to find who we are and what we want,
and then start living in accordance with these principles. Which for most
people, myself included, was much more challenging in practice than it
sounded at first.
Well, it took me years and years of struggle and trial and error as well as
observing my reactions to finally figure out my place in the world Maybe
my sensitive body, which was rioting with countless out-of-the-box
illnesses, was a blessing in disguise which forced me to start listening to
myself at an earlier age than people around me.
However, it is NEVER too late to change your life, find yourself and go
get it! The Dalai Lama once said that “the purpose of our lives is to be
happy”.
In order to be happy, we need to find out who we are, what we want, and
how we will achieve this.
Now, I am going to need your help. Please take a pen and piece of paper
(perhaps more than one :)), turn off your phone, email, radio, TV,
computer or other technology, and find a peaceful place at home where
you can relax and not be disturbed.
I will guide you through a series of exercises which can change your life
only if you participate – take a pen and write down the answers. Do not
try to answer the questions in your head, because you will be less aware
of your thoughts and you might drift away. We need to do some serious
life makeover brainstorming here!
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Believe me, I have done plenty of exercises such us yours, and no matter
how easy it seems to answer them verbally, I have always picked
something from each and every one. So, do not waste the time you have
spent so far reading the pages up until this chapter. Advance your
knowledge and awareness of yourself with these in-depth exercises. I
challenge you to do these exercises as if your life depended on them :).
Do them – for real. If you don’t change your life, nobody will change it
for you. So, get moving and start writing! :)
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1. Find what you really want!

1. What do you really want in life?
(Write as many things as come to your mind). Do not stop and think
whether a goal or thought is acceptable or possible to reach... Simply
write in full flow. You can go through the stream of thoughts later and
you will have the chance to cross things out then.
2. What do you want from life?
3. What does life want from you?
4. How do you see yourself in the future – ten years from now?
5. How do you see yourself in the future – when you retire?
6. What will you write in your speech for your 75th birthday? Who will be
invited? Who will be by your side?
7. What would you do if money was not a problem?

- What would you buy?
- What kind of experiences would you pay for?
- Where would you live?
- What would be your usual day?
8. What would you have if...

- your mental abilities were not a problem?
- your physical abilities were not a problem?
- you had all the time and money you could want?
9. If you were ten years younger, what would you want?
10. What would you want if there were no limits at all?
That’s it for now. I hope you took the time necessary to write and write...
and keep writing as long as it takes you to write down everything you feel
in your heart. Personally, I do this kind of exercises at least once every
26
couple of months to see if there are new goals and desires to incorporate
into my future. I encourage you to do the same.
The heart's desires
Now, take a pen of a different colour and try to read between the lines –
what are your heart’s desires? What is the yearning that just doesn’t stop?
It is there when you wake up and when you go to sleep. You felt it a year,
two, or five years ago and you still feel it now. Often, this is the yearning
that stays with you even when you reach other more prominent goals, but
you are still not completely fulfilled. Is there something that keeps you
awake at night or makes your heart sing every time you read about
somebody else achieving that same goal, doing that very same thing that
you feel you simply have to do even though sometimes there is no logical
explanation why would you want that so desperately? Perhaps you have
achieved greater goals, gained social appreciation, but you still have that
burning desire no matter what, even though you have aged so much and
grown and settled down, etc.?
These, then, are the desires of the heart. Take a pen and find them.
Why is it so important to acknowledge the desires of the heart? Every one

of you has probably heard of inner peace. This is something you achieve
when you fulfill your heart’s desires. Not all at the same time, but you
strive to acknowledge them and fulfill them year by year. You do not
postpone or suppress them and you certainly do not pretend they are not
there. You enable them to flourish and to manifest – because this is how
you enable yourself to start becoming your higher self.
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2. Let's go deep!
Now you know what your heart’s desires are. The next step is to realise
them – are you with me on that? Let’s go deep!
In order to make a desire a reality (especially if it is one that cannot be put

into practice overnight), we need to do some planning.
This is called goal setting. Of course, not all desires and wishes can come
true in this way. For the purposes of this chapter, pick a wish or desire of
a more complex nature that naturally requires taking various steps to
achieve it in full.
Let’s say we want to travel around the world. In that case, we would need
to think about the route, finances, things we will take with us, travel
insurance, what to do with our flat / house / car / pet, etc. Good planning
and proactive thinking are tools that will help you turn your desires into
reality. So what are you waiting for? Get real and think S.M.A.R.T.er!”
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3. Be S.M.A.R.T.e.r!
There is a popular concept of the S.M.A.R.T. goals which stands for:
S – specific – this is how will we know when we have achieved our goal.
When setting a goal, just saying “I want to be happy or loved” is not
specific enough, because it will be hard to evaluate whether or not we
have achieved this or not.
M – measurable – it is great if you can measure by various criteria

whether or not you have achieved your goal (what you will feel or
perceive when you reach your goal).
A – as if now – write the goal down in the present tense and not in the
future tense, as if it already happening now.
R – realistic – choose a goal that you think is possible to achieve given

the available resources (this can be debatable).
T – time-related – set a deadline by which time you want to have

achieved this goal. This will motivate you to take all the steps necessary.
Many people use this concept to define their goals. Personally, I used to
define them in this way for a long, long time. But I always felt there was
something missing. In my opinion, it is often difficult to determine
whether a goal is realistic or not. The word “realistic” has been and is still
misused way too much. It puts you back into the hamster wheel, into the
box and you start thinking in the same way as everyone else.
When Henry Ford started with his idea to build a car for everyone on the
planet while 99% of people still travelled by horse-drawn carriage, being
realistic would have meant starting either with production of carriages or
with a small production of cars for only that privileged 1% of the
population. His goal was bigger and it definitely would not have been
described at the time as “realistic”. In fact, most major “innovations” that
shape the modern world started out on a similarly ambitious scale, and it
is only the limitations of our imaginations that hold us back.
29
So be aware of the “realist trap”. Michael Jordan wanted to join a

basketball team in high school and was not accepted either. His realistic
goal at that time would probably have been to stop dreaming about
playing basketball.
When Albert Einstein was young, his teachers thought he was retarded
because of his really bad grades. That is why his teachers told him to give
up, because he would not succeed in life.
Thinking realistically, held back by the assessment he received, would

definitely not have allowed him to reach the heights of his later success.
Often, we judge ourselves and predict our future based on past events.
The sooner we realise that our past does not equal our present, the better it
will be for us!
At any given moment, we have the chance to start working towards a new
goal, a new level, regardless of our past. In order to arrive there faster and
overcome our inner constraints, we need to take BABY STEPS. What
does this mean? It means writing down small steps that in sum will allow
you to achieve that goal.
The first step must always be the simplest one, one that you can do in 5
minutes. Why? Because you need to start with something small that will
give you the power and strength to continue. Often, those who plan too
many things and try to squeeze them into too short a timeframe are those
who often take on too much in life. Try to split a goal into smaller steps
and take on as much as you handle, all the while feeling joy in the sense
of accomplishment and fulfilment that achieving these intermediate steps
will provide.
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Grab a pen and paper

Write down three goals in the category of relationships, something you
really want to achieve.
Choose one that you will focus on in this exercise.
Why do you want this?
Why is it important to you?
What is the pain of not having it?
How will you feel when you have it?
For what reason have you not already accomplished this goal?
What baby steps will you take in order to achieve this goal?
What is the first step you will take today? (It needs to be simple and
should not take more than five minutes of your time).
What will your reward be when you accomplish the first / second
step?
If you’d like to share with me any thoughts or a question that pops into
your mind, I’d be happy to answer it personally at [email protected].
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4. Make a commitment
―In life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what
they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.‖
Antony Robbins
I believe that it is in the moments of decision that our destiny is shaped.

More than anything else, I believe it is our decisions, not the conditions of
our lives, that determine our destiny.
There are no failures in life. There are only results. If you didn’t get the
results you wanted, learn from this experience so that you have reference
points for how to make better decisions in the future.
Where we are right now is the consequence of decisions we made in the

past. So, if you want a different life, make different decisions. Don’t
complain about the current state of affairs, because you are the only one
who can change them. There is no golden fish or magic wand that will
come along one day and change it all for you (although there are moments
in our lives when we would all wish such a thing to happen... :)). Instead,
take matters into your own hands and seize the day! Make a decision and
commit yourself to it.
A one-week challenge
Make it a one-week challenge. No matter what your goal and initial baby
step were, decide to commit one week to a few more baby steps.
At the beginning of the week, set down how far you want to go and split
this goal into small steps, each for every day of the week. If one step takes
up too much of your time, simply split it into a two-day step.
The more you have been procrastinating over these steps, the smaller the
steps should be in order to make you believe that you can do it!
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5. Less information, more

focus – faster results!
A 1-MONTH LOW-INFORMATION DIET
What is this and why is this a must-do diet?

According to findings reported in the Telegraph, “in 1986 we received
around 40 newspapers full of information every day but this had rocketed
to 174 in 2007.”
Wow! Imagine how peaceful their brains must have felt most of the time
back in 1986...
Of course, lifelong learning is essential and I am not saying that you

should cut down on that. What I am trying to point out is the information
you do not need at all – especially that which is bombarded at you on a
daily basis from the media, advertisements, social media, etc.
One of the biggest obstacles to achieving our goals and living the life we
want is a thousand and one distractions every day! Where do they come
from? They derive from various sources, which we will look at in more
detail in the time management section, but they also come from the
feeling that “our mind is simply overwhelmed”.
Have you ever felt like your brain is going to explode or like you cannot
squeeze any more pieces of information into your head at that very
moment? Well, if that’s the case – I’m prescribing you a 1-month low-
information diet!
The first time I went on a low-information diet was during a year of study
in Austria. During that year, I barely followed media at home, I forgot all
about newspapers and magazines, and I didn’t have a Facebook account
at the time so thankfully this was not a problem.
And, crucially, this was the time during which I could finally FOCUS! If
your head is occupied and in the process of digesting thousands of pieces
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of information all the time, then it becomes an impossible mission to

focus on the goal at hand.
Tim Ferris recommends this low-information diet in his bestselling book

The 4-hour Working Week.
What are you allowed to do during your low-information-

diet?
- you are allowed to use and digest information that you need for
your work and personal life
What are you not allowed to do?
- read daily magazines and newspapers

- use social media (if you use them for your business, try to focus
on posting and try to avoid getting too many new pieces of
information when liking, tweeting, sharing, etc.)
- read daily advertisements that come by mail
- open spam e-mail
What are the benefits of the low-information diet?
- you make some room in your head

- you can finally focus on the task or goal at hand
- you have more time and energy than you can ever imagine
- you are not jealous of people lying on the beach while you are
stuck at your office with tight deadlines and rude customers on the
phone
- you finally start to feel safe and joyful in life – there are no
terrorist attacks, the new economic crisis, climate change
challenges, etc. filling your brain every minute of every day. In
your world, there is simply you, your goal, your dreams, and the
baby steps you need to take in order to achieve these and move to
another level of existence.
- you will learn that no matter how strict the diet, other people will
always be updating you on the “breaking news” so you will not be
missing out on anything at all!
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- you will have time to talk to yourself, your sub-consciousness and

give it a real break.
When I first started with the low-information diet seven years ago,
nobody was talking about it. My parents were trying to persuade me to
read daily newspapers again when I returned home (because this is what
intellectual and successful people are supposed to do) and my friends
were sceptical about my no-knowledge on political affairs that are
constant topics of conversation and which everybody complains about.
“You simply must follow the current political trends,” they would
admonish me.
According to findings in sociology and philosophy, the media are and

have always been used by the governing elites as a tool of control and
subjugation of the masses.. The best way to control people is by placing
them and keeping them in a constant state of fear – fostered by the
feverish reporting of constant economic crises, attacks, political issues,
laying off of workers, rising prices of basic goods...
Ever since I started my business, everybody was deeply shocked that I

quit my job in the middle of the economic crisis. Well, in my head with
my low-information diet, there was no economic crisis or at least not as
bad as it was for others. I did not watch the 7 o’clock news every evening
to hear more and more stories about workers being made redundant. I
didn’t hear it on the radio five times a day. I didn’t read it in the morning
newspaper. Of course, I was aware of the present economic situation – no
matter how strict your information diet is, you will always hear the “top
news” from your friends and family or in public places (I can’t believe
how many people talk about such “inspiring” topics while going to a
sauna or a pool on the weekend...). However, my fear was much more
insubstantial than the fear that others were feeling constantly and that is
why I knew I can conquer it and I knew deep inside my heart that I can
succeed!
People succeed all around the world in business all the day – why
shouldn’t I succeed as well? There is always room for one more
successful person :). This was my perspective.
Of course, I’m not saying that you should stop reading newspapers,
articles, blogs, etc. entirely. Constant learning is the key to success. What
35
this information diet gives you is a new perspective on what information

has any significance for your life and what doesn’t at all.
If nothing else, after one month, you will receive proof that you will get
enough updates on the “latest national news” from your friends, co-
workers, family members or on the radio in a grocery store.
And you might realise that in order to stay informed you basically need
about fifteen minutes a day in order to get into a general chit-chat with a
shop assistant. Everything else is unimportant and can thus be reduced to
zero minutes – which means you get another extra hour or two EACH
day! How does that sound to you?
Last year, my father even received a recommendation from a life coach

that he as a manager should cancel the daily newspaper due to the
excessive amount of negative news that were having an adverse effect on
his psychology and productivity. I didn’t say “I told you so,” because that
would be unfair, but I felt happy and excited for him.
Although he didn’t manage to stay on an information diet as strict as

mine, he did limit his intake of new information by more than 50%! And
after stopping the diet, he realised that it is more than enough to just read
the headlines and spend the rest of the time gardening instead of watching
the 7 o’clock news.
Believe me, once you successfully accomplish a 1-month low-information

diet, your life will never be the same!
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Step two: Master your time!
If you are in the room, be in the room.

Nigel Risner
37
There’s nothing more precious nowadays than our time. If we have all the
money in the world, we can buy ourselves anything – a big house, a fancy
car, an elite study – but we can never buy time. Time is becoming more
and more invaluable. Most people nowadays live under constant time
pressure. You probably hear them saying: “There’s not enough time to do
that!” or “I don’t have enough hours in the day!”.
When starting my own business, I was struggling with exactly the same
problem. How do you squeeze more into your day? So I started skipping
long meals, went to bed late or got up very early in order to squeeze this
one or two more things into my full schedule! At first, I thought I had
found a solution, but after a year I felt exhausted from this constant battle
with my foe – time – that I seemed to be losing on all fronts! What a
terrible feeling!
To cap it all, I didn’t reach my goals for the given year and reached burn
out!
I needed a solution and I needed it quickly! These were my steps:
38
1. Plan your day

And by plan your day I do not mean write down as many tasks as you
would like to squeeze into 5 days. By plan your day, I mean estimate how
much approximately one task will take of your time and write it down.
Together with this book, you will have received a “daily planner” for your
day that I designed for myself and use every day.
2. Set goals!
Some people prefer to plan their days one day in advance, on the previous
evening. For me, this doesn’t work out very well, because I keep thinking
about the tasks of the day ahead instead of finding peace in my mind
before drifting into sleep. That is why I always get up in the morning, do
yoga and, while preparing my breakfast, ask myself: Where do I want to
arrive? What is my long-term goal?
So, take the time to feel it. Meditate on it if necessary; go for a walk in
nature. Once you have done this, do not trouble yourself with second
thoughts or self-doubts, those counter-productive phrases such us I-don’t-
know-if-this-is-possible-at-all. Walt Disney once said: “If you can dream
it, you can have it.”
Write it on the line at the top of the mountain. This is where you want to
be in 6 months, 12 months, whatever timeframe you prefer. So what are
the smaller hills you need to climb first, before you can climb the highest
mountain? What are the small steps?
Remember: the first step is always very basic and small. Something you
can do in five to ten minutes. For example: if your goal is to travel to
Brazil, the first step is to check the price of the plane tickets. If your goal
is to become a millionaire, the first step is to order a book or find a
webpage from somebody who already is a millionaire in order to learn his
or her story.
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Well done! Now you can see your first step! Always write very basic
steps, steps that your brain will understand as doable, not as “impossible
to achieve”. If one of the steps is seemingly huge for you (e.g. shoot a 30-
minute movie), break it down into smaller steps, such us: find a movie
maker, write a script for a one-minute movie, shoot one minute and
improve it with the next minute, etc.
When you see where you are going in the next few months, decide what
you can do today, to get one step closer – write these under priorities. If
you have a regular job or other projects that need to be done, write them
down as well, but in the first place. The first ones should be booked for
your priorities.
In today’s world, everybody has a list of people one needs to call or write
to, so write these down in the second column. Last but not least is the
column where you write your daily activities outside your home or office
– meetings, gym, grocery shopping, etc.
3. Batch tasks
For me, batching tasks made an enormous difference to my efficiency. If
you have ten emails to write, write them all in one batch. If you have five
places to go to outside your office, make a list and do them all together. If
you have five people to call, take the time to call them all, one by one in
one batch. If you have three blog posts to write or a few videos to shoot,
write them all together, one by one, because in that way your brain is
already “in the writing mode” or in the “let’s shoot some video mode”.
Often, we need some time to prepare for a certain activity. If you need to
shoot five videos or one, it always takes you some prep time for the
camera, lighting, turning on the devices, dressing up the way you want to
be presented... By batching the task, you don’t “waste” this preparation
time that you would otherwise need for each and every video shoot.
Instead of preparing the camera five times, you only do it once.
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4. Monotasking is the new

multitasking!
Nowadays, we are often forced to multitask. Multitasking hurts your
brain.
We call somebody while driving, we work and at the same time talk on
social media sites, we eat while reading or watching TV... Multitasking
has got under our skin and we have adapted to it to such an extent that we
barely know how it is NOT to multitask.
There is a funny phenomenon I have noticed in many people who

multitask all the time. Even when in meetings, they cannot resist putting a
like on somebody’s comment on their Facebook page or texting someone
or answering calls. Of course, we have all experienced situations that are
urgent and simply cannot wait. However, I recently got the impression
that some people seem to have an awful lot of these urgent situations ALL
THE TIME!
Two things happen in this case:

First, such people live under constant time pressure and feel that there is
never enough time. To top it all, they always feel they are extremely busy
and that means that they will earn lots of income, right? Because they feel
they deserve it – hell, they do, they are always so terribly busy. But does
that mean they are effective and financially successful as well? Not
necessarily...
Second, they never feel the present moment, the people, the experience
they are in that very particular moment. While in the meeting, they work
on social media sites, while with their husband they text somebody, while
with their kids, they talk on the phone – while their kid is waiting for their
attention.
Learning how to be present in every moment is one of the hardest things

to learn. But it is definitely worth all the effort. You only live one life –
why not live it passionately and vibrantly?
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Why is multitasking not effective?

Julie Morgenstern, a productivity expert, says that you will get much
more done if you stop multitasking and break your email addiction.
Scientific studies have shown that your brain cannot effectively or
efficiently switch between tasks, so each time you switch between tasks
you lose time and energy. Our brain needs four times longer to recognise
a new thing, so every time you switch, it needs some time to recognise the
new problem you are supposed to deal with.
Have you ever noticed that you make more mistakes when you are doing
more things all at once? It has been happening to me more and more
often, when at some point I realised I have to stop the social media and
email addiction, because it has a terrible influence on my work efficiency.
5. Get away from any screen,

and I do not mean only the
computer screen!
Our brain needs “screen breaks” – as Julie Morgenstern calls them, in our
personal and business life. They should be at least one to three hours long,
in order for you to engage in deeper and different ways of thinking.
Many think that email distraction is the only problem we have. However,
it is not only the emails at work, it is simply everything we can do on our
smartphones, anytime we want. We can chat with friends, share photos,
create a Pinterest board, do business... So, when I mean get away from the
screen, I mean any screen – including smartphones.
When you unplug, your brain engages in deeper activities, you are present
in the moment, feeling a deeper connection with yourself, the Universe or
the people with you.
Often, we complain about not having enough time. Rather than

complaining, make sure you use the time you have to be fully present. To
unplug, feel the moment and really be with the person next to you instead
42
of checking social media sites or texting while you are having a

conversation with your friend. After all, he or she is there for you, not for
your mobile!
6. Listen to your biorhythms

and organise your day
accordingly
This is even more important if you are an entrepreneur because whatever
you do you are going to have more free time and more money if you are
effective and efficient when you are actually working! So make sure you
are working at your 100%!
Listen to your body – do you need three cups of coffee and another hour
to finally open your eyes fully and start being productive? Then do not set
the alarm clock at 6 am. It makes no sense. The time you spend checking
emails and social media sites while trying to finally wake up could be
much better used by sleeping longer and then starting your day with full
power and strength!
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7. Set a limited number of

priorities and stick to them
Sometimes when we hear the word priorities, we simply start writing

down everything we would like to accomplish during the next week,
instead of only in the next day. It is in human nature that we
underestimate the amount of time we will need for one task, so most
people plan at least twice as much to be done in the next day than it is
possible to be done.
Why is setting priorities for the day so important? If you know what your
priorities are – do not forget to set a few of them – you will be less likely
to get distracted or let yourself be interrupted. You will have a clear focus
for that day.
8. Identify time thieves and

eliminate them
Write a journal or a report for one week to yourself instead of to your
boss and identify what causes repeated drag or drain on your time. These
can be social media sites, workflow, phone calls, etc. One by one, take
44
these things and find a solution. You might not be able to fix them
straight away, but try to find a way around them.
For example: many people complain about email distraction and then they
decide to make a rough change by checking emails only once or twice a
day. Because the leap between checking emails all the time and checking
them twice a day might be too big, they often return to their usual routine
quite quickly. What you can do instead is to decide to check them four
times a day at first, then three times a day, then two times a day. Or you
can decide not to check them during the first hour of the morning in order
to have time to plan your day, do some reading, write an article or book,
do some strategic planning, or activities that demand deeper thinking.
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Step three: Practise

mindfulness
―Gratitude for the present moment and the fullness of life now is true
prosperity. It cannot come in the future. Then, in time, that prosperity
manifests for you in various ways.‖
Eckhart Tolle
46
Mindfulness – noun
Definition: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of
heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or
experiences on a moment-to-moment basis
(Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
47
“One day, I’ll make it”, was something I would think while I was working
hard day in day out in order to reach my goal of setting up a global online
business . But the question I didn’t ask of myself was: Is what I’m doing
only a means to an end? Is my goal so important to me that without me
noticing it throws a shadow on the present moment? Do I still enjoy the
present moments or do I only hurry from day to day, in order to finally
“make it one day”?
Of course, I didn’t realise the mistake I was making at that moment.

Again, I needed a reminder, something coming from outside myself, to
remind me that I was doing it wrong. That I had lost the connection to my
inner being, to myself, to my true purpose of feeling hopefulness and joy
every day.
There came a time when I felt so tired I just couldn’t get out of bed in the
morning – for many days, weeks, etc. That’s when the question popped
into my head: What or who (of course, I first looked for an easy culprit)
robs me of all my energy?
And I found out it was the constant hurrying and focusing all my thoughts
on a “better future” which led me to totally forget to live my life in that
present moment.
The present moment is the only thing that matters. Because by living each
present moment fully, we create a vibrant future. Without joy in the
present moment, how can we expect our future to be any different? Each
present moment adds up to a distant future. If we are not able to change
our perspective and the feeling of the present moment now, why should
we expect our future to be any different?
It took me a while to arrive at this realisation because of an unpleasant

personal experience with migraines and serious fatigue.
In the beginning, it seemed impossible. How can I live my life with

passion when there are so many deadlines, difficult customers on the
phone, and so little money in my back account?
Somebody must be fooling me around to demand that, I thought. So, I

started with baby steps.
48
What is the first small step that you can take to learn how
to live in this very moment?
1. Start with a hobby or an

activity you enjoy
Try to fully immerse yourself in what you are doing. Feel every step you
take, every move you make, feel the wind, hear the sounds, the birds, the
people, smell the air and what is inside it. Breathe deeply.
Be there and don’t be trapped in some place in the future or distant

pleasant or unpleasant situation in the past. Be in that very moment. Feel
it, embrace it, memorise it.
At first, you’ll need to decide consciously to do this; later, however, it

will become more and more natural to you. There are no words to
describe how much the quality of time spent anywhere increases by at
least five or even ten times! Of course, it is difficult to prove such
observations scientifically as they are based on subjective judgment, so
you’ll need to try it for yourself. I can guarantee you won’t be
disappointed.
49
2. Be present in a situation or
activity that you don’t enjoy as
much
Maybe you don’t like Monday meetings or you don’t like cleaning up, or
being stuck in traffic jams.
When the situation comes up, don’t wander in your head again and again
to the past incidents that make you feel miserable and are only proof for
your ego of how miserable your life is.
Of course, sometimes we do need to refer to the past, but often we do this

way too often. I see past experiences as lectures – lectures I learned
something from. No matter if they were good or bad experiences, I try to
find a meaning in all of them and search for a take-away, a gift.
For example, if you failed at your exam and you think about it often in
your present, then you reinforce that negative self-image of you not being
capable of passing the exam.
More than 90% of our problems and the things we worry about that might
happen never even come to pass at all. So, all that we are doing is
stressing out in this very present moment (meaning, we are losing the
moment and thus are not able to fully enjoy it) about something that in all
likelihood will never even happen?!
This happened to me a billion times (give or take a few million :)) when I
started my own business from scratch. I had very few savings that
vanished during the first months and then I was stressing out due to
money issues every single day. Would there be enough customers who
would buy my services or not? Some other business people in my branch
told me they hardly sell a thing during summer. Yikes! I would be
stressed out two months in advance and was trying to increase sales...
until I realised after two years and two summers had passed that you
cannot predict business. You cannot predict cash flow. Of course, there
are some tendencies, some low and high spots, but nobody can predict it
for your business!
50
My biggest mistake was that I was trying to calm myself down at the
present moment and was thus trying to predict the future in order to make
myself feel more confident, more secure. The biggest problem that
everyone faces in every field of our lives is that we are trying to solve
imaginary problems in the present that are only destined to crop up in the
future. The truth is that we are still in the present, so we cannot solve
future problems! We can only solve them when they arise, when we are in
the situation itself: as the saying goes, we can only cross the bridge when
we get to it. That is when we can fully focus on the problem and find a
solution. But not two months in advance!
Of course, you can, and should, always have a plan B or similar escape
plan in case your business fails. However, why should it fail in the first
place? If you are committed to mastering the skills and knowledge that it
takes to building a successful business, you will eventually build it. It’s
not rocket science! So many people around the world have managed to set
up a business from scratch, myself included, so there is no good reason
why you shouldn’t manage it as well!
When I tell this to my friends and colleagues they say: “Yeah, it’s
different for you. You like marketing, I don’t.” Or, “It’s easy for you.
You know English and German. I don’t.” Or they say, “But it’s different
for you. I have this and that. I have kids. I don’t have a website.”
Well, the truth is that when I started my business I had no knowledge of

marketing whatsoever. I had no idea how to set up website, so I attended
a workshop on “How to set up your own website” precisely to remedy my
gap of knowledge in that area! I paid a fortune to learn the newest trends
in marketing and I bought so many books on business that it became
impossible to fit each of them on my bookshelves in the living room.
That’s when Kindle books became my greatest allies. That, and a few
new bookshelves for my bedroom!
Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and I am living proof that this saying
holds true for every human being.
51
Step four: Earn money doing

something you believe in
The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t
found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart,
you’ll know when you find it.
Steve Jobs
52
1. Why is this so important?

It was back in the times when I was still working in one of my 9 to 5 full-
time jobs when it struck me. I was wondering why some people seemed
happy enough to stay in the hamster cage when I was not. It was that
weird what’s-wrong-with-me-feeling.
Finally, I figured out that their main values were totally different to mine.
My greatest value that I have been driven by for so many years, yet had
difficulties defining, was freedom.
Based on the Dilts pyramid of values, couples have much more higher
chances of their relationship lasting if their main values coincide.
The same goes for our jobs. If what we do isn’t aligned with our values,
we compromise our integrity every day, for 8+ hours. How can we expect
ourselves to be passionate and vibrant in such a situation?
While talking to my work colleagues, I found out that their main value
was security; that is why they felt that a pay check on the 15th of every
month and the feeling that the pay check would be there no matter what
provided them with that feeling of security – and thus fulfilled their main
value. As opposed to my lifestyle and values, which called for freedom in
everything, I could not be passionate and happy in this situation because
security was placed very low on my list of values – too low, apparently :).
2. Believe in what you do!

When starting my own business, people kept asking me the same question
again and again: “How come you are happy all the time?”. I just couldn’t
figure out the answer or reason for why this was so.
In contrast to some friends of mine, I truly believe in the products and

services I sell. I truly believe in the message I am trying to get across –
because it is my own voice. It is not somebody else’s voice – it is not my
boss’s voice or my company’s voice. It is my voice and my message. My
brand is based on my personal values.
53
I didn’t have to adopt the values that someone in the marketing or PR

department wrote for the company I work for in order to have to say: In
our company we do this... because we believe that...
In order for you to believe in what you do, you have two options: you can
either find a job in a company or organisation whose ethos and practice
are aligned with your values (for example, don’t go for a position in a
pharmacy if you feel that their products suck), or start your own business.
Either one is fine.
3. Is this the right job for me?

After one year in any job, many people suffer from the same problems. In
the first twelve months, they often find out that their ideal image of their
job position is not the same as the reality. Scientists call this the “Honey-
Hangover-Effect” – a hangover after the honeymoon is over.
Management professors Wendy Boswell and Abbie Shipp from Texas

A&M University found out that after six months in a new job, job starters
become less and less satisfied with it. They conducted research based on
satisfaction factors – such us salary, motivation, and feedback. The
outcome: irrespective of the salary and feedback, the interviewees had
doubts about their job after one year. The more enthusiastic they were at
the beginning, the less satisfied they were after one year.
Harvard professor Howard Gardner claims that there are three Es based
on which you can determine whether a job is right for you or not. The Es
stand for excellence, ethics and engagement. According to Gardner,
“excellence” means that we are competent in what we do. A job is ethical
if the result of the job has a positive impact on society or other people.
The last E, “engagement”, tallies closely with self-fulfilment. So, before
you quit your job, take pen and paper and write down what bothers you –
do you want to take more important decisions, is it the atmosphere in the
office, your boss? What are your goals?
On the other hand, there’s no sense in sitting your current job out. Either
talk to your boss if your problem is something he or she can help you with
54
(e.g. more responsibility, flexible working hours) or think of a better

strategy. Once you define the problem, you might see that there are tons
of solutions for them, and one of them may even be quitting.
Of course, if your job does not allow you to e.g. take on more
responsibility, your best option may actually be to quit (I know how you
feel – been there, done that).
55
Step five: Your body is your

temple
56
1. Energise your body

Our body is the key to our existence. Without it, we would only be ghosts
floating around. It gives us the power to stand, walk, and climb. It gives
us the power to talk, sing, and kiss. It gives us the power to find a soul
mate and to make love :).
It gives us the power to do everything we love to do, and yet we

sometimes neglect it. We malnourish it, we forget that it is built to be
physically active as well. We forget that one of our body’s basic needs is
the need for sleep.
Sadly, I used to be exactly a typical hyper-working girl forgetting about

healthy nutrition, enough sleep, and regular exercise. Everything was
going well (or so I thought) up until the moment when my more than two-
three year journey around various medical specialists started. With little
or no results, I dived into the unknown world of everything that exists on
Earth with one simple goal: to feel healthy, fit, and vibrant again. To find
my balance and my way of living that at the end of the day would give me
more energy, not rob from me all the available resources.
Of course, this isn’t intended to be a diet book, but I would simply like to
share with you some tips and tricks as well as general guidelines to get
you eating in a way that will improve your health and create a great basis
for feeling passion and happiness in your life.
Here’s what I found out.
Alkaline diet
The diet I was prescribed by a health nutritionist is based on the fact that
certain foods can affect the acidity and pH of bodily fluids, including
urine or blood.
The results I noticed after the first month were astonishing and hence my
motivation to continue was high. Later, I was surprised to read that
Antony Robbins lives according to the same diet and even teaches about
it during his live events! Yeah!
57
Some foods are alkaline-forming and others are acid-forming. The first
ones will give you energy, whereas the latter will rob it from you.
Alkaline-forming foods are all non-starchy vegetables and you should eat
as much as you can of these. Fruit is also alkaline-forming, but due to its
high sugar content you should aim to limit fruit to a maximum of two
servings per day.
In order to see the powerful effects of the alkaline diet, you need to
reduce the intake of acid-forming foods. These are grains, dairy products,
meat, and other proteins.
Another vital component of the alkaline diet is essential oils rich in

Omega 3, 6, and 9. Some are found in all vegetable oils; especially rich in
Omega 3 is flaxseed oil (funny flavor, but you get used to it), oils from
nuts and soybean oil. Some nutritional experts also highly recommend oil
from fish or seafood.
How do you alkalise your body?
1. Give up on refined sugar in all forms (also honey, juices and syrups)
and all foods containing refined sugar (cakes, muffins, etc.).
2. Don’t drink soft drinks – they are rich in sugar and contain carbon
dioxide, which makes them highly acid-forming foods.
3. Give up on all animal source products – meat, meat products, eggs,
milk and dairy products. Furthermore, give up on all starchy foods,
especially those from white flour.
4. Eat alkaline-forming foods. Fruit and vegetables – fresh, organic, and
non-GMO.
Energise with alkaline-forming foods
According to scientific research, most metabolic processes require a

balance between acids and bases. The pH value of our blood should
always be slightly alkaline.
Most acids are by-products of the metabolism of popular modern foods,

such us sugar, meat and grains, while the metabolism of fruit and
58
vegetables forms bases. Fruit and vegetables consist of numerous

minerals that are alkaline-forming.
What’s the perfect ratio? In order to maintain the acid-alkaline balance we

need to eat 80% of alkaline-forming foods and only 20% of acid-forming
foods. When I first read that, I thought: “Impossible!...???”.
Today, I don’t think it’s impossible, but it is very challenging, especially

at the beginning. However, the variety of products that can help you
achieve this goal has more than doubled in recent years. There are plenty
of organic raw shakes with high nutritional intake in vegetables,
smoothies, bars, etc. that I’m not going to promote. But I’m sure you’ll be
able to find something for your temple of health :).
Can I measure it?

Yup, good news, you can! If you want to know if there are too many acids
floating around your body and thus burdening it, you can take a test. It’s
very affordable and the only thing you need are pH indicators that will
show you the pH of your urine on the pH scale. If your values are more
often than not in the acidic range, you probably need to detox your body.
As already said, I’m not a nutrition coach or anything similar and this is
based solely on my personal experience (and of course a stock of
literature that I digested), so I encourage you to consult an expert if have
any health issues or are not sure about the diet.
2. We like to move it, move it!

One of the methods of a healthy lifestyle I am still incredibly grateful for
is the one about doing sport the right way. If this may sound weird,
continue reading this next chapter and you’ll see why.
Moving your body, strengthening your muscles – all of this is vital for our
well-being, even more so if we have a predominantly sedative lifestyle.
In light of the alkaline-acid balance, a German researcher Dr. Peter

Jentschura developed a detoxification method of our bodies in order to
stay healthier and fit when you grow older.
59
His main idea is a dual approach – we need to cleanse our bodies by using
products that take away the excessive acids from our bodies and nourish
them with vitamins and minerals at the same time in order to provide our
organs and cells with the food they need. In this way, we can feel vitality
for much longer than many people these days.
When doing sport, his suggestion is to focus on the three ground rules:
1. Before the activity, take alkaline-forming minerals.

2. After the activity, take an alkaline bath to take away the acids (lactic
acid).
3. Take in foods that are alkaline-forming and enable your body to
regenerate.
I tested this formula numerous times – after a three-day hiking and

climbing trip in the Alps, after jogging in the park – it worked every time,
without exception. How do I know it worked? Because every time I used
alkaline care after the activity I had no muscle ache or next to none.
Muscle ache occurs due to over-exertion during an activity. Lactic and

carbonic acids are produced and it is because of these that we feel pain
the next day. They stay in the connective tissue and irritate our muscles.
The more acid you have in your muscles, the stronger the pain.
60
Step six: Improve

relationships
61
I’ve never considered myself to be an expert on relationships.

Nevertheless, in recent years more and more people have started asking
me for advice on their partner relationships spontaneously. Mostly, it
would start as an innocent conversation about this and that. Later on,
when I told them my husband (previously boyfriend) and I have had a
relationship since 1999, people started asking me all kinds of questions.
How do we still light that spark? How come you don’t get bored? What’s
the key to a strong relationship? Do you need to be very tolerant or
simply ignore everything that bothers you about your partner?
That’s why I have decided to dedicate this chapter of my book to

relationships in general – with your partner, friends, business partners,
family, co-workers. I’d like to share with you some valuable lessons that
have given me the chance to bring the relationships with my friends and
family to a completely new level.
1. Don’t take anything

personally
Each of us lives in his or her unique little world of beliefs and principles,
values and virtues. And this forms the basis for our actions and
interactions. The words we say and the words we don’t. Often we feel
angry, disappointed, offended by what somebody said or did to us – a
friend, partner, colleague, family member.
People react and say things to you based on their beliefs and feelings.
Based on their individual little world. Seldom with the intention to drive
you crazy. Very often with good intent or even with no intent at all.
For me, realising this was a huge breakthrough. I finally realised that
there’s no use in being angry, upset, depressed, etc., because everything I
would hear would always be said because of other people’s beliefs.
There’s no one to judge whether my world is better than their world and
vice versa. They are simply two different worlds and they should stay that
way.
62
So, whenever you feel upset by what somebody has told you or done to
you, remember it was rarely meant to do you harm. These encounters are
simply a reflection of other people’s worlds and of course this may
collide with your world.
The point of the conversation is not to be right, it is to feel good and have
a great relationship. And I’m sure we all agree that by feeling offended,
upset or angry, we will more often react in a way that we might regret
later. Have you ever experienced something similar? :)
2. People in your life aren’t

there to make you happy
You are the only one responsible for your own happiness.
Often, in a relationship, we blame other people for our unhappy life. If

this is true, we have two choices:
- either to accept the person and the situation;

- or to leave the situation and the person in order to live a different
life.
Mexican author Don Miguel writes in his book that you should never give
another person your happiness. Your happiness has its source inside you
and it is your own responsibility; you are responsible for your own
happiness.
Often, we blame people around us for our own unhappiness. The only one
who is responsible for our happiness is us! We are the only ones who
perceive certain circumstances as good or bad – we give them a label:
happy versus unhappy.
Anyhow, you have probably heard it a million times: S/he makes me

unhappy / is responsible for my unhappiness. If only s/he could change.
Then, I’d be truly happy.
63
Forget that nonsense! You are responsible for your happiness, so go and
make yourself happy right now! Go and be responsible for your own
happiness!
3. Let’s go deeper
Write down the answers to the following questions and become aware of
what you think.
What kind of relationship do you want to have?
Who do you deeply care about and how do you want to come across to
them? What kind of relationship do you want to have with this person?
What do you want to give to this relationship?
64
Step seven: Make friends

with money!
65
Why make friends? I didn’t use to be friends with money. What do I

mean by that? Well, I literally used to hate paying all those bills, taking
care of my savings account, planning how to save for something bigger.
Honestly, I was focusing so much on my job that I figured that my
finances would take care of themselves. Well, to my deep disappointment,
they didn’t!
So I woke up one day and realised that I had spent all of the money I had
saved for ten years on vacation trips, a new car, countless books and
seminars, etc.
My first reaction was simple: I started blaming my husband for spending

too much money and/or earning too little. I was 100% certain that it was
his fault that we had spent so much money in less than a year, because it
was evident that he’s even less of a friend with finances and planning than
I was.
After a few arguments, I did what I always do when I have a problem to

solve – I go online, read and buy books and courses on the topic I want to
improve my knowledge in.
Wow, those were times when I discovered so much about myself and my
subconscious beliefs about money that I was in serious doubt – should I
deny it a bit longer, because it definitely feels much better that way, or
should I try to face the problem and find a better way to deal with it.
Here are the steps I took to overcome my money woes:
1. Overcome poverty consciousness

2. Reset your beliefs
3. Learn how to manage money
4. Live below your means
66
First step: Overcome poverty

consciousness
Not everybody has issues with this, but since lots of people do I’m going
to talk about these problems first. It is of great significance for any bigger
problems you may want to deal with.
Often, we focus on surface problems, such us being in debt, having too

little money, or spending too much money on things that don’t really
make us happy. This is often just the tip of the iceberg. The truth is that
what is underneath the surface is often the reason for these counter-
productive and stressful money habits in the first place. So, let’s dive in
and give our full attention to the lowest (and biggest) part of the iceberg.
Where does poverty consciousness come from?
It comes from limiting beliefs about money that we adopted when we

were young, such us:
Money is the root of all evil.

Becoming rich is too great a struggle.
You need to be ruthless to be rich.
…
Overcoming beliefs is one of the biggest challenges for most people. In

my opinion, the most successful way is to find a coach who will be able
to coach you through this.
67
Second step: Reset your

beliefs
Every one of us holds certain beliefs about money and other parts of life.
We are aware that we hold certain beliefs and we even express these out
loud. However, there are other beliefs that we are not aware of. We
adopted them as children and they have become part of our conditioning.
They are so strong that we often hold them for the only possible truth and
way of thinking.
In order to find out what beliefs you have, take a pen and piece of paper
and focus on this writing exercise.
What truths, opinions and beliefs of other people did you hear, see or feel
when you were a child?
How did you perceive your financial situation at home? What was your
parents’ opinion about money and what did they teach you about that
topic?
Write about an occasion involving finances where you felt strong negative
feelings of any kind. What happened? What was the result? Does it affect
your current relationship with money?
How do you change a belief?
Personally, I have changed my belief about money through various

activities, mostly coaching, but also through various workshops.
The first step in this direction is always to become aware of what your
belief is – you have done this already, so congrats for that! The next step
for me is to find a new belief and plant it into your brain.
68
Third step: Learn how to

manage money
Managing money is not something we learn at school, unfortunately. We
simply assume that we know it although most adults never really
consciously manage money. Can you answer these questions?
How much do you spend on food per year/month?

How much do you spend on your car per year/month?
How much do you spend on your housing per year/month?
How much do you spend on your health per year/month?
How much do you spend on your vacation per year/month?
How much do you spend on your education per year/month?
Most people don’t have a clue how much they spend and so it is
impossible for them to know what they spend lots of money on. The first
key step in managing money well is to know how much you spend and
what you spend it on!
69
Fourth step: Live below your

means
More often than not, our lives are stressful because we are encouraged to
live hyper-consumerist lifestyles that mean we end up living above our
means. We purchase that fancy car, big house or a vacation that we need
to pay off for the next few months or years, sometimes even decades. I
suggest you fight the urge to do this. If you want to live your life your
way, paying off your loans can often get in the way of what you want
because you can’t just simply quit your job, invest in a new business or
pay for that course you have always dreamt of. So, remember that it is
much easier to take that next step towards living your life your way if
you’re not worried about making another ten payments for your new
house, car, etc.
70
From an average hamster life

to the life of her dreams...
71
This is the true story of our hamster Tina who step by step embarked on
the journey of achieving her goals, shifting her reality and the limits of
what she thought possible, and reaching for her dreams.
Of course, now she has even bigger dreams, but everything is easier now.
Because she knows that no matter how cliché it sounds, everything is

possible.
Because now she knows how to be the boss of her 24 hours every day.
Because she knows how to set up a business (and earn money from it).
Because she knows that no matter what happens, she will always find a
way.
And at the end of the day, she feels grateful to have been given this
chance to experience this remarkable journey called life.
And she doesn’t let it pass by accident: she wants to live it with her own
purpose :).
In case you have any comments or questions that haven’t been answered
in this book, I encourage you to send them to [email protected].
72
Congrats!
Congrats for reading this book and going through all the exercises (You
did do them, right? :)). I advise you to return to the same exercises after a
while, so you can compare how your beliefs or goals might change in the
future.
I honour you for making this first step towards your life – I know it may
feel far-fetched, I know you might be feeling overwhelmed, but hey,
everybody always starts at the beginning!
73
Connect with me
Wanna read more? You can find me here: www.tinagrilc.com.
Also, you can get in touch with me through the following social media
sites:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tina.grilc.3
Google Plus: https://plus.google.com/+TinaGrilc-PickYourLife/about
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCROsBOeGk5KfLAawq4A6uUQ
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TinaGrilc
LinkedIn: https://si.linkedin.com/in/tinagrilc
74

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The views expressed are those of the author

8. Identify time thieves and eliminate them .................................................. 44

At first, I felt that everything was as it should be in my life – I excelled at

Fortunately, at least from my current perspective, my body came up with

While searching for my own meaning, I came across

- figured out how to listen to my heart and what it is that my heart is

- started earning money doing something I believed in and thus

- finally discovered how to trust and overcome my deepest fears, so

- finally understood the power of taking action now – not tomorrow,

- overcome my poverty consciousness and started working as a

A story about a hamster

Under Article 1 of the Hamsterville Constitution, each hamster was

There was one problem with our hamster – her heart.

could ride the wheel of a teacher, a translator, or work in an international

Sadly, after 5 months of working there, she realised with huge

What about our environment?

She opened her laptop and started writing...

Behind the scenes

To transform words into action. To live our lives on purpose.

different energy I was radiating to the world. I just happened to be able to

Later in my life, when I started my own business and was neither

The magic happened...

We shall do work that we believe in.

We shall surround ourselves with people we care about.

We shall overcome our fears.

Step one: Be yourself!

―How do we know what it means to be who we truly are when how we

These influences derive from:

At the age of 6 most of us enrolled in school – which is great because that

Of course, we gain a lot of knowledge from various fields and later on at

While I don’t believe in conspiracy theories, I can see us being

However, it is not in human nature to live in a constant state of fear,

Lessons we learn while growing up:

You can’t say that.

1. Find what you really want!

2. What do you want from life?

3. What does life want from you?

5. How do you see yourself in the future – when you retire?

7. What would you do if money was not a problem?

8. What would you have if...

9. If you were ten years younger, what would you want?

10. What would you want if there were no limits at all?

The heart's desires

Why is it so important to acknowledge the desires of the heart? Every one

In order to make a desire a reality (especially if it is one that cannot be put

M – measurable – it is great if you can measure by various criteria

R – realistic – choose a goal that you think is possible to achieve given

T – time-related – set a deadline by which time you want to have

So be aware of the “realist trap”. Michael Jordan wanted to join a

Thinking realistically, held back by the assessment he received, would

Grab a pen and paper

Choose one that you will focus on in this exercise.

Why do you want this?