COMMON MISTAKES IN WT2 - June 9

Fritz
Common Mistakes in Writing Task 2

ESSAY – 250 words – 40 minutes
Rhoda Galutan
For the last twenty years, position of women changed
markedly as most married women entered the
workforce. There are individuals who argue that this
contributed to the problems of young children today,
such as juvenile delinquency, because mothers are not
home to take care of their children. I do not hold the
same view.
Poor socioeconomic status burdens young people today.
Some children from poor families feel that for them to
prosper, they commit crimes and it becomes a necessity
for them. Inability of a family to send their children to
school leads to poor education, thus, children result to
committing a crime as their way of getting ahead in life
without thinking of the results that comes from their
actions.
Furthermore, peer pressure in substance abuse becomes
increasingly alarming today for the youth. In their effort
to be accepted in their circle, young people take risks
ignoring the consequences. When their friends are
taking prohibited drugs, they tend to impress them by
doing just the same. As a result, they become addicted to
the substance.
Finally, neglect can greatly affect children. Studies shows
that emotional support from parents or adults is critical
in the development of adolescence. Lack of attention and
lack of proper guidance from parents play a crucial role in
their behavior. Children are more likely to seek attention
from their parents by being rebellious or being
troublesome in school and at home.
In conclusion, the poor socioeconomic status, peer
pressure in substance abuse and neglect are the
problems that young people faces today.
Therefore, while it is certainly true that working
mothers are not physically present at home at all
times, this does not mean that family values and
stable relationships are not present.
COMMON MISTAKES:
X Lengthy introduction
X Lengthy sentences
X irrelevant ideas in relation to the question
X subject verb agreement (GRAMMAR 2)
X fragments (GRAMMAR 7)
X poor paragraphing
X Lengthy conclusion
Fatima Mangahas
Topic: Working by day is favourable to many.
However, some choose to work by night because of
the night differential pay. Discuss both views and
give your opinion.
In today’s business situations, employees are

working on a shifting schedule. For many, working
on a morning shift is advantageous, nevertheless,
several workers still select night shift jobs because
of an additional pay to their basic salary.
Workforce nowadays still see that working by day

gives a person a great work-life balance. Aside from
lining up with the usual schedules, people still have
time to socialize and hang-out with friends, who are
also working the same hours. For instance, they can
eat in the cafeteria, restaurants, or other food chains
open for lunch, go to clubs, music bars, restaurants
after their shift in the afternoon and even go out of
town on weekends. Also, working by day can give
you a healthy mind, heart, and soul, because
employees are rendering activities at the normal
hours of their body clock. Hence, there will be a
lesser risk of getting various illnesses, like
cardiovascular disease and cancer. In addition,
morning shift personnel will not be thinking about the
transportation, because during the day, different
modes of transport can be accessible to them
without incurring higher fares going to work.
Therefore, actual expenses will still be the same as
budgeted.
On the other hand, there are those who do not
support this view and still choose to work at night.
The reason for this is that they are receiving a higher
compensation brought by the night shift differential
premium pay which people working by day do not
have. Not to mention, employers are also very
lenient to the graveyard staffs, thereby, giving them
other benefits such as, free shuttle to take them
home and, free fruits and food during their shifts.
Because of these, they will have extra money to buy
their needs and wants. For example, they can buy
beauty products, expensive and high-end gadgets,
not only for themselves but also for their families.
Moreover, they can also save some money for future
and emergency use. Thus, employees will be
assured that they are covered once inevitable case
occur.
In conclusion, although many believe that working at
night offers a lot of benefits, I do not support this
view. From my perspective, working by day still
provides boundless opportunities to spend great
time with the families and extending the lifespan of a
person because of a healthy lifestyle.
X Punctuation (Comma) – GRAMMAR FOR IELTS
X Lengthy sentence/ Lengthy paragraphs – lessen
enumerated items
X Verb Tenses – Grammar 3
X Prepositions – Grammar 6
Ermilyn Gearing
In most successful organizations, some people believe

that communication between managers and workers is
the most important factor, other people say that other
factors are more important. Discuss both views and give
your opinion.

It has been said many times that the most fortunate
corporation practiced a two-way communication
between management and staff. However, some say
that there are many factors that are more relevant
than just communication. This essay will discuss both
views to test which is more effective.

First, in the corporate world, there is a regular
meeting simply because this is the proper forum to
discuss future goals through planning, organizing,
implementing and evaluating current budget, events
or any circumstances. Subsequently, when there is a
regular meeting of minds, where everyone is welcome
to voice out their sentiments or suggestion, it is
beneficial to the company because they have the same
mission and vision. Meanwhile, in a hospital setting, a
successful patient care is achieved through written
communication by means of charting or verbal by
informing directly the head nurse, doctor, and patient
to name a few. Furthermore, without documenting
important details, it would be so challenging for the
doctor to assess the patient’s condition knowing that
there are also other patients in his care.

On the other hand, some say that it is not just about
communication. Regardless, whether there is a
constant and open line for every employee, without
execution would be useless. Moreover, other factors
to consider for a successful firm is the financial budget
which includes profit and expense, employee
appraisal, training for career growth, and safety and
other health hazards issues but not limited to values
and attitude in promotion of harmonious relationship
within the setting. Evidently, without all those
mentioned, an organization will not function
effectively.

In conclusion, I believe there is not just one factor to
consider in order to be on top. As long as the mission
and vision are clear to everyone, the company would
be in the right direction to reach its goals. Remember,
the advantage of working to a successful organization
provides the best interest not just to the owner of the
firm but to each and every employee as well.
ROMMEL MENGUITO
DESPITE MORE ACCESS TO EDUCATION, THERE ARE STILL

ADULTS WHO CANNOT READ AND WRITE. WHAT ARE
THE DISADVANTEGES WITHOUT THIS SKILL? WHAT CAN
THE GOVERNMENT DO TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM?

Regardless of the of the education system nowadays,
there are those people who are still incapable of reading
and writing. While there are several drawbacks to the
lack of these important skills, there are also many
probable solutions that the government can provide.
One disadvantage of this is unemployment for those
people who lack the capacity to read and write. This is
because most current jobs require literacy and
knowledge as prerequisites for work application. The
results of illiteracy is evident where those people
applying for employment are becoming the least priority,
having lower salary rates, resolving to dirty labors, and
having less chances for promotions. In effect, these
unfortunate populace are earning less for themselves
and their families, having a lower state in the society and
developing lower self-esteem. Furthermore, the lack of
these skills leads to discrimination where the people in
the society become judgmental with regard to their
abilities and education. Those who cannot adapt to live
with the standards of the community are often secluded
and mistreated.
The government can do something about these pressing
problems for those who belong to the category. They can
provide more opportunities for the less fortunate to have
access to education where they are provided with wide
range of options from lower tuition fees, education
grants, wide selection of public institutions and other
community programs providing education and basic
skills. Through these, they have more opportunities for
more decent earning jobs along with deserving
promotions for their acquired skills. In addition,
education can also include awareness for everyone to
discourage discrimination, thus helping those people in
need by organizing associations and organizations on
their behalf. As a result, these people will become assets
to the society.
To sum up, illiteracy has a great impact in the society
leading to some disadvantages for some people such as
inability to have decent jobs and being unaccepted by
the people. Hence, the government has all the power to
lessen these plights through various programs for the
citizens.
X Confusion in Word Grouping (VOCAB FOR IELTS)
Responsibility  responsible  responsibly
Increase  Increased/ing
NOUN  VERB  ADJECTIVE ADVERB
X Incorrect Pronouns (GRAMMAR 1)
X Wrong Use of Articles (GRAMMAR 1)
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Fritz

Common Mistakes in Writing Task 2

In today’s business situations, employees are

Workforce nowadays still see that working by day

In most successful organizations, some people believe

DESPITE MORE ACCESS TO EDUCATION, THERE ARE STILL

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