What Should My Mindset Be in the Club?

The mindset of a guy who attracts beautiful women comes down to four
basic themes. These are: Presence, Confidence, Fun, and Certainty.

Presence:
Outside the Club:
Presence: This can be built through building self-respect, meditation,
and nutritional habits. Why? Because these are the factors that research
has shown to have the BIGGEST effect on your concentration. It does
not take months to figure these things out. They can be hacked right
now using the following methods:
Self-respect: Focus on 5 things that you’ve already done in your life that
you are proud of. Have fun when you get in the club, but take your time
seriously and don’t waste it with unworthy women. You are a serious
man with important things to accomplish. Your time is valuable.
Nutrition: 2 hour before you go out, make a large smoothie that
includes water, bananas, kale and spinach, with arugula or Swiss chard
as substitutes or add-ons. If taken two hours before a night out, your
inflammation markers will quickly decrease and you will begin to feel
more relaxed.
 Meditation: Download Insight Timer or HeadSpace, listen to one of
the accompanying guided mindfulness meditations for 20 minutes.
Meditation has both immediate and cumulative effects, so it will help
you now to stay engaged, and over time as you meditate more.

In the club:
One minute exercise: Focus on something, anything in the outside
world. This can be the girl you are talking to, the drink you are holding,
or a painting on the wall. Look at it with total concentration. When
you start to get distracted by thoughts, bring your focus back to your
chosen focal point. As you continue throughout the night, keep cutting
off thoughts and bring your attention back to what you are doing. If the
thought is really that important, you’ll remember it later.

When you are working, focus on your work and nothing else. It’s time to
be serious and productive.

But when you are in the club, leave those thoughts outside and focus on
having fun and enjoying the titties. Take some titties home with you. It’s
not time for work now, its Titty Time!!

Confidence:
The unshakable belief that YOU are the perfect guy for the right kind of
woman is the primary reason naturals are able to get girls with no training.
They have a steady stream of thoughts that reinforce their confidence and
abundance. This can sometimes border on narcissism. What’s the secret
to these thoughts? Your inner self-talk should be primarily on things that
you’ve accomplished in the past and on congratulating yourself for taking
action now, and surpassing little bitch-boys ever further. Every outside
stimulus is interpreted as a reason why you are awesome. You will have
to CONSCIOUSLY think these thoughts at first, but after a while they
will become natural. Someone on the street looks at you? You mentally
vocalize that they must find you attractive. Someone yells at you? They’re
probably jealous of your good looks, status, and charm. Start doing this
NOW!

Do realize, not every woman is going to like a man like you. Also realize
that communicating with the belief that many women will love you and
chase you, will in fact help you get women who love you and chase you.

Fun:
Fun is the currency of the night club. Men have been getting girls solely
because they are fun for millions of years. How do we quickly hack the
mindset of a fun guy? By approaching every situation with the intention of
making it funnier. Self-amusement comes down actively making situations
more ridiculous to the point of absurdity. Boring her to death is not an
effective strategy. Make your own fun and invite her to join. If you’re such
a dull cunt that you don’t even like yourself, don’t expect her to like you
either.

Certainty:
Before the Club:
Certainty is what helps you express your personality without wavering
and pass difficult tests the girl throws at you. To get this mindset, start
by filling out the accompanying 10 Commandments of Game, 3 Sacred
Questions Workbook. Spend a few days writing the answer to these
questions in as much detail as possible. Look over the answers you’ve
given to these questions until they become a part of you. After that, the
questions should be reviewed and updated once a month to keep you on
track.

At the Club:
When something that is not ideal happens while you are out, quickly
think back to what your beliefs and values are, and act accordingly.
 Ignore stimulus that doesn’t contradict your internal code. This is
someone else imposing their will to get you to behave in a way that they
perceive to be in their best interest, but may be against yours.

Mindset sayings: “I’m here to fuck around and have fun, and approaching
girls is just a natural extension of that.”

  My Sets Go Great, But I Rarely Pull

(Part 1 – General Screening):
The biggest differentiator between an advanced guy and an intermediate
is usually NOT a deeper, more esoteric understanding of the game’s
underlying dynamics. Rather, it’s his ability to set up logistics properly and
screen girls for compatibility. This is the one skill that will double your pull
rate immediately if implemented.

Screening: Screening means evaluating which girls are compatible with

you as a short or long term partner. This happens both directly through
asking questions, and indirectly through observation. Metrics you
should screen for include:

Personality: Is this someone you have things in common with? Do you

find her compelling or obnoxious? Is this someone you could foreseeably
spend the next few hours or the next few months, or the next few years
with? Ask questions about commonalities and personality fitment
AFTER the set is hooked and she is already attracted to you. Otherwise
they will come off as too logical.

Attraction: This type of screening should be done simply by

approaching the women you are most attracted to. Don’t waste time
with women with whom you don’t even like.
 Receptiveness: Is she looking for someone tonight? Or does she just
want a friendly conversation? Don’t be the guy that figures out she has
a husband after a two-hour conversation. Good statements to make:
You’re adorable and I’m going to put a baby in your tummy. I love your
body type/shape. Uhhg, all my ex-girlfriends look just like you – I’m a
sucker for your look.
 

My Sets Go Great, But I Rarely Pull

(Part 2 – Logistical Screening):
Screening for logistics is fucking vital. If the girl is staying 50 miles away in
a room with 10 of her closest female friends, it’s probably not happening
tonight. However, if she’s here alone after breaking up with her boyfriend
last week and is staying at a hotel across the street, it’s worth investing
your time. Good questions to ask:

»» Who are you here with?

»» How do you know each other?

»» Where are you from? Where are you staying?

»» What do you have planned tomorrow/the rest of the weekend?

»» What are you celebrating tonight?

»» Are you an independent person?

»» Are your friends over-protective or do they realize you’re an adult?

Obviously do not ask all these questions at once, or in a way that comes
off as needy. They should be a natural part of the conversation. You should
be contributing back and even oversharing to begin with, then getting her
to reciprocate.
It is not enough to simply ask these questions. You need to be actively
leaving sets where the logistics and other factors are not ideal. Many guys
ask these types of questions, but do nothing with them. Practice asking
these questions and getting an implicit feel for her within the first 5-15
minutes, then making an executive decision on whether the interaction
is worth continuing. Better to leave a girl with bad logistics in 2 minutes
instead of 20. RESPECT YOUR TIME!! IF YOU DON’T VALUE YOUR
TIME, YOU DON’T VALUE YOUR LIFE!

Planning out your own logistics:

Too many guys piss on their own feet by making their own logistics near
impossible. If you’re staying in a bunk bed a youth hostel that’s an hour
drive away, it doesn’t matter how good your game is, she’ll rarely be
coming back to your place.

Ideally your logistics should be:

»» Close to the club or bar you are going out to. Its best if your hotel or
apartment is less than a block away.

»» Your room should be clean and comfortable, with dim or colored

lighting and music playing.

»» If you have a roommate they should not be in the common areas

when you bring your girl back.

»» Your apartment should be decorated both tastefully and maturely.

»» The trip from the club to your hotel or apartment should be planned
out beforehand, and should be seamless and short.

»» Call an Uber while you’re still in the club, or have money to bribe your
way to the front of the cab line immediately (when appropriate).
You should know exactly where you are going when exiting the club all
the way to your front door. Total travel time should ideally be less then
15 minutes. Other contingencies should be thought through in advance (Is it
cold outside? Does the bouncer have a crush on her and will try to hit on her
on our way out? Does her friend have her purse, phone, or coat check tag?)

Have all of this meticulously planned BEFORE you go out for the night.
Don’t be the guy constantly missing out on adventures by not thinking
ahead.

I Pull the Girls, but Keep Getting Last

Minute Resistance:
Last Minute Residence (LMR) is a failure to set expectations in advance.

Make sure you are following the advice from the Screening and Logistics
sections, that will help you pull consistently. Then additionally:

»» Open like you mean it! If you open like a pussy, you’ll be much less
likely to get any pussy.

»» Let her know early on that you’re sexually interested in her. If

she isn’t into you, you’d rather know this in 2-3 minutes, that 20-
30 minutes. If she has a legitimate boyfriend/husband, she will
let you know early. Note: If she doesn’t walk away, she might still
be interested in sex with you, but want’s you to know it has to be
discrete because of her existing relationship.

»» Be physical from the beginning. Make it normal that you are touching
her. If you wait too long to initiate physicality, it feels like more of a
big deal to both of you when you do.
 »» Lead her around the club so she has fun in several different contexts
with you (not just standing in one place). When she has met your
friends and thinks there’re cool, you have met her friends and have
been cool around them, you’ve had a couple drinks together, you’ve
danced to a couple songs together, now she feels like you are the
source of her good emotions. This happens because the environment
keeps changing, but you are the constant variable always there.

»» Kiss the girl twice in the club. Don’t do long makeouts even if she
wants to. It gives her too much validation and she is less likely to be
chasing you to your bedroom. Just establish intimacy, so it’s clear
what the natural progression will be if you spend time alone later.

»» Let her know about your logistics: How close your place is, show her
pictures of you home/apartment/bedroom, so she has a context for
where she might be going tonight. Obviously, do this in the context
of showing you and some friends in your place, or maybe a picture of
your pet laying on your bed.

»» Seed the pull early. Tell her about something you want to show her
later (a pet, some specialty drink you like to make at home, some food
you want to share with her at your place after the club, your view,
etc.).

»» -Treat her like you would if you were already dating for 6 months. Be
calm, assertive, lead, escalate, close.

Remember, sex is a natural thing that happens when a man and woman like
each other and spend time together. Thant’s why your parents fucked and
you’re alive right now. I am just helping you to accelerate a natural process
and do it more consistently, by showing the girl a great time and being a
good leader. If you act like a bitch she will treat you like one. If you help her
have tremendous fun and lead her well, sex will be the natural outcome.
If she says she’ll go with you but isn’t having sex with you tonight, as her
why she’s always thinking about sex. Tell her, if she comes, you’re definitely
going to make out some more and slap her booty like a drum, but you can
have sex anytime you want, so it’s no big deal.

Tell her: “it will be fun, it will, be safe, it will be an adventure! If she’s not
100% comfortable, she can leave anytime she wants.” Offer to get her a
Uber/taxi home later or in the morning.

The time to solve LMR is before the pull, not when you’ve already SIMPed
out and are trying to fix it at the end. That would be a different section
and it would be titled: “I’m a cunt and botched the pull, what do I do now
Derek??”

I need help winging/My wing needs

help winging:
Pick up is best played as a team sport. Although every advanced guy has
a few great stories of feats he pulled off solo, the majority of your most
successful interactions will be done with a trusted wing. A potential wing
does not have to be perfect. He doesn’t even have to have stellar game.
However, he should approach consistently, be positive, be a team player
(be willing to help you out on sets even if there’s nothing in it for him), and
be willing to troubleshoot and have honest conversations on how to get
better.

When you’ve found a person (or a few people) with these qualities, here
are the guidelines that will make your nights much smoother:
1. Never contradict your wing. This is the golden rule of wingmanship. If
your wing introduces you as a serial killer who specializes in disabled
orphans, you go with it. You and your wing have a united front not
matter what. Always and forever.

2. Whoever approaches the set gets to choose which girl is his, and his
wing has to respect that. If it’s unclear which girl he likes, come up
with a signal to make it obvious.

3. Helping your wing get laid by occupying the unattractive girl or male
friend is a part of wingmanship, and will result in BOTH of you getting
more girls in the long-run. This should be a reciprocal favor done in
a 1:1 ratio between the two of you. If your buddy winged for you last
night, you wing for him tonight. Ideally you find two girls that you
both like, but the chaotic nature of the game makes that uncertain.

4. You should talk your wing up both if he is coming into your set, or if
you are going into his set. This is something most guys over do, and
so it has to be somewhat subtle. Don’t go on some rant about how
successful he is, girls can see right through this. In practice, these
intros can range from just simply listening intently and nodding
while he talks, to asking him what drink you can get him, to casually
mentioning one high value attribute of his. At the very most the intro
can be two direct sentences to the girl containing things you like
about him. But the majority of the value you give him will simply come
from deferring to him as the leader of the interaction.
5. The guy who originally approached the set should be calling the shots
about how to lead and how to handle logistics. The second guy should
then be making sure the set runs smoothly while he leads and makes
decisions regarding the pull. Both of you should have logistics well
planned out before the night begins so the pull is not chaotic.
6. Never talk over each other or try to one up each other. Each guy
individually raising his value raises the value of both of you. Both of
you simultaneously trying to show you are the highest value lowers
both of your values. Give the other guy room to speak. Laugh at his
jokes instead of one upping him. How well he does will in the end be
how well you do.

7. There will be certain times when it becomes obvious that you are
going to do better with his girl, and he’s going to do better with your
girl, or that his girl is more your type and vise-versa. There should
be specific look or signal you give each other when this happens,
followed by both of you immediately switching places and talking to
the other girl.

8. Feedback and troubleshooting is a very important part of the

process. You and your wing should have a set time where you not
only give each other feedback on their wingmanship, but also on their
game in general. This should be done in a positive and constructive
way. Feedback and troubleshooting should always be done outside of
the club after the night out, not before or during. While you are in the
club, your only job is to increase your wings state and make him feel
like a champ.

9. For much deeper detail on this topic, find my wingmanship interview

on YouTube.
10. If your wing doesn’t play by these rules, discard him like the piece
of shit he is, then get another one. The absolute best places to find
highly qualified wings are: