Know yourself and focus on contribution – a reflection on

Drucker’s “Managing Oneself”

By Khuyen Bui
Introduction
Every day I fight a battle: the Ideal Self tells me to read a good book, soak up all the wisdom
and reflect on it, while the Actual Self jumps from tab to tab on my web browser, skims
through all those self-help articles like “How to procrastinate less” to “The one technique
for better mental focus” pretending I am actually being productive even during the time I’m
wasting. The Actual Self is the expert in telling excuses such as “I need the Internet to do
research for my work!" and the Ideal Self is the little voice that asks “Do you really need it, or
are you simply avoiding the difficult work?” Peter Drucker says managing oneself is tough;
how about managing two selves in an era of information overload and instant distraction
like now?
When was the last time we read something several pages long on our devices without
getting distracted? Much has been said about the peril of multi-tasking: we think we “save”
time in doing so, but research has shown that it takes us about 20 minutes to come back to
our train of thought when we tackle a mentally demanding task. We know that quality
work can only be achieved with focus, but how can we focus when our already limited
attention is constantly interrupted by notifications from our devices?
In this age of information abundance, we have to aggressively filter our media consumption
or we will end up with the mental equivalent of diabetes with our fast information diet. The
danger goes beyond just sapping our ability to focus. This culture of instant access to
information and the easy answer mindset can make us impatient. As a result, we miss out
the chance to develop our tolerance to uncertainty and our capacity to pursue hard work.
Perhaps most importantly, we don’t take the time to unplug to reflect on our own
strengths, values and purpose, all of which are the crucial ingredients to our characters and
fulfillment. In being constantly connected, we lose touch with ourselves.
FOMO
Fear of Missing Out, a common fear among the millennials, is magnified by the hyper-
connection of this age. A friend commented on an application in my web browser that hides
away all my Facebook feeds: "I hate wasting time on Facebook, but I am afraid I am missing
out on news and updates from my friends". But hasn't the world always been buzzing with
changes whether we know them or not? Aren’t we always missing out on something?
Why does that fear seem so prevalent today? To answer that question, consider a young
person growing up a few decades ago: he would go through the traditional schooling
system, acquire certain technical skills, and become a professional. Life and career options
were fewer and often more structured. As such, he had time and space to grow without
getting too overwhelmed. In contrast, a young person today is presented with so many
options that it becomes paralyzing. These options are not only about what we can eat, buy,
or play but also about more significant matters like what career path we want to pursue
and how we want to live our lives. On the plus side, being aware of more possibilities may
explain why young people nowadays have higher expectations of ourselves and the work
we do - how can we imagine selling our souls and our creative energy to become a cog in a
machine? We look at a job beyond as a means to an end. We want to do work that matter.
However, when that awareness is not grounded in reality, FOMO can become a serious
issue. As part of human nature we want to appear good and thus we don't talk about our
failures as often as our successes. Oftentimes only the good stories make it to the headlines,
and the digital age only magnifies this phenomenon. The Internet is fraught with successful
stories of startup founders who become millionaires overnight, or lifestyle designers who
work from home or anywhere in the world at whatever time they want. As a result, we
have an overly rosy view of the world with the other sides of these stories often untold –
the failures, pains, and sacrifices. We fear missing out because we only see the “good” parts.
Drucker articulated this problem in his essay "in a knowledge society, however, we expect
everyone to be a success. This is clearly an impossibility. For a great many people, there is at
best an absence of failure. Wherever there is success, there has to be failure." The danger of
such skewed expectation, especially in an individualistic society that glorifies personal
success, is that its counterpart - failure - may also be taken too personally. It then becomes
a crippling shame instead of an empowering lesson.
The people I find "larger than life" are those who think big but act small. They are those
who practice what Drucker says about managing oneself: work hard to improve on one's
strengths and remedy bad habits that hinder one's potential. They understand that Success
is a journey where they aim for smaller successes one after another, and not forget learning
from every step along the way.
Understanding oneself
Perhaps the most important insight of Drucker's Managing Oneself, and in general his
human-centered principles of management, is that one can and should invest in his
personal development. Hard work and worthy challenges will stimulate one's growth, and
frequent reflection through structured feedback analysis will ensure one does indeed
develop in a productive direction for himself. Moreover, such reflection will also clarify
one's values, which "are and should be the ultimate test" according to Drucker.
How can one start this process of understanding oneself? To me, journaling is a helpful tool
for reflection. Thoughts in our heads are unclear until we pin them down into words. Some
people prefer the familiarity of pen and paper; others may prefer typing on a computer.
Stick with anything you choose for a while first. Since I committed to a regular time for a
conversation with myself, I began to see myself much clearer: my strengths, weaknesses,
habits, and values. I can step back and see myself overthinking, worrying, and panicking.
Through this act of reflection, assumptions and judgments are surfaced and then
systematically examined. Insights about myself and clarity about what to do next then
come more naturally. "Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection
will come even more effective action." as Drucker advises us.
The most challenging and also strangest part of the journaling exercise is that it is hard to
be honest with oneself. I once read somewhere this quote "There are two reasons we do
anything: the one we tell other people and the real one". Surprisingly, even though no one
else will ever read my journal it is still hard to write out every thought or feeling I have. The
process of coming to terms with oneself is slow and frustrating. It may even be frightening
for some, but it is always rewarding. It is like taking a cold shower: at first, we are scared,
but after the first shock we gradually adapt to the temperature and once we are done we
feel amazing. With time and experience I became less judgmental and more understanding
of myself. Being clear of my strengths and values gives me a sense of direction from which
choices become easy. I learn to accept that I cannot do everything well, and I know what I
choose to do is most important for me. With that comes a tremendous peace of mind; the
fear of missing out and its close friend, regret, then slowly dissolve.
In my ongoing journey to understand myself better, I have gradually come to accept a
paradox: I am enough, and I can be more. There is a fine difference between being critical of
oneself and being judgmental. The latter is capitalizing on one's weaknesses; the former is
focusing on the strengths and asking "What have I done well, and how can I stretch myself to
do even better?" This shift in mindset is easier said than done because it involves letting go
of a deep seated belief many of us have in perfectionism, which ironically is the very factor
that limits our growth. It is far more productive to start something and evaluate over time
rather than overanalysing about the best choice one can make, as Drucker assures us about
decision-making: "there are at best only "mostly right" and "almost wrong"”.
Contribute to learn. Learn to contribute.
The word "management" may have a bad rap. It is often associated with the idea of
business management, which for many people conjure the image of heartless profit-driven
corporations or micromanaging bosses. The concept of managing oneself as proposed by
Peter Drucker goes much deeper than that: it is in essence the act of self-leadership, of
continually refining one's vision, seeing the current reality more clearly and taking effective
actions to move one in that direction. It implies a need for continuous learning.
My favorite phrase from Managing Oneself is "focus on contribution". In general, students in
schools do not ask themselves about their own contribution often enough. Some students
adopt the mindset that they are in school to "take" rather than give because they pay for
the educational service that the institutions deliver. It is the transactional way to view this
relationship that often results in unrealistic expectations and lack of engagement from the
student side.
What if students can shift their mindset from taking to giving by asking themselves a
different set of questions: What am I contributing to the class? To the school? How can I
make use of my strengths to make our school be a better place? Each student is a part that
forms the whole environment of the educational institution, and we can take responsibility
for our contribution. Why should students care? Focusing on contribution instead of on
effort is empowering because forces one to think through the goals and results he needs to
deliver to make a difference. Consequently he has to identify what specific skills he need to
learn and set himself certain standards that will stretch him to develop further. "People in
general, and knowledge workers in particular, grow according to the demands they make
on themselves", as Drucker observed.
Even more important than the skills one can ever learn in the limited formal years of
education, this mindset will prepare young people for a productive life in our fast changing
world for a simple fact: the knowledge workers cannot stop learning. “Knowledge has to be
improved, challenged and increased constantly, or it vanishes”, to quote Drucker. He knows
that successful careers are not planned but are the results of those who are prepared for
the opportunities. These people understand the virtuous cycle where one takes up an
opportunity, utilizes his strengths to deliver stellar results, which leads to even more
interesting opportunities to develop. That cycle happens when one gets into the habit of
asking and acting on these questions: What does the situation require? What can I with my
strengths can offer? What results have to be achieved to make a difference?
For those who are still in school, there is a need to move beyond the identity from a student
to that of a lifelong learner. One reason is that the world is changing so fast that one has to
continually upgrade his own knowledge and skills in order to remain relevant, let alone
valuable. One can view the world that way through the lenses of the survival of the fittest: if
I am not doing anything valuable, someone else or a machine will replace my role soon.
Drucker points out this challenge: “Knowledge workers will have to learn to stay young and
mentally alive during a fifty-year working life. They will have to learn how and when to
change what they do, how they do it and when they do it".
But in more developed countries we are no longer living to survive. The commitment to
learning thus reflects a fundamental understanding of who we are: a constantly evolving
species with a deep-seated need to understand the world around us. Learning is how we
thrive as individual, and learning best takes place when we can apply what we are learning
on something relevant to us. Focusing on contribution makes us think through the context
and thus encourages further learning because we know the purpose of what we are
learning for.
Moreover, because we all live in society, we need to feel that we matter. By focusing on
contribution, we can discover areas that offer us opportunities "for being a leader, for being
respected, for being a success". By thinking about the second half of our life right now, an
idea that may seem silly for a young person like me who has not even figured out the first
half yet, we are forced to reflect critically on this question: What will still matter 20-30
years from now? It is an antidote to the short-term, quick-fix culture that maybe
occasionally useful but more often avoids the real underlying issue and ends up creating
more problems. The more time we spend thinking about it, the more we can start
developing skills that truly matter to a global knowledge society.
Contribution to relationships
Focusing on contribution is also an important mindset when it comes to managing and
developing relationships. First, thinking in terms of contribution instead of blame
empowers us to take action when miscommunication happens. Most of us have
experienced the frustration when the person we are communicating with simply "does not
get it", whether she is our boss, subordinate, colleague or friend. Yet, that frustration
mostly occurs because of two assumptions: first, we know ourselves enough to express
ourselves well and second, other people are supposed to understand us. Both can be
mistaken. We know from Drucker that communication is first and foremost perception,
which is influenced by one's background, intention and emotion. Thus, focusing on
contribution in communication means to move past that assumption, to take responsibility
to understand the other person first. We then have to start by learning to listen critically
not only for the words but also for what is not being said, a skill not emphasized enough in
the large part of the American culture, with its idealized image of the charismatic, eloquent
and know-it-all leaders. It requires certain humility and courage to acknowledge and
inquire into where we do not understand, but it is the only way we can hope to
communicate.
Second, focusing on contribution shifts our focus from the individuals to the whole because
we have to ask "How are we helping each other and therefore contributing to our
relationship?" Thinking through and acting upon that question creates rapport because it
reframes the distinction between "I" and "you" to "us". It therefore allows for effective
communication and teamwork, both of which are becoming increasingly more and more
important as the nature of work in our world has become more collaborative.
The phrase "focus on contribution" has become a personal mantra that reminds me of my
intention whenever I interact with another person: "What can we learn from each other
from this shared experience? Do we leave being any smarter, wiser and kinder?" It also
helps me make better decision to spend time on what matters, avoiding the unnecessary
gossiping or complaining sessions so prevalent in both online and offline discourse. Even
those most of us know that the most meaningful and rewarding use of our time is when we
share, learn and develop with others, we do not do it enough. Thinking about contribution
emboldens us to share authentic experiences, the foundation for any long-lasting and
meaningful human connection.
What does having this grand vision of ourselves mean in our day to day life? It is simple but
not simplistic. One does not have to do big, life-changing and saving-the-world projects to
make an impact and feel a sense of purpose. It is quite the contrary: it is the day to day
consistent practice of contributing to everyone and everything we interact with that will
add up. "Effective leadership is not based on being clever; it is based primarily on being
consistent.”, to quote Drucker. The realist and the idealist can and should co-exist within
oneself, because it is precisely that tension between what is and what could be that keeps
propelling us forward in the journey of becoming more for ourselves and for the world.