The

Miracle
Boy
Olatunji Joan Olufolake

Olatunji Ayodele Oluwaseyi

1
 © Copyright 2013

Olatunji Ayodele Oluwaseyi

ISBN-13: 978-1492878582

ISBN-10:1492878588

2
 Unauthorized storage or production of this
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Hell, Birth In A Boat

3
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4
 TABLE OF CONTENTS

Foreword

1. How It All Began

2. Fight Against Idolatry
3. Village Life
4. His Mother’s Agony
5. His Academic Pursuit
6. His Father’s Death
7. Widowhood of His Mother
8. His Academic Pursuit
9. His Journey After Graduation
10. How He Became a Pilot
11. The Flying Profession
12. Hallmarks of Achievements
13. Parting Word

5
 FOREWORD

I witnessed the story told in this book. It

defies the challenges native to Africa. It is

straightforward, practical and inspiring. It spells

out what God expects of parents.

J.O. Olatunji in a step-by-step account of

her experience in raising Oluwaseyi implies that

everyone can make it in life. As of the time of

this writing, Oluwaseyi was the youngest

Nigerian citizen piloting the Sikorsky S92. The

S92 is a sophisticated and versatile rotorcraft.

6
 Oluwaseyi grew up in a village in Oye

Local Government Area, Ekiti State, Nigeria.

The village set children up to become crude

farmers and makeshift hunters. How

Oluwaseyi became a Pilot barely four years

after living the village is endearing.

Following his initial qualification,

Oluwaseyi was type-rated on the Sikorsky S76.

He flew the S76 for two years over the Atlantic

in the Gulf of Guinea, where adverse weather

conditions often make flying very challenging.

Two years after his S76 type-rating he qualified

7
to fly the Sikorsky S92, an aircraft in the heavy

category.

This account of how J.O. Olatunji

overcame the challenges of parenting is a must-

read. She fought the culture of idolatry in the

village, fought Oluwaseyi’s apathy towards

learning and was widowed early in her

marriage. Against the odds she finished with a

seasoned pilot. It was no mean feat!

This book will enlighten you on how to

achieve noble objectives against all odds. It is

honest, unabridged; a forthright diary of

mother and son that will supply questioning

8
Africans and African-Americans with the right

answers.

As evinced by Oluwaseyi's life, education

opens doors of opportunities. J.O. Olatunji

created the interest in coherent reading, writing

and thinking in Oluwaseyi; whose

accomplishments are exceptions to the

poignant pattern to which the lives of many

African and African-American children

conform.

This story is an embodiment of J.O.

Olatunji's resolve that her children must be

accomplished, an example for parents to

9
emulate. She achieved what many rich parents

find prohibitive to achieve in the lives of their

children, single-handedly! There is enough for

everyone – parents, undergraduates, job

seekers, spinsters and bachelors, schoolboys

and girls – to learn from the pages of this

book.

The S92 is valued at over twenty-three

million US Dollars, depending on where it is

operated in the world. No one will buy one of

those, put souls for which he is liable in it and

hire someone below average to pilot it!

10
 J. O. Olatunji produced a nurse too. She

is sought after in the federal hospital where she

works. The erstwhile village boy and his sibling,

raised under stringent circumstances, are

engaged in arguably the most delicate jobs,

rendering essential services to humanity! The

odds on the African soil did not deter them.

This makes me believe every noble objective of

the human heart is attainable!

As you shall find, it would be forgivable

for Oluwaseyi to be a peasant farmer or

makeshift hunter in rural areas, or a hawker on

the streets of Lagos. Oluwaseyi being a Pilot is

11
thought-provoking exploit. He upset identical

situations to what deprived African and

African-American children are faced with. This

story portrays the heroic attitude of a valiant

African widow and that of her daring son.

Even though she confessed her worst

apprehensions candidly in the pages of this

book, J. O. Olatunji is a fearless heroine.

J. O. Olatunji excelled in the intricate and

thankless tasks of motherhood. She faced the

most difficult season of her life alone. She

shouldered the burdens that had overwhelmed

her and her husband. In addition to that she

12
inherited the debts that resulted from her

husband's hospital bills. The creditors did not

forgive her. She paid the last penny and was

broke. She was up against the hands of time in

funding the education of her two surviving

children. Wondering what she did differently in

these most unlikely of circumstances? Herein is

every detail of the gripping story you need to

know!

As you explore this book, you will find

answers to common questions about parenting.

A valley is not the best of places. That is what

J. O. Olatunji and her surviving children went

13
through. Theirs was a very tough luck! Out of

the ashes of the smoldering, she pulled a pilot

and a nurse.

Unequivocal in the call to be steadfast;

modest; laced with the authors' reserved sense

of humor; wrapped up in a thankful,

valedictory and content manner; The Miracle

Boy is buzzing with what religious and ethical

readers look for in every book! At seventy-one,

every moment is precious to J. O. Olatunji as

she ponders the stretched out and dreary

journey of her life! As you embark on this

excursion through what she fittingly describes

14
as the tidal front herself and her children sailed

through, pay attention to the decisions that

tilted the balance in her favour.

Dr. Dare Olaiya (MD), Gynecologist.

15
 1
HOW IT ALL

BEGAN

16
 CHALLENGES IN THE EARLY DAYS

OF MARRIAGE

Welcome from the desk of the eloquent

Gynecologist. I am J. O. Olatunji, mother of

the miracle boy. This is the account of what

happened in my live and that of my son,

Oluwaseyi.

I lost my father at a tender age. The

family was poor, my mother worked hard to

feed, clothe and shelter us. The time came for

my patience and other virtues to be tested.

In Africa, the rules of engagement and

marriage are different to what apply in other

17
continents of the world. Our cultural values

give rise to dynamic situations every wife must

handle carefully for stability’s sake. In a brief

counsel my mother alluded to cardinal virtues

expected of every African woman, citing

examples of failed marriages in the

neighborhood.

When the time came for her to thrust me

to my husband, my mother did not say much.

“Good luck to you my daughter. Come what

may, the decision you are making today is

binding. One thing: remember the daughter of

18
whom you are!” was all she said. A whole new

chapter of my life began.

I did not conceive immediately after

marriage. It was an anxious moment for me

and my husband. We visited hospitals seeking

clinical explanations for my inability to

conceive.

Doctors found no reasons why I could

not conceive. I waited anxiously! I prayed, but

years passed! As the years rolled by my

husband's affection began to wander. He was

under pressure from various quarters.

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 One day we were traveling to the village

to visit in-laws. At the intersection to my native

town, my husband told me to get down from

the car and continue to my father's house. I

remembered what my mother told me, that my

decision to marry was binding come what may.

I pulled the handbrake from the front

passenger seat, locking the wheels; bringing the

vehicle to an abrupt, jolting stop. I looked at

my husband straight in the eye for the first time

in as long as I could remember. I pointed my

finger at him in the face. I yelled, “I have

nowhere else to go. I will go with you come

20
what may. You have become my husband and

father. Remember your v-o-w-s.”

My husband calmed down at my

outburst. Emotions ran deep in the car. Both

of us were muted until we got to the village.

That night we stayed up late. Up until mid-

night we were in very serious discussion. My

husband admitted he was wrong to have acted

the way he did. I realized the way I yelled at

him was inappropriate of a wife too. We were

sober. We appealed one to another.

We were not so experienced; our

marriage had lasted only about half a decade.

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But enough time had elapsed for a fertile

woman to be carrying her third pregnancy. The

delay was heightening tensions. Yet, it was only

the beginning of a season of life that would be

characterized by sorrow and joy in unequal

proportions.

For now, my worst fear was what would

become of me if I did not conceive. Divorce

was not an option. Polygamy was as much a

dreadful thing to me. But, no typical African

man wanted to be the husband of a barren

woman in the days of old! I could not be

barren and expect to stay happily married.

22
 My husband was anxious but cautious.

Reports of my clinical examinations were a

gauge for his actions. He was careful how he

treated me. It was impossible for him to move

the hands of time in reverse, and too soon to

contemplate a second wife. He kept faith with

me. All eyes were on me as we both waited

anxiously!

After years of waiting I conceived. I went

into labour and I put to bed prematurely. My

husband went to my mother with the news,

“She does have a baby – a premature birth!”

He said. My mother was on the verge of tears.

23
Desperately she fought it back, lifting her

hands and praising her Maker that she had not

been shamed.

My interpretation of “a premature birth”

was half bread; which for me was far better

than none. The feelings were not the most

desirable to be candid. Agreed! I accepted my

child, determined to nurse her to health. She

spent the first few weeks of her life in the

incubator.

OLUWASEYI'S BIRTH AND THE

MOVE DOWN TO THE VILLAGE

24
 Soon I conceived again. 1980, University

College Hospital, Ibadan, Oyo State, Nigeria, I

was placed on bed rest as a precaution against

premature birth. I started to feel very

uncomfortable. The feelings were not new to

me this time. It was that of labour pains

attended with strong contractions.

I called the attention of the medical team.

I told the young doctor on duty to send for the

consultant, that I could feel I was in labour. He

debunked me and made light of my complaints,

claiming I was drawing attention to myself

unnecessarily. In no time the baby was on the

25
way. It took the intervention of the consultant

who arrived my bedside just in time to prevent

the baby from hitting the ground.

The arrival of another addition to the

family was a thing of joy. My mother came to

see us, brimming with confidence this time

around. It was a male child too; the sex African

men pride themselves on! Ecstatic, my husband

named him Oluwaseyi.

My husband and I were civil servants.

Shortly before Oluwaseyi arrived unrest broke

out in the part of the country we were living in.

The ethno religious unrest nearly claimed the

26
entire family. My husband vowed he would not

put his family in the uncertainty of living in an

area he described as “a ticking time bomb.” He

sought redeployment and I found myself in a

rural community with the children.

There was wisdom in seeking

redeployment from the axis of evil. But the

choice of the village with the children at such

tender ages jolted me.

The move down to the village was swiftly

carried out as conceived by my husband. He

started the construction of a mud house,

roofed and plastered it in no time and we

27
moved in before I fully comprehended the

intention.

The extended family members called the

house “Ile Titun”, meaning new building. But,

to me, it was a glorified version of the mud

houses in the village. The only difference being

that it was plastered and most of the others

were not. The bathroom and pit latrine were

detached from the building. There was no

piping for water to run. The pit latrine could

not have been attached to the building by any

means though. The stench from pit latrines is

uncontrollable. Every time one needed to wash

28
or go to toilet one must carry a jar of water and

take a stroll. That was not too comfortable for

me because I was nursing.

Termites constitute the greatest threat to

mud houses and they descended on ours at a

very odd time. The adventures of my life began

in earnest!

I WAS STUNNED!

I wanted Oluwaseyi to grow up strong,

intelligent and become a rich and wealthy adult.

However, the family head had relocated the

family to a village. A remote one for that

29
matter! Raising Oluwaseyi in a rural community

was cause for major concerns for me.

My husband’s decision to seek

redeployment was stirred by the violence in the

northern parts of the country where we lived

and worked as civil servants. I felt the choice of

the village of his nativity was illogical despite

the sense of urgency.

What I wanted for Oluwaseyi was an

environment that would foster his learning

process. One in which he would learn

everything without knowing he was learning,

where he would pass little by little from the

30
unconscious to the conscious, treading always

in the paths of delight and ecstasy, radiance and

distinction. The village did not avail any child

such opportunity.

I was stunned by my findings soon after

settling in the village!

THE DISMAL STATE OF THE

VILLAGE

The quality of life in the village is the

poorest I have witnessed to this day.

Everything was uncivilized and old-fashioned.

The houses in the village were molded from

31
clay by unskilled laborers with no cement

added. The walls were irregular and the floors

uneven. No thorough plastering, nor were any

other forms of finishing applied. Roofs were

strengthened with unprocessed logs obtained

directly from the rain forest, the tops covered

with hay.

Cold forced people to light improvised

lamps, setting houses alight time and again.

Rooms were painted with compost that

included the droppings of sheep and goats! My

husband’s mother prepared the mixture and

32
applied it to the walls of our building. It reeked

and the natives commended it.

The village, located in Oye Local

Government Area of Ekiti State, Nigeria, was

electrified only in 2008. As of the time

Oluwaseyi was growing up the village lacked

every facility one can think of. There were no

tarred roads, there was no electricity; no pipe

borne water; no sporting facilities and the

health center was poorly equipped.

There were two orthodox churches in the

village at the time. There was a primary school

and a secondary school jointly owned by the

33
village and a nearby village, both schools not

equipped at all. The poorly equipped health

centre, the two churches and schools were all

the village could boast. Pupils in the schools

could hardly write their names.

I was the English Language teacher in the

secondary school at some point in my teaching

career. I had graduating students who could

not complete their final examination

application forms by themselves every year.

These same students indulged in decayed moral

lifestyles, laxities that ruined them. Female

students were very fashionable and seductive in

34
their appearances despite having very little

ability to comprehend. The male counterparts

had only one thing on their minds, sex!

Adolescents in the village were keeping

up with the trends in fashion, but were wanting

in their preparedness for the future. The

adolescents were so wrongly inclined. This was

shocking, giving the rural state of the

community. This situation posed major

concerns for me as a mother. My fears for

Oluwaseyi began to loom.

The task of raising Oluwaseyi to become

what I wanted him to be was daunting. My

35
husband had the ambition to see his children

surpass his academic achievements too. But it

was impossible for me to think of how he

would realize that following his decision to

relocate the family to the village, which was not

exactly the same as when he was growing up. A

lot of changes had taken place. One notable

change was the decay in moral values.

The natural instincts of children were

under vast influence of the moral decay among

adolescents in the village. Even though very

negligible infrastructural changes had taken

place in the village since my husband was a

36
child, young people were no longer reasoning

the same way. Children imbibed habits they

met in the society into which they were born.

Adolescents were soiled and shameless about

their unwholesome manners. These scared me

because I did not expect to see such in so rural

a community.

Of course, various elements as in other

places across Africa constituted the traditions

and cultures of the natives. I knew I had to

make what I stand for, Christ, known to my

neighbors; as attempts were made to force me

and the entire family to bow to idols, and to

37
dedicate my children in a strange place, a

shrine. I declined. I spoke against the sacrilege!

The battle against those who wanted

everyone to submit to idol worshiping was an

exciting one. It was however not the toughest I

faced in Oluwaseyi's upbringing.

I PERSUADED MY HUSBAND TO

RETHINK

To engage my husband who was very

well educated in drawn out arguments about

his choice of the village was to worsen the

situation for me and the children. I refrained in

38
the meantime, contemplating the situation,

what to say and how to. I tried to not offend in

words, very hard!

My husband was a noble man. He had his

strengths and weaknesses. As opinionated as he

was, he could be approached. He was

considerate, very careful, treating people the

way he wanted to be treated. He was

responsible and accountable. He placed

whatever he believed were good for the family

above all else. And, I must quickly add, he was

far from perfect. His choice of the village,

39
which impacted children's learning and slowed

them down, was testament to this.

When I decided to engage my husband I

chose my words judiciously. I persuaded him

to rethink his decision and resettle the family

elsewhere. I told him his priorities should be

ordered by the developmental needs of the

children. I hinted that we needed an

environment that would foster the children's

learning process and promote their interests in

civilized things that are noble. I spoke about

the implications of the village on the growth

40
and all-round development of the children. I

urged him to consider a city.

He responded by presenting me with

how narrowly we survived the violence in the

northern part of the country. Our immediate

neighbors who were Jihadists would have put

knives to our throats! On this basis, my

husband posited, he would spend the rest of

his life in the land of his nativity, with wife and

children.

I knew he could have chosen any of the

other cities in the country but he didn't. He

told me his mind was made up to live where he

41
was born. The situation almost precipitated

into a dispute as I pressed him a bit. I quit

persuading him to look elsewhere to settle his

family in the meantime.

Though my fears for Oluwaseyi and his

sibling remained, I expected my husband to

realize my points soon. But other reasons for

his choice of the village transpired; reasons that

changed the complexion of my marriage.

OTHER REASONS FOR DADDY'S

CHOICE OF THE VILLAGE

42
 My friends were surprised by my

husband’s choice of the village. His

contemporaries that were also affected by the

violence in northern Nigeria relocated their

families to civilized places. He was capable of

choosing an urban centre too, but he chose the

village for some other reasons.

Despite the high grade he made from the

University of Ibadan, my husband did not stop

producing food crops by crude means. He did

produce most of the food the family needed

from his own farm. Returning to the village

where he grew up was an opportunity for him

43
to satisfy his quest for growing food crops.

That was partly responsible for his choice of

the village.

My husband was delighted in hunting as

well. He acquired a shotgun made in Japan.

The duly licensed firearm, which cost him

about three thousand five hundred Naira in

1989, was quite expensive. It was the most

sophisticated weapon in the village.

Daddy was a renowned hunter in the

village. He treaded the paths of his ancestors.

He would return from the forest to tell us

remarkable stories of how clever birds and

44
mammals are. Oluwaseyi would listen with

keen interest. The boy paid so much attention

to the events that took place in the wild and

that sent a bad signal to me.

While the Jihadists made sure of our exit

from the north, I believe my husband’s longing

for home, farming and hunting all informed his

decision to move his family to the rural

community where he was born and brought

up. I soon noticed that Oluwaseyi was more

interested in growing food crops and hunting

like his father than he was in learning. My poise

to see his father realize my points steadily

45
metamorphosed to serious apprehensions. My

fears for Oluwaseyi’s future loomed even larger

on my mind.

LIKE FATHER, UNLIKE SON!

My husband was brought up in the

village, yet he graduated with second class

upper from the University of Ibadan. Perhaps,

he expected the children to do the same. He

was very sound academically. He had more

literature in his personal library than we had in

the community high school library. He had as

46
much interest in studying as he had in the other

things he delighted in.

Oluwaseyi's case was different. The boy

did not like academic works!

Except for those who knew my husband

when he was growing up, people did not

believe he was raised is such a primitive

environment where families depended entirely

on prehistoric means for survival. His academic

excellence despite having spent most of his life

in the village probably made him think

everyone could grow up and excel under the

stringent circumstances.

47
 My husband was studious despite having

been raised in the village. His interest in

learning was vast; with an obsession for reading

works of literature by Shakespeare, Soyinka and

Achebe. That was not the case with Oluwaseyi;

his legitimate son, who hated reading with a

passion! For me, his assessment of the boy in

the early days left much to be desired.

My husband was well mannered and

polished, enthusiastic, warm and friendly. His

good demeanor was easily noticed by all.

Oluwaseyi was much unlike him in these

regards also. Growing up in the rural

48
community had huge impacts on the lad’s

disposition.

That a man with such acumen as my

husband could choose a village in so dismal a

state and expect children to thrive academically

meant that every woman has key roles to play

in her home. Academic-wise, Oluwaseyi did

not compare with his father. He lacked interest

in learning, absolutely.

I immediately knew I had a difficult task

at hand, that to raise and secure Oluwaseyi for

a great future would be no easy task.

49
 At this time my husband was not

bothered, he did not realize the seriousness of

the arguments I put forward to him; which, for

me, was worrisome. He just carried on with his

life as if everything was normal. That worsened

my apprehensions.

50
 2
FIGHT

AGAINST

IDOLATRY
51
 TRADITION OF IDOLATRY AND

PROFANATION

There was the tradition of idolatry in the

village as in most places across Africa. It

emanated from the days of the founding

fathers, according to history. The newly born

was taken to Iloro shrine and dedicated on the

altar of the idols; from where indigenous

children returned to confront difficulties in my

belief.

The parents were responsible for keeping

with this tradition. As of the time Oluwaseyi

was a child, every newly born was dedicated in

52
the shrine at some point at infancy or

childhood. I considered the dedication and

initiation altogether absurd. It amazed me that

most of the villagers were observing everything

their ancestors passed on to them. Events I

had witnessed indicated that the values ascribed

to such ancestral beliefs are damaging and not

worthwhile.

The impression that was created in the

children was that the spirits of the ancestors

lived on; and that they would be aggrieved if

the children were not dedicated or initiated in

Iloro shrine. Everyone was made to see the

53
need to please the ancestral spirits. This was

unfounded, deceitful and diabolic as with

everything profane!

What the people were doing in the shrine

was serving Satan and fallen angels under the

pretence of serving the spirits of their

ancestors. Either is an abomination that

provokes God's jealousy. To most of the

children, who did not have access to western

education, the parents must be right.

Children would sit in circles and narrate

with nostalgia their experiences during the

dedication and initiation in the shrine. That

54
created a thirst for the experience in other

children who had not been to the shrine. They

would go home and press their parents to take

them to the shrine as soon as possible.

Oluwaseyi knew I would not grant such

request. But I saw the desire to witness the

initiation like other children in him.

Other than the primitive credence that

every child must be dedicated on the altar of

the idols to have a good life, the children knew

nothing. The people so strongly believed in the

primacy of the idols. The beliefs had serious

consequences as people dedicated or initiated

55
in the shrine hardly ever had good life as

purported. I found it difficult to comprehend

why so cruel a tradition appealed to the

villagers.

People would strip themselves naked and

treat one another to fierce strokes of whips;

severe beating that left them with bloody sores.

Keeping watchful eyes on Oluwaseyi and

tracking his whereabouts were obviously not

enough given the fact that all the other children

in the neighborhood thrilled to the excitements

of the shrine. Oluwaseyi was receptive to the

56
long standing tradition as were the other

children in the neighborhood.

THE ODDITY OF THE SACRILEGE

At the beginning of every year drummers

in the shrine resonated bizarre rhythms as

anthems of veneration to the idols were

rendered by women dressed in white. The

combination echoed the profanation from the

shrine throughout the village during the first

month of each year.

The elderly chief priest of the shrine

inherited a vile family name - “Esubiyi.”

57
Meaning begotten of the devil; which he

changed because it was completely

unacceptable! Debarred from footwear, he was

always in filthy white attire, a dirty, drab and

dreary skirt, and a soiled, ashy, fluffy headgear.

The assortment portrayed him as an ageless old

woman. He did serve palm wine in calabash

and break cola nuts with his guests in the

shrine. This to me was in defiance of the

communion involving the breaking of bread

and sharing of wine in remembrance of the

sacred body of Christ the sacrificed Lamb of

God. I loathed the oddity of the sacrilege.

58
 I feared the village might imprecate

God's wrath as a result of the exhibitions in the

shrine. Time and again I had to consecrate my

home to the Lord. Practices such as breaking

cola nut and serving palm wine in desecrated

places are unbecoming. The body and blood of

the Lamb of God are sacred and holy; and the

communion should not be replicated in any

form that defiles, be it knowingly or

unknowingly!

Idolatry in itself is disgust and hatred for

God; a violation of the first and great

commandment; a shaking of fist in God’s face.

59
“And you shall love the LORD your God with

all your heart, with all your soul, with all your

mind, and with all your strength.” Mark 12: 30.

See also Matthew 22: 37&38. Since there is no

other commandment greater than this, there is

no iniquity greater than the sin of idolatry.

Read also Ezekiel chapter 14.

Following the exchange of whips people

did return from the shrine with infections and

permanent damage to vital sense organs, such

as ears, eyes and so on; which, bizarrely, they

were proud of. I vowed to not give my son up

for such insane sacraments. I did not make

60
Oluwaseyi available for initiation in the shrine.

I was adamant to calls that the idols would take

any child not presented before them

prematurely.

Sixteen idols set up in various places

across the village were associated with the

shrine. Even among the high school students

the idols were the objects of discussions. There

were beliefs that the “male carved images”

(gods) married the “female carved images”

(goddesses) and had children. All sixteen idols

were symbolic of what the lives of many of the

indigenous children initiated in the shrine

61
conformed to. As the carved images rot and

were devoured by termites; so were the people

trying to rise but coming to futility in their

efforts.

In that particular shrine, where people

poured libations on altars and offered sacrifices

to the idols, virtues were traded-off. The

people lost important things directly to the

unforgiving hands of the enemy. The initiation

vested authority over people's lives in the dark

powers that established the shrine. It was said

that a high devil entered the ground upon

which the shrine was founded a long time ago.

62
 A DIFFERENT KIND OF WOMAN

Oluwaseyi strayed into the shrine during

several of his hunting adventures. Like other

children he was so curious that he ventured

into desecrated grounds. I prayed hard because

it was practically impossible for me to follow

him everywhere. He did stray to the shrine, but

I never led him there!

I was branded “a different kind of

woman” in the neighborhood because I was

adamant to accompany Oluwaseyi for the

initiation like other parents accompanied their

63
children. In the parent’s absence the rites were

considered unacceptable. I would not make my

children available on the altar of the hard-

nosed and irreverent idols for such rituals. That

would amount to undoing my children with my

own hands.

I was not under the misapprehension that

the idols would kill the children withheld from

the shrine. The idols and the altars were a

sacrilege that desecrated the villagers, youths

and children especially. The shrine was heavily

pregnant with evils for those presented and

dedicated to the gods thereof. It was difficult

64
to stand alone in the situation I found myself

in. I violated the custom and that displeased a

lot of natives. They pressed me to make the

boy available for the initiation but I never

shifted ground.

For several years I was praying and

hoping that God would break the backbone of

idolatry in the village. In what seemed to be

direct answer to my prayers several Evangelical

Ministries visited the village, targeted the shrine

and decreed the end to its existence. The chief

priest of the shrine did not last afterwards. He

65
died a strange kind of death – of unnatural

causes, I believe.

As of his death the chief priest was no

more than a skeletal frame covered with skin.

He was pale, his appearance entirely washed

out. The ailment got the better of him. An

Evangelist who visited him on his sickbed

ministered salvation to him and prayed that the

end would come to the existence of the shrine.

Prior to this time a Reverend had predicted he

would die soon!

I hosted several Evangelists on

assignment to the village. I treasured the

66
privilege to honor them with my food and

drinks. My Volkswagen Beetle came in handy

at meeting their transportation needs. To show

a bit of hospitality to God's people was to me

the opportunity of a lifetime. These acts

distinguished me and I fancied the designation,

“a different kind of woman.”

END OF THE SHRINE AND THE

IDOLS

The priest died and was buried without

the rites performed for his predecessor. His

children abandoned the shrine and embrace the

67
Gospel. I sighed, knowing the end would surely

come to all the beliefs that deprived the

villagers of liberty.

Despite the large number of people of

various age groups being initiated year in year

out in the shrine, there was no one willing to

succeed the chief priest. No one was willing to

inherit the burden of not able to go outside the

village during daylight hours. It was a taboo for

the chief priest to witness daylight in another

village or town. All his journeys away from

home were embarked on at night and he must

return to the village the same night. He was

68
sold out to darkness his entire life. Most

importantly, the horrible sickness that struck

and ended his reign proved that the sacrilege

and profanation carried out in the shrine were

significant, with consequences.

Everyone who could have succeeded the

chief priest was afraid of being struck by the

kind of infirmity that ended his reign. Not even

one of the people from his immediate family

volunteered to. That left Iloro shrine without a

chief priest! What remained of the shrine and

idols afterwards was history.

69
 An extended family member of the

deceased chief priest stole and sold most of the

idols and drums in the village in very dramatic

circumstance. The raid that was carried out at

midnight was the first coordinated attack by

“outsiders” on the village. The remnants of the

idols were destroyed by the corroding teeth of

time. Ultimately the shrine went up in flames

during a dry season in the early years of the

twenty first century.

The Evangelical Ministries left their

footprint in the village. I witnessed the end of

Iloro shrine and the profanation that took place

70
within it. Regrettably, the damage had been

done in many lives!

CONCERNS REMAINED!

The events I witnessed lately brought

some level of relief. But my feelings were not

entirely of delight. Even though I absolutely

refused to present my children for the

initiations in the shrine, Oluwaseyi had roamed

carelessly to the shrine. How did I know?

Whenever he was nowhere to be found in the

house I would raise my voice and call out, O-

lu-wa-se-yiiiii!!!!! Whenever he was in the shrine

71
he did not answer me, though he always heard

the calls – the shrine was that close to where

we lived! He would run in the direction of the

house, and then answer, “Ma-aaa-aa!” It

became clear the boy must have been to the

shrine time and again.

I pondered some difficult questions. All

did not go well with everyone initiated in the

shrine; those who witnessed the Iloro and Imore

festivals every year were stringently poor.

During Imore festival the new yam was

dedicated to farm tools (cutlasses and hoes)

and children carried baskets of flames, dancing

72
around the village with the priests all night. Of

course, the desecrated soil upon which the

shrine was founded cried of evil against those

who walked upon it.

Oddly enough, there was another scourge

that stretched wall to wall in the village. It was

that of illiteracy. It was absolute, defiant and

widespread in the village; crippling the decrees

and freedom brought by the Evangelists whose

prayers heralded the abandonment of the

shrine and cessation of profanation perpetrated

therein. Illiteracy had been in the village all the

while but it was not seen as a problem of the

73
magnitude of idolatry by the visiting

Evangelists.

The scale of the challenge posed by

illiteracy became evident when it barred the

progress that should begin in the village

following the non-existence of the shrine and

the idols. Illiteracy engendered my toughest

battle in raising Oluwaseyi. I know several

women are faced with similar challenge in

raising their children. May no one experience

such more than once in a lifetime, I pray!

74
 3
VILLAGE

LIFE

75
 MAKESHIFT HUNTING

ADVENTURES

Oluwaseyi was growing up in an

environment where he had the opportunity to

compete with other children; but not in any of

the areas that would put his skills or intelligent

quotient (IQ) to test the way I wanted. He had

the opportunity to prove to other children he

was the most skilful at catching rabbits in the

fields.

His interest was a departure from the

decay in moral standards that blighted other

children and adolescent in the village. He

76
hardly left home to socialize with other

children. He only partnered other children to

hunt. He was busy inventing devices, makeshift

weapons for hunting in the fields. I did see him

fabricate traps to catch rodents and other

animals. He would disappear from the house

and embark on makeshift hunting adventures.

His exploits in hunting were remarkable.

Oluwaseyi once caught three adult ground

squirrels (Ikun) in a day.

Three adult ground squirrels caught in

close proximity in a day! Ground squirrels were

believed to be more instinctive than that!

77
 Ground squirrels had ruined most of the

maize plants on the small piece of farmland

behind my husband's hut. Oluwaseyi devised

means to distract the attention of the clever

creatures. He decided to hang baits in the air

and set traps underneath the baits. He tied leaf

blades and suspended baits on the knots. This

simple technique worked.

Tying the leaf blades of maize plants as

opposed to other kinds of ropes made the trick

appear natural to the clever animals, I guess.

With eyes frantically set on baits hanging in the

air the animals did not discover the traps

78
hidden just below the surface. The animals

were tempted to get the baits at all cost,

unwittingly falling into traps set directly under

the baits.

Everything worked as Oluwaseyi

planned. Altogether, he caught four adult

ground squirrels in two days. For no less than

the period the maize plants needed to mature,

ground squirrels ceased to be too much of a

problem for that particular piece of farmland. I

was thinking, if only Oluwaseyi could be as

creative and smart academically.

79
 Several other rodents live in burrows dug

in open fields or hidden places. In most cases,

one must wait for them to come out of their

burrows and fall into traps. At some point in

the perplexing days gone by, Oluwaseyi

couldn't exercise that level of patience. In

company of some other children he got into

the activity of digging out rodents. It was a

hectic process.

Once a burrow was spotted with

observable activities of rodents, they set forth

to dig the rodents out. The process involved

the blocking of all but one of the entries and

80
outlets. Rodents that did not escape while that

was done were suffocated with hot smoke

tenaciously diffused into the burrow through

the unplugged entry. Dying this way permitted

little or no struggles from rodents, depending

on species and health. When assailed with mass

of choking gasses from smoking organic

matters rodents die within minutes. Oluwaseyi

and his team would then dig the ground to pick

their kill.

The only kind of rodent rarely caught by

smoking is the ground squirrel. The reason is

that the animal with very low hearing threshold

81
would flee the burrow as soon as anything

touched down within its audible range. Adult

ground squirrels sometimes have in excess of

eight outlets to a burrow; and the outlets

usually concealed with about an inch of topsoil

through which the animal can propel itself if

threatened. Ground squirrels have just about

enough memory to retain their instinct. They

do not hesitate. Not even the nursing females

do.

Several native proverbs were predicated

on ground squirrel’s instincts. Following is a

famous one, “Oro buruku ki ka Ikun mo ile.” The

82
meaning, tragedy never befalls ground squirrel

in its burrow. Despite living in proximity with

humans, tropical ground squirrels have not

been domesticated successfully. Their unique

instincts are probably responsible for this. They

were most difficult to tame, but not for

Oluwaseyi.

To various species of a different family of

animals in the tropics, smoking is not a cheap

way to die. The green and black mambas

gliding in the trees or darting on the forest

floor and puff adders hibernating through

several hours under dead leaves belong to this

83
family. These venomous reptiles hunt rodents

burrowing in tropical Africa like humans do.

They hang around burrows even if plugged by

the suspecting rodents.

Of course, you know what to expect if,

for example, a black mamba is smoked in a

burrow at close range. Oluwaseyi and his team

undoubtedly never took enough care to

prevent been bitten should a snake get loose.

Some of his team members had brutal

encounters with black and green mambas. On

one occasion one underwent days of blood

transfusion to recover having been bitten by an

84
adult black mamba. They caught and killed the

snake. They could not eat it until the lad

recovered!

I knew of people who died from fatal

snake bites in the village – children bitten on

the fields of play, palm wine tappers bitten on

palm tree tops, cocoa farmers bitten or sprayed

with venom on their plantations and so on.

Once bitten, the end was a matter of time for

most snake victims in the village. The natives

administered herbs and diabolic powers to

snake victims. This ensured that most attacks

by venomous species resulted in fatality. People

85
also ate snakes. Only recently I found that

consuming snake meat is unhealthy for humans

because of noxious hormonal compositions.

Oluwaseyi did catch antelope, anteaters,

grass cutters and various species of the cat

family. Grass cutters are quite clever animals

too. When trapped they bit off the appendage

portions of the affected limbs. Healthy

antelope on the other hand wrestled and ran

until the appendage portions of the limbs

ripped off. Oluwaseyi did go after loose

animals with dogs. He recovered one in three

animals on the loose after being caught in his

86
traps! He did catch guinea fowls, brown

tropical quails, hornbills and other species of

birds; simply by teasing them to perch where

they naturally would not.

SCORPION STING AND CLOSE CALL

AFISHING

Oluwaseyi once suffered a life

threatening scorpion sting. He did not heed his

father’s warning to never go bare-footed while

working on the farm. He was stung by a

defensive female scorpion that was swollen

with ripe eggs.

87
 Foluke, now Doctor Olaiya's wife, who

was staying with me and my husband then, was

supervising works on the farm that day. She

was perplexed that Oluwaseyi could not walk

within minutes of the sting. She backed

Oluwaseyi and headed home. She faced a

strenuous, tiring trekking distance. Fortunately,

a man rode by on his motorcycle, stopped and

conveyed the pair home. Whereas most

villagers would apply herbs and live with the

pains of the sting until death resulted or the

antibodies did enough to conquer the venom,

my husband took Oluwaseyi to the health

centre at Ilupeju Ekiti for anti-venom injection.

88
 Oluwaseyi walked himself to danger

every day in the village. He nearly lost an eye in

an attempt to catch fish with his cutlass in

River Ele. It was during raining season

(summer). The water current had peaked in the

river. He followed my in-laws to their farm. As

they were returning late in the evening they

came across a school of catfish close to the

river bank.

Oluwaseyi jumped into the shallow water

and attempted to cut a fish in half. The current

blew his cutlass back to his face, leaving him

with a gush just below the lower eyelid. He was

89
given anti-tetanus (TT) when he arrived home;

he nursed the wound with hot water therapy

and carried on with his adventures. He bears

the scar on his face! Had the cutlass not missed

his eyeball by the narrowest of margins, he

would have been left with one eye.

In addition to the fears I entertained

about his future, I was frightened by how

precariously Oluwaseyi lived. He endangered

himself a lot!

CRUDE FARMING

90
 Oluwaseyi was very hardworking and

thorough in farm works. He would climb palm

trees to harvest ripened oil palm fruits,

sustaining injuries and muscular strain in the

process. He was growing all sorts of food crops

with his father.

My husband inherited a small cocoa

plantation, where Oluwaseyi's demonstrated his

dexterity in cash crop harvesting. He picked up

deep pricks of thorn bushes in the process of

gathering cocoa. The scars are all over his

body.

91
 I could clearly see the difference between

the weeding done by Oluwaseyi and those

done by other children. Oluwaseyi fabricated

cutlasses very suitable for cutting grass out of

any flat metallic object he grasped. The manner

in which he cut the grass in the surroundings

of the house was unique. Every time I saw the

grass trimmed as if mowed with machine, I

knew he did it.

Part of my concerns were that equipment

were available for the works Oluwaseyi did

manually, and that he could not continue to

belabor himself and perform meaningfully in

92
education and learning. A physiologically

normal human being cannot deprive himself of

sleep for so long. If he labors so hard during

the day he must sleep proportionately during

the night. The implication was that there was

little or no time to tutor Oluwaseyi in the

evening. Once he had dinner he was off to

sleep.

The extent to which Oluwaseyi would

hunt animals by rudimentary means and

flourish was impossible for me to imagine. The

scale of crude farming that would make him

financially independent was impracticable by

93
my computation. He could have been

dangerously wounded, incapacitated or even

dead in the process of those repetitive, hectic

and forbidding activities.

I wished Oluwaseyi was as interested in

education and learning as he was in farming

and hunting by crude means. The environment

had dictated the direction he was following.

This hurt me so badly!

OTHER POIGNANT SCENES

1. Scary Death of Boderin*: There was

a tradition in the village whereby farmers

94
designated Saturdays for the preparation of

farm lands at the beginning of planting seasons.

The process, tagged “Owe” was most popular in

the ranks of certain farmers, many of who were

said to be diabolic in their lifestyles.

In the process, a farmer would pick a

Saturday and inform the able-bodied young

men and children in the village that the

preparation of his new farm would take place

on that day. To the young fellows it was

harmless fun to assemble on a farmland,

compete for superiority and then feast together

in the evening. They would team up and head

95
to the farm as soon as the first brush of violet

painted the horizon. They would work until the

farmer was satisfied or no more fields were

available to cultivate, and then return to the

village; to be treated to a feast of pounded yam,

bush meat, stock fish, cola nuts and palm wine.

The young men gorged themselves and drank

as if there was no tomorrow.

In fact, not all “Owes” were harmless fun

as thought. While a few ordinary farmers did

“Owes” purely as tradition; diabolic farmers

used other people's virtues to perk up their

yields under the pretence of “Owe”. A lot of

96
virtues changed hands in the name of this

tradition.

I vividly remember Boderin*, who was

poisoned in an “Owe” feast. Boderin* (not his

real name) bled to death from a gush created in

his throat by the stock fish he ate during the

evening feast. All attempts to salvage his life

failed. He gorged himself to death, literary! He

was physically powerful fellow, famous for

making thousands of heaps in a day! Seeing

Oluwaseyi take part in “Owes” compounded my

fears.

97
 2. The Poor Little Boy with Snake

Venom in His Blood: Something

reprehensible happened when Oluwaseyi was

in primary school. A boy was bitten by snake as

he attempted to dig out rodents in company of

his friends. The lad got home and told his

mother to thank God on his behalf; that snake

twined round his foot but did not hurt him.

Worse still, the unsuspecting mother thanked

God for sparing her boy and never thought

otherwise. That was not enough because a

miracle did not follow.

98
 She should take the boy to the hospital

immediately. The boy took ill later that

evening. The mother did not mention snake

when eventually she decided to take him to the

hospital. The hospital suspected and treated the

most popular African fever of all times –

Malaria. Clinical examination later confirmed

venom in the blood after the cause of the

illness that defied treatment stunned the nurses

and doctors for nearly twenty-four hours. By

the wee hours of the third day the cold hands

of death was on the poor boy. This was one of

various instances in which people

99
demonstrated stark illiteracy and ignorance in

the village.

3. Abigail’s* Relapse: The brunt of the

illiteracy on children in the village was

horrendous. There was a particular little girl,

Abigail*. For some strange reasons her parents

brought her from Lagos and dumped her with

an old woman in the village. Abigail* (not her

real name) was vibrant and confident when she

arrived the village afresh. She artlessly recited

parts of the body, poems and rhymes to the

delight of the teachers in the neighborhood.

100
She spoke English very lucidly. She was only

five.

By the time Abigail* had spent a few

months in the village, all the things she knew

had faded from her faculties. Her memory was

eroded. She relapsed into a poorer state than

most of the children in the neighborhood. The

old woman she was dumped with used her as

errand girl. She accompanied relations to

farms. She was given garden eggs, pepper, cola

nuts, yam tubers, fruits and other food crops as

rewards.

101
 In the process of time Abigail* was

mentally poorer than the children born and

raised in the village. She later left the village.

She is an example of how badly the village

impacted the growth and development of

children. Her relapse worsened my

apprehensions over Oluwaseyi. I have no idea

where she went or what happened to her

afterwards!

4. Adeyeye*: A sickle-cell anemia patient,

Adeyeye's* case was more pathetic than all the

foregoing. His birth was not well thought out,

partly spurred by the epidemic of illiteracy in

102
the village. And his whole life was a

catastrophe. He suffered the dreaded sickle-cell

anemia disease. I doubt his parents knew he

had that condition until he died at about

sixteen. Some villagers presumed Adeyeye* had

familiar spirit, which made him fall sick

frequently.

Despite his condition Adeyeye* worked

like a laborer on the farm throughout his

lifetime. He transported logs of firewood and

food crops on his head like a beast of burden.

Using the traditional axe with wooden handle

he split the logs to sizes. He was stunted; his

103
growth was retarded by the combination of

awkward factors.

The diminutive boy engaged in hard

labor, which compounded his crises. He would

pound yam for his grandmother to sell at her

palm wine joint. He was responsible for doing

most of the domestic chores too. He fetched

herbs to make concoction for himself when his

crises hit. His life was a heartbreaking instance

altogether. His will to live was exceptional, that

was why he lasted until he was sixteen.

For me his death was a relieving moment.

104
 Names with * are not the real names of the individuals in the

story.

105
 4
HIS

MOTHER’S

AGONY
106
 MENACING SILENCE

Even if Oluwaseyi would grow up a

farmer, not a crude farmer, I retorted with

dissatisfaction! Not by engaging cutlasses and

hoes in very cumbersome and time wasting

processes like his ancestors. I was pained!

There was no one in the village I could

share this with. Other children were treading

more disturbing paths, and their parents were

content. Consider the plights of Adeyeye*,

Abigail*, the little boy who died of snake

venom and Boderin*. Children started to labor

107
as early as primary school age. There was no

one I could consult.

I was silent about a disconcerting

situation. Menacing silence it was! The

epidemic of illiteracy in the village caused

chronic heartache for me. It was evasive,

widespread in the neighborhood like germs.

Children grew up in blissful ignorance.

Adolescents lived like there was no tomorrow.

I expected Oluwaseyi and his siblings to suffer

effects of the situation if they remained in the

village. And when you add that to lack of

108
quality education, the result is not compound;

it is complex problem.

There was the danger of becoming

wrongly inclined like many of the adolescents

in the village. Oluwaseyi’s interest was so far a

departure from the wrong inclinations, but I

was unconvinced he would continue to shun

them. It was unfortunate that the adolescents

did not delay gratification. Their inability to

restrain themselves made for a situation in

which they spent their lives upfront. Now they

are grown up, little is left of their lives, how

sad!

109
 As I write this book many of the students

I thought English Language in the community

high school are reaping the rewards of the

careless lifestyles they lived, picking the

remains of battered lives, living on odd means.

So sad!

I was silent about the worrisome issues

that defined life in the village. A brooding

silence it was, one that was menacing!

ENOUGH OPPORTUNITIES FOR

EVERYONE ELSEWHERE!

110
 I read stories of people who rose from

very deprived background and became vital

aspects of science and technology in the

modern day society. The Wright brothers had

pioneered aviation. Later on Sir Frank Whittle

of The Royal Air Force invented the jet engine

that changed the way we fly. Thomas Edison

was not the brain behind the first light bulb,

but he engineered the first commercially viable

incandescent light bulb.

Lately I read about Igor Ivanovich

Sikorsky, the great Russian-American, who

drew on the works of aviation pioneers and

111
produced one of the first practical rotorcrafts.

Other people invented the internal combustion

engine, motor vehicles, railway, telephone,

computer and internet, to mention a few.

In cities, young people were recording

huge success solving everyday problems,

creating goods and services others were

desperate to pay for. For a child to be

backward is a problem no learned parent wants

in these days of opportunities that are begging

for people to take them. The vast human

population and mineral deposits, the

abundance of human and natural resources in

112
Nigeria is coveted by all the nations of the

world.

Anywhere you sink a well off the

Nigerian shore you are very likely to find

natural gas, crude oil or both. The oil reserve is

so abundant that The UK reckons no Nigerian

should live below the poverty line. Nigeria is

endowed with solid minerals too; which, if

properly harnessed, will create enough jobs.

The potentials in Nigeria are so great and

the opportunities so vast that none of the

estimated one hundred and sixty million

Nigerians should be without a well paying job.

113
This is not an overstatement! God has so

blessed our country that we should be dictating

to the rest of the world. I wanted my son to be

part of the generation that will turn the

opportunities that abound in Nigeria to wealth.

He would not be able to do that if he

continued with life in the village.

There are rewarding professions out

there for everyone born in this generation to

engage in. Crude farming and makeshift

hunting are out of it! There is room for

everybody who craves excellence to succeed by

acquiring the required knowledge and skills. My

114
son must become an icon too. But getting

started in so poor and backward an

environment unsettled me about how

Oluwaseyi would make it in life. His interest

was in the labour intensive ventures of

makeshift hunting and crude farming. These

are not lucrative to be candid!

Crude is a perfect match with oil as well.

Supporting crude oil exploration with

helicopter services seems more like it to me!

AGAIN, I PERSUADED MY HUSBAND

TO NO AVAIL!
115
 Before me was a dicey situation, one that

proved intractable. I was twitchy; my fears were

not exactly the same every day. I could not

continue to wait until my husband would

realize the scale of the problem. I must prevail

upon him for a change of environment for the

children. I decided to press him once more,

this time not minding if I offend him with what

I say!

I suggested getting the children out of the

village while the two of us would remain to my

husband. The idea did not appeal to him.

Twice I suggested that and as many times I got

116
a no for answer. Hear his reply, “You mean

they will not be with their parents? I disagree

with you because they are still too young!” He

concluded, “That is not the best of ideas!” I

pleaded with him because I considered getting

them to boarding school a workable idea. He

showed no interest in all my explanations.

My husband wanted his children to live

with him because they were of primary school

age at this time. That was reasonable. But there

was a higher stake.

I was apprehensive that raising children

in the midst of largely illiterate population of

117
the village might not produce the finest results.

It was not entirely impossible task, but statistics

make a strong case that children brought up in

more civilized environments have the edge. If I

did not do something I might lose both ways.

I might fail in my responsibilities as a

mother and lose the children I endured a lot of

pains to bear to the situations I was dealing

with. I still dread Abigail's* fate! I did not know

what happened to her after she left the village!

It would be difficult for me to transfer

my beliefs and views to children growing up

under the circumstances I witnessed in the

118
village. Keeping Oluwaseyi and his sibling in

the village was of no use to me anyway. Trying

to not offend with what I say did not matter

any longer. I became more direct in my

approach.

I presented my husband with further

explanations based on my experience with

students in the community high school. I said

to him, “I have seen the extent of difficulties

teachers face in the high school. Some of the

students are not teachable. If asked to repeat a

class at the end of the session, they would alter

their report sheets, promote themselves or

119
even quit schooling. Parents often come to

clash with teachers for related reasons. The

influence the environment has on the students

is too damaging.” I presented my husband with

these, which he knew. He did not deny them.

Yet, like a legitimate son of Ekiti land, he

upheld his decision to keep the children in the

village.

I headed the counseling unit during my

time in the community high school. Students

did tell me during counseling, “Emi lo ni aye mi,

ma je bi mo ti fe!” The meaning, it’s my life and I

will live it as I please.

120
 Imagine telling a student that his

conducts could blot out his chances of a good

life and he does not show remorse. He gives

you very disdainful look and walks out on you.

You yell at him, “Come back here!!” No way!

He is gone! To not return to school until weeks

later! That was the situation I faced as head of

the counseling unit in the village community

high school. I was at the receiving end of all

sorts of disregard time and again! I resolved my

children would not attend that school!

My plan to get Oluwaseyi and his sibling

out of the village before leaving primary school

121
was not successful. I looked inward and

sobbed at my “tough luck!” I started praying. I

prayed really hard! It was just the beginning

though. The toughest challenges I faced waited

for the most difficult days of my marriage to

manifest!

OLUWASEYI STILL LACKED

COMPREHENSION AT TWELVE!

Oluwaseyi was in primary six at age

twelve. Not too bad, you might think! But

despite having edged most other pupils at Saint

Paul's Anglican Primary School, Ijelu Ekiti, he

122
could not solve basic arithmetic. The everyday

addition and subtraction by counting objects

were a challenge far too difficult for him.

Needless to say, Oluwaseyi could not

pronounce everyday words in a manner that

convinced me he could spell those words. I put

him to the test time and again. He failed as

often as I did. It was asking for too much to

ask him to write simple sentence like, “Akin

goes to school”, at primary six! Yet, he was the

Head Boy.

Oluwaseyi could hardly comprehend

elementary problems at age twelve! You can

123
imagine how poor the other lads in the school

must be for him to be the Head Boy! What I

had in my son was a local champion that would

easily be brushed aside in the stiff competition

to excel that defines everyday life in a city like

Lagos. This spelt the word fear for me in

various forms. Each form having a different

meaning! I intensified prayers! God was my

only hope!

ANXIETY OVER CHILDREN

MORTALITY AND FREQUENT

FEVERS

124
 Nothing encouraging happened to me in

the village. It had been streaks of “tough lucks”

all the way. I lost both male children I gave

birth to after the move down to the village. I

was left with the children who accompanied

me to the village – Oluwaseyi and

Oluwafunmilayo.

It was so sad to have lost two male

children in quick succession! Whereas it would

be unfair to say the loss of the children was

directly connected with events that took place

in the village; children and infant mortality in

125
the village was above national average. The loss

of the male children attested to this fact.

It was so difficult for me and my

husband to bear the loss, after having endured

the trying times before childbearing. My

husband wept as both children I gave birth to

in the village died very young! I remember

hearing him say, “But what did I do wrong,

Lord?”

And that was not all. Oluwaseyi was

frequently falling sick too. In addition to the

battle to redeem his future and the dangers he

exposed himself to on the fields, I could not

126
boldly say Oluwaseyi would make it to

adulthood! He was falling sick, too frequently!

Fever alone barred him from hunting.

Oluwaseyi’s fevers were usually sudden.

He hardly showed symptoms. He would go to

school heartily in the morning, only for my

mother in-law to appear in the staff room of

the high school by mid-day, with news that

Oluwaseyi had been brought home terribly sick

and had to be taken to hospital.

The nearby hospitals were the Oye

Township Comprehensive Health Centre,

Ilupeju Community Health Centre and General

127
Hospital Ikole Ekiti. The closest of those was

thirty minute drive from the village, at least.

The drive could stretch to an hour depending

on the season of the year. The road that linked

the village with the towns was in a deplorable

state. It was usually impassable during raining

season.

Oluwaseyi was prone to malaria fever,

typhoid fever and infections. The presence of

bushes around the compound was a perfect

condition for mosquitoes to breed. Oluwaseyi

did vomit every time he was sick; and would

not eat! I could not predict what to expect

128
from him at any given time. He would catch

cold, start running temperature and begin to

shiver in no time at all.

Whenever I gave him drugs, be it tablets,

capsules or syrup, he vomited as soon as he

swallowed the drugs. I realized Oluwaseyi must

take injections whenever he was sick to get

well. I alternated between the three hospitals

that were close to the village. The nurses did

say to him, “Are you the only child in the

village?”

At some point I started keeping the

injections he was commonly given in the

129
hospitals at home. I had ample experience

administering injections in a maternity home

where I served as the assistant to the Matron

before I got married.

The causes of Oluwaseyi's fevers were

stress from his adventures, handling

contaminated objects, and the prevalence of

mosquitoes in the neighborhood. I was scared

by how suddenly he fell sick on occasions.

Losing him would have made me go mad, for

real! As academically poor as he was, he was

another gift everyday he lived!

130
 MY HUSBAND SHIFTED GROUND

Oluwaseyi's primary six end of term

report sheet was very poor. I drew the

attention of his father to this and other issues I

had raised earlier. I engaged him in frantic,

blunt talk about our expectations over the

children. I implied we had equal stakes in

whatever become of the children in life.

Kneeling before him, I sobbed my heart

out, “We either do something now or forget it.

We must make a choice today. One we will

either remember and be pleased or regret and

lament!” I shed tears on his feet, pleading with

131
him for a change of environment for the

children. I stood up and began to walk towards

the living room!

He called me back. Praise God! My

husband was moved this time around. He was

disturbed. He admitted that there was a marked

difference between his attitude to learning and

Oluwaseyi's attitude to learning. He admitted

that Oluwaseyi was not disposed to learning

like he was to the other things he enjoyed

doing. The observation was spot on, but

appeared a bit late!

132
 The interest to learn must be created in

Oluwaseyi by all means. That week my

husband started conducting lessons for him

after school hours. My husband of blessed

memory would sit him down in the living room

and take him through basic arithmetic and

spelling exercises. It was rigorous and

painstaking process.

Often, the learning process was so

tedious and long drawn out because Oluwaseyi

could not comprehend a great deal at any given

time. His problem was not merely a lack of will

133
to learn, the ability to comprehend was almost

completely absent in him.

I would watch the father and son slug it

out in the living room. Problems far too easy

for private elementary school pupils were way

too difficult for Oluwaseyi to solve. This was

irksome, and his father reacted accordingly!

The punishment and reward technique,

which has since been substituted by other

proven methods of teaching, was employed by

my husband. A whip was always within his

reach in the living room. Anytime my husband

was frustrated by Oluwaseyi, he did not spare

134
the rod. My husband often denied Oluwaseyi

food until he got whatever he required him to

do right. Time and again he confiscated his

food without hesitation!

I saw the pains and frustrations in the

faces of the father and son. For me as a

mother, the situation became agonizing. To

confiscate a child’s food no matter the reason

was gross! Specialists would have charged my

husband with child abuse, and incriminate me

because I did not oppose his style! But

opposing him would be my undoing in the

situation! Besides, his attitude towards the

135
children's need for all-round development at

this stage meant he had started to view things

from a broader perspective. That was why I

went on my knees, prayed and risked

everything as I confronted him on the matter!

Instead of disagreeing with my husband

on the use of force, I would withdraw into my

bedroom, kneel and pray, “Lord, open the

heart of this boy to understand. Help his father

to not give up on him!” I was scared to death

the problems were recognized by my husband

far too late! But the step he took at this point

in time proved to be the beginning of the

136
conquest. If he had waited any longer it would

have been impossible to ignite Oluwaseyi’s

interest in learning.

A tree does not make a forest, not in

parenting. Mothers have roles to play. And

there are roles only courageous fathers can

play. I let my husband do his job!

137
 5
HIS

ACADEMIC

PURSUIT
138
 (SECONDARY

EDUCATION)

ENTRANCE TO BOARDING HOUSE

My husband realized the full weight of

the responsibility resting on our shoulders

following Oluwaseyi's poor primary six leaving

certificate. We agreed that the children would

attend secondary school outside the village.

Daddy became quite anxious about the future

of the children. I petitioned God to make him

realize the extent

139
 of the challenge before us. God heard

me!

We obtained common entrance form and

Oluwaseyi sat common entrance examination

to one of the Unity Secondary Schools in the

former Ondo State. He performed poorly as

expected! Neither of us was surprised by his

miserable score. We explored other avenues to

get him admitted into the school.

Based on the relationship his father and I

had with the administrator of the school, we

were able to get him on the supplementary

140
admission list. The students had resumed for

the session a fortnight ago.

I would not watch Oluwaseyi spend

another year in the village. I did not seek his

father's opinion about the fact that he would be

resuming late. I swung to action, swiftly. The

school uniforms were ready in the shortest

time possible.

My husband was stunned at the

aggression with which I got the school

uniforms ready! He made funds available for

the purchase of some of the other things

required in the boarding house. We concluded

141
arrangements and Oluwaseyi joined the other

students in class one, Junior Secondary School

(JSS1).

We knew education is the only legacy

parents could leave for a child that will be of

use to the child the entire duration of a

lifetime. A properly trained child is the pride of

his parents. One who is not trained brings his

parents reproach. “Omo ti a o ba ko ni yio gbe ile ti

a ko ta”, as the Yorubas put it. The meaning, an

untrained child will auction whatever

properties his parents acquire. We would pay

everything in Oluwaseyi's case for that legacy!

142
Regardless, I had the feeling that sending him

to the boarding school was a worthwhile

undertaking.

Oluwaseyi's elder sister was enrolled in

the Unity Secondary School as well. She had

demonstrated a stronger will to learn, doing

much better academically. We charged her to

monitor and assist her underperforming

brother.

Oluwafunmilayo was dutiful and

responsible, washing and ironing her brother's

clothing on weekends and ensuring all his

143
assignments were done. She was her brother's

keeper!

I learnt in the process of time that

Oluwaseyi had difficulties understanding

instructions given to students on the assembly

ground. It was prohibited for any teacher or

student to speak Yoruba Language in any

gathering in the school. English Language was

spoken in all gatherings. Oluwaseyi did not

understand English. Oluwafunmilayo played

the role of an interpreter for him too.

We bought notebooks and textbooks

recommended by the school authority for

144
Oluwaseyi. I knew he would be unable to do

much reading and writing, for the better part of

the first term, at least. We charged him to

supplement with the books in the school

library notwithstanding. I did not expect any

miracle to happen in the weeks following his

admission to the boarding school. Being in the

midst of other students would at least impart

on him positively, I hoped. The environment

was in contrast to the one in the village, ideal

for learning. The library and laboratories were

well equipped.

145
I EMBARKED ON PRAYER PROJECTS

Back in the village I intensified prayers. I

was aware of the downside of boarding houses

too. The outcome depends largely on the

behavioral predispositions and the choices a

child makes. I was no longer able to make

choices for Oluwaseyi or to supervise him. I

could only pray, hoping that the way of the

Lord I had explained to him would come in

handy.

Teaching a child the way of the Lord is

the only thing more important than sound

education. And the two are interconnected,

146
depending on the angle you view it from. You

really cannot separate biblical indoctrination

from a child's education. Teaching a child the

way of the Lord has the greatest influence on

the learning process.

Dr. Montessori pointed the importance

of prayer and the word of God out very clearly

in her works. When the negative environmental

forces are prevailed upon with prayers, a child's

learning process is greatly enhanced, and the

child makes correct choices. Children blossom

most in environments charged with the

147
positive power of the Holy Spirit and biblical

teachings.

My belief system strengthened my

decision to seek bible believing school for

Oluwaseyi, where I hoped he would thrive and

flourish. There was want of constructive

spiritual influence in the village; where parents

dedicated their children to idols; where naming

ceremonies were desecrating; and witchcraft

ran rampart!

Getting Oluwaseyi out of the village was

a reprieve. I knew there were pranks and vices

perpetrated by some students in the Unity

148
Schools. However, the Student Fellowship

overseen by devout teachers in Unity

Secondary School, Oye Ekiti, was a warm place

where students built firmly on Christian

background. I believed I could pray Oluwaseyi

into the fellowship despite the fact that he was

all by himself in the boarding school. I

embarked on prayer projects; I piled my

requests before the Almighty. But things got

worse!

HIS APATHY TOWARDS LEARNING

149
 I was saddened when I learnt that

Oluwaseyi was hunting rats and rabbits in the

boarding school as well. Again! The report

brought to me by his father jolted and drove

me insane. I felt defeated and conquered, taken

apart in weightless pieces; as if my life had

altogether been a miscalculation. I remember

thinking it would be impossible to set

Oluwaseyi's affection in the right direction. It

was one of my most harrowing moments as a

mother.

I retorted: “A lot of resources have been

expended on his enrolment. I could not have

150
invested in something else when I have a

school-age boy.” But the said boy did not

know how important the role education would

play in his future was. He was clueless,

downright clueless he took his village habits to

the boarding house. Bad habits detrimental to

his future!

Hunting rodents had taken over

Oluwaseyi's senses and he could not keep his

mind on his studies. He was in a whole new

environment with everything put in place for

learning purposes. His attention could have

shifted to sports, I thought, and that would be

151
acceptable. Why hunting again?! My concerns

worsened!

I was restless; it felt like I was losing my

son and my entire world was falling apart.

Illiteracy and lack of understanding of the

importance of education was having a clear

lead in the battle for Oluwaseyi's future. I had

to visit him in school, without delay!

During the visitation, I made it known to

his house master and class teacher that apathy

towards learning had been his problem. We

sent for him! I placed a demand that the

teachers should monitor him closely. I

152
confessed his problems to the teachers in his

presence. I enjoined the teachers to apply the

rod of correction when necessary. That was a

difficult approach for me as a mother. “Ba mi

na omo mi, ko de inu olomo,” say the Yorubas. The

meaning, whip my child on my behalf is not

from the parent’s heart.

But, in Oluwaseyi's case, his father

resorted to the rod of discipline in his learning

process, and he made some progress, very

slight progress. I enjoined the teachers to

observe him closely and apply the rod. They

153
promised they would figure out what went

wrong, and they did!

During the subsequent visit the teachers

revealed their findings to me. I was told

Oluwaseyi did sit with his classmates gathered

around him, to hear him tell stories of hunting

adventures in the village, with voice overly

accented with his dialect. That, at first, did not

appeal to anyone as the reason why Oluwaseyi

had to take to the fields hunting rodents in the

boarding house. He did not appear to be

starving too.

154
 Something more revealing transpired as I

pondered this situation with the teachers. We

called Oluwaseyi and asked him what

prompted him to hunt in the school premises.

The students were fascinated hearing stories of

live hunting adventures, he revealed to us.

Many of the students in the Unity School

were indigenes of Ondo and Ekiti States

residing in Lagos. They were enthralled to find

out that there were actually true sides to the

adventures they read in story books. They

prevailed on Oluwaseyi to demonstrate real life

adventures to them in the vast fields around

155
the school premises. They risked fatal snake

bites! To them hunting was harmless fun.

My son fabricated traps and took to the

fields in company of other students who had

got their learning process well under way. This

situation was devastating for me. No one could

blame the other students. Their quest was born

out of honest curiosity. It was equally a bit

harsh to scold Oluwaseyi on this occasion,

bearing in mind what led to it. The underlying

problem was the direction the village had

stirred his interest.

156
 I threatened to not buy provisions for

him in subsequent visitations if he continued

hunting in the school premises. The teachers

made commitment to monitor him closely. I

drove away from the school in my Volkswagen

Beetle, praying that Oluwaseyi would realize

the need to focus on his academics. In addition

I prayed to the Lord to have a personal

encounter with him. That was central to

everything at this critical moment!

Thoughts of the report by the teachers

punctuated my prayers as I steered homewards

in my Volkswagen Beetle. Traps fabricated out

157
of what?! Where did he get the tools and

materials? These questions punctuated my

prayers!

The teachers pleaded with me to be

patient. There were suggestions among them

that he was potentially very creative and

skillful. I pondered this as I steered my

Volkswagen Beetle homewards. Should

creativity be a problem? Will Oluwaseyi's

inclination be his undoing? Or is this pointing

to an aspect where he could excel?

With the benefit of hindsight, there were

indications of what Oluwaseyi eventually

158
became throughout the doubtful and anxious

yesteryears. His father inadvertently forced him

to this very relevant path. But, in-between, the

situation became so worrisome Oluwaseyi and

Oluwafunmilayo were nearly orphaned!

FIGHT AGAINST HIS APATHY

TOWARDS LEARNING

“Unity students speak good English,” my

husband remarked on a visiting afternoon.

My son was among the students, but yet

to appreciate the basics of correct simple

sentences. I bade his sister to help him do his

159
assignments and other tasks, including

interpreting what the students were told on the

assembly ground.

My husband was on the lookout should

Oluwaseyi become dead set against the rod of

discipline. That would be the beginning of

fresh self-criticism for us. We did not know of

other techniques that would work in his case.

Not as of then! He was not a spontaneous

learner. He must be forced to do important

things he was not interested in, and learning

was one of them. Anything hardly ever

160
appealed to him other than chasing rodents

around.

We were fortunate Oluwaseyi grabbed

the message when rewarded for getting some

of his assignments right. And he did not prove

stubborn when lashed for making silly

mistakes. That being the situation, his father

decided to abide by the punishment and reward

technique. We inclined him to learning, by

force. My husband successful instilled disgust

for making silly mistakes in Oluwaseyi. He

achieved that almost too violently!

161
 Oluwaseyi started to flip-flop in the

direction we wanted. There were indications

the teachers did what I told them. My husband

maintained the pressure with consistent

afternoon learning sessions during his mid-

term breaks and holidays.

Reports made by Oluwafunmilayo

indicated the teachers did a great job.

Moreover, Oluwafunmilayo was always on the

lookout for Oluwaseyi every time the students

assembled. The teachers did personal checks

on him in his classrooms, checking to see that

162
his notes were up to date and checking his

scores in tests.

There was little to excite about

throughout Oluwaseyi's Junior Secondary

School classes though! My fears and

apprehensions regarding his education hanged

in my head. At the immediate, getting him into

the best school in Ekiti State did not prove

convincing enough. Prayers, the measures put

in place by his father and the instructions I

gave his teachers and his elder sister were a

deposit. I did not relent in my efforts! I visited

him in school to monitor his progress regularly.

163
 A MAJOR POSITIVE

God heard my prayers. Oluwaseyi had a

personal encounter with the Lord Jesus in year

two. He immediately started attending the

Saturday and Mid-week gatherings of the

Christian Students. Under the supervision of

devout teachers the Christian Students behaved

themselves modestly. I was glad when I found

out Oluwaseyi had joined the Fellowship! It is

right for me to say the balance further tilted in

my favour at this point in time. All the efforts

164
from the various sources began to produce

effects, a little at a time.

THE LEARNING PROCESS DRAGGED

ON

There is the saying that hope does not

disappoint. Perhaps, this saying kept me

investing more and more on Oluwaseyi, a

schoolboy who was doing fine in extraneous

things but poorly in his studies. Despite the

encounter with Christ Oluwaseyi had not come

close to average in his studies.

In most of his end of term results, the

remarks were, “Poor result. Student must work

165
harder to get up to standard.” I still have those

report sheets in my bookshelf. It was pointless

to ask him to explain those remarks. What I

needed to do was get him up to standard. But

how else?! The background was the poorest

any child could have in this most civilized

period of human history.

Oluwaseyi was not to blame for the very

poor start to his learning process. But in future

he would blame himself, regret his birth and

curse everyone down his line of ancestry if this

situation persisted. He would blight me and his

166
father of course. The only way to avoid that

was to redeem his interest in learning.

I have seen people who rose from bed in

the cold light of daybreak and pronounced

curses on their parents because they did not get

good education. Education makes all the

difference in the way people think and in their

quality of life. Education, who can quantify it!

I do not want my son to curse me, not

even in death when the sun has set upon me.

At this time I could only hope that would not

be the case; because, the learning simply

dragged on, painfully!

167
 I would not haul Oluwaseyi over the coal

anymore. It was the situation in which he

found himself. I could have absolved myself of

the blame as a mother too, on the grounds that

my husband chose to settle the family in the

village. But blaming my husband's choice

would not do me good. After all, I knew the

type of person he was before I consented to his

marriage proposal. And, thankfully, he shifted

ground and agreed to send the children to

boarding school!

The learning process dragged on, no

doubt. But, having agreed on what to do and

168
taken steps, the boy was making slow but sure

progress. The problem had been recognized by

both of us. We faced it head-on, hoping,

spending our time, our resources and

ourselves; waiting for the conquest. It was

indeed an anxious wait!

WE INADVERTENTLY CHOSE

CAREER PATH FOR HIM

My husband's health suddenly started to

fail. His physical wellbeing plummeted like a

rock from the cliff of a mountain. That took

169
most of our attention from Oluwaseyi and his

sister.

We scrambled from one hospital to the

other for therapy. Daddy’s situation did not

improve! With his health degenerating fast and

the children at so crucial a stage of their lives I

could not do enough on both fronts. I

concentrated on giving care to my husband

because no one else would attend to him in the

hospital.

Back at work, I did not neglect my

official duties completely. I engaged in a lot of

traveling to attend audits and head counts in

170
school. My daily routines became tedious, then

prohibitive. I was used up, tired and perplexed!

That the children were in the boarding house

was a respite at this point. Mercifully, they did

not go morally wrong!

Oluwaseyi performed below average

throughout his Junior Secondary School

classes. He was promoted on trial on most

occasions. Getting into the Senior Secondary

School classes, he opted for the commercial

class. His reasons were not farfetched. If I had

my way I would have him enroll for the

171
sciences. But I had reservations he might not

be able to cope with the sciences.

I did not want a situation in which we

would forfeit the modest signs of

improvements seen so far. That would be the

end of all the hopes I had entertained on him.

Getting an underperforming son to enroll for

the sciences might turn out silly. But the

bombshell soon fell on my silence about his

choice of the commercial class.

Deep down, his father wanted him to

enroll for the sciences too! I remember that

day; Oluwaseyi came to check his father's

172
condition in the hospital, and to inform us he

had opted for the commercial class. My

husband, lying immobile on his hospital bed,

said to him: “Son, when you get back to

school, enroll for the sciences. I want to

become the father of a Doctor or an

Engineer.”

I pondered this within, a son who was

fumbling academically to become “A Doctor

or an Engineer!” It was laughable, to be honest.

And that those words were articulated by a

man who was given half chance to live could

only be interpreted as vain disregard for his

173
life-threatening condition. Thank God none of

the people paying attention in the ward

understood our situation.

It was a poignant instance. I could not

approve of or disapprove of the instruction by

my dying husband for obvious reasons. Any

contradiction of this instruction to Oluwaseyi

would hurt his feelings badly. His entire life

was already wasting away. The scene took place

at the Oye Township Comprehensive Health

Centre. I stood by my husband's deathbed,

utterly confused and hard done by.

174
 It became clear to me the deteriorating

man was thinking the way I was thinking. We

both wanted Oluwaseyi to enroll for the

sciences. But neither of us was bold enough to

raise the issue before this time. Oluwaseyi's

performance in school was not close to that of

a child that would perform averagely in the

sciences. Not until time proved otherwise!

I remember the look on Oluwaseyi's face.

It was an indication of, “You defiant parents,

how will I cope?!” His countenance fell. No

doubt, he was overwhelmed with fear of the

science subjects. I felt for him but did not say a

175
word. I dared not contradict my husband in

that situation.

It was a gamble the gravely ill man had

taken. And by keeping quiet I supported the

instruction that Oluwaseyi should enroll for the

sciences upon his return to school that day. We

both must take responsibility for the outcome.

I watched everything play out like a

melodrama. It was so theatrical a scene. One

thing I knew for sure, since he was stung by the

scorpion, every time his father spoke to

Oluwaseyi the words were binding.

176
 Quietly, Oluwaseyi retreated from his

father’s sickbed side and went back to school

that day. The moment he left I turned to my

husband and asked solemn questions. We

contemplated our chances at successfully

redeeming Oluwaseyi's future.

It was a tense and emotional moment.

My husband and I wept, with an apostrophe to

what would become of Oluwaseyi in the

science class. Neither of us could boldly say we

have not taken a step in the very wrong

direction by forcing him to enroll for the

177
sciences. And it would be one wrong step too

many.

My husband hoped he would pull

through, saying, “I will do everything to help

him succeed the moment I shake off this

ailment!” Unfortunately, my husband of

blessed memory never rose from his sickbed. It

was the ailment that shook him off the land of

the living. His situation declined with the

setting of the sun each day. The stricken man

died 9:45 p.m., sixteenth day of the month of

November, 1997; a painfully slow and

exhaustive death process.

178
 The children believed their father was

afflicted. He was a brave man reduced to a

weakling long before he died. The ground

upon which he bade Oluwaseyi to enroll for

the sciences holds him in a final embrace. I

dedicate the next chapter to him.

The children suspected a diabolic attack

from the extended family as the cause of their

father's untimely death. Heaven knows!

S. O. Olatunji my beloved husband was

bedridden for the last three years of his life. I

am forever grateful for having known and

married him. More so, for the verdict he gave,

179
which saw underperforming Oluwaseyi

redeploy to the science class while he (my

husband) was at death's door. Oluwaseyi's story

took a radical twist the moment he enrolled for

the sciences. I suspect God spoke through my

dying husband. It was out of the ordinary!

A POINT WORTHY OF NOTE

It is appropriate that parents permit

children to choose the respective fields of

learning they want to pursue, i.e. arts,

commercial studies, education, engineering,

technologies, humanities, management, social

180
sciences, biological sciences or pure and

applied sciences.

The exception to this rule is most

appropriate however: If, based on the parents'

evaluation of a child's interests it is determined

that the child has not chosen the field he/she is

expected to thrive most, parents should

intervene and guide such a child as appropriate.

Other factors to consider in choosing which

field to specialize in are the prospect for future

diversification and the dictate of the job

market. Considerations must be given to these!

181
 Whereas it was apparent Oluwaseyi was

scientifically inclined. We had taken a gamble

by enrolling him for the sciences by

compulsion. The decision was stirred by our

own aspirations as parents in the teaching

profession, rather than any potential for

Oluwaseyi to thrive in the field of sciences. His

father did not dialogue with him. He ordered

him to enroll for the sciences, even at a time he

was bedridden. That was the height of my

husband's autocracy! That would raise

questions in the hearts of experts!

182
 But, the gamble paid off! Even in his

assessments in the office today, Oluwaseyi's

scientific and technical inclination is reflected.

My husband did not give Oluwaseyi the

opportunity to explain the reasons for his

choice of the commercial subjects, reasons that

we knew anyway.

The bottom line is: it is desirable parents

rub minds with their children before changing

their choices. And to children I have this to

say; whatever advice your parents offer you is

in your interest, consider it!

183
 HIS FIRST ACADEMIC STRIDE

To what do I compare Oluwaseyi

following his deployment to the science class?

It is like bringing honey out of granite rocks.

Perhaps, more like bringing good things out of

Nazareth! Oluwaseyi's first end of term result

in the science class showed marked

improvements over all his previous report

sheets. For the first time, his promotion was

convincing. I was not overly excited.

I waited anxiously for other indications

that his father finally got him on the right path

in life. Assuredly, from that time he only got

184
better in his academics. It is still mysterious to

me every time I think about it. His second year

in the science class was the moment of truth.

His result was better than the previous one. On

and on, the better his results got.

Oluwaseyi would finish his Senior

Secondary School very strong, with distinctions

in his final results as a science student. He

wrote his Senior School Certificate

Examination (SSCE) at a time I barely had any

time or resources to spare. I did not visit him

in school throughout the duration of the

examination period. It was not the way I

185
planned it. His father had been bedridden for

well over two years and his health deteriorated

by the day. That took most of my attention

away from the children.

Oluwaseyi was starving as he prepared

and sat for his SSCE. He depended entirely on

the rations of food he was served in the

boarding house, which was no longer adequate.

But he pulled yet another surprise! He cleared

the entire subjects at once. He was the first

from the Olatunji family who sat and passed all

the subjects registered in WAEC in the first

attempt. His father died a week before his

186
result was released in November 1997. Death is

the last enemy of man to deal with.

Death put an end to the protracted

ailment that tied my husband to the hospital

bed and drained the resources of the family.

But at the same time, I had conquered the

greatest fear I had. The hope I entertained on

Oluwaseyi was becoming a reality. My marriage

had been dealt a huge blow, but my husband

left me with an offspring to which I would

look up. And how about the instruction he

gave to Oluwaseyi to redeploy to the science

class!

187
 God was working something out of our

pathetic state as a family before my husband’s

death. Oluwaseyi's good WAEC result and my

husband's death marked the beginning of the

next round of struggles though.

188
 6
HIS

FATHER’S

DEATH
189
 PROTRACTED DEATH PROCESS

My husband's death came as a sad

cheerless relief for me, I do not know about

the children. The period we were taking him

from one hospital to the other was difficult. I

do not wish anyone such hardship. Well over

three years of life in various hospitals across

the nation. The doctors could not diagnose the

exact problem.

Initial tests indicated his internal organs

were functioning correctly and his blood

pressure was normal; yet, he was sick to death!

He became an experimental project for student

190
doctors. It was apparent experts in the various

teaching hospitals were clueless about his

situation. Time and again they asked my

husband if there was a history of such ailment

in his line of ancestry. There was none! What a

strange affliction my husband suffered!

Out of desperation, family members did

everything; including seeking help from

traditionalists, where help may not be found. It

was disappointing having to yield to pressure

from them because a miracle did not take

place. I could not stop them as there were

accusations I was not cooperating with them in

191
their bid to find healing for him. They took my

husband to odd places in search of healing.

There was a particular traditional doctor with a

vocal deity – “Osanyin” – the demon infested

statue that whispers. Some even say Osanyin has

absolute speech!

There was a white garment church where

the sick were forbidden to eat beans too. I

declined to go to these places. Relations called

me funny names and pointed accusing fingers

at me. My patience was tried yet again! But I

knew healing was not lost that we should go

astray searching for healing in odd places. God

192
disposes of healing, the same God of Old!

When the traditional doctors took ill, even

“Osanyin” could not save them! Traditionalists

most certainly deceive their clients; deceit being

the most versatile tool in the hand of Satan.

The family members had their way

because a miracle did not take place. And I

prayed for miraculous healing. I did! But a

miracle did not happen. We were not united by

common belief. I was hard done by. I was at

the receiving end of undue criticism of the

Christian Faith. It was tedious, hectic,

forbidding and disapproving a time!

193
 Pains were the last sensations my

husband experienced every night before he

would be induced, forced to sleep. The same

painful sensations woke him up at every crack

of dawn. For him pains defined the whole

process of existence; and he was poised to

accept anything just to get relief. He

compromised his stand and took to

recommendations that afforded him no lasting

relief from his pains!

My husband's beliefs were severely

eroded by the infirmity that defied medications.

For him any assistance would do. At some

194
point it became clear me and the children alone

kept faith with prayers. That effectively put the

family and the conquest on conflicting sides of

the situation.

Tears dropped from my eyes as I looked

up to God for answers to healing prayers. I

watched the drama unfold in my life with

horror and dread; my health began to give way

too. My blood pressure rose dangerously!

Too late into the tribulations my husband

realized all the things recommended for him to

use had failed him. Barely had he asked God

for forgiveness when his speech began to

195
cease, his eyes to pale and his heart rate to

diminish. His last words were “Have mercy on

me Lord! Forgive my sins!! … Look after the

children.” He said, “Do not let them suffer. O-

lu-wa--se- -yi, O-lu---wa...” – His speech

ceased, though his lips were moving as he was

fighting to speak and to stay alive. He was in

the middle of his night hours. The entire family

gathered around his bedside.

Oluwaseyi's dog was howling and barking

around the building. We chased the dog away.

Soon she was back right behind my husband's

196
window, tense, restless. We eventually decided

to chain her. That made her more agitated.

The dog was reacting to her senses.

Certain dogs and cats have the capability to

smell the hormonal changes that take place

within the human body during the death

process. With a sense of smell several times as

sensitive as human's, the behavior of

Oluwaseyi's dog was not unusual.

Moreso, my husband's glands and organs

had weakened severely prior to his death; his

body metabolism had altered, releasing

distinguishable odor. The dog obviously

197
perceived strong stench of the death process

behind my husband's window.

A little earlier we saw a nocturnal animal

around the house. That, too, was a signal. I

sensed my husband’s time was up. The smell of

death must have caused the unusual behaviour

of the night-time creature.

My husband's final struggles stretched

from midday to 9:45 pm in the evening the day

he died! Oluwaseyi was attending to him when

he fought his final war with pain. He felt

lethargic calm, his pains suddenly disappeared,

and the last enemy laid siege to his soul. His

198
life blood collected in the lower part of his

body and congealed. In a moment he was cold

and very dead!

JOURNEY TO HEREAFTER

When eventually the last enemy (death)

took my husband away, nobody could point

accusing fingers at me anymore. Everyone

sobbed helplessly!

Solomon Olajide Olatunji’s spirit

departed without considering the plight of the

entire family who had gathered around his

bedside. Service of Songs held in his honor

199
within the compound. The Choir rendered

“Abide with me… Fast fall the eventide. . . The

darkness deepens. O Lord with me abide…

Help of the helpless, Oh, abide with me.”

Tears dropped as the soul of the

Keyboardist and Choirmaster was urged into

the next phase of his journey with valedictory

songs. The final burial took place within twenty

four hours, within which the decomposing

remains had begun to stink strongly. His body

made a final exit from the mud house in the

village. Indeed, the ground upon which he bade

200
Oluwaseyi to enroll for the sciences holds him

in a final embrace!

He alone knows his eternal fate! His

death marked the end of a muddled chapter.

The sun set upon him a bit too early; and in a

manner nobody admired. The mordant claws

of death grabbed and dragged him into the

land of darkness, the place of the dead. How

fleeting is the time of life! Fifty five years of

life, and he passed on, just like that! He left me

alone to confront the challenges we both made

for ourselves. And it was a cheerless and

emotionless parting on his part too.

201
 ALL ARE BIRDS OF PASSAGE!

Reader, the day of death is most certain.

It is the day the enemy will lay siege to the soul

with all his powers of darkness; whilst worms

and termites will take possession of all that we

treasure in the members of our bodies. The

earth upon which we viciously engage our

indiscernible hearts (Jeremiah 17: 9 & 10,

Psalm 20 verse 5, Psalm 64 verse 6, Psalm 53

verse 3) ultimately cleaves to the clay of sorts

we adore so much (our bodies, Job 4:19, Job

25:6, Job 4:19).

202
 The soul of the deceased can no longer

be undermined by anyone as he is now free

from all constraints to the material body, faced

squarely with the distinguishing realities of the

hereafter. Everything pertaining to the present

life grinds to a halt in split second. The body

grows cold and motionless. The spirit takes

flight into the realm where colours are brighter,

consciousness sharper, borders clearly defined

and nothing is hidden; to report itself to the

Creator. All of these take place at the speed of

thought! And the life Giver gathers every

returning spirit to His bank, where souls are

kept in wait for The Judgment Day. Until then,

203
occupy, says the Lord Jesus Christ. Till I come,

occupy! Luke 19:13.

OCCUPY TILL I COME!

Luke 19:13, occupy till I come. Though

you are in the process of dying every day be

productively engaged I construe the Christ as

saying! In other words, the fact that everyone

dies someday is no reason for idleness. Keep

yourself busy and keep the enemy at bay. It is

easier for the enemy to engage idle hands. Until

God brings your time of life to an end keep

improving on your strengths, keep adding value

204
to yourself and keep marching forward. This

way you will be an example for the world to

emulate.

Oluwaseyi must rise up. I needed to give

him a little push at a time everyone was

mourning for his father. With that he was

mourning and moving on with his life at the

same time. He defied the odds of losing his

father at so crucial a stage in his life. Indeed, it

was a chapter that ended. It was not the end of

the road! For the rest of us, the journey

continued.

205
 7
WIDOWHOOD

OF HIS

MOTHER
206
 OFF-TIME TRANSITION TO

WIDOWHOOD

My transition to widowhood was a major

change in circumstances that took place over a

rather long period of time; with its lasting

effects on every aspect of my life. I developed

ways to cope with the challenges. It was a

stressful off-time transition. Adjusting to it

successfully stretched my thoughts and

imaginations.

The circumstances prior to my husband’s

death strongly influenced the process. I

experienced intense grieving even before my

207
husband died. This was marked by feelings of

depression, mood changes, disrupted lifestyles,

interrupted sleep patterns, truncated dreams,

and abrupt changes to plans.

Every day was marred by challenges that

proved difficult to adjust to. I had to develop

strengths and habits that made things work for

me and the children. The protracted ailment of

which the family head eventually died disrupted

the family life. I went through years of

intensive care giving to my husband, who was

bedridden for the last three years of his life.

208
 Loneliness was my companion. There

was no one in the neighborhood I could spend

reasonable time with when my husband died.

And I could not show it to the children how

lonely I was. Depression and decreased life

satisfaction stared me in the face. I was

apathetic to things.

For the sake of the children I forced

myself to attend to everything I needed to. I

was in a state of emotional duress, doing things

by compulsion. The manner of my husband's

death and the huge debts the family incurred

disconcerted me. There were times I felt there

209
was nothing to excite about in life. The long

drawn out ailment that led to his death was

more traumatic than violent or sudden death.

Adjusting to widowhood and carrying the

load was a lengthy transition. In the absence of

a miracle, I knew the situation of my husband

consistently implied off-time widowhood. But I

was physically and emotionally exhausted by

prolonged and intense care giving, financially

exhausted by hospital bills that must be paid

even after his remains had been buried. These

made for an intricate phase of life though I saw

it coming!

210
 Why humans in so frail and fragile frames

must endure such times as I experienced will

only be known on the resurrection morning.

The stress concomitant with the experience

was overwhelming. I have God to thank for

instilling the will and resolve that made me

carry the load in me!

Owing to my commitment to the

institution of marriage, I had greater

adjustment to make as a widow despite my

anticipation of the death of my husband. There

was no support from family members or

friends I could rely on without a price. That

211
was why I desperately sought divine

intervention before the darkest hour; which

was never to be!

Everyone in my situation would fancy

opportunities to develop new interests and

friendships. But the combination of

circumstances in my case – namely the ideology

in the village, environmental factors such as

illiteracy, poverty of thoughts, the specific and

pressing need to point the children in the right

direction – all left me with no time for anything

of secondary importance. I was left to grieve

212
alone, cope alone, make decisions alone, and to

carry the load all alone.

In addition to the loss of a long time

mate, friend, and “father”, the other half that

along with my own made a whole, I lost

satisfaction in things I did. It was by God's

grace I was able to look forward to the future.

And by looking forward to the future I do not

imply trying to find a new life for myself. I

mean the well-being of Oluwaseyi and

Oluwafunmilayo, the two children in my care!

They were all there was to my thoughts of a

new life, a hope and a future.

213
 I could easily have been unable to pick

up the pieces and carry on to a life lived alone

had I put myself in perspective when my

husband died following the traumatic

experience. His death process reminded me of

the vanity of all there is to this dilapidating

world!

Every bit of the problems that rocked the

family challenged my faith. The problems took

quite a toll on my desire for satisfaction in life

for me to forget them so easily and begin to

think of a new life and a day of happiness for

myself. I dropped all my ambitions! The only

214
way I could have got by was for me to live for

the children God gave me and the late S. O.

Olatunji.

If any comfort, hope, dream, expectation

or satisfaction, such was in the future of

Oluwaseyi and Oluwafunmilayo. Only in the

divine calling of being a mother did I find

purpose after having been widowed in that

order. Many had travelled the road I was just

beginning. It was shameful I could hardly point

to anyone of identical sense of purpose in the

village. There or thereabout, I was all by myself

on the difficult road.

215
 All the things I took for granted in the

years of marriage and togetherness had become

things of yesteryears. Every time I strolled

down memory lane was with nostalgia. The one

I entreated, persuaded, had words with and

even differed with on issues was gone. I

desperately longed to have someone to

accompany me in the journey of life. All these

were never again to be! Even, keeping with the

minimum standard set by my husband, the

instruction to Oluwaseyi to redeploy to the

science class was a daunting task.

216
CARRYING THE LOAD AND STAYING

STEADFAST

The bond of marriage was severed by the

sharp knife of my husband's untimely death.

He was fifty five. All thoughts that he would

recover from the health problems ended the

very moment he breathed his last. That paved

way for the next phase of my life – widowhood

– in earnest.

There were certain rites the extended

family members expected would be performed

upon me now that my husband had died and I

decided to not remarry. I made it clear that no

217
such thing would take place. I took a stand on

the matter. The few among them who were

well-meaning accompanied me to church for

prayers, during which I pledged to my Lord to

abide a widow for the rest of my life. The

decision to not remarry was certainly the best

for me.

Carrying the load all alone was daunting

task though! The burden I had borne since my

husband was bedridden felt no lighter when he

died! I became flexible in making decisions. I

embraced ideas I had earlier rebuffed on the

grounds that they were humiliating. God's

218
grace saw me through each day, but the stark

realities of widowhood were inevitable!

I make bold to say I did not

compromised though I had to accommodate

ideas I had rebuffed. I had to embrace all noble

ways things could be done. I became dynamic

within the confines of holiness, righteousness

and fear of God; doing everything upright to

sustain the surviving members of the family.

I tried rewarding ventures like daily

contributions (Ajo Ojumo), increased my stake

in 'Ire-A-Kari' Multipurpose Corporative

Society, and joined another cooperative society.

219
Loans from these sources attracted particularly

low interests I could not resist. This was

pivotal to funding my children's tertiary

education. Small ventures and enterprises

became my financial stay! I drew a little here, a

little there, to make ends meet.

I made changes to the family life in

various ways. I cut down on daily expenses in

every aspect I could. We lived on the least

expensive commodities available. I started to

account for every kobo I earned. I cut down on

the cost of running my Volkswagen. I extended

the duration between successive services of the

220
car, and used parts much longer. Whenever I

was descending slop I turned off the ignition to

save fuel. That was risky; there is the danger of

inadvertently locking the steering wheel in the

process. I do not recommend it at all! I became

so good at this potentially dangerous maneuver

that I cannot remember ever locking the

steering wheel in the process. I expected these

extreme measures to reduce the life of the car.

But I could not help the situation. Thanks to

the rugged way the car was engineered, it

served me throughout the difficult period with

no major problems. Other salient points will be

clearer to the reader as we progress.

221
 DEBT CRISES AND OTHER

CHALLENGES

Whoever afflicted my husband with that

infirmity did not mean well for me and my

children. Upon losing my husband, huge debts

resulted mostly from hospital bills. During the

spell in the hospitals, student doctors and their

supervisors were probably aware only a miracle

would do. They fancied their chances to arrive

at ground breaking discoveries. They

researched into my husband's health problems;

which cost the family dearly.

222
 Had the doctors come up with useful

scientific breakthroughs, the credit would be

theirs and my husband would be the first

patient to benefit from whatever drug and

therapy they came up with. That would be an

answer to my prayers; precluding the recourse

to “alternative therapy” by the relations. The

Doctors acted valiantly. They would fight the

affliction to the death at my expense. They lost

the fight for which I paid dearly anyway!

The decision to seek help with

traditionalists by the family members was a

mistake, which cost me dearly too.

223
Rehabilitation by “alternative therapy” is vile

and costlier! It is a marked deviation from the

use of fruits, vegetables and medicinal

plants/herbs for curing diseases. The

traditionalists enriched themselves at the

expense of the family; which compounded the

debt crises for me.

Read Isaiah 8: 14 - 22. Pay particular

attention to verses 19 and 20. No light

whatsoever in “alternative therapy”, so called!

It speaks not according to the law (The Old

Testament). And it speaks not according to the

testimony (The New Testament). This is

224
ascertained in verse 20 of the Scripture before

us. Hospitals have proven knowledge of herbs

that are potent in the treatment of known

diseases. Ask your doctor if in doubt, not an

herbalist! Any respite afforded by the enemy is

short-lived, and damnable. I am talking from

experience!

By the time my husband took the fatal

knife to the throat, I was neck deep in debts. I

had obtained loans from cooperative societies

and colleagues. My salary was less than four

thousand naira a month, the equivalent of

thirty five US Dollar in today’s money.

225
 I must pay the loans. My creditors had

their own life to live. They had their own

problems. They did not kill my husband after

all. It would be graceless of me to make my

problems their problems by not paying. They

did not put me in the situation I was in. It was

my cross and I had to bear it.

The money taken from cooperative

societies was accruing interests, little by little. I

made a commitment to settle the debts, none

of which was written-off. As soon as we

concluded the funerals, I faced the debts

226
repayment squarely. God was the only one

there for me.

Before me were other challenges. The

burden of two was now what I must bear

alone. Oluwaseyi had good grades in all the

subjects he sat for in his WAEC examination.

We started seeking admission into University

for him barely two weeks after his father's

death. But the family was hugely indebted. All

efforts to get his father's benefits paid by the

relevant authority availed nothing at the

immediate.

227
 At about this time a colony of termites

ascended aggressively through the walls of the

mud house. They destroyed the rafters of the

roofing and ate everything on their path. More

and more termites made their way to the ceiling

every day. By the time I realized the scale of

the damage more than half of the rafters

needed to be replaced.

I got used to chunks of wet clay falling

on my bed from the ceiling while sleeping at

night. It was time wasting to lay my bed while

going to work in the morning. It would be

filled with debris by closing hour in the

228
afternoon. This situation was annoying and

horrifying. The thoughts it spurred were not

pleasant at all. It felt like devourers had entered

my life.

Having to deal with the termites and the

subsequent repairs to the roof put me in tighter

financially situation. This was a period in my

life I would like to remember no more. The

burdens almost overwhelmed me, taking huge

toll on my health too.

Of course, opportunistic men attempted

all sorts in their bid to take advantage of me. I

trembled but held to the Rock! Of him the

229
Israelites drank in the wilderness and they

lasted throughout the exhaustive and

protracted journey. I was done with marriage.

The burden on ground was enough for me to

carry. Let no man add to it! If I would die in

my situation compromise would not be the

cause. The Lord was my stay! If he wanted me

dead he should kill me, I decided. Regarding

my faith, no more compromises.

The worst had happen. Nothing else, not

even the hardships, would shake me to a

compromise again. I resolved to face whatever

storm the enemy would throw at me. And the

230
enemy did cascade storms and challenges

before me and the children. Nevertheless, my

belief in the divine nature did not fray around

the edges!

We lacked funds but believed there

would be a way out. After all, the worst that

could happen was for us to be consumed like

the family head. The children wept in turns as a

result of the fear of not overcoming the

circumstances that prevailed upon their father.

One would be weeping another would be

appealing for calm. As soon as one took to the

231
appeal the other would start from where he

stopped.

The children feared being the next victim

of the attack. A poignant scene was created

around the house. Feeling of bereavement

hung in the air. Because money and other

essentials were in short supply, the children

missed their father even more. I encouraged

the children in the Lord as I focused on the

task ahead. Their father's fallen star had burned

out completely. We needed to move on!

232
 FORGING AHEAD IN SPITE OF

OBSTACLES

While the children mourned with an

apostrophe to what would become of them

following their father's death, I continued to

think of ways forward for the family. I decided

the death of the family head would not stop

Oluwaseyi from moving on to tertiary

institution. The dead cannot fight for the living.

It is the living that must prevent his lot from

further decay!

The whole responsibility for the entire

family was rested upon my shoulders. The

233
burden was much. I implored Jesus to assist

and give me succor; but that did not happen

the way I imagined! Oluwaseyi would not sit at

home waiting to write the University

Matriculation Examination. That would take

another six months or so. I did not want him

to sit down that long in the village! That

prompted the push I gave him.

I sent Oluwaseyi out of the house where

people continued to gather. Thinking they were

mourning for my late husband they confused

words to us and filled us with strong memories

of our losses. Losses that ensued in very quick

234
succession! Some of the sympathizers were

actually seeking to catch us (the bereaved)

unawares. Imagine, the fellow the children

suspected to have killed their father came to

“sympathize” with us too. But he could not

hide his guilt-ridden face; even outsiders

alleged he was the killer. God knows all things!

I sent Oluwaseyi to Ado Ekiti, the Ekiti

State Capital, to inquire about the Pre-degree

Science Program of the University of Ado

Ekiti. When he relayed his findings to me I

started looking for funds to pay his registration

fee, tuition and administrative charges.

235
Squatting eliminated the need to pay

accommodation charges.

I had to find the money to pay all the

bills Oluwaseyi needed to pay. Sourcing for

funds was a robust challenge for me. By all

noble means, which included borrowing again,

I got the money. That I got the money in noble

ways was all that mattered to me! I ate the

humble pie and carried my cross.

Oluwaseyi's bills were paid, just in time.

Against the backdrop of financial indebtedness,

other constraints and the psychological strain

of losing his father only recently, he did

236
enough to qualify for entry into the department

of Mechanical Engineering of the institution.

He never had enough funds. He became

accustomed to shortage of funds; sleeping and

dinning on the heels of friends.

At this time, we made up our minds to

press on. As long as we are alive the grace of

God would be sufficient, that was the attitude!

We were making the most of our difficult

situations, getting the better of the constraints,

one at a time!

MY ONLY HELP
237
 I was really struggling financially. Help

came from nowhere except from the Lord. To

His timeless hills I lifted my soulful eyes daily.

From him came all the helps I received; mostly

by reviving me with the enduring promises in

His word. When the situation seemed to have

overwhelmed me the Lord would give me a

scripture; which I would ponder over and

again.

Sometime my health was failing, my

blood pressure rose dangerously high. The

situation became too worrisome. That was how

the enemy intended to finish me off and to

238
orphan the children, rendering them

completely helpless. But the Lord would

strengthened me and help me uphold my belief

in the divine nature when I prayed.

Through it all, the Lord was by my side.

Relations attended the funeral, grieved and

afterwards carried on minding their businesses.

As a matter of fact, any member of the

extended family hardly had enough to spare me

anything. And God did not send money to me

through an outsider. Neither did He send bread

through a raven. He gave me the wisdom to

manage the little resources I had.

239
 I struck a balance between settling the

debts and ensuring Oluwaseyi's University

Education did not grind to a halt. I would

reassure the creditors I had them in mind, that

I was committed to paying up. And they

understood. This way God helped me. I knew!

ALMOST OVERWHELMED

I did not give up. However, I was living

on increasingly confined means. The space

around me and the children got even tighter.

We were pressed hard against on every side,

physically, financially and emotionally. I had to

240
cater for myself and the children and to ensure

everyone’s safety! The need for collaborative

efforts was evident. But none came along to

lend even moral support.

I could not have remarried at this stage

of my life, or abandoned my own issues. God

forbid! I was intently praying and looking out

for God's benefits; which hitherto appeared to

have been manifesting no more than in modest

measures. I thought blessings should pour

forth at so difficult a time. The situations

around me made stronger case for blessings,

241
benefits; rather than having to wait on

promises.

Measures of blessings that equaled our

needs would blot out the sense of loss and

desperation. I desired and deserved such! The

cry of my heart, my prayer every day, was for

God to literally open the windows of heaven.

But even the deserved desires appeared to

stretch into eternity.

I contemplated selling my late husband's

car, a 1977 Datsun 180 B Series; but no one

was willing to pay cash for the car that had

been grounded, parked since 1995 owing to

242
maintenance needs. The best offers I received

from some people within the village were

ridiculous and they intended to tow the vehicle

away on credit. I knew they would never remit

the agreed sum. I ditched the idea of selling the

car as a result, though it was of no use to me

there in the garage.

I was made to wait more on God's

promises, more and more. Waiting

overshadowed the blessings and benefits I

received daily.

God's benefits were forthcoming, modest

measures of benefits at intervals. I enjoyed

243
fresh air, rains, sunshine, and beheld the

greenness and beauty of the vegetation around

the house. No one who has had my kind of

experiences would take these “free gifts of

nature” for granted. Some depend on life

support machines, some blind and some simply

bedridden, of no use to themselves and others.

I knew the frustrations and psychological

trauma my husband endured, to die at the end

of it all!

I felt we deserved God’s benefits in far

greater measures than we received at this time.

I could justify my feelings! God could literally

244
open the windows of heaven. He could

dispatch angels with bagful of hard currencies.

We deserved that following the death of the

breadwinner, the man God appointed my head

and father of the children! My plights were

desperate! The feelings were compelling. But

the good God did not act as I felt! His reasons

I may never know.

There was a set time, an appointed time

for me and my seeds; as for everything under

heaven. Waiting on God's promises took

center stage therefore. I encouraged myself and

the children that God's promises are timeless.

245
God is never late. His appointed time is best,

and it would come. I kept on, watching,

praying to forestall further disappointments,

working to ensure the family did not grind to a

halt. I knew God's promises abide even when

all else appeared to have failed. All I needed

was to wait on Him. I waited, and waited. I was

almost overwhelmed! I devised some help for

myself.

246
 8
HIS

ACADEMIC

PURSUIT
247
 (TERTIARY

EDUCATION)

BACK TO FARMING

Funding Oluwaseyi's University

Education and settling the debts became an

uphill task for me. There was severer economic

hardship in the country. It was towards the end

of the military era. I realized trading was no

longer viable in the village.

People would take items on credit and

decide to not redeem the cost. For a long time

I kept a list of debtors believing they would

248
pay. They never did! Whenever I appealed to

them to pay they turned it to arguments. Some

even quarreled with me and started behaving

maliciously.

Every time Oluwaseyi was opportune he

went after the debtors. He was met with

outpouring of anger. That was treacherous. I

stopped letting him go after them, and soon

stopped trading in the village as well! I forsook

several tens of thousands of Naira in the cost

of items sold on credit. Friend of God, it is not

honorable to owe money and decide to not

pay! Romans 13:8: “Owe no one anything

249
except to love one another, for he who loves

another has fulfilled the law.” The decision by

the debtors to not pay was not inspired by

love, doubtless!

I had to revert to an idea that posed the

greatest concern for me about Oluwaseyi's

future in the early days of his growing up. I

opted to farm to augment my earnings. Paying

laborers to cultivate and tend a farm in the

village did not make sense. One, I would be

losing part of the money I needed for

immediate use. Two, the laborers hardly did

any job thoroughly. Weed overgrew the crops

250
they were employed to cultivate. Besides, the

laborers people employed were the ones who

stole whatever crops matured on the farms

they were employed to cultivate. So, of what

use would employing their services be?

Oluwaseyi was the only one available to

me to use in the intended farming operations.

It was a conclusion so difficult to come to

terms with. His lack of interest in learning in

the early days of his growing up was attributed

to farming and hunting. Now we had to revert

to farming to sustain his University Education.

This cycle which is typical of human life

251
haunted me relentlessly. The haunt was

attended by guilt-some feelings which

tormented me and questioned my commitment

to Oluwaseyi's future.

I berated God with tears, “God, you are

my provider, attend to my situation.”

Quietness graced the room where I prayed.

Stillness prevailed looking through my window

to see if there were signs on the horizon! I

stepped out and looked heavenwards; there

was not a sign. “He would rather provide by

credible means”, I retorted and consoled

myself. It felt like I had run out of options.

252
 I jettisoned the feeling of guilt from my

heart. I resolved we would farm in the

meantime. It would be for a while, for a period

of time which I defined for myself. We went to

farm again. I considered that, producing our

own food like in the days of his father, I would

be able to save nearly all my salary for his

academics and repayment of the debts. By my

calculation that should work. It was doing the

same thing under a different set of

circumstances. My recourse was to farming. It

was a backward step, but it was the right

direction to go when the way forward hit a

dead end!
253
 We did not go to the farmland the family

inherited. If the suggestion by the children that

their father was diabolically attacked was right,

it was probable that the evil was done to him

on the inherited farmland; which was shared

with the extended family members and was

disputed for a long time. My husband put

himself in the vanguard of the move to resolve

the crises within the extended family. And that

opened him to attacks on every side, for real.

I had to look elsewhere for farmland.

Otherwise, I would be undoing myself putting

254
my son in harm's way. In which case the enemy

would laugh last, God forbid!!!

In the community grammar school where

I was a teacher were vast farm lands that had

not been cultivated for well over a decade. The

jungles were thick and intimidating. But the

lands were fertile in equal proportions. The

students declined to clear the jungles for their

agricultural practices.

I obtained permission to cultivate the

abandoned lands from my principal and

Oluwaseyi sprang into action again. He cut

through the jungles like a machine and

255
cultivated all sorts of food crops. He cultivated

yam, cassava, maize and the likes in substantial

quantities. He worked himself like a tractor.

During his semester breaks, and sometimes

coming home to tend the farm on weekends, I

have not seen another man's son as determined

and industrious in my entire life!

Oluwaseyi produced enough food crops

to support the family. He filled the void left by

his late father most appropriately in that

respect. The yield from the farm was full and

overflowing. As a result, I was able to save the

bulk of my earnings to support his University

256
Education and that of his sister. I resumed the

debt repayment fully again at this time.

It is sad to say, but I must mention this:

Some people found their way into the farm

stealing from the food crops cultivated by

Oluwaseyi to support his widowed mother at a

time the family should get external support. It

hurt me but I did not curse them. Other well-

meaning people who knew my situation made

pronouncements upon them. I must reiterate

that the thieves have not made any progress in

their lives since. I did not curse them with my

mouth. They are haunted by the evils they did!

257
 There was naught for the thieves to take

when we removed all the food crops cultivated

from the farm and called it quit with farming.

The thieves had to turn away and look

elsewhere to steal. Several years have since

passed. My son has excelled while they are still

busy stealing tubers, cola nuts, grains and

vegetables from farms around the village!

Whatever a man sows in life same he shall reap,

bountifully! Reader, those who sow rot reap

decay. There is dignity in labour.

SUCCESS IN SPITE OF ANXIETIES

258
 I was apprehensive that farming would

slow down Oluwaseyi's progress in his

University Education. But he would show me

his grades in the courses he took at the end of

each semester. The grades cast my fears away

completely.

He was also involved in Fellowship

activities that were time consuming for an

undergraduate. Overall, Oluwaseyi proved to

be a good time manager and to be very hard

working. He struck the delicate balance

between his University Education, farm

keeping and other constructive activities he

259
engaged in during his undergraduate days. He

even had time for outreaches.

Oluwaseyi became thick-skinned to the

hardships life threw relentlessly on his path. He

turned deaf ears to the voices telling him he

would not make it. He believed God's word

though he had nothing to show for his beliefs.

The one that should be ministered to started

ministering to others. He started combining

noble things I did not envisage with his studies.

Imagine!

Oluwaseyi was not the best student in his

class during his Pre-Degree days. But right

260
from the onset of the program he enjoyed

recognition amidst his course mates for solving

difficult assignments; So much so that they

designated him “No Controversy”. Having

solved a ratio problem a team of brilliant

students in the class had battled with all-

weekend;; Oluwaseyi was designated “No

Controversy” by his course mates. The

nickname was later changed to “Crammer's

Rule” when the Engineering Students left the

Faculty of Science for the Faculty of

Engineering in year two. Reason was that

Oluwaseyi could memorize just about any

number of pages!
261
 Oluwaseyi complied with what I call a

triangular lifestyle on campus. The apexes of

the triangle were the dormitory where he lived,

lecture halls/library and the NIFES (Nigeria

Fellowship of Evangelical Students) Campus

Fellowship Centre where he worshipped. The

links between these places formed the sides of

the triangle. His compliance with this very

stringent lifestyle afforded him the opportunity

to concentrate on his studies.

There was but epileptic electricity supply

on the University Campus. The lantern

Oluwaseyi used for night studying is still down

262
in the village as of this writing. He handed it to

me when he graduated.

He recalled his experiences in some

courses that were notorious for giving students

problems in the Faculty of Science and Faculty

of Engineering. These included MATH 103

(differential calculus, integral calculus and their

applications), algebra, engineering mathematics,

fluid mechanics and engineering drawing.

Oluwaseyi gained popularity for solving

hard differential and integral calculus problems

in year one. When he realized his course mates

were dazed every time he solved a difficult

263
problem, he started looking for every

opportunity to solve difficult problems in the

class. That was a bit out of sort!

Oluwaseyi soon earned a reputation for

finding the solutions to hard problems. He did

visit the library more regularly, trying to figure

out the solutions to those problems that posed

challenges for everybody in his class.

According to him, many students struggled

with MATH 103 in particular. He enjoyed

recognition for taking tutorial classes in MATH

103.

264
 Only few students scored 'A' in MATH

103 exam in his set. Oluwaseyi was one of

them, with 77%. Not that much impressive a

score bearing in mind all the tutorial classes he

took! “MATH 103 was tough”, he confessed.

Whereas I am not an advocate of coming first

in everything, the reader must strive to finish

strong in every undertaking. There is no

gainsaying in this. It is noble, worthy of praise,

to do well!

The year two fluid mechanics was a bit

more challenging for everyone in Oluwaseyi's

class. The engineering students had moved to

265
the Faculty of Engineering. Apart from being a

difficult course, there was no lecturer to take

the course until about mid semester. The

lecturer in charge was on sabbatical. That put

the entire students behind schedule in fluid

mechanics. This is a course in which Oluwaseyi

was almost caught flat footed. Starting fluid

mechanics late meant the entire students had to

work extra-hard to pass.

Examination period was fast

approaching. Somehow, Oluwaseyi had not

done enough study on fluid mechanics. So

came the eve of the exam. At about 10 pm on

266
the eve of fluid mechanics exam he realized

there was a part of the handout (course

material) he did not have.

Thanks to the intervention of one of his

classmates who was in the hall with him that

night, he gained access to that part of the

handout. That was pivotal to his sweeping

score in fluid mechanics. The fellow who gave

him the material was an executive member of

the NIFES Fellowship, where he worshipped.

The fluid mechanics exam would hold 8

a.m. the following morning. There was no time

to understand everything any more. Oluwaseyi

267
had to cram how to derive all the equations

and formulae in fluid mechanics from first

principle. He was quite good at cramming.

Actually, he was very good at cramming,

though he has unremitting desire to understand

his works in details.

He was there in Adetutu Hall, University

of Ado Ekiti, cramming all night. The

principles of laminar and turbulent flow, the

equation for calculating pressure head, the

theory of static and dynamic pressure across a

section of fluid at rest or in motion, the world

famous Bernoulli's Equation, and a host of

268
other lengthy formulae, Oluwaseyi crammed

them all overnight.

Fortunately for him, the lecturer caught

the students by surprise. Nearly all the

questions in the exam required the students to

derive equations by working from first

principle, and then apply the equations in

solving for the unknown quantities in

engineering problems. That required sound

knowledge of calculus from MATH 103, which

Oluwaseyi was good at.

While the brightest students in the class

who had prepared mainly to apply formulae in

269
the exam were literally sweating in the exam

hall, Oluwaseyi was done with over one hour

to spare. He reviewed his work. With one hour

to spare he submitted his answer booklet and

exited the exam hall to the amazement of his

classmates. He scored 80% in that course,

feeling really cool!

According to him, the lecturer was

impelled to upgrade the lower grades so as to

get the bulk of the students who failed the

exam to 40%. That reduced the number of

carryover students and made the next class

manageable. Another remarkable score by

270
Oluwaseyi was 96% in engineering

thermodynamics. He was famous for excelling

in the subjects dreaded by many of his

classmates.

All did not go smoothly with Oluwaseyi

in the University, mind you! There were rough

edges. One in particular is worth mentioning.

Oluwaseyi had a carryover (repeat) in general

study in his second year. His grades in the rest

of the courses he sat for that year were very

good.

According to him, most of his course

mates, including those who made first class

271
honors, repeated that particular course. His

explanation of what happened in that particular

course and his other results melted all fears of

possible relapse in his academics from my

mind.

I deduced the lecturer in charge of that

particular course did not spend enough time

with the students. It was also likely the lecturer

did not carry the students along very well. I

disapproved of the failure notwithstanding!

Oluwaseyi re-registered for the course the

following session under another lecturer and he

passed.

272
 THE INVINCIBLE GOD

I looked up to God for help in ways I

thought would meet the immediate needs of a

bereaved and desperate family. But consider

how God in His vast wisdom delivered help.

God directed his help at the most

important aspect of building Oluwaseyi's

personality and strength of character. God's

help came in ways money and daily bread could

not have been substituted for. He helped

Oluwaseyi to strengthen his character by going

273
through the trials and hardships I have outlined

in this book.

The boy grew in character and in

wisdom. He knew the word of God was the

only thing that could answer the stubborn

situation we were contending with. Oluwaseyi

emerged able to stand the test of time.

The boy I referred to as a local champion

in an earlier session is now a champion of sort,

with rare qualities. The areas where God

delivered help were pivotal to what he became

years after the adversities climaxed! He

emerged with a spring in his step. Every choice

274
and decision he makes today bears the mark of

God's creativity ingenuity.

Oluwaseyi finished his University

Education with a Second Class Upper Division

in Mechanical Engineering. He was called-up

to the National Youth Service in the year 2005.

Glory to God we have not had recourse to

farming since his convocation (graduating)

ceremony. We have not had cause to beg

bread. This is the tenth year. We have only

waxed from strength to strength!

On completion of his University

Education at age 25, Oluwaseyi and I breathed

275
deep sighs. I knew we had navigated our way

around a very difficult period of our life. Who

made it all possible? No one but The

Everlasting God! I praised the name of the

Lord.

That Oluwaseyi succeeded in his

University Education was a miracle. No less

than a “little' miracle”;; the word little because

of people who would mind my words. Within

me I know the sheer size of the huddle

Oluwaseyi scaled. The enormity of the

mountain God made plain before us was such

276
that no heart could share my joy when he

graduated from the University.

And that was only the beginning of very

interesting life adventures of my son, whom I

have branded “The Miracle Boy”. He has since

been recording the achievements that his late

father and I hoped for against all odds. This

made me think God spoke to him through his

dying father. Yes, God can use anything. Any!

To see the children graduate from

University is the prayer of every learned parent.

It is even more desirable to see them gainfully

employed! Oluwaseyi's drive for a noble

277
profession is coming up. God's power, my die-

hard investment on Oluwaseyi and his

unremitting attitude to his studies since his

father bade him to redeploy to science class

had yielded the second landmark result. He

proved to be capable of defying the odds in

life. His successful completion of his University

Education is not the highest point of a life of

adventures that have delighted every reader of

this book. His life took more interesting twist

following his graduation from University!

278
 9
HIS JOURNEY

AFTER

GRADUATION
279
 DEPLOYMENT TO ABAKALIKI

Oluwaseyi was handed letter of

deployment to Abakaliki, Ebonyi State, to

serve the nation. Even if I had wanted to

influence his deployment (maybe to Lagos) I

did not know anyone in the capacity to do that

for me.

Oluwaseyi pleaded with me not to worry

about his deployment, saying, “Wherever I am

deployed to serve the nation I shall go!” The

era of GSM had come prior to this time. To be

honest I did not have a mobile phone, neither

could I afford to buy one for Oluwaseyi at the

280
time he had to travel for his youth service. We

had just enough to take care of our basic needs.

He traveled without means of communicating

with me directly. I later arranged for a Nokia

phone and sent it to him in Abakaliki. Things

were turning out a bit more promising!

Oluwaseyi arrived Abakaliki, Ebonyi

State Capital. He would be there for a year! He

decided to not travel until the completion of

the service year. He has a loathing for plying

the deplorable road networks in Nigeria for

safety reasons.

281
 Oluwaseyi taught Physics and

Mathematics at Presco High School, Abakaliki.

He was also the Publicity Secretary of the

Ebonyi State Chapter of Fellowship of

Christian Corpers. Combining various

responsibilities had become part of him. My

worry at this time was about his safety. Safety

had become of increasing concern to parents

of youth corps members. Very unfortunate! I

entrusted Oluwaseyi to the Everlasting Arms

that had sustained him thus far.

The things Oluwaseyi engaged in during

the service year were time consuming and

282
demanding. He was able to make some money

from extra classes he organized for interested

students despite his tight schedule. I did not

ask him details of how he managed to combine

so many things. I learnt he really overworked

himself.

From the money he made and saved he

bought himself a new computer set with which

he improved on his computer and IT skills.

Oluwaseyi did not feed well in Abakaliki. His

eating habit had not been encouraging for a

long time, and he was saving money too.

283
 OFF TO LAGOS

The service year ended and Oluwaseyi

returned home. He looked stressed, tired and

skinnier. From all indications he overworked

himself during the service year. He had further

lost his appetite for food. I was a bit worried,

but he assured me all was well with him. He

told me he had added value to himself. I gave

thanks for his safe return. He spent barely a

week with me in the village before he gathered

his certificates and bade me good bye. He

headed to Lagos in search of Job offers.

284
 I had distant relations in Lagos with

whom Oluwaseyi could stay during his quest

for job. None of the relations had close ties

with me. The choice of where to stay was

challenging for him and staying there was no

less challenging. But, if you must get rewards in

life you must bringing yourself low.

In south western Nigeria, job seekers

know Lagos is the hub for the best job offers.

Heading to Lagos in Oluwaseyi's case was

heading to uncharted territory. He was not

familiar with the Lagos metropolis at the time.

Getting a good job would not be without

285
hunger, suffering and anxious wait too.

Overall, he was brave and courageous! His

determination was pivotal at this stage.

HIS INITIAL QUEST FOR JOB OFFER

Oluwaseyi arrived Lagos on his quest for

job in February 2006. He wrote application

letters to several companies. He was called for

aptitude tests and various stages of interviews.

There were indications he was successful in

most of the tests and interviews. But, and it is a

big disappointing but about the society we are

in, Oluwaseyi could not get an appointment

286
letter throughout the year 2006. That was

attributed to the fact that he did not know

people in top positions in offices. Discouraging

and sad! The initial quest was futile!

GREAT DELIVERANCE

Following the anxious wait for an

appointment letter, Oluwaseyi was introduced

to the weeklong deliverance program of the

Mountain Of Fire and Miracles Ministries

(MFM), where all manners of prayers are said.

Having passed so many aptitude tests and

attended various stages of interviews without

287
being employed, it was common sense for him

to heed the advice to address things spiritually.

Besides, the decision to attend the

deliverance was worthwhile having struggled all

his life. Oluwaseyi attended the deliverance

program late in the year 2006. He prayed all

manners of breakthrough and deliverance

prayer points during that week. Foundational

problems were addressed. All the aspects of

human life you can think of were touched

during the exhaustive weeklong program. God

be praised he got commensurate results.

288
 The following year turned out to be very

rewarding. I attribute the bright way things

turned out in the year 2007 to a combination of

factors. Namely, God's commitment to the

timeless promises in his word, Oluwaseyi's

desire for change, his unremitting attitude to

job search and his readiness to take on

anything noble.

Oluwaseyi changed a few things about his

job application process after the deliverance

program. He made changes to the format of

his CV and made his application letters the

shortest possible. He compressed the essential

289
information on his CV to two pages. He

reduced the body of his application letters to

fewer than four lines. He did something very

unorthodox to each application. I will reveal

this to the reader in a while.

He modified his CV based on the

guidelines provided in the advertisement placed

by the respective organizations to which he

applied. He would write a very brief application

letter, suited to the requests in the invitations

of the respective organizations. His application

letters were patterned as follows:

27, Steadfast Lane,

290
 Boulevard of Dreams and Possibilities,

Deliverance Town,

Lagos,

Nigeria.

DD/MM/YEAR

The Operation's Manager,

Leading Edge Airlines,

Holiness Highway Airport,

291
Rapture Intersection,

Lagos.

Sir,

RE-APPLICATION AS TRAINEE PILOT

Further to your invitation to qualified and

interested candidates, I hereby apply as a

Trainee Pilot to Leading Edge Airlines. My CV

and relevant credentials are attached to this

application as required.

Yours Faithfully,

(Names and Signature)

292
 He attached photocopies of relevant

credentials to each application.

The unorthodox practice which I

commend to job seekers is as follows:

Oluwaseyi kept the bottle of anointing oil he

used on the deliverance ground. He anointed

every page of each application with the oil,

with care to avoid obvious stains on the sheets

of paper, and proclaim the confessions and

scriptures he was given on the deliverance

ground.

He then sealed the application in an

envelope of appropriate size and took it to the

293
post office; or scanned, attached it to an

electronic mail and sent it – As specified in the

respective invitation for applications!

Extraordinary things began to happen in

quick succession! Even though Oluwaseyi did

not know people in top positions in offices, the

God factor weighed in heavily!

294
 10
HOW HE

BECAME

A PILOT
295
 FAITH ADVENTURES

Oluwaseyi's first job offer came in

January 2007. He went to Victoria Island to

market cups, writing materials and other

stationeries in offices. While doing that he

dropped several applications. He got his first

offer of employment in the process. He was

employed as a Documentation Assistant in a

maritime company.

His job function was arranging invoices,

bills and folders in the archive. He was under

the supervision of an Ordinary National

Diploma holder (OND). The lady, according to

296
my son, was always seeking to make him realize

she was the boss in that department. Oluwaseyi

cooperated with her, but he did not hide his

intention from her. He made it clear to her the

job was not his final bus stop.

Oluwaseyi carried his credentials with

him everywhere he went within the Lagos

metropolis, dropping them in offices, mailing

them by post and electronically. He was

nonchalant about where he dropped copies of

his CV; he dropped at least a copy in any

corporate organization he stepped into. Within

three months of doing that he had an offer

297
with the highest paying bank in the country at

that time.

In actual fact he was not invited for the

aptitude test by the bank. He learnt that the

bank would conduct test one Saturday

morning. He took copies of his credentials and

headed to the venue. He narrated how all

gatecrashers were embarrassed before he was

allowed access into the hall and he wrote the

test. He ranked among the very best candidates

in that test and secured the job after three

stages of interviews.

298
 By June 2007, Oluwaseyi had his third

offer of employment in six months. And this is

mentioning only those offers of employment

he considered. According to him, he declined a

couple of offers within the period.

The last offer of employment Oluwaseyi

considered was with an airline. The moment he

concluded the first aptitude test with the airline

he was so confident he would be successful.

And he indeed was successful. He did not

hesitate to accept the offer having made it

through the series of tests and interviews.

299
 His acceptance of the offer to train as a

Pilot was considered by many as too ambitious!

But after all the hardships he had gone

through, he was no longer risk averse. He was

disposed to do anything noble. His father was

not an aviator. None in the clan he hailed from

had flown an aircraft before him. Yet, he must

resign his well paying banking job to take on

the offer to train as a pilot. It was a huge risk.

Many advised him to decline the offer!

After series of tests and interviews,

Oluwaseyi was one of three candidates selected

from a list of about six thousand applicants.

300
The Airline placed advertisement for interested

and qualified candidates to apply to train as

pilots on sponsorship in the dailies. Well over

six thousand applications were sent in. A

selected few (about 250 candidates) were short

listed and called for the series of tests and

interviews. Oluwaseyi was among the few.

Through hard work and study, which

included constructive use of the internet and

computer system, Oluwaseyi became very

versed in aerodynamics, so much he ranked

among the top three in the series of tests and

interviews designed by the company to select

301
candidates that suited their long term plan. The

saying is true; if you can study you can learn

just about anything. (Aerodynamics is the

science that deals with the principles of

operations of flight capable machines.)

On the day of the last phase of the

interview, Oluwaseyi rose very early from bed.

He arrived the venue with plenty of time to

spare. The Operations Manager (Head of

Operations) and the Human Resources

Manager constituted the two man interview

panel. The large room was beautifully

decorated with various models of airplanes.

302
 The Operations Manager sat in the

distance, with his eye glasses hanging below his

eye level. He gazed on the candidates as they

stepped into the room in turns. Oluwaseyi

remarked that his first impression of the

Veteran Pilot was that he wanted honest

answers to his questions. Oluwaseyi also felt he

would be fair in his evaluation.

The Veteran Pilot welcomed Oluwaseyi

and immediately asked him to tell a brief

history of himself. Oluwaseyi paraphrased the

events so far described in this book. With

plenty to say the man did not allow him to

303
finish. He reached for the stick on the table

before him and started pointing at the various

models of airplane in the room, asking

Oluwaseyi the manufacturers.

Oluwaseyi artlessly invoked the

manufacturers of the first, second and third –

It's Dornier. It's Airbus. It's Sikorsky – in that

order! You would think he had worked with an

airline before according to his account of the

interview.

The Veteran Pilot pulsed. He quizzed

Oluwaseyi about the weather phenomenon

associated with the North East Trade Wind

304
from the Sahara Desert and the seasonal

movement of the Inter-Tropical Convergence

Zone (ITCZ) about the earth's equator.

The Veteran Pilot asked questions about

me and my late husband. Oluwaseyi responded

accordingly. He commiserated with Oluwaseyi

for losing his father at a so tender an age. To

conclude with he asked Oluwaseyi if I would

object if he was eventually chosen to train as a

pilot.

Oluwaseyi responded with another

question. “I think the decision to fly should be

made by the candidate and not his parent!” He

305
was apprehensive of what my opinion about

choosing a flying career would be.

The reply from the man, “You are

actually right! Candidates should make that

decision and not their parents! We'll get back to

you!”

PRECARIOUS RIDE FROM MARINA

TO IKEJA

Oluwaseyi held on to his banking job in

the meantime. His branch was behind Broad

Street, Marina, Lagos. He had resumed in the

banking hall on the day of the aero-medical

306
examination, with two million naira in his

cubicle, about to start attending to customers.

His phone rang. It was a call from his

new employer at Ikeja Airport. He was needed

at the office to be conveyed to the aero-

medical examiner for the aero-medical

examination. He approached his supervisor in

the banking hall, Mrs. Ladipo Morenike.

“Madam, I need to go for my medicals, now,

please!”

In a way typical of the Nigerian banking

industry the woman declined. Oluwaseyi knelt

before her in the presence of waiting customers

307
and started pleading with her for release.

Embarrassed, the woman had no choice but to

let him go. Though, she later queried

Oluwaseyi, which was understandable!

Oluwaseyi boarded a commercial motor

bike from Marina to Ikeja. That was precarious!

Mercifully the ride was hitch free. He was

conveyed to the aero-medical examiner at Ajao

Estate, Lagos State. He was anxious and that

made his blood pressure a bit higher than

normal.

The aero medical examiner, another

veteran who had vast experience in the field,

308
knew what was going on. He gave him the all-

clear! He was successful in the examination and

preparations for the trip to the United States

began.

HE TOOK THE RISK!

Oluwaseyi had passed his medicals and

been appointed to train as a pilot in the United

States of America. The stakes were higher at

this stage. He immediately resigned his high-

paying banking job to take the offer.

A bird in hand is worth more than a

thousand birds in the skies, the saying goes!

309
But his resignation of the banking job was all

about his readiness to take worthwhile and

noble risks. The challenges of life thought him

to do so!

Oluwaseyi had not flown as a passenger

in an aircraft before this time. In reality he had

no idea what the cockpit looks like. His first

time of seeing an aircraft on ground was during

the recruitment exercise with his new employer

at the Ikeja Airport.

People who had friends who had

resigned their jobs, accepted the offer to train

as pilots from the same company and failed in

310
the training advised him to not “take the wrong

step.” Though the job market was not as

difficult as it is today, losing on two fronts

would be viewed as carelessness! Many people

felt Oluwaseyi should hold on to his banking

job, which he had resigned all too soon in their

views!

The airline selected candidates to train as

pilots purely on merit. And the people who

constituted the management team did not

hesitate to withdraw any candidate who falls

below average during the assessments carried

out in the initial stages of the yearlong training.

311
It was company policy to cut losses as soon as

indications emerged that a candidate would

finish below average. In this light the company

was a gray area for job seekers, quick enough

to cut losses at the very first indication that a

trainee would finish below average. The

percentage of the trainees that succeed yearly

was not all that encouraging according to

reports.

Flying training is cost intensive and one

cannot blame the company for withdrawing

underperforming cadets. Those who advised

312
Oluwaseyi to keep his banking job knew what

they were saying.

Thanks to the fact that Oluwaseyi

resigned the banking job all too quickly, he

would have been made to think otherwise!

“Banking is a livable job. But there is

something of higher order out there”, he often

responded when advised to think again. He was

defiant. He resigned the banking job in a rush.

The offer to train as a pilot was to him

the opportunity of a lifetime. He would not

relinquish it without an attempt! Of course, he

only informed me of his decision having

313
resigned the banking job; which effectively

rendered my opinion irrelevant. Some people

came up with the idea that he should recall his

resignation letter.

The resignation of the banking job and

acceptance of the offer to train as pilot marked

the stage in Oluwaseyi’s life I refer to as the

point of no-return. All I did was pray for him

to succeed.

NO GOING BACK!

Oluwaseyi started the VISA application

process to enter the United States when he

314
obtained his Nigerian passport. For the first

time in his life he flew in an aero plane. He

flew from Lagos to Abuja on a mission to

attend an interview at the US Embassy. The

flight was in a Boeing 737 series 400 aircraft

operated by Aero Contractors from the

domestic wing of the Murtala Muhammed

Airport, Ikeja Lagos.

Oluwaseyi narrated the thrilling and

jolting behavior of the airplane with

anticipation of when he would start flying. That

was in June 2007. He was the first member of

315
the family to have flown in an airplane; and the

first to obtain an international passport.

He was aspiring to become a pilot. Good

things began to happen in my lifetime. I

waited earnestly to see the finest days of my

life! I believed the promises of God. Oluwaseyi

had a fascination for viewing the rainbow

whenever it appears in the sky. The rainbow is

a sign of promise!

Despite the reputation of his new

employer, the United States embassy at Abuja

denied Oluwaseyi VISA. The denial was

attributed to a lot of reasons which I will not

316
bother the reader about. Before subsequent

application for the VISA his employer liaised

with the Lagos embassy of The United States.

He had to reapply, and that took time.

Typically, there was a three months

waiting period between subsequent

applications for anyone applying to enter the

United States as of then! That meant Oluwaseyi

would resume his training late. He waited for

the new interview date. The day dawned. He

went to the embassy early in the morning. His

application was approved. Relief!

317
 THE STAKES GOT EVEN HIGHER

There was a problem though. While

Oluwaseyi was sorting out his VISA issues in

Nigeria the ground instruction of the training

program resumed in the State of Florida, USA.

By the time his VISA was issued the other

students from all over the world in his class

had completed about two hundred and fifty

hours out of the seven hundred and fifty hours

of the ground instructions. The flying phase of

the training was about to start! His two

colleagues from his company in Nigeria joined

the class before him. Oluwaseyi was too far

318
behind the rest of his mates. The stakes got

even higher!

Over there in the US the flying school set

a deadline. The management decided that

Oluwaseyi would not be admitted if he did not

meet a set date. I was anxious, I prayed for him

to meet the deadline and to succeed. He left for

the US when eventually his VISA was issued.

That was early October 2007, barely meeting

the deadline.

Upon his arrival he notified me. He

stressed that he had missed too many hours of

instructions that it would be difficult for him to

319
cope. There was nothing both of us could have

done to prevent this from happening. It was

one of the instances we had to make up for

setbacks that did not result from time wasting

on our part, or from misinformation of some

sort. It was a very unpalatable situation to

contemplate.

Oluwaseyi forfeited two jobs for the

opportunity to fly. He was at the verge of

becoming jobless again! He got to the US at

about the very last moment, barely meeting the

deadline, and having to play catch up in the

doubly risky field of aviation. Coming from

320
behind he had to get up to speed and meet a

standard termed “High Average”. Below that

the school was obliged to notify his employer

he was underperforming. And the decision to

withdraw a candidate is made the very time the

report indicates the candidate is performing

bellow average! None in the family had done

something as audacious.

Oluwaseyi concentrated on his studies so

much he was malnourished. He was again not

feeding well. The task before him drove his

appetite for food away. The lad who was not

inclined to learning at the beginning was now

321
desperate to learn to keep his chances for a

good career alive. How dynamic is man when

he sets his affection on what is noble!

According to Oluwaseyi, the fear of

failing was clearly written on his face. One of

his colleagues from Nigeria said to him,

“Oluwaseyi you are always feeling insecure!”

Back home his expression of concerns were

almost driving me insane every time I had

telephone conversation with him. In a typical

conversation my son would tell me that all was

not well with him. He lamented joining the

program late. I was worried because it was

322
getting to an extent that I felt he was

entertaining unhealthy fear.

I did not know exactly how he was

performing or how to handle the situation.

Florida is eleven hours twenty minutes away by

air! Oluwaseyi's greatest fear was that he would

fail and be repatriated at some point, I knew

that much. I would hang on with him on the

phone and pray. I took the situation to God in

prayers. His sister did the same thing. We made

his training program our prayer project. The

goal, he must succeed! Every day he was still

323
abroad we were optimistic, and we prayed

harder. Weeks and months passed!

SURVIVING THE ODDS

According to Oluwaseyi, his colleague

who made the unpleasant remark that he was

feeling insecure saw being in the US an

opportunity to enjoy the exploits and beauty of

a country whose founding fathers paid dearly

and current leaders are accountable. He partly

neglected his primary aim of being in US to

learn how to fly.

324
 Oluwaseyi reported the young man as

“Busy driving around the Boulevards in Florida

and having a good time!” Oluwaseyi was always

in his room, reading, solving his navigational

problems and thinking about his flight

trainings. He was preoccupied with how to not

fail having recognized it was far too easy for

him to fail. And it was a matter of time, the

other two candidates from his company failed.

They were withdrawn from the training and

repatriated.

The one who made the unpleasant

remark that my son was always feeling insecure

325
was the first person that failed. The following

day he was on the transatlantic flight to Africa,

Lagos the final destination. Bye to the US, the

Country where everything works, where he had

arrived not to study but to have a good time at

the expense of his employer. At least for the

moment, he was forced to bid the US goodbye.

The airplane that carried him across the

Atlantic took-off into sunset from Detroit

International Airport; one of the busiest and

most sophisticated airports in the world. I

wonder what was on in his mind when the

reality dawned on him! He arrived Nigeria and

326
pleaded with the Operations Manager for

another chance. No way! His reports were way

too bad! He is once upon a time a cadet pilot;

he logged plenty of dual flight hours but did

not make the solo milestone!

The other candidate was a bit

unfortunate. Oluwaseyi told me he would have

made it if he heeded the advice he gave him.

Unfortunately, he did not take to Oluwaseyi's

advice. He did take to the advice of the other

lad who failed. He did not make it. He is still

working with the company as a maintenance

crew. He was repatriated less than two months

327
after the first candidate was repatriated, and

employed to do maintenance work. He was

considered for the maintenance work based on

his fair reports from the school.

Oluwaseyi did just enough to retain

himself in the course. Bear in mind how late he

joined the class. He made successful solo

flights, which his flight instructor described as

“Great Job.” He completed his training

successfully and was awarded flying licenses of

various grades by The Federal Aviation

Administration of the United States of

328
America. Mission accomplished! End of

perhaps the most anxious wait of my life!

HE STOOPED TO CONQUER

Oluwaseyi overcame the challenges he

was confronted with in what is yet the most

uncertain time anyone dear to me has ever

faced in life. He is a great son, deserving

commendation. He narrated his experiences on

some sensitive and potentially costly issues

during the training. I felt it was inappropriate

to mention a particular issue but I will mention

it.
329
 We blacks are perhaps paying more

attention to racial prejudice than necessary.

Why should we give fellow human beings so

much power over us; to control us by hurting

our feelings, thus making us react in ways that

hinder us from attaining our goals? This is

what happened to Oluwaseyi and his colleagues

during the training. Oluwaseyi handled it well

but his colleagues stumble at it!

Oluwaseyi had not been using

deodorants. To this very day he does not fancy

deodorants, and would not use it other than to

make everybody else comfortable. His

330
Instructor started to complain that he was

stinking in the cockpit. Oluwaseyi did not take

it serious at first. But the gravity of the

complaints weighed in over a few weeks. On a

typical two hour training flight the Instructor

would talk to Oluwaseyi about his body odor

two or more times. The remarks started to

make him feel aberrant around the Instructor,

but he could not share it with anyone.

The Instructor of the third lad had to

travel and the school decided the lad should

train with Oluwaseyi's Instructor in the

meantime. This lad, unlike my son, was using

331
deodorants. Notwithstanding, Oluwaseyi's

Instructor started to complain bitterly that he,

too, was reeking malodorously in the cockpit.

The lad could not hide his feelings on the

matter. He felt insulted in a way he had never

been insulted before. He explained the

situation to Oluwaseyi, lamenting and

regretting ever having flown with Oluwaseyi's

Instructor. He decided he would not fly with

Oluwaseyi's Instructor henceforth.

The situation flared and it became an

issue in which the management of the school

had to intervene. Oluwaseyi and the third lad

332
were called into a discussion in which

Oluwaseyi's Instructor was present. But

Oluwaseyi knew it was a no-win situation for

him and his Nigerian compatriot! Accordingly,

the management of the school pleaded with

both of them for understanding, saying they

had the option of discontinuing their training

with the Instructor who had been complaining

so much about body odor. That was a tough

decision to make bearing in mind the shortage

of Flight Instructors in the school at the time.

Oluwaseyi requested to dialogue with his

Instructor on the matter.

333
 Oluwaseyi requested from the Instructor

the specific brand of deodorant that would

make him feel comfortable flying with him. He

got the deodorant and carried it in his

navigation bag, applying it as many times as

necessary on every flight. That was the get-

your-goal kind of virtue; it was the key to his

successful completion of the flying training!

The training progressed with the “racially

prejudiced” Instructor. He made every effort to

help Oluwaseyi succeed following this most

diplomatic resolution of the problem that

threatened the cordiality of the relationship

between them. Had Oluwaseyi not trod this

334
most diplomatic path he, too, would most

certainly have been repatriated.

The third lad on the other hand felt so

insulted and hard done by that he decided he

would not fly with Oluwaseyi's Instructor

forthwith. Oluwaseyi alerted him to the

shortage of Instructors in the school and the

fact that they were already running behind

schedule in their training. Besides, “We should

not expect to be the victor in this situation,”

Oluwaseyi told his compatriot.

Regardless, the lad upheld his decision to

not fly with Oluwaseyi's Instructor, saying, “I

335
will never take such an insult.” In the final

analysis, the Instructor who travelled never

returned to the school. He got a better job

elsewhere. Oluwaseyi’s compatriot did not have

an Instructor for two months; during which he

was grounded. He did not train. That gap

proved decisive in the termination of his flying

career. A progress report indicated he was way

behind, and his employer called him back

home.

Whereas the same Instructor who was

badly offended by their repulsive body odors

helped Oluwaseyi to succeed, the other lad did

336
not make it. Oluwaseyi used the deodorant

prescribed for him and completed his training

with the Instructor without further issues. As

of this witting, Oluwaseyi still communicates

with the Instructor on Yahoo and Facebook.

Whether the Instructor was sincere in his

complaints about body odor or he meant

otherwise is vague. The certain thing is that he

trained Oluwaseyi, taking him through his

anxious bid to become a pilot!

FOCUSING ON THE GOALS

337
 I enjoin the reader to be humble and to

put his mind on the noble things he sets out to

accomplish in life. Even when the need arises

to stoop low or withstand humiliation to

conquer, brave it! Accept whatever way you are

treated in your bid to achieve noble objectives.

There are distractions that one must ignore in

most instances to succeed. You can always

overcome emotions and hurtful feelings.

Accept hardship as discipline, endure affliction

and suffering. Be ready to do without your self-

esteem in life. 2Timothy 2: 3. It is usually for a

short while!

338
 If you are humiliated and made to look

silly and irrelevant, accept it as discipline.

Oluwaseyi must have learnt that from the word

of God. I am happy he remembered to apply it

at the time he most needed to! He endured all

sorts to achieve his noble objective of being a

pilot. He held on tenaciously on the same

ground on which his colleagues were assessed

and reckoned as inadequate.

I suppose the lad who made the

offending utterance that Oluwaseyi was feeling

insecure and backed the other's decision to not

fly with Oluwaseyi's Instructor did forget

339
where he was coming from. He was carried

away by where he was, and where he would be

in a year's time. He started counting his gains

before the fullness of time; and, he sought to

pull others along as he was shown the way out.

“What a traveler will do upon arriving his

destination is not as important as arriving

safely. Every traveler must focus on his

journey, exercise caution, drive carefully; to

ensure safe arrival at the destination. Then the

merrymaking and celebration can begin” –

Oluwaseyi. Well thought out, isn't it?

340
 The same candidate who uttered the

offending remark offered the wrong advice to

the third candidate. Both of them did not

complete their training. He was accused of

calling his Instructor a stupid man after a sortie

during which the Instructor lamented his

relapse. He was downright witless, shiftless! It

is not known if the young man knows God's

word at all! The Psalmist wrote, “Your word is

a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

Psalm 119:105. Those who know God's words

do not go wrong and lead others astray.

Further details of his misdemeanors are

341
unnecessary; I will not bother the reader about

them. A word is enough for the wise!

According to reports I have been hearing,

Oluwaseyi has been setting unprecedented

records for his colleagues at work. He flew the

S76 for two years over the Atlantic in the Gulf

of Guinea, where adverse weather condition

often makes flying very challenging. He was the

first Nigerian Pilot to be type-rated on the S92

after only one thousand two hundred and fifty

hours total flying time. He got the S92 type-

rating on merit. He worked hard and was

recommended to fly the S92, an aircraft

342
coveted by pilots with vast flying experience.

Both the S76 and S92 are highly sophisticated

and versatile machines. If operated safely they

are capable of reaching where other airplanes

cannot reach and doing what other airplanes

cannot do. They are great fun to fly!

Oluwaseyi is today an inspiration to

students in schools and youths in churches. He

shares his experiences every time he is invited

for talks or seminars. He advocates discipline,

hard work and commitment. His profile has

risen dramatically in the last few years. It is the

Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous to me!

343
 11
THE FLYING

PROFESSION

344
 ANSWERS TO SAFETY CONCERNS

Could Oluwaseyi have hurt himself

during his initial training as a pilot? Categorical

yes, I say! People die learning to fly airplanes.

Scores of Nigerians die learning to fly in

various places around the world.

The ambition to become pilots is a

question, turned like a fishing hook in the

hearts of some parents. One thing I have learnt

in life is, in every step we take as humans, we

have roles to play and God has roles to play.

As I acknowledge God that Oluwaseyi finished

his training successfully and is doing well today;

345
I commiserate with the families of all those

who die learning to fly aircrafts!

Student pilots rarely die in circumstantial

accidents. These are accidents resulting from

catastrophic failure of aircraft components.

Most accidents involving student pilots are

attributable to inexperience, a situation in

which a perfectly serviceable airplane is flown

into the ground, trees or other terrain; often

caused by “hot and high” condition,

disorientation or pilot induced malfunction of

aircraft systems. Precautions are put in place by

346
aviation schools around the world to mitigate

the risks.

There is the saying “The best safety

equipment in any cockpit is a properly trained

pilot.” Oluwaseyi underwent exhaustive drills

and became familiar with the dangers before

his Instructor eventually released him for his

solo flight. He benefitted a great deal from

ground based training devices that simulate

flight characteristics in various regimes before

he attempted maneuvers in Instrument

Metrological Conditions. Instrument

Metrological Conditions (IMC) is when pilots

347
rely entirely on Flight Instruments to orientate

the aircraft in space.

Adverse weather conditions encountered

in flight are responsible for various tragic

accidents involving even experienced pilots.

Lately a passenger carrying aircraft routed from

Brazil to Europe encountered adverse weather

over the Atlantic Ocean and everyone onboard

perished. Experienced pilots are caught

unawares by adverse weather as often as

student pilots are.

In emergency situations the margin for

error is narrow or none-existent. Regulatory

348
Authorities around the world now take

meteorological issues serious with aircraft

operators. Pilots are prohibited to operate in

known adverse weather conditions throughout

the world. This explains why the Veteran Pilot

drilled Oluwaseyi about the Inter-Tropical

Convergence Zone and associated weather

phenomenon during his interview. The storms

associated with the ITCZ are a threat to flying

over the Gulf of Guinea, where Oluwaseyi has

flown for half a decade now.

The design and construction of airframes

and aero engines in recent years have attained

349
very high level of reliability. Mechanical

systems have been replaced with smart

electromechanical and digital electronic

devices. Pneumatic engine controls have been

replaced with Full Authority Digital Engine

Controls, FADEC.

The information presented on Flight

Instruments in the cockpit is fed from solid

state devices with minimal or no moving parts.

Modern aircrafts are redundant and reliably.

More and more attention is given to proper

training of pilots hired to operate and monitor

aircraft systems.

350
 The aviation industry has witnessed

tremendous development lately. Throughout

the designated service life of an airplane failure

of flight critical components hardly occur,

provided the maintenance manual and

operating limitations specified by the

manufacturer are complied with.

In other words, safety is largely

dependent on the pilot’s judgment and decision

making. An aircraft is only as reliable as the

weakest of its numerous systems; which is the

pilot if not properly trained! This is why pilot

351
training is perhaps the most regulated practice

in the world today.

Properly trained pilots do salvage

situations that could be catastrophic, simply by

doing what they are trained to do. There are

laid down procedures to follow in the unlikely

event that emergencies are encountered in

flight. Every aircraft has a type specific

Emergency Operating Procedure (EOP)

onboard for use in most emergency situations.

The EOP is type-set, colour coded, printed in

legible characters and situated such that it is

352
immediately available to pilots when they have

recourse to it.

Modern aircrafts have redundancy built

into them. For instance, an aircraft with two

engines can “limp” home safely on one engine.

Aircrafts are equipped with dual controls.

Onboard flight computers are also in

duplicates. Each aircraft model passes stringent

tests before being approved for commercial

operations.

This is to say if a system suddenly fails an

aircraft with properly trained crew is not

doomed! In the S92 for instance, no desperate

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action is required from the pilots if one of the

two engines suddenly fails in fully coupled

cruise flight. The FADEC automatically sets

maximum continuous power on the other

engine and maintains the flight path of the

aircraft until it becomes necessary for the pilots

to intervene. How cool!

The S92 is also equipped with dual flight

controls and three independent hydraulic

systems, each capable of fully deflecting the

controls and lifting surfaces. Health and Usage

Monitoring Devices that report maintenance

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requirements and impending failures well in

advance have also being introduced.

Radio, computer and radar technologies

make it possible for ground-based air traffic

control stations to know the exact position of

every airplane at any point in time. The

airplanes themselves carry Traffic Collision

Avoidance System (TCAS) and Weather Radar.

These devices help pilots detect and steer clear

of other traffic and areas of turbulence and

adverse weather.

There is safety in the air, and decisions

that ensure the defenses are not compromised

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are made on the ground! By monitoring the

“health”, the progression of wear and tear in

moving parts of the airplane, pilots determine

the airworthiness of airplanes. The decision to

fly or to not fly is easy. I am not worried about

Oluwaseyi's safety. I feel secured!

Pilots are trained to be crafty. They equip

themselves with contingency plans in the event

that things go contrary to plans. Though

Oluwaseyi has had to handle adverse weather

and emergencies as a result of which he had to

divert, I believe he is safe!

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 Provided precautions are taken and laid

down procedures followed, emergencies teach

pilots valuable lessons that are impossible to

forget. As Oluwaseyi gains more experience he

will be a safer pilot. I expect him to be more

confident in the years ahead.

In summary, the risks associated with

flying can be mitigated. It is a noble profession!

THE BEAUTY OF BEING A PILOT

In addition to being an esteemed

profession, being a pilot is a ticket to the world.

As of today, Oluwaseyi has had the

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opportunity to visit places I never dreamt of.

He has dined with princes and princesses. He

has visited the most beautiful cities and the

busiest airports in the world. He has flown in

the largest commercial passenger jets. The only

instance he has been denied VISA was that

prior to his initial training. Ever since all VISA

applications he makes are granted, promptly.

The profession opens doors of career

opportunities. Pilots can diversify into

managerial roles in the aviation or aerospace

industry. They are precious assets for aircraft

manufacturers and astronomical research

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centers. A handful of them also end up with

the bureau of air accident investigation or

meteorological departments. Air traffic control

stations, air space management agencies and

civil aviation authorities among others also

employ them at various stages of the flying

career.

Pilots are also coveted by oil companies.

They price them away from flying and employ

them as aviation advisers. In fact the majority

of pilots want to end up as aviation advisers

because that is the peak of it. A pilot can also

work as expert in countries other than his/her

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country of birth. It is thus relatively easy for

pilots to become citizens of other countries.

It may also interest the reader that it does

not take a whole lot more than it takes to

succeed in other professions to be a successful

pilot. For instance, the school where Oluwaseyi

trained in Florida has successfully trained

carpenters, mechanics and the likes; of which

some eventually became flight instructors.

More pilots will be required than are trained in

the near future because the most experienced

hands in the cockpits today are due to retire

within the next few years. If you have the

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resources and you feel like it, venture to learn

how to fly. I think it is a profession that is

highly rewarding for those who are disciplined.

LIFE AFTER FLYING

The question, “What happens the day the

employer says, 'Sorry, I cannot pay your wage

anymore?'”, applies to every career man or

woman. Pilots are often faced with a grimmer

reality.

It is regulatory requirement for every

pilot to visit the aero-medical examiner every

six months, during which the pilot undergoes

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total examination. It is not uncommon for

pilots to lose their flying licenses to medical

conditions that develop in-between successive

examinations. There are terminal health

problems that prohibit people from active

flying duties. And, when that happens, the

flying career effectively ends. This is the reality

a huge number of pilots have had to face at

various stages of the flying career. So, in

addition to the mandatory retirement age of

sixty five, health problems also force pilots into

retirement. It is therefore expedient for

everyone in this highly esteemed profession to

brace for life after flying!

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 Who, then, is a wise pilot? A wise pilot is

the one who starts preparing for life after flying

the very day he/she steps into the cockpit.

Though the boundless opportunities that await

pilots at the end of the flying career have been

mentioned, health related problems can rule

anybody out of active duty at anytime. This is a

situation no one hopes for, but it is often the

fate of many! This is why pilots must spend

their productive years wisely.

As with professionals in other fields of

human life, pilots must be prudent in spending

their earnings, invest wisely and make the most

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of their flying years. The flying profession

affords a lot of holidays, during which the wise

ones engage in other productive activities and

plan adequately for the future. I am of the

opinion that one should not fly for half a

decade and be penniless in the event that the

unfortunate happens.

Oluwaseyi does not buy everything that

appeal to the eye. I want the reader to take a

cue from this. It does not matter your

profession and how much you earn, the key to

financial independence is not spending

everything. In addition to not spending

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everything smart people spend and invest

wisely. By choosing what you buy carefully you

will be able to turn them to cash when you do

not need them anymore.

Additionally, until you get to that stage in

your life that you, too, become an employer of

labour, big time; you have not arrived at all!

This is one thing I did not achieve, but, I

strongly believe Oluwaseyi is determined to. It

is better to opt out of work than to be told,

“Sorry, your services are no longer required!”

when you are least prepared. Hope for the best,

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prepare for the worst! Only that which is good

will be your lot by the grace of God!

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 12
HALLMARKS
OF
ACHIEVEMENTS

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 ABIDE IN CHRIST

Without Christ man can do nothing! As

taking the right steps at every stage in one's life

is at the center of the quest to excel, so is

abiding in Christ. Be saved! Accept Jesus Christ

as your Lord and Savior and call it quit with

sin, Satan and evil deeds. Now is the appointed

time! Only then can you outdo the enemy,

overcome temptations and preserve the

benefits and grace of God. Study John 3.

TIMING AND PLANNING

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 It is critical for every man/woman to

know what is required of him/her to do; and to

know the appropriate time to do it. Timing is a

critical factor to every enterprise humans

embark upon. The timing of our actions and

inactions shape our lives. Focus on important

things. Always think and plan ahead rather than

having to do things as afterthoughts! Satan

targets every misguided footstep to perform his

impious enterprise. Taking steps as

afterthoughts can spoil your chances to excel.

SELF-DENIAL

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 It was understandable Oluwaseyi did not

have the means to live lavished or exuberant

life. But he made deliberate effort to deny self

even when the situation was conducive for him

to “enjoy life.” The reader must be able to set

goals and define time boundaries to achieve the

goals. I do not think anything is more

important than this.

Addiction to TV and Internet is not

helpful in any circumstance. The use of TV and

Internet must be restricted to gathering

essential information and other constructive

use. No more than that! The reader must form

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this habit. Same is true of the use of Mobile

Phones, iPods, iPads, Xboxes, PlayStations and

a host of others. “With iPods, iPads, Xboxes,

PlayStations – none of which I know how to

work – information becomes a distraction, a

diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than

a tool of empowerment, rather than the means

of emancipation.” – President Barack Obama,

Hampton University Commencement Speech, May 10,

2010.

DETERMINATION

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 Enough has been said on this but it

cannot be over emphasized. Determination is

finding no excuses or reasons (no matter how

appealing the excuses or reasons are) for not

accomplishing what one has taken the step to

accomplish. Imagine all the reasons why

Oluwaseyi should have discontinued flying. If

he had failed and had been repatriated in those

circumstances no one would blame him.

To start with, he was demoralized having

to wait for three months when he had to

reapply for VISA. He joined the class very late.

Imagine how the remarks that he was stinking

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in the cockpit would make you feel if you were

in his shoes! Everything was in place for him to

forfeit the opportunity to become a pilot like

the two other Nigerians in the school.

Oluwaseyi did enough to succeed against the

odds. He was determined!

HEEDING INSTRUCTIONS

Oluwaseyi heeded the instruction to

enroll for the sciences. Nothing his father

could do if he did not comply with the

instruction. Oluwaseyi was all by himself in

school. His father was a living dead at the time,

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totally paralyzed. He probably knew he was

going to die!

I commend Oluwaseyi for heeding that

particular instruction, which turned out to be

the most important instruction his father gave

him. Oluwaseyi went away from the hospital

feeling sad that day; but, he complied with the

stringent instruction. Compliance is the key

thing here! He will be reaping the benefits of

choosing to comply with the instruction for the

rest of his life!

DISCRETION AND DISCERNMENT

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 Discretion is knowing what is right and

doing it regardless of what everyone else is

doing. It is the ability to judge situations

correctly and abide by the judgments even if

one is disapproved of by the majority of

people. Whereas the second lad decided to not

fly with Oluwaseyi’s Instructor, Oluwaseyi

adopted a diplomatic approach to resolve the

problem. He appeared stupid to the other

Nigerians. This is easier said than done! Doing

what everybody else is doing even if it is the

wrong thing is no big deal. Oluwaseyi judged

the situation correctly. The outcome of his

decision vindicated him.

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 I am particularly grateful to God for

giving me such a discerning son! Discernment

is going past the mere perception of

something, to making detailed judgments about

it. Oluwaseyi is always down-to-earth with

himself. I do not imply he knows everything. It

is beyond man to have knowledge of

everything! Oluwaseyi asks questions, which

indicates he does not know everything. He

sometimes makes mistakes, which indicates he

is human. He takes responsibility for his

actions and seeks advice from credible people.

The emphasis is that Oluwaseyi does not do

anything simply because it is appealing,

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comfortable, or because that is what everybody

else is doing.

As a virtue, a discerning individual

possess wisdom, is of good judgment;

especially so with regard to subject matter

often overlooked by others. 1Corinthians 6: 12,

“All things are lawful for me, but all things are

not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I

will not be brought under the power of any.”

Discretion, it is the better part of valor!

TENACITY AND COURAGE

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 Tenacity is taking a firm position about

what one has decided to do. It is to be resolved

to achieve something. It is putting more and

more efforts into what one believes in. To be

tenacious in one's spirit is to know that every

noble thing the human heart has ever wished

for will be attained, regardless of how

impracticable such thing might appear. To be

tenacious is to keep pursuing, fighting, praying

and taking decisive steps towards achieving

noble objectives until such objectives are

realized. It is giving everything and applying

oneself to achieve something.

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 Oluwaseyi is daring to have faced some

of the situations he has faced in life. He was

always taking bold steps in the face of the

tempest. He often stepped right where the

storms of life were raging the most. He was

never startled to take on challenging

opportunities. That is courage. He would then

do everything necessary to achieve his goal. His

attitude is, “If I perish in the process of doing

this, I perish.” Esther 4:16. It is dignifying to

die fighting for what is noble, rather than to

give in, resign to fate and concede failure.

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 DECISION MAKING

Be the one in charge of your own affairs.

It is true that human beings depend one on

another to get through everyday situations. But

when it comes to making key decisions, don't

depend entirely on others. Source information

from people who have been through similar

situations and make informed decisions! Hold

on to counsels that are workable and true, not

just “every damn thing.” Humans can mislead

as easily as they can offer invaluable counsels.

Stop dabbling into things. Ask questions; ask

380
people who can supply the right answers.

Always seek to know. Knowledge is power!

Learn to analyze situations without

prejudice. Do not allow anyone to push you

into action when you are not comfortable with

the foreseeable outcome. Likewise, do not

allow yourself to be deterred when you have

identified something noble to pursue. You

must engage yourself in making life's key

decisions, and be ready to take responsibility

for the consequences. Stop shifting blame on

others. Learn to take charge of situations. I

believe God will not permit you to go wrong if

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you pray and are honest! The decision making

process must take into cognizance every factor

that can affect the outcome of subsequent

actions and inactions.

COGNITIVE FOCUS

Oluwaseyi possesses the ability to

concentrate on certain things while ignoring

others completely. This particular quality has

helped him a lot. He hates to abandon tasks

unaccomplished. He keeps his goal before him.

Cognitive focus is perhaps more

important than any man ever thinks it is. The

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power of focus can be seen in light. Diffused

light has very little impact. The impact of light

is strongly felt when its energy is concentrated

by focusing it. With a magnifying glass the

energy of sun rays can be focused to set things

ablaze.

In fact, if focused as in laser beam, light

cuts through steel in an instance. There is no

strategy quite as potent as to be focused.

Oluwaseyi often ignores food to concentrate

on tasks. He delights in meeting his schedules

and beating his deadlines. He likes to

accomplish tasks with time to spare. He does

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not get along with people who while away time

or love pleasure more than essentials. He is a

highly focused individual who places so much

emphasis on time management!

EDUCATION

“My son, hear the instruction of your

father, and do not forsake the law of your

mother. For they will be a graceful ornament

on your head and chains about your neck.”

Proverb 1: 8 & 9, Proverb 4: 1, Proverb 6: 20.

It ultimately says, “So they will be life to your

soul and grace to your neck.” Proverb 3: 22.

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The universal instruction parents give their

children is the need to be educated. Following

is a list of all words that can be used

interchangeably with 'Instruction': Teaching,

Training, Lesson, Tuition, Education,

Coaching, Tutoring and Order. Obedience to

parents cannot be over emphasized!

Disobedience to parents is damnable. See 2

Timothy 3: 1 & 2.

If you have responsible parents, take full

advantage! Wise up and get education! Not all

prodigal sons/daughters return home to meet

their parents alive and well. Both parents may

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even be alive and well but the means no longer

there. “… For riches certainly make themselves

wings; They fly away like an eagle toward

heaven.” Proverbs 23:5. It is better to learn

from record and heed instruction than to wait

until one learns from experience. Even though

experience is adjudged the best teacher;

learning from experience has never been a

palatable way to learn.

Make the most of the opportunity to

learn! Work hard at your education and make

your parents splash all the money on you!

Education is the greatest legacy you can inherit

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from them. Look beyond the estates,

businesses or whatever investments they have

for now. Seek to grow up and be responsible.

The resources put into the acquisition of

knowledge are in savings, available to be drawn

on at any instance in a lifetime. With education

you are in a win-win situation. My experience

with my surviving children makes me believe

Education is the greatest legacy.

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 13
PARTING

WORD

388
 MY REGRETS

I regret that my husband is not alive to

see the stern words he spoke to his son on his

hospital bed mature to reality. He wanted a

Doctor or an Engineer, but, I am doubly sure

he would have been delighted having a Pilot. I

regret that the translated man agreed to be

taken to odd places in search of healing. The

family members wanted it that way. It

remained for him to say no, but he did not! I

regret the death of the two male children. Who

knows if things would have turned out for

them even better than for Oluwaseyi?

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 Better still, I praise the name of the Lord

that my husband sought forgiveness before he

was taken away. I also bless God that I have

something to cheer despite the daunting

challenges I was faced with in marriage and in

the village. God is good. He preserves me and

makes good things happen in my lifetime. He

fills me with the joy of the Holy Spirit, so

much I cry Abba Father!!! Galatians 4:6. Even

if the sun were to set upon me today, in it the

name of the Lord will be glorified. Ultimately,

the regrets pale into insignificance!

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 MIRACLE COVENANT

Everybody who buys, reads and presents

copies of ‘The Miracle Boy’ to families and

homes as gifts, good things will not cease in

your lineage. My covenant concerning this

book is that God will wrought greater things

than he performed in my life in the life of

everybody who buys and uses it for the

intended noble purposes. I have not enough

space in my diary to write the testimonies I

have received of what God has done in families

and homes through the instrumentation of this

book anymore. God be praised!

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 HIGHEST CALLING

My perseverance, the hardships I endured

and the hopes I entertained paid off. Above

and beyond, there is something of superior

sort. One thing supersedes all else; the

Kingdom of God and the reign of His Dear

Son, Jesus Christ, the First in Creation and the

Last in Retribution. I sacrificed my all to secure

my children for a great future. Much more

rewarding it will be, when, come, the Glorious

Day I earn a place in the Kingdom of God!

The city above, I am fixated on it. I strive and

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take steps towards it daily. The allure of it is

too endearing for me to resist. Dear Lord,

remove anything that will hinder or disqualify

me from my path, I pray Thee!

PARTING WORD

I am in the twilight of my days. The pinks

and yellows of sunrise that greeted me with

warmth and friendliness at daybreak and shone

brilliantly on my path at noon are fast fading

into nightfall! In my prime I savored the rising

of the sun in the east.

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 The living daylights afforded me the

opportunity to maneuver my way through the

uneven terrain leading to where I am today. To

relish the sun today I must look westward

where it sets. How time flies! As I behold the

sun sink steadily below the horizon, I reflect on

every moment of a busy life, a life full of

activities. I am content at the way God has

rewarded my efforts.

On this valedictory note I am quitting

this excursion with the reader across the tidal

front my children and I sailed through.

Oluwaseyi and Oluwafunmilayo send their

394
kindest regards! Extend our greetings to your

loved ones. Having arrived shore and made a

safe landing, God be praised! Grant my request

to leave now, I beseech you! Farewell!

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