“The Humor Seduction

Guidebook”
Exclusive add-on bonus to ConversationalSeduction™

By Colin Simone
Copyright © Colin Simone. All Rights Reserved.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE. You do not have permission to reproduce or transmit this publication
by any means – including emailing, recording and photocopying. This copy is illegal if obtained
elsewhere apart from ConversationalSeduction.com or at any other websites which have received
written consent from the publisher to distribute this publication. This is NOT a free report.
F
irst, allow me to point out a vital fact that comes with this particular book: this
wasn't written for entertainment. (Interesting, huh? A book about humor that isn't
actually filled with humor. Hmm.)

I have done my absolute best to get rid of any fluff that would otherwise exist for entertainment
purposes or to make the book seem thicker or longer.

My wish is to give you the proper mentality while reading this book. This wasn't meant as a
leisure bedtime read nor as an anecdote-filled book. If you want to read for leisure, surf the
World Wide Web instead.

You need to get a lot from the time that you spend reading this book and I promise to make each
word worth your time. I do not want to waste time in making you read paragraphs filled with
useless information.

You simply need some powerful, proven tactics and tricks, which you can get out there and
immediately use them.

Basically, this book is condensed with a ton of experience, tried-and-true tactics, and research,
and it is your choice to either skim it or carefully read each page in order to get what you want
from it.

This book definitely isn't about theory. It was made to change you for the better. It was made to
work instead of to entertain. Several exercises in here might involve mental practices that might
sound a bit strange in the beginning, but you need to trust me here.

Do everything that I say and keep in mind that the more you do, the more you will get out of it.

And of course: use these techniques in conjunction with the ConversationalSeduction™

program, and you will reap the maximum rewards.

Now enough dilly dally… let’s get on it!

There’s Only A Handful of Jokes Out There

Naturally, humor isn't just about telling joke after joke. You might feel overwhelmed because of
the ton of jokes that exist out there, the majority of which are lame and dry. You might wonder
how you can go through them all to find several great ones that can make women laugh.

Well, truth be told: there are only a handful of global jokes out there. Now, what does this mean?

This means that there are merely several original joke models and archetypes out there. With
only several joke formulas and simple humor elements, however, we can make various joke
categories.

You have probably heard this one: "How many [insert here] are needed to change a lightbulb?"
You can insert "lawyers", "mathematicians", "doctors", or "policemen" in there, or any other
profession, really. That is an example of a simple joke formula.

Another example would be "pacing". You might have come across jokes that illustrated a
tragedy of three particular men: a hapless man, a more unlucky man, and an even more extreme
man. This would be another simple joke formula.

Why aren't 2, 4 or 5 men used, you ask? It's simple: 3 is the "golden number" when it comes to
jokes. It’s as simple as that.

Humor Characters

Each Woman Needs a Different Strategy

Even though only several jokes exist in today's world, you still have to adopt various humor
styles to get different women to laugh at your jokes… and fall for you.

Marketing 101 states that you have to completely understand a certain market's needs and give
that market a relevant solution.

On a similar note, when trying to attract women with your humor, you need to design various
funny personas in order to make different kinds of women laugh on their own way. Now, several
ways exist in which you can make women laugh, but there is only one that will be extremely
effective. Each woman needs a different strategy, after all.
Be a Certain Character

Despite education and culture influences, women can be adventurous, too.

Every woman has a wanton self and her only wish is to meet a whole variety of men.

Alright, so maybe this doesn't apply to every woman out there, but it holds true for most hot
babes. It’s true.

Women prefer men who have dramatic aspects to their personalities (and they can be quite
dramatic themselves), so they prefer men who can entertain and act.

This is why you have to be a certain character.

The most vital thing to remember is to stay in character for a while. If you want to play serious,
do not smile a lot (it will spoil the character). If you want to stay in character, you have to let
your looks, catch phrases, and gesture matches your role consistently.

If you're talking to a hot babe that is used to getting her way all the time with men, it would be
smart to act a bit arrogant for a while. Do not smile unless completely necessary.

You can either choose a character or a profile that you are already comfortable with or one that
you'd like to try out. Try being the secretive guy tonight, for example - the spy that seven rogue
countries are chasing after.

Naturally, this doesn't mean you should be a jerk and pretend to be an actual spy. You simply
have to assume a spy's persona (be mysteriously attractive but have a good sense of humor at the
same time). And please do not say you're a spy. You can say it as a joke, but don't be too lame.

The secret is to stay playful.

It might be smart to sometimes show her through your tone of voice, body language and facial
expressions that you are only playing. She may even play with you and if she does,
congratulations!

What other choices do you have, then?

Joke Teller
The Joke Teller is the kind of guy who has a ton of jokes up his sleeve. Any subject.

He finds everything funny in some way. He is always laughing and can get people to laugh with
him with ease.

The Aggressor

The kind of guy who constantly makes fun of others, but not of themselves.

Sometimes, they can be a little abusive, and several women actually like that!

The Stupid Guy

Several benefits come with faking stupidity, and a lot of ways exist in which to do this.

One especially funny way would be to use malapropisms - wrong, twisted, and funny use of
language, usually with contradictions like "FYI, I want to ask a question", "One word: no!", "The
place is so full; no one goes there anymore", or "There is one problem with other countries: they
are filled with foreigners". If you watch the TV show Friends, Joey Tribbiani would be a typical
stupid guy.

You can sometimes use the wrong word in an absurd way, and it works effective. For instance: "I
have to consecrate on what I'm reading" (concentrate), "He is the pineapple of success"
(pinnacle), "He needed a fire distinguisher" (fire extinguisher). Or get the impossible together
with "Listen slowly", "Go to the funeral or he won't go to yours", "Take your time, but do it
fast".

Faking stupidity could be effective, too: "I'd like to win 90 or 100 games - whichever comes
first", "I kept thinking that record would be there until somebody breaks it".

Not a lot of people commit stupid mistakes like this, which is what will make your statements
even funnier.

The Wise Guy

Look around and see how many people act like a wise guy: "It's not over until it's over", "I'll see
you whenever I see you next", "We aren't where we are at the moment", "You can see a lot by
watching alone", "I didn't say all of what just came out of my mouth."

It can be real wisdom sometimes: "When I was fifteen, I couldn't stand having my old ignorant
father around. When I turned 21, I was surprised at how much 6 years brought to the table,
though."

The Nerd

This role doesn't entail you to be playful anymore. These kinds of guys are normally making fun
of themselves. (I will explain this further in "picking your target".)

They constantly talk in a straight tone, even while talking about painful yet strange experiences,
whether made-up or true while seeming completely detached and objective at the same time. For
instance: "I shared my sexual experiences to a friend who's a software company owner. He
turned them into a game."

Story Teller

If you have a lot of absurd or funny stories up your sleeve, go ahead. By doing this, you can
establish an alpha male presence.

Alpha Male

The Discovery Channel showcases this. A lot of species have dominant males who own every
female in their group, while other males don't get any. A lot of males cannot become alpha
males.

Sometimes, you might know guys that dominate the group. Even more often, you will see a
woman chilling with a guy and ending up with him because he is an alpha male and all the other
guys are more submissive.

Alpha males know that people - especially women - want to be around him, so he won't be afraid
to meet new people and have conversations with these people. He never worries about what other
people might think and takes control of each situation with complete authority. You will hear
him shelling out stories - one after the other.

He is aware that being in a group of males and females will make the females be with him and
everything else will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Alpha males are usually funnier and can make other people laugh.

Several women do not like these talkative guys, though, because they see them as egotistic.
However, I have personally come to find that the majority of women would prefer to meet
somebody in a club who can tell a lot of anecdotes and jokes.

You simply need to be careful of something: do not tell jokes or stories, just to talk. If your
stories are merely streams of short parts that flow out whenever something pops into your head,
you might easily get a woman confused, most of all if she has alcohol in her system.

Basically, do not deliver a funny story potpourri. Instead, arrange reasonable sequences and do
what you can to stick to one common theme.

Talk Show Host, Comedian, Actor

Actors use their body language, facial expressions and voice to make people laugh. You need to
do the same to women. If you already are somebody with great facial contortions and dynamic
body language, that's great! If you aren't, though, you may want to practice a little bit.

Practice in the mirror. Make faces. Wink at your reflection. (This isn't silly.) Test things out on
yourself to see which acts are comical and inoffensive at the same time.

Voice quality would also be vital for comedians and actors. You have to master speed variation,
tone variation and quality variation when it comes to your voice. Practice through a recording.
Record your pickup lines, for example.

Serious Guy

You could act offended sometimes, in order to trick her into apologizing. That would be the
perfect time to make her laugh by surprising her. In the majority of cases, she will laugh to get
rid of the tension - a natural human response.

Impersonator
By copying people you know or people who are famous, you won't just get her to laugh, but you
will also get her to appreciate your special skills and creativity.

The majority of men fail to realize their flair for imitation. At a young age, we are taught that
making fun of people is bad, which is why we stop ourselves from copying others. However, it is
very easy and the truth is: the majority of us do it every now and then. Do you remember a time
when you copied somebody you didn't like? Haven't you ever made fun of an annoying actress or
irritating salesman by copying their mannerisms?

Learn several new accents, too. This may require practice, though. You might want to pick
several accents and favorite actors to add to your repertoire.

If your accent or character imitation can make women laugh, you will score - big-time.

Fortune Teller, Magician, Juggler

Magic simply fascinates women. In my case, it never fails. Even simple tricks always make
women laugh - when handled properly, anyway. They will always bug you ("How was that
done?") if you don't tell them how you did it. So never let your tricks be known.

Additionally, a lot of women believe in fate. So if you know about astrology or palm-reading
(they can be learned in a single afternoon), why not make women laugh with it? You can just
crack a joke while reading their palms, too. Try this: "So… You have a long life. You will live
longer than a week, for sure. Your fortune says you aren't rich - otherwise you wouldn't be
wasting your time here - and the line of our heart says that you will believe everything I say."

This is the boldest I have done myself (and I wouldn't recommend it): "This line is the blowjob
line. Guess what that tells me?"

How To Piece Things Together

You should be able to see by now that there are merely several humor characters and jokes in
today's day and age. On that same note, there are only several simple humor tactics out there, as
well.

Know that in magic, bigger illusions are usually just combination of basic tricks.

That is what making women laugh is like. Remember that as you delve into certain humor tactics
in the upcoming chapters. You put basic things together to make wonders. So, treat every basic
tactic of humor that I will show you as an entire package of combined factors.

After mastering all of these tactics, you can then create your very own humor style with the
humor-building blocks whenever you want to.

Find the Proper Target

After finding the proper target to make jokes about or the subject that she thinks is funny, you
have already made it halfway through.

Make Personal Fun

This isn't very surprising, is it? The safest and most appreciated kind of humor is the self-
depreciating kind - in a positive manner, anyway. Why is that? Well, it is the subject that is the
least offensive and it shows women how easygoing you are. It also comes with a lot of other
benefits.

By the Reciprocity Rule, she will soon show you her own world and make fun of herself, as well.
This means that you are already much closer than you originally were.

The Reciprocity Rule

The Reciprocity Rule applies in every culture and says that when somebody gives you
something, you have to return that favor. This rule succeeded more in societies that had binding
mechanisms since give-and-take was advantageous to the people's success and survival there.
This is because it created obligation bonds in people.

One highly potent weapon of influence today would be the reciprocation rule. It says that we
have to repay what other people have given us in kind.

Try some brainstorming right now.

Get some paper and list your strengths and weaknesses, along with anything interesting that
might have happened recently. I am pretty sure you will find at least a dozen jokes this way -
with ease.

Seriously. Don't put things off. Write these down now.

Women in Groups

You may come to notice that women in groups don't respond very well to humor sometimes.
This can be attributed to social proof.

See, if a woman favorably reacts to you far too soon, she will risk losing her social status within
her group because she will seem easy to please or entertain. Therefore, even if a girl likes you,
she may not respond in a favorable manner if she is with other people, even though she would if
she were alone.

What should you do in these cases, then?

Remember: you will need to isolate her eventually if you want to speak to her. It wouldn't be
smart to try and make women fall for you - with or without humor - if they are with a group of
other women.

Here are two practical tricks to get the job done, though.

Gesture for her to approach you. If she agrees, you can interpret her action in two ways. First of
all, it is easy to summon her. Secondly, she is special compared to the rest of the women in her
group.

From personal experience, I have seen that the latter is usually true.

After she approaches you, ask her - while smiling - "You with your friends?" If she says yes, say
"They're all very pretty, but you're just gorgeous. I mean, just look at them." She will.

Then wave to the whole group while smiling and playfully say "Smile and say hey!" She
probably will.

Then say, "It was nice to meet you. After going back, pretend like you don't actually know me."
She will probably say, "Well, I don't know you!" Then you can say "Great acting." with a
thumbs-up.

If this is done confidently and happily (use the proper body language to make sure that she
knows you're not being a jerk), she will be intrigued and attracted to you right away. Her friends
will think you are just an acquaintance, but she will tell them she didn't actually know you before
that, but she can't get you out of her head (because you said she was gorgeous). Plus, while this
happens, you will raise her social status overall.

If this sounds a little crazy to you, approach all of them with a friend (going alone isn't smart
because a heroic appearance will not give you better chances - be clear of your goal) and let him
attract the rest of the group while you talk to the girl that you like selectively. Aside from some
great practice, your friend won't get a thing out of it, though, so make sure he's fine with that
sacrifice.

Other Things

While picking a target but yourself, remember: no matter which target you pick, it should try to
reinforce her ideology, idea, pre-existing prejudices, or status quo or it will not work. Stay away
from anything insulting and offensive, no matter what.

In general, it would be better to joke about something or somebody that you both know. This is
why people usually assign the names of movie stars, politicians, professors and common friends
to joke characters that wouldn't be funny otherwise. Learn what kind of people she hates and
likes first, though. If you have no idea, pick ideas and places as targets instead.

When it comes to places, talk about countries and cities. Constantly look out for country and city
stereotypes, like New York being fast-paced, noise and happening and Paris being romantic.
Conversely, England is about Shakespeare, bowler hats, Big Ben, old-fashioned gentleman and
bad weather.

For ideas, take notice of current issues. Newspapers can always offer up joke material. Also,
women adore sophistication, so choosing philosophy would be wise. Do not think that
philosophy is insipid and boring. It can actually be fun - provided you can make jokes out of it,
anyway. Use the logical fallacies list (look to the bonus bit of Logical Fallacies) as a weapon for
general speech analysis and for joke material.

When it comes to people, celebrities would be great subjects, but again, learn who she hates first
before cracking jokes about anyone (you could even consider making a joke about her by making
a comparison to a celebrity as this will be a little flattering sometimes).

Lastly, when it comes to sex, face it: you will have to deal with it as a subject sometime, but
keep in mind that you shouldn't rush into it as this will be more harmful than anything else.
You do not want to seem too desperate or flippant, but you also want to let her see you as a
possible lover.

Stereotypes are Powerful

Stereotypes can refer to simplifications, distortions, exaggerations and generalizations of

common traits that certain group members share. They are exaggerated to be funny.

Comedians usually put stereotypes to use for a reason - in order to make their audience laugh.

Watch how predictable some TV scenarios are and how talk show hosts and news reporters
repeatedly adhere to something to make the audience laugh, as well.

For instance, can you count how many 007 movies had villains who showed Bond their evil
plans prior to failing horribly? Bond constantly came in and got caught, sure, but he never got
executed right away. The villains chose to put him in death machines that never worked, for
some reason. And the Bond women, they all look the same - just with different hairdos.

Copy them or point them out. Women will laugh very easily this way. That is how powerful
stereotypes actually are.

Facts are Powerful

Stereotypes aside, there are also plain truths.

To some extent, stereotypes tend to reflect a certain truth, right? She may burst out in laughter
and say you're mean, but deep down, she will still identify certain groups of people because of
your stereotypical descriptions in the end.

Plus, stating plain truths can be very powerful sometimes, most of all if the truths are based on
things that women are too shy to admit or hate to admit.

Truths can include naturally funny things that are taken for granted quite frequently.

Do you ever wonder why hot dogs have nothing to do with dogs or why inflammable and
flammable and invaluable and valuable have the same meanings? Why are terrific and terrible
complete opposites, then?
Observe things more and find out new life meanings. She will then see you as a creative,
sensitive, interesting, fun and intelligent person to be around.

Facts are powerful and can be matched with exaggeration tactics, which I will mention later. (I
will repeatedly talk about this here: do not isolate tactics. Do whatever you can to bring them
together and strengthen their effects by making up completely original materials yourself.)

For instance, "My professor published seven books annually back in the day. If he were still
alive, he'd only get around four done now, though, because he'd be 94."

Words are Powerful

Wordplay is an ancient humor form and is seen as intellectual as opposed to toilet humor and
stupidity jokes. (I am not putting toilet humor down or anything, though. It actually works better
compared to intellectual jokes most of the time, but this would depend on the kind of woman you
are talking to.)

Not surprisingly, wordplay bears different levels of funniness to different cultures of women.

After all, there are personally and culturally unacceptable and acceptable ideas. Two completely
incompatible things could be laid next to each other without creating problems in one culture, yet
creating problems in another culture.

This works the same way with humans.

This tactic revolves around discovering brand new saying and word meanings that are normally
called clichés.

You need to practice to become more observant, so you can find these clichés all around you.
There are a lot of wonderful things that happen around you, and they happen to be great
materials for humor!

Just listen to the way people speak and count the amount of times you hear such clichés every
day, most of all in movies.

Movie Clichés

There are a lot of clichés when it comes to movies - not just in the spoken lines, but in the
repetitive scenarios and themes. This is why people sometimes call movies boring and
predictable after just fifteen minutes.

However, this is actually a good thing for you. When you are on a movie date next time, you will
have lots of things to joke about.

Here are some hero clichés in movies (including some that you will see the next time):

If the movie hero has a physical or psychological problem that has stopped him from dealing
with his problems effectively, you can be sure that the problem will be gone at the right time.

The movie hero will always miss the villain by a few seconds in a scene.

Being topless makes the movie hero invulnerable.

Unlike his sidekick, the movie hero will constantly have a female character paired up with him.

The movie hero's partner or best friend will usually die because of the villains a few days before
he retires.

The movie hero's wife will get mowed down with machine guns during the actual honeymoon or
after the wedding vows.

Movie heroes can keep going without toilet breaks, sleep or food, without measurable drops in
their mental or physical faculties, for a minimum of three days.

The movie hero will constantly have small blood trickles on his mouth corner after a fight. His
upper lip is always invulnerable, while his lip won't be split right in the middle. The blood will
be wiped with his hand's back. He will then look at the blood and if he has any other face injury,
it will usually appear as a small cheekbone abrasion. A band-aid will be placed on it for a day,
but it will heal miraculously after that.

After a fight, the movie hero will always say no to help from medical personnel or friends.

If the movie hero has a second fight, he will always get kicked or punched in any previously
injured part of the body.

The movie hero won't show any pain, even after a horrific beating. However, he will definitely
wince once a woman tries to clean up the wound on his face.

Whenever a movie hero has a weak sidekick, the latter will save the life of the hero when needed
or show off incredibly proficiency with a weapon in an important scene.

If the movie hero happens to be a white man with a sidekick who isn't white or male, that
sidekick will die, usually as a sacrifice for the hero.

If the hero has a sidekick who mentions his family within the first few minutes of the movie, that
sidekick will die eventually.

The hero is usually divorced. However, he still talks to his ex who claims they never should have
gotten divorced because she still loves him a lot.

In the real world, we usually hear:

"There's always sunshine after the rain."

"Que sera sera."

"Carpe diem."

"It's better to love than to never have loved at all."

"That's life."

"That's called karma."

"Smile and the world smiles with you."

Even cliches have cliches:

"Nobody owns cliches."

"Cliches are always old."

"Cliches sound great when not-in-English."

"Cliches may describe pretended feelings or real feelings, but they don't change them."

"All cliches have some truth in them."

"Always stay away from cliches."

Here are three simple methods of wordplay. Use them as you will and pick the kind that would
suit her disposition or the situation best.

Double Entendre

A double entendre probably is the most flexible kind of wordplay out there. It is also easy and
can be done on any kind of vocabulary. Countless English vocabulary words have various
meanings, actually.

Take "fit", for instance. This can either be used for suits (in color and size and such), as
competitive or as healthy. Therefore, if jeans companies claim that their goods are the fittest
survival, they are saying that their jeans will fit any legs' perfectly and that their overall quality
(or any other factor) is the best there is.

One other word is "strange". In English, this can mean newly-acquainted or odd. So, you can
say: "Every night I get a strange girl - this same girl - she' strange." Usually, these seemingly-
innocent words are good sources for double entendres, like "it". For some reason, "it" can have
very strong sexual connotations and are an art in directing female thoughts to sex without having
to speak about it. For instance:

Doctors do it patiently.

Teachers do it by the rules.

Bankers do it full of interest.

Window washers do it standing up.

Parents do it all over the place.

On a similar note, there is "in":

"I think it's great in June, but it's better in her sister, Summer."

Take heed, though, since many double entendre are simply moderate. If used the wrong way, you
can seem lame, which would be worse than just keeping your mouth shut.

There are a lot of other vocabularies that are frequently used and can be used as sources for
brilliant lines and ingenious jokes, such as (take note of how often people use them and how
easily they can be turned into jokes):

"I went to Cambridge." (Yesterday - to the place.)

How long does law degree take to read? Three seconds.

Are you able to place this bottle upside down without a cap and without spilling any water?
(Hold the bottle above your head, to your side then down.)

Choose words that she uses and make jokes about the. You might want to stay serious to make
the comical effect give an even bigger impression.

A special use of these double entendre would be phrase constructions like "old news", "pretty
ugly" and "silent scream" (the majority of which are clichés by nature). Technically, these are
called oxymoron and some of them are very witty sayings that can be heard every day.

Literal Meanings

Funnily enough, every language out there is a mere extension of that language's literal meanings
in vocabulary. People speak according to social rules and use different English word meanings
based on certain scenarios.

You can make funny sentences with the words' different meanings yet conform to the rules of
grammar at the same time.

For instance, "call" - as a word - can either mean "refer to" or "telephone". So, if she says "Can
you call me a taxi?" you can say "Hey, taxi" or "Alright, you're a taxi". If she claims she wants to
go window shopping with the girls, ask about the amount of windows she wants to buy.

You might be familiar with this well-known riddle: "Are you able to state the capital of every
state in under one minute?" (You can do this in just two seconds. This is quite like the "law
degree" joke from earlier on.)

One other classic example would be "not to tell" things. Implying not to tell things is like
keeping a secret, but you can joke about it in two ways:

1. Say you cannot tell somebody else or her that (reveal something here), like "She told me not to
tell you about how much she laughed about you yesterday. Oops."

2. Say you cannot tell her something because "something" is actually false. For instance: "I'm not
supposed to say I'm rich." "Why not" What's wrong with that?" "Well, it's because I'm just not
rich."

You can even use all sorts of different things like your penis size to make her think of sexual
things (but only after developing a certain intimacy level with her).

One handy preposition would be "in". The next time she invites you to join her in a glass of iced
tea, ask "Is there enough room?" Or when she says "I talked to John yesterday - in my pajamas",
ask "Why was he in your pajamas?"

Girls like asking: "What type of boyfriend or husband should I get?" Answer with: "Don't touch
boyfriends or husbands of other people. Find someone single."

If you're a great public speaker the next time someone asks if you get stage fright, just say "Trust
me: the stage isn't what frightens me. The entire audience freaks me out so much more."

Just by keeping a look out, you will see that the possibilities are everywhere.

Clichés

Clichés are always taken for granted by the day.

While people nod in agreement to popular sayings like that, the majority of people still do not
know what their humor potential actually is.

When clichés are misinterpreted or if overlooked truths are stated after a lot of clichés, you can
show her how thoughtful and creative you are as a person. For instance:
"If a thousand monkeys were typing on a thousand typewriters, they would produce Shakespeare
and it would smell horrible."

"The pen may be mightier than the sword, but it's much easier to use for writing."

"Being able to fool people sometimes is good enough!"

"If you don't succeed at first, change your goals."

Be Silly

The more famous term would be silly nonsense. However, when a woman calls you silly, it
could be an indication of affection (by saying "you're cute") or utter dislike.

I was your age when I was five.

Be careful! Rain equals water on the road.

This camera will only work if there is film inside it.

Showers and hairdryers do not mix.

Please line up by height - alphabetically.

Here is my personal suggestion: be silly every now and then while saying dominant the rest of
the time.

Women usually get attracted to a combination of innocence and virility. I don't know why this is
exactly, but I think it is because masculinity can fulfill the female desire for domination (as
mentioned earlier) while being silly can satisfy her maternal needs. This peculiar mix can create
a strong sense of contradiction and mystery all at once - which practically any woman would
love.

Mixed Sayings

This particular humor category can also be called "intellectual humor". These jokes fit
reasonably intelligent women best who can truly appreciate games of language.
Normally, people agree that mixed sayings are wicked, witty, and smart. Mixed sayings are
usually featured in the "daily thoughts" sections of most websites.

A lot of interesting examples exist for mixed sayings in life aside from rhetoric speeches and
idioms. For instance, London's east-end Cockney dialect has a lot of mixed sayings where
substituted terms even rhyme every now and then. For instance, Uncle Ted is bed and pig's ear is
actually beer.

We usually hear sayings like "Failing to plan is planning to fail" or "People are supposed to eat
to live, not eat to live." These are mixed sayings.

Probably the most well-known mixed saying would be by John F. Kennedy. "Ask what you
could do for your own country as opposed to what your own country could do for you."

Some global mixed sayings can really come in handy. For instance "I have what it takes to take
what you have" and "No one cares about what you know until they know just how much you
actually care".

There is a problem with mixed sayings, though: the majority of them are already seen as cliches.
Don't worry, though. This happens to be a good opportunity for you to get creative and surprise
your girl. For instance, whenever she hesitates before doing something, you can say, "Chill out.
There is nothing for you to fear but fear itself - and maybe your dad." (Provided she told you this
was what she was worried about in the first place.)

One trick of looking for opportunities of mixed sayings would be to get a habit of mixing up
popular sayings with word sequences. Just try some out for fun and you will be surprised to learn
that there are numerous sayings for you to play with out there.

One other way to make mixed sayings would be to explore the relationship between antonyms
and synonyms. For instance, "women may sweat, but real ladies just perspire". One of Dave
Barry's famous sayings was "Although people can't stay young, they can stay immature." LA
Times wrote this once: "There is only one thing that is more disturbing compared to neighbors
with old and noisy cars: neighbors with brand new and quiet cars."

Make sure that the woman you talk to truly enjoys and appreciates this kind of wordplay. If she
doesn't, don't use it. Give her coffee instead.

If you like this kind of humor, try this particular exercise: if you get bored waiting in line or
something, list down several words in pairs in your head and begin making sentences out of
them. Add more antonyms and synonyms to see where it gets you. They may end up sounding
crappy in the beginning, but you will get better at it in no time.

Surprises

Whenever women get pleasantly surprised, they tend to laugh. A lot of the time, people laugh to
hide their embarrassment because of getting something wrong. (On that note, people don't
actually expect to get things right in their subconscious to begin with, so where is the value of
entertainment? You need to take full advantage of that.)

I have already mentioned that one laughter element is known as surprise. I will talk about that
here now.

Each surprise joke that you tell is actually a short story in a woman's mind. However, don't just
tell stories for the sake of saying something. No matter what lines or stories you use, your goal
needs to be to set her up (make her come up with false conclusions) prior to giving her the right
answer.

This works because the female brain can't accommodate two ideas at once (your revelation and
her personal conclusion). She needs to laugh in order to let the psychological tension go.

Dave Barry happens to be an expert at reverse, which is why he is a humor columnist right now.
Just go through his previous columns to see how he typically uses reverse to start a humor piece
that never fails to grab the attention of readers and always sets the right mood for humor and
laughter.

Send her to wrong ideas in a natural manner prior to telling her things that will go against her
own assumptions. The secret word here would be "assumptions".

Playing on assumptions happens to be easy and can be done in three steps"

1. Find out the regular implication of something you are going to say. People tend to take
everything for granted by nature. However, if you keep asking, you can find out new meanings
for practically anything. This will help you explore new opportunities of misleading her.

2. Send her personal thoughts into the wrong direction with conventional phrases or words. This
is known as "tacit agreements".
3. Tell her the truth. Say things that will perfectly fit with what you said in the second step -
something she didn't expect.

Tricks of Linguistics

You can put language loopholes to use in order to get women to think in a certain way. For
instance, you can say: "My brother is in Harvard Med." The minute she hears you say this, what
do you think she will think? She will have a scholarly figure in mind… a little nerdy, smart, with
glasses and even a lab coat.

She may ask: "Studying what?" Everything is natural - based on the conventional sentence
interpretations that you said. Still, you just said "in Harvard".

English, in itself, has played a trick on her because you should say "Nothing, they are the ones
studying him" instead.

Each word will be consistent and logical with the available information. And this will effectively
deny her first perception.

Reinforcement

You will usually be able to tell if somebody is going to express the complete opposite view of
what they just said. For instance, if your girl suddenly begins to say you're nice, you can tell that
something bad is about to follow.

People usually imply what they are going to say with a certain tonality and certain words.
Whenever you say "I used to think", that implies that you no longer think it. Get it?

Well, you can take full advantage of this assumption. Say something like: "When I was younger,
I thought money was vital in life. Now that I'm older, I am fully aware that it is."

"When I was younger, I always though gorgeous girls like you just have bad manners, in general.
Now that I'm older, I can say for sure that that's true."

"I believe that sex between two people is beautiful. But it's utterly fantastic with five."

Self-Contradictions
You can tell a woman two things that seem contradicting yet still make perfect sense. This
contradiction is especially funny since it is incredibly logical overall. This will make her mind
conflict and make her laugh. For instance, if you talk about something you both like (a movie,
album, or book), you can say "This CD/movie/book is great. I definitely wish I could add it to
my collection/library. One day, I might even listen/watch/read it." I like this one even more:
"Three thugs almost killed me last night, but Peter Storch saved me. He said "Alright boys,
enough!"

Predict Female Expectations

Whenever you can predict female expectations, surprise them by saying things that are
completely against those expectations.

For instance, after the date, ask whether she had a good time or not. Naturally, she will say yes
and will expect you to say something similar to her response. However, you should say "Well,
let's end that." instead - with a smile.

The key here would be to take full advantage of the conventions of society. Behaviors that are
socially acceptable will always be predictable. For instance, if you say "My girlfriend left me for
my best man", she will say "Wow. I'm sorry." Then you should say this while looking frustrated:
"Damn it, that guy was my best friend!"

After Making Her Laugh

Even though this book mostly focuses on making women laugh, I am quite sure that that isn't
your only purpose. The majority of men out there search for ways to go further. Here, I will
teach you the basics on establishing a relationship after using humor.

End the Conversation

Always be the one to cut the conversation short.

You have probably heard people talking about not pushing their luck. Well, after successfully
making her laugh and giving her a great time, end things right away.

Yes, that's right: end the conversation.

By teasing her like this, you can increase your odds of winning her over significantly. As
counter-intuitive as this is, it actually works.

See, after entertaining a woman with powerful humor, her laughter sensitivity will probably
drop. This means that she will get used to having fun and you will eventually change how she
sees humor because of this.

A lot of men simply have no idea when to quit, so they just let those great opportunities slip
away from them without even knowing it.

Conversely, if you quit before she gets to that fun-filled peak, the sudden humor withdrawal will
leave her wanting more. She may even get different types of fantasies about you in her head and
begin wanting to see you again. In any case, things will go well for you.

Have selfish thoughts for once. If she is aware that you talk to her a lot because she wants you to
and if she knows you are doing everything to get in her good graces, what do you think she will
think? She won't need you anymore because she knows you need her.

This is why you need to lock that winning status and leave her without completely satisfying her.
She will either think "What's wrong with me? Why is this happening?" (Most of all if she is
gorgeous and if she always gets what she wants.) Or "Will I see him again?"

But what if she doesn't really reach that needing-you state yet? Firstly, you need to know better
than ending the conversation that you are having prematurely. However, if this happens, move
on. At least it was great and fun.

There are a lot of girls out there and a lot of them will want to be with you. Be an alpha male.
(Remember me talking about the alpha males before?)

If you truly like a girl, come up with new opportunities of running into her over and over again.
That would be the best solution, don't you think?

Build a Connection

Don't let your immediate small successes blind you and forget your actual goal. Do you want her
to laugh or would you like to learn more about her?

You can at least ask for her phone number.

You could just say, "Wow. I have to go. It was nice to meet you. Do you think we can talk more
sometime? Maybe you could give me your number so we can see each other again." (This sounds
less committing overall.)

If you would rather set a date right away, say this: "I have to go. I'll have more time later in the
week, though. Is Friday good?" There are two interesting things about this. First of all, you
assumed that she would like to date you. This works with the woman's unconscious desire for
male validation. Second of all, you asked whether Friday was good instead of "could we meet up
on Friday", which means that you aren't really asking her for a date and you don't really care
whether she agrees to it or not.

Keep assuming the superior role, so you never show your neediness, no matter what. This
mindset happens to be very powerful.

If you succeed at making a woman laugh while dominating her la t once, she will see the
situation subconsciously or consciously. Either way, she will treat you the way you deserve -
read: different to the other guys. Plus, this mindset will not just make you seem more natural by
improving your overall body language, but will even increase your odds of building a bond with
her.

After getting her contact information, do not forget to conduct postmortems. Think about the
things that you did right and also about what you did that required improvement the next time.
Also, never forget to use each successful experience in order to consciously improve your levels
of confidence with positive autosuggestions.

That’s really it when it comes to using humor to seduce women. Don’t forget to incorporate
these techniques when you’re talking to women… and interlace them with
ConversationalSeduction™ tactics for maximum effect.

All the best,

ConversationalSeduction.com