The Wing Girl Method Manual For

Approaching & Creating Attractive Conversation

Now that you know what you’re all about, and what your goals are,
it’s time to work on achieving them.

The only thing that I ask of you, before you dive into this manual, is
that you abide by 1 simple rule:

RULE:
For every 1 hour of “studying” and absorbing information i.e. Reading
this guidebook, you must go and practice in the real world for 2 hours!
If you just sit at home on your coach you will never see change.

We both know that you got this program because you're not a quitter,
like 90% of the other guys out there. If there's one thing women
avoid more than anything, it's a guy who bails on something because
he doesn't have the guts to follow through on his own self-
development.

As long as you abide by the rule above you “will” get the results you
want with women.
 

Approaching

If you often see beautiful women but can’t quite find it in you to walk
up to them, or if you’re constantly waging a war about whether to
approach in your head, then this section is for you. In this section
we’re going to be going through:

 How to get you mentally pumped for approaching

 Exercises to help you take action
 Tips on what to say

Approaching women does not have to be as difficult as you think. In

fact, as a man it is part of your biological makeup to approach and
attract women. Why? Because you need to approach so you can
have sex and make babies to populate the earth.

The only thing that is stopping you from fulfilling your manly duties is
that thing on top of your neck - your head.

Over thinking our actions can sometimes deter us from doing them.
Action is your best teacher, and the most empowering step you can
take. So, moving forward, I do not want you to think about
approaching, I want you to just do it!

Inaction leaves you static. Action pushes you forward. Whether it’s
good or bad, action is definitive. This means that you can celebrate or
 

move on, rather than wasting time wondering ‘what if?’

From now on, there is no more wasting time and opportunity in this
area of your life.

Remember the first exercise in the How To Become A Man Women

Want video in Step 2 Activation? The exercise where you have to
engage 10 people every single day? I want you to take this exercise
seriously, and if you haven’t started doing it then I want you start
RIGHT NOW!

I know you may feel uncertain about this at first. In fact, I had a client
that sent me this email that will probably resonate with you:

"Purely on a philosophical level, I do not see how approaching other

random men and people I am not interested in will ever amount to
more success with women. I want to approach women, not people.

So, for me, approaching 10 people a day to talk to them wouldn't

really help me overcome my fear of approaching attractive women."

This comment is very common. In fact, I used to think the same way
when I was overcoming my extreme approach anxiety (after I had my
stroke at the age of 20).

I used to say; “How does approaching stupid random people help me

approach and engage people I actually want to talk to?”
 

You may believe that your approach anxiety is strictly isolated

towards women you find attractive, but I guarantee you that this fear
is generalized towards all people in some way that you feel you have
no business talking to.

Once you can approach any stranger, without overwhelming

anxiousness (a little fear is OK, natural and part of the fun!) it will
make it 10x’s easier to approach women are attracted to.

Steps:

1. Approach people you find hideous

2. Approach women you are NOT attracted to
3. Approach women you want to meet

Work in small steps everyday, and soon strolling up to a gorgeous

woman in the mall is going to feel a lot more natural.

The exercise of approaching 10 people a day is the exact same

exercise I gave to myself and the same exercise I have used to coach
1000’s of men to success with women.

Once you start doing this exercise, you will start to see what 1000’s of
others (and myself) have seen.
 

1. You will see how much you can change.

2. You will see how people will start engaging you.

3. You will see how opportunities are always around you.


Because opening yourself up to everyone, makes you ready and
prepared for when someone great comes along. If you are not
ready, you will miss the opportunity every time.

Approaching 10 people every day:

 Increases Your: Confidence, comfort level and energy.

 Decreases Your: Fear of rejection, attachment to an outcome,

stress levels when approaching those you want to approach.

 Overall it will make it easier for you transfer that comfortable,

natural approach to a person you are interested in.

Now tackle why you feel like you have so much more invested in
approaching women you’re attracted to.

Why is that?
 

What (apart from a gorgeous smile) makes her so much harder than
all of the other people you’ve been speaking to? I want us to remove
this pressure so that approaching a hot, amazing woman can be
considered fun and not a scary task that you would rather avoid.

Over the last decade of working with 1000’s of men from all over the
world, I have discovered that the #1 reason men have approach
anxiety, is because they tend to attach huge meaning to the outcome
of their approach.

For example: “I’m going to approach that smoking hot girl, ask for her
number and go on a date.”

First, the only thing you know about this girl is that she is hot and her
looks have caught your attention. You have NO idea if you want her
number and you definitely don’t know if you want to spend time and
money taking her out on a date.

Second, any time that you put pressure on a possible outcome, you
will most likely fail. Why? Because if you are focused on a goal
larger than what’s presented in front of you, you will experience:

1. Stress
2. Extreme pressure
3. Inability to be present

All of the above are detrimental to your approaches with women.

 

I’ll get back to WHY this is so detrimental a little later. For now, I want
to work on readjusting your goals and expectations by helping you set
manageable and achievable intentions.

Setting Intentions

There are many different situations that you will find yourself in with
women but the one constant will be you.

Therefore every step of the way, it is your responsibility to ask

yourself “What Do I Want?”

 Because I believe that in order to get what you want, you have to
ask for it.

 When you know what you want, your intentions will be clear.

Let’s put it this way: You want to wash your clothes, but you are out
of laundry detergent. So you go to the grocery store to buy laundry
detergent. At the store you don’t sit in front of the detergent section,
stare and get nervous about whether or not you should get the
 

detergent. You select the detergent you want, take it to the counter,
purchase it and take it home. That was because you had set your
intention.

Intention: Go to the grocery store and buy laundry detergent.

INTENTION COMPLETED!

Any time you go to the store without an intention you end up

spending too much, forgetting to get what you need and probably
buying stuff that you will never use.

Now let’s say, after you get the detergent, you see a few others
things that you decide you want. You now have an add on intention.

Add On Intention: Get eggs, milk and shampoo

ADD ON INTENTION COMPLETED!

The picture I am painting for you is that setting intentions helps you
be clear and get what you want instead of ending up with a house full
of garbage you don’t need ;-)

Let’s apply what you just learned to your approaches with women.

I want you to eliminate large, outcome dependent intentions like: get

 

her number, ask her out, etc.

I want you to start smaller. Smaller will help you keep yourself in
check, maintain self-respect and get better results with women.

From now on, I want you to use the following intention as your reason
for approaching:

INTENTION: “She’s hot. I’m going to go talk to her and see what
she’s about”

This intention puts the control back in your hands and puts you in the
position of selector and evaluator.

After you complete this intention you can move on to further

intentions, if you decide to do so.
 

Exercise:

Write down the intention above, or some version of it that feels right
for you, and stick it in your back pocket.

For the next two weeks, keep it in your back pocket and every time
you see a hot girl and start going into grand intention mode (which
will psych you out), pull out the piece of paper and read it.

Own your intention and then count down from 3 to 1.

3, 2, 1 GO!!!!!

CASE STUDY:
Check out a case study of a man I worked with ONCE. Together we
 

worked on pushing him through his approach anxiety so that it was

completely eliminated.

Go to:
http://www.winggirlmethod.com/approach-anxiety-case-study/ 

You can also check out this article that I came across recently about
making decisions. Making a decision is a big part of approaching.

It’s called; How to Make a Smart Decision in Less Than 60

Seconds, by Steve Pavlina.

Click here to download it now!

Once you can start approaching 10 people every day and setting your
intentions with women, you will notice a huge change in the way you
interact with women.

You may even start to question why you ever thought approaching
was difficult; you may even start to really enjoy it.

Now you’ve:
 Focused on what your intentions are
 Decided to forget approach anxiety and take action
 

It’s time to move onto out next section:

Conversational Starting Points

So far you’ve laid all of the groundwork for success: now it’s time to
kick start your action plan.

If you’ve ever stumbled over your lines when chatting to a girl, been
unable to carry a conversation on and paid a compliment only to have
it bomb - this is the section for you!

You will learn:

 How to ditch those tired lines and routines.

 How to give attractively communicate whatever you’re talking
about.
 How to use openers that are sincere and original.
 How to listen and respond to what women want to talk about.
 How to lead the conversation without dominating it.
 How to pay a compliment that really means something.
 

Ditch Those Pick Up Lines, Gimmicks and Routines

First things first, it’s time to forget trying to follow a script when you’re
talking to women. The Wing Girl Method, (and myself) do not endorse
Pick Up Lines, Gimmicks or Routines: they’re not real, they’re not
you and they don’t work!

In the beginning of course, it is totally fine to use other people’s pick

up lines, gimmicks or routines because you are learning and figuring
out your own style. But, you cannot rely on using others materials,
word for word, and expect amazing results.

Why?

Because I can guarantee these materials are not congruent with your
character. Therefore when using gimmicks you are being false, fake,
inconsistent and dishonest. Women can smell false behavior from a
mile away.

I do understand that in the beginning stages of learning, some tactics

are needed, to ensure you have a structure that works with women.

To make sure you have enough great pointers to get you started I
have put together a quick tip section for having attractive
conversations with women.
 

Disclaimer
The following tips/lines/routines are ONLY to be used for
practice

From these building blocks I’d love you to develop your own versions
so that they are genuine and authentic to you.

Forget the Fakery and Be True to You

First of all let’s get rid of some false beliefs that you may have tied up
with how you can talk to women.

FACT: People are different. Therefore a line that one person uses will
not come across the same way if another person says the exact
same sentence.

STORY

I used to work with a client who had gone to a boot-camp run by a

leading player in the attraction industry. This program included tons of
routines to memorize and use.

This client and I went on a Wing Girl outing and he attempted to show
me his moves. He would go up to women and say the lines he was
told to say that would bring him instant success. Instead of the
women getting turned on, they appeared to be insulted, and actually
 

repulsed, by my client.

It went something like this:

Client: “Hey, I’m buying a gift for my little sister and wanted your
opinion on what I could get her.”

Woman: “How about some jewelry.”

Client: “Oh, I see you’re a materialistic girl. We’re never going to get
on!”

Woman: “Did you practice those lines before you came here?”

Obviously, I swooped in to save him by saying we were doing a test.

However, this proved to him that you can’t expect to use scripted
lines that someone else has given you, and expect to have the same
success that they did.

RULE: Only say lines that are true to you.

Whether their borrowed or rehearsed at home, if your lines are not

YOUR LINES, no woman will ever believe them. We can smell
bullshit a mile away.

FACT: Fake stories, no matter how cool they sound, will seem
insincere and come across badly. Everything you do and say must
reflect you. Be consistent, genuine and most importantly honest. As I
have told you many times before, women are most attracted to a man
who is confident within himself and comfortable with his behavior.
 

STORY

I worked with another client who had done a similar program to the
one described above and he started reciting his routine for me by
telling me a story about him and his motorcycle.

Client: “I once toured across the West coast on my motor bike, it was
the best adventure. A lot of girls rode on that saddle!”

Marni: “What engine was it?”

Client: “Errrrr…..”

Marni: “Have you ever been on a motorcycle?”

Client: “No.”

Marni: “Then stop telling that story. You are not selling it and I can tell
it’s fake. You’re cool enough as it is without having to mention a
motor bike!”

Needless to say he never told that story again.

RULE: Your own stories and experiences are good enough.

You don’t need to make anything up. If you say something out of
character women can sense that. Therefore you need to take the
pick-up lines, gimmicks and routines you learn from others and make
them your own. Add your own tweaks to make them work for YOU.
Then they will work.

Seriously, as a woman I have heard all the typical pick up lines,

from many, many men over the years and sometimes they spark
 

attraction and other times they invoke nausea.

Women respond to emotions (energy) and not words. So try to say

things that are original, real and true to you.

Forget Topics Think About Energy

I have had hundreds of men writing into me asking this question

“What do I talk to women about” and I always give them the same
response: talk to women about whatever you want!

Contrary to popular belief, there are no magical conversational topics

that will instantly get a woman’s underwear to pop off. Nor is there a
conversation that will guarantee attraction with every single woman.

In fact it is not what you say to women but HOW you say it to them.
This is very important and something you must get in order to be
successful so I am going to say it again to drill it into you.

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY BUT HOW YOU SAY IT!

If you are comfortable and confident saying “banana, banana,

banana” to a woman and really own it, she will be attracted to you.

As I have said before, women are attracted to energies and character

 

not to specific words. If you speak with passion, excitement,

confidence or knowledge then you are as good as gold.

It’s when you start formatting your conversation to please a woman

that you will turn off women.

EXERCISE:

Find a woman and approach her. Tell her you are doing an
experiment (because you are).

Then start talking about something you are an expert in or that you
 

really care about.

For example, if you love comic books, tell her about your favorite
comic book characters. Or architecture, or video games, or art, or
celebrity gossip. Whatever you feel most comfortable talking about.
Talk about it and don’t hold back.

Notice her face and involvement when you are speaking. When you
are at ease and are comfortable talking she will be at ease. She will
lean in, make eye contact and hang onto your words.

She does this because you are projecting a character that she can
connect to and wants to be around. A character that is passionate,
confident and expressive. Very attractive!

More importantly, she does this because she can FEEL you.

TIP: When interacting with women, it will be the death of you to

apply linear logic and consistency.

For women, emotions are everything.

Women absolutely crave men to come up to them and make them

feel something. Talking is just one mechanism to do that, so is
picking her up and spinning her around, so is kissing her, so is the
tone of your voice, and so is what you wear and how you look (to a
 

much lesser extent).

Feelings are everything.

If she FEELS that what you are saying is false, she will discard you
immediately and put up her shield of protection.

Do this exercise with 3-5 women. I guarantee you will get a similar
response. Keep in mind that if you are not at ease and comfortable
with your conversation she will not have this response. That is why
you must be sure to select a topic you know a lot about and have
passion for.

The lessons learned from this experiment will alleviate the pressure
to “say the right thing” because you will you now know, there is no
“right thing” just the RIGHT WAY.

Now that you know this it will be easier for you to break into
conversations.

How Start Talking To Women

I want you to work on your own ‘opening lines’. I want you to feel out
what is natural to you through real life practice.

My overall belief on talking to women is that the way you start talking
 

to a woman should be no different from the way you start talking to

everyone else around you.

Conversation style should not change as soon as a hot woman

comes along.

However, conversation style does change once you develop your

intention.

There are 3 ways to approach and start talking to a woman. But all 3
require 1 thing, a purpose. If you don’t approach and start talking
with purpose, then don’t bother approaching at all.

Guys who say hi then stand there staring waiting for me to continue
the conversation creep me out.

3 Ways To Approach

1. Observational
2. Opinion Opener
3. Direct

All are great, but again, they must be real, authentic and genuine or
else none will work for you.

Observational
 

Using an observation about the woman you approach or the world

around you.

Example: At grocery store seeing a woman loading up on food.

“That’s a lot of food for a little lady”

Observation conversational conversation requires wit and speed. This

is where those improvisation classes will come into play.

**For a quick lesson and exercise on how to pull conversation out of

thin air by using observation click here.

Reminder: After an observational statement is made you will get 1 of

2 responses.

1. The woman will latch on to your observation and come back at

you with a joking line of banter. This response is typically from
more outgoing women.

2. The women will stare out you while she internally says to
herself “what does this guy want from me”.

Both responses can lead into either sharing or asking a question.

Sharing: Share an opinion, experience, interesting fact or story about

yourself pertaining to the observation.

Example: “I was here about a week ago buying food for my weekly
summer barbecue and had a cart that looked similar to yours. I
probably got about 30 stares from people thinking to themselves that
guys a pig or that guys in for a good time.”:

This gives the woman a second to let her guard down and see that
you are simply sharing and engaging in conversation with her NOT
trying to get anything from her.
 

Then you can lead into a question.

Question: Make sure your questions are open ended and require
more than a 1 or 2-word response.

Both can lead you into a more conversation so that you can decide
your intention and what you may or may not want from this woman.

Opinion Opener

Breaking into conversation with a woman and asking her opinion on

something. For me, this is the cheesiest of all forms of conversation
but I understand that some people feel most comfortable using
opinion openers.

Please remember that if you use and opinion opener, make sure you
actually want to hear the opinion and can actually add to her
response.

Example: (At grocery store) “I’m cooking dinner tonight for two of my
best friends. Which wine goes better with Chicken?”

Then, from her response, you can lead into sharing or asking a
question.

Direct
 

I really like direct approaches when it is appropriate. Being direct, is

asking for what you want and open to hearing what the other person
wants as well.

Example: “Hi, listen, I’m in a meeting right now, but I’d love to grab a
coffee with you some time. What’s your number?”

The direct approach will only work if your approach is sincere. If a

woman ever feels that you are not present, or that you see her as an
object during a direct approach, she will eject herself from the
interaction very quickly.

I want you to work on your own ‘opening lines’. I want you to feel out
what is natural to you through real life practice. See which of the 3
options for staring conversation work best for you.

I recently did some work with a client on conversation. After our first
lesson, I asked him to put together some common scenario’s he
misses out on every day because he doesn’t know what to say.

His scenario’s and possible “openers” are below as well as my

feedback and comments.

Scenario 1: Supermarket
 

A lady is pushing a scaled down buggy.

“Hello (Smile) that's a cute buggy but it's getting full. Can I go get
you the industrial size buggy?”

Marni’s Feedback: Very cute observational opener. I like it.

Why this works: Playful, slight teasing and enjoyable. You may not
even need to say the first two lines of “Hello, that’s a cute buggy…”
After she giggles or responds in her own way you can introduce
yourself and even start piling stuff in her buggy.

Scenario 2: Supermarket

A lady is looking at different hair care products.

“Hi (smile) I'm thinking about switching from just using soap on my
hair. Can you suggest a good shampoo for my kind of hair?”

Marni’s Feedback: Funny: Such a guy comment, but a man in

distress is cute. I used a very similar line yesterday at the nail salon. I
tried on 3 different colors and said to a woman getting her nails done
"I have my engagement shower on Sunday. Which color makes my
ring pop more?" She said, "Well first question, what are you
wearing?" I said "Great question, I didn't even think of that," and then
 

we chatted for another 5 minutes all from a simple question!

As a sexy add on you can have her feel your hair by saying, “run your
fingers through and tell me what would work best.”

Scenario 3: Bookstore

A lady is reading a book in one of the aisles. Bump gently into her as
you go by.

“Hi (smile) you look mesmerized. Do you think I would like what
you're reading?”

Marni’s Feedback: I like where you were going with this opinion
opener but make sure to expand the question so you get more than a
one word answer. So make sure to ask, what about that book do you
like or something along those lines to get her to open up more.

Scenario 4: Bookstore

A lady is looking at books in the new arrivals’ section.

“Hi (smile) have you heard any good reviews about…(One of the
arrivals). What do you like to read?”
 

Marni’s Feedback: I like the first part but the second feels like an
interview. The first part is a mix between opinion and observational
approaches, which will seem very comfortable to a woman. But again
the second part is definitely not needed at least not until she gives
you her response.

Scenario 5: Coffee shop

A lady is at the next table working on a laptop.

“Hi (smile) you seem to be really focused. Is your deadline today?”

Marni’s Feedback: Again with the double comments. Seems hokey

to me. If you say the “you seem so focused” I would continue with
something about how you could tell that she was so focused on bring
it back to a sharing moment. For example “You’re so focused. I do
the same thing when I am really into something. I frow my brow and
get this intense face. What has you so focused?”

Scenario 6: Gym

A lady is working out on a machine.

“Hi (smile) you look like you’re really punishing that machine. Give it a
 

break!"

Marni’s Feedback: Cute observational opener mixed with a little

humor. This is appropriate to use in a gym (where women aren’t
necessarily expecting to be flirted with), non sleazy and perfectly
between a tease and a compliment. 2 things. The gym is also a time
for quick discussions. People are there to work out and then get out.
So, I would love you to say that comment and then walk away or
move on to a different topic that you stay on for 30 seconds and then
walk away leaving her wanting more.

Scenario 7: Mall

A lady is shopping in ladies section.

“Hi (smile) my mom is feeling low and I want to get her a nice gift to
pick up her spirits. Any ideas what I should get her? I’m not sure if
this (picks up fuchsia scarf) is quite right for a sixty year old!”

Marni’s Feedback: Initial response is that you can actually expand on

this opinion opener by sharing. Give your thoughts on the scarf, why
you like it or what you got her last year.

Scenario 8: Mall
 

A lady is shopping in the perfume aisle.

“Hi (smile) can I borrow your arm for a minute? My cousin's birthday
is coming up and I want to get her some top of the line perfume. Can
I test it on you?”

Marni’s Feedback: Love it love it love it!!! That is the best one out of
all of them. It’s interactive and shows you know how to take control
and be bold enough to not only ask an opinion, but lead her as well.

Now it’s your turn!

EXERCISE:

Create your own list of openers.

 

Go back through recent approaches you made, or wished you made,

and write down what you wish you could have said.

Practice what you would say in the mirror for 2 weeks every night. I
want you to get comfortable with the openers so that they are
automatic and flow out of your mouth easily.

Next go and practice them with women. Start off slow by approaching
women you are NOT attracted to. When that feels comfortable to you,
move onto attractive women.

This exercise will make it easier to approach. You won’t be stumbling

for “What to say” because you will already have a repertoire of
proven/practiced things to say.

As you practice you will notice what works for you and doesn’t work
and you will keep tweaking until start getting positive consistent
results.

Be Comfortable With Awkward Silences

The awkward pause is by far one of the worst feelings in the entire
world. That is, until you learn to enjoy it and realize you are not
responsible for filling it. That’s right, just like how you don’t have to
 

talk about any particular topics, you also don’t have to talk constantly.
In fact being unable to pause makes you appear nervous!

I used to panic whenever I heard an empty pause and stupid things

would come out of my mouth just to avoid it. Now, I breathe in the
pause and celebrate it. I actually love it.

TIP:

Take a moment to yourself.

When engaging a woman and you experience an awkward pause,

take a breath, lower your shoulders, soften your brow, look in her
eyes and smile. Calmness in a man is SEXY!

I guarantee she will be the one filling the gap.

EXERCISE: Next time you are out socially, find two women and
tell them you are conducting an experiment, and that you need
their assistance.

Ask them both what random foods they dislike. Pick one of the foods
and make sure that one of the girls likes this type of food. Let’s say
 

that one of them hates peanut butter and jelly. Then ask each of
them, to say; “I love peanut butter and jelly.”

You will be able to sense which one is being honest about the
statement and which one is just saying it because they were told to
say it. Even though they are using the same words the statements
sound completely different.

That is exactly how you will sound if you borrow conversation from
others.
 

LISTEN, LISTEN and LISTEN MORE…

Now that you can kick start a conversation you have to learn how to
continue it forward. If you find yourself asking lots of questions you
don’t care about, or conversations often going cold rather quickly,
then you need to learn how to be a more effective listener.

Listening is a difficult task to complete when you are nervous and

talking to a woman you just approached - I get it.

However, it is really important that that you become a great listener.

Not just so that you can eventually be an amazing partner, but also
because “really listening” will give you all the clues you need to carry
on an effective conversation with women.
 

STORY

During a first session with one of my clients I had him do a mock pick
up with me. I would be sitting at a bar and he would approach me and
attempt to engage me in conversation.

After a few tries we got his approach to a “sexy place” where I was
totally comfortable with him sitting beside me. The next step was
engaging me in conversation.

He would ask me a question and I would start to answer and before I

would finish he would cut to his next question.

Client: “So are cosmopolitans your favorite cocktails?”

Marni: “Yes I like them…”

Client: “I thought so, so where do you like to go to normally on the

weekend?”

Marni: “I like to work out, hang out with friends…”

Client: “What about during the evenings?”

He was so preoccupied with asking the right questions that he wasn’t

 

present in our conversation.

That meant I could not connect to him and thus was not attracted to
him as well. I did not feel like I was part of the conversation.

It is difficult to connect to a woman if you’re “living in your head” and

not present. I know it is tough, especially when you are nervous, but if
you take a deep breath, and listen, conversation will flow much
easier.

I always say conversation is very similar to dancing. In dancing as a

man, you present the first move by asking the woman to dance. She
will then take on the second move and give you her hand and so on
and so on. Step by step, you give a little more to form a connection.

You want your dance to flow and the moves to be smooth, therefore
you need to first practice the moves and “be present” so that they will
work!

Here is an example of how you can listen for what the woman is
interested in, and make your conversation go further by responding to
her:

You: “Hi have you heard any good reviews about ‘Freedom?”

Her: “No I haven’t, I’m more of a Jane Austen kind of girl.”

 

You: “I have to admit I’ve never read Jane Austen, though I did watch
the ‘Pride and Prejudice’ movie. Are you a huge fan of Mr. Darcy
then?”

Her: “Yes!”

You: “Ok that means on our first date that I’ll have to rock some
breaches!”

Notice how the guy initiated the first move, then listened, followed
what the woman signaled she was interested in, and built a
conversation out of the ‘steps’ the woman suggested - just like in a
dance.

Lead, But Don’t Dominate, The Conversation

It is my belief that men should be talking 25% of the time and allowing
a woman to talk 75% of the time. You are leading the dance, but you
are taking the cues from her, and allowing a woman to express
herself.

Leading the conversation is sexy however; dominating it is a turn off. I

hate it when men talk my ear off and don’t listen to what I have to
say. To me it spells insecurity and discomfort. It can also lead to
friendship instead of a sexual or intimate relationship.
 

In order to be seen as masculine sexual leader option, instead of a

woman’s new male best friend, you have to be careful with the type of
energy you are putting out there when you speak.

To explain this I’m going to give you some conversation examples of

the different ways a friend speaks, compared to a sexual leader.

Conversation Examples:

A Friend Says - OMG I feel exactly the same way that you do. That's
just how I feel. It reminds me of the time I…. (Gives a story from their
own life).

A Sexual Leader Says - You have a really interesting perspective.

Before walking over here I would have never guessed that response
would have come from you. I have been proven wrong (smile, pause
in silence for 2 seconds then look away, then move into general
conversation that is light and fun.)

I firmly believe that in the beginning, it is the man’s responsibility to

guide the conversation. Not dominate it.

This is the difference between a “friendship” conversation and a

“sexual” conversation: friendship conversation seeks common
ground, while a sexual interest leads the conversation.

Remember as a man, you should be talking 25% of the time and

 

the woman should be talking 75% of the time.

So how do you lead the conversation? You lead by asking questions,

telling stories and LISTENING.

Tip: Don’t try to top her!

When women reveal and share, they want to be listened to. They
don’t want to be topped or hear about how you experienced the same
thing. They want to feel heard and understood.

They may want to hear their friends share similar experiences, but
not someone they’ve just met. Besides you don’t just want to be their
friend!

So don’t lead the conversation like a friend, “I felt the same way…”
(Tell your own story for 5 minutes)…” Instead focus on getting her to
express herself.

When I was younger I always hung out with guys, and I remember
this one car ride with 3 of my guy friends. One guy would tell a story
and the others would scramble in their heads to find a story that
topped their story. None of them were listening to each other. They
were competing.

You don’t want to compete with a woman, or be her friend, you want
to be the kind of guy she wants to date.
 

So after you ask a detailed question, allows the woman to be heard

when she gives a response. You are free to comment and get into
conversation and discussion BUT be careful of stepping into
friendship talk. At least in the beginning.

Compliment With Purpose

Now that I’ve got you thinking of your openers, and have given some
guidance on how you can continue the conversation, I want to tackle
the issue of compliments.

Compliments are something you’ll almost inevitably use when you’re

first speaking to a woman: but so often compliments are delivered
terribly! Just like using lines and routines, if you use a compliment
you don’t mean, or that you haven’t thought up, it will ring hollow to a
woman. Many times she will have heard it all before, and think you’re
a jerk for trying to use a line to impress her.

In doing the exercise below you will know exactly how it feels, from a
female point of view, to receive an empty compliment.
 

EXERCISE: First select a random person that you do not know very
well. It can be someone in your office, at a bar, a coffee shop,
wherever. Its best is to find a woman to assist you if possible,
however anyone will do. Tell them you are doing an experiment and
need their assistance.

Ask this person, (preferably a woman), to compliment you for 30

seconds.

What you will discover is this person is not complimenting with

purpose. They are complimenting to you without purpose. You will
also notice how false and unattractive they appear to be.

Then go ask a friend to give you a compliment about yourself. Not

about your looks but about the YOU that they know. See how
different that feels when they actually give a sincere compliment that
is based on knowing you. Their compliment was not empty.

FACT: An attractive woman will encounter false compliments and

compliments without purpose almost every day of her life.

To a woman, the compliments that really matter are the ones that
show you really get her and can see past her outside appearance.

For women who are attractive, they know they are attractive and
 

therefore have no need for compliments about their looks. What they
are attracted to are genuine compliments that go beyond the looks.

STORY

I recently did an interview with the Amanda Lyons, wife of Adam

Lyons. Adam Lyons is a rising star in the pickup and attraction
community. I have also met Adam many times - He is amazing with
women but more importantly he is one of the most confident and
consistent men I have ever met.

Amanda, is HOT. Not your average HOT but really HOT. She told me
that she has been hit on daily by men since the age of 12. Many of
these men have showered her with meaningless compliments and
offers to give her the world. These men repulsed Amanda because
they were not sincere and as a result caused her to build up a wall.

It wasn’t until she met Adam that her wall came crumbling down.
Adam did not compliment her the way other men did. He didn’t tell
her how beautiful she was or how sexy she was. Instead he talked to
her and listened to her words and then gave out compliments he felt
were deserved. He also did not compliment on her looks but he did
compliment her on her character.
 

Examples:

Here are some examples of how to compliment a woman’s character:

1. I can tell you have a really kind heart

2. You put up this tough exterior but I can tell you have a really
soft side
3. I bet people misunderstand you a lot
4. It’s nice to meet someone who actually cares about others

**Complimenting on character, or appreciating her for being her, is

the key component of connecting to women. It shows a woman
you get her and see something that others don’t see in her.
Something she may not even see in herself. This is what makes
women answer the phone the next day and want to see you again.
They become “addicted” to being seen and understood.

You can also compliment on little nuances.

1. You know your lip curls whenever you get nervous
2. I like how your eyes twinkle when you get excited

*These “lines” are to be used as guidance and direction.

 

What you need is to be aware of is WHY you are complimenting.

Next time you approach a woman think before you compliment and
ask yourself these questions.

Am I complimenting to make conversation?

Am I complimenting to break into conversation?
Am I complimenting to get a response from a woman?
Am I complimenting to make a woman like me?
Am I complimenting to get sex?

If you answer yes to any of these, then I am sorry to say what you are
doing is a form of manipulation. That’s right! You are using
compliments to get what you want.

Stop complimenting to get a response and compliment because you

really mean it. I guarantee it will improve your success with women!
 

Touch

This is the MOST important, basic rule of all. Touch is the difference
between “friend for life or lover every night!”

Touch is the silent way of telling a woman; I’m not talking to you so
that we can go shoe shopping tomorrow or that you can cry on my
shoulder about your ex-boyfriend.

Touch is silently telling a woman, I’m into you and I want to touch you
more – especially in really fun and dirty places.

RULE:
You must quickly establish yourself as a man who is comfortable with
touch.

Here is the thing, the longer you wait to begin touching a woman, the
more resistance you are going to face and the tougher it is going to
be to make the transition from “friend” to “lover”.

In fact, you may never even get a chance to start touching because
she might have already dismissed you as just another guy who she
has defined as a friend.
 

You can’t blame women for this. They get hit on by so many guys that
they have to make a decision pretty quickly as to whether or not they
want to keep talking to you.

If she views you as a friend, she is going to respond to you as a

friend. But if you make her view you as a lover or a sexual option, she
will start to view you that way.

That’s why establishing touch early on in an interaction with a woman

is key.

General Rules For Touching:

1. Make sure you touch a woman at least 1 time during a 2-3

minute conversation.
2. Do not touch for longer than 2-3 seconds. Lingering touch is
creepy.
3. Do not over touch. If you touch too many times (more than 5
times in a 2-3 minute conversation) then you are an over-
toucher, which says “friend”.

4. Areas to touch: small of back, shoulder, knee (if sitting),

forearm.
5. NOTE: If you are not comfortable touching, girls will not be
comfortable being touched.
 

6. Touch when you are giving a compliment. This gives women a

landing point.
7. Most important rule: Pay attention to how a woman responds to
your touch. The first time she may tense up or freeze, that’s
normal. But if she does that the second time, hold off on all
touching until the woman is more comfortable with you.

How to Talk to Women

Now you’ve just started a conversation with a beautiful woman you

met and I don’t want you to stop there. I want you to have great
conversations with women: not pointless small talk, but real
interactions that will help you to truly connect with them.

In this section I’m going to be helping you to develop your

conversational skills.

We’ll be tackling:

 What are the best kind of questions to ask

 How to expand on what you’re saying
 How to truly connect with a woman on a deeper level
 How to ask a good question

What are the best kinds of questions to ask?

Women (like most people) LOVE to talk about themselves and their
 

opinions. It makes them feel stronger and heard. Your job when you
ask a question is to ask one that gets her to express a longer
response.

You don’t want to ever ask a question that could be answered with
just a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ response. The goal is to get her opinion on
something.

So instead of asking, “Do you like chocolate?” which has a yes or no

answer make it a broader question: “ If you could have 1 type of
snack food what would it be and why?”

Then instead of getting a ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’ you may get a detailed

answer like this one:

“Chocolate is my favorite type of snack food and if was allowed only

one snack it would be a king size Twix bar! This candy reminds me of
my childhood.”

Do you see the difference?

Question #1 is an uninvolved question and #2 evokes a feeling.

Remember I said that having a good conversation is like dancing with

a woman, and that women crave a man they can “feel?”

Asking questions that evoke a better response in a woman will allow

 

you to actively listen and make the next move in the dance. In
addition it lets her feel you. This in turn gives her an idea/image of
who you are.

This is how you guide and lead effective conversation. Lead a woman
towards a feeling rather than just a simple response.

It will also take a little time before a woman feels warmed up and
ready to speak to you. Women’s real responses come into play about
15 seconds after they start to speak. The first 15 seconds are how
they initially “THINK” they feel and after the 15 seconds their real
thoughts and emotions are released. So the more you make a
woman talk, the more she will give you accurate responses and feel
connected to you.

How to expand on what you’re saying to create attraction

Sometimes when you’re speaking to someone new it can also be

difficult for you to say your real thoughts. You may feel ‘put on the
spot’. If this happens then you may not speak to a woman in as much
detail as you’d like, and the conversation will fall flat.

Recently I was speaking to Hayley Quinn, (my UK Wing Girl and

Dating Coach) and she had some simple, but effective, advice to
share on how to keep the conversation going and create more
attraction while you’re doing it!
 

Below is a summary of the key points we discussed but you can listen
to the full audio discussion in Section 3 of How To Become A Man
Women Want (How to Maintain Conversation with Women Part B).

1. Women are so often attracted by what they hear. Talking to a

woman successfully is vital to creating attraction: it tells her what
qualities you have as a man, suggests what your lifestyle is like and
talks volumes about your compatibility.

2. Talking to women can be a challenging skill to master. However, to

be a great conversationalist with women, you have to talk to a
woman, as a woman. You have to leave your logical, factual tone in
the boardroom and connect with her emotionally - or you will lose a
woman’s interest every time.

Women tend to talk to one another in a way that is more expressive,

emotive and descriptive.

I’m not going to lie to you; talking to women is a bit of an art, which
some guys find much easier than others (now at least you know why
song writers always get the girl!)

3. One tip that will instantly create more attraction in how you talk to
women is simply remembering that little word ‘because’. By adding
‘because’ to your conversations you will be forced to get more
descriptive and detailed. It’s the difference between:
 

‘London is amazing.’

And ‘London is amazing BECAUSE I love all of the hidden hole-in-

the-wall restaurants you can discover.’

Boom! The second statement will be so much easier for her to

respond to as there are so many more topics of conversation to talk
about: restaurants, exploring a city, free time, London.

By expanding how you talk (using ‘because’) women will find that
they can talk to you much more easily and in greater detail in return.
As a result you can quickly paint them a picture of your lifestyle and
you’ll also have a much more engaging conversation all round - a
conversation that will create lots of attraction!

Getting great at talking to women is also like working a muscle for the
first time. To get this attraction you’re going to have to re-train your
tongue to speak slightly differently. Start using ‘because’ to expand
your statements. When you effectively do this you’ll notice that you’ll
start getting stronger connections fast.

By making one simple change to how you’re speaking with people,

and by expanding on what you say, you can greatly improve how
much you’re able to say, and hopefully how much she will be able to
say back to you in return.
 

Remember that women love talking about themselves, so use both

statements and questions that expand the conversation. Finally,
make sure and “listen” to her responses!

How to Connect with Women on a Deeper Level

While there are no ‘magic bullet’ topics of conversation, it does pay to

make a woman talk emotionally. When she does this it means that
she is speaking about things she really cares about, and is
connecting with you.

I recently worked with a wonderful man named Joe. Joe is constantly

trying to better himself with women and people in general. From time
to time he will send me email reports of research and findings.

One time Joe had written me to tell me about some recent research
he had done on finding women’s happy places. No, I am talking
about that happy place, I am talking about assisting a woman in
locating a memory, or feeling, that really makes her happy.

I thought I would share Joe’s research email with you; as it gives

great guidance on how to lead a conversation towards emotional
responses that will make a woman feel a deep connection to you.
 

Joe’s Email:

Marni,

I have been experimenting with really listening to women and trying to

find out more about them. From this I have discovered that I like to
make women happy by taking a fond childhood memory and making
her aware of it.

My fondest childhood memory is baseball, when I was young I was

really good at baseball. I was better than most of the other kids. So,
whenever someone talks about Little League Baseball or I see a
game being played, it brings back positive feelings! Big Time. My
social value was higher at that time. I was much better than the other
kids.

The other night I tried this out with women to see if they had a similar
response. Here are the 10 steps I took to discover a woman’s happy
place!

1. I started talking to her and found that she loved music. She was
aware that she loved music, so I had to work from there to find
something from her childhood that brought good memories/feelings
and make her aware of it. If she's already aware of it, then the
technique doesn't work.

2. Next, I probe a little more about the things she did when she was
 

a child or teenager.

3. Next, I look for what reoccurs and her excitement level of each
thing she mentions. I keep probing without being annoying.

4. With this particular girl, dancing kept reoccurring. She also showed
micro-expressions of positive flashbacks to "good times" in her life
when dancing.

5. I said, "Do you want to know something? Dancing is YOUR thing."

6. She looks away (in thought) and says, "You're right".

7. I said, "You don't have a bad memory of when you were dancing...
do you?"

8. She smiled BIG and said, "You're right! Oh my God. I didn't even
realize that!"

9. Then, I back off and let it flow. I helped her become AWARE of
something, which makes me seem "smart" and of "high social value".

In fact, I'm not "smart". I'm just very aware! Since I'm more aware
than most people, I "feel" of higher social value...thus comes
confidence. It all connects. Gain awareness = gain in confidence =
fearless = attracting women.
 

Joe

EXERCISE:
Use Joe’s 9 steps listed above and do the same research he has
done with 10 women. Take note of how women respond. How their
body reacts and how their comfort level with you changes.

NOTE:
During this exercise, really know (and own) that you are leading a
woman to become aware of something within her. Showing that you
can “get” a woman or that you really “understand” her on a deeper
level will result in a stronger connection to you.

The above exercise will also help you remain present in your
conversations with women. This means, it will get you out of our head
and into the moment. When you are a present man, women will feel
it, and they will be attracted to it. Because a present man is one that
is calm, cool, collected, comfortable and easy to connect to - that is
exactly what women want.

Conversation with women is about finding a connecting point and if

you are too wrapped up in your own head, you leave little room for
connection.
 

There are a couple of audio’s listed in Section 3 of How To Become A

Man Women Want that really expand on this concept of connecting
(#3 How To Build Connections to Women).

As a woman, I know that if you do not connect to a woman, you will

never see her again!

You Can Walk Away Too!

Many times, men forget that they can walk away from the
conversation as well! In fact, walking away will actually attract a
woman more.

Let’s break this down into three scenarios:

#1 – You are talking to a girl and realize “Eh! Not so into her”.

While in conversation with a beautiful woman, you decide, I’m not into
her and this conversation is kind of boring.

Here’s what you do: You politely excuse yourself and walk away. “I’m
going to get back to my friends now, but it’s been great talking to
you”.

If you decide to engage her again, it’s up to you.

 

#2 – You decide you are into this woman but conversation is

slowing down and you are loosing steam.

As I said before, disengaging is super-sexy and attractive to women. I

work with so many men and I find that many of them are fearful that if
they disengage from a girl they are into, they may lose her to
competition or she may forget about them. This is not true at all! You
will lose them and unless they are really into you, they will get turned
off by you if they can tell you are hanging around them for territorial
reasons.

For now, use this rule when in conversation:

RULE:

Engage in conversation for a maximum of 2-3 minutes

For your practice and learning, keep all conversation with women, to
a 2-3 minute maximum. Then disengage, compose yourself, get re-
energized, mingle and re-engage but only if you want.

#3 - You’re not sure if you are into this woman

Truth is, after 2-3 minutes of conversation, you shouldn’t be

absolutely certain if you are “into” the woman you are talking to. You
may learn she’s fun, funny, interesting/smart, and incredibly hot, or
 

not. But know that it’s OK for you to have options.

Remember, you had a life before you ever met this woman, SO
RESPECT IT!

If you respect it, she’ll respect you and find you more attractive.

Remember to disengage and come back - but only if you want.

Marni’s Secrets to Sealing the Deal:

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

Congratulations! You now you know how to approach a woman,

attract a woman and start conversations with women that are
attractive to her. But what do you do next? You go out and use this
knowledge to get the women you have always wanted.

If you need me, I am here for you to answer every one of your
questions.

All you have to do is email me at [email protected] and within

24 hours you’ll get a response.

Go out and practice by doing the exercises. I promise that very soon
you will be able to attract any woman you want!