Homework Post #7: Managing Negative Emotions

Skill Practice Reflection:

Because I have two midterms next week, I wanted to finish all of my homework on

Saturday so I can focus on studying on Sunday and Monday. As I was planning my Saturday, I

could feel myself becoming overwhelmed with the amount of work I would have to finish.

Initially, I wanted to suppress this feeling because I knew that if I continued to allow my stress to

take over, then I would check out and not be able to work at all. I then reflected on the skills I

learned in class that Wednesday, and decided to ride the wave. First, I observed the stress I was

feeling and attempted to notice it. It was difficult to separate myself from the feelings because of

how overwhelmed I was in general. I then observed where in my body I was feeling emotional

sensations. I could feel my brain jumbled, the stiffness of my shoulders, and some anxiety sitting

in my chest. When I tried to experience these sensations fully, I was able to observe much more

than the first step. I was more one-mindful and non-judgemental in this practice, allowing myself

to be one with these sensations and attempting to not jump to any conclusions from them. After

this point, I was able to divide myself from my emotions and remember when I felt differently. I

reminisced to the day before when I was playing Mario Kart with my friends, having fun and

feeling happy. Finally, I accepted my emotions and my current state, and got back to work. I

believe it was good for me to use riding the wave since I was also able to use my mindfulness

skills as well, which both helped me to come back into Wise mind.

A wish I have for the next four weeks is to start off my morning by listing three positive

things in daily life, which will help me have a positive to negative ratio of 3 to 1. If I were to

accomplish this, I will always begin my days in a positive mindset, making it easier to live a
more positive life. An internal obstacle I might have is waking up in a bad mood, immediately

putting myself in a negative headspace. If I were to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, then I

will do the opposite action! Instead of giving in to my negative thoughts, I will put my all into

my list of positive things and try to be very elaborate in my practice. By forcing myself to do the

practice, I don’t let my negative emotions to outweigh my positive emotions, allowing myself to

strive towards the 3 to 1 ratio. An external obstacle would be me forgetting to do the practice. If I

am scared that I am going to forget, then I will begin with putting a daily reminder on my phone

to write my list. As I continue to do this list every morning, it will soon become routine for me

and I won’t have to remind myself anymore.

Quiz Section Reflection:

My quiz section group decided to talk about the frustration of roommates who take things

without asking. As they continue to take your stuff and not do anything to compensate for it, you

would then become angry and would want to lash out at them or send them a passive aggressive

text. However, that would just make your relationship with your roommate more tense. We then

went through the emotion response road map and started off by checking the facts. The facts of

the situation were that we would buy stuff for ourselves, like makeup wipes or chips. We then

would realize that even when wouldn’t use these things, the amount we had kept on decreasing.

Our first interpretation would be that someone else is eating them, and because we share my

room with only one other person, then it would have to be that person who ate them. Another

interpretation is that we were just forgetful and don’t recall how much we’ve used or eaten. A

contradiction with this interpretation however is that the amount decreases daily, and it isn’t just

a one time thing. We all came to the conclusion that the emotion did fit the facts, which meant
we would problem solve. Our solution to this problem was to hide our belongings that our

roommate was using so they wouldn’t have the opportunity to take them anymore.

Another scenario would be me anxious for a midterm the next day that I haven’t studied

for. At this point, I would be panicking, trying to figure out what to do. I would want to avoid the

midterm by simply not showing up to it. In this case, while it is normal to feel anxious in this

situation, its intensity is not effective for my goal of doing as well as I could. I check the facts of

my situation by first identifying the emotion I want to change: my anxiety. The event prompting

this emotion is a midterm coming up which I don’t want to fail. The facts of my situation would

be that I have not studied enough where I feel confident in my abilities, there is not enough time

for me to cram, and I don’t know the material well. With this, I believe I am interpreting the

situation correctly and my emotions do fit the facts, but the intensity of them doesn’t. I would

then do the opposite action all the way. I would study as much as I could the day before, make

sure to get a good night’s sleep, eat a good breakfast, get to the exam room 20 minutes early, sit

in my seat confidently, take the test, and talk to my professor after. Instead of doing what my

anxiety wanted me to do, which is completely avoid the situation, I would take the test like I

would ace it.

In this example, I was making assumptions such as there is not enough time to cram and I

don’t know the material well. If I were to study at least a little before, like I said, then I could

clarify how well I truly understood the material and how much time I really had.

Gratitude Practice:

Something I am grateful for accomplishing is going to all my classes everyday this week.

I was mentally exhausted this entire week, barely able to get out of bed every morning. I would
constantly tell myself “It wouldn’t hurt to miss ONE lecture” and, “Do I really HAVE to go?”

Even after reasoning myself that nothing bad would happen if I did miss one class, I still got out

of bed each time and went to every class no matter how much I didn’t want to. I would also

reason with myself throughout the day, questioning how bad it would be if I missed my Physics

lecture. Although at those moments I would be mad at myself knowing that I could be in my

cozy bed, I would never regret going after. I know how easy it is to get in the habit of skipping,

which is why I force myself to go to each class no matter what. I’m grateful that I still stayed

consistent with my value of education and focused on my goal instead of instant gratifications.

Lecture + Reading Reflection:

Something that resonated with me during lecture is that our emotions are always valid.

I’ve always thought that me feeling any negative emotion is just me being weak and not knowing

how to suck it up. I now know how toxic that mindset is and how it leads to me never

understanding how to regulate my emotions in a healthy way. I’ve learned that it’s okay to feel!

My initial feeling towards a situation is valid! However, the way I go about the situation is what

truly matters. If I decide to give in to what my emotions want, then I will never learn how to

regulate them. While it is normal to want to live through your emotions, it is healthier to notice

those emotions, accept them, and live with them instead of through them.

One thing from the readings that is helpful is learning how to nurture my relationships.

Since I am a freshman from out-of-state, it’s important for me to keep in touch with my

relationships back home and attempt to create new relationships here. Figuring out ways in
which I can both give and take in these relationships, such as checking up and listening to them,

is very beneficial for me.