Lone Wolves Pitch Bible PDF
Lone Wolves Pitch Bible PDF
Lone Wolves Pitch Bible PDF
FRONT COVER
WHAT IS LONE WOLVES?
Lone Wolves is a gentle prod at life’s foibles as three modern-minded men share a small
suburban townhouse and struggle, hand in hand, to find their place in the world--
e
NO IT ISN’T
These are VIOLENT MEN. TOUGH. BROODING.
HANDSOME MEN. These men don’t share nothin’ but the
utility bill. They know what they want and what they want is for
you to BACK OFF. They’re JAZZED UP and STEAMED and if
someone gets hurt
THAT’S TOO BAD.
The series takes the form of several 3-4 minute 2D animated episodes, chronicling the
exploits of three implausibly rugged men as they attempt to co-exist and function in
normal society.
MEET THE WOLVES.
Too tough for the modern world; incapable of travelling back in time,The Lone Wolves are three of a kind in a deck
full of jokers. They’ll huff and they’ll puff and they’ll punch you in the face.
World-weary rebel without a cause, Mich main- Grizzled long-haul trucker, Ham knows the score Paranoid gun-for-hire, Boston thinks with his fists
tains a consistent level of obnoxiousness to and he ain’t afraid to speak it. As the only Wolf and they ain’t too smart. He is a dedicated fan of
keep people out of his face. Struggling to find with a modicum of self-control he is often forced conspiracy theories and military spying equipment
anyone who will tolerate his hostile attitude, he to assume responsibility for the Wolves’ actions, and spends the majority of his time preparing for
is constantly between part time jobs and turbu- but push him too far and he won’t hesitate to bust the impending Russian invasion that he read about
lent relationships with impossibly sexy women. some heads. on the internet once.
All Mich wants is peace but life keeps givin’ him Ham likes to participate in Civil War re-enactments Boston knows the world’s against him, but he
lemons. And he don’t like lemonade. but since The Incident he isn’t allowed within 300 means to score a knock-out.
yards of anyone dressed as Ulysses S. Grant.
Favourite historical figure: Han Solo. Favourite passtime: Shooting wildly into the air.
Favourite food: Bear.
PUBLIC TRANSPORT
After trashing their rides on the way to a monster
truck rally, the Wolves each attempt to make their
own way to the show.
CHICK
The three Wolves compete for the affections of
Phoenix Arizona, an old flame who has recently been
released from prison.
FADE IN:
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
SCRIPTS -- “LANDLORD” 2.
MICH
I got it.
Loud heavy metal blares from a beaten old cassette player.
MICH and BOSTON sit, arm wrestling over a table littered He flips the girls off of the mattress and then dumps it on
with broken bottles and bear traps. top of them, their legs and arms poking out from
underneath. He dusts off his hands.
BLAM! The door flies open and HAMMOND enters.
HAM crosses to the window.
HAMMOND
Guys, what the hell!? You were HAMMOND
s’posed to clean up today! Why’s it so dark in here?
BOSTON looks up. He draws the curtains -- a crude doodle of a window has
been drawn onto the bare brick wall behind them, complete
BOSTON with clouds and a sun. HAM closes them again.
What?
POW! POW! POW! The far wall is suddenly riddled with bullet
HAMMOND holes.
It’s inspection day! The
landlord’s comin’ in 20 minutes HAMMOND (CONT’D)
and this place is dirtier than What the hell?!
Boston’s ball sack.
INT. BOSTON’S ROOM - CONT’D
We pan across the room -- the oil-stained floor is hidden
beneath heaps of scrap metal, dirty magazines and empty WHAM! The door slams open, HAMMOND and MICH enter.
beer bottles.
MICH
MICH Boston, what the fuck!?
I never heard about no
inspection! BOSTON stands in the middle of his room, firing a pistol at
the wall.
HAMMOND
I put the letter on the notice BOSTON
board two weeks ago! I heard voices in the wall!
He gestures to a large dartboard on the far wall -- dozens HAMMOND
of unpaid bills and important papers are pinned to it with That was us! Moron!
a variety of knives and arrows. The inspection notice sits
in the centre, tacked on with a tomahawk. BOSTON
Don’t call me a moron!
HAM stomps off down the corridor.
BOSTON points the gun at them -- HAM slaps it out of his
HAMMOND (CONT’D) hand. It fires as it hits the floor, shooting the lock on
Come on. BOSTON’s wardrobe. The doors swing open and an avalanche of
swords, firearms and explosives pours out across the floor.
INT. MICH’S ROOM - CONT’D
BOSTON (CONT’D)
HAM flicks on the light switch -- an old lava lamp comes on Great, I just cleaned that up!
in the corner of the room. MICH’s room is sparsely
decorated, a few posters on the cracked walls, a drum kit HAMMOND
in one corner and a dirty mattress in the middle, complete Uh-huh, and what are you gonna do
with two sleeping girls and an empty beer keg. about that?
HAMMOND He points the far end of the room where the front of a
We gotta get these chicks outta Cadillac is jutting through a demolished wall. BOSTON
here. dismisses it with a wave of his hand.
BOSTON
SCRIPTS -- “LANDLORD”
3. 4.
BOSTON
What? You broke my wardrobe!
Where else was I s’posed to put
‘em?!
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONT’D
BOSTON
That went well.
MICH
Yeah, pretty well.
BOSTON
Is my ballsack really that bad?
HAMMOND MICH
Yeah. Yeah, dude. Yes.
FADE IN:
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
SCRIPTS -- “PUBLIC TRANSPORT” 2.
BLIND MAN
I’m blind. HAM’s head sizzles as his poorly designed steel hat reaches
oven-like temperatures under the sun’s glare.
BOSTON
Yeah, I’m pretty wasted too. A small pack of vultures amble around him, pecking at his
feet. He waves an arm lazily, mumbling to himself.
EXT. BUS STOP - CONT’D
HAMMOND
HAM stands in the baking sun, staring blankly down the Get outta here ya...
road.
CLOP! CLOP! A noise from beyond a nearby cactus patch grabs
He turns to the bench beside the bus stop -- a bleached HAMMOND’s attention. He pulls himself up, shuffling
skeleton in a Monster Truck Rally ‘82 t-shirt flops against towards the source of the sound. With sunburnt hands, he
the back rest. HAM pulls it up by the forearm, checking the parts the cacti. A majestic black unicorn with a sword for
time on its battered old wristwatch. a horn stands nobly in the clearing. It snorts and a plume
of flame erupts from its nose.
He sighs and squints up at the blazing desert sun. Wiping
sweat from his brow, he grabs a piece of scrap metal from HAMMOND (CONT’D)
the broken timetable and folds it into a crude sun hat, Brutal.
slotting it onto his head.
The unicorn turns to him and begins to speak.
INT. CAR - CONT’D
UNICORN
MICH sits crammed into the backseat of a family sedan next Hammond Indiana, it is your
to a sad-looking six-year-old girl. Her parents sit in the destiny... to see this monster
front seat bickering noisily. truck rally! Climb upon my back,
let us witness this glory
As the row intensifies, MICH turns to the daughter. together.
She nods again. We cut back to reality -- HAMMOND hobbles madly down the
road, straddling a huge cactus.
He puts two cigarettes in his mouth, lights them and then
hands one to the little girl. HAMMOND
I always knew you’d come back!
INT. COACH - CONT’D
INT. AMBULANCE - CONT’D
The elderly passengers of the coach, smoosh their faces
against the window with glee and the vehicle slows to a MICH sits in the front seat beside a cheery paramedic.
stop. Behind them, his partner works away at an off-screen
patient, blood spraying up at him.
The driver’s voice comes in over the PA system.
PARAMEDIC PARTNER
DRIVER Doug, he won’t stop bleeding!
Here we are folks, the world- What shall I do?
famous Museum of Teacups!
PARAMEDIC DRIVER
The old people whoop. BOSTON’s jaw falls open. Just give him a minute, he’ll run
out eventually.
He turns to MICH.
SCRIPTS -- “PUBLIC TRANSPORT”
5. 6.
MICH
Damn it!
PARAMEDIC DRIVER (CONT’D)
So where did you say you were He throws the usher aside and turns away.
headed?
HAMMOND appears, straddling the cactus and laughing.
MICH
Monster truck rally. HAMMOND
We made it, buddy! We made it!
PARAMEDIC PARTNER
Man, that’s way cooler than the MICH
hospital! Let’s go there! Ham, what the hell?!
PARAMEDIC DRIVER The PARAMEDIC pops up, syringe in hand.
Road trip!
PARAMEDIC
They high-five. The operating paramedic leans in from the I got it.
back of the ambulance.
He jams it in HAM’s neck. HAM snaps out of it -- he looks
PARAMEDIC PARTNER down at the cactus between his legs and then up at MICH.
Hey, Mich, can you wing me a
heart from that cooler. HAMMOND
Did we miss it?
He shoots the driver a cheeky wink.
MICH
MICH opens a medical kit on the dashboard -- it’s full of Yep.
beers.
HAMMOND
PARAMEDIC DRIVER PARAMEDIC PARTNER Fuckin’ unicorn.
WHOOOOOO! WHOOOOOO!
MICH looks up as BOSTON arrives, a teacup-shaped hat upon
MICH smiles and tosses bottles to the paramedics. They his head.
clink drinks and the DRIVER hits the siren.
MICH
EXT. STADIUM - CONT’D We missed it, Bos.
The ambulance skids off the road and slams into a tree. BOSTON scoffs.
MICH and the paramedics tumble out the back.
BOSTON
MICH runs to the entrance, grabbing a nearby usher. Pft, monster trucks? I got
somethin’ that’ll make you forget
MICH all about monster trucks.
Is it over?! Did we make it?!
INT. TEACUP MUSEUM - CONT’D
USHER
You did not. MICH, HAMMOND and BOSTON -- all dressed in teacup
merchandise -- stare ecstatically at a display of 18th
A strongman emerges from the stadium, spinning a burning century cups and saucers.
tyre.
HAMMOND
STRONGMAN Man, Boston, you weren’t kidding.
You missed quite a show!
MICH
A bunch of truck fans file out behind him, clutching Yeah it’s like... You know what
various car parts and severed limbs. MICH watches, we don’t use enough?
crestfallen as the bounty is carried past his face.
FADE IN:
EXT. PRISON - EVENING
SCRIPTS -- “CHICK” 2.
GUARD He reaches to open the door for her -- she gets there
You stay outta trouble now, first, slamming it hard into his face. He staggers back,
Phoenix. bumping into the owner of the smashed pickup.
ARIZONA turns towards him and grabs her crotch. PICKUP GUY
Your bike trashed my truck!
ARIZONA
I got your trouble right here! HAMMOND
That ain’t my-
The gates creak shut as she approaches MICH.
WHAM! The man socks him square in the jaw. HAM snaps -- he
MICH charges at the barfly, ramming him face-first into the
Hey Arizona! Hi! You look nice! remains of his truck. The man disengages his head from the
truck’s door and dives at HAM.
ARIZONA
You look like shit on balls. INT. DIVE BAR - CONT’D
Where’s your bike?
ARIZONA crosses the room. Huge men in wife-beaters and
MICH dirty denim swill bottles of beer as they leer at a couple
It’s right over here, Arizona! of sorry looking strippers. ARIZONA snatches a beer from
one of them as she passes, downs it and slaps it into the
He gestures to his motorcycle parked nearby. hand of a weedy patron. The owner of the beer turns,
looking for the culprit and plows a fist into the
MICH (CONT’D) unsuspecting drunk’s face.
I got us a table at your
favourite dive bar, it’s- ARIZONA flops down in a booth opposite BOSTON -- she frowns
taking in the baby-blue velour tux that he’s opted to wear.
VRRRRMMM! ARIZONA takes off on MICH’s bike, tearing down
the highway. MICH looks on. BOSTON
Hey Arizona! You look great! How
MICH (CONT’D) was your vacation!
(whispered)
I fuckin’ love her. ARIZONA
I was in the pen you dumbass.
EXT. DIVE BAR - CONT’D
BOSTON
Heavy metal blares from within the bar. A flashing neon Oo-la-la! Is that near France?
sign reads GIRLS! STEAKS! BEER!
ARIZONA snaps her fingers -- a waitress arrives.
HAMMOND stands outside dressed in a black waistcoat,
complete with a carnation in the lapel, a box of chocolates ARIZONA
under his arm. Two steaks. Rare, like a good
man. Am I right?
SCRIPTS -- “CHICK”
3. 4.
She laughs. The waitress giggles. ARIZONA stops dead and MICH
fixes the waitress with a steely glare. The waitress backs Awesome job! High five!
away.
He raises a hand. ARIZONA ignores it, picking her teeth
The door swings open -- HAMMOND enters, shirt ripped, face with the knife that was recently removed from HAM’s guts.
bloodied. He approaches the booth and catches sight of She chucks the knife and pulls herself up.
BOSTON. They exchange a stern stare.
ARIZONA
ARIZONA (CONT’D) I’m gonna go take a piss.
What’s the matter chief, ain’t
you been on a double date before? She heads out the front door. The Wolves watch her leave.
HAM pulls a knife out of his side and drops it on the MICH
table. So are you guys gonna fuck off
now? I don’t like performin’ with
HAMMOND an audience.
Normally that means two chicks-
HAMMOND
ARIZONA Me fuck off? We’ve had this date
That’s why I invited you. Sit planned for weeks. You clowns
down. better back off if you wanna keep
your teeth.
HAM sighs and slides into the booth next to BOSTON.
BOSTON
BOSTON smirks. HAM turns to him. Hey, if anyone should fuck off
it’s you guys. You know how much
HAMMOND it cost to rent this sweet tux?
You look like Liberace’s jizz
sock. MICH
Oh yeah, that was money well
The waitress returns with two huge, bloody steaks and spent. That suit’s almost as shit
deposits them on the table. as Ham’s mullet.
ARIZONA grabs BOSTON’s plate and flips his steak on top of HAMMOND
hers. She picks up the double-stacked steak and proceeds to Hey, at least we aren’t dumb
devour it like a sandwich. enough to get our rides jacked
up.
HAMMOND (CONT’D)
What a woman. MICH
Pft, as if she’d wanna take your
The door opens again and MICH trudges in, tracking mud and lame-ass rides.
missing one of his shoes. He pulls a snake out of his hair
and tosses it aside -- it flies through the air and hits a BOSTON pulls himself up.
stripper in the face.
BOSTON
He approaches the booth, sour-faced. You know what guys? I’m just
gonna go ask her! I’m gonna
MICH straighten this whole thing out.
Which of you nutsacks totaled my
bike? He heads for the door.
MICH and HAM watch BOSTON’s car vanish over the horizon.
MICH
What a moron.
HAMMOND
Yeah, the things some fools will
do for a dame.
WHAM! ARIZONA kicks the door open, a bag of money and a gun
in her hands. Sirens blare from outside the bar. She runs
over to the booth.
ARIZONA
Hey, Mich, baby, will you hold
this for me?
She tosses the gun into his lap.
MICH
Sure! Sure I will!
HAMMOND
What, nothin’ for me?
ARIZONA
Here!
She chucks him a bloody baseball bat -- a severed hand
still clinging on to it. HAM grins.
She runs out the back door. They watch her go, smiling.
MICH
Man, Boston’s gonna be so
jealous.
FUTURE EPISODE IDEAS
MAILMAN
Convinced that the the mailman is against him after
his package is repeatedly delayed, Boston steals his
sack of letters and is left with the responsibility of
delivering them all himself.
PINK
After washing a red shirt with their whites, the
Wolves are left with nothing but embarrassingly pink
clothing. Deciding to go topless rather than bare the
humiliation, the Wolves are refused entry to all their
favourite haunts.
MOVIE NIGHT
Disappointed with their choice of film at the cinema,
the Wolves attempt to sneak into the other screens
to get their money’s worth.
WRITTEN BY
EXPERIENCE TOM GRAN & MARTIN WOOLLEY
DIRECTOR
TOM GRAN
PRODUCTION COMPANY
WONKY FILMS
8a Willway Street
Bristol BS34BG
tel: 01179537740
email: [email protected]