PGM0120: Session 9 (writing 2)

Extension worksheet 2
John Morgan
Language and Learning Centre, University of Wales Aberystwyth

1. The CARS (Create a Research Space) model for writing academic

introductions (John Swales, 1990)

 Move 1: Establishing a territory

Step 1 Claiming centrality and/or
Step 2 Making topic generalizations and/or
Step 3 Reviewing items of previous research

 Move 2: Establishing a niche

Step 1a Counter-claiming or
Step 1b Indicating a gap or
Step 1c Question-raising or
Step 1d Continuing a tradition

 Move 3: Occupying the niche

Step 1a Outlining purposes or
Step 1b Announcing present research
Step 2 Announcing principle findings
Step 3 Indicating Research article structure

Move 1: Establishing a territory

Providing background information that previews the main issue or problem

that you will discuss.

As your text narrows from general to specific, the need to convince your
reader of your claims is declining.

An example of Step 1: Claiming centrality

• Many public opinion surveys confirm that Americans expect school leaders to
focus on two top priorities: keeping children safe and increasing student
achievement. At a time when Internet usage among children and adults is rising
dramatically, however, these priorities sometimes may seem contradictory. Is it
possible for schools to protect students from inappropriate content without
denying them access to engaging and valuable educational content? Can adults
craft approaches that strike a balance between safe and smart Internet usage by
children? These questions are at the crux of the dilemma we face with increasing
frequency and urgency.

Safe and Smart: Research and Guidelines for Children’s Use of the Internet http://www.nsbf.org/safe-
smart/full-report.htm

An example of Step 2: Making topic generalizations

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• The Internet poses a singular challenge for public school leaders and parents.

Safe and Smart: Research and Guidelines for Children’s Use of the Internet http://www.nsbf.org/safe-
smart/full-report.htm

An example of Step 3: Reviewing items of previous research

• Several researchers [2] have reported that managers are wary of information
technology (IT) and display considerable variation in the patterns and levels of
microcomputer usage.
Lakhanpal, B. (1994). “Assessing the Factors Related to Microcomputer Usage by Middle Managers”.
International Journal of Information Management, 14/1 (39-50).

Move 2: Establishing a niche

Identifying the main issue or problem area that you will discuss, from the
perspective of your aims.

As you identify the main issue or problem in relation to the background

information in your first move, you should be questioning or challenging
existing claims to knowledge

An example of Step 1a: Counter-claiming

• This article argues that learner autonomy should not be seen as a goal only for
highly committed students completing optional courses, or for students operating
within selected educational or cultural contexts. Rather, it should be seen as an
essential goal of all learning.

Cotterall, S. (2000). “Promoting Learner Autonomy through the Curriculum: Principles for Designing
Language Courses”. ELT Journal 54/2, Pp. 109-117.

An example of Step 1b: Indicating a gap

• Until now, this dilemma has been complicated by a dearth of credible information.
There was a lack of good data about where children access the Internet, what
they do once they're connected, what kinds of sites they visit, and how much
adult supervision and guidance they receive, among many other basic issues.
Nor did we know much about parents' perceptions of and expectations for their
children's Internet usage. Without sound research, there is a tendency to react to
the headlines and hype of the moment – and that tack may not result in wise
school policymaking and parental oversight.
Safe and Smart: Research and Guidelines for Children’s Use of the Internet http://www.nsbf.org/safe-
smart/full-report.htm

An example of Step 1c: Question-raising

• Given the increasingly heavy dependence on microcomputers within today’s

organizations, and the discretionary nature of their use, it is vitally important to

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 examine the factors that influence the variation in managerial microcomputer
usage.

Lakhanpal, B. (1994). “Assessing the Factors Related to Microcomputer Usage by Middle Managers”.
International Journal of Information Management, 14/1 (39-50).

An example of Step 1d: Continuing a tradition

• The main task proposed here is centred on student-written reading logs. The
original idea comes from Benton and Fox (1985: 121), who were writing for first
language contexts. […] Below is a rationale for reader response theory in
general, and for reading logs as a practical application of the theory.

Carlisle, A. (2000). “Reading Logs: An Application of Reader-Response Theory in ELT”. ELT Journal
54/1, Pp. 12-19.

Move 3: Occupying the niche

Indicating the contents, structure and/or aims of your paper in relation to the
background information and main issue.

In relation to the background information and main problem or issue you have
presented in moves 1 and 2, you should now be identifying the explicit focus
of the paper

An example of Step 1a: Outlining purposes

• This paper tries to throw light on what a follow-up system of the kind Rudduck
outlines might look like in Practice. Our ideas stem mainly from a recent ELT
INSET project located within the state secondary school sector, but we feel that
the principles involved are relevant to a wide variety of ELT settings.
Waters, A. & Vilches, M.L.C. (2000). “Integrating Teacher learning: The School-based Follow-up
Development Activity”. ELT Journal, 54/2, Pp. 126-134.

An example of Step 1b: Announcing present research

• Against this backdrop, the National School Boards Foundation worked with
Grunwald Associates, a leading market research and consulting firm specializing
in technology, to develop an unprecedented national survey of parents and
children. The Dieringer Research Group conducted the survey and tabulated the
data. With generous support from the Children's Television Workshop and
Microsoft Corporation, we surveyed a significantly large random sample of 1,735
households nationwide to learn about children's Internet usage. In telephone
interviews, we asked parents of children aged two to 17 a number of questions
about the role the Internet plays in their children's lives. We also asked children
themselves, aged nine to 17, from the same households, for a reality check on
the role of the Internet in their own lives.

Safe and Smart: Research and Guidelines for Children’s Use of the Internet http://www.nsbf.org/safe-
smart/full-report.htm
An example of Step 2: Announcing principle findings

• There were 13 subjects in each group. When we compared our dyslexics with
these other three groups on a range of cognitive and reading tasks we found that
they differed in a number of respects.

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 Ellis, A.W., Mc Dougall, S.J.P. & Monk, A.F. (1997). “Are Dyslexics Different? III. Of Course They
Are!” Dyslexia, 3/1, Pp. 2-8.

An example of Step 3: Indicating research article structure

• The article starts with an outline of the main approaches currently being applied
to teach reading. This is followed by a pilot case study relating to kindergarten
children, and an explanation of the results obtained. Finally, other groups of
children are identified who would benefit if more emphasis were given to reading
in the programmes they follow.

Dlugosz, D.W. (2000). “Rethinking the Role of Reading in Teaching a Foreign Language to Young
Learners”. ELT Journal, 54/3, Pp. 284-290.

2. Research articles vs. dissertations and theses

The above format is a common way of structuring a research article, which

works well for shorter assignment introductions or journal articles. Essentially
anything less than 5000 words. When writing a dissertation or thesis
introduction though, you may find that it runs from 3, 4 or 5 pages (depending
on your overall word limit) for a dissertation to a much larger chapter for a
thesis.

Dudley Evans (1989, in Bhatia, 1993: 7) identified a larger, 6 move pattern of

writing dissertation introductions:

Move 1: Introducing the field

Move 2: Introducing the general topic (within the field)

Move 3: Introducing the particular topic (within the general topic)

Move 4: Defining the scope of the particular topic by

a) introducing research parameters

b) summarizing previous research

Move 5: Preparing for present research by

a) indicating a gap in previous research

b) indicating a possible extension of previous research

Move 6: Introducing present research by

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 a) stating the aim of the research

or

b) describing briefly the work carried out

c) justifying the research

3. Planning a discussion section (commonly chapter 5)

A discussion section may be written in anything from one to twenty or more

pages, depending on the length of the task you have. Swales (1990: 172-173,
based on Dudley-Evans, 1989) provides a review of a number of different
views on discussion sections. The most common moves included in discussion
section are listed here:

a) Background information: the writer provides a statement or information

related to the central problem (intro, move 2) and/or aims (intro, move 3).
This essentially repeats information, but serves to re-focus the reader’s
attention on the main problem.

b) Statement of results: the reader’s attention has been re-focused here as a

preview to the results obtained from the method/results section. This
represents the real beginning of the new information presented in the
discussion section.

c) (Un)expected outcome: the writer often comments on whether the results

were expected or unexpected.

d) Reference to previous research: at this point the current work is once again
reviewed in the context of previous writers to provide a basis for the new
discussion.

e) Explanation: this is more common when the writer is reporting on unexpected

results or results that deviate somewhat from findings anticipated from the
introductory moves of raising a question and continuing a tradition.

f) Exemplification: if an explanation is provided, examples are often provided.

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 g) Deduction and Hypothesis: if the results can be generalized in a theoretical
way they are discussed as part of a deduction or hypothesis. This is more
common where concrete evidence is available.

h) Recommendations: if further research into any key issues is required, the

writer makes reference to those issues here. This also serves to excuse any
limitations within the current discussion.

The realities of a discussion section

Some or all of these moves will generally be presented in this sequence.

However, you will probably find that the sequence varies between different
papers, writers and academic disciplines. Sometimes the moves may be
presented in a different sequence, or even in an interwoven sequence that
punctuates moves with other moves.

Take a journal you are reading or reviewing, and a completed dissertation or

thesis, and review the discussion section.

• Can you observe the moves listed above?

• Which moves are included and which are not?

• Can you identify any moves not listed here?

• Do they follow this sequence, an alternative sequence or something else?

• What differences are apparent between the journal paper and the dissertation
or thesis?

4. Possible structures for a conclusion

When planning a conclusion it is necessary to know all the above facts and be
able to summarise the main points of the whole essay briefly. This is the main
reason for drawing all those details together. Crusius and Channell (1998: 104-
105) make some interesting observations about writing conclusions:

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 “Look back at your introduction”: did you ask any particular questions in
the introduction or make any particular statements that you could repeat? You
may now have an answer. This is a useful method for indicating the
background + problem.

“Think about the larger context your argument fits into”: how did you
develop the argument in your essay? It is possible to indicate a basic
structural procedure in solving the problem.

What is the overall value of this information and do you have a final
solution to the problem you discussed?

“Pay attention to style, especially in the last sentence: an awkwardly

worded sentence will not have a sound of finality, but one with some rhythmic
punch or consciously repeated sounds can wrap up an essay neatly.”

Writers often try to finish with a profound statement that neatly envelops the
whole topic in a single statement.

5. A final reminder

When you plan your conclusion ask somebody else to read it first. Do they
understand the topic of your paper and its outcome from just reading the
conclusion? If not, you may need to reconsider some points until this is clear.

As a final comparison, this can be achieved by reconsidering the moves of

your introduction, in relation to the tentative moves of a conclusion (n.b. this
area has not yet been researched in detail to my knowledge).

Moves of introduction Possible moves of conclusion

a) Background a) Background + problem.

b) Problem b) Basic structural procedure in solving the problem.

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 c) Structure/aims c) What is the overall value of this information and do

you have a final solution to the problem you

discussed?

Resource bibliography

Bhatia, V.K. (1993). Analysing Genre: Language Use in Professional Settings. London:
Longman.

Crusius, T.W. & Channell, C.E. (1998). The Aims of Argument: A Brief Rhetoric (Second
Edition). Mountain View, Ca: Mayfield.

Dudley-Evans, T. (1989). “Genre Analysis: An Investigation of the Introduction and

Discussion Sections of MSc Dissertations.” In Coulthard, M. (Ed.). Talking about Text, English
Language Research, University of Birmingham. In Bhatia, V.K. (1993).

Swales, J. (1990). Genre Analysis: English in Academic and Research Settings. Cambridge:
CUP.