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BREAKING THROUGH THE BINARY:

GENDER EXPLAINED USING CONTINUUMS
Written by social justice Gender is a tough subject to tackle. There are many
comedian Sam Killermann, this is facets to consider and many pressures at play, and we
an adaptation of an article
have all been conditioned in such a way that our first
originally posted at
ItsPronouncedMetrosexual.com
instinct is almost unanimously wrong. But we’re going
to tackle it. No. We’re going to tackle the snot out of it.
Coming to our aid, I would like to present to you: The
Genderbread Person!

Now let’s talk about it.

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THE GENDERBREAD PERSON

As you’ll see above, we have four elements. Before I
break them down, I want to talk in generalities. First of
all, if you noticed that the first three categories all
pertain to gender while the fourth pertains to sexuality,
great job. Skip ahead to the next paragraph. For
everyone else: if that doesn’t make sense to you, or
you’re unsure of how all four interrelate, worry not. By
the end of this reading, it’ll all make sense or you can
have your money back. And if you never gave me
money, give me money.

Using two continuums for each The schema used here to map out gender (the “-ness”
element (the “-ness” approach), model) allows individuals to plot where they identify
instead of having a scale from F-
along both continua to represent varying degrees of
to-M, allows a person to
demonstrate that they embody
alignment with the traditional binary elements of each
more of one aspect of gender aspect of gender, resulting in infinite possibilities of
without that meaning they are “gender” for a person.
less of the complement (i.e.,
expressing gender masculinely, Also, I strongly condone and recommend people to plot
like wearing a beard, doesn’t ranges along the continua, instead of just points, to
make a feminine expression, like depict how their gender might vary (as a result of
wearing tight-fitting clothing,
different social situations, stimulations, or other
less feminine).
-ations).

Whenever I talk to groups about gender using this

model, a common problem arises: people tend to
assume that someone will consistently be similarly
positioned in either the top or bottom of each of the
continuum pairs above (all top, or all bottom), and
when I explain that many people zigzag through the
list, they give me blank stares. I’m about to say
something that will likely freak you out, but be cool; it’ll
all make sense soon. Gender identity, gender
expression, biological sex, and sexual orientation exist
independent of one another. With that said (I’m going
to say it again later), let’s move on.
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GENDER IDENTITY: WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE

On the left of both continua we have an empty set
symbol, which is meant to represent a lack of
what’s on the right, and on the right we have
“woman-ness” (the quality to which you identify
as a “woman”) and “man-ness” (ditto, but with
“man”). To the right we have some examples of
possible plots and possible labels for those plots.
Examples of common identities that aren’t listed
include agender, bigender, third-gender, and
transgender.
Gender identity is all about how you think about
yourself. It’s about how you internally interpret the
chemistry that composes you (e.g., hormone levels). As
you know it, do you think you fit better into the societal
role of “woman” or “man,” or does neither ring
particularly true for you? That is, do you have aspects of
your identity that align with elements from both? Or do
you consider your gender to fall outside of the gender
norms completely? The answer is your gender identity.

It has been accepted that we form our gender identities

around the age of three and that after that age, it is
incredibly difficult to change them. Formation of
identity is affected by hormones and environment just
as much as it is by biological sex. Oftentimes, problems
arise when someone is assigned a gender based on their
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sex at birth that doesn’t align with how they come to

identify. We’ll talk about that more later.

GENDER EXPRESSION: HOW YOU DEMONSTRATE

WHO YOU ARE
On the left of both continua we have an empty set
symbol, which, you guessed it, represents a lack of
what’s on the right. On the right sides we have
“feminine” and “masculine.” Examples of different
gender expressions and possible labels are to the
right. “Androgynous” might be a new word, and it
simply means a gender expression that has
elements of both masculinity and femininity.
Gender expression is all about how you demonstrate
gender through the ways you act, dress, behave, and
interact—whether that is intentional or unintended.
Gender expression is interpret- ed by others based on
traditional gender norms (e.g., men wear pants; women
wear dresses). Gender expression is something that
often changes from day to day, outfit to outfit, and event
or setting to event or setting. It’s about how the way you
express yourself aligns or doesn’t with traditional ways
of gendered expression, and can be motivated by your
gender identity, sexuality, or something else completely
(e.g., just for fun, or performance). Like gender identity,
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there is a lot of room for flexibility here. It is likely that

your gender expression changes frequently without you
even thinking about it. How about an example?

You wake up wearing baggy gray sweatpants and a T-

shirt. As you walk into your kitchen to prepare
breakfast, you’re expressing an adrogynous-to-slightly-
masculine gender. However, you see your partner in the
kitchen and decide to prowl in like Halle Berry from
Catwoman, then you are expressing much more
femininely. You pour a bowl of cereal, wrap your fist
around a spoon like a Viking, and start shoveling Fruit
Loops into your face, and all-of-a-sudden you’re
bumping up your levels of masculinity. After breakfast,
you skip back into your bedroom and playfully place
varying outfits in front of you, pleading with your
partner to help you decide what to wear. You’re
feminine again.

I assume this entire time you were imagining it was

you, with your gender identity, acting out that example.
Now go back through the whole thing, but this time
imagine someone with a different gender identity from
you going through the motions. Now you are starting to
understand how these concepts interrelate but don’t
interconnect.

“IF YOU CAN’T EXPLAIN IT TO A SIX YEAR

OLD, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IT YOURSELF.”
- ALBERT EINSTEIN
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BIOLOGICAL SEX: THE EQUIPMENT UNDER THE

HOOD
On the left of both continua we have an empty
set symbol, representing a lack of what’s on the
right, and on the right we have “female-ness”
and “male-ness” (both representing the degree to
which you possess those characteristics). In the
examples to the right, you see a new term,
“intersex,” which is a label for someone who has
both male and female characteristics. You also
see two “self ID” (self-identification) labels,
which represent people who possess both male
and female characteristics but identify with one
of the binary sexes.
Biological sex refers to the objectively measurable
organs, hormones, and chromosomes you possess. Let’s
consider biological sex in the ultra-reductive way
society does: being female means having a vagina,
ovaries, two X chromosomes, predominant estrogen,
and the ability to grow a baby in your abdominal area;
being male means having testes, a penis, an XY
chromosome configuration, predominant testosterone,
and the ability to put a baby in a female’s abdominal
area; and being intersex can be any combination of
what I just described.
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In reality, biological sex, like gender identity and

expression, for most folks, is more nuanced than that.
We will get to that in a later chapter, but for now I want
to talk a bit more about intersex people.

For example, someone can be born with the appearance

of be- ing male (penis, scrotum, etc.), but have a
functional female repro- ductive system inside. There
are many examples of how intersex can present itself,
and below you can see some statistics from the Inter-
sex Society of North America illustrating the frequency
of intersex births. (Check out the stat I bolded, but be
prepared to be shocked.)

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ATTRACTION: WHO YOU ARE ROMANTICALLY

AND SEXUALLY INTO
We have two related ideas here. On the left of
each we have “nobody,” meaning no feelings of
attraction. On the right we have “men/males/
masculinity” and “women/females/femininity.”
Sexual attraction can be thought of as the want,
need, or desire for physical sexual contact and
relationships. Romantic attraction is an affinity
and love for others and the desire for emotional
relationships. Some folks have both, some folks
have neither, many experience more of one than
the other.
Sexual orientation is all about who you are physically,
spiritually, and emotionally attracted to (here we’ve
broken it out specifically into sexual and romantic
attraction), and the labels tend to describe the
relationships between your gender and the gender types
you’re attracted to.

If you are a man and you’re attracted to women, you’re

straight. If you’re a man who is attracted to men and
another gender, you’re bi- sexual. And if you’re a man
who is attracted to men, you’re gay. These are the labels
most of us know the most about. We hear the most
about it, it’s salient in our lives, and we can best
understand where we stand with it. It’s pretty cut and
dry, right? Maybe.

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There’s much more to attraction and sexuality. Some

folks define and experience attraction without gender
as a factor; they might identify as “pansexual.” If you
experience romantic attraction but not sexual, you
might identify as asexual or “ace,” or, depending on the
gender(s) you’re attracted to, hetero-, homo-, or
panromantic. If you’re attracted to folks who are trans*
or androgynous, you might identify as skoliosexual.

Interestingly enough, pioneering research conducted by

Dr. Alfred Kinsey in the mid-twentieth century
uncovered that most people aren’t absolutely straight or
gay/lesbian. Instead of just asking “Do you like dudes or
chicks?” (very sciency, I know), he asked people to
report their fantasies, dreams, thoughts, emotional
investments in others, and frequency of sexual contact.
Based on his findings, he broke sexuality down into a
seven-point scale (see below), and re- ported that most
people who identify as straight are actually some-
where between 1 and 3 on the scale, and most people
who identify as lesbian/gay are between 3 and 5,
meaning most of us are a little bi-.

0—Exclusively Heterosexual

1—Predominantly heterosexual, incidentally

homosexual

2—Predominantly heterosexual, but more than

incidentally homosexual

3—Equally heterosexual and homosexual

4—Predominantly homosexual, but more than

incidentally heterosexual

5—Predominantly homosexual, incidentally

heterosexual

6—Exclusively Homosexual
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PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER: INTERRELATION VS.

INTERCONNECTION
It’s important to keep in mind Remember earlier when I said that thing and then said I
that the Genderbread Person would say it again? This is me saying that again:
isn’t meant to be a diagnostic
though the four things I presented above are certainly
tool for “figuring out” someone
else’s gender, but a tool for interrelated, they are not interconnect- ed. What do I
individuals to better understand mean by that?
themselves, or explain their
gender to someone else. With Gender identity, gender expression, biological sex, and
gender, as with all aspects of
sexual orientation are independent of one another (i.e.,
identity, you can’t speak for
someone else about their lived
they are not connected). People’s sexual orientation
experience. doesn’t determine their gender expression. And their
gender expression isn’t determined by their gender
identity. And their gender identity isn’t determined by
their biological sex. And also, every other mismatch of
A isn’t determined by B combination you can dream up
from those inputs. Those things certainly affect one
another (i.e., they are related to one another), but they
do not determine one another.

If someone is born with male reproductive organs and

genitalia, he is very likely to be raised as a boy,
identify as a man, and express himself masculinely. We
call this identity “cisgender” (when your biological sex
aligns with how you identify), and it grants a lot of
privilege (you already read about that, remember?). It’s
something most of us who have it don’t appreciate
nearly as much as we should.

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