7 Habits of Highly Effective People

1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
4. Think Win-Win
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the Saw

What habits do highly effective people have?

The book opens with an explanation of how many individuals who have
achieved a high degree of outward success still find themselves struggling
with an inner need for developing personal effectiveness and growing
healthy relationships with other people.

Covey believes the way we see the world is entirely based on our own
perceptions. In order to change a given situation, we must change
ourselves, and in order to change ourselves, we must be able to change
our perceptions.

In studying over 200 years of literature on the concept of "success," Covey

identified a very important change in the way that humans have defined
success over time.

In earlier times, the foundation of success rested upon character ethic

(things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice,
patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule). But starting
around the 1920s, the way people viewed success shifted to what Covey
calls "personality ethic" (where success is a function of personality, public
image, attitudes and behaviours).

These days, people look for quick fixes. They see a successful person, team,
or organization and ask, "How do you do it? Teach me your techniques!" But
these “shortcuts” that we look for, hoping to save time and effort and still
achieve the desired result, are simply Band-Aids that will yield short-term
solutions; they don't address the underlying condition.
"The way we see the problem is the problem," Covey writes. We must allow
ourselves to undergo paradigm shifts -- to change ourselves fundamentally
and not just alter our attitudes and behaviours on the surface level -- in
order to achieve true change.

That's where the seven habits of highly effective people come in:

 Habits 1, 2, and 3 are focused on self-mastery and moving from

dependence to independence.
 Habits 4, 5, and 6 are focused on developing teamwork,
collaboration, and communication skills, and moving from independence to
interdependence.
 Habit 7 is focused on continuous growth and improvement, and
embodies all the other habits.
HABIT 1: Be Proactive
Quick Summary:

We’re in charge. We choose the scripts by which to live our lives. Use this
self-awareness to be proactive and take responsibility for your choices.

The first habit that Covey discusses is being proactive. What distinguishes
us as humans from all other animals is our inherent ability to examine our
own character, to decide how to view ourselves and our situations, and to
control our own effectiveness.

Put simply, in order to be effective one must be proactive.

Reactive people take a passive stance -- they believe that the world is
happening to them. They say things like:

 "There's nothing I can do."

 "That's just the way I am."

They think the problem is "out there" -- but that thought is the problem.
Reactivity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and reactive people feel
increasingly victimized and out of control.

Proactive people, however, recognize that they have responsibility -- or

"response-ability," which Covey defines as the ability to choose how you
will respond to a given stimulus or situation.
 It is our willing permission, our consent to
what happens to us, that hurts us far more
than what happened to us in the first place." -
Stephen Covey

In order to be proactive, we must focus on the Circle of Influence that lies

within our Circle of Concern-- in other words, we must work on the things
we can do something about.

The positive energy we exert will cause our Circle of Influence to expand.

Reactive people, on the other hand, focus on things that are in their Circle
of Concern but not in their Circle of Influence, which leads to blaming
external factors, emanating negative energy, and causing their Circle of
Influence to shrink.

Practice Success Habit 1:

Challenge yourself to test the principle of proactivity by doing the following:

1. Start replacing reactive language with proactive language.

Reactive = "He makes me so mad."
Proactive = "I control my own feelings."
2. Convert reactive tasks into proactive ones.
HABIT 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Quick Summary:

Start with a clear destination in mind. Covey says we can use our
imagination to develop a vision of what we want to become and use our
conscience to decide what values will guide us.

Most of us find it rather easy to busy ourselves. We work hard to achieve

victories -- promotions, higher income, and more recognition. But we don't
often stop to evaluate the meaning behind this busyness, behind these
victories -- we don't ask ourselves if these things that we focus on so
intently are what really matter to us.
Habit 2 suggests that, in everything we do, we should begin with the end in
mind. Start with a clear destination. That way, we can make sure the steps
we’re taking are in the right direction.

It's incredibly easy to get caught up in an

activity trap, in the busyness of life, to work
harder and harder at climbing the ladder of
success only to discover that it's leaning
against the wrong wall." -Stephen Covey
Covey emphasizes that our self-awareness empowers us to shape our own
lives, instead of living our lives by default, or based on the standards or
preferences of others.

Beginning with the end in mind is also extremely important for businesses.
Being a manager is about optimizing for efficiency. But being a leader is
about setting the right strategic vision for your organization in the first
place, and asking, "What are we trying to accomplish?"

Before us as individuals or organizations can start setting and achieving

goals, we must be able to identify our values. This process may involve
some rescripting to be able to assert our own personal values.

Rescripting, Covey explains, is recognizing ineffective scripts that have

been written for you, and changing those scripts by proactively writing new
ones that are built of your own values.

It is also important to identify our center. Whatever is at the center of our

life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power.
Our centers affect us fundamentally -- they determine our daily decisions,
actions, and motivations, as well as our interpretation of events.

However, Covey notes that none of these centers are optimal, and that
instead we should strive to be principle-centered. We should identify the
timeless, unchanging principles by which we must live our lives. This will
give us the guidance that we need to align our behaviours with our beliefs
and values.

Practice Success Habit 2:

Challenge yourself to test the principle of beginning with the end in mind by doing
the following:
1. Visualize in rich detail your own funeral. Who is there? What are they saying
about you? About how you lived your life? About the relationships you had? What
do you want them to say? Think about how your priorities would change if you
only had 30 more days to live. Start living by these priorities.
2. Break down different roles in your life -- whether professional, personal, or
community -- and list three to five goals you want to achieve for each.
3. Define what scares you. Public speaking? Critical feedback after writing a
book? Write down the worst-case scenario for your biggest fear, then visualize
how you'll handle this situation. Write down exactly how you'll handle it.
HABIT 3: Put First Things First
Quick Summary:

In order to manage ourselves effectively, we must put first things first. We

must have the discipline to prioritize our day-to-day actions based on what
is most important, not what is most urgent.

In Habit 2, we discussed the importance of determining our values and

understanding what it is we are setting out to achieve. Habit 3 is all about
actually going after these goals, and executing on our priorities on a day-to-
day, moment-to-moment basis.

In order to maintain the discipline and the focus to stay on track toward our
goals, we need to have the willpower to do something when we don’t want
to do it. We need to act according to our values rather than our desires or
impulses at any given moment.

"The challenge is not to manage time, but to

manage ourselves." -Stephen Covey
All activities can be categorized based on two factors: Urgent and
important. Take a look at this time management matrix:

We react to urgent matters. We spend our time doing things that are not
important. That means that we neglect Quadrant II, which is the actually
most crucial of them all.

If we focus on Quadrant I and spend our time managing crises and

problems, it keeps getting bigger and bigger until it consumes us. These
leads to stress, burnout, and constantly putting out fires.
If we focus on Quadrant III, we spend most of our time reacting to matters
that seem urgent, when the reality is their perceived urgency is based on
the priorities and expectations of others. This leads to short-term focus,
feeling out of control, and shallow or broken relationships.
If we focus on Quadrant IV, we are basically leading an irresponsible life.
This often leads to getting fired from jobs and being highly dependent on
others.
Quadrant II is at the heart of effective personal management. It deals with
things like building relationships, long-term planning, exercising,
preparation -- all things we know we need to do but somehow seldom get
around to actually doing, because they don’t feel urgent.

In order to focus our time in Quadrant II, we have to learn how to say “no”
to other activities, sometimes ones that seem urgent. We also need to be
able to delegate effectively.

"The key is not to prioritize what’s on your

schedule, but to schedule your priorities." -
Stephen Covey
Plus, when we focus on Quadrant II, it means we’re thinking ahead,
working on the roots, and preventing crises from happening in the first
place! This helps us implement the Pareto Principle -- 80% of your results
come from 20% of your time.

We should always maintain a primary focus on relationships and results,

and a secondary focus on time.

"Think effectiveness with people and

efficiency with things." -Stephen Covey
Practice Success Habit 3:

Here are some ways you can practice putting first things first:

1. Identify a Quadrant II activity you’ve been neglecting. Write it down and

commit to implementing it.
2. Create your own time management matrix to start prioritizing.
3. Estimate how much time you spend in each quadrant. Then log your time
over 3 days. How accurate was your estimate? How much time did you spend in
Quadrant II (the most important quadrant)?
HABIT 4: Think Win-Win
Quick Summary:
In order to establish effective interdependent relationships, we must commit to
creating Win-Win situations that are mutually beneficial and satisfying to
each party.

Covey explains that there are six paradigms of human interaction:

1. Win-Win: Both people win. Agreements or solutions are mutually

beneficial and satisfying to both parties.
2. Win-Lose: “If I win, you lose.” Win-Lose people are prone to use position,
power, credentials, and personality to get their way.
3. Lose-Win: “I lose, you win.” Lose-Win people are quick to please and
appease, and seek strength from popularity or acceptance.
4. Lose-Lose: Both people lose. When two Win-Lose people get together --
that is, when two determined, stubborn, ego-invested individuals interact --
the result will be Lose-Lose.
5. Win: People with the Win mentality don’t necessarily want someone else
to lose -- that’s irrelevant. What matters is that they get what they want.
6. Win-Win or No Deal: If you can’t reach an agreement that is mutually
beneficial, there is no deal.

The best option is to create Win-Win situations. With Win-Lose, or Lose-

Win, one person appears to get what he wants for the moment, but the
results will negatively impact the relationship between those two people
going forward.

The Win-Win or No Deal option is important to use as a backup. When we

have No Deal as an option in our mind, it liberates us from needing to
manipulate people and push our own agenda. We can be open and really
try to understand the underlying issues.

In solving for Win-Win, we must consider two factors: Consideration and

courage. Take a look at the following chart:

"To go for Win-Win, you not only have to be

nice, you have to be courageous." -Stephen
Covey
Another important factor in solving for Win-Win situations is maintaining
an Abundance Mentality, or the belief that there's plenty out there for
everyone.
Most people operate with the Scarcity Mentality -- meaning they act as
though everything is zero-sum (in other words, if you get it, I don’t). People
with the Scarcity Mentality have a very hard time sharing recognition or
credit and find it difficult to be genuinely happy about other people’s
successes.

When it comes to interpersonal leadership, the more genuine our character

is, the higher our level of proactivity; the more committed we are to Win-
Win, the more powerful our influence will be.

To achieve Win-Win, keep the focus on results, not methods; on problems,

not people.

Lastly, the spirit of Win-Win can’t survive in an environment of competition.

As an organization, we need to align our reward system with our goals and
values and have the systems in place to support Win-Win.

Practice Success Habit 4:

Get yourself to start thinking Win-Win with these challenges:

1. Think about an upcoming interaction where you’ll be attempting to reach an

agreement or solution. Write down a list of what the other person is looking for.
Next, write a list next to that of how you can make an offer to meet those needs.
2. Identify three important relationships in your life. Think about what you feel
the balance is in each of those relationships. Do you give more than you take?
Take more than you give? Write down 10 ways to always give more than you take
with each one.
3. Deeply consider your own interaction tendencies. Are they Win-Lose? How
does that affect your interactions with others? Can you identify the source of that
approach? Determine whether or not this approach serves you well in your
relationships. Write all of this down.
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HABIT 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Quick Summary:

Before we can offer advice, suggest solutions, or effectively interact with

another person in any way, we must seek to deeply understand them and
their perspective through empathic listening.

Let’s say you go to an optometrist and tell him that you’ve been having
trouble seeing clearly, and he takes off his glasses, hands them to you and
says, “Here, try these -- they’ve been working for me for years!” You put them
on, but they only make the problem worse. What are the chances you’d go
back to that optometrist?

Unfortunately, we do the same thing in our everyday interactions with

others. We prescribe a solution before we diagnose the problem. We don’t
seek to deeply understand the problem first.

Habit 5 says that we must seek first to understand, then to be understood.

In order to seek to understand, we must learn to listen.

"You’ve spent years of your life learning how

to read and write, years learning how to
speak. But what about listening?" -Stephen
Covey
We can’t simply use one technique to understand someone. In fact, if a
person senses that we’re manipulating her, she will question our motives
and will no longer feel safe opening up to us.

"You have to build the skills of empathic

listening on a base of character that inspires
openness and trust." -Stephen Covey
To listen empathically requires a fundamental paradigm shift. We typically
seek first to be understood. Most people listen with the intent to reply, not
to understand. At any given moment, they’re either speaking or preparing to
speak.

After all, Covey points out, communication experts estimate that:

 10% of our communication is represented by our words [CLICK TO

TWEET]
 30% is represented by our sounds[CLICK TO TWEET]
 60% is represented by our body language[CLICK TO TWEET]

When we listen autobiographically -- in other words, with our own

perspective as our frame of reference -- we tend to respond in one of four
ways:
1. Evaluate: Agree or disagree with what is said
2. Probe: Ask questions from our own frame of reference
3. Advise: Give counsel based on our own experience
4. Interpret: Try to figure out the person’s motives and behaviour based on
our own motives and behaviour
But if we replace these types of response with empathic listening, we see
dramatic results in improved communication. It takes time to make this
shift, but it doesn’t take nearly as long to practice empathic listening as it
does to back up and correct misunderstandings, or to live with unexpressed
and unresolved problems only to have them surface later on.

The second part of Habit 5 is “... then to be understood.” This is equally

critical in achieving Win-Win solutions.

"Seeking to understand requires

consideration; seeking to be understood takes
courage." -Stephen Covey

When we’re able to present our ideas clearly, and in the context of a deep
understanding of the other person’s needs and concerns, we significantly
increase the credibility of your ideas.

Practice Success Habit 5:

Here are a few ways to get yourself in the habit of seeking first to understand:

1. Next time you’re watching two people communicating, cover your ears and
watch. What emotions are being communicated that might not come across
through words alone? Was one person or the other more interested in the
conversation? Write down what you noticed.
2. Next time you give a presentation, root it in empathy. Begin by describing
the audience's point of view in great detail. What problems are they facing? How is
what you're about to say offering a solution to their problems?
HABIT 6: Synergize
Quick Summary:

By understanding and valuing the differences in another person’s

perspective, we have the opportunity to create synergy, which allows us to
uncover new possibilities through openness and creativity.
The combination of all the other habits prepares us for Habit 6, which is the
habit of synergy or "When one plus one equals three or more and the
whole is great than the sum of its parts."

For example, if you plant two plants close together, their roots will co-
mingle and improve the quality of the soil, so that both plants will grow
better than they would on their own.

Synergy allows us to create new alternatives and open new possibilities. It

allows us as a group to collectively agree to ditch the old scripts and write
new ones.
"Without doubt, you have to leave the comfort
zone of base camp and confront an entirely
new and unknown wilderness." -Stephen
Covey

So how can we introduce synergy to a given situation or environment?

Start with habits 4 and 5 -- you must think Win-Win and seek first to
understand.

Once you have these in mind, you can pool your desires with those of the
other person or group. And then you’re not on opposite sides of the
problem -- you’re together on one side, looking at the problem,
understanding all the needs, and working to create a third alternative that
will meet them.

What we end up with is not a transaction, but a transformation. Both sides

get what they want, and they build their relationship in the process.
By putting forth a spirit of trust and safety, we will prompt others to become
extremely open and feed on each other’s insights and ideas, creating
synergy.

The real essence of synergy is valuing the differences -- the mental,

emotional, and psychological differences between people.

"The key to valuing differences is to realize

that all people see the world, not as it is, but
as they are." -Stephen Covey
After all, if two people have the same opinion, one is unnecessary. When
we become aware of someone’s different perspective, we can say, “Good!
You see it differently! Help me see what you see.”

We seek first to understand, and then we find strength and utility in those
different perspectives in order to create new possibilities and Win-Win
results.

Synergy allows you to:

 Value the differences in other people as a way to expand your
perspective
 Sidestep negative energy and look for the good in others
 Exercise courage in interdependent situations to be open and
encourage others to be open
 Catalyse creativity and find a solution that will be better for everyone
by looking for a third alternative
Practice Success Habit 6:
1. Make a list of people who irritate you. Now choose just one person. How are
their views different? Put yourself in their shoes for one minute. Think and pretend
how it feels to be them. Does this help you understand them better?

Now next time you're in a disagreement with that person, try to understand their
concerns and why they disagree with you. The better you can understand them, the
easier it will be to change their mind -- or change yours.

2. Make a list of people with whom you get along well. Now choose just one
person. How are their views different? Now write down a situation where you had
excellent teamwork and synergy. Why? What conditions were met to reach such
fluidity in your interactions? How can you recreate those conditions again?
HABIT 7: Sharpen the Saw
Quick Summary:

To be effective, we must devote the time to renewing ourselves physically,

spiritually, mentally, and socially. Continuous renewal allows us to
synergistically increase our ability to practice each habit.

Habit 7 is focused around renewal, or taking time to “sharpen the saw.” It

surrounds all of the other habits and makes each one possible by
preserving and enhancing your greatest asset -- yourself.

There are four dimensions of our nature, and each must be exercised
regularly, and in balanced ways:

Physical Dimension: The goal of continuous physical improvement is to

exercise our body in a way that will enhance our capacity to work, adapt,
and enjoy.

To renew ourselves physically, we must:

 Eat well
 Get sufficient rest and relaxation
 Exercise on a regular basis to build endurance, flexibility, and
strength

Focusing on the physical dimension helps develop Habit 1 muscles of

proactivity. We act based on the value of well-being instead of reacting to
the forces that keep us from fitness.

Spiritual Dimension: The goal of renewing our spiritual self is to provide

leadership to our life and reinforce your commitment to our value system.

To renew yourself spiritually, you can:

 Practice daily meditation

 Communicate with nature
 Immerse yourself in great literature or music

A focus on our spiritual dimension helps us practice Habit 2, as we

continuously revise and commit ourselves to our values, so we can begin
with the end in mind.

Mental Dimension: The goal of renewing our mental health is to continue

expanding our mind.
To renew yourself mentally, you can:

 Read good literature

 Keep a journal of your thoughts, experiences, and insights
 Limit television watching to only those programs that enrich your life
and mind

Focusing on our mental dimension helps us practice Habit 3 by managing

ourselves effectively to maximize the use of our time and resources.

Social/Emotional Dimension: The goal of renewing ourselves socially is to

develop meaningful relationships.

To renew yourself emotionally, you can:

 Seek to deeply understand other people

 Make contributions to meaningful projects that improve the lives of
others
 Maintain an Abundance Mentality, and seek to help others find
success

Renewing our social and emotional dimension helps us practice Habits 4,

5, and 6 by recognizing that Win-Win solutions do exist, seeking to
understand others, and finding mutually beneficial third alternatives through
synergy.

"Not a day goes by that we can’t at least

serve one other human being by making
deposits of unconditional love." -Stephen
Covey

As we focus on renewing ourselves along these four dimensions, we must

also seek to be a positive scripter for other people. We must look to inspire
others to a higher path by showing them we believe in them, by listening to
them empathically, by encouraging them to be proactive.

"The more we see people in terms of their

unseen potential, the more we can use our
 imagination rather than our memory." -
Stephen Covey

The real beauty of the 7 Habits is that improvement in one habit

synergistically increases our ability to improve the rest.

Renewal is the process that empowers us to move along an upward spiral

of growth and change, of continuous improvement.

Practice Success Habit 7:

1. Make a list of activities that would help you renew yourself along each of the
4 dimensions. Select one activity for each dimension and list it as a goal for the
coming week. At the end of the week, evaluate your performance. What led you to
succeed or fail to accomplish each goal?
2. Commit to writing down a specific “sharpen the saw” activity in all four
dimensions every week, to do them, and to evaluate your performance and results.