1 Compare and Contrast Sternberg'S and Lee'S Model of Love

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COMPARE AND CONTRAST STERNBERG’S AND LEE’S MODEL OF LOVE
Compare and Contrast Sternberg’s and Lee’s Model of love
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According to recent study in the field of psychology, it is revealed that romantic love and
friendship have many characteristics in common. But the factor which sets them apart is the
attachment, sexual desire and devotedness of the lover and friend. Love is composed of a sense
of passion. This passion, in almost all cases, declines with the passage of time. The success and
happiness of a long-term relationship are based upon trust and companionship.
Love is a phenomenon that is not idealistic, rather it evolves with time. It is realistic in its
nature. Over time a couple has to substitute its shared activities with new ones in place of the old.
They have to develop skills to achieve more closeness and intimacy to maintain their love and
passion.
Throughout history scholars have debated on the nature of love. They have put forward
theories to better understand and explain this phenomenon. According to the renowned German
sexologist Richard von Krafft-Ebbing, as early as 1886, there are five types of love. True love,
platonic love, sentimental love, sensual love and friendship.
Two of the most elaborate theories to explain love were presented by John Alan Lee
(1973) and Robert Sternberg (1986).
The Color Wheel Theory of Love (John Alan Lee): John Lee presented this theory in 1973 and
divided love into six types using different Greek words for love. It was first presented in his book
Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving. He has identified three primary, three
secondary and three tertiary types of love. He has described them with the help of a traditional
color wheel. According to him, the three primary type are eros, ludus and storge whereas the
secondary ones are mania, pragma and agape. (Lee, J. A. 1977).

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Eros is romantic and passionate love. It involves a strong physical and emotional
attraction. It can be said that the term being in love belongs to this type. It starts with the process
of getting to know each other resulting in loving someone in a long-term relationship. It is highly
intense, sensual and passionate type of love. Erotic lovers view marriage as an extended
honeymoon.
Ludus refers to a love that is playful and involves fun rather that a long-term
commitment. Such type of lover is not interested in a long-term relationship. An example of it
would be the dating sites where people look for short-term relationships.
Storge is a love based on friendship. Although it lacks passion in the begging, it
gradually progresses from such to commitment. A relationship lacking passion may also be
defined as such type of love.
Mania is an obsessive type of love. Such a person views his partner as something the
“need”. They indulge in behaviors such as stalking to try to reciprocate their obsessive love.
Pragma is practical and mutually beneficial love. One looks for a partner with similar
interests or for specific reasons, such as producing children. It is somewhat unromantic.
Agape refers to truly selfless love. One experiencing it is more interested in giving rather
than receiving. This type is rare and is most likely to be experienced as a parent.
Triangular Theory of Love (Robert Sternberg): This theory was presented by psychologist
Robert Sternberg in 1985. In his words, in terms of interpersonal relationships, love has three
components; passion, intimacy and decision/commitment.

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Passion involves physical arousal or an emotional stimulation. It is an intense emotion a
compelling enthusiasm for someone. It is deep feeling involving a positive affinity toward
someone.
Intimacy is the feeling of attachment and closeness with someone. Such a feeling results
in the individuals being at ease with one another. It strengthens the bond between two individuals
by creating shared feelings between them. It is of a personal or private nature.
Decision/Commitment is the conscious resolve to stick with one another. The decisive
factor in the resolution to commit with someone is the level of satisfaction one derives from the
relationship.
The amount of love experienced depends upon the strength of these three components
and the type of love depends on their relative strengths. Different combination of these
components define different stages of an adult relationship. (Sternberg, R. J. 1997)
Summary
As indicated by Peck, M. S. (2002)., the ability to love another person requires positive
attitude and self-disclosure. It may be conditional or unconditional. According to John Alan Lee,
there is only one type of love that may be considered as true love. He divides love into three
primary and three secondary types. According to him the level of happiness experienced by an
individual in a relationship depends on his or her characteristics match or contrast with the other
partner.
On the other hand, Robert Sternberg suggests that affection, attraction and love felt
towards another individual can be explained by the combination of three components. According
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to his belief, true love is the consummate love. The presence of all three components together is
prerequisite for attaining such a love.
But in the end the feeling of love and to maintain it in a realistic manner requires effforts
and evolution from both sides of the relationship. The strength of the relationship depends on the
understanding, togetherness and strong bond between the individuals in the relationship.
References
Lee, J. A. (1977). A typology of styles of loving. Personality and Social Psychology
Bulletin, 3(2), 173-182.
Peck, M. S. (2002). The road less traveled: A new psychology of love, traditional values,
and spiritual growth. Simon and Schuster.
Sternberg, R. J. (1997). Construct validation of a triangular love scale. European Journal
of Social Psychology, 27(3), 313-335.

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COMPARE AND CONTRAST STERNBERG’S AND LEE’S MODEL OF LOVE

Compare and Contrast Sternberg’s and Lee’s Model of love

happiness of a long-term relationship are based upon trust and companionship.

platonic love, sentimental love, sensual love and friendship.

(1973) and Robert Sternberg (1986).

secondary ones are mania, pragma and agape. (Lee, J. A. 1977).

commitment. Such type of lover is not interested in a long-term relationship. An example of it

Storge is a love based on friendship. Although it lacks passion in the begging, it

defined as such type of love.

interests or for specific reasons, such as producing children. It is somewhat unromantic.

components; passion, intimacy and decision/commitment.

by creating shared feelings between them. It is of a personal or private nature.

components define different stages of an adult relationship. (Sternberg, R. J. 1997)

prerequisite for attaining such a love.

Lee, J. A. (1977). A typology of styles of loving. Personality and Social Psychology

Bulletin, 3(2), 173-182.

and spiritual growth. Simon and Schuster.

Sternberg, R. J. (1997). Construct validation of a triangular love scale. European Journal

of Social Psychology, 27(3), 313-335.

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