WILKOMMEN

(Cabaret)

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome

Fremde, etranger, stranger
Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchante,
Happy to see you, bleibe, reste, stay
Willkomen, bienvenue, welcome,
In Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret

[SPOKEN]
Mein Damen und Herren,Mesdames et Messieurs, Ladies and Gentlemen! Guten Abend, bon soir, Wie geht's?
Comment ca va? Do you feel good? I bet you do. Welcome to” ACT 1!”
I am your host.
Und sage,

Willkomen, bienvenue, welcome,

In Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret
Leave your troubles outside,
So- life is disappointing? Forget it!
We have no troubles here! Here life is beautiful... The girls are beautiful... Even the boys are beautiful.
You see, I told you the boys, are beautiful.
And now, presenting the Cabaret.
Rosie, Lulu, Frenchie, Texas, Fritzie... Und Helga. Each and every one, a virgin. Ooh, you don't believe me? Well
don't take my word for it, try Helga.
Outside it is winter, but in here, it it so hot! Every night we have to battle with the girls to keep them from taking
off all their clothes. So, don't go away. Who knows, tonight, we may lose the battle!

[EVERYONE]
Wir sagen, Willkommen bienvenue, welcome
In Cabaret, au Cabaret to Cabaret!

[EMCEE]
We are here to serve you!

Hans, Herrman,
And finally, the toast of Mayfair Fraulein Sally Bowles!

[SALLY]
Hello, darlings!

[EMCEE]
Bleibe, reste, stay!

[ALL]
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!

[ALL]
Im Cabaret, au Cabaret
Wir sagen

[whispered]
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome,
Fremde, etranger, stranger,

[EMCEE]
Hello, stranger!

[ALL]
Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchante,

[EMCEE]
Enchante madam!

[ALL]
Happy to see you, Bleibe, reste, stay,
Wir Sagen,
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!
Fremde, etranger, stranger!
Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchante
Happy, to see you, bleibe reste stay,

Willkommen bienvenue, welcome,

Im Cabaret! Au Cabaret! To Cabaret!

[EMCEE]
Thank you!
And now...

NOTHING SHORT OF WONDERFUL

(Dogfight)

KYANNA:
Oh my gosh.

YVONNE
Oh my gosh!

KYANNA
Oh my gosh…

YVONNE
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, holy cow, what to wear,
And your hair, what a mess, pick a dress, oh my gosh,
Are you mourning a death? Take a breath.
What a look, I mistook you for butternut squash.

KYANNA
Oh my gosh
Keep it soft, keep it bright, be a girl, something pink,
Don’t you think, just a touch, not too much, he likes you,
Just be you, he won’t care what you wear,
I dunno, should I go with the pink or the blue?
What to do?

YVONNE
For someone who is nothing short of wonderful?

KYANNA
Nothing short of wonderful…

YVONNE
Just a girl, just a guy, but it’s him, and it’s you,
And it’s true what you’ve heard, like a bird how you lift
And your chest feels a pull like you’re full of a joy,
‘cause a boy interrupted your shift.
Like something nothing short of wonderful,
Oh it was nothing short of wonderful.

KYANNA
What if, when we’re dancing, I’m clumsy?
Our feet collide

YVONNE
What if, when we’re dancing, he dips me?
Our lips meet
And we glide across the room?

BOTH
And it feels nothing short of wonderful
Nothing short of wonderful

KYANNA
Hurry up, he won’t wait, he can’t wait half the night

YVONNE
Either white or maroon, you’re a loon, you’re a mess

KYANNA
And you think you might bust, but you’ve just got to choose

YVONNE
Pick the shoes, and decide on the dress

BOTH
And you’ll be nothing short of wonderful
Nothing short of wonderful

KYANNA
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, on a date, on a date,

YVONNE
But you can’t make him wait, no you can’t make him late

KYANNA
And your room is in heaps and you can’t see the floor

YVONNE
But you finally get what a girdle is for

KYANNA
Oh my gosh…

YVONNE
Oh my gosh!

BOTH
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my g---
Oh my gosh.

LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY

(Footloose)

SUNG
My baby, he don't talk sweet
He ain't got much to say

ILENE & JOYCE

But he loves me, loves me, loves me
I know that he loves me anyway

TERI & ABBIE

And maybe he don't dress fine
But I don't really mind

JEWELL
Cuz every time he pulls me near
I just wanna cheer

GIRLS
Let's hear it for the boy
Let's give the boy a hand
Let's hear it for my baby
You know you gotta understand
Whoa, maybe he's no Romeo
But he's lovin' one-man show
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Let's hear it for the boy

YVONNE
My baby may not be rich
He's watching every dime

LAI & JC
But he loves me, loves me, loves me
And we always have a real good time

FE
And maybe he sings off key
But that's alright by me

KYANNA & HOPE

Cuz what he does he does so well
Makes me wanna yell

Let's hear it for the boy

Let's give the boy a hand
Let's hear it for my baby
You know you gotta understand
Maybe he's no Romeo
But he's my lovin' one-man show
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Let's hear it for the boy

JOSEANNE & ISABEL

Maybe he's no Casanova
Still his kisses bowl me ov-ah!

Let's hear it for the boy

Let's give the boy a hand
Let's hear it for my baby
You know you gotta understand

Oh, he don't score at Bowl-A-Rama

Still, you gotta thank his Mama
Whoa, whoa whoa whoa
Let's hear it for the boy
Hear it for my man
Let's hear it for my baby
SINGLE
(The Wedding Singer)

JOSH
No one tells you how you ought to live
No one glares when you do jello shooters

Guys
Jello

GERALD
No one says that you're insensitive cause her birthday meal took place at hooters

Guys
Hooters

KENNY
No one tells you that your bald spot's grown
Or that you ought to tone your flab

Guys
Tone your flab

UBS
So pour a double gin
Here's to your double chin

All
Yeah, start the party
Start a tab

GERALD
Cause you're

All
Single

GERALD
You are

All
Single

GERALD
And you'll keep staying single if you're smart

Guys
If you are smart

KENNY
Yeah, you're single
You are single
No chick will ever moonwalk on your heart

Guys
Moonwalk on your heart

UBS
Trust me

All
This is when the good times really start

(ENTER BOYS)

KIP
No one minds the laundry on your floor

JOED
No one pouts with every chick you look at

WILL
No one tries to clean your porno drawer

KIP
No one traps you with

BOYS
"does my ass look fat?"

WILL
Bust a move in womens's underwear
While you're blasting cher or wham

Guys
Cher or wham!

GUYS
So fill your ranger's cup
The toilet seat stays up
The fridge gets stocked with beer and spam

UBS
Cause you're

All
Single
UBS
You are

All
Single

UBS
Not a care in the world can bother you

Guys
Can bother you

KIP
You are single
You are single
You can do what you've always wanted to

Guys
Always wanted to
Well, no commitments
Cause you're only passing through

(rap)
JOSH
Yo, making a date with some needy girl
Is a waste of my time and my jheri curl - wiki

JOED
I don't need a girl who don't understand
When i got a date with my left hand

KIEF
Well, i like the ladies, heaven knows
But in the words in nietzsche, "bro's before ho's"

KENNY
Now, i don't like a girl who'll cry and bawl
In fact, i never liked girls at all

WILL
Sammy, george, ricky and bum
I'm starting to see where you're coming from

GERARD, JOSH, KENNY, UBS

Cause we’re

KIP, JOED, KIEF, WILL

Single

GERARD, JOSH, KENNY, UBS

Oh, yeah

KIP, JOED, KIEF, WILL

Single

GERALD
I'll behave like a dude's meant to behave
BOYS
Meant to behave

GERALD
Always single
Ever single
Single now and till i'm in my grave

BOYS
Single till i am lying in my grave

KIP
Though at times i might want someone to hold me tight
And promise me that everything'll be all right

UBS
Bum
Everything'll be all right.

KIP
Thanks, man.

BOYS
All
I'll stay single till I'm rotting slowly in my lonely forgotten grave

MY JUNK Ilene, Lai, Joyce, JC, Joseanne, Yvonne

(Spring Awakening)
YVONNE
In the midst of this nothing, this mess of a life
Still, there's this one thing: just to see you go by

LAI
It's almost like lovin', sad as that is

JOSEANNE
May not be cool, but it's so where I live

JC
It's like I'm your lover, or more like your ghost—
I spend the day wonderin' what you do, where you go

ILENE
I try and just kick it, but then what can I do?
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you

ALL
See us winter walking after a storm
It's chill in the wind, but it's warm in your arms
We stop, all snow-blind
May not be true
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you

JOYCE
Well, you'll have to excuse me, I know it's so off
I love when you do stuff that's rude and so wrong

LAI
I go up to my room, turn the stereo on
Shoot up some you in the "you" of some song

ILENE I lie back, driftin'

I lie back, just driftin' These scenes
And play out these scenes The rush
I ride on the rush The dreams...
All the hopes, all the dreams
We've all got our junk
JC Yeah, yeah, yeah
I may be neglectin' the things I should do
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you

ALL
See, we still keep talkin' after you're gone
You're still with me then, feels so good in my arms
They say you go blind
Maybe it's true
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you...

Oh, it's like we stop time

What can I do?
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you
My junk is you
You, you, you

MIDDLE OF THE MOMENT

(James and the Giant Peach)

JOED
If this is what my family has to be
Then I don't need one watching over me
A family doesn't make you sleep outside
A family doesn't laugh and say you lie
Remember what a home is
Think of how your life should be

But you're stuck in the middle of a moment

Can't crawl out of where you are
Only steps away, the world's okay
But you can't see that far
Stuck in the middle of a moment
That's halfway to somewhere new
Can't go back You're moving through

KENNY- You'll have to think in ways you never thought

You'll have to make the best of what you've got
Find the answers hiding in between
See a door that no one's ever seen
Something's there you feel it
Stop to look it's all around

So you're stuck in the middle of a moment

No clear path no shining star
Just a step away the world's okay
So try to see that far
And there in the middle of a moment
You're halfway to somewhere new
Can't go back
Keep moving through

BOTH
‘Cause there is magic

JOED
Now you know

BOTH
You made magic

KENNY
Made it grow

BOTH
And marvelous, wonderful things can come true

JOED
In the middle of a moment

KENNY
In the middle of a moment

BOTH
In the middle of a moment
You're on your way
RITA’S CONFESSION
(Lucky Stiff)

Isabel: Vinnie, you're my brother.

I'm in a little trouble and I didn't know where else to go
Listen to this obituary I just found in the Atlantic City paper
WILL: You're holding it upside-down put on your glasses.
ABBIE: Oh! Heh heh... ok 'British shoe salesman inherits 6 million dollars
From casino manager uncle.
WILL: I don't get it
ALL GIRLS: Let me start at the beginning.

ISABEL:I was having an affair

WILL: an affair?
ISABEL: an affair, and my lover's name was Tony
WILL: Tony?
ISABEL: Hamden
He managed my husband's casino, he wore a tux
I went crazy for the guy, which is why
WILL: which is why...?
ISABEL: I embezzled from my husband
WILL: Not your husband
ISABEL: We stole from my husband's casino
Six million bucks!
WILL: no...
ISABEL: and all in rocks!
Six million bucks in diamonds in a heart shaped box
Now I've gotta go to Monte Carlo
I've gotta find this man
He inherited the money
I embezzled from my husband
For my lover, who I accidentally shot
WILL: What!?!

Teri: Well I went to Tony's place

WILL: Tony's place?
TERI: It was dawn. And I saw a woman leaving
WILL: woman?
TERI: Leaving. I knew that my Tony was in there
Well I saw red
And the room was very dark
WILL: Very dark
TERI: Very dark and I didn't have my glasses
WILL: What no glasses?
TERI: And there in the dark accidentally I shot him dead
They found his will
He left his English nephew my entire six mil.

Teri & Isabel:Now I've got to go to Monte Carlo

I've got to find this man
WILL: He inherited the money
ISABEL: I embezzled from my husband
WILL: For the guy you accidentally shot at dawn

TERI: and you've got to go to Monte Carlo

WILL: Me?
TERI: Just as fast as you can
WILL: Why?
ISABEL: Cause I accidentally mentioned it was you who took the money
When my husband accidentally found it gone

ABBIE: What could I say?

WILL: What did you say? What did you say?
ABBIE: What could I do?
WILL: What did you do? What did you do?
ABBIE: The money was gone, and Nicky caught on so I blamed it
WILL: No...
ABBIE: On you
I said you lost it gambling... I was desperate.
It just came out of my mouth, you know, spontaneously
And now. Well, I think Nicky has a- a contract on your life

WILL: I've got to go to Monte Carlo. I've got to find this man
I could end up in the river with a bullet in my liver
Or piano wire wrapped around my neck
ISABEL, TERI, ABBIE: Check
ALL: We've got to go to Monte Carlo just as fast as we can
And find this man

THE SECRET OF HAPPINESS

(Daddy Long Legs)

JOYCE
I've discovered,
the secret of happiness is,
Learning how to glide
I've discovered,
the secret of happiness is,
Just enjoy the ride...
Don't let your journey be tainted by pride and…

JC
I've discovered,
the secret of happiness is,
not to mourn the past
I've discovered,
the secret of happiness is,
not to run too fast!

BOTH
You can still beat them by coming in last,
because,
the secret, the secret of happiness is,

JOYCE
I've discovered,
the secret of happiness is,
not to be afraid,

JC
I've discovered,
the secret of happiness is,
all illusions fade!

BOTH
Don't fear the future, you'll just be delayed, cause,
The secret, the secret of happiness is,

JC
living in the now,

JOYCE
Living in the time it takes to blink, I think, is how,
we're meant to be living..

BOTH.
I've discovered,
the secret of happiness is,
following my will…

JC
I've discovered, the secret of happiness is,
that we can run that hill,

BOTH
happiness comes when we learn to be still, and,
the secret, the secret of happiness is...
the secret of happiness is clear,
the secret of happiness is near,
the secret of happiness is here…
CHARMING

ISABEL
Oh my enchantress
Oh you beautiful thing
Charming, charming
Oh, this is really beyond anything
These dresses suit you
This one, “metallic gauze”
Straight from Paris
Anything suits you, my charmer

HOPE
Oh how she blushes, how she blushes, my pretty!

JEWELL
Oh how she blushes, how she blushes, my pretty!

ALL
Charmante, charmante!

ISABEL
You are such a lovely thing
Oh where have you been?

HOPE
It’s such a shame to bury pearls in the country

ALL
Charmante, charmante, charming

JEWELL
Now if you have a dress
You must wear it out
How can you live in Moscow and not go nowhere?
So you love somebody, charming
But that’s no reason to shut yourself in
Even if you’re engaged
You must wear your dress out somewhere

HOPE
My brother dined with me yesterday
But he didn’t eat a thing
Cuz he was thinking ’bout you
He kept sighing about you

ALL
Oh how she blushes, how she blushes, my pretty!
Oh how she blushes, how she blushes, my pretty!
Charmante, charmante!

ISABEL
You are such a lovely thing
Oh where have you been?

HOPE
It’s such a shame to bury pearls in the country

ALL
Charmante, charmante, charming

ISABEL
Now a woman with a dress
Is a frightening and powerful thing

JEWELL
You are not a child
When you’re draped in scarlet and lace

HOPE
Your fiancé would want you to have fun
Rather than be bored to death
Alliez dans le monde
Plutôt que de dépérir d’ennui!

JEWELL
My brother is quite madly in love
He is quite madly in love with you, my dear

ALL
Oh how she blushes, how she blushes, my pretty!
Oh how she blushes, how she blushes, my pretty!
Charmante, charmante!

ISABEL
You are such a lovely thing
Oh where have you been?

HOPE
It’s such a shame to bury pearls in the country

ALL
Charmante, charmante, charming
Such a shame to bury pearls in the country
Charmante, charmante, charming

CLIMBING UPHILL (hope fe joseanne)

HOPE
When you come home to me
I'll wear a sweeter smile
And hope that, for a while, you'll...
Okay, thank you
Thank you so much

I'm climbing uphill, Daddy

Climbing uphill

I'm up every morning at six

And standing in line
With two hundred girls
Who are younger and thinner than me
Who have already been to the gym

FE
I'm waiting five hours in line
And watching the girls
Just coming and going
In dresses that look just like this
Till my number is finally called

JOSEANNE
When I walk in the room
There's a table of men
Always men - usually gay
Who've been sitting like I have
And listening all day
To two hundred girls
Belting as high as they can!

JOSEANNE
I am a good person

FE: I'm an attractive person

HOPE: I am a talented person

ALL: Grant me Grace!

HOPE
When you come home...
I should have told them I was sick last week
They're gonna think this is the way I sing
Why is the pianist playing so loud?
Should I sing louder?
I'll sing louder
Maybe I should stop and start over
I'm gonna stop and start over
Why is the director staring at his crotch?

FE
Why is that man staring at my resume?
Don't stare at my resume
I made up half of my resume
Look at me
Stop looking at that, look at me
No, not at my shoes
Don't look at my shoes
I hate these stupid shoes
Why did I pick these shoes?
Why did I pick this song?
Why did I pick this career? Why

JOSEANNE
Why does this pianist hate me?
If I don't get a callback
I can go to Crate and Barrel with mom and buy a couch
Not that I want to spend a day with mom
But Jamie needs space to write
Since I'm obviously such a horrible, annoying distraction to him
What's he gonna be like when we have kids?

ALL
And once again...
Why am I working so hard?
These are the people who cast Rusell Crow in a musical
Jesus Christ, I suck, I suck, I suck
When fin'lly you come home to...

FE
Okay, thank you
Thank you so much

FE
I will not be the girl stuck at home in the 'burbs
With the baby, the dog, and the garden of herbs

JOSEANNE
I will not be the girl in the sensible shoes
Pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues

HOPE
I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels
To be trotting along at the genius's heels

GIRLS
I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by
And I...

JOSEANNE
When you come home to me
I'll wear a sweeter smile... Okay, thank you very much.

ONE NIGHT ONLY

(Dreamgirls)

SUNG
You want all my love and my devotion
You want my love and soul, right on the line
I have no doubt that I could love you, forever
The only trouble is, you really don't have the time

You've got one night only, one night only

That's all you have to spare

SUNG & ABBIE

One night only
Let's not pretend to care

SUNG, ABBIE & FE

One night only, one night only
Come on, big baby, come on
One night only
We only have 'til dawn

FE
In the morning this feeling will be gone
It has no chance going on
Something so right has got no chance to live

SUNG, ABBIE, FE
So let's forget about chances, it's one night I will give

ABBIE
One night only, one night only
You'll be the only one
One night only
Then you have to run

SUNG, ABBIE, FE
One night only, one night only
There's nothing more to say
One night only
Words get in the way

SUNG
One night only

ABBIE
One night only

FE
One night only...

BIG SPENDER Fe, Isabel, Teri, Jewell, Sung, Kyanna, Abbie

(Sweet Charity)

Isabel - Hey, fellow. Can I talk to you for a second? What's the harm in a little talk?
Teri - Hey, good looking, I like your hair!
Abbie - Hey, mister, you got a cigarette for me, huh?
Kyanna - Oh, sir, you speak French. Parlez vous Francais?
Jewell - Hey guy do you wanna dance? A little dance won't hurt ya!
Sung - Ooh, you're so tall!
ALL - Let's have some fun!

Isabel - Sssssssssss...

ALL
The minute you walked in the joint,
I could see you were a man of distinction,
A real big spender,
Good looking, so refined.
Say, wouldn't you like to know
What's going on in my mind?

So, let me get right to the point,

I don't pop my cork for ev'ry guy I see.
Hey, big spender, spend...
A little time with...me...me...me!

JEWELL
Do you wanna have fun?

ABBIE
Ssssssssssss...

SUNG
How's about (fun) a few laughs?

GIRLS
I can show you a...good time...

Do you wanna have fun...fun...fun?

How's about (fun) a few (fun) laughs (fun)
Laughs (fun) laughs
(I can show you a...)
(fun) laughs (fun) laughs
(good time)
Fun, laughs (good time)
Fun, laughs (good time)
Fun, laughs (good time)...Ssssssssssss...

FE
What did you say you are?

ISABEL
How's about a ...(laugh)

TERI
I could give you some...

JEWELL
Are you ready for some...(fun)

KYANNA SUNG ABBIE

How would you like a...

TERI JEWELL
Let me show you a ...(good time)

ALL
Hey, big spender...
Hey, big spender...

The minute you walked in the joint,

I could see you were a man of distinction,
A real big spender.
Good looking, so refined.
Say wouldn't you like to know
What's going on in my mind?

So, let me get right to the point,

I don't pop my cork for every guy I see.
Hey, big spender,
Hey, big spender!
Hey, big spender!
Spend...a little time with ...me!
Fun...Laughs...Good Time!
Fun...Laughs...Good Time!
Fun...Laughs...Good Time!
How about a palsy?...Yeah!