SEPTEMBER 2014

The Beautiful Life of Your Brain

An RD ORIGINAL ... 76

What Weve Learned So Far

By GARRISON KEILLOR ... 35

The Late-Bloomer Phenomenon

By MALCOLM GLADWELL ... 112

Why We Fall for Con Men

From THE NEW YORKER ... 120

Hang On to Your Hope

By E. B. WHITE ... 16

Raising Creative, Confident Kids

From THE ATLANTIC ... 98

THE GENIUS ISSUE

Jokes That Make You Sound Smarter
From RD.COM ... 13

What Its Like to

Notify a Nobel Prize Winner
From INTELLIGENT LIFE ... 96

Quiz: Could You Be a Genius?

From AMERICAN MENSA ... 136

Myths About the Worlds Poor

By BILL & MELINDA GATES ... 124

13 Things Homeschoolers Wont Tell You

An RD ORIGINAL ... 130

PLUS Brilliant Advice:

123 Ways to Make Wiser Choices for Your
Health, Home, Family, and Budget

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The Genius Issue
SEPTEMBER 2014

GREAT MINDS

Everyday Heroes
8 HE DIDNT MISS A BEAT M E LO DY WA R N I C K

11 A TEENS INSPIRED INVENTION A LYS SA J U N G

The RD Interview
28 THE KING OF CONNECTION
Ze Frank is the master of the cute cat videobut hes
deeper than you think. B R A N D O N S P E C K TO R
Cover Story
76 THE BEAUTIFUL LIFE OF YOUR BRAIN
The neuroscience of our most human traits.
KIMBERLY HISS

What Its Like

96 TO NOTIFY A NOBEL PRIZE WINNER
TOM WH I PPLE FROM INTELLIGENT LIFE

My Most Unforgettable Character

108 JUDGING JACK
My biggest mistake was thinking my student was
ordinary. DAV I D M CC U L LO U G H J R . F R O M YO U A R E N OT SPECIAL

Big Idea
112 THE LATE-BLOOMER PHENOMENON
Even Czanne tapped into his talent in midlife.
MALCOLM GLA DWE LL FROM WHAT THE DOG SAW

Culture
120 WHY AMERICA LOVES A CON MAN
Savvy entrepreneurs have always sold people the same
thing: dreams. JA M E S S U R OW I E C K I F R O M T H E N E W YO R K E R
National Interest
124 3 MYTHS ABOUT THE WORLDS POOR
Bill and Melinda Gates give global good news.
F R O M T H E G AT E S FO U N DAT I O N 2 0 1 4 A N N UA L L E T T E R
 The Genius Issue
A creative celebration

4 Editors Note 6 Letters

IDEAS OF INTEREST

Department of Wit
13 25 Jokes (That Make You
Sound like a Genius)
A N DY SIM M ON S

Words of Lasting Interest

16 Hang On to Your Hope
E. B. Whites letter to a man who
felt humanitys future was grim.
FROM LETTER S OF E. B. WHITE

Finish This Sentence

20 Someone Should Invent
Medical Drama
88 Frozen Back to Life
Hypothermia was often lethal.
Now doctors use it to save people.
KE V IN FON G, M D FROM EXTREME MEDICINE

Parenting
READER FAVORITES 98 The Revolution Will Not
Be Supervised
18 Life in These United States
How to raise creative kids.
23 You Be the Judge HA N N A R OSIN FROM THE ATLANTIC
26 100-Word True Stories
32 Points to Ponder
130 13 Things Homeschoolers
54 All in a Days Work
Wont Tell You
M IC HE LLE C R O U CH
70 Photo of Lasting Interest
86 Laughter, the Best
Medicine
107 Thats Outrageous!
129 Laugh Lines
146 RD.com
148 Humor in Uniform
152 Quotable Quotes
ILLUSTRATION BY
VALERO DOVAL

2 | 092014 | rd.com
 GENIUS ADVICE

35 18 Things Weve Learned

So Far
G ARRISON KEILLOR
FROM THE KEILLOR READER

Food
38 19 Ways to Cook
Everything Faster
MARK BITTMAN ADAPTED FROM
HOW TO COOK EVERYT HING FAST

Family SERIOUS FUN

42 17 Secrets of
Happy Families 132 When Scientists
B RUCE FEILER FROM THE SECRET S Experiment on Themselves
OF HA PPY FAMILIES R E GIN A N U ZZO

Home 136 Could You Be a Genius?

46 13 Clever Ways A BBIE F. SAL NY

to Clean FROM AMERICAN MENSA

A LIS ON CAPORIMO
138 The Dumbest Thing
Technology I Ever Did
48 3 Ways to Avoid 143 Word Power
Identity Theft Are you smarter than a
DAMON BERES
12th grader?
Money E M ILY COX & H E NRY R ATH VO N

50 33 Ways to Get a Deal

on Anything
Health
62 Why Does Airplane Food
Bonus
Taste So Bad?
COMPILED BY LAURE N GE LM A N
Faces of
America
66 6 Good Habits Made Even Profiles of bright
Healthier minds from across
THE PH YS ICIANS OF T H E D OCTOR S
the country.
68 What If Gluten Isnt Pages 25, 106,
Making You Sick? 142, 150
KAT E S CARLATA, RD

ADDITIONAL MEDIA IN OUR

TABLET VERSIONS
 Editors Note

Welcome to the Genius Issue

WHO ARE THE SMARTEST PEOPLE
you know? Heres my list: If smart
means clear-eyed wisdom, then my
daughters win. If smart means well-read,
then my bookworm mom wins. If smart
means worldly, then my German-born,
trilingual grandmother wins. (Women,
all of them. Hmm.) But doesnt genius
mean all those things and more?
The elegant lady who graces our
cover reminds me that genius blossoms
differentlyand beautifullyin each of
us. The genius who first comes to mind
is the person with exceptional talent
or intelligence, and you will find those
famous namesfrom Albert Einstein
to Steve Jobscelebrated here. But in
our first-ever completely themed issue,
we explore the topic in all its nuances.
If genius isnt publicly recognized, does
that mean it doesnt exist? In Judging
Jack, David McCullough Jr. ponders how
everyday brilliance so often goes unno-
ticed, while our special Faces of America
series by photojournalist Glenn Glasser
profiles four smart folks working in the
arts and sciences. We also examine
how an exceptional mind takes shape:
from The Revolution Will Not Be

4 | 092014 | rd.com
 Supervised, about a controversial danger to search for medical cures.
approach to childrens playtime, Dont worry, theres plenty of fun:
to Malcolm Gladwells treatise on jokes that make you sound like a
late-blooming creativity. genius (one of the most popular arti-
In our cover story, The Beautiful cles on rd.com), Garrison Keillors
Life of Your Brain, we examine the homespun life lessons, a Mensa
ancient circuitry of our quiz that lets you test
minds, learning how your own smarts, and
our essential modern perhaps the most
traits (including self-
Cynicism optimistic essay weve
control and the ability masquerades as ever read, by the leg-
to form a lifelong bond wisdom, but it endary E. B. White.
with a spouse) evolved. Philanthropists Bill
is the farthest
P HOTOGRAP H BY STEVE VACCARI ELLO; WA RDROBE STYL IST: E LYSHA L E NK IN

We devote the entire and Melinda Gates

Art of Living section thing from it. also deliver good news
toyou guessed it about the state of the
STEPHEN COLBERT, p a g e 1 5 2
genius advice. We world. Share a laugh
scoured the print and with more than a half
digital universe for the freshest dozen accomplished leaders who
strategies to help you improve your confess the dumbest thing theyve
health, cook fast, clean easily, enrich ever done. Heck, even our everyday
your family time, and get a deal on hero makes a brilliant discovery that
anything your heart desires. (I dare saves his moms life.
you not to learn something!) Youll find everything spelled out
We delve into the dark side of in our special table of contents. Weve
genius too: The thin line between listed stories under four themes: great
hope and hype reveals itself in minds, ideas of interest, genius advice,
James Surowieckis Why America and serious fun. Its the work of another
Loves a Con Man. In the dramatic genius in my life, Executive Editor
Frozen Back to Life, doctors Courtenay Smith, who shepherded
transform the horror of hypothermia all this brilliance onto the page.
into a lifesaving procedure. Later, Using our minds to better our lives
youll meet some adventurous and the lives around us: It doesnt
scientists who put their own lives in get any smarter than that.

I invite you to e-mail me at [email protected] and

follow me at facebook.com/lizvaccariello
and @LizVacc on Twitter.

rd.com | 092014 | 5
 Letters
COMMENTS ON THE JULY ISSUE

Best of America
A note to Professor Tyler Nordgren,
the night-sky photographer: Canyon-
lands National Parks Maze District
may be even darker than your Lassen
Volcanic. Hope you get to visit soon.
JIM GREEN, R o c k f o rd , I l l i n o i s

Senate Chaplain Barry C. Black is

right. Politicians who hold hands at
the Prayer Breakfast should have
enough sense to work together and
avoid government shutdowns.
DAVID TULANIAN, L o s An g e l e s , C a l i f o r n i a

The Brave Boy Scout most doctors, I wish for no

This boy was brave, yes, but very, chemotherapy, few medications,
very lucky. There are many times and quality over quantity in my last
when this same scenario could play days. I assisted both my parents
out as a double drowning, not a story in dying peacefully at home. God
of heroism. Please tell your readers knows that is my wish as well.
P HOTOGRAP H BY DA N ROBERTS

especially children and young CHARLENE UPTON, Mo r g a n Hi l l , C a l i f o r n i a

adultsthat they must never try to
rescue a drowning person unless After I was diagnosed with pancreatic
they are trained to do so. cancer, my family and I decided I
BETH SEIFERT, C e d a r R a p i d s , Io w a would forgo surgery and strive for a
good quality of life in the time I have
How Doctors Die left. This article confirmed my deci-
As an RN of 43 years, I have seen so sion. Thanks for this positive outlook.
much unnecessary suffering. Like KENNETH HOHE, Ha r r i s b u r g , P e n n s y l v a n i a

6 | 092014 | rd.com
Why We Forgive enough negativity in one half-hour
Desmond Tutu is always an inspira- news segment to last us for years.
tion, and the picture of hands that Could you please try to stick to
you ran adds a visual exclamation inspirational and uplifting stories?
point to his words: Turn the photo DIANA PARSONS, Hu d s o n , Ne w Ha m p s h i r e
180 degrees, and those same hands
become an arrow pointing skyward. Watch Out for the Wildman!
It really brings his message home. I am disgusted by the flagrant mis-
DON HAURY, We s t Mo n r o e , Ne w Yo r k treatment of animals for peoples
entertainment, and I hope the
Points to Ponder investigation will lead to banning
Senator Elizabeth Warren misses such practices. Thanks for publishing
the point when she uses the expres- this article. B. N., v i a e - m a i l
sion gun violence. The enemy in our
society is violence of all types, and Sensory Seduction
if we take away one tool, those who This story was very enlightening.
are driven to hurt others will find My sweet grandmother died in 1986,
another. Instead, we should focus and to this day, the smell of Jergens
on what causes people to act out. lotion brings memories of her
TOM HAIKIN, W i l l i a m s b u r g , Vi r g i n i a wonderfully soft hands. I need only
to close my eyes and breathe in that
A Poison Runs Through It cherry-almond scent to feel the
Having read this story, and having warmth of her love.
put up with all that goes on in the LILLIE TIDWELL, W i c h i t a Fa l l s , Te x a s
federal and state governments, my
new motto is reelect no one. Elected The Case of the
officials must realize they are respon- Bone Marrow Buyer
sible to those who voted them in, not This piece inspired me to join the
to big business. C. P., v i a e - m a i l national bone marrow registryI had
no idea there was such a need. I hope
I was shocked to see this diatribe that one day I have the opportunity to
in your magazine. The author has help someone. Thanks, RD!
a right to his views, but there is MELISSA HOPPER, R i p o n , C a l i f o r n i a

Send letters to [email protected] or Letters, Readers Digest, PO Box 6100, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1600. Include your full
name, address, e-mail, and daytime phone number. We may edit letters and use them in all print and electronic media.
Contribute Send us your 100-word true stories and funny jokes and quotes, and if we publish one in a print edition of
Readers Digest, well pay you $100. To submit your 100-word stories, visit rd.com/stories. To submit humor items, visit
rd.com/submit, or write to us at Jokes, Box 6226, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1726. Please include your full name and address in
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Visit rd.com/help, call 877-732-4438, or write to us at Readers Digest, PO Box 6095, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1595.

rd.com | 092014 | 7
 EVERYDAY
HEROES
Inspired by his grandfathers ingenuity,
Andrew Josephson saved his mothers life

He Didnt Miss a Beat

BY M ELO DY WARNIC K

IN MAY 2013, Andrew Josephson, 50-year career as a prominent

23, was clearing a spot in his parents Philadelphia cardiologist.
basement for his college gear, and These should be heard, Andrew
he stumbled upon a mysterious thought.
old set of CDs. The disc jacket read That summer, Andrew, a recent
Heart Sounds and Murmurs, by graduate of Lehigh University with
Daniel Mason, MD. Mason was a biochemistry degree, bought books
Andrews grandfather. on computer coding and, ensconced
The CDs were accompanied in his familys summer home on
by a booklet, the size of a CD case, Long Beach Island, New Jersey,
which explained that the discs taught himself how to write a mobile
contained the sounds of 125 differ- app of heart sounds for smart-
ent heartbeats, some indicating phones. I was lifeguarding all
rare heart conditions. Dr. Mason,
who passed away at 92 in 2011, My mom never goes to the doctor, says
had recorded them throughout his Andrew. The app changed her mind.

8 | 092014 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPH BY ROBYN TWOMEY

E V E R Y D AY H E R O E S

day, then writing code until 1 a.m., At home, Andrew gave his mother
says Andrew. another test with the app. Again, it
The program used an iPhone micro- registered an abnormal reading. Now
phone to record a heartbeat and then Tina was convinced she should see
match it with Dr. Masons recordings her doctor.
to determine if the beat was irregular. A week later, tests revealed that
By July, Andrew had created a Tina was suffering from mitral valve
prototype, which he first tried on his regurgitation, a serious disorder that
own heart. As he expected, it regis- prevents a heart valve from shutting
tered that his heartbeat was normal. properly. Left untreated, the condition
The heartbeat of his father, Jeffrey, can cause heart failure.
also registered normal, as did those When Tina told her doctor that
of his sister Molly and the neighbors her sons smartphone app had
and friends he tested. But when persuaded her to seek him out,
Andrew used the app to test his he was amazed, Tina says.
mother, Tina, her heart sound came Later, when Tina showed a video
up abnormal. He recorded it several of her echocardiogram to Jeffrey
more times, and each time, the app and Andrew, they saw an image

P REVIOUS S PREA D: REDUX FOR READER S DIGEST; GROOM ER: TIF FAN Y SAXBY
produced the same outcome. of a colored jet of blood going the
At some point, youre going to get wrong way, says Andrew. When
that result, he says now. But I would I saw what the iPhone was picking
rather it not have been my mom. up, the possible impact of the app
Tina herself was skeptical. This really hit me.
cant be right, she said to Andrew. In March, Tina underwent
Im fine. At 54, Tina, a family doctor, successful open-heart surgery. Shes
was fit and felt well; she was not a now back at work seeing patients,
textbook candidate for heart prob- and shes playing tennis, running,
lems. But months later on a family ski and cycling again.
trip, Tina noticed she was exhausted Andrews initial curiosity about
at the end of each run. Her mind his grandfathers recordings and his
returned to the irregular reading tenacity in making the app astound
shed received from Andrews app. Tina. Im just very lucky, she says.
What if it was right? she wondered. My son saved my life.

NOMINATE A HERO! In 100 words or fewer, tell us about someone

who has impressed you with a brave deed, kind act, or humanitarian
effort in 2014. The story could be published in a future issue. E-mail the
details and your name, location, and phone number to [email protected].

10 | 092014 | rd.com
 Joseph,
who has
won several
engineering
awards,
with his
tester teddy
bear

A Teens Inspired Invention

BY ALYSSA JUNG
COURTESY JOSEPH ANA ND. PHOTOGRA PH BY CLAI RE BEN OIST (PHOTO BORD E R)

JOSEPH ANAND, 15, is an engineer, offered technical assistance,

electronics whiz with a heart of gold. and a University of Akron computer
When the Akron, Ohio, thenninth science professor taught the young-
grader read news reports about ster software coding. Joseph tested
injured veterans returning from the prototype on a giant teddy bear.
Afghanistan, he immediately thought In September 2013, Joseph demon-
he could use his robotics knowledge strated his device at the World Maker
to make their lives at home a little Faire New York, a gathering of ama-
easier. I want to be an Air Force teur inventors. Now hes putting on
pilot, Joseph says. So it felt good the final touches and has filed for a
to think that I could help the military patent. His goal is to have the device
in some small way. approved for official testing at veter-
The teen turned his familys living ans hospitals, but first hes turning
room into a workshop and took a his attention to his studies. I have
year to create a motorized pulley high school to finish and college to
system that can be calibrated by a start, so it might take a year or two to
physical therapist to help soldiers test the device in real life, says Joseph.
exercise. The device also has a built- Regardless of the timeline, giving
in sensor that monitors and adjusts back will always be part of Josephs
weights to provide the right amount life, he says. My parents taught me
of resistance. that if youre blessed with a talent,
Josephs father, Vijay, an electrical you use it to help others.

rd.com | 092014 | 11
 2013 The Clorox Pet Products Company.

Eliminates
nat
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tes
tes Odors
Odo
Od
do
d o rs from
fro
fr
rrom
om
m
1 Urine 2 Fe
F
Feces
eces 3 Bacteria
B act
ctte
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erri a

Cats everywhere are having a hard time smelling their litter boxes Carb
Ca
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Extracts
rac
Plantt Extra
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Ext
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iminate Ody!
llilim
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ts
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Naturall
thanks to Fresh Step Triple Action Na

freshstep.com
VOICES VIEWS

Department of Wit

25 Jokes
( (
That Make
You Sound
Like a Genius
BY A N DY S I M M O NS

THE SMARTEST JOKE I ever These gags, held in high esteem

heard was so clever, I didnt get it. among the literati, are best told
while wearing a smoking jacket
It had to be explained to me seven
and a smug smile.
times before I sort of got it. By the
eighth explanation, Id wised up What do you get when you
enough to say, Oh, now I get it, 1 cross a joke with a rhetorical
just to shut them up. Here it is: question?
Counting in binary is as easy as
01 10 11. Im still not sure I get it, A pun, a play on words, and
but I tell it all the time just so I sound 2 a limerick walk into a bar.
smart. (Heres the kind of joke I like: No joke.
What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt.)
If you want to find out how it Oh, man! A hyperbole totally
feels to sound smart, try out some 3 ripped into this bar and
of these jokes. destroyed everything!
ILLUSTRATIONS BY STEVE WACKSMAN rd.com | 092014 | 13
D E PA R T M E N T O F W I T

This sentence A recent

4 contains exactly 9 finding
threeee erors. by statisticians
shows the average
Knock, human has
5 knock. one breast
Whos there? and one testicle.
To.
To who? Unless their instrument
No, to whom. is the triangle, musicians
are looked upon as highly
cultured. Leach off their
Nothing has scrambled reputation with these:
more brains than the
sight of numerals waiting Why did Beethoven get
to be added, subtracted, 10 rid of his chickens? All they
divided, multiplied, or fractioned. said was, Bach, Bach, Bach ...
So if you can tell a digit-laden
joke without stumbling, get ready
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
for a phone call from Mensa! 11 The bartender shows them the
Q: How do mathematicians door and says, Sorry, we dont serve
6 scold their children? minors.
A: If Ive told you n times, Ive told
you n+1 times ... A sign at a music shop: Gone
12 Chopin. Bach in a minuet.
A mathematician wanders
7 back home at 3 a.m. and
proceeds to get an earful from
13 Q: What was Beethovens
favorite fruit?
his wife. A: BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA!
Youre late! she yells. You said
youd be home by 11:45! To me, a periodic table is what
Actually, the mathematician opens up whenever I walk into a
replies coolly, I said Id be home by fancy restaurant. But telling these
a quarter of 12. science-y gags screams, Behold!
I am that person who did not blow
up my chemistry class.
Did you hear about the
8 mathematician whos afraid A photon is going through
of negative numbers? 14 airport security. The TSA
He will stop at nothing to avoid agent asks if he has any luggage. The
them. photon says, No, Im traveling light.

14 | 092014 | rd.com
 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

What did the DNA say to the God, how much is a million
15
other DNA? Do these genes dollars?
make me look fat? To me, its a penny.
God, may I have a penny?
The bartender says, We dont Wait a minute.
16serve time travelers in here.
A time traveler walks into a bar. Is it your hope to impress upon
people that youve been around the
Did you hear about the globe a few times, even though a
17suicidal homeopath? He took walk into the living room is too far?
1/50th of the recommended dose. Trot out these worldly gags:
If you jumped off the bridge in
Religion is fraught with roiling
21 Paris, youd be in Seine.
self-doubt and unwavering faith.
Show youre well aware of the issues Your mama is so classless, she
by sharing these jests (and be sure 22 could be a Marxist utopia.
to call them a jest, which sounds
way smarter than a joke!)
A German walks into a bar
23
18 Aisland,
ship, sailing past a remote
spots a man who has
and asks for a martini. The
bartender asks, Dry?
been stranded there for several years. The German replies, Nein, just
The captain goes ashore to rescue one.
the man and notices three huts.
Whats the first hut for? he asks. Ren Descartes walks into
Thats my house, says the castaway. 24 a bar. The bartender says,
Whats the second hut for? Would you like a beer?
Thats my church. Descartes replies, I think not,
And the third hut? and promptly disappears.
Oh, that? sniffs the castaway.
Thats the church I used to go to. Did you hear about the weekly
25 poker game with Vasco da
What did the Buddhist say to Gama, Christopher Columbus,
19
the hot dog vendor? Make me Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro?
one with everything. They can never seem to beat the
Straights of Magellan.
A man is talking to God. God,
20
how long is a million years?
God answers, To me, its about a
Are you as confused as I am by these
jokes? Go to rd.com/september for a full
minute. explanation of each one.

rd.com | 092014 | 15
WORDS OF LASTING INTEREST

Beloved author E. B. White responds to a letter

he received predicting a grim future for humanity

Hang On
To Your Hope
North Brooklin, Maine
30 March 1973
Dear Mr. Nadeau,
As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate
woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate. Hope is the
thing that is left to us, in a bad time. I shall get up Sunday morning and wind
the clock, as a contribution to order and steadfastness.
Sailors have an expression about the weather: they say, the weather is a
great bluffer. I guess the same is true of our human societythings can look
dark, then a break shows in the clouds, and all is changed, sometimes rather
suddenly. It is quite obvious that the human race has made a queer mess
of life on this planet. But as a people we probably harbor seeds of goodness
that have lain for a long time waiting to sprout when the conditions are right.
Mans curiosity, his relentlessness, his inventiveness, his ingenuity have led
him into deep trouble. We can only hope that these same traits will enable
him to claw his way out.
Hang on to your hat. Hang on to your hope. And wind the clock, for tomorrow
is another day.
Sincerely,
E. B. White

A noted essayist, White wrote Charlottes Web and Stuart Little and coauthored
The Elements of Style. He died in 1985.
FROM THE BOOK LETTERS OF E. B. WHITE, COPYRIGHT 2006 BY WHITE LITERARY LLC,
PUBLISHED BY HARPER, AN IMPRINT OF HARPERCOLLINS, HARPERCOLLINS.COM.

16 | 092014 | rd.com
PHOTOGRAPH BY DAN WINTERS rd.com | 092014 | 17
 Life
IN THESE UNITED STATES

The lions insisted.

THE BARBERSHOP was crowded, sending him a check with this note:
so the woman at the cash register Do not cash until you write me a
offered to put my name on the thank-you. A few weeks later, the
waiting list. What is it? she asked. check had cleared, yet no message
Stephen, with a P-H, I said. had arrived. So she called him.
Minutes later, a chair opened up, I told you not to cash the check
and my name was called: Pheven? until youd written to thank me, she
STEPHEN HUDSON, Fa l m o u t h , Ma i n e complained.
I didnt cash the check, he said.
TO GET MY COUSIN to write to I deposited it.
her even once, my aunt resorted to MARK FORMAN, B e rk e l e y He ig ht s, Ne w Je r s e y

18 | 092014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY PHIL WITTE

I RECENTLY STUMBLED upon was on the witness stand, I see
my favorite new sports team. Its an acronym on this receipt. What
a womans bowling squad called would CAR stand for?
I Cant Believe Its Not Gutter. The defendant replied, Car.
JACQUELINE TESSMAN, KRISTI BOERNER, F l e m i n g , C o l o ra d o
B e n t o n Ha r b o r, Mi c h i g a n

IF YOUVE SEEN ME impatiently

QUESTIONS ON YAHOO that will standing in line, then youve seen
destroy your faith in humanity: me dancing at a concert.
Can I safely look at a picture @SAMMYRHODES
of the sun?
How can I be sure Im the real
mom of my kid?
How do you get spaghetti
stains out of underwear?
SPEL CHEKERS
Source: buzzfeed.com

On Facebook, the English

THE BEAN SOUP Id ordered was language has few friends.
mostly water. I decided to tell the Three examples:
waitress.
This soup is awful, I said. Post: I cant stand people
I know, she said. I dont like that dont know the difference
bean soup either. J. M., v i a m a i l between your and youre. There
so dumb.
Response: Their, their, calm
EVENTS HAD LEFT MY son-in-
down. Source: studentbeans.com
laws sister feeling sad, and she
started tearing up. Luckily, our Post: Is it me or does nobody
two-year-old grandson was nearby have manors these days?
to dispense words of wisdom. Response: I just have a normal
Dont cry, he said. Sometimes house. Source: studentbeans.com

batteries die and toys break.

PERRY FINKELMAN,
Post: I do not have patients for
We s t He m p s t e a d , Ne w Yo r k stupid today.
Response: Patience.
Source: lamebook.com
WHILE SERVING JURY DUTY,
I noticed that the defense attorney
seemed a bit nervous. At one Would you rather post I got $100 for
point, he picked up a piece of being funny on Facebook? See page 7
evidence and asked his client, who for details, or go to rd.com/submit.

rd.com | 092014 | 19
FINISH THIS SENTENCE

Someone should
invent...
Boise, ID
bike lanes above cities, like skywalks,

to keep cyclists safe

and drivers happy.
KIMBERLY LEWIS

shopping carts with

teleportation phone chargers.

MISSY PARSONS JOHNSON
try traveling across the world
with three kids under six!
DIANA JAUREGUI DE SEVILLA

an
underground
road
San Diego, CA for emergency responders.
MEGHAN NGUYEN

a phone line

to heaven.
TINA GAGNE
a remote
control Laredo, TX
to find my remote
control.
SHANE STOCK

20 | 092014 | rd.com
 a vaccination
to prevent meanness in
human beings.
JAGESH JHA a way for people to have their own

theme music,
so when you meet them, you
immediately know if they are good
or evillike in a movie.
KELLY JOHNSON
Minneapolis, MN

a dream
recorder.
Id like to be able to watch the
good ones again and again. Columbus, OH

AMBER ASHABRANNER

McCune, KS
pants that

actually
a pipeline catch fire
when you lie.
to carry floodwaters from RAYMOND PORTALATIN
different parts of the country to
California. It really needs water
for fighting fires and droughts.
MARIE TERNULLO LEE

New Orleans, LA

Houston, TX

Go to facebook.com/readersdigest
for the chance to finish the next sentence.
rd.com | 092014 | 21
 Yankee Yooper on The Right Wing:
the Keweenaw The Good, The Bad,
and the Crazy
Philip J. Howard, Jr., M.D.
Charles Phillip Rider
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9781493187898 | Paperback | $17.95 www.xlibris.com
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Practice surgery on a Michigan upper peninsula An up-close and personal glimpse into the
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about. Father Marquette and the Mississippi Right Wing, The Good, The Bad and The Crazy is a
River? Global warming? Lake Superior? The comprehensive expos about the shocking
Toledo war? Civil War? Old Hickory Andrew social and political realities currently facing the
Jackson? DeWitt Clinton? Ben Franklin? Enjoy nation and its people.
learning about the Keweenaw and those who
shaped the UP history.
Peruvian Short Stories

Sally Loves . . . To Swim! Dorila A. Marting

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Marting brings these childhood accounts to life
A beautifully written and illustrated childrens with a narrative that is as distinctively authentic
book, Sally swims, bikes, runs and dreams as it is universally relatable.
of doing a triathlon. A captivating story
that inspires young readers to be active. The
uplifting theme will resonate with children and Passive Conict
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lrene Camus Smith
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to 14 Handicapper
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Witness the true account of one British family
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who were able to cope up living on the island
www.xlibris.com of Jersey with the German enemy and how they
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survived its siege and near starvation during
The Diary of a 10 to 14 Handicapper is a collection World War II in Passive Confict.
of notes based on the observations author Philip
Moses had made or things he had learned each
day that he was on the golf course or at the range.
 YOU BE THE JUDGE

When a prospective
groom misbehaves
and then calls off the
wedding, should he
pay the expenses?

The Case
Of the
Jilted Bride
BY VIC KI GLEMB OCKI

LAUREN SERAFIN was heading girls, as well as the groom-to-be.

into the busiest, most exciting month She had spent money on her bridal
of her life. In just five weeks, on August shower at Quartino Ristorante on
21, 2010, she would marry her fianc, the North Side and on two plane
Robert Leighton, in Chicago, where tickets to Bora-Bora for the honey-
theyd been living together for about moon. And she had bought a $5,000
a year. The couple were both young wedding gown.
lawyers fresh out of Loyola Law School Leighton still had one thing left on
and had dated for two years before his to-do list. On July 16, he hopped
Leighton proposed on July 2, 2009. on a plane to Las Vegas with some
Using money from her parents friends for a weekend bachelor party.
and her own funds, Serafin had Back at home the following weekend,
made deposits on a band, salon he attended a shower with Serafin,
services, a florist, a photographer, and they received lots of gifts and
and a banquet room and catering at talked about their big day.
the Ritz-Carlton Chicago. She had On July 28, while Leighton was in
purchased dresses, accessories, and the shower, his phone received a
gifts for her bridesmaids and flower text, and Serafin read the message.

ILLUSTRATION BY NOMA BAR rd.com | 092014 | 23

YO U B E T H E J U D G E

It was from a woman named Danielle, he had had sex with Danielle.
indicating that she and Leighton Serafin asked Leighton to pay
had been intimately involved during for the wedding expenses she had
his trip to Vegas. Serafin asked accrueda total of $62,814.71but
Leighton about it, and he denied he refused. On October 6, Serafin
it. When she pressed the issue, he sent a letter stating she would file a
admitted that the two had kissed, civil action. Then, on March 4, 2011,
and then he said he wanted to call her attorney, Enrico J. Mirabelli, filed
off the wedding. a complaint with the Circuit Court
Still concerned that she didnt of Cook County.
have the whole story, Serafin tried Basically, this is a contract case,
to contact Danielle directly. She says Mirabelli. Its a breach of
received a response from a person promise to marry.
calling on behalf of Danielle, stating
that Leighton not only had had sexual After canceling the wedding, should
relations with Danielle but also had Robert Leighton be required to
never let on that he was engaged. reimburse his former fiance for
Finally, Leighton confessed that wedding expenses? You be the judge.

THE VERDICT

Theres an antiquated statute in Illinois and a few other states called the
Breach of Promise to Marry Act, which covers breaches of promises or
agreements to marry. The only condition is this: Within three months of
the breach, the plaintiff must mail a letter in a sealed envelope with first-
class postage prepaid informing the defendant about the intent to file
suit. Serafin did just that. But this case never made it to court; it was settled
for an undisclosed amount days after the complaint was filed. We brought
this lawsuit to recoup damages, says Mirabelli. My client was very satisfied
[with the settlement]. And Mirabelli can reveal the storys moral: What
happens in Vegas doesnt always stay in Vegas.

Do you have a case? E-mail a synopsis of your situation along with your name
and location to rd.com/letters (include the word judge in the subject line) for
a chance to be included in an upcoming issue.

24 | 092014 | rd.com
 FACES
OF AMERICA

BY GLEN N GLASSER

Bobak Ferdowsi
PA S A D E N A , C A L I F O R N I A

Im one of the engineers at NASAs Jet

Propulsion Laboratory and was part of the
team for the Curiosity rover, which landed
on Mars in 2012. My parents have always
encouraged me to do what I love. They
even sent me to space camp, where I had
my first kiss! I remember that distinctly
I dont know if everybody can say that. Its
a pretty nerdy, awesome experience.

rd.com | 092014 | 25
 Your True Stories
IN 100 WORDS

A HARD CALL ten years, except for three

T he phone
was ringing.
My palms were
months when he broke
his foot. Finally he
could walk again.
sweaty, and my I thought Mother
heart was pound- forgot me, he said,
ing. I was fearful but when she saw
that the recipient me, she smiled and
of my call would be said, I love you.
angry. A pleasant- Then my father sobbed.
sounding woman NANCY ABESHAUS,
picked up: Hello? Can Wa k e f i e l d , R h o d e Is l a n d

I speak with the parents of Sergeant

Jones? I asked. The woman paused TO TONIGHT
and then replied, Im sorry. He
was killed in Iraq a year ago. I took
a deep breath and said, I know.
S ometimes I tend to think about
what I dont have: a house on
the ocean, a big career I could use
I was the nurse who took care of to impress people at my high school
him. I wanted to let you know that reunion. Then I hear his car in the
he wasnt alone. I held his hand. driveway. I think well grill tonight.
She wasnt angry. I was relieved. Later well watch some reruns of
ERIN POPE, R i v e r s i d e , C a l i f o r n i a sitcoms from a long time ago that
remind me of when we were young.
I THOUGHT SHE FORGOT Hell doze off, and itll be time for

T hree times in my life I saw my

father cry. The first was when
his mother died. I was seven. The
the day to end. Well say good night
to the cats. Were all still here, a
miracle. When Im very old, I will
second was at the airport when my wish for a day like this.
brother departed for Vietnam. The KATHY CORNELL, Ha d d a m , C o n n e c t i c u t
third was when my father was in
his 80s. My mother, in late-stage
Alzheimers, resided in a nursing
Send us your true story of 100
words or fewerit might be worth $100.
home. He had visited her daily for Go to rd.com/stories for details.

26 | 092014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY KAGAN MCLEOD

 Take Osteo Bi-Flex. Its specially formulated
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#ReadyForAction
THE RD INTERVIEW

Ze Frank is the master of the cute cat video. But dont

let that fool youhes deeper than you think.

The King
Of Connection
BY BR A N D O N S P E C KTOR

HE HAS BEEN CALLED the Maharajah of New Media and a creative

genius. Hes a neuroscientist by schooling and a performance artist by nature.
As the executive vice president of video for BuzzFeeds website since 2006,
Ze (pronounced Zay) Frank, 42, and his team have created more than 1,600
videos, many of which have made history by being watched millions of times.
Frank has a talent for tapping into the universal psyche of Internet users,
teasing out their hidden anxieties, passions, and dreams and distilling them
into quirky, imaginative, profound, three-minute audiovisual bites that viewers
then feel compelled to like, tweet, and forward to everyone they know.

Why do we share things online? Whats another reason?

One reason: A video might explain Its what I call an emotional gift: This
part of who you are better than video made me feel this way, and
words. We had a pretty big video I want you to feel this
called Why Its Hard Out There way too. That covers
for a Lefty. Only 10 percent of the humor, but it can also
population is left-handed, but when cover thankfulness or re-
a group of people see a video that storing faith in humanity.
says something about themselves For instance, after a trag-
that a lot of others dont know much edy, some of us go into
about, they share it. They say, Wow! a spiral of wondering if
Finally somebody gets it! Every time people are good or not. So
I write with a pencil, theres a smudge things that can restore faith
on my hand! in kindness are popular.

28 | 092014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY SEAN MCCABE

Do some feelings spread more been hard for you to admit to. This
quickly and help people connect can apply to almost anyonesay,
better than others? someone with red hair or someone
Yes. Feeling awkward, for instance, raised by Asian-immigrant parents.
is a big one. Anything that makes I think this is one of the greatest gifts
you feel the most alone also has the of this era: Because of the Internet,
greatest power to connect you. Its we can start to type a question into
when you recognize yourself in a Google and watch the question
book or a poem or a video, or you auto-fill. In that moment, we know
hear something revealing thats someone else has asked that same
question. The gift of realizing youre
not alone is incredibly powerful.

What can we do about bullies who

exploit the desire for connection?
Its best to ignore them. But they are
a reality. You have to come to a point
where you can be exposed to them
but not allow them to deter you from
trying to live your life.

Theyre hard to ignore.

Absolutely. I once read about
a psychological study that said a
negative interaction has five times
the power of a positive interaction.

Whats the most inspiring thing

youve seen people do
on the Web?
There was a point at
which we almost gave

Frank with images from

some of his viral videos
(clockwise from left):
Why Its Hard Out There
for a Lefty, Sad Cat
Diary, and True Facts
About Morgan Freeman

rd.com | 092014 | 29
THE RD INTERVIEW

the Internet a free passour expec- Im talking about in each scene.

tations of it were so low. If a few I dont say, Isnt it crazy how cats
people got together to do anything, meow outside your door? I turn
we were like, Oh my gosh, its it into the crazy way a cat might be
amazing! Now the Web plays such thinking about that circumstance. For
a core part in our experience, so I cat owners, it captures a facet of this
have the same expectations for it that nonverbal relationship. You are so
I have for the rest of the world. Im invested in the relationship that its
always glad when people come fun to hear about it in a playful way.
together to help each otherwhether
theyre raising money for somebody in Why was that video so much more
a bad situation or making a creative popular than Sad Dog Diary?
piece like a song. Cats are more popular in general
[on the Internet]. Whats so funny
Does your background in neuro about cats is that they have this kind
science help you reach people? of aloof, superior vibe to them. Even
I studied neuroscience at the cellular if you love them, they are unpredict-
level, so I was looking at learning able. Dogs are more social, and the
and memory in the visual cortex of way that they attach and bond to us
rats. [Laughs] Neuroscience mainly is much more human.
exposed me to a way of thinking
about experimentation, about what At the end of the day, what do you
you believe to be true and how you think most people want to feel when
could prove itand how to approach they go online?

P REVIOUS S PREA D: A LL IM AGES: COURTESY Z E F RAN K

things in a methodical manner. Most of us yearn for really intimate,
healthy, in-person relationships.
Lets talk about one of your hit People have a deep desire to be
videos. Why do you think Sad Cat understood, to be told that its OK,
Diary was so successful? that youre not isolated and broken,
BuzzFeed founder Jonah Peretti likes that this is part of the human
to say, Its not about cats; its about challenge, and that there is hope.
people. If you spend a lot of time The capacity for online interactions
with cats, youll know exactly what to do that is powerful.

YOU DONT SAY

If you speak when angry, youll make the best speech
youll ever regret. GROUCHO MARX

30 | 092014 | rd.com
 Points to Ponder
THE CORE STRATEGY for self-control SEPARATE BEDS MEANS better
is to cool the now and heat the sleep, which in turn can produce
laterpush the temptation in front healthier spouses and a happier
of you far away in space and time, marriage Though when I gingerly
and bring the distant consequences mentioned this theory to my
closer in your mind. husband and he agreed with me,
I did feel a tiny bit hurt.
WALTER MISCHEL,
professor of psychology, from his book HOLLY ALLEN,
The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control w e b d e s i g n e r, on slate.com

BOOKS ARE PERSONAL, passionate. IVE COME TO APPRECIATE, with

DAVI D LEVEN SON /GETTY IMAG E S

They stir emotions and spark the tyranny of the e-mail inbox,
thoughts in a manner all their own, how important thank-you notes are.
and Im convinced that the shattered If theres an activist out there whos
world has less hope for repair if doing great work, sure, I can tweet,
reading becomes an ever smaller but it means more if I write a note.
part of it.
SAMANTHA POWER,
FRANK BRUNI, U. S . a m b a s s a d o r t o t h e Un i t e d Na t i o n s ,
op-ed columnist, in the New York Times in New York

In our culture, we have these twin

myths: One is that genius falls fully
formed from the sky, and people
who are truly brilliant dont have
to work. The other is that anyone
can do anything. Neither is
remotely true. MAGGIE SHIPSTEAD,
novelist, in Entertainment Weekly

Think up! Sign up for a daily Points to Ponder

e-mail at rd.com/ptp.

32 | 092014 | rd.com
 When its played
beautifully, football is a
symphony. And when its
played hard, its a war.
JIMMY FALLON,
talk-show host, in Vogue

TO LIVE ENTIRELY in public is a form ABOVE A CERTAIN LEVEL, intelli-

of solitary confinement. gence doesnt have much effect on
creativity: Most creative people are
MARGARET ATWOOD, pretty smart, but they dont have to
a u t h o r, in the New York Review of Books be that smart, at least as measured
by conventional intelligence tests.
WHEN I WATCH police dramas,
I always say to my wife, Couldnt NANCY ANDREASEN,
FROM TOP: LLOYD BI SHOP/NBC/GETTY I MAGES . WIN M CN AM EE/GETTY IMAG E S

they do this without showing the neuroscientist, in the Atlantic

suffering of the victims families?

As Ive gotten older, its the pain in THE PUBLIC ALWAYS GETS its hackles
the people left behind that upsets up about sensible innovations like seat
me. I have a tremendous fear belts and granola and the all-volunteer
of my children having to deal military and no-smoking rules in cancer
with my death. wards. The public needs to zip it.

PENN JILLETTE, JOE QUEENAN,

magician, in an interview with Readers Digest columnist, in the Wall Street Journal

You cant expect to preempt

surprises. You just have to
recognize that surprises will come,
and force the system to build
stronger defenses that can help it
withstand the extreme ones.
TIMOTHY GEITHNER,
f o r m e r s e c r e t a r y o f t h e Tr e a s u r y , from his book Stress Test:
Reflections on Financial Crises
 WHEN WE ALL
COME TOGETHER
CANCER DOESNT STAND
A CHANCE

FRIDAY, SEPT 5th

8PM / 7 CENTRAL

GO TO STANDUP2CANCER.ORG

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 ART of LIVING

18 Things Weve
Learned So Far
BY G A R R I S O N K E I L LO R FR O M
TH E BOOK THE KEILLO R R E A DE R

I TURNED 70 aboard a
ship on the Atlantic Ocean, just
so I could do it quietly, without
a cake flaming up like the wreck
of the Hindenburg and a bunch
of friends singing to me in their
crinkly, ruined voices. And it
was the right thing to doa little
lunch on the aft deck as the ship
plowed through the fog, not far
from where the Titanic went
down. When I returned home, I
found that younger people now
addressed me as Sir. And when
I spoke, they got all hushed as if
it were an invocation, which was
gratifying. Ive waited a long
time to reach this level of
veneration, and now that Ive
gotten here, I might as well
dispense some wisdom.
PHOTOGRAPH BY RALPH SMITH rd.com | 092014 | 35
1 8 T H I N G S W E V E L E A R N E D S O FA R

1 The rules for mothering and

fathering are: Keep your voice
down; no sudden moves; dont
and you will be again. Extend
yourself. On the other hand, your
home is your home; it isnt the bus
crowd the child. Keep all thoughts station. Scripture says to give all you
of disaster to yourself. Find out how have to the poor, but if you did, then
to enjoy being with your child, and you would be poor and theyd have
do that as often as possible, even if to give it back, and so on and so
it almost kills you. on. But anybody can afford to
give 10 percent.

2 Take care of your friends

because there will come a time
when youre not much fun to be with 6 There isnt a lot you can do,
but you ought to do that much.
and there is no reason to like you And if you do, youll likely find there
except out of long-standing habit. is more you can do, and you should
try to do that too.

3 Put a big dish by the door, next

to an electrical outlet, and when
you come home, put your car keys, 7 No matter how much you want
to keep your secret secret, you
your billfold, and your extra glasses know that eventually people will find
in the dish, and plug your mobile out, so you should start now to think
phone into the outlet to recharge. up a good story. The secret may be
In the time youll save not looking shameful, but if you can make it
for these items in the morning, youll interesting, youll be less an object
be able to write War and Peace. Or of pity and scorn. And that is good.
the Mass in B Minor.

4 Dont think ill of crazy people

you may be one of them.
8 Dont beat up on yourself. End-
less contrition is a pain. Make
your apology, repair the damage,
hold your head up, and march on.

5 Be hospitable to strangers. You

9
ILLUSTRATION BY JOE MCKENDRY

have been a stranger yourself, Its good to dream, but the urge
to perform is not in itself an
indication of talent.
GARRISON KEILLOR

10
is a humorist, author, Never marry someone who
and storyteller and the
lacks a good sense of humor.
host of the radio show
A Prairie Home She will need it. It is a challenge
Companion. to live intimately with your best-
informed critic.

36 | 092014 | rd.com
  R E A D E R S D I G E ST

11 Tall people cannot count on

short people to look out for
things tall people might bump their
15 Flattery is the reverse side of
malicious gossip, and this coin
is very quickly flipped. Beware.
heads on. You have to take care of
that yourself.
16 Acts have consequences,
and we are responsible for

12 Most tragedy is misunder-

stood comedy. God is a great
humorist working with a rather glum
them even if we didnt intend them.
Be kind, and exercise caution. Step
on a crack and break your mothers
audience. Lighten up. Whatever you back. Who knew it could happen?
must do, do it gladly. As you get Anyway, its your fault, so quit your
older, youll learn how to fake this. job and take care of the old lady and
dont complain.

13 Your friends are very fond

of you, but there are limits.
Sadness is tedious. When discussing 17 People have made perfectly
rational decisions that turned
your troubles, be concise. Five min- out to be dumber than dirt. There
utes and then change the subject. just doesnt seem to be any way
around this.

14 Do unto those who dont like

you as you would have them
do unto you, but you know they 18 The best cure for a disastrous
day is to go to bed early and
wont. Do this before they can do the wake up fresh in the morning and
devious deed to you that they would start over. In fact, I am going to do
P ROP STY LIST: SARAH GUI DO FOR HA LLEY RESOURC ES

do if given the chance. Shame them exactly that right now. Good night.
with goodness. Kill them with kind- God bless you. Close the door on
ness. Cut their throats with courtesy. your way out.
THE KEILLOR READER, BY GARRISON KEILLOR, COPYRIGHT 2014 BY GARRISON KEILLOR, IS PUBLISHED BY VIKING,
A MEMBER OF PENGUIN GROUP (USA) LLC, PENGUIN.COM.

THE CARTOON SURVIVAL GUIDE

I always thought quicksand was gonna be a bigger problem

than it turned out to be. You watch cartoons, and quicksand is
like the third biggest thing you have to worry about, right behind
sticks of dynamite and giant anvils falling on you from the sky.
JOHN MULANEY, co m e di a n

rd.com | 092014 | 37
GENIUS ADVICE FOOD

A famous cookbook author has come up with

the most efficient kitchen routine ever

19 Ways to Cook
Everything Faster
BY MA R K B I T T M A N
ADAP T ED F R OM TH E B OO K H OW TO CO O K E V E RYT H I N G FAST

Start with heat. Before doing anything else, turn on

1 the oven, crank up the broiler, preheat a skillet, and set
water to boil. Appliances, pots, pans, and water take time to
get hot. Boiling water is always my first move.

Use kitchen scissors to chop cooked or tender raw

2 vegetables (especially greens) right in the bowl or pan.

MARK BITTMAN Put all the produce together in a colander and rinse
writes for the 3 under cold water. (If you have a large amount, wash
New York in batches, putting whats done on towels.) During downtime
ILLUSTRATION BY JOE MCKENDRY

Times and has

penned several
while cooking, wash vegetables used toward the end of a
bestselling recipe. Rinse foods like carrots and cabbage after theyve been
cookbooks. His trimmed or peeled.
newest book,
How to Cook If a recipe calls for minced garlic, minced ginger, and/or
Everything 4 minced chiles at the same time, consolidate the job
Fast, goes on
sale October 7. with my go-to technique: Peel the garlic and ginger, trim the
chiles, and put them all in a pile. Then chop and mince them
together using a rocking motion.

38 | 092014 | rd.com
 Big, thick pieces of food take
5 longer to cook through than
those cut small or sliced thin. I cut
chicken cutlets in half so they cook
faster; chop veggies accordingly.

Making a pureed vegetable

6 soup? Grate your veggies
instead of chopping them. If you
cut them into chunks, theyll take
20 minutes or more to soften. But
grated, theyre ready in a flash.

When you saut or sim-

7 mer something moist
such as vegetables, beans, or
sauceslay a different food
on top (especially a protein like
fish, chicken, or eggs), cover
with a lid, and let the steam
naturally cook that upper layer.
For instance, for a fast eggs
Florentine, steam the eggs on
FOOD STY LIST: JA MIE KIMM ; P ROP STYLI ST: P HILI P SHUBIN

top of the spinach rather than

poaching them separately.

Use less liquid when braising:

8 Submerge your braising
ingredients in about one inch of
liquid, cover the pot, and cook, turn-
ing occasionally, adding a little liquid
as necessary.

One sandwich is faster than

9 four: Cut a baguette in half
the long way, assemble one giant
sandwich, then cut that into
as many pieces as you like. (Ive
seen people do the opposite!)

PHOTOGRAPHS BY TRAVIS RATH BONE rd.com | 092014 | 39

GENIUS ADVICE: FOOD

Cut around the core: This aislea true gift to hurried cooks.
10 method is a fast way to prep I always keep frozen peas and corn
apples, pears, tomatoes, cabbage, on hand.
peaches, and bell peppers. Slice
downward around the core, remov- Unless youre bakingor
ing flesh in three or four pieces; then 15 roasting something that
cut flesh into slices or wedges. requires an initial blast of very high
heatyou dont have to wait for
Instead of roasting winter the oven to reach its set temperature
11 veggies, eat them raw. Squash, before putting in the food. Veggies
beets, parsnips, and celery root make and slow-roasted or braised meat
great salads and slaws. Since root work well this way.
vegetables are sturdy, grate them.
If theyre still too crispy for comfort, If youve forgotten to let butter
marinate them for a half hour or 16 soften, melt it in the micro-
longer in a vinaigrette. wave; then use a brush to apply it
to bread for a more even coating.
Prep Brussels sprouts in the
12 food processor. The machine
does the job in a few pulses, and
17 When making meatballs, the
most time-consuming part is
the small pieces will broil in about rolling them. The solution? Dont.
half the time. Plus, you get more Use two spoons to drop little mounds
of the delicious crispy bits that into the hot skillet. Theyll brown
I cant get enough of (just ask my beautifullyand taste just as good.
daughters).
Make unstuffed cabbage.
Some soups need to simmer 18 Blanching cabbage leaves to
13 for hours, but cold soups, make them pliable is onerous. Use
such as gazpacho, involve simply cooked cabbage as a base instead
putting ingredients in a blender and of a wrapperitll provide the same
turning it on. So underrated. taste with much less work.

14 Use frozen vegetables in

soupsor any dish. Minimally
19 Trade typical lasagna noodles
for egg roll wrappers, which
processed and chilled immediately dont have to be boiled and come in
after harvest, frozen vegetables are small, easy-to-handle squares. They
an anomaly in the frozen-food taste like fresh egg pasta.
HOW TO COOK EVERYTHING FAST, BY MARK BITTMAN, COPYRIGHT 2014 BY MARK BITTMAN, IS PUBLISHED BY
HOUGHTON MIFFLIN HARCOURT PUBLISHING COMPANY, HMHCO.COM.

40 | 092014 | rd.com
 BITTMANS FASTEST CHICKEN PARM

Speed: 30 minutes. Serves: 4. no longer pink in center, rotating

Brilliant! Bittmans new book folds pan if necessary for even cooking,
prep instructions (in green) into the 5 to 10 minutes.
cooking process so you wont waste Grate mozzarella and Parmesan.
a minute. In his version of chicken Combine bread crumbs,
parm, instead of dredging and mozzarella, and Parmesan in
panfrying, youll stack ingredients small bowl.
on a baking sheet and broil. Strip 16 to 20 basil leaves from
stems.
INGREDIENTS
5 tbs. olive oil 3. When chicken is cooked through,
3 medium ripe tomatoes remove baking sheet from broiler.
4 boneless, skinless chicken Lay basil leaves on top of tomatoes,
breasts (about 2 lbs.) sprinkle with bread crumband-
Salt and pepper cheese mixture, and drizzle with
8 oz. fresh mozzarella cheese remaining olive oil.
2 oz. Parmesan cheese
4. Return sheet to broiler; cook
( 1/2 cup grated)
until bread crumbs and cheese are
1 cup bread crumbs
browned and bubbly, 2 to 4 minutes.
1 bunch fresh basil
Serve immediately.
PREP | COOK
EVEN FASTER Use about 2 cups
1. Turn broiler to high; put rack
tomato sauce instead of sliced
6 inches from heat. Pour 2 tbs.
tomatoes.
olive oil onto rimmed baking sheet
and spread it around; put baking
sheet in broiler.
Core and slice tomatoes.
Cut chicken breasts in half
horizontally to make 2 thin cutlets
from each breast. Press down on
each with heel of hand to flatten.

2. Carefully remove baking sheet

from broiler. Put chicken cutlets
on sheet, and sprinkle with salt and
pepper. Top with tomatoes; broil
on one side only until chicken is
GENIUS ADVICE FAMILY

17 Secrets of Happy Families

BY BR UC E F E I L E R F R OM T H E BO O K T H E S E C R E T S O F H A PPY FA MIL IES

SIT BESIDE YOUR PARTNER INVITE GRANDMA OVER

WHEN MAKING DECISIONS Grandparents are the ace in the
Scientists have found that people hole of humanity, says Sarah Blaffer
sitting next to each other were Hrdy, an evolutionary anthropologist.
more likely to collaborate than those A meta-analysis of 66 studies found
sitting across or diagonally from that mothers who have child-care
each other. help from grandmothers have less
stress, and their children are more
TURN DOWN THE LIGHTS well-adjusted than those who dont.
Dim lighting can make people feel
relaxed and safe, so they may be PLAY THE BAD & GOOD GAME
more revealing in conversations. Over dinner, each member of the
family should report on a positive
CONNECT GENERATIONS and a negative from the day. A
Research shows that kids who know growing body of research has found
more about the successes and that by watching others (including
failures of their kin are more resilient Mom and Dad) navigate ups and
and better able to moderate the downs in real time, children develop
effects of stress. empathy and solidarity with those
around them.
CUSHION YOUR BLOWS
A study from MIT, Harvard, and Yale ADOPT A SOLDIERS MENTALITY
shows that people are more flexible In moments when the needs of the
and accommodating when they sit family conflict with your own needs,
on cushioned surfaces. My wife and you have a choice to make, says
I now have difficult conversations Jason McCarthy, a former Green
on the sofa, and we have family Beret. You can either turn toward
meetings at the breakfast table, or against one another. Use conflict
which has padded seats. as a chance to show family loyalty.

42 | 092014 | rd.com
P ROP STYLIST: SARAH GUIDO FOR HALLEY RES OURCES . ILLUSTRATI ON BY L IZZIE OL SE N

CREATE A CHORE FLOWCHART USE SPORTS FOR GOOD

Make three columns and label them, Parents have the most impor-
respectively, Stuff to Do, Things tant job when it comes to a childs
in Progress, and Things Done. As experience with sports, says Jim
family members begin working on Thompson, founder of the Positive
an item, they move it from the first Coaching Alliance. After the game,
to the second column, and so on. avoid deconstructing your childs
I guarantee youll get twice as much mistakes. Say, You didnt get a hit,
done, says Jeff Sutherland, coauthor but I think that youre the kind of
of the Agile Manifesto. person who doesnt give up easily,
says Thompson.
REJECT RIGIDITY
Research shows you have to be GATHER REGULARLY
flexible, whether with the strategy Family meetings are a regularly
you use to get everyone out the door scheduled time to draw attention to
in the morning or with the techniques specific behaviors, says David Starr,
you use to discipline, entertain, or author of the report Agile Practices
inspire your family. for Families. If you dont have a safe

PHOTOGRAPH BY RALPH SMITH rd.com | 092014 | 43

G E N I U S A D V I C E : F A M I LY

environment to discuss problems, If you want to have more communal

any plan to improve your family will family gatherings, sit in an O, not an
go nowhere. L or a V.

MIRROR EACH OTHER STOP SAYING YOU

DURING FIGHTS Use we instead: We have to get
Studies have shown that people better at communicating will diffuse
in power positionsthose sitting a fight quicker than You never
higher than their partners, putting tell me whats wrong, says James
their feet up, or lacing their fingers Pennebaker, a psychologist at the
behind their neckshave increased University of Texas and the author
feelings of superiority, while people of The Secret Lives of Pronouns.
in lower-power poses, such as sitting
lower, are defensive and resentful. AVOID DIFFICULT DISCUSSIONS
FROM 6 P.M. TO 8 P.M.
DONT ROLL YOUR EYES Two Chicago psychologists deter-
Indiana researchers spent years mined that this two-hour window
monitoring the twitching of noses, is the most stressful time of day, as
raising of eyebrows, and pursing parents are coming off tension-filled
of lips during marital spats. They workdays, kids are tired, and family
checked back with the couples four members are converging at home.
years later and determined that
above all other gestures, eye rolling LIMIT ARGUMENTS TO
predicted marital tension. THREE MINUTES
John Gottman of the University
CIRCLE THE FURNITURE of Washington found that the most
In the 1950s, a British psychiatrist important points in any argument
noticed that patients interacted can be found in the first three
more socially when they sat facing minutes. After that, he says, people
one another instead of side by side. often repeat themselves at higher
The same rule can apply to families. decibels.
THE SECRETS OF HAPPY FAMILIES, COPYRIGHT 2014 BY BRUCE FEILER, IS PUBLISHED BY WILLIAM MORROW, AN IMPRINT OF
HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS, INC., HARPERCOLLINS.COM.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A PARADE OF RABBITS

HOPPING BACKWARD?

A receding hare line.

44 | 092014 | rd.com
 G L U CO
O UR SE
Y LE
VE R
LS
MATTE

When it comes to eating you should be able to enjoy a little bit of everything.
Phase 2 White Kidney Bean Extract has been clinically tested to help support
healthy glucose levels in healthy individuals who eat dietary starches. This
stimulant free formula may also reduce the enzymatic digestion of starches to
aid your body in stocking fewer carb calories.
Learn more at natrol.com
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose,
treat, cure or prevent any disease. *These products are to be used in conjunction with a healthy calorie reduction and exercise
program. Optimum results in clinical studies occurred between 8-12 weeks. Individual Results May Vary. 2014 Natrol, Inc.
For Detailed clinical studies visit: www.phase2info.com. The trademarks Phase 2 Carb Controller and Foodbound are being used under license.
GENIUS ADVICE HOME

13 Clever Ways
To Clean
BY A L I SO N C A P O R I M O

P ROP STYLI ST: SARAH GUID O FOR HAL L E Y RE SOU RCE S

THE INSIDE OF YOUR PURSE
Push a lint roller along the bottom of an
empty purse to pick up dirt, loose change,
and more.

STICKY CANDLES
Place a grimy candle inside a stocking and
roll it around. The nonabrasive nylon will
clean the wax surface without sticking to it.

GRUNGY WINDOW BLINDS

Dip a sock into a mixture of equal parts
vinegar and water. Put it on your hand inside
out and use it to clean both sides of window
blinds at the same time.

DINGY TV SCREENS
Swipe a coffee filter across dusty and
staticky computer monitors and plasma
TV screens to remove buildup.

A STINKY KITCHEN
Toss orange and lemon peels into the
garbage disposal and grind them up
for a few minutes to give your kitchen
an amazing fresh citrus smell with
no work at all.

46 | 092014 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPH BY RALPH SMITH

KITCHEN SINK spokes of the dishwasher rack to
CLUTTER keep the glass from moving around
Clamp a binder and breaking during the wash cycle.
clip onto the short
end of your sponge. HARD-TO-FILL
Stand the clip upright BUCKETS
on its side to keep the If you have
sponge clean, dry, and mold-free. a bucket or a
large watering
PET HAIR HORRORS can that wont
Drag a window squeegee (you can fit under the
find one at any home-goods store) faucet, place
across a carpet to remove pet hair. a dustpan
The rubberized blade will quickly lift with a hollow
fur from rug fibers. handle beneath
the stream of water to redirect it
DUSTY into the larger vessel on the floor in
CLOTHES front of the sink.
Cut a hole
in the center A SOILED COFFEE GRINDER
of a cloth If you use this tool to crush spices
napkin and as well as coffee beans, process a
place it over a handful of Cheerios in the appliance
hanger to keep dust from settling for 30 seconds. This will remove any
on nice dresses and leather jackets. smells from the machine before you
brew your next cup.
THAT RING AROUND YOUR TOILET
Let an Alka-Seltzer tablet sit in MESSY DRAWERS
the bowl for 20 minutes, and then Try vertical
flush. The citric acid will eliminate stacking:
rings and stains. Place folded
shirts vertically
BROKEN GLASSES IN into drawers to
THE DISHWASHER make it easy
Stretch a to see and reach
rubber band what you need.
around a Sources: buzzfeed.com, Real Simple,
wineglass viralnova.com, keephomesimple.blogspot.com,
aol.com, huffingtonpost.com, wellnessmama.com,
and over the lifehacker.com, coffeemakeroutlet.blogspot.com

ILLUSTRATIONS BY JOEL HOLLA ND rd.com | 092014 | 47

GENIUS ADVICE TECHNOLOGY

3 Ways to Avoid Identity Theft

BY DA MO N B E RE S

EVERY YEAR, millions of Antivirus (free.avg.com) or Avast!

Americans see their personal (avast.com)each is free. Run a full
information leak into the wrong system scan. This can take over an
hands. Maybe theres spyware on hour, so start it before settling into
their computer, or a service they use other plans. When you return to your
suffered a security breachas eBay computer, clear out anything that
did this year, leaving customers at shouldnt be there with a few simple
risk of exposure. Or perhaps their steps (the program will guide you).
password is easy to guess: Security These days, its also worth it to
company SplashData reports that make sure your phone is safe from
the most popular passwords in
2013 were 123456 and password.
Fear not: Its a lot easier than
you might think to set up proper
defenses. In fact, you can
easily do it all in a weekend.
Heres how.

Clean Your Computer

And Smartphone
Before you put new security
measures into place, make sure
your devices are as spotless as
possible. This means install-
ing a good antivirus program
and taking the time to clear
out any spy- or malware that
may have already infected
your system. Go with AVG Free

48 | 092014 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPH BY ADAM VOORHES

 viruses. iPhones are less likely to be Something nondescript that youll
targeted by malware, but Android recognize (even something random
users should download the Lookout like Bran_Muffin) will work well.
app (lookout.com) to scan their Turn network-name broadcasting
devices and ensure everything is off to keep anyone from selecting
as it should be. your network from a drop-down
menu.
Secure Your Wi-Fi Each of these steps takes some
Now that your computer is clean, you time, so sprinkle them throughout
should plug any holes in your home a day if you want: Theres no need
network. Its fairly easy for potential to tackle everything at once. When
criminals to gain access to your infor- youre done, youll know that your
mation if theyre able to share your wireless network is safe.
connectionthats why you want to
be careful when using public Wi-Fi. Dig Deep with Your
For your home, the Federal Com- Passwords
munications Commission recom- Everything you just accomplished
mends a few steps. Even if you put could be for nothing if a thief has
security measures into place a couple your existing passwords, so you need
of years ago, its a good idea to refresh to change them for every service
your settings. You may have to refer you use. Try it when you find your-
to the instructions for your wireless self on those sites anyway.
router or call tech support for help. What youve heard is true: Pass-
Different routers will have different words should use a variety of special
setup pages, so the actual step-by- characters, numerals, letters, and
step will vary, but the end result will cases when possible. They should be
be the same. Heres what to do: close to random, and there should
Enable basic password protection. be a different one for each website you
That means setting up WPA2 encryp- use. Doing this, and keeping track of
tion via your router, if possible, it all, is a painwhich is why people
which will allow you to set a pass- dont do it and wind up with stolen
P ROP STYLIST: ROBI N FIN LAY

word of your choosing; make it good! identities. Try Dashlane (dashlane

You also need to change the pass- .com), a password manager with
word that allows you to access your powerful encryption that can securely
routers settings to begin with. This keep track of the weirdest codes you
will keep unsavory types out. can come up with. Best of all, it logs
Then change the default name you into sites automatically, so
of your wireless network. Dont use theres no need to worry about all
any personal information here. those obscure keystrokes. Whew!

rd.com | 092014 | 49
GENIUS ADVICE MONEY

33 Ways
To Get a Deal
On Anything
Groceries
Try Boxed, a handy app for
iPhone and Android. You can get
discounted cereal, applesauce,
peanut butter, body washyou
name itshipped in bulk to
your home for free. And unlike
some warehouse services,
theres no membership fee.
No smartphone? Shop from
your laptop. The Wall Street Jour-
nal recently reported that grocer-
ies from delivery services like
Walmart and AmazonFresh are
sometimes 10 percent less than
the same items from a grocer.

Dental Care
P ROP STYLIST: ROBI N FIN LAY

Groupon offers significant

discounts on work such as teeth
whitening, root canals, and crowns.
Investigate a dental price club or
discount plan. These can help if you
anticipate work that goes beyond
the scope of the twice-yearly
checkups many insurers cover.

50 | 092014 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPHS BY ADAM VOORHES

You pay a yearly feeup to a couple of gym memberships and individual
of hundred dollarsthen the plans classes, from boot camp to yoga.
discounted rate per visit. Assess your
options at dentalplans.com. Workouts
No gym? No problem. Download
Gas the free Nike Training Club app (iOS,
GasBuddy (iOS, Android: gas Android) to access training videos,
buddy.com) and SmartFuel (iOS) from aerobics to weight lifting.
let you compare prices of nearby
gas stations. Movie Tickets
Visit your theater chains corpo-
Cars rate website to see if tickets are
Wait until the end of the year. available in bulk. Regal Cinemas,
New models typically roll out in for example, allows customers to
the summer or early fall, making an buy Premiere Tickets for $8 a pop,
older-inventory car easier to get for good for movie releases nationwide,
less. Plus, dealers need to meet their even brand-new ones. In certain
quotas before a new quarter, so you areas, that can amount to almost a
could save thousands. 50 percent discount. The one down-
Be smart about your credit. side: Because youre buying in bulk,
Credit.coms Adam Levin advises the total price can be high, so ask
against financing a car at the dealer- friends to split the cost with you.
ship right away to avoid tricky
salespeople who have relationships Apps
with banks. Instead, shop around Ninety-nine pennies saved is
and get approved for an auto loan 99 pennies earned. Free apps whose
before you visit the dealeryou sole purpose is to track other apps
could save thousands depending you want and alert you when theyre
on fees and interest rates. on sale are available for iOS (try
Check prices online. Sites like AppShopper Social) and Android
cars.com allow you to search in your (download AppSales).
zip code with a variety of criteria
to get a great dealor at least have Concert Tickets
a bargaining chip when it comes No need to pay an arm and a
to squaring off with a dealer. leg to scalpers: Goldstar.com helps
members find half-price tickets to
Fitness Clubs events, members-only complimen-
For no fee, yipit.com lets you search tary tickets, and personalized event
for and find bargains on a variety recommendations. Sign-up is free.

rd.com | 092014 | 51
GENIUS ADVICE: MONEY

For more events, try SeatGeek sort by style. You can

(iOS, Android: seatgeek.com). quickly swipe or click
It consolidates information through items, mimick-
from online ticket sellers ing the action of ripping
for professional sports like through sale racks at
racing and fights, concerts, a department store.
theater performances
basically anything you Fancy Dresses
can think of. It also lets Click over to rentthe
you search by venue or runway.com, where
city and find a seat with you can lease designer
the best sight lines. gowns for reasonable
prices. Youre also
Newspaper not charged more,
Subscriptions beyond shipping, if
Look no further than you want to try on the
discountednewspapers.com, which same dress in a different size.
offers subscriptions to both local and
national papers. Plane Tickets
Airfares are often at their cheapest
Books 18 to 28 days before a trip, and
Subscribe to bookbub.com to Tuesdays and Wednesdays are
browse significantly discounted and usually the best days to buy tickets
free digital books from a variety of and travel.
publishers that work with all major You can also dig for deals online.
e-readers. Try airfarewatchdog.com, which
tells you when low rates become
Gift Cards available. And you can compare
Visit Gift Card Granny (giftcard prices at kayak.com.
granny.com), which collects deals
on gift cards, to nab, say, a $100 Phone Bills When Abroad
Applebees card for $86. Use WhatsApp (iOS, Blackberry,
Android, Windows, Nokia: whatsapp
New Clothes .com) to text with friends when
You can get secondhand steals you (or they) are out of the country.
on eBay and Etsy, but for deals on new It sends your messages over your
items, turn to windowshopper.me. phones Internet connection, so you
This site allows you to search for can avoid running up your bill when
specific items, set a price range, and sending texts internationally.

52 | 092014 | rd.com
 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

Electronics Finally, using your smartphone,

Try a refurbished unit. Many ring up your own items and see if
manufacturersDell, HP, Sony, etc. youre getting a deal. Download the
sell discounted used goods online. RedLaser app and use it to scan bar
For more deals, go to rakuten.com, codes: Itll pop up relevant deals.
which sells discounted electronics,
with great buys on everything from Rewards Cards
camera equipment to computers. On its own, the Key Ring app
(iOS, Android: keyringapp.com)
Apple Products cant save you money, but the conve-
Visit applesliced.com. It tracks the nience it offers should: It keeps all
Web for the cheapest prices on iPods, your rewards cards for various out-
iPads, iPhones, Macs, and everything lets stored so you wont have to carry
in between. Enter your zip code to all that plastic in your wallet or on
find out which retailers waive sales your key chain. No more forgetting
tax in your state. cards means no more missing deals.

Printer Ink Student Discounts

Trade in your depleted ink car- Anyone in school can get deals
tridges at stores like Office Max for that others would miss, such as
a discount on your next round, or free Amazon Prime for six months
try off-loading them on a site such as (followed by 50 percent off a
ecyclegroup.com or tonerbuyer.com. membership), unlimited Washington
Post digital access, and discounts
Online Shopping from many popular clothes shops.
Visit getinvisiblehand.com to
install the Invisible Hand extension Starbucks Coffee
on your computer. Whenever youre For starters, bring in your own
shopping online, itll automatically cup for a discount. Resourceful types
search alternatives and notify you at can save on iced lattes by ordering a
the top of your browser window if double shot of espresso over ice and
theres a better deal elsewhere. filling the cup with milk from the bar.
Or go to camelcamelcamel.com: If you buy ground Starbucks coffee
You can search for any item and at grocery stores, check for a code
track its price historyitll show you on the bag and enter it to your
a graph and the highest- and lowest- Starbucks account online to earn
price positions its had over the past free refills or drinks.
several days. Close to the lowest
Sources: ABC News, Wall Street Journal, about.com,
point? Snatch it up now! marketwatch.com, lifehacker.com, and USA Today

rd.com | 092014 | 53
 ALL IN

A Days Work

THE TOPIC of my students essay was but the toilet paper is in a

the importance of trust, camaraderie, reinforced steel box with a lock,
and toughness among football bolted to the stall?
players. After all, he wrote, you MARK SEVERIN, from humorlabs.com
dont want a bunch of pre-Madonnas
out there on the field. WHEN MY CUSTOMER ordered
MICHELE METCALF, L o u i s v i l l e , Ke n t u c k y iced tea, I asked, Sweetened or
unsweetened?
IF A COMPANYS most valuable Her answer: Whats the difference?
resource is its people, how come RUTH ANNE PLUCKHORN,
the employees arent locked up, Mo o r e s t o w n , Ne w Je r s e y

54 | 092014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY JOHN CALDWELL

AN IRATE PATIENT called our
pathology group, demanding that
I explain every lab test on her state-
ment. Of course, I said. I brought up
THAT REMINDS ME
her bill: Number one, urinalysis OF A JOKE
She interrupted me: Im a what?!
From gcfl.net
We read in the news:
Employees at a Spanish zoo
SCENE: Our break room. Coworker #1 conducted an emergency drill
pulls out a bottle of vitamins. that simulated a gorilla escape.
Coworker #2: Whats that? To make it more realistic, a
Coworker #1: Vitamin D. zookeeper dressed up as an ape
Coworker #2: Why do you take that? and took off. Unfortunately, not
everyone on staff was notified
Coworker #1: Because we live in
about the drill. Upon seeing a
Ohio, and we never see the sun. fleeing gorilla, one of the zoo
Coworker #2: Wait a minute they veterinarians grabbed a tranquil-
make a vitamin that gives you a tan? izer gun and shot the employee
SALLY CHURLEY, C o r t l a n d , O h i o in the leg. Source: thedodo.com

THE NOTE LEFT ON the office refrig- That made us think of this:
erator was addressed to The culprit When a zoos gorilla dies, the
zookeeper hires an actor to don
who ate what you thought were two
a costume and act like an ape
peanut butter ice cream bars. until the zoo can get another
Well skip over the details and one. In the cage, the actor makes
go straight to the signature: faces, swings around, and draws
Love, Constipated-Dog Owner. a huge crowd. He then crawls
Source: someecards.com across a partition and atop the
lions cage, infuriating the animal.
WEVE BEEN OVER THIS BEFORE: But the actor stays in character
until he loses his grip and falls
Stupid doesnt play well on job inter-
into the lions cage. Terrified, the
views. Hiring managers wish these actor shouts, Help! Help me!
job seekers had gotten the memo. Too late. The lion pounces, opens
Applicant acted out a Star Trek role. its massive jaws, and whispers,
Applicant asked for a hug. Shut up! Do you want to get
Applicant popped out his teeth us both fired?!
when discussing dental benefits.
Applicant crashed her car into
Buy your own gorilla costume with the
the building. $100 well pay if we run your gag! See
From CareerBuilders 2014 Interview Blunders Survey page 7 or go to rd.com/submit for details.

NOTE: Ads were removed from this edition. Please continue to page 62.
GENIUS ADVICE HEALTH

Why Does Airplane

Food Taste So Bad?
Answers to 11 compelling questions about your body
COM PIL ED BY L AU R E N G ELM AN

FOOD STY LIST: JA MIE KIMM ; P ROP STYLI ST: P HILI P SHUBIN

62 | 092014 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPHS BY TRAVIS RATHBONE

How come the food I eat on I always seem to wake up just a
airplanes is so bland? few minutes before my alarm clock
At 35,000 feet, the first thing that goes goes off. Why is this?
is your sense of taste, explains Grant In anticipation of the day, your
Mickels, executive chef for culinary body starts to churn out certain
development of Lufthansas LSG Sky stress-related hormones during the
Chefs. The quality of the food isnt the later stages of sleep, says Jan Born, a
issue. In a mock aircraft cabin, German professor of behavioral neuroscience
researchers tried out ingredients at at the University of Tbingen in Ger-
both sea level and in a pressurized many. His research team found that
condition at 8,000 feet. The tests sleepers had more of the hormone
revealed that the cabin atmosphere adrenocorticotropin in their blood
makes your taste buds go numb, when they expected to be wakened
almost as if you had a cold, says at a certain time. Genes also play a
Mickels. Our perception of saltiness role. One University of Kansas study
and sweetness drops by around pinpointed the gene KDM5A as the
30 percent at high altitude. Decreased so-called alarm clock gene, which
humidity in the cabin also dries out controls when our own personal
your nose and dulls the olfactory rise and shine switch is flipped.
sensors essential for tasting flavors. SARAH KLEIN, from huffingtonpost.com
BARBARA PETERSON, from Cond Nast Traveler
How come bruises go through a
Why do I hate the sound of my range of colors before they fade?
own voice on a recording? A bruise occurs when small capillary
Every sound we hearbirds chirping, blood vessels break under the skin.
bees buzzingis a wave of pressure Hemoglobin in this leaked blood
moving through the air, which our gives the bruise its classic purplish
outer ears catch and funnel through hue. The body then ropes in white
the ear canal to be interpreted by blood cells to repair the damage,
the brain. When you speak, your ear causing hemoglobin to break down
is stimulated by internal vibrations into biliverdin, which is green, and
from your vocal cords and by the then bilirubin, which is yellow. The
sound coming out of your mouth debris at the bruise site ultimately
and traveling through the air and into clears, and the color fades.
the ears. This combination gives your From New Scientist

voice (as you hear it) a fuller, deeper

quality thats lacking when you hear Does sweating guarantee that
it on a recording. Ive gotten a good workout?
MATT SONIAK, from Mental Floss A workouts benefits derive from

rd.com | 092014 | 63
W H Y D O E S A I R P L A N E F O O D TA S T E S O B A D ?

exercise itself, not how much you sensitive site of cranial incision on
sweat. The more intense the effort, the skin get local anesthetic during
the greater the health benefits and, surgery, says Dimitris Placantonakis,
generally, the more you sweat (your MD, a neurosurgeon at New York
bodys natural response to your core University. Headaches can occur
temperature rising). But perspiring, when the dura or other non-brain
in and of itself, does not amplify structures, like muscles and sinuses,
those effects (not even calorie are irritated, inflamed, or under
burning). You could sweat a lot pressure. Whether the disturbance
due to a hot or humid environment, results from a tumor, trauma, or the
and you wouldnt get any extra freeze of triple-churned ice cream,
fitness benefit. pain-sensing receptors in the head
GRETCHEN REYNOLDS, from the New York Times send signals to the brain, which
processes them as ow!
Why does food taste bad after JAMES CARLTON, from Discover
I brush my teeth?
Thank sodium laureth sulfate for Why are the blood vessels in our
ruining your breakfast. This surfac- eyes more visible when were tired?
tantadded to toothpastes to create Sleepiness slows down blinking,
foam and make the paste easier to which normally keeps the outer
spreadsuppresses receptors on layer of the eye lubricated. Dryness
our taste buds that perceive sweet- triggers mild inflammation and
ness. It also breaks up the tongues dilation of blood vessels that are
phospholipids, enhancing bitter tastes. usually invisible. Blinking more
To end this torture, consider a tooth- frequently may help ease discomfort.
paste without this ingredientor From New Scientist

brush after meals instead of, say,

right before breakfast. Do hair and nails keep growing
MATT SONIAK, from Mental Floss after you die?
Hair and nails stop growing pretty
Ive read that surgeons can operate much as soon as a person kicks the
on a persons brain without an bucket. But when someone dies, his
anesthetic, since the brain has no pain skin dries out and pulls away from
receptors. So what is a headache? nails and hair, making them appear
The brain itself has no pain-sensing to grow. The growth of new cells
neurons. But the dura materthe requires oxygen and sugar, things
thick membrane surrounding the that are no longer available to
brain beneath the skullis filled someone who has died.
with pain receptors. Both it and the Courtesy of Smithsonian Enterprises, smithsonian.com

64 | 092014 | rd.com
 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

Why do annoying songs get stuck Its often said that head-injury
in my head? patients should be kept awake, on
Because youre unfamiliar with the the theory that dozing off could send
lyrics. People can recall the first verse them into a coma. Many doctors
of a song, but after the chorus, they say thats not the case. The one thing
might stumble over the words. The they do watch for in an unresponsive
song becomes incomplete, which patient is hindered breathing. ER
transforms into an intrusive thought, doctors and technicians are trained
according to Ira Hyman Jr. of Western to keep a victims airway clear. They
Washington University. Songs intrude may do this by inserting a tube
during tasks that are either difficult, into the tracheanot by begging
causing the mind to wander, or easy, her to stay alert.
allowing repetitive thoughts to enter. DANIEL ENGBER, from slate.com
To flush out these stuck songs, called
earworms, find an engaging task
that requires the auditory and verbal
components of your working memory,
like reading a good book or watching
a favorite show.
ANAHAD OCONNOR, from the New York Times

In TV shows or movies,
characters often urge
a wounded figure to
stay with them, not
to lose consciousness.
Is there any medical
basis for this?
No. If someones
about to fall into
a coma, theres
nothing you can say
to stop it. Whatever
problem is causing a
loss of consciousness
stroke, drug overdose, or
something elsewill generally
continue to unfold irrespective
of a patients state of awareness.

rd.com | 092014 | 65
GENIUS ADVICE HEALTH

Doctors Orders

6 Good Habits Made

Even Healthier
BY T H E PH YS I C I A N S O F THE D OC TOR S

WHEN YOU: SIP TEA

Make Sure to: Steep
Tea Bags for Five Minutes
Research links this beverage to lower
risks of heart attack, certain cancers,
type 2 diabetes, and Parkinsons
disease. More antioxidants were
unleashed in tea steeped for five
minutes than for just one or two,
according to a British study.
Cohost
Travis
WHEN YOU: BLOW YOUR NOSE Stork, MD
Make Sure to: Do One
Nostril at a Time
A University of Virginia study
found that honking your nose
hard produced a lot of pressure
and pushed mucus into the sinuses, Cohost
which could increase infections. Gen- Jennifer
tly blow one nostril at a time instead. Ashton, MD

Readers Digest and The Doctors bring America

the health information that helps you thrive. Watch
the show daily (check local listings).

66 | 092014 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPH BY ROBYN TWOMEY

WHEN YOU: GET A FLU VACCINE WHEN YOU: STAND UP
Make Sure to: Exercise Make Sure to: Do It in
The Same Day A Work Meeting
Flu vaccines are the best way to Getting off your duff is undoubtedly
prevent the virus, but theyre only good for your health: Research links
50 to 70 percent effective. Exercising too much sittingeven if you hit the
before or after getting the vaccine gym regularlywith obesity, type 2
may prime your immune system diabetes, and cancer. Now new Wash-
to produce more infection-fighting ington University research suggests
antibodies. In one study, Iowa State that standing during work meetings
University students who jogged can lead to more creativity. Workers
or biked at a moderate pace for were given 30 minutes to create a
90 minutes after receiving the shot university recruitment video. The
had nearly double the amount of anti- group that worked in a room without
bodies of those who were sedentary. chairs suggested more inventive ideas
and produced better videos than the
WHEN YOU: EAT MORE PROTEIN team that was more sedentary.
Make Sure to: Add It to
Breakfast WHEN YOU: FLOSS YOUR TEETH
Its common nutrition advice for Make Sure to: Do It After,
anyone on a diet: Eat fewer refined Not Before, You Brush
carbs, more protein. But timing Once youve removed large pieces
matters. Americans typically eat three of food with your toothbrush, floss
times more protein at dinner than at to better clear tiny particles and
breakfast. However, studies show that bacteria that remain between your
people who eat protein-rich morning teeth, some dentists say. Dont jerk
meals have fewer blood sugar spikes the floss up and down. For a more
throughout the morning (which can thorough cleaning, make a C shape
prevent cravings) and are less likely with the floss around each tooth
to snack on junk food at night. and gently move it up and down.

RIDDLE ME THIS

QUESTION: With pointed fangs I sit and wait; with piercing force
I seize my bait, grabbing victims, chomping tight, physically
joining with a single bite. What am I?
ANSWER: A stapler.

rd.com | 092014 | 67
GENIUS ADVICE HEALTH

What If Gluten Isnt

Making You Sick?
Three tips to help you decide BY KATE S C ARLATA, R D

I WORK WITH a lot of people But new research out of Monash

who have stomach issues. One of University in Australia suggests that
the first things they ask is Should gluten intolerance among people
I cut out gluten? My usual answer: without celiac is far less common
probably not. Heres why. than previously thoughtwhich Ive
For patients with celiac disease, long observed in my patients. It may
ditching glutena protein in wheat, be that other nutrients in grains,
barley, and ryeis a must. In particularly carbohydrates called
these people, gluten causes FODMAPs, trigger symptoms.
inflammation in the small
intestines that can lead to Does Gluten
Intolerance

FOOD STYLI ST: JAM IE KIM M; PROP STY LIST: P HI LIP S HUBIN
malnutrition. But Im
concerned about Really Exist?
the growing number In the study, irrita-
of individuals whove ble bowel syndrome
adopted a gluten-free (IBS) patients who
diet with no celiac were on a gluten-free
diagnosis. Chances are diet switched to a
you know folks like low-FODMAP diet.
them: They had stom- (This entails avoiding
ach issues, like bloating certain fruits, vegeta-
or pain, or fatigue and bles, grains, and
headaches. Then they legumes.) Participants
stopped eating gluten all reported feeling
and felt better. If they better on the low-
resumed eating it, symp- FODMAP diet. They were
toms came roaring back. then told that gluten

68 | 092014 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPH BY TRAVIS RATHBONE

would be added back into their diets So before you give up gluten,
(they were given prepared foods), but consider whether FODMAPs might
they didnt know when or how much. be your real problem. Heres how
Certain people got a high-gluten diet; both affect common health issues.
others, low-gluten; and still others got To treat a troubled tummy:
a placebo without any gluten. Most A low-FODMAP diet may be better,
patients said they felt worse no matter especially if you eat gluten-free
which diet they were on. Heres the and still have stomach upset. Thats
real shocker: The placebo diet was what I created with the book 21-Day
identical to the soothing low-FODMAP Tummy, which offers a nutrition
plan, but subjects reported an uptick plan for weight loss and digestive
in symptoms. Actual gluten sensitivity distress. Your doctor can recom-
occurred in only 8 percent of respon- mend other resources.
dents. Translation: Gluten may make To clear up headaches or fatigue:
you sick because you expect it to. Gluten may affect such symptoms,
When you cut out foods with gluten but scientists cant yet explain the
such as refined carbsyou also mechanism. And FODMAPs may
remove FODMAPs, which may be the still be responsible. We know that a
true reason you feel better. low-FODMAP diet alters the balance
of gut bacteria, which could affect
Meet the Real Culprit other areas, like the brain. Ive had
Certain people have trouble digest- patients whove cut out FODMAPs
ing all or some FODMAPs: lactose report drastic improvements in their
(milk sugar), excess fructose (in apples, energy and well-being.
pears, high-fructose corn syrup, To stop overeating carbs: You
honey), fructans (in wheat, barley, rye, may be better off focusing on healthy
onion, garlic), galacto-oligosaccharides carbs than on gluten specifically.
(in legumes), and polyols (in mush- My favorite whole grains are quinoa
rooms, cauliflower). This group of and brown rice. Though they happen
carbohydrates can cause gas, bloat- to be gluten-free, I like them because
ing, fatigue, constipation, and/or diar- theyre also low-FODMAP and packed
rhea in those with sensitive stomachs. with nutrients.

WHAT DID KING ARTHUR TELL HIS MEN

BEFORE BEDTIME?

Knighty Knight.

rd.com | 092014 | 69
 PHOTO
OF LASTING
INTEREST

Photograph by
Ralph Morse
Chosen by
Michio Kaku,
t h e o r e t i c a l p hy s i c i s t
On April 18, 1955, just
hours after Albert
Einsteins death, a Life
magazine photographer
RALPH MORSE/TIM E & LIFE P ICTURES/GETTY I MAGES

captured the Nobel

laureates office in
Princeton, New Jersey.
This is the photo that
changed my life, says
Michio Kaku, author
of Einsteins Cosmos.
As a child of eight, I was
fascinated that on his
desk were the unfinished
notes of his theory of
everything. I decided
then and there that I
would try to finish it. This,
to me, was greater than
any adventure story.

NOTE: Ads were removed from this

edition. Please continue to page 76.
COVER STORY

A look at the
neuroscience of our most
human traitslove, anger,
compassionand how to
harness your mental muscle
for a more fulfilling life

The
Beautiful Life
of Your
BRAIN BY KIM BERLY H ISS

AT THIS VERY MOMENT, the twin Voyager spacecrafts,

launched in 1977, are carrying precious cargo on their journey
beyond the solar system: special records that contain, among
other things, a Mozart aria, greetings in 55 languages, and the
brain waves of a young woman newly in love.

76 | 092014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATIONS BY VALERO DOVAL

T H E B E AU T I F U L L I F E O F YO U R B R A I N

Renowned astronomer Carl Sagan where certain emotions originate. Last

led the Golden Record project, in- year, President Obama declared the
tended to introduce the people of next great American project to be the
Earth to any beings the spacecrafts Brain Research Through Advancing
might encounter. To include as part Innovative Neurotechnologies (BRAIN)
of the contents, Sagans teammate Initiative, which pledged scientists
Ann Druyan had her brain waves financial support to crack our brains
measured with an EEG test, which was mental code. Experts hope such
then compressed into one minute of efforts will advance the fight against
sound. Just two days before, Sagan autism, Alzheimers, and depression.
and Druyan had realized they were This research may also shed light on
in lovean overwhelming sensation questions about how we fall in love or
flooding Druyans mind during the make a tough decision, says Thomas
EEG. So today, 18 years after Druyan R. Insel, MD, director of the National
became Sagans widow, that precious Institute of Mental Health. To under-
song of a brain in love (it sounds like stand the brain is the ultimate journey
exploding firecrackers) is still soaring to find out who we are, he says.
into the vastness of space.
To distill the essence of the human A BRIEF HISTORY OF
race for an interstellar audience, YOUR MARVELOUS
MIND

T
Sagan and his team chose to reveal a
hint of our brains inner workings. The his sophisticated organ
question of what makes us human is has been evolving for mil-
well-worn territory for philosophers, lions of years through a
theologians, and artists. But to many process similar to add-
scientists, the answer lies in the mys- ing ice cream scoops to a cone, says
tery of our brain, the three-pound David J. Linden, PhD, a Johns Hop-
organ between our ears firing nearly kins University neuro scientist and P REVIOUS PAGE: GETTY IMAGES (BRAIN )

100 billion neurons. On a physical author of The Compass of Pleasure.

level, theres just a bunch of atoms Lower parts like the cerebellum
sloshing around, says Christof Koch, and hypothalamus, which handle
PhD, chief scientific officer of the Allen survival-oriented behavior like sex
Institute for Brain Science in Seattle. drive and eating, havent evolved as
But then there is a magical jump much, so what a lizard has and what
where this activity turns into feelings of we have are not fundamentally dif-
anger or the memory of your first kiss. ferent, he says, describing the first
Advances in technology, such as evolutionary scoop. Higher centers
fMRI scanning, allow us to see how involved in emotional processing,
regions of the brain function and like the hippocampus and amygdala,

78 | 092014 | rd.com
 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

are a lot more elaborate utterly arbitrary is what

in mice than in liz- enriches so much of
ards, he says of the our lives.
second scoop. Then Human evolution is
as you move farther up, a glacial process, but we
humans have a giant, can directly affect our
complex cortex, he personal evolution in
says of the top scoop. our lifetime. Theres a
This is home to our The interaction well-known saying:
thoughts and language. between these Neurons that fire to-
Heres another way gether, wire together,
to look at the haphaz-
older and newer says neuropsychologist
ard way our brains have brain regions Rick Hanson, PhD,
evolved. Say someone makes us who author of Hardwiring
asked you to build a rac- Happiness: The New
ing boat, but they gave
we are today. Brain Science of Con-
you a wooden rowboat tentment, Calm, and
and said you could only add things Confidence. Repeated patterns of
to make it into the racing boat, says thoughts and feelings actually change
Linden. Thats what brain evolu- our brain structureevidenced by
tion has been: You can only subtly practices such as mindfulness medita-
tweak what was there before and cant tion. In other words, we can help build
change the basic plan. The interaction our own racing boat. Heres how our
between these older and newer brain brain operates during seven common
regions makes us who we are today. situations. We can use these insights to
Both people and mice can feel flex our mental muscle.
pleasure from eating and making
babies, which both need to survive YOUR BRAIN
and pass down their genes. But only UNDER CRITICISM

T
a human can take pleasure in fasting hink back to your last per-
or abstaining from sex, which has no formance review. Your boss
evolutionary advantage. The miracle starts by saying 19 positive
of human thinking is that our ancient things, says Hanson. But
pleasure circuitry can be activated by if theres one piece of criticism at the
higher, more complicated parts of our end, thats what you remember. What
brain, Linden explains. sticks is the negative 20th.
In a way, this is the basis of all That overreactioncalled negativity
human culture, he continues. That we bias in psychology circleshelped
can take pleasure from things that are keep ancient humans alive.

rd.com | 092014 | 79
T H E B E AU T I F U L L I F E O F YO U R B R A I N

Ancestors had to get carrots, Future Self like that? says Timothy
meaning food and mates, and avoid A. Pychyl, PhD, an associate professor
sticks, such as predators, Hanson of psychology at Carleton University
explains. If you dont get a carrot in Ottawa, Canada, and the author of
today, youll have another chance Solving the Procrastination Puzzle.
tomorrow. But if you fail to avoid One study that used fMRI to see what
a predator? Whap! Game over. Our parts of the brain were active when
brains became wired to hyper- subjects thought about their pres-
focus on bad news. He continues, ent selves, their future selves, and a
The brain is like Velcro for bad stranger found that the brain thinks
experiences but Teflon for good ones. about the future self more similarly to
Simple practices can help you the way it thinks about a stranger.
counteract this bias. Nega- Procrastination is also the
tivity quickly becomes struggle between two dif-
neural structure, he ferent brain systems. The
says. Positive experi- limbic system, which
ences, however, can is responsible for our
take more time to en- basic emotions, is an
code. Intentionally old part of our brain (in
feeling positive expe- the second ice cream
riences longer helps scoop). Its also a very
them sink in, which can fast automated system that
help you become happier responds nonconsciously. It
and more resilient. Savor receiving wants immediate mood repairto
a compliment. Be mindful during feel good now. Then theres the newer
happy moments; note details so theyre prefrontal cortex (the third scoop),
easier to remember. home of executive function, which
involves planning and impulse con-
YOUR BRAIN WHILE trol. Its a slower process you have to
PROCRASTINATING

W
consciously kick into gear.
hen you put off a When you contemplate doing your
pressing project, you taxes, the limbic system first activates
avoid negative emo- with its urgent goal of feeling better
tions caused by an now, which is accomplished by avoid-
unpleasant task because you want to ing this dreaded task. Lagging behind
feel good now. But all youre really is the more responsible prefrontal
doing is giving the problem to your cortex, which you need to engage to
future self. So the question neuro- think about the benefits of completing
logically becomes, Why do we treat your tax return on time.

80 | 092014 | rd.com
 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

YOUR BRAIN IN LOVE

T
Romantic love originates in the
he luckiest among us relate ventral tegmental area in the oldest
to not only the romantic part of the brain near centers that gov-
love Ann Druyan experi- ern thirst and hunger, she explains.
enced when she first fell for Romantic love is a basic drive that
Carl Sagan but also the long-lasting focuses our energy on winning lifes
bond that linked the couple until greatest prize: a mating partner. It is
Sagans death 19 years later. Those a mechanism for survival.
two distinct types of love arise from A primary brain region linked with
different brain regions, says Helen attachment, however, is the ventral
Fisher, PhD, a member of the Center pallidum, which is more modern and
for Human Evolutionary Studies at higher up (in the third scoop). In-
Rutgers University. tense, romantic attraction is a more

rd.com | 092014 | 81
T H E B E AU T I F U L L I F E O F YO U R B R A I N

primitive response than the Harvard University

feelings of attachment, Center for Brain Sci-
which are more recent, ence. When somebody
she says. This circuitry cuts you off, you as-
is linked to lifelong love. sume that person is a
People in love long jerkinstead of won-
t e r m s h ow a c t i v i t y dering if hes rushing to
in the ventral medial the hospitaland that
prefrontal cortex, which Your dreaming makes you mad.
is linked with positive brain is Our brains were
illusionthe ability built to overreact to a
to overlook cons and
perfectly suited perceived threat. The
focus on pros, Fisher to solve the same neuronal machin-
says. People in long- problems of your ery that protected our
lasting love relation- ancestors from charg-
ships say things like It
waking life. ing lions is locked and
annoys me when he loaded when we en-
doesnt pick up his socks, but I love counter ordinary stresses like traffic,
his sense of humor. This mind-set says neuropsychologist Rick Hanson.
may help nurture loving feelings long Your body releases the hormone cor-
after the honeymoon period. tisol; this sets off the brains alarm bell
by stimulating the emotionally charged
YOUR BRAIN ON amygdala while damaging neurons in
ROAD RAGE

B
the hippocampus, which shrinks the
eing pepper-sprayed, getting calming part of the brain that puts
punched, and landing in jail things in perspective.
are all outcomes of recent To bring this stress response under
cases of traffic incidents control, we can use our newer brain
like tailgating. How is it that road rage regions, like the prefrontal cortex, to
can result in 12,610 injuries and even regulate our older ones. For example:
218 murders over a seven-year period, Everyone has an involuntary reac-
as a AAA report concluded? tion to a stressful situation like giving
Blame a psychological quirk called a public talk. We feel butterflies and
fundamental attribution error. We have a dry mouth because thats how
assume that someones behavior is evolution has trained us, Moran
due to their innate disposition, as explains. But some people can recast
opposed to thinking about the situation that nervous energy as a positive force.
that could be causing it, says Joseph Their higher brain regions allow them
Moran, PhD, research associate at to reinterpret physical symptoms as a

82 | 092014 | rd.com
 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

sign they are excited and ready to con- While the primary visual cortex,
nect with the crowd. When you feel an- which receives light input from your
gry behind the wheel, forcing yourself eyes, is less active while youre sleep-
to refocussay, by thinking, Ill be only ing than when youre awake, the
15 minutes late, or, I might as well enjoy secondary visual cortex, which is
the nice day while I waitmay help you involved when you imagine some-
dial down your emotional reaction. thing, is most active during REM sleep.
The motor cortex turns on, firing off
YOUR BRAIN WHILE movement commands that are coun-
DREAMING

A
tered by another area that paralyzes
participant came to a dream muscles during sleep. Also notably,
study with a dilemma. He the censoring prefrontal cortex,
couldnt decide between which helps ensure you behave in
two graduate programs conventional ways, becomes less
near his Massachusetts home and two active while you snooze.
farther west. Then he dreamed he was Not only does this new distribution
in a plane flying over a map. The pilot of activity match the iconic features of
said they were having engine trouble dreamsvisually rich environments
and needed a safe place to land. The where you perform over-the-top
student suggested Massachusetts, but actions and events take bizarre twists
the pilot said Massachusetts was very but it also makes dreams fertile ground
dangerous. The student woke up real- for solving the problems of your waking
izing the right choice was a program life. Increased activity in the second-
away from home. ary visual cortex allows your dream-
By conducting such dream studies, ing mind to visualize new solutions
Deirdre Barrett, PhD, assistant clini- to problems. Inventors might see a
cal professor of psychology at Harvard design, or chemists might visualize the
University, has been exploring the structure of molecules, says Barrett.
complex workings of the brains Decreased activity in the prefrontal
sleep circuitry. After you conk out, cortex can help in instances where
she explains, your brain becomes youve been stuck.
quiet, but after 90 minutes, To maximize dreamings
it dramatically reactivates problem-solving benefits,
with rapid eye movement Barrett suggests in her book
( REM ) sleep, becoming as The Committee of Sleep that
active as it is when youre awake. at bedtime, you phrase your
However, that activity comes concern in a succinct way by writ-
from a different distribution of ing it or repeating it to yourself.
brain regions. Then come up with a visual image

rd.com | 092014 | 83
T H E B E AU T I F U L L I F E O F YO U R B R A I N

representing the issue, and powerful circuitry triggered

tell yourself you want to by essentials for survival like
dream an answer. Of equal eating and sex.
importance, keep a pad and Why does something
pen by the bed, and write seemingly nonessential
down your dream as soon like music engage that life-
as you wake up. Dreams are promoting system? Scientists
held in short-term memory, but are still trying to figure that
writing them down transfers them to out, but what happens to your brain
long-term memory, says Barrett. when you hear a song you love may
provide some crucial insight. Music
YOUR BRAIN WHILE increases cross talk between brain
LISTENING TO MUSIC

I
structures in old reward centers that
magine youre in line for coffee, handle pleasure and newer areas
and Pharrell Williamss bounc- of the cortex that handle prediction
ing hit Happy comes on the and anticipation, says Zatorre. In
radio. The resulting cascade of one study, he found that the brain
mental activity it takes to process released dopamine, a chemical linked
the music touches on all the most to pleasure and reward, in anticipa-
advanced aspects of human cognition, tion of a subjects favorite part of the
says Robert Zatorre, PhD, professor of song. So it may be that music fuels
n e u ro s c i e n c e a t t h e Mo n t re a l your brains innate desire to detect
Neurological Institute and Hospital patterns and solve problems.
at McGill University. First, the sound
hits your ear, activating a series of YOUR BRAIN WHILE
MEDITATING

M
structures from the cochlea (where
vibrations are turned into electri- editation may be a pow-
cal impulses) to the brains cortex. erful way to build our
When you recognize the tuneits brains old rowboat into a
name or where you last heard ityour sleek racer. The practice
auditory cortex is connecting with can grow brain tissue, improving our
regions that handle memory retrieval. moods and making us more resilient.
Then, if you start tapping your foot, Meditation involves metacogni-
youve activated the motor cortex in tionthinking about thinking, pay-
a very particular way because youre ing attention to attentionwhich uses
tapping to the exact beat of the song. the prefrontal cortex, says Hanson. It
Finally, if Happy has you feeling, engages the entire brain, accessing
well, happy, the song has turned on sensory and emotional experiences,
your brains reward systemancient, wants and drives, and deep ancient

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 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

substrates of consciousness. Medita- of mindfulness meditation boosted

tion seems to engage the most modern gray matter density in several re-
parts of the brain as well as the most gions, including the hippocampus
ancient ones. (involved in learning and memory),
In one study, participants who and decreased gray matter density in
meditated 40 minutes every day the amygdala (which plays a role in
showed thicker gray matter in areas stress).
involved in attention, decision mak- Sitting down, focusing on breath-
ing, and working memory, compared ing, and relaxing every day is actu-
with those who didnt meditate. An- ally going to build brain structure?
other study showed that eight weeks Hanson says. Thats pretty cool!

rd.com | 092014 | 85
 Laughter
THE BEST MEDICINE

A PRIEST AND A PASTOR are stand- The priest turns to the pastor and
ing by the side of a road holding up says, Do you think we should just
a sign that reads The end is near! put up a sign that says Bridge Out
Turn around now before its too late! instead?
A passing driver yells, You guys are
nuts! and speeds past them. From KARATE: the ancient Japanese art of
around the curve, they hear screech- getting people to buy lots of belts.
ing tiresthen a big splash. C o m e d i a n MYQ KAPLAN

86 | 092014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY PAT BYRNES

 HAPPY ONE-YEAR anniversary to
the Lean Cuisine in my freezer! WEIRD ANNIVERSARY
@SCBCHBUM On September 4, it will have
been 132 years since Thomas
A PRIDE OF LIONS, a gaggle of Edison brought electric
geese and heres how we might lights to Lower Manhattan.
classify these groups: So: lightbulb jokes.
A brat of boys Q: How many telemarketers does
A giggle of girls it take to change a lightbulb?
A stagger of drunks A: Only one, but she has to do
it while youre eating dinner.
A tedium of accountants
A stitch of doctors Q: How many 16-year-olds does it
A whine of losers take to change a lightbulb?
A jerk of politicians A: What-ever!
Your turn! Send em to rd.com/ Q: How many economists does it
submit. take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. If the lightbulb needed
changing, the market would have
CAN A 3-D PRINTER make ink
already done it.
cartridges for a 2-D printer?
C o m e d i a n JOE MANDE Q: How many tech-support folks
does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: We have a lightbulb here, and
I TOLD THE KIDS I never want to
it works fine. Can you tell me what
live in a vegetative state, dependent kind of bulb you have? OK. There
on some machine and fluids from could be four or five things wrong.
a bottle. So they unplugged my Now, have you turned the light
computer and threw out my wine. switch off and on?
S u b m i t t e d b y BEVERLY MCLAUGHLIN,
B u r n s v i l l e , Mi n n e s o t a
Edison says:
FAMOUS FILM QUOTES get the
I shouldve
redneck treatment:
invented
You had me at Sooooey!
better
Use the horse, Luke. lightbulb
Are you crying? Theres no crying gags.
in NASCAR!
Of all the trailer parks in Pine
Cone County, she had to pull her You dont have to be a genius to make
CORBIS

68 Rambler into mine. $100. We pay for funny jokes and lists!
From humorlabs.com Go to page 7 or rd.com/submit for details.

rd.com | 092014 | 87
MEDICAL DRAMA

FROZEN
One hundred years ago, hypothermia was often lethal.
88 | 092014 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPHS BY JAMIE CHUNG
BACK TO LIFE
Now doctors induce it to save people on the brink of death.
BY K E V I N F O N G , M D F R O M T H E BO O K E X T R E ME ME DI C I N E
I
T IS 1912. Antarctica is as inacces- extremes: the coldest, the highest, the
sible as it is fraught with risk; and most parched. Its climate has made
that, of course, is its attraction, it uninhabitable for all but the last
leading men to pit their lives against hundred years of human history.
its challenges. Having been beaten to Bleak though Antarctica may
the pole by Roald Amundsens Norwe- be, its important to consider how
gian expedition, Scott now embarks on Scotts body reacts to his plummeting
a race of a different kind: the scramble temperature because that process is
to write letters to the next of kin of his the key to an extraordinary advance
expedition team, telling of the mens in future medical technology.
brilliance and honor and how he was
responsible for leading them to their
1912: Shivers, Then
deaths. Time is against him.
Not only can temperatures freeze
Merciful Sleep
exposed flesh in seconds, but the con- Scotts physiology is designed to battle
tinents great sheets of ice hold water for him, to give him his best chance
locked away, and less than a single of survival. As he writes, he feels the
inch of rain falls inland each year. The heat draining out of his hand. The
Ross Ice Shelf is a desert, and it will blood vessels that run through his
attempt to dehydrate and desiccate bodys periphery, carrying hot blood
Scotts body. With much of the conti- to his skins surface and losing that
nent thrust two miles above sea level, heat uselessly to the outside world,
Scott is high enough to make heavy are constricting. His body hair stands
exertion uncomfortable, even for the on end to trap more air close to his
acclimatized. Thats not to mention skin. Both of these measures are an
the scouring Antarctic winds, which effort to reduce conductive heat loss.
will carry heat away from his body, In the Antarctic environment, how-
driving his temperature down. All ever, this physiological strategy is next
told, Antarctica is a continent of fierce to useless.

90 | 092014 | rd.com
  R E A D E R S D I G E ST

Next, Scott begins to shiver uncon- be reestablished, is instead stretched

trollably, generating enough heat to to many minutes.
slow the drop in temperature. This This window, elongated by cold
shivering is more than the casual temperatures, becomes crucial to
tremor we might feel at a bus stop in medical practitioners in the years
midwinter; Scotts muscles shake as ahead. Heres how hypothermia has
hard as they can, consuming fat and today become an asset to medicine, a
carbohydrates ravenously. This last tool for cheating death.
attempt at staving off death becomes
an act of physical endurance in itself.
1999: Miracle Under
It continues while there is enough
fuel to do so. But shivering, no matter
the Ice
P ROP STYLIST: BRI AN BYRN E; HA IR AND MAKEUP: PATRYC JA KORZ ENI AK FOR HAL L E Y RE SOU RCE S

how athletically, is merely the bodys In May 1999, three junior doctors,
method of buying time in the hope Anna Bgenholm, Torvind Naesheim,
that something in its external environ- and Marie Falkenberg, were ski-
ment will change for the better. ing off trail in the Kjlen Mountains
As deep hypothermia proceeds, of Northern Norway. The beautiful
it alters Scotts mind, making him evening was one of the first days of
irritable and possibly irrational. eternal sunshine at the start of sum-
When his bodys reserves of fuel run mer. All three were expert skiers;
out, the shivering stopswhich only Anna began her run confidently.
accelerates the rate at which he cools. But Anna unexpectedly lost
Mercifully, something that looks like control. Torvind and Marie watched
sleep follows, as the electrical activ- from afar as she tumbled headlong
ity in his brain begins to fail. He slips into a thick layer of ice covering a
into a coma well before the impair- mountain stream. Anna fell through
ment of his heart muscles cell mem- a hole in the ice, her head and chest
branes, the gatekeepers of electrical trapped beneath the frozen surface.
stability in that organ. Frenzied an- Her clothes began to soak, their extra
archic rhythms may follow, the heart weight carrying her deeper, dragging
writhing uselessly like a bag of worms her downstream with the current and
before finally coming to a standstill. farther beneath the ice.
With his heart no longer beating, his Torvind and Marie arrived just in
body is deprived of fresh oxygen. time to grab her ski boots, stopping
But at such low temperatures, the her from vanishing under the lip of
rate at which Scotts cells fail and die the ice. Anna was lying faceup with
is dragged out. The normal window of her mouth and nose out of the wa-
a few hundred seconds when his brain ter in an air pocket. She continued to
is dying, yet his circulation might still struggle, freezing, in the Arctic stream.

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F R OZ E N B AC K TO L I F E

ANNAS HEART HAD NOT BEATEN FOR AT

LEAST TWO HOURS. HER CORE TEMPERATURE,
56.7F, WAS LOWER THAN ANY SURVIVING
PATIENTS IN RECORDED MEDICAL HISTORY.

None of the three could have been break through the thick covering of ice.
in any doubt about the seriousness of Forty minutes after Anna became
the situation. Even in those first min- trapped, her desperate thrashing
utes, Annas core temperature was stopped, and her body went limp. The
beginning to plunge. Torvind called for hypothermia, now profound enough
help on his mobile phone. Two rescue to anesthetize her brain, would soon
teams were sent, one from the top of stop her heart. Another 40 minutes
the mountain, on skis, and another passed before rescuers arrived with
from the town of Narvik at its base. a more substantial shovel that could
The ski team arrived first, but the snow break through the ice.
shovel the group had brought couldnt Annas body, lifeless and blue, was

92 | 092014 | rd.com
 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

pulled out of the stream. She had was genuine terra incognita. Further
stopped breathing and was without a attempts to resuscitate Anna could
pulse. As the resuscitation effort be- proceed only in the knowledge that in
gan, the challenge Anna faced seemed similar situations, past medical teams
insurmountable. Her core tempera- had always failed.
ture was perhaps more than 36F But the team at Troms decided to
lower than it should have been. continue. There was still the glimmer
The key to good resuscitation is to of hope that the terrible cold might
keep the blood supplied with oxygen also have preserved her brain.

M
and moving around the body. This
is achieved by breathing for the pa- ADS GILBERT, the anesthetist
tient and then compressing the chest leading the resuscitation
rhythmically to provide something effort, moved Anna to the
approximating circulation. None of operating room. Raising her tem-
this is as efficient as the bodys native perature was going to be a massive
heartbeat and breathing, but it buys challenge. Warm blankets and heated
time. In principle, it sounds straight- rooms alone wouldnt be nearly
forward. In practice, there is perhaps enough. Raising Annas whole body
nothing that adequately describes the temperature through all those miss-
sickening, repetitive crunch of ribs ing degrees would take an enormous
beneath the heel of the rescuers hand amount of energyequivalent to the
or the rising sense of desperation that boiling of dozens of kettles of water.
the rescuer feels as the minutes tick by. To do this quickly and without doing
Just before 8 p.m., more than an harm in the process, Mads knew Anna
hour and a half after she fell into the would have to be put on a heart-lung
stream, Anna was whisked onto a bypass machine, the sort of device
helicopter. While the aircraft was mov- normally reserved for open-heart
ing speedily across the Norwegian surgery. By removing Annas chilled
landscape, the struggle to save Annas blood, circulating it in a bypass ma-
life became a desperate scramble. chine, and heating and then returning
Helicopters, with their cramped condi- it to her lifeless body, doctors could
tions and deafening noise, are among raise her core temperature rapidly. At
the most difficult places to work. least that was the theory.
When the helicopter touched down Thirty minutes after Anna was
at Troms University Hospital, Annas established on the heart-lung bypass
heart had not beaten for at least two machine, her core temperature had
hours. Her core temperature, 56.7F, increased by more than half, to 87.8F.
was lower than any surviving patients The heart, its molecular machinery
in recorded medical history. This now warm enough to work again,

rd.com | 092014 | 93
F R OZ E N B AC K TO L I F E

stuttered at first, unable to regain its of rehabilitation, but the day came
own essential rhythm. But eventu- when Anna was well enough to ski and
ally, electricity began to flow through return to her training as a doctor. She
the muscle of her heart, followed by specialized in radiology and now works
waves of contraction. A little after at the hospital that saved her life.
10 p.m., Annas heart started to beat Anna Bgenholm is an extraordinary
independently for the first time in at survivor. Against seemingly impossible
least three hours. odds, doctors exploited her profound
But the fight was far from over. Dur- hypothermia to resuscitate her. While
ing the scramble to save Annas life, her survival occurred in the context of
the team had damaged an artery be- an accident, other patients continue to
hind the collarbone on the right side benefit from hypothermia by design.
of her chest. The hemorrhage that fol-
lowed was made far worse by Annas 2010 and Beyond:
hypothermic state because blood Hypothermia Saves
loses much of its ability to clot at low
temperatures. The team now faced
Lives
the possibility that she could bleed to Esmail Dezhbods symptoms had
death. Cardiothoracic surgeons had begun to worry him. He felt pressure
to open her chest, isolate the bleed- in his chest, at times great pain. A
ing artery, and stop the hemorrhage. body scan revealed that Esmail was
After hours of work by dozens of peo- in trouble. He had an aneurysm of
ple, she was finally stable enough to be his thoracic aorta, a swelling of the
transferred to the intensive care unit. main arterial tributary leading from
While there, Anna miraculously his heart. This vessel had doubled in
survived lung failure and kidney fail- size, to the width of a can of Coke.
ure and opened her eyes for the first Esmail had a bomb in his chest
time after just 12 days. She found her- that might go off at any moment.
self paralyzed from the neck down, Aneurysms elsewhere can usually be
alive but quadriplegic. repaired with relative ease. But in this
Thankfully, Annas paralyzed body location, so close to the heart, there
did not remain that way. It wasnt an ir- are no easy options. The thoracic
reversible injury to her spinal cord that aorta carries blood from the heart and
had left her unable to move. Instead, into the upper body, supplying oxygen
her peripheral nerves, damaged by to the brain, among other organs. To
the extremes of cold, had failed. Slowly repair the aneurysm, flow would have
but surely, these nerves and her flaccid to be interrupted by stopping the
muscles began to regain their function. heart. At normal body temperatures,
It would ultimately take six hard years this and the accompanying oxygen

94 | 092014 | rd.com
 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

starvation would damage the brain, a length of around six inches, then
leading to permanent disability or replace it with an artificial graft. The
death within three or four minutes. electrical activity in Esmails brain is,
Esmails surgeon, cardiac special- at this point, undetectable. He is not
ist John Elefteriades, MD, decided breathing and has no pulse. Physically
to carry out the procedure under the and biochemically, he is indistin-
conditions of deep hypothermic arrest. guishable from someone who is dead.
He used a heart-lung bypass machine After 32 minutes, the repair is
to cool Esmails body to a mere 64.4F complete. The team warms Esmails
before stopping his heart completely. freezing body, and very quickly his
Then, while the heart and circulation heart explodes back to life, pumping
were at a standstill, Dr. Elefteriades beautifully, delivering a fresh supply
performed the complicated repair, of oxygen to his brain for the first time
racing the clock while his patient lay in over half an hour.
dying on the operating table. A day later, I visit Esmail in the
I was there to watch this remarkable intensive care unit. He is awake and
feat of surgery. Though Dr. Elefteria- well. His wife stands by his bed, over-
des is an old hand with hypothermic joyed to have him back.

T
arrest, he says that every time feels
like a leap of faith. Once circulation O CURE ESMAIL, the surgeons
has come to a standstill, he has no had to come close to killing
more than about 45 minutes before himusing profound hypo-
irreversible damage to the patients thermia to buy his survival. Within a
brain occurs. Without the induced century, we have come to understand
hypothermia, he would have just four. the process that killed Robert Falcon
The doctor lays the stitches down Scottand learned how to use it
elegantly and efficiently, making to our advantage. Esmail and Anna
every movement count. He has to cut are living proof that these physical
out the diseased section of the aorta, extremes can cure as well as kill.
EXTREME MEDICINE, BY KEVIN FONG, MD, COPYRIGHT 2014 BY KEVIN FONG, IS PUBLISHED BY THE PENGUIN PRESS,
A MEMBER OF PENGUIN GROUP (USA) LLC, PENGUIN.COM.

HIGH FASHION

A tough thing about being a giraffe is knowing that

once you put on a necklace, its there forever.
@ROLLDIGGITY

rd.com | 092014 | 95
WHAT ITS LIKE ...

To Notify a Nobel
Prize Winner
BY TOM W H I P P L E F R OM I NT E L L I GE NT L I FE

COME THE SECOND WEEK OF OCTOBER, if Staffan Normark, the

permanent secretary of the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences,
is on the line, it will probably be the most important conversation
of your life. If its a Tuesday, he will be informing you that you have
won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry. If its a Wednesday, Physics.
Economics comes the Monday after.
Normark has a strategy for getting
his phone calls past secretaries. We
tell them this is a very important
call. A. Very. Important. Call.
He enunciates each word
carefully before moving
on to the clincher: From
Stockholm. So far, he
has always been put
through.
The 615-member
academy votes on
the winners at
9:30 a.m., and
Normark makes
his call at 11:15

96 | 092014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY SILJA GOETZ

a.m. If you dont pick up the phone, the Could he please listen to his voice
ceremony continues without you. The mail? I thought it might be saying I
public announcement comes at noon. had won. I went back into the room
If, like Saul Perlmutter (Physics, 2011), Id just left and said, Do excuse me. I
you live in California and the call think Ive won the Nobel Prize.
comes, unanswered, in the middle of More often, Normark must con-
the night, then it could be the televi- vince the recipient that hes telling
sion news vans outside your house the truth. Recalls economist James
that alert you of your prize. Mirrlees, who got the call in 1996,
Making the calls is the I politely suggested that
best part of Normarks Id need some proof.
job, he says, though it John Gurdon (Physiol-
can be stressful. Weeks Often Normark ogy or Medicine, 2012)
of research go into find- must convince the was in his laboratory
ing the correct phone recipient that hes when he was told he had
numbers. How they telling the truth. won the Nobel for clon-
get them, I dont know, ing a frog. Given that
he says. The morning of It helps that this was work he had
The Call, its nervous I have a very done 50 years earlier,
in the room, says Nor- Swedish accent. he assumed that some-
mark. We like to find one was pulling my leg.
the individuals. Once Luckily, says Normark,
the committee got the wrong number, I have a very Swedish accent.
conferring the most important scien- For Normark, the most satisfy-
tific prize in the world on a confused ing reaction of all, though, is utter
neighbor of the right person. surprise. The person on the line is
Others take some diligent track- completely silent. You can just barely
ing down. Paul Nurse (Physiology or hear breathing, he says.
Medicine, 2001), for one, figured he Even when the would-be win-
was out of the running. The geneticist ners have an inkling that it could be
and cell biologist, and now president their time, when their phone rings,
of the Royal Society in London, says, they cant help being shocked. Serge
For three years, Id had some calls Haroche (Physics, 2012) was out
from journalists asking me, Do you walking with his wife when he saw a
think youll win this year? So when Swedish area code appear on his cell
he hadnt heard by mid-morning, he phone. [When I heard the news],
thought, Oh well, and went out. I was lucky to be walking near a bench,
But halfway through a meeting, a so I was able to sit down immediately.
message came from Nurses office. It was really overwhelming.
INTELLIGENT LIFE (SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2013), COPYRIGHT 2013 BY THE ECONOMIST NEWSPAPER LIMITED.
PARENTING

Re
 If we want our kids to be their
smartest, bravest, and most
creative and independent selves,

The
weve got to let them play with fire

volution
Will Not Be
Supervised BY H ANNA ROS IN FR O M T H E ATL A N TIC

A
TRIO OF BOYS tramps along the length of a wooden fence,
back and forth, shouting like carnival barkers. The Land! It
opens in half an hour. When the gate finally swings open, the
boys and about a dozen other children race directly to their
favorite spots. Is this a junkyard? asks my five-year-old son,
Gideon, who has come with me to visit. Not exactly, I tell
him. The Land is a playground that takes up nearly an acre at the far end of a
quiet housing development in North Wales. Its only two years old but could
just as well have been here for decades. The ground is muddy in spots and,
at one end, slopes down steeply to a creek. The center of the playground is
dominated by a high pile of tires that is growing ever smaller as a redheaded
girl and her friend roll them down the hill and into the creek. Why are you
rolling tires into the water? my son asks. Because we are, the girl replies.

rd.com | 092014 | 99
T H E R E VO LU T I O N W I L L N OT B E S U P E RV I S E D

Someone has started a fire in the advocate. Allen wanted to design

tin drum in the corner. Three boys playgrounds with loose parts that kids
lounge in the only unbroken chairs could move around to create their
around it. Nearby, a couple of other own makeshift structures. But more
boys are doing mad flips on a stack important, she wanted to encourage
of filthy mattresses, which makes a a free and permissive atmosphere
fine trampoline. At the other end of with as little adult supervision as pos-
the playground, younger kids dart in sible. The idea was that kids should
and out of large structures made of face what, to them, seem like really
wooden pallets stacked on top of one dangerous risks and conquer them
another. Occasionally a group knocks alone. That, she said, is what builds
down a few palletsjust for the fun of self-confidence and courage. But these
it or to build some new kind of slide or playgrounds are so out of sync with
fort or unnamed structure. todays norms that when I showed fel-

O
low parents back home a video of kids
ther than some walls lit lighting fires, the most common sen-
up with graffiti, there are tence I heard from them was This is
no bright colors or any- insane. That might explain why there
thing else that belongs to are so few adventure playgrounds left
the usual playground landscape: no around the world and why a newly
shiny metal slide, no yellow seesaw established one, such as the Land,
with a central ballast to make sure no feels like an act of defiance.
one falls off, no rubber bucket swing The Land is staffed by profession-
for babies. There is, however, a frayed ally trained playworkers, who keep
rope swing that carries you over the a close eye on the kids but dont in-
creek and deposits you on the other tervene all that much. Claire Griffiths,
side, if you can make it that far (oth- the manager, describes her job as
erwise, it deposits you in the creek). loitering with intent. Although the
On this day, the kids seem excited by a playworkers almost never stop the
walker that was donated by one of the kids from what theyre doing, before
elderly neighbors and is repurposed, the playground had even opened, the
at different moments, as a scooter, a workers had filled binders with risk
jail cell, and a gymnastics bar. benefits assessments for nearly every
The Land is an adventure play- activity. (In the two years since the
ground. In the United Kingdom, Land opened, no one has been injured
such playgrounds became popular outside of the occasional scraped
in the 1940s as a result of the efforts knee.) Heres the list of benefits for
of Lady Marjory Allen of Hurtwood, fire: It can be a social experience to
a landscape architect and childrens sit around with friends, make friends,

100 | 092014 | rd.com

  R E A D E R S D I G E ST

to sing songs and to dance

around, to stare at; it can
be a cooperative experience
where everyone has jobs. It
can be something to experi-
ment with, to take risks, to
test its properties, its heat,
its power, to relive our evo-
lutionary past. The risks?
Burns from fire or fire pit
and children accidentally
burning each other with
flaming cardboard or wood.
In this case, the benefits
win because a playworker
is always nearby, watching
for impending accidents
but otherwise letting the
children figure out lessons
about fire on their own.
Im gonna put this card-
board box in the fire, one of
the boys says.
You know that will make
a lot of smoke, says Griffiths.
Where theres smoke,
theres fire, he answers, and The irony is that our attention
ALL P HOTOGRAP HS BY P ETER YANG/AUGUST

in goes the box. Smoke in- to safety has not made a

stantly fills the air and stings
our eyes. The other boys sit-
tremendous difference in the
ting around the fire cough, number of accidents kids have.
duck their heads, and curse
him out. In my playground
set, we would call this natural conse- not to come at all. The dozens of kids
quences, although we rarely have the who passed through the playground
nerve to let even much tamer scenar- on the day I visited came and went on
ios than this one play out. By contrast, their own. In seven hours, aside from
the custom at the Land is for parents Griffiths and the other playworkers, I
not to intervene. In fact, its for parents saw only two adults.

rd.com | 092014 | 101

T H E R E VO LU T I O N W I L L N OT B E S U P E RV I S E D

Even though women work vastly this isnt true, or at least not in the way
more hours now than they did in the that we think. Maybe the real ques-
1970s, mothersand fathersspend tions are, How did these fears come
much more time with their children to have such a hold over us? And what
than they used to. My own mother have our children lostand gained
didnt work all that much when I was as weve succumbed to them?
younger, but she didnt spend vast In 1978, a toddler named Frank
amounts of time with me either. She Nelson made his way to the top of a
didnt arrange my playdates or drive 12-foot slide in Hamlin Park in Chicago,
me to swimming lessons. On week- with his mother a few steps behind
him. The structure was known as a
tornado slide because it twisted on
We cant create the perfect the way down. But the boy never
environment for our kids made it that far. He fell through
the gap between the handrail and
any more than we can the steps and landed on his head
create the perfect kids. on the asphalt. A year later, his
parents sued the Chicago Park
District and the two companies
days after school, she just expected that had manufactured and installed
me to show up for dinner; on week- the slide. Frank had fractured his skull
ends, I barely saw her at all. I, on the in the fall and suffered permanent
other hand, might easily spend every brain damage. He was forced to wear
waking Saturday hour with one, if not a helmet all the time to protect his
all three, of my children, taking one to fragile skull.
a soccer game, the second to a theater The Nelsons lawsuit was one of
program, the third to a friends house, a number that fueled a backlash
or I might just hang out with them at against potentially dangerous play-
home. When my daughter was about ground equipment. Theodora Briggs
ten, my husband suddenly realized Sweeney, a consumer advocate and
that in her whole life, she had prob- safety consultant from John Carroll
ably spent not more than ten minutes University, became a public crusader
unsupervised by an adult. Not ten for playground reform. The name of
minutes in ten years. the playground game will continue to
When you ask parents why they be Russian roulette, with the child as
are more protective than their par- unsuspecting victim, Sweeney wrote
ents were, they might answer that the in 1979. She was concerned about
world is more dangerous now than it many thingsthe height of slides, the
was when they were growing up. But space between railings, the danger of

102 | 092014 | rd.com

 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

loose S-shaped hooks that hold parts their way around tricky physical or
togetherbut what she worried about social and emotional situations.
most was asphalt and dirt. Sweeney Whats lost amid all this protection?
declared that lab simulations showed Ellen Sandseter, a professor of early
children could die from a fall of as childhood education, observed and
little as a foot if their head hit asphalt interviewed children on playgrounds.
or three feet if their head hit dirt. In 2011, she published her results. Chil-

A
dren, she concluded, have a sensory
federal government report need to taste danger and excitement;
around that time found this doesnt mean that what they do has
that tens of thousands to actually be dangerous, only that they
of children were turning feel they are taking a great risk. That
up in the emergency room each year scares them, but then they overcome
because of playground accidents. As the fear. Sandseter identifies six kinds
a result, in 1981 the U.S. Consumer of risky play: 1. Exploring heights, or
Product Safety Commission published getting the birds perspective, as she
the first Handbook for Public Play- calls ithigh enough to evoke the sen-
ground Safety, a short set of general sation of fear. 2. Handling dangerous
guidelines to govern the equipment. toolsusing sharp scissors or knives,
In January 1985, the Chicago Park or heavy hammers that at first seem
District settled the suit with the unmanageable but that kids learn to
Nelsons. Frank Nelson was guar- master. 3. Being near dangerous ele-
anteed a minimum of $9.5 million. mentsplaying near vast bodies of wa-
Park departments all over the coun- ter or near a fire, so kids are aware there
try began removing equipment newly is danger nearby. 4. Rough-and-tumble
considered dangerous. The cultural play wrestling and play fightingso
understanding of acceptable risk began kids learn to negotiate aggression
to shift, until any known risk became and cooperation. 5. Speedcycling or
nearly synonymous with hazard. skiing at a pace that feels too fast.
At the core of the safety obses- 6. Exploring on ones own.
sion is a view of children that is the The final irony is that our close at-
exact opposite of Lady Allens, an tention to safety has not in fact made
idea that children are too fragile a tremendous difference in the num-
or unintelligent to assess the risk ber of accidents children have. The
of any given situation, argues Tim number of emergency room visits
Gill, author of No Fear, a critique related to playground equipment, in-
of our risk-averse society. Now cluding home equipment, in 1980 was
our working assumption is that 156,000, or one visit per 1,452 Ameri-
children cannot be trusted to find cans. In 2012, it was 271,475 visits, or

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T H E R E VO LU T I O N W I L L N OT B E S U P E RV I S E D

one per 1,156 Americans. The number tion school, homework, after-school
of deaths hasnt changed much either. classes, organized playdates, sports
Head injuries, a fatal fall onto a rock teams coached by a fellow parent, and
most of the horrors that Sweeney de- very little free, unsupervised time. The
scribed all those years ago turn out to result is a continuous and ultimately
be freakishly rare. dramatic decline in childrens oppor-

T
tunities to play and explore in their
he category on Sandseters own chosen ways, writes Peter Gray,
list that likely makes this a psychologist at Boston College.
generation of parents most When Claire Griffiths, the Lands
nervous is the one involving manager, applies for grants to fund
childrens straying from adult super- her play spaces, she often lists the
vision. Parents these days have little advantages of enticing kids outside:
tolerance for childrens wandering on combating obesity, developing motor
their own, for reasons that, much like skills. She also talks about the issue
the fear of playground injuries, have Lady Allen talked about all those years
their roots in the 1970s. In 1979, nine agoencouraging children to take
months after Frank Nelson fell off that risks so they build their confidence.
slide, six-year-old Etan Patz left his But the more nebulous benefits
familys New York apartment to walk of a freer child culture are harder to
by himself to the school-bus stop. He explain, even though experiments
never came home. The Etan Patz case bear them out. For example, begin-
launched the era of the ubiquitous ning in 2011, Swanson Primary School
missing child. in New Zealand suspended all play-
But abduction cases like Etan Patzs ground rules, allowing the kids to run,
were incredibly uncommon a genera- climb trees, slide down a hill, jump off
tion ago and remain so today. What swings, and play in a loose-parts pit
has changed is the nature of the Amer- that was like a mini adventure play-
ican family and the broader sense of ground. The teachers feared chaos, but
community. For a variety of reasons in fact what they got was less naughti-
divorce, more single-parent families, ness and bullyingbecause the kids
more mothers workingboth families were too busy and engaged to want to
and neighborhoods have lost some of cause trouble, the principal said.
their cohesion. Trust in general has Kyung-Hee Kim, an educational
eroded, and parents have sought to psychologist at the College of William
control more closely what they can: & Mary, has analyzed results from the
their children. Ask any of my parent- Torrance Tests of Creative Thinking
ing peers to chronicle a week in their and found that, over the past decade
childs life, and they will likely men- or more, American children have

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 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

become less emotionally expressive, pushed down the slope that led to
less energetic, less talkative and ver- the creek. A kids head poked out of
bally expressive, less humorous, less the top, and I realized it was my sons.
imaginative, less unconventional, less Even by my relatively laissez-faire
lively and passionate, less perceptive, parenting standards, the situation
less apt to connect seemingly irrel- seemed dicey. The slope was very
evant things, less synthesizing, and steep, and Christian, the kid who was
less likely to see things from a differ- doing the pushing, was only seven.
ent angle. The largest drop has been Also, the creek was frigid, and I had
in the measure of elaboration, or no change of clothes for Gideon.
the ability to take an idea and expand You might fall in the creek, said
on it in a novel way. Practicing psy- Christian.
chologists have also written about the I know, said Gideon.
unique identity crisis that this genera- Christian had already taught
tion facesa fear of growing up and, Gideon how to climb up to the high-
in the words of Brooke Donatone, a est slide and manage the rope swing.
New York Citybased therapist, an At this point, hed earned some trust.
inability to think for themselves. Ill push you gently, OK?
Researchers have started pushing Ready, steady, go! Gideon said in
back against parental control. But the response. Down he went and landed
real cultural shift has to come from in the creek. In my experience, Gideon
parents. We can no more create the is very finicky about water. He hates to
perfect environment for our children have even a drop land on his sleeve
than we can create perfect children. while hes brushing his teeth. I began
To believe otherwise is a delusion, scheming how to get him new clothes.
and a harmful one; remind yourself Could I knock on a neighbors door?
of that every time the panic rises. Or persuade him to sit awhile with the
As the sun set over the Land, I no- boys by the fire?
ticed out of the corner of my eye a Im wet, Gideon said to Christian,
gray binlike the kind you would and then they raced over to claim
keep your recycling inabout to be some hammers to build a new fort.
THE ATLANTIC (MARCH 19, 2014). COPYRIGHT 2014 BY THE ATLANTIC MONTHLY GROUP, THEATLANTIC.COM.

WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM

OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES?

A nervous wreck.

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 FACES
OF AMERICA

BY G L EN N G L ASS E R

Amanda Gefter
C A M B R I D G E , M A S SAC H U S E T TS

When I was a teenager, my father

took me out to dinner and asked
me how I would define nothing.
Hed been thinking about the
concept of nothing and how you
can get something from nothing
and how the universe could have
come from nothing. So we had this
conversation, and he recruited me
to figure out the nature of reality
with him. Now Im a science writer.

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 Thats Outrageous!
FUNNY NUMBERS

700 The number 419.99 The mile

of church-bell tolls marker Colorado put
a Rhode Island man on Interstate 70 after
had to endure in one the old one420, which
week, which put him is linked to marijuana
in a bad mood and kept being stolen.
contributed to the Source: newser.com

demise of his mar-

riage, according to his 78 The number
lawsuit against said of antiriot vehicles
church. Source: The Week bought by German
police. During a public
1, 3, 5, 7, 9 The exhibition, one of the
odd-numbered seats that a man 33-ton vehicleswhich was adver-
in Chinarecently split from his tised as withstanding bricks, stones,
girlfriendbought last Valentines and Molotov cocktailswas damaged
Day to make sure couples could not by tennis balls, eggs, and plastic bottles
sit together at a movie theater. filled with water. Source: The Daily Mail

Source: web.orange.co.uk

1,089,920 The amount in dollars

29,305 The number of textsconsti- lost when a member of the cleaning
tuting the entire works of William staff at a German museum mistook
Shakespearesent by a British man a piece of art for garbage and threw
to a video game seller who had ripped it out. Source: The Guardian

him off. The thiefs phone beeped

nonstop for a week. Source: The Bristol Post 911 The number called by a Texas
woman requesting that someone
73 The percentage of the vote that bring her cigarettes. Source: nbcdfw.com

the government of Azerbaijan stated

the president had received during the 4,500,000,000 The divorce
past election. Note: The results were judgment in dollars against Russian
accidentally leaked a day before billionaire Dmitry Rybolovlev.
anyone voted. Source: huffingtonpost.com Source: The New York Daily News

ILLUSTRATION NISHANT CHOKSI rd.com | 092014 | 107

MY MOST UNFORGETTABLE CHARACTER

I thought my student was ordinary.

I came to learn he was
just too busy being brilliant.

Judging
Jack BY DAV I D M CC U L LO U G H J R .
F R O M T H E B O O K YO U A R E N OT S P E C I A L

LET ME TELL YOU about a recent student of mine. Well call him Jack.
Hes a quiet boy, our Jack, self-possessed, responsible enough generally,
amply courteous, eminently likable. In my normative-level senior litera-
ture class, he was attentive and receptive but disinclined to push himself. He
found a comfortable pace and stuck with it. The snarky might be tempted
to condemn him as undistinguished, B/C+, just another kidany of
these tantamount, in the current climate, to pretty heavy condemna-
tion. More and more of late, I find myself compelled to defend kids like
Jack, even to other teachers, some of whom seem to hold in a museum-lit
shrine an image of the Ideal Student to which they expect all those of the
flesh-and-blood variety to aspire. Anything short of that is a disappoint-
ment, a personal affront, a sign, even, of a deficient character. Superlative

108 | 092014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY JON KRAUSE

JUDGING JACK

achievement and a whole salad bar of of a revelation, I happened to learn

laurels should be everyones goal, they, that reticent Jack did have a passion
too, seem to believe, and learning is after all ... happened to learn because
what happens along the way. Students he mentioned it. He had, as it turns
like Jack can become invisible. In fact, out, a big bag, a let-the-world-go-on-
many seem to prefer it that way. without-me bag, a calling. I even liked
Th rou g h t h e ye a r, that he hadnt bothered
Jack ambled along at to tell me about it until
about three-quarters
speed. Over the first
Bliss does not our time together was
almost over; it was, after
few months, I waited for have to be big all, his. And it served,
signs of ignition. When and important. as far as he knewor
he handed me a sub- would at least let onno
mediocre paper as the
Nor must it useful purpose beyond
last of the autumn leaves bring accolades the gratification of doing
were skittering down of any luster it, which he articulated
the street, I deemed it poorly, which bothered
reason for a sit-down.
to matter. him not in the least. He
We had a pleasant talk. wasnt being coached or
He agreed he could be doing better, spurred or assessed by an adult.
acknowledged he had it in him, said No competition awaited for which
he recognized the benefits of work- he was preparing. Hed had no special
ing hard; cause enough, I thought, for training for it; nor did it play even an
cautious optimism. We parted pals. oblique role, as far as I know, in any of
But nothing changed. A nudge here, his college aspirations. The pleasure
a prod there, even a mild remonstra- and satisfactions were his alone and
tion or two ... nothing. Fair enough, for themselves, and more than enough.
I thought. A student, particularly a In May, I learned that Jack draws.
senior, is allowed to govern his own But its more than that: Jack draws
engagement, to deem my class not pictures of three dimensions. He cre-
his bag. As long as something is. I left ates detailed paper models, sculptures
him to his own recognizance. really, with ordinary printer paper,
But across a long and mild winter pencils and pens, scissors and Scotch
came evidence of nothing from our tape. He does it purely because he
Jack in the way of bags, no bag in any enjoys it. From the Hogwarts Castle
direction. Spring eased innary a to the Statue of Liberty to a life-size,
whiff of fervor regarding anything. wearable baseball cap, and on and on,
Then in May, a new generation of some no bigger than a deck of cards,
leaves greening the trees, with the effect some as big as a collie. Something

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 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

strikes his fancy, he sits down and the itch was not entirely scratched.
makes a model. If it takes a week, it Realized that the ride had a left side
takes a week. If the phone rings, he lets and a right and a back, so he drew
it. If the homework gets short shrift, them too. When he was done, there
so be it. And they are exquisite, these they lay on the table, four sheets of
Jack originals. They are beautifully, paper with drawings on them. Then
masterly done. You should see them. he had an idea, a delighted little zing:
Everyone should see themthe Faberg The ride doesnt lie flat on a table. It
eggs of paper sports cars and Millen- stands upright. It has three dimen-
nium Falcons. On that note, though, sions. He went for scissors and tape.
Jack doesnt seem to care much either Voil.
way. Its nice that people like them, but Bliss does not have to be big and
thats not why he does it. The fun, the important. Nor must it bring one
satisfaction, is in the doing. accolades of any luster to matter. Bliss
It began a few years earlier. His fam- is more than its own reward. And
ily was on vacation at the Jersey Shore. while rare is the acorn that becomes
Time ran short at an amusement park, an oak tree, every oak tree, every last
if I have it right, and Jack was unable one, began as an acorn you could pick
to go on a ride hed been eager to try. up and put in your pocket.
The family headed for the car with a Whether Jack goes on to become an
crestfallen kid in towwhich, Ill point artist or an architect or an engineer
out, is a kid for you: Fun all day at an or anything else directly consequent
amusement park, and hes glum about to his enthusiasm for model making
the one ride he didnt get to go on. does not matter. He has learned some-
Well, thinks the parent, too bad. But, thing about passion, about focus,
thinks the kid, I really, really, really about clearing a space in his life and
wanted to go on that ride. Mid-mope, doing what he does purely because he
Jack gets back to wherever it is theyre loves and believes in it. He has honed
staying and, not knowing why, reaches a set of abilities too. Developed stan-
for pencil and paper and creates a me- dards of his own measure and sees
ticulously detailed drawing of the ride, to it that he meets them. He knows,
a longing drawing, a demonstration of then, the satisfactions of seeing with
frustrated ardor. A love letter. And, he purpose, conceiving ideas, dedicat-
realized at the end, it came out great. It ing himself to them, and producing
was fun to do. Time and the world had good work. In choosing and doing for
vanished. Finished, he looked at the himself, he earns his confidence and
picture. Felt a measure of pride in his self-worth. Very good things, these,
handiwork. Realized sitting there that and, I hope, lifelong.
YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL, BY DAVID MCCULLOUGH JR., COPYRIGHT 2014 BY DAVID MCCULLOUGH, IS PUBLISHED BY ECCO BOOKS,
AN IMPRINT OF HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS, ECCOBOOKS.COM.

rd.com | 092014 | 111

BIG IDEA
If you havent discovered your exceptional
gift yet, youre in good company. Mark Twain,
Alfred Hitchcock, and Czanne all reached
the apex of their talent in midlife.

Late
The
Bloomer
Phenomenon
BY MA LCO L M G L A DW ELL FR O M T H E BO O K W H AT T H E D OG SAW

BEN FOUNTAIN WAS AN ASSOCIATE in the real estate practice at the Dallas
offices of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld, just a few years out of law school,
when he decided he wanted to write fiction. The only thing Fountain had ever
published was a law-review article. He had tried to write when he came home at
night after work, but usually he was too tired. He decided to quit his job.
I was tremendously apprehensive, Fountain recalls. I felt like Id stepped off
a cliff and didnt know if the parachute was going to open. I was doing well at the
practice of law. And my parents were very proud of me It was crazy.
He began his new life on a February morninga Monday. He sat down at
his kitchen table at 7:30 a.m. He made a plan. Every day, he would write until
lunchtime. Then he would lie down on the floor for 20 minutes to rest his mind.
Then he would return to work for a few more hours. I treated it like a job. I
did not procrastinate, he says. His first story was about a stockbroker who

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T H E L AT E - B L O O M E R P H E N O M E N O N

uses inside information and crosses Gump in 1988. For every story he pub-
a moral line. It was 60 pages long lished in those early years, he had at
and took him three months to write. least 30 rejections. The novel that he
When he finished that story, he wrote put away in a drawer took him four
anotherand then another. years. His breakthrough with Brief
In his first year, Fountain sold two Encounters came in 2006, 18 years after
stories. He gained confidence. He he first sat down to write at his kitchen
wrote a novel. He decided it wasnt very table. The young writer took the liter-
good, and he ended up putting it in a ary world by storm at the age of 48.
drawer. Meanwhile, he got a short story
published in Harpers. A New York lit-
erary agent saw it and signed him up.
He put together a collection of short
G enius, in the popular concep-
tion, is inextricably tied up with
precocitydoing something truly
stories titled Brief Encounters with Che creative requires the exuberance and
Guevara, and Ecco, a HarperCollins energy of youth. Orson Welles made
imprint, published it. It was named his masterpiece, Citizen Kane, at 25.
one of the best books of the year by the Herman Melville wrote a book a year
San Francisco Chronicle, the Chicago through his late 20s, culminating at
Tribune, and Kirkus Reviews and drew age 32 with Moby-Dick. Mozart wrote
comparisons with the works of Graham his breakthrough Piano Concerto
Greene, Evelyn Waugh, Robert Stone, No. 9 in E-Flat Major at the age of 21.
and John le Carr. His second novel, How old was T. S. Eliot when he wrote
Billy Lynns Long Halftime Walk, was The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
published to glowing reviews and (I grow old I grow old)? Twenty-
received the National Book Critics three. Poets peak young, creativity
Circle Award for fiction. researcher James Kaufman maintains.
Ben Fountains rise sounds like a A few years ago, David Galenson,
familiar story: The young man sud- an economist at the University of
denly takes the literary world by storm. Chicago, examined this assumption.
But Ben Fountains success was far He looked through 47 major poetry
ILLUSTRATION BY JOE MCKENDRY

from sudden. He quit his job at Akin, anthologies published since 1980 and
counted the poems that appear most
frequently. The top 11 are, in order,
Malcolm Gladwell T. S. Eliots Prufrock, Robert Lowells
is a journalist and the
Skunk Hour, Robert Frosts Stop-
bestselling author of five
books. He has been a staff ping by Woods on a Snowy Evening,
writer at the New Yorker William Carlos Williamss Red Wheel-
since 1996. barrow, Elizabeth Bishops The Fish,
Ezra Pounds The River Merchants

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  R E A D E R S D I G E ST

Wife, Sylvia Plaths Daddy, Pounds the prodigy. His career as a serious
In a Station of the Metro, Frosts artist began around age 20. In short
Mending Wall, Wallace Stevenss order, he painted many of the great-
The Snow Man, and Williamss The est works of his careerincluding
Dance. Those 11 were composed at Les Demoiselles dAvignon, at the
the ages of 23, 41, 48, 40, 29, 30, 30, 28, age of 25. Picasso fit our usual ideas
38, 42, and 59, respectively. There is no about genius perfectly.
evidence, Galenson concluded, for Czanne didnt. If you go to the
the notion that poetry is Czanne room at the
a young persons game. Muse dOrsay, in Paris,
Forty-two percent of the array of master-
Frosts anthologized
The paintings pieces youll find along
poems were written after Czanne created the back wall were all
he was 50. For Williams, in his mid-60s painted at the end of
its 44 percent. For Ste- are valued 15 his career. The works
vens, its 49 percent. he created in his mid-
times as highly
The same was true 60s, Galenson found,
of film and literature, as his earliest are valued 15 times as
Galenson points out in works. highly as those he cre-
Old Masters and Young ated as a young man.
Geniuses: The Two Life The freshness, exuber-
Cycles of Artistic Cre- ance, and energy of youth
ativity. Yes, Orson did little for Czanne. He
Welles peaked as a was a late bloomer.
P ROP STYLIST: SARAH GUIDO FOR HALLEY RES OURCES

director at 25. But

Alfred Hitchcock
made Dial M for
Murder, Rear Win-
T he first day
Ben Fountain
sat down to write
dow, To Catch a Thief, at his kitchen
The Trouble with Harry, table went well. He
Vertigo, North by Northwest, knew how the story
and Psycho between his 54th about the stockbro-
and 61st birthdays. Mark Twain ker was supposed to
published Adventures of Huckle- start. But the second day,
berry Finn at 49. Daniel Defoe wrote he says, he completely freaked
Robinson Crusoe at 58. out. He didnt have a fully formed
The examples that Galenson could vision waiting to be emptied onto the
not get out of his head, however, were page. He began to collect articles
of Picasso and Czanne. Picasso was about things he was interested in, and

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T H E L AT E - B L O O M E R P H E N O M E N O N

before long, he realized that he had a the importance given to the word
fascination with Haiti. The Haiti file research, Picasso once said in an in-
just kept getting bigger, Fountain terview with the artist Marius de Zayas.
says. And I thought, OK, heres my In my opinion, to search means noth-
novel. After a couple of months, I ing in painting. To find is the thing.
thought, Yeah, youve got to go there, But late bloomers, Galenson says,
and so I went, in April or May of 91. tend to work the other way around.
He spoke little French, let alone Their approach is experimental.
Haitian Creole. He had never been Their goals are imprecise, so their
abroad. Nor did he know anyone who procedure is tentative and incremen-
lived there. Fountain was riveted by tal, Galenson writes in Old Masters
Haiti. Everything thats gone on in and Young Geniuses.
the past 500 yearscolonialism, race, An experimental innovator would
power, politics, ecological disasters go back to Haiti 30 times. Thats
its all there in very concentrated how that kind of mind figures out
form, he says. And also I just felt, vis- what it wants to do. When Czanne
cerally, pretty comfortable there. He was painting a portrait of the critic
made more trips to Haiti, sometimes Gustave Geffroy, he made him endure
for a week, sometimes for two weeks. 80 sittings, over three months, before
He made friends. He invited them to announcing the project a failure. He
visit him in Dallas. (You havent lived would paint a scene, then repaint it,
until youve had Haitians stay in your then paint it again. He was notorious
house, Fountain says.) for slashing his canvases to pieces in
In Brief Encounters with Che Gue- fits of frustration.
vara, four of the stories are about
Haiti, and they are the strongest in
the collection. After the novel was
done, I just felt like there was more
G alensons idea that creativity can
be divided into these types
conceptual and experimentalhas
for me, and I could keep going, keep a number of important implications.
going deeper there, Fountain recalls. For example, we sometimes think of
How many times have I been? At late bloomers as late starters. They
least 30. dont realize theyre good at some-
Prodigies like Picasso, Galenson thing until theyre 50, so of course
argues, rarely engage in that kind of they achieve late in life. But thats
open-ended exploration. They tend to not quite right. Czanne was painting
be conceptual, Galenson says, in the almost as early as Picasso was. We also
sense that they start with a clear idea of sometimes think of them as artists
where they want to go, and then they who are discovered late. In both cases,
execute it. I can hardly understand the assumption is that the prodigy

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 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

and the late bloomer are fundamen- 2002 bestseller Everything Is Illumi-
tally the same and that late blooming nated. Fountain is a graying man, slight
is simply genius under conditions of and modest. Foer is in his early 30s and
market failure. What Galensons argu- looks barely old enough to drink.
ment suggests is something else: that I came to writing really by the back
late bloomers bloom late because door, Foer said. My wife is a writer,
they simply arent much good until and she grew up keeping journals
late in their careers. you know, parents said, Lights out,
This is the vexing les- time for bed, and she
son of Fountains long had a little flashlight
attempt to get noticed Prodigies under the covers, read-
by the literary world. ing books. I dont think I
advertise their
On the road to great read a book until much
achievement, the late genius from the later than other people.
bloomer will resemble get-go. Late I just wasnt interested
a failure: While the late bloomers require in it.
bloomer is revising and
forbearance and Foer went to Prince-
changing course and ton and took a creative-
slashing canvases to blind faith. writing class in his
ribbons after months freshman year w ith
or years, what he or Joyce Carol Oates. It
she produces will look was, he explained, sort
like the kind of thing of on a whim, maybe
produced by the art- out of a sense that
ist who will never I should have a di-
bloom at all. verse course load.
Prodigies ad- Hed never written
vertise their genius a story before. Half-
from the get-go. Late way through the se-
bloomers require forbear- mester, I arrived to class
ance and blind faith. (Lets be early one day, and she said,
thankful that Czanne didnt have a Oh, Im glad I have this chance to talk
guidance counselor in high school to you. Im a fan of your writing. And
who looked at his primitive sketches it was a real revelation for me.
and told him to try accounting.) As a sophomore, he took another
creative-writing class. During the fol-

N ot long after meeting Ben Foun- lowing summer, he went to Europe. He

tain, I went to see the novelist wanted to find the village in Ukraine
Jonathan Safran Foer, author of the where his grandfather had come

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T H E L AT E - B L O O M E R P H E N O M E N O N

from. After the trip, he went to Prague. feeling you get when you read Brief
There he read Kafka, as any literary Encounters with Che Guevarathe
undergraduate would, and sat down sense of transport you experience
at his computer. when a work of literature draws you
I was just writing, he said. I didnt into its own world. Both are works
go with the intention of writing a book. of art. Its just that, as artists, Foun-
I wrote 300 pages in ten weeks. Id tain and Foer could not be less alike.
never done that. Fountain went to Haiti 30 times. Foer
It was a novel about went to the Ukrainian
a boy named Jonathan village just once.
Safran Foer who visits a Late bloomers
village in Ukraine called
Trachimbrod, where his
grandfather had come
stories are love
stories, and
B en Fountain did not
make the decision
to quit the law and be-
from. Those 300 pages this may be why come a writer all by
were the first draft of we have such himself. He is married
Everything Is Illumi-
difficulty with and has a family. He
natedthe exquisite met his wife, Sharon,
and extraordinary novel them. when they were both in
that established Foer as law school at Duke.
one of the most distinc- When he was doing real
tive literary voices of his estate work at Akin,
generation. He was 19 Gump, she was becom-
years old. ing a partner in the tax
Foer began to talk practice at Thompson
about the other way of & Knight. They got
writing books, where married in 1985 and
you honed your craft, had a son in April 1987.
over years and years. In 1989, they had a sec-
I couldnt do that, he ond child, a daughter.
said. He seemed puzzled by Fountain had become a
it. It was clear that he had no under- stay-at-home dad with a rigorous
standing of how being an experimental writing regimen.
innovator would work. I mean, imag- When Ben first did this, we talked
ine if the craft youre trying to learn is about, generally, When will we know
to be an original. How could you learn that it really isnt working? and Id
the craft of being an original? say, Well, give it ten years, Sharon
If you read Everything Is Illumi- recalls. It takes a while to decide
nated, you end up with the same whether you like something or not,

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 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

she says. And when ten years became might well have said no to her hus-
12 and then 14 and then 16, and the bands repeated trips to Haiti.
kids were off in high school, she But she believed in her husbands
stood by him because she was con- art, or perhaps, more simply, she be-
fident that he was getting better. She lieved in her husband, the same way
was fine with the trips to Haiti too. I Louis-Auguste must have believed in
cant imagine writing a novel about Czanne. Late bloomers stories are
a place you havent at least tried to invariably love stories, and this may
visit, she says. be why we have such difficulty with
Sharon was Bens wife. But she was them. Wed like to think that mundane
alsoto borrow a term from long matters like loyalty, steadfastness, and
agohis patron. If you are the type the willingness to keep writing checks
of creative mind who starts without to support what looks like failure have
a plan and has to experiment and nothing to do with something as rar-
learn by doing, you need someone efied as genius. But sometimes genius
to see you through the long and dif- is anything but rarefied; sometimes
ficult time it takes for your art to reach its just the thing that emerges after 20
its true level. Czanne, too, had an years of working at your kitchen table.
extraordinary list of patrons, which Sharon never once brought up
included his father, the banker Louis- money, not oncenever, Fountain
Auguste. says. She is sitting next to him, and
This is the final lesson of the late he looks at her in a way that makes it
bloomer: His or her success is highly plain that he understands how much
contingent on the efforts of others. of the credit for Brief Encounters
Louis-Auguste didnt have to support belongs to his wife. His eyes well with
Czanne all those years. He would tears. I never felt any pressure from
have been within his rights to make her, he says. Not even covert, not
his son get a real job, just as Sharon even implied.
WHAT THE DOG SAW, COPYRIGHT 2010 BY MALCOLM GLADWELL, IS PUBLISHED BY LITTLE, BROWN AND COMPANY;
LITTLEBROWN.COM.

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If someone you know would enjoy a gift subscription,
go to rd.com/save.

rd.com | 092014 | 119

CULTURE

Savvy entrepreneurs have always

sold people the same thing: dreams

Why
America
Loves a Con
Man
BY JA MES SU R OWI ECKI
FR OM T HE N EW YORKER

CON ARTISTS ARE GREEDY hucksters who sell us possibilities

that never come true. But Americans have a soft spot for them.
The phrase confidence man was popularized in an 1849 New York
Herald article detailing the arrest of William Thompson, a man of
genteel appearance who for months had been approaching
strangers on the street and somehow persuading them to trust
him with their watches until the next day. (Needless to say, they
never got the watches back.) Almost immediately, a play titled
The Confidence Man debuted; Thompson was soon bragging that
he was a great man in the eyes of the world. In the decades
that followed, the con artist became a classic American antihero.

120 | 092014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY SEAN MCCABE

 Robert Redford
and Paul Newman
in 1973s The Sting
WHY AMERICA LOVES A CON MAN

The curious thing, as the Univer- was fuzzy. Take the building of the
sity of Pennsylvania historian Walter American railroads, which both
McDougall writes, is that far from spurred industrialization and laid the
despising flimflam artists as parasites foundation for a truly national econ-
or worse, American popular culture omy. When the Central Pacific Railroad
habitually celebrates rascals as come- (the western spur of the transcontinen-
dic figures. Think of the movies of tal railroad) was built, the four men
W. C. Fields and the who started it, including
Marx Brothers; think Leland Stanford, set up
of The Sting and Dirty an outside construction
Rotten Scoundrels. Even Steve Jobss company in which they
bleaker depictions, like scripting were the sole sharehold-
David Mamets, get us
to admire the dexterity
and endless ers, and they used that
company to milk the
with which con artists rehearsals of Central Pacific for mil-
persuade people to part presentations lions of dollars in excess
with their money. are straight construction costs. The
It seems that con art- from the building of the Union
ists, for all their vices, Pacific Railroad led to
represent many of the
con artists the same kind of self-
virtues that Americans playbook. d e a l i ng a n d p o cke t
aspire to. Con artists lining and reckless over-
are independent and building, while railroad
typically self-made. They dont have financiers like Jay Gould made enor-
to kowtow to a bossno small thing mous sums via stock schemes and
in a country in which people have dubious takeovers. The result was one
always longed to strike out on their of the biggest cons the country has
own. They succeed or fail based on ever seen, with huge losses for inves- P REVIOUS PAGE: EVERETT COLLECTI ON

their wits. They exemplify, in short, tors and a fortune for the moguls. Still,
the complicated nature of American we ended up with a national transpor-
capitalism, which, as McDougall ar- tation system.
gues, has depended on people being In the 20th century, the relation-
hustlers in both the positive and the ship between commerce and con
negative sense. The American econ- artistry became subtler. Never mind
omy wasnt built just on good ideas the out-and-out scammers, from
and hard work. It was also built on Charles Ponzi to Bernard Madoff,
hope and hype. or the long history of questionable
In the 19th century especially, the behavior on Wall Street. Entrepre-
line between crook and businessman neurs have skills that are very much

122 | 092014 | rd.com

 R E A D E R S D I G E ST

like those of the con men. To raise often unlikely) futures is essential.
money to start a business, youve got The greatest business icon of our
to sell an imagined futurea dream. era, Steve Jobs, was legendary for his
Before building a single car, Henry reality-distortion field, which al-
Ford had to persuade his major sup- lowed him to convince people that
plier to take stock in lieu of cash improbable outcomes were not just
because he didnt have the money to possible but also certain. Jobss end-
pay for thousands of dollars worth less rehearsals for his public pre-
of parts. sentations and his scripting of every
As the sociologist Alex Preda writes, moment for maximum effectthese
Talent for persuasion is key: After are all straight from the con artists
all, the public must be convinced to playbook. So, too, is the sense of con-
part with their money on the basis of viction he projected. In Weinbergs
the simple promise that an idea will words, Before you sell a deal, you
yield profit in the future. Successful have to live the deal. You have to
entrepreneurship involves huckster- believe in it because if you dont be-
ism, the ability to convince investors lieve in it, you cant sell it.
and employees that they should risk Of course, the fundamental differ-
their money, their time, and their ence between entrepreneurs and con
effort on you. Like a con artist, youre artists is that con artists ultimately
peddling optimism. As Mel Wein- know that the fantasies theyre sell-
berg (the model for Christian Bales ing are lies. Steve Jobs, often enough,
character in American Hustle) put could make those fantasies come true.
it in Robert Greenes book The Sting Still, that unquantifiable mlange of
Man, Its my philosophy to give risk, hope, and hype provides both the
hope Thats why most people dont capitalists formula for transforming
turn us in to the cops. They keep hopin the world and the con artists strata-
were for real. gem for turning your money into his
In a dynamic economy, getting money. Maybe theres a reason we talk
people to wager on unknowable (and about the American Dream.
THE NEW YORKER (JANUARY 13, 2014), COPYRIGHT 2014 BY COND NAST. NEWYORKER.COM.

GIVE THE KID A BREAK

The World Wide Web is 25, which is why it can give
advice on beating any video game but had problems
making sense of health care for a little while.
@DANWILBUR

rd.com | 092014 | 123

NATIONAL INTEREST

Life is improving for most people on

this planet: Leading philanthropists deliver
good news about global poverty

Myths About
the Worlds
Poor
BY B I L L AND M E LINDA GATES
FR OM TH E G ATES FO U N DAT I O N 2 01 4 A N N UA L L E T T ER

BY ALMOST ANY MEASURE, the world is better off now than it has
ever been. Extreme poverty has been cut in half over the past 25 years,
child mortality rates are plunging around the globe, and many of the
countries that have long relied on foreign aid are now self-sufficient.
So why do so many people seem to think things are getting worse?
Much of the reason is because theyre in the grip of three deeply dam-
aging myths about global poverty and development. But the belief

124 | 092014 | rd.com

 Africa ascends:
Kids play at a
primary school in
Dakar, Senegal.

rd.com | 092014 | 125

THREE MYTHS ABOUT THE WORLDS POOR

that the world is getting worse isnt 50 years ago now includes more than
just mistakenits also detrimental. half of the worlds population.
It stalls progress and blinds us to the This holds true even in Africa. Since
opportunity we have to create a world 1998, income per person has climbed
where almost everyone has a chance by two thirdsfrom just over $1,300
to prosper. then to nearly $2,200 today. Seven
of the ten fastest-growing econo-

1 Doomed
Poor Countries Are
to Stay Poor
Incomes and other measures of wel-
mies from the past half decade are in
Africa.
We are optimistic enough that
fare are rising almost everywhere. Take were willing to make a prediction:
Mexico City. In 1987, when we first By 2035, there will be almost no poor
visited, most homes lacked running countries left in the world. Yes, a few
water, and we saw people trekking to countries will be held back by war,
fill up water jugs; it reminded us of political realities (such as North

P REVIOUS PAGE: FREDERI C COURBET/COURTESY BI LL & M ELI NDA GATES FOU NDATION
rural Africa. The guy who ran Micro- Korea), or geography (such as land-
softs Mexico City office would send locked states in central Africa). And
his kids back to the United States inequality will still be a problem. But
for checkups to make sure the smog every country in South America, Asia,
wasnt making them sick. and Central America (except perhaps
Today, the city is mind-blowingly Haiti)and most in coastal Africa
different, boasting high-rise build- will be middle-income nations. More
ings, cleaner air, and new roads and than 70 percent of countries will have
bridges. You still find pockets of pov- a higher per-person income than
erty, but when we visit, we think, China does today.
Wow, most people here are middle-
classwhat a miracle. You can see
a similar transformation in Nairobi,
New Delhi, Shanghai, and many other
2 Foreign Aid
Is a Waste
We worry about this myth. It gives
cities. In our lifetime, the global pic- leaders an excuse to cut back on aid
ture of poverty has been completely and that would mean fewer lives saved
redrawn. Since 1960, Chinas income and more time before countries can
per person has gone up eightfold. become self-sufficient. Foreign aid is
Indias has quadrupled, Brazils has a phenomenal investment. It doesnt
almost quintupled, and tiny Botswana, just save lives; it also lays the ground-
thanks to shrewd management of work for lasting, long-term progress.
its mineral resources, has seen a Many people think that foreign aid
30-fold increase. A new class of middle- is a large part of rich countries bud-
income nations that barely existed gets. When pollsters ask Americans

126 | 092014 | rd.com

  R E A D E R S D I G E ST

Melinda Gates meets women and children in Dedaur in central India, January 2013.
P RASHANT PANJ IAR/COURTESY BI LL & M ELI NDA GATES FOUN DATION

what share goes to aid, the most eliminate waste from every business
common response is 25 percent. In or government program. Many people
fact, it is less than 1 percent, or about call to end aid programs if one dol-
$30 billion a year. The U.S. govern- lar of corruption is found. However,
ment spends more than twice as four of the past seven governors of
much on farm subsidies as on interna- Illinois went to prison for corruption,
tional health aid; it spends more than and no one is demanding that the
60 times as much on the military. states schools or highways be closed.
One common complaint is that aid Critics also complain that aid keeps
gets wasted on corruption, and some countries dependent on outsiders
of it does. But the horror stories you generosity. But this argument focuses
hearwhere aid helped a dictator on the most difficult cases still strug-
build palacescome mostly from a gling for self-sufficiency. Here is a list
time when aid was designed to win of former recipients that have grown
Cold War allies rather than improve so much that they receive little aid
peoples lives. The problem today is today: Brazil, Mexico, Chile, Costa Rica,
much smaller. We should try to reduce Peru, Thailand, Mauritius, Botswana,
small-scale corruption, but we cant Morocco, Singapore, and Malaysia.
eliminate it, any more than we can Critics are right to say there is no

rd.com | 092014 | 127

THREE MYTHS ABOUT THE WORLDS POOR

definitive proof that aid drives eco- child mortality rates started going
nomic growth. But we know that it down. In the 1970s, after the govern-
drives improvements in health, ag- ment invested in a family-planning
riculture, and infrastructure, which program, birthrates started to drop.
correlate strongly with long-run Over two decades, Thai women went
growth. Look at what aid has accom- from having six children on average to
plished: A baby born in 1960 had an two. Today, child mortality rates there
18 percent chance of dying before her are almost as low as they are in Amer-
fifth birthday. For a child born today, ica, and Thai women have an average
it is less than 5 percent; in 2035, it will of 1.6 children.
be 1.6 percent. We cant think of any This pattern of falling death rates
other 75-year improvement in welfare followed by falling birthrates applies
that even comes close. for most of the world. Saving lives
doesnt lead to overpopulation

3 Saving Lives Leads to

Overpopulation
For more than two centuries, people
just the opposite. Creating societies
where people enjoy health, prosper-
ity, fundamental equality, and access
have worried about doomsday scenar- to contraceptives is the only way to a
ios in which food supply cant keep sustainable world.
up with population growth. But this More people, especially politi-
anxiety has a dangerous tendency to cal leaders, need to know about the
override concern for the humans who misconceptions behind these myths.
make up that population. Letting chil- Contributions to promote interna-
dren die now so they dont starve later tional health and development offer
isnt just heartlessit doesnt work. an astonishing return. We all have the
And countries with the highest death chance to create a world where ex-
rates are among the fastest-growing treme poverty is the exception rather
populations in the world: Women than the rule and where all children
there tend to have the most births. have the chance to thrive. For those
When more children survive, par- of us who believe in the value of ev-
ents decide to have smaller families. ery human life, there isnt any more
Consider Thailand. Around 1960, inspiring work under way today.
COPYRIGHT 2014 BY BILL AND MELINDA GATES. GATESFOUNDATION.ORG.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE CELL PHONE WEDDING?

The ceremony was fantastic, but the reception was terrible.

128 | 092014 | rd.com

 Laugh Lines
THERES AN OLD SAYING ...

I think the expression Its a

A penny saved is a penny small world is really a euphe-
that will sit around in a jar mism for I keep running into
for five years. people I cant stand.
@KEATINGTHOMAS BROCK COHEN

If you cant beat them, arrange Dont cry over spilled milk.
to have them beaten. By this time tomorrow, itll
GEORGE CARLIN be free yogurt.
STEPHEN COLBERT

A watched pot never boils,

but it does get paranoid.
LESLEY WAKE

If truth is beauty, how

come no one has their
hair done in a library?
ANDREW RICH/GETTY I MAGES

LILY TOMLIN

Where theres a will,

theres a relative.
RICKY GERVAIS

rd.com | 092014 | 129

 WHO KNEW

13 Things
Homeschoolers
Wont
Tell You
BY MI C HE L L E C R O U C H

1 Yes, the largest subset

of us is Christian. But
weve also got plenty of
granola-crunching hippie
types; growing numbers of
Jewish, Latino, and military
families; and parents who dont
like what their local schools have
to offer. So ditch the stereotypes.

2 In some states, you need a high

school diploma to teach your
children at home, your curriculum
3 Unfortunately, there are
homeschooling parents who
arent teaching their kids. Some
must be approved, and you have to grown homeschooled children
test your kids regularly. In others, have spoken out about educational
you dont even have to notify anyone neglect. One Virginia teenager
that youre homeschooling. said that at age 16, he didnt

130 | 092014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY SERGE BLOCH

know South Africa was a country
and couldnt solve basic algebra
problems.
9 Public school systems get
less money if they have a high
number of homeschoolers, so a
growing number of districts are

4 Our kids arent unsocialized

outcasts who never leave home.
Most of us spend at least several
recruiting us to enroll in certain
classes, borrow materials, and use
school services. The reason behind it
days a week out of the house with all: They want to get back a portion
shock!other people. We coordinate of that lost per-pupil funding.
proms, classes, sports teams, choirs,
and clubs with other homeschooled
children in the area. 10 Educating your own child can
be a burden. Every day I worry
that Im not good enough.

5 Luckily, were not on the hook

to teach our children everything.
Many of us use online classes, hire 11 I may forget what grade my
children are supposed to be in.
tutors, or send our kids to co-ops With homeschooling, if theyre doing
to be taught by former teachers. great at math, they can be several
grades ahead. And if theyre strug-

6 Our firstborn almost always get

a better education than our
gling in a subject, they fall behind.

younger kids. Why? The truth is that

some of us have trouble keeping up
with everything.
12 Why do public school parents
always ask about socialization?
Sitting quietly at a desk all day does
not seem very social to me.

7 Some homeschoolers have formal

lesson plans, report cards, and
even a bell to start the school day. 13 The best part about home-
schooling? I get to spend time
On the opposite end of the spectrum: with my kids and be there for the
unschoolers. They have no curriculum a-ha moments when they learn
and no textbooks unless the child something for the first time.
asks to use them.
Sources: Homeschooling mothers Nancy Carter of

8
Mashantucket, Connecticut; Dena Dyer of Granbury,
Texas; Kris Bales of Ringgold, Georgia, who blogs at
Were having more fun than you. weirdunsocializedhomeschoolers.com; Heather Bowen
of Lumberton, North Carolina, who blogs at frugalhome
On a school day, well make schoolfamily.com; Julie Anne Smith of Richland, Washington,
cookies to practice fractions and visit who blogs at spiritualsoundingboard.com; and Laura
Huber, author of The ABCs of Homeschooling; former
a museum to learn about history. homeschooling mother Vyckie Garrison; Richard Medlin,
PhD, psychologist at Stetson University in DeLand, Florida;
And we still have time for field trips, Milton Gaither, PhD, professor of education at Messiah
College in Grantham, Pennsylvania, and author of
some of them to other countries. Homeschool: An American History

rd.com | 092014 | 131

WHO KNEW?

When Scientists
Experiment on
Themselves
BY R E G I N A N U ZZO

METHODICAL MINDS apparently share a compulsive need to discover

the truthpersonal comfort be damned. When Sir Isaac Newton had a theory
about how the eye perceives color, he tested it by sticking a darning needle
into the back of his eye socket and poking around until he saw colored circles.
German Nobel Prize winner Werner Forssmann performed the first cardiac
catheterization surgeryon himself. Here, the wacky self-experiments of six
modern researchers and how their findings might change our medical care.

Stomachful of Bacteria Today, ulcers are routinely treated

As a young doctor in Australia in the with antibiotics, and in 2005, Marshall
1980s, Barry Marshall was convinced shared the Nobel Prize in Physiology
that stomach ulcers were caused not or Medicine for his work.
by stress or spicy food but by bacteria.
To prove his point to the skeptical Flea Infestation in the Foot
medical establishment, Marshall When German PhD student Marlene
gulped down a cup of cloudy broth Thielecke was in Madagascar, she
teeming with Helicobacter pylori noticed that a sand flea had burrowed
bacteria. Within a week, he was into the bottom of her foot. She
vomiting daily. Tests showed that his decided to leave it there to document
stomach lining was inflamed, which its growth with photos and videos.
indicated an ulcer could be develop- Researchers were puzzled over how
ing. After a round of antibiotics (his these parasites, known as chiggers,
wife insisted he stop the experiment reproduce. Usually female chiggers
early), the infection disappeared. release fertile eggs after they burrow

132 | 092014 | rd.com

 into a persons skin, but Thielecke the effectiveness of using worms as
noticed that her chigger, always immune-system therapy. Researchers
covered by shoesunlike the custom around the world are studying para-
of the barefoot localsnever released sitic worms to treat multiple sclerosis,
eggs. Thieleckes adventurous spirit psoriasis, celiac disease, and autism.
solved the puzzle: Footwear disrupts
the chigger mating processknowl- Billions of Body
edge that could help those infected Measurements
forestall complications. Geneticist Michael Snyder had a big
dream: to prove the power of person-
Skin-Crawling Worms alized medicine. It was controversial,
In 2004, Britains national bioethics both ethically and technically, and
committee was less than thrilled too daunting for a typical volunteer.
with immunologist David Pritchards So for more than four years, Snyder
plans for an asthma therapy. Thats
because it involved applying a
bandage teeming with hookworm
larvae. So Pritchard tried it on
himself. As the tiny infant
worms burrowed into his
arm and entered his
bloodstream, they caused
excruciating itching. But
the hope was that they
would also turn down
the volume of patients
immune sys-
tems, easing
symptoms. By
showing the
JOSE JUAN GARCIA /GETTY I MAGES

treatment was
safe, Pritchards
research opened
the door to
getting permis-
sion to study
it further.
Current trials
are testing
W H E N S C I E N T I S T S E X P E R I M E N T O N T H E M S E LV E S

and his Stanford team have taken develop immunity without falling ill.
billions of measurements on Snyders The first wave of trials showed that
own body. Theyve analyzed everything an injectable, bite-free version of the
in his blood as well as his saliva, vaccine completely protected volun-
mucus, urine, and feces. Theyve teers against malaria. The vaccine is
sequenced his entire genome and now going through final tests in the
continue to take regular snapshots of United States, Europe, and Africa.
his DNA activity. Snyder was surprised
to learn of a genetic predisposition to Computer Virus
type 2 diabetesno one in his family In the Hand
had the disease. But after he contracted Are medical devices we put inside
a cold virus, he watched in shock as our bodies vulnerable to hackers?
his blood sugar climbed so high that What would happen if a terrorist
he developed a full-blown case of wrote a virus program that could
diabetes. Snyder believes that his stop all heart pacemakers? To find
genes predisposed him, but the out, British engineer Mark Gasson
viral infection triggered ita link implanted into his hand a tiny radio
that researchers continue to study. frequency identification chip, not
unlike the electronic tags used to
Feast for Malarial track pets. Then he infected the chip
Mosquitoes with a computer virus. Sure enough,
It took a bold move for researcher his chip not only contaminated its
Stephen Hoffman to develop immu- parent computer system but also
nity to malaria, which kills at least tried to spread its virus to other chips
half a million people worldwide every connected to the system. In other
year. He let a batch of 3,000 malarial words, our implanted devices might
mosquitoes feast on his arm. But indeed be vulnerable. Although
the mosquitoes had been bathed in Gasson was not in any physical
radiation, which weakened the para- danger, in a real-life scenario,
site that causes malaria (just like the a heart patient could have been.
polio vaccine carries a weakened His work paves the way to make
form of the virus), enabling him to medical devices safer for everyone.

A BETTER WEB
Netix should add a feature where your wife never goes out of
town and makes you wait to watch the shows.
@ALEXBLAGG

134 | 092014 | rd.com

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WHO KNEW?

This quiz developed by Mensa is a fun

way to put your IQ through its paces

Could You
Be a Genius?
BY A BBI E F. SA L N Y F R O M A M E R I C A N M E N SA

1. What is the 4-digit number in which

the first digit is one fifth of the last,
and the second and third digits are the
last digit multiplied by 3? (Hint: The
sum of all digits is 12.)

2. Jane went to visit Jill. Jill is Janes

only husbands mother-in-laws only
husbands only daughters only daugh-
ter. What relation is Jill to Jane?

3. Tabitha likes cookies but not cake.

She likes mutton but not lamb,
and she likes okra but not squash.
Following the same rule, will she
like cherries or pears?

4. In a footrace, Jerry was neither first

nor last. Janet beat Jerry. Jerry beat
Pat. Charlie was neither first nor last.
Charlie beat Rachel. Pat beat Charlie.
Who came in last?

136 | 092014 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPHS BY RALPH SMITH

 5. What is the number that is one
more than one tenth of one fifth of
one half of 4,000?

6. Find the number that best completes

the following sequence.
1 2 4 7 11 ? 22

7. Marian bought 4 oranges and 3 lemons

for 90 cents. The next day, she bought
3 oranges and 4 lemons for 85 cents. How
much did each lemon and orange cost?

8. Start with the number of total mittens

lost by 3 kittens, and multiply by the
voting age in the United States. Whats
the answer?

9. There is at least one 9-letter word

that contains only 1 vowel. Do you know
what it is?

10. Using all the letters each time, can

you make at least 3 words from the
letters REIAMN?
P ROP STYLIST: SARAH GUIDO FOR HALLEY RES OURCES

Abbie F. Salny was the supervisory psychologist for American Mensa and Mensa
International for more than 25 years. Find out more about this organization for
knowledge seekers at americanmensa.org.
@ 4 mittens each = 12 x 18); 9. Strengths; 10. AIRMEN, MARINE, and REMAIN.
the preceding number); 7. Oranges cost 15 cents each; lemons cost 10 cents each; 8. 216 (3 kittens
2,000, / 5 = 400, / 10 = 40, + 1 = 41); 6. 16 (each number adds 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6, respectively, to
her daughter); 3. Cherries (Tabitha likes food with only two syllables); 4. Rachel; 5. 41 (4,000 / 2 =
1. 1,155; 2. Janes daughter (Janes mothers husband is Janes father, his daughter is Jane, and Jill is
ANSWERS

SCORING: Count the number of correct answers.

9 to 10: You are ready for the official Mensa Admission Test!
7 to 8: There is a good chance you qualify for Mensa.
5 to 6: Not badyou might make Mensa.
Below 5: You must have had a bad day.

rd.com | 092014 | 137

WHO KNEW?

The Dumbest
Thing I Ever Did
ITS COMFORTING to know that even the best and brightest among
us screw up. So we asked men and women at the tops of their fields
inventors, authors, athletes, entrepreneurs, academics, and moreto share
their boneheaded mistakes.

Lectured the Dalai Lama Ive ever saidtelling the Dalai Lama
DEAN ORNISH is president of the Pre- how to be more compassionate!
ventive Medicine Research Institute. And then he smiled and laughed
I had the honor of meeting His heartily and compassionatelythe
Holiness the Dalai Lama about 20 beautiful sounds that Jim Henson
years ago when he was staying with likely sampled for Yodas laughter
my close friends. He was interested in Star Wars.
in our research showing that a whole
foods plant-based diet could help Was a Video Game Victim
reverse certain chronic diseases. CHRISTIAN RUDDER is the cofounder
He said, I eat meat sometimes. I of the matchmaking site OkCupid
tried eating a vegetarian diet once, but and author of Dataclysm.
it didnt agree with my gallbladder. Many years ago at an arcade in
I replied, It must have been a Spring, Texas, I spent two hours in
high-fat vegetarian diet. What were front of Time Pilot without actually
you eating? playing the game. I was eight and
Mostly yak cheese and yak butter. didnt understand that my quarter
You could try a lower-fat plant- had run out. And so while the game
based diet. It is the most compassion- just ran itself in the same long loop,
ate way to eat. I mashed the buttons and pushed
As I said this, I immediately the joystick, thinking I was the
thought, That has to be the most master time-fighter. Only when a
ridiculous and presumptuous thing couple of older kids looked at me

138 | 092014 | rd.com

like I was an idiot did I realize I was, a bathroom. I ended up missing
in fact, an idiot. The pity of teenagers the event. I mean, it was one or the
will wake anyone from any dream. other, right? If I win, then I gotta
hang around and get my medal. I
Had a Fig Newton Fiasco couldnt risk it. Incredible. I couldnt
APOLO OHNO won Olympic gold have just one Fig Newton. I had to
in 2002 and 2006 in short-track have the whole damn sleeve.
speed skating. An equally stupid moment came
I blame a fellow skater. He always during a race in Calgary. With two
ate Fig Newtons the night before laps to go and a huge lead, I stood up.
his race, and I was like, Thats such I wasnt celebrating; I was just so far
a good idea. I love Fig Newtons ahead that I began cruising. And then
theyre delicious! Ill eat some of the crowd began cheering loudly.
those! Well, And I wondered, Why are they cheer-
I ate a whole ing so loudly? Then I found out why.
sleeve right A Dutch skater was on my outside. I
before a race. hadnt seen him. He caught up, stuck
Here I am his foot out, and beat me by 3/100ths
wearing this of a second. I felt like such a jerk.
ridiculous
formfitting My Sleep-Deprived Spell
outfit with ten ARIANNA HUFFINGTON is the editor
minutes before in chief of huffingtonpost.com
my racerunning and author of Thrive.
around trying to find For much of my career, I operated
under the delusion that
burning out was the nec-
essary price for achieving
success. This led to my
painful wake-up call. It
was April 2007, and Id
just returned home from
a college tour
with my daughter.
We had agreed
that there would
be no checking
of my Blackberry
during the days,

ILLUSTRATION BY ZOHAR LAZA R rd.com | 092014 | 139

WHO KNEW?

which meant staying up very late at went to collect the rent the first time,
night catching up on work. The next it turned out the tenants didnt have
morning, I collapsed from exhaus- any money. In fact, they hadnt paid
tion and hit my head on the way rent in years. Lesson learned
down, cutting my eye and breaking Check the rent receipts!
my cheekbone. I wish I could go
back and tell my dumb, deluded self, Some Trouble with Math
in my thick Greek accent, Arianna, LAURENCE TRIBE is a professor
your performance will actually im- of constitutional law at Harvard
prove if you can commit not only to and coauthor of Uncertain Justice.
working hard but also to unplugging, The task for our tenth-grade physics
recharging, and renewing yourself. exam was to figure out the total
That would have saved me a lot area of contact between the rubber
of unnecessary stress and a lot of and the road of a hypothetical bike
unnecessary damage to my health. racing down a steep hill. The next
day, our teacher held my paper up
Call Me All Thumbs as an example in front of the class.
GEORGE SAUNDERS is the author He explained that while I did all the
of Congratulations, By the Way: calculations correctly, Id made one
Some Thoughts on Kindness. blunder: Id mistakenly multiplied
Ive never done anything dumb in everything by two because, as Id
my life, except nail-gunning myself written, all bicycles have four
in the palm that one time. identical wheels.

My Money Mishap A Quick-Trigger Finger

BARBARA CORCORAN is a real FRANCIS S. COLLINS is the director
estate mogul and costar of ABCs of the National Institutes of Health.
Shark Tank. When I was single, I received an
My worst real estate investment invitation from a colleague to speak
was my first, a 12-unit motel with at a winter meeting in Florida. I
eight regular tenants. It was a dump, forwarded the message to my sweet-
owned by a guy whod inherited it heartmy future wifeand included
from his dadthe owner of a local a steamy note about how awesome
manure business. I grabbed the place it would be to have some private
for the full $220,000 asking price, beach time with her. I discovered
knowing I could make a neat 10 per- later that I had actually hit the Reply
cent return on my money every year button, when my colleague e-mailed
from the rent. But then came the back to thank me for the kind offer
surprise: When my then-husband but explained I wasnt his type.

140 | 092014 | rd.com

 FACES
OF AMERICA

BY G L EN N G L ASS E R

Jonathan Rasouli, MD
N E W YO R K , N E W YO R K

Ill be a third-year resident in

neurosurgery at Mount Sinai.
I also play guitarheavy metal.
My heroes? Number one: my
dad. He came here from Iran
right before the revolution and
pulled himself up by his boot-
straps. Number two: President
Obama. I appreciate someone
who is able to overcome a lot
of odds without losing touch.
Number three: Arnold Schwar-
zenegger. I love his movies!

142 | 092014 | rd.com

 IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR

Word Power
Are you smarter than a 12th grader? Weve been saving up these wordsfrom
the Princeton Reviews Word Smart: Genius Edition test-prep guidefor our
most confident quiz takers. Turn the page for answers.
BY EM ILY COX & H E NRY RATH VO N

1. umbrage ('um-brij) n. 9. sangfroid ('sahn-fwah) n.

A: resentment. B: bright sunshine. A: snooty attitude. B: coolness under
C: utter confusion. pressure. C: French chef.
2. sobriquet ('soh-brih-kay) n. 10. redoubtable (rih-'dau-te-bul)
A: nickname. B: tight bandage. adj.A: open to debate. B: famous.
C: barbecue coal. C: formidable.
3. feckless ('fek-les) adj. 11. imprecate ('im-prih-kayt) v.
A: bold and daring. B: of clear A: accuse. B: curse. C: pester or
complexion. C: weak and ineffective. distract.
4. bailiwick ('bay-lih-wik) n. 12. modicum ('mah-dih-kum) n.
A: special domain. B: holiday candle. A: small portion. B: middle path.
C: dugout canoe. C: daily dosage.
5. onus ('oh-nus) n. 13. somnambulist (sahm-'nam-
A: proof of residency or status. byeh-list) n.A: sleepwalker.
B: burden. C: unique entity. B: hypnotizer. C: historian.
6. ductile ('duk-tuhl) adj. 14. restive ('res-tiv) adj.
A: of plumbing. B: easily shaped A: comfortable. B: left over.
or influenced. C: hard to locate C: fidgety.
or define.
15. anomie ('a-neh-mee) n.
7. troglodyte ('trah-glih-diyt) n. A: arch foe. B: mutual attraction.
A: cave dweller or reclusive person. C: social instability.
B: bird of prey. C: know-it-all.
8. paean ('pee-in) n.
A: fervent prayer. B: lowly worker.
To play an interactive version of
Word Power on your iPad or Kindle Fire,
C: song of praise. download the Readers Digest app.

rd.com | 092014 | 143

WORD POWER

Answers
1. umbrage[A] resentment. Why 9. sangfroid[B] coolness under
did your team take such umbrage at pressure. With unrelenting sangfroid,
being called the underdogs? Andrea remained a pro at the poker
table despite the high stakes.
2. sobriquet[A] nickname. Say,
Paul, how did you get the sobriquet 10. redoubtable[C] formidable.
Grumpy? The pitcher shuddered as the
redoubtable Albert Pujols strode
3. feckless[C] weak and ineffec-
to the plate.
tive. In formal debate, Oh, yeah? is
a rather feckless rebuttal. 11. imprecate[B] curse. Before
being banished, the witch ominously
4. bailiwick[A] special domain.
threatened to imprecate the town for
Ask me anything about grammar,
five generations.
the curmudgeonly copy editor said.
Thats my bailiwick. 12. modicum[A] small portion.
All I ask is a modicum of cooperation
5. onus[B] burden. The onus,
with the housework.
Mr. Peterson barked, is on your boys
to fix my broken window. 13. somnambulist[A] sleepwalker.
For a somnambulist, Lady Macbeth
6. ductile[B] easily shaped
is rather talkative.
or influenced. Decisive? No. Taras
opinions are sometimes as ductile 14. restive[C] fidgety. Peter got
as Play-Doh. so restive during
the SAT, he chewed
7. troglodyte
A STROKE OF his pencil almost
[A] cave dweller
Genius originally meant to the lead.
or reclusive person.
I wouldnt go so guardian spirit, from the 15. anomie[C]
far as to call Jerry Latin gignere (to beget, social instability.
to produce), and dates
a troglodyte, but Apparently theres
back to at least 1393. Its
hes definitely on related to the words genus, too much anomie
the shy side. gender, generation, and in Congress for the
even kinall suggestive of bill to be passed.
8. paean[C] song
birth. The modern meaning,
of praise. Let us
of a person endowed with VOCABULARY
raise a toast and a natural ability or talent, RATINGS
a rousing paean comes from Miltons 9 & below: Neophyte
to Jay and Cathys Iconoclastes (1649). 1012: Apprentice
wedding! 1315: Mastermind

144 | 092014 | rd.com

 Can a protein originally
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 IN CASE YOU MISSED IT ON

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146 | 092014 | rd.com

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 Humor in Uniform

How long has it been upside down?

ITS IMPORTANT that soldiers Do not attempt to shave with fire.

learn from their mistakes; otherwise, Do not use 27 packs of sticky notes
theyre bound to repeat them at to label everything in the barracks
inopportune moments. Here soldiers so the general wont have any ques-
share what theyve gleaned from tions during the inspection.
past gaffes: From skippyslist.com

I was cold is not a sufficient

reason for being caught in the female IM CONVINCED my cockroaches
barracks. have military training. I set out a
Do not communicate with officers roach bombthey defused it.
using only Madonna lyrics. C o m e d i a n JAY LONDON
Do not conduct live fire exercises
at the generals (unattended) jeep, Dont make the mistake of not sending us
even if its parked in an area clearly a funny military anecdote. It may be
marked Live Fire Zone. worth $$$! See page 7 or rd.com/submit.

148 | 092014 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY MICHAEL MCPARLANE

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 FACES
OF AMERICA

BY G L EN N G L ASS E R

Mike Hopkins
HOUSTON, TEXAS

Ive been to the International Space

Station (ISS) once, for 166 days.
Space has a smell to it. I dont know
how to describe itan ionized,
metallic-type smell thats unique.
When we first opened the hatch
of the ISS, I commented on the
scent, and the folks I was with said,
Oh yeah, thats the smell of space.
No one told me about that.

150 | 092014 | rd.com

 Liz Vaccariello VP, Editor-in-Chief | Chief Content Officer
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 Quotable Quotes
FAITH IS TAKING THE FIRST When someone
shows you who
STEP, EVEN WHEN YOU they are,
DONT SEE THE WHOLE believe them
the first time.
STAIRCASE. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. M AYA A N G E LO U

The fundamental cause of trouble is that

the stupid are cocksure, while the intelligent
are full of doubt. B E R TR A N D R U S S E LL , p h i l o s o p h e r

FROM TOP: GETTY IM AGES. A DAM BERRY/GETTY I MAGES . BETTM ANN/CORBIS

Living in freedom It doesnt interest me what
and defending
freedom are two you do for a living. I want
sides of one and
the same coin. to know what you ache for.
ANGELA MERKEL O R IA H M O U NTAI N D R E A M E R , p o e t

Cynicism
masquerades as
THERE IS NO
wisdom, but it is TERROR IN THE
the farthest BANG, ONLY IN
thing from it. THE ANTICIPATION
S TE P H E N
CO LB E R T OF IT. A LF R E D H ITC H CO C K

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