Dialysis Without Fear PDF
Dialysis Without Fear PDF
Dialysis Without Fear PDF
without
Fe a r
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Dialysis
without
Fe a r
A Guide to Living Well on Dialysis
for Patients and Their Families
1
2007
1
Oxford University Press, Inc., publishes works that further
Oxford Universitys objective of excellence
in research, scholarship, and education.
With ofces in
Argentina Austria Brazil Chile Czech Republic France Greece
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South Korea Switzerland Thailand Turkey Ukraine Vietnam
1 3 5 7 9 8 6 4 2
Printed in the United States of America
on acid-free paper
To all those brave souls who deal with dialysis
Preface ix
Acknowledgments xiii
Afterword 228
Notes 245
Bibliography 247
Index 251
Preface
from cover to cover. And in doing so, our learning curve associated
with adapting to dialysis would have been less steep and our initia-
tion to this new world would have been less daunting. Alas, there
was no such book, or at least none that we could nd.
Today we are proud to have written such a book; however, our per-
spectives are not the only ones you will hear. Before putting pen to
paper, we met and spoke with numerous dialysis patients and medical
professionals who weighed in about what it means to live well on
dialysis and about which persons do so and how. We relied on med-
ical professionals to refer fellow patients to us. We asked doctors,
nurses, and social workers to introduce us to folks who were in their
eyes living well on dialysis. We granted anonymity to each person
we metpatient or otherwisein hopes that he or she would feel
comfortable sharing intimate details and true opinions. For this rea-
son, names, places, and other information about the identity of the
individuals described in these pages have been altered. But other than
that, the stories are quite real and so are the people telling them.
As you will see, this promise of anonymity worked. The people
we spoke with did not pull punches; they did not attempt to stie
their opinions. Our intent was not to sugarcoat dialysis, so we in-
cluded many of the honest-to-goodness opinions that we gathered,
even the most negative. At the same time, we shared what we heard
many others say, which was often very hopeful. Ultimately, the
opinions throughout the book should be taken seriouslybut re-
member, they are opinions. Much of dialysis is about choices, and
once a patient chooses to follow a specic course of treatment, his or
her healthy emotional response is to advocate the path chosen
wholeheartedly. In other words, at times, you may need to take some
of the very strongest of opinions that advocate this or that path with
a grain of salt and to understand them in the context of a given per-
sons particular situation.
Another point to bear in mind while reading this book: it has
been written for adults dealing with dialysis. We felt that pediatric
xii Preface
his book was a collaborative effort. Wed like to thank all the
T people who contributed. Thank you to Polly Jacobson, M.D.,
and James Jacobson, M.D., for encouraging us to write this book.
Our gratitude also extends to Barbara Burgess for helping us to craft
our message, to Ivan Dee for his guidance on navigating the world of
publishing, and to Mariclaire Cloutier for opening the right doors.
Wed also like to thank several members of the National Kidney
Foundation of Illinois who shared with us their expertise, including
Willa Lang, Dorothy Zecca, Nancy Lepain, Kimberly Fowler, Carole
K. Love, and Kate OConner. We appreciate the time we spent talk-
ing to Domeena C. Renshaw, M.D., regarding sexuality and chronic
illness. Thanks to Frederic L. Coe, M.D. and Craig B. Langman,
M.D. for their ongoing assistance. We extend our gratitude to Sandra
Downey for her help in preparing the manuscript. Thank you to
Carolyn Brooks for reading and critiquing the book and to Kristi
Robinson for connecting us with many of the individuals we inter-
viewed. We owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to these anonymous
individuals who spoke to us candidly about dialysis and their life ex-
periences. Thank you to the many nephrologists, nurses, technicians,
social workers, dieticians, family members, and especially patients.
We could not have written this book without you.
On a more personal note, many thanks go to Ariel Szar for read-
ing and rereading this book in his second language. Thank you to Lisa
Nguyen for keeping the Szar family aoat. Thank you to the Shabbat
group, the Fuqua women, and especially the two Virginia gals, for
xiv Acknowledgments
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One
Dialysis Misperceptions
versus Realities
also briey dened in the books glossary. For now, we simply want to
introduce you to the overall experience of dialysisthe questions, the
challenges, the adjustmentsthat some veterans of the treatment
have encountered and successfully mastered.
Entering the dialysis clinic, Susan asks to speak with Donna and is
directed to a heavyset African American woman seated at the end of
the rst row of chairs. Despite the tubes full of blood owing from
her left arm, Donna greets Susan with a twinkle in her eye and a
warm smile. Susan quickly learns that Donna is fty-six years old
and has been on hemodialysis for almost four years. Diagnosed at
age twenty-two with diabetes, Donnas reliance on dialysis some
thirty years later is attributed to this disease, which runs in her fam-
ily. Over those thirty years she heard the word dialysis but didnt
know exactly what it was, and she says, I really didnt expect it to
happen to me. Even when she was entered into an experimental
drug study that tracked the increasing failure of her kidneys over
three years, she recalls she still didnt take it seriously. I didnt know
what dialysis was or what kidney failure was.
Eventually her primary care doctor referred her to a nephrologist
who broke the news to her; her kidneys were failing. She saw the
kidney specialist quite a few times before going on dialysis. The doc-
tor continuously tested her blood and waited for the chemical indi-
cators of kidney failure to elevate to the point that she was eligible
for the treatment. During this time the nephrologist gave her educa-
tional videos to watch, which she did, but according to Donna, It
still took being here and sitting in this chair for me to nally under-
stand what was going on.
Donna describes her initiation to dialysis as a difcult one. When
I rst started dialysis I felt restricted of course. I felt like I was going
Dialysis Misperceptions versus Realities 5
patients there were not treated with the dignity and respect they de-
served. She felt it was up to her to improve her situation, and so not
only did she change to a new clinic, but she also became an active par-
ticipant on its patient advocacy committee.
Are there any tricks youve learned that help you manage your diet
and your liquid intake?
I battle with that every day ! I like to be happy. The liquid restric-
tion is the hardest part. Im always a little thirsty. Plus I like instant
gratication, so if Im thirsty I like to drink! But if I drink a lot, of
course, I have a worse dialysis session. When you put on too much
liquid, they set the machine to take off more liquid more quickly.
Your blood pressure can drop and you can suffer from cramping.
This is not pleasant at all; you feel awful. It is best not to do it. I
would advise anybody, try your very best not to drink too much !
Do you do anything in your routine that makes dialysis easier?
First of all, I like to come when the soap operas are on. That makes
dialysis go faster for me. Nextand now you are going to laugh at me
when I tell you thisI lead a double life. When I leave dialysis I try my
best to forget about it. I try very hard not to talk about dialysis or even
think about it on the days when Im not here. Another thing I do is
bring along this doggone blanket. It gets cold in here! One more thing
that helps with dialysis is building a sense of community at the clinic.
Ive made an effort. You see these people so many hours every week.
Forming relationships with the people here makes it easier to get
through this thing. Dialysis seems to be more pleasant too if you know
where you are going to be sitting every day and if you get to know your
neighbors. That way you have someone to talk to, or borrow money
from for lunch or even rely on if something with your treatment is not
quite right. If that happens you can tell a neighbor, and they can help
get the technician.
What do you do when you arent at dialysis?
Im not one to do a lot of things recreationally. Most activities
cost money, and Ive never had a lot of that. Basically I go to church.
8 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
Watching his blood being sucked out of his body and not under-
standing where it was going or what the machine was doing with it,
Jim felt lifeless, helpless, lost. He couldnt imagine that a life de-
pendent on a machine was worth living. It sounds quite bleak. But
the important take-away message is that Jim had very little informa-
tion about dialysis. All he had were the sights and sounds of that rst
treatment. Other than that he was really very much in the dark. The
good news is that you dont have to be. The more you know the
more you will be able to approach dialysis for what it is: a life-saver,
not a life-ender.
Another patient told us that the rst doctor who explained dialy-
sis to him described it as being attached to a machine for the rest of
your life. Again this patient thought in literal terms, and for him
this was a terrifying statement. The idea of literally lugging around a
machine day and night can depress the hell out of even the most op-
timistic of individuals.
If someone just told us straight up what dialysis is all about,
maybe then it wouldnt be so frightening, confusing, or overwhelm-
ing. So lets turn the tables on the most common misperceptions and
tell it like it is. You might be surprised to hear a realistic depiction of
what life on dialysis is really like.
Reality #1: Your life is not over. You are simply beginning a new chapter.
In this age of politically correct terms, it is astonishing that end
stage is still prevalently being used to describe denitive kidney failure.
Dialysis Misperceptions versus Realities 13
In our interviews with many renal health care professionals and pa-
tients, we asked if they felt that end stage was an accurate term for the
disease. What we often heard back was Absolutely not! Most went on
to emphatically say that kidney failure and dialysis are not death sen-
tences. This is really, really important so in case you are skimming this
book we are going to say it again: Kidney failure and dialysis are not
death sentences! If you are brand new to dialysis this should be your
mantra for the rst six months. You should also remind yourself re-
peatedly that no one has died and especially not you. In fact, whether
you believe it or not, dialysis is providing you with a new lease on life.
How you use this new lease is in a large part going to be up to you.
The dialysis patients we interviewed prior to writing this book
worked, studied, bore children, raised children, traveled, volunteered,
loved, and lived all the while undergoing hemodialysis three times a
week or peritoneal dialysis daily. When asked what they would tell
patients new to dialysis, several said, Id tell them that it is going to
be OK. Or as one patient whod lived for years via transplant and
dialysis so eloquently put it, You can be greater than your illness.
You can live with this. It is not the death sentence that it was years
ago. And as technology improves your life can get better.
Now that weve acknowledged that the term End Stage Renal
Disease is a misperception waiting to happen, what to do about
it? Labels and names can have a powerful inuence on our self-
perceptions. In fact, we think its time to do away with end stage.
Instead, for the purpose of this book and for your mental well-being,
we choose to call it nonfunctioning kidney disease. We nd this to
be a much more appropriate title, because as the patients we met
would tell you, and as their stories throughout this book will show
you, you can live a full and wonderful life without the use of your
kidneys.
True. Your life will change. Signicantly. Many patients and med-
ical professionals have likened dialysis to a second joba very im-
portant job that you must take incredibly seriously and always show
14 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
his family, friends, work, and play. When you put it in those terms,
the six days a week made possible by dialysis, as opposed to the zero
days that would result without treatment, are a fairly good deal.
Of course, every individual is different and Daniel is just one ex-
ample of someone living with dialysis. There are individuals who
are battling extremely debilitating chronic illnesses or who have sig-
nicant difculties with tolerating the permanent accesses for he-
modialysis, also known as stulas or grafts, or who continuously fall
ill with infections from peritoneal dialysis. We dont want to mini-
mize the seriousness of their trials. Unlike them, Daniel is compar-
atively healthy. His veins are able to accommodate a permanent
access and he tolerates hemodialysis well. Aside from his lack of kid-
ney function, he is relatively illness free. If luck is on your side and
the complications you face are minimal, your experience might not
be entirely different from his. Of the patients who do well on dialy-
sis, they will all tell you that keeping busy and having other interests
outside of dialysisfriends, family, work, or hobbiesis the key to
their success.
And what about the idea that you will be attached to a machine the
rest of your life? Well, depending on the form of treatment that you
and your doctors select, you will be attached to a machine for a num-
ber of hours weekly until a time, should you so choose and be eligible,
that you receive a successful transplant. That is the truth. You will
need to organize your life in order to be able to access these machines
as needed. You wont have the exibility you once enjoyed to do what
you want whenever you want. But with a bit of planning and juggling
you will nd that much of what youd like to do can be accommo-
dated. And the truth is you will not be 100% attached to the machine
morning, noon, and night, seven days a week, fty-two weeks a year.
In reality it is, as an example, more like nine to twelve hours weekly
if you are on hemodialysis or every night while you sleep if you
perform a type of peritoneal dialysis. Although not preferable, not
16 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
angry about the fact that you got stuck with this raw deal. Of all
people, why you? Why kidney failure?
Reality #2: Dialysis is keeping you alive. You do not need to be dened
by your illness.
Just about every individual who goes on dialysis will ponder these
questions at one point or another. Of course, there are a few eternal
optimistsweve even met a fewwho never let dialysis get them
down. But if you arent in that camp you should know that all of
these emotions are 100% normal. The key here is not to get stuck in
a rut and to dwell on them. Later in the book we will discuss how to
conquer these emotions or at the very least mute them. In the mean-
time, lets present an alternative view.
Just because you are on dialysis doesnt mean you are now simply
a dialysis patient waiting around for a miracle cure to jumpstart your
life. If you are waiting, you are likely wasting valuable time. It is im-
portant to remember that your kidney function is one part of a
much bigger whole. Before your kidneys failed you, you probably
had many qualities and interests that dened you as a person. Per-
haps you loved to cook or to dance, or you were an avid sports fan, a
loving parent or grandparent. Now that you use a machine to per-
form a function that your kidneys used to do, does all or even any of
that need to change? For the most part, probably not. Chances are
you can still do most of the things that make you who you are. Sim-
ilarly if you do not obsess about dialysis, talk about it all the time,
make it your entire reason for being, those around you wont think
about it much either.
We arent advocating that you dont talk about the changes that
you are going through, but it is important to be aware of the line
that exists between therapeutically talking and wallowing. Much of
what you are experiencing is out of your realm of control, but your
attitude and the way you react to these challenges are something you
can control. As one dialysis technician told us, The patients who do
18 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
well on dialysis bring a positive attitude with them when they walk
in the door. Conversely the ones who dont do well and really strug-
gle with dialysis just cant seem to leave the pity-party behind.
Going to dialysis may broaden your horizons and test your ability
to be positive in the face of adversity. It may give you a different per-
spective on life, albeit sometimes a legitimately sad and depressing
one. But one thing is certain: dialysis will enable you to keep on liv-
ing, doing many of the things that you enjoy, and spending time
with those you love, for which most dialysis patients eventually are
extremely grateful.
Reality #3: The more you live now, even without a transplant, the better
you will do emotionally.
A discussion of dialysis and transplantation go hand in hand.
Dialysis can be life sustaining, as can a successful kidney transplant.
Both are the only two viable solutions when dealing with chronic,
irreversible kidney failure. Making the decision about whether to
pursue a transplant is an important one, and it is something that
every dialysis patient should consider and weigh carefully. If you, your
Dialysis Misperceptions versus Realities 19
family members, and your doctors decide that a transplant will in-
deed improve your quality and longevity of life, then it is important
to remember that it will likely take time for a match to be identied.
In the past, transplant patients would hope that an appropriate non-
living donor would eventually be identied. More recently, though,
the medical arena is seeing an increasing rise in related and nonre-
lated living kidney donors, which for certain fortunate individuals
may decrease the amount of time spent waiting to locate a match.
Waits can range from days to months to years, but the norm for most
waits is years. Therefore, even if you are pursuing a transplant and
are looking forward to one with great anticipation, a complete un-
derstanding of dialysis and how best to live while on dialysis will
serve you well until a match is found. If you are always living for the
future, you may be missing out on opportunities for joy and satisfac-
tion in the present.
Remember the fairytale tune that starts, One day my prince will
come. Eventually the prince does come. He rescues the princess and
nally they live happily ever after. Supposedly she was unhappyor
fully asleepuntil he showed up. Does this seem like a waste to you?
Snoozing away your life waiting for the prince to show up? Well, the
same is true for a successful transplant. Optimists at heart, we hope
you will get that much desired and awaited happier ending should you
choose to be placed on a transplant list. But in the interim, dialysis is
very much keeping you alive. So now is the time to be living.
else happens to your health in the future must be equally out of your
control.
Reality #4: Not so! You are an active participant in determining and
managing your medical care.
Doctors and medical professionals who work with renal patients
arent always perfect. As with any profession, the range of caregivers
in renal services can vary from outstanding to poor. And so it is im-
portant to remember that when it comes to your health care and
your physical well-being, your number one advocate is you. As we saw
with Donna, she made it her business to learn about the different
levels of care that existed at different facilities. When she felt that her
facility was less than optimal, she took control and made a change,
and as a result she was much happier and more comfortable with life
on dialysis.
Bear in mind, most medical professionals are excellent and have
only your best interest at heart. However, when you are relying on a
machine for survival, the more you know about the machine and
your care, the better you will be able to assist and partner with the
medical professionals around you. Rather than looking at dialysis as
something that is administered to a patient by authority gures, it is
best to shift our mind-set to view it as a partnership between patient,
technology, and medical professionals.
One dialysis technician mentioned to us that because dialysis af-
fects a large percentage of individuals in the Hispanic community,
there are sometimes cultural biases that stand in the way of this men-
tal shift. This particular technician was Hispanic himself. He was
very involved in educating his local community about dialysis and
nutritional prevention as well as in lobbying for federal funding for
food subsidies specic to dialysis patients needs. In his view, indi-
viduals in the Hispanic community who are either new to the
United States or are rst generation U.S. citizens are so grateful that
dialysis is even available that they sometimes dont feel entitled to
Dialysis Misperceptions versus Realities 21
and may prevent them from working. Many elderly individuals, who
are well beyond retirement, may suffer from kidney failure. In their
case, work or study is not as relevant. The combination of these two
groups of individuals can skew the national statistics to appear as if
work and study are not an option for many or most renal patients.
Again, this can be misleading.
up too quickly and decide too quickly that they dont want to
work. It is important for caregivers to ask their loved ones,
When are you going back to work? When are you going back
to school? If we treat people like invalids they are more in-
clined to become invalids.
Some days you may literally have to drag yourself to where you
need to be, but if you can tough those particular days out, overall the
emotional benets of working or volunteering far outweigh the
negatives.
you, if you now nd yourself on dialysis? How are you going to see
your siblings, parents, friends, and children who do not live within
driving distance? Will they have to come to you? Orif you are
one of the few lucky ones who have managed to keep all their loved
ones close to homewhat if you had dreams and aspirations of
leisure travel? It will be difcult and frightening to leave the com-
fort of your dialysis routine at home. Traveling for fun doesnt
sound so appealing anymore, now that you need dialysis to live.
The benets of travel cant possibly outweigh the hassles of nding
a clinic, dealing with travel delays when you are tied to a dialysis
schedule, or encountering health complications away from the med-
ical team that you know. Therefore, travel must be limited or cur-
tailed entirely.
Jeffrey had been on dialysis for a little over a year when we met
him. He was about to become an empty-nester with his second child
going off to college the following year. He told us that one of the
hardest things for his spouse was to face the possibility that they
would no longer be able to do many of the things they had dreamed
of doing after the kids were out of the house. This included the free-
dom to travel. He acknowledged that he knew it could be done, and
in fact, hed gone to a dialysis clinic in Kansas while visiting his fa-
ther who coincidentally was also on dialysis. But, he said it was scary
for him to go to a new place where they did not know him or his
dialysis routine. He took a great deal of comfort in the fact that he
was going to the clinic where his father was dialyzing. He knew his
fathers experience there was a good one. That calmed his fears con-
siderably. Although he commented if it hadnt been for that, he
didnt know if he would have ventured away from his regular clinic
so soon.
Jeffreys ambivalence to travel and his wifes disappointment over
having to shelve some of their dreams are neither uncommon nor
difcult to understand. These are all reasonable fears, but again they
26 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
are largely a fear of the unknown. The more you know about travel,
the less likely you may be to put your dreams on hold.
Reality #6: Put those travel shoes back on! You can still travel to most
places in the developed world.
Texas, California, New York, Argentina, Mexico, Jamaica, Israel,
England, and aboard a ship in the Atlantic Ocean. These are just a
few of the places that Daniel has visited and received dialysis treat-
ments. Did you know there are worldwide cruises that offer dialysis
on board? Travel while on dialysis can be done and more important,
it can even be enjoyed. There is one critical caveat: Medicare will
cover only 80% of the cost of dialysis treatments outside of your
home state and Medicaid will cover only in-state dialysis. Neither
Medicare nor Medicaid will cover international treatments. There-
fore, if you are on Medicare and wish to travel outside the United
States or your state, you will either have to pay out-of-pocket for all
or a portion of the bill, which can be very costly and for most people
is not possible, or you will need to have a secondary insurance pro-
gram that provides coverage. Again, for many people this is not an
option given the associated costs. Depending on your nancial situa-
tion, you may have to limit your travel to the United States or to your
home state. Fortunately we live in a great, gorgeous country with an
abundance of wonderful destinations and opportunities for explo-
ration in every state.
If you love to travel or if you have to travel, doing so while on
dialysis is not an activity for you to dread or avoid. Plus, the more
you make it your business to know your dialysis routine and to man-
age your care at home, the more empowered you will be to go out on
the road. While you may feel your clinic is the only one that will
make sure you are well cared for, in reality there are extremely com-
petent dialysis professionals and clinics all over the world. Addition-
ally, there are travel professionals and others who will go the extra
mile to help you get your treatments should travel delays occur.
Dialysis Misperceptions versus Realities 27
so real ideas surrounding this medical treatment. Now that you have
read both the loftiest and the most detrimental misconceptions that
exist, we hope you will be inclined to ignore them as much as possi-
ble. But if you do nd yourself listening to them, try to remember the
sage words of advice shared by many dialysis veterans, It is going to
be OK.
Two
dialysis will have at least visited a center before they dialyze for
the first time so that they have a chance to absorb their surround-
ings and ask questions about the procedure ahead of time. Realisti-
cally, however, many patients never tour a clinic or attend a class
before their initial treatment. Or, even if they do, they may be
too sick, overwhelmed, or inhibited to inquire at length about
the sights and sounds around them. So we thought wed provide a
step-by-step account of what it is like to go through a hemodialysis
session at a centeror as we humorously like to call it, the suds
factory, because it is, after all, where a dialysis patient goes to get
clean.
In-center hemodialysis is far and away the most common type of
dialysis at present. To receive this type of dialysis a patient needs to
travel to a center, arriving at an appointed time assigned by the cen-
ters staff. Centers are located in towns and cities all over the United
States and the world. Typically, visits are scheduled three times weekly
on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays or on Tuesdays, Thursdays,
and Saturdays. Most people will dialyze for three to four hours each
session, although some may dialyze longer. Even if you plan to pursue
peritoneal dialysis or a transplant (see Chapters 3 and 4 for explana-
tions and discussions of these alternative treatments), it is highly
likely that you will spend a period of time hemodialyzing in a center,
so our tour is recommended for all kidney patients and family mem-
bers who wish to understand more about what takes place there and
why.
On this verbal tour well try to describe and explain the before,
during, and after of a visit to the suds factory. Well cover a variety of
topics from what to bring with you, to why you step on the scale, to
how the machine works as an articial kidney, to what happens
when the technicians remove the needles at the end of the session.
And at the end of the tour, we will share the perspective of a key g-
ure in every clinic, a dialysis nurse.
A Visit to the Suds Factory 31
Before Dialysis
you, then perhaps you could bring a CD or MP3 player and head-
phones with you. These are but a few examples. The point is that
planning ahead can make the time go faster.
A Final Check
Before heading out to dialysis, Daniel always checks the status of
his graft. He does this by feeling for a thrill, a vibration, which in-
dicates a pulse. A missing pulse is a sign that the access is not oper-
ating correctly. Twice Daniel has arrived at the center and there was
no pulse. On those occasions he had to return home without dia-
lyzing and immediately contact his doctor to determine what was
wrong and how it could be resolved. Both times Daniels graft had
clotted, meaning that the plastic tube had become clogged with co-
agulated blood. By performing a fairly simple outpatient procedure,
the radiologist unclogged his graft with a medical device just as a
plumber would unclog a pipe. Between dialysis sessions, Daniel also
checks his access for any sign of infection. If he were to notice any
redness, irritation, or tenderness, he would contact his doctor im-
mediately.
The Journey
Health and weather permitting, Daniel prefers to drive himself to
the dialysis center. He nds driving himself to be good for his self-
esteem and sense of autonomy. Margie also likes when he is able to
drive himself, but for different reasons. It makes her role as care-
taker less taxing. Over the years, she has adapted to her role well,
but she too likes her independence and enjoys when she does not
have to shuttle him three days a week. Similar to Daniel, many pa-
tients will drive themselves. But the ability to drive does not need to
make or break your sense of independence. In fact, we asked one
patient how she would manage if she couldnt drive. She just
shrugged and said, Well, if I couldnt drive, Id take the bus. The
bus will take you anywhere you want to go. Many dialysis patients
regularly receive rides from family or will take cabs, public trans-
portation, or transportation organized by social services. Determin-
ing a reliable and dependable mode of transportation is a critical
A Visit to the Suds Factory 39
During Dialysis
Waiting
Arriving at the clinic, you will check in at the waiting room. There
may be coffee or a place to hang your coat. There will likely be help-
ful pamphlets, recipes, or other literature available for patients.
Some clinics will allow you to simply pass through the waiting
room, go directly into the unit, and sit down in your spot. Others
will ask you to stay in the waiting room until a technician comes to
get you. Many patients do not like having to wait to dialyze. Theyd
prefer to get started right away. Waiting just adds extra time to the
whole process when theyd already rather be somewhere else. On
the other hand, waiting rooms also build community. They become
places to meet other patients, spouses, and children, learn about
their lives, and catch up on how their days are going. Having this
sense of community can make time pass more quickly, boost ones
spirits, and make the entire experience much more endurable.
Alternatively, one patient told us that he always found himself
waiting with a group of individuals who constantly tried to outdo
one another with their woes and problems. In time, he found their
negativity to be infectious. Finding himself sinking deeper into de-
pression, he decided to switch to a clinic where he could walk
straight into the unit and build his nest at his chair without any wait.
The point of this story is that there are healthy, positive communi-
ties and there are unhealthy, negative communities. If you ever no-
tice yourself being sucked into playing the who is most miserable
game, perhaps put a bit of distance between yourself and the other
40 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
contenders. This is one competition that you would be better off not
trying to win.
uid. To achieve your dry weight, the dialyzer will pull off excess liq-
uid from your bloodstream. As this liquid departs, additional liquid
that has seeped into your tissues will now have room to move into
your bloodstream. After it enters the bloodstream, it too is then
pulled off by the dialyzer.
If you have been amassing uid over a long time, you might not
be able to get down to your dry weight in just one session. It may
take several sessions to remove all this additional uid. But lets say
after several initial sessions you arrive at this weight, and for the sake
of explanation lets call this your very rst dry weight. This would
be the very rst time you have been at your proper, normal weight
since your kidneys failed. Because the role that your weight plays in
dialysis is both a very important and very complex topic that is rarely
explained well, lets look at it in some depth here and describe this
role in steps.
Step One: Once your very rst dry weight is reached, ideally you
would maintain this weight forever, never gaining or losing any fat
or muscle weight. This is completely unrealistic, but lets say for now
that its possible. Well call this fat or muscle weight real kilograms.
In medicine, weight is typically measured in kilograms, not pounds,
but to give you a frame of reference one kilogram is about 2.2 pounds.
Now lets imagine a fantasy world, where the only uctuations in
your weight would be from the kilograms you gain from retaining
liquid. Well call these kinds of kilograms liquid kilograms.
Step Two: Now lets imagine that you live in this fantasy world
where you never gain or lose real weight and your very rst dry
weight, after dialyzing on Monday, is 70 kilograms (abbreviated
kgs.). On Wednesday, when you arrive for your next session you step
on the scale so the technician can determine your wet weight. You
weigh 72.5 kgs. This is your wet weight. The difference between your
dry and wet weight is 2.5 kgs. We know, because we live in the world
of fantasy, that all 2.5 of these kilograms are liquid. So, the dialysis
machine will be set to remove 2.5 kgs. of liquid over the course of
42 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
your dialysis session. When the 2.5 kgs. have been removed, your
technician will know that you are back to your correct dry weight.
Step Three: But here is the catch: you live in the real world where
you do gain and lose real kilograms. Now lets imagine that be-
tween dialysis sessions you suffer from a lack of appetite and inadver-
tently lose one real kilogram between Monday and Wednesday.
Now your dry weight is really 69 kgs., but you recall Mondays scale
that read 70 kgs. On Wednesday, you step on the scale and it reads
72.5 kgs. In reality youve gained 3.5 liquid kilograms. But it appears
that youve gained only 2.5 liquid kilograms. After the dialyzer re-
moves the 2.5 kilograms of liquid, how will you and your medical
team know that you are actually carrying around one additional kilo-
gram in liquid weight and that your dry weight is now 69 kgs., not
70 kgs.? Youll know because your blood pressure after dialysis will be
higher than usual and you may be short of breath. Not enough uid
has been removed. If your blood pressure is still substantially above
your normal rate at the end of a session, then you are very likely still
retaining too much uid. The physician may decide to lengthen the
session or have more liquid removed at the next session.
Step Four: Now lets envision an alternative real-world scenario.
On Tuesday, while celebrating your birthday, you eat too much
food, including cake. In this example, without your knowledge or
any way to measure it, you gain one real kilogram between Monday
and Wednesday. Now your dry weight is really 71 kgs., but you recall
the scale read 70 kgs. On Wednesday, when you arrive at the dialysis
clinic, you step on the scale and it reads 72.5 kgs. In reality youve
gained 1.5 liquid kilograms and one real kilogram, but it appears
youve gained 2.5 liquid kilograms. In this case, the dialysis machine
will be set to take off too much liquid. What will happen? You may
feel light-headed or nauseous and your blood pressure is likely to
drop during and after dialysis.
These two examples highlight the fact that determining your
correct dry weight is not an exact science. Weighing in does provide
A Visit to the Suds Factory 43
the best estimate of how much liquid to remove, but it is just that
an estimate. You and your medical team will use a number of indica-
tors both during and after the session to help determine how much
liquid needs to be removed.
that is very uneventful and quite boring. You sit, listen to beeps, and
pass the time as pleasantly as you can until your session is over. And like
Daniel, you try not to think of these emergencies happening to you.
After Dialysis
Abnormal Occurrences
On a few occasions Daniel has experienced atypical aftereffects.
Once he was acting confused and disoriented (signs of uremia). An-
other time he suffered from diarrhea, felt very weak, and had trouble
A Visit to the Suds Factory 49
sleeping. Because these after effects were abnormal for him, he con-
tacted his doctor and in each case he either returned for more dialy-
sis, altered his diet, or had a longer session the next time. Another
atypical occurrence, which he and others at his clinic have experi-
enced, is bleeding from the access site after leaving the unit. This can
be both messy and frightening. Sometimes you will have gotten no
farther than the parking lot before the bleeding resumes. If you
havent gone far you will need to turn around and head back into the
unit for additional assistance. However, if this happens at home you
will need to try to stop the bleeding on your own. If you cannot,
then you should call your doctor or visit an emergency room.
Life Marches On
Daniel has noticed over the years that the patients who put on too
much uid between sessions typically endure longer and more phys-
ically taxing dialysis sessions. They often have more difculty with
side effects after the sessions as well. He is grateful to experience rel-
atively minor aftershocks. The day after he returns home from dialy-
sis he will remove the tape that is covering the gauze on his access.
That day he, like thousands of other dialysis patients, may work, ex-
ercise, partake in a hobby, talk to his children, enjoy time with his
wife. Life marches on. The dialysis session is a thing of the past. This
is the after. Maybe not happily everbut certainly happily enough.
Before we put the suds factory entirely behind us, wed like to share
some parting thoughts and words of wisdom from an important and
central gure in every clinic: a nurse. Daniel met this particular nurse,
Madeline, at a clinic where he dialyzed while on vacation. The clinic
serves over 200 patients and is one of the largest in the United States.
Madeline rst began working with dialysis patients twenty years earlier
while stationed in the intensive care unit (ICU) of a hospital. Eventu-
ally she left the ICU to work for a nephrologists practice where she
did rounds in a dialysis clinic. In time, she moved to her current clinic
where she started out managing technicians and administering care for
50 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
Susan begins by asking Madeline about her role as the clinics educa-
tor and what that means. Madeline explains that she is responsible
for training all the new employees at the clinic, which requires a
varying level of instruction depending on the individual. Aside from
ensuring that state-mandated standards and continuing education
needs for professionals are met, Madeline is also in charge of patient
education, which she emphasizes, is critical for most patients when
they rst start dialysis.
Madeline explains that for most people, beginning dialysis is the
worst thing that has happened to them in their life. At rst, people
are usually in shock and disbelief and will test their boundaries.
They refuse to believe that they cant drink more than a certain
amount or that they cant eat whatever they like. Many are for the
rst time realizing and coming to terms with the idea that they wont
live forever. Madeline tells Susan that for many patients, having an
educator who can answer questions and provide guidance can ease
ones transition to life on dialysis.
Do most people receive education before they begin dialysis?
Most people do not receive any education before their kidneys fail.
Often the kidney failure isnt caught in time, or if it is, the patients still
A Visit to the Suds Factory 51
enough. And the more they come the better they will begin to feel.
Usually when patients rst begin dialysis they feel really horrible and
they think they are going to feel this terrible forever. Sometimes they
feel so bad that they cant even begin to learn about their treatment.
Then as they start correcting their anemia, lowering their uremia
and getting their stamina up, theyll often say, Wow, I didnt realize
how bad I felt. Sometimes they start feeling the best that theyve felt
in two years. For many people, renal failure is slow and insidious,
which is why folks wont realize just how long theyve been sick until
they rebound.
Do you have any success stories of patients who really made adjust-
ments and followed your advice?
The most memorable woman who comes to mind was a thirty-
one-year-old African American woman who had nine children. This
lady had such low self-esteem she barely made eye contact with me.
Her phosphorus was off the charts.
Madeline explains that too much phosphorusone of the impu-
rities derived from the foods we eatcauses the bones to lose cal-
cium. The calcium can move into the heart valves. Calcication of
the heart can eventually lead to heart failure. Phosphorus molecules,
unlike other impurities, are not as effectively removed from the
bloodstream by the dialysis lter. This is why dialysis patients must
take medications called binders. Binders literally bind or stick to
phosphorous molecules, preventing them from entering the blood-
stream and enabling them to exit the body via the bowels.
Madeline continues, Initially when I told this young woman of
the potential consequences of her dietary behavior she blew me off;
she didnt think she would see me again. Here I was, this middle-
aged white woman trying to tell her what to do. But I kept coming
around to check on her. Eventually she asked me, Why you keep
coming back? I told her, You have nine kids. You are too young to
kill yourself. Slowly she began to engage with me. I would often ask,
Do you have the money for your binders? Do you carry them with
A Visit to the Suds Factory 53
Dialysis Options
Choosing What Works Best for You
swollen. She was twenty-four years old at the time. Soon after she was
diagnosed with glomerulonephritis, a disease resulting from an in-
ammation of the kidney that destroys kidney tissue. Five and half
years later, when she rst began dialysis in 1978, she suffered from se-
vere uremia and anemia. Because the pharmaceutical substitute for
erythropoietin wasnt yet introduced and wouldnt be until the early
1990s, Elena was subjected to thirteen blood transfusions in eleven
months. Elena was on hemodialysis for a relatively short period, eight
months, before she received a kidney transplant from her brother.
What would you have liked to have learned when you rst started
dialysis?
When I rst developed renal failure I think I was too busy trying
to survive to worry about learning anything. The second time I went
on dialysis I would have liked to have heard about life after trans-
plant. What I learned is that there is life after transplantas it turns
out, a pretty good one.
The rst time you started on dialysis did you consider peritoneal
dialysis?
It wasnt an option then or, if it was, it wasnt discussed. When I
started dialyzing, I was just lucky that Medicare paid for it. If Id had
to go on dialysis immediately, like when I had rst noticed my
swollen ankles in 1972, it wouldnt have been covered. The act that
mandated Medicare coverage of dialysis didnt pass until 1973. Let
me use a bit of Yiddish hereeven a schlimazel [a luckless person]
can have a bit of mazel [luck]meaning I was terribly unlucky to
get sick, but very lucky to get sick when I did. If I had gotten sick
during my parents generation we wouldnt even be having this
conversation.
What advice would you give to someone who is new to hemodialysis?
Think about peritoneal dialysis as soon as possible! Im a peri-
toneal cheerleader so it is really hard for me to encourage anybody
on hemodialysis. For some people hemodialysis is wonderful. They
get the socialization with the other patients at the center, they get
Dialysis Options 59
uid is removed. When Elenas blood pressure is low, she uses 1.5%
solution. At times when it has been higher, she has used 2.5%. She
does take her blood pressure both in the morning and at night, and
she weighs herself twice daily in order to know how much liquid to
remove though the course of the night.
Aside from the dietary restrictions, are there any other limitations
with peritoneal dialysis?
If I was younger and athletic there would be some limitations.
You have to protect the abdomen. Also there is a great deal of de-
bate, even among medical professionals, about swimming with a
catheter. Some people believe swimming in a pool that is chlori-
nated is a sufcient protection against infection. Personally I have
not gone swimming since I began PD. I am too concerned that Ill
get an infection.
Certain precautions regarding water, bathing, and swimming
need to be taken to protect peritoneal dialysis patients from infec-
tion. Unlike patients with temporary catheters in the neck or groin,
peritoneal patients with catheters in their abdomens may shower,
swim, or bathe. However, before showering or bathing, they need to
place a protective plastic covering over the catheter. They may swim
in chlorinated pools or the ocean, but may not swim in brackish or
fresh water.
What is the biggest challenge with peritoneal dialysis?
There are days when you say, I dont want to set up. I dont want
to do this. But there are days on hemodialysis when you say the
same. You get sick and tired of being sick and tired. You get sick of
having to be reminded of it all the time. If all you do to manage a
disease is pop a pill, thats no big deal. Dialysis is different. On he-
modialysis you have to think to yourself, Its Monday; I have to be
at the unit at four today. Your time is constricted. That was what
was so wonderful about going on peritoneal dialysis. All of a sudden
I had the entire day back! My days werent chopped up and at rst
they felt so long. But I quickly learned to love it.
64 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
What are the key success factors to living well with renal failure?
I think that you have a choice. You can either roll with it, or you
can curl up in a corner and wait to die. Nowsince Im not ready
to wait to die, I roll with it. People say to me, How can you be on
a machine for ten hours? I say, You know what? There is no
choice. Its not that Im making a choice. Its what I do. Period. Or
people say, How can you be on this diet? I say, You know what? I
manage. People dont get it. You have to take what you get and you
have to live with what you get. The key to success is to be able to
live with it without having it become the focus of your life. A lot of
people do Oh poor me. Or, they say, Why me? The answer is,
Why not.
Just as all good things must come to an end, so does Margies
meeting with Elena, and the women part with hugs and smiles like
two old friends who have known each other for a long while.
Elena did an excellent job of laying out the hows and whys of peri-
toneal dialysis for a novice. To review and elaborate on her points,
peritoneal dialysis (either CAPD or CCPD) may be a great modality
for people who
Want the exibility to dialyze on their own schedule either every
day at night for ten hours or every day for thirty to forty-ve
minutes at four- to six-hour intervals.
Desire or at least be willing to assume a greater sense of own-
ership and control over their care.
Are prepared to dialyze every day or night in order to have the
added benet of less uremia and uid retention, which results in
consistently better physiological well-being day to day.
Dialysis Options 65
them control, or at least more control over their life and their
disease so they feel like they are in charge. For many patients the
loss of control is traumatic and when they can recover some ele-
ment of control, its great.
Previously the perception was that peritoneal dialysis was for re-
ally good patients, ones who were highly motivated; now it is
more commonly considered for all patients, including those with
more disabilities.
I dont have hard data to support it, but I believe that people
who take an active role in their care and their well-being are
more vested and do better. As a result, I have a bias toward
out-of-center modalities. The dialysis center is a very passive
experience. It is easier for the technicians in the centers to have a
passive patient than a patient who is going to come in and start
asking questions or get involved. Even if you have a patient who
wants to get involved, in many cases he or she is going to be dis-
suaded because of the nature of the system which needs to get
patients in and out quickly and efciently.
Do you have to be very clean on peritoneal dialysis? Well, you
do and you dont. Ive had blind people successfully do it, as well
as folks who are very down and out socioeconomically. The most
important thing is to have a good routine. You have to follow a
rigid procedure and protocol for cleanliness. Most people can do
it. I have found that most people who get an infection and were
a bit sloppy before getting infected will self-correct after.
In contrast, For those who have difculties with vision or impair-
ments with motor skills or neuropathy, I try to steer them toward
in-center hemodialysis unless they have a lot of support at home.
Most of my patients who do peritoneal dialysis, if they have to
switch to hemodialysis, really dont like it. Several who have lost
their peritoneal dialysis catheter for one reason or another are
miserable on hemodialysis both physically and psychologically.
68 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
Spotlight on Hemodialysis:
Continuing Your Search for the
Best Dialysis Modality for You
theory, to be free from dialysis the other four days. With peritoneal
dialysis, they perceived the seven-days-a-week routine to be a con-
stant reminder that didnt grant them an out of sight out of mind
escape. Many patients said they felt quite good when they left
dialysis, and the fluid retention and buildup of impurities over a
forty-eight- to seventy-two-hour period did not adversely affect
them enough to warrant a change in modality.
In addition, most of these patients werent particularly keen, or
were downright nervous, about being in charge of a machine or
their care at home. They preferred coming to a center and having a
technician or nurse assume the burden of care and to be on hand in
case of any emergencies. Some said theyd never really thought
about peritoneal dialysis or home hemodialysis one way or the
other. In-center hemodialysis is what theyve been doing to date,
and it was working for them well enough. Why change? Most told
us that they have found a sense of community with the other pa-
tients whom they met in the chairs next to them or in the waiting
room. Some patients mentioned forming friendly relationships
with nurses and staff as well. Many described the people in the unit
as a family. Does having this sense of family make dialysis enjoy-
able? Well, that might be a stretch, but it certainly does make it more
endurable.
Taking into account what we heard from these patients, in-center
conventional hemodialysis may be an excellent modality for people
who
Hemodialysis may also be a good modality for people who are will-
ing and able to
As we wrote this chapter, we realized that there are many factors for
someone wanting to choose one dialysis modality over the other.
One person might pass out at the sight of blood and needles while
another might be a physician. One person might not think twice
about drinking in moderation while another might really nd it to
be a challenge. One person might be an extremely light sleeper while
another might be bordering on narcolepsy. One person might be a
night security guard while another might be a daytime middle-
school teacher. Pick any combination of these characteristics, give
weights of importance to each, and you will likely arrive at very dif-
ferent dialysis modalities that seem to best t a persons overall
lifestyle and well-being. For example, one patients personal modal-
ity advertisement might read like this: Extremely needle phobic,
mildly light sleeper who loves job as a school teacher. Has some free
periods during the day, wants more control over her care and ability
to drink more. Desperately seeks best dialysis modality. In this case,
CAPD might be just the ticket.
But of course it is rarely this easy to arrive at a decision. What if
we throw in the fact that this person lives in a tiny apartment with-
out an inch of storage space? Well, then she may have to move to
accommodate her peritoneal dialysis supplies or else kick her liquid-
loving, needle-fearing ways and consider an in-center hemodialysis
option. The bottom line: there is a give and take with every modal-
ity. Your job is to work with your doctor to nd the one that gives
the most and takes the least. Why make the effort? Because chances
are it will profoundly impact the quality and longevity of your life.
Once youve made your best-informed guess, then take the steps to
make it happen.
72 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
the odds that a new kidney will be alive and functioning well
within a recipient over these respective lengths of time post sur-
gery. However, these statistics are a compilation of everyone who
received a kidney transplant during those seven years, regardless of
what year their surgery was performed. As you can imagine, the
closer to the present day that one undergoes a transplant, the more
likely the procedure is to succeeddue to ongoing advancements
in transplantation medicine and care. Also, ones age and general
state of health can improve ones odds that a kidney transplant will
succeed. As an example of these improved odds, if you look at the
survival success rates during the same period for recipients ages
eighteen to thirty-four, the rates of success increase to 93%, 83%,
and 72% in years one, three, and five.2 Without a doubt, these
numbers are very positive. In addition to the sheer success rates,
physicians argue that for many, quality of life is improved and
longevity of life is extended.
In this chapter, we describe what it might be like for someone
with nonfunctioning kidney disease to opt for a transplant instead
of a lifetime on dialysis. Through the course of gathering research
for this book, we talked to nephrologists who weighed in as to who
should seek transplants, dialysis patients who were eagerly awaiting
transplants, and renal patients who had experienced successful
transplants for many years but were now back on dialysis. But it
was our interview with one gentleman who had successfully under-
gone a kidney/pancreas transplant three years prior that we felt
best illuminated many of the issues involved with dialysis and
transplantation. By sharing his insights here, we aim to provide
an objective comparison of one mans life on dialysis versus his
life with a transplant. We hope his story, in conjunction with the
practical information that follows, will aid you in your decision-
making process and, should you choose transplantation, realisti-
cally prepare you for some of the potential benefits and pitfalls
involved.
The Decision to Pursue a Transplant 75
Its a rainy, cool Sunday morning when Margie rings the doorbell of
Larrys home. A middle-aged, medium-built, Caucasian gentleman
with light brown hair opens the door and amicably welcomes her in.
The two exchange small talk as Larry leads the way to a tiny room
surrounded by windowsthe room is just large enough for a table
and two chairs. He inquires if this will be a good spot for the inter-
view and awaits Margies response before taking a seat. Before she
can answer, he jokingly interjects that he is quite the talker and
warns that Margie might have to rein him in. Usually Margie prefers
to conduct in-home interviews in the kitchen, as she has found it to
be a comfortable room that typically puts interviewees at ease. But
both this nook and Larry exude warmth, and Margie knows that
her kitchen strategy will not be necessary. She assures him it is an ex-
cellent spot, encourages him to talk freely, and begins to ask him
about his life both before and after his successful kidney/pancreas
transplant.
Larry explains that while he was diagnosed with diabetes and was
insulin dependent at age twenty, he did not begin dialysis until three
decades later. His renal failure came on very abruptly, surprising
even his nephrologist by its rapid onset. Ultimately, a partner
who was subbing for Larrys vacationing physician broke the news
that Larry needed to start dialysis immediately. Larry tells Margie,
Frankly, when the word dialysis was mentioned, it was really very
upsetting. I hadnt been adequately prepared for it at that point, be-
cause my doctor thought I had another year to go. When Larrys
doctor returned from vacation, he reviewed the tests along with
other behavioral indicators and actually gave Larry the option of
putting dialysis off a bit longer. Larry emphatically recalls, I told
my doctor, you have got to be kidding me! Ive been sitting here
upset for two days and scared to death of this. Im not leaving this
76 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
hospital until Im on dialysis. Lets just get it under way and start
dealing with it.
What was your experience like when you rst began dialysis?
Oh God, it was awful. As my diabetes had grown increasingly
complex, Id become very matter-of-fact about my health problems.
But dialysis all of a sudden shook me to my roots. It was frightening
at rst. I probably cried every night for a couple of weeks. Initially it
was exhausting. Id come out of there and just be wasted. Plus I
maintained my full-time job. So it was both physically taxing and
emotionally turbulent.
Then one day about three weeks into it, after theyd removed
most of the toxins that had built up in my system, I woke up and felt
pretty good. Something changed, a switch clicked and I thought this
isnt so bad. I mean it was never a fun experience but emotionally
I changed, and I thought OK, I can do this. Im going to get a trans-
plant and until then I can handle this. It was at that point I started
taking very active, aggressive steps to get the transplant that I have
now.
What do you wish someone had told you before you rst went on
dialysis?
I wish Id known about other ways that you could receive dialy-
sis and had been more aggressive about pushing for myself. With he-
modialysis I had an extremely difcult time sitting there and being
idle for so long. I thought about bringing my laptop computer with
me and doing work at the clinic but found that Id be nodding off.
My doctor told me that outside of the United States hed seen clinics
where they had stationary bikes for people to ride while they were
dialyzed. I would have loved to have been able to get on a bicycle
three times a week for some exercise.
How did you decide to have a transplant?
In terms of how I decided, I dont think there was ever any ques-
tion. It was just that I was going to do it. Even now I look back and
realize that some of the things other people investigatedsome of
The Decision to Pursue a Transplant 77
transplantation than patients who are older. For those who are fty-
ve and older, by each additional year, the determinants of candidacy
become a bit grayer and more subjective depending on the physical
and emotional health of the individual. That is when you have to be-
gin to weigh the costs versus the benets more carefully. According to
OPTN in 2005, of the 16,477 people who received kidney trans-
plants, 8,132 were under the age of fty, 6,166 were between the ages
of fty and sixty-four, and 2,179 were over sixty-ve.3 But far and
away the majority of people living with kidney failure are over the age
of forty-ve. According to the 2005 U.S. Renal Data System Annual
Report, there are approximately ve people over the age of forty-
ve living on dialysis for every one person under the age of forty-ve
living on dialysis.4 When you put these facts together, you can see
that with an increase in age comes a decrease in the numbers of
transplants. But these numbers also emphasize that there is no hard
and fast rule regarding age and that a signicant number of older
individuals in their fties and sixties have successfully undergone
transplants.
Another physician explained that his approach to treatment of
patients with renal failure is like piecing together a jigsaw puzzle
where each piece is a type of life extender. As he sees it, most renal
patients are likely to have a nite time that they can live on dialysis:
perhaps twenty to thirty-ve years, depending on the individual.
And there is likely a nite time that most transplanted kidneys will
probably last: approximately ten to thirty years, again depending on
the individual. So piecing together these life extenders for a young
person with nonfunctioning kidney disease might entail a specic
sequence of three pieces: ve years on dialysis, thirty with a trans-
plant, and then another twenty back on dialysis. This is just an
example, but in this physicians mind, this comprehensive approach
toward treating nonfunctioning kidney disease pieces together a life
that otherwise would not be lived. Elena whom we met in the prior
chapter is a living example of such an approach.
The Decision to Pursue a Transplant 87
did so well with the rst one. Yet despite this positive prognosis, she
has decided not to pursue a transplant. Why? Having suffered from
cataracts, diabetes, and high blood pressureall likely side effects of
the immunosuppressantsand given her current success with peri-
toneal dialyis, she is hesitant to put her body through that again. Or as
she says, she is tired of rocking boats.
We see from Larry that while one solution was clearly better for
him than the other, neither was perfect. And as one physician who
was a proponent of transplantation told us, Getting a transplant is
not like going back to having your own kidney and life the way it
used to be. If people have expectations that arent realized, it can be a
very difcult transition for them. Or as Elena said, People need to
understand that a transplant is a treatment. It is not a cure and it is
not a panacea either. There is not a cure for kidney failure. There are
only treatments.
Larrys medicinal regime is representative of what is required post
transplantation for the life of the organ. Human immune systems
are designed to protect our bodies against foreign invaders such as
bacteria, viruses, or foreign objects. This would include a healthy
donated kidney. The immune systems natural response is to produce
antibodies that would try to attack the kidney. Therefore, to protect
a transplanted organ, one must take immunosuppressants, drugs
that literally suppress the immune system from reacting as it natu-
rally would. Immunosuppressents must be taken in perpetuity for
the life of the organ. Even missing one dose of a drug can be detri-
mental to the health of the transplanted kidney.
For many, simply taking the pills all the time is what gets to be
the biggest challenge, especially when they are feeling well. One doc-
tor told us his patients will at times question why they still need
them if they are feeling great. His answer, Taking your medications
is like following a religion when you do something solely because
God says so. You have to have that kind of fervor and attention to it
day in and day out.
Here is the good news: over time the medical and pharmaceutical
industries have improved the drug therapies used to sustain donated
organs. In the 1970s, patients would get huge doses of drugs and
often fall very ill from infections, sometimes requiring additional
surgeries. Now the eld of transplantation has become better at man-
aging and getting people and their grafts (kidneys) through the rst
90 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
year, also known as the acute rejection stage.5 As Elena and Larry
both point out, there are serious side effects associated with taking
these medicationsincluding but not limited to bone fractures, dia-
betes, infections, and cancers; these are very real possibilities that
will affect some people more than others. However, there are also
more choices of medicines available now, so there are more options
for treating the side effects in a reasonable way. We recommend that
you discuss all the potential side effects with your physician.
Other costs that need to be taken into consideration and planned
for are monetary costs of screening and preparing for transplanta-
tion, costs of the surgery, as well as ongoing costs of the medications
after the transplant. Larry was fortunate to have excellent health in-
surance through his job that covered both the costs of his transplant
and his current prescription drugs. Many folks will nd that they
need to create a nancial plan that will often draw from multiple re-
sources to cover all the costs associated with transplantation.
There are many resources and organizations available to help you
with nancial planning and aid, several of which weve listed in the
resource section at the end of the book, and your transplant center
should have staff to assist you with planning as well. Sometimes
obtaining money from savings, by fund-raising, or from charitable
organizations will be necessary to ensure that you can purchase the
medicines required to keep a donated kidney healthy.
For individuals concerned about the nancial burden, one doctor
advised, Dont over-agonize about it. For patients who want and
need their life back, where transplantation is the best option, theyll
likely be able to work afterward and will do better in many ways. Fi-
nances should not become such an overwhelming issue that they pre-
vent someone from being evaluated for a transplant.
The same physician told us of a patient who had undergone a suc-
cessful transplant but who after three years was no longer covered for
the costs of his transplantation drugs under the Medicare prescription
The Decision to Pursue a Transplant 91
drug benets. The patient had two young kids and a good job, but
without the prior Medicare coverage he couldnt sustain thousands of
dollars in pharmaceutical bills. He was ashamed that he couldnt pay
for the medications, so he stopped taking them and didnt tell any-
one. He didnt want to admit that he was struggling. Without the
medications, a person may remain symptom free for days, weeks, or
even months, but a silent, certain rejection of the kidney begins tak-
ing place immediately. A few months later his wife found out and
said, No way! You have to call the doctor this minute! The doctor
scrambled around, pulled some samples of medications together, and
worked to secure nancial aid for the gentleman in need. The moral
of this story: do not let your pride get in your way, plan ahead, and
ask for help if you need it. Sometimes it takes time and paperwork,
but there are resources available to assist with transplantation costs.
and that you are emotionally prepared for the possibility that, despite
your best efforts, the recipient of your kidney may experience an acute
or longer term rejection of your organ.
There are signicant benets to receiving a kidney from a living
donor versus a deceased donor. The recipient can schedule the pro-
cedure and begin taking immunosuppressant medications in ad-
vance, which helps reduce the risk of rejection. Typically, the success
rate is higher and anti-rejection rates are lower among blood relatives
whose tissues match. And the primary benet to you as a donor is a
sense of pride and contentment in knowing that you gave your loved
one, or even a stranger, the greatest gift possible: independence from
dialysis, a heightened sense of normalcy, and an improved quality
of life.
There is a great deal of information available about transplanta-
tion, and because we are able to provide only a sliver of this content
here, we recommend that you visit the books resource section to
nd out where you can learn more. Our goal in this chapter was to
describe broadly what transplantation involves and where it ts in
the life of a dialysis patient. By sharing Larrys struggles and celebra-
tions, we aimed to give you insight into many of the issues you
should be discussing with your doctors. And by providing you with
basic, useful information, we hoped to empower you to move for-
ward with added strength and condence in the health care deci-
sions you make now and in the future. We also hope that, like Larry,
you are able to embrace life and your decisions regarding how best to
prolong and live it to the fullest. And remember, dont forget to
laugh.
Five
The K-Team
Working with Dialysis
Professionals
along the way when working with these critical members of our
team.
First, though, lets hear an alternative perspective on dialysis from a
pivotal member of the team, a nephrologist. Throughout our research
we met with several nephrologists whose insights are shared intermit-
tently in this book, but in the case of Jack we found his interview with
Susan spoke best to the unique dynamic of the relationship between a
doctor and a chronically ill patient. After weeks of phone and e-mail
tag, Susan was able to secure an hour on Jacks calendar. Like most
nephrologists, his time was in short supply. Despite this, he was more
than willing to meet with her once his schedule permitted.
week to ten days and each doctor to see about eighty patients a week.
Obviously the physicians caseloads are heavy and their time is in de-
mand. But Jack tells Susan that he and his colleagues maintain consis-
tency with their shifts, so that the patients at the clinics will typically
see the same physicians in the practice. That way, he says, we get to
know the patients, their family members, who they are, their religious
beliefs, what matters to them. With time, we begin to know the pa-
tients well and can provide a better level of continuity of care.
Jack explains that this continuity is especially benecial if a patient
is hospitalized. When a patient has a setback and arrives in the hospi-
tal after a medical eventor as Jack calls it, an episode of carehe
or she is usually more debilitated and vulnerable than usual. And Jack
concludes, During these times it is very valuable to have a physician
who is very familiar with that patient and his or her history. That way,
the patient doesnt have to re-tell his or her whole story. Much of
modern health care isnt built for that type of continuity, but it is es-
pecially important when someone has a chronic disease.
As a physician how do you dene someone who is living well on dialysis?
Doctors look at the lab tests and blood pressure and this and that.
Of course, that is part of it. We need to know that the treatment is
working as intended. But thats not the whole deal. We need to ask,
what really matters to the patients? Are they doing the things in life
that they like to do? Are they feeling relatively well at home? Are they
having a reasonable level of activity? Are they enjoying their family?
Those are clearly questions for the patients. Sometimes, I look at the
lab tests and blood work and say, You are doing great! and then I
look down at the patient and clearly he or she is not. How that per-
son is really doing is what you begin to understand as you talk to the
patient and to the family. And, as you get to know them, they begin
to trust you. They will conde in you. They may even conde in you
if they are reecting on whether or not to continue dialysis. But to
answer your questionto me it means the person is actually feeling
like Im OK. This is good. I can live like this. Dialysis is worth it.
The K-Team 97
What percentage of dialysis patients that you see do you think are do-
ing wellby your denitionon dialysis?
It is tough to put your perspective on someone elses existence. I
always tell my patients, this road you go alone. I call it the cliff. They
look. They stare over the side and they decide if they want to do this.
It is life changing for everyone. Probably 80% of the patients are sat-
ised that they are doing better and reasonably well on dialysis. I
think a good 20% struggle. Some of the struggle is because other dis-
eases they are coping with are collapsing in on them.
Jack explains to Susan that for many patients, especially those
with diabetes, kidney disease is just one complication of many.
Many times complications associated with diabetesamputations,
nerve damage, loss of vision, and vascular insufcienciesall tend
to hit at the same time. Jack tells Susan that often patients who are
contending with many of these complications at once are on dialy-
sis but are not satised with their quality of life. In these cases Jacks
says, The patients simply exist with the hope that things will get
better.
What is the most challenging for patients who are new to dialysis and
their families?
The rst few weeks or months can be difcult until they settle
into a routine. Sometimes they get sick and get sent back into the
hospital, then they need to have their accesses built, then they have a
problem with their accesses and need to get them rebuilt; meanwhile
theyve got a catheter that isnt working well and they need a new one
and everybody is thinking What the heck is going on!? But what
they need to understand and what is difcult for them to understand
is that the beginning is rarely representative of what life on dialysis
will be like. Trying to understand and see through all this turmoil
can be very hard. Patients and families manage and get through it,
but these rough starts add to their fears and worries. At the same
time they are seeing all the other patients around them and they are
thinking Oh my God what is this? Is this really my life?
98 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
What are common questions that patients and family members will
ask you when they rst begin dialysis?
Sometimes they dont ask a lot of questions. You have to go after
them to ask you questions. They will ask if dialysis is going to hurt.
They wont always understand that dialysis doesnt make the kidneys
better and that it doesnt cure them. They will ask how long until
they dont have to do dialysis anymore. Most often patients will have
that deer-in-the-headlights look.
Is it challenging for you to inuence patients to manage their diet
and liquids?
Yes, it is a huge challenge. We are so used to doing what we
want. This is our culture. There is food all around us. All our friends
are eating. When you are on dialysis, you cant walk around with a
Big Gulp like you used to, but some patients do! We are in this
constant battle with some patients. They come in, we remove uids,
they feel sick and they think that dialysis is killing them. What I
have to make them understand is that if they were more careful, they
would feel better. My approach when this happens is to say, Do this
for two weeks and you will see a difference. Just two weeks. Some
people gure it out and some never do.
Have you had patients who have ultimately chosen to stop dialysis?
Yes. Not many. It is a difcult and enormous decision for some-
one to make. It has to be a very thoughtful decision. For example,
most patients cant think clearly or thoughtfully right after theyve
had coronary bypass surgery. They may be thinking, Am I going to
live and if I do live, what is it going to be like? However, at that
point, my goal is simply to listen to them. I want to know what they
are thinking about life and death. But, objectively I know that they
may very well improve and return to a reasonable state of health.
Jack then asks Susan to imagine an alternative scenario where a
woman has been on dialysis and ghting a disease for a long time.
This woman has been going in and out of the hospital for years.
Every time she leaves the hospital her life returns to reasonable.
The K-Team 99
Every time she goes into the hospital she comes out again. Then one
day she has a medical event when life for her no longer returns to
reasonable. This patient begins thinking to herself that dialysis is
no longer worth it and she no longer wants to live. But her family
members are thinking that even though she has been in the hospital
ten times she always rebounds, so why would this time be any differ-
ent? They assume that of course she wants to live. Jack says to Susan,
It is different now because it is ten years later and she is in her
seventies.
Jack goes on to explain that many times the patient may know
what he or she wants, but making the decision to withdraw from
dialysis is very complex. Patients dont only think about their fatigue
and pain, but they also consider their familys pain and wonder how
a decision to continue or discontinue dialysis will impact their fami-
lies. Frequently they are torn between not wanting to be a burden to
the family and not wanting to let the family down. According to
Jack the most difcult situations are when there is a lack of unanim-
ity. Sometimes in these cases the family has never discussed the pa-
tients wishes, or if they have, the discussion has been forgotten or
they arent coping well with the patients desire to discontinue. Jack
reects, Those are the most uncomfortable situations, because you
can see your patients struggle. They are suffering because they are
unhappy with how they are living; they dont want to continue, but
they feel trapped.
Jack then points out a very visible example of someone who chose
to discontinue dialysisthe American author James A. Michener
who died in 1997. Michener had been on dialysis for years before he
made the conscious decision to discontinue. At that time he was
ninety, his wife had died of a stroke two years earlier, he was reading,
he was writing, his mind was in decent shape, but his body was fail-
ing him. In Jacks estimation, Michener, while it may not have been
his intent, successfully raised awareness around the consciousness of
choice.
100 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
Is it more likely for folks to want to discontinue dialysis when they are
contending with other medical issues, in addition to dialysis?
Sure, because the burden upon them is greater. It is a very differ-
ent long-term view for someone who is young and can get a trans-
plant than for someone who is elderly and has bad heart disease or
diabetes and is not a candidate for a transplant. As time marches on
it doesnt get easier.
Have you ever contemplated what it would be like to live on dialysis?
Yes I have, and at this point in life I would do it. At a later point
in life I might not. I once came upon a patient who was desperately
ill with an infected gallbladder. He was in his seventies but you could
tell he was very active. His legs, arms, and face were tanned. Clearly
he was out in the world doing stuff. In response to the possibility of
needing dialysis he said, No, Im not going to do it. Later I saw him
at the clinic. He was on dialysis. He told me, Now I actually feel
pretty good and Im doing things that I enjoy. Im going to stick with
dialysis. He had a change of mind, a change of heart, and a change
of circumstances. His health improved and he realized that he actu-
ally was still alive. My point is you just dont know what you will do
until you are in those shoes. Like I said, you go to the cliff alone. You
walk there. You stand there. You feel the cool breeze. You see the
depth of your decision. You turn around and there is nobody there.
Youve got to make the decision yourself.
The Nephrologist
Your nephrologist will meet with you and your family to answer
questions about your kidney function, dialysis, and treatment. He or
she will decide how many times weekly and for what length of time
you must dialyze based on your laboratory results and physical
exams. Your doctor will also prescribe the needed medications to ac-
company your dialysis treatment. Your nephrologist will provide ad-
vice and guidance regarding transplantation and the various dialysis
modalities. The nephrologist will recognize problems arising from
acute illness or secondary conditions, treat them if possible, or refer
the patient to primary care physicians or known consultants. Your
doctor will work closely with your transplant surgeon and transplant
team to prepare you for possible transplantation. And if ever the
time comes, your doctor will be a resource, along with mental health
professionals and clergy, to answer questions you may have about the
decision to terminate dialysis.
The Nurse
Medicare mandates that a licensed health professional be on duty at
all times while patients are dialyzing at a clinic. Therefore a doctor, a
nurse, or a nurse practitioner must always be present. Most often a
nurse will be the one to meet this requirement. Nurses wear several
hats. They may conduct new patient, family, and staff training. They
may actually put patients on the machines, monitor them, and take
The K-Team 103
them off, or they may supervise the on-duty technicians while the
technicians perform these tasks. Nurses may do rounds, meaning
they visit with the dialyzing patients, and then report back to the
doctor any questions or issues that arise. They may also conduct pa-
tient training of alternate modalities such as home hemodialysis or
peritoneal dialysis.
The Dietician
The dietician is a helpful resource when it comes to managing your
new diet. On an ongoing basis dieticians will help you to read and
understand your laboratory results so that you can continue to make
changes and improvements. If you are not doing so well, they will
offer suggestions and tips as to how to make better choices and re-
place foods that negatively impact your health. They can provide
cookbooks and will often post recipes or weekly tips for all members
of the clinic to enjoy. If needed, dieticians can also meet with family
104 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
members to help educate them about your new diet and the ways in
which they can be supportive. Last, when you are on track and doing
well, your dietician will cheer you on. This persons job is to provide
positive reinforcement and encouragement so that you will continue
to keep up the good work.
The Technician
The technician is often the member of the team with whom you will
interact the most. You probably wont just have one technician who
always works with you. In reality, depending on the day, the techni-
cian who is taking care of you may change. However, typically when
you arrive for dialysis one technician will work with you for your en-
tire dialysis session. The technician will get you hooked up to the
machine, will monitor your vital signs during the session, and will
take you off the machine. He or she may be able to answer some
basic questions about the treatment or the machine, but these indi-
viduals havent received licensed medical training, so certain specic
medical questions may have to be deferred to the doctor or the
nurse.
and live by it. If you have questions, ask. And if you have more
questions, keep on asking. Be persistent. This is your life and
your health. No question is too dumb!
8. Last, if you disagree with what you are hearing from any of the
members of your team, feel free to respectfully voice your opin-
ion and explain why you disagree. Also feel free to seek a second
or third opinion when it comes to making substantial decisions
that will impact your health and quality of life.
Important Resources
Part of knowing when and how to speak up on your behalf is know-
ing what resources and information are available to you. Two excel-
lent resources for learning more about patient advocacy and working
with medical professionals are these:
emotionally and physically. You and they will have good days and
bad days. As you learn to trust and rely on your K-team for care,
dont hesitate to trust your own instincts too, and speak up if you
must. You may be the patient, but you arent powerless. You have a
say. You have a voice. You are an equal member of the team.
Six
you were relatively happy before dialysis, in time, you will be happy
after. Alternatively, if you were relatively unhappy before dialysis,
you will still be unhappy after. How a person copes with dialysis and
the attitude he or she adopts toward it is often reective of how
someone has managed to cope and the attitudes he or she has learned
to adopt throughout life.
Of course, dialysis is initially shocking for everyone. This initial
shock can cause a serious crisis for many individuals. Going on dialy-
sis can result in depression, anger, anxiety, and even occasionally an
emotional breakdown. It can also result in severe crisis in family rela-
tionships, which occasionally can result in separation and divorce.
However, in these cases the marriage was suffering to begin with.
Dialysis is simply the straw that breaks the camels back. There is no
question that individuals who have no other physical illnesses (such
as diabetes, strokes, heart disease) often do better emotionally than
individuals who have other major physical illnesses for the simple fact
that their burden is lighter. But after the initial shock has passed and
a person has become used to the new routines of the dialysis, he or
she settles down to live life within the constraints of the treatment.
During this initial period of shock, what are the tools that a per-
son can use to help ease this emotional distress? In this chapter we
will identify and discuss some of the most common emotional re-
sponses to dialysis. In addition, we will recommend ways to help you
deal with this emotional turbulence. The good news is that like most
kinds of turbulence, eventually this too subsides. By addressing and
tending to these emotional bumps, you may eventually, as the afore-
mentioned study shows, nd yourself just as happy as the next guy.
Throughout the years that Daniel has been visiting dialysis clinics
weve met many rather well-adjusted, seemingly happy individuals,
but most of these acquaintances rarely opened up to us about their
trials and tribulations when rst starting dialysis. Nor did they tell us
much about the sources of strength they used to help them survive
the tough times. But in the course of researching this book, Susan
116 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
I was arriving ten to twelve pounds over my dry weight. That wasnt
good. I would cramp during and after the session. Now when I come
in, they take off two or three pounds. Unfortunately, I had to learn
how to control my liquids the hard way. Until you start learning
what uid does to you and what certain foods do to you, you can
feel pretty bad. Adjusting to a new diet was a whole other can of
worms that I had to deal with. Over time I learned about my potas-
sium, phosphorus, and calcium.
What advice would you give to someone who is new to dialysis?
Really spend a lot of time talking. Talk about how you feel phys-
ically and emotionally. When I rst went on dialysis I read some
pamphlets, but honestly it was as if they were written in Chinese.
They were lled with information. I think it would have been help-
ful for me to read more about the psychological aspects of what a
person goes through in the beginning. I think visiting with a support
group or seeing a counselor might have also been benecial. I didnt
do either of these things, although I did regularly read a newsletter
that included personal testimonials. I found reading about other
peoples stories and what they went through to be extremely helpful.
I also had my wife read the testimonials too. They were helpful for
both of us.
I would also recommend that new patients speak with the veter-
ans in the clinic. Some of the folks here, the older folks (Im the new
kid on the block), they really helped me through a lot. They would
ask me How are you feeling? What are you going through? And
they would tell me what questions I should be asking the medical
staff. Having that kind of support and friendship was really very
advantageous.
What advice would you give to a family member of someone new to
dialysis?
Talk to somebody about what you are going through emotion-
ally. At rst there are a lot of emotions that the family and especially
the spouse are going through. But they dont want to share these
Dealing with Emotions 119
emotions with you because they feel that you have enough to worry
about. Despite this, family members also need an outlet or someone
to talk to. I wish initially my wife had done that more. She held a lot
of her emotions in for a long time. I think possibly talking to my fa-
ther and mother, or somebody who had gone through the same
thing, would have helped her a great deal.
Jeffrey says that when he rst began dialysis his wife took time off
from work to drive him dialysis. Because he didnt want her to feel
like she had to spend so much time caring for him, he tried to get
back on his feet as quickly as possible. Jeffrey tells Susan, I think
getting back to a relative state of normal where I could drive myself
has helped a lot. I also think it helped that I opened up and said to
her, Tell me how you feel. I think she wanted to know what I was
going through emotionally as well. This was important for her. It
was difcult for me, at rst, to share my feelings with her. In the be-
ginning I didnt really like to talk about it. I would just say Im feel-
ing pretty good!
Interestingly enough, both Jeffrey and his wife were trying to pro-
tect one another from the distress that they individually were en-
countering. Jeffrey didnt want to burden his wife with having to
take care of him. He didnt want to tell her truthfully how he was do-
ing and felt that he had to rebound and adjust just as quickly as pos-
sible. Likewise, his wife felt angry and sad that their life was no
longer what she had envisioned, but since she was the healthy one,
she felt she couldnt share these emotions with her husband. During
a stressful time the two tended to keep their feelings to themselves.
Eventually when they began communicating more openly and hon-
estly with each other they began to cope better emotionally.
In addition to addressing your emotions, what are some additional
key success factors to living well on dialysis?
Really, every individual is different. I think if it wasnt for my
faith, perhaps I would have a very different outlook on dialysis and
on life. Most of my life Ive tried to encourage people to live well
120 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
and hes looking forward to seeing his daughter graduate from high
school soon. Susan cant help noticing that he is living well and en-
joying life despite dialysis. Before they part ways, Susan nds herself
contemplating what sources of strength or coping mechanisms she
would draw upon if she were ever to walk in Jeffreys shoes.
Like Jeffrey, most patients whom we met told us that it took some
time for their physical health to improve signicantly before they
could begin to feel, much less deal, with the substantial emotions as-
sociated with this enormous life change. When they begin to feel bet-
ter physically is when many patients start to feel anxious, depressed,
or angry. Family members are also highly susceptible to these emo-
tions. It is normal and understandable to experience them. But the
people who do not do well on dialysis are the ones who cannot, over
a normal course of time, address and move past these emotional
states. Some individuals never cope well with dialysis. They think
their life has been forever limited and they absolutely hate the thought
of having to go to dialysis three times each week as long as they
liveor until they receive a transplant. Emotionally, these are the
people who do not do well. Now lets look at some of the most com-
mon emotions that can negatively impact dialysis patients and their
families, what happens to those who do not cope well, and what cop-
ing mechanisms a person can rely on when working through these
emotions.
Denial
Denial is often the very rst reaction of many dialysis patients. De-
nial is a state of nonacceptance. When in denial, a person refuses to
accept the fact that he or she is on dialysis. Obviously the person can
122 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
Anxiety
Anxiety makes one feel uneasy, fearful, nervous, and worried. Physi-
cally one can experience a quickened pulse, lethargy, irritability, and
Dealing with Emotions 123
Depression
By far the most common reaction to undergoing dialysis is depression.
Statistics show that up to 40% of people with nonfunctioning kidneys
experience depression at some point in time.2 Larry whom we met in
the previous chapter told us, I wish Id known before I went on dial-
ysis that the toxins that were gradually increasing in my system as my
kidney function declined commonly can cause depression. In addition
to being somewhat more forgetful for the few years prior to dialysis, I
know that I found myself emotionally overwrought at times. I cer-
tainly considered going into therapy and getting medication. I think it
affected my relationships with my wife and children. I wish Id known
the emotional impact that the toxins were having on me because after
those rst three weeks of dialysis all of a sudden it was sunshine. In
Larrys case his depression was corrected by going on dialysis; however,
some individuals actually nd the situational stress of dialysis to per-
petuate depression. Or as Elena of Chapter 3 told us, The rst thing
that will happen when a person begins dialysis is he or she is going to
be depressed. You start treatment and you are so depressed. And to
second that thought, a dialysis social worker whom we met explained,
I stop by every treatment at the beginning so I can see how the per-
son is adjusting. Adapting to dialysis is not easy. Everyone has a hard
time and depression is really common.
Symptoms of depression include feelings of sadness, loss of
appetite, insomnia, difculty concentrating, lack of interest in life,
126 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
Anger
Feelings of depression and despair can easily mutate into anger. When
patients feel tremendously sorry for themselves, they at times become
enraged at themselves, their loved ones, the caretakers, anyone within
Dealing with Emotions 127
earshot. They are so furious that they have been given a raw deal in
life that they scream, yell, curse, and at the end of the day, do not feel
better. Of course, wondering Why me? is normal for a while. Yet if
the patient cannot move past this sense of injustice, a constant
lament of Woe is me can become toxic and antiproductive. These
patients have temporarily lost an important part of living with ad-
versity. They can no longer take a step away from themselves and re-
alize that they should be grateful to be alive. Yes, they have to go to a
clinic three times a week as long as they live or until they receive a
transplant. And yes, even if they travel to the end of the earth, they
still have to be on dialysis three times a week. But they can work,
play, make love, and enjoy most of their waking hours each week.
However, an ongoing sense of anger and frustration at the world pre-
vents them from seeing this reality. Like anxiety and depression,
anger is a completely understandable emotion for an individual to
experience when rst starting dialysis. However, learning to release
this anger and move on is necessary in order to enjoy an improved
quality of life.
One patient told us that when he began dialysis, his family suf-
fered a great deal from the severity of his moods. He found that he
was angry at them all the time. He told us that he wished he
had understood how his transition to dialysis was impacting him
emotionally. Had he known that anger was a normal response he
might have tried to redirect it elsewhere, or, at least by acknowl-
edging it, he might have been able to control it better. However, at
the time he didnt understand that he was just so very angry about
having to go on dialysis. He wasnt able to express or communicate
his anger appropriately. He attempted to keep it bottled and hid-
den. However, his rage boiled up anyway and he found fault with
everything and everyone around him. In time he learned to live
with his lot, his anger subsided, and his home life improved. But
he still regrets the way he treated his loved ones and wishes that he
128 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
What if you cannot get past your normal feelings of anxiety or depres-
sion or anger? What then? Well, you may need some assistance. Assis-
tance comes in many shapes and sizes and there is no shame in needing
help emotionally. As weve heard before, starting dialysis is a big deal.
Usually events of this magnitude present emotional hurdles that must
be overcome. You may think that you are doing ne, but if you cant
sleep at night, or if you are breaking into a cold sweat every time your
dialysis machine beeps, or if you notice that everyone from the recep-
tionist to the technician seems to be giving you dirty looks in response
to your behavior, then it might be time to acknowledge that you arent
coping so well. There are several resources available to you. Usually the
hardest step is knowing to ask for help and knowing that this is not
a sign of weakness. In actuality it is just the opposite; it is a sign of
strength to be able to know when you need support. The most com-
mon sources of assistance in coping include family and friends, profes-
sional counselors, support groups, medication, faith, and spirituality.
the past, Daniel has commented to Susan that having Margie in his
life makes dialysis signicantly more bearable. He added, I feel
that I have an ally, someone who could go through the battles with
me, which makes a huge difference. We hope that all our readers are
fortunate enough to have someone like that in their lives.
Other family membersfor example, young children or adoles-
cents living at homeoccasionally nd it difcult to deal with the
dialysis patient. The illness should be carefully explained to them,
and as much as possible, they too should be part of the team.
A ne balance needs to be struck between support and reliance.
Leaning on your loved ones for concern and understanding is im-
portant. Yet both the family members and the patients themselves
should be careful not to underestimate the patients capabilities. In
other words, dialysis patients shouldnt be babied too much or too
long. It is important for dialysis patients to reclaim their indepen-
dence and productivity as much as possible.
Despite this, the spouse of the dialysis patient often does have to
spend some of her or his time taking care of the dialysis patient.
Even under the best circumstances, three times a week the patient
comes home from dialysis and he or she is weak, tired, and in need
of a little extra attention. The four non-dialysis days are usually bet-
ter, and the patient can take care of himself or herself. As the weeks
roll into months and years, the caregiver needs to have what has been
called respite care. The spouse of the dialysis patient needs to do
something for himself or herself that does not involve the patient.
For example, a spouse can go to a resort, go hiking, visit relatives in
another city or country, or even just go to a movie or a theater per-
formance. On returning, he or she will feel reenergized.
Margie is a huge advocate of the benets of respite care. Over the
years, off and on shes experienced periods of feeling burned out. Not
often, but at times, she experiences a weariness that comes with in-
creased worrying about Daniels health. Since Daniel went on dialysis,
Dealing with Emotions 131
Margie has been fortunate enough to take an annual trip on her own.
Most notably, she has gone hiking and camping with tour groups in
National Parks throughout the United States and Canada. Daniel is
not a fan of camping or hiking, which is why these trips are a partic-
ularly good outlet for Margie. Although he misses her, he is not
resentful of her experience and she is able to do something she loves,
something that is just for her. Her weeks outdoors are very rejuvenat-
ing and she returns home ready to resume her routine of providing
tender loving care and encouragement for Daniel.
Professional Counselors
Although we often want to rely on friends and family members to pro-
vide all the help well need, sometimes when they are also trying to cope
they cant always provide the most objective or adequate counsel. Espe-
cially in the beginning, as weve mentioned, family members are often
struggling themselves with the new circumstances. To have an open
line of communication is important, but it is equally important to real-
ize a family member or friends limitations. Sometimes we may benet
from the expertise of an unbiased professional who is trained to help in-
dividuals undergoing stress and emotional upheaval. Every dialysis
clinic has a social worker on staff. Social workers wear many hats in-
cluding that of travel expert and nancial counselor. However, their
intended role is to provide psychological counseling and emotional
support to dialysis patients and their families. Although many patients
do not want to spend one minute longer than necessary at the dialysis
clinic, they may be well served to make an appointment to talk with the
social worker. Or, you can even ask the social worker to come and meet
with you while you are dialyzing. Sometimes social workers may even
refer a patient to a counselor outside the clinic. The costs of an external
counselor may be partially or completely covered by Medicare.
Daniel is a psychiatrist by trade and has spent a lifetime treating
individuals in need of emotional assistance. When he rst went on
132 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
Support Groups
The social worker at the clinic will also be knowledgeable of any
support groups in the area for dialysis patients and their families.
Many times just hearing that what you are going through is normal
and that others are experiencing the exact same thing can be a great
source of comfort. There are also support groups for individuals
awaiting transplants, and you may be interested in investigating
one of these. Like the community in the dialysis center, support
groups can assume healthy or unhealthy dynamics. When you at-
tend a support group, it is important to try to gauge which type of
group you have found. Is it the type that truly provides support,
helpful tips, and inspirational stories? Or is the type that quickly
dissolves into a black hole of complaining, negativity, and wallow-
ing? If youve arrived at the first kind, great! This might be a good
place for you to help process all the changes going on in your
life among other people who can really understand and relate.
However, if youve landed with the second kind, leave and dont re-
turn! Attitudes can be contagious, and sticking with an unhealthy
group dynamic can make you susceptible to catching these nega-
tive bugs.
Medications
Your nephrologist or your psychiatrist, if you are referred to one, can
determine whether your anxiety or depression should be treated
with the use of medications. If anxiety or depression becomes para-
lyzing, debilitating, persistent, and generally preventive of your
Dealing with Emotions 133
Once youve dealt with the initial shock, anxiety, depression, and
anger, you will still need to cope with dialysis one day at a time for as
long as you are receiving this treatment. Over time, most people nd
that being happy while living on dialysis becomes progressively eas-
ier. However, you may have setbacks along the way; when these arise
you may need to rely a bit more heavily on the coping mechanisms
weve outlined above. But when the worst has passed, what are the
day-to-day techniques you can employ to ensure that you maintain
a good outlook on life? There are several. Many listed below have
earned their own chapter in this book, but wed be remiss not to
mention them briey here as they are the most common techniques
mentioned by dialysis patients and health care providers alike:
The more you are able to put these suggestions into action, the less
you will have to work at staying positive: it should come naturally. As
it does, if you watch, you may notice something interesting begin-
ning to happen. Healthy people, whom you encounter during your
daily walk of life, will not shy away. In fact, they will enjoy your com-
pany. They may not even realize you are on dialysis and might even
be astonished to nd out. Or if they do know you are on dialysis, they
may even begin to admire and look up to you for your ability to live
well in the face of adversity. You will become a role model. Of course,
the main reward of coping well is being content with life. This is our
primary wish for our readers. But the unexpected respect and admira-
tion of others can be a very welcome secondary benet.
Seven
oss a rock into a body of water and watch as the water cas-
T cades from where the rock hits the surface. Now imagine that
someone on dialysis is much like that rock being tossed into the wa-
ter. The impact on the water is greatest at the center, the location of
where the rock hits the surface. But, like the cascading water around
the rock, those around a person on dialysis feel the reverberations
of the impact and are profoundly affected as well. The more inti-
mate you are with the person, the larger the ripple. Spouses, chil-
dren, parents, and others very close to the person must endure the
strongest impact. Those on the outer peripheryfor example, a co-
worker or a simple acquaintancemay feel only the slightest blip
or even calm. This chapter is written to help those near and dear to
a dialysis patient ride the waves of dialysis successfully and to help
patients understand the inevitable reverberations taking place
around them.
This ripple effect was articulated by Keith, a middle-aged African
American man whom a social worker had identied as someone liv-
ing well on dialysis. In total, Keith had spent four plus years on
dialysisthree and a half on hemodialysis and one on peritoneal.
The Impact of Dialysis 137
I didnt want that. On the ip side, they put the catheter down so low
in my abdomen that it can be aggravating when my pants arent loose
enough. You have to be conscious of it at all times.
Has the location of the catheter impeded your sex life?
Well I was about to mention that, but didnt know if it was ap-
propriate. Yes it has. Now when Im undressed Im very conscious
that someone can see this tube hanging out of my stomach. You al-
ways have to keep it clean and now Im worried that my or my wifes
body uids will get in there.
Has dialysis affected your sex life?
Yes, my sex life after going on dialysis in generalnot just peri-
toneal dialysishas faded drastically. So much so that I had to talk
to the doctor here. He even offered to talk to my wife. She thought
it was her. I kept trying to tell her, Baby its not you; its the disease
you know. It has nothing to do with you. But, she wasnt buying
that. My drive is not there. Basically it is nonexistent. Dialysis has
been disastrous on my sex life.
Did you expect to encounter sexual side affects when you went on
dialysis?
When my kidneys rst failed, everyone told me this was going to
happen. But my ego kicked in and I went on a mission to prove
them wrong. I went out and cheated on my wife. I dont know if that
is an excuse or not, but that is what I did.
Keith explains that his indelity created a serious rift in his mar-
riage of sixteen years. After receiving a confrontational phone call
from Keiths mistress, his wife left home for two weeks. Keiths at-
traction to the other woman was not singularly sexual. He described
her as being more someone that I could talk to than have sex with.
Eventually Keith and his wife sought counseling, but his wife was ex-
tremely angry and upset. Luckily for Keith, his wife acknowledged
that she had received second, third, and fourth chances during his
rst year of sobriety. At that point in their marriage she was still
The Impact of Dialysis 139
struggling to kick her habit, but Keith stuck with her. In return she
decided she would forgive him this one betrayal.
What would you have liked to have read about soon after starting
dialysis?
I havent read or seen anything about the sexual part of it. When
my wife and I rst started having problems I asked the doctor if he
had any literature about sex and dialysis. He didnt. I think something
should be available because it is a very real part of dialysis patients
lives. All the men Ive spoken to have encountered the same issues.
And my wife recently spoke to a woman on dialysis whose husband
left her in part for the same reason. I think there are many husbands
and wives walking around feeling like they arent attractive any
more.
How does your wife feel about your sex life?
There used to be a time where I wanted sex all the time and she
would push me away. I told her, I cant believe all these years Ive
been chasing after you and youve been pushing me away, and now
that my kidneys fail you want sex every night!
How do you respond to her needs?
I look at my wife and know that I need to take care of her sexually
but its just not there. There is about to come a time when Im going
to need to force myself just because and that will be awkward.
Are there other ways that your wife and family were impacted by
dialysis?
In the beginning I went from depressed to angry. I was pretty hard
on my family when I rst started. My ten-year-old daughter is the love
of my life. She and my wife caught hell. I was grouchy. Mean. They
werent used to my behavior. Suddenly they found themselves getting
snapped at for little things.
Do you think your wife was afraid youd die?
Youd have to ask her. She knew it was an alternative that Id con-
templated. At rst, I told my wife that I didnt want to spend my life
140 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
this way, that I just wanted to let it happen and die. She told me,
You better suck it up and not cop out.
What role have your wife and daughter played in your transition to
dialysis?
Well my daughter was spoiled rotten and continues to be spoiled
rotten! She and my wife are the reason Ive managed to adjust. No
matter how grumpy I get, they keep coming back for more. They are
my support system and the most important part of living well on
dialysis is having a support system. I cant stress how helpful theyve
been. It is just so important for people around a dialysis patient to be
supportive through the good days and the bad days.
Keiths tale of indelity may sound a bit extreme to someand cer-
tainly is not representative of every dialysis newcomers experience
but the inherent themes he raisesseismic shifts in his marriage,
issues of virility, diminishing drive, care giving and supportare not
uncommon among dialysis patients. What is uncommon is actually
discussing them openly. Dialysis patients may talk discreetly among
themselves, but from what weve seen and heard, very little informa-
tion about interpersonal dynamics and challenges has been captured
and made available to the dialysis community. In the rest of this chap-
ter well discuss the different variables that impact those around a dial-
ysis patient from the center of the ripple outward: from spouse to child
to friend to acquaintance.
Who Is a Caregiver?
Typically a caregiver is a spouse or parent, or occasionally an adult
child whoaside from the person actually undergoing dialysiswill
be impacted the greatest. For the sake of simplicity we will refer to the
primary caregiver as the spouse, although we acknowledge that there
The Impact of Dialysis 141
are many situations in which this is not the case. As we describe the
role of the spouse and the effects that dialysis has on the spouse, most
topics of discussion (with the exception of sexuality) are transferable
to other individuals who may ll the role of primary caregiver.
Whether or not you consider yourself a caregiver is debatable. A
dialysis patient is not an invalid and does not require round-the-clock
care. In fact, dialysis patients want to be treated like anyone else. But
they do sometimes have bad days, feel weak or tired after dialysis, or
encounter medical complications. During these times, they will look
to someone to lean on for support and to ease their fear. The person
closest to them will by default assume this responsibility and by doing
so will on some level step into a caregiving role.
Also bear in mind, for some dialysis patients, there is no primary
caregiver. The patient simply takes care of himself or herself. For ex-
ample, earlier in the book we met Elena who lived with her parents
when she rst started dialysis and then later lived on her own as a
single woman. Having a primary caregiver is not a prerequisite for a
dialysis patient. However, if you are married and your spouse goes
on dialysis you will to some extent suddenly nd yourself in this new
role. This next section is directed to all those on the front lines. You
may not be sitting in the chair, but you are the one who must con-
tend with the nutritional requirements, mood swings, and medical
complications that affect your spouse. While it certainly isnt the
same as being on dialysis, at times it may not seem fair that your life
is changing signicantly as well.
needs to be patient and allow for these changes to take place over the
course of days and months. On the ip side, if the relationship is
healthy and strong, dialysis may eventually bring a couple closer
together.
Because dialysis is a humbling experience for all involved, it can
make individuals have a greater appreciation not just of their life but
of the people in their lives. Typically when we appreciate a person
more fully, we treat him or her with a greater love and respect. If you
are lucky enough to persevere through the changes and challenges of
adapting to dialysis you may be fortunate to come out with an even
more loving relationship in the long run.
Once the initial introduction to life on dialysis has been worked
through and a couple has gotten into their new groove, they still
arent home free. Intermittent stresses and strains may come and go
throughout the marriage whenever a new medical issue, whether
temporary or permanent, arises. We liken this process to walking on
a balance beam. Before dialysis, you and your signicant other are
condently walking across the beam in lockstep one following the
other. Then along comes dialysis and bam! You are both knocked to
the ground. Hopefully with luck and perseverance you nd your
way back up on that beam. Until one day, a new medical issue arises.
When this happens, depending on the severity of the issue, you
may tumble to the mat again (and with that comes renewed ghting,
distance, disharmony), or perhaps the two of you simply lose your
footing, wobble a bit, then nd your equilibrium and continue on.
And so it goes. Continuously nding your way back up on that beam
and learning how to maintain your balance is a critical skill you must
now master.
you may contemplate what would happen if he or she dies. You may
have an overwhelming fear of being alone. You may struggle with
how to be more independent and less reliant on your partner for self-
denition. You may be extremely fearful of your partners pain and
suffering, now and in the future. You may even harbor feelings of re-
sentment or anger at this person whom you love, for putting greater
constraints on your lives together.
In light of what your loved one is going through, some of your
feelings might seem petty, selsh, and hurtful. But they are normal.
Obviously you may not want to share these fears or feelings with
your husband or wife who is on dialysis. Your partner is already cop-
ing with all he or she can handle. But keeping these emotions re-
pressed will be a disservice to your own well-being and eventually to
your marriage. They will keep you from regaining a solid footing.
If you nd yourself overwhelmed at the thought of being alone,
having a difcult time, or feeling sorry for yourself, it is important to
try to talk to somebody. As we said, you may not want to burden
your husband or wife. Your children may already be coping with the
mortality of their parent. It is better to seek out a professional, a spir-
itual adviser, or a close friend whom youve found helpful in your
life. In either case you might not always be able to approach those in
your innermost circle because they are being affected too. Rather,
you must go outside the circle to someone who has a fresh perspec-
tive. You may nd that having an outside resource enables you to air
your worst fears and emotions.
Finding someone with whom you can share and work through
these emotions is a healthy and helpful response for a spouse of a dial-
ysis patient. And it will help you come to terms with your new role
and the resulting changes in your marriage. But when you seek an
outside resource, do so constructively with the help of someone who
is not a threat to your marriage. In Keiths case, he not only sought
out someone who could reafrm his virility, but he also sought out
a sounding board, someone he could conde in. Unfortunately his
The Impact of Dialysis 145
likely start with the least invasive treatment rst and recommend
more aggressive treatments should the initial ones fail.
1. Learn about the dialysis diet and how to shop or even cook for
the diet. Adapting recipes and nding creative ways to concoct
food that your loved one will enjoy is one of the most loving acts
of kindness that you can express.
2. Inquire about the dialysis clinic and the people there. Going to
dialysis is like going to work. It is a whole world lled with charac-
ters and stories. Showing interest in where your loved one spends a
great deal of his or her time is a nice way of expressing interest.
3. Give gifts that show you care. Go out and buy small drinking
glasses and replace the massive cups you have in your kitchen
cabinet. Find a pretty jar in which your spouse can keep phos-
phorous binders. In Margies case she found two jars one marked
with an X the other with an O. Other thoughtful gifts are a cozy
washable blanket that the person can take to the clinic, a beauti-
ful pill box for some of the medications, or an MP3 player for
keeping the individual musically equipped while dialyzing.
4. Visit the person at dialysis. You certainly dont need to go every
time or for entire sessions. But popping in on occasion, espe-
cially as a surprise, can be like a ray of sunshine.
5. If your loved one has reached a signicant dialysis milestone ac-
knowledge it and recognize the persons courage and persever-
ance. For example, to mark the ve-year anniversary of Daniels
start of dialysis, Margie asked all of his siblings and children to
write and send cards. She surprised him with the cards and a gift
from the whole familya paperweight inscribed with the
phrase, You are a star.
152 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
The majority of people within a patients world are far more im-
mune to the highs and lows of dialysis, and they will fall into the cat-
egory of being one step removed. For example, this may include
adult children, good friends, or siblingsjust about anyone who is
close to the patient but who does not live under the same roof. In re-
ality the majority of people in this group generally show little inter-
est at all in dialysis or a patients life on dialysis. People live busy,
stressful lives and often just ask how the patient is and go on to other
topics. Some are afraid to ask about dialysis. If they do ask additional
questions they are often misinformed or ignorant about the treat-
ment. Sometimes their concerns or questions are tinged with an air
of surprise that the patient is still alive and able to get around so well.
While it may sound harsh, the truth is that most people in this
group tend to be fairly clueless and rarely make an effort to educate
themselves. Sometimes this may be frustrating to the patient or
those on the front lines, but it is a reality of life. Perhaps, for those
who know very little about kidney failure and who take the time to
read this book, they will arrive at a new level of empathy and inter-
est. If you nd yourself within this group of individuals and, after
reading, wish to be even more in tune with your friend or loved ones
life, we have a few recommendations of gestures that would likely be
very well received and much appreciated. If there were such a thing
as dialysis patient etiquette it would go something like this:
1. First, go and visit your friend, sibling, parent, or other loved one
at dialysis. Dont be scared or deterred by the tubes and needles.
The Impact of Dialysis 155
Remember that many dialysis patients are able to walk out of the
clinic and lead very good lives! A visit may be uncomfortable at
rst, but it will be very illuminating. More important, it will en-
hance the relationship between yourself and the dialysis patient.
All three of Daniels children and his two oldest grandchildren
have, at different times, visited him at dialysis. While some were
nervous at rst, Daniel asserts that each visit was an eye-opening
experience that enabled the visitor to gain a more realistic per-
spective, and as a result be more empathetic.
2. Before you visit, ask permission. Of course, there is a ne line
between empathy and pity. Both Daniel and Margie acknowl-
edge that they are proud and do not want to be pitied, or viewed
as having or being less than anyone else. For this very reason,
some people may be hesitant to allow a person other than a care-
giver to see them dialyzing. As an example, we met one young
woman who refused to allow her boyfriend of six months to
visit her at the clinic. She didnt want him to picture her in that
light. She wanted him to view her like he would view anyone
else.
As an aside, we feel she was entitled to deny her boyfriends request
to visit until she felt the relationship was at an appropriate stage of in-
timacy and comfort. But we also believe that if and when she was to
become condent enough in the strength of the relationship, allowing
him to visit her while dialyzing would only enhance their bond. He
would be able to learn about an important but not completely den-
ing facet of her life. And as a result he would have a window into her
vulnerability and courage. In theory, if her boyfriend was a keeper,
these insights would only draw him closer.
3. Dont just visit the patient once, never to return. For many pa-
tients, dialysis is a big part of their lives for many years. If that
is the case, you may want to pop in now and again. At the very
least visit once a year. A short visit requires minimal effort on
156 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
your part, but will likely leave a large impression on the person
you are visiting. You dont need to stay for an entire treatment,
but even a half an hour will mean a great deal to the patient
and will be a considerate expression of your ongoing love and
concern.
4. Occasionally ask the person on dialysis about his or her treat-
ment. Asking patients about the clinic and the people there is a
gesture of genuine interest in their life. After all, they do spend a
lot of time there. Similarly, it is nice to ask dialysis patients from
time to time how they feel or how a session went. While they
dont want to be completely dened by dialysis, they dont want
it to be ignored either. By asking, you are acknowledging a big
part of their lives.
5. Request a complete, written list of dietary restrictions. When a
person on dialysis comes to your home, make an effort to serve
or have foods on hand that are good for him or her to eat. Try to
steer clear of cooking unhealthy options, or at the very least pro-
vide an alternative. If you understand the diet, you will be in a
position to be more supportive and less likely to inadvertently
sabotage a persons attempts to comply with the diet.
6. Be understanding that dialysis trumps any other activity. If you
want a dialysis patient to be present at a certain event, you must
plan the affair around their dialysis schedule. Daniel and Margie
have taught their kids that every day is special and no day is spe-
cial; in other words, all activities and events must be planned
around Daniels schedule. If Daniel is vacationing with his fam-
ily and has to dialyze on New Years Eve, then the family can cel-
ebrate New Years the day before. Eventually one becomes so
accustomed to accommodating the ebb and ow of dialysis that
one barely remembers life before dialysis.
7. Try to assist the caregiver if the need arises. During times of ad-
ditional stress, if medical complications arise, check in on both
The Impact of Dialysis 157
know about dialysis, but rst let them get to know the other aspects
of your life.
As an example, we mentioned that Margie occasionally takes trips
on her own. She started out by telling fellow vacationers about
Daniels dialysis and why she was vacationing alone, but her closest
friend cautioned her against this. For one, her friend said, you
need a complete break from the world of dialysis. And for two, there
is no reason to go into it. Now Margie chooses carefully if and
when she tells someone during the course of the trip. She only men-
tions it if she feels it is completely appropriate. When asked how
people react she says, Most frequently they are kind of fascinated
and are surprised that Im so relaxed about dialysis. Most people
whom she condes in usually dont know much about dialysis. If
they express further interest, she considers it an opportunity to teach
them a little about renal failure and dialysis.
On the other hand, some people arent nearly as receptive. Dial-
ysis patients may threaten some individuals who are afraid of ill-
ness and these people will be more likely to shy away. Do not
pursue them. You will only hurt yourself if you pursue them. Some
people are just like that. You cannot change them nor should you
try to. If you are tempted to, stop and ask yourself, What do you
get when you continuously hit your head against a wall? A
headache! Really its not worth the effort. Margie and Daniel both
say they have learned not to take these rebuffs to heart. They sim-
ply think of how blessed they are to have wonderful friends, and
then they move on.
suggestions in this chapter are intended to help you brave the wake of
dialysis and the disturbance that it may cause to your relationships.
Human beings are remarkably exible, and like water settling around
a rock, most relationships eventually adapt to the unwelcome imposi-
tion of dialysis.
Eight
able maintain the lifestyle that theyve built based on their previous
level of earnings. They may worry if they will be able to afford to
send their kids to college, pay for the childrens braces, or buy a
home.
Of course, all of these questions may invoke worry and anxiety. If
they are racing through your brain, dont panic. As we mentioned at
the beginning of the book, one of the biggest societal misperceptions
surrounding dialysis is that a person on dialysis is no longer able to
work or study. As one renal care social worker said, I have known
many people who assume that once they require dialysis they can no
longer work. I often felt that it was my responsibility to challenge
that assumption.
This particular social worker had been working with dialysis pa-
tients and transplants recipients for over two decades. During that
time she had seen people who were battling kidney disease work in a
variety of jobs and elds. She saw everyone from dishwashers, to
landscapers, to construction laborers, to factory workers, to business
professionals, to doctors who worked and dialyzed. She told us,
The more time you spend at home sitting in your house, the worse
you feel. The more depressed you are, the less energy you have. This
is the reason that the articles Ive read over the years strongly support
the idea that people who continue to live their lives as close as possi-
ble to life before dialysis do better. Unfortunately, there are certainly
people who cant continue to work and I help them through that pro-
cess. But when people start dialysis, I try to set up the expectation
that they will work and if they cant then well gure it out. At least I
want them to see that somebody expects them to work.
It may take time, to sort out the realities of what one can or can-
not do while on dialysis, but in the interim our advice would be to
try not to make any premature, large life changes immediately after
starting dialysis. Take a month off if you have to, but plan on return-
ing to work. For some people that may mean returning full-time;
for others that may mean working part-time, volunteering, or being
162 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
active in church or synagogue. Time will tell, but rst allow the dial-
ysis a grace period to take effect and allow yourself time to begin
feeling better.
When rst starting dialysis you may feel so sick and so debilitated
that it may be very hard to imagine ever feeling well enough again to
hold down a job. However, how you feel initially on dialysis is rarely
representative of how you will feel in the long run. Or alternatively
you may be quick to think, if my life will be shortened shouldnt
I enjoy every last minute, and is work really how I want to spend my
time? But, as weve said many people live decades on dialysis. You do
not yet know what the future holds so dont be so quick to assume
the worst. Give yourself the time to be able to separate the forest
from the trees before prematurely starting disability paperwork.
This is not to say, that the task of working and juggling dialysis is
easy. Many times it is not. In this chapter we will discuss a range of
issues surrounding work and nances that arise when someone is on
dialysis. We will discuss a host of topics such as the type of informa-
tion you should and should not divulge during a job interview, as
well as information about health insurance programs, protective fed-
eral laws for people with disabilities, nancial assistance programs,
and exible work schedules. Our aim is to help you gain a much
greater understanding of how to make work work for you.
One young lady whom Susan interviewed was successfully doing just
that. Maria, a young twenty-year-old Hispanic woman was in the
midst of dialyzing at 5:30 a.m. when she cheerfully greeted Susan
from her chair. Susan, unaccustomed to such an early work schedule,
nursed her extra-strength coffee, appropriately named Fog Lifter, as
she pulled up a stool and sat beside Maria and listened as her story
Work and Financial Implications of Dialysis 163
was it. I didnt do anything. Eventually I just got tired and thought
What am I doing? Life was just passing me by. An entire year went
by and I thought, What am I doing here living at home with my
mom? So I enrolled in school because eventually I want to be living
on my own and doing stuff with my life.
As we saw with Maria, her school life did shift dramatically after she
began dialysis. At rst she tried to continue going to school as she
had normally done, with the exception of skipping rst period. But
because dialysis sapped her energy she was unable to show up to
school on time and maintain her grades. Home schooling wasnt the
ideal option, but it enabled her to continue her studies and get the
rest she needed. If only her dialysis center had offered an afternoon
shift, she would have been able to go to school in the morning and
dialyze after.
166 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
nding space for a peritoneal exchange in the middle of the day are
willing to accommodate these requests. Occasionally though, an em-
ployer may not be so receptive. If need be, you, your social worker,
or your physician may need to draft a letter referencing the ADA. As
one social worker said, I have used the ADA as a threat, although
Ive not had to get involved with recruiting lawyers to advocate for
patients. Any time you reference federal law it does raise an em-
ployers awareness.
We spoke with a patient who found himself in just such a situa-
tion. When he rst started dialysis he was working for the city col-
lecting recyclables. This patients nephrologist felt that the job would
be too strenuous for him and recommended he try to switch to an al-
ternative position working within the same municipal department.
So this gentleman approached his supervisor and asked for a reason-
able accommodation. The supervisor refused and suggested instead
that the employee resign and go on disability. The gentleman con-
fronted his supervisor saying that he thought he was being unfairly
discriminated against. The supervisor retorted that he didnt really
care what the employee thought. So, knowing his rights, this gentle-
man led a complaint with his states commission on human rights.
Three days later he received a call from his employer offering him a
position in the customer service department where he went on to work
for several years. And as a result, the complaint was dismissed.
Unfortunately weve also been told that there are ways for em-
ployers to skirt the rules set forth by the ADA. Rather than refusing
certain requests, some managers will accommodate them. But they
will intentionally make the work environment hostile and unduly
challenging until ultimately an employee feels that the only recourse
is to resign and go on disability. We sincerely hope that you do not
nd yourself in an adversarial position with your manager or em-
ployer. However, if you feel that an employer is directly violating
your rights as dened by the ADA, you should strongly consider
pursuing legal recourse.
168 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
dock for UPS. In that case the interviewee must disclose that infor-
mation. She went on to explain that anything that does not prevent
you from doing the job does not have to be disclosed until after an
offer has been made. At that point, some jobs require a brief physical
or a drug urine test. This would of course bring your renal failure to
light. If you no longer make urine, ask your physician to provide a
letter explaining your kidney failure and willingness to provide a
blood or hair sample instead. Under the ADA a prospective em-
ployer should be receptive to this alternative suggestion.
But remember, early in the interviewing process you need not
disclose anything. As a litmus test ask yourself, Will leaving my
job half an hour early to get to dialysis prevent me from doing the
job and doing it well? As an alternative, could arriving at work ear-
lier in the day, or working from home later at night still enable me
to do the job and do it well? If the answers to these respective
questions are no and yes, then you need not say anything while
interviewing.
Sometimes people will be interviewing for a position and will
want to know up front if the employer will be willing to work
around a hemodialysis schedule or to accommodate a peritoneal ex-
change. As we mentioned, in-center hemodialysis schedules are un-
fortunately not set up for the convenience of patients. In fact, most
of the dialysis schedules interfere with regular work day hours. Usu-
ally a patient cant complete the earliest session (typically ending
around nine a.m.) in time to arrive before the work day begins nor
can a patient start the last session (typically beginning around four
or ve p.m.) after the ofcial work day has ended.
While interviewing, a person on dialysis may hope that the
employer will display a willingness to nd a work-around to this
schedule. Interviewees may also be uncomfortable withholding infor-
mation that, while it wont prevent them from doing the job, may
start them out on the wrong foot with their employer. Therefore they
may feel compelled (even though by law it is not required) during the
170 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
interview process to reveal that they must dialyze and may require
exible scheduling. But here is another way that employers can get
around the ADA. Upon hearing about the dialysis before extending
an offer, they may then choose not to hire the person on dialysis. If
smart, they certainly wont say that they are choosing not to hire this
person because of dialysis although in many cases that may be one of
the reasons if not the reason. They will have another excuse. Bottom
line: if you divulge that you are on dialysis early in the process you are
taking a gamble on the integrity and open-mindedness of the em-
ployer, and in some cases, it may not pay off. So think very carefully
about what you choose to share with a potential employer and when
you choose to share it.
can she determine which companies may have the best benefits
and be the most accommodating in terms of her dialysis? As far
as we know, a list of Best companies to work for when dealing
with a chronic illness does not exist. However, the seasoned social
worker we met earlier told us she typically encourages patients to
look at larger companies. Why? First, small businesses typically
cant afford the health insurance premiums associated with chroni-
cally ill employees whereas a large business with hundreds or even
thousands of employees is generally impacted less by a handful of
chronically ill employees. While their premiums do go up, they are
better able to manage their overall costs due to economies of scale.
For this same reason, they also tend to have better insurance pack-
ages. So not only would you be more likely to get hired by a large
employer, but you would also be more likely to have better health
care benefits.
As for nding an employer that will be receptive to a exible
schedule provided you get your work done, there are three lists you
may want to reference: Working Mother magazines 100 Best Com-
panies, Fortune magazines 100 Best Companies to work for in
America, and the Fortune 500. While you may have no interest in
maternity leave or on-site daycare, you can be assured that a com-
pany will not make it onto the Working Mothers list if it is opposed
to exible work arrangements. Hence, this is why you, a person po-
tentially seeking exibility, would also nd interest in such a list. As
for the Best Companies to Work for in America, each company may
have a variety of reasons for making it onto the list and not all may
pertain to your needs. But often Fortune will include brief explana-
tions as to why a company has been chosen and again you can look
for key words such as telecommuting, exible schedules, job-
sharing, and the like. If you cannot nd companies on either of
these lists that have operations in your home town or nearby, check
out Fortune 500. Of course, just because a company is big doesnt
mean that it is exible. But the Fortune 500 lists the largest 500
Work and Financial Implications of Dialysis 173
companies in the United States and will help you to at least identify
whether there are any very large employers in your area. Last, when
seeking open-minded employers you may want to check with your
town or city to nd out whether there is an ofce of people with
disabilities and if so, if they ever hold job fairs. If in fact they do, see
if you can get a list of companies that have attended in the past.
Odds are that those companies will be receptive and supportive of
your dialysis requirements.
it will keep you from feeling like the perpetual odd man or woman
out. Participating in as many things you can that you find enjoy-
able is critical to your health. So if you enjoy hanging out with
your colleagues dont skip these events. Instead, when and if a
question comes up, just pull out your stock answer such as, Im
on a special diet for health reasons. Most people will have enough
common sense not to press further but if they do you can always
say, Its really not worth going into right now, and then swiftly
change the subject to the latest in sports news or office politics.
That will nicely but firmly indicate that you dont want to discuss
it further.
work part time. Now that you are on dialysis, you are not required to
retire, although you may decide that you want to.
on small incomes. Many of the people who fall within this category
may have previously been working for minimum wages, for sporadic
periods of time, or for cash. Oftentimes they have been uninsured for
much of their past working lives. Ironically, now that they have renal
failure and can qualify for both disability and Medicaid, they may
suddenly nd themselves in much better nancial situation than they
had been in previously.
Although this is good news for these individuals, it can also be an
eventual catch-22 should they want to seek gainful employment and
get off disability. If, for example, they return to the workforce and be-
gin to earn enough money that they no longer fall within the low-
income guidelines, they will often no longer be eligible for Medicaid.
And even though they are earning more, their health care premiums
will rise and their out-of-pocket expenses will increase. Overall, going
back to work may not be cost effective for them, so in many cases,
staying unemployed is the better nancial option. Some states, in an
effort to help individuals return to work without being penalized -
nancially, will offer Medicaid buy-in programs. This means that for a
nominal fee these individuals can still receive Medicaid and the low
costs associated with it.
Medicare, on the other hand, is a health insurance program that is
paid out of a federal reserve of social security funds. Throughout our
lives as we work, we pay social security taxes and if we work a mini-
mum number of years, we become eligible to qualify for Medicare. In
some cases an individual may also be eligible to qualify for Medicare
through a spouses work history. Provided you or your spouse has put
in the necessary amount of time to be eligible, for you to then qualify
to receive Medicare you must either be over sixty-ve or disabled at
any age. And similar to Medicaid, if you are on dialysis, you are con-
sidered by Medicare to be disabled. If you begin peritoneal or home
hemodialysis, Medicare can go into effect immediately. If, however,
you begin with in-center hemodialysis Medicare coverage does not go
into effect until ninety days after your rst treatment.
Work and Financial Implications of Dialysis 179
opt not to apply for Medicare depending on the specic costs, premi-
ums, co-pays, and exibility of their plan. However, there is a federal
law that protects private insurance companies from having to cover
dialysis costs indenitely. The law essentially caps the amount of time
(currently two and a half years) these private insurance companies
must pay for dialysis before Medicare must be employed to cover the
costs. When starting dialysis you should meet with your social worker
to understand if you might be best served to stick with your private in-
surance initially and move to Medicare later on, or if you would be
better served by moving to Medicare immediately. You will want to
look at which solution will save you the most money, as well as which
will enable you to be treated by the doctors or centers that you want.
In either case you may also choose to keep both insurance poli-
cies working for you, one as your primary insurance and the other
as your secondary insurance. Of course, after two and a half years,
Medicare must become your primary insurance. At that point you
can either keep your private insurance policy as a secondary insur-
ance plan or you can drop it entirely. As we said, every private in-
surance plan is different depending on your annual out-of-pocket
premiums and co-pays, so youd be very wise to spend time with
your social worker to understand what will be the least expensive
option for you.
Many states have health laws that give individuals with chronic
illnesses better health insurance options than those available through
private insurance companies. If your state has such an option, you
may want to investigate the benets of carrying this insurance.
Last, as we mentioned, in-center hemodialysis coverage under
Medicare goes into effect only ninety days after the rst treatment.
And for all dialysis patients, Medicare covers only a percentage of the
total treatment costs. This is the primary benet to having a second-
ary insurance policyeither private or stateto help cover some or
all of the costs that are not paid through Medicare. In addition, there
is a third alternative that can assist with these costs: Medigap. There
Work and Financial Implications of Dialysis 181
are several different Medigap policies but they all serve the same
purpose: to help you with the monetary gaps that Medicare does
not cover. Like private and state health care plans, you will pay a pre-
mium for a Medigap policy.
For the most part peritoneal dialysis patients are less restricted
than hemodialysis patients when it comes to food and drink. This
chapter may still be of interest to PD patients but will likely be more
relevant to patients on hemodialysis.
For a chapter with tips on diet and exercise for dialysis patients,
who better to jump-start the discussion than a dietician at a dialysis
clinic? Susan sat down with Julie, a dietician who had been working
with dialysis patients for over eight years. This was a prime opportu-
nity for Susan to learn just what made dialysis patients tick when it
came to curbing their diet and liquid intake. What motivated them
to do well? Alternatively, what kept them from making the changes
that would make them feel better? Julie was happy to share her in-
sights into what she had learned over the years from so many of the
patients she had worked with.
not do as well. These patients feel like they dont have that much
control over their actions. I suspect some just feel they are destined
to be unhealthy and there isnt anything they can do to feel better.
Likewise, they feel that they dont have the capability to control what
they eat. I often hear patients say, I dont have willpower. They as-
sume that they cant do any better, and that is simply not true. But it
will be true as long as they feel that they dont have the power to
change what they do.
So basically you are saying that attitude can have a big effect on their
ability to make dietary changes?
Yes. I strongly feel that if people believe they can make a differ-
ence in their lives, then they will. The people that really say to them-
selves, Ok, I can do this. I can do better. I can do this to protect my
heart. I can do this to protect my bones. These are the people who
are going to thrive on dialysis.
How important a role do the immediate family members play?
I think family plays a huge role. There are a lot of ways that a
family can help or hurt a patient. You dont want someone trying to
sabotage what you eat. That can be very harmful. On the other hand,
many families are very devoted to learning about the diet and trying
to shop and cook for it. Often when patients get their lab reports Ill
jot notes on the paper for them to share with their families. A lot of
times they will say to me, My family really likes to see this or I al-
ways share this with my family.
What are your thoughts on cheating?
I think people should enjoy the foods that they like. Im not a
stickler for never having pizza or never having a piece of cheesecake.
There are certain foods that are worth eating to that person and
that person should eat those foods on rare occasions and in small
amounts. I would encourage cheating when it is planned. For exam-
ple, if you know you are going to eat enchiladas that day, be very
careful the rest of the day; take your pills with you and savor every
little bit of your meal like it was your last enchilada. I think to occa-
Adapting to the Dialysis Diet 187
Eating Right
potassium, phosphorous, and salt. They must take the time to under-
stand what is good for you versus what is bad for you. The dialysis
diet is often anti-intuitive. What may seem healthy to most people
may be very unhealthy for a dialysis patient. If your family members
do not reeducate themselves about what really is healthy for you,
they may try to be helpful but unknowingly undermine your efforts
to eat well. For example, one patient told us that her mother was al-
ways saying to her, You are too thin, you need to eat more. You
need to keep up your strength. The womans mother would then
proceed to push foods on her daughter that clearly werent good for
her to eat. While the patients mother had the right intentions, she
didnt understand the dialysis dietary restrictions well enough to fol-
low through correctly and instead was unknowingly sabotaging her
daughters efforts.
Following good intentions with bad recommendations can be
easily remedied with a little education. If you feel that you arent up
to the task of educating your family members, perhaps arrange for a
consultation with the dietician and ask your family to attend with
you. When you get your lab reports back and have done well or
shown improvement, involve your family members too. Show them
how well you are doing! Like you, they also enjoy positive feedback
and whether it is a conscious decision on their part or not, their will-
ingness to support you is also reected in those lab numbers.
Dining Out
Many of us enjoy being able to eat out with friends or family, plus it
is a treat not to have to cook or clean up after a meal at home. Din-
ing out is often a fun, social affair. But stepping out of the house,
away from our own kitchen, means that we have more rather than
fewer choices. With the increase in selection comes an increase in
unhealthy options. The key to success when dining out is planning
ahead. By following the suggestions below you can still eat out in a
healthy manner:
192 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
If you are planning to eat a meal out, lets say dinner, try to be
extra careful with your intake during the morning and the after-
noon. Throughout the day save your uids and eat smaller por-
tions of foods low in sodium, potassium, and phosphorus.
You can really eat anywhere, but some restaurants will have more
healthy selections than others. Look for restaurants and cuisines
that will give you the most to choose from, but know that if you
end up someplace with fewer choices, there will always be some-
thing for you to eat.
If you saw the movie When Harry Met Sally, youll recall that
without fail, every time Sally ordered off a menu shed ask for
substitutions and special preparations. When it comes to order-
ing food the way you want it, dont be shy; be a Sally. These
days most restaurants are accustomed to serving diners with di-
etary constraints. Feel free to ask for sauces and dressings on the
side. Dont hesitate to ask for ingredients to be left out or for
substitutions to be made. Basically using the menu as a guide,
design a meal that youd like to eat and will be good for you.
Then place your order. Provided you arent asking the chefs for
an extra cross-town trip to the market, youll be surprised at
how often (almost always) they are able and happy to accom-
modate you.
Try to stay away from fast-food chains. Aside from being very
high in fat, fast foods are typically very high in sodium as well. If
you just cant resist, then ask for the nutritional content informa-
tion of the menu items, which most fast-food restaurants can
provide. Then make the best informed choice. Opt for kid-size
portions and request that your items be prepared without salt.
When ordering from any restaurant, try to avoid spicy foods as
they tend to make you thirstier.
Ethnic restaurants are often excellent options for dialysis pa-
tients. There are many healthy selections to choose from at
Adapting to the Dialysis Diet 193
Holiday Eating
Aside from dining out, the next big challenge for many of us to stick
to our dietary guns is often holiday eating. Much of what we recom-
mended above also applies to holiday eating but here are a few addi-
tional tips:
Try to eat a small meal of healthy foods before partaking in a
holiday feast. This way youll be less inclined to overindulge in
foods that arent as healthy for you.
194 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
Get in Motion
Dont be afraid to look foolish in other peoples eyes. Just try your
best and get out there.
Fourth, sometimes it is easier to get over our inhibitions and in-
ertia by having an exercise buddy. Also an exercise buddy will force
you to continue exercising on days when you dont feel very inspired.
Sometimes just knowing that you have to be accountable to another
person ensures that you will show up and participate when you
might otherwise be inclined to settle in on the couch. So forge a
partnership with a friend, a child, or a spouse and encourage each
other to create and stick to a routine. You might want to seek out a
class at your local YMCA, community center, or athletic club. Many
tness centers or clubs have an extensive menu of classes to choose
from for all ages, interests, and tness levels. And for those who can
afford it, a personal trainer once a week is also a fantastic investment
in your health. A trainer will help create a routine that strengthens
your body, and he or she will keep you motivated both during and
between sessions.
Fifth, in addition to getting a cardiovascular workout, incorporate
some weight training into your routine. Weight training works to
strengthen and tone your muscles. You do not need to work out at
a gym to do weight training. You can put together a program to
strengthen your muscles just by doing a number of exercises at
home. There are many videos and books that have detailed explana-
tions of the types of movements that can strengthen your muscles.
Last, once youve settled into a routine, make sure to shake things
up from time to time. Again, if you nd that you are bored and are
no longer having much fun with your exercise regime, then you will
be more inclined to camp out on the couch. Adding some variety to
your routine can renew your interest. For example, if youve been
walking outdoors but have also always enjoyed bicycling, then try a
local bike path one day just to see how you like it. If you do, then
perhaps alternate between bicycling one day and walking the next.
202 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
If youve been exercising for years, then youll know that nothing
weve listed here is particularly new or earth shattering. These are
simply practical tips that many tness professionals have shared over
time with the general population. Once you get in the groove you
will really start to enjoy the many benets that consistent exercise
has on both your physical and mental well-being. And taking care of
both body and soul is of critical importance to the overall health of a
dialysis patient.
Patients Weigh In
In speaking with a number of patients, we heard a slew of comments
about the dietary and liquid restrictions. As one patient told us, he
and his wife have been known to refer to the dialysis diet as the
diet from hell. Other patients told us stories of terrible cramping
from drinking too much liquid, or landing in the hospital from
overindulging in watermelon. We heard about body aches and itch-
ing from eating too much phosphorous and not taking binders. We
heard complaints that the binders are constipating. All in all, we
heard that curbing desires for certain foods and liquids is tough.
Most of these same patients also told us that they have learned,
albeit the hard way, how to say to themselves, Enough. You have
had enough. They have learned that certain foods and behaviors
arent worth the consequences. They have learned how to read the
labels on food products at the grocery store. They have learned to
retrain their taste buds. They have learned to soak their potatoes
overnight if they want to make their favorite potato salad. They
have learned that if they are going to eat ice cream or a slice of
pizza then they must take their binders and be extra careful for the
next few days. They have learned their limits. And even those who
have learned all this, even they still claim that sticking with this
diet and these limitations is sometimes very hard. Managing your
diet and your liquids now that you are on dialysis probably wont
ever become easy. But like many of the patients weve spoken with,
Adapting to the Dialysis Diet 203
you can learn to give it your best. Your body will respond positively
to your careful attention. Oddly enough, this response will, in a
sense, be a show of gratitude to you for your efforts. Or in simpler
terms, eat well, drink little, and be merry; your body will thank
you for it.
Ten
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.
St. Augustine
One spring day, Susan sat with her co-authors and parents at her home
in Texas. At the time of the interview, Daniel and Margie had stopped
to visit Susans family in the midst of a driving vacation in the Texas
Hill Country. Already having been in Fredericksburg and surround-
ings, they were essentially passing through, taking a prolonged pit stop
in Austin before heading to Houston. Dialysis visits had been planned
for months in advance and to date, had been going smoothly. Daniel
and Margie were having a grand time. It seemed the perfect opportu-
nity to hear what they had to say about stepping out in the world:
206 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
Can you tell me about the rst time you traveled after Daniel began
dialysis?
Daniel: I went on dialysis June 20, 1999, shortly after undergo-
ing a triple bypass on my heart. That following September we trav-
eled for the rst time. We went from Saturday morning to Monday
morning so that I didnt have to dialyze away from home.
Margie: We wanted to get away and needed a change of scene,
but we were nervous about leaving the house. We drove to Lakeside,
Michigan, which was only eighty miles from home, just to build
some courage. It wasnt a great trip, but we do consider it a success.
We walked around. We saw the lake. We tried to lift our spirits after
Dan had been so sick.
What was your next trip? How did you choose your destination?
Margie: Our next trip was two months later for Thanksgiving.
None of our kids lived nearby and for special occasions and holidays
we like to be where they are. That Thanksgiving we ew to Califor-
nia to see your sister and her family.
Daniel: I went to a wonderful dialysis center in Mountainview,
California. The staff was extremely receptive. Over the years, it has
turned out to be my favorite clinic that Ive traveled to because Ive
been there so many times. Im as comfortable there as I am at my
home clinic, even perhaps more comfortable.
What did you learn as you built on your successes, and began to travel
more frequently and farther from your home?
Margie: That rst year, we traveled to Florida during peak tourist
season and learned that when you go to a popular resort area at the
height of the season you shouldnt expect to receive good dialysis
times. The locals get the best times. Then the folks who live there for
a few months in the winter get the second-best times. The short-term
vacationers are left with the least desirable times.
Margie explains that while in Florida Daniel had to dialyze at
8 p.m. in a small town forty-ve minutes away from the hotel. That
meant she had to spend three hours in the small town by herself at
Traveling and Planning while on Dialysis 207
not recommending they travel. Rather, the persons who are rela-
tively well, who are working and are leading a fairly normal life, they
should travel.
How do clinics abroad differ from those in the United States?
Daniel: For the most part, dialysis is really a universal
treatmentalthough Ive noticed that clinics in other countries are
much more generous about providing food than those in the
United States. I couldnt believe in Argentina they gave us cookies,
juice, and cake! And in England they gave us an assortment of tea
sandwiches, tea, and cookies. Certainly the most fun that Ive ever
had at dialysis was in Israel. It is the only place in the world where
I really looked forward to going. The chairs are much closer to-
gether so people can play chess, checkers, or cards and they have
tremendous political arguments with each other. The time just flies
there!
Think back over the trips youve taken; what have been your favorites
and why?
Daniel: My favorite trip was the two-week cruise around Cape
Horn from Buenos Aires to Chile. I enjoyed the experience of being
on the sea a lot. When I rst went on dialysis I didnt know this was
possible. But I found out that most of the new, large boats offer
trips with dialysis on board. For me, sailing and being on a ship was
exhilarating.
Margie: If I had to choose one trip, Id say it has been this driving
trip to Fredricksburg, Texas, and the Hill Country. It was like the old
days when I was a child, and wed get in the car and go. This trip was
just the two of us, two kids on the road. But truthfully, for me, every
trip has been a favorite because taking a trip is like normality. You
dont let your illness own you. You are a person who just happens to
be on dialysis. Traveling is not like beating the system. Traveling is
like winning.
As the three sat together at Susans dining room table, they n-
ished their conversation and moved on to an even more important
212 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
topic of discussion: what to have for lunch. Susan turned off her
tape-recorder and put away her notes. While she did so, she felt
grateful that Daniel and Margie were willing to make the journey to
her hometown time and again. She reected on their adventure-
some, courageous spirits, which had willed them onward despite the
burdens of dialysis. Never before had Susan understood just how far
Daniel and Margie have traveled in the past seven years. They hadnt
simply crossed state lines and bodies of water; they had traversed
their fears. And as with many travels that span a divide, theirs had
transported them to an entirely new place.
Fear Number 2: The staff wont know you and so they wont be able
to provide the right or best kind of care.
As Daniel said, when you are new to a clinic as a traveler, the staff
makes an extra effort to treat you well. They are extremely kind. This
is true the world over. Also, it helps to be friendly and positive when
214 D i a l y s i s w i t h o u t Fe a r
know somebody or nobody, you will need to gure out what your
comfort level is. Plus you may see your comfort level grow as you be-
come more accustomed to traveling. In the meantime, as you are
building up your courage you might want to do what Margie some-
times does when she gets nervous. She silently hums these lyrics from
The King and I: Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect and
whistle a happy tune so no one will suspect Im afraid.
They explained Daniels medical issues and were assured that he (al-
though not Margie) would receive a seat. In that instance they asked
immediately to speak to a manager. Their advice: if a travel crisis
arises always stay calm, be nice, and if at all possible talk to whoever
is in charge. As it turned out, they both made it on the ight.
regarding how much time they require. Outside of the United States
you will need six to eight weeks advance notice. Before leaving on
your trip, call your destination to ensure that any supplies you have
ordered for delivery have arrived. If using CAPD, you will need to
account for a clean space where you can do your exchanges while
traveling. If you are using CCPD, there are relatively small machines
in existence that can be carried onto airplanes and used in hotel
rooms or RVs. And again, even if you do not plan on stepping foot
inside a dialysis clinic, you should still make arrangements with a lo-
cal clinic to provide backup in the event of an emergency while you
are away. Your social worker can help you to provide them with the
necessary medical documentation or you may carry it with you.
Last, if you are awaiting a transplant you may also travel. How-
ever, you should rst consult your transplant coordinator about any
travel plans. Depending on your destination, you will either put
yourself on hold temporarily while you are out of town, or you will
provide a method of contact should you be close enough to return in
time should an organ become available. In reality we nd that many
patients, as they get closer to the top of the transplant list, can still
travel but often choose not to.
Plan Ahead
If you plan on traveling, the social worker at your clinic will become
extremely important to you in the planning process. When you rst
start mapping out your trip, youll need to provide your social
worker with your itinerary. If there are several possible dialysis loca-
tions in the city, you may want to do a little bit of the legwork by go-
ing on the Internet and nding which one is closest to where youll
be staying. As a visiting patient you dont usually have much say over
where or what times you receive your treatment. Basically, you take
what you can get. However, if a specic time of day or a specic
clinic is preferred, let the social worker know. That way he or she is
aware of your preferences and can try to accommodate them.
Traveling and Planning while on Dialysis 219
Dialyze at Sea
As Daniel mentioned, there are many opportunities to dialyze on
board major cruise lines. Dialysis usually takes place while you are
at sea so that you can explore the ports of call. There is a nephrol-
ogist on board and on call for the entire voyage. Dialysis at sea al-
lowed Daniel to travel to exotic destinations while dialyzing from
a comfortable home base. He never had to be concerned about lo-
cating the dialysis center. He simply had to leave his room and
walk down several corridors of the ship! Below are a couple of
the companies weve come across that specialize in dialysis travel
at sea:
Dialysis at Sea
www.DialysisatSea.com
Telephone in the United States and Canada: 1-800-544-7604
International: 01-101-727-518-7311
Dialysis on Demand Inc. Dialysis Dreams
www.dialysisdreams.com
Telephone: 1-954-527-3852
his breathing was becoming more labored. He called his home clinic
and asked if he could move his dialysis earlier in the day on Monday.
They were able to t him in. Now he has learned that if he is in a sim-
ilar situation in the future he will request an earlier session in advance.
Scissors
Gauze pads
Tape
Band-Aids
Cortisporin or Bacitracin
Latex gloves
Thermometer
Daniel and Margie always carry their medications with them, in-
cluding extra medications should their trip be extended for some un-
foreseen reason. At the time of writing this book, security measures
taken by major airlines were subject to change in response to the on-
going level of threat of terrorism. While wed advise you to carry all
critical medical equipment, medication, and medical documents on-
board and with you at all times, we recommend that you nd out
the latest rules and regulations regarding carry-on items. By the time
you are reading this, they may have changed or they may require you
to gather specic documentation in advance.
As mentioned earlier articial erythropoietin helps dialysis pa-
tients ward off anemia. In the United States, this is an expensive
drug, which is covered by Medicare. Outside of the United States it
Traveling and Planning while on Dialysis 225
And should you be very worried about the threat of a disaster and
managing dialysis in its midst you will be comforted to hear that when
Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast in 2005, every single one of the
dialysis patients was successfully triaged and cared for at alternative
centers. We spoke with the director of the largest dialysis center in
Houston who explained to us that many dialysis centers surrounding
the areas damaged by the storm provided around-the-clock care. If
needed, centers would have shifts in the middle of the night. Initially,
some individuals had to wait a day or two longer than usual to receive
care, but ultimately everyone was accounted for and all those who were
uprooted found temporary or permanent new clinics to call home.
All Systems Go
Whether you are contemplating emergency preparedness or your
dream vacation, life as a dialysis patient very much revolves around
planning. Now it is time to make a plan. If you never cared in the
least bit for travel before you went on dialysis, we dont expect you
to put down this book and immediately call your travel agent. But
if you have an adventurous soul or a yen for travel, then just be-
cause a piece of your body doesnt work properly doesnt mean you
have to stifle your desires to meet new people and see new sights.
And if you are on hemodialysis, you now have the opportunity to
have a birds-eye view into a world that most tourists never see! You
can meet and speak to people at your destination clinics that you
never would have met. Most run-of-the-mill tourists dont have
such a sure-fire way to meet locals, but you have an automatic en-
tre to the natives. Regardless of whether you do self-dialysis or in-
center dialysis, travel is a wonderful, healthy form of escapism and
even though your baggage (literally and figuratively) will follow
you wherever you go, you can lighten your load by taking the leap.
Afterword
AccessGeneral term used to describe the site where the blood will enter and exit
your body during hemodialysis. Also commonly referred to as lifeline. Tempo-
rary accesses are typically used short term whereas permanent accesses are used
long term.
Arteriovenous (AV) stulaA type of permanent access used for hemodialysis
surgically created by attaching a vein directly to an artery.
Arteriovenous (AV) graftA type of permanent access used for hemodialysis sur-
gically created by attaching an artery indirectly to a vein using a small plastic
tube.
AnemiaA decrease in the amount of red blood cells that are needed to carry
enough oxygen to meet the bodys needs. Healthy kidneys produce the hor-
mones needed to create red blood cells. Chronic kidney failure can cause ane-
mia. Symptoms of anemia include lethargy, lack of appetite, and shortness of
breath.
Blood urea nitrogen (BUN)A measure of the waste product of protein metabo-
lism. Its removal is a marker of the efciency of dialysis.
CalciumA mineral that is important for strong bones.
CatheterA exible hollow tube that is inserted into and juts out from the pa-
tients body. Catheters are sometimes used as temporary accesses for hemodialy-
sis and are the main conduit for PD exchanges to the abdomen.
Chronic kidney diseaseThe term used to generically describe conditions that
damage your kidneys and decrease their ability to function properly.
Chronic renal failureCondition in which the kidneys fail permanently. The
nonworking kidneys cannot function again as in acute renal failure, which can
be reversed.
232 Appendix A
Listed below are just a handful of the resources currently available to aid renal care
patients and their family members. These are the resources that weve found to be
particularly helpful and will likely be a good starting point for you as you seek out
additional information.
Kidney Options
www.kidneyoptions.com
Educational website sponsored by Fresenius Medical Care North America. Frese-
nius Medical Care is the worlds largest provider of dialysis products and services.
Kidney School
www.kidneyschool.org
Interactive web-based learning program in twenty-minute modules designed to help
educate kidney patients so that they can take a more active role in their health care.
Life Options
c/o Medical Education Institute, Inc.
414 DOnofrio Drive Suite 200
Madison, WI 53719
1-800-468-7777
www.lifeoptions.org
This organization has developed an abundance of useful materials on how to live
well with kidney disease.
NKF has a wealth of materials including newsletters, booklets, brochures, and mag-
azines available on all topics pertaining to kidney disease.
Transplant Living
www.transplantliving.org
A website operated by the United Network for Organ Sharing (UNOS) that pro-
vides transplant information, resources, and tools for patients, families, and friends.
Travel Resources
Dialysis at Sea
13555 Automobile Blvd, Suite 220
Clearwater, FL 33762
1-800-544-7604
www.dialysisatsea.com
The largest worldwide provider of dialysis services aboard cruise ships.
238 Appendix B
Global Dialysis
www.globaldialysis.com
A website created to aid dialysis travelers in locating dialysis centers around the
globe. Includes a database of centers as well as resources and information pertaining
to dialysis and travel.
MedjetAssistance
Birmingham International Airport
4900 69th Street North
Birmingham, Alabama 35206
1-800-963-3538
www.medjetassistance.com
Provider of annual membership plans, similar to an insurance plan, that would
cover the costs of an emergency medical evacuation from anywhere in the world to
a hospital of your choice.
Medicare
1-800-MEDICARE (1-800-633-4227)
www.Medicare.gov
The ofcial U.S. government site for people with Medicare. Information, resources,
and tools pertaining to Medicare.
RxAssist
www.rxassist.org
A comprehensive web directory of patient assistance programs run by pharmaceuti-
cal companies to provide low-cost or no-cost medications to patients in need.
Legal Resources
Books
aakpRENALIFE
A publication of the American Association of Kidney Patients
[email protected]
1-800-749-2257
Published every other month; features a range of educational information for renal
patients.
Family Focus
1-800-622-9010
www.kidney.org
Helpful Resources 243
Preface
1. Axtmann, Dialysis An Unanticipated Journey, 17.
Chapter One
1. National Kidney Foundation, www.kidney.org, 20 million Americans1 in 9
US adultshave CKD and another 20 million more are at increased risk. . . .
Nearly half of people with an advanced form of kidney disease do not know
they have weak or failing kidneys, according to recent research published in the
American Journal of Kidney Diseases, the ofcial journal of the National Kidney
Foundation.
2. Lopresi, At the Olympics, a Fathers Love Knows No Limits,
www.usatoday.com, August 20, 2004.
Chapter Three
1. Department of Health and Human Services, National Institutes of Health, Na-
tional Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, Division of
Kidney Urologic and Hematologic Diseases. United States Renal Data System
2005 Annual Data Report: Atlas of End-Stage Renal Disease in the United States,
97.
Chapter Four
1. The Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network. www.optn.org, Kidney
Kaplan-Meier Graft Survival Rates for Transplants Performed: 19972004.
Search National Data, Survival, Kidney, Graft, by Age.
2. The Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network. www.optn.org, Kidney
Kaplan-Meier Graft Survival Rates for Transplants Performed: 19972004.
Search National Data, Survival, Kidney, Graft, by Age.
246 Notes
Chapter Six
1. Riis, J., et al. Ignorance of Hedonic Adaptation to Hemodialysis: A Study Us-
ing Ecological Momentary Assessment, 39.
2. Watnick S., P. Kirwin., R. Mahnensmith, et al., The Prevalence and Treatment
of Depression among Patients Starting Dialysis, 105110.
Guzman, S. J., and Nicassio, P. M., The Contribution of Negative and Posi-
tive Illness Schemas to Depression in Patients with End-Stage Renal Disease,
517534.
Chapter Eight
1. United States Department of Justice Civil Rights Division, A Guide to Disabil-
ity Rights Laws, 1.
2. United States Department of Labor. www.dol.gov/esa, Compliance
AssistanceFamily Medical Leave Act (FMLA).
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Bibliography 249
AABD. See Aid to the Aged, Blind, and Articial kidney. See Dialyzer
Disabled Assumptions, 162
Abnormal occurrences, 4849 Attitudes, 115, 132, 186. See also Mood;
Access, 3, 15, 3336, 44, 65, 137, 148 Negativity; Positivity
clotting of, 38 AV stulas. See Arteriovenous stulas
nal check of, 38 AV grafts. See Arteriovenous grafts
infection of, 38
permanent, 3335, 53 Balancing function of kidneys, 31
temporary, 3334, 36 Best Companies to Work for in America, 172
Acquaintances, talking to, 15759 Binders, 52, 62, 202
ADA. See Americans with Disabilities Act Blood
Advocates, 20, 1045, 10811. See also clean, 44
Caregivers dirty, 44
Age, 8586. See also Elderly fear of, 123
Aid to the Aged, Blind, and Disabled ow rate of, 45
(AABD), 177 transfusions, 58
Airplanes, 62. See also Travel volume, 43, 4546
Alcohol abuse, 137 Blood pressure, 4446, 53, 81
American Association of Kidney Patients, 112 blood volume and, 4546
Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), dialysates and, 6263
16667, 169 liquid retention and, 44
Anemia, 32, 58, 81, 163 liquid weight and, 42
Anesthesia Bones, 8, 52, 82, 90
general, 35 Breakdown, emotional, 115, 128
topical, 45 Brie cheese, 195
Anger, 12122, 12628, 134, 139
Anxiety, 1618, 12125, 132, 134, 144 Calcication, of heart, 52
about blood, 123 Calcium, 118, 188
about death, 123, 13940 Cannulation site, 45
about disasters, 124 CAPD. See Continuous ambulatory
about needles, 123 peritoneal dialysis
about unknown, 25, 27 Caregivers. See also Doctors; Family;
control, about losing, 124 Professionals; Spouse
nancial concerns and, 125 assisting, 15657
travel, 2078, 21213, 217 capability of, 20
Arteriovenous (AV) stulas, 15, 3435 caring for, 15254
Arteriovenous (AV) grafts, 15, 3435, 38, 53, independence of, 38
117 primary, 14043
252 Index
Peritonitis, 62 Respect, 67
Pharmacist, 105 Respite care, 130
Phosphorus, 5254, 62, 118, 18788 Restrictions, 6
Physical therapist, 105 dietary, 32, 98, 118, 156, 18384, 18789
Plasma, 43 on liquids, 6263, 98, 118, 18384, 19699
Polycystic kidney disease, 23 on travel, 26
Positivity, 8, 18, 39, 13435, 185, 189 Retirement, 17577
Potassium, 62, 118, 18788, 194 Rights
Potatoes, 194, 202 of family, 168
Pregnancy, 14950 of patients, 16667, 170
Preparing for Emergencies: A Guide for Riis, Jason, 114
People on Dialysis, 226 Role models, 135
Professional counselors, 129, 13132
Professionals Salt. See Sodium
capabilities of, 20 Satisfaction, 37
challenges for, 1056 Schedule, 64, 156, 16466, 169
standards for, 50 exible work, 17071
trust of, 22, 69 travel, 225
Professions, of dialysis patients, 23, 161 School, 2224, 161, 16366
Prospective employers, disclosure to, 16870 nancial assistance for, 164
Protein, 187, 189 home, 163, 165
Psychiatrists. See Professional counselors practicalities of, 16577
Psychological impacts, 11416 Self-consciousness, 146, 148, 200
aftershocks, 12128 Self-esteem, 5253, 187
anger, 12122, 12628, 134, 139 Sex life, 89, 13839
anxiety, 1618, 27, 12125, 132, 134, 139 compromise in, 147
40, 144, 2078, 21213, 217 female patients and, 148
depression, 16, 115, 12122, 12526, 132, information on, 143
134, 139 literature on, 139
on family, 11719, 121, 125, 127, 139 medications for, 145, 14748
healthy coping mechanisms for, 12933 PD and, 146, 148
patients perspective on, 11621 physical barriers to, 145
on sex life, 14546 psychological barriers to, 14546
shock, 115, 134 redening, 147
Psychosis, 128 talking about, 146
Shock, 115, 134
Quality of life, 74 Siblings, 154
Questions, 22, 98, 156 Sleep, 66
Social life, 163
Real kilograms, 4142 Social worker, 161
Red blood cells, 43 role of, 103
Rehabilitation services, 18182 talking with, 131, 181
Relationships. See Interpersonal travel consultation with, 218
relationships Sodium, 18788
Relaxation, 37, 45 Spirituality, 129, 133. See also faith
Renal Data System Annual Report, 86 Spontaneity, 1415
Renal decline, 34, 52. See also Kidney disease Spouse, 11720, 130, 136, 13842, 153. See also
Renal failure. See Kidney disease Caregivers; Marriage
258 Index