Jaimee Hamasaki

Sophia Bamert

UWP 1 Section 21

9 June 2017

Portfolio Reflection Essay

Dear Sophia,

Upon enrolling in the UWP class, I did not have a great understanding of the concept of

literacy. I thought of it as nothing more than simply the ability to read and write. As I have

developed in this class, I have grown in my understanding of literacy and quite frankly, become

more literate. I now understand that academic literacy is the ability to read, understand, analyze,

write about, and discuss academic texts. The assignments weve completed have given me the

opportunity to think critically about reading, writing, and analyzing texts. Before taking this

class, I had a five paragraph essay mindset. After reading Marie Foleys Unteaching the Five

Paragraph Essay, I was no longer under this impression which allowed for me to no longer be

constricted to a word count or a five-paragraph restriction. Little things like this are ultimately

what contributed to my learning in this course. I believe that my final portfolio is representative

of my growth as a student and satisfies the learning outcomes focused on in UWP.

A prominent aspect of this course was understanding rhetoric and I believe I have

obtained a greater understanding of its concepts through the process of doing rhetorical analysis

on my discourse community project. In my revision of the discourse community essay, I chose

to redefine my argument (purpose) and clarify it in a way that the reader had a clear vision of

what the paper was going to be about. After reading over my argument in the first draft and
getting feedback from my peers, I found that my argument was very unclear to the audience.

Initially my argument was As a whole, I hope to uncover the best method for coaching and the

most effective form of communication for coaches in order to achieve success for their players.

The problem with that statement is that there is no argument within that sentence; instead, its

my research question. I chose to revise this into a more clear argument by changing it to For

this reason, I hope by writing this paper I uncover the most effective form of communication in

this discourse community which is taking a positive approach to coaching and also highlight the

reasons in which coaches shouldnt use aggressive communication with their players. This

offered a better understanding of what I was focusing on in my paper which was that positive

approaches to coaching are more beneficial than negative ones.

The learning outcome of processes was evident in my revision of the place narrative 2.0.

Processes requires major revisions and editing multiple drafts based on feedback from peers and

the instructor. In my place narrative 2.0 essay, I took your comments and my peers comments

mainly to clarify certain things that were unclear in my essay and also provide a deeper analysis

to the quotes I collected from my interviews. One of the main problems was my inability to

offer my own analysis or reactions from my interviews. I simply stated quotes without offering

any explanations or interpretations. You had mentioned that it felt like a transcript and I couldnt

have agreed more. In my revision process, I chose to present my own interpretations/reactions of

the quotes and my opinions on whether or not I agreed with what my interviewee said. By doing

this, I exhibited the ability to relate the information collected from my interview and apply it to

my own argument/opinions.
 I utilized the knowledge of conventions aspect by being able to distinguish the difference

between writing the place narrative 2.0 and the discourse community essay. The place narrative

2.0 was written more informally as opposed to the discourse community essay which was a

research paper and involved more academic sources. The place narrative was written to a

different audience than the discourse community. Since my audience was my parents in the

place narrative, I included a more unofficial and daily-conversation diction and my research

involved my sister and my mom. This differed from the discourse community in that the main

sources of research was that of academic journals and articles-not so much my family members.

The nature of the discourse community project was drastically different and therefore provoked

me to use a different type of discourse. Furthermore, the prompts were different; the place

narrative was a narrative whereas the discourse community project was a research paper. The

way in which I wrote both were drastically different.

The research portion of the learning outcomes was attained in the discourse community

project for obvious reasons. I was able to find at least four scholarly peer-reviewed articles as

secondary sources to enhance my argument. By using these articles, I enforced my argument of

why I think a positive coaching technique is the most effective form of communication between

a coach-athlete relationship. In chose one particular article, called Aggressive Communication

in the Coach-Athlete Relationship, in order to highlight the negative consequences that comes

with coaching in a negative manner. Instead of only offering and promoting positive techniques

to coaching in my paper, I thought it would be interesting and beneficial to provide reasons in

which coaches shouldnt use the aggressive approach to coaching.

outcomes in this UWP course. The ability to understand and utilize reflective writing was

clearly apparent in one of the articles we read for one of our forum posts. This article, called

Reflective Writing and the Revision Process by Giles helped clarify the significance of writing

a reflection. In fact, this essay is an example of metacognition by allowing me to reflect on the

development of my assignments that Ive written this quarter. The cover memos that were

required in our revisions are also examples of metacognition. By reflecting on my writing in the

place narrative and the discourse community project, I was able to develop my purpose, figure

out my relation to my audience, uncover problems with my writing processes, set goals for

revision, and make decisions about language, style, and format.

If I had more time to work on my portfolio, I wouldve liked to conduct further research

on my discourse community. In my conclusion, I left my readers with the question of what

perpetuates how coaches take the aggressive or nonaggressive approach to coaching. In other

words, what prompts them to use one coaching style over the other? Some factors may include

past experiences of coaching in their lives that made them want to coach either in the same way

or differently. These are some questions that came up while I was researching my topic and due

to the limited amount of time we had to write this essay, I wasnt able to delve in on every

speculation that I came across.

In conclusion, I think I learned a lot of helpful skills that I can utilize throughout my

college education. I intend to employ the strategy of reflective thinking and cover memos not so

much for a grade but for my own benefit. I found that writing down my purpose, audience, etc.,

gave me a better understanding of what it was I was writing about. It also highlighted the areas
in which I needed to work more on. I think one of the most useful things I learned in this course

was how to write a research paper. I was never taught how to write one and by having the

opportunity to do so, it served as practice for future attempts. Im sure Ill have to write research

papers in the future and so its good to know how to find research (i.e. the UC Davis database)

and citing that research in a particular format (i.e. APA). Overall, knowing the five different

learning outcomes and their definitions will help me in my writing in the future. I think I can

agree that Ive become a better writer after taking UWP. In addition to offering my argument as

to how Ive met the UWP 1 learning outcomes, I would also like to share my goals that I wrote

in my first journal entry and my reasoning behind why I think Ive achieved them after taking

this course. In my first journal entry, I mentioned that My goals that I hope to accomplish by

the end of the quarter is 1) get more comfortable and acquainted with speaking up about my

ideas in front of the whole class and not being as restrained or shy, 2) learn tips on how to

annotate readings/articles in an efficient way, 3) get my points across clearly and effectively, 4)

learn communication skills, and lastly, become a better writer/reader. In order to accomplish

these goals, Ill need to communicate with my peers more and hopefully well be able to bounce

ideas off of each other to create a bigger and better idea. I also need to communicate more with

the instructor and not be afraid to ask for help when I need it. Going to office hours is a great

way in order to accomplish that and the sooner the better. Ive always struggled with reading

comprehension which is one of the reasons why I chose to take this class. Id like to take this

opportunity in thanking you for creating an environment that allowed me to achieve all these

goals. 1) You encouraged a positive and comfortable environment for me to be able to express

my thoughts and opinions, 2) reading the articles you assigned really allowed me to practice my
annotating skills, 3) I felt that the small groups were really effective in allowing me to get my

point across before speaking in front of the whole class, 4) the small groups helped me

communicate with lots of different people, and lastly, I definitely believe that I became a better

writer. Thank you for a great quarter!

Sincerely,

Jaimee Hamasaki