Williams 1

Senior Research Project

It seems easy to place words on paper, What if I was second?

A simple noun, adjective, and verb Would he still compare me to my mom after
the divorce?
Doesnt seem like much labor.
Or say he hits me because I am too much
But alas, my brain is struggling like her?
With this daunting task Or knock my plate of food
Of remembering Because he felt I was being rude
What makes me me For asking for more of his attention?
It isnt my hair I dont know
Or my constant supply of Arizona Tea I just went with flow
Or the fact that I freak out at the sight of a B My head was knocked into walls
Nah, theres moments in my life Shoved against cars
That have placed me where I am today. I looked up to the stars
Things that have caused me much strife And whispered God?
But I really wouldnt have it any other way You still care?

My fathers stares
Defining moment number one Were ones of a man that was broken
This may be a hard pill for you to swallow No, shaken
But when I was young No, I will not sit here and sympathize
I was sort of hallow A man that cared more about a womans
Now my father was nice at first thighs

I was daddys little girl a first Than his own children.

But maybe that was a curse 8th grade, I had to leave.

Me being born first And I did.

 Williams 2

Dont say I hid. All the popular things

I told him I couldnt live in that household I tried it

He said do as youre told It wasnt for me

What did I tell him? But they couldnt see

No That I was just being

A child shouldnt have to be in this pain Me

Thinking shes just a dirty stain Crying happened often

A thought that didnt need to be explained I hoped they would soften

Told shell be disowned if she comes out as Their hearts

gay
So we could start
So why stay?
My healing process
NEXT
Never happened

One day
Defining Moment number two
They began to play
Kids can be so cruel
With my school supplies.
Why does my pain give you pleasure
Give it back!
Do yall measure
They laughed in fact
The tears velocity as it runs down my face?
An threw my things across the room
Kindergarten through eighth
I was tired of being
Full of mistakes
Tired
Wearing the wrong clothes
So my hand fired
Or saying the wrong phrases
A slap to her face
Can have a group of people hating on you
Did I get in trouble?
For ages
Yes
I was weak minded
But did my bullies leave me alone after that?
 Williams 3

Hell yes I started humming

Less stress Hymns about joy

No mess And I basked in my success

They confessed This is thanks to being able to have

Their sins A great school staff

Ive been gaining confidence That helped me get to this point

Ever since Now your girl has options

NEXT But which place did I choose?

Ugh, its easier trying to buy shoes

Defining moment number three NEXT

I am not the smartest

Or the brightest Critical choice number 2

Not the slowest Before we get into

Just average Which college I knew

Not the supreme lettuce Was for me

But the cheap cabbage Lets get into my choice of

However I knew I wanted to go to college High schools

To gain more knowledge I attended San Diego

Ill be able to acknowledge All four years

As I get older. My start

Who applies to seven places Was with Arts

With no clear idea where Trying to become a singer

They want to go (Then reality hit)

So Causing a fit

When the letters started coming Within my mental

 Williams 4

Psychology was my new career As we grow, we change

But a new fear Mentally and physically.

Arose I started having a desire

I froze On attending an HBCU

Arts was going to close I wouldve never knew

So where do I go now? Spelman was my goal

I.S. or SciTech? And I did get in

Both were more challenging So the next step was to visit

But one was more sinister That kind of crushed my spirit

We dont want Arts kids here! They werent what I thought they were

Theyll corrupt us, I fear! Caused my brain to stir

Said the ignorant I.S. kids. I also got into UCLA

So my choice then seemed obvious. But I had no desire to go

Join the school that hated me So

Or the school that opened its arms Whats left?

Well SciTech here I come. Well next to Spelman, you see

And here I stayed! Is Clark Atlanta University

NEXT Part of the AUC

I fell in love, but I was broke

Critical choice number one So how was I to attend this wonderful

university?
The weight of THIS decision
NROTC provided a full ride
Felt like a ton
So Im taking everything in stride
My dream school used to be
I have my head held up with pride
UCLA
I see now that I have really tried
But you know what they say
 Williams 5

To be the best I can be Shes my rock

Which is just being My anchor

Me She helps me see reality

NEXT And face facts

I love my mother

Most influential person? And thats that.

This is so obvious

More so than my previous High school was doozy

Decision Made me feel choosy

My mother is my number one All these decisions

The main song to be sung Laying heavy

She may get on my nerves BUT I am almost done

But I know I also get on hers It was a lot of fun

I love her to death But I really wouldnt do it again

And even beyond that Word of advice

She stepped in Live life

When my father wouldnt After high school, youre an adult

Taking both roles You may want to exult

Filling the holes And wish to grow up

Helping me set my goals But trust, these four years of high school

While also completing hers Was more than enough!