Okafor's Law Draft One by Jude Idada
Okafor's Law Draft One by Jude Idada
Okafor's Law Draft One by Jude Idada
Written by
Jude Idada
Two MEN are filling some large gourds with fresh frothing
palm wine from an even larger plastic keg.
An SUV drives into the compound. There are three MEN in it.
It pulls up beside a blood red Mercedes Benz coupe on which
is the license plate FREAKSUNITED.
Doors open and the men step out. They are middle aged, well
dressed and dashingly handsome. They zero in on the couple.
AKIN
See whos here?
FAROUK
Kai! this guy sha... dan iska...
where is the bastard?
They look towards the newly painted house. A young LADY steps
out of the main entrance. Her face lights up when she sees
them. She hurries towards them, right into the outstretched
arms of Ikenna.
IKENNA
Ah Nonye... Kedu?
NONYE
Odinma.
NONYE (CONTD)
Welcome.
IKENNA
How is everyone?
2.
NONYE
We have been waiting for you...
Uncle SOJ is here already.
IKENNA
When did he come?
NONYE
Last night.
FAROUK
(murmurs)
Dan boroba... Shege Yaro!
SOJ
The three musketeers have landed.
SOJ (CONTD)
I hail you my uncommon brothers.
AKIN
Get your ass down here my friend.
VVVBBBBBBBBBBBBBBSOJ
(laughing)
Yes sir.
He does a sharp turn military style and disappears into the
house.
IKENNA
Where is Adaora?
NONYE
In her room?
IKENNA
Did SOJ sleep here?
FAROUK
I told you guys... There is no hope
for him.
3.
NONYE
I will go wake her...
IKENNA
No... Let her sleep... Go tell your
parents we are here.
SOJ
(smiling)
What took you so long brothers?
IKENNA
I see why you werent picking your
calls.
SOJ
Meant to call you back, but...
AKIN
Before or after you are done with
his cousin?
SOJ gets to them.
SOJ
Guys come on... dont give a dog a
bad name...
FAROUK
Ah thank God you know that you are
dog.
SOJ
I swear I...
IKENNA
Haba... She is my cousin... dont
you respect anything?
SOJ
She is my ex too, remember?
4.
AKIN
You were twenty one, she was
seventeen... this is like eleven
years later...
FAROUK
... And she is getting married...
SOJ
Believe me, I came here only to
help, you know... support the
family... Like you all are doing?
IKENNA
By straffing my cousin right?
SOJ
Look guys... I cant lie to you...
it was just talking and you know...
reminiscing and before I knew it...
I was tearing a condom and...
Ikenna pushes him away and starts walking towards the house.
IKENNA
I dont want to hear the details...
you just a messed up animal.
Farouk and Akin walk after him. Each one looking at SOJ and
shaking their head. SOJ calls after them.
SOJ
Guys... dont blame me... Its
Okafors law.
FREEZE FRAME.
UNFREEZE FRAME.
INSERT DISAPPEARS.
IKENNA
You are such a loser.
5.
ADAORA
Ikenna!... you made it.
Ikenna, Farouk and Akin are watching from the canopy beneath
which they are seating. They are not amused.
SOJ
How many times, do you want me to
apologise?
They do not respond.
SOJ (CONTD)
I am the victim here guys... These
women just come at me. They...
IKENNA
Okafors law right?
SOJ nods.
IKENNA (CONTD)
You want to make peace?
SOJ nods.
6.
IKENNA (CONTD)
Then you will prove to us that this
your law works... a bet... we pick
three of your exes... we give you 3
months... you straff them all...
you show us evidence on tape... or
you loose your entire High life
collection.
SOJ
Come on... not my collection...
IKENNA
That or nothing.
SOJ
Whats in it for me by the way?
IKENNA
My friendship
SOJ
(amused)
Your friendship?
FAROUK
Our friendship.
SOJ
Come on guys... You cant do me
like this.
SOJ (CONTD)
(sighs)
Okay... who are the exes?
IKENNA
Tinu Savage
7.
SOJ
What?!
CUT TO:
PASTOR
... and God is saying to you, that
no matter the challenge you
confront, no matter the
impossibility of the situation as
long as you are anchored on the
word, soaked in the blood...
TINU
(screams)
Glory! Glory!! Glory!!!
FREEZE FRAME.
BACK TO:
IKENNA
Esohe Akenzua
SOJ
You cant be serious... that is
like virtually impossible
FREEZE FRAME.
CUT TO:
8.
HUSBAND
Four... three... two... one...
Happy Birthday!
Esohe blows out the large single candle on the cake and cuts
it. Everyone begins clapping. She straightens up and kisses
him deeply.
FREEZE FRAME.
BACK TO:
SOJ
Everyone knows that Esohes
marriage is rock solid, there is
no...
IKENNA
Tonye Clark.
SOJ
Oh now!... its clear you want my
high life collection and youre
tired of being my friends... You
all know that Tonye hates my guts.
FREEZE FRAME.
CUT TO:
The bar is small but classy. There are PATRONS seated around.
At the bar counter itself is TONYE. She is dressed in high
taste and is smoking a cigarette. A bottle of whiskey sits in
front of her.
9.
As she makes to leave. The man holds her by the arm and pulls
her back. She snatches her arm away and gives him a hot slap.
FREEZE FRAME.
BACK TO:
IKENNA
Are you in or out?
SOJ
Okay... Im in... but I need six
months.
IKENNA
Three months.
SOJ
There is no...
IKENNA
Three months.
There is a moment.
SOJ
Okay... fine... I cant promise a
recording of me straffing them.
IKENNA
That is non-negotiable.
SOJ
You guys have to give...
FAROUK
Dauda... he said are you in or out?
IKENNA
Great... Once we get back to
Lagos... You will drop your
collection at Donalds gallery...
he will hold it for the duration of
the bet... once you do that... the
clock starts... is that okay?
NONYE
Adaora says you should come dance
with her.
IKENNA
Farouk... Akin... Lets go
celebrate.
They both stand up and alongside Nonye and Ikenna, they all
walk to the dancing couple and begin dancing and spraying
them.
SOJs car drives down the bridge alongside other cars. The
Lagos skyline can be seen in the background.
He picks another one and opens it, the word he sees is TONYE.
He sits there for a moment, clasps his hand together and bows
his head. After a short while, he raises his head and makes
the sign of the cross.
SOJ turns to a large picture of IKENNA, AKIN, FAROUK and
HIMSELF in speedos at a beach. He smiles and then exhales
loudly, before he picks up his cell phone and places a call.
SOJ
Hey Ikenna... How far?... you still
mad eh?... Okay, lets get it
rolling... Ill bring the
collection to the gallery tomorrow
for 5... its not fair man but its
all good... Easy.
He hangs up, places his phone back on the table, takes off
his shirt to show rippling lean muscles and walks towards an
adjoining room.
12.
There is a state of the art sound system against the far wall
and large cushions on the rug on the floor, while a single
white couch sits against the opposite wall.
There are three framed pictures on the table; one with Esohe,
her husband and their two kids, the other with Esohe and her
husnand, the last with Esohe and her two kids. They are all
filled with smiles and love.
SECRETARY (V.O.)
Maam, there is a Soji Fernandez
here to see you.
ESOHE
(surprised)
SOJ?
SECRETARY
No Maam... his name is Soji Fer...
ESOHE
I heard you... okay... give me two
minutes and send him in.
13.
She adjusts the framed pictures on the desk, so that they are
outwards facing, then she leans back on her chair.
SOJ
Esohe... woow.
Esohe responds with a smile and stands up. She offers him a
handshake.
ESOHE
And what do I owe this most
unexpected visit to, Mr Fernandez?
SOJ
Cut the formalities... Im the same
SOJ... remember.
ESOHE
Mr Fernandez will do... please sit.
SOJ hesitates for a moment and then sits down. His eyes fall
to the framed pictures that are looking out at him.
ESOHE (CONTD)
So what can I do for you?
SOJ
Beautiful family you have, I must
say.
ESOHE
Thank you... you care for something
to drink?
SOJ
Not here... maybe a drink when you
are done with work, I hear...
ESOHE
I dont take work out of the
office.
SOJ
No we wont be discussing work.
14.
ESOHE
Why are you here, Mr Fernandez?
SOJ
(smiling)
What do you think?
SECRETARY (V.O.)
Yes Maam.
ESOHE
Can you get the credit officers
into conference room two?
SECRETARY
Definitely Maam.
ESOHE
Mr Fernandez, thank you for your
business.
He is dazed.
SOJ (V.O.)
... Yes, was driving by and
remembered your store was here, so
stopped in to say hi.
The door opens and a LADY with shopping bags walks out.
15.
HAUWA, the shop owner sits on leather chair at the far wall.
SOJ is standing close to her. A shop assistant is behind the
counter.
HAUWA
I thought the great SOJ has been
finally hooked and was now shopping
for the bridal gown.
SOJ
You never know... but then its
ladys first.
HAUWA
Meaning?
SOJ
Tonye gets married before I do.
HAUWA
Oh strange... why would you be in
competition with your ex?
SOJ
Its always better the lady gets
married before the guy... If not
there will bad blood and envy.
HAUWA
(laughing)
You wish... Tonye could care less.
SOJ
So I have been so easily forgotten.
HAUWA
Ofcourse... You are not the spice
of the earth, Mister Casanova.
SOJ
I see... do me a favour... can I
get her number?
HAUWA
Well, Ive got to ask her first.
SOJ shrugs.
16.
HEY BABES, COUNT DRACULA WANTS YOUR NUMBER, WHAT SAY YOU?
SOJ
Shit!
SOJ sees her, breaks into a smile and hurries towards her.
SOJ
Hey Tinu!
She turns towards him and slowly frowns as he gets closer.
SOJ (CONTD)
Sorry for pulling you away from the
Lords presence.
TINU
The usher said a Joseph wanted to
see me.
SOJ
Yeah... thats my middle name, I
was not sure if...
Tinu hisses loudly, eye balls him, turns around and storms
back into the church. He stares after her perturbed.
SOJ (CONTD)
Shit!
17.
He turns around and walks to the parking lot as the sun above
speeds into the moon.
SOJ
Hello, can you play SECRET LOVERS
by Atlantic starr?
SOJ
An anonymous caller.
The song starts playing. SOJ lies there, phone beside him
listening to it.
18.
On the king size bed are Esohe and her husband. He is asleep.
She is sitting up holding a NOVEL, while staring at the
radio/alarm clock by her bedside table as the song Secret
Lovers plays.
HAUWA
What does he want?
Tonye shrugs.
HAUWA (CONTD)
Lets mess with his head... what say
you babe?
TONYE
Let him stew.
19.
She puts the phone into her bag. Her face puzzled.
Walking down the center aisle of the church is SOJ and the
Pastor.
PASTOR
... it is the lord who orders our
footsteps... from darkness to light
and disillusionment to hope.
SOJ
I have a lot to be sorry for,
Pastor.
PASTOR
We serve a merciful God.
SOJ
I want to support your ministry
with a little seed offering.
PASTOR
The vineyard of the Lord is forever
in need of seeds and he rewards the
sowers bountifully.
PASTOR (CONTD)
He has not blessed you yet and you
sow this much, what will you do
when he does?
SOJ
(smiling)
I know how to be grateful Pastor.
PASTOR
What is your need?
SOJ
I want to settle down... I need a
God fearing wife.
PASTOR
Kneel, my son.
SOJ goes on his knees, closes his eyes and bows his head.
20.
SOJ
... i want to know everything they
do... their routine... when they
leave for work, have lunch, sleep,
shop, where they go to...
LADY
We come highly recommended Mr
Fernandez.
SOJ
Fine... I want info flowing in
tomorrow at the earliest.
LADY
Done.
She turns around and walks towards the door. He watches her
behind as it sways with her steps.
SOJ
One other thing?
SOJ (CONTD)
What are you doing later on this
evening?
She stands there looking at him for a moment, Then she
smiles. A grin appears on SOJs face.
SOJ (CONTD)
Lock the door.
She steps back to the door while holding his gaze and turns
the knob. SOJ stands up and begins to undo his belt.
As she looks up, she sees SOJ with a shopping cart putting
some bake beans into the cart. She makes a rapid turn around
and hastily starts pushing her cart away.
SOJ (O.S.)
Hey Twinkie.
She keeps on pushing the cart and beckons to her kids to come
with her. They are reluctant. SOJ pushes his cart up to them.
SOJ (CONTD)
(smiling)
Hi guys... How you doing?... I am
SOJ, a friend of your moms.
The kids look over at Esohe. She eye balls SOJ and then
feigns a smile at her kids.
ESOHE
He is an old acquaintance... now
lets go pay for these...
KID ONE
Come on Mom... you promised to buy
us Haagen Dazs ice-cream...
ESOHE
We are running late...
SOJ
I will buy that for you... how many
tubs?
ESOHE
Oh no, thank you, we are...
KID TWO
For real?... five tubs...
ESOHE
(annoyed)
I said no thank you... now kids you
will behave...
KID ONE
Mom... your friend said he will buy
it... why are you being mean?
ESOHE
I told you not to speak to me like
that again.
22.
KID TWO
Why are you breaking your promise
mom?
ESOHE
Hi Darling... no... it should be in
your bottom drawer... Please can
you check it... come on it is right
there in the bedroom!... I cant
divide myself into two, try and
help me out here.
She looks over at SOJ embarrased her voice was raised and
quickly walks away from him and the kids as she whispers into
the phone.
SOJ
So what are your names?
KID ONE
Efosa and he is Nosa.
SOJ
Okay guys... you know what?... We
are going to make a deal... you
will apologise to your mom and I
will get her to allow me buy your
ice-cream... how does that sound?
KID ONE
We are sorry Mom for raising our
voices at you...
KID TWO
... and being rude...
KID ONE
... can you please forgive us...
23.
KID TWO
... and allow your friend buy the
ice cream for us?
KID ONE
Please mom.
She regards the kids for a moment. They both make the same
pitiful face SOJ had made. She sighs.
ESOHE
Okay... just this once... And I
will buy it myself.
KID TWO
Great... Uncle SOJ... you will give
us the money you would have used...
ESOHE
Nosa!
KID TWO
But mom...
ESOHE
Dont let me change my mind.
She starts pushing the cart down the aisle. SOJ pushes his
cart behind her and the boys walk beside him.
KID ONE
Did you call my mom Twinkie?
SOJ nods.
KID TWO
Why?
SOJ
Its a long story.
KID ONE
Make it short.
SOJ
You are such a smartie... okay your
mom...
ESOHE
Whatever he says is not true.
24.
SOJ looks at the boys, winks and they all giggle as Esohe
pushes the cart in front of them. She stops and turns around.
They all keep straight faces, there is a moment and all of
them burst out laughing. Esohe smiles.
There are MEN and WOMEN sitting in rows around the room. The
pastor is sitting in front of them. Tinu is in the room.
PASTOR
... the question we have to ask
ourselves as singles is, am I ready
to marry who God has brought my way
or am I fixated on marrying who I
believe is right for me?... Because
what we wish for ourselves cannot
be as perfect as what God has
destined for us...
Just then the door opens and SOJ steps in. He apoiogises,
hurries over to a chair and sits down. Tinu does not notice
him. The Pastor looks over at him and smiles.
PASTOR (CONTD)
...so brothers and sisters, let us
not desire in sight but instead
surrender in blindness...
He waits.
PASTOR (CONTD)
... we keep praying and we keep
fasting and when God appears or
when he shows his hand, we are so
caught up in our own desires that
we call his miracles,
manifestations of the devil.
A message appears.
TONYE CLARK: I have been hiding from the big bad wolf.
SOJ types.
25.
He waits.
PASTOR (CONTD)
... May you not call the life
partner the Lord has provided for
you an agent of darkness.
ALL
Amen!
A message appears.
PASTOR
... We have a new brother in our
midst today and I believe God in
his infinite wisdom has sent him to
us because he knows that his
destined wife is seated in our
midst today... brother please stand
up and introduce yourself.
They all turn around. Tinu does same and her eyes open wide
in shock. SOJ stands up and sheepishly begins to speak.
SOJ
My name is Soji Fernandez. I am an
architect, a born again Christian
and I am single.
ALL
Welcome Brother Soji.
Tinu does not join them but instead looks on bemused. Soji
catches her eye. They share a moment.
CUT TO:
26.
SOJ
Get out!... I said get out!
TONYE
Baby please...
Freeze frame.
BACK TO:
TONYE: So why is the big bad wolf searching for little red
riding hood?
She frowns as she stares at the word love and then shuts
her laptop. Her irritation is visible.
PASTOR
So let us mingle and give God a
chance to work miracles.
The lady notices it, excuses herself and walks away. Another
LADY steps in to him. He speaks to her and once again steals
glances at TInu. The man with Tinu walks away. She is alone.
SOJ
Excuse me please.
SOJ (CONTD)
Sister Tinu.
She does not answer him and walks towards the door. He walks
after her.
SOJ (CONTD)
Please dont walk away... I just
want to apologise for everything I
have done.
PASTOR
Sister Tinu... you are leaving
rather early.
TINU
Yes... I have a headache.
SOJ walks to her side. The Pastor looks at him and smiles.
PASTOR
The Devil sometimes uses a headache
to steal destinies my dear
sister... show him he is a liar and
throw your net into the sea...
(MORE)
28.
PASTOR (CONT'D)
you will be amazed at the kind of
fish you will catch.
He gently guides her back into the room. SOJ follows suit.
Once in, the Pastor nods at them and walks away.
SOJ
Tinu, I know...
TINU
(curtly)
What are you doing here?
SOJ
I am starting on a fresh page.
TINU
Fresh page?
SOJ
The old SOJ is gone... dead... I am
a changed man Tinu... I have made
my peace with God and I want to
make it with you too.
TINU
I dont believe anything that drops
out of your mouth.
SOJ
I dont blame you... I deserve
it... but let me earn your your
trust.
TINU
Why?... I mean what we shared is...
SOJ
Is not over Tinu... you are the one
person that meant a lot to me...
but I was too blind to see... but
now look at me... God has removed
the scales that blinded me... and
now he has led me back home... I am
truly Tinu...
SOJ (CONTD)
Please forgive me.
HUSBAND
... So the boys said you met an old
friend at the mall last saturday.
ESOHE
Yes an old friend.
HUSBAND
Anyone I know?
ESOHE
No.
HUSBAND
He calls you twinkie... you guys
must have been really good friends.
ESOHE
Just childhood friends.
HUSBAND
You should invite him over for
lunch or dinner.
ESOHE
No... we dont have to.
HUSBAND
Why?... You do invite your friends
over... why not him?
ESOHE
People change... havent seen him
forever... dont want to allow
strangers into our home.
HUSBAND
I insist we have him over.
ESOHE
Why?
30.
HUSBAND
I need to know if there is anything
I have to worry about.
ESOHE
You have got me babe... you know
that.
HUSBAND
You should have told me about him.
KID ONE
I think I will go to my room.
KID TWO
Me too.
They both hurry off. We hear their laughter ring out. Esohe
shakes her head as she squeezes her husbands hand.
There are high end cars parked outside. One of the cars opens
and SOJ steps out.
SOJ
Hey Amigos... whaddup?
The front door opens and SOJ walks in. He stops and looks
over at them. Hauwa sees him first and taps Tonye on the
knee. She nods in understanding but does not look back.
SOJ walks down to them. He has a wide smile on his face. They
keep whispering to each other. SOJ stops by them, hands
behind his back.
SOJ
I hope I am not barging into
anything, but I happen to have a
date planned with this beautiful
young lady here.
SOJ (CONTD)
Hello... is anyone at home?
HAUWA
Hey Tonye... see whos here.
TONYE
My Jeez... its SOJ... where in the
good Lords name did you drop out
from?
HAUWA
Hes not looking too bad, is he
Tonye?
TONYE
A little malnourished... but
nothing a good meal would not fix.
HAUWA
Hmmm... I wonder what he is doing
here.
32.
TONYE
Let me ask him... SOJ love... what
if I may ask are you doing here?
SOJ
A canary told me that a lady here
was in desperate need of some male
attention.
TONYE
Oh really... which lady might that
be?
SOJ
If I heard the name right, I think
it said Tonye Clark.
HAUWA
Oh my!... Its you Tonye.
TONYE
I tell you I am surprised... Hauwa
darling, do I look like I am in
dire need of some male attention?
HAUWA
I doubt it my love... you look
totally put together... but then
pray, lets hear him make a case
for himself.
TONYE
Good idea... SOJ love... can you
pull up a chair... and help me know
what I do not know.
SOJ looks over at the two chairs by the wall and then back at
them. He shakes his head in resignation.
SOJ
Okay... great game... but Tonye we
were supposed to meet today
remember?
Hauwa and Tonye look at each other and then burst out
laughing.
TONYE
Seems SOJ has lost his sense of
humour.
33.
HAUWA
Bring one of those chairs bro, sit
down and tell a sister why the hell
you want to see her after breaking
her heart so badly.
SOJ frowns, looks at Tonye. She looks over at the chair, back
at him and then at the space by her side.
SOJ
Come on... you cant be serious...
this was supposed...
HAUWA
She is going no where bro... you
either talk or you walk.
ESOHE
You know this is highly
inappropriate?
SOJ
But you called?
ESOHE
And I said my husband wanted you to
come over for dinner.
SOJ
And?
ESOHE
And nothing... just you come for
dinner... you behave yourself...
eat... make small talk and leave...
SOJ
Is that all you want?
ESOHE
Left to me, I dont even want to
see you again...
SOJ
What are you afraid of?
34.
ESOHE
I am not afraid of anything.
SOJ
I dated you for a long time
Esohe... I know when you are lying.
ESOHE
You dont know me.
SOJ
So you think.
ESOHE
Look SOJ I have work to do... You
cant just come...
SOJ
Does he spank you?
ESOHE
What?!
SOJ
Does he slap velvet lined handcuffs
over your slender wrists and chain
you to bed?
SOJ (CONTD)
Does he use ice cubes... rolling
them around his tongue as he buries
this face between your legs.
Esohe slowly stands up.
SOJ (CONTD)
Does he push you against the wall
and take you forcefully... tearing
your panties and grabbing your
throat.
ESOHE
Leave!
SOJ
Tell me you dont miss me?
ESOHE
I said leave!
SOJ stands up and walks to the open door. He stops and looks
over at her.
SOJ
I will be stopping over for dinner
as invited and yes... I will
behave.
He walks out. She shuts the door behind him and stands there
confounded. She sinks down on her hunches as she tries to
quieten her racing heartbeat, her eyes staring at the the
family picture on her desk.
There is a small sitting room to the far side away from the
desk and Tinu and the Pastor are sitting on one of the
couches.
TINU
... he cant just come back into my
life and start pretending that all
is well, Pastor.
PASTOR
Sister Tinu, are you prescribing to
the Lord how he should work his
miracles?
Tinu shakes her head.
PASTOR (CONTD)
Fine... Out of the cold he has come
just like that... why... because
the Lord has led him back to you...
because the Lord sees your heart
and he knows that there is still
love in there for Soji.
PASTOR (CONTD)
Is there love in your heart for him
Sister Tinu?
TINU
Just a little... but there is more
of hate and anger and...
PASTOR
Faith as little as mustard seed can
move a mountain... love as little
as you have can overcome that
hatred and anger... Let God work
Sister Tinu.
PASTOR (CONTD)
Soji will be here anytime from now
and I want you to give him a
chance... I want you to open the
gates of your heart and allow him
step in... Tinu I prophecy by the
auction of the Holy Spirit that
yourself and Soji will be married
by the end of this year.
PASTOR (CONTD)
Do I hear an amen to that?
PASTOR (CONTD)
Its open.
PASTOR
Good evening my Son... please come
and sit down with Tinu here.
Soji walks in and sits down on the same couch with her. The
Pastor is opposite them.
PASTOR (CONTD)
There is a reason for everything...
and sometimes the Lord gives us
second chances... I believe that
you both have found yourselves
again for a purpose... Let us make
God proud.
37.
PASTOR (CONTD)
Please feel free... I have to go
lead evening prayers.
He walks out of the office and gently closes the door behind
him.
TINU
Okay... this doesnt just happen
like that... there must be a
reason... I understand we have to
give God a...
TINU (CONTD)
... chance to answer our prayers
but...
SOJ
Shssssshhh
SOJ (CONTD)
Relax.
TINU
What do you think you are...
TINU (CONTD)
Please... stop...
TINU (CONTD)
This is wrong SOJ... stop!
SOJ
How can love be wrong Tinu?
38.
Esohe and her husband are kissing as they sit around the
dining table around which is also SOJ. It is a tad forced
from the husband. SOJ is watching them and smiling. They
separate.
HUSBAND
Has she always been this shy about
PDAs?
SOJ
Not that I will know.
HUSBAND
You mean you never saw her with any
of her boyfriends?
SOJ
I did... but not in the bedroom.
HUSBAND
I know... thats why I said
PDAs... you know... public display
of affection.
SOJ
Oh that... yeah... I cant remember
Esohe ever kissing in public.
Esohe starts eating.
ESOHE
I will pretend as though I am not
the subject of your conversation.
HUSBAND
So tell me... how close were you?
SOJ
Close as kids... adolescence and
all that growing up somehow pushed
a wedge between us... and then time
just drifted us apart.
HUSBAND
You must be glad to have found her.
39.
SOJ
Yes... not just finding her... but
finding her married to such an
affable, loving husband and two
wonderful boys as children.
HUSBAND
Thank you for the compliment but
tell me... how come youre still
single?
SOJ
Some of us are not as lucky as you
are.
HUSBAND
So you think I am lucky?
SOJ
Anyone who has Esohe as a wife...
is... very... actually...
extremely... lucky.
Esohe looks at SOJ, her jaw clenched. SOJ and her husband are
locked eyes.
HUSBAND
Hmmm... interesting.
ESOHE
Anyone care for some ice-cream?
They do not answer her for a moment as they stay lock eyed.
ESOHE (CONTD)
Ice - cream anyone?
SOJ
Sure I will have some.
HUSBAND
No I think your friend is just
about leaving.
ESOHE
But...
40.
SOJ
It is okay... it was a lovely
dinner... thanks for having me over
SOJ (CONTD)
Im sorry.
Esohe shuts the door after him and turns to her husband. She
is not amused.
HUSBAND
I forbid you to see that man again.
They hold each others gaze for a moment, then he turns back
to the food and eats a mouthful.
HUSBAND (CONTD)
By the way... this tastes
different... really good... were
you trying to make an impression?
It is serene.
Tonye is lying on the ground looking through the viewfinder
of a high powered camera at gently flowing water.
SOJ
What are we looking at?
TONYE
How did you find me?
SOJ
You never left my radar.
41.
TONYE
Liar.
SOJ
You may not have seen me, but I
never left.
TONYE
Says the man who dumped me the day
after proposing to me.
SOJ
You forgot the part where you
actually responded that you had to
think about it.
TONYE
Think about it is different from
saying no.
SOJ
Well in my books it meant saying no
without actually saying no.
TONYE
You had just slept with a close
friend of mine, I was in the
process of forgiving you and then
you pop in a proposal, what was I
supposed to do?
SOJ
The problem was that I was
pronounced guilty even before you
heard my side of the story
TONYE
Sugar!... I missed it.
SOJ
Missed what?
TONYE
The moment.
SOJ
What moment?
42.
TONYE
I have been waiting for two hours
to take a picture of... dont
bother, you wont understand...
SOJ
I am sorry... I shouldnt...
TONYE
Yes... you should leave me alone...
I dont know what you want with me
SOJ.
SOJ
I want to walk us back on the path
we once journeyed and find us
again.
TONYE
The train has long left the
station.
SOJ
I can still hear it chuchuing
TONYE
You should get off drugs.
SOJ
Let me help you with that.
TONYE
Thanks... Ive got it.
She lifts it, straps it over her shoulder and starts walking
away. He follows her.
SOJ
Leaving was a mistake, I admit...
but I havent been able to get you
out of mind.
TONYE
Says the guy who has been painting
the tabloids red with his countless
sexual escapades
SOJ
They call them tabloids for a
reason.
43.
TONYE
I dont really care.
SOJ
If you dont then lets try giving
our relationship a go...
TONYE
I mean I dont care about you or
about us... there is actually no
us.
SOJ
Remember we promised that even if
our relationship didnt work out we
will always be friends.
TONYE
Promises are sometimes broken.
SOJ
So why am I the guilty party.
TONYE
Because you shattered my heart.
SOJ
I am a mender of hearts Tonye.
TONYE
Go mend another... mine has been
taken care of.
SOJ
Are you seeing someone?
TONYE
None of your business.
SOJ
If you are... I will turn around
and never bother you again.
TONYE
Okay... I am.
SOJ
You know you are the lousiest liar
I have ever met.
TONYE
Its true.
44.
SOJ
You hide behind your photography...
you hang out with your friends...
eat icecream while watching your
chic flixs... you are desperately
lonely Tonye
TONYE
Are you like stalking me?
SOJ
I am trying to get back into your
life.
TONYE
Why?
SOJ
Lost and found... you never know
what you have until you lose it.
TONYE
But why now?
SOJ
Attended too many weddings... dated
too many lousy women... realised I
had the best woman in the world and
I let her go... so I am aback to
right our ship.
TONYE
And you think you will just show up
and I would jump back on?
SOJ
No... I am ready to fight for you.
SOJ (CONTD)
Let me help you with that bag.
SOJ (CONTD)
Now tell me... what have I missed?
TONYE
Carrying my bag... doesnt give you
the key to my life.
45.
SOJ
Atleast it shows me the door.
TONYE
You still have your way with words.
SOJ
Not only words my dear... I still
know the language of your body.
Tonye stops.
TONYE
Dont go there.
SOJ
Tell me you have not missed that...
Me strumming you like a guitar.
TONYE
Give my bag.
SOJ
Okay... Im sorry... I sheath my
sword.
TONYE
You do that again... and youre
out.
SOJ
Hmmmmm... that tells me I am in.
TONYE
Keep on dreaming.
As he walks on. His phone beeps. He tears his eyes from her
butt, brings it out and looks at the caller display.
He responds.
The lights are dim, sensuous jazz filters in from the open
door of the studio.
The table is laid out for two with burning candles, roses in
vases and venetian crockery.
There is a moment.
SOJ
Wooow.
TINU
Wooow too.
SOJ
I mean... I have never seen you
look so... gorgeous.
TINU
Well... here I am.
SOJ
Welcome to my humble abode.
TINU
I am hoping my coming here is a
smart to do.
SOJ
I presume you are here with your
guardian angels... no harm can
befall you from a mere mortal like
me.
TINU
Hmmm... impressive.
SOJ walks to the table and draws out a chair for her. She
follows after him and sits down. He goes around and sits
down.
SOJ
So before you begin... lets bless
this moment... not just the food...
but the opportunity for new
beginnings.
She is impressed as she watches him bow his head. She does
same.
CUT TO:
Her phone rings. She picks it up. Caller display shows HAUWA.
She takes the call.
TONYE
Hi babes.
HAUWA (V.O.)
Bored to death.
TONYE
What of Aliyu and Omar?
HAUWA (V.O.)
Its the boys night out... they are
at the movies... mummy is home all
alone... what are you up to?
TONYE
Just sitting here wondering if
toying with SOJ is a cool thing to
do.
HAUWA (V.O.)
Haba... why are you changing your
mind... its fun.
48.
TONYE
Yes... but...
HAUWA (V.O.)
Hmmm... dont tell me old feelings
are stirring?
TONYE
Come on... you know me... that guy
can never...
HAUWA (V.O.)
You are human my dear... come out
with it... you think you are
catching feelings?
TONYE
Honestly... I dont know.
HAUWA (V.O.)
Okay... intervention time.
CUT TO:
ESOHE
You are jumping into conclusions
HUSBAND
I am a man... I know a predator
when I see one.
ESOHE
He is just an old friend trying
to...
HUSBAND
... get into your pants.
49.
ESOHE
Please dont be gross.
HUSBAND
I am being honest... that chap is
after something.
ESOHE
More like you are just jealous.
HUSBAND
And is that something bad?
ESOHE
Not when I cant breathe.
HUSBAND
Have I ever stole your shine or
cramped your style?
ESOHE
No... thats why I am surprised you
are acting like this.
HUSBAND
Once you didnt tell me about him
meeting you up at your office and
then the supermarket, I knew I had
to intervene... to save your from
yourself
HUSBAND (CONTD)
You know I love you right?
Esohe nods.
HUSBAND (CONTD)
And you know I wont allow anything
happen to you?
Esohe nods.
HUSBAND (CONTD)
So lets forget about this chap and
go back to who we were.
Esohe nods.
HUSBAND (CONTD)
Promise me.
Esohe nods.
50.
HUSBAND (CONTD)
I want to hear say it.
ESOHE
I promise you...
ESOHE (CONTD)
I promise I wont allow him into my
life or our life... I will cut him
off... and I wont ever keep
anything from you.
HUSBAND
Thank you... Now come here.
Esohe slides over. He kisses her gently. She does not respond
at first but then slowly warms into it. As he kisses her more
ardently, tears begins to flow down her cheeks.
BACK TO:
The dishes are nearly empty. The plates in front of SOJ and
TINU are also filled with food crumbs.
TINU
Lovely meal I must confess...
SOJ
I have some dessert cooling...
TINU
No... one more bite and I will
explode.
SOJ
Okay... in that case... time for my
treat.
TINU
Oh... you didnt say anything
about...
SOJ
It is meant to be a surprise.
SOJ stands up, pulls a small remote control from his pocket
and points it at the studio. The music changes to a mid tempo
song.
51.
TINU
Oh no!... Stop!
SOJ
Just like old times hon.
TINU
We are new people now...
SOJ
Love never ages.
TINU
We are purified by the blood SOJ...
we cant allow ourselves fall into
temptation.
SOJ
It is just a dance... King David
danced and the Lord loved him for
it.
TINU
SOJ!
SOJ
Just enjoy it.
TINU
This is not right.... We have...
SOJ
Tell me you dont want to stand up
and dance with me.
TINU
I do not...
SOJ
It is also a sin to lie
52.
TINU
Okay... I want to but I cant... I
shouldnt.. Oh God why did I come?
SOJ gently pulls Tinu to her feet. She struggles with him. It
is no use.
SOJ
Dance with me hon.
TINU
Please don't do this.
SOJ
Just relax hon... You won't do
anything you don't want to do.
TINU
Promise?
SOJ
I promise.
She stares into his eyes for a moment and then slowly begins
to sway alongside his rhythm.
Ikenna clicks on it. The video buffers for a minute and then
comes alive. The first thing we hear is Tinu's voice. It is
high pitched.
TINU
Yes!... Yes!... Harder... Harder...
Pound your bitch master... Oh my
God! ... I missed you master...
The video itself comes into focus. As the cries and moans
continue, we see the back of a lady and then her buttocks,
then it rises over and we see the face of TINU partly covered
with her dishevelled hair.
53.
AKIN
What's funny bro?
IKENNA
Check this out.
It is a secluded street.
TONYE
What the hell!
SOJ
Streets too dangerous to jog alone.
TONYE
When did you become my bodyguard
and how did you know i was out
here.
SOJ
Told you that you are on radar.
TONYE
Thought we agreed to meet on
Saturday.
SOJ
Too long a wait.
TONYE
Okay lets set some rules here.
54.
SOJ
I will break them.
TONYE
Then I am not hanging with you
then.
SOJ
(laughs)
Where will you hide?
TONYE
I will get a cease and desist court
order against you.
SOJ
Well I will go to jail then...
gladly.
TONYE
This new found love is unsettling.
SOJ
That is why it is called embers...
it just takes new wind to bring it
to life... never stopped loving you
Tonye.
A car zooms very close to Tonye. SOJ pulls her away just in
time as it zooms past.
TONYE
Jesus!
SOJ
See why you need a bodyguard.
TONYE
That was close.
SOJ
I am even closer... a protective
wall from all evil.
TONYE
Shakespeare... thank you very
much...now let go of me.
SOJ
Okay... now lets get the remaining
5km covered.
TONYE
Hmmmm... this guy... you are truly
stalking me.
SOJ
I told you I am here to stay didnt
I?
TONYE
Lets see how long you will last.
SOJ
Be my guest.
TONYE
Well while you are here... tell
me... what have you truly been up
to since us?
SOJ
Missing you.
TONYE
Be serious.
SOJ
You want the truth?
TONYE
Of course.
SOJ
Okay we have to stroll instead of
run... a man needs his breath to
tell a tale.
TONYE
I remember you being fit as a
horse.
SOJ
Still am... but that is in the
bedroom not on the road.
TONYE
Whatever.
56.
SOJ
Ah... I see someone still remembers
me making love to her... does she
miss it?
TONYE
(embarrassed)
Get a life!
ESOHE
Its open.
SECRETARY
It just came in via courier.
ESOHE
Thank you... please tell IK that I
will be with them shortly.
The secretary nods, drops the flowers on the table and
leaves. Esohe opens the envelope and brings out the card. It
is black and has nothing on the cover. She opens it and
begins to read.
SOJ (V.O.)
Esohe... I hope this card and the
flowers meets you just at the
moment when you need to remember
what it means to truly be loved.
SOJ (V.O.)
I remember... your laughter ringing
so infectiously... that smile
brightening my days...
(MORE)
57.
SOJ (V.O.) (CONT'D)
you singing with the wind in your
hair as we drove to Ibadan... I
remember your eyes alit whenever
you were ready for our crazy freaky
sex... your breath and how it
quickened... your lips and how it
quivered... the way you always
ripped my shirt open... the way I
tore off your panties... your cries
as I sank into you... you gripping
me tight and crying in pleasure
into my ears... your finely muscled
thighs gripping me... I remember
you breath catching everytime I
spanked you hard on the ass while I
took you from behind... you
shouting... Is that the best
youve got?... Esohe I long for
the day we can make this happen
again... Esohe I...
It is serene.
SOJ goes behind the camera and places his eye by the
viewfinder.
SOJ
Yes... its beautiful.
TONYE
Now you understand what I mean by
the moment.
SOJ
Everyday I spend with you... just
makes me realise that I never
really knew you...
(MORE)
58.
SOJ (CONT'D)
your photography... the fact you
volunteered every saturday at the
orphanage... your being able to
play chess at grandmaster level...
I mean I didnt even know you could
speak french.
TONYE
(in french with english
subtitles)
One of the mistakes of creation...
God created man and forgot to give
him brains... so he created woman
to correct the mistake... problem
is man has refused to collect the
brains woman has been trying to
give him back forever.
SOJ
Meaning?
TONYE
(in french with english
subtitles)
I really feel like slapping the
hell out of you... you miserable
bastard... You think you can come
back into my life and just as
easily play loverboy?
SOJ
Okay... I admire your french but I
prefer your english.
She walks back to the tripod and takes off the camera, walks
away and stops. Then she turns around and begins taking
pictures of him.
SOJ (CONTD)
Hey... come on... you have to give
me time to clean up.
TONYE
(in french with english
subtitles)
Idiot!
SOJ
Now my turn.
59.
TONYE
Nope... I am the photographer.
TONYE (CONTD)
Okay time out.
She pushes him away from her. He lands on her side. She
stands up and marches towards her tripod. He watches her
intently yet without expression.
FAROUK
Red top at the bar... Shege!... See
babe.
AKIN
Ungettable... forget her... check
the black top... the table far
wall.
AKIN
Waste of time... maybe if SOJ was
here.
IKENNA
B.S... watch me.
FAROUK
Ayaah... SOJ would have closed that
down... one time... shege banza!
`IKENNA
SOJ... SOJ... you guys keep
creating a god out of him...
please!
AKIN
We give honour to whom honour is
due... you now know how hard it is
to take down every babe you step up
to.
SOJ
I am not the enemy.
SOJ (CONTD)
I have seen the love you have and I
know the love we had. All I...
ESOHE
You have no right to talk about my
family.
SOJ
I have not come to destroy what you
have, but to remind you of what we
had
61.
ESOHE
Why do you need to... I am a
married woman... I have a family...
a life... Why do you want to take
it all from me?
SOJ
What is all of that if there is no
love.
ESOHE
I have love.
SOJ
You have a friendship.
ESOHE
That is what is actually important.
SOJ
Where is the passion?... Where is
the fiery Esohe I so loved?
ESOHE
You left her when you travelled
abroad... and she faded away SOJ...
she learnt how to survive.
SOJ
She married for convenience not for
love.
ESOHE
I married someone who loved me.
SOJ
But did you love him?
ESOHE
I feel safe with him... there is
stability... there is
predictability...
SOJ
Remember how spontaneous we were...
how incredibly mad... the risks we
took... the life we had.
ESOHE
I will not listen to this.
62.
He wheels his trolley by her side. Reaches over and drops his
card into her cart.
SOJ
My address in on it... I am going
home right now to wait for you...
to give you an opportunity to
rediscover that passion... I will
be waiting.
TINU
Ive been worried sick about you.
TINU (CONTD)
Arent you going to invite me in?
TINU (CONTD)
Why havent you called me or even
picked my calls since the last time
I was here?
He looks away but remains silent. She drops her bag on the
couch and her stethoscope and purse falls out. She picks them
and puts them back in.
TINU (CONTD)
I havent been able to even
concentrate on my patients
wondering what was wrong... not
even a text SOJ?
TINU (CONTD)
You cant even look me in the face?
63.
She stands there staring at him and then slowly her hand goes
to her mouth and her eyes widen in horror.
TINU (CONTD)
Oh my God!... This cant be
happening again.
TINU (CONTD)
SOJ is this what I am thinking?
TINU (CONTD)
My God!... How can you do this?
TINU (CONTD)
You promised... right in the house
of God... in front of my pastor...
you said you had changed... that
God led you back to me... how can
you... oh my God!... Oh my God!
TINU (CONTD)
Why?... you have sex with me once
and you call it quits again?... Why
did you need to do this?... How
many times did you have sex with me
before... countless... why did you
need to do it again?... Where you
sent by the devil to bring down my
world?... To prove I am a slut?...
SOJ tell me!... Why?!
SOJ
I am sorry.
TINU
You cant honestly be sorry... this
is too intentional... I thought you
were mean the last time, but now I
know you are evil... cursed... born
by the Devil himself... How could
you do this to me Soji Fernandez?
64.
SOJ
You have to leave.
She screams as the words hit her and drops to her knees
weeping. He walks over to the door and opens it. She raises
her head and takes it in, turns it to Soji and slowly gets on
her feet.
She picks up her bags and still sobbing walks towards the
door. Once at the door she stands there looking at him and
slowly reaches out to him. He steps back and avoids her
touch. She cries louder and slowly walks of the apartment.
SOJ shuts the door and lays his back on it. He lifts his hand
and covers his face. He is grimacing. When he lowers his
hand. There are tears rolling down his cheek.
CUT TO:
TONYE
It has to make sense... no one just
returns like this.
HAUWA
Ive asked and no one has a clue.
TONYE
Ikenna... Farouk.. Akin?
HAUWA
Same story... SOJ is changing a new
leaf bla bla bla.
TONYE
I feel like running away.
HAUWA
From him right?
TONYE
From myself dammit!
HAUWA
O ti shele... Scandal!
65.
BACK TO:
There is a knock on the main door. He does not hear it. The
knock sounds again. Louder this time. His eyes fly open and
he looks up at the clock. 6.35pm.
SOJ
Who is that?
ESOHE (V.O.)
Me.
His eyes fly open. He hurriedly opens the door. She stands
there for a brief moment before she walks in kisses him on
the lips and shuts the door behind her with her foot.
She keeps kissing him as they stagger into the living room.
Then she pushes him on the couch, reaches under her skirt and
tears off her panties. She throws in on his face.
SOJ
Wait, I...
ESOHE
Shut up... bitch!
SOJ smiles and relaxes. She climbs on his and tears his shirt
open. She lowers into a kiss with him and then suddenly he
grabs her hair pulls it back and stands up with her around
his waste.
He carries her to the wall and begins to claw her clothes off
her body whilst the look intensely at each other
When he stops. She dazes him a hot slap. His head flings
sideways and then he slowly turns to her. He is smiling. She
smiles. They kiss each other ravenously.
CUT TO:
It is a breathtaking scenery.
Then she brings out her cell phone and scrolls through. She
sees his name SOJ, clicks on it and texts appear. She clicks
on one.
It reads;
DONT KNOW WHY I FEEL THIS WAY TLOVE, BUT I KNOW HOW...
SMASHINGLY IN LOVE... DO NOT FEAR... THIS IS FOR REAL.
She sighs, closes the text and looks out at the city.
BACK TO:
She gazes down at him for a heartbeat and then struts away to
the washroom.
She walks over to him, picks up her top from the floor and
begins wearing it.
ESOHE
I hope you have gotten this craze
for me out of your system?... I
have just fucked you out of mine...
so this will be the last time we
see or we talk... I am off bounds
once I walk out of that door... You
understand?
67.
SOJ nods.
ESOHE (CONTD)
Good.
She picks up her bag, walks to the door, opens it and steps
out. She leaves the door open. SOJ lies there trying to catch
his breath. He is smiling.
It reads.
HUSBAND
Im so sorry... The meeting took
forever...
She drops the book on the bedside table and slides out of
bed.
HUSBAND (CONTD)
... you got my text right?.
She walks up to him and kisses him gently on the lips. She
holds the kiss for a moment and stops.
68.
HUSBAND (CONTD)
... hmmm... thats different...
expected you to be mad...
ESOHE
Just hold me... tight.
ESOHE (CONTD)
I love you... I love you so much.
ESOHE (CONTD)
Promise me that no matter what...
you will never leave me.
ESOHE (CONTD)
Promise me hon.
HUSBAND
I will never leave... today,
tomorrow, forever.
She closes her eyes as the tears that are now coursing from
them wet his chest.
His eyes are level with the sign that says HIGH LIFE.
SOJ
Hey Tlove... how you doing?... Was
wondering if you are down in taking
a spin on my boat?... come on... I
will take you to a secluded island
off the coast of Lagos... exotic
wildlife like youve never seen
before... youll take pictures...
(MORE)
69.
SOJ (CONT'D)
Im not kidding... nice thats my
girl... deal... I will be there.
She snaps.
TONYE
One will think Lagos is just a mad
house and have no idea that
paradise exists amongst all the
craziness.
SOJ
If I could I will buy this place
and build our own private heaven.
TONYE
I will rather you buy it and
preserve it... sometimes Nature is
better off untouched.
SOJ
You are so different.
TONYE
From what?
SOJ
The others... it is all materialism
for them... for you... there is
still a kind of virginity...
something pure... just like how you
described nature... untouched.
She smiles as she keeps looking out at the rolling ocean.
SOJ takes off his top and runs into the water.
SOJ (CONTD)
(calling out)
You make me feel like a child
again.
TINU
I have told you what he did to me
and you sit there telling me to
take it as the will of God?
PASTOR
There is always a lesson to be
learnt in every experience we go
through.
TINU
And what lesson would you learn
from this?... What does it tell
you?... You think you are blameless
in this?
PASTOR
It is not my race to run but yours
sister Tinu.
TINU
You are a shepherd for crying out
loud... you let a wolf in amongst
your sheep and you tell me it is my
race to run?
He stands up.
PASTOR
Now calm down.
TINU
You sit down and listen to me...
motherfucker!
PASTOR
Such language is not accepted in
the house of God sister Tinu.
TINU
This is the filthy house you have
built to con us all... this is not
of God... you sold me to that lying
lout because of what he gave to
you... you miserable rat...
72.
PASTOR
If you cannot discuss this in a
civil manner then I will be forced
to tell you to leave.
TINU
Dont bother... I am leaving and
will never set my feet here
again... but trust me... everyone
will hear what you did.
PASTOR
You cannot speak...
TINU
You watch me!
Tonye and SOJ are sitting facing each other on the couch.
There is music playing from the sound system on the far wall.
TONYE
Your turn.
SOJ
Dare.
She laughs.
TONYE
Okay... I dare you to do the Etighi
dance to this song.
SOJ
Come on that is a lame dare.
TONYE
Well it is what I want.
73.
SOJ
There... now your turn... truth or
dare?
TONYE
Truth Sire.
SOJ
Ah... you think you are smart
right?
SOJ (CONTD)
Okay... have you been with anyone
else who has treated you better
than I have?
TONYE
Of course... you treated me like
shit.
SOJ
As you can see I am making up for
the shitty part... I meant...
someone who has shagged you better.
TONYE
Hmmm... he goes sexual again,
TONYE (CONTD)
Since you want to know... yes.
TONYE (CONTD)
Are you shocked?... You dont
seriously think you are the
greatest lay ever created by God?
SOJ
I know I am good... and I know you
are just pulling my legs... this
your so called great lay doesnt
exist.
74.
TONYE
You should know me... I dont tell
tales... I have been with a guy who
was an earthquake in bed... like a
billion fireworks going off at the
same time.
SOJ
Hmmm... if thats true... why
arent you still with him?
TONYE
Unlike you... we both amicably
decided to end it.
SOJ
Why?
TONYE
Come on... too many questions...
thats not how the game is supposed
to be played.
SOJ
Why did you leave him?
TONYE
He was going to the states for his
masters... and he was honest enough
to tell me that he couldnt stay
celibate for the two years he will
be away... and I couldnt share...
so like the adults we both were...
we decided to end it... thats it.
SOJ
Hmmmm... do you have his picture?
TONYE
What the hell?!
SOJ
Show me his picture.
TONYE
My lawd... you are a bully.
SOJ
Please.
75.
She stands there studying him for a moment. Then she walks
towards him. She picks up the digital album, taps severally
on it and then hands it over to SOJ.
TONYE
There.
SOJ
This was obviously after we broke
up right?
TONYE
I said so before.
SOJ
Hmmmm... I can see he made you
happy... whats his name.
TONYE
Seriously?
SOJ
I just want to know his name.
TONYE
(sighs)
This will be your last question and
we go back to our game.
SOJ nods.
TONYE (CONTD)
Fine... Okafor
TONYE (CONTD)
Whats wrong?
He catches himself.
76.
SOJ
Oh nothing... just the name... I
mean who calls their child
Okafor... its just... bush.
TONYE
Not everyone has a posh Adesoji
Fernandes to form airs with... and
for your information... a name is
all about its true meaning...
Okafor means someone born on the
afor market day... and for your
information... Okafor is his last
name... his first name is Peter...
and you know I hate english names
on Africans... So I call him by his
last name and yes he is the most
memorable sex I have ever had.
SOJ
Oh now it makes sense.
TONYE
See you jumping to conclusion
already.
SOJ
Ever heard of Okafors law?
TONYE
No... I have heard of SOJs law...
which states that you can never
stick to rules even though you give
your word.
SOJ
Come on I...
TONYE
Truth or Dare?
SOJ
Dare.
TONYE
I dare you to to stick to the rules
of the game for the rest of today.
SOJ
You dare me to kiss you sweetly...
to strip you naked right here in
your living room...
77.
TONYE
(laughing)
I have told you... I am not going
to sleep with you.
She runs away into the door that leads into an adjoining room
and locks it behind her.
SOJ
You didnt say never going to sleep
with you... so I have to keep
trying.
TONYE (O.S.)
Do you want me to say never.
SOJ
Ofcourse not.
TONYE (O.S.)
Then better behave yourself.
FAROUK
Okay easy does it... You should
take a break now,
AKIN
The guy is vexing about losing the
bet... all is redirected
aggression.
FAROUK
Oh that... Ikenna... haba... me I
miss SOJ... let him finish... win
or lose...we all hang again like
old.
IKENNA
He will lose.
FAROUK
Is that how much you love his high
life collection?
AKIN
Farouk stop falling my hand now...
dont you know what this is about?
FAROUK
We entered a bet that...
AKIN
Ikenna wants to prove a point to
SOJ... remember Nse?
Ikenna stands up and climbs onto a stationary bike.
IKENNA
Akin stop building castles in the
air... this is about the bet.
AKIN
You no say I sharp pass that... you
truly havent forgiven SOJ about
Nse.
FAROUK
Haba... but SOJ dated Nse before
Ikenna did... so why the vexing
when Ikenna was just there to take
his own turn... Ikenna you werent
like in love with her ko?
79.
IKENNA
This has nothing to do with Nse...
AKIN
Farouk... Ikenna took a turn one
time too many but then SOJ returned
to start taking turns too and the
tap ran dry for Ikenna... na dia
bad belle start.
Ikenna stops cycling. He grabs his towel and walks out of the
gym.
AKIN (CONTD)
Abeg let SOJ knock down number
three... and make we hail am die...
four days left.
FAROUK
Kai SOJ... ban banza ne... ko wai!
SOJ
Loaned it out.
TONYE (O.S.)
... every single one of them.
SOJ
Yes.
She sits down at the other end of the couch and looks at the
paintings that hand on the wall and the artworks at different
places in the room.
TONYE
You know one thing I find real
attractive in you is your love for
the arts.
SOJ
Thank you.
TONYE
So the other you asked about ex
loves... now you tell me... after
me... I know there were countless
others... but any that are
memorable?
SOJ
Honestly... they were a blur.
TONYE
Hmmm... Mr Cassanova.. I remember
Esohe... she was before me... and
then there was the doctor Tinu...
after me... who else?
SOJ
Cant remember... it was all sex to
me.
TONYE
And to them?
SOJ
I am not proud of everything I have
done.
TONYE
And why do you keep doing them?
SOJ
I dont know.
TONYE
I think you are a very sad and
lonely person SOJ... in there...
(MORE)
81.
TONYE (CONT'D)
and all these you put up is to hide
who you really are.
SOJ
This is me.
TONYE
But you said you have changed...
and that is why you want us to get
back together.
SOJ
Yes I have.
TONYE
But you cant have changed if you
have not confronted the sadness in
you... the need to satisfy its
hunger by sowing sorrow in
others... you are miserable inside
and as we know misery loves
company.
SOJ
I am a happy camper.
SOJ (CONTD)
I just have a high libido and I
love variety.
TONYE
But you are playing with the
emotions of others... you just
dont want sex... you want sex with
people who are in love with you...
and that is what makes it unfair...
cold... evil.
SOJ
Dont look at...
TONYE
You are in love with the fame it
has given you... enthralled by the
body count... and now you are a
hostage of your own creation... you
cant truly allow yourself fall in
love because of what it will do to
your fame... you cant even trust
love since you are a master of
creating fake love...
82.
SOJ
I do not really...
TONYE
SOJ... tell me... do you want love
or do you want sex?
He falls silent.
TONYE (CONTD)
I will be honest with you... I am
back where we used to be... All the
emotions are right in here in my
heart... but I will not have sex
with you until you put a ring on
this finger... so if that is not
your intention... let us call it
quits now and remain friends.
TONYE (CONTD)
You dont have to give me an answer
right now... think about it... and
be honest... for once think about
someone else but yourself.
He keeps staring.
TONYE (CONTD)
Wow!... Now that Ive gotten that
off my chest... I need a drink...
TONYE
Whats wrong.
SOJ
Nothing... no alcohol for anyone of
us today.
SOJ (CONTD)
Juice, fanta, Coke, Malt or
water... which one?
83.
TONYE
(whisper)
Juice... Apple juice.
The door opens and SOJ walks in. He looks around, sees them
and walks over.
SOJ
Hey guys... thanks for coming...
where is Ikenna?
AKIN
No idea.
SOJ
Okay... I will make this brief.
FAROUK
Dan iska... number three has taken
down... ko?
AKIN
Come on... you have three more
days.
SOJ
I am not going through with it.
FAROUK
Dan Boroba... you will lose your
albums ne!
SOJ
I dont care about that... I just
want us to have my friends back...
if that is the price I will pay,
then its good by me.
84.
AKIN
But why... Is Tonye that tough?
SOJ
It is about her... it is about
me... I shouldnt have done this in
the first place.
FAROUK
But what is worth doing is worth
doing well... haba SOJ... you are
the marksman... show that girl
shege!
SOJ
I am going to propose to her
tonight.
AKIN
You cant be serious.
SOJ reaches into his pocket and brings out a velvet box. He
opens it and a massive diamond ring on a titanium band
glitters.
FAROUK
Shege yaro!
AKIN
What the... damn!... where the hell
is Ikenna?
He looks towards the door, willing it to open. Farouk looks
up from the ring to SOJ in disbelief.
It is a quiet night.
She has his phone in his hand and is watching the video of
herself having sex.
TINU (V.O.)
... harder!... Harder!..
She stops the video and raises her head. Her hands are
shaking. Her lips quivering. Her eyes glazed over in shock.
IKENNA
Do you want to confront him with
what I have told you.
IKENNA (CONTD)
Hey SOJ... yeah Im sorry... Where
are you?... Oh Yellowbrick... oh
okay... I will see you at home
then... Ah, dont worry I will get
Akin and Farouk to brief me... its
okay... Easy.
He hangs up.
IKENNA (CONTD)
Ready?
She nods, stands up and takes off her white coat. Ikenna
stands up also. He is smiling.
TONYE
Excuse me... Who the hell are you?
TINU
I am his ex... just like you are...
my name is Tinu... and this bastard
here is in a bet that he will sleep
with three of his exes in 30
days... to prove that some Okafors
law is real.
TONYE
You are Tinu... the doctor?
She nods, holding back tears but not succeeding. She hands
Tonye the phone in which is the video.
TINU
See what he did to me.
TINU (V.O.)
Yes!... Yes!
SOJ
I can explain... It is...
Tonye picks her glass of wine and throws it on his face. She
turns to Tinu.
TONYE
Come on love... lets get out of
here... he doesnt deserve your
tears.
87.
She helps the crying Tinu walk out of the restaurant. SOJ
stands there looking at the departing duo, then he slowly
sits down. His face in an ashen daze.
HAUWA
Let me pick it up and give him a
piece of my mind.
TONYE
No... let it ring.
HAUWA
... he will pay for this Tonye if
that is the last I thing Ill do...
TONYE
I am so stupid... I cant believe I
allowed myself fall in love with
him again.
HAUWA
Youre are not stupid love... he is
cursed thats what... atleast he
didnt get to taste the coochie...
Leave it to me... I will handle
him.
It is in pandemonium.
SOJ
(angrily)
... you lying bastard... you were
the one who showed her the video.
IKENNA
God knows I didnt.
SOJ
She told me herself... you came to
her office and showed it to her.
AKIN
Did you do that?
FAROUK
You have proof?
SOJ
I can call her right now and you
will hear it yourself.
FAROUK
You mean she can still talk to you
after everything?
SOJ
Fuck you man!... I am serious
here... She is threatening a
lawsuit... Tonye does not want to
hear from me... all because this
idiot here didnt want to lose a
common bet.
IKENNA
You call it common eh... you keep
hurting people with your Okafors
law bullshit and you...
FAROUK
Dan banza!... In the north... a man
must have honour.
FAROUK (CONTD)
Brother we are in this together...
what can we do to help you.
The door opens and SOJ walks in with Akin and Farouk.
HAUWA
What the hell are you doing here?!
SOJ
I just want to...
HAUWA
Get out!... I said get out!
FAROUK
(in Hausa with subtitles)
Hauwa it is in respect and peace we
have come. It is not only SOJ that
has done wrong. We all have. We
were the ones who made him do the
bet...
HAUWA
(in Hausa with subtitles)
Then you should all go to hell.
FAROUK
(in hausa with subtitles)
We would if that would make Tonye
feel better... but what this bet
has led to even us would never have
imagine.
HAUWA
Dont speak hausa to me... I am not
your sister... just leave my shop
now.
90.
AKIN
SOJ was going to propose to Tonye
that night in the restaurant.
HAUWA
Lies!... All lies!!... get out.
FAROUK
SOJ show her.
SOJ brings out the box and opens it. Hauwa stops mid stroke,
broom held high over her head.
SOJ
We can explain.
She slowly lowers the broom as they beseech her with pleading
eyes.
TONYE
Hey babes.
HAUWA (V.O.)
SOJ came over with Akin and Farouk.
TONYE
I dont want to hear about that guy
ever again.
HAUWA (V.O.)
I need to give you this gist in
person sef.
TONYE
If you are coming over to talk
about him please dont bother.
91.
HAUWA (V.O.)
Remember we started this all as a
game until you messed up and fell
in love.
TONYE
Its over.
HAUWA (V.O.)
No its not... Something incredible
has happened that will blow your
mind.
She hesitates.
TONYE
Really?
HAUWA (V.O.)
I swear on my virginity... oh
sorry... I swear on my new
collection of Vera Wangs.
Tonye laughs.
HAUWA
Let me come over and explain...
hear me out and decide if its
truly over.
TONYE
Okay... Ill be waiting.
She hangs up and turns in bed. There is a picture face down
on the bedside table. She lifts it up. It is of her and SOJ
laughing into the camera. A tear rolls down her cheeks.
After a while she catches his eye. Tonye walks away from the
group of peopleand crosses over to SOJ.
TONYE
Can you please stop hounding me?
SOJ
I just need a minute... Please.
TONYE
You have had years and still
managed to mess it all up.
SOJ
I want to get it right... for weeks
I have been trying to talk to
you... I have made peace with
Tinu... I have destroyed all copies
of the videos... apologised... She
has forgiven me and dropped the
lawsuit... I am trying, believe me.
TONYE
I am not your guinea pig... And
moreover... I can swear you are
back here trying to win another
bet.
SOJ nods. She is taken aback but catches herself and sighs in
exasperation.
TONYE (CONTD)
what bet is it this time?
SOJ
A bet that I cannot get you to fall
in love with me again and marry me.
93.
TONYE
And who is the bet with?
SOJ
With myself.
TONYE
Are you for or against?
SOJ
I am betting that you will marry
me.
Tonye laughs.
TONYE
And if I don't what do you lose?
SOJ
You will.
TONYE
Why?
SOJ
Because you love me just a
heartbeat less than I love you.
TONYE
is that enough?
SOJ
My mother always said it is better
a man loves a woman more than she
loves him, because the smallest
love a woman has is greater than
the biggest love a man can have.
TONYE
You sure she said so?
94.
SOJ
Yes... She is outside in my car and
she is ready to come in here to
confirm what I just said and to let
you know what you mean to me.
TONYE
You mean you brought your mom here?
SOJ
I wanted to cover all the angles.
TONYE
what for?
SOJ
Tonye you mean the world to me and
just these two months of not being
with you feels like the world has
ended for me... I have missed you
more than I can even believe... I
have come here in public,
unashamed, I have brought my mother
here without shame Tonye... Can't
you see?... I am for real.
Tonye stands there staring at him. SOJ gets down on one knee
and brings out a black velvet box and opens it. A large
diamond on a titanium ring glitters. Tonye's eyes open wide.
SOJ (CONTD)
Tonye I am so sorry for being a
champion ass, for treating you so
horribly the first and second time
I came into your life. I confess it
was a bet I had with my friends
that I can get you to sleep with me
within 30 days and I am so glad I
lost it because in losing it I have
found you. Not with my eyes but
with my heart. Please let me pay
back for all the hurt I have caused
by showering you with all the love
I have for you. Tonye Clark I
humbly ask you, in the presence of
man and God, please would you marry
me?
Hauwa, Akin and Farouk walks into the gallery. Tonye sees
them. A short while later.
TONYE
You truly brought you mom.
PRIEST
... before I join you both in holy
matrimony I ask you here present or
represented to speak forth if you
have any reason why these two who
stand before you should not be
joined in wedlock... speak now or
forever hold your peace.
PRIEST (CONTD)
... so since no one here objects...
VOICE (O.S.)
I object.
CUT TO:
TONYE (V.O.)
... Okafor is his last name... his
first name is Peter... and you know
I hate english names on Africans...
So I call him by his last name and
yes he is the most memorable sex I
have ever had.
BACK TO:
SOJ
Shit!
The END.