Week 6-Enhancing Body Image
Week 6-Enhancing Body Image
Week 6-Enhancing Body Image
Table of Contents
Week 6Enhancing Body Image
BULIMIA AND BODY IMAGE
GOALS OF THE SESSION
SUMMARY
HOMEWORK
References
About the Authors
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her "imperfections."
Anne's feelings about her body are similar to those of many bulimic women.
They feel depressed about and ashamed of their bodies and let that interfere with
their deriving pleasure from it. Many women report that their feelings about their
bodies interfere with sexual enjoyment because they won't allow their partners to
look at them or touch them. This self-consciousness about the body leading to less
enjoyment of sex was supported in a study by Alderdissen et al. (1981) comparing
bulimic and normal women on a variety of psychological measures. Bulimics
reported less enjoyment of sexual relationships, a greater difficulty in expressing
their sexual wishes, and more fear of not meeting their partner's sexual
expectations. Additionally, they held to a greater degree the belief that their
satisfaction of sex would improve if they were slimmer and more attractive. The
negative feelings about their bodies and lack of sexual satisfaction may lead some
women to binge, substituting food for sex and love. Unfortunately, the binge eating
further reinforces the negative feelings about the body. Several women have
reported using binge eating as a substitute for sexual satisfaction and intimacy.
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feedback and confrontation from others are important. The feedback and
confrontation provide insight for these women on their distorted body images and
on how others perceive them, which is usually much less critical than the way they
perceive themselves. Women gain insight into their own behavior by observing
other group members. When the woman is seen individually, anecdotal material
and feedback from therapist and friends helps her see her body more realistically
and feel better about it.
There are several goals for this session: (a) to enhance body image, (b) to
help women realize that weight is not the only physical criterion for
attractiveness, (c) to show that behaviors and not only appearance are important
in defining one's attractiveness, and (d) to help women become aware of and
decrease distortions in body image. The homework exercises from the previous
week and the exercises in the group are done to help them correct their negative
perceptions of themselves and to feel better about their bodies.
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from the top of her head and ending with her toes. It is important that the
therapist does not mention weight when doing this exercise, but focuses more on
the "functional" qualities of her features (e.g., "I love my hair because it is so easy
to manage," "I like my hands because they are so agile," "I like my eyes because
they are so expressive," "I like my breasts because they feel so good when they are
touched," etc.). What we hope to accomplish here is to have women "own" their
bodies, imperfections and all, and feel comfortable with them. When the client
does this exercise and tends to skip certain body parts, we encourage her to go
back to those parts and validate them. If she qualifies her statements, tending to
discount them (e.g., "My hair is nice when I set it" or "My smile is pretty except for
my crooked teeth"), we point out that a feature does not have to be perfect to be
liked. We encourage her to go back and say, "I like my smile," "I like my pretty
hair," etc. When she mentions a nice feature (e.g., "I have nice ankles"), we ask her
to talk about it and show us what it looks like from all angles. Essentially, we
attempt to reinforce positive responses.
This may seem artificial, and some women may have a very difficult time not
saying anything negative about their bodies. We are not asking them to lie about
their feelings, only to focus on positive aspects because they have "tunnel vision"
and focus only on negatives. If they have a real problem with a certain body part,
we ask them to exaggerate that, both in the group and in doing body work at
home, until they can feel comfortable with it. For example, they are to stick out
their stomach or wiggle their thighs and keep looking at them until some
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desensitization takes place. They do not necessarily have to like every body part,
but they need to feel comfortable with each part. Some aspects of their
appearance can be changed, others they have no control over; and they must make
friends with their bodies.
After each woman validates her body, group members and therapists give
her feedback on what they see as her attractive features. It is important for the
therapist not to focus on the woman's thinness except if she has a very distorted
body image and sees herself as fat. We also attempt to give feedback on her
attractive behaviors (e.g., a smile, certain mannerisms, bubbliness, and so on) and
not to focus solely on appearance. We point out that factors other than physical
features, and particularly other than weight, play a role in how others perceive us.
Women are surprised to find that when they gave feedback to others, it was the
behaviors they noticed first rather than the appearance.
The women may not at first accept the feedback; however, as they observe
others, they may become aware that they too have been displaying an overly
critical attitude towards their own bodies. We tell them to see their bodies
through other people's eyes and not through their own critical ones. We
encourage them to change their perfectionist attitudes and thoughts about their
body parts, and we stress that their bodies do not have to be perfect before they
can accept them.
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After women review what they like about their bodies, we ask them to show
us the photos they had cut out from magazines of what they thought they looked
like and what they wanted to look like. There is invariably much distortion in how
they perceive themselves. Slim or normal weight women bring in pictures of
obese women. Group members provide them with feedback about their
distortions. Frequently, women are unable to see their own bodies realistically but
are incredulous at distortions by other group members. This can provide them
with insight into their own perceptions. We tell them that even if they "feel'' as
though they had "humongous thighs" or "pregnant stomachs," they need to accept
intellectually what they look like and take at face value what others tell them.
Through the feedback, group members can correct some of the distortions
they have about their bodies. The therapist can give feedback as well, if group
members do not. If done with humor, this can be quite effective. For example, as a
woman mentions the fat under her arms, the therapist's genuinely incredulous
expression and asking "where?" can bring laughter from the group. A woman will
obviously not be convinced that she is distorting just because other women tell
her she is. However, we ask her to trust other members' perceptions rather than
her own, to go by what she knows rather than by what she feels.
We encourage her to try some reality testing on her own as well, if she is not
willing to take other peoples' assessments at face value. She can draw her
perceived body outline on a large sheet of paper and then lie down on the paper
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and ask a friend to trace her actual body outline. The discrepancy between her
drawing and her friend's tracing is the extent of distortion. If the feedback
indicates that she does indeed have a distorted image of her body, she is to learn
to think of herself as looking the way she does, even if she still feels fat.
Showing that Factors Other than Weight Constitute Attractiveness: What is Sexy?
Not all women distort, of course, and some women are overweight, even by
the most objective standards. How big a role do their bodies play for others? Is
being thin the only way to be attractive? How else can women be attractive or
sexy without being thin? The next exercise is designed to bring to their awareness
that features other than weight constitute attractiveness to the opposite sex. We
ask women to tell us what the men they talked to said they considered sexy or
attractive in women, and we write these down on the board. We also ask them to
think of what is sexy to them and write that down. Although being thin is
mentioned sometimes, personality and behavioral characteristics are noted with
even more frequency than physical features. Women are surprised that "averagelooking" women with imperfect features are considered sexy. "Sexiness" or
"attractiveness" are intangible qualities and do not only include weight or physical
appearance. As women tell us what they and others consider sexy we write them
on the board. Words used to describe sexiness include, "bright," "in love,"
"handsome," "athletic," "healthy," "kind," "considerate," "caring," "loving," "selfconfident," "talented," "has a sense of humor," "sensitive," "musical," "a good
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personality," "delivery," "a nice tan," "a good voice," "an 'individual'." Very few of
these qualities had to do with weight or even with physical appearance.
As we review the previous week's homework through these exercises, our
aims are to help women appreciate their bodies and see them more realistically,
as well as to realize that weight, or even physical appearance, is not the sole
criterion for attractiveness. We want to stress to bulimic women that there is
nothing wrong with self-improvement and wanting to look good. However, it is a
problem when self-improvement begins and ends with weight loss. Women have
inflated expectations of what being thin will do for them and many postpone living
until the day they reach the "perfect" weight. They delay buying clothes, making
friends, or doing anything nice for themselves. They feel that everything will fall
into place when life begins; in other words, when they lose weight. We try to make
them aware of how they have lost perspective, of how dieting has taken over
every aspect of their lives. Couldn't the time and effort spent on trying to be thin
be put to better use? If they direct their energies to other areas of their lives, even
to other physical improvements, they may get more satisfaction, and others may
see them as more attractive, as well. Those "extra" pounds appear to be a burden
on their minds more than on their bodies.
The homework for this session reinforces the work in the group and is again
designed to help them like their appearance more and to focus on factors other
than weight in feeling good about themselves. They are to write down what they
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like about their appearance, what others like about it, and what their "attractive
behaviors" are. This is to reinforce the feedback they received in the group so that
they can refer to it in the future. They are also told to pick one of their "attractive
behaviors" from the list and exaggerate it, that is, to change something
behaviorally that will improve their attractiveness (e.g., to smile more often if it is
attractive, to exaggerate certain movements, etc.). They are to record the reactions
from others when they deliberately exaggerated these behaviors. They are
frequently surprised and delighted to see how much attention they get from males
when they are more verbal, smile more, or listen more, when no one notices if
they gained or lost a few pounds! They are also asked to change something in their
appearance aside from losing weight and to record other people's reactions to this
change. Again, a change in hairstyle or make-up is likely to bring more comments
than the pound or two that is hardly noticed by anyone. In addition, they are to
continue their binge diary.
SUMMARY
1. Review the Body Mirror Exercise for each woman. Let her tell the group
what she likes about her body and have her receive feedback
from other members. In providing feedback, focus on the
"functional'' aspects of the features and on "behaviors," not only
on appearance. Help women "own" and accept their bodies.
Emphasize living and dressing for now.
2. Review the photos and help women correct distortions in body image
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HOMEWORK
This week we will ask you to do three exercises to help you feel better about
your body and to become aware of factors other than weight in your
attractiveness to others.
1. Write down what you like about your appearance, what others like
about it and list your "attractive behaviors" below.
What I Like About My Appearance
What Others Like About My Appearance
My "Attractive Behaviors" (How else am I attractive aside from
appearance?)
2. Pick one of your "attractive behaviors" from your list and exaggerate it
this week: that is, change something behaviorally that will
improve your attractiveness. For example, if people like your
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