Tom R. Hawkins, Ph.D.

Restoration in Christ Ministries

PO Box 479
Grottoes, VA 24441-0479
540-249-9119
[email protected]
1997-2004
May 2004

DID Perspectives on Inner Healing

Capacity and Synchronization
This paper is abbreviated for lecture purposes.
The entire paper will be found in
the forthcoming new edition of Breaking the Chains of DID. )

I. Introduction
I would like to clarify at the outset that I am not a mental health professional. In the
past I have called myself a Biblical counselor but am starting to use the term prayer
minister to avoid any confusion with psychological terminology and the diversity of
terminology used by the various state licensure boards. My Ph.D. is in Biblical
Studies from Dallas Theological Seminary. I served as a pastor for 25 years and have
been an ordained minister since 1969.
This material is intended to be educational in nature. The content is largely based
upon my experience with many hundred survivors of severe abuse and their
therapists, counselors or prayer ministers. Because I have dealt mostly with severe
ritual abuse cases, I want to clarify that I am not assuming that all dissociated
individuals manifest the complexity herein described. On the other hand, I believe that
understanding the most complex cases will yield principles that will apply to all
dissociated individuals.
This material offers no guarantees or promises regarding a certain outcome or result.
In fact, what I talk about doing is not necessarily what I do in any or all situations. A
lecture of necessity must be a generalization.
Some of the terminology comes from Dr. Jim Wilder, who has based his work on that
of Dr. Dan Siegel, Dr. Alan Schore and Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. I make no claim that
my understanding is an accurate reflection of their thinking. What I do is spiritual
ministry, and my use of psychological terminology is designed to aid in
communication with people coming from a diversity of backgrounds, especially those
with training in the mental health field.

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II. Four Key Issues in Resolving DID

A. Building Emotional Capacity
The first key issue to resolving the severely traumatized is that of helping
survivors increase their capacity to handle the negative emotional states without
forgetting, or losing touch, with their true identity.
B. Learning to Synchronize
All too often the goal of helping survivors learn to synchronize, or connect, with
God, within themselves and with other people has been overlooked, minimized or
ignored. We will see later that this internal connection must happen at the deepest
levels of the self or what I call the Primary level.
C. Overcoming Dissociation
Too many therapists have made overcoming dissociation their focus, but we are
now understanding that building capacity and learning to synchronize are
necessary before dissociation can be successfully addressed. I believe that the
dissociation is held in place by wrong beliefs which seemingly necessitate the
need to separate from and deny major portions of the persons history, causing
them to live out of a fear-based alter-identity system rather than from who they
really are at a heart level.
D. Gaining Freedom from Spiritual Bondage
The experience of knowledgeable Christian clinicians has demonstrated that
spiritual dynamics also need to be addressed. However, this should only be done
at the appropriate time and in the appropriate manner, which is not always easy to
ascertain.
Hopefully, this explains why we should not limit our discussion to dissociation.
This bigger picture has all too often been overlooked, although in some cases it
may have been dealt with by using other terminology.

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Tom R. Hawkins, Ph.D.

II.

Building Emotional Capacity

A. The Capacity for Joy
1. Joy might be defined as The internal experience of delight at having
another person glad to be in my presence. (Jim Wilder)
2. A baby builds its capacity for experiencing joy by synchronizing with the
joy that its mother expresses at being in its presence. We have all seen the
way a baby lights up when the mother enters the room and makes joyful
eye contact with her child. Healthy attachment is a primary developmental
task from three to nine months that includes the safety of being securely at
rest.
3. The extent to which this joyful connection between mother and baby is
repeatedly made determines the joy capacity the child will develop. Dr.
Wilder uses the metaphor of being able to climb joy mountain.
a. If that joyful attachment takes place in a secure way, then the child
develops a large capacity for joy or, to use another of Jim Wilders
metaphors, a large joy bucket.
A Joyful Identity

1997-2000 Restoration in Christ Ministries

Tom R. Hawkins, Ph.D.

b. If, for whatever reason, the mother does not joyfully respond to her baby
on a consistent basis, then the child fails to develop a secure attachment
and only develops a small capacity for joy, or in terms of this analogy a
small joy bucket.

A Small Joyful Identity

1997-2000 Restoration in Christ Ministries

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Tom R. Hawkins, Ph.D.

Tom R. Hawkins, Ph.D.

c. If the mother is inconsistent in her joyful interactions with her baby, we

could say that the child develops a joy bucket that is full of holes so that
the joy leaks out quickly.
A Weak Joyful Identity
A bucket full of holes
Inability to hold much Joy

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Tom R. Hawkins, Ph.D.

B. The Capacity to Handle the Negative Emotional States

The latest information from Dr. Wilder seems to indicate that a baby builds its joy
capacity from approximately 3 to 9 months after birth (a 6-month period) by
synchronizing with its mothers joy in its presence. They also learn from being
securely at rest with mother. My own theologically based observation would
suggest that synchronization best includes the father as well, though in part that
role is built upon the heavy investment of time by the mother early on. The
fathers role has not been as well studied at this point.
1. From about 12 months to 18 months of age (a 6-month period) scientists
have documented that a child begins a processing the negative emotional
states, such as fear, anger, shame, frustration, disgust, hopelessness, despair,
or a combination of them, such as hopeless despair.

JOY

JOY

Negative emotional states

Fear, Shame, Frustration

Disgust, Hopelessness,
Despair, Anger,
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Tom R. Hawkins, Ph.D.

JOY

Combination of emotions
such as
Hopeless Despair
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When a baby first experiences the distress of a negative emotional states, it

seems to momentarily lose its sense of identity, or forget who he/she is in the
joy state (Jim Wilder).
2. If the process of learning to synchronize with the mother in joy (and rest) is
successful, then the infant can spend the time from 12-18 months learning to
synchronize with the mother in each of the negative emotions, and then learn
to come back to joy using the skills learned from 3 months to 9 months.
Suppose, for example, that the mother finds the baby excitedly expressing its
joy at discovering a brown, gooey substance in its diaper. The mother
discovers the baby and responds not with joy, but with disgust. Her feeling of
disgust is then mirrored by the baby, but the mother cleans the baby up and
instinctively starts to coo and giggle while powdering the baby and putting on
a clean diaper. This process helps the baby again synchronizes with mother
and return with her to the more comfortable state of joy. We are not
suggesting that children be abused by a deliberate exposure to such states, but
rather, that parents beware of this developmental need and take advantage of
these opportunities to synchronize. This is in contrast to the previously
popular child rearing techniques from which parents learned to make the
child feel happy at all costs and somewhat desperately tried to keep the child
from experiencing the negative emotional states.

JOY
Baby finds
brown
substance in
diaper
Mom finds Baby

Oh Yuk
Disgust

Baby
mirrors

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JOY
Mom
returns

Disgust
To m R . Hawkins, P h.D.

Baby
returns
mirrors
Mom

Mom
Mirrors
Disgust
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Baby
Disgust
To m R . Hawkins, P h.D.

3. By 18 months, if the baby has been able to experience finding its way back
to joy from all the negative emotional states, then the brain actually
completes a neurological circuit that Dr. Wilder calls a ring of joy.
a. When this is successful:

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1) The child can handle any emotion and still find its way back to joy.
Research indicates that with healthy experience and training in time a
child can learn to find their way back to joy in about 90 seconds.
Obviously most babies and most adults have not successfully learned
to do this with all the emotions.
2) The child experiences a unified identity. It does not forget who it is
when it is experiencing a negative emotional state.
b. When this is not successful:
1) The child (and eventually the adult) in a disconnected negative
emotional state will not have access to all the brain circuits available to
it when it is in a joyful state. This means it will take longer to get back
to joy.
2) The child (and eventually the adult) will thus not feel or act like
itself when experiencing those negative emotions from which it was
unable to learn to return to joy.
3) The persons capacity to handle negative emotional states will be
impaired.
It is possible that such desynchronization may be a precursor to full blown
dissociative disorders.1
C. Building Emotional Capacity Later in Life
When emotional capacity is not adequately developed at this optimal stage of life,
there is evidence that it can sometimes be built at a later time.
1. Teenage years may be one time when a person can build additional capacity.
2. When a female becomes a mother, she seems to have a second opportunity
to create the necessary brain circuitry as she attempts to lead her baby in
and out of negative emotional states.
3. While it is not as optimally achieved, this ability to return to joy from
negative emotional states can seemingly be developed when a deliberate
effort is made to do so by synchronizing with another adult (with a
trained brain) in a close relationship. Marriage is the best example, but a
healthy support relationship and sometimes a healthy therapeutic
relationship may better serve to model the principle and allow for the
experience necessary to develop this capacity.

Malcom West, Ph.D., Kenneth Adam, M.D., Sheila Spreng, M.Sc., and Sarah Rose, Ph.D.,
Attachment Disorganization and Dissociative Symptoms in Clinically Treated Adolescents in Canadian
Journal of Psychiatry (2001) 46: 627-31.

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III. Learning to Synchronize

There are several aspects of synchronization that are crucial to mental,
emotional, and spiritual health, which must not be overlooked in the treatment
of DID:
1. The capacity to synchronize with God
2. The capacity to synchronize with other people
3. The capacity to synchronize within oneself
A. Synchronizing with God
1. The Westminster confession (164547the most celebrated pronouncement
of English-speaking Calvinism) summarized this issue well by stating that
the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.
2. Throughout Scripture we hear the Biblical writers cry out for connection to
God. Psalm 42:1 says, As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul
pants for you, O God.
3. Learning to understand (synchronize with) the intelligent design (by God) of
the Creation was a goal expressed by some of the early scientists, such as
Isaac Newton.
4. Like a beautiful dance where a partner anticipates the moves of the other, so
God intended that we live in sync with Himself. Of course, the Fall (Gen
3:1-6) changed that intimate connection to God and every other connection
in the created order.
B. Synchronizing with other people
To understand synchronization with other people, some further information from
the neurobiological field may be helpful. Again, the relationship between mother
and baby is crucial in the first months of life.
When a baby is born, innumerable interactions begin between baby and mother at
a very basic level neurobiologically. While there are very early spiritual
interactions taking place even in the womb, for the purpose of this lecture, we will
focus on the interactions occurring between mother and baby after birth. These
have been studied by using brain scans of infants simultaneously made with brain
scans of the mother..
By synchronizing with the baby through the eyes, the mother downloads
information to the childs brain at 6 complete cycles per second. This process
begins to develop around 2 to 3 months of age and is ideally completed by about 9
months after birth. This enables a child to begin synchronizing with other
people as well.
Unfortunately, not all babies are born to healthy mothers who allow this to happen
in an ideal way.

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1. When the process is interrupted by A trauma (absence of good things),

attachment to the mother will be weakened and the capacity of the child to
connect or synchronize with others will also be limited.
In computer language this has resulted in a narrow bandwidth and may
explain the origin of what have been called attachment disorders, or in other
cases, borderline personality disorder.
2. When B trauma (bad things) occurs, the child may also develop trauma
bonds with the perpetrator, which disturbs their discernment and processing
of good, bad, and scary feelings (seen in brain scans of the amygdala
in the brain). They will also be unable to synchronize internally within
themselves, as we will discuss next.
3. From the perspective of a Christian worldview, when a child cannot connect
with other people, he/she (or some part of the person) may, in extreme cases,
be predisposed to develop unhealthy spiritual connections to the unseen
realm of darkness. Sometimes the child may display an apparent affinity for
finding comfort and connection within the dark spiritual realm (i.e. with
demons). Despite the torment possibly experienced, this provides a
connection to something that is known and may be viewed by the child as
better than connection to humans because at least demonic connection is
consistent, whereas connection to humans is perceived to be very
inconsistent. While I have heard this rather often from survivors, typically it
does not reflect their true feelings but rather is based on lies or double binds.
Obviously, this aspect of the issue is not recognized by the neurobiological
field with its emphasis on the function of the brain.
C. Synchronizing within oneself
1. As explained above, an individual needs to learn to synchronize within
oneself by building a complete ring of joy, or the capacity to experience
oneself as a unified person in all emotional states.
2. In cases of DID the person also needs to understand how its primary self has
become desynchronized in a way that differs from dissociation.
a. Dissociation
The literature is in agreement that the alter-identities reflect a dissociative
state. EEG studies have demonstrated that when the alters are out, the
back of the brain is firing. This area is more fear-based (Dr. Thomas
Brownback) and focuses on problem solving.

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Fear Based Alters live from the

back of the Brain

Dissociation is found with

alter-identities
Alter Identities

Fear

Desire
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b. Desynchronization
I have made abundant observations supporting the thesis that something like
dissociation (which I now recognize is better called desynchronization) is
found amongst what we have come to call the Primary Parts. These
parts of the person (when out) have an EEG pattern centered in the
prefrontal cortex in the front of the brain. This is where personal
preferences are expressed and the sense of identity, or being like
oneself, is found. While this EEG pattern has not yet been documented
for all the Primary Parts, I suspect follow-up studies will document this
thesis.
What is Desynchronized?
Primary
Identities

Good/bad
split

Primary Parts

Birth
Identity
Original
Self/O.S.

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Since recognizing this dynamic in 1997, I have repeatedly been told by

survivors that sophisticated perpetrators know about this
desynchronization at the Primary level, but had hoped to divert attention in
the therapeutic community to the alter dynamics.
The DID literature has been slow to acknowledge the existence of this
kind of dividedness. However, if we can call it desynchronization, we
will have potential support from the neurobiological field.

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Tom R. Hawkins, Ph.D.

Primary Identities Part 2:

Understanding Primary Parts and Desynchronization
The ideas presented in this section did not originate with myself. I am indebted to both
Pastor Doug Riggs and Dr. Ed Smith for the initial idea. We have developed these ideas
somewhat differently, however. Therefore, I am not implying that their understanding is
identical to mine. I likewise acknowledge the input of several hundred survivors who
have collectively helped me shape this understanding that is obviously still evolving.
While we acknowledge Gods gracious patience and insight in shaping our growing
understanding, I must take personal responsibility for ideas and conclusions in this
presentation, especially for any errors in the concepts presented here. They are coming
out of my own personal experience and may not reflect accurately what others are seeing
or saying. I also acknowledge that so far there is little in the literature that reflects the
content of this lecture.

I. We are now using the term Original Self (O.S.) to refer to what
was formerly called Core.
II. Definition of the Original Self (O.S.)
The O.S. (formerly called Core or Original Person) is the heart or essence of
the selfwho came into being at conception and who has the capacity to connect
most strongly with God and others.
Matthew 22:37
Love the Lord your God with
all your heart,
and with all your soul
and with all your mind (NIV).
Romans 10:9-10
That if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God
raised him from the dead you will be saved. For it is with the heart that you believe and
are justified, and it is with the mouth that you confess and are saved. (NIV)

III. Desynchronization of the Original Self (O.S.)

However, it seems that the O.S. can evidence different views of reality, which are
nearly as radically different as those demonstrated by alters. This is what I used to call
dissociation at the Core level. However, after receiving input from Dr. Jim Wilder
concerning the neurobiology of the brain, I now call this lesser form of seeming
dividedness in relation to the O.S. desynchronization.
We eventually adopted the terminology Primary to describe this more solid part
of the self, who in spite of seeming very much like the heart of the person, exhibited
drastic changes in perspective. (Usually the client is unaware of how drastic these
changes are.)
Primary Parts is the general designation we are now using to refer to all the
desynchronized aspects of the Original Self (O.S.).

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Tom R. Hawkins, Ph.D.

My goal in presenting this material is not to suggest survivors reality but to help them
discover their own reality by giving some possible arrangements and then helping
them discover what is true for them. Unfortunately, the literature on DID has given
them a model that focused on the alter-identities, and until now there has been no
generally accepted terminology to describe what appeared to be a kind of
dissociative experience at the Primary level. Only time will tell if this vocabulary
and perspective will become generally accepted.
A. The Three Primary Identities
1. The DENIAL IDENTITY (I.D.)
The DENIAL Identity believes that knowing certain information about ones
history is incompatible with survival and/or function.
Dont assume, however, that the Denial Identity always denies everything.
Sometimes if the survivor has been in therapy for a considerable time, the
Denial Identity, when recognized, will have already accepted the reality of
the DID. Nevertheless, the reality of the trauma or specific aspects of it may
still be rejected. Often the Denial Identity is aware in a general way of
whats happening in therapy and can sometimes make spontaneous changes
without your direct involvement.
Because pain usually drives a person into therapy, the denial dynamic is often
overlooked. However, in my experience failure to properly address Denials
issues early on will not only increase the internal conflict but also put
significant strain on the therapeutic relationship.
In extreme cases the perceived pressure on Denial to accept the truth may
cause the survivor to leave therapy. This could lead to serious legal
consequences because from Denials perspective all the internal stuff and
the trauma history may feel made up. He/she (or others inside, if she accepts
their existence) will seem to just have a vivid imagination.
The need to synchronize with the DENIAL Identity
It cannot be overemphasized how crucial it is to avoid the usual,
instinctive approach of trying to convince Denial of the reality of the
pain issues. Rather, the therapist needs to focus on connecting, or
synchronizing, with this part of the person. In fact, Denial is the identity
with whom it is most important for the therapist to synchronize and build
trust, as she/he is usually the Primary Part most closely connected to the
O.S.
This synchronization is important in order to help her learn how to find her
way back to joy from the negative emotional states. This will help build
her capacity to handle these states without losing her true (joyful)
identity. Obviously, no therapist has the time to do this sufficiently for all
his/her clients. My experience is that a team/support group/community is
most beneficial for helping a survivor build capacity.

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Tom R. Hawkins, Ph.D.

2. The PAIN IDENTITY (I.D.)

The PAIN Identity is most closely connected to the pain, depression and (in
the case of Ritual Abuse) cult-loyalty. (I use the word cult as an organized
perpetrator groupnot a specific organization.) While the PAIN Identity lives
with at least some awareness of the reality of the trauma history, in most cases
it couldnt handle full awareness of all the horror, terror, and pain. Therefore,
dissociation into alter-identity systems was necessary.
In Ritual Abuse (RA) cases, this Primary Identity may be cult-aligned or
cult-active. In most cases an outward show of loyalty is adapted for
safety in the midst of an intense terror-based double bind.
3. The CONFUSION IDENTITY (I.D.)
The CONFUSION Identity may itself be torn between accepting the reality or
non-reality of the entire trauma history, even though at times seeming to be
knowledgeable about familial abuse.
a. Possible roles of Confusion
Of the three Primary Identities, Confusion has the greatest variety of
possible presentations
1) May serve as the presenting Host (in which case the survivors
functionality will fluctuate)
2) May serve as a buffer to keep Pain and Denial separated. This
will sometimes be seen when the Pain Identity becomes overwhelmed
and starts saying she is confused. This could be the only signal of a
shift into this Primary Identity.
3) May serve as a kind of bridge, or transitional agent
a) In changing perspective from Denial to Pain
b) In being able to function, on the one hand, versus carrying the
pain, depression or family/cult loyalty, on the other hand.
4) May serve a key therapeutic role in helping to synchronize the
DENIAL and PAIN Identities.
Alternate Designations
Denial I.D.

Pain I.D.
Reality I.D.
Depressed I.D.
Cult-loyal I.D.

Apparently Normal
Person or ANP
Function I.D.
Its not real I.D.
Distancing I.D.
Disconnect I.D.
Non-abused I.D.
Protector I.D.

Confusion I.D.
Bridge I.D.
Buffer I.D.
Flip Side I.D.
Neutral I.D.

Tom
Tom R.
R. H
Hawkins
awkins ,, PP h.D
h.D..

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Primary Parts

Alters

Primary Identities

Denial

good/bad or
light/dark
split
OCHI*

Alter
Systems

O.S.
Confusion
Pain

Original
Self

Cult-loyal
part

*Original Christian Heart & Identity

03-14-03
(Doug Riggs)

2002 Restoration in Christ Ministries Tom R. Hawkins, Ph.D.

B. Dynamics of the Primary Identities and other Primary Parts

1. Shifting rather than Switching
Primary Identities (and other Primary Parts) do not exhibit the more distinct
switching that alter-identities manifest when they emerge or switch among
themselves. The change that occurs when Primary Identities step forward or
backward is barely discernible. Therefore, we are calling these changes
shifts rather than switches.
2. Shared consciousness
A shared consciousness at a surface level often camouflages the
desynchronization, or dividedness, among the three Primary Identities (and
other Primary Parts) so well that it will not be recognized by any but the most
careful observers. In fact, many survivors dont recognize this internal shift
themselvesuntil it is pointed out to them. This failure to recognize these
internal dynamics fits well with the neurobiological model of
desynchronization.

Primary Identities
Shared Consciousness
Confusion
Denial

Pain

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3. Primary Parts can age regress

This is a critical point that is a major way to distinguish between alters and
Primary Parts. In my experience, alters are typically stuck at a specific age,
whereas Primary Parts can be any age they want to be. If, for example, you
are dealing with an alter named Susie (a sixteen year old that handles sexual
encounters) and ask her to go to the origin of her issues which took place at
age five, you will probably find a five-year-old Susie (a different alter with the
same name). Most of the Primary Parts are able to stay aware of their adult
self and feel the emotions that they experienced as a child.
C. Other Primary Parts
One of the reasons some therapists have been frustrated doing Primary work has
been that in addition to the Primary Identities, there are also other Primary Parts.
Their very existence is a reflection of both desynchronization and lack of capacity
to return to their joyful identity from the negative emotional states. These parts
also serve a protective role for the Original Self. Each of these Primary Parts
needs to be dealt with differently.
1. Shields/Guardians
Shields/Guardians sometimes initially appear to be Primary Identities. They
function much like protector alters do for alter systems. They serve as
protectors of the Primary Identities by looking, sounding and acting like them.
They usually respond with I dont know to any questions regarding
memories of abuse or their origin. They cannot give information that will
bring resolution because their job is to know nothing. This again is a
reflection of desynchronization.
2. Little Ones
The Little Ones2 are hidden, fragmented parts who were separated directly
from one of the Primary Parts and have no life experience apart from their
trauma. They are each stuck in a specific trauma that no amount of work with
the child alters can resolve. They may be protected by alters and, when found,
are generally frozen in pain and/or terror. Once their specific trauma is
resolved (sometimes they have several similar experiences), they will
spontaneously integrate back into the Primary Identity (or O.S.) from which
they came as they have no interest in being out or living life. Truth
Ministry works very well in bringing healing to these hurting parts of the
person.

Originally called Persona, now called authentic children by Dr. Ed Smith.

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D. Distinguishing Primary Parts from Alters

PRIMARY PARTS

ALTERS

(Incl. P. I.s & O.S.)

(Alter-Identities)

Strong sense of Self

Can age regress
Usually life-aware
Usually never far from presenting
May live life behind altersgoal directed
Can express personal preferences

1
2
3
4
5
6

Feel different and separate

Stuck at an age
Possibly not aware when not out
May be deeply buried
Do a jobconcerned with immediate results
Not concerned with acting like themselves

Center for personal identity

Shift of perspective is imperceptible except
for speech content/viewpoint/body language
Projects alters
EEG shows them firing in the front of
the brain(?)
Resolution yields a whole person

7
8

Motivated and bonded by fear (Dr. Jim Wilder)

Switch is often more obvious

9
10

Reflects Primary conflicts and fears

Live from the back of the brain

(Dr. Jim Wilder)

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11

Resolution is partial and illusory

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