In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

(Friday speech was delivered by Imam Mohamed Baianonie at the Islamic Center of
Raleigh, N. C., on September 4, 1987)
I mentioned last Friday about the prohibition of backbiting, and the saying of Allah
(S.W.T.), in surat Al-Hujurat, (Verse 12), what can be translated as, "Dont backbit one
another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it
(so hate backbiting)." I also mentioned how the prophet (S.A.W.) defined backbiting
as, "You mention your brother with something that he hates." We also mentioned that
backbiting is a result of being hateful or envious to others. We also mentioned that the
cure to backbiting is by fearing Allah (S.W.T.), repenting to Allah and asking Him for
forgiveness, and not allowing anybody to backbite in front of us.
Today we will talk about certain exceptions for backbiting:
Firstly, a person who was unjustly treated. He can go to who is in position to remove
the unjustness, like a judge or leader, and talk about how the other person took away
his rights. Because the people cannot preserve their rights except this way. This is not
backbiting because Allah (S.W.T.) said in surat An-Nisa (Verse 148), what can be
translated as, "Allah does not like that the evil should be uttered in public except by
him to whom injustice has been done." Also reported by Imam Bukhari that the
prophet (S.A.W.) said, "Not paying a loan back, when able to do so, allows a person,
the loaner to mention it publicly, and the lender be punished." The point here, then, is
that complaining to whom is in position to remove the unjustness, is not considered
backbiting.
Secondly, asking for fatwah, (an Islamic legal opinion) from a person with
knowledge. In such a request, he might mention things that happened between him
and somebody else. Some of the things might not be good. But, Islam allows you to
mention them as long as your intention is to know the hukum, (legal Islamic ruling) in
those matters. The proof comes in the following of the prophets tradition, reported by
Imams Bukhari and Muslim that Hind, the wife of Abu-Sofian said to the prophet,
"Abo-Sofian is a stingy man, and he does not spend enough money on me and my
child; except if I take from his money without his knowledge. The prophet (S.A.W.)
told her, "Take what is enough for you and your child, with fairness." In this narration,

Hind mentioned Abu-Sofian, her husband, in a bad manner as a stingy man, yet
prophet (S.A.W.) allowed it.
Thirdly, advising the Muslims about what is good for them in their daily life. For
example, if somebody asks you about a man or women whom he intends to marry or
is a partner in business. You are required to tell what you know about him in terms of
his suitability for what you are asked about. The proof comes from the prophets
tradition reported by the group of hadith collectors except for Imam Bukhari, that
Fatemah, daughter of Ques came to the prophet (S.A.W.) and said, "Abo-Jahm and
Moaweyah both proposed to marry me who should I accept?" The prophet (S.A.W.)
replied that, "Moaweah is a poor man, and Abo-Jahm beats his woman." In this
tradition, the prophet mentioned something that the two men hated to be mentioned;
yet he said it because he was trusted for an advice.
Fourthly, warning Muslims and raising up their awareness of the enemies of Islam,
especially if the enemies are from inside, such as they might be Muslims but they
work, think, and plan against Islam. The proof comes from the prophets tradition,
reported by Imams Bukhari and Muslim, that a man asked for permission to enter to
see the prophet (S.A.W.). The prophet (S.A.W.) said, "Let him come in. What evil, he
is." (That person was a Muslim, but hes not a good person). The prophet (S.A.W.)
said so, to warn the Muslims around him from that man. Imam Bukhari also reported
that the prophet (S.A.W.) said about two persons mentioning their names, "I do not
think that those two persons know anything about our dean". He means that they are
hypocrites, who show Islam, yet hide their unbelief. Imams Bukhari and Muslim also
reported that Zaid Ibn-Arqam said that they were traveling with the prophet (S.A.W.)
and there was a hardship on everybody. Abdullah-Ibn-Obai, a well known hypocrite,
said, "Dont spend money on the companions until they leave the prophet (S.A.W.);
When we reach Madinah we will kick the prophet (S.A.W.) out of Madinah. Zaid told
the prophet (S.A.W.) about what was said. The prophet (S.A.W.) asked him about his
sayings, but he swears that he did not say any such thing. Zaid was sad until Allah
(S.W.T.) revealed, through, some, which proved that Zaid said the truth. In this
tradition Zaid told the prophet (S.A.W.), what that hypocrite said, and the prophet
(S.A.W.), agreed to what he said. The point then, is we are allowed to tell about the
enemies of Islam.
The Fifth and the last case in which Muslims are allowed to talk about others, without
considering it as backbiting, is when you identify someone as the blind, deaf, mute,

and handicapped person. The objective is not to put him down, but only to identify
him as he is known. However, if we can avoid mentioning his handicap, and finding
other ways to identify him, such as his name, then this would be better.
Lets be careful and watch our tongues from any backbiting. Tongues are one of the
main reasons that make many people to enter the Hell Fire. Lets stick to these
exemptions we had mentioned, and not to extrapolate other.

I am sure that everyone has heard of the term "Happy slapping". It

is the term used to describe the phenomenon of an individual or
group (of teenagers generally), slapping or striking a stranger while
an accomplice films the assault using a camera phone or smart
phone [1]. One would say that it has nothing to do with Muslims but
it seems we are doing something similar in our everyday lives. I
have constantly noticed that some Muslim brothers/sisters try to
shame other Muslim brothers/sisters whenever they find an
opportunity. You will see them in Islamic rallies, high streets,
shopping malls, supermarkets either lecturing some other Muslim
brother/sister loudly on how to do things properly or telling
someone how he is going to end up in hell because his beard is not
of particular length or berating one of the sisters because some of
her hair is uncovered and of course she will not be able to enter
paradise. These "Muslim Happy Slappers" take pride in telling off
people and shaking their head in disgust at other Muslims who do
not meet their criteria.
Sometime back I went to a small Muslim rally. I noticed that some
of the niqabi sisters were not talking to other sisters who were
either wearing hijab or were not wearing one, but were modestly
dressed. One of the non-hijabi sisters decided to break the ice by
saying Salaam to the niqabi group, but all she got in return were

angry noises, frowns and hostile glances. Out of the group of 3-4
only one returned something sounding like a Salaam. The ice was
certainly broken. One of the niqabis then started shouting at the
other sisters, lecturing them on how we cannot be Muslims until we
cover ourselves fully and passing judgement on the sister saying
Salaam for she will surely end up in hell for exposing her hair. The
brothers not to be out done, joined in shouting at non-niqabi
sisters, exclaiming loudly how they are following Islam incorrectly,
and how they will never smell the fragrance of Paradise, etc.
I assure you I am not maligning the devout sisters who wear niqab.
I appreciate their commitment to their faith. But people commit to
their faith in different ways - they should all be appreciated and
acknowledged. Nor am I saying those who do not cover should not
be encouraged to wear hijab, they should, but with great humility,
not with shouting, berating, lecturing and public humiliation.
I wonder why do so many Muslims quote Quran and Hadith in every
discussion, but not follow them when talking to our brothers and
sisters. Allah has clearly mentioned in the Quran:
"When a (courteous) greeting is offered you, meet it with a
greeting still more courteous, or (at least) of equal courtesy.
Allah takes careful account of all things." (Surah Nisa - 4:86)
Why do we not respond to the greetings that other Muslims extend
to us? At work I have often seen that when I say Salaam to some
brother or sister, I get an inaudible and mumbled reply, as if they
are ashamed to reply to someones Salaam in public. It is
fundamental that when a Muslim brother/sister says Salaam to us
we have to return his/her greeting in the most courteous way. If
you are frowning or if you do not reply please remember that Allah
is keeping a tab of this and you will be held accountable on the Day
of Judgement.

It seems we Muslims always have a problem with the way other

people dress, eat, walk, talk, pray, etc. As good Muslims we are not
supposed to be scrutinising these things to find fault but we cannot
seem to ignore small shortcomings. Probably as some people
sayShaitan diverts our attention towards these futile things and
influences us to pick holes so we do not spend time remembering
and talking about Allah.
We must remember if we do not like something about someone or if
we think that somebody is not following some Islamic tenet
properly, we are supposed to let the other person know without
offending them.
Allah says "Invite (all) to the Way of your Rabb (Cherisher
and Sustainer) with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and
argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for
your Rabb knows best, who have strayed from His Path, and
who receive guidance." (16:125)
Note that here Allah is referring to everyone and not just nonMuslims. One of the best examples of this would be the story of
Hassan (rta) and Hussain (rta), the grandsons of Prophet (SAW).
One day an old pious Bedouin came to Medina. At the time of
Prayers he began to make wudu but he was making his wudu
incorrectly. Hassan (rta) and Hussain (rta) saw the old man making
wudu wrong and they wanted to correct him. They didnt want
to offend him or make him feel insulted, so they came up with a
plan. They went to the old man and said, "My brother and I disagree
over who amongst us performs wudu the best. Would you mind
watching us make wudu, and be the judge to see which one of us
indeed performs 'wudu' more correctly? Could you please correct us
wherever we are wrong?" The man watched carefully trying to judge
who is better. In the end he understood what was going on and said

"By Allah, I did not know how to perform wudu before this. You
have both taught me how to do it correctly."
This incident has been preserved carefully in many Islamic history
books as it highlights the way Muslims must behave when they want
to correct someone. There are also many verses in Quran and also
Hadith that touch this particular topic. For example:
Abu Hurairah (rta) narrated that the Prophet said, "A believer is
friendly, and there is no good in one who is neither friendly
nor is treated in a friendly way." (Tirmidhi 4995; and Ahmad)
Aishah (rta) narrated that a man asked permission to see the
Prophet (saw) and the Prophet (saw) said, "He is a bad member of
the tribe." When he entered, Allahs Messenger (saw) treated jim in
a frank and friendly way and spoke to him. When he departed,
Aisha (rta) said, "Messenger of Allah! When he asked permission,
you said: "He is a bad member of the tribe; but when he entered,
you treated him in a frank and friendly way." Allahs Messenger
(saw) replied, "Aisha! Allah does not like the one who is unseemly
and lewd in his language." (Abu Dawud 4774)
"Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than charity
followed by injury. And Allah is Rich (Free of all wants) and
He is most Forbearing." (Quran - 2:263)
"Allah does not love the utterance of evil words in public
except by one who has been wronged. Allah is He Who hears
and knows all things." (Quran -4:148)
Abdullah Bin Amir (raa) narrated that the Prophet (saw) never used
bad language. He used to say, "The best amongst you are those
who have the best manners and character." (Bukhari 4/759 and
8/56)

My question to these "Muslim Happy Slappers" is which part of

these verses or Hadith do you not understand? Please make a firm
intention that the next time we see Muslim brothers with or without
beard, Muslim sisters with or without Hijab, we will say Salaam to
them. If we are greeted before we greet them, then we will reply to
them in more courteous way and with a smile on our face. And the
next time we feel the need to correct/instruct someone, we will do
so privately and humbly.
Allah rewards us for every good intention we make even if that
intention does not always result in action and believe me that on the
Day of Judgement we will be in need of all the rewards we can get
in this life.
Before I end I would like to mention a revert brother I knew of.
Having been born in a devout Catholic family John, (not his real
name), was interested in learning more about other religions. He
read the Quran and Alhamdulillah he embraced Islam. Since John
lived in Ireland he didnt meet any Muslims before his reversion. His
experience of Islam was based on the Holy Quran and the Sunnah
alone. When he moved to London he was in touch with lots of
Muslims. For the first time he was living around Muslims and he
loved every moment, at first.
Then some of these Muslims tried to impose their opinions on him.
First there was the constant suggestion that he should grow a
beard. Being a white Irish person, he did not have enough facial
hair and the only thing he could grow on his face was this small
"goatee". But this effort was ridiculed. Next on the list, people
disapproved of his crew-cut, his hair should reach his ears they said.
Then came the objection to the tie he used to wear. Some Muslims
kept quoting a fatwa saying that it is a sign for the cross so he
shouldnt wear it otherwise all his prayers, etc were futile. Then
came the demand to stop wearing Muslim skullcap and start

wearing the turban. Then it was the length of the trousers that were
not right.
There were so many things, that John had a nervous breakdown. He
had received no support, no encouragement from his fellow
Muslims. During the breakdown he used to keep crying and saying
that he will never enter paradise, since he simply cannot be a good
Muslim. It took John a long time to recover and now he doesnt tell
anyone he is Muslim. He never goes to the Mosque (even if it's
Friday) and lives in an area where there are no other Muslims.
I am not exempt from the advice I have written in this comment.
May Allah forgive any mistakes I have made here and guide us all
on the correct path. Allahu Alam.
[1]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_slapping