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    The World According To Putin

    Uploaded by

    Daniel Ortega
    The document satirically summarizes how the world's borders could be redrawn according to Russian President Vladimir Putin's principle of protecting Russian speakers everywhere. It suggests that Portugal would reclaim Brazil, Spain would gain control of most of Central and South America, and France would control most of West Africa. A unified Scandinavian kingdom and Arabia stretching from the Atlantic to the Indian Ocean are also proposed. The document also speculates that India could claim Pakistan and vice versa due to their shared languages, and that the United Kingdom would regain its former colonies such as the United States. However, it acknowledges that hundreds of independence movements would likely emerge due to the thousands of languages spoken worldwide.

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    The World According To Putin

    Uploaded by

    Daniel Ortega
    76 views2 pages
    The document satirically summarizes how the world's borders could be redrawn according to Russian President Vladimir Putin's principle of protecting Russian speakers everywhere. It suggests that Portugal would reclaim Brazil, Spain would gain control of most of Central and South America, and France would control most of West Africa. A unified Scandinavian kingdom and Arabia stretching from the Atlantic to the Indian Ocean are also proposed. The document also speculates that India could claim Pakistan and vice versa due to their shared languages, and that the United Kingdom would regain its former colonies such as the United States. However, it acknowledges that hundreds of independence movements would likely emerge due to the thousands of languages spoken worldwide.

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    The World According to Putin

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    The document satirically summarizes how the world's borders could be redrawn according to Russian President Vladimir Putin's principle of protecting Russian speakers everywhere. It suggests that Portugal would reclaim Brazil, Spain would gain control of most of Central and South America, and France would control most of West Africa. A unified Scandinavian kingdom and Arabia stretching from the Atlantic to the Indian Ocean are also proposed. The document also speculates that India could claim Pakistan and vice versa due to their shared languages, and that the United Kingdom would regain its former colonies such as the United States. However, it acknowledges that hundreds of independence movements would likely emerge due to the thousands of languages spoken worldwide.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as docx, pdf, or txt
    76 views2 pages

    The World According To Putin

    Uploaded by

    Daniel Ortega
    The document satirically summarizes how the world's borders could be redrawn according to Russian President Vladimir Putin's principle of protecting Russian speakers everywhere. It suggests that Portugal would reclaim Brazil, Spain would gain control of most of Central and South America, and France would control most of West Africa. A unified Scandinavian kingdom and Arabia stretching from the Atlantic to the Indian Ocean are also proposed. The document also speculates that India could claim Pakistan and vice versa due to their shared languages, and that the United Kingdom would regain its former colonies such as the United States. However, it acknowledges that hundreds of independence movements would likely emerge due to the thousands of languages spoken worldwide.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as docx, pdf, or txt
    of 2

    The world according to Putin

    Why should the Russian presidents innovative attitude towards borders be restricted to
    eastern Europe?

    WHEN Vladimir Putin justified his annexation of Crimea on the ground that he
    owed protection to Russian speakers everywhere, this newspaper took a dim view
    of his line of argument, pointing out that since linguistic borders do not match those
    of states, it would lead to chaos. We now recognise that this approach to
    international relations betrayed a deplorable conservatism. Since we pride
    ourselves on pushing the boundaries in search of a way to clamber out of the box
    and reach the summit of blue-sky thinking, we reckoned we should grasp the nettle
    of radical Putinism and run with it. We have, therefore, redrawn the worlds
    boundaries according to Mr Putins principles. We think readers will agree that the
    resulting map has considerable appeal.
    Under Mr Putins dispensation, things look up for the old colonial powers. Portugal
    gets to reclaim Brazil, Spain most of the rest of Central and South America and
    France most of west Africa, which would probably be fine by the locals, since many
    of their current governments are not much cop. A mighty Scandinavian kingdom
    comes into beingincluding Finland, although Finnish is very different from the
    Scandinavian tongues. Since Swedish is Finlands second language, the Vikings
    would have strong grounds for bringing about the sort of peaceful merger based on
    shared cultural values for which they are famous.
    A unified Arabia would stretch from the Atlantic to the Indian Ocean. There might
    be the odd squabble between Sunnis, Shias, Christians and adherents of archaic
    notions of nation; but united by a common tongue, the Arabs would be sure to get
    along fine, especially if they teamed up to smite the Persian-speakers on the other
    side of the Gulf. The two Koreas would become one, which might be a good thing
    or not, depending on which system prevailed.
    Since Hindi and Urdu are both a mutually intelligible mixture of Sanskrit and
    Persian, India could make a claim for Pakistanand vice versa. The existence of
    nuclear weapons on either side would bring added spark to the debate over
    linguistic precedence.
    Best of all, Britain would regain its empire, includingsince it spoke English first
    the United States. It would, obviously, give Barack Obama a prestigious position
    Keeper of the Woolsack, sayand a nice uniform. Britain might, however, have to
    surrender some of Londons oligarch-dominated streets, as well as Chelsea
    Football Club, to Russia. A sizeable minority of The Economists staff also speaks
    Russian and would like to claim Mr Putins protection in advance of the next pay
    negotiations.
    There is, however a hitch. Consolidation would be undermined by linguistic
    independence movements. Dozens of segments would peel away from Mandarin-

    speaking China. Mayaland would agitate for autonomy in Central America.


    Swahililand would demand independence in Africa. The worlds 7 billion people
    speak more than 7,000 languages; in Russia alone there are more than 100.
    Perhaps, on second thoughts, Mr Putin should quit while he is ahead.

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