It All Comes Down To This: Deflate-Gate:' A Final Solution

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The Lorian

Feb. 19, 2015

Sports

It all comes down to this


Duhawks battle Luther for sixth and final
tournament seed
by KATIE TRUESDALE | sportswriter

From unexpected injuries to changes in the lineup, the


Duhawks didnt exactly have an ideal start to their season.
With only two conference games left in the regular season, the men are doing what they can to earn a spot in the
Iowa Conference Tournament next week.
Over the course of the season, teams have been double-teaming one of the Duhawks greatest forces on the
court, junior Mirko Grcic, who is leading the team in rebounds.
Right now we cant dwell on the games in the past,
said Grcic. As a team, we know where we stand in the
conference standings. We arent
worrying about what the teams
ahead of us need to do in order for
We face an
us to make it in the tournament. I
uphill battle
truly believe that if we play like we
but we certainly
have the past two games and make
believe it can be
some minor adjustments, that we
done. If we dont
can win our last two games and gain
win, we dont
momentum going into the tournamake it. It is as
ment.
simple as that.
The Duhawks hosted Luther this
Nathaniel past Wednesday in the teams secSmith, ond matchup of the season. In the
senior guard
previous game, the Duhawks fell to
the Norse 72-64. But if senior Nathaniel Smith had anything to say
about it, the Duhawks were leaving
photo by MADDY COLE
the AWC with a win.
Nathaniel Smith dives to the basket for two of his 34
Smith had a career high against the Norse, scoring 34 points against Luther.
of the Duhawks 70 points on the offensive end. With only
Season statistics
a 31-30 lead at the half, the Duhawks capitalized on the defensive end
with multiple missed shots by the Norse. The men were able to keep
(through Saturdays game)
the lead and defeat the Norse 70-61, picking up a crucial win heading
Player.....................G Mpg Rpg Apg Ppg
into their next game against Coe on Senior Day.
Nathaniel Smith........... 15 30.3 4.9 2.8 14.2
Mirko Grcic................. 23 33.5 10.9 1.6 13.6
Seniors Nathaniel Smith, Luke Barry, Bobby Harmening, Regan
Justin VanWambeke.. 23 29.2 3.2 1.6 11.7
Takes, and Aaron Schueller got the start Saturday and were honored
Aaron Schueller.......... 23 32.9 3.0 1.0 11.6
for their four years of commitment to the team.
Bobby Harmening...... 23 26.6 2.7 1.9 7.3
Neither team led by more than six in the first half, as the Kohawks
Domonique Criss........ 22 16.0 1.6 1.4 5.9
Justin Schneider......... 20 18.5 3.3 0.8 4.8
took a 37-32 lead by halftime. With impressive play from senior Luke
Luke Barry...................14 11.9 1.4 0.6 3.6
Barry and sophomore Justin VanWambeke, the Duhawks were able
Sean Bourke.................. 8 6.5 1.1 0.1 3.0
to tie the game at 66 with two minutes left.
Danny Quinn.............. 23 14.7 3.2 0.7 2.9
The Duhawks shots just wouldnt fall down the stretch however, as
Regan Takes...................7 9.1 1.3 0.6 2.4
Coe held on for a 71-66 victory.
Dylan Humpal...............5 4.0 0.4 0.4 0.4
Jake Brock.....................4 2.5 0.3 0.0 0.0
Senior Day was a surreal day, said Smith. Although we didnt get
Patrick Schmelzle..........4 2.5 0.3 0.0 0.0
the result we wanted, it was a great moment to step onto the court one
Parish Mason.................3 1.3 0.0 0.0 0.0
last time with my fellow seniors. Im truly blessed to have been part of
Totals.................... 23 35.6 11.3 70.1
this program for four years.
Opponents............ 23 35.4 12.1 74.0
We just didnt get enough defensive stops and missed a couple easy
Leaders
buckets that were ultimately the difference maker.
Points...........................Nathaniel Smith (14.2)
The Duhawks (9-14, 4-8) will finish their season with two away
FG%.............................. Sean Bourke (.714)
3PT%............................... Luke Barry (.417)
games against Central and Simpson - teams theyve already defeated
FT%....................Justin VanWambeke (.833)
once this season.
Rebounds..................... Mirko Grcic (10.9)*
We face an uphill battle, said Smith. But we certainly believe it
Assists....................... Nathaniel Smith (2.8)
can be done. If we dont win, we dont make it. It is as simple as that.
Steals...................Justin VanWambeke (1.6)
Blocks...................... Justin Schneider (0.9)
I think if we just keep that in our mind and fuel our fire then the rest
Minutes..........................Mirko Grcic (33.5)
will take care of itself. We got to go on the road and win. Thats the
(Leads conference*)
biggest obstacle.

,,

DeWitt rides out a winner


by DREW BRASHAW | asst. sports editor

Loras wrestling wrapped up its 201415 Iowa Conference schedule on Friday


night, as the Duhawks played host to
Wartburg . The top-ranked Knights went
back to Waverly with a 33-6 victory, but
Loras senior Steven DeWitt gave the fans
at the AWC something to cheer about on
Senior Night, scoring an 8-5 decision over
6th-ranked Drew Wagenhoffer at 157lbs.
It feels good, DeWitt said. Its kind
of your worst nightmare as a wrestler, to
lose in front of your mama and the home
crowd on Senior Night, so Im excited.
After falling behind 3-2 in the first,
DeWitt chose the bottom position to
begin the second period. He scored 4
points on a quick reversal and near fall,
and rode out the period to erase Wagenhoffers riding time advantage. DeWitt
added a takedown in the third and closed
the bout with an 8-5 victory in his final
home dual meet.
It shows Ive made improvements
throughout the year, said DeWitt, who
finished the regular season ranked 5th at
157lbs. Earlier in the year, Wagenhoffer
shined extraordinarily well at one tournament that I did poorly in, so Ive made
progress.
Unfortunately for the Duhawks (911, 3-4 IIAC) not much else went right
against the nations No. 1 team.

Loras first-years Dayton Olson and


Michael Triplett at 125lbs. and 133lbs.
were blanked by a pair of #6 ranked
Knights in Jake Angnitsch and Connor
Campo to make the team score 7-0 in favor of Wartburg after two bouts.
Junior Nick Steger was the first Duhawk to find the scoreboard, earning a
gritty 3-1 decision over Wartburgs Kaz
Onoo at 141lbs. after getting off to a slow
start in the match.
I really wanted to do as much for the
team as I could, said Steger. Wartburgs
really tough, so I wanted to keep everything on-level and keep things from getting out of control. I may have come out
a little sluggish, a little slow, but I really
wanted to get something started for the
team.
Sophomore Evan Weaver sought
to build on the momentum of Stegers
victory, and came close to scoring his
second upset victory over a ranked opponent in as many weeks. Weaver got in
on a single-leg late in the third period of
his 149lb. bout with #2 Kenny Martin,
but couldnt finish the takedown. Martin held on for a 3-2 decision and pushed
Wartburgs lead to 10-3.
DeWitts victory at 157lbs. made the
score 10-6 halfway through the dual, but
Loras wouldnt score again.
Sophomore Greg Vance and junior

Ben Kindle were on the wrong end of


major decisions at 165lbs. and 174lbs.,
failing to keep pace with Wartburgs second-ranked Andrew Steiert, and thirdranked Brandon Welter, respectively.
At 184lbs., first-year Awais Arain was
overpowered by seventh-ranked Devin
Peterson, who bulldozed his way to a pinfall victory 0:47 into the first period.
Junior Malcolm Watson came surging back after falling behind early in his
197lb. match against Wartburgs Gerard
Roman, but his rally came a little too
late, and Roman secured the 4-2 decision. Loras forfeited at 285lbs. to make
the final score 33-6 for Wartburg (18-1,
7-0 IIAC).
We wanted to come out and compete hard and fight hard, said Duhawks
Head Coach Randy Steward after the
meet. We thought we were favored in
three matches, and we won two of them.
But from top to bottom, we didnt have
anybody who went out there and laid
down, and thats the stuff you really
have to look at sometimes. You just hope
to learn some things from it and move
forward.
The Knights victory earned them
their 23rd consecutive Iowa Conference
Championship, and 33rd overall. It also
marks Wartburgs 181st consecutive dual
meet victory against IIAC opponents.

COACHS CORNER

Deflate-gate:
a final solution
T

his season served to reaffirm


what we already know: the
NFL is corrupt from its
commissioner, all the way down to
its ball boys. This goes way beyond
deflate-gate, people! This is a
systematic pattern of unfairness
the likes of which weve never
seen before. But since the Patriots
scandal is fresh in our minds, lets
Ryan Graham
sports editor
start there.
What can I say about Bill
Belichick? That smarmy, mediatrolling, Darth Sidious-looking creature is always
looking for an unfair advantage. Deflating footballs to
make them easier to grip? What will this guy think of
next!? Apparently, quarterbacks with smaller hands
like a little air taken out of the ball, while gunslingers
with larger hands (like Aaron Rodgers) like their
balls a little over-inflated. They say its a matter of
preference. Nevermind the fact that it has virtually
no effect on the outcome of a game, or that, since
teams are responsible for their own footballs, neither
quarterback should have an unfair advantage.
TOO BAD, ITS CHEATING! I dont care if everyone
does it teams should NOT be able to customize
equipment based on the size of their players.
Read between the lines, people! This goes way
beyond footballs! Have you ever noticed how some
guys wear bigger shoulder pads than othersand
how theyre the ones delivering all the big hits? Its
ridiculous! We need to issue standardized, one-sizefits-all shoulder pads. The same goes for helmets, too!
And what about the discrepancy in glove sizes? You got
guys out there with these MASSIVE gloves, making all
these one-handed catches! Theyre cheaters, too! Why
should some players get more surface area to catch the
ball? It all seems too fishy to me.
AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT CLEATS!?
Jesus, you got guys running around in clown shoes
out there! Did you know that former Vikings fullback
Jim Kleinsasser was rumored to wear a size 18!?
Think of the extra traction and power those things
generated! Talk about an unfair advantage. We need to
standardize all NFL equipment! Somebody get Goodell
on the phone!
Speaking of unfair advantages, whats the deal with
some players being bigger than others!? Think about
it: should a 270-pound defensive lineman be allowed
to go up against some puny 200-pound quarterback!?
How is that fair? The league needs mandated height
and weight requirements. I propose we make the
limit six-foot-two, 200 pounds not an inch or
pound more! That should make it fair! No more size
mismatches, no more strength advantages its
perfect!
I know what youre thinking Not all current NFL
players are 6-foot-2, 200 pounds. Wouldnt some
guys be forced into retirement? Only if they fail to
complete the leagues new body realignment surgery!
Each player will have their excess muscles surgically
scraped from their ligaments, and their bones shaved
down to fit into their new 6-foot-2 frame!
On second thought, lets skip the middle man! Ive
already made one Star Wars reference in this HOT
TAKE, why stop there? Lets see if we can unlock the
technology they used in Attack of the Clones to
create an entire army of identical players. Theyll all
run the 40 in 4.6 seconds, have 33 inch verticals, and
theyll all max-out at 250 on the bench press! Each
player will be capable of playing any position! Best of
all, they all get paid the same salary, meaning we wont
have to deal with that pesky collective bargaining
agreement again! Each game, both teams will have
exactly 300 yards of total offense, one turnover, five
penalties, and every game will end in a 21-21 tie! The
league will have so much parity that every team will
finish 0-0-16. After five straight seasons of 32-way ties
for first-place, the NFL will cease to exist! Kids will
stop playing in Pop-Warner leagues, high school and
college programs will start to fold, and football will
become an ancient sport that people only read about in
history books, like camel jumping or lacrosse.
Oh, but old Roger isnt about to go gentle into that
good night. The NFL will RISE AGAIN, as Goodell and
his team of NFL Executives band together to stage a
mass-genocide, ridding the world of all women (and
men who arent 6-foot-2, 200 pounds), BECAUSE THEY
DONT FIT ZE PROTOTYPE. With no women left for
reproduction, the human race will slowly die off-- one
6-foot-2, 200 pound man after another until planet
earth is left vacant a burning ball of despondency and
devastation a reminder of what happens when seeking
an unfair advantage GOES TOO FAR.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, TOM BRADY!? IS THIS
WHAT YOU WANTED? YOUVE DOOMED US ALL!
WERE ALL GONNA DIE! WERE ALL GONNA
DIE! THE FOOTBALLS WERE FLAT NOW WERE
ALL GONNA DIE!

GRAHAM SLAM

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